|
There s Something About Mary
|
| 00:00:36 |
His friends would say, stop whinin', |
| 00:00:41 |
His friends would say, stop pinin', |
| 00:00:47 |
They've tried to set him up |
| 00:00:53 |
But there's somethin' about Mary |
| 00:00:59 |
Mary... |
| 00:01:02 |
There's just somethin' about Mary |
| 00:01:09 |
Well, his friends say, |
| 00:01:15 |
That he should have some fun, |
| 00:01:21 |
Well, they may know about domestic |
| 00:01:27 |
But they don't know a thing about love |
| 00:01:32 |
Well, his friends would say he's dreamin' |
| 00:01:39 |
But they've never fallen in love |
| 00:01:44 |
His friends would say, be reasonable, |
| 00:01:52 |
But there's somethin' about Mary |
| 00:01:59 |
Mary... |
| 00:02:03 |
There's just somethin' about Mary |
| 00:02:18 |
When I was 16 years old, |
| 00:02:24 |
Hey, Renise. |
| 00:02:27 |
Hey. |
| 00:02:29 |
So, uh, what's up? |
| 00:02:32 |
Cool. |
| 00:02:38 |
So I was wondering... I don't know, |
| 00:02:41 |
if... if maybe you |
| 00:02:44 |
If you don't want to, |
| 00:02:46 |
I just wondered if maybe |
| 00:02:48 |
and... or, uh |
| 00:02:51 |
if you felt like that, |
| 00:02:54 |
with me. |
| 00:02:55 |
Or, I mean, whatever. |
| 00:02:56 |
If... if you didn't. |
| 00:03:01 |
Did you take that bio test? |
| 00:03:03 |
Look, I heard this rumor |
| 00:03:06 |
so I'm gonna wait |
| 00:03:08 |
That sounds great. Yeah. |
| 00:03:12 |
OK. |
| 00:03:18 |
So, is that like a yes or a no or... |
| 00:03:21 |
I thought I made it perfectly clear. |
| 00:03:23 |
If everything else falls apart, |
| 00:03:26 |
maybe. |
| 00:03:28 |
I'm gonna hold you to that. |
| 00:03:36 |
Hey, guys. |
| 00:03:37 |
Hey, Mary! |
| 00:03:42 |
I wonder who she's going with. |
| 00:03:48 |
Her name was Mary. |
| 00:03:50 |
She moved to our little |
| 00:03:52 |
from Minnesota two years earlier. |
| 00:03:56 |
What a fox! |
| 00:03:58 |
I heard she's going |
| 00:04:02 |
Who? |
| 00:04:04 |
Big guy. Goes to Barrington High. |
| 00:04:07 |
Woogie from Bore-rington High? |
| 00:04:10 |
Sounds like a loser. |
| 00:04:11 |
Loser? Woogie's only |
| 00:04:15 |
and basketball, |
| 00:04:18 |
I heard he got a scholarship |
| 00:04:20 |
but he's going to Europe first to model. |
| 00:04:22 |
Yeah? I was thinking of doing that. |
| 00:04:26 |
Sorry. |
| 00:04:27 |
Have you... have you |
| 00:04:30 |
Have you seen my baseball? |
| 00:04:32 |
Uh, no. Sorry, man. Haven't seen it. |
| 00:04:37 |
Have you... have you |
| 00:04:39 |
Sorry. |
| 00:04:43 |
Hey, check it out. |
| 00:04:45 |
Have you seen my baseball? |
| 00:04:46 |
Hey, buddy. Come here. |
| 00:04:49 |
I think I know where your ball is. |
| 00:04:53 |
- You've seen my baseball? |
| 00:04:57 |
You see that girl over there? |
| 00:05:00 |
That... that... |
| 00:05:01 |
She has it, |
| 00:05:04 |
She's got another name for it. |
| 00:05:09 |
Nice muffs. |
| 00:05:12 |
Have you seen my... wiener? |
| 00:05:14 |
What? |
| 00:05:17 |
Have you seen my wiener? |
| 00:05:20 |
What the... what the hell |
| 00:05:22 |
Wiener? |
| 00:05:23 |
Hey, get your hand off my car! |
| 00:05:26 |
My... my... |
| 00:05:28 |
Wiener. |
| 00:05:29 |
Fuckin' son of a bitch. |
| 00:05:33 |
Get up, fat boy! Let's go! |
| 00:05:34 |
- Take it easy. |
| 00:05:36 |
- Who the fuck are you? |
| 00:05:39 |
Fight! Fight! |
| 00:05:40 |
Get out of my face. |
| 00:05:42 |
You want the first punch? |
| 00:05:44 |
Yeah! Fight! |
| 00:05:45 |
Fight! Fight! |
| 00:05:46 |
What's the matter with you? |
| 00:05:50 |
You OK, Warren? |
| 00:05:51 |
Mary, have you seen my baseball? |
| 00:05:53 |
No, I haven't seen your baseball. |
| 00:05:55 |
What are you doing leaving the yard? |
| 00:05:56 |
You know you're not supposed |
| 00:05:58 |
You know him? |
| 00:05:59 |
He's my brother. |
| 00:06:00 |
I'm her brother. |
| 00:06:02 |
Warren. |
| 00:06:03 |
I didn't realize, you know? |
| 00:06:06 |
You ought to tell him |
| 00:06:08 |
Jerk. |
| 00:06:10 |
Are you OK? |
| 00:06:12 |
Oh, yeah, I'm fine. |
| 00:06:15 |
You OK? |
| 00:06:19 |
Thanks, Ted. |
| 00:06:21 |
I couldnt believe |
| 00:06:24 |
Some of my best friends |
| 00:06:27 |
I think Joe Montana |
| 00:06:28 |
is, like, the most |
| 00:06:32 |
I mean, he should have been |
| 00:06:34 |
Look what he did at Notre Dame. |
| 00:06:36 |
It's so ridiculous. |
| 00:06:38 |
Exactly. |
| 00:06:39 |
I'm telling you, this year, |
| 00:06:42 |
All the way. |
| 00:06:45 |
Piggyback ride! Piggyback! |
| 00:06:47 |
Warren, stop it. Leave Ted alone. |
| 00:06:50 |
No, that's OK. I'll do it. |
| 00:06:52 |
If you think he can hold me. |
| 00:06:53 |
Are you kidding? |
| 00:06:55 |
He's 230 pounds. |
| 00:06:57 |
You don't have to. |
| 00:06:58 |
It's OK. I got a little disc thing, |
| 00:06:59 |
but it's all right. |
| 00:07:00 |
All right, here we go! |
| 00:07:02 |
There we go! Whoo! |
| 00:07:04 |
Fun, huh, Warren? |
| 00:07:05 |
He's a real Clydesdale, isn't he? |
| 00:07:08 |
Yeah, Warren, buckin' bronco. |
| 00:07:10 |
My turn now. |
| 00:07:11 |
My turn. |
| 00:07:12 |
OK. Well, I don't... |
| 00:07:14 |
- Ow! |
| 00:07:17 |
Giddy up! |
| 00:07:19 |
That's fun. Whoo! |
| 00:07:22 |
That's fun, huh, Warren? |
| 00:07:27 |
Whoa! |
| 00:07:33 |
That was fun. |
| 00:07:35 |
He's only 230, huh? |
| 00:07:36 |
Yeah. |
| 00:07:37 |
- I'm in the yard now. I'll hide. |
| 00:07:41 |
He's got a lot of energy. |
| 00:07:44 |
Yeah. He's great. |
| 00:07:48 |
Thanks for walking us back. |
| 00:07:50 |
Yeah, no problem. |
| 00:07:51 |
I'm, uh, I'm just gonna... |
| 00:07:53 |
So, are you... |
| 00:07:55 |
Huh? |
| 00:07:57 |
Uh, oh. Uh... |
| 00:07:59 |
I... I don't... I think proms are... |
| 00:08:00 |
'Cause I thought maybe we, um |
| 00:08:02 |
- ..dumb. |
| 00:08:03 |
Oh, you're gonna go with, like, |
| 00:08:06 |
You want, like, a designated driver? |
| 00:08:09 |
No, no. I mean, you and me. |
| 00:08:11 |
Like, we could go together. The two of us. |
| 00:08:16 |
- You... you and me? |
| 00:08:23 |
Well, is that a yes or a no? |
| 00:08:26 |
- Sure. All right. |
| 00:08:29 |
Cool. |
| 00:08:31 |
I'm gonna take Warren back inside. |
| 00:08:34 |
I'll... I'll see you at school. |
| 00:08:36 |
Cool. I'll catch you back at school. |
| 00:08:39 |
From that moment on, |
| 00:08:41 |
the guys at school looked at me |
| 00:08:44 |
You're a fuckin' liar. |
| 00:08:47 |
Do you expect us to believe |
| 00:08:48 |
that you're going |
| 00:08:50 |
What's so crazy about that? |
| 00:08:53 |
Oh, yeah, dirt bud, |
| 00:08:57 |
What happened to Woogie? |
| 00:08:59 |
She said she broke up with him, |
| 00:09:01 |
that he was getting weird on her. |
| 00:09:03 |
I got 20 bucks that says |
| 00:09:06 |
Why not make it 100? |
| 00:09:07 |
Rock on. |
| 00:09:32 |
I've already paid him |
| 00:09:34 |
I'm not paying until the job gets done. |
| 00:09:37 |
What the hell do you want? |
| 00:09:46 |
I'm Ted Stroehmann. |
| 00:09:49 |
Prom? Mary went to the prom |
| 00:09:53 |
Woogie? |
| 00:09:55 |
Woogie! |
| 00:09:56 |
Oh. |
| 00:09:58 |
I see. |
| 00:10:02 |
Charlie, you are so mean! |
| 00:10:04 |
This is Mary's stepfather Charlie. |
| 00:10:08 |
Ted, don't pay any attention |
| 00:10:11 |
He's a laugh a minute. |
| 00:10:13 |
Very funny. |
| 00:10:14 |
Well, I'm just having |
| 00:10:16 |
It's prom night. |
| 00:10:22 |
Oh, hey. Hi, Warren. |
| 00:10:23 |
Listen, once he gets into that MTV, |
| 00:10:25 |
he'll be there for quite a while. |
| 00:10:29 |
Oh, here she comes. |
| 00:10:38 |
Aw, shit, look at that. |
| 00:10:57 |
Hi, Ted. |
| 00:10:59 |
Hi, Mary. |
| 00:11:02 |
You look really... pretty. |
| 00:11:04 |
Thanks. I like your colors. |
| 00:11:06 |
Oh, thanks. |
| 00:11:09 |
Poor Ted, he's been getting it both barrels |
| 00:11:13 |
Dad, you haven't been |
| 00:11:16 |
I was just fucking with him. |
| 00:11:21 |
Hey, Warren, did you say hi to Ted? |
| 00:11:24 |
About 10 times. |
| 00:11:26 |
OK. |
| 00:11:27 |
Hey, Warren. |
| 00:11:30 |
You've seen my baseball? |
| 00:11:31 |
Well, if it's a big white one. |
| 00:11:36 |
With, uh |
| 00:11:38 |
Iittle red stitching. |
| 00:11:39 |
Yup. It is. |
| 00:11:40 |
Then I think I saw it, |
| 00:11:42 |
right behind your ear. |
| 00:11:45 |
Warren! Warren! |
| 00:11:49 |
Get up, Warren! Hey, Warren! |
| 00:11:51 |
Warren! |
| 00:11:52 |
Be careful, Mary! Be careful! |
| 00:11:54 |
Get up, man! |
| 00:11:56 |
Let go of him! Get down from there! |
| 00:11:57 |
What are you doing? |
| 00:11:59 |
Ted! Ted! |
| 00:12:00 |
Warren, put him down! |
| 00:12:01 |
Whoa! Ohh! |
| 00:12:03 |
What the hell are you doing? |
| 00:12:05 |
Mary, Mary. |
| 00:12:06 |
This is my house here! |
| 00:12:07 |
Warren, are you OK, buddy? |
| 00:12:09 |
It's OK, Warren. It's OK. |
| 00:12:12 |
Here you go. |
| 00:12:13 |
What the hell's the matter with you? |
| 00:12:14 |
I was just trying |
| 00:12:17 |
Baseball? What baseball? |
| 00:12:18 |
I had a baseball. |
| 00:12:20 |
What baseball? |
| 00:12:21 |
There was... it's right... |
| 00:12:22 |
There was a baseball here. |
| 00:12:24 |
I swear, I brought him a baseball, |
| 00:12:26 |
and I was just trying |
| 00:12:28 |
Are you yelling at me |
| 00:12:30 |
No. |
| 00:12:31 |
Don't make me open a can |
| 00:12:33 |
Ted, I should have told you. |
| 00:12:37 |
You all right, Warren? |
| 00:12:40 |
Oh, honey, your strap's broken. |
| 00:12:43 |
Oh, right. |
| 00:12:45 |
Hey, Ted, I'm just gonna |
| 00:12:47 |
I just need two minutes. |
| 00:12:49 |
I'll help you, honey. |
| 00:12:50 |
Hey, l, uh... |
| 00:12:52 |
Can I use your bathroom? |
| 00:12:55 |
- He broke the table. |
| 00:12:57 |
I didn't do it. |
| 00:13:01 |
- I swear... |
| 00:13:05 |
Maybe I'll open up |
| 00:13:09 |
Trying to do the kid a favor. |
| 00:13:45 |
He's looking at you! What is he... |
| 00:13:46 |
Oh, no. I... |
| 00:13:50 |
No, no, I was... |
| 00:13:51 |
Mom, wait! |
| 00:13:53 |
Shit! |
| 00:14:06 |
Ted, are you OK? |
| 00:14:09 |
Yeah, I'm fine! Everything's OK! |
| 00:14:11 |
OK, OK, just take your time. |
| 00:14:12 |
It's all right. |
| 00:14:15 |
He's been in there |
| 00:14:18 |
Charlie, I think he's masturbating. |
| 00:14:20 |
- Oh, come on! |
| 00:14:21 |
Well... |
| 00:14:22 |
He's not masturbating. |
| 00:14:23 |
Well, he was watching you undress |
| 00:14:25 |
with a silly grin on his face. |
| 00:14:27 |
I was watching the birds! |
| 00:14:29 |
- Do something. |
| 00:14:32 |
I think he needs some male help. |
| 00:14:34 |
- Oh, for crying out loud. |
| 00:14:39 |
OK, kid, listen, I'm coming in, OK? |
| 00:14:42 |
No, no. Don't... |
| 00:14:44 |
Exactly what the hell |
| 00:14:46 |
What did you do, |
| 00:14:48 |
Oh, I wish. I... |
| 00:14:49 |
I got it stuck. |
| 00:14:51 |
You got what stuck? |
| 00:14:54 |
It! |
| 00:14:55 |
Oh! lt. Um... |
| 00:14:58 |
Um, uh, well, um... Iisten, uh... |
| 00:15:00 |
It's not the end of the world. |
| 00:15:03 |
These kind of things happen. |
| 00:15:05 |
Let's have a look at it. |
| 00:15:10 |
Oh, my God in heaven, save him! |
| 00:15:12 |
Shh! Shh! |
| 00:15:13 |
- Shush! Quiet! |
| 00:15:16 |
- No! |
| 00:15:20 |
Sheila, honey. |
| 00:15:21 |
Uh, you gotta come here. |
| 00:15:24 |
What is it? |
| 00:15:27 |
Don't! Don't! |
| 00:15:29 |
Don't worry. |
| 00:15:31 |
She'll know exactly what to do. |
| 00:15:32 |
- Hi, Ted. |
| 00:15:35 |
- You OK? |
| 00:15:37 |
Holy shit! |
| 00:15:39 |
Charlie, you could have warned me. |
| 00:15:42 |
OK, l, um... |
| 00:15:43 |
Mrs Jensen, l... |
| 00:15:44 |
Right, right. OK. |
| 00:15:45 |
I don't want her to hear, you know? |
| 00:15:46 |
OK. Um, let's just relax here, OK? |
| 00:15:48 |
Now, uh, uh... |
| 00:15:51 |
What exactly are we, uh |
| 00:15:53 |
Iooking at here, huh? |
| 00:15:55 |
What do you mean? |
| 00:15:56 |
I mean, is it the, um... |
| 00:16:00 |
Or the... |
| 00:16:02 |
Is it the frank or the beans? |
| 00:16:05 |
Oh, l, uh, l... I don't know. |
| 00:16:07 |
It looks like... |
| 00:16:09 |
Franks and beans! |
| 00:16:13 |
Well, what's that bubble there? |
| 00:16:14 |
What do you think? It's a... |
| 00:16:17 |
Well, how the hell did you get the beans |
| 00:16:20 |
Shush, shush. |
| 00:16:21 |
I don't know. It wasn't like |
| 00:16:25 |
There really does seem |
| 00:16:27 |
coming through there, |
| 00:16:28 |
so I'm gonna find |
| 00:16:30 |
Uh, no. You know what? |
| 00:16:33 |
Hello there. |
| 00:16:34 |
Oh, Christ. |
| 00:16:35 |
What the hell's going on here? |
| 00:16:37 |
Neighbors said they heard |
| 00:16:41 |
Uh, well, you're looking at him. |
| 00:16:43 |
Uh, you gotta take a look at this. |
| 00:16:45 |
Would you just... |
| 00:16:46 |
Oh, Jesus! |
| 00:16:47 |
Ain't it a beaut? |
| 00:16:49 |
What the hell |
| 00:16:53 |
were you thinking? |
| 00:16:54 |
How the hell did you get the zipper |
| 00:16:57 |
Let's just say the kid's limber. |
| 00:17:00 |
Ow! Ow! |
| 00:17:02 |
Christ! |
| 00:17:03 |
What the... |
| 00:17:05 |
God... |
| 00:17:06 |
Somebody's gonna have to |
| 00:17:08 |
so I can get the truck in here. |
| 00:17:09 |
Lenny, come here. |
| 00:17:12 |
Take a look |
| 00:17:13 |
at what this numb-nuts did. |
| 00:17:16 |
Holy shit! |
| 00:17:21 |
Mike, Eddie. Get down here quick. |
| 00:17:24 |
Bring everybody. Bring a camera. |
| 00:17:26 |
We got a kid down here... |
| 00:17:29 |
No, l... |
| 00:17:31 |
No, there's only |
| 00:17:33 |
What? No. You know what? |
| 00:17:35 |
Look, look. I can just... |
| 00:17:38 |
'cause, look, I can just |
| 00:17:41 |
Look, I can go to the prom. |
| 00:17:42 |
Son, relax. |
| 00:17:43 |
You already laid the tracks. |
| 00:17:46 |
Now we're just gonna back it up. |
| 00:17:48 |
Teddy, be brave. |
| 00:17:50 |
It's just like pulling off a Band-Aid. |
| 00:17:55 |
A one |
| 00:17:56 |
and a two |
| 00:17:58 |
and a... |
| 00:18:00 |
We got a bleeder! |
| 00:18:01 |
Keep pressure on it. Keep it on. |
| 00:18:03 |
Everybody get out of the way! |
| 00:18:07 |
Step clear, gentlemen, please. |
| 00:18:09 |
He was masturbating! |
| 00:18:10 |
People, please move out of the way. |
| 00:18:14 |
He was masturbating! |
| 00:18:16 |
Move out of the way. |
| 00:18:18 |
None of this ever happened to Woogie! |
| 00:18:20 |
Are you OK, Ted? |
| 00:18:22 |
Ted! |
| 00:18:24 |
He was masturbating! |
| 00:18:27 |
Ted, are you all right? |
| 00:18:29 |
Sure. |
| 00:18:34 |
OK. |
| 00:18:35 |
OK, Ted. |
| 00:18:37 |
OK, let's roll. |
| 00:18:51 |
So, anyway, uh |
| 00:18:53 |
school ended a couple days later, |
| 00:18:56 |
and her father got transferred |
| 00:19:00 |
So I worked all summer |
| 00:19:05 |
well, I never saw Mary again. |
| 00:19:09 |
That was... what? |
| 00:19:12 |
13 years ago. |
| 00:19:14 |
That's very interesting. |
| 00:19:17 |
Anyway, |
| 00:19:19 |
I know it's not the type |
| 00:19:21 |
but I guess I just... I kinda... |
| 00:19:23 |
I must have blocked it |
| 00:19:25 |
'cause I was driving down |
| 00:19:28 |
and I started thinking about Mary, |
| 00:19:33 |
and all of a sudden |
| 00:19:36 |
I mean, I was... I was... |
| 00:19:37 |
I felt like I was gonna die. |
| 00:19:39 |
So I pulled off the road |
| 00:19:44 |
I guess it was a rest area. |
| 00:19:46 |
I was just kind of shaking and... |
| 00:19:49 |
You know, |
| 00:19:56 |
Highway rest areas. |
| 00:19:58 |
They're the bathhouses of the '90s |
| 00:20:00 |
for many, many, many gay men. |
| 00:20:07 |
So what... what are you... |
| 00:20:11 |
What are you saying? |
| 00:20:15 |
Oop. Time, she's up. |
| 00:20:20 |
We'll, uh, delve into that next week. |
| 00:20:25 |
Well, you know, you are a writer, |
| 00:20:26 |
and writers are artists. |
| 00:20:29 |
And most artists |
| 00:20:32 |
A little foofy. |
| 00:20:34 |
Hey, you guys, I thought |
| 00:20:38 |
Yes, indeed. Ted, help yourself. |
| 00:20:40 |
I don't think I'll have one. |
| 00:20:42 |
- You don't want one? |
| 00:20:44 |
You want something else? |
| 00:20:46 |
Come on. |
| 00:20:47 |
Not hungry, thank you. |
| 00:20:49 |
You want a cookie, something like that? |
| 00:20:50 |
Honey, we got cookies? |
| 00:20:52 |
Uh, no, we don't, |
| 00:20:54 |
No, no, no. Don't bake any. |
| 00:20:56 |
No, that's a good idea. |
| 00:20:58 |
Bake some tollhouses. |
| 00:20:59 |
Oh, great. Yeah, yeah. |
| 00:21:00 |
- Uh, chocolate chip or butterscotch? |
| 00:21:03 |
- OK. Good. |
| 00:21:05 |
No, it's fine. Don't worry. |
| 00:21:08 |
She loves this kind of thing. |
| 00:21:10 |
Really? |
| 00:21:12 |
That's what I want, |
| 00:21:15 |
a family, |
| 00:21:16 |
and somebody to, you know... |
| 00:21:22 |
It must be wonderful |
| 00:21:25 |
Each day is better than the next. |
| 00:21:27 |
How about you? |
| 00:21:30 |
The big "L." Hmm? |
| 00:21:34 |
- Ever been? |
| 00:21:35 |
In lurve. |
| 00:21:37 |
Well, |
| 00:21:38 |
once. |
| 00:21:41 |
Mary. |
| 00:21:42 |
Oh, God. Not Mary again. |
| 00:21:45 |
Look, I know it was brief, |
| 00:21:47 |
but it was |
| 00:21:48 |
it was definitely love, Dom. |
| 00:21:51 |
I mean, |
| 00:21:53 |
What ever happened to Mary? |
| 00:21:57 |
- She moved with her family to Miami. |
| 00:22:01 |
I did |
| 00:22:02 |
once. |
| 00:22:03 |
I called. She wasn't listed. |
| 00:22:04 |
So that's it? You get one little bump |
| 00:22:07 |
It's probably for the best. |
| 00:22:09 |
After 13 years, |
| 00:22:10 |
she'll probably think I'm a stalker. |
| 00:22:12 |
You know what you should do |
| 00:22:15 |
You know, to find her, follow her around. |
| 00:22:18 |
No way! That's way too creepy. |
| 00:22:20 |
Besides, she's probably married |
| 00:22:25 |
Girls like Mary... |
| 00:22:26 |
..they don't stay single. |
| 00:22:28 |
Hey, I've got an idea. |
| 00:22:30 |
There's this guy down in my office. |
| 00:22:34 |
He's a claims investigator. |
| 00:22:36 |
He goes to Miami every couple of weeks. |
| 00:22:39 |
This guy runs a little hot, |
| 00:22:47 |
So. |
| 00:22:49 |
Dom says you're looking for some lady friend |
| 00:22:52 |
Yeah. Yeah. |
| 00:22:55 |
That's cute. |
| 00:22:56 |
I don't buy it, but it's cute. |
| 00:22:59 |
You're not buying what? |
| 00:23:01 |
Ted, I'm the kind of guy |
| 00:23:08 |
I want you to level with me. |
| 00:23:15 |
Come on, let's talk. |
| 00:23:17 |
Did you knock this skirt up? Huh? |
| 00:23:19 |
No. |
| 00:23:20 |
She's blackmailing you, right? |
| 00:23:22 |
Blackmailing me? |
| 00:23:24 |
No. |
| 00:23:25 |
You want her dead, don't you? |
| 00:23:27 |
Dead? |
| 00:23:29 |
Were you... |
| 00:23:30 |
You're not serious, are you? |
| 00:23:32 |
You expect me to believe |
| 00:23:36 |
Hey, hey, hey, hey. I'm not a stalker. |
| 00:23:39 |
- She's a friend of mine. |
| 00:23:41 |
That explains why she's got |
| 00:23:44 |
and you haven't heard squat |
| 00:23:46 |
Yeah. A real chum. |
| 00:23:48 |
You're good, Ted. |
| 00:23:50 |
Real piece of work. |
| 00:23:52 |
You know what? Forget it. |
| 00:23:53 |
Just forget the whole thing. |
| 00:23:55 |
OK, I'll do it. |
| 00:23:56 |
But if this chick turns up with a toe tag, |
| 00:24:00 |
I'm rolling over on you, big guy. |
| 00:24:03 |
All right. |
| 00:24:21 |
Healy, you dog. |
| 00:24:25 |
Sully! |
| 00:24:26 |
Look at you. |
| 00:24:28 |
You hot shit, you look fucking pisser. |
| 00:24:31 |
Hey. Hey, good fella. |
| 00:24:34 |
Does he bite? |
| 00:24:35 |
A little bit. |
| 00:24:36 |
Get in. |
| 00:24:40 |
Here's the info you asked for. |
| 00:24:42 |
Thanks. |
| 00:24:43 |
Yeah, you should thank me. |
| 00:24:48 |
What, she scam you out |
| 00:24:51 |
Nah. Some guy gave me a couple bucks |
| 00:24:53 |
to track down his high school girlfriend. |
| 00:24:55 |
Stalker, huh? |
| 00:24:58 |
Yep. Big time. |
| 00:25:29 |
Looks like we found your Mary, Ted. |
| 00:25:32 |
Husband... negative. |
| 00:25:35 |
Children and a Labrador, |
| 00:25:38 |
negative. |
| 00:25:39 |
Tight little package, |
| 00:25:41 |
affirmative. |
| 00:25:51 |
Good morning, Magda. |
| 00:25:52 |
- Hi, doll. You're in my light. |
| 00:25:57 |
So you been out here all night again? |
| 00:25:59 |
You bet your ass I have. |
| 00:26:02 |
This is an important job, |
| 00:26:04 |
Ah. Neighborhood Watch. |
| 00:26:07 |
Listening to perfect strangers' |
| 00:26:12 |
This only picks up cellular phones |
| 00:26:15 |
Meaning? |
| 00:26:17 |
Meaning these are the people |
| 00:26:19 |
You got a right to know |
| 00:26:20 |
For instance, you know the guy |
| 00:26:22 |
in the green house down the street? |
| 00:26:28 |
And I am not surprised. |
| 00:26:30 |
I am not surprised at all. |
| 00:26:32 |
Because Puffy used to bark his balls off |
| 00:26:35 |
And you know that Puffy, |
| 00:26:38 |
OK. |
| 00:26:41 |
Listen, I'm gonna go hit some golf balls, |
| 00:26:43 |
and hook up with Warren, |
| 00:26:46 |
OK. |
| 00:26:47 |
- Bye, doll. |
| 00:26:51 |
Hello. |
| 00:26:52 |
Hi, Mary. |
| 00:27:00 |
Hey, Herb. How's it going? |
| 00:27:02 |
Apple for you today. |
| 00:27:03 |
Thanks, Mary. |
| 00:27:04 |
Have a good day. See you later. |
| 00:27:06 |
Lookin' good, honey. |
| 00:27:39 |
Hi, Mary. |
| 00:27:40 |
Hey, Mrs. Bailey. How you doing? |
| 00:27:41 |
Looks like we got jack on our hands. |
| 00:27:50 |
Hey, you want the sports page? |
| 00:27:52 |
Sure. Thank you. |
| 00:27:53 |
Take care now. |
| 00:27:55 |
Bye, you guys. See ya. |
| 00:28:19 |
Yeah. Can I have two, Mary? |
| 00:28:21 |
Yeah, you can have two halves, |
| 00:28:25 |
Yeah, it's good. |
| 00:28:29 |
- Will you marry me, Mary? |
| 00:28:32 |
but, um, I'm already engaged to Freddie. |
| 00:28:36 |
Who's Freddie? Me? |
| 00:28:37 |
Yeah, that's you. |
| 00:28:39 |
Will you marry me? |
| 00:28:42 |
What about Dolores? |
| 00:28:44 |
You gonna marry us both? |
| 00:28:45 |
I'm gonna kiss you. |
| 00:28:47 |
I think you're making out |
| 00:28:49 |
OK. |
| 00:28:52 |
Thanks, Mary. |
| 00:28:53 |
You're welcome, Zack. |
| 00:28:55 |
- No onions. |
| 00:28:57 |
No onions. |
| 00:28:58 |
No onions. How you doing? |
| 00:29:02 |
Listen to this one: |
| 00:29:03 |
"Seeking sensitive WASP doctor |
| 00:29:06 |
to share candlelit dinners, |
| 00:29:07 |
Iong walks in Coconut Grove, |
| 00:29:09 |
marriage." |
| 00:29:10 |
Is she looking for a corpse? |
| 00:29:12 |
You have to be specific |
| 00:29:13 |
You have to say, |
| 00:29:19 |
"3-pound cock and trust fund." |
| 00:29:23 |
I want a guy who can play 36 holes |
| 00:29:25 |
and still have enough energy |
| 00:29:27 |
to take me and Warren to a ball game |
| 00:29:29 |
and eat hot dogs. |
| 00:29:30 |
I'm talking sausage hot dogs, beer. |
| 00:29:32 |
Not light beer, but beer. |
| 00:29:36 |
Fatty who likes beer and golf. |
| 00:29:39 |
Jeez, Mary, where you gonna find |
| 00:29:45 |
OK, well, here's the catch. |
| 00:29:47 |
He has to be self-employed. |
| 00:29:50 |
Like a drug dealer? |
| 00:29:52 |
No, I was thinking |
| 00:29:54 |
of somebody like |
| 00:29:56 |
an architect or something. |
| 00:29:57 |
But I want somebody with freedom |
| 00:30:01 |
Somebody who can do it anywhere |
| 00:30:02 |
and just leave at a drop of a hat. |
| 00:30:06 |
And where would you |
| 00:30:10 |
Super bowl? |
| 00:30:12 |
That's good. |
| 00:30:13 |
I don't know. |
| 00:30:16 |
And you'd probably dump the poor guy |
| 00:30:20 |
What's that supposed to mean? |
| 00:30:22 |
It means you change |
| 00:30:24 |
No, I don't. |
| 00:30:25 |
Oh, come off it, Mary. |
| 00:30:26 |
Remember that gorgeous |
| 00:30:30 |
that you just dumped |
| 00:30:32 |
What was his name? Pack man. |
| 00:30:35 |
OK. We had fun for a while. |
| 00:30:38 |
Mary, cut the crap. |
| 00:30:40 |
What really happened with Brett? |
| 00:30:42 |
Yeah. Brett seemed so sweet. |
| 00:30:45 |
You know what Tucker said Brett told him? |
| 00:30:48 |
He said that if Warren wasn't in my life, |
| 00:30:51 |
that he would have |
| 00:30:55 |
- Oh. |
| 00:30:58 |
To hell with Brett, you know? |
| 00:31:01 |
I've got a vibrator. |
| 00:31:07 |
Shh! |
| 00:31:24 |
Those are the plays of the month. |
| 00:31:26 |
Thank you for joining us. |
| 00:31:27 |
Look forward to seeing you next Sunday |
| 00:31:29 |
on the Sports Machine. |
| 00:31:30 |
Have a good week, everybody. |
| 00:31:43 |
Oh, ho-ho, yeah. |
| 00:31:45 |
Ho ho. |
| 00:31:47 |
Here comes the money shot. |
| 00:31:55 |
Aah! |
| 00:31:58 |
First chink in the armor, Ted. |
| 00:32:03 |
Ohh. |
| 00:32:05 |
Shit. |
| 00:32:09 |
Ohh, yeah. |
| 00:32:19 |
Pop, you wanna get me a whisky sour |
| 00:32:22 |
Whisky sour coming up. |
| 00:32:24 |
Got some excellent news |
| 00:32:26 |
Oh, yeah? Excellent? |
| 00:32:27 |
I think your life's about to change. |
| 00:32:28 |
Really? |
| 00:32:29 |
So... so you found her? |
| 00:32:32 |
Oh, yeah. |
| 00:32:33 |
And you were right, man. |
| 00:32:37 |
My God. |
| 00:32:38 |
Really? |
| 00:32:39 |
So... so she hasn't |
| 00:32:41 |
she hasn't changed at all, huh? |
| 00:32:43 |
Well, that I couldn't say. |
| 00:32:45 |
Let me ask you something. |
| 00:32:48 |
Was Mary a little big-boned |
| 00:32:52 |
Big-boned? No, no. Not at all. No. |
| 00:32:54 |
I guess she packed on |
| 00:32:59 |
Oh, yeah. So she's a little... |
| 00:33:02 |
Oh, I'd say about a deuce, |
| 00:33:04 |
Oh, my. A deuce and a half. |
| 00:33:08 |
You shit out a bunch of kids, |
| 00:33:12 |
Oh, so she's, um |
| 00:33:15 |
she's married? |
| 00:33:16 |
No, no. She's never been. |
| 00:33:18 |
Huh? |
| 00:33:21 |
Four kids, three different guys, |
| 00:33:25 |
Hyperactive little fuckers, too. |
| 00:33:27 |
Tough to keep up with |
| 00:33:29 |
She's in a wheelchair? |
| 00:33:33 |
I thought that was part of your kick. |
| 00:33:35 |
Excuse me, I ordered a whisky sour. |
| 00:33:38 |
Are you sure it's the same Mary? |
| 00:33:41 |
Oh, yeah. It's Mary all right. |
| 00:33:45 |
Hey, don't look so shocked, Ted. |
| 00:33:48 |
I bet you've changed a lot |
| 00:33:52 |
What, do you think |
| 00:33:54 |
No, I don't think.. |
| 00:33:57 |
OK, I got all |
| 00:34:00 |
I got it off her bookie. Nice guy. |
| 00:34:02 |
You really should look her up, Ted. |
| 00:34:04 |
I mean, she's a real spark plug, this one. |
| 00:34:06 |
Well, thank you. |
| 00:34:10 |
Uh, Ted, |
| 00:34:12 |
don't you want the name |
| 00:34:17 |
What? |
| 00:34:18 |
..for 1,995. |
| 00:34:20 |
See the Sarone boys on Route 1 |
| 00:34:23 |
on Jefferson Boulevard in Warwick... |
| 00:34:40 |
Well, it hurts from the bottom |
| 00:34:43 |
And it hurts down to your soul |
| 00:34:46 |
That's because |
| 00:34:47 |
True love is not nice |
| 00:34:53 |
And it brings up hurt |
| 00:34:56 |
From when you were 5 years old |
| 00:35:00 |
That's because |
| 00:35:01 |
True love is not nice |
| 00:35:04 |
No |
| 00:35:06 |
Oh, pain, pain, pain |
| 00:35:10 |
Ain't that just love's name? |
| 00:35:13 |
Love can bring up hurt |
| 00:35:15 |
From way down low |
| 00:35:19 |
It now be emphasized |
| 00:35:23 |
True love is just not civilized |
| 00:35:28 |
True love is not nice |
| 00:35:30 |
No, no |
| 00:35:38 |
Where are you goin'? |
| 00:35:40 |
Huh? |
| 00:35:41 |
Oh, I resigned. |
| 00:35:43 |
Good luck in Miami, Pat. |
| 00:35:46 |
Miami? |
| 00:35:47 |
What... what are you doing in Miami? |
| 00:35:50 |
Uh, I took a, uh, job offer. |
| 00:35:53 |
With who? |
| 00:35:55 |
With, uh... |
| 00:35:57 |
Rice-a-roni. |
| 00:35:59 |
Isn't that the San Francisco treat? |
| 00:36:01 |
It was. |
| 00:36:04 |
They're changing their image. |
| 00:36:05 |
Yeah, well, listen, |
| 00:36:08 |
Good, good. |
| 00:36:09 |
And, uh, I still want to look her up. |
| 00:36:14 |
Who? |
| 00:36:15 |
Roller pig? |
| 00:36:16 |
Are you nuts? |
| 00:36:18 |
I thought you said she was |
| 00:36:20 |
Hmm? No, no. I said butt plug. |
| 00:36:23 |
She's heinous. |
| 00:36:27 |
You know what? |
| 00:36:29 |
All the same, I think I wanna call her. |
| 00:36:30 |
I mean, I know it sounds crazy, |
| 00:36:32 |
but, you know... I don't know. |
| 00:36:35 |
I just... I feel bad, you know? |
| 00:36:37 |
The poor thing, she's in a wheelchair, |
| 00:36:39 |
It's... it's a bunion. It'll heal. |
| 00:36:42 |
Bunion? You... what... I thought... |
| 00:36:44 |
You know what? That's not even it. |
| 00:36:47 |
I know this doesn't make sense to you, |
| 00:36:49 |
but I cant just turn it off that fast. |
| 00:36:54 |
I guess I still have feelings for her. |
| 00:36:58 |
This girl really means |
| 00:37:07 |
All right. |
| 00:37:09 |
Tell you what... |
| 00:37:11 |
just as soon as she |
| 00:37:14 |
Thank you. I'd apprec... |
| 00:37:16 |
Japan? What is... |
| 00:37:19 |
Why is she going to Japan? |
| 00:37:21 |
Oh, uh, you've heard |
| 00:37:25 |
Well, they go that way, too. |
| 00:37:26 |
Mary's a... |
| 00:37:28 |
What... what, are they desperate? |
| 00:37:30 |
She's a whale! |
| 00:37:31 |
Don't forget. It's a sumo culture. |
| 00:37:33 |
They pay by the pound there. |
| 00:37:35 |
It's sorta like, uh, sorta like tuna. |
| 00:37:39 |
Well, what happened to... You said |
| 00:37:42 |
You had your window, Ted. |
| 00:37:49 |
I had my window? |
| 00:37:52 |
I'm sorry, buddy. It's just... |
| 00:37:56 |
You're taking this all wrong. |
| 00:37:59 |
I mean, you think you blew it with |
| 00:38:04 |
that getting your dick stuck in your zipper |
| 00:38:09 |
You wanna say it a little louder? |
| 00:38:10 |
I'm sorry, but it was. |
| 00:38:14 |
I never told you that. |
| 00:38:18 |
Well, I was only four towns away. |
| 00:38:21 |
Excuse me. |
| 00:38:22 |
Oh, sure, sweetheart. |
| 00:38:23 |
Oh, man, I gotta go. |
| 00:38:24 |
I gotta get up at 6 a.m. tomorrow |
| 00:38:26 |
and help my boss' brother move. |
| 00:38:28 |
Your boss' brother? Who's that? |
| 00:38:30 |
I don't even know. I never met him. |
| 00:38:32 |
Ted, finish that novel |
| 00:38:37 |
- Yeah. |
| 00:38:44 |
Nice swing. |
| 00:38:53 |
Christ! Hit a house! |
| 00:38:55 |
I haven't swung |
| 00:39:04 |
Would you mind givin' me |
| 00:39:07 |
Yeah. Sure. Don't talk |
| 00:39:11 |
Oh, thanks. |
| 00:39:14 |
I'm gonna go get a soda. |
| 00:39:15 |
No, thanks. |
| 00:39:19 |
Oh, uh, look, I'm sorry |
| 00:39:22 |
but, uh... you got |
| 00:39:26 |
No. |
| 00:39:28 |
All I got are these |
| 00:39:34 |
You've been to Nepal? |
| 00:39:38 |
Oh, uh, not... not in months. |
| 00:39:41 |
I don't even know why |
| 00:39:51 |
- Nice meeting you again. |
| 00:39:57 |
So what's your name? |
| 00:40:00 |
Pat Healy. |
| 00:40:04 |
Wanna know mine? |
| 00:40:06 |
I already know it, Mary. |
| 00:40:10 |
How did you know that? |
| 00:40:11 |
'Cause it's right there |
| 00:40:21 |
Aw, damn! |
| 00:40:24 |
Wow. Are... are those blueprints? |
| 00:40:27 |
Oh, these? |
| 00:40:29 |
They're just some, uh, |
| 00:40:32 |
Museum,... hospital for kids. |
| 00:40:35 |
Really? Are you an architect? |
| 00:40:37 |
Just till I get my, uh, PGA tour card. |
| 00:40:42 |
No. I mean, are they putting up |
| 00:40:48 |
To tell you the truth, |
| 00:40:51 |
Oh, I'm sorry. |
| 00:40:53 |
It's just a job, really. |
| 00:40:56 |
- My real passion is my hobby. |
| 00:41:00 |
I work with retards. |
| 00:41:05 |
Isn't that a little politically, |
| 00:41:08 |
Well, the hell with that. |
| 00:41:10 |
No-one's gonna tell me who I can |
| 00:41:14 |
- No. I mean... |
| 00:41:17 |
He's got a forehead |
| 00:41:21 |
but we don't bust his chops too much. |
| 00:41:22 |
- So one day Mongo gets out of his cage... |
| 00:41:28 |
Well, it's... it's just an enclosure. |
| 00:41:29 |
No, but they keep him confined. |
| 00:41:31 |
Right, yeah. |
| 00:41:32 |
That's bullshit! |
| 00:41:33 |
Well, that's what I said! |
| 00:41:34 |
So I went out, |
| 00:41:37 |
A leash! |
| 00:41:38 |
Yeah, one of those ones you can hook |
| 00:41:40 |
and he can run back and forth. |
| 00:41:42 |
And, uh, there's plenty of room |
| 00:41:44 |
for him to... to dig and, uh, play. |
| 00:41:47 |
That kid is really, uh, |
| 00:41:49 |
he's really blossomed, you know? |
| 00:41:52 |
Now I can, uh, take him to movies. |
| 00:41:55 |
Baseball games. |
| 00:41:57 |
Fun stuff. |
| 00:41:59 |
Yeah. |
| 00:42:01 |
Sounds cool. |
| 00:42:02 |
Oh, yeah, it's cool for them, |
| 00:42:04 |
but for me it's much more than that. |
| 00:42:06 |
For me, it's... it's heaven. |
| 00:42:07 |
Y'know? |
| 00:42:09 |
Those goofy bastards are just about |
| 00:42:10 |
the best thing I've got goin' in this |
| 00:42:14 |
crazy world. |
| 00:42:19 |
Hey, dipshit, be careful |
| 00:42:23 |
What? |
| 00:42:24 |
You heard me. You already |
| 00:42:28 |
Well, I'll try to be a little more careful. |
| 00:42:32 |
What, are you fadin'? |
| 00:42:35 |
It's just that this is a little bit heavy, |
| 00:42:38 |
Heavy? What I wouldn't give to know |
| 00:42:43 |
you insensitive prick. |
| 00:42:44 |
No, I didn't... I didn't mean that! |
| 00:42:47 |
Yeah, yeah. I'm goin' down the street |
| 00:42:50 |
Wait! Wait! I'll get you |
| 00:42:53 |
Hey, I'm sorry! |
| 00:43:01 |
Tender, facial tissue left of L7. |
| 00:43:07 |
Hey, Bob? |
| 00:43:09 |
Remember Mary? |
| 00:43:12 |
Oh, yeah. |
| 00:43:14 |
I remember Mary. |
| 00:43:17 |
Hey, I saw her a few months ago |
| 00:43:21 |
How could you see her at a convention? |
| 00:43:24 |
Well, I'm a chiropractor. |
| 00:43:26 |
She's a what?! |
| 00:43:28 |
She's an orthopedic surgeon. |
| 00:43:30 |
And... oof... she's still a fox. |
| 00:43:35 |
What if the families |
| 00:43:38 |
Oh, God! That's what I've been trying |
| 00:43:43 |
OK, fine. We'll go over it again. |
| 00:43:45 |
Mary's a fox! |
| 00:43:46 |
What? |
| 00:43:47 |
Mary's a fox? What do you... |
| 00:43:49 |
Hey, folks. Here, let's... |
| 00:43:51 |
We'll break up. |
| 00:43:55 |
What the hell are you talking about?! |
| 00:43:57 |
Mary? My Mary? |
| 00:43:59 |
She's not in Japan. |
| 00:44:02 |
My friend says she's a fox. |
| 00:44:04 |
A surgeon fox. |
| 00:44:05 |
I don't get it. I mean Healy... |
| 00:44:08 |
Think about it! He never even |
| 00:44:11 |
He was there closing his deal |
| 00:44:19 |
What's up with your head? |
| 00:44:20 |
Oh. I... I get hives tap-dancing |
| 00:44:26 |
Jeez. You know, I feel like a royal shit |
| 00:44:32 |
You know what you gotta do. |
| 00:44:35 |
Fuck calling her. |
| 00:44:37 |
I'm goin' down there. |
| 00:44:39 |
Yeah, yeah, OK. |
| 00:44:43 |
ASAP. |
| 00:44:44 |
So, who's the lucky guy? |
| 00:44:47 |
His name's Pat. |
| 00:44:49 |
I met him at the driving range. |
| 00:44:50 |
Is he good looking? |
| 00:44:54 |
He's no Steve Young. |
| 00:44:56 |
So, what is he like? |
| 00:44:59 |
I don't know. |
| 00:45:01 |
Kind of a mook. |
| 00:45:02 |
A schlep. |
| 00:45:03 |
Why the hell you going out |
| 00:45:05 |
It's not like that, Magda. |
| 00:45:08 |
You know, it's... |
| 00:45:10 |
It's like that movie Harold and Maude. |
| 00:45:13 |
I don't watch the new ones. |
| 00:45:14 |
Well, you should, because it's probably |
| 00:45:17 |
The point is |
| 00:45:19 |
is that love isn't about |
| 00:45:22 |
money or social standings |
| 00:45:24 |
or age. |
| 00:45:25 |
It's about two people connecting, |
| 00:45:27 |
having something in common. |
| 00:45:29 |
You know, kindred spirits. |
| 00:45:32 |
Fuck kindred spirits. |
| 00:45:34 |
My little Puffy here is going to tell you |
| 00:45:36 |
everything you need |
| 00:45:38 |
in about two seconds flat. |
| 00:45:39 |
If Puffy starts yapping, uh-uh. |
| 00:45:42 |
If he likes him, |
| 00:46:12 |
Yeah. |
| 00:46:14 |
Pufferball likes it when I rub his belly. |
| 00:46:18 |
That is amazing! |
| 00:46:22 |
He doesn't like anybody. |
| 00:46:23 |
He never usually likes guys. |
| 00:46:26 |
He doesn't like bad guys. |
| 00:46:28 |
Is that right? |
| 00:46:30 |
I can tell that you're an animal nut. |
| 00:46:33 |
You are, aren't you? |
| 00:46:34 |
You got me pegged. |
| 00:46:36 |
You know, in Nepal, |
| 00:46:39 |
Kin ton ti, |
| 00:46:40 |
which means |
| 00:46:42 |
"noble man who is loved by many animal, |
| 00:46:52 |
Would you like a cup |
| 00:46:54 |
I'd love a brewski if you got one. |
| 00:46:57 |
We can do that. |
| 00:46:58 |
Hey, Magda, why don't you help me |
| 00:47:02 |
Oh. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. |
| 00:47:07 |
Kin ton ti. |
| 00:47:12 |
Puffer doesn't like bad guys, does he? |
| 00:47:18 |
Puffer? |
| 00:47:21 |
Puffer? |
| 00:47:23 |
Puffer, come on, boy. |
| 00:47:25 |
Would you like a little clam dip, doll? |
| 00:47:27 |
Uh, no, thank you. |
| 00:47:28 |
I'd love a bundt cake if you have one. |
| 00:47:32 |
- Bundt cake? |
| 00:47:34 |
1, 2, 3, 4, 5. |
| 00:47:39 |
1, 2, 3, 4, 5. |
| 00:47:42 |
1, 2, 3. |
| 00:47:43 |
Hey, Pat, do you want a, um |
| 00:47:46 |
a Budweiser or a Heinie? |
| 00:47:48 |
Uh, yeah, whatever. |
| 00:47:50 |
Come on, Puffer! |
| 00:47:54 |
OK, I'll just get you a regular. |
| 00:48:26 |
All set? |
| 00:48:36 |
Oh, good pooch. |
| 00:48:37 |
All we had were some Oreos. |
| 00:48:43 |
Oh, my God. |
| 00:48:47 |
He's got him wrapped up like a baby. |
| 00:48:51 |
He was... |
| 00:48:52 |
He was a little chilly. |
| 00:48:57 |
Well, here we are. |
| 00:48:59 |
- The museum? |
| 00:49:00 |
- I thought we were going to dinner. |
| 00:49:02 |
- Surprise? |
| 00:49:06 |
- Architecture exhibit? |
| 00:49:08 |
- I got to eat something or I get the shakes. |
| 00:49:13 |
My friend Tucker is upstairs and I want you |
| 00:49:16 |
- Come on. |
| 00:49:17 |
Yeah. |
| 00:49:19 |
Tucker. |
| 00:49:20 |
This is amazing. |
| 00:49:24 |
What do you think this falls under? |
| 00:49:28 |
Uh... |
| 00:49:29 |
Deco. |
| 00:49:30 |
- Deco, yeah. |
| 00:49:32 |
It's beautiful. |
| 00:49:34 |
Is this... OK. |
| 00:49:37 |
Is this a vestibule, or is it a portico? |
| 00:49:39 |
What is the difference |
| 00:49:40 |
Uh, when you're looking |
| 00:49:42 |
try to visualize the buildings |
| 00:49:45 |
as a whole, you know? |
| 00:49:47 |
Uh, try to see them |
| 00:49:52 |
totalitarian... ism, |
| 00:49:54 |
so to speak. |
| 00:49:56 |
Stone crab time. |
| 00:49:58 |
- Let's go to Joe's, huh? |
| 00:50:04 |
Mary! |
| 00:50:06 |
How are you? |
| 00:50:07 |
Good. |
| 00:50:08 |
I'm glad we saw you. |
| 00:50:10 |
Oh, come on, like you mean it. |
| 00:50:12 |
Tucker, this is my friend, Pat Healy. |
| 00:50:15 |
Well, it's a pleasure to meet you, Patrick. |
| 00:50:17 |
Same here. |
| 00:50:18 |
Pat is an architect as well. |
| 00:50:20 |
Oh, really? |
| 00:50:21 |
Where are your offices? |
| 00:50:22 |
Mainly, I work out of Boston. |
| 00:50:25 |
Boston, huh? |
| 00:50:27 |
Did you get your degree up there? |
| 00:50:29 |
You bet. |
| 00:50:31 |
Really? Where did you study? |
| 00:50:33 |
Harvard. |
| 00:50:35 |
Then you must've studied under Kim Green. |
| 00:50:38 |
Well, among others. |
| 00:50:41 |
You know, Pat, um |
| 00:50:42 |
does projects all over the world. |
| 00:50:44 |
Really? Where would I |
| 00:50:47 |
Well, have you been to, uh |
| 00:50:50 |
well, let me see. |
| 00:50:52 |
Santiago, Chile? |
| 00:50:55 |
Twice last year. |
| 00:50:56 |
Which building's yours? |
| 00:51:00 |
Are you familiar |
| 00:51:02 |
Did you build |
| 00:51:05 |
No, just down the street |
| 00:51:07 |
the Celinto Catayente Towers. |
| 00:51:11 |
It's quite a fine example, in fact. |
| 00:51:15 |
I recommend that next time |
| 00:51:16 |
that you drop in and take |
| 00:51:27 |
Hey, thanks for picking me up, man. |
| 00:51:30 |
Yeah, no problem. |
| 00:51:31 |
I've been driving for, like, |
| 00:51:33 |
so I could use the company. |
| 00:51:35 |
Yeah, I know what you mean. |
| 00:51:37 |
I've been standing in the same spot |
| 00:51:39 |
for five and a half hours. |
| 00:51:41 |
You know they made it illegal |
| 00:51:44 |
Really? |
| 00:51:45 |
That must make it really tough. |
| 00:51:47 |
So, uh, what's going on with you? |
| 00:51:51 |
Uh, no, no, |
| 00:51:52 |
I'm... I'm... I'm nothing. |
| 00:51:56 |
I am. |
| 00:51:58 |
- Yeah? |
| 00:52:00 |
I'm going to start my own company. |
| 00:52:03 |
Really? |
| 00:52:04 |
You want in? |
| 00:52:07 |
Uh... |
| 00:52:08 |
I... nah. |
| 00:52:10 |
I'm not... I don't really |
| 00:52:13 |
You heard of this thing |
| 00:52:16 |
Yeah, sure, 8-minute abs. |
| 00:52:19 |
This is going to blow that |
| 00:52:24 |
7-minute abs. |
| 00:52:29 |
Right. |
| 00:52:31 |
Yes. OK, all right, |
| 00:52:34 |
You walk into a video store. There's |
| 00:52:39 |
Which one are you going to pick? |
| 00:52:41 |
I'm... I would go for the seven. |
| 00:52:43 |
Bingo, man, bingo. |
| 00:52:45 |
7-minute abs. |
| 00:52:46 |
And we guarantee just a good a workout |
| 00:52:49 |
You guarantee it? That's... |
| 00:52:53 |
If you're not happy |
| 00:52:56 |
we're going to send you |
| 00:53:00 |
You see? That's it. That's our motto. |
| 00:53:03 |
That's from A to B. |
| 00:53:04 |
That's right. |
| 00:53:07 |
Unless, of course, |
| 00:53:08 |
somebody comes up with 6-minute abs. |
| 00:53:20 |
No! |
| 00:53:21 |
No, no, not six. |
| 00:53:23 |
I said seven. |
| 00:53:24 |
Nobody's coming up with six. |
| 00:53:25 |
Who works out in six minutes? |
| 00:53:27 |
You won't even get your heart going, |
| 00:53:28 |
not even a mouse on a wheel. |
| 00:53:30 |
That... good point. |
| 00:53:32 |
Seven's the key number here. |
| 00:53:34 |
- 7-Elevens. |
| 00:53:35 |
Seven dwarves. |
| 00:53:37 |
Seven, man, that's the number. |
| 00:53:39 |
Seven chipmunks twirling on a branch, |
| 00:53:42 |
eating lots of sunflowers |
| 00:53:45 |
You know that old children's tale |
| 00:53:48 |
It's like you're dreaming |
| 00:53:50 |
when it's clearly Brie time, baby. |
| 00:53:54 |
Step into my office. |
| 00:53:56 |
Why? |
| 00:53:57 |
'Cause you're fucking fired. |
| 00:53:59 |
Yeah. I got to pee. |
| 00:54:02 |
Your car seats are making me itchy, man. |
| 00:54:06 |
What are these made out of? Cactus? |
| 00:54:13 |
I'm only waiting seven minutes total. |
| 00:54:24 |
Ohh! |
| 00:54:25 |
Hey, wait your turn. |
| 00:54:26 |
Hey, I didn't... |
| 00:54:30 |
Whoa. |
| 00:54:31 |
Freeze! |
| 00:54:33 |
Wait a minute. |
| 00:54:37 |
This is a raid! |
| 00:54:38 |
No. No, no, no, I was peeing. |
| 00:54:40 |
That's what I was doing. |
| 00:54:42 |
I was peeing, too! |
| 00:54:43 |
Yeah, I'm sure you were all just pissing. |
| 00:54:46 |
Let's go. |
| 00:54:49 |
Come on. |
| 00:54:50 |
Shit! Jimmy Shay, is that you? |
| 00:55:10 |
Oh, my God. |
| 00:55:13 |
Ted? |
| 00:55:18 |
If you'll just let me |
| 00:55:20 |
outside of the truck. |
| 00:55:21 |
Look, l still have to pee, alright? |
| 00:55:23 |
Get in the truck! Let's go. Let's go. |
| 00:55:25 |
Can l have a cup? |
| 00:55:26 |
See, hon? I told you he was gay. |
| 00:55:28 |
We'll be right back with more cops |
| 00:55:30 |
I've from the heartland. |
| 00:55:35 |
A veces pienso que aqui |
| 00:55:37 |
Todo es seguridad |
| 00:55:42 |
Por la seca castidad |
| 00:55:46 |
Lo de antes fue algo |
| 00:55:51 |
Ahora es mejor |
| 00:55:54 |
Oh, yeah, ahora es mejor... |
| 00:55:57 |
- Your grandmother is really something. |
| 00:56:02 |
She rents the apartment next door. |
| 00:56:06 |
and I don't think she likes being alone. |
| 00:56:10 |
- Doesn't cramp your style? |
| 00:56:13 |
Sometimes I wish I could be like Magda |
| 00:56:18 |
I'd like to bounce around for a while |
| 00:56:23 |
I don't know why anybody |
| 00:56:26 |
you know, if they have |
| 00:56:30 |
I'd be there in a second. |
| 00:56:32 |
I'd sell it. |
| 00:56:33 |
- Yeah? |
| 00:56:34 |
Start fresh in a new place, |
| 00:56:38 |
Slow things down a bit, |
| 00:56:42 |
Are you a movie buff? |
| 00:56:44 |
I try to be, but it's tough going out there |
| 00:56:48 |
I just wish they made movies |
| 00:56:51 |
You know, classics |
| 00:56:54 |
or Harold and Maude. |
| 00:56:58 |
Harold and Maude |
| 00:57:01 |
Don't bust my chops. |
| 00:57:03 |
Pat, I'm not kidding. |
| 00:57:04 |
I think that Harold and Maude |
| 00:57:06 |
Iove stories of our time. |
| 00:57:12 |
Here I thought I was the only one. |
| 00:57:15 |
You're too good to be true. |
| 00:57:16 |
Come on, let's go dance. |
| 00:57:24 |
Man, they never |
| 00:57:29 |
That's probably how he got his victim |
| 00:57:33 |
Where'd they find the body? |
| 00:57:36 |
In a big red bag |
| 00:57:40 |
all hacked up. |
| 00:57:44 |
Gruesome. |
| 00:57:46 |
Real psycho, this one. |
| 00:57:49 |
Hey, you're a little worked up. |
| 00:57:56 |
I'm Detective Stabler. This is Krevoy. |
| 00:57:58 |
Look, I didn't solicit any sex, OK? |
| 00:58:02 |
I was really going out to pee. |
| 00:58:04 |
I trip over this guy and all of a sudden |
| 00:58:06 |
Ted, Ted, Ted, it's OK. |
| 00:58:10 |
We believe you. |
| 00:58:14 |
Oh. |
| 00:58:18 |
The problem is, |
| 00:58:20 |
we found your friend in the car. |
| 00:58:24 |
Oh, the hitchhiker? |
| 00:58:26 |
This is about the hitchhiker? |
| 00:58:28 |
Oh. |
| 00:58:30 |
Oh, great. |
| 00:58:32 |
Just my luck. |
| 00:58:34 |
I get caught for everything. |
| 00:58:36 |
So... |
| 00:58:38 |
You admit it? |
| 00:58:40 |
Uh, yeah. Guilty as charged. |
| 00:58:43 |
Look, I know you guys have a job to do |
| 00:58:48 |
I admit it. |
| 00:58:49 |
You know, the guy even told me, |
| 00:58:56 |
Well... |
| 00:58:58 |
uh... |
| 00:59:00 |
Can you tell us his name? |
| 00:59:02 |
Uh... |
| 00:59:05 |
No, I didn't catch it. |
| 00:59:07 |
Can we cut to the chase? |
| 00:59:12 |
First, tell us why you did it. |
| 00:59:14 |
Why I did it? Um... |
| 00:59:18 |
I don't know. Boredom. |
| 00:59:23 |
The guy turns out to be a blabbermouth, |
| 00:59:27 |
I mean, with the... just... |
| 00:59:28 |
Ted, |
| 00:59:29 |
this wasn't your first time, |
| 00:59:32 |
was it? |
| 00:59:34 |
No. |
| 00:59:36 |
How many are we talking here? |
| 00:59:38 |
Hitchhikers? |
| 00:59:40 |
My whole life? |
| 00:59:42 |
Um... |
| 00:59:43 |
I don't know. |
| 00:59:45 |
25, 50. I mean, who keeps track? |
| 00:59:49 |
Hey, I know this is the Bible belt, |
| 00:59:52 |
this is not that big a deal. |
| 00:59:54 |
You son of a bitch. |
| 00:59:57 |
You're gonna fry. |
| 00:59:59 |
Come here! |
| 01:00:04 |
Take it easy! You OK? |
| 01:00:05 |
What the hell is wrong with you? |
| 01:00:07 |
You all right? |
| 01:00:30 |
Your friend Tucker stopped by. |
| 01:00:34 |
Really? |
| 01:00:37 |
OK. What does it look like today? |
| 01:00:40 |
It's fine. A little crazy in the afternoon. |
| 01:00:44 |
Hey, Tucker. |
| 01:00:46 |
Eh, what's up, Doc? |
| 01:00:49 |
You look different. |
| 01:00:51 |
The teeth. The teeth. I got them capped. |
| 01:00:55 |
Oh, yeah? Hey, they look great. |
| 01:00:58 |
- You don't think they look a little big? |
| 01:01:02 |
But they could be a little brighter. |
| 01:01:04 |
There's nothing more sexy to me |
| 01:01:05 |
than a guy with a mouthful |
| 01:01:08 |
Oh, really? |
| 01:01:09 |
Come here. |
| 01:01:11 |
You ever had one |
| 01:01:13 |
Tucker, behave yourself. |
| 01:01:14 |
I'll say. |
| 01:01:18 |
What can I do for you today, my friend? |
| 01:01:20 |
I wanted to talk to you |
| 01:01:25 |
- He's a nice guy, huh? |
| 01:01:27 |
How long have you known him? |
| 01:01:30 |
Not very long, but I like him. |
| 01:01:32 |
I know he's a little different, |
| 01:01:34 |
but that's what I like about him. |
| 01:01:36 |
He dresses like a complete dork. |
| 01:01:39 |
He chews with his mouth open. |
| 01:01:41 |
He hardly ever says the right thing, |
| 01:01:44 |
and he probably farts, too. |
| 01:01:47 |
That's what you're looking for, is it? |
| 01:01:50 |
A farter? |
| 01:01:51 |
No, I'm looking for a guy. |
| 01:01:53 |
Look, something struck me as strange |
| 01:01:57 |
He... |
| 01:01:58 |
He gave me this funny vibe. |
| 01:02:00 |
Anyway, I called |
| 01:02:03 |
and they've never heard of an architect |
| 01:02:07 |
He's not listed as a Harvard alumnus. |
| 01:02:09 |
Fuck! |
| 01:02:13 |
- That's strange. |
| 01:02:15 |
Anyway, I hope you don't |
| 01:02:18 |
It's just that I think you should |
| 01:02:22 |
I mean, let's face it, you're beautiful, and |
| 01:02:27 |
and you've got money, |
| 01:02:29 |
I'm just saying |
| 01:02:32 |
Just be careful. |
| 01:02:34 |
Fucker! |
| 01:02:36 |
Look, Tucker, thank you. |
| 01:02:40 |
OK, listen, I'll call you, OK? |
| 01:02:44 |
OK. |
| 01:02:49 |
Oh, damn. |
| 01:02:56 |
- You want me to get those for you? |
| 01:03:06 |
Damn! |
| 01:03:10 |
My leg. |
| 01:03:11 |
Could you, Mary? |
| 01:03:13 |
Thank you. |
| 01:03:16 |
Wait. Wait. |
| 01:03:19 |
There. |
| 01:03:30 |
- See? |
| 01:03:31 |
I knew I could do it. |
| 01:03:32 |
Here, let me get the door. |
| 01:03:34 |
Thank you. |
| 01:03:36 |
- See you later. |
| 01:03:37 |
Jane, can you get the door for Tucker? |
| 01:03:40 |
Do you want me to... |
| 01:03:42 |
No. I've done this a thousand times. |
| 01:03:44 |
OK. |
| 01:03:52 |
Mr Stroehmann, on behalf of the South |
| 01:03:58 |
I would like to apologies to you |
| 01:04:04 |
that you may have been caused. |
| 01:04:06 |
Ohh. |
| 01:04:09 |
At approximately 10.40 this morning, |
| 01:04:13 |
a man was apprehended not far |
| 01:04:16 |
He was identified |
| 01:04:19 |
Subsequently, he confessed to the murder |
| 01:04:22 |
Lab tests confirm a fingerprint match. |
| 01:04:25 |
You mean I'm free to go? |
| 01:04:29 |
No harm, no foul. |
| 01:04:33 |
Oh, by the way, |
| 01:04:41 |
Shut up! |
| 01:04:49 |
Phew! |
| 01:04:50 |
You are a lucky son of a bitch, |
| 01:04:53 |
I am? |
| 01:04:55 |
Yeah. |
| 01:04:56 |
Didn't they tell you? |
| 01:04:57 |
That hitcher was about to cut your throat |
| 01:05:02 |
Got a fucking horseshoe |
| 01:05:08 |
You got that nervous hive thing again? |
| 01:05:12 |
Yeah. |
| 01:05:13 |
Yeah, I do, Ted, um, |
| 01:05:18 |
Are you OK? |
| 01:05:23 |
Ted, I'm dying. |
| 01:05:30 |
Oh, my... |
| 01:05:33 |
Ted, I'm not dying, man. Come on! |
| 01:05:37 |
Jesus, it's just the humidity down here. |
| 01:05:41 |
No, the bad news I got |
| 01:05:44 |
I sent my assistant down to his apartment |
| 01:05:46 |
The landlady said |
| 01:05:48 |
he kept talking about |
| 01:05:53 |
Mary? |
| 01:05:56 |
My Mary? |
| 01:05:57 |
Well... |
| 01:05:58 |
Ted, here's Healy's address down there. |
| 01:06:02 |
And in the future, do a little research before |
| 01:06:06 |
I mean, Jesus Christ, it's creepy, OK? |
| 01:06:10 |
You're not seriously thinking |
| 01:06:15 |
Mary, honey, he's a psycho. |
| 01:06:16 |
Mary, the guy's full of shit. |
| 01:06:18 |
Jesus, this sucks. |
| 01:06:21 |
It's too bad this had to happen. |
| 01:06:24 |
He was almost perfect. |
| 01:06:26 |
Mary, what did you say |
| 01:06:29 |
Healy. |
| 01:06:30 |
Come here, come here. |
| 01:06:33 |
What? |
| 01:06:34 |
That's just the way |
| 01:06:35 |
So, where the hell are you, Healy? |
| 01:06:37 |
Ah, l gota date tonight |
| 01:06:41 |
- The sawbones? |
| 01:06:43 |
- We hit the mother lode. |
| 01:06:47 |
Shh, shh, shh! |
| 01:06:48 |
Does she still think |
| 01:06:50 |
Oh, yeah. |
| 01:06:51 |
Dumb shit. |
| 01:06:53 |
Mr Perfect, huh? |
| 01:06:54 |
Hey, watch your mouth. |
| 01:06:56 |
She's a great gal, Mary. |
| 01:06:58 |
I'm the dumb shit for lying to her. |
| 01:07:00 |
Why didn't you just tell her the truth? |
| 01:07:04 |
I don't know. |
| 01:07:05 |
It seems that women today |
| 01:07:09 |
than some schmo who's spent 17 years |
| 01:07:15 |
If she's as special as you say, |
| 01:07:16 |
she's going to want to hear |
| 01:07:19 |
You could tell her about |
| 01:07:23 |
The orphan babies |
| 01:07:26 |
Romania. |
| 01:07:27 |
The hope |
| 01:07:30 |
you gave Freddy the leper in Calcutta. |
| 01:07:33 |
I'll be honest with you. |
| 01:07:36 |
I get a high from helping all God's creatures. |
| 01:07:41 |
An honest-to-goodness high. |
| 01:07:44 |
Hey, hey, hey. |
| 01:07:47 |
That's, uh... |
| 01:07:50 |
That's, uh... that's bullshit, man. |
| 01:07:53 |
Hey. Hey, you were on the front line. |
| 01:07:56 |
You remember? |
| 01:07:58 |
The, um, malaria, the typhoon fever, |
| 01:08:03 |
- Ooh. |
| 01:08:05 |
Fuck! |
| 01:08:09 |
Yeah. I cured all sorts of horrible |
| 01:08:13 |
But the bottom line is, I'm not |
| 01:08:17 |
as some kind of currency, |
| 01:08:20 |
I lied to that poor girl. |
| 01:08:25 |
Lied, man! |
| 01:08:27 |
Well,... |
| 01:08:29 |
Love will make you do fucked-up things. |
| 01:08:31 |
You said it, mister. |
| 01:08:33 |
I got to run. |
| 01:08:35 |
We're dicks. |
| 01:08:45 |
It's him! It's him! |
| 01:08:48 |
Mary. |
| 01:08:50 |
Hello. |
| 01:08:52 |
Um, Mary, look... |
| 01:08:56 |
Look, there's something |
| 01:08:58 |
I'm not the architect... |
| 01:09:09 |
OK, guys, let's huddle up. |
| 01:09:10 |
Come on, Jimmy! |
| 01:09:11 |
Jimmy, I'm open! Hit me! Come on! |
| 01:09:21 |
Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! |
| 01:09:23 |
Whoo! |
| 01:09:24 |
Exceptional, my ass. |
| 01:09:40 |
Looks like I double jumped you |
| 01:09:43 |
Pay up, big guy. |
| 01:09:47 |
- Coconut. |
| 01:09:50 |
Coconut. |
| 01:09:52 |
Where's the rest of it, Warren? |
| 01:10:06 |
Look at her. |
| 01:10:07 |
She's more beautiful than I remember. |
| 01:10:10 |
She's perfect. |
| 01:10:13 |
Thanks for picking up the lunch tab, Mar. |
| 01:10:15 |
Sorry I forgot my wallet. I feel like a dog. |
| 01:10:17 |
Don't worry about it. It was fun. |
| 01:10:26 |
- Euch! |
| 01:10:29 |
Whoa. |
| 01:10:30 |
How's my stomach taste? |
| 01:10:32 |
Oh. How's my stomach taste, she says. |
| 01:10:34 |
Holy shit, look. |
| 01:10:37 |
Franks and beans! |
| 01:10:40 |
- Frank and beans! |
| 01:10:42 |
Hey, leave him alone. He's just got |
| 01:10:46 |
Huh? |
| 01:10:47 |
I said you got a big... |
| 01:10:51 |
Warren, Warren, Warren, Warren! |
| 01:10:53 |
Oh, yes. Uh-huh. |
| 01:10:55 |
You can't touch his ears |
| 01:10:59 |
Not to worry. |
| 01:11:01 |
So I'll see you tonight, right? |
| 01:11:02 |
Sure. |
| 01:11:08 |
Here, Warren. |
| 01:11:09 |
- You OK? |
| 01:11:11 |
I saw. |
| 01:11:13 |
OK. What are you waiting for? Let's go. |
| 01:11:15 |
What? No. |
| 01:11:16 |
I don't know what to say. |
| 01:11:17 |
Just tell her the truth about Healy. |
| 01:11:19 |
Blow the schmuck |
| 01:11:22 |
No, I can't. |
| 01:11:23 |
I unleashed the psycho on her. |
| 01:11:27 |
Mary! |
| 01:11:34 |
Mary? |
| 01:11:37 |
Mary? ls that... |
| 01:11:40 |
It is you. |
| 01:11:41 |
Who is that? |
| 01:11:44 |
Hi. It's Ted. |
| 01:11:46 |
Ted? |
| 01:11:48 |
Yeah, Ted from Rhode lsland. Ted. |
| 01:11:50 |
Ted? Oh, my God. |
| 01:11:52 |
Ted! |
| 01:11:53 |
How are you? |
| 01:11:55 |
- It's good to see you. |
| 01:11:58 |
How you been? |
| 01:11:59 |
I'm... |
| 01:12:00 |
I haven't seen you since... since... |
| 01:12:03 |
Yeah. Since... since, um... |
| 01:12:05 |
Senior prom. |
| 01:12:06 |
That's right... senior prom. |
| 01:12:08 |
I... you got a great memory. |
| 01:12:10 |
Oh, man, that was... |
| 01:12:12 |
I haven't thought about that in years. |
| 01:12:14 |
So, um... |
| 01:12:16 |
How's everything? |
| 01:12:18 |
Everything, you know. |
| 01:12:19 |
Oh, oh, that's fine. |
| 01:12:22 |
You know, I was in and out of the hospital |
| 01:12:25 |
It was not a big deal at all. |
| 01:12:26 |
Now I'm good. |
| 01:12:27 |
Strong like bull. |
| 01:12:30 |
Really good. |
| 01:12:31 |
Hey, hi, Warren. |
| 01:12:32 |
Hi, Ted. |
| 01:12:33 |
- How are you? |
| 01:12:37 |
I can't believe that he remembers you. |
| 01:12:39 |
Piggyback ride? |
| 01:12:40 |
Oh, piggyback... no. |
| 01:12:44 |
He never remembers anybody. |
| 01:12:48 |
So, what are you doing here? |
| 01:12:50 |
Do you work here? |
| 01:12:52 |
This is my office. Well, it's up there. |
| 01:12:54 |
I was just out |
| 01:12:57 |
- It's crazy. What are you doing here? |
| 01:13:01 |
I was... I decided to... |
| 01:13:03 |
I got in the car with my friend, um |
| 01:13:06 |
and we just, uh... |
| 01:13:14 |
Right. |
| 01:13:16 |
Well, you look great. |
| 01:13:19 |
I mean, what's the story? |
| 01:13:20 |
Do you have kids? What's the deal? |
| 01:13:22 |
No. Dodged a few bullets. |
| 01:13:24 |
Yeah? |
| 01:13:26 |
God, this is just so... bizarre. |
| 01:13:28 |
I mean, I'm standing |
| 01:13:30 |
No, no. Now it's Mary Matthews. |
| 01:13:32 |
Oh. Did you... |
| 01:13:35 |
No, no. I haven't walked |
| 01:13:38 |
But, uh, it was this thing in college. |
| 01:13:41 |
This creepy guy who... |
| 01:13:43 |
Anyhow, there was a restraining order, |
| 01:13:45 |
got kind of ugly, |
| 01:13:48 |
be cautious. Change your name. |
| 01:13:50 |
Just kind of leave that behind. |
| 01:13:52 |
Right. That sounds... that sounds horrible. |
| 01:13:55 |
It was... yeah. |
| 01:13:56 |
It was, but it's over, I think, so it's good. |
| 01:14:00 |
Hey, what are you doing tonight? |
| 01:14:01 |
Do you think maybe you want to maybe, |
| 01:14:05 |
Catch up on old times. |
| 01:14:06 |
Didn't we just do that? |
| 01:14:12 |
I'm fucking with you, Ted. |
| 01:14:17 |
No. Listen, I'd like to, it'd be great, |
| 01:14:24 |
But I'm free tomorrow night. |
| 01:14:26 |
Yeah, sure. Or, you know |
| 01:14:27 |
or you could just blow off that jerk |
| 01:14:30 |
and come out with me. |
| 01:14:34 |
What hotel are you staying at? |
| 01:14:36 |
Uh, the Cardoza. |
| 01:14:41 |
- Pick you up at 8.00? |
| 01:14:43 |
- OK |
| 01:14:44 |
Cool. See you. |
| 01:14:45 |
Bye. |
| 01:14:48 |
Look closely at this picture |
| 01:14:50 |
Ted and Mary like before |
| 01:14:53 |
Can you see her as Ted sees her |
| 01:14:55 |
And why he couldn't wait no more? |
| 01:14:58 |
And if you still think he's being silly |
| 01:15:00 |
Then you've still got more to see |
| 01:15:03 |
'Cause this isn't just a date, folks |
| 01:15:05 |
This is chemistry |
| 01:15:07 |
And Mary |
| 01:15:10 |
Well, there's just somethin' about Mary |
| 01:15:24 |
Banana! |
| 01:15:29 |
Ooh! |
| 01:15:30 |
Why's that? |
| 01:15:31 |
'Cause back when I was your age, |
| 01:15:33 |
I always used to make myself |
| 01:15:39 |
I think you're gonna need one tonight. |
| 01:15:40 |
Oh. Don't get ahead of yourself, Magda. |
| 01:15:42 |
You'll probably be eating |
| 01:15:45 |
Don't bet on it. |
| 01:15:47 |
Last time I had a pap smear, |
| 01:15:49 |
the guy needed leather gloves |
| 01:15:55 |
I am a little psyched. |
| 01:15:58 |
I ran into this guy |
| 01:16:03 |
An old flame? |
| 01:16:05 |
Kind of. Ted Stroehmann. |
| 01:16:08 |
The sweetest guy in the world. |
| 01:16:11 |
He was so cute. He was so clumsy |
| 01:16:16 |
You know how I like braces. |
| 01:16:19 |
Anyhow, we're going out tonight. |
| 01:16:21 |
Oh, no! |
| 01:16:23 |
Oh, God, that reminds me. |
| 01:16:27 |
What's-his-face? |
| 01:16:32 |
Who is it? |
| 01:16:33 |
It's Tucker. |
| 01:16:36 |
Tucker. |
| 01:16:37 |
- Hello, how are you? |
| 01:16:39 |
I'm fine, thank you. |
| 01:16:40 |
Oh, look who's here. |
| 01:16:41 |
There she is. |
| 01:16:43 |
I brought you a little thirst quencher, Mag. |
| 01:16:46 |
Oh, aren't you sweet? |
| 01:16:47 |
No, I'm not. I |
| 01:16:50 |
just want to get you drunk |
| 01:16:53 |
and I can give Mary a good rogering. |
| 01:16:55 |
You want me to pour you one? |
| 01:16:57 |
Uh, thanks, but I have to be going. |
| 01:16:59 |
Unfortunately, this is not a social visit. |
| 01:17:01 |
Really? What's up? |
| 01:17:03 |
Well, I've got a little more news |
| 01:17:06 |
Tucker, everything's OK. |
| 01:17:09 |
He confessed everything. |
| 01:17:11 |
You were right, but right now |
| 01:17:15 |
Mary, the man's a killer. |
| 01:17:17 |
What? |
| 01:17:18 |
Yes. I have a friend |
| 01:17:21 |
He faxed me this morning. |
| 01:17:25 |
After a short stint as a petty thief, |
| 01:17:28 |
Patrick R Healy graduated |
| 01:17:33 |
At 16, he committed his first murder, |
| 01:17:38 |
a pretty teacher's aide |
| 01:17:41 |
He was incarcerated |
| 01:17:43 |
when despite a grim |
| 01:17:45 |
the state was forced to release him. |
| 01:17:47 |
In his mid-20s and again in his early 30s, |
| 01:17:50 |
he was suspected of homicides |
| 01:17:54 |
Unfortunately, the bodies |
| 01:17:58 |
there wasn't enough evidence to hold him. |
| 01:18:01 |
You guys, what am l gonna do? |
| 01:18:04 |
I'm supposed to meet this guy in an hour. |
| 01:18:06 |
Well, just calm down. |
| 01:18:11 |
Tucker. |
| 01:18:13 |
Why you two |
| 01:18:16 |
I'm so lucky to have you as a friend. |
| 01:18:19 |
Yes, well, don't get all gooey on me now. |
| 01:18:22 |
You're gonna give me a big head. |
| 01:18:27 |
is you have to distance |
| 01:18:29 |
without pissing this psycho off. |
| 01:18:33 |
OK. |
| 01:18:34 |
I know what I got to do, |
| 01:18:37 |
Where's the phone? |
| 01:18:52 |
You're gonna pay, fucker. |
| 01:19:12 |
I don't know, Dom. |
| 01:19:14 |
I don't feel good. I feel nervous. |
| 01:19:19 |
Oh, come on, relax. Relax. |
| 01:19:21 |
Been to the cash machine? |
| 01:19:22 |
Yeah. |
| 01:19:23 |
- Car clean? |
| 01:19:25 |
- Plenty of gas? |
| 01:19:26 |
Mmm. Breath. How's your breath? |
| 01:19:29 |
It's fine. I had some Altoids. |
| 01:19:31 |
All right, I think you're all set. |
| 01:19:32 |
So just go clean the pipes, and it's a go. |
| 01:19:35 |
Huh? |
| 01:19:36 |
You know, clean the pipes. |
| 01:19:40 |
What do you mean, clean the pipes? |
| 01:19:42 |
You choke the chicken |
| 01:19:47 |
Tell me you spank the monkey |
| 01:19:52 |
Oh, my God. He doesn't flog the dolphin |
| 01:19:57 |
That's like going out there |
| 01:19:59 |
Of course that's why you're nervous. |
| 01:20:02 |
Oh, my dear friend, please sit. Please. |
| 01:20:06 |
Uhh, look, um... |
| 01:20:08 |
After you've had sex with a girl, |
| 01:20:11 |
and you're lying in bed with her, |
| 01:20:13 |
are you nervous? |
| 01:20:14 |
No. |
| 01:20:15 |
No, you're not. Why? |
| 01:20:18 |
'Cause I'm tired. |
| 01:20:20 |
Wrong! |
| 01:20:21 |
It's 'cause you ain't got the baby batter |
| 01:20:24 |
Jesus, that stuff will fuck your head up. |
| 01:20:27 |
Oh. Look... |
| 01:20:30 |
The most honest moment in a man's life |
| 01:20:33 |
are the few minutes |
| 01:20:35 |
Now, that is a medical fact |
| 01:20:38 |
is that you're no longer |
| 01:20:41 |
You're actually thinking like a girl |
| 01:20:44 |
and girls love that. |
| 01:20:45 |
Holy shit. |
| 01:20:48 |
I've been going out with a loaded gun. |
| 01:20:51 |
People get hurt that way. |
| 01:21:22 |
Ohh! Whoa whoa whoa whoa! |
| 01:21:24 |
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! |
| 01:21:27 |
Healy, how... how smashing to see you. |
| 01:21:30 |
You're dead! You fuckup! |
| 01:21:31 |
OK, take it easy. |
| 01:21:32 |
Who the fuck do you think you are |
| 01:21:36 |
It's that stalker - Ted. |
| 01:21:38 |
He got a hold of you, didn't he? |
| 01:21:40 |
You're working for him, |
| 01:21:44 |
Who? |
| 01:21:52 |
Either you come clean, |
| 01:21:55 |
I love her, man! |
| 01:21:58 |
What? |
| 01:21:59 |
You heard me, God damn it. |
| 01:22:04 |
I love Mary, man. |
| 01:22:09 |
I'm a phony, just like you. |
| 01:22:13 |
What do you mean? |
| 01:22:15 |
I mean, I'm a fucking fraud. |
| 01:22:18 |
I'm no architect. Don't be a putz, man. |
| 01:22:22 |
Who's been to Santiago, Chile, |
| 01:22:27 |
I've never even been in Jersey! |
| 01:22:29 |
OK, OK. Just take it easy. |
| 01:22:32 |
Wait a minute. |
| 01:22:35 |
I knew shit, man. |
| 01:22:38 |
The only thing I knew |
| 01:22:41 |
and I made up everything else. |
| 01:22:43 |
My real name's Norm. |
| 01:22:45 |
I'm a pizza delivery boy. |
| 01:22:48 |
Here. |
| 01:22:50 |
Look. Here's my ID. |
| 01:23:00 |
Fuck me. |
| 01:23:22 |
Keep the change. |
| 01:23:57 |
Yeah! |
| 01:24:06 |
Oh. |
| 01:24:20 |
Where the |
| 01:24:22 |
hell did it go? |
| 01:24:26 |
Uh, hang on. |
| 01:24:27 |
Wait a second. |
| 01:24:46 |
- Hello. How you doing? |
| 01:24:49 |
- Good. |
| 01:24:51 |
You are looking very beautiful. |
| 01:24:53 |
Thank you. |
| 01:24:57 |
What is that? |
| 01:25:01 |
On your ear. |
| 01:25:02 |
Ear? |
| 01:25:04 |
No, your left ear. |
| 01:25:06 |
Is that... |
| 01:25:10 |
Is that hair gel? |
| 01:25:13 |
Yeah. |
| 01:25:14 |
Great. I could use some. |
| 01:25:16 |
No. You don't have to. You don't... |
| 01:25:18 |
I just ran out. |
| 01:25:24 |
How we doing over here? |
| 01:25:26 |
OK. |
| 01:25:27 |
Little more wine? |
| 01:25:28 |
Sure. |
| 01:25:30 |
So... so when you say, um |
| 01:25:32 |
killer, you mean... |
| 01:25:33 |
He's a murderer. Yeah. |
| 01:25:35 |
Like an actual convicted murderer? |
| 01:25:37 |
He killed people. I know. It's crazy. |
| 01:25:39 |
And, uh, what? |
| 01:25:41 |
Yeah. In Boston. |
| 01:25:42 |
He spent I don't know how long, but... |
| 01:25:44 |
And he just got out? |
| 01:25:46 |
Well, it's obviously... the system sucks. |
| 01:25:47 |
The guy's walking the streets. |
| 01:25:49 |
I'm kissing him. |
| 01:25:50 |
Right. But you didn't do anything |
| 01:25:52 |
else, right? |
| 01:25:53 |
What? |
| 01:25:54 |
I mean, you didn't... |
| 01:25:58 |
No. No, no, no. |
| 01:26:02 |
I mean, I only went out |
| 01:26:04 |
but, you know, it's like, |
| 01:26:10 |
I shouldn't be putting this all on you. |
| 01:26:12 |
I'm sorry. We haven't |
| 01:26:15 |
No. It's... it's just I feel really bad. |
| 01:26:18 |
I'm tired of talking about stalkers. |
| 01:26:20 |
Let's talk about you. |
| 01:26:23 |
Are you OK? Yeah? |
| 01:26:25 |
- Do you want some water? |
| 01:26:28 |
Hey, Tracy, how are the twins? |
| 01:26:30 |
Fuck you, Norm. |
| 01:26:31 |
I like it when you |
| 01:26:36 |
Here you go, big guy. |
| 01:26:37 |
Come on. Cough it up, chompers. |
| 01:26:47 |
How the hell did you meet Mary? |
| 01:26:50 |
It was just dumb luck, really. |
| 01:26:52 |
I delivered a pie to her one night, |
| 01:26:54 |
and she answered the door |
| 01:26:59 |
That was it for me. |
| 01:27:00 |
I went home that night, |
| 01:27:02 |
and a week later I'm laid out in her office |
| 01:27:06 |
Broken back? |
| 01:27:07 |
How'd you do that? |
| 01:27:08 |
A friend. Baseball bat. |
| 01:27:11 |
Ah. Touché. |
| 01:27:16 |
Do you want another one? |
| 01:27:18 |
Uh, sure. Yeah. |
| 01:27:20 |
Hey, Docky. |
| 01:27:23 |
Couple more nitrate-sicles, please. |
| 01:27:25 |
Two corn dogs coming up. |
| 01:27:26 |
I don't think that they |
| 01:27:30 |
No, seriously. If you think about it, |
| 01:27:31 |
they have plenty of sweets, right? |
| 01:27:33 |
They have lollipops, |
| 01:27:35 |
They have popsicles, |
| 01:27:36 |
but they don't have |
| 01:27:39 |
Yes, you don't see |
| 01:27:41 |
No, absolutely not. |
| 01:27:42 |
You know what I'd like to see? |
| 01:27:43 |
I'd like to see more meats in a cone. |
| 01:27:46 |
You don't hardly ever see that. |
| 01:27:48 |
That's an idea I think is waiting to pop. |
| 01:27:52 |
Just like a nice, big, |
| 01:27:56 |
chopped liver. |
| 01:27:58 |
Exactly. |
| 01:27:59 |
It's too bad you don't live here, Ted. |
| 01:28:01 |
- Yeah? |
| 01:28:02 |
We have a lot in common. |
| 01:28:05 |
Well, you know, maybe, um... |
| 01:28:08 |
Have you ever thought about, uh |
| 01:28:10 |
maybe moving back up to Rhode lsland? |
| 01:28:13 |
I thought about it, but I got too much |
| 01:28:17 |
I got a great practice, |
| 01:28:22 |
Maybe you should just, like, |
| 01:28:30 |
So you're a writer. |
| 01:28:32 |
Yeah, well, I'm trying to be. |
| 01:28:34 |
Well, the good thing about writing |
| 01:28:38 |
is you can do it anywhere. |
| 01:28:39 |
That's true. |
| 01:28:43 |
How about you? |
| 01:28:44 |
How did you manage |
| 01:28:48 |
Well, I'm bisexual, so that's hard |
| 01:28:55 |
Well... |
| 01:28:56 |
You gonna smoke that? |
| 01:29:01 |
You know, I read somewhere |
| 01:29:05 |
if you really ask them honestly, |
| 01:29:06 |
have tendencies towards... |
| 01:29:08 |
- I mean, everybody has a bit of... |
| 01:29:13 |
Yeah. |
| 01:29:16 |
Stalking motherfucker. |
| 01:29:19 |
I know. It sickens me. |
| 01:29:23 |
Actually, I did almost get married once. |
| 01:29:29 |
What happened? |
| 01:29:31 |
Well, he was a really great guy. |
| 01:29:35 |
He lived up north, and, uh... |
| 01:29:37 |
Come on, let's go. |
| 01:29:44 |
Here you go. |
| 01:30:02 |
Wait. How many is this? |
| 01:30:06 |
- Four. |
| 01:30:08 |
That seems like an awful of lot of speed |
| 01:30:11 |
Are you sure it won't kill him? |
| 01:30:14 |
I never said that. |
| 01:30:19 |
There's a baby. |
| 01:30:26 |
Ah, good, good, good, good. |
| 01:30:28 |
So... |
| 01:30:30 |
Then it was over. |
| 01:30:33 |
Hmm. Wow. Sounds like |
| 01:30:37 |
Hmm. |
| 01:30:39 |
Almost. |
| 01:30:42 |
Hey, you want to go upstairs |
| 01:30:46 |
Uh... |
| 01:30:48 |
You know, I think I'm just |
| 01:30:51 |
You're not that far ahead, Ted. |
| 01:31:00 |
Magda! |
| 01:31:04 |
What are you doing? |
| 01:31:05 |
Hi, hon. Just straightening up. |
| 01:31:12 |
Put that down! |
| 01:31:13 |
Whoa. |
| 01:31:16 |
Magda! |
| 01:31:18 |
Thanks, doll. |
| 01:31:22 |
Magda. Magda. |
| 01:31:24 |
Honey, where is Puffy? |
| 01:31:27 |
Oh. He was being a pest, |
| 01:31:30 |
- Really? |
| 01:31:33 |
Ted. |
| 01:31:35 |
Can you do me a favor? |
| 01:31:37 |
Would you mind |
| 01:31:38 |
'Cause I think I should |
| 01:31:41 |
Sure, yeah. |
| 01:31:57 |
Uh, Mary? |
| 01:31:58 |
Huh? |
| 01:32:00 |
What kind of dog is Puffy? |
| 01:32:02 |
- Border terrier. |
| 01:32:06 |
Oh. |
| 01:32:16 |
Hey. |
| 01:32:18 |
Hey. |
| 01:32:20 |
Are you the little guy |
| 01:32:22 |
Huh? Hmm? |
| 01:32:29 |
Oh, Ted! |
| 01:32:41 |
Puffy, stop it! |
| 01:32:45 |
Take a little bit of this! |
| 01:32:49 |
Puffy! Puffy! |
| 01:32:57 |
Puffy! |
| 01:33:09 |
Oh, Ted! |
| 01:33:15 |
Puffy. |
| 01:33:21 |
- Puffy! |
| 01:33:23 |
Puffy, Puffy! Puffy! |
| 01:33:25 |
Puffy! Puffy! |
| 01:33:27 |
Puffy! Puffy! |
| 01:33:38 |
You want a grape? |
| 01:33:40 |
A grape? Sure. |
| 01:33:43 |
- Ready? |
| 01:33:44 |
All net. All net. |
| 01:33:47 |
We make a good team. |
| 01:34:20 |
Closer? |
| 01:34:21 |
It's all right. Get in closer. |
| 01:34:23 |
That's good. That's good. |
| 01:34:24 |
Don't be afraid. Get right in there. |
| 01:34:25 |
A little bit more. A little bit more. |
| 01:34:27 |
He'll be fine. Mary, you're overprotective. |
| 01:35:03 |
No, no, no. We already got it. |
| 01:35:15 |
Come on, come on. |
| 01:35:16 |
Pow! Pow! Pow! |
| 01:35:17 |
Pow! |
| 01:35:20 |
Warren. Warren! |
| 01:35:23 |
Warren! |
| 01:35:24 |
Warren! |
| 01:35:27 |
Warren! |
| 01:35:33 |
Warren! Come here! Stop! |
| 01:35:38 |
I'm OK! I'm OK! |
| 01:35:41 |
Hey! Hey! |
| 01:35:43 |
It's his fault. |
| 01:35:46 |
Whoo! Warren! Warren! |
| 01:35:48 |
Stop! |
| 01:36:13 |
Oh, God. |
| 01:36:14 |
I didn't do it. |
| 01:36:16 |
He got in the way. |
| 01:36:17 |
I know, I know, I know. |
| 01:36:20 |
Anybody have any pliers? |
| 01:36:23 |
Anything? |
| 01:36:33 |
Hey. |
| 01:36:35 |
Flowers are for you. |
| 01:36:38 |
Had a friend Fed-Ex it from Boston. |
| 01:36:41 |
Signed by Tony... Conigliaro. |
| 01:36:44 |
Did you hire Pat Healy to spy on me? |
| 01:36:50 |
What? |
| 01:36:52 |
What are you talking about? |
| 01:36:55 |
I got an anonymous letter. |
| 01:36:59 |
It's not true, right, Ted? |
| 01:37:04 |
Well, it's... it's... |
| 01:37:06 |
It's an interesting thing that happened. |
| 01:37:09 |
I, um... |
| 01:37:12 |
Yeah, it's true, but it's... it's not... |
| 01:37:14 |
OK. Get out. |
| 01:37:17 |
Mary, wait. First of all, |
| 01:37:18 |
I didn't know that this guy was |
| 01:37:20 |
What? That he was a murderer? |
| 01:37:22 |
Uh, that, yeah, |
| 01:37:25 |
I didn't know anything about the guy. |
| 01:37:26 |
I hardly know him. |
| 01:37:27 |
How could you do that, Ted? |
| 01:37:29 |
How could you have some guy |
| 01:37:34 |
What were you trying to do? |
| 01:37:38 |
Trick me into feeling something for you? |
| 01:37:44 |
No. I didn't... |
| 01:37:46 |
I didn't want to trick you. |
| 01:37:50 |
Just leave. |
| 01:37:52 |
OK? |
| 01:37:54 |
Mary... |
| 01:37:56 |
Go. |
| 01:38:08 |
I did it because I never |
| 01:38:12 |
And if I didn't find you, |
| 01:38:15 |
would never, ever be good again. |
| 01:39:01 |
Hey. |
| 01:39:03 |
Healy! You in there? |
| 01:39:11 |
Hello? |
| 01:39:21 |
Eww. |
| 01:39:27 |
And it was going along just fine |
| 01:39:35 |
Holy shit! |
| 01:39:38 |
This is a pretty nice place. |
| 01:39:41 |
Sully, what the fuck happened? |
| 01:39:44 |
Hey, surprise! |
| 01:39:45 |
Whoa, whoa! Hey, peace, man. |
| 01:39:48 |
You fucked me, man! |
| 01:39:49 |
Wait! Hey, come on! |
| 01:39:50 |
Look... Iook, man... |
| 01:39:51 |
Look, don't do anything |
| 01:39:52 |
Who the fuck is this guy?! |
| 01:39:55 |
Uh, that's Norm. He's a pizza boy. |
| 01:39:57 |
He's in love with Mary, too. |
| 01:40:00 |
Look, come on, man. |
| 01:40:02 |
All right... Iook, I think everybody |
| 01:40:06 |
I don't want a drink! |
| 01:40:07 |
Fuck you! |
| 01:40:08 |
Whoa, hey, hey, look... |
| 01:40:11 |
You asked me to follow |
| 01:40:14 |
And then the truth is, |
| 01:40:19 |
And that's when I realized I couldn't |
| 01:40:26 |
Do what? |
| 01:40:27 |
Turn her over to a violent... stalker. |
| 01:40:30 |
Oh, I'm a stalker. |
| 01:40:32 |
You're calling me a violent stalker? |
| 01:40:34 |
Oh, yeah. Sure. |
| 01:40:35 |
You're a sick fuck. |
| 01:40:38 |
Hey, fuck you. |
| 01:40:39 |
Fuck you! |
| 01:40:40 |
You just can't take the fact |
| 01:40:42 |
Your turn? |
| 01:40:43 |
Yeah, that's right. My turn. |
| 01:40:45 |
Why can't I ever get a girl like Mary? |
| 01:40:50 |
Yeah, well, just 'cause |
| 01:40:52 |
you didn't have to blow us both |
| 01:40:54 |
What are you talkin' about? |
| 01:40:56 |
You're gonna tell me |
| 01:40:59 |
telling her about our whole deal together? |
| 01:41:01 |
What letter? |
| 01:41:04 |
Come on. |
| 01:41:07 |
It was you. |
| 01:41:13 |
You sent the letter. |
| 01:41:15 |
It was you! |
| 01:41:17 |
We had a deal. |
| 01:41:19 |
and I wouldn't fuck you until |
| 01:41:22 |
we got this fuck outta |
| 01:41:24 |
You crossed the line, man! |
| 01:41:26 |
Whoa, whoa, whoa, man! |
| 01:41:27 |
You're gettin' crazy, now. |
| 01:41:29 |
Why would I cross the line? |
| 01:41:31 |
Y-you probably did it yourself, |
| 01:41:34 |
Oh, yeah, that makes a lot of sense. |
| 01:41:37 |
Why would I rat myself out? |
| 01:41:38 |
Like I'm gonna try |
| 01:41:41 |
whose idea of courtin' |
| 01:41:44 |
- You were followin' us. |
| 01:41:47 |
I-l-l was following her! |
| 01:41:51 |
I always do. |
| 01:41:53 |
How the hell do you think |
| 01:41:57 |
Br... wait. Brett? |
| 01:41:58 |
Are you sayin' that Brett |
| 01:42:04 |
Are you shittin' me? |
| 01:42:06 |
Mr Goody Two-Shoes? |
| 01:42:08 |
He was like an eagle scout! |
| 01:42:11 |
Wait a minute! |
| 01:42:13 |
You two should be kissin' |
| 01:42:15 |
'cause if it wasn't for me, |
| 01:42:21 |
I feel sick. |
| 01:42:23 |
Both of you are just... |
| 01:42:27 |
I'm outta here. |
| 01:42:48 |
Woogie? |
| 01:42:51 |
Who the hell is Woogie? |
| 01:42:56 |
Hello. |
| 01:42:59 |
What are... what are you doing here? |
| 01:43:01 |
Did you get my letter, Mar? |
| 01:43:04 |
The one about Ted? |
| 01:43:07 |
Y-you sent that? |
| 01:43:08 |
Mm-hmm. |
| 01:43:11 |
I was worried about you. |
| 01:43:15 |
Woogie, you know you're not supposed |
| 01:43:19 |
Oh, I know. I do, in fact. |
| 01:43:21 |
That's... that's what I really |
| 01:43:24 |
You know that I have |
| 01:43:28 |
nine years of intensive psychotherapy |
| 01:43:33 |
You were absolutely right. |
| 01:43:34 |
I needed help. |
| 01:43:35 |
That's great, Woogie. |
| 01:43:41 |
You... you look... |
| 01:43:43 |
You look good. |
| 01:43:45 |
Thank you. |
| 01:43:46 |
Except for the rash thing's |
| 01:43:49 |
Yes. You noticed, huh? |
| 01:43:51 |
These are called love blisters. |
| 01:43:54 |
They went away for a little while, |
| 01:43:56 |
but then you came back |
| 01:44:00 |
Woogie... I did not come |
| 01:44:06 |
I don't even know |
| 01:44:08 |
Let's not forget here, |
| 01:44:12 |
I had to change my name. |
| 01:44:15 |
I moved! |
| 01:44:16 |
I mean, you stole all of my shoes! |
| 01:44:18 |
What?! |
| 01:44:19 |
What are you talking about?! |
| 01:44:22 |
Woogie, I caught you red-handed! |
| 01:44:24 |
I was in a weird place, then, Mary. |
| 01:44:29 |
Come on. |
| 01:44:31 |
OK? Come on. Gimme... |
| 01:44:35 |
I was a little... a little nuts, a little... |
| 01:44:37 |
But I'm fine. |
| 01:44:39 |
Woogie, |
| 01:44:41 |
you're starting to make |
| 01:44:44 |
Ooh! I'm making you feel nervous. |
| 01:44:46 |
Nervous... what's that? |
| 01:44:48 |
I don't know anything |
| 01:44:52 |
You ever had a white head |
| 01:44:55 |
Woogie, I'm asking you to leave. |
| 01:44:58 |
No, Mary... |
| 01:44:59 |
No, Mary, you got this all wrong. |
| 01:45:01 |
I'm not going anywhere. Mm-mmm. |
| 01:45:05 |
Not until I get something |
| 01:45:18 |
Stop it! Stop! |
| 01:45:20 |
Just one pair! You owe me that, |
| 01:45:23 |
Huh? Whoa! What the... hey! |
| 01:45:32 |
Dom? |
| 01:45:33 |
You're pathetic. |
| 01:45:36 |
Tucker... what happened to your crutches? |
| 01:45:41 |
Uh, well, uh, yeah... |
| 01:45:43 |
That's a very good query, Mary. |
| 01:45:45 |
Come on! Tell her the truth, pizza boy. |
| 01:45:51 |
Name's Norm. |
| 01:45:54 |
I live with my folks up in Pompano. Hey. |
| 01:45:59 |
Oh, man! This is like |
| 01:46:03 |
Dom! What are you doin' here? |
| 01:46:05 |
You stole her from me |
| 01:46:09 |
I stole her from you? What are you... |
| 01:46:12 |
Mm-hmm. |
| 01:46:14 |
Woogie! How many times |
| 01:46:16 |
Woogie? |
| 01:46:17 |
Ted and I had one date. |
| 01:46:20 |
You and I were already broken up! |
| 01:46:21 |
You're Woogie? |
| 01:46:22 |
Dom Wooganowski. |
| 01:46:27 |
But... you're married. |
| 01:46:28 |
You have a wife, beautiful kids. |
| 01:46:31 |
Ted, if you love 'em so much, |
| 01:46:35 |
All right, what the hell |
| 01:46:37 |
Can someone explain it to me? |
| 01:46:40 |
Um, look, we're... |
| 01:46:44 |
Oh, God. |
| 01:46:46 |
If I may, I have a proposal. |
| 01:46:50 |
I say none of us leaves this room |
| 01:46:54 |
till our young Mary here |
| 01:46:58 |
and decides, once and for all, |
| 01:47:00 |
who she really wants. |
| 01:47:04 |
Now, Mary, I know this is tough |
| 01:47:07 |
but you really will |
| 01:47:10 |
to tell them the truth about us. |
| 01:47:12 |
Are you crazy? |
| 01:47:13 |
What makes you think |
| 01:47:15 |
You're a murderer! |
| 01:47:19 |
Uh... |
| 01:47:21 |
Well, l, uh, I may have been blowin' |
| 01:47:27 |
Whoa! Whoa-ho! |
| 01:47:30 |
Whoa-ho-ho! |
| 01:47:31 |
Touchdown! |
| 01:47:33 |
Hi, Mary. |
| 01:47:34 |
Brett? |
| 01:47:35 |
What the hell is Brett Favre doing here? |
| 01:47:38 |
I'm in town to play |
| 01:47:40 |
Yeah, I called him, Mary. |
| 01:47:43 |
I told him to pick up Warren |
| 01:47:45 |
See, your friend Tucker was lying |
| 01:47:49 |
Brett never said those |
| 01:47:51 |
He loves Warren. |
| 01:47:53 |
And from what he told me |
| 01:47:55 |
he loves you, too. |
| 01:47:58 |
He's the guy you should be with. |
| 01:47:59 |
God. |
| 01:48:03 |
That's right, Mary. |
| 01:48:05 |
You know I'll always be true to you. |
| 01:48:08 |
Oh, shit! This isn't fair. Jesus! |
| 01:48:12 |
You know, I feel like an idiot. |
| 01:48:14 |
See, I realized somethin' today. |
| 01:48:17 |
I'm no better than any of these guys. |
| 01:48:19 |
I mean, none of them love you, really. |
| 01:48:23 |
They're just... they're just |
| 01:48:25 |
fixated on you, because of how |
| 01:48:27 |
you make them feel about themselves. |
| 01:48:28 |
I mean, that's not real love. |
| 01:48:30 |
That's... |
| 01:48:33 |
I don't know what that is. |
| 01:48:36 |
Please! Mary, don't listen to him! |
| 01:48:39 |
This is just another one |
| 01:48:42 |
You know, Stroehmann, |
| 01:48:44 |
Yeah, you're the biggest |
| 01:48:47 |
You're gonna stand here and tell me |
| 01:48:48 |
that you're not nuts |
| 01:48:51 |
Yeah, that's what I'm tellin' you. |
| 01:48:53 |
Oh! |
| 01:48:57 |
Hey, good luck, Brett. |
| 01:48:59 |
Yeah. Thank you. |
| 01:49:00 |
She's a great gal. Take care of her. |
| 01:49:04 |
I'll, uh, see you, Mary. |
| 01:49:07 |
Bye, Ted. |
| 01:49:11 |
Hey, Warren, see ya later. |
| 01:49:13 |
OK. Goodbye, Ted. |
| 01:49:17 |
Goodbye. |
| 01:49:21 |
God, Mary, I've missed you. |
| 01:49:23 |
Hey, uh, Brett. |
| 01:49:24 |
What are the chances I could get you |
| 01:49:25 |
to give me a little autograph |
| 01:49:28 |
Somethin' nice |
| 01:49:29 |
What?! |
| 01:49:30 |
Ah, shut up. Cock tease. |
| 01:49:58 |
Well, she's back |
| 01:50:03 |
He don't challenge her |
| 01:50:05 |
He don't contend with her |
| 01:50:07 |
And she don't answer |
| 01:50:12 |
And you're jealous of the time |
| 01:50:14 |
That he spend with her |
| 01:50:16 |
Just let her go into the darkness |
| 01:50:21 |
Let her live for all the things there |
| 01:50:25 |
Let her go into the darkness |
| 01:50:29 |
Let her go, let her go, let her go |
| 01:50:58 |
Ted! |
| 01:51:01 |
Mary? |
| 01:51:05 |
Ted! |
| 01:51:07 |
Mary! |
| 01:51:11 |
Ted! |
| 01:51:16 |
You forgot your keys. |
| 01:51:32 |
Did you really mean |
| 01:51:35 |
Uh-huh. |
| 01:51:38 |
I just want you to be happy, Mary. |
| 01:51:44 |
But I'd be happiest with you. |
| 01:51:51 |
You're fuckin' with me, right? |
| 01:51:55 |
What... |
| 01:51:57 |
What about... |
| 01:51:59 |
Brett Fav... re? |
| 01:52:03 |
What did I tell you |
| 01:52:06 |
I'm a niners fan. |
| 01:52:21 |
His friends would say stop whinin' |
| 01:52:24 |
They've had enough of that |
| 01:52:27 |
His friends would say stop pinin' |
| 01:52:29 |
There's other girls to look at |
| 01:52:32 |
They've tried to set him up |
| 01:52:36 |
With Tiffany and lndigo |
| 01:52:38 |
But there's somethin' about Mary |
| 01:52:41 |
That they don't know... |
| 01:52:43 |
What are you doing? |
| 01:52:45 |
That's my girl he's kissin'. |
| 01:52:47 |
But you just slept with me! |
| 01:52:48 |
I was only bonin' you to get to Mary. |
| 01:53:03 |
And a one... 2, 3, 4 |
| 01:53:04 |
5, 6, 7, 8! |
