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00:01:10	Trixie.
00:01:23	Gabe, could she use
00:01:27	l really gotta pee.
00:01:30	Yeah, sure.
00:01:32	She's company, Gabe.
00:01:34	l'll be fast.
00:01:41	You didn't have to stay out
00:01:42	l fell asleep in the hall.
00:01:45	l thought Judy was coming back
00:01:48	That's right.
00:01:52	No problem.
00:01:56	Penny, Penny, Twitty,
00:01:59	Vivian Faffenburger's office,
00:02:01	-Hey, babe.
00:02:03	-Are you busy?
00:02:05	-Good, can you talk?
00:02:08	So, that cute guy
00:02:11	took me to dinner.
00:02:13	Oh, that's great.
00:02:15	Dress rehearsal totally sucked,
00:02:18	No. He took me to dinner because
00:02:21	for one of his auditions for
00:02:24	lt wasn't a date.
00:02:25	Men are such scum.
00:02:27	Sure, just a sec.
00:02:29	Oh, great.
00:02:30	Chapter fourteen, right?
00:02:33	OK. Who is he, the Son of man?
00:02:36	ls he as beautiful as you are?
00:02:39	Get thee behind me.
00:02:41	l hear in the palace
00:02:43	of the angel of death.
00:02:44	-Jokanen.
00:02:47	l am amorous
00:02:49	lt is like a pomegranate cut
00:02:52	There is nothing in the world
00:02:54	Suffer me to kiss your mouth.
00:02:58	Don't tell me.
00:03:01	You better tell me.
00:03:03	Never, daughter of Babylon...
00:03:04	daughter of Sodom, never!
00:03:07	This needs to go out
00:03:09	-Never!
00:03:10	Call me later.
00:03:14	Can you sign my timecard?
00:03:32	Hard day at the office?
00:03:34	Did you find a rhyme
00:03:36	l'm working on it.
00:03:37	Uh, what's with the umbrella?
00:03:39	What am l supposed to sing?
00:03:42	Should l hum or what?
00:03:43	Yeah, yeah, hum.
00:03:45	Or maybe la la la.
00:03:46	-Fine.
00:03:48	Are we in studio ''D,''
00:03:50	what the acoustics
00:04:01	OK, this is the song for
00:04:05	Uh, it will be sung
00:04:16	Once again, my friend
00:04:18	will be singing the part
00:04:21	Oh, and she brought her picture
00:04:25	in case anyone's interested.
00:04:27	l will be reading
00:04:30	and stage directions.
00:04:32	OK. OK, Rodrigo's just finished
00:04:36	applause, applause, applause.
00:04:38	That's some story.
00:04:41	lt would take a miracle
00:04:44	But miracles can happen.
00:04:46	l've never seen one.
00:04:47	Never?
00:04:48	Well, not for a very long time.
00:04:50	Buck up, Rodrigo.
00:04:51	l think you're just about due
00:04:56	They kiss.
00:05:10	l've heard
00:05:14	And we are only players
00:05:17	Acting out
00:05:22	But it is lonely as can be
00:05:26	With nobody opposite me
00:05:32	Then
00:05:36	Enter you
00:05:38	Voila, it's showtime
00:05:40	You brought the house down
00:05:44	Diddy
00:05:45	Enter you
00:05:48	ln less than no time
00:05:50	La la la la la
00:05:55	Up went the curtain
00:05:57	My lines felt wrong
00:05:59	lntermission seemed so far away
00:06:04	The plot uncertain
00:06:06	The scenes too long
00:06:09	Life was like
00:06:13	But
00:06:14	Now you're here
00:06:16	We meet stage center
00:06:18	l thought my story line
00:06:21	Then, enter you
00:07:20	Now you're here
00:07:23	We meet stage center
00:07:26	l thought my story line
00:07:29	Then
00:07:31	From the blue
00:07:35	Enter
00:07:39	You
00:07:57	You were great.
00:08:05	l really liked it.
00:08:06	Thanks.
00:08:08	But, do you think this is how
00:08:14	Well, this isn't reality.
00:08:16	l mean, we're talking about
00:08:18	l mean, you don't have people
00:08:21	bursting into song
00:08:23	Except maybe
00:08:25	Ha ha, just kidding.
00:08:26	Anyway, Gabriel,
00:08:28	but it's still important
00:08:32	l mean, ''Enter you''?
00:08:35	l mean, she's just been kissed.
00:08:37	Have you captured
00:08:38	after a really great kiss--
00:08:41	lt's exciting,
00:08:43	and it's sexy and...
00:08:45	and maybe you think
00:08:48	You know what l mean?
00:08:49	Well, you know,
00:08:53	l mean, if we were talking about
00:08:56	l can't have them falling
00:08:58	That wouldn't be believable.
00:09:01	Well, not if you don't
00:09:05	l mean, why is she singing this?
00:09:07	Would you sing it?
00:09:14	l hope l didn't
00:09:17	No more than l embarrassed
00:09:19	He gets funny when his songs
00:09:22	Oh, don't do that.
00:09:24	He's got a copy at home.
00:09:25	Listen, the best advice
00:09:28	l was writing a libretto...
00:09:29	for a musical version
00:09:31	l was having a little trouble...
00:09:32	getting into ancient Rome
00:09:36	This was in college.
00:09:37	So, this professor tells me that
00:09:40	and eat pomegranate seeds
00:09:43	-Silk underpants?
00:09:45	Gabriel, you gotta grab life
00:09:48	You gotta try
00:09:50	lt's the only way
00:09:55	They're just jealous.
00:09:58	l know what a flop feels like,
00:10:02	You're too sensitive.
00:10:05	l put a ticket for my show
00:10:07	lt's a comp, so don't let them
00:10:10	Can you put these
00:10:13	-So, what do you want to do now?
00:10:15	-What's that?
00:10:18	Some gay bar that charges
00:10:20	l will see you at your show,
00:10:23	Where are you going?
00:10:25	l thought we could grab
00:11:11	What?
00:11:12	l said hey.
00:11:25	What do you do?
00:11:28	What do l do?
00:11:34	Writer.
00:11:37	What do you write?
00:11:39	Musicals.
00:11:44	l feel really lame
00:11:46	because it makes me
00:11:48	which l don't think l am...
00:11:51	but it wouldn't matter
00:11:55	Except, l'm not.
00:11:59	You got a boyfriend?
00:12:04	Would l be here
00:12:07	l've got one.
00:12:10	Really?
00:12:12	And where is he?
00:12:13	He's at home.
00:12:16	You want to come over?
00:12:17	We don't live far from here.
00:12:25	l think l see a friend.
00:13:11	You should be dancing up there!
00:13:16	lt's kind of loud!
00:13:17	You could!
00:13:19	You want to?
00:13:22	No, thanks.
00:13:26	Diet Coke with lime.
00:13:30	Do you do that?
00:13:31	What?
00:13:32	Are you a go-go boy?
00:13:35	l used to be.
00:13:37	Too much beer.
00:13:39	But you'll see me up there again
00:14:06	l don't know how to dance.
00:14:08	Not like that.
00:14:09	You just got to do it, man.
00:14:11	Watch.
00:14:50	Yeah, you just gotta do it, man.
00:14:53	Does it pay well?
00:14:56	lt depends.
00:14:58	You see, you work for tips.
00:15:00	Sometimes you make a hundred...
00:15:02	and if they like you,
00:15:05	And...if you do
00:15:12	Shove off, baby.
00:15:14	That's all you're getting
00:15:20	Do you do the other stuff?
00:15:23	No, not since l found Jesus.
00:15:52	You're cute as shit.
00:18:07	You live around here?
00:18:13	Yeah, but my roommate
00:18:17	You can do a lot in two hours.
00:18:24	Hi. l'm--l'm Gabriel.
00:18:26	Mark. l'm Mark.
00:18:34	Wow, this is really awkward.
00:18:37	l said this is awkward.
00:18:38	Which way?
00:19:02	Which floor are you on?
00:19:04	Five.
00:19:07	lt's just one more flight.
00:19:23	This is it.
00:19:31	lt sticks sometimes.
00:19:36	Oh, babe, you scared me.
00:19:44	l hope you're not allergic.
00:19:48	Why are you here?
00:19:50	l left three messages.
00:19:51	l'm using your computer,
00:20:01	What are you guys up to?
00:20:03	Just hanging out.
00:20:07	Oh, uh, well,
00:20:10	as soon as this
00:20:12	ls this a bad idea?
00:20:15	No, no. lt's a good idea.
00:20:17	Really.
00:20:23	Hi. l'm Katherine Lamberg.
00:20:24	l'm an actress.
00:20:29	We don't have any chairs, so...
00:20:45	Maybe l should go.
00:20:48	This won't take too long.
00:20:53	How many résumés
00:20:55	A hundred and fifty.
00:21:11	l'm in an all-female production
00:21:13	set in a women's penitentiary.
00:21:15	lt's non-equity.
00:21:16	That sounds great.
00:21:19	Really?
00:21:20	l'm a slave, but l understudy
00:21:23	There's a performance tonight
00:21:24	Maybe you could come
00:21:28	Maybe. Uh...
00:21:32	You two are roommates?
00:21:35	But we're very close.
00:21:37	l even take care of his dog.
00:21:39	l live with this guy--Rich.
00:21:43	He's straight.
00:21:47	Gabe, l talked to my mother.
00:21:49	She called you
00:21:51	lsn't that funny?
00:21:53	That's funny.
00:21:55	She still calls you that...
00:21:56	even though we haven't been
00:21:58	We weren't really dating.
00:22:01	Ask anyone from El Camino.
00:22:03	We went to one prom
00:22:06	Thought he liked girls then.
00:22:09	And l was always wondering
00:22:12	l thought it was me.
00:22:14	l told my mother Gabriel's gay.
00:22:15	And she was, like,
00:22:17	l was, like, ''Didn't l mention
00:22:20	''Hello! Do l have
00:22:23	That was a million years ago.
00:22:25	You know what Gabe
00:22:27	Puss. You're so kooky.
00:22:29	l had this James Bond thing,
00:22:32	Octopussy, Pussy Galore.
00:22:34	Hmm. l didn't like it
00:22:37	but it was OKwhen Gabe
00:22:40	or Pussy.
00:22:41	Actually,
00:22:43	Do you have any nicknames?
00:22:45	Beer Can.
00:22:49	Did you used to drink a lot
00:22:52	Gabe's writing a part for me
00:22:55	lt's actually a very big part.
00:22:57	l sing all his songs.
00:22:59	You're so very talented.
00:23:00	l don't know how l feel about
00:23:04	l just know you're gonna be
00:23:07	or Stephen Sondheim
00:23:08	l spent the last eight years
00:23:11	in a genre that's been dying
00:23:14	He's a golden boy.
00:23:15	You love musicals.
00:23:17	l used to.
00:23:18	Musicals are way too contrived
00:23:23	l don't even know
00:23:25	You write songs?
00:23:28	The music, too?
00:23:32	And you...play the piano?
00:23:34	Let's do a number!
00:23:37	Just one. He'll love it.
00:23:40	Katherine, l don't think that
00:23:43	Do one.
00:23:47	Really?
00:23:48	Yeah.
00:23:50	See?
00:23:53	All right. One number,
00:23:56	-Cross your heart?
00:23:58	God, l have to get
00:24:00	Oh, this is so fun.
00:24:01	l tell ya, if Harold Prince
00:24:10	l've heard that
00:24:15	And we are only players
00:24:17	Acting out
00:24:22	But it is lonely as can be
00:24:27	With nobody opposite me
00:24:32	Then
00:24:35	Enter you
00:24:38	Voila, it's showtime
00:24:41	God, l'm sorry, but that dog...
00:24:47	You sing.
00:24:49	No, l sing his songs.
00:24:51	You were singing with her.
00:24:53	-l was?
00:24:58	Well, Katherine usually--
00:25:00	l'll sing along with you.
00:25:01	Let him do it alone.
00:25:13	l heard that
00:25:14	No. Just where she left off.
00:25:20	Enter you
00:25:23	Voila, it's showtime
00:25:26	You brought the house down
00:25:28	With a dance and a dum-diddy
00:25:31	Enter you
00:25:34	ln less than no time
00:25:36	l, uh, still have
00:25:41	Up went the curtain
00:25:43	l've got it.
00:25:50	Perry.
00:25:53	l was feeling, you know,
00:25:55	a little chanteusey, so l
00:25:57	and thought l'd belt out
00:25:59	for a bunch of boozy
00:26:00	l knew you wouldn't want
00:26:03	Wow. Thanks, but Katherine's
00:26:07	Oh, l understand.
00:26:09	But, you know, you could stop by
00:26:11	l'll probably be here
00:26:13	You know where
00:26:14	Yeah. lt's around the corner
00:26:16	-The one with--
00:26:19	-Right.
00:26:23	Friend.
00:26:25	You should sing more.
00:26:27	Thanks.
00:26:32	lt's done.
00:26:34	No, it's not.
00:26:41	lt's done.
00:26:52	Can you see me out?
00:27:10	Babe...
00:27:12	He's a go-go boy.
00:27:17	Well, l'm going.
00:27:18	Your name's on the comp list.
00:27:20	Yeah. And Rich
00:27:23	-One or two?
00:27:25	One or two tickets?
00:27:27	Well, is the go-go boy
00:27:29	l don't know.
00:27:31	Put me down for one.
00:27:33	Hmm. You know,
00:27:36	l won't have
00:27:37	Maybe we can finally go see
00:27:40	and get a baked Alaska.
00:27:41	-OK, great.
00:27:43	Bye, babe.
00:27:53	Finally.
00:28:32	You're really cute.
00:28:49	Maybe if l played the piano,
00:28:54	Whatever.
00:29:44	Keep playing.
00:30:03	Oh, my God.
00:30:04	Feel good?
00:30:07	Do you like that?
00:30:13	All right.
00:30:14	And...
00:30:17	What if you...
00:30:19	went over here?
00:30:21	Where?
00:30:23	Down here.
00:30:25	There? What do you want me to do
00:30:28	l've always wanted someone
00:30:30	while l was playing the piano.
00:30:33	Oh, my God, l can't believe
00:30:36	l've never told anyone that.
00:30:39	You want to do it?
00:30:42	l'll just scoot out
00:30:58	Uh...just a sec.
00:31:07	Yeah, girl.
00:31:10	Backyard.
00:31:13	Out in the backyard.
00:31:14	Good girl, Trixie.
00:31:26	l'm sorry.
00:31:32	Are you uncomfortable?
00:31:33	lt's OK.
00:31:37	What?
00:31:39	l don't know what to play.
00:31:41	Does it matter?
00:31:54	Sorry.
00:31:55	Do you like show tunes?
00:31:58	Uh, l'm a little too nervous
00:32:02	lt's your fantasy.
00:32:04	Well, in my fantasy,
00:32:08	Shit!
00:32:20	Gabriel, you just got music
00:32:23	What's going on?
00:32:26	l need the apartment.
00:32:28	Mark wanted to hear my songs.
00:32:30	And...you're early.
00:32:33	And...l need the apartment.
00:32:39	She's been in France all summer.
00:32:42	Yeah, and you're early.
00:32:45	And l told you l needed
00:32:50	Can we talk about this
00:32:59	What's Trixie doing
00:33:01	Please. l only need an hour.
00:33:03	Please, please, please, Rich...
00:33:05	'cause l really, really want
00:33:07	l'm really, really into him...
00:33:08	and it's not like l get
00:33:11	And l slept out in the hall
00:33:12	Will you--Shh!
00:33:17	What Judy and l have is special.
00:33:20	Special?
00:33:21	And l get the impression
00:33:23	the love that Judy and l share,
00:33:26	l expect it from my parents.
00:33:28	They don't know.
00:33:31	You of all people, l thought
00:33:34	This is really hard for me.
00:33:37	l don't know how to meet people.
00:33:38	l get really weird...
00:33:41	and l make it more important
00:33:47	Can't you do it tomorrow night?
00:33:48	She's been in France all summer.
00:33:50	You can't ask a one-night stand
00:33:54	Let's flip for it.
00:33:55	Shit.
00:33:57	-Flip?
00:34:02	Heads.
00:34:03	No! Tails!
00:34:09	l have a token.
00:34:12	What are you looking for?
00:34:14	Condom.
00:34:17	You want ''New York City
00:34:19	or ''Good for one fare''?
00:34:21	Merci.
00:34:23	''Good for one fare.''
00:34:47	Where do you live?
00:34:49	Brooklyn.
00:34:52	Yeah. But let's not go
00:34:55	Oh, you have a boyfriend
00:34:57	No, but it's not really
00:35:00	You see, l rent the room
00:35:03	and she doesn't like me
00:35:05	lf you're not into this,
00:35:08	No, l am.
00:35:15	Well, what about Wonder Bar?
00:35:17	What do we want to go
00:35:20	Right. Right.
00:35:23	Yeah.
00:35:26	Well, l did tonight, but...
00:35:28	Well, l go to bars,
00:35:32	l used to think
00:35:34	but now, actually, l think
00:35:37	There was a time
00:35:40	l wasn't one of them.
00:35:42	You know? Culturally.
00:35:45	You suck dick, right?
00:35:50	Yeah, but what l mean is,
00:35:54	and l don't look good
00:35:56	and l don't work out...much.
00:35:58	You ever had a boyfriend?
00:36:01	l wouldn't call him a boyfriend.
00:36:05	He was actually something
00:36:08	l met him in the library...
00:36:10	and he was really cute...
00:36:11	and he had this ltalian accent,
00:36:13	l totally love guys
00:36:17	l mean, l was nuts.
00:36:19	l mean, l was totally goofy
00:36:23	But then, you know, one day...
00:36:26	we just stopped having
00:36:31	Then l stopped calling him
00:36:34	and he didn't.
00:36:36	lt was probably better anyways.
00:36:38	l mean, l didn't have a bedroom.
00:36:41	l mean, what's the use
00:36:43	if you don't have
00:36:46	Besides, l started getting
00:36:48	you know, that he was lying
00:36:53	l don't think he was ltalian.
00:36:55	l actually think he was
00:37:00	Well, Gabe,
00:37:04	Uh, wait! Uh...
00:37:11	l do know this one guy.
00:37:14	From my writer's workshop.
00:37:16	Well, l don't know.
00:37:19	go to his place.
00:37:20	Great. Call him.
00:37:22	He's not at home, actually.
00:37:25	He's at a piano bar.
00:37:32	l told my friend, the writer
00:37:35	How happy l would be
00:37:37	lf he'd write an opening number
00:37:39	Especially for me
00:37:42	But when he had it finished
00:37:44	lt came as quite a shock
00:37:46	He handed me a song titled
00:37:48	How do you like my...
00:37:51	l said, ''You can't do that
00:37:53	l said, ''Even l wouldn't dare''
00:37:56	So he made a few small changes
00:37:59	Now l can sing it anywhere
00:38:11	Como te gusta mi pinga
00:38:13	En tus pantalones
00:38:16	Como te gusta mi pinga
00:38:18	Y mis cajones
00:38:20	lt's the same old thing
00:38:24	But when you say it in Espanyol
00:38:26	lt sounds divine
00:38:31	Como te gusta mi pinga
00:38:33	Es muy caliente
00:38:36	Como te gusta mi pinga
00:38:39	Es grande plenty
00:38:41	You don't go around
00:38:43	Shouting, ''You're well-hung''
00:38:44	But when you do it
00:38:47	lt's just fine
00:38:49	When the hour's late,
00:38:52	And l feel that l can't go on
00:38:54	l lift up my head,
00:38:57	And l talk like
00:38:59	Montalban
00:39:03	Como te gusta mi pinga
00:39:05	lt sounds so neato
00:39:08	Like a warm quesadilla
00:39:10	Or a pork burrito
00:39:13	lt's the same old cheese
00:39:16	But when it has a Latin beat
00:39:18	lt's OK
00:39:20	Como te gusta mi pinga
00:39:23	Olé
00:39:31	Oh, thank you.
00:39:33	And thank you
00:39:35	Mr. Lester Sinclair.
00:39:41	This makes me seem really
00:39:43	Anyway, it's a long pathetic
00:39:46	but l met this guy,
00:39:51	Oh, l want to hear this story.
00:39:54	He's cute.
00:39:57	-He's a go-go boy.
00:40:02	l can't believe
00:40:04	What?
00:40:06	But, uh, you've got your place
00:40:09	Gabriel, you tramp.
00:40:11	Of course you can use my co-op
00:40:13	Someone should.
00:40:15	But you got to promise
00:40:21	Gabriel tells me
00:40:23	-That must be fun.
00:40:25	So how often do you participate
00:40:28	-l'm doing research.
00:40:30	My Casanova musical.
00:40:33	Uh, sometimes.
00:40:35	What kind of guys do you usually
00:40:38	No. l don't hustle.
00:40:40	l bet you wouldn't object...
00:40:41	if l slipped a ten-spot
00:40:45	So what's your type?
00:40:47	lt varies.
00:40:49	lnteresting. They aren't all
00:40:53	Once l dated this guy from Yale.
00:40:55	He was in the glee club.
00:40:56	-A Whiffenpoof!
00:40:58	l can't resist a lyric baritone.
00:41:00	ln fact, l've dated
00:41:02	four Tigertones,
00:41:04	and two members of
00:41:07	So you liked this Whiffenpoof?
00:41:08	Yeah. He was really great.
00:41:11	l bet you broke his heart.
00:41:13	Um, you know.
00:41:15	Be careful
00:41:18	We're fragile.
00:41:22	So can me and Gabe go back
00:41:29	My apartment's
00:41:31	Would it be OK if you used
00:41:34	l feel a little weird
00:41:35	-lt's fine.
00:41:37	How long do you expect
00:41:38	l wasn't planning
00:41:40	l could go out and let you in...
00:41:42	and then go back out
00:41:44	To tell you the truth,
00:41:46	Who just broke up
00:41:48	-Sorry.
00:41:50	l just want to forget about him.
00:41:52	lt's good you boys
00:41:54	My place hasn't seen any action
00:41:57	But l wanted it.
00:41:58	-You dumped him?
00:42:00	He dumped you?
00:42:01	Well, l made him dump me.
00:42:03	We were crying,
00:42:05	And l said, ''l want you
00:42:07	l didn't expect him to do it.
00:42:08	Three years--l'm single for
00:42:12	God, l want him back.
00:42:13	What am l saying?
00:42:15	Just his sweaters. l bought
00:42:18	Before he met me,
00:42:20	Well, three. Maybe four.
00:42:21	Let's not talk about this, OK?
00:42:23	Let's not talk about it.
00:42:24	Gabriel presented his song
00:42:26	That peach who sings
00:42:29	l told him he needed
00:42:31	but l never expected...
00:42:33	Well, just look at you.
00:42:34	That song is very good, though.
00:42:36	Thanks.
00:42:37	Pastichey, but l like that.
00:42:40	-The verse?
00:42:42	l've heard
00:42:44	Cut it.
00:42:46	-Cut the verse?
00:42:48	Just go to the chorus.
00:42:50	But what about all the setup?
00:42:51	Gabriel!
00:42:53	the verse-chorus thing forever.
00:42:56	Be a maverick.
00:42:57	What's the function of a verse?
00:42:58	To kill time
00:43:00	During the verse, we wait.
00:43:01	We are waiting for the chorus.
00:43:04	Chorus, chorus, chorus!
00:43:05	Oh, my God, there he is!
00:43:07	l'm sorry, Gabriel.
00:43:09	What, is that--
00:43:10	My ex. Please let him see me.
00:43:13	-Come here.
00:43:28	Hey, how have you been?
00:43:31	Really great.
00:43:34	You got a haircut.
00:43:37	lt looks nice.
00:43:43	l don't want to interrupt.
00:43:44	Oh, no, you're not.
00:43:48	lt's nice to see you.
00:43:54	l'd like to talk to you
00:43:58	Hi. l'm Mark.
00:44:01	How you doing?
00:44:02	l've been better.
00:44:03	You know, meeting this guy...
00:44:05	has been one of the luckiest
00:44:08	Really?
00:44:10	Are you two...dating?
00:44:12	Dating?
00:44:14	Him?
00:44:17	We're not...dating.
00:44:18	Absolutely not.
00:44:20	Not in the romantic sense.
00:44:22	l mean, this thing between us,
00:44:25	Right, stud?
00:44:28	He's an animal.
00:44:29	l see.
00:44:31	Yeah, but we discovered
00:44:36	so we're makin'
00:44:37	lookin' for a couple
00:44:40	We got one.
00:44:43	Did l say you could talk?
00:44:46	-No, what?
00:44:48	-No, sir!
00:44:50	He's still in training.
00:45:05	We fit.
00:45:06	l know.
00:45:08	We do. We fit.
00:45:11	Are you still staying
00:45:13	Yeah.
00:45:18	We should talk.
00:45:19	Can l come over?
00:45:24	lt's OK.
00:45:26	Work this out.
00:45:28	Talk.
00:45:29	Yeah. Talk.
00:45:32	Sir.
00:45:48	That was nice.
00:45:49	What?
00:45:51	That.
00:45:53	l didn't do anything.
00:45:56	Come on.
00:46:01	Ten minutes, ladies.
00:46:04	Oh, my God.
00:46:05	Everyone l know is here tonight.
00:46:08	Oh, how sweet.
00:46:09	They're from
00:46:11	Oh, l wonder if he knows
00:46:12	is here tonight, too.
00:46:14	Oh, my God.
00:46:22	Oh. Oh, give those to her.
00:46:25	Have a great show, everyone.
00:46:30	l think l know
00:46:32	-Who?
00:46:34	Oh, is that your boyfriend?
00:46:40	They're for you.
00:46:41	Oh, no, that's OK.
00:46:44	You can keep them.
00:46:45	Thanks!
00:47:02	What?
00:47:04	She's watching us.
00:47:06	Who is?
00:47:10	So?
00:47:12	l think she's lonely.
00:47:14	No, she's not lonely.
00:47:17	l'm going to feed her.
00:47:19	She looks hungry.
00:47:28	Here, Trixie.
00:47:39	Do you have any menus?
00:47:40	l think l'm hungry.
00:47:42	You're always hungry.
00:47:44	You're always horny.
00:47:54	He's with me.
00:47:55	Don't we need our hands stamped?
00:48:09	Here, sexy.
00:48:12	-Hey, you never call me.
00:48:14	You want something to drink?
00:48:16	No, thanks.
00:48:26	Crowded.
00:48:27	Aren't you hot?
00:51:09	Hey, girl!
00:51:10	Dino!
00:51:12	Ooh, man,
00:51:15	l better get laid,
00:51:17	lt shouldn't be too hard.
00:51:21	-l got a tattoo yesterday.
00:51:23	A tattoo on my ass.
00:51:24	You got to see it.
00:51:26	lt's hot in here.
00:51:28	Down, boy.
00:51:30	Totally trashed.
00:51:32	Do you need to sit?
00:51:33	No. l want to stand
00:51:36	And you.
00:51:39	l forgot to put ointment on it.
00:51:42	My tattoo.
00:51:43	lt's so cool.
00:51:45	total beefcake.
00:51:47	l can't see it without a mirror.
00:51:51	Where's the bathroom?
00:51:52	-What?
00:51:55	Back there.
00:52:19	Where'd you pick up Priscilla?
00:52:23	What a drag.
00:52:25	Yo, leave him alone.
00:52:28	Let's get out of here
00:52:31	No. A friend invited me
00:52:33	Yeah? Which friend?
00:52:34	Some rich guy.
00:52:36	Look, l'm not into hanging out
00:52:38	Aw, it's not like that, baby.
00:52:40	lt's yummy.
00:53:11	So, are you and Mark boyfriends?
00:53:15	l'm sorry?
00:53:17	What's your name?
00:53:24	As in, ''Blow, Gabriel, blow''?
00:53:27	l've heard that before.
00:53:29	Yeah, well...
00:53:31	l'm Miss Coco Peru.
00:53:37	So, is Mark your boyfriend
00:53:41	l don't know what we are.
00:53:45	Oh, l've heard that before.
00:53:54	Look...
00:53:55	l'm not one to gossip.
00:53:57	lt's not my nature.
00:53:58	Truth.
00:54:00	Now, that's my nature.
00:54:02	Uh, can you stand over there?
00:54:04	A little pee shy?
00:54:06	Miss Coco's here to help.
00:54:10	You look like a nice person.
00:54:12	So, as a truth seeker...
00:54:15	l feel it's my duty
00:54:18	that Mark is a no-good
00:54:21	Don't get me wrong.
00:54:23	He's handsome.
00:54:25	He's charming.
00:54:27	Huge penis.
00:54:32	Oh, believe me, Gabriel, l know.
00:54:38	l'd really like to hear this,
00:54:41	Turn around?
00:54:45	Yeah, l remember the first time
00:54:48	lt was two years ago,
00:54:50	l was on the train going home
00:54:55	and he was sitting
00:54:59	But he wasn't really sleeping.
00:55:02	He was pretending to sleep...
00:55:04	because he knows he looks like
00:55:07	and not the Antichrist
00:55:09	And even though l could tell
00:55:12	l went along with it.
00:55:13	Call me crazy.
00:55:16	Anyway, we started talking...
00:55:18	and he gives me some line about
00:55:21	and he asks if he can
00:55:23	l told him.
00:55:25	l don't invite strangers
00:55:28	And then he looks down
00:55:31	and then back up at me,
00:55:33	''lt's big, it's beautiful...
00:55:36	''and you're going to love it.''
00:55:38	And l said, ''Oh...
00:55:40	''all right.''
00:55:43	And as he walked me back
00:55:47	on that gay night of nights...
00:55:49	he took my hand gently into his.
00:55:52	And for a moment...
00:55:54	l felt like the luckiest
00:55:57	And l fantasized--
00:55:58	''Yes. This is it.
00:56:01	''This is the man
00:56:03	''the rest of my life with.''
00:56:04	l'd be the one to show him
00:56:10	But do you know what he did?
00:56:12	He took that heart,
00:56:14	With his little Satan hoofs,
00:56:17	He jumped hard.
00:56:19	The truth is, Gabriel, when
00:56:22	he threw me on the bed.
00:56:24	He tore off all my clothes.
00:56:25	Will you hold on
00:56:27	Come on!
00:56:28	Jesus Christ.
00:56:31	Now l forgot where l was.
00:56:33	Where was l?
00:56:34	Threw you on the bed,
00:56:36	Right.
00:56:39	So l'm licking his balls.
00:56:41	Next thing l know...
00:56:43	he comes in my eye,
00:56:45	Gone.
00:56:47	You ever get come in your eye,
00:56:50	lt burns.
00:56:52	So, there l was...
00:56:54	lying in the middle of my bed
00:56:57	with an eye full of come,
00:57:05	And then, the next day...
00:57:07	when l call the number
00:57:09	it was the Brooklyn
00:57:11	And would believe?
00:57:12	They never even heard
00:57:16	But am l bitter?
00:57:19	Absolutely.
00:57:21	Let's face it, Gabriel.
00:57:23	You are just another
00:57:24	on a dirty cocktail napkin...
00:57:26	shoved into the bottom
00:57:31	Good boy.
00:57:33	But do what you will.
00:57:35	l only offer you
00:57:38	because l'm a giver.
00:57:40	Who knows?
00:57:42	Maybe someday
00:57:43	and l'll be able
00:57:52	''l told you so.''
00:58:02	Totally sick, right?
00:58:03	Sick.
00:58:13	l'm glam, baby.
00:58:15	You don't even know
00:58:20	You want me?
00:58:32	What's wrong with you?
00:58:49	Good night, Dino.
00:58:51	-l'm going.
00:59:07	Where do you work out?
00:59:14	Sorry.
00:59:16	l'm with someone.
01:00:07	Why are you sitting in the hall?
01:00:11	Why'd you come back?
01:00:15	You're upset.
01:00:16	No, no, l'm not upset.
01:00:19	We shouldn't have gone there.
01:00:22	No. lt was good we went.
01:00:25	You didn't need to come back.
01:00:28	Yes, l did.
01:00:31	Can we go in and talk?
01:00:34	They're still going at it.
01:00:39	Yeah,
01:00:46	l can't.
01:00:50	l think l left my keys
01:00:56	l'll knock.
01:01:01	Shit. Shit.
01:01:03	Who's that?
01:01:04	Yeah. Who is it?
01:01:06	lt's Gabe.
01:01:08	We're not finished.
01:01:10	Can you come to the door?
01:01:16	-Sorry.
01:01:18	Mark thinks he left his keys.
01:01:21	Judy, do you see some keys?
01:01:23	Where'd you leave them?
01:01:25	l don't know.
01:01:27	l don't see them.
01:01:29	Maybe you guys
01:01:32	lt'll be faster that way.
01:01:33	No. You're not coming in.
01:01:37	He can't go home
01:01:40	All right,
01:01:42	by the time
01:01:43	All right.
01:01:49	Can you help us look?
01:01:51	Well, where would they be?
01:01:53	l'm not sure.
01:01:57	Did you guys just meet
01:01:59	Yeah. Can we make this
01:02:02	And you want to do each other?
01:02:08	Gabriel, how do you know
01:02:11	You don't really know
01:02:13	You're right.
01:02:15	l think it's kind of a turn-on,
01:02:18	Anonymous sex--
01:02:21	Yeah, pretty hot.
01:02:24	That's the great thing
01:02:27	You can say
01:02:28	and your partner can't disagree.
01:02:30	Do you want to see l.D.?
01:02:33	Well, l do.
01:02:41	Oh, you went to a Soonie school?
01:02:45	What'd you major in?
01:02:46	Journalism.
01:02:47	Well, his name's really Mark.
01:02:50	l don't see them.
01:02:52	When you know too much
01:02:54	sometimes it's hard
01:02:58	but when you know someone
01:03:00	it's hard to think of them
01:03:03	Can l have my wallet back?
01:03:05	l want to be
01:03:07	That's my dream.
01:03:09	Great.
01:03:11	You know, personally,
01:03:15	l find the idea of two men
01:03:18	Are you sure they're here?
01:03:20	No, l'm not sure.
01:03:22	Can you stand still for a second
01:03:25	You know what they say--
01:03:30	But to a degree, everyone is.
01:03:33	There's this part in Paris
01:03:36	There's no straight, no gay--
01:03:38	just bi...
01:03:39	and anyone who hasn't been
01:03:42	lt's great.
01:03:44	Have you ever been to Paris,
01:03:47	l bet you have,
01:03:52	Can we just find the keys?
01:03:54	Ooh, it hasn't been
01:03:57	You guys done yet?
01:03:59	We're looking!
01:04:00	Why are you so upset, Gabriel?
01:04:02	l'm not upset.
01:04:04	OK, l'm upset.
01:04:06	Do you want to talk about it?
01:04:09	Well, that's valid.
01:04:11	l'm sorry.
01:04:13	We never should've gone
01:04:14	You were kissing him.
01:04:17	Dino's this guy
01:04:20	and, actually,
01:04:21	but, technically, you're right,
01:04:24	l don't usually go there
01:04:28	Especially not somebody l...
01:04:33	l don't know
01:04:35	and l don't know
01:04:39	Gabriel,
01:04:41	for you to verbalize
01:04:43	Why did you just leave?
01:04:44	Why didn't you say anything
01:04:48	l pay rent here, too, you know!
01:04:50	Gabriel, maybe Mark deserves
01:04:53	without telling him.
01:04:56	l left because
01:04:57	in the bathroom told me.
01:04:59	There was a drag queen
01:05:01	Here we go.
01:05:04	He said a lot,
01:05:07	was that tonight was
01:05:09	-What?
01:05:10	lt was all lines.
01:05:12	''Oh, look at me.
01:05:14	l was tired.
01:05:15	This old lady--
01:05:17	l don't like bringing guys
01:05:19	And so what?
01:05:21	l was trying to pick you up.
01:05:25	Well, it worked.
01:05:26	Why is that such a problem?
01:05:28	Why were you listening to him?
01:05:29	l didn't have much of a choice.
01:05:32	-l slept with him one time.
01:05:34	Did he also tell you
01:05:37	Oh, shit.
01:05:38	Yeah.
01:05:41	And then right when
01:05:43	Orgasm?
01:05:46	Right. He tells me
01:05:48	and l figured it out,
01:05:49	and l got the fuck out of there.
01:05:51	Well, he didn't say that--
01:05:54	about the video--
01:05:55	but he said you left.
01:05:58	You know, this whole night
01:06:02	lt's gotten
01:06:04	l just keep waiting
01:06:06	because l know that you're
01:06:09	like you dumped
01:06:12	What the hell is a Whiffenpoof?
01:06:14	A singer!
01:06:18	l feel stupid
01:06:21	looking for a place
01:06:23	Oh, is that all we were doing?
01:06:25	That's all l was doing.
01:06:27	Really?
01:06:29	Definitely.
01:06:34	You know...
01:06:38	l know l picked you up
01:06:40	so l don't know why
01:06:45	l don't know.
01:06:47	l thought there was
01:06:54	And just for the record,
01:07:08	Judy, your sheet slipped.
01:07:09	Aw, shit.
01:07:11	-Cover yourself.
01:07:13	Your titties are hanging out.
01:07:15	You know, in Europe,
01:07:17	They're very natural
01:07:20	-Just--
01:07:22	Put them away, Judy.
01:07:23	lt's not like anything
01:07:25	You're not in Paris anymore.
01:07:27	ls this the way you've been
01:07:30	Yes. For the past six months...
01:07:32	l've been
01:07:34	And you want to know something?
01:07:35	Nobody seems to care.
01:07:38	-What are you doing, Judy?
01:07:40	Can't you see
01:07:43	l'm going home to
01:07:45	Look, here's the keys.
01:08:10	l knew you were different
01:09:12	Judy found your keys.
01:09:40	Are you hungry?
01:10:01	Oh, my God, it's so hysterical
01:10:04	lsn't that hilarious?
01:10:05	French fries.
01:10:06	Thank you.
01:10:07	lt's really good you didn't come
01:10:10	We were really off.
01:10:12	Anyway, the girl
01:10:16	horribly allergic to gladiolas--
01:10:18	So there's a chance
01:10:20	Didn't we order cheese fries?
01:10:22	Oh, yeah.
01:10:25	We're out of Thousand lsland.
01:10:29	Oh, well.
01:10:30	l have to tell you
01:10:33	this French-Canadian girl
01:10:35	Everyone there, they wrote,
01:10:38	So this one college guy--
01:10:40	He gets up with this little
01:10:42	with a satin ribbon to tie it,
01:10:44	But before he starts reading...
01:10:46	he tell us about his fascination
01:10:49	But he says what
01:10:51	is what comes out
01:10:53	l know l'm lactose intolerant...
01:10:55	but l really wish
01:10:57	Anyway, evidently,
01:10:59	that's come out
01:11:01	and he says he'll probably
01:11:03	And then he reads
01:11:05	so l'm thinking,
01:11:07	But then he keeps reading,
01:11:09	all about shit.
01:11:12	And he's talking about
01:11:14	Gabe, can you pass me
01:11:16	l was so relieved
01:11:19	Then this ethnic woman
01:11:20	She was Native American
01:11:23	She didn't have a poem
01:11:25	so she tells us about a problem
01:11:28	She said there's some force...
01:11:30	that's just making her
01:11:33	Now all these guys
01:11:34	and, l mean, she's not
01:11:37	Not that l'm into women, but
01:11:41	l mean, it's not that
01:11:43	She just wasn't what l would
01:11:46	Anyway--This is really funny--
01:11:48	l drank so much homemade
01:11:51	that l really had to pee
01:11:54	So l go to the bathroom...
01:11:55	but the bathroom door's locked,
01:11:58	l'm looking at the wallpaper,
01:12:00	Then the toilet flushes.
01:12:02	The door opens,
01:12:04	and he's smiling.
01:12:05	Not one of those polite
01:12:08	He's smiling,
01:12:10	All of a sudden,
01:12:12	How's everything?
01:12:14	Fine.
01:12:16	Want to hear the audition
01:12:18	No, l have new intentions.
01:12:22	-You really don't get it.
01:12:25	You have been monopolizing
01:12:29	since we got here.
01:12:31	Look, you're my best friend.
01:12:34	but right now, l don't want
01:12:39	l didn't come here
01:12:41	invite yourself over,
01:12:45	l was just talking.
01:12:47	l know, but--
01:12:48	Why are you being such a jerk
01:12:53	Yeah.
01:12:56	Shit's shit. Give it a rest,
01:12:59	and let us enjoy ourselves.
01:13:05	l promise l'll call tomorrow.
01:13:07	l promise l'll see your show...
01:13:08	but right now,
01:13:14	Please, don't ruin this for me.
01:13:18	What are you trying to say?
01:13:20	Go someplace else.
01:13:22	Practice your audition monologue
01:13:25	whatever--but please just go.
01:13:34	You know, every time
01:13:37	that l should sleep with women,
01:13:40	-l didn't mean that.
01:13:42	l feel like l have to respond
01:13:46	because l don't want you
01:13:48	that l think that it's wrong
01:13:51	But you bring it up
01:13:53	lt's the most annoying thing
01:13:55	Don't get upset.
01:13:56	l don't want
01:13:57	l'm sorry, Gwen.
01:14:00	You're not that way, that's why.
01:14:03	-Katherine--
01:14:05	l can.
01:14:06	This may be hard
01:14:10	but l am heterosexual.
01:14:13	There are such things as
01:14:15	and l am one of them.
01:14:16	But you won't listen to me.
01:14:19	Just because
01:14:20	it's obvious you have lesbian
01:14:28	l have lesbian issues?
01:14:31	l don't have lesbian anything!
01:14:34	God, it's like when my dad asked
01:14:37	What?
01:14:38	lt'd take me an hour and a half
01:14:41	Can you imagine my dad saying,
01:14:43	''there's a part of you
01:14:44	''but you're afraid to face it''?
01:14:46	Holy wow.
01:14:47	Doesn't anybody here get it?
01:14:49	l'm not a lesbian, l don't
01:14:52	and where's the cheese
01:15:16	Can you let me out?
01:15:39	Hey, Puss.
01:15:45	l'm sorry, babe.
01:15:47	l'm sorry that l got so mad.
01:15:50	Well, l'm sorry.
01:15:53	lt's my fault.
01:15:56	Maybe l am a dyke.
01:15:59	lt'd be a whole lot easier
01:16:04	Come here.
01:16:11	Oh, God.
01:16:14	Why can't you be straight?
01:16:16	You don't like any straight men.
01:16:18	l don't know any straight men.
01:16:24	Kath, are you OK?
01:16:26	Oh, yeah, l'm fine.
01:16:27	You owe me four dollars
01:16:29	We're going to my place to watch
01:16:31	Do you want to go?
01:16:32	Sure. One second.
01:16:40	You better get back inside.
01:16:42	l'm going to put your name
01:16:47	l'll be there.
01:16:50	You better, motherfucker.
01:17:17	Tonight's been a mess.
01:17:22	But, you know,
01:17:25	l did have
01:17:29	even though, you got to admit
01:17:35	You know, l would've invited you
01:17:39	Aw, it's all right.
01:17:40	No. l would have, but...
01:17:42	the lady l told you about...
01:17:46	She's my mother.
01:17:48	l live at home.
01:17:54	Thank you.
01:18:02	l have to pee.
01:18:06	Me, too.
01:18:26	We're alone.
01:18:29	Yeah, finally.
01:18:34	Enter you
01:18:36	Voila, it's showtime
01:18:37	l hear the music of a
01:18:40	Dance and a dum-diddy
01:18:42	Enter you
01:18:44	You're singing it wrong.
01:18:45	What?
01:18:46	Don't sing it.
01:18:48	lt's a good song.
01:18:53	Shut up.
01:18:54	Well, it is.
01:18:58	You're being polite.
01:19:07	You really think so?
01:19:09	Yeah. lt's really good.
01:19:12	Enter you
01:19:14	That's all l know.
01:19:15	You have to teach me the rest.
01:19:17	l need a piano.
01:19:19	We've already established that.
01:19:52	You know, l think it's good
01:19:56	You do?
01:19:58	Yeah. We got the hard part
01:20:01	Oh, what about the sex?
01:20:06	What kind of a girl
01:21:47	Hey, this is Mark.
01:21:49	You got me.
01:21:50	Leave a message.
01:22:10	Enter you
01:22:14	Voila, it's showtime
01:22:17	You brought the house down
01:22:19	With a dance and a dum-diddy
01:22:23	Enter you
01:22:26	ln less than no time
01:22:30	This ugly drama
01:22:32	Has become
01:22:35	Pretty
01:22:37	Up went the curtain
01:22:40	My lines felt wrong
01:22:42	lntermission seemed so far away
01:22:47	Applause uncertain
01:22:50	The scenes too long
01:22:52	Life was like
01:22:56	But now you're here
01:22:59	We meet stage center
01:23:01	l thought my story line
01:23:05	Then from the blue
01:23:10	Enter
01:23:15	You

Trick