Twelve Chairs The

en
00:00:24 [Moaning]
00:00:30 [Gasps]
00:00:32 Natasha Nikolaevna.
00:00:35 [Door Opens]
00:00:37 - [Gasps]
00:00:41 Get my son-in-law. Hurry!
00:00:44 I must talk to him.
00:00:46 There's something
00:00:50 There, there, Claudia lvanovna.
00:00:53 [Groaning]
00:00:55 Oh.
00:00:58 Kolya!
00:01:00 Kolya!
00:01:02 Kolya!
00:01:05 Kolya, quick.
00:01:08 Tell Vorobyaninov
00:01:10 Tell him to hurry.
00:01:14 Oh.
00:01:29 Bozhe moi.
00:01:33 That poor woman.
00:01:35 Who is going to take
00:01:42 [Chorus Vocalizing]
00:01:46 [Speaking Russian]
00:01:51 It's in the hands of God now.
00:01:55 Thank you for coming, Father.
00:01:58 It was my pleasure.
00:02:00 Go to her.
00:02:02 Comfort her.
00:02:04 Courage. Courage.
00:02:08 [Sighs]
00:02:16 - Father Fyo...
00:02:18 - Dor.
00:02:20 She's inside.
00:02:23 I, uh...
00:02:36 Oh. Oh.
00:02:39 Oh, my dear neighbor.
00:02:41 I'm so glad you're here.
00:02:43 She has been calling for you.
00:02:45 I just saw the priest.
00:02:48 He seemed in a great hurry.
00:02:50 He was very peculiar.
00:02:54 She just confessed.
00:02:57 How is she?
00:02:59 She is doing splendidly.
00:03:01 The doctor says
00:03:04 She'll be dead before morning.
00:03:07 I'd better go in.
00:03:09 [Door Opens]
00:03:12 lppolit, it's you. You've come.
00:03:15 Yes. I'm here.
00:03:18 - It's me.
00:03:21 Ippolit...
00:03:23 do you remember
00:03:28 Dining room suite?
00:03:31 In the big house in Stargorod.
00:03:35 - Before the revolution.
00:03:39 Beautiful furniture.
00:03:41 Made by Hambs of London.
00:03:46 Ippolit, my jewels.
00:03:50 My diamonds.
00:03:52 I sewed them into
00:03:55 - What?
00:04:01 I sewed them
00:04:07 My gorgeous diamond tiara.
00:04:12 I wore it when I was
00:04:17 - My beautiful pearl earrings.
00:04:23 - My emerald brooch.
00:04:26 - My diamond necklace.
00:04:30 The little gold cat
00:04:34 Stuffed in a ch...
00:04:37 How could you do
00:04:42 Why didn't you
00:04:44 Why should I have
00:04:47 when you had already squandered away
00:04:50 with your parties
00:04:52 Why didn't you take them out?
00:04:56 I didn't have time!
00:04:58 You remember how quickly
00:05:01 They were left
00:05:03 Bozhe moi.
00:05:05 Bozhe moi.!
00:05:08 50,000 rubles' worth
00:05:12 stuffed in a chair!
00:05:16 Heaven knows
00:05:20 If it's still a chair!
00:05:23 It may be firewood by now.
00:05:28 How could you do such a thing?
00:05:34 How could you do
00:05:42 How could you do
00:05:47 Please, lppolit.
00:05:51 I know I did wrong, but...
00:05:54 please forgive me.
00:06:02 Of course.
00:06:07 Of course, maman.
00:06:10 Of course I forgive you.
00:06:22 Thank you.
00:06:24 Now I can die in peace.
00:06:33 [Man Singing]
00:06:48 [Singing Continues]
00:07:04 [Singing Continues]
00:07:34 [Singing Continues]
00:08:42 [Singing Continues]
00:09:02 [Ends]
00:09:08 Give! Open your heart!
00:09:15 Thank you, sir.
00:09:32 Now there's a healthy girl.
00:09:46 What can I say,
00:09:48 It's a miracle.
00:09:50 I can walk.
00:10:04 Do you love me?
00:10:07 Well, let's just say
00:10:11 - [Key Clicking In Lock]
00:10:14 Your husband?
00:10:16 Out goes the bad air,
00:10:20 - Out goes the bad air...
00:10:23 - Who are you?
00:10:26 She fainted just outside the door.
00:10:30 How dare you allow a frail creature
00:10:34 - Has she ever fainted before?
00:10:37 All right. Come on.
00:10:39 Now remember,
00:10:41 in goes the good air.
00:10:43 [Together]
00:10:46 - I should report you for this, but we'll let it go.
00:10:49 You are very kind. It will never happen again.
00:10:52 - See that it doesn't.!
00:10:57 Out goes the good air,
00:11:00 Out goes the good air,
00:11:03 - [Birds Twittering]
00:11:26 [Creaks]
00:11:39 [Snoring]
00:11:50 [Snoring Continues]
00:12:05 - [Snorts, Mutters]
00:12:07 There. Oh, boy.
00:12:11 Thank you.
00:12:14 - Who are you?
00:12:17 Cigarette?
00:12:22 Thank you.
00:12:24 Tell me, uh, comrade...
00:12:26 "Comrade." "Comrade."
00:12:29 Everybody calls me comrade.
00:12:32 Everybody in the new
00:12:36 People you don't know,
00:12:38 Everybody says "comrade."
00:12:42 Oh, I miss Russia.
00:12:44 Hmm, yes.
00:12:46 Tell me, uh, what goes on
00:12:50 Mostly dying.
00:12:53 Dying.
00:12:55 It's an old-age home
00:12:59 They tippy-toe in,
00:13:04 and... [Raspberry]
00:13:07 Oh, what a pity.
00:13:10 See, I thought
00:13:12 You, uh... You don't happen to know
00:13:16 You see, I've come a long way,
00:13:19 Oh, uh, by the by...
00:13:22 do you happen to have
00:13:24 [Exhales Deeply]
00:13:28 [lmitating English Accent]
00:13:31 I don't happen to have
00:13:34 There isn't a spare bed
00:13:37 People are sleeping
00:13:39 and you're talking spare bed.
00:13:42 You make me laugh.
00:13:45 "Spare bed."
00:13:51 - [Shatters]
00:13:53 I'll tell you what.
00:13:55 If you'll buy me a drink...
00:13:58 you can sleep on the floor.
00:14:01 Done. Come on.
00:14:04 What are you doing in Stargorod?
00:14:07 Listen, tell me. Tell me.
00:14:10 Oh, in the old days
00:14:14 Ippolit Matveyevich
00:14:17 He was a marshal
00:14:20 I loved him.
00:14:24 Ah. And whatever became
00:14:27 One night, about 10 years ago,
00:14:31 It was bombs and cannons
00:14:34 It was terrible, terrible.
00:14:36 Oh, yes.
00:14:38 That was it. The revolution.
00:14:41 You're smart.
00:14:45 You're okay.
00:14:47 Anyways...
00:14:50 they all run away.
00:14:54 Well, come on,
00:14:57 Let us see
00:14:59 two Russians can get
00:15:03 I like that.
00:15:37 Ah. Ivan, fetch
00:15:41 He's coming.
00:15:57 Master.
00:16:05 I love him.
00:16:10 Please, dear, hurry home.
00:16:14 "Don't gallop."
00:16:18 "Don't gallop,"
00:16:21 That's your job. You'll have to puzzle it out.
00:16:25 [Ivanovna]
00:16:27 Don't drink too much,
00:16:29 And stay away
00:16:31 - Ils sont voleurs.
00:16:35 Tout va bien.
00:16:38 There, master.
00:16:43 I love him.
00:16:46 [Birds Twittering]
00:16:57 [Door Opens]
00:16:59 Here's your castle.
00:17:01 Drink vodka, we talk.
00:17:05 You know what we can...
00:17:08 do.
00:17:12 Master?
00:17:14 Tikon.
00:17:16 Master?
00:17:19 Is it really him?
00:17:21 It's impossible!
00:17:24 It can't be!
00:17:26 It can't be!
00:17:28 Oh, ma...
00:17:30 Oh, that's him.
00:17:33 That's my master.
00:17:35 - [Both Laughing]
00:17:38 - Here, Tikon.
00:17:40 Here is a ruble. You go have some vodka,
00:17:44 - Vodka.
00:17:47 - [Groans]
00:17:49 - Business. Business.
00:17:51 Tikon...
00:17:54 you're not to say a word
00:17:58 It is secret.
00:18:04 [Whispering]
00:18:07 It's a secret.
00:18:16 So...
00:18:18 you'd prefer to keep
00:18:21 Very interesting.
00:18:23 Who are you?
00:18:26 What is this business
00:18:30 I have no business with you.
00:18:33 What do you want?
00:18:35 Oh, I don't know.
00:18:37 I guess maybe it depends
00:18:41 - Maybe this will shed a little light on the matter.
00:18:45 Oh, how very impressive.
00:18:49 This ought to fetch
00:18:51 Please give me that paper.
00:18:55 Oh, haven't you heard?
00:19:00 Everything belongs
00:19:02 Will you please
00:19:05 It is a private matter,
00:19:08 Yes, of course. Of course.
00:19:11 It's considered gauche.
00:19:14 Now, I must be off.
00:19:20 - Where are you going?
00:19:23 Quo vadis?
00:19:25 Well, if you must know,
00:19:34 - "Secret police"?
00:19:38 After all, I am a patriotic
00:19:41 It is my sacred duty
00:19:45 Now, maybe if you weren't such a selfish pig,
00:19:49 - I can't.
00:19:51 - Wait.
00:19:53 - Let's talk.
00:19:55 - Things.
00:19:57 - I don't know. Situation...
00:19:58 - Wait.
00:20:00 - Let's talk.
00:20:01 - It.
00:20:02 - You know.
00:20:04 - What we're talking about.
00:20:07 - You mustn't.
00:20:08 - Why?
00:20:09 - What reward?
00:20:10 - Wait.
00:20:12 - We'll talk...
00:20:13 About the diamonds,
00:20:18 The diamonds.
00:20:25 And most of this stuff
00:20:28 20 or 30 years ago
00:20:31 Yes.
00:20:33 That means that today...
00:20:35 they'd probably be worth
00:20:42 As much as that?
00:20:44 Not a kopeck less.
00:20:47 And maybe more.
00:20:49 I've got to find
00:20:55 [Cackles]
00:20:57 Tikon is back.
00:20:59 - Tikon, come here.
00:21:03 - Tikon...
00:21:06 Coming, master. I'm coming.
00:21:10 Coming. Coming.
00:21:13 I'm coming, master.
00:21:16 I'm coming.
00:21:19 I'm coming.
00:21:21 - Tikon.
00:21:25 Tikon, the furniture.
00:21:28 - The furniture.
00:21:31 - What happened to the furniture?
00:21:34 What happened
00:21:37 [Snoring]
00:21:41 Tikon. Tikon.
00:21:44 [Snoring Continues]
00:21:47 [Sighs]
00:21:49 Well, cross-examination
00:21:51 will have to be adjourned
00:21:55 Let's go to bed.
00:22:00 [Chorus Vocalizing]
00:22:11 Oh, thou who knowest all...
00:22:14 You know.
00:22:22 [Snoring]
00:22:24 [Rooster Crowing]
00:22:27 [Crowing Continues]
00:22:33 Tikon.
00:22:36 Tikon.
00:22:38 Master. Hmm.
00:22:40 - Oh, master, you're still...
00:22:43 [Vorobyaninov]
00:22:45 - The furniture?
00:22:47 Where is the furniture?
00:22:49 You mean upstairs
00:22:52 [Vorobyaninov]
00:22:54 Some of it is still there.
00:22:57 The velvet sofa is there.
00:23:01 And the andirons.
00:23:05 Did they keep the chairs?
00:23:07 There was a dining room suite
00:23:11 made by Hambs of London.
00:23:14 They were upholstered
00:23:17 Do you remember?
00:23:20 Twelve chairs. Walnut.
00:23:24 Yes! Yes!
00:23:26 They're gone.
00:23:28 [Growling]
00:23:31 - All but one.
00:23:33 The pantry,
00:23:36 Sits there.
00:23:39 Good. Now what happened
00:23:42 One morning, a big van came...
00:23:45 from the Bureau of Housing,
00:23:48 - The Bureau of Housing?
00:23:51 Now, think, Tikon, what street is
00:23:59 Headache! Headache!
00:24:04 - What I drink last night.
00:24:07 What do you mean
00:24:09 Look, I don't give a damn
00:24:12 All right.
00:24:14 You will go upstairs and occupy
00:24:17 and I will lead the attack
00:24:19 - I'm off.
00:24:19 - I'm off.
00:24:22 What shall I tell them?
00:24:24 You will tell them that you are
00:24:28 and you will say that
00:24:31 and that you are willing to pay
00:24:35 to remember them by.
00:24:40 [Sighs]
00:24:43 Cousin Michael from Kiev.
00:24:46 I am Cousin Michael from Kiev.
00:24:58 - Yes?
00:25:01 - All the Michaels are dead.
00:25:08 What can I do for you?
00:25:10 I am Cousin... Chair!
00:25:23 [Audio Sped Up, High-pitched]
00:25:27 - Stop or I'll call the police!
00:25:30 - Give it to me! Give it to me!
00:25:34 Aaah!
00:25:47 [Both Yelling, High-pitched]
00:25:50 [Yelling Continues]
00:25:58 Father Fyodor.
00:26:01 [Panting]
00:26:06 How are ya?
00:26:08 Well, this is disgusting.
00:26:12 This is truly disgusting.
00:26:15 Not so fast! Not so fast!
00:26:18 - That's my chair.
00:26:20 It's the Holy Father.
00:26:25 - Here's a donation.
00:26:29 Thank you.
00:26:33 [Both Yelling, High-pitched]
00:26:35 - [Groans]
00:26:37 - Why are you after my chair?
00:26:40 - Then whose is it?
00:26:44 - It belongs to the workers.
00:26:47 - Yes. The workers.
00:26:49 is a member
00:26:51 - Maybe.
00:26:54 How can a priest
00:26:56 - [Blow Lands]
00:26:58 The church must keep up
00:27:07 [Grunts]
00:27:31 How did you find out
00:27:34 People talk.
00:27:38 Why, you disgusting creature.
00:27:42 You used the sacred sacrament
00:27:45 to further your own ends.!
00:27:48 - Not really.
00:27:51 the most
00:27:54 it has ever been
00:27:57 You're not worth
00:28:02 - Well, you are!
00:28:06 Come back, you coward.!
00:28:08 You'd better keep away
00:28:13 Finders, keepers!
00:28:20 Hmm. It's just like
00:28:23 We have a mysterious rival.
00:28:29 Hey, uh, you'd better
00:28:31 You look rather conspicuous.
00:28:33 You're right.
00:28:35 Oh, how I hate him.
00:28:39 Go.
00:28:45 [Chattering]
00:29:13 [Chorus Vocalizing]
00:30:20 [Mumbling]
00:30:24 "Hambs."
00:30:26 "Drapes."
00:30:33 Here we are.
00:30:35 [Grunts]
00:30:38 [Groans]
00:31:00 Hello.
00:31:03 Ah.
00:31:09 Oh.
00:31:15 [Mumbling]
00:31:20 That's it.
00:31:23 [Laughing]
00:31:26 - Can I help you?
00:31:29 - Well?
00:31:32 [Sobbing]
00:31:36 I didn't know
00:31:41 I came in and...
00:31:44 l...
00:31:46 Persons seeking information are to wait
00:31:50 It is a criminal offense
00:31:52 to tamper with official files.
00:31:54 Oh, yes. Yes, to be sure.
00:31:59 - Remove your hat.
00:32:03 All right. Now that you are in the proper area,
00:32:07 Chairs. Dining room...
00:32:09 walnut, made by Hambs...
00:32:12 belonging to a certain
00:32:17 - Tell me, comrade.
00:32:19 Why exactly are you seeking
00:32:23 It's, uh...
00:32:27 I'm sorry.
00:32:29 No information.
00:32:32 All right. All right.
00:32:35 I'll tell you everything.
00:32:38 I am Vorobyaninov's son.
00:32:43 His firstborn.
00:32:45 He was like a father to me.
00:32:47 So...
00:32:50 you are Vorobyaninov's son.
00:32:53 Yes, I am.
00:32:57 - How old are you?
00:32:59 - Which is it?
00:33:01 - According to our records, Vorobyaninov is 53.
00:33:05 That means that when you were born,
00:33:08 11.
00:33:11 [Whistles]
00:33:14 Ah.
00:33:17 [Mutters]
00:33:22 [Grunts]
00:33:27 Ticktock.
00:33:29 - Are you trying to bribe a Soviet official?
00:33:33 I was hoping for the best.
00:33:35 Well, since you are
00:33:39 I'll see what I can do.
00:33:41 Thank you.
00:33:43 Now, if you will just
00:33:46 I will be back
00:33:48 Oh, thank you.
00:33:56 Ah. Perfect.
00:33:59 One dozen Hambs chairs,
00:34:04 Ah.
00:34:06 Better make that 11.
00:34:10 Sent to a certain engineer
00:34:14 [Chuckles]
00:34:17 Siberia.
00:34:21 - Here we are.
00:34:23 Here's your shipping order.
00:34:26 - One moment, please.
00:34:28 - Procedure.
00:34:32 I hope you find
00:34:38 [Muttering]
00:34:41 That's it.
00:34:43 [Laughing]
00:34:47 Bless you. Bless you.
00:34:49 Bless you.
00:34:53 [Chattering]
00:34:58 [No Audible Dialogue]
00:35:10 [Train Whistle Blows]
00:35:37 Moscow.
00:35:39 Moscow.
00:35:41 The chairs are in Moscow.
00:35:44 I can hardly believe it.
00:35:46 I mean, we're actually
00:35:50 [Chuckles]
00:35:54 I never realized
00:35:57 If they only knew.
00:36:00 Moscow!
00:36:47 They're not here.
00:36:50 Look. See that cabinet?
00:36:53 And those writing tables.
00:36:56 - We're on the wrong floor.
00:36:59 - Take it easy.
00:37:03 How would we ever find them, hmm?
00:37:06 Who would we ask?
00:37:08 I never should have...
00:37:14 My chairs.
00:37:18 My chairs!
00:37:20 That's my furniture.!
00:37:23 I wonder which one it is.
00:37:25 Don't you worry about it.
00:37:29 We will get the chairs
00:37:33 Closing time.
00:37:36 - Closing time. Closing time.
00:37:38 Closing time.
00:37:41 Closing time.
00:37:48 What shall we do?
00:37:51 Wait until these people go by,
00:38:10 [Wood Rattling]
00:38:14 Here we are.
00:38:17 Get those Hambs
00:38:20 and put them on the cart.
00:38:23 Shh, shh, shh.
00:38:25 Don't make a sound.
00:38:29 Calm. Calm.
00:38:32 At all costs.
00:38:34 - [Thump]
00:38:37 No, no, no, no, no.
00:38:41 Leave four.
00:38:43 Four. We are only
00:38:47 Why are they only
00:38:50 We are only taking seven...
00:38:52 because four is enough...
00:38:54 to represent the period.
00:38:56 That's why.
00:38:59 Good. Good. Now...
00:39:02 take the chairs
00:39:05 They will be collected
00:39:06 They will be collected
00:39:09 Good.
00:39:18 They're getting away.
00:39:21 They're not getting away.
00:39:23 We know exactly
00:39:26 And if luck is with us,
00:39:31 - What do you mean?
00:39:34 the jewels might
00:39:38 in one of these
00:39:42 [Metal Rattles]
00:39:44 - What are you doing?
00:39:49 Does this look like
00:40:07 The chairs.! The chairs.!
00:40:09 I know, I know.
00:40:14 "Columbus Repertory Theatre."
00:40:17 [Vorobyaninov]
00:40:21 four, six.
00:40:26 Six. Seven.
00:40:28 Where's seven?
00:40:30 [Vorobyaninov]
00:40:32 It's all right.
00:40:34 Our problem is
00:40:36 Where is number seven?
00:40:41 Well, I must find out.
00:40:43 Yes, we must find out.
00:40:45 Not "we." I.
00:40:47 You sit here
00:40:50 Sit.
00:40:52 Sit.
00:40:58 Stay.
00:41:05 [Whines]
00:41:21 [Whimpering]
00:42:11 [Man]
00:42:14 Siberia.!
00:42:58 [Knocking]
00:43:05 [Huffing]
00:43:08 - Yes?
00:43:11 - I am Engineer Bruns.
00:43:14 - What do you want?
00:43:16 [Muttering]
00:43:18 What is it?
00:43:21 [Moaning, Chuckling]
00:43:24 - Olga!
00:43:26 Andrei, why is that man
00:43:29 - I don't know.
00:43:31 - Oh! Oh!
00:43:34 - Ooh! Ow! Ooh!
00:43:37 No, no, no. Don't...
00:43:40 - Put him up on the chair.
00:43:42 Now, once and for all,
00:43:45 - I want to grovel at your feet.
00:43:48 There will be no groveling in this house.
00:43:51 - We don't allow groveling.
00:43:53 l... Hmm.
00:43:56 These chairs.
00:44:01 - He wants our chairs.
00:44:04 Are you a furniture dealer?
00:44:06 Not for personal gain.
00:44:11 My motives are pure. Ohh.
00:44:13 They're the very best motives.
00:44:16 you're going to be
00:44:19 Yes.
00:44:21 - Well?
00:44:23 Your motives.
00:44:25 Oh, yes. My motives.
00:44:29 Come on, brain.
00:44:33 Got it!
00:44:35 The chairs belonged to my wife
00:44:39 and now my wife is ill.
00:44:41 She's very ill.
00:44:46 Dying. Uh, she keeps
00:44:51 Oh, please.
00:44:53 It's a dying woman's wish.
00:44:56 Olga, what shall we do?
00:44:59 - Don't be ridiculous. Nobody's taking my chairs.
00:45:03 I'm sorry.
00:45:05 I didn't hear that.
00:45:08 I didn't hear that.
00:45:10 I didn't hear that.
00:45:12 I didn't hear that. I didn't hear that.
00:45:15 Don't you understand?
00:45:17 [Yells]
00:45:19 [Whimpering]
00:45:25 My dear lady,
00:45:29 I need those chairs!
00:45:32 - Andrei!
00:45:34 - Oh, please.
00:45:37 [Screams]
00:45:39 I want him out of this house
00:45:43 Well, that's done it.
00:45:45 Wait. Wait.
00:45:49 [Yelps]
00:45:52 Don't judge a book
00:45:54 [Groans]
00:46:00 A memento.
00:46:03 Ow! Ow!
00:46:06 Ow!
00:46:13 Ah!
00:46:17 Wait! Wait! I'll pay!
00:46:20 100 rubles!
00:46:25 - 102?
00:46:42 [Man]
00:46:44 If we don't sail in 10 minutes,
00:46:47 Wait, please.
00:46:51 One of my actors
00:47:03 Wait.
00:47:12 [Man]
00:47:14 [Sobbing]
00:47:16 How the hell can I do the play
00:47:21 Sevitsky, how could you
00:47:24 It's your job to make sure
00:47:26 are supposed to be
00:47:29 and not wandering around
00:47:31 - Well...
00:47:34 Talk, talk, talk,
00:47:36 That's all I hear
00:47:39 Oh, my goodness.
00:47:41 I look dreadful.
00:47:45 Time and tide
00:47:48 I like that reading.
00:47:51 Maybe he could play the count.
00:47:53 Sevitsky, that vulgar man
00:47:56 it's only good
00:47:59 running ships...
00:48:03 and trying to browbeat
00:48:06 Well, if worse
00:48:10 I shall play the count.
00:48:13 Worse shall never come
00:48:19 Excuse me.
00:48:21 I'm looking for the commissar producer
00:48:27 - That's me.
00:48:33 And what do you want?
00:48:35 I've just come from Gronsky.
00:48:38 - Where is he?
00:48:40 - [Gasps]
00:48:44 He tried to stop a streetcar.
00:48:48 And, uh, who are you?
00:48:50 Well, I am from the Artists'Union,
00:48:53 I took the liberty of getting an immediate
00:48:56 Fine actor. Made for the part.
00:49:00 l...
00:49:05 Guess what.
00:49:09 - [Traditional]
00:49:20 [Continues, Faint]
00:49:26 Sevitsky.
00:49:31 - Where are you going with that samovar?
00:49:34 - That samovar.
00:49:37 - Yes.
00:49:40 for the show tonight.
00:49:42 Sevitsky, if I catch you trying to sell
00:49:48 Siberia!
00:49:50 I was going to have it polished.
00:49:56 I hate people I don't like.
00:50:09 I feel something.
00:50:11 I knew it. I felt it.
00:50:15 Lucky seven.
00:50:18 That is seven.
00:50:20 Lucky eight.
00:50:25 Well, seems much too small
00:50:29 Open it, open it.
00:50:35 [Sighs]
00:50:39 Empty.
00:50:42 Somebody must have
00:50:46 Oh, there were never
00:50:49 It was put in
00:50:51 "One set of 12 chairs...
00:50:53 "crafted for
00:50:56 by Christopher Hambs
00:50:58 [Sighs]
00:51:02 I really thought we had them.
00:51:05 Next.
00:51:10 - What's going on here?
00:51:12 We are actors. We are members of
00:51:16 As you can see, my dear sir,
00:51:20 We are repairing them.
00:51:22 - Misha.
00:51:26 Oh.
00:51:28 If you're actors, you'd better get up to
00:51:31 Oh, yes, of course.
00:51:33 Come along, Misha.
00:51:42 [Ostap] "The workers are dissatisfied.
00:51:45 Is there any truth
00:51:48 "An uprising of peasants and workers.
00:51:51 Bender, the other
00:51:54 The other three chairs in the hold
00:51:57 - Hmm?
00:52:00 you will get us thrown off this ship
00:52:04 It's only a play.
00:52:07 I have attended a theater
00:52:11 [Man]
00:52:13 It will be so marvelous to see
00:52:17 [Woman]
00:52:20 - Where's Krakov?
00:52:23 You're on.
00:52:29 - Ah, Count Krakov.
00:52:40 [Audience Murmuring]
00:52:46 [Vorobyaninov]
00:52:50 Not a chance.
00:52:52 Ostap...
00:52:56 You'll never catch up
00:52:58 I don't intend to. I'm going to take
00:53:05 [Grunting]
00:53:11 Ostap! Ostap!
00:53:13 I'm not a strong swimmer!
00:53:16 I'm not a swimmer. Help!
00:53:26 Vorobyaninov.
00:53:34 Vorobyaninov.
00:53:39 Help. Help.
00:53:41 Help.
00:53:53 Thank you.
00:54:00 l...
00:54:02 Cold.
00:54:04 It's cold.
00:54:06 [Shivering]
00:54:12 - Here.
00:54:16 Thank you.
00:54:19 Thank you.
00:54:22 You're a good soul, Bender.
00:54:26 A good soul.
00:55:08 [Slurps]
00:55:12 Mmm! This borscht
00:55:15 I love it cold!
00:55:18 Why didn't you
00:55:21 How could I make it
00:55:25 If we didn't eat hot things
00:55:28 Smell that air.
00:55:31 Smell that air!
00:55:34 Like wine.
00:55:36 I know. I know.
00:55:38 Every night I thank God
00:55:42 I don't think I could have
00:55:46 My dear.
00:55:49 My dearest dear.
00:55:56 [Fyodor]
00:55:58 What?
00:56:02 I didn't say anything.
00:56:05 104.
00:56:07 Olga?
00:56:12 [Chorus Vocalizing]
00:56:15 105.
00:56:20 Good. Oh, good.
00:56:22 Good. Good.
00:56:25 Oh, thank you. Thank you.
00:56:30 You really shouldn't
00:56:32 Please, go now.
00:56:35 I never want
00:56:37 Oh, I must say good-bye
00:56:39 How can I leave without
00:56:42 [Screams]
00:56:45 [Accordion]
00:56:55 The chairs.
00:57:14 - Yes?
00:57:24 [Ostap]
00:57:29 Come on.
00:57:31 We must see where
00:58:15 [Ostap]
00:58:38 Comrade Sevitsky! You are under arrest
00:58:43 - Polished. I'm having it polished.
00:58:47 Oh, it's you...
00:58:50 Count Krakov.
00:58:52 Well, you've had
00:58:55 Now, if you don't mind,
00:58:57 Wait a minute.
00:59:00 - Business?
00:59:02 I'm interested in some chairs.
00:59:06 They're in your present production
00:59:09 Oh, yes. Walnut.
00:59:14 I'm afraid they're
00:59:16 Listen, scum!
00:59:19 Do you hear me?
00:59:22 You don't understand.
00:59:25 I promised them to a certain individual.
00:59:28 Sell him something else.
00:59:32 Don't worry. You won't
00:59:34 You will get
00:59:37 - Oh, my throat!
00:59:39 - Tonight. After the performance.
00:59:42 Yes. I'll bring them here.
00:59:44 All right.
00:59:46 Now, Sevitsky,
00:59:49 Because if you do, I'm afraid
00:59:52 - A threat to the wise, hmm?
00:59:55 Midnight.
00:59:58 You bring the money,
01:00:05 Bender, Bender, 30 rubles?
01:00:12 [Seagulls Squawking]
01:00:34 Thank you.
01:00:37 Fine day for a picnic.
01:00:40 The others should be
01:00:43 Thank you.
01:00:45 Thank you and good-bye.
01:00:49 Good-bye.
01:00:52 Good-bye.
01:00:55 Get out of here!
01:01:19 [Moaning]
01:01:25 Ooh! Oh,
01:01:28 [Moaning Continues]
01:01:32 Beautiful workmanship.
01:01:35 What a gorgeous chair!
01:01:43 Oh, it can't be.
01:01:46 [Muttering]
01:01:51 [Panting]
01:01:55 It can't be! It can't...
01:01:59 [Groans]
01:02:01 I don't want to live.
01:02:05 I don't want to live!
01:02:08 [Screaming]
01:02:13 [Grunts, Groans]
01:02:17 [Groaning Continues]
01:02:25 Thirty rubles!
01:02:53 Of course! Of course!
01:03:02 Dostoievsky.
01:03:05 - What?
01:03:07 - Can you roll your eyes?
01:03:09 Yes, roll your eyes.
01:03:11 - I don't know.
01:03:17 Oh, that's wonderful.
01:03:20 Now, at a given signal...
01:03:24 At a given signal from me...
01:03:26 you will fall from this
01:03:29 and pretend to have
01:03:32 You will roll your eyes...
01:03:35 you will move
01:03:38 in short,
01:03:41 and generally writhe
01:03:44 I will call attention
01:03:48 and the good-hearted citizens of Yalta
01:03:54 What a disgusting idea.
01:04:00 What filthy taste!
01:04:05 There never was
01:04:10 a Vorobyaninov who begs!
01:04:16 [Groans]
01:04:19 Parasite!
01:04:21 Parasite! Parasite!
01:04:24 Disgusting,
01:04:28 bloodsucking parasite!
01:04:31 Vorobyaninovs never beg!
01:04:44 [Whimpering]
01:04:52 Now listen, old man.
01:04:55 Pride is a luxury
01:04:58 at this time
01:05:01 We need 30 rubles
01:05:07 It's sink or swim.
01:05:09 I choose swim.
01:05:12 Now, to beg or not to beg?
01:05:16 I will give you five...
01:05:20 to decide yes or no.
01:05:22 On the count of five,
01:05:25 - One...
01:05:30 Good.
01:05:33 Now, do your stuff.
01:05:39 Attention!
01:05:44 A comrade, a citizen,
01:05:48 cries out for our attention!
01:05:51 Epilepsy, my friends!
01:05:55 The same disease that struck down
01:05:59 God knows what genius,
01:06:04 in the mind of this poor,
01:06:07 Ah, this poor man.
01:06:10 [Whispers]
01:06:12 Yes, give! Give...
01:06:15 so that this quivering,
01:06:18 can receive desperately
01:06:21 Give! Give, please!
01:06:24 Open your hearts.
01:06:27 Thank you.
01:06:31 Please give.
01:06:35 [Crickets Chirping]
01:06:35 [Crickets Chirping]
01:06:56 Cigarette?
01:06:58 No, thank you.
01:07:00 Still angry, huh?
01:07:04 When this business is over...
01:07:08 I never want
01:07:30 Oh, you're here.
01:07:34 Yes.
01:07:37 Yes.
01:07:40 Sorry I'm late. I had to wait
01:07:44 It was opening night, and there was a party.
01:07:48 You can tell me why you only brought two chairs.
01:07:52 - Well, yes, I tried, but...
01:07:56 - [Gasping]
01:08:00 - Shh. Come on. You're gonna ruin everything.
01:08:05 What's the matter with you people?
01:08:09 What happened
01:08:12 There is a thief
01:08:14 It's terrible.
01:08:16 He sold the chair to a Finnish aerialist
01:08:19 A Finnish aerialist?
01:08:22 Yes. He works at the fair,
01:08:26 - Can I have my 30 rubles now, please?
01:08:29 - [Growling]
01:08:32 Twenty. Twenty. Twenty.
01:08:35 Shh. Shh. Shh.
01:08:37 - Again the throat.
01:08:42 Twenty. Thank you.
01:08:45 Tell me, why are you
01:08:48 - Shut up.
01:08:52 Bye.
01:09:17 [Sighs]
01:09:22 Well, don't give up,
01:09:26 Remember the famous
01:09:29 "The hungrier you get,
01:09:33 On the other hand,
01:09:36 Merde.!
01:09:41 Thy love will banish sorrow
01:09:45 Thy love shall cleanse
01:09:49 The sun
01:09:54 My a-a-a-a-anguish
01:10:00 Will be brief
01:10:03 Oh, foolish man.
01:10:07 Foolish, foolish
01:10:10 I must not weep.
01:10:14 My blessings.
01:10:16 [Laughing]
01:10:24 I don't want to live!
01:10:31 Ooh.
01:10:33 Ooh-ooh-ooh!
01:10:36 [Sighs]
01:10:38 Thy love shall banish sorrow
01:10:42 Thy love
01:10:47 [Carnival Band]
01:10:50 [Chattering]
01:11:02 - [Drumroll]
01:11:09 [Audience Gasps]
01:11:18 Come down, you thief!
01:11:20 Come down here
01:11:23 That's my chair!
01:11:25 My chair!
01:11:28 [Audience Gasps]
01:11:30 Listen, you!
01:11:34 Get down, you fool!
01:11:41 I want that chair.
01:11:45 [Audience Gasps]
01:11:47 [Carnival Music Resumes]
01:12:04 [Chattering]
01:12:27 [Whimpering]
01:12:29 Oh, Lord.
01:12:32 Oh, Lord,
01:12:36 Please help me.
01:12:40 Thank you.
01:12:54 [Screams]
01:12:56 It's mine! Do you hear?
01:12:59 Mine! Mine!
01:13:01 Very nice.
01:13:04 A partner in the firm...
01:13:07 running off with
01:13:11 [Yelling]
01:13:13 So you wanna play horsey, huh?
01:13:16 Mine! Mine! Mine!
01:13:19 [Both Grunting]
01:13:26 Father Fyodor!
01:13:56 - Need a hand, mon père?
01:14:00 [Panting, Whimpering]
01:14:08 [Laughing]
01:14:16 [Laughs]
01:14:20 - Where is he?
01:14:23 Yah, yah, yah!
01:14:26 Yah, yah, yah!
01:14:29 Ah, hate! Hate! Hate!
01:14:33 [Fyodor Chuckles]
01:14:35 God sees.
01:14:37 Why do you think
01:14:40 to climb straight up a mountain wall
01:14:43 There must be some reason.
01:14:46 Oh, God, how I hate him!
01:14:49 He mustn't get away!
01:14:52 He mustn't get...
01:14:55 Fear not,
01:14:58 He will not get away.
01:15:00 As a matter of fact,
01:15:03 There's no way down. Come on.
01:15:10 See? No way down.
01:15:17 [Chuckling]
01:15:20 He can't get down.
01:15:23 He's trapped.
01:15:26 You're tra-a-a-apped!
01:15:29 - Yah, yah, yah! Yah, yah, yah!
01:15:32 Yah, yah, yah, yah...
01:15:35 [Grunting]
01:15:46 Ah. It stopped raining.
01:15:50 It's very quiet.
01:15:56 Do you think
01:15:58 Shh, shh, shh.
01:16:01 the jury will bring in
01:16:05 Oh, Lord,
01:16:10 Tsk.
01:16:12 Well, the last chair
01:16:15 [Fyodor Sobbing]
01:16:17 Only 3,000 miles away.
01:16:21 Come, my friend.
01:16:25 [Sobbing Continues]
01:16:28 Oh, Lord,
01:16:32 [Gasping]
01:16:39 How did I get here?
01:16:45 [Panting]
01:16:48 There's no way down.
01:16:50 There's absolutely
01:16:54 I'm gonna need a great deal
01:16:57 [Panting Continues]
01:17:01 Boys! Oh, boys!
01:17:06 Yoo-hoo.! Vorobyaninov.!
01:17:10 I have always liked you.
01:17:14 We come
01:17:17 For 25 years,
01:17:22 Oh, for Christ's sake,
01:17:31 Get... me... down.!
01:19:30 [Train Whistle Blowing]
01:19:51 - I'm hungry.
01:19:55 Look around.
01:20:02 - [Brass Band: "The International"]
01:20:08 [Continues]
01:20:20 I now officially open...
01:20:23 the Moscow Railway Workers'...
01:20:26 Communal House of Recreation.
01:20:31 [Resumes]
01:20:39 [Continues]
01:20:43 [Applause]
01:20:51 May it serve to comfort...
01:20:55 those brave heroes
01:20:58 the railway workers
01:21:02 [Applause]
01:21:07 A free buffet lunch will
01:21:12 [All Cheering]
01:21:19 [Excited Chattering]
01:21:24 [Man]
01:21:27 [Shouting Continues]
01:21:30 Let's go!
01:21:37 What are you doing?
01:21:40 [Shouting Continues]
01:21:44 I didn't get a roll.
01:21:47 [Shouting Continues]
01:22:05 Here.
01:22:26 Would you mind very much
01:22:29 I didn't get a chance
01:22:32 There was a greedy pig
01:22:37 Animal.
01:22:42 [Spitting]
01:22:47 Thirsty.
01:23:24 Ostap. Ostap!
01:23:28 Yes, old man.
01:23:31 The last chair.
01:23:44 See! We are not
01:23:49 Hello, comrades!
01:23:52 Hello. Hello, comrades.
01:24:02 [Growls]
01:24:06 Eat.
01:24:11 Take your eyes
01:24:13 I'm gonna check
01:24:26 [Man]
01:24:29 [Clicks]
01:24:41 I have unfastened
01:24:44 and we will return tonight
01:24:54 Shh.
01:25:20 One, two, three!
01:25:23 - Come on.
01:25:26 Come on!
01:25:40 - Chair. Where is the chair?
01:25:43 Here. Let me do it.
01:26:02 Well? Well, well,
01:26:08 - They're not here.
01:26:12 They're not here.
01:26:15 The jewels are not here.
01:26:20 It can't be.
01:26:24 It can't be. Do you hear me?
01:26:29 [Door Opens]
01:26:32 What's going on here?
01:26:36 What are you doing?
01:26:38 Where are my jewels?
01:26:42 They were your jewels?
01:26:45 What do you mean "were"?
01:26:49 Are my jewels.
01:26:52 Where are they?
01:26:55 See these chess tables,
01:26:59 This club was built
01:27:02 When were they found?
01:27:04 Four months ago.
01:27:08 Kaminsky was putting up
01:27:11 He was standing on a chair.
01:27:13 Suddenly, bang, his shoe
01:27:17 and all that stuff
01:27:19 diamonds, rubies,
01:27:23 It was a miracle.
01:27:28 No, no.
01:27:33 Mine.
01:27:44 [Screaming]
01:27:47 - [Shouting]
01:27:51 Help.! Police.! Help.!
01:28:00 - See? See? He's mad!
01:28:04 Oh, you wanna play rough, eh?
01:28:08 That has done it.
01:28:12 Come on.
01:28:15 Never hit a policeman.
01:28:17 Never, ever
01:28:40 Halt!
01:28:42 - It's too high.
01:28:44 - The horse?
01:28:46 - Come on.
01:28:49 - Come on!
01:28:51 [Horse Neighs]
01:30:14 [Blowing]
01:30:23 [Sighs]
01:30:26 Why don't you
01:30:34 Listen, old man.
01:30:37 We have got to split up.
01:30:43 It's the only
01:30:46 The police are looking for
01:30:49 and a crazy old man
01:30:52 I think I'll do
01:30:57 Look, what are you
01:30:59 I'm not taking a vote.
01:31:02 This partnership is over,
01:31:05 The company is bankrupt.
01:31:10 Look. Here.
01:31:15 Three kopecks!
01:31:17 How far can we go together
01:31:20 I simply can't
01:31:59 [Grunts]
01:32:01 [Chair Crashes]
01:32:03 [Crowd Murmuring]
01:32:08 [Murmuring Continues]
01:32:16 [Chattering]
01:32:38 Epilepsy, my friends!
01:32:42 The same disease
01:32:45 our own beloved Dostoievsky.
01:32:48 Give.
01:32:50 Give...
01:32:53 from the bottom of your hearts.