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Under The Yum Yum Tree en
00:02:38	David, that tickles, darling.
00:02:41	- You know what drives me crazy?
00:02:43	Time we're wasting.
00:02:46	Robin, marry me. Will you?
00:02:50	David, we've been all through that.
00:02:53	- by over-stimulated glands.
00:02:55	But, David, I want to marry you out of love,
00:02:59	deep, real and absolute.
00:03:02	I don't want to be carried away by my own
00:03:06	When the temperatures cooled down,
00:03:09	Corroded hopes, unfulfilled dreams,
00:03:12	- Well, no, thanks. Not for me.
00:03:15	That's why the plan we've worked out
00:03:18	To live together without sleeping together.
00:03:20	Why, it's an absolutely brilliant way
00:03:23	It's crazy. Honey, you're asking
00:03:26	without any problems whatsoever,
00:03:28	- Well, for Pete's sake, we can try.
00:03:30	- You're...
00:03:33	We find out if we have real
00:03:36	to see if we fulfill each other's
00:03:38	- Now, David, you agreed.
00:03:42	Now, honey, I'm going along with this thing
00:03:45	but that doesn't alter the fact
00:03:49	Who ever heard of normal,
00:03:51	- living together in such a nutty setup?
00:03:53	All right, all right.
00:03:56	Then it's all settled? Oh, David!
00:03:59	- All I have to do now is find an apartment.
00:04:03	Nobody goes out around here
00:04:05	I have married friends
00:04:06	Don't worry about it.
00:04:09	- You will find an apartment.
00:04:13	We're all dying to know how it works out.
00:04:16	Do you know that
00:04:18	to keep my parents from finding out?
00:04:20	They'd go screaming berserk
00:04:23	Your toothbrush hanging right by Dave's,
00:04:26	It sounds so deliciously illicit.
00:04:35	May I say, I don't think the divorce rate
00:04:39	- of disharmony and discord.
00:04:41	Well, think of all the thousands of
00:04:45	People just go on living together
00:04:47	I agree with Ardice.
00:04:50	is because kids get married
00:04:53	They think it's love, but it's really
00:04:56	Exactly.
00:04:58	Kids go start necking,
00:05:01	There has to be a courtship.
00:05:03	A boy and girl have got
00:05:05	In the front seat of a parked car?
00:05:07	God, when you're so busy necking,
00:05:12	- Try taking notes.
00:05:16	All right.
00:05:18	Tomorrow, the first four chapters of
00:05:22	edited by Dr. Victor Eisenstein.
00:05:24	That's all for today.
00:05:32	Bye-bye, Irene.
00:05:34	Robin, there was a call for you yesterday
00:05:36	- Did you get it?
00:05:38	She wants to know if you're coming up
00:05:41	I meant to write. I'll take care of it.
00:05:43	Irene, can I ask you
00:05:46	- Why, as your teacher or your aunt?
00:05:49	Before you married Uncle Frank, did you...
00:05:53	- Did I what?
00:05:56	Well, I was hoping I was mistaken.
00:05:58	I'm not passing moral judgment.
00:06:01	- You know, Dave and I haven't.
00:06:05	Robin, sometimes you can be unnerving.
00:06:08	I just don't want to make the same mistake
00:06:11	I want my marriage to work.
00:06:14	Could we discuss it another time?
00:06:18	Translate the passages of Homer
00:06:21	Charles.
00:06:23	Hi. Listen, I've got two whole free periods
00:06:26	- Sure it's not inconveniencing you?
00:06:29	Hi. Move? Who's moving?
00:06:30	Dr. Howard has kindly consented
00:06:33	- From that divine apartment? Why?
00:06:35	I'll tell you all about
00:06:39	Irene, has anyone got your apartment yet?
00:06:50	Today's the day, huh, Miss Wilson?
00:06:51	No, my friend will help me.
00:06:56	- I never realized how much I collected.
00:07:04	Look at this place. Terrible, terrible.
00:07:09	Hey, I had no idea. This is charming.
00:07:12	- A lot of people find it quite pleasant.
00:07:15	I don't know. Moving time, I guess.
00:07:17	Those two are ready.
00:07:19	All right. Well, I suppose
00:07:21	- No, just $75 a month.
00:07:24	Well, that is unbelievable.
00:07:27	Yes, I guess it is pretty good.
00:07:30	Would you just
00:07:32	And you want to move out. I don't get it.
00:07:35	I don't understand. $75 a month.
00:08:17	- Sorry to be late, darling.
00:08:21	Now, don't you get me started,
00:08:22	Fine time to bring a working man his lunch.
00:08:26	I spent the whole morning
00:08:28	- Big deal.
00:08:29	you could hang the pajamas up
00:08:33	- And that bathroom!
00:08:36	There's a nice combination
00:08:38	Shaving cream and old razor blades
00:08:42	Excuse me, please.
00:08:47	- Who's that?
00:08:49	- Helping her move.
00:08:52	I want to go and say goodbye to her.
00:08:55	Hogan sure gets a nice turnover here.
00:08:58	Beats the heck out of marriage.
00:09:00	- Find a nice place to live?
00:09:04	Well, bye. Sure going to miss you.
00:09:32	Hey, Dorkus. A beautiful morning, huh?
00:09:34	It's 2:30 in the afternoon,
00:09:37	So it is. Well, it's all a question
00:09:39	Some of us are day people,
00:09:42	The mind shudders at what you do
00:09:46	Literally shudders.
00:10:02	Is that your breakfast?
00:10:04	I feel sorry for people
00:10:06	because when they get up in the morning,
00:10:10	Hey, say, did Irene happen to say
00:10:16	What time she was moving her things out?
00:10:17	- I want to see her before she goes.
00:10:20	- She's over there loading up right now.
00:10:27	Anybody home?
00:10:41	Well, hi, there.
00:10:44	I was wondering
00:10:46	Say, now, you didn't think
00:10:48	without even a fare-thee-well, did you?
00:10:51	- Of course not.
00:10:53	You know,
00:10:54	- Yes, I know.
00:10:56	- The window box is empty.
00:10:59	Well, it's somehow fitting.
00:11:02	Don't pull that unhappy
00:11:04	I'm really touched.
00:11:06	Hey, you're not really seriously taking
00:11:09	I love this thing. He's dear and sweet.
00:11:11	Look at that face.
00:11:13	I'm gonna take him with me everywhere
00:11:17	You're taking this kind of lightly,
00:11:19	Hogan, it's over.
00:11:20	So why don't you be a big boy
00:11:23	Yeah, well, aren't you the least bit upset?
00:11:27	- No.
00:11:29	- Just a teeny weenie bit?
00:11:32	You'd walk out of here
00:11:35	Self-protection, darling.
00:11:37	Every woman has a little bit of it
00:11:39	Now, wait a minute.
00:11:41	- For heaven's sake, I told you, I am not mad!
00:11:44	I just didn't realize
00:11:47	You meant a great deal to me.
00:11:49	I was pretty much of a wreck
00:11:51	My marriage was on the rocks
00:11:54	You filled my lonely hours
00:11:57	You put zest in my life and started
00:12:03	Well, there must be
00:12:05	You make me sound like
00:12:08	- Sorry.
00:12:10	how come you're walking out?
00:12:11	Because I don't envision my future
00:12:14	shuttling back and forth
00:12:16	- You're mad?
00:12:18	Come on, out!
00:12:20	- Catharsis!
00:12:22	Hogan, it is over.
00:12:25	So why don't you just shut up
00:12:28	- You're mad.
00:12:30	This is Dr. Howard,
00:12:32	- Mr. Hogan, my landlord.
00:12:35	- And you're from...
00:12:37	Yeah. Well, it's a very nice place
00:12:40	Well, thank you.
00:12:42	- that she shouldn't give it up.
00:12:45	Charles, I think these things
00:12:47	All right. Listen, Irene, this trip
00:12:51	- You don't mind making another?
00:12:53	- Have you got room for one more?
00:12:56	Don't bother to help, Hogan. It's all right.
00:12:58	- Let me get the door for you.
00:13:12	Well, goodbye.
00:13:14	- Just like that?
00:13:17	Key to the apartment.
00:13:21	Well...
00:13:24	Well, I had that made especially for you.
00:13:26	It's just a little favor to ask,
00:13:29	Perhaps, now and then,
00:14:21	Mr. Hogan, sir.
00:14:23	This bearing's gone haywire
00:14:26	and Miss Struman's complaining
00:14:28	- I thought you'd like to know.
00:14:31	You're gonna have to take these things
00:14:33	I got other problems on my mind, you know.
00:14:35	- Very taxing.
00:14:36	- Hi, lover. How are you?
00:14:39	- Good. Where was I, Murph?
00:14:41	- Would you take care of them for me?
00:14:43	You just save your energies.
00:14:45	I got the flowers. They're just beautiful.
00:14:48	- Thank you.
00:14:50	- But it's embarrassing, Hogey.
00:14:52	I mean, you keep sending me those flowers,
00:14:55	Well, I'll be around
00:14:57	You can go easy on that oil,
00:15:05	Cover up, it's peeping Tom,
00:15:08	Thank you, Hogey.
00:15:11	I always say,
00:15:15	- Bye.
00:15:21	- Hi, Hogan.
00:15:49	Hey, buddy!
00:15:51	Apartment for rent?
00:15:54	Well, you're looking at him, son,
00:15:56	That's a rule of the house.
00:15:58	I know how wild you kids can get.
00:16:00	Now, wait a minute, sir. I'm not like that.
00:16:03	I'm on the track team.
00:16:06	The worst kind.
00:16:08	Pole-vaulting, high hurdling around here.
00:16:11	It's all elderly,
00:16:14	Yeah, chess and checkers group,
00:16:17	- Besides, you couldn't afford the rent.
00:16:19	- $450 a month.
00:16:20	I didn't think you could.
00:16:29	Up in Miss Wilson's.
00:16:35	- Can I help you with anything?
00:16:38	- No, I'm the landlord.
00:16:40	- Yeah. I live right across...
00:16:42	- Well, thank you.
00:16:44	as soon as I heard it was vacated.
00:16:45	It just slays me every time I see it.
00:16:48	- You've been here before?
00:16:52	Well, you're the niece
00:16:55	I can't understand
00:16:57	It's absolutely dream...
00:17:00	Don't let that bother you. It sounds like
00:17:02	- It's just the pipes clearing their throats.
00:17:06	It doesn't bother me at all.
00:17:09	Does it have linen and pots and pans
00:17:12	- Oh, yeah, sure, everything.
00:17:14	- And everything's just in the right place.
00:17:20	You know, I'm a very bad businesswoman,
00:17:23	- Why?
00:17:26	- $75 a month.
00:17:29	- Too much?
00:17:32	I mean, well, $75 is a lot of money for me,
00:17:35	- but I certainly think it's worth it.
00:17:39	And may I have it, please?
00:17:41	Well, don't you think, first, we should know
00:17:44	Well, how do you do, Mr. Hogan?
00:17:47	Robin Austin.
00:17:49	None of my tenants ever call me "mister. "
00:17:51	- Do you? That's very nice.
00:17:53	Do you want to see references
00:17:57	- You've already shown me your references.
00:18:01	No, that won't be necessary.
00:18:02	We'll get to those nasty little details,
00:18:06	- You mean, that's it?
00:18:09	There you are. There's the key,
00:18:11	What an adorable key.
00:18:16	Oh, my...
00:18:20	I forgot to tell you something.
00:18:26	- Now, wait a minute...
00:18:28	please don't spoil everything.
00:18:31	My word of honor. Please.
00:18:32	Yes, I know, you see, but I can't.
00:18:34	I mean, I've never had
00:18:39	- What does your roommate look like?
00:18:44	very attractive, and dark hair.
00:18:48	Well, it might not be too bad
00:18:52	I mean, two of you is just twice
00:18:57	- Then it's okay?
00:19:00	Well, thank you very much, Mr. Hogan.
00:19:02	And I'm sure we're going to be
00:19:04	Aren't we ever.
00:19:06	- Yes, you said that before.
00:19:08	Well, I'm going to dash home
00:19:09	I want to move in right away.
00:19:12	Not "mister," just "Hogan. "
00:19:14	And don't you forget, if I can help
00:19:16	- why, you just knock on that door.
00:19:18	Bye-bye. Sweet thing.
00:19:23	Mind your own business.
00:19:25	Bye-bye.
00:19:26	Bye-bye.
00:19:28	It's so exciting.
00:19:35	- Hi.
00:19:37	Hi, David.
00:19:40	- Something wrong?
00:19:46	Boy, these really smell good.
00:19:49	The jonquils are in bloom again.
00:19:52	Mother Nature
00:19:55	Say, speaking of replenishing,
00:19:59	- Yeah, how about that?
00:20:00	- That's right.
00:20:02	That's right.
00:20:05	I like his style.
00:20:11	I hate to see you go, Miss Wilson.
00:20:14	- No, no, thank you, Murphy. Bye-bye.
00:20:25	Robin!
00:20:28	Hi, Irene. How are you? I didn't see you.
00:20:30	Well, for heaven's sakes,
00:20:32	I was going to call you and tell you
00:20:35	- What do you mean, "got" it?
00:20:38	- You're moving out of the sorority house?
00:20:41	- Did you tell your mother?
00:20:44	You know Mother would never agree
00:20:47	She can't get used to the idea
00:20:49	Look, Irene, I'm dying to move in.
00:20:51	So why don't you come over tomorrow
00:20:54	And remember, not a word to Mother.
00:20:57	Bye-bye.
00:21:10	- What's wrong?
00:21:13	I hope.
00:21:21	What do you think?
00:21:23	- 75 bucks a month!
00:21:26	Well, yeah, but it's worth more than that.
00:21:27	- You sure your landlord didn't say $175?
00:21:32	It's crazy.
00:21:34	Who cares? It's mine and it's beautiful.
00:21:36	Aren't you going to bring up
00:21:39	The bed. Rob, I tell you,
00:21:43	You know, appearances and everything.
00:21:45	- Yeah.
00:21:48	75 bucks a month.
00:21:51	Your landlord must have rocks in his head.
00:21:55	Well, there it is. The oven's set at 300,
00:22:00	Lovely, lovely.
00:22:02	I don't approve of this kind of goings-on,
00:22:05	- so I'll keep my mouth shut.
00:22:07	Except I know what you've got in your mind.
00:22:09	You're not fooling me for one minute
00:22:13	Gee whiz, there you go again.
00:22:15	Inviting those girls next door
00:22:19	I'm just trying to be friendly.
00:22:23	Sure. Some welcome.
00:22:29	Dorkus, what are you doing?
00:22:31	Dorkus, will you cut it out, please?
00:22:34	Now, come on.
00:22:35	Dorkus, will you cut that...
00:22:40	Stop playing with my controls.
00:22:44	- Now, I'm warning you...
00:22:47	- I'm ready, honey. Evening, Hogan.
00:22:49	That wife of yours, boy!
00:22:51	Wow! You sure got yourself
00:22:55	Makes me wish
00:22:57	Yeah, well, good judgment.
00:22:58	Have yourself a drink
00:23:01	Thanks, buddy.
00:23:14	Boy, could I operate with a setup like this.
00:23:29	You marvelous creature, you.
00:23:34	No, no, from the very beginning,
00:23:39	- And take it real slow.
00:23:43	- What are you doing?
00:23:46	- Come on, we're going home.
00:24:05	- Hello.
00:24:07	I'm the housekeeper for Hogan.
00:24:11	- The name is Dorkus.
00:24:13	- I'm Robin Austin.
00:24:15	If you ever need anything, just call on me.
00:24:17	Well, that's very nice of you. Thank you.
00:24:19	- Is your roommate around?
00:24:21	getting some things out of the car.
00:24:24	Well, I probably ought to keep
00:24:27	but you appear to be
00:24:31	- It's about your landlord.
00:24:35	- What about him?
00:24:38	And he's very active in certain fields.
00:24:41	They say this is the age of specialization,
00:24:47	I'm afraid I don't follow.
00:24:48	Well, I guess what I'm trying to tell you
00:24:51	in this apartment before you,
00:24:55	- Him?
00:24:56	Well, there's no accounting
00:24:59	Well, the point is, he's under the distinct
00:25:03	- Did he say that?
00:25:06	but I know he's thinking it.
00:25:09	He is really a sneaking, crawling,
00:25:15	Well, thanks for tipping me off, Dorkus,
00:25:18	- I can take care of myself.
00:25:21	Warn your roommate.
00:25:24	Dorkus... Or is it Mrs. Dorkus, or...
00:25:27	- Murphy.
00:25:29	Mrs. Murphy, this is Dave Manning.
00:25:32	- She works for Mr. Hogan.
00:25:36	How do you...
00:25:38	No, no, no, that's not for me. You see...
00:25:40	Honey, she's bound to find out
00:25:43	Yeah. Well, then,
00:25:45	- I'd like to explain our arrangement, Mrs...
00:25:48	Don't say another word.
00:25:50	There's no need to explain.
00:25:53	My blessings on you both.
00:25:55	- It's not like that...
00:26:01	- Bless you, bless you both. Bye.
00:26:13	Are you in for a surprise tonight.
00:26:17	What's so amusing?
00:26:19	- I'll tell you when we get home.
00:26:34	You inventive little devil, you.
00:26:39	Bye, honey. I'll be back in a second.
00:26:47	Once more into the breach, my boy
00:27:47	Hey, there!
00:27:57	Don't be startled. It's just me, Hogan.
00:28:01	I hope you like them. I grow them myself.
00:28:05	and I do hope that we'll be
00:28:11	- Well, hi, there.
00:28:14	- Hogan. I live across the hall.
00:28:17	Well, give me just a couple of seconds
00:28:20	- Believe me, it isn't easy.
00:28:22	You know, it's a bit of a shock to see you
00:28:25	with a towel wrapped around you
00:28:27	- Well, now, wait a minute, buddy...
00:28:29	a little daintier than you,
00:28:33	Well, now, look here... Who's shocked?
00:28:36	You know, I'm in there shaving,
00:28:38	and suddenly a man brings me flowers.
00:28:40	Yeah, well, I can see the confusion
00:28:42	Well, it certainly does.
00:28:44	- How did you get in here?
00:28:46	No, no, no, the door was not open.
00:28:50	- How'd you get in? What do you want?
00:28:54	- and I dropped in to say welcome, and...
00:28:58	And next time, knock!
00:29:05	- Hi, Hogan.
00:29:07	Hi, I just dashed out to get some groceries.
00:29:09	Here. I thought these might help brighten up
00:29:12	- I grow them myself here.
00:29:14	sweetest person in the world.
00:29:17	- Can I give you a hand with those?
00:29:19	Hey, look, this is... It's kind of awkward.
00:29:21	I guess I'd better just
00:29:23	There's a man in your apartment, there.
00:29:25	Had soap all over his face.
00:29:29	His name is David. Yes.
00:29:31	Well, it's perfectly all right.
00:29:33	You do with it what you want.
00:29:34	I just thought that you should know
00:29:38	- His name is David.
00:29:40	- He seems like a very nice young fellow.
00:29:42	Probably madly in love with you, huh?
00:29:45	- We plan to get married after he graduates.
00:29:48	Incidentally, I had my servant whip up
00:29:50	I thought maybe you and your girlfriend
00:29:52	- Girlfriend?
00:29:56	Well, I appreciate it.
00:29:58	Well, thanks a lot,
00:30:01	Maybe some other evening.
00:30:03	Thanks again for the flowers.
00:30:05	- Good night, Hogan.
00:30:09	- Hello, I'm home.
00:30:12	Hey, listen to this. While you were gone,
00:30:13	some nut from across the hall comes in,
00:30:18	That's one of the things
00:30:20	All right, I'll get a robe.
00:30:22	I don't think either of us should walk
00:30:25	Things are going to be tough enough
00:30:29	Yeah, okay.
00:30:32	this nut from across the way comes in,
00:30:34	That's Hogan. He's our landlord.
00:30:37	Our landlord?
00:30:39	He's a very dear sweet fellow,
00:30:43	- Well, what's he hanging around here for?
00:31:45	- Rob.
00:31:46	I've been giving us some more thought,
00:31:48	and I'm not sure how I feel
00:31:52	Well, that's absolutely charming.
00:31:54	Our first night, we've hardly finished
00:31:58	Yeah, well, now that I've moved in,
00:32:01	Honey, this is an abnormal relationship
00:32:03	- It's not abnormal!
00:32:04	- Why, how can you talk like that?
00:32:12	The whole idea was to live together
00:32:15	I know. I know.
00:32:19	Well, to get to know each other,
00:32:21	to find out if we have real,
00:32:25	to reveal ourselves,
00:32:27	Yeah.
00:32:34	Robin, you're using a lot of big words
00:32:37	Well, if that doesn't make sense...
00:32:38	I mean, "character compatibility"
00:32:40	I know it sounds good, honey,
00:32:41	but ever since I came back to do
00:32:45	We're going steady
00:32:52	In the history of man and woman,
00:32:55	- David, don't make...
00:32:59	This isn't living together, either.
00:33:03	- David...
00:33:06	for crying out loud, let them live together!
00:33:08	Not lying around eating breakfast and
00:33:12	sleeping on cots and things like this...
00:33:22	All right, get away.
00:33:36	Get out!
00:33:39	You're in the... Go on, get out!
00:33:47	Come on, get out of there, please.
00:34:09	- Now, that's what we agreed to, wasn't it?
00:34:12	- We didn't make love before, Dave.
00:34:16	Well, this will be just the same,
00:34:21	No, it's not the same, Robin.
00:34:23	Before, when I left you, I could go home
00:34:24	and ease my tortured body
00:34:27	So shower here.
00:34:28	Oh, yeah, with you rustling around
00:34:30	I'll spend every waking hour
00:34:34	- I admit the plan has a few flaws.
00:34:36	Well, I'll go along with you there.
00:34:38	Well, what about me? I'm subject
00:34:41	- No, you're not. No, you're...
00:34:43	Well, you're not! Women have had centuries
00:34:46	Well, if you're going to be flip about it,
00:34:50	Now don't be touchy about it, Robin.
00:34:51	You're always going to make it look like
00:34:54	Will you just hold your voice down
00:34:56	- All I said was...
00:34:58	- I didn't break anything.
00:35:00	- I was standing here, calmly trying to...
00:35:03	That's what I should have known.
00:35:05	You're turning into
00:35:07	Well, look, why don't we just
00:35:09	- Why not?
00:35:10	- Well, go ahead.
00:35:12	if you want to be that way about it, okay.
00:35:15	- Goodbye!
00:35:18	Goodbye!
00:35:21	Dave!
00:35:24	Dave, I'm sorry!
00:35:32	I forgot I wasn't dressed.
00:35:34	Oh, dear.
00:35:37	I'm sorry. I shouldn't argue like that.
00:35:42	- It was my fault, anyway.
00:35:45	Come on. Come on back.
00:35:48	Oh, no...
00:35:57	- I had no right to be angry.
00:36:01	I made a bargain,
00:36:04	- You forgive me?
00:36:14	We'll probably have to cut
00:36:18	Yeah. We don't want to go down in defeat
00:36:24	Listen, let's do something symbolic.
00:36:28	- Like what?
00:36:31	- A toothbrush?
00:36:35	Toothbrush.
00:36:54	Oh, my...
00:37:02	There.
00:37:04	With this toothbrush, I do thee wed.
00:37:07	Aren't they adorable? Side by side.
00:37:11	A position forbidden to us.
00:37:14	Well, I think it's about time
00:37:19	- Separately.
00:37:22	Yeah.
00:37:24	- When do you like to take a shower?
00:37:27	Me, too. But I'll take mornings.
00:37:28	- No, no, it makes no difference to me.
00:37:30	I don't think that's such a good idea.
00:37:32	All we'd have to do is get the schedule
00:37:35	True. And that'd be the end
00:37:37	- Yeah.
00:37:53	Cover up, I'm coming through.
00:38:47	Hi, there. Did I scare you?
00:38:50	- How do you keep getting in here?
00:38:52	You gotta watch that. Yeah, Hogan.
00:38:54	Yeah, I know you live across the way.
00:38:56	- I happen to own the building.
00:38:58	- As the landlord, I have certain rights.
00:39:01	Do you know it's 10:00 at night?
00:39:04	Listen, can I speak to you as a friend?
00:39:06	- No, no, you may not.
00:39:08	You don't have to be nice to me
00:39:11	and have the right to evict you
00:39:14	- Excuse me, I have to...
00:39:16	You know, I've been mulling this situation.
00:39:17	Now, as I get it,
00:39:19	on a sort of connubial, non-conjugal basis,
00:39:23	What'd she do,
00:39:26	Don't be silly. I eavesdrop.
00:39:27	It seems to me what we have before us...
00:39:29	Now, wait just a minute.
00:39:32	You gotta keep an eye on me, boy.
00:39:36	- Yeah, well...
00:39:37	that what you have before you
00:39:39	is a very highly-efficient piece
00:39:42	Miss Robin Austin.
00:39:44	Young, very good manners, devoted
00:39:48	and kind to old ladies and animals
00:39:50	But she is blossoming into
00:39:53	Well, I hate to mention this,
00:39:57	Well, that doesn't matter
00:39:58	because there wasn't any water
00:40:00	See what I mean?
00:40:02	Here she is, blossoming,
00:40:05	that very properly, a young girl forgoes
00:40:09	any of the unmentionable
00:40:12	You know what I mean?
00:40:13	Yeah. And you're leaving.
00:40:16	I don't care if you are the landlord...
00:40:18	- I have more experience.
00:40:20	The kid's impetuous.
00:40:23	All right, let's just look at it as if
00:40:26	- Out!
00:40:29	- Honey, who are you talking to?
00:40:32	How pretty you look
00:40:35	What?
00:40:37	- Where is Dave?
00:40:40	I wonder who that could be at this hour.
00:40:42	- Well, what are you doing out there?
00:40:45	Honey, I want you to meet our landlord,
00:40:47	- Yeah, we've met.
00:40:50	David, please, take your hands off him!
00:40:52	David, really. I'm terribly sorry.
00:40:57	Actually, I thought it might be a nice time
00:40:59	for all of us to discuss
00:41:01	- What new clauses?
00:41:04	You led me to believe another girl
00:41:07	- I can explain that, really.
00:41:10	It's just you do understand
00:41:13	in the lease due to the unorthodox nature
00:41:17	- Well, it's all perfectly proper.
00:41:19	I know that, and you know it,
00:41:22	but does Captain Fogarty
00:41:24	- Vice squad?
00:41:27	Well, fortunately, I found a solution.
00:41:29	I just put you down
00:41:32	- What?
00:41:33	and Alma Hammerschlod.
00:41:37	Well, Hogan, I really think
00:41:40	You see... Well, let me tell you
00:41:43	Now, wait a minute, honey.
00:41:45	Why don't you just run back upstairs
00:41:49	Well, he is the landlord.
00:41:52	Believe me, he wouldn't even notice.
00:41:55	Well, if you two gentlemen
00:41:58	- Yeah, fine.
00:42:01	Good night, you sweet thing.
00:42:03	Good night.
00:42:05	You sleep tight and undisturbed, I hope.
00:42:09	Okay, Hogan, now let's clear the air, huh?
00:42:13	Let's get everything
00:42:15	What is this little game?
00:42:21	Heart murmur.
00:42:25	- Let's talk, man to man.
00:42:26	Now, do you really, honestly,
00:42:29	with that absolutely,
00:42:32	and never even consider yum-yum?
00:42:36	- What are you talking about?
00:42:38	- Yeah, yeah, Delta Chi.
00:42:42	- Come on. Come on.
00:42:44	- I don't keep up in it, you know.
00:42:46	A fellow Delta! Now, how about that!
00:42:49	How wonderful to have a brother living
00:42:52	- Now, I'm honor bound to tell you.
00:42:55	- Well, this arrangement will never work.
00:42:58	Friend, you... Brother.
00:43:01	Well, deep down where you live,
00:43:05	- you know it's impossible.
00:43:07	With that gorgeous, undulating creature
00:43:11	Separated only by the gossamer-thin line
00:43:15	- Well, not in one million years.
00:43:17	- She trusts me, you know.
00:43:21	- What's that?
00:43:23	Exercise?
00:43:24	Well, down through the ages,
00:43:25	the only known substitute for sex
00:43:28	Well, take athletes.
00:43:31	- Yeah.
00:43:32	It all goes onto the playing field.
00:43:35	Why do you think that schools
00:43:38	- Well, I guess it's...
00:43:40	down to a minimum.
00:43:42	I never thought too much about that.
00:43:44	You got any barbells
00:43:46	- or medicine balls, or any of that stuff?
00:43:48	Well, that's your only hope.
00:43:50	I suggest that you just wear yourself out
00:43:54	with the pushups and the sit-ups
00:43:57	Every time that your little thoughts
00:44:02	- Push up! Yeah, that's the only solution.
00:44:04	- Dave, is he gone?
00:44:07	Thanks a lot, Hogan. I
00:44:08	- Well, what are you doing, boy?
00:44:10	- Well, I'm not through yet.
00:44:33	Honey, let me help you with that.
00:44:35	- I meant to do it.
00:44:36	No, no, no, no. That's woman's work.
00:44:49	Well, I just thought this arrangement
00:44:52	- during the difficult hours.
00:44:56	It might be a little inconvenient, but I
00:45:00	- down to a minimum, don't you?
00:45:04	- I would...
00:45:06	It's my fault.
00:45:08	That's one of the things
00:45:11	Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:45:14	- Rob, I tell you what I was thinking...
00:45:23	Rob.
00:45:26	Come here. Come here.
00:45:34	Good night.
00:46:33	Get out! Get off of there!
00:46:45	Dave, what's that noise?
00:46:48	Nothing, Rob. You wouldn't understand.
00:46:50	Good night, Rob.
00:47:00	Thirty seconds after blast off,
00:47:02	the rocket had cleared its primary entry
00:47:05	Astronaut Mitchell says
00:47:08	and the view is spectacular.
00:47:10	- Take these, and get off my back.
00:47:18	- Good morning, Murphy.
00:47:21	- I'll get it for you, Miss Page.
00:47:24	Looks like you run out of material.
00:47:26	Murph!
00:47:27	We were just talking about
00:47:39	Mr. Hogan!
00:47:46	- Here, take my handkerchief.
00:47:47	- What?
00:47:49	I'll get rid of her, Mr. Hogan.
00:47:52	Come on, let's get you dry.
00:47:56	I don't want to ask you now,
00:47:58	I'd sure love to hear about last night.
00:48:00	After a nice hot shower and a little rest,
00:48:07	- What happened to him?
00:48:10	- Must have been a heck of a party last night.
00:48:13	Man, he's really living.
00:48:17	- Well, okay.
00:48:18	- What?
00:48:19	Love you.
00:48:22	Mr. Architect,
00:48:24	- I gotta be cracking up.
00:48:25	Yeah, okay.
00:48:27	Positive. I have a lot of things
00:48:29	I want to stock the kitchen properly,
00:48:32	And I want to cook you the most
00:48:36	- Okay. So long.
00:48:40	One more time.
00:48:53	Maybe I'll stay home
00:48:54	David, go to school.
00:49:07	Yes. Well, you know, we have to work out
00:49:09	and all of that sort of thing.
00:49:12	Hi, Irene.
00:49:14	Do you want some coffee
00:49:16	Robin, I'm not going to waste time
00:49:18	I saw David Manning leave just now.
00:49:22	Now, wait, it's not like that at all.
00:49:25	Yes! On a perfectly proper basis.
00:49:30	Way up there. My, my, that's all of 20 feet.
00:49:34	We're living together platonically
00:49:39	- Character compatibility?
00:49:43	Well, you're a grown girl now,
00:49:46	- What have we done?
00:49:53	- You mean he really sleeps here?
00:49:57	And David goes along
00:49:59	Why, he's absolutely aligned with me
00:50:02	in this noble and beautiful experiment
00:50:08	Sometimes, I think my students
00:50:15	You know what I said,
00:50:16	- Miss Wilson!
00:50:18	- Good morning, Dorkus.
00:50:20	- Well, don't worry about me, Irene. Okay?
00:50:22	- I'll see you later.
00:50:25	What can I tell you?
00:50:27	Is Hogan around?
00:50:29	He went to the barber shop.
00:50:32	- Love it.
00:50:34	Well, what I was worried about,
00:50:35	was Robin living next door to Hogan.
00:50:37	Shows what kind
00:50:39	- Why shouldn't you?
00:50:44	jealous and all those horrible female things
00:50:48	Why, just because I moved out,
00:50:50	should I think that Hogan
00:50:53	Why indeed.
00:50:55	You know, I think I understand Hogan now.
00:50:58	You know what he is?
00:50:59	A poor, lost, lonely little boy
00:51:02	who looked for love
00:51:05	You know, for a college professor,
00:51:09	No, no, no, no, that's one thing I do know.
00:51:13	I majored in it.
00:51:15	And Hogan is a child.
00:51:18	You know what it is? It's a playpen.
00:51:23	And that dear little gorilla doll
00:51:26	That's the gift of a poor, lost,
00:51:32	Before I throw up, and I may,
00:51:35	let me show you what Hogan majored in.
00:51:37	- Majored in?
00:51:39	Here's the poor, lost, lonely boy's
00:51:44	Hogan's private zoo.
00:51:47	There you are.
00:51:50	For a 39-cent gorilla,
00:51:53	- "Beautiful relationship. "
00:51:55	we have his private key shop.
00:51:59	Anybody for heart-shaped keys?
00:52:02	My very own key. "Think of me. "
00:52:05	Let us do a little history of this
00:52:10	I came to work for him about 1959.
00:52:13	That was the year
00:52:16	- She was a stripper in a beer joint.
00:52:18	Then there was Cheryl.
00:52:23	- Cheryl?
00:52:25	- Elise?
00:52:28	- Gretchen?
00:52:30	Sybil Jane?
00:52:44	Why, Irene, honey, what a pleasant surprise.
00:52:54	- What was that all about?
00:52:57	Josie, Betty Jane, Monique,
00:53:00	I could just brain you!
00:53:02	Well, as I... Before you, dear,
00:53:05	I mean, I was a bachelor
00:53:08	How utterly convenient.
00:53:11	- Beats walking the streets.
00:53:15	"Your very own red key, think only of me. "
00:53:18	Darn you! Darn you! Darn you! Darn you!
00:53:20	- What are you so mad at?
00:53:23	- Nothing at all!
00:53:26	like a gentleman. I did not go
00:53:30	creating a ridiculous scene like this.
00:53:31	I'm getting sick and tired and fed up of you
00:53:35	and my apartment house
00:53:38	taking advantage of my good nature.
00:53:39	How do you think it feels to know
00:53:42	but a tonic for what ails women?
00:53:44	Do you know
00:53:46	Refreshing without filling!
00:53:47	You'll forgive that expression,
00:53:49	- Will you keep your voice down?
00:53:52	I want all my fellow men to know
00:53:55	- You've been...
00:53:57	She wants me to stand idly by
00:53:59	while she brings a friend in,
00:54:02	- Well, no dice.
00:54:03	- He is. He really is.
00:54:05	This child is absolutely wonderful.
00:54:08	a body that will not quit.
00:54:11	that sweet young thing in
00:54:16	Merciful heavens,
00:54:19	- Bravo!
00:54:28	- Did he mind sleeping out here?
00:54:35	- Hi, there.
00:54:37	Girls, girls, girls.
00:54:39	I want you to meet my landlord, Mr. Hogan.
00:54:42	No "mister," just Hogan,
00:54:44	- Well, don't let me intrude now.
00:54:45	- Would you like a piece of coffee cake?
00:54:48	We're having a coffee klatch.
00:54:51	You know, this is unbelievable.
00:54:52	How can one girl have so many
00:54:55	- Thank you.
00:54:56	with this many beautiful girls
00:54:59	There was a campfire girls' meeting
00:55:01	and I snuck in there and let all the air out
00:55:07	Murph!
00:55:09	Just doing a little pruning, honey.
00:55:12	Nice meeting you, Hogan.
00:55:16	- Bye-bye, Robin.
00:55:18	- Goodbye.
00:55:19	- Goodbye. Bye-bye.
00:55:21	Awfully nice to have seen you.
00:55:24	What a charming bevy.
00:55:26	- Goodbye, Hogan.
00:55:28	Hogan, I do have things I have to do.
00:55:31	Such as the laundromat,
00:55:34	- I'm very...
00:55:36	- and I'll do it with you.
00:55:37	Well, it's not an imposition.
00:55:40	I'd be alone all day, and I hate that.
00:55:41	And besides, I love to Piggle and Wiggle
00:55:44	Here, let me take that.
00:55:45	You just consider old Hogan
00:55:50	You know, I feel kind of deliciously guilty
00:55:54	Good for the soul, you sweet thing.
00:55:55	I used to be a college man myself,
00:55:57	Pre-med, engineering, horticulture,
00:55:59	- Kicked out of three universities.
00:56:02	Well, not really.
00:56:04	I find I function better in the fiery crucible
00:56:14	Hogan, exactly what do you do?
00:56:18	About what? For a living, you mean?
00:56:20	- Yes, I think that's what I mean.
00:56:23	Well, it's not really my fault.
00:56:25	You see, my antecedents came to California
00:56:27	and now I'm stuck with property
00:56:30	- Well, that's too bad.
00:56:32	It's all I can do to forgive my grandfather
00:56:35	I've been sort of, I don't know,
00:56:37	deprived of the healthy natural struggle
00:56:41	- Well, we all have our crosses to bear.
00:56:44	Here I am, forced to eke out my pleasures
00:56:48	Like what?
00:57:07	What are we doing here?
00:57:09	Well, it seems like
00:57:11	Hogan, I have a million things
00:57:14	- I'm very busy.
00:57:16	- And chilled, too.
00:57:18	- The supermarket? Are you sure?
00:57:26	Thanks for helping me, Hogan.
00:57:27	- It's awfully nice of you.
00:57:30	Just put it over there, okay?
00:57:34	- Right here. Can you manage?
00:57:36	Okay.
00:57:46	Hogan, I've practically
00:57:49	- Shouldn't you be doing something?
00:57:51	Just hang around and help you.
00:57:55	- What?
00:57:58	- Dave.
00:58:02	I want you to feel free to just pop across
00:58:05	and let me take you out to dinner.
00:58:07	Well, thank you very much,
00:58:11	- he practically never gets tired.
00:58:16	It'll be such fun fixing dinner
00:58:19	And I want to thank you
00:58:22	Dave just loves wine.
00:58:24	It's going to be so beautiful
00:58:28	Dave is just going to love it.
00:58:31	- Yeah. And with all that energy...
00:58:34	- I just remembered something I forgot.
00:58:37	I've gotta pop off,
00:58:38	- Okay, goodbye. Thanks for everything.
00:58:43	My energy is just fine, thanks!
00:58:46	- I'm only trying to help you.
00:58:50	- You remember last night?
00:58:53	If you think last night was rough, buster,
00:58:54	you wait and see what she's got in store
00:58:56	Even the pushups aren't going to help you.
00:59:00	I appreciate your concern, Hogan,
00:59:03	Well, don't you see, your big problem is
00:59:06	Now I'm asking you, man to man,
00:59:10	Exhaust yourself before tonight.
00:59:13	You're starting that
00:59:15	It's true!
00:59:16	You ask any middle-aged man. They don't
00:59:19	They come home from the office
00:59:21	- Yeah.
00:59:24	and before tonight. Please, will you...
00:59:27	Please, trust me.
00:59:29	I'm doing this for your good.
01:00:21	Hi, honey, welcome home. What?
01:00:23	- I got a muscle spasm.
01:00:25	Under the shoulder, honey.
01:00:27	You poor sweet lamb.
01:00:32	Here. My poor baby. Come on.
01:00:36	That was delivered for you
01:00:40	- What's it for?
01:00:45	They brought all this other stuff, too.
01:00:50	- No, no. It's...
01:00:53	- It's from a friend.
01:00:57	Well, honey, I'm so glad
01:01:01	Well, I mean,
01:01:03	but as long as you're healthy,
01:01:06	Okay. Well, dinner will be ready in a minute.
01:01:12	Oh, boy.
01:01:17	You know, I never had a brother, so I don't
01:01:22	But I think a good wife
01:01:25	Yeah, yeah.
01:01:28	Honey, how would you like it if I took
01:01:34	Yeah, yeah, it would be a good idea.
01:01:39	What'd you say? I wonder who that is.
01:01:46	Mr. Dave Manning?
01:01:47	- Dave, it's for you.
01:01:51	Oh, my goodness.
01:01:55	- I've never seen anything like that.
01:01:57	- Yes.
01:01:59	Oh, my... They're real.
01:02:01	- Nice evening, isn't it, missus?
01:02:04	- They're beautiful.
01:02:06	Thank you, sir. Thank you.
01:02:09	Yeah.
01:02:12	- There you go.
01:02:13	- Well, good night, folks.
01:02:16	Like the sign says, good luck.
01:02:20	I wonder what's going on.
01:02:23	- Who could have sent it?
01:02:25	But what for?
01:02:27	Midterms. I think I mentioned that to him.
01:02:29	Well, isn't he the dearest thing?
01:02:33	- just to think of you.
01:02:37	- He's a doll.
01:02:49	I'll get into the hang of it
01:02:52	A nice, ice-cold martini for when
01:02:58	Are you asleep?
01:03:11	To me.
01:03:31	Hi, I'm sorry to bother you at this time
01:03:34	- Why, sure. Come on in.
01:03:37	Be careful with the door. Dave's asleep.
01:03:41	I'll just tippy-toe like a little mouse.
01:03:44	- Whatever happened to him?
01:03:47	Well, he came home exhausted, poor thing.
01:03:51	Martini is my favorite soft drink.
01:03:55	- Help yourself.
01:03:58	I'll go get the sugar, okay?
01:04:16	What are you cooking over there?
01:04:18	Just a lonely little bachelor's dinner.
01:04:21	- With a cup of sugar?
01:04:23	- Here's your sugar.
01:04:25	Your dinner's going to waste,
01:04:28	so why don't you and I just sneak out
01:04:30	Well, thanks a lot, but I really couldn't.
01:04:33	You can't rattle around here with pots
01:04:36	- Well, that's true.
01:04:38	I mean, he needs his sleep if he wants
01:04:41	- Well, I don't know...
01:04:42	hole-in-the-wall. It's
01:04:44	We can just grab a hamburger
01:04:46	Just an inexpensive little joint.
01:04:57	Bravo.
01:04:58	He found a '28 Romanee.
01:05:02	This is what you call
01:05:06	Well, it's an economic necessity. The bank
01:05:10	It's cluttering up their vaults.
01:05:14	- You were saying something about diversity.
01:05:16	I didn't understand a word of it.
01:05:18	Well, I'll see if I can
01:05:23	Well, there must be 200 restaurants
01:05:26	- Who's he with?
01:05:28	- Robin? What's he doing with her?
01:05:31	I hope.
01:05:33	Now, look, let's not start worrying
01:05:52	Now, let's see.
01:05:53	One needs a yardstick to judge everything,
01:05:56	Even men, for instance.
01:05:59	Again, diversity. Now, there's
01:06:03	"Men are like cantaloupes,
01:06:06	- Why?
01:06:08	"a thousand you should try!"
01:06:11	- You didn't make that up. No.
01:06:12	Well, maybe I read it somewhere.
01:06:15	Well, now, take you and Dave,
01:06:17	than with someone like me, for instance.
01:06:19	I mean, what have I got to offer
01:06:23	Except possibly unlimited funds
01:06:34	You'll be happy to know,
01:06:36	I can honestly state
01:06:38	- Fortunately, you leave me cold.
01:06:40	Not that you aren't one of the most
01:06:42	I've ever seen, but I don't know,
01:06:46	- My what?
01:06:47	I barely notice that you have a body.
01:06:50	- No offense.
01:06:53	We're going to get along marvelously.
01:06:57	Of course,
01:06:59	how unimportant a liaison with me
01:07:01	should we feel one coming on.
01:07:03	A liaison of the mind.
01:07:07	Unfortunately, Mother Nature,
01:07:10	has endowed me with other cravings, too.
01:07:13	I'd better warn you that
01:07:16	I'm not above craft and cunning
01:07:20	- I'll keep my eyes open.
01:07:25	because sometimes these devices
01:07:27	I don't even see them coming on myself.
01:07:36	- Thanks for a lovely evening, Hogan.
01:07:39	Come on over. We'll have
01:07:41	I got a hit record I want to show you.
01:07:43	Good night, Hogan.
01:07:46	Now, look, look, now,
01:07:48	The evening is very young, you know.
01:07:52	- Hi, there, old buddy-bud. Come on.
01:07:56	Do you realize it's 2:30 in the morning?
01:07:58	Well, I didn't want to disturb you,
01:08:01	Swell. Swell. So you just left me
01:08:04	passed out like cold mashed potatoes,
01:08:06	No hard feelings, pal.
01:08:08	Let's all step in and discuss it
01:08:11	No, we're not stepping in.
01:08:13	- That's no way to treat a brother.
01:08:15	- You're angry, aren't you?
01:08:18	My girl, out with another man,
01:08:20	to tell me where she's going to be.
01:08:22	Who collapsed on the couch after I slaved
01:08:25	- I was pooped!
01:08:27	It's a kink.
01:08:28	If you had been through
01:08:31	- and no sleep last night...
01:08:33	You're very good at definitions.
01:08:35	All right, I'm sorry. It's my fault.
01:08:44	Rob, honey, it's more my fault
01:08:48	- I'm exhausted and I got angry.
01:08:50	- Because of that nut.
01:08:52	- No, it was my fault.
01:08:54	Hey, let's not get into a fight
01:08:57	- over who started the fight.
01:09:02	- Anyway, we're both sorry.
01:09:13	Rob, we'd better knock that off.
01:09:16	I tell you, I'm tired
01:09:19	Well, if you're so tired,
01:09:22	Well, I'm not that tired.
01:09:25	Dave, you get to bed.
01:09:28	- Yeah, Rob...
01:09:30	'cause you have to go to school
01:09:32	and I've kept you up so late already.
01:09:36	Good night, you gorgeous thing.
01:10:03	- What's that?
01:10:06	Just stubbed my toe. Go to sleep now.
01:10:09	- Good night.
01:10:54	Sorry, it's just the water pipes.
01:11:02	I'll give it the big try.
01:11:38	Don't strike a match.
01:11:39	- Gas.
01:11:41	- to warn you.
01:11:43	- When did you first smell the gas?
01:11:46	There's nothing more frightening
01:11:48	She probably left this oven on.
01:11:59	Thought I smelled electricity?
01:12:03	Can't be too careful.
01:12:07	it's as good a time as any to get into this
01:12:10	- Now, listen. Look...
01:12:12	Early in the morning,
01:12:15	- How the hell do you keep getting in here?
01:12:18	- It was not open!
01:12:21	- What?
01:12:23	trying to help you win
01:12:25	- You're standing on a legal technicality.
01:12:28	You're touchy. Come on. Come on.
01:12:32	- Hogan, I am going to bed.
01:12:35	Now, look, you want to marry that girl?
01:12:38	Where do you keep
01:12:39	There we are.
01:12:43	First of all, take the
01:12:46	I don't want you to take offense, son,
01:12:49	but that girl has got her clock
01:12:50	So yours are perfectly all right.
01:12:52	Which, confirming my earlier opinions,
01:12:53	means that what she actually seeks is a man
01:12:58	- do you follow?
01:13:00	I have examinations.
01:13:02	Yeah, you're darn right. Now, the problem is
01:13:05	Now, pay attention to me, boy.
01:13:08	- I'll be an inestimable help.
01:13:10	Since this dear sweet child cannot face up
01:13:14	it's up to you to make it easy for her
01:13:17	- What was that again?
01:13:20	as to make it seem to her that she herself,
01:13:24	- Now, you follow that?
01:13:26	It'd never do
01:13:28	That, she'd be bound to look upon that
01:13:30	Then how about sneaking up behind her
01:13:34	- What are you talking about?
01:13:48	Brother, I don't think
01:13:50	Now, you have got to listen to me, boy.
01:13:53	- Give me the key.
01:13:54	is a program of feigned indifference. A
01:13:59	And hardly a woman alive can resist it.
01:14:01	Yeah, how many more of these things
01:14:03	The supply is inexhaustible.
01:14:05	Now, the thing is, you are going to have to
01:14:09	There is to be no compliments and no
01:14:13	And no flowers and no candy.
01:14:16	you must abstain from all those
01:14:19	- Do you follow me? Am I going too fast?
01:14:21	A short period of treatment like that
01:14:25	if you get the picture.
01:14:28	What I don't understand is
01:14:32	- Unseen forces watch over me.
01:14:35	What do you mean...
01:14:36	Boy, what is the matter with you?
01:14:38	Can't you see I'm trying to help you?
01:14:40	This girl has got cravings and desires
01:14:42	- Let her burn!
01:14:45	callous attitudes that make it tough on me.
01:14:46	Well, I might as well tell you, I'm sick.
01:14:48	- What?
01:14:50	She's going to turn to me to put out
01:14:53	to the entire female contingent
01:14:56	- You...
01:14:57	Not again. Look, son, you don't understand.
01:15:00	Look, start your program right away,
01:15:02	Show your indifference
01:15:09	Welcome to my apartment. I hope you like it,
01:15:12	that it is available to you at any time.
01:15:15	and do some homework
01:15:18	And I'll just toot along back in
01:15:21	Of course, that rules me out right away
01:15:24	Here, simple, huh? Bye.
01:15:31	Be careful what you're grabbing there, boy.
01:15:46	Grind away, you little devil
01:15:56	Please, God.
01:16:33	Irene! Irene! Honey, Irene.
01:16:37	Dave, what happen... Irene!
01:16:40	What happened?
01:16:42	- Dave, what did you do?
01:16:44	- What? How could you do that?
01:16:46	- Well, I...
01:16:48	- Can you hear me? Is she dead?
01:16:50	- Irene. Irene, wake up. Wake up.
01:16:53	- Wake up, Irene.
01:16:54	- He hit her with something.
01:16:56	- You stay out of this, Hogan.
01:16:59	- I'm telling you...
01:17:00	- Well, then get him out of here.
01:17:02	- Go get the brandy. Irene.
01:17:05	How are you going to be
01:17:07	if you get the reputation
01:17:08	- You want to take my advice in this matter?
01:17:10	and get out of here, Hogan.
01:17:13	Dave Manning,
01:17:15	How could you be so brutal
01:17:17	I didn't know it was Irene.
01:17:18	Hitting her over the head with a bottle,
01:17:20	I didn't do it on purpose.
01:17:23	I'm not sure now.
01:17:24	Well, I find it doesn't pay
01:17:26	Women are very tough, you know.
01:17:29	Can I make a suggestion?
01:17:32	obviously, is her own bed, so why don't
01:17:35	And in the meantime, I'll do my level best
01:17:38	- You are full of helpful ideas, aren't you?
01:17:41	- Now, what's... A simple suggestion.
01:17:44	what I should have done
01:17:47	There you go again,
01:17:48	People are gonna talk about you.
01:17:51	You're going to be a lousy architect.
01:17:52	Lines all zig-zaggy jiggly,
01:17:55	Now, come on, fella. Now, come on, baby.
01:18:07	Take your pulse.
01:18:09	How's Irene?
01:18:10	Well, you have been an absolute beast
01:18:14	Hitting this poor woman
01:18:16	Honey, I thought it was Hogan.
01:18:18	And then screaming at everybody.
01:18:20	- And why would you want to hit Hogan?
01:18:23	Oh, boy! Well, I...
01:18:24	- Where is Hogan?
01:18:27	- Well, I'm glad this evening happened.
01:18:30	Yes, I am. I've discovered
01:18:35	- Well, now you know. I'm a raving monster.
01:18:38	And with no provocation, either.
01:18:41	no dinner, no girl, and this burlesque
01:18:44	Look at this place, honey.
01:18:49	Our little sanctum.
01:18:51	Where we can reveal ourselves
01:18:55	With people walking in and out,
01:18:58	and a kooky landlord across the hall
01:19:01	I tell you, lady, it's a nut house.
01:19:07	You're just terrible.
01:19:24	- Morning, folks.
01:19:25	- How are you this morning?
01:19:32	Here, kitty. Here, kitty. Come on.
01:19:35	Come on. Come on. Here it is.
01:19:49	- See you at lunch. And I can't wait.
01:20:06	- Hi, Murphy. How are you?
01:20:08	- Murph!
01:20:12	Well, stick to your watering.
01:20:20	Mr. Hogan! Not again?
01:20:22	What's wrong with you, boy?
01:20:26	I don't believe this.
01:20:27	You sure got a funny way
01:20:32	You got a bed.
01:20:36	We're running out of towels.
01:20:39	Get you right to bed. That would be better.
01:20:45	Found him in the bushes again.
01:20:47	Sure would like to know
01:20:59	I am sorry and ashamed
01:21:02	I don't know why I thought
01:21:04	No, he was a perfect gentleman.
01:21:06	He brought me home
01:21:08	Well, that doesn't sound like Hogan.
01:21:10	I don't know. I saw the two of you
01:21:13	- and my female instinct just backfired.
01:21:17	He insisted that I sleep on his cot,
01:21:22	Well, anyway, the whole thing ended up
01:21:26	We said all sorts of horrible things
01:21:28	and he probably despises me by now.
01:21:32	- I'm sure he doesn't despise you.
01:21:38	I botched things but good this time.
01:21:44	- Hey, there.
01:21:46	- Hi.
01:21:47	Not bad. It's even possible the new contour
01:21:52	- You have forgiven me?
01:21:54	I just wish your timing had been better,
01:21:57	Who's that? You mean Brother Hogan
01:22:02	I had a long talk with Robin this morning,
01:22:05	but what do you intend doing about her?
01:22:10	Well, I intend to go shopping
01:22:15	and then I intend to go home
01:22:20	and spend a quiet evening
01:22:23	There's something about the tone
01:22:26	What do you mean, "quiet evening"?
01:22:28	Well, Irene, that's really
01:22:31	I feel myself somewhat responsible for her.
01:22:39	Miss Wilson, I am a guy in love.
01:22:43	Now, I'm going to do
01:22:46	I'm going to have a quiet little drink
01:22:49	in front of a quiet little fire,
01:22:53	and let nature take its quiet little course.
01:22:56	- See you around, Professor.
01:23:05	Hey, buddy-bud, I've been waiting for you.
01:23:08	for about two sets of tennis
01:23:10	A nice cool shower.
01:23:12	- Fine, fine, brother, but not today.
01:23:15	Now, boy, I don't need to tell you
01:23:17	You're a man of the world. You know
01:23:21	This was passed on down to us
01:23:22	- Sophocles and Plato.
01:23:24	A womanless world is the very foundation
01:23:26	- Wonderful, wonderful.
01:23:28	against your arch enemy, kid. Vitality.
01:23:31	I tell you, that sounds just great, Hogan.
01:23:34	I'm going to let my vitality just sit by
01:23:38	- Listen, I have misjudged you, boy.
01:23:40	I'm ashamed of you. Ashamed!
01:23:42	Yeah, well, look us up in the morning,
01:23:43	- Not too early. I may be sleeping late.
01:24:04	Hello.
01:24:14	- Honey, I just want to say...
01:24:17	- Last night never existed, agreed?
01:24:20	- You're the boss.
01:24:22	- I love you, too, David.
01:24:25	- That's all that matters, then, really, isn't it?
01:24:28	- And tonight...
01:24:29	...is another story.
01:24:31	Well, I think I'll go upstairs and
01:24:34	Hey, honey, what did you buy? What is it?
01:24:37	Nothing. Some little goodies.
01:24:39	- Now, you run along, I'll show you later.
01:24:42	Well, there may be a lot of strange
01:24:45	Okay.
01:25:45	- It's me again.
01:25:47	- Where's Robin?
01:25:50	I've been giving this some serious thought,
01:25:53	You don't mind if I go ahead and work,
01:25:55	- No, no, go right ahead.
01:25:56	I want to discuss with both of you some
01:26:00	which neither of you considered.
01:26:02	Yeah, well, it sounds fascinating,
01:26:04	- I'm going to have my say.
01:26:05	You see, trial marriage among intelligent,
01:26:11	What's this?
01:26:13	That's E. E. Cummings' Puella Mea.
01:26:18	- The drawings.
01:26:28	David Manning! You wouldn't.
01:26:30	Yeah, yeah. Little David. I did it.
01:26:33	After you gave your word
01:26:37	Irene, I am not going to continue playing
01:26:40	with an adorable juvenile
01:26:42	You know, it's my fault
01:26:44	I've been confusing
01:26:46	I've played buddy-buddy to her
01:26:48	And if I can rectify it tonight, I...
01:26:51	Well, I'm going to,
01:26:53	Well, what about your sense of ethics?
01:26:55	Well, if you don't mention
01:26:57	Maybe it'll pass into oblivion with the help
01:27:01	Made from cactus juice, I think.
01:27:04	- Hi, Irene.
01:27:05	- What's going on?
01:27:07	- You know what he...
01:27:09	So long.
01:27:10	- Come back and see us sometime.
01:27:12	- Goodbye, Irene.
01:27:14	- Yeah, we'll see you at school tomorrow.
01:27:16	- Yeah, so long.
01:27:18	- Bye. Bye now.
01:27:19	Now, what was that all about?
01:27:23	Women, who can figure them?
01:27:27	- Well, isn't this beautiful?
01:27:31	A fireplace, candles. Is that brandy?
01:27:34	- No, no. That is mescal.
01:27:37	It's a native Mexican drink
01:27:40	Are we celebrating something?
01:27:42	Yeah, no, well, could be.
01:27:44	There you go.
01:27:52	It's made from some sort of
01:27:56	- They left the needles in it.
01:27:59	- Would you like some music?
01:28:28	- Would you like to dance?
01:28:32	- Well, arms length.
01:28:34	- Okay.
01:28:45	Dave?
01:28:47	Tonight, I'm filled with new hopes
01:28:50	I just have a feeling everything's
01:28:55	Yeah. Let's drink to that.
01:28:58	All right. Whatever you say, I'm your slave.
01:29:05	- There we go. Cheers.
01:29:13	When you get used to it,
01:29:18	Yeah.
01:29:21	Would you pour me another drink, please?
01:29:25	Thank you.
01:29:36	David?
01:29:40	- Do you know what I think mescal is?
01:29:43	I think it's some mysterious concoction
01:29:45	designed to destroy
01:29:49	Willpowers-es?
01:29:51	- That's the plural form.
01:29:55	I like it. I like it.
01:29:57	Rob, honey,
01:29:59	and that I'd never do anything to harm you?
01:30:02	- Of course.
01:30:04	Well, of course, it might happen that
01:30:06	I would do something, which,
01:30:10	- David, that's impossible...
01:30:12	You're not capable of it.
01:30:13	I mean, you're much too trustworthy
01:30:16	That's just you.
01:30:18	- Yeah, but what I was thinking...
01:30:22	Dave, you have
01:30:26	Swell.
01:30:28	- Let's drink to your integrity.
01:30:37	- What's this?
01:30:41	that I happened to stumble across.
01:30:44	E. E. Cummings' Puella Mea. I just love it.
01:30:47	- Yeah, you know it?
01:30:49	Well, some of it, at least.
01:30:56	Poetry, music, booze.
01:31:01	Fireplace.
01:31:04	David Manning, if I didn't know you so well,
01:31:09	Robin! Well, how can you say
01:31:13	- Well, I was just teasing.
01:31:19	"Caliph and king their ladies
01:31:22	"when the world was young and mad,
01:31:27	The poem is a description of the girl
01:31:31	- It's so beautiful it makes you want to cry.
01:31:34	Let's drink to old Caliph, huh?
01:31:37	- There you go.
01:31:40	After a couple of these, you hardly notice
01:31:46	- You read it to me.
01:31:51	Let me get to the good part.
01:31:55	"In her perfectest array,
01:31:59	- And I can prove it, too.
01:32:01	Your integrity.
01:32:03	Why, what other fellow in the whole world
01:32:06	- as you made to me?
01:32:08	such a narrow range of conversation?
01:32:11	and not talk about integrity.
01:32:14	- Sorry.
01:32:16	Buddy!
01:32:19	Rob, you'd better slow down on that stuff.
01:32:23	- Read me!
01:32:26	"In her perfectest array, my lady
01:32:28	"moving in the day,
01:32:32	That's me, big boy, strange! Here.
01:32:41	Yeah.
01:32:44	"If she a little... If she a little turn
01:32:51	"But should my... "
01:32:55	"But should my lady smile,
01:33:00	"And if she speak in her frail way... "
01:33:03	- Hiya!
01:33:07	- "It is wholly to bewitch..." Rob, for God...
01:33:09	- Dynamite me! Go, go, go!
01:33:12	"Her body is most beauteous,
01:33:16	"fashioned very curiously
01:33:20	- "And of all of the... "
01:33:22	Rob, for Pete's sake,
01:33:24	"Upon the lovely and keen throat
01:33:28	"within her eyes is dimly heard,
01:33:32	- Rob...
01:33:35	"Ardent and perfect withal,
01:33:37	- "smooth to stroke and sweet to see... "
01:33:40	- "As supple as the young tree... "
01:33:42	"Her slim lascivious arms alight.
01:33:48	- Honey, now look...
01:33:49	- "is firm and smooth. "
01:33:52	"Her waist is a most tiny hinge of flesh,
01:33:54	- "winsome thing and strange. "
01:33:56	"It is a throbbing neck whereby
01:34:00	Honey, wait...
01:34:03	- Wait a minute...
01:34:09	- Can we?
01:34:12	- Rob.
01:34:14	Honey, you have the most infuriating
01:34:17	Reminding me about commitment
01:34:20	You ever hear of shooting fish
01:34:21	Well, that's you, Rob.
01:34:23	Besides, I don't want some vintner in
01:34:27	Honey, look, I know your idea is cockeyed,
01:34:31	but I'm not sure that my idea is any better.
01:34:35	No.
01:34:36	This is no way to start our marriage.
01:34:38	You're half-pie-eyed on mescal
01:34:42	I just can't do it.
01:34:48	A perfect setup, fire, music and
01:34:55	Or else I love you more than I realized.
01:35:19	Well, hi, there!
01:35:28	Good evening, you sweet thing.
01:36:49	Rob?
01:37:49	Rob, you decent?
01:37:55	Robin?
01:38:12	Hi.
01:38:37	Good morning.
01:38:39	Good morning, David.
01:38:41	I'm taking the extra tube of toothpaste.
01:38:46	That's all right with me.
01:38:49	Rob...
01:38:54	- Forgive you?
01:38:56	With me sprawling all over you.
01:38:59	Robin, I set it up, don't you understand?
01:39:05	Well, I guess it doesn't matter now,
01:39:10	Now, I'm putting you on notice.
01:39:13	I love you. I want to marry you, and
01:39:16	- Is that understood?
01:39:19	A brand new start.
01:39:23	What's the matter?
01:39:25	Well, David, I've got to tell you...
01:39:31	- Tell me what?
01:39:33	Hogan came in and, well,
01:39:36	- Well...
01:39:39	Hogan, please, you're...
01:39:44	Hogan, if you don't mind,
01:39:47	Yeah, well, you kids go right ahead.
01:39:48	- Hogan!
01:40:02	- David, I want to tell you all about last night.
01:40:07	You don't have to account to me
01:40:09	- I just want to explain...
01:40:11	It is not what you think.
01:40:13	- Yeah?
01:40:15	Well, at least have the courtesy
01:40:19	Okay. Okay, I'm listening.
01:40:23	Well...
01:40:25	Well, after you left, Hogan came in
01:40:30	- Yeah.
01:40:33	I'll bet he was.
01:40:35	Well, we sat by the fireplace,
01:40:38	and we were talking and drinking and...
01:40:43	- I guess I was a little tipsy.
01:40:47	Well, I am not trying to use that
01:40:49	- Okay.
01:40:53	Hogan explained to me that
01:40:57	was a rationalization to try and cover up
01:41:00	- a basic desire I couldn't face.
01:41:02	- Yeah, that's my pal, Hogan.
01:41:05	came this brilliant idea.
01:41:10	If all I wanted was to be made love to...
01:41:15	Yeah, yeah, yeah?
01:41:17	...then the particular fellow didn't matter.
01:41:20	- And whose brilliant idea was that?
01:41:26	I remember at the time thinking
01:41:29	- It's a beacon in the night.
01:41:32	why, I was positively fractured. I couldn't
01:41:36	- The pillow fight?
01:41:40	Well, Hogan was just trying to cheer me up.
01:41:42	- I was awfully depressed, Dave.
01:41:44	Now, David, will you please listen to me?
01:41:47	- Honey, I'm listening. I am listening.
01:41:50	Then he kissed me.
01:41:53	He kissed you?
01:41:55	It was very sweet of Hogan
01:41:58	And him just a volunteer worker, too.
01:42:01	Well, then we were sitting
01:42:04	- That does it! That does it!
01:42:07	I haven't the vaguest idea how we got there.
01:42:09	Now, David, you're jumping to conclusions.
01:42:10	Now, what do you think you're doing?
01:42:14	David! Are you out of your mind?
01:42:22	Hit him again when he gets up!
01:42:27	- David, why would you do that?
01:42:30	- He's up. Belt him!
01:42:31	- You lay a hand on me, and I'll...
01:42:35	Yeah! What?
01:42:37	It's the truth. I swear it.
01:42:40	Wait a minute... Do you mean to tell me
01:42:43	and drank with him in the dark
01:42:47	and let him kiss you and everything
01:42:48	- I kept trying to explain.
01:42:54	Hogan, look, I'm sorry.
01:42:55	Perfectly all right, I
01:42:58	- Yeah, well, I didn't understand.
01:43:00	- How's the eye?
01:43:03	I'm having trouble with my lip here.
01:43:04	- Hogan, I'm sorry, really.
01:43:08	- Well, brother, no hard feelings, huh?
01:43:10	Come on.
01:43:12	I must say, not every fellow
01:43:14	towards a man
01:43:17	Made love to me? You did not!
01:43:22	I would have lied under oath,
01:43:25	Well, there's nothing to tell.
01:43:27	It didn't happen.
01:43:28	Well, you had too much to drink.
01:43:30	Too much to drink and I'm confused.
01:43:31	She's forgotten completely.
01:43:34	- I have not forgotten.
01:43:36	Well, listen to him,
01:43:38	I wouldn't even know.
01:43:40	- That'd be a gyp, wouldn't it?
01:43:42	- I don't...
01:43:43	- What do you want me to say?
01:43:46	You didn't do anything!
01:43:48	I didn't do anything,
01:43:52	Okay.
01:43:54	- I didn't?
01:43:56	Well, you ought to know.
01:43:58	Now, wait a minute, it sure seemed it to me.
01:44:00	I mean, I may not know much, but this
01:44:04	- Let's take it from the beginning.
01:44:07	- I don't want to know.
01:44:08	Well, what about me? I want to know!
01:44:11	I sure want to know about it.
01:44:13	I sure want to know what I did.
01:44:15	Has it gotten so bad
01:44:18	Merciful heavens,
01:44:22	I would have sworn
01:44:26	Morning.
01:44:29	- Irene, what are you doing here?
01:44:33	Oh, good Lord!
01:44:35	I not only don't know "if,"
01:44:39	Sorry, I was worried about you last night.
01:44:40	Honestly, everybody's so darned concerned
01:44:44	Will you please listen to me?
01:44:45	I came because I didn't want you and Dave
01:44:49	I saw that sex trap you set for her
01:44:51	Sex trap?
01:44:52	Honey, somebody had to watch out
01:44:54	to see that you didn't drown
01:44:56	Well, for your information, Irene,
01:44:59	- but I left early last night.
01:45:02	That's what I was trying to tell you.
01:45:04	I was out, walking all night long, thinking.
01:45:07	Well, the place was empty,
01:45:08	except for this miserable creature,
01:45:13	sprawled half-on, half-off the bed
01:45:18	I put his feet up to make him comfortable,
01:45:21	Out cold, mind you,
01:45:24	I knew it! I knew there was somebody!
01:45:28	What makes you think so, you worm?
01:45:30	First, he calls me Robin.
01:45:31	Then that doesn't work,
01:45:34	- Cheryl, Ericka, Monique, Liz.
01:45:37	tell me what happened
01:45:39	By that time, you big ape,
01:45:40	I had all I could do to keep
01:45:43	Robin, take the advice of an older
01:45:46	pack your things and get out of here now.
01:45:47	Wait, just... I'm the landlord around here.
01:45:48	- You mean to tell me that I didn't...
01:45:52	- This is very important to me.
01:45:54	- Do you mean to tell me...
01:45:55	You're worried about them,
01:45:59	Before I get out of your lives forever,
01:46:02	Robin, love isn't a mechanical arrangement
01:46:06	worked out over laundry tubs and ovens
01:46:10	The attitude of love
01:46:14	To cook for him and darn his socks
01:46:18	because you wish him well.
01:46:20	And for you, David, to work for her,
01:46:24	and forgive her when she's a boob,
01:46:26	to put up with all the makeup on your coat
01:46:30	and her moments of bad temper
01:46:36	Love doesn't suddenly drop from a tree
01:46:41	Just like any other husband and wife,
01:46:45	each and every day of your lives.
01:46:49	Now go on and get married
01:46:53	I love you, you silly puss!
01:46:56	And you take care of her or I'll brain you.
01:47:14	Irene. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
01:47:17	- I don't want to talk to you.
01:47:20	- It's over.
01:47:22	- Out of my way, insect!
01:47:23	Why did you come back last night?
01:47:25	- You're afraid to admit it.
01:47:26	I'll tell you what you're just dying to hear.
01:47:30	I used to be in love with you,
01:47:34	- But you never told me.
01:47:36	I will never, never know.
01:47:37	You are a liar, a drunk, a lech,
01:47:40	and one of the most ridiculous men
01:47:46	The girl is mad about me.
01:47:48	Hey, Irene? Hey, are you all right?
01:47:53	Goodbye, sin bin.
01:47:57	- It's all over now, finally.
01:47:59	Irene, wait a minute. Wait a minute.
01:48:01	She's the one woman
01:48:03	You should have heard
01:48:05	Cut me into little pieces
01:48:08	Well, something tells me you'll recover.
01:48:09	From this moment on,
01:48:12	- I doubt if we'll be around.
01:48:15	and we're going to do it together.
01:48:17	- Bye, Hogan.
01:48:19	- You're finally out of my system.
01:48:22	But you can't leave me now. That's not fair.
01:48:24	It's wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong!
01:48:26	- Goodbye, Hogan.
01:48:27	I'll be back for my things
01:48:29	Yeah, goodbye, old pal. I bequeath to you
01:48:33	Now, give my best to Plato.
01:48:34	- Yeah, well...
01:48:36	- Ungrateful females, every one of them.
01:48:40	- What does that mean?
01:48:44	Well, you, too? Now, wait a minute.
01:48:47	You're like my mother.
01:48:48	Mother's left. Clean up your own mess
01:48:52	I'm sorry, Mr. Hogan. It wasn't my idea.
01:48:55	Personally, you're aces with me,
01:48:57	Murph!
01:49:00	I forgot my tools, honey.
01:49:02	- Come on.
01:49:09	All right, go ahead, walk out on me.
01:49:12	Desert the sinking ship.
01:49:14	Who needs you?
01:49:16	I'm going to lead a life of celibacy.
01:49:18	I can get along without women.
01:49:23	Young man?
01:49:25	Are there premises available for rent here?
01:49:29	- From now on, I rent only to men.
01:49:32	I'll look elsewhere for my girls.
01:49:39	Girls?
01:49:52	Well, here we go again.
01:49:55	Hello, there, my name is Hogan.
01:49:57	Careful there. Careful now.

Under The Yum Yum Tree