Vegas Vacation

en
00:00:03 4:22 on a sunny Thursday afternoon...
00:00:05 here in Chicago on K-LITE.
00:00:08 Now here's one
00:00:10 The Beach Boys, Good Vibrations.
00:01:43 Honey, I'm home!
00:01:48 Hi, honey.
00:01:50 Smells good.
00:01:52 - Can I have...
00:01:54 Come in here and gather around!
00:01:57 - I must show you something!
00:01:59 Keep dreaming.
00:02:01 Here, eat these.
00:02:07 - They're chocolate chip.
00:02:09 They're four years old.
00:02:16 Anyone for milk?
00:02:17 Eight years old.
00:02:20 It's my long-life food preservative.
00:02:23 I got my big bonus!
00:02:27 - Congratulations.
00:02:30 And...
00:02:31 that's not all.
00:02:33 Mr. Turner thinks a guy like...
00:02:35 Clark Griswold deserves a few days off.
00:02:37 And Clark Griswold thinks
00:02:41 take his family on a fabulous vacation to...
00:02:46 fantastic Las Vegas!
00:02:52 There's nothing to do there.
00:02:54 Clark, I don't think that Las Vegas
00:03:00 Oh, come on.
00:03:01 Las Vegas has changed, Ellen.
00:03:04 It's the number-one family
00:03:08 I'm not going.
00:03:11 Is there legalized prostitution?
00:03:13 Not within the city limits.
00:03:15 But there is...
00:03:17 first-class entertainment,
00:03:21 and all the shrimp cocktail you can eat.
00:03:26 Listen, everybody...
00:03:27 how many more chances will we get
00:03:31 Ellen and I are always working.
00:03:34 And you guys are growing up so fast
00:03:41 Okay. There's one more reason
00:03:49 I'm remarrying your mom...
00:03:51 if she'll have me.
00:03:54 Really, Sparky?
00:03:56 What do you say? My 20th anniversary.
00:04:00 Have a bridesmaid in mind?
00:04:02 - How about Audrey?
00:04:05 Dad!
00:04:06 What do you say? Let's do it!
00:04:08 I think this is going to be
00:04:28 You know you look
00:04:38 You know, honey...
00:04:40 the guys at work tell me there's
00:04:44 meet in the bathroom.
00:04:47 Clark, are you serious?
00:04:50 You love me, don't you?
00:04:52 I do, but here?
00:04:54 Now?
00:04:55 We've been married 20 years.
00:05:00 How do we do it?
00:05:02 Go first, I'll be behind you.
00:05:08 Are you okay? You look red.
00:05:10 Just going to the restroom.
00:05:24 Excuse me.
00:05:26 Where're you going?
00:05:29 Your mother's got something in her eye.
00:05:32 help her get it out.
00:06:19 Maybe we should...
00:06:21 join...
00:06:23 some other kind of club.
00:06:26 I just want time with you.
00:06:29 I just think there's...
00:06:32 - a better time...
00:06:37 Foot, foot!
00:06:39 I got it. I got it.
00:06:44 I'll never fly again.
00:06:46 The pilot was helpful.
00:06:48 The whole plane applauded.
00:06:49 If you want to use these bathrooms,
00:06:53 Is this ours?
00:06:56 - A limo?
00:06:58 Sorry, my pen burst in the altitude.
00:07:01 - I'm sorry.
00:07:02 Come this way, please.
00:07:04 This is it. This is it.
00:07:15 Look at this.
00:07:37 Wayne Newton.
00:08:08 It's beautiful!
00:08:12 You must see this.
00:08:21 Daddy!
00:08:23 Help!
00:08:25 I'm stuck!
00:08:28 Vegas, Vegas, Vegas.
00:08:46 Look! I think you'll want to see this!
00:09:09 Is this it?
00:09:11 Welcome to the fabulous Mirage.
00:09:17 Don't worry,
00:09:21 Come on, there's a lot to do.
00:09:24 There's a lot to do.
00:09:32 Welcome. Your credit card.
00:09:34 Yes, indeed.
00:09:35 Griswold, four.
00:09:36 We have an excellent dry-cleaning service,
00:09:40 It's a birthmark.
00:09:45 To get to your room,
00:09:49 Take a right at the first palm tree.
00:09:54 Not baccarat, not craps. Blackjack.
00:09:56 Turn right and wind around left.
00:09:58 If you get to the pool, you've gone too far.
00:10:01 You'll see elevators.
00:10:05 Keep walking, you'll see
00:10:09 Those are yours. Go to the 10th floor.
00:10:11 You'll find your room.
00:10:14 Any questions?
00:10:17 No, not really.
00:10:20 Russ!
00:10:21 Did you get that?
00:10:24 Well, let's go then. Thanks.
00:10:30 Good luck!
00:10:44 What's this?
00:10:48 Look at these people. Blinded
00:11:17 The elevators are there.
00:11:19 Hold on, honey.
00:11:20 They always put the machines
00:11:25 $5?
00:11:26 Here we go!
00:11:36 You see, Las Vegas is already
00:11:41 Let's go to the room.
00:11:47 Honey, call up the kids.
00:11:49 See how they like this.
00:11:56 Rusty and Audrey Griswold, please.
00:12:09 We're right next door.
00:12:12 Please don't spoil your daddy's fun.
00:12:14 Dad, we're too old for this.
00:12:21 Sit down.
00:12:24 Kids...
00:12:26 remember when you were babies?
00:12:30 It was a wonderful time.
00:12:33 We had your cribs right in our room.
00:12:35 We'd wrap you up in little blankets...
00:12:38 and roll you back and forth
00:12:43 Those days...
00:12:44 they're almost over.
00:12:48 So...
00:12:50 To close out that wonderful chapter,
00:12:55 Best show on the planet?
00:12:57 Masters of the impossible?
00:12:59 We're going because we're the Griswolds!
00:13:02 Can't you just wrap me up in a blanket
00:13:06 No, Russ. Get dressed.
00:13:16 Want to try some blackjack?
00:13:19 What do you know about blackjack, Clark?
00:13:22 You forget I was in the Army.
00:13:25 You weren't in the Army.
00:13:27 Not in the Army, but I have
00:13:32 Just don't want you to lose
00:13:36 When a man can come to Las Vegas
00:13:41 throw a ten-spot down on a table...
00:13:43 pay an extra dollar
00:13:46 that's a happy day for that man.
00:13:49 When his woman is at his side...
00:13:53 Is that Wayne Newton?
00:13:56 Why, you want his autograph?
00:13:57 I think he's staring at me.
00:14:02 No, no, no. I must be tired.
00:14:04 Maybe I'll go find the kids.
00:14:07 I think they want a little time
00:14:10 Let's let them get in trouble.
00:14:14 - I'm asking for $5!
00:14:17 You're boring to travel with.
00:14:20 Fine, you want $5?
00:14:24 Get a wallet.
00:14:29 - Hi.
00:14:31 Would the two of you have any ID?
00:14:34 We left our IDs upstairs, actually.
00:14:38 Wait here for two minutes.
00:14:41 I'll be right back.
00:14:46 My friend...
00:14:48 $200 in chips.
00:14:49 Good evening. Changing $200!
00:14:54 In blackjack, a smart player has
00:15:01 Are you a professional?
00:15:02 Me? No, not really.
00:15:05 Are you?
00:15:15 Place your bet, sir.
00:15:17 Yes, the bet.
00:15:20 What the hell.
00:15:25 - Hit me.
00:15:27 Las Vegas Fun Police.
00:15:30 - Eddie?
00:15:32 Player busts.
00:15:36 Oh, man, it is a blazer out there.
00:15:39 You're lucky you got air conditioning
00:15:44 Clark Griswold, did you think
00:15:48 and not see your favorite cousin?
00:15:50 Your bet.
00:15:52 There.
00:15:53 Why're you in Las Vegas?
00:15:55 Where else can you wear shorts
00:16:00 I am on fire!
00:16:02 What?
00:16:03 Shuffling!
00:16:06 Here's the best part.
00:16:07 Thanks to that defective plate
00:16:09 the V.A. Gave me a huge plot of land
00:16:14 Every time I belch,
00:16:17 But what a view!
00:16:21 Nineteen.
00:16:23 Twenty!
00:16:24 Oh, he's good!
00:16:27 He's good!
00:16:31 - Another $100 in chips, please.
00:16:35 That's it, Clark.
00:16:36 Show them who's boss.
00:16:38 It's people who blow the family
00:16:42 Not this pretty boy.
00:16:53 Oh, gee!
00:16:56 I can't believe it.
00:16:58 I've lost $300 in 15 minutes?
00:17:07 I'm okay. I'm okay.
00:18:03 You're kind.
00:18:06 What a great audience.
00:18:08 Yeah, all right.
00:18:11 Terrific!
00:18:13 Where do you come from?
00:18:15 Me? Chicago, Illinois.
00:18:17 - Fantastic.
00:18:20 Why don't you come on stage?
00:18:22 Come on, it'll be fun.
00:18:24 - Go on!
00:18:26 Okay, I'll play along.
00:18:32 Applaud!
00:18:34 Good to have you.
00:18:37 What's your name?
00:18:39 Clark Griswold.
00:18:40 Marvelous!
00:18:41 Let's do some real magic.
00:18:44 Listen, I know the routine.
00:18:46 What's it going to be tonight?
00:18:51 I happen to know a little magic myself.
00:18:54 I don't know if you've seen this.
00:18:58 Can you tell it's my thumb?
00:19:00 Looks like it is, but it's not.
00:19:02 Whatever, I'll do what you want.
00:19:05 I'm here to help.
00:19:08 Enter.
00:19:10 Okay, I know this one.
00:19:12 - Trust me.
00:19:16 Is this going up? I'll go with it.
00:19:20 Me.
00:20:22 Where's Dad?
00:20:23 I haven't got a clue.
00:21:00 How'd you do at the tables?
00:21:04 I'm about even.
00:21:09 Why'd you say we were here?
00:21:10 Oh, come on. How often do I get
00:21:16 Anyway, we're just stopping by for lunch.
00:21:19 I want to gamble.
00:21:23 Russell...
00:21:24 I never want to hear you say that again.
00:21:27 Gambling is a very serious business.
00:21:30 Is that clear?
00:21:32 Excuse me a minute.
00:21:57 $50 on black.
00:21:58 No more bets.
00:22:01 Red 25! Red wins!
00:22:03 Jeez!
00:22:24 Shall we?
00:23:15 Remember me?
00:23:17 Yes.
00:23:26 Love you.
00:23:39 Your baby?
00:23:56 Are you watching for an address?
00:23:58 What block is this?
00:24:00 Very funny, Russ.
00:24:02 Will you check the map again?
00:24:03 Could that be it?
00:24:06 Eddie said there was room for a pool.
00:24:09 Get out the sunscreen.
00:24:19 Cousins!
00:24:22 What do you think?
00:24:24 Can you believe they tested H-bombs
00:24:30 I missed you so much.
00:24:39 Don't you worry about radiation?
00:24:41 All I know is my teeth
00:24:44 and my garden has 50-pound tomatoes.
00:24:49 Denny boy, come on over here!
00:24:51 Look at that view.
00:24:53 It's government property around us,
00:24:58 Look at this one.
00:25:01 They grow up so fast.
00:25:03 I tell him he'll pierce
00:25:06 but what can you do?
00:25:07 He likes eating through a straw.
00:25:09 They must make their own mistakes.
00:25:14 Does that hurt?
00:25:15 It's not bad.
00:25:17 Who's hungry?
00:25:21 Need help with the grill?
00:25:23 No, thanks. Don't have one.
00:25:33 I'll get the tongs.
00:25:40 Renewing your wedding vows?
00:25:43 Oh, that's so wonderful.
00:25:46 I wish Eddie and I had time
00:25:50 But with the constant windstorms...
00:25:53 and flash floods...
00:25:55 oppressive heat and...
00:25:57 home-schooling...
00:25:58 we don't have a minute free.
00:26:00 Can you hand me that mitt?
00:26:05 I love the kitchenette.
00:26:07 Oh, thanks.
00:26:09 Listen, things could be a lot worse.
00:26:12 Yeah, you could be pregnant again.
00:26:20 I've been...
00:26:22 earning money testing fertility drugs.
00:26:25 This one's going to be a winner.
00:26:28 Everyone loves a baby.
00:26:33 Yeah, life is good.
00:26:34 My kids are thriving.
00:26:36 Little Ruby-Sue must have grown a foot
00:26:40 Daddy, I caught another snake.
00:26:42 That's good, sweetheart.
00:26:43 Put it in the pit with the others.
00:26:46 And go work on your typing.
00:26:52 Nice kids.
00:26:55 Don't ever pick me up again...
00:26:58 jerk!
00:27:03 Look who's home!
00:27:06 This one here's my pride and joy.
00:27:10 Lord is my witness, I hate this heat!
00:27:14 If it ain't gluing your butt to a seat
00:27:18 And I want something better!
00:27:21 Hey, everybody.
00:27:23 You remember Vickie?
00:27:25 She's a dancer now.
00:27:28 Her picture's everywhere.
00:27:29 Phone booths, men's rooms...
00:27:32 She's famous.
00:27:33 Show them that little move
00:27:48 Don't think unnatural thoughts
00:27:58 She's got her mama's looks and
00:28:01 Hose down, kids! Chicken's almost ready!
00:28:04 My chicken's dry as hell.
00:28:06 Mine's dry as hell, too.
00:28:08 If you want to be with me tonight,
00:28:12 Really? That'd be great.
00:28:15 If you're still hungry,
00:28:18 As appealing as that sounds,
00:28:22 We have a lot of sightseeing to do
00:28:25 Sorry about the tablecloth. Rusty's
00:28:30 He ain't used to home cooking.
00:28:32 Are you?
00:28:35 He's sick.
00:28:36 Anyway...
00:28:38 He'll be okay.
00:28:40 I wish you two could come...
00:28:41 but no room for the kids,
00:28:44 Not so fast, Clark.
00:28:46 I'll get the babysitter.
00:28:52 Hey, kids...
00:28:53 round-up time!
00:29:01 They'll keep busy.
00:29:03 Where are we going?
00:29:06 Hoover Dam!
00:29:07 Over 1000 feet wide and
00:29:12 Where can I buy bait?
00:29:13 I love electricity.
00:29:18 What a magnificent achievement.
00:29:22 This is a family vacation.
00:29:25 Sorry, honey.
00:29:26 This way, please.
00:29:32 Welcome, everyone.
00:29:34 I am your dam guide, Arnie.
00:29:36 I'm about to take you through
00:29:41 So, please...
00:29:42 no one wander off the dam tour.
00:29:46 Please, take all the dam pictures
00:29:49 Now, any dam questions?
00:29:52 Where can I get some dam bait?
00:29:56 This way, please.
00:30:00 What'd he say?
00:30:01 This way.
00:30:05 Don't worry about water leaking
00:30:08 Please, keep up with the tour.
00:30:14 This is one of the oldest
00:30:20 Come here!
00:30:23 Give me your gum.
00:30:25 From my mouth?
00:30:26 Any gum! Look what's happening here!
00:30:29 - Here.
00:30:56 Damn it.
00:31:23 Where is the damn dam tour?
00:31:29 Oh, boy. Oh, boy.
00:31:46 And there are over 100 million tons
00:31:55 Hello. Hello.
00:31:58 Help!
00:32:20 It's not that high.
00:32:34 Okay, here we go.
00:32:36 Let's see if I've still got it.
00:32:48 Nice breeze up here.
00:32:52 That's how a power plant works.
00:32:55 How?
00:33:06 This tour gets better every week.
00:33:09 Fishing's been better.
00:33:10 Remember when I had that puffer fish?
00:33:39 Just like in gym class.
00:33:42 One hand at a time.
00:33:49 Ellen!
00:33:52 What's that?
00:34:03 Oh, my God!
00:34:07 Sorry, honey, I'll be right up.
00:34:14 This is steep.
00:34:15 Here we go.
00:34:31 Need help?
00:34:32 No, I got it.
00:34:36 That's a workout there, isn't it?
00:34:42 I almost lost my tag.
00:34:44 Drinks at the snacketeria on me.
00:35:13 I've noticed you're taking more
00:35:18 There's something
00:35:22 You see...
00:35:23 there comes a time...
00:35:25 in every young man's life when he enters...
00:35:28 the fragrant garden of beautiful flowers.
00:35:32 And he wants to enter that garden
00:35:35 a mulch...
00:35:37 to let the flowers bloom
00:35:41 Dad.
00:35:43 What?
00:35:44 If this is about sex, I already know.
00:35:47 You do?
00:35:54 Good talk, son.
00:35:57 So what's it going to be tonight?
00:36:01 "Liberace on Ice"?
00:36:02 Clark, I don't know.
00:36:07 At Hoover Dam the water /eve/
00:36:12 Thank you.
00:36:14 And now back to gamb/ing.
00:36:16 Look at this.
00:36:18 Four tickets to Wayne Newton.
00:36:21 Wayne Newton!
00:36:25 Wayne Newton?
00:36:26 That's Las Vegas, they never stop giving!
00:36:29 Hi, for Ellen Griswold?
00:36:31 I'm Mr. Ellen Griswold.
00:36:45 "Please wear this tonight.
00:36:47 "A friend. "
00:36:50 Who's it from?
00:36:52 I don't know.
00:36:55 But it's beautiful.
00:37:00 They really know how to treat
00:37:03 Okay, kids...
00:37:05 inspection in five minutes.
00:37:07 You heard him! Move it!
00:37:13 Wayne Newton just happens to be
00:37:19 He has an effect on women.
00:37:20 Yes, Griswold, Griswold.
00:37:26 Here...
00:37:28 make the seats good.
00:37:34 No gratuity is necessary, sir.
00:37:37 - No, really. Keep it.
00:37:43 We're in the front row.
00:37:44 I tipped him.
00:37:55 What energy!
00:38:01 Thank you.
00:38:03 You're a magical group of people.
00:38:06 And, Greg...
00:38:07 Give me some birds. Let me hear birds.
00:38:57 Mrs. Ellen Griswold.
00:39:00 Ellen, huh?
00:39:02 Holy crap,
00:39:06 It's all part of the act.
00:39:08 Now you.
00:39:26 I think we know who sent the dress.
00:39:32 You're lucky.
00:39:33 I've been to every Wayne show
00:39:36 I've never seen him do anything like this.
00:39:46 I'm just saying I've never heard you
00:39:50 Don't worry.
00:39:52 You have nothing to fear
00:39:55 unattainable.
00:39:57 Did you see him staring at...
00:39:58 Watch your mouth.
00:40:00 I think I'll go upstairs and take a bath.
00:40:03 Not me.
00:40:05 Anyone for craps?
00:40:06 We're too young, remember?
00:40:11 I remember when I was too young.
00:40:13 Here.
00:40:15 Take $20.
00:40:16 If you need me...
00:40:18 I'll be rolling the dice.
00:40:21 Have fun, kids.
00:40:23 - Have a nice night.
00:40:28 Daddy wants a seven! Let's go, seven!
00:40:31 Seven! A winner!
00:40:34 Place your bets. Lucky roller coming out.
00:40:37 Place your bets.
00:40:41 Let go of me! Let go of me!
00:40:45 There he is. Clark!
00:40:47 See, I told you.
00:40:49 Look out, don't hurt me now.
00:40:52 Nice place for a pearl necklace.
00:40:54 Do you know this person?
00:40:56 Hi, Clark Griswold. Nice to meet you.
00:41:00 Have you ever swam with dolphins?
00:41:02 Them things is hard to catch.
00:41:05 Twelve. Craps. A loser.
00:41:08 Has anyone ever told you before...
00:41:11 you're bad luck?
00:41:13 Those were my mother's dying words.
00:41:15 But when you got your body
00:41:19 and your foot's in a bear trap,
00:41:29 I've run out of money.
00:41:32 Only if you're staying at the hotel.
00:41:35 Indeed I am.
00:41:37 There we are.
00:41:45 No problem.
00:41:54 Good luck.
00:41:56 Look, Clark, if you're...
00:41:58 thinking about buying me
00:42:01 I won't take it.
00:42:02 I'm just trying to get even.
00:42:04 Now where can I do the most damage?
00:42:13 Shrimp cocktail, 29 cents.
00:42:18 Foxy boxing.
00:42:19 Fake IDs.
00:42:21 How'd you know?
00:42:22 When I was your age they needed
00:42:26 from the girls down at the Paramount.
00:42:28 $10. $10! $10!
00:42:30 Shrimp, ladies.
00:42:32 I need the $10.
00:42:35 Here.
00:42:36 Have a good evening, Mr. Morris.
00:42:41 Whatever.
00:42:42 - Another 21!
00:42:45 Let's see. House has 14, and house busts.
00:42:48 Oh, boy!
00:42:50 Wendy, you are my lucky charm.
00:42:52 I don't know what's wrong
00:42:56 You're rolling.
00:42:57 Good luck, everybody.
00:43:02 Good luck, everybody!
00:43:04 Batter up.
00:43:08 Big bet for a big man!
00:43:12 Sure you don't want to save money
00:43:15 Okay, wise guy.
00:43:16 Go against three hands.
00:43:20 This should be sweet.
00:43:22 Sweet for me. You're finished.
00:43:29 Straw.
00:43:32 I'm trying to concentrate.
00:43:36 That's a bigger fire than the red drink.
00:43:47 Did you come to Las Vegas
00:43:50 No, I'm on vacation with my parents.
00:43:55 Hard to believe we're related, right?
00:44:08 A drink, please.
00:44:09 Welcome. Can I see some ID?
00:44:21 I think we have a problem.
00:44:28 Good night.
00:44:35 Hey, why the long face?
00:44:37 You know that crap ID you sold me?
00:44:40 Those bums threw you out?
00:44:42 Helicopter rides to the Grand Canyon.
00:44:45 They tossed me.
00:44:49 Don't they realize what it's like to be:
00:44:54 Give me my money.
00:44:55 I'm not through with you yet. Okay?
00:44:58 You're Nick Pappagiorgio. You're from
00:45:02 Put your head in the hole
00:45:05 - Right here on the Strip?
00:45:08 You're in Vegas!
00:45:29 So you guys have been together
00:45:33 Great.
00:45:34 Will you excuse me?
00:45:43 You want to dance up here?
00:45:45 No, I don't think so.
00:45:47 Audrey, honey, let me tell you
00:45:50 In this world, you're either
00:45:54 or down in the pit serving drinks.
00:45:56 Go have fun.
00:46:25 What are you doing up there?
00:46:28 I'm starting my vacation!
00:46:34 She's going to break hearts.
00:46:36 She's going to break something.
00:47:17 Congratulations.
00:47:19 You won the car.
00:47:21 May I see some ID?
00:47:29 Where would you like the car sent,
00:47:39 Eighteen.
00:47:41 Nineteen.
00:47:42 So close.
00:47:47 I've had enough. Let's get out of here.
00:47:50 Good luck, sir.
00:47:53 Never seen such a beating since
00:47:57 and turned a monkey loose.
00:47:58 Thanks for the pick-me-up.
00:48:00 Why don't you just call it a night
00:48:03 That sounds great,
00:48:07 She must be one hell of a sleepwalker.
00:48:12 Did you record that in Germany?
00:48:15 Good night, Eddie.
00:48:17 That's how they got
00:48:20 It means "thank you. "
00:48:21 "Thank you" in German.
00:48:27 I thought you went to bed.
00:48:29 It got late. I got worried.
00:48:32 Clark, Wayne Newton.
00:48:34 Nice to meet you.
00:48:35 You're in food preservatives? What a gas.
00:48:40 I like it.
00:48:41 As I was saying...
00:48:43 You've traveled. We never go anywhere.
00:48:45 We're very boring. Usually Clark falls
00:48:50 I guess I'll go upstairs and get some sleep.
00:48:54 Let me just tip the piano player.
00:48:58 I might have... I've got a chip here.
00:49:04 Danke schön.
00:49:06 Thanks.
00:49:07 Sit down.
00:49:11 Very special lady.
00:49:14 That's why I entered into the sacred bond
00:49:18 I hear that.
00:49:20 You know, I love women.
00:49:23 I observe them.
00:49:25 I cherish them.
00:49:29 Don't let that one out of your sight.
00:49:40 Wayne has invited us to Shenandoah
00:49:45 That's my home.
00:49:46 Thank you.
00:49:47 But we have a lot of plans.
00:49:49 Don't we?
00:49:53 Oh, my God!
00:49:55 It's Wayne Newton!
00:49:59 I'm a fan, sir.
00:50:01 I'm a fan.
00:50:03 I can believe it!
00:50:04 Take my seat, Eddie.
00:50:08 Thank you for the drink.
00:50:10 Good night, Wayne.
00:50:18 Do you need a bodyguard?
00:50:20 I'd die for you.
00:50:29 Could I play $5 in coins, please?
00:50:32 I'd like to bet $5.
00:50:34 $5.
00:50:36 New roller.
00:50:37 Looks like a shooter. I'm going for it.
00:50:39 - Go for this. Go for this.
00:50:42 Come on!
00:50:44 Seven, now!
00:50:45 Seven! A winner.
00:50:48 Way to go!
00:50:51 Press it?
00:50:52 Press it?
00:50:53 I want to press this up.
00:50:55 Press it.
00:50:56 Yeah, press it.
00:50:57 Give him the dice. Come on.
00:51:02 Seven, dice!
00:51:04 Winner.
00:51:05 Fantastic!
00:51:06 He's great!
00:51:09 I'm sorry to bother you, sir.
00:51:12 ID? Sure.
00:51:16 Thank you.
00:51:22 Welcome to the Mirage, Mr. Pappagiorgio.
00:51:25 Why do they do that
00:51:29 How's Yuma?
00:51:30 It's great.
00:51:31 My wife and kids are back in Yuma,
00:51:36 In the software business.
00:51:37 Let him roll the dice.
00:51:42 No glasses tonight?
00:51:45 No, I do not require them.
00:51:48 Good luck, sir.
00:51:51 But you do.
00:51:52 - Come on!
00:51:54 Seven again! Seven again!
00:52:01 Don't wake them.
00:52:11 Forget craps, forget b/ackjack.
00:52:16 wa/k up to a baccarat tab/e and say,
00:52:21 Feeling lucky tonight, Sparky?
00:52:24 Not right now, honey.
00:52:28 Bet with the player.
00:52:32 That's not exactly what I had in mind.
00:52:35 Bet with the bank. Bet with the player.
00:52:39 Nine is a natural.
00:52:41 Bet with the bank.
00:52:42 Bet with the player. Nine is a natural.
00:52:47 Bet with the bank.
00:52:49 Bet with the player.
00:52:51 Nine is a natural.
00:52:53 Bet with the bank.
00:52:55 Eight is a winner.
00:52:57 Give me that.
00:52:59 Should we really be doing this
00:53:04 Hard six coming out.
00:53:07 Hit me.
00:53:09 Good night.
00:53:15 Do it again!
00:53:17 Do it again!
00:53:18 I'm coming out. Ready?
00:53:22 Seven out.
00:53:23 God!
00:53:26 Nice roll.
00:53:28 You did good.
00:53:30 Thank you.
00:53:31 Cash me in.
00:53:35 Kid, you made me a lot of money tonight.
00:53:39 Jilly from Philly.
00:53:40 Nick Pappagiorgio from Yuma.
00:53:42 Nick Pappagiorgio from Yuma,
00:53:46 By who?
00:53:47 By me!
00:53:48 Meet us in the spa at 10:00
00:53:51 Randy, this guy is with us.
00:53:54 We're so impressed with your play
00:53:58 Follow me.
00:54:02 And if there's anything you need,
00:54:06 Thank you!
00:54:40 Oh, my God!
00:54:48 Card counting, Clark?
00:54:50 Is that legal?
00:54:52 Sharpens the player's edge.
00:54:56 Here are the kids.
00:54:58 What happened to you last night?
00:55:02 What are you having for breakfast?
00:55:05 Coffee.
00:55:06 Three.
00:55:07 Four.
00:55:08 - Gang!
00:55:10 I had an idea. How about an "alone" day...
00:55:14 where each of us Griswolds
00:55:18 in their own way?
00:55:20 I don't think that's a good idea.
00:55:22 - Great.
00:55:24 Be back at 5:00.
00:55:27 You'll have a great time.
00:55:29 Have fun.
00:56:03 Payback time.
00:56:10 $500.
00:56:13 You don't know when to quit.
00:56:15 Chips.
00:56:16 Changing $500!
00:56:23 Here's an idea.
00:56:24 You give me half the money
00:56:29 I'll kick you in the nuts
00:56:39 Pappagiorgio...
00:56:41 enjoying the massage?
00:56:42 I'm enjoying it, Jilly. Really.
00:56:45 You know what your problem is?
00:56:49 You must learn how to relax.
00:56:51 You're right, Jilly, I do.
00:56:54 Harder on the shoulders.
00:56:56 That's it, kid.
00:56:58 Not that you got that,
00:57:07 Now aren't you a little slice of pie?
00:57:10 Are you thinking of dancing?
00:57:12 She's got a body for it.
00:57:14 I do? Thanks.
00:57:16 If you're considering it,
00:57:19 I'm going to college but hoping to do
00:57:23 Our prime years are few and fast.
00:57:25 Would've, could've, should've.
00:57:28 Show this girl something with a heel.
00:57:34 Hit me!
00:57:36 Yeah! Twenty!
00:57:41 It's 20. It's a push.
00:57:44 I didn't lose.
00:57:45 That's it, Griswold, you are freaking dead!
00:57:50 I love you, kid.
00:58:25 Outrageous. Where's the family?
00:58:28 They're busy.
00:58:30 Did I come at a bad time? Because...
00:58:33 I could just...
00:58:35 A singer's body is his instrument and
00:58:40 Come in, let's have some fun.
00:58:48 Blackjack.
00:58:49 Blackjack.
00:58:51 Six.
00:59:10 They're not bad.
00:59:12 The boys aren't much to talk to, but if
00:59:17 they're more than fine.
00:59:58 What did you say?
01:00:00 I said, "Blackjack!"
01:00:09 Changing $1,600!
01:00:14 Lunch was wonderful.
01:00:16 I hope you enjoyed the company
01:00:20 Please, madam, chin up.
01:00:24 You know...
01:00:26 I've always felt very blessed
01:00:31 But after meeting you
01:00:35 But, Wayne, you have millions of fans.
01:00:38 Please.
01:00:39 They just love my talent.
01:00:42 I feel so many things right now.
01:00:45 I wish I could spend my life with you.
01:00:49 Well...
01:00:50 we could turn the den into a guest room,
01:00:55 Clark pretty much likes the garage
01:01:05 You're too much.
01:01:08 I have something for you.
01:01:20 It's a lock of my hair.
01:01:25 Gosh!
01:01:27 It's getting late!
01:01:30 I've got to go!
01:01:32 But thank you.
01:01:35 - It's been wonderful.
01:01:38 If you have nothing to do later,
01:01:41 I'm making pasta!
01:01:48 Come on, you think this sign's here
01:01:54 What can I do with $5?
01:01:56 I don't know.
01:01:58 Buy a bullet and rent a gun?
01:02:07 See you.
01:02:08 Have a good time.
01:02:19 Good luck, sir.
01:02:21 I had a fantastic "alone" day.
01:02:26 Where'd you get that stuff?
01:02:27 At the men's store. Ask for Caesar.
01:02:31 My God!
01:02:32 Vickie took me to her stylist.
01:02:35 Did you know there were 92 muscles
01:02:39 All this time I thought I was
01:02:42 But I was dissatisfied with myself.
01:02:47 This is Larry, Kurt and Ira.
01:02:51 Nice to meet you.
01:02:53 You know what drives me crazy?
01:02:54 The baccarat tables.
01:02:56 Larry can bend his leg up
01:02:59 You should.
01:03:00 It's after-riding wear.
01:03:01 If those guys weren't bust-outs,
01:03:05 Come with me!
01:03:06 Not you!
01:03:15 I know we haven't seen a lot
01:03:18 but we're Griswolds.
01:03:20 We're on vacation.
01:03:22 And starting now, we're going
01:03:25 But, Dad, we're having a great time.
01:03:27 My sister has the legs of a thoroughbred.
01:03:30 Am I right?
01:03:31 Shut up.
01:03:33 The point is, starting now...
01:03:35 we'll have a great time together!
01:03:37 How?
01:03:39 How?
01:03:41 Well...
01:03:42 How?
01:03:47 We could all...
01:03:48 sit on a bench, as a family...
01:03:51 and watch a Vegas sunset.
01:04:00 We could count the bulbs
01:04:04 Larry's taking me to see
01:04:10 I got a thing happening downtown.
01:04:14 I mean, you know...
01:04:21 I know.
01:04:23 We can get remarried. Right now.
01:04:26 There's a honeymoon slots tournament
01:04:30 Newlyweds get in for free.
01:04:33 I've got news for you, Clark.
01:04:36 I haven't said "yes" yet.
01:04:42 If you're too busy...
01:04:43 You hang on a minute!
01:04:45 You brought us on a family vacation...
01:04:48 and we only see you on your way
01:04:52 I've invited you...
01:04:53 You find the Clark Griswold I married...
01:04:55 and tell him I'm at the Mirage!
01:04:58 Come on.
01:05:01 Don't worry about me! I got plenty
01:05:15 Which hand is it in?
01:05:19 Who wants it now? Who wants it?
01:05:21 There you go, you heathens!
01:05:24 Thanks for buying me dinner.
01:05:26 Best $1.49 buffet in town, Clark.
01:05:29 Clark, this is all you can eat.
01:05:32 We only need one plate.
01:05:44 Get me some rolls.
01:05:45 I had that last time. That's good.
01:05:47 Fresh broccoli.
01:05:50 Bless you.
01:05:51 Thank you.
01:05:53 Maybe I'll just replace these
01:05:56 How about some macaroni?
01:05:58 - That's good.
01:06:02 Some of this spaghetti bolognese here.
01:06:05 You're lucky you came on Italian night.
01:06:09 That stuff...
01:06:10 will knock your socks off.
01:06:12 This doesn't look like chicken.
01:06:15 Oh, you're right.
01:06:17 This isn't chicken. This is chicken.
01:06:20 Want some?
01:06:22 Eddie, I think I'll just be over
01:06:25 - Here, go ahead.
01:06:29 We'll have some...
01:06:32 of the yellow.
01:06:34 And don't get cheap on me.
01:06:44 This bread pudding's extra runny tonight.
01:06:47 Eddie, when you look at me,
01:06:58 Time's up, Eddie.
01:07:01 I'll tell you what you see.
01:07:03 You see a man...
01:07:04 whose family counted on him
01:07:09 And I can't do it. Because...
01:07:13 You have something on your...
01:07:18 I get it?
01:07:19 You got it.
01:07:22 I've gambled away more money
01:07:25 Try me.
01:07:32 $22,600.
01:07:34 God!
01:07:36 Oh, God!
01:07:37 Oh, God!
01:07:39 Oh, God!
01:07:42 - Oh, God!
01:07:49 I don't know what to tell Ellen.
01:07:53 If I could just get that money back,
01:07:59 You've been so good to Catherine
01:08:03 I hate to see you down.
01:08:06 I've got some...
01:08:20 money stashed away and...
01:08:23 it'd be my honor to help you
01:08:28 You mean it?
01:08:31 There's just one problem.
01:08:34 I forgot where I buried it.
01:08:38 Is it safe to be digging like this?
01:08:41 Just watch out for the scorpions.
01:08:52 I got money buried all over this yard.
01:08:57 I used to have quite a little system
01:09:00 Wait, here's something.
01:09:05 $28!
01:09:08 Got one.
01:09:09 Got one. Got one.
01:09:16 $6.
01:09:17 Yuban coffee. You can sprinkle
01:09:21 Ice cream, mashed potatoes, or eat it
01:09:28 Oh, my God.
01:09:30 There must be over $100 in here.
01:09:33 Yeah, that's from when I sold
01:09:36 We didn't need the cash at the time, but...
01:09:39 I figured with all the advances
01:09:42 I should sell it while somebody
01:09:45 The smartest thing I ever did.
01:09:48 Why do you have all this money
01:09:52 For a rainy day.
01:09:55 We don't get many of those in the desert.
01:10:02 Where's the nearest casino?
01:10:05 Hello, room service.
01:10:07 I'd like the Crab Rangoon...
01:10:09 chicken fingers...
01:10:12 the Jackpot Burger...
01:10:15 and the Tropical Banana Torte.
01:10:20 No.
01:10:21 Cancel that.
01:10:23 I'm going out.
01:10:25 I must warn you.
01:10:27 They don't play the same games here
01:10:34 Eddie, this place is great.
01:10:37 They don't play this at the Mirage.
01:10:39 Pick a number? I'm great at that.
01:10:42 Coin toss?
01:10:44 These are my games.
01:10:45 Give me $20.
01:10:47 War!
01:10:48 Russ and I play this all the time.
01:10:51 I'm in.
01:10:52 Here we go.
01:10:54 Mine.
01:10:56 That's fast.
01:10:58 Give me another $20.
01:11:02 War, bet again.
01:11:07 Mine again.
01:11:09 Maybe you should spread it around...
01:11:12 not have all your fun at one table.
01:11:19 Dealer has rock. Pay paper.
01:11:25 Call it.
01:11:26 What say we go home and
01:11:30 Heads.
01:11:32 I'm sorry, it's tails.
01:11:34 Almost.
01:11:46 No, give me that! Give me that!
01:11:49 He cheated, Eddie!
01:12:08 - Four.
01:12:13 What am I doing?
01:12:16 I need to go someplace
01:12:19 I wouldn't do that here.
01:12:21 These stalls are awfully dirty
01:12:26 I need to be alone.
01:12:30 I see.
01:12:31 Want me to come?
01:12:34 All right. Come on.
01:12:39 Come on, Clark.
01:12:40 The night is young. They're giving away
01:12:45 I'm not worthy of a sandwich.
01:12:47 I'm not a father, I'm not a husband,
01:12:50 You may feel like nothing now,
01:12:54 You used to be something.
01:12:59 Good-bye, Ellen.
01:13:01 I'm sure you'll be happy
01:13:05 Where am I going to go?
01:13:07 You can live with us right here in Vegas.
01:13:10 We'll dig you a room.
01:13:11 And Rusty and poor Audrey...
01:13:14 At night you can sit outside...
01:13:16 and you can tell us how much
01:13:19 Look at all these happy families.
01:13:23 Where did I go wrong?
01:13:29 Without my family,
01:13:32 We can go into business.
01:13:34 We can raise more snakes,
01:13:37 Yeah, that's what we could do.
01:13:39 We could have a lot of happy,
01:13:42 We'll get your money back.
01:13:46 I'm not worried about my money.
01:13:49 I don't care about it.
01:13:52 I must get my family back!
01:13:54 What about my money?
01:13:56 Stay here, I'll be back.
01:14:00 Police emergency.
01:14:06 Open up!
01:14:09 Don't be alarmed, he's with me.
01:14:17 Say, "Cheese. "
01:14:30 It's Dean Martin's recipe.
01:14:32 I always make too much.
01:14:34 Thank you for having me for dinner.
01:14:39 There's something I must tell you.
01:14:42 Oh, no.
01:14:45 Wayne, please, don't.
01:14:46 I've always been a moral man.
01:14:50 But my resolve is melting
01:14:54 Maybe you're hungry. More pasta?
01:14:57 There's Treasure Island.
01:14:58 There's Harrah's. There's the Mirage.
01:15:00 Next, Wayne Newton's house.
01:15:04 Wayne, please.
01:15:07 Please.
01:15:17 Don't worry, I'm here.
01:15:19 Get out of my way.
01:15:21 Hands off my wife!
01:15:27 Clark, it's not the way it looks.
01:15:29 We're having pasta.
01:15:32 I've been a fool.
01:15:33 And not a loveable fool who clowns
01:15:38 But a fool who's...
01:15:40 only fooling himself.
01:15:44 You're back.
01:15:45 You have got to be kidding me.
01:15:48 Why don't you go sing something?
01:15:52 I've learned that
01:15:55 when you're with your family.
01:15:59 Audrey.
01:16:00 Audrey.
01:16:01 You're my family.
01:16:03 The most important thing is for us
01:16:09 What do you say?
01:16:10 I'm with you.
01:16:12 Let's go get our kids.
01:16:20 - Is there a charge?
01:16:22 Park it.
01:16:28 Have you seen him?
01:16:29 Mr. Pappagiorgio.
01:16:31 - Lanai Six.
01:16:33 Mr. Pappagiorgio?
01:16:36 Let's go.
01:16:38 Oh, boy. Oh, boy.
01:16:46 Clark, do something.
01:16:48 Look out!
01:16:59 Oh, my little baby boy!
01:17:03 Excuse me. Excuse me!
01:17:14 Am I right?
01:17:16 Am I?
01:17:21 So I says to him, I said,
01:17:24 Oh, my Lord! Rusty!
01:17:27 You must be lost.
01:17:30 His name is not Pappagiorgio,
01:17:33 He's a C-plus student.
01:17:35 Let's go, young man!
01:17:37 Now! Get dressed!
01:17:43 I'm looking for this underage kid
01:17:46 Yes, he stole my wallet. He's back there.
01:17:51 Where's your sister?
01:17:52 She's with Vickie somewhere.
01:17:54 Where's Vickie?
01:18:09 - Mr. Pappagiorgio, your usual table?
01:18:12 You are in deep trouble, my friend.
01:18:15 Excuse me.
01:18:26 Hey, everybody!
01:18:28 Where's Audrey?
01:18:33 Oh, my God!
01:18:37 Our baby!
01:18:39 Hang on, honey,
01:18:44 Move!
01:18:46 What do you think you're doing?
01:18:47 You told me to get a summer job!
01:18:50 Ten years of tap-dancing lessons
01:18:54 Let's go!
01:18:55 Excuse me! Excuse me!
01:18:58 Come on, let's go.
01:19:11 I don't know what I was thinking.
01:19:14 When are we going?
01:19:15 Let's quit while we're ahead.
01:19:17 Ahead or behind, what does it matter?
01:19:21 We still have each other.
01:19:25 When we get home,
01:19:28 Wait a minute.
01:19:30 "I've lost most of our money"?
01:19:33 How much did you lose?
01:19:35 Well, with the checks
01:19:38 some trips to the ATM
01:19:42 I don't know...
01:19:43 $22,000, $23,000.
01:19:47 Somewhere in there.
01:19:48 What about my tuition?
01:19:50 And my snowboard?
01:19:51 We still have our love.
01:19:54 That's what I've come to realize.
01:19:57 Clark, how much money
01:20:03 I'm broke.
01:20:05 Rusty?
01:20:06 I spent it all.
01:20:09 Audrey?
01:20:11 No pockets.
01:20:15 I've got...
01:20:18 $2.
01:20:23 Get our money back.
01:20:30 There.
01:20:35 This is not the way to do this.
01:20:38 Can't we just get your parents
01:20:43 Oh, keno. This is easy. I saw this on TV.
01:20:54 Okay, you've got to pick ten numbers.
01:20:57 We must play the kids' birthdays.
01:21:00 And Dad's football number, 44.
01:21:10 Excuse me, is that your family?
01:21:14 You're a lucky man.
01:21:15 Luckiest guy on earth.
01:21:18 The grandparents' anniversary.
01:21:21 I never got married.
01:21:22 I was afraid to take the risk.
01:21:25 Beautiful children.
01:21:27 Oh, thank you. We're very blessed.
01:21:31 This thing is money, money.
01:21:33 Let me tell you something.
01:21:35 Money isn't everything.
01:21:37 I sit here alone...
01:21:39 nobody cares.
01:21:40 If I win, I have nobody to share it with.
01:21:46 You have your health.
01:21:47 It seems like you have a hobby.
01:21:49 Yeah, a hobby I got. My health?
01:21:53 If I had a family, I'd want it like yours.
01:22:00 Tonight, consider yourself
01:22:04 I'll take you up on it.
01:22:07 Really, thank you.
01:22:09 Nice of you.
01:22:10 Good luck.
01:22:11 The game's almost starting.
01:22:17 Seven.
01:22:19 It's seven.
01:22:20 It's Audrey's birthday!
01:22:22 We're going to do it!
01:22:24 Ten.
01:22:30 Fourteen.
01:22:32 Doesn't matter.
01:22:33 Even eight matches wins $15,500.
01:22:37 Twenty-two.
01:22:41 Thirty-three.
01:22:45 Eighty.
01:23:01 Your fina/ number, 54.
01:23:12 I won!
01:23:14 I won! I won!
01:23:16 I won!
01:23:19 I won!
01:23:20 I won!
01:23:22 All the years I've waited for this!
01:23:26 I've never won, never won once,
01:23:30 The money is mine. I have the money,
01:23:35 For the first time, I have the...
01:23:45 Sir...
01:23:47 are you okay?
01:23:53 Go get someone.
01:23:57 Sir.
01:24:03 Oh, my God.
01:24:05 I won!
01:24:06 I won the money! I won!
01:24:09 Did you hear me?
01:24:10 It's okay. It's here, right here.
01:24:12 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9...
01:24:15 That's wonderful.
01:24:21 That's wonderful.
01:25:00 What did he say?
01:25:02 He said, "Take the ticket. "
01:25:06 He said, "Take the ticket"?
01:25:09 I think he did.
01:25:19 He's gone.
01:25:20 There was nothing you could do.
01:25:22 We don't know his name.
01:25:24 He was Mr. Ellis.
01:25:28 He would've given anything to have
01:25:44 Jeez.
01:26:20 I hope you kids have learned something
01:26:24 No, Sparklet, don't blame the gambling.
01:26:27 Gambling is what made America great.
01:26:30 You see, kids...
01:26:31 when Columbus set sail
01:26:35 and let it ride all the way
01:26:40 Ben Franklin, Thomas Edison...
01:26:43 Albert Einstein, all gamblers.
01:26:45 Wasn't Einstein German?
01:26:47 Hard to tell from his accent.
01:26:49 But I do know one thing.
01:26:51 When a beautiful, young coed...
01:26:54 took a chance on a gangly boy
01:26:57 she was taking a gamble, too.
01:27:06 Ellen Priscilla Ruth Smith Griswold...
01:27:13 will you remarry me?
01:27:29 Ellen Griswold, do you promise
01:27:32 for as long as you live?
01:27:35 Oh, God!
01:27:41 I do.
01:27:42 Clark Griswold...
01:27:44 I love you, Eddie.
01:27:49 Do you promise to love and honor Ellen
01:27:53 I do.
01:27:55 I don't care if you ruined my life,
01:27:59 By the power vested in me...
01:28:02 by the Las Vegas Entertainers'
01:28:07 You may kiss the bride.