|
Balls Out The Gary Houseman Story
|
| 00:00:26 |
Beer and beef jerky. |
| 00:00:29 |
The breakfast of champions. |
| 00:00:33 |
Anyhoo, my name is Gary Houseman. |
| 00:00:38 |
I'm a guy who's done some hard living, |
| 00:00:40 |
and it all started with tennis. |
| 00:00:44 |
You know, tennis, the sport of kings. |
| 00:00:47 |
A game of beauty, power, grace, |
| 00:00:51 |
and all that other horseshit. |
| 00:00:54 |
I was born into a family of tennis freaks. |
| 00:00:57 |
I was brought up to love the game, |
| 00:00:58 |
whether it was played on grass, clay, |
| 00:01:06 |
wearing only our nut-huggers. |
| 00:01:08 |
My dad loved tennis. |
| 00:01:10 |
- Regular tennis... |
| 00:01:11 |
... table tennis, it didn't matter. |
| 00:01:12 |
Ball nicked. Point to Dwight. |
| 00:01:13 |
But my old man was a cheater. |
| 00:01:15 |
- Dwight wins. |
| 00:01:17 |
I fucking own you, Gary. |
| 00:01:20 |
And my brother, well, he was just a dick. |
| 00:01:23 |
They shit on my game |
| 00:01:25 |
and I never got a taste |
| 00:01:29 |
I decided then and there |
| 00:01:33 |
The taste of tennis glory. |
| 00:01:35 |
After years of climbing my way |
| 00:01:38 |
I found myself grinding it out |
| 00:01:41 |
one small step away from the big leagues. |
| 00:01:45 |
But it was hot as balls, |
| 00:01:48 |
Eventually, |
| 00:01:51 |
the pressure kind of got to me. |
| 00:01:53 |
Sorry. |
| 00:01:54 |
Based on some on-court issues |
| 00:01:58 |
I was booted off the tour. |
| 00:02:00 |
But I used my newly-found free time |
| 00:02:04 |
And also do some traveling. |
| 00:02:07 |
When I reached Nebraska, I saw a sign. |
| 00:02:11 |
And when my traveling companions |
| 00:02:14 |
Wait! |
| 00:02:15 |
... it was clearly another sign. |
| 00:02:17 |
I bought everyone beef jerky. |
| 00:02:20 |
As I stood there in that Ionely road, |
| 00:02:22 |
I realized that this was as good a place |
| 00:02:26 |
As long as I kept away from tennis |
| 00:02:30 |
everything would be fine. |
| 00:02:32 |
Not only that, the home prices in Nebraska |
| 00:02:35 |
So I became an engineer. |
| 00:02:39 |
A custodial engineer at Lincoln West High. |
| 00:02:41 |
- Nice shorts, little guy! |
| 00:02:44 |
And it's all good, |
| 00:02:45 |
just as long as tennis |
| 00:03:01 |
What the fuck? |
| 00:03:07 |
A little help? |
| 00:03:11 |
Why won't Lady Tennis leave me alone? |
| 00:03:14 |
Little help, please. |
| 00:03:32 |
All right, backhand drill. Let's go. |
| 00:03:35 |
Randy. |
| 00:03:38 |
That was terrible. |
| 00:03:40 |
Nibbins. |
| 00:03:42 |
No. Hey, the net's this way. |
| 00:03:44 |
Mike! |
| 00:03:47 |
Nice one. That's a winner. |
| 00:03:53 |
Nibby. Watch your head. |
| 00:03:55 |
Playing tennis? Or is that croquet? |
| 00:03:59 |
Don't forget to mark it on the ball. |
| 00:04:06 |
- Let's bring it in, men! |
| 00:04:11 |
Come on, Chang. |
| 00:04:14 |
All right, 10 laps around the court |
| 00:04:17 |
Nibby, let's marshal here. |
| 00:04:59 |
- Awful big forehand. |
| 00:05:03 |
I saw you hitting yesterday. |
| 00:05:06 |
You don't see strokes like that very often. |
| 00:05:08 |
Yeah. Me and tennis, we go way back. |
| 00:05:12 |
- You want the long or the short version? |
| 00:05:23 |
Grew up in a tennis family. |
| 00:05:24 |
My brother was headed for the pros |
| 00:05:27 |
According to my dad, |
| 00:05:30 |
But I was still good enough to win the top |
| 00:05:33 |
I only played with them briefly, |
| 00:05:37 |
Hey, Gary. |
| 00:05:39 |
Take that, you cheater! |
| 00:05:41 |
After leaving college, |
| 00:05:45 |
But my career was rear-ended |
| 00:05:51 |
What the fuck? |
| 00:05:52 |
Let the girl go! Let her go! |
| 00:05:55 |
Take me instead. |
| 00:05:57 |
Good God, Gary! |
| 00:06:00 |
- I don't want to talk about tennis right now. |
| 00:06:02 |
After that painful experience, |
| 00:06:05 |
I'll save you. |
| 00:06:06 |
But eventually I got my shit together. |
| 00:06:09 |
I found this kick-ass job, and here I am. |
| 00:06:11 |
Sounds like you've walked |
| 00:06:15 |
But, hell, as the old man owl says, |
| 00:06:18 |
"That's what puts hair on a man's balls." |
| 00:06:20 |
That's exactly how I see it. |
| 00:06:22 |
- I'm Lew Tuttle. |
| 00:06:25 |
So how's your squad looking? |
| 00:06:28 |
We might win one or two matches. |
| 00:06:30 |
Team captain, he's a real scrapper. |
| 00:06:32 |
Problem is, it's a big drop |
| 00:06:35 |
Makes it hard to compete |
| 00:06:36 |
against a Southpoint High slinger |
| 00:06:39 |
if he doesn't have any decent competition |
| 00:06:42 |
Yeah. |
| 00:06:47 |
Say, |
| 00:06:49 |
you wouldn't happen to be free to bang |
| 00:06:54 |
No. I'm done with tennis. |
| 00:06:56 |
Sure, I hit a few balls yesterday, |
| 00:06:59 |
Maybe tennis has been good to you, |
| 00:07:05 |
I will never go back to tennis. |
| 00:07:12 |
Ad-in. |
| 00:07:34 |
Get that bitch! |
| 00:07:38 |
Yeah! Fuck, yeah! |
| 00:07:44 |
He got you there, Mike! |
| 00:07:53 |
- Pretty prime strokes out there, Cappy. |
| 00:07:56 |
Couple points here and there, |
| 00:08:00 |
Great playing, men. |
| 00:08:02 |
Where'd you learn to hit that last one? |
| 00:08:03 |
I haven't seen a 'tweener |
| 00:08:07 |
It's a Zen thing. |
| 00:08:08 |
You gotta be in the moment, |
| 00:08:11 |
Lose your flow, huh? |
| 00:08:12 |
Hey, if you're always free at this time, |
| 00:08:15 |
I think you'd be a hell of an asset |
| 00:08:27 |
Well, I'm a little tight on time, |
| 00:09:02 |
All right, everybody, listen up. |
| 00:09:04 |
I'm sure most of you heard |
| 00:09:06 |
Mr. Houseman here is gonna be |
| 00:09:11 |
So let's all give him |
| 00:09:18 |
That's pathetic. |
| 00:09:21 |
Okay, everyone, let's warm up. |
| 00:09:30 |
Coach, I've worked out some drill patterns |
| 00:09:33 |
that I think |
| 00:09:36 |
Son of a bitch! |
| 00:09:42 |
Look at that little dandy. |
| 00:09:44 |
I've told him a hundred times, |
| 00:09:45 |
I don't want to see |
| 00:09:48 |
Nibby, one hand, God damn it! |
| 00:09:50 |
That boy doesn't have |
| 00:09:55 |
Say, can you hold down the fort? |
| 00:09:58 |
You bet. |
| 00:10:01 |
Sorry about that. |
| 00:10:06 |
So, are you, like, the only tennis groupie |
| 00:10:13 |
I've been around the tennis scene |
| 00:10:16 |
Believe me, |
| 00:10:20 |
What I don't know is which one of |
| 00:10:23 |
And I need to know that |
| 00:10:26 |
Really? |
| 00:10:28 |
Actually, I'm Jenny Tuttle. |
| 00:10:30 |
I work in the training room after school |
| 00:10:31 |
and then I come down here |
| 00:10:34 |
Oh, shit. I'm sorry. |
| 00:10:37 |
You're a Tuttle, huh? |
| 00:10:40 |
I didn't mean to imply that you look |
| 00:10:43 |
I guess I'm the dickhead on this one. |
| 00:10:46 |
- I'm Gary, by the way. |
| 00:10:48 |
- School's new janitor, right? |
| 00:10:50 |
I take both jobs seriously. |
| 00:10:52 |
The school has been looking |
| 00:10:56 |
Thank you. |
| 00:10:58 |
Gary, you are the man. |
| 00:11:00 |
It's only taken you a few short weeks |
| 00:11:07 |
Damn, beer is good. |
| 00:11:10 |
Coach Tuttle has given you a shot |
| 00:11:13 |
Cherish it. |
| 00:11:14 |
He's Simon, you're Garfunkel |
| 00:11:17 |
and together you're about to make |
| 00:11:24 |
We've had a lot of fun |
| 00:11:27 |
but I can't spend the whole term |
| 00:11:32 |
The discussion today is triangles. |
| 00:11:38 |
So... |
| 00:11:41 |
Who can tell me the difference |
| 00:11:47 |
Yeah. |
| 00:11:48 |
All three sides of an equilateral triangle |
| 00:11:51 |
and each corner has a 60-degree angle. |
| 00:11:54 |
An isosceles triangle, |
| 00:12:20 |
What's going on? |
| 00:12:23 |
- Mr. Tuttle's dead! |
| 00:12:27 |
He was just explaining isosceles |
| 00:12:32 |
I don't understand. Triangles? |
| 00:12:34 |
He just dropped! |
| 00:12:37 |
Make a path! Get out of my fucking way! |
| 00:12:41 |
What the fuck! |
| 00:12:44 |
- Hey! |
| 00:12:46 |
Give me the fucking things! You know, |
| 00:12:49 |
- He's been gone for 20 minutes. |
| 00:12:52 |
You medevac in a baboon's heart |
| 00:12:54 |
I'm sorry, sir. You have to step back. |
| 00:12:58 |
Clear a path. |
| 00:13:02 |
Coming through. |
| 00:13:04 |
Come back, Coach. |
| 00:13:10 |
And, obviously, we're all stunned |
| 00:13:12 |
Lew was the real deal. |
| 00:13:14 |
They broke the mold |
| 00:13:17 |
I understand Lew appointed you |
| 00:13:19 |
- Yes, sir. |
| 00:13:21 |
That'll make the transition a lot easier |
| 00:13:24 |
Gary, I've appointed Steve to be head coach. |
| 00:13:27 |
Unfortunately, Steve doesn't know |
| 00:13:29 |
or any other sport, for that matter. |
| 00:13:30 |
Well, you know, actually, |
| 00:13:34 |
in that they both use rackets, |
| 00:13:37 |
But, he's the only faculty member |
| 00:13:40 |
so, he's in. |
| 00:13:41 |
I'm sorry I couldn't promote you |
| 00:13:43 |
City rules dictate that all head coaches |
| 00:13:46 |
But you can make this a lot easier |
| 00:13:50 |
He ran a tight ship. |
| 00:13:51 |
So, I want the two of you |
| 00:13:56 |
Amy, what are you doing here? |
| 00:13:57 |
- Sorry, Daddy, I had to leave school. |
| 00:14:00 |
I'm pregnant, |
| 00:14:03 |
Amy, do you remember what Dr. Saxena said |
| 00:14:06 |
But I'm not lying! |
| 00:14:07 |
And last month you had AIDS? |
| 00:14:09 |
That prostitute made me shoot up |
| 00:14:12 |
I don't want my baby to have the AIDS! |
| 00:14:15 |
That's why I need an abortion! |
| 00:14:16 |
Honey, I'm in the middle of something here. |
| 00:14:18 |
Why don't you wait outside with Meg |
| 00:14:22 |
Okay. |
| 00:14:23 |
That's right, sweetie, stay with me. |
| 00:14:26 |
- How old is she? |
| 00:14:28 |
That's a fun age. |
| 00:14:30 |
Anyway, this isn't football, |
| 00:14:31 |
so no one's gonna be overly concerned |
| 00:14:34 |
Let's just try to make tennis |
| 00:14:37 |
while they deal with their coach's death. |
| 00:14:42 |
- Well, yeah, certainly death is not an easy... |
| 00:14:47 |
Mr. Daubert's exactly right! |
| 00:14:50 |
Tennis won't die on them. |
| 00:14:56 |
Well, I never meant to suggest |
| 00:15:01 |
I'm just saying that every life form expires, |
| 00:15:05 |
and it's not easy for other organisms |
| 00:15:10 |
in the vicinity of the dying party. |
| 00:15:18 |
- Jenny, can you get the door? |
| 00:15:23 |
Hi, Jenny. I'm so sorry. |
| 00:15:26 |
- I brought your family some chocolates. |
| 00:15:29 |
- Jenny, who is it? |
| 00:15:33 |
And the new head coach. |
| 00:15:37 |
Yes? |
| 00:15:38 |
I like them short. |
| 00:15:42 |
Yes? |
| 00:15:45 |
Hi. |
| 00:15:50 |
God damn it! Doesn't make any sense! |
| 00:15:55 |
I'm just worried about the boys. |
| 00:15:57 |
Coach T. Left shoes too big |
| 00:16:00 |
and here my assistant and I... |
| 00:16:02 |
Do you know Steve Pimble? |
| 00:16:03 |
I believe our eldest |
| 00:16:06 |
- Your eldest? Son or daughter? |
| 00:16:08 |
- He's a freshman at the U. |
| 00:16:11 |
Will he coach tennis after college? |
| 00:16:13 |
I don't think so. Brad's pre-med. |
| 00:16:28 |
Yes! |
| 00:16:31 |
Yeah! |
| 00:16:33 |
Well, the world needs doctors, too. |
| 00:16:37 |
Anyway, I just thought I would ask, |
| 00:16:39 |
and please stop me |
| 00:16:42 |
I was hoping that Coach T. Had some |
| 00:16:44 |
or anything that might help our transition. |
| 00:16:46 |
I remember that he had a student |
| 00:16:50 |
That would be great. |
| 00:16:52 |
Jenny, grab the sun tea off the porch |
| 00:17:03 |
Down! Down! Get off! |
| 00:17:28 |
Here you go. |
| 00:17:32 |
Thank you. |
| 00:17:33 |
So, Jenny, |
| 00:17:36 |
And I just want you to know |
| 00:17:37 |
that if you ever want to hang around |
| 00:17:40 |
or if you need a ride home, or anything, |
| 00:17:43 |
I don't love tennis. |
| 00:17:46 |
You at least like it, though, right? |
| 00:17:49 |
I like watching it, I guess. |
| 00:17:52 |
Volleyball's more my sport. |
| 00:17:53 |
- Court or sand? |
| 00:17:55 |
I'm more of a sand man, myself. |
| 00:17:56 |
In fact, I was partying with the Dominican |
| 00:18:01 |
and we were just completely |
| 00:18:03 |
and these two little nymphos walked by |
| 00:18:05 |
and they were like, |
| 00:18:09 |
I'm sorry, Jenny, that was probably not |
| 00:18:13 |
So do you play on the volleyball team? |
| 00:18:15 |
I played in junior high, |
| 00:18:22 |
Thanks. |
| 00:18:25 |
Are those Coach Tuttle's dogs? |
| 00:18:26 |
Yes, they are. Were. |
| 00:18:29 |
They're quite a handful, |
| 00:18:32 |
They're just so big. |
| 00:18:34 |
May I pet them? |
| 00:18:49 |
Whether it was on the court or off the court, |
| 00:18:55 |
No matter if they were in his class, |
| 00:18:58 |
or just needed someone to talk to, |
| 00:19:00 |
Coach T. Always made them a priority. |
| 00:19:03 |
If they needed him, he was there. |
| 00:19:06 |
He was unique, and he was an original. |
| 00:19:09 |
I want to thank you all for being here today. |
| 00:19:11 |
Please sign the memorial book |
| 00:19:13 |
This will conclude our service. |
| 00:19:33 |
I remember the first time that I saw Coach T. |
| 00:19:37 |
He was on the court, |
| 00:19:42 |
My God, what a presence! |
| 00:19:45 |
Next day, I met him. |
| 00:19:47 |
He told me this was his year. |
| 00:19:49 |
With this group of boys, |
| 00:19:53 |
and bring home the Ark of the Covenant, |
| 00:19:59 |
Like Moses, Coach T. Will not see |
| 00:20:04 |
But I want him to know |
| 00:20:07 |
And with the help of his guiding spirit, |
| 00:20:10 |
we will bring home the state trophy |
| 00:20:12 |
where Coach always knew it belonged. |
| 00:20:19 |
God bless you, Coach T. |
| 00:20:23 |
We will always... |
| 00:20:25 |
We will always... |
| 00:20:28 |
God damn you, heaven, you son of a bitch! |
| 00:20:31 |
We're gonna miss the shit out of you, |
| 00:20:35 |
He was a good man. |
| 00:20:41 |
Maybe the best. |
| 00:21:34 |
I love Mike. |
| 00:21:37 |
I boss tennis. |
| 00:21:42 |
What? |
| 00:21:46 |
I have... |
| 00:21:51 |
bandana. |
| 00:21:57 |
I'm sorry to interrupt. |
| 00:21:59 |
I'm Gary, the new tennis coach. |
| 00:22:05 |
May I borrow Mike for a few minutes? |
| 00:22:10 |
Yes. Mike... |
| 00:22:12 |
Yes. |
| 00:22:14 |
Yes. |
| 00:22:22 |
- She's really hot. |
| 00:22:24 |
- What's her name? |
| 00:22:31 |
- You banging her? |
| 00:22:35 |
So I've been watching some of your |
| 00:22:38 |
Watch this and tell me what's wrong. |
| 00:22:43 |
Get your damn head in the game! |
| 00:22:44 |
Yeah, Mike. Pull your damn head |
| 00:22:46 |
- My approach shot was down the middle? |
| 00:22:49 |
And forget that bullshit about |
| 00:22:52 |
Down the middle takes away passing angles. |
| 00:22:54 |
- My approach shot was too soft? |
| 00:22:56 |
I should've sliced my approach |
| 00:22:58 |
Forget the fucking approach shot! |
| 00:23:03 |
You run to the net like a maniac. |
| 00:23:06 |
Do you know what a split-step is? |
| 00:23:07 |
- I'm not sure. |
| 00:23:11 |
Okay, I start off to the net, |
| 00:23:13 |
and just as my opponent hits the ball, |
| 00:23:16 |
Now, I can volley in any direction. |
| 00:23:18 |
And if the cocksucker decides to get tricky |
| 00:23:21 |
my momentum is already stopped |
| 00:23:23 |
and I can just back-pedal into |
| 00:23:27 |
End of story. |
| 00:23:31 |
Okay. Yeah, I'll work on that. |
| 00:23:33 |
Good, because |
| 00:23:35 |
you've got to take out |
| 00:23:38 |
By the way, was that your dad |
| 00:23:40 |
Yeah. He's pretty competitive. |
| 00:23:42 |
- And the boy? |
| 00:23:46 |
I've been there, man. |
| 00:23:48 |
You were at that match? |
| 00:23:49 |
No, I mean I had a dad with a cob up his ass |
| 00:23:54 |
Anyways... |
| 00:24:01 |
Now, Miss Sanchez. Portuguese. |
| 00:24:05 |
Thank you for waiting. |
| 00:24:08 |
Yeah, give me two cheeseburgers, |
| 00:24:14 |
three large fries |
| 00:24:19 |
- Would you like a hot apple pie with that? |
| 00:24:23 |
Here we go, Gary. |
| 00:24:26 |
I feel awesome. |
| 00:24:29 |
And this food is so damn tasty. |
| 00:24:32 |
And you better believe this meal's |
| 00:24:35 |
as it did going in. |
| 00:24:43 |
Come on, guys. Bring it in, men. |
| 00:24:50 |
In my hand I hold every match score sheet |
| 00:24:53 |
this team has played in |
| 00:24:56 |
Seven years ago, you qualified for state |
| 00:25:01 |
Rad. That's your one and only |
| 00:25:03 |
Anyone want to go through your lowlights? |
| 00:25:09 |
Nibby! What is all this? |
| 00:25:12 |
Our records? |
| 00:25:14 |
- How about it, Chang? |
| 00:25:17 |
Well, I guess that's true. |
| 00:25:19 |
Cappy, what the hell is all this crap? |
| 00:25:22 |
- The past. |
| 00:25:26 |
Yes, it's shit. But it's past shit. |
| 00:25:29 |
Does anyone wanna know what I think |
| 00:25:32 |
Raise your hand if you want to know |
| 00:26:07 |
- What do you think about that, Cappy? |
| 00:26:10 |
A purging! That's what we need! |
| 00:26:14 |
We've got a little Cherokee spirit |
| 00:26:16 |
- Come on, you feel that, Nibby? |
| 00:26:19 |
That's what I'm talking about! |
| 00:26:22 |
A fucking fresh start, Chang! |
| 00:26:23 |
- Fuck, yeah! |
| 00:26:27 |
- Coach Tuttle would have understood. |
| 00:26:29 |
Sometimes we need to mold beauty |
| 00:26:33 |
That said, I still should have immediately |
| 00:26:39 |
No problem at all. You know |
| 00:26:43 |
I'm glad you've got confidence |
| 00:26:46 |
That'll help me sleep at night. |
| 00:26:47 |
Hey, and tell your old man |
| 00:26:49 |
It's been 20 years |
| 00:26:51 |
- All right, I'll tell him, Mr. D. |
| 00:26:55 |
Is this an emergency, Steve? |
| 00:26:56 |
No, not an emergency, necessarily, |
| 00:27:00 |
- He vomited. |
| 00:27:04 |
Mr. Daubert's office. |
| 00:27:06 |
He's a pretty busy guy. |
| 00:27:08 |
I liked your energy out there today, guys, |
| 00:27:10 |
but energy and motivation |
| 00:27:12 |
A lot of you boys are weak. Physically. |
| 00:27:15 |
Especially in those little chopsticks |
| 00:27:18 |
Can't do anything in tennis |
| 00:27:23 |
Coach P. Is going to jump on my back. |
| 00:27:28 |
Come on, Coach, go ahead. |
| 00:27:31 |
Get up. |
| 00:27:36 |
Okay, guys, pair up! |
| 00:27:38 |
Fifty Popeyes each. One, two, three. |
| 00:27:44 |
- Feel that burn, Cappy? |
| 00:27:47 |
Actually, Steve, |
| 00:27:51 |
Steve! Can you get off my back? |
| 00:27:55 |
What the... |
| 00:27:59 |
You guys keep going. |
| 00:28:00 |
It's gonna be a tough season, men. |
| 00:28:02 |
You're gonna have to dig deep |
| 00:28:05 |
Wipe that goddamn smile |
| 00:28:07 |
I'm not talking about muff diving here. |
| 00:28:17 |
Come on, Chang! |
| 00:28:28 |
- God damn it! |
| 00:28:36 |
Oh, boy. |
| 00:28:37 |
This team really sucks. |
| 00:28:40 |
Cappy, move your legs. |
| 00:28:42 |
Nibby, what are you doing? |
| 00:28:45 |
Move your hand down the shaft. |
| 00:28:47 |
Right foot forward. All right. |
| 00:28:50 |
Yeah. You know what? |
| 00:28:56 |
Jenny sure looks down. |
| 00:28:58 |
But, Gary, sometimes |
| 00:29:01 |
And right now, you need to focus |
| 00:29:04 |
Yeah! |
| 00:29:15 |
Close means squat. You've got to teach |
| 00:29:32 |
- That's the win. |
| 00:29:34 |
- Yeah! |
| 00:29:37 |
It always feels good |
| 00:29:40 |
But I think we may be a player short |
| 00:29:43 |
It might be time for Plan |
| 00:29:48 |
But you've got to admit, Gary, |
| 00:29:50 |
And it sure is nice to see |
| 00:29:56 |
Excuse me, Jenny. God damn this cold. |
| 00:30:00 |
You won't be late for dinner |
| 00:30:03 |
No, I'm fine. |
| 00:30:04 |
Great. I'll just be a minute. |
| 00:30:10 |
So, Mike, how's your |
| 00:30:13 |
We're two and three now. |
| 00:30:16 |
Right. |
| 00:30:22 |
- Hello, is Mike Jenson there? |
| 00:30:25 |
- Hello? |
| 00:30:27 |
You're not gonna believe this. |
| 00:30:28 |
Here we got fucking Southpoint on Friday |
| 00:30:32 |
but I was calling to tell you the news. |
| 00:30:34 |
You remember that foreign exchange |
| 00:30:36 |
The 20-year-old Swede? |
| 00:30:38 |
No, no, no. That fell through. The other one. |
| 00:30:41 |
- I thought you said you were misled. |
| 00:30:45 |
Turns out he's the fricking junior |
| 00:30:48 |
He never played tennis, but he must have |
| 00:30:51 |
He's on an overnight layover in the tropics, |
| 00:30:54 |
I just need a damn host family. |
| 00:30:59 |
- I don't think so. |
| 00:31:02 |
My dad doesn't like foreigners. |
| 00:31:05 |
All right. See you, Cappy. |
| 00:31:09 |
- Who the hell was that? |
| 00:31:13 |
The janitor? |
| 00:31:15 |
Sorry about the extended pit stop. |
| 00:31:17 |
- What's in the bag? |
| 00:31:21 |
Hey, hey! Let me have that! |
| 00:31:25 |
Why did you buy condoms? |
| 00:31:27 |
Well... Jenny, |
| 00:31:32 |
- Have you taken Health class yet? |
| 00:31:35 |
No. Yeah. It's... |
| 00:31:38 |
- Please don't open that. |
| 00:31:40 |
Nobody in particular. I just realized I'm out. |
| 00:31:44 |
Gross! Why does it have ruffles? |
| 00:31:47 |
Those are called ribs, Jenny, |
| 00:31:51 |
- These are for pervs. |
| 00:31:54 |
You know what? This is awkward, okay? |
| 00:31:56 |
You really shouldn't be touching that |
| 00:31:58 |
And it smells funny. |
| 00:32:07 |
- Thanks for the ride. |
| 00:32:11 |
Yeah, I'll see you later! |
| 00:32:16 |
I shouldn't even be looking. |
| 00:32:19 |
Fifteen will get you 20. |
| 00:32:22 |
Know what I mean? |
| 00:32:25 |
Yeah. |
| 00:32:28 |
So when is your dad getting back? |
| 00:32:30 |
When his research is going well, sometimes |
| 00:32:34 |
- Where's your mom? |
| 00:32:36 |
- In China? |
| 00:32:48 |
My grandpa used to play tennis in Hanoi. |
| 00:32:53 |
Okay. |
| 00:32:57 |
- What the fuck you doing? |
| 00:32:59 |
Jesus H., Chang! You're not gonna win |
| 00:33:03 |
God damn it! |
| 00:33:04 |
He looks like a goat! |
| 00:33:09 |
He really does, doesn't he? |
| 00:33:16 |
- I'll spot you five minutes. |
| 00:33:22 |
- Checkmate. |
| 00:33:24 |
You fucked me up |
| 00:33:29 |
- What the fuck is he laughing at? |
| 00:33:32 |
Look, Chongers. |
| 00:33:33 |
Now, I pulled some strings with Congo Air |
| 00:33:34 |
to get this Filipino kid here |
| 00:33:37 |
But I need a goddamn host family. |
| 00:33:39 |
- So, is your dad gonna step up or what? |
| 00:33:42 |
It's kind of last minute, |
| 00:33:46 |
Well, shit, ask your grandpa, then. |
| 00:33:49 |
Grandpa... |
| 00:33:50 |
Gary wants to know... |
| 00:33:52 |
if his friend can stay with us for a few days? |
| 00:33:58 |
Where I grew up we had eight |
| 00:34:01 |
Now we have too many rooms... |
| 00:34:04 |
Gary, your friend can stay here! |
| 00:34:13 |
He says okay. |
| 00:34:16 |
Thank you. |
| 00:34:33 |
Man, I'm sick of being sick. |
| 00:34:36 |
But at least on the tennis front |
| 00:34:39 |
That Filipino ringer you wrangled |
| 00:34:42 |
So just be Zen, Gary. |
| 00:34:44 |
Drink up your patented Houseman |
| 00:34:46 |
and let life's juices flow. |
| 00:35:21 |
For the love of Christ, Jones and Nibbins, |
| 00:35:23 |
don't fucking shy away |
| 00:35:37 |
God damn it! |
| 00:35:45 |
Jones! Nibbins! |
| 00:35:46 |
Hey, Gary! What are you doing? |
| 00:35:48 |
Why the fuck are you two |
| 00:35:51 |
- We're not. |
| 00:35:53 |
watching you two shy away from every |
| 00:35:56 |
Tell me you haven't! Say it! |
| 00:35:58 |
- We haven't. |
| 00:36:05 |
- Gary... |
| 00:36:11 |
That hurt? |
| 00:36:16 |
Hey, hey. Hey, stop crying. |
| 00:36:19 |
- Nibbins, look at me. Are you hurt? |
| 00:36:22 |
- Jonesy, you hurt? |
| 00:36:24 |
You see? There's nothing to be scared of. |
| 00:36:26 |
It's just a little yellow ball. |
| 00:36:28 |
- Stings though, don't it? |
| 00:36:30 |
Listen, when you're at the net |
| 00:36:32 |
and some jokester is taking target practice |
| 00:36:35 |
He can't hurt you. |
| 00:36:36 |
And if you stay on top of the goddamn net, |
| 00:36:41 |
You can see that tennis |
| 00:36:44 |
- Yeah. |
| 00:36:48 |
Sorry about that, Coach. |
| 00:36:50 |
Except for Jones and Nibbins, it looks like |
| 00:36:53 |
Thanks. |
| 00:36:55 |
Don't look so worried. My fever broke. |
| 00:37:04 |
Attention, students. |
| 00:37:05 |
- Hey, how you doing? |
| 00:37:07 |
Hey, Mr. Daubert, do you have a minute? |
| 00:37:12 |
- Is there a problem? |
| 00:37:15 |
- Well, yes, sort of. |
| 00:37:17 |
There just seems to be |
| 00:37:20 |
Been some wrong things with the tennis |
| 00:37:23 |
As a matter of fact, they've pretty much |
| 00:37:26 |
- Get that History grade up, Jeffrey. |
| 00:37:28 |
- Well, that's not what I mean. |
| 00:37:32 |
Well, it's Gary. There was an incident |
| 00:37:35 |
He was only wearing an athletic supporter |
| 00:37:37 |
and he was hitting the boys |
| 00:37:39 |
Not the blind boy. |
| 00:37:41 |
No, no. He was hitting our boys. You know. |
| 00:37:46 |
I see. |
| 00:37:50 |
Hey, listen, if you happen |
| 00:37:53 |
would it possible to not discuss |
| 00:37:57 |
No problem, Steve. |
| 00:37:58 |
I mean, I got budget cuts up the ass, |
| 00:38:02 |
and my daughter subscribes |
| 00:38:05 |
But don't worry, Steve, |
| 00:38:08 |
Jesus, I never had you pegged |
| 00:38:11 |
Hey, how you doing? |
| 00:38:13 |
Okay. |
| 00:38:16 |
Look out, Johnny, |
| 00:38:18 |
can suck the skin off a potato. |
| 00:38:21 |
- I gotta go to class. |
| 00:38:24 |
But don't let me catch you |
| 00:38:28 |
Nibby, what the fuck? |
| 00:38:30 |
You just open wide |
| 00:38:32 |
- Tit for fucking tat! |
| 00:38:35 |
Fucking A, Nibbins! |
| 00:38:37 |
- I can't. |
| 00:38:39 |
You don't do something right now, |
| 00:38:40 |
I'm gonna fucking yank you from the team, |
| 00:38:42 |
I got no fucking time for pansies! |
| 00:38:49 |
Dick! |
| 00:38:52 |
Hey! What the fuck is going on? |
| 00:38:54 |
That kid just knocked my shit on the floor. |
| 00:38:57 |
Why you grabbing his ass, quarterback? |
| 00:38:59 |
You like little boys' tight assholes? |
| 00:39:02 |
Man, I know some mean muchachos |
| 00:39:05 |
who wouldn't think twice about putting |
| 00:39:09 |
and shoving a fucking shiv |
| 00:39:17 |
Hey, QB, good luck |
| 00:39:20 |
Pitch the ball every once in a while |
| 00:39:22 |
You do know you have the option |
| 00:39:25 |
That's why it's called an option. |
| 00:39:41 |
Hello, señor Houseman. How are you today? |
| 00:39:45 |
Hello. |
| 00:39:46 |
How are you? |
| 00:39:47 |
Very well. |
| 00:39:50 |
So, señor Houseman, |
| 00:39:54 |
Lived in México for a few years. |
| 00:39:57 |
Not only handsome, but a man of the world. |
| 00:40:00 |
A rare combination |
| 00:40:02 |
Yes. To like coffee... |
| 00:40:07 |
So, I saw that we're both signed up |
| 00:40:10 |
- Sí. Sí. Yes, I... |
| 00:40:14 |
You know, it's like... |
| 00:40:18 |
You know what I mean? |
| 00:40:20 |
I gotta Ping-Pong airport later. |
| 00:40:24 |
You know? |
| 00:40:32 |
It's all coming together, Gary. |
| 00:40:34 |
The seeds of romance have been planted. |
| 00:40:36 |
Now we'll see if that Filipino |
| 00:40:45 |
At least there's something to be said |
| 00:40:50 |
That's it, Gary. Get it all out of your system. |
| 00:41:02 |
That was just a little psych-ops mission. |
| 00:41:05 |
I don't know what they told you about us |
| 00:41:07 |
but America isn't all cream cakes |
| 00:41:13 |
I'm sorry you had to watch me drop a heavy |
| 00:41:17 |
Number one singles for Southpoint, |
| 00:41:22 |
Number one singles for West, |
| 00:41:26 |
You shouldn't have shit on our courts. |
| 00:41:28 |
- What? |
| 00:41:29 |
Players, the match begins now. |
| 00:41:34 |
This is not Ping-Pong, Maricar! |
| 00:41:54 |
It's over. |
| 00:41:56 |
- A lot of tennis to be played. |
| 00:42:00 |
Come on, Ronny. |
| 00:42:05 |
Damn it, Paul! |
| 00:42:06 |
If you're gonna be the team videographer, |
| 00:42:10 |
Come on, man! Tennis Filming 101! |
| 00:42:15 |
What a beautiful day. |
| 00:42:17 |
It was so kind of you to stop by |
| 00:42:20 |
My pleasure. |
| 00:42:34 |
- What's Nibbins' score? |
| 00:42:36 |
I've got to change the MO. |
| 00:42:40 |
The kid's foot-faulting! |
| 00:42:42 |
- Who? |
| 00:42:43 |
Tommy Tremble, bro! |
| 00:42:47 |
Coach, you're out of line. |
| 00:42:49 |
If you have a complaint against Tommy, |
| 00:42:53 |
No wonder Southpoint never loses. |
| 00:42:57 |
That's enough, Coach. |
| 00:43:00 |
Fine! I'm already gone! |
| 00:43:04 |
- What happened? |
| 00:43:06 |
Said I have five minutes |
| 00:43:09 |
Bring them home, Coach. |
| 00:43:13 |
Where you going, Gary? |
| 00:43:14 |
I'm still having some issues |
| 00:43:18 |
Oh, God. |
| 00:43:22 |
Oh, no! |
| 00:43:24 |
Life's nothing |
| 00:43:27 |
That's why tonight |
| 00:43:30 |
and sweep Miss Sanchez |
| 00:43:44 |
Punch. |
| 00:43:47 |
So, you win big matches? |
| 00:43:49 |
From what I saw |
| 00:43:53 |
I'm sorry to hear that. |
| 00:43:56 |
You can call me Norma, señor Houseman. |
| 00:43:59 |
So... Hey, you want to go out there and... |
| 00:44:03 |
Yes? |
| 00:44:09 |
Thanks for the punch. |
| 00:44:13 |
Hello, Miss Sanchez. |
| 00:44:16 |
So, maybe I could start stopping by |
| 00:44:22 |
No. I don't like waste time. |
| 00:44:25 |
So, what was the final damage with |
| 00:44:31 |
4-6, 5-7. |
| 00:44:32 |
Hey, not bad. It's not a win, but not bad. |
| 00:44:37 |
Jesus, Cappy, why aren't you out in your car |
| 00:44:39 |
getting your dinky stinky |
| 00:44:43 |
What is that? Punch? |
| 00:44:44 |
I'm a little thirsty. |
| 00:44:48 |
Ask someone to dance! Jesus! |
| 00:44:53 |
"would you like to dance with me?" |
| 00:44:56 |
Or, you know, Sally, or Betsy. |
| 00:45:05 |
Hey, what about her? |
| 00:45:08 |
- Yeah, right. |
| 00:45:12 |
- But I don't know any moves. |
| 00:45:15 |
This isn't Soul Train, man. |
| 00:45:21 |
Watch. I'll show you. |
| 00:46:26 |
So, Jenny, I thought you were having |
| 00:46:29 |
but then I look over, and poof, |
| 00:46:32 |
Things have just gotten really heavy, |
| 00:46:35 |
- It's hard to explain. |
| 00:46:39 |
I mean, I've never lost a parent, |
| 00:46:43 |
But that's a whole other kettle of fish. |
| 00:46:57 |
Jenny. |
| 00:47:00 |
Hey. |
| 00:47:06 |
It's natural to want... You know? |
| 00:47:10 |
I mean, losing your dad, and I'm older... |
| 00:47:14 |
I know I'm sexy. |
| 00:47:17 |
It's just been really hard without him, |
| 00:47:23 |
Oh, hell. |
| 00:47:29 |
There you go. |
| 00:47:34 |
Jenny, I don't think |
| 00:47:40 |
It's really not a good idea. |
| 00:47:44 |
I'm sorry. |
| 00:47:48 |
Breathe into the pain, Jenny. |
| 00:47:52 |
Breathe into the pain. |
| 00:47:54 |
Jesus! |
| 00:47:59 |
Fucking guy. |
| 00:48:04 |
Coach Tuttle's Rottweilers! Knock it off! |
| 00:48:12 |
- May I have a word, Gary? |
| 00:48:14 |
I was just informed you were caught |
| 00:48:15 |
dry-humping Jenny Tuttle |
| 00:48:17 |
Who told you that damn lie? |
| 00:48:19 |
It was an anonymous phone call, Gary. |
| 00:48:21 |
Of course not! |
| 00:48:23 |
If you say you got an anonymous |
| 00:48:26 |
No, I mean do you deny |
| 00:48:29 |
God, yes! |
| 00:48:31 |
- I'm suspending you from the team. |
| 00:48:34 |
Look, Gary, I like you. You've got cojones. |
| 00:48:37 |
- Fish? |
| 00:48:41 |
But the shit keeps rolling downhill. |
| 00:48:43 |
My ex-wife, these budget cuts, |
| 00:48:45 |
But, we just got to win one out of the next |
| 00:48:49 |
Then we make Coach Tuttle's dream |
| 00:48:51 |
I just can't be dealing |
| 00:48:54 |
I'm sorry. |
| 00:48:58 |
Maricar! Inside! Inside! |
| 00:49:03 |
Damn it, Gary, this is exactly |
| 00:49:05 |
I thought he was staying with the Changs. |
| 00:49:07 |
So did I! His grandpa was on board. |
| 00:49:13 |
Let's go, Amy! Stop playing with the dogs! |
| 00:49:19 |
Who got dry-humped, Daddy? |
| 00:49:25 |
So it's really not a big deal. |
| 00:49:26 |
Actually, I wanted to focus more |
| 00:49:29 |
so the timing of this thing is pretty good. |
| 00:49:33 |
- Pretty good. |
| 00:49:37 |
Hey, I've got some weekend |
| 00:49:49 |
Let's go. Come on. |
| 00:49:52 |
Come on, let's go. |
| 00:49:55 |
Well, you guys should probably pair up |
| 00:50:02 |
If you have to know, Nibbins, |
| 00:50:05 |
finger-blasting Mike's Spanish teacher |
| 00:50:09 |
Is that what you wanted to hear, Nibbins? |
| 00:50:14 |
Sorry. |
| 00:50:17 |
You guys will be fine without me. |
| 00:50:20 |
Cappy? |
| 00:50:23 |
You could've been a champion. |
| 00:50:41 |
- One, two, three, four, five, six, seven... |
| 00:50:51 |
Fore! |
| 00:51:06 |
Move it! |
| 00:51:08 |
- Sit the fuck down! |
| 00:51:10 |
Fuck the Huskers! Fuck football! |
| 00:51:15 |
- You big fucker! |
| 00:51:41 |
Maricar? What are you doing here? |
| 00:51:46 |
Gary? Are you in there? |
| 00:51:50 |
Gary? |
| 00:51:52 |
So you're just gonna run away? |
| 00:51:55 |
I told your dad |
| 00:51:59 |
Now I've lost my team, |
| 00:52:01 |
and broken my promise to the only man |
| 00:52:05 |
My dad's gone |
| 00:52:09 |
You're a damn quitter, Gary, and I hate you. |
| 00:52:27 |
Awful big forehand. |
| 00:52:28 |
Hey, if you're always free at this time, |
| 00:52:32 |
I think you'd be a hell of an asset |
| 00:52:35 |
I like them short. |
| 00:52:41 |
I just wanted one! |
| 00:52:45 |
One goddamn stick of winner's jerky. |
| 00:52:47 |
I'm so sleepy. |
| 00:53:04 |
Dig deep, Gary. |
| 00:53:06 |
Come on, Coach. |
| 00:53:12 |
- It's time to change the mold. |
| 00:53:20 |
It's beautiful, isn't it? |
| 00:53:26 |
I love you. |
| 00:53:35 |
Daddy? |
| 00:53:39 |
It doesn't take a Ph.D. In dreamology |
| 00:53:43 |
You got to get back on the team |
| 00:53:44 |
if they're going to have a chance |
| 00:53:46 |
It's also clear you need Jenny and Maricar |
| 00:53:50 |
I just don't see where... |
| 00:53:53 |
Wait. Found it! |
| 00:53:56 |
It feels a lot worse than it looks. |
| 00:53:58 |
- So have you talked to Gary lately? |
| 00:54:01 |
I kind of got mad at him yesterday. |
| 00:54:04 |
Well, he hasn't said a word to me |
| 00:54:07 |
- How's it going with Pimble? |
| 00:54:10 |
I mean, we were all pumped |
| 00:54:13 |
and now we're all bummed out |
| 00:54:17 |
So I saw you dance with Molly Sharpe |
| 00:54:20 |
Is it nice and tight, or all loose and floppy? |
| 00:54:23 |
I don't... |
| 00:54:25 |
Floppy? |
| 00:54:27 |
You know, I didn't... |
| 00:54:29 |
Molly and I are just friends, and... |
| 00:54:32 |
Your shoe. You should keep it |
| 00:54:38 |
Right. |
| 00:54:40 |
Nice. Nice call. |
| 00:54:43 |
Well, I should get back to practice. |
| 00:54:46 |
Hey, by the way, |
| 00:54:50 |
Prime, huh? |
| 00:54:56 |
So, boys, I know we've had |
| 00:54:59 |
but I don't think |
| 00:55:02 |
So I think we should do some push-ups, |
| 00:55:06 |
Coach Houseman said |
| 00:55:08 |
Why not? |
| 00:55:10 |
Is there any chance Coach Houseman |
| 00:55:12 |
I think we should just focus |
| 00:55:20 |
Everybody down. |
| 00:55:22 |
Maricar, everybody. |
| 00:55:26 |
Hey. Hey, buddy? Lower to the ground, |
| 00:55:30 |
God damn it. |
| 00:55:33 |
Coach P. Should know better |
| 00:55:36 |
The last thing a tennis player needs |
| 00:55:40 |
I feel better than I can ever remember. |
| 00:55:42 |
Coach Tuttle may well be |
| 00:55:45 |
Miss Sanchez! I'm really glad to see you. |
| 00:55:49 |
- I wanted to ask you for a favor. |
| 00:55:52 |
I hear the kids whisper |
| 00:55:56 |
They say we play the sexy fingers at dance. |
| 00:56:01 |
- Kids! |
| 00:56:02 |
No! |
| 00:56:05 |
Yes. I'm sorry. |
| 00:56:07 |
I made up that stupid story as an excuse |
| 00:56:11 |
Well, this very stupid. It's no nice for me |
| 00:56:13 |
and my reputation |
| 00:56:17 |
You're definitely right. I'm really sorry. |
| 00:56:19 |
And it's interesting |
| 00:56:21 |
because I wanted to ask you a favor |
| 00:56:24 |
You know Jenny Tuttle, right? |
| 00:56:25 |
Yes, I know Jenny Tootle. |
| 00:56:29 |
Would you ask her to try out |
| 00:56:31 |
She's had a rough year, and it would mean |
| 00:56:35 |
Okay, señor Houseman. Maybe I do this. |
| 00:56:39 |
- But no more stories, okay? |
| 00:56:47 |
I like the sexy fingers. |
| 00:57:02 |
What's happening here? |
| 00:57:16 |
Jenny. |
| 00:57:18 |
- Gary? |
| 00:57:22 |
- What are you doing in here? |
| 00:57:25 |
- Would you like one? |
| 00:57:27 |
On the house. |
| 00:57:31 |
I'm sorry about last night. |
| 00:57:35 |
I don't hate you, Gary. |
| 00:57:39 |
That's good to hear, |
| 00:57:41 |
You said that Mr. Daubert |
| 00:57:43 |
Yeah. |
| 00:57:44 |
Do you think you could get your mom |
| 00:57:47 |
Yeah, I'll ask her to. |
| 00:57:51 |
- I'm glad you're no quitter, Gary. |
| 00:58:06 |
Yes, I believe her when she says |
| 00:58:10 |
But that's not the point, Phyllis. |
| 00:58:13 |
If he screws up, |
| 00:58:17 |
I know in my heart |
| 00:58:23 |
Can you feel it? |
| 00:58:26 |
Yes, I think I can. |
| 00:58:29 |
Look, the point is, the tennis team |
| 00:58:29 |
Look, the point is, the tennis team |
| 00:58:33 |
So, why don't we just cancel |
| 00:58:35 |
and funnel their budget |
| 00:58:38 |
that we supposedly can't afford? |
| 00:58:41 |
- Yeah! |
| 00:58:43 |
All right, people, settle down. |
| 00:58:47 |
Okay, Maricar. Again. |
| 00:58:53 |
I rob Couch Hoseman. |
| 00:58:59 |
"I love Coach Houseman"! |
| 00:59:01 |
I lub Hooch Cooseman. |
| 00:59:04 |
Do we have any tennis boosters here |
| 00:59:20 |
Okay. Steve, want to add something here? |
| 00:59:30 |
Well, you know, I don't think |
| 00:59:34 |
We've actually won quite a few matches, |
| 00:59:36 |
and the boys seem to be learning |
| 00:59:40 |
And as far as Gary's suspension goes, |
| 00:59:44 |
well, the boys actually seem to miss him. |
| 00:59:51 |
He's prone to outbursts, |
| 00:59:54 |
Come to think of it, |
| 00:59:56 |
I think we made a pretty damn good |
| 00:59:58 |
Let's watch the language, Steve. |
| 01:00:01 |
"I love Coach Houseman." |
| 01:00:07 |
I rob House Couchman. |
| 01:00:16 |
- "I... |
| 01:00:18 |
- "...love... |
| 01:00:21 |
- "...Coach... |
| 01:00:23 |
- "...Houseman." |
| 01:00:27 |
So I suggest we give them |
| 01:00:30 |
by reinstating Gary as assistant. |
| 01:00:32 |
If they fail to qualify for state, |
| 01:00:34 |
we'll cut the team |
| 01:00:36 |
- Any objections? |
| 01:00:39 |
Good Lord! Can we move on to football? |
| 01:00:41 |
Now, you've scheduled |
| 01:00:44 |
Now, that's seven hours away... |
| 01:00:47 |
I rub Crotch Horseman! |
| 01:01:01 |
I think we're actually gonna do it! |
| 01:01:04 |
Play it cool, Steve. |
| 01:01:08 |
You got to learn to start |
| 01:01:14 |
Yeah! We're going to state, baby! |
| 01:01:18 |
Oh, my hammy. |
| 01:02:05 |
Jesus, Nibby! I set you up perfectly! |
| 01:02:09 |
Why the hell didn't you accept |
| 01:02:10 |
from a sexy girl like Jenny Tuttle? |
| 01:02:12 |
I don't know. I just didn't. |
| 01:02:14 |
Were those jocks right? |
| 01:02:15 |
- Are you some kind of fag? |
| 01:02:17 |
Hey, if you are, you are. |
| 01:02:21 |
But you're in the ninth grade. |
| 01:02:23 |
You've got plenty of time |
| 01:02:25 |
If you want to come out of the closet, great. |
| 01:02:28 |
Play it cool, man. Just do your own thing. |
| 01:02:31 |
When you get to college, |
| 01:02:34 |
But I don't think that I'm gay. |
| 01:02:37 |
Hell, you can still have sex |
| 01:02:40 |
Just spin her over and pretend |
| 01:02:43 |
- But I... |
| 01:02:46 |
- Go, Cherokees, go! Go, Cherokees, go! |
| 01:02:51 |
And this makes five years in a row |
| 01:02:52 |
that our football warriors |
| 01:02:55 |
What's up? |
| 01:02:56 |
Let's give them one more Cherokee cheer! |
| 01:03:12 |
I almost forgot. |
| 01:03:15 |
so let's give them a round of applause, |
| 01:03:23 |
I'll take it from here. |
| 01:03:34 |
Allow me to introduce to you |
| 01:03:36 |
public enemy number one, |
| 01:03:38 |
Southpoint High's Tommy Tremble. |
| 01:03:40 |
And now meet the team |
| 01:03:43 |
Your Cherokee Tennis starting lineup! |
| 01:03:46 |
And let's not forget |
| 01:03:48 |
Coach Steve "The Bunsen Burner" Pimble. |
| 01:03:54 |
And I'm Coach Gary Houseman, |
| 01:03:59 |
that you've just been introduced to the next |
| 01:04:04 |
And tomorrow I expect |
| 01:04:06 |
to call in sick and come support our squad! |
| 01:04:32 |
Bitch! |
| 01:04:44 |
The pep rally was a total success. |
| 01:04:48 |
My only concern is where Mike's head is at. |
| 01:04:51 |
Ready to be a champion? Be a man? |
| 01:04:54 |
Maybe Coach P. And I |
| 01:05:00 |
Coach, I don't think |
| 01:05:03 |
- Why not? You an informer? |
| 01:05:06 |
Actually, I probably shouldn't be drinking |
| 01:05:10 |
You two need to fucking relax. |
| 01:05:14 |
This is exactly why I called you here, Cappy. |
| 01:05:16 |
- To drink a beer? |
| 01:05:20 |
- By drinking a beer? |
| 01:05:24 |
By understanding |
| 01:05:26 |
by that little piece of shit Tommy Tremble. |
| 01:05:28 |
Well, I don't think I've been intimidated. |
| 01:05:30 |
Well, you haven't beaten him yet, have you? |
| 01:05:34 |
And that's why you gotta drink a fucking |
| 01:05:56 |
Hey, Gary, I thought you said it was |
| 01:05:59 |
- We got to hide this stuff. |
| 01:06:05 |
Hi. |
| 01:06:07 |
- Hello, boys. I'm Steffi Nash. |
| 01:06:10 |
Whatever. |
| 01:06:13 |
You gotta take that thing off. |
| 01:06:16 |
Okay. |
| 01:06:20 |
Tunes. |
| 01:06:22 |
No, this is who you need to focus on. |
| 01:06:33 |
Okay. Gary, I think I'm just gonna head out. |
| 01:06:36 |
No way. Just stay for one song and a beer. |
| 01:06:39 |
Don't set a puss example for Cappy. |
| 01:06:41 |
We're trying to make a man of him, |
| 01:07:04 |
Feels awesome, doesn't it? |
| 01:07:23 |
Yeah. |
| 01:07:24 |
I'll change the tape. |
| 01:07:26 |
Hey, Coach? I think I got to get going. |
| 01:07:30 |
- We have her for another 20 minutes. |
| 01:07:33 |
Proud of you, Cappy! |
| 01:07:37 |
Why don't you take those pants off? |
| 01:07:40 |
I left my comb in my car. |
| 01:07:43 |
Sweet dreams, Coach. |
| 01:07:48 |
All right, Steffi Nash. Buckle up |
| 01:07:52 |
Okay, sweetie. |
| 01:08:03 |
Okay! I'm definitely bleeding! |
| 01:08:09 |
State. It's a two-day tournament, gentlemen. |
| 01:08:12 |
You can't win it on the first day, |
| 01:08:15 |
We've got to start strong |
| 01:08:19 |
Okay, when we get out of the van, |
| 01:08:22 |
We go straight into our pattern. Got it? |
| 01:08:25 |
Let these babies fly during our pattern. |
| 01:08:28 |
When you all get out, leave the doors open. |
| 01:09:03 |
Damn it, Coach P! Get them up! Up! |
| 01:09:10 |
Attaboy, Coach. |
| 01:09:11 |
That's what I'm talking about. |
| 01:09:16 |
Up top, Cappy! |
| 01:09:24 |
How long before you do |
| 01:09:26 |
Got this one, plus two more I'm doing |
| 01:09:28 |
so I'd say about an hour. |
| 01:09:31 |
These don't have any broken strings. |
| 01:09:33 |
For big tournaments, |
| 01:09:37 |
- Fucking prima donna. |
| 01:09:43 |
Yes! |
| 01:10:12 |
Great day today, guys. |
| 01:10:14 |
Good match, Chongers. |
| 01:10:16 |
Nice job, Paul. |
| 01:10:18 |
Hey, Cappy, hold up a minute. |
| 01:10:21 |
But it's day two that counts. |
| 01:10:23 |
You beat Tommy, and tomorrow |
| 01:10:26 |
Hey, Coach? Why do you respect |
| 01:10:31 |
I mean, I think he was a nice guy |
| 01:10:34 |
but you seem to really look up to him. |
| 01:10:38 |
Cappy, if God didn't exist, |
| 01:10:42 |
would you invent him? |
| 01:10:45 |
I'm not sure. Why? |
| 01:10:49 |
Never mind. Doesn't matter. God does exist. |
| 01:10:52 |
And Coach Tuttle really was a good man. |
| 01:10:58 |
You're gonna do great tomorrow. |
| 01:11:29 |
Coach, will you run them through |
| 01:11:35 |
Yeah, okay. |
| 01:11:37 |
Okay, boys. Don't forget your tennis rackets. |
| 01:11:40 |
Or your balls. Tennis balls. |
| 01:11:42 |
- Hey, old timer, how you doing? |
| 01:11:45 |
Good. |
| 01:11:46 |
Well, looks like you got your hands full |
| 01:11:49 |
Yeah. |
| 01:11:50 |
We're warming up next to Southpoint. |
| 01:11:53 |
- Sure. Saves me a trip. |
| 01:12:01 |
Hey, so the guys are outside warming up. |
| 01:12:05 |
I got to tell you, Mike is really... |
| 01:12:07 |
Hey, are those Tommy's rackets? |
| 01:12:09 |
I need you to guard the door |
| 01:12:11 |
don't let anybody in. |
| 01:12:12 |
- What's going on? |
| 01:12:14 |
- Watch the fucking door! |
| 01:12:17 |
Forget about the fucking rackets, |
| 01:12:18 |
and for once this season, step up |
| 01:12:21 |
Can you do that? |
| 01:12:30 |
Tangible contribution? |
| 01:12:46 |
Gary, what's happening here? |
| 01:12:53 |
Brian saw you in the locker room |
| 01:12:56 |
You're a fucking cheater, man! |
| 01:12:58 |
I didn't shave your strings! |
| 01:13:04 |
Okay, so I shaved a few strings. |
| 01:13:09 |
- Fucking cheater, man! |
| 01:13:22 |
- The hell were you doing in there, man? |
| 01:13:25 |
- But Tommy's rackets... |
| 01:13:27 |
Relax. I didn't do anything to the rackets. |
| 01:13:31 |
I just needed to clear my head. |
| 01:13:50 |
I couldn't find Tommy anywhere. |
| 01:13:52 |
Yeah, I figured. |
| 01:13:55 |
You must have just missed him. |
| 01:13:56 |
Well, I'll just leave his sticks here, then. |
| 01:14:02 |
Nice young man. |
| 01:14:04 |
I can't believe Nibby and Jones. |
| 01:14:09 |
Good luck today, Mike! |
| 01:14:11 |
Gracias. |
| 01:14:12 |
Okay. Get your mind off of |
| 01:14:17 |
- I am focused. |
| 01:14:22 |
- I bet she's got puffy nipples. |
| 01:14:26 |
- Nothing. |
| 01:14:30 |
- Do you think I can win? |
| 01:14:34 |
No, I mean do you really think it? |
| 01:14:41 |
Look at me, Cappy. |
| 01:14:43 |
Don't you fucking worry about what I think, |
| 01:14:46 |
or your dad thinks, |
| 01:14:49 |
Worry about how deep you're gonna dig. |
| 01:14:51 |
Worry about not leaving that goddamn court |
| 01:14:53 |
until you've donated a pint |
| 01:14:55 |
to the green fucking pavement out there! |
| 01:14:57 |
Whether you can win or not. |
| 01:14:59 |
Worry about that when it's over. |
| 01:15:01 |
- Got it? |
| 01:15:11 |
He's never gonna win. |
| 01:15:26 |
Gentlemen. Two out of three sets. |
| 01:15:29 |
If you split the first two, you'll receive |
| 01:15:33 |
This match will determine |
| 01:15:39 |
- Any questions? |
| 01:15:41 |
Okay. Begin! |
| 01:15:50 |
Let's go, Tommy! |
| 01:15:52 |
Settle down. |
| 01:15:58 |
Take it to him, Mike! |
| 01:16:08 |
Deuce. |
| 01:16:12 |
- Sweet! |
| 01:16:14 |
- Out! |
| 01:16:17 |
The call stands. |
| 01:16:22 |
Jesus Christ, Ump! |
| 01:16:24 |
Whose dick do we have to suck |
| 01:16:29 |
That's a warning, Coach. |
| 01:16:36 |
Easy, big fellow. Easy. |
| 01:16:41 |
Quiet down, please. |
| 01:16:54 |
That's it, Cappy! No free points! |
| 01:16:59 |
Game Tremble. |
| 01:17:00 |
The score for first set tie-breaker |
| 01:17:09 |
Shit! What the fuck? |
| 01:17:11 |
Have some respect for the game, please! |
| 01:17:14 |
Warning, Southpoint. |
| 01:17:18 |
Cappy! |
| 01:17:20 |
Stand inside the service box for the return. |
| 01:17:23 |
His serve will hit my feet! |
| 01:17:26 |
Am I the fucking coach of this team or not? |
| 01:17:33 |
Go for it, Tommy! |
| 01:17:34 |
Five serving six. Set point, West. |
| 01:17:41 |
Out! |
| 01:17:42 |
Damn it, Tommy! Don't kill it! Just get it in! |
| 01:17:45 |
Second service. |
| 01:17:53 |
Yes! |
| 01:17:55 |
First set goes to Lincoln West. |
| 01:18:06 |
Game Tremble. |
| 01:18:10 |
Come on, keep that leg loose, Cappy! |
| 01:18:13 |
Set point, Southpoint. |
| 01:18:22 |
Second set goes to Tremble. |
| 01:18:24 |
Players, you've got 15 minutes |
| 01:18:29 |
Hey! |
| 01:18:31 |
What the hell happened out there? |
| 01:18:32 |
- His leg's cramping. |
| 01:18:35 |
Let's stay positive! |
| 01:18:39 |
You actually think he can beat Tommy |
| 01:18:40 |
after shitting all over the court |
| 01:18:43 |
Nobody's shitting on anybody's courts! |
| 01:18:45 |
I don't know what match you were watching, |
| 01:18:47 |
- but from where I was standing, it sure... |
| 01:18:49 |
I'm about to play the biggest set of tennis |
| 01:18:52 |
Is that okay with you, Dad? |
| 01:18:53 |
Or would you like me to run away |
| 01:19:03 |
Pretty impressive back there, Cappy. |
| 01:19:05 |
I don't think I could have said that |
| 01:19:08 |
- Thanks, Coach. |
| 01:19:11 |
We've got to get your core body temp down. |
| 01:19:15 |
- Take your clothes off. |
| 01:19:18 |
Come on! Hurry! We only have |
| 01:19:21 |
- No, no, I don't... |
| 01:19:23 |
- Okay! Okay, I'll do it. |
| 01:19:35 |
You get back out there, you get to the net |
| 01:19:38 |
You don't have the legs |
| 01:19:41 |
- Okay. |
| 01:19:43 |
Come in tight and cut off his angles. |
| 01:19:47 |
Show him how the big boys play hardball. |
| 01:19:49 |
Okay. |
| 01:19:50 |
Cappy, you pull this off, |
| 01:19:51 |
I'll pay Steffi Nash to let you do her |
| 01:19:55 |
That's enough. We're late. |
| 01:20:03 |
- Cappy! |
| 01:20:06 |
You can't put those sweaty clothes back on. |
| 01:20:10 |
- Wear mine. |
| 01:20:13 |
- Please, don't make me do that. |
| 01:20:16 |
This is state, God damn it! |
| 01:20:20 |
- Those aren't fresh! |
| 01:20:24 |
Put them on. |
| 01:20:32 |
Oh, God. |
| 01:20:49 |
Game, West. |
| 01:21:02 |
Game, Southpoint. |
| 01:21:19 |
Shit! Jenny, we need a trainer! |
| 01:21:21 |
- How long for an injury time-out? |
| 01:21:24 |
If your player cannot continue, it's a default. |
| 01:21:30 |
- Is he still locked up? |
| 01:21:32 |
Shit! |
| 01:21:34 |
God damn it! We got a man down out there |
| 01:21:36 |
and you guys are just sitting around |
| 01:21:39 |
- What should we do? |
| 01:21:40 |
You're so ever-loving smart, figure it out! |
| 01:21:43 |
Grow a pair and do something! |
| 01:21:45 |
Come here, come here. Come here. |
| 01:21:46 |
Damn it, Cappy. This is it. Get up, man! |
| 01:21:57 |
- Come on, Mike! |
| 01:22:00 |
- Let's go, Son! |
| 01:22:02 |
Mikey... Get back up! |
| 01:22:05 |
Mike! Mike! |
| 01:22:10 |
Mike, you bitch! Get up |
| 01:22:14 |
And make him lick his own shit |
| 01:22:21 |
She really misses her mother. |
| 01:22:32 |
It's time to Cherokee it up, God damn it. |
| 01:22:36 |
Come on, Mike. |
| 01:22:39 |
Jesus, man! Put that thing in its holster! |
| 01:22:42 |
Sorry, Coach. She's got great hands. |
| 01:22:47 |
Time. Resume play. |
| 01:22:48 |
It's almost over. You got him, buddy. |
| 01:22:54 |
Find me, Mike. |
| 01:22:57 |
I'm in the now. |
| 01:22:59 |
Be here. Lose your flow. |
| 01:23:07 |
Thirty all. Quiet, please. Quiet. |
| 01:23:17 |
Thirty serving 40. |
| 01:23:20 |
Cappy! |
| 01:23:21 |
Not like that. Not on match point. Back it up. |
| 01:23:28 |
Out. |
| 01:23:29 |
Second service. Match point, West. |
| 01:23:47 |
Get there, bitch. |
| 01:23:55 |
Game, set, match, West High! |
| 01:23:59 |
Holy shit! |
| 01:24:00 |
Yeah! |
| 01:24:03 |
He did it! |
| 01:24:04 |
- Nice match. Way to dig deep. |
| 01:24:07 |
Mike did it! |
| 01:24:17 |
We're the winning team! |
| 01:25:03 |
Hey, Coach. |
| 01:25:05 |
- Why the long face, Gary? |
| 01:25:08 |
I've just been so focused |
| 01:25:13 |
Now that I have, where do I go from here? |
| 01:25:17 |
I can't tell you where to go, Gary. |
| 01:25:20 |
But I can tell you one thing. |
| 01:25:26 |
Days of youth fondly remembered, |
| 01:25:31 |
those are worth something. |
| 01:25:33 |
Those are worth a hell of a lot. |
| 01:25:36 |
- You're a good coach, Gary. |
| 01:25:39 |
Maybe the best. |
| 01:26:23 |
We rub Crotch Horseman! |
| 01:26:30 |
No! No, Maricar! No! The lid! The lid! |
| 01:26:58 |
Life is just so crazy, Gary. |
| 01:27:00 |
You came to Nebraska |
| 01:27:03 |
Yet here you are, |
| 01:27:07 |
You big beautiful old lug. |
| 01:27:09 |
Mrs. Tuttle was so lucky to have you. |
| 01:27:12 |
Gary, never forget |
| 01:27:14 |
That life is short, |
| 01:27:18 |
Tennis, while it is the sport of kings, |
| 01:27:23 |
Miss Sanchez! |
| 01:27:26 |
I like you Miss Sanchez... |
| 01:27:32 |
Will you meet me at... |
| 01:27:35 |
Chi Chi's tonight at 8:30... |
| 01:27:38 |
for margaritas and chimichangas? |
| 01:27:41 |
With much pleasure Mr. Houseman. |
| 01:27:48 |
Gary, after you marry Norma Sanchez, |
| 01:27:52 |
I bet you'd turn some dead-end dipshit |
| 01:27:56 |
Damn, it's fucking bright out here! |
| 01:28:09 |
I love you guys. |
