|
Balls of Fury
|
| 00:00:54 |
1936, Jesse |
| 00:00:59 |
And now in 1988, |
| 00:01:02 |
US table tennis champion, |
| 00:01:05 |
You've seen him in Sports lllustrated, |
| 00:01:09 |
You may even already own his |
| 00:01:13 |
The golden boy who iced |
| 00:01:17 |
and checked off Czechoslovakia |
| 00:01:21 |
So why don't we take a moment |
| 00:01:25 |
Here he is showing us his skills |
| 00:01:28 |
that's won him |
| 00:01:31 |
With him, as always, his coach and father, |
| 00:01:36 |
Randy, you're only 12 years |
| 00:01:39 |
that your name |
| 00:01:40 |
of the greatest Ping-Pong |
| 00:01:44 |
And right offhand, I don't |
| 00:01:47 |
Randy, the eyes of all America, |
| 00:01:51 |
will be on you tonight. |
| 00:01:53 |
USA! USA! USA! |
| 00:01:55 |
2.45 am. The moment |
| 00:01:57 |
The men's table tennis |
| 00:02:00 |
Tiny balls, bouncing for gold. |
| 00:02:02 |
USA! USA! USA! |
| 00:02:04 |
Now, presenting |
| 00:02:08 |
Randy Daytona! |
| 00:02:10 |
Here he is, |
| 00:02:11 |
entering to his unofficiaI |
| 00:02:14 |
by the super group |
| 00:02:17 |
I love you, Randy! |
| 00:02:22 |
Hey, big guy, I just want |
| 00:02:24 |
Have you seen my dad? |
| 00:02:25 |
No. |
| 00:02:30 |
Where were you? |
| 00:02:31 |
You think I'd miss this? |
| 00:02:39 |
You didn't put money on this, |
| 00:02:42 |
Dad, you promised. |
| 00:02:44 |
Try not to think about it, |
| 00:02:45 |
Now, presenting East Germany, |
| 00:02:48 |
KarI Wolfschtagg! |
| 00:02:55 |
Deutschland! Deutschland! |
| 00:03:14 |
May the best man win, huh? |
| 00:03:19 |
I will destroy him! |
| 00:03:21 |
Beat that Kraut! |
| 00:03:40 |
Breathtaking |
| 00:03:44 |
as Daytona and Manslaughter |
| 00:03:49 |
Daytona's in the groove. |
| 00:03:54 |
Both men distancing themselves |
| 00:03:57 |
There's a high elevation lob. |
| 00:04:01 |
And a smash by Manslaughter. |
| 00:04:11 |
One more smash! |
| 00:04:16 |
Farther back! |
| 00:04:19 |
Back! |
| 00:04:21 |
And the crowd rises |
| 00:04:25 |
He stretches. |
| 00:04:26 |
Look out! |
| 00:04:28 |
Shit! |
| 00:04:33 |
Randy? Randy? You okay? |
| 00:04:36 |
Randy? Randy? |
| 00:04:38 |
Randy Daytona, |
| 00:04:42 |
Match forfeit to East Germany. |
| 00:04:52 |
Randy? |
| 00:04:54 |
I'm going to Disneyland! |
| 00:05:08 |
Come on, guys. |
| 00:05:10 |
Mr. Feng does not |
| 00:05:17 |
Gentlemen, time is money. |
| 00:05:19 |
Chop-chop. |
| 00:05:22 |
Jesus! |
| 00:05:25 |
Well, that's the way |
| 00:05:28 |
As Reno's golden boy was |
| 00:05:31 |
and if he lives to be 100, he'll |
| 00:05:35 |
If he returns to America, |
| 00:05:42 |
Two tickets to paradise! |
| 00:05:45 |
Won't you pack your bags? |
| 00:05:49 |
I got... |
| 00:05:54 |
I got... |
| 00:06:00 |
Let's go to heaven |
| 00:06:06 |
Yeah! Thank you! |
| 00:06:08 |
Take a bow, honey. |
| 00:06:10 |
There she is! |
| 00:06:12 |
All right, let's keep the love |
| 00:06:15 |
The Peppermill's |
| 00:06:19 |
Randy Daytona! |
| 00:06:21 |
Come on, let's bring him out. |
| 00:06:28 |
How's everybody feeling |
| 00:06:36 |
All right! |
| 00:06:58 |
I don't want to work. |
| 00:07:01 |
I just want to bang on these |
| 00:07:13 |
Hey! |
| 00:07:16 |
Thank you! |
| 00:07:22 |
Hey, a volunteer! |
| 00:07:25 |
I was just going |
| 00:07:31 |
Stop! |
| 00:07:35 |
Thank you! |
| 00:07:41 |
We're in the biz |
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to bring the bewonderment of |
| 00:07:49 |
so they will stay for the |
| 00:07:53 |
Not to give them |
| 00:07:57 |
Sorry, Rick. |
| 00:08:00 |
I know because you're fired. |
| 00:08:04 |
Get your stink out |
| 00:08:11 |
Sorry, Randy. |
| 00:08:13 |
But some agent |
| 00:08:16 |
Maybe he missed the show. |
| 00:08:22 |
Thank you, Bethany. |
| 00:08:24 |
My name's Sarah. |
| 00:08:27 |
Are you kidding me? |
| 00:08:29 |
You've called me Bethany for |
| 00:08:35 |
Mr. Daytona? |
| 00:08:37 |
Ernie Rodriguez, FBl. |
| 00:08:39 |
Oh, God! I didn't mean |
| 00:08:42 |
How could I know that |
| 00:08:44 |
That's not why I'm here. |
| 00:08:45 |
Hey, actually, I thought |
| 00:08:49 |
Till the paramedics showed up, |
| 00:08:52 |
Well, am I in |
| 00:08:53 |
No. |
| 00:08:54 |
I came to ask you |
| 00:08:56 |
The FBl needs you to take part |
| 00:08:59 |
One that calls for a man |
| 00:09:09 |
I'm not joking, man. |
| 00:09:11 |
Come on, man. You got a |
| 00:09:13 |
Cut it out. |
| 00:09:17 |
Fake gun and everything. |
| 00:09:24 |
Now why don't you put on |
| 00:09:26 |
and we'll go for a ride. |
| 00:09:32 |
ERNIE: The man with the |
| 00:09:33 |
I think you'll want |
| 00:09:36 |
His name is Mr. Feng. |
| 00:09:37 |
Mr. Feng? |
| 00:09:40 |
That's the guy |
| 00:09:42 |
I know. |
| 00:09:43 |
His face |
| 00:09:46 |
This sketch is based on the |
| 00:09:50 |
Wait a minute, |
| 00:09:52 |
George Takei? Mr. Sulu? I know. |
| 00:09:55 |
ERNIE: We have reason to |
| 00:09:58 |
some kind of a major shipment |
| 00:10:00 |
And what, man? What do |
| 00:10:03 |
What you were born to do. |
| 00:10:05 |
You see, Randy, |
| 00:10:07 |
He played for the Chinese |
| 00:10:09 |
Now every five years |
| 00:10:12 |
A high-stakes tournament, |
| 00:10:14 |
Invitation only. |
| 00:10:16 |
His men go to tournaments |
| 00:10:18 |
searching for |
| 00:10:20 |
You see that gold paddle? |
| 00:10:24 |
You, Randy, |
| 00:10:27 |
I'm not a spy, man. |
| 00:10:29 |
Look, you don't have to do |
| 00:10:31 |
You go to a few tournaments |
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If you're as good |
| 00:10:34 |
I'm sure |
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Look, this year Feng's |
| 00:10:38 |
of the international |
| 00:10:40 |
Randy, something big's |
| 00:10:42 |
Here's the thing. |
| 00:10:45 |
I do matinee shows. I get |
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Mr. Daytona, you're the only |
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I've been authorized |
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anything in the government's |
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You don't get it, do you, man? |
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Okay? |
| 00:11:00 |
Maybe I never should have. |
| 00:11:16 |
Caucasians. |
| 00:11:18 |
Hey, Dad. I'm sorry I |
| 00:11:24 |
And again, I'm sorry about abbreviating |
| 00:11:29 |
The numbers were, like, 100 bucks a |
| 00:11:47 |
Excuse me? |
| 00:11:48 |
Excuse me! |
| 00:11:50 |
The new slide's |
| 00:11:53 |
What are you gonna do? They sold |
| 00:11:57 |
They sold the air rights |
| 00:11:59 |
It's a pretty okay water slide, |
| 00:12:03 |
I guess it's a theme |
| 00:12:08 |
Look out! |
| 00:12:15 |
All right. I'm in. |
| 00:12:57 |
I love that smell. |
| 00:12:58 |
Good to be back |
| 00:13:03 |
I meant pancakes. |
| 00:13:05 |
I love the smell of pancakes. |
| 00:13:07 |
Okay, you're not here |
| 00:13:08 |
All right? You're here to win. |
| 00:13:10 |
What, do you think Feng |
| 00:13:12 |
No, but you got to win here |
| 00:13:14 |
You are gonna win, right? |
| 00:13:16 |
I can take these punks. |
| 00:13:19 |
All right, first up |
| 00:13:23 |
Randy Daytona |
| 00:13:26 |
versus our four-time |
| 00:13:30 |
The Hammer. |
| 00:13:59 |
I don't know what the hell |
| 00:14:01 |
I'm still trying to figure out |
| 00:14:16 |
No mercy, Randy. |
| 00:14:41 |
Have your grandma |
| 00:14:57 |
Can you dig it? |
| 00:15:09 |
Tastes good. |
| 00:15:15 |
11 to 3! |
| 00:15:17 |
I told you I was rusty. I |
| 00:15:20 |
Why don't you cut me |
| 00:15:22 |
I need some time to warm up. |
| 00:15:24 |
Time we don't have. Feng's |
| 00:15:27 |
Man, I got to get you |
| 00:15:34 |
ERNIE: |
| 00:15:36 |
The world's greatest Ping-Pong |
| 00:15:40 |
Don't hate. |
| 00:15:46 |
This guy's blind, |
| 00:15:49 |
Wong won't train just anybody. |
| 00:15:51 |
And he never trains gweilo. |
| 00:15:53 |
Who? |
| 00:15:55 |
It means "round eye. " |
| 00:15:58 |
He only takes |
| 00:16:04 |
Damn, bro. |
| 00:16:06 |
Hey... |
| 00:16:13 |
You okay, dude? |
| 00:16:14 |
Get out! |
| 00:16:16 |
Get out. |
| 00:16:19 |
How did you know that |
| 00:16:22 |
Same way that I can tell |
| 00:16:26 |
Too old to start training. |
| 00:16:30 |
Pudgy. |
| 00:16:31 |
You are filled |
| 00:16:35 |
And you use Lady Speed Stick. |
| 00:16:40 |
It was on sale. |
| 00:16:47 |
Feng was my most gifted pupil. |
| 00:16:51 |
He played table tennis like |
| 00:16:55 |
But he had expensive taste. |
| 00:16:58 |
He began to steal and extort. |
| 00:17:00 |
Turning my school of table |
| 00:17:05 |
And when I cast him out, |
| 00:17:09 |
He lured my brother Le Ping |
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And when Le Ping tried |
| 00:17:14 |
Le Ping's daughter |
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If you help Randy and me |
| 00:17:20 |
I give you my word. |
| 00:17:23 |
I will help you, |
| 00:17:26 |
You will start training |
| 00:17:29 |
Bring only your strength, your |
| 00:17:33 |
Hey, secret agent man. |
| 00:17:35 |
I tell you something |
| 00:17:37 |
Your boy will not pull it off. |
| 00:17:42 |
Something I can work with. |
| 00:17:52 |
Dude! |
| 00:17:54 |
What did I miss? |
| 00:18:00 |
Well, if it isn't |
| 00:18:05 |
How was Disneyland? |
| 00:18:09 |
Is it always this crowded? |
| 00:18:11 |
Only when I'm not teaching. |
| 00:18:17 |
That's my niece, |
| 00:18:22 |
She brings her father, |
| 00:18:30 |
Wong's Mu Shu Palace, |
| 00:18:40 |
She will be the one |
| 00:18:42 |
hands-on training. |
| 00:18:44 |
Gives "wax off" |
| 00:18:50 |
Rule one, gweilo. |
| 00:18:54 |
Understand? |
| 00:18:55 |
Yeah, I understand. |
| 00:19:15 |
What? |
| 00:19:47 |
Table jockey. |
| 00:19:49 |
Let them work it out, man. |
| 00:20:17 |
What does she weigh? |
| 00:20:27 |
Come on, man. |
| 00:20:36 |
Who wants to... Oh. |
| 00:20:48 |
Maggie! |
| 00:20:50 |
Your temper brings dishonor |
| 00:20:58 |
You'll be sorry, Wong! |
| 00:20:59 |
And teaching gweilo |
| 00:21:03 |
I'll tell the elders. |
| 00:21:04 |
You will have |
| 00:21:10 |
Let me tell you |
| 00:21:30 |
Now, gweilo, we begin. |
| 00:21:34 |
Ping-Pong is not |
| 00:21:39 |
It takes patience. |
| 00:21:42 |
She is like a fine, |
| 00:21:46 |
It takes years |
| 00:21:54 |
She is cruel. |
| 00:21:56 |
Laughs at you |
| 00:22:00 |
But you keep coming back |
| 00:22:03 |
Why? |
| 00:22:05 |
Because she is the |
| 00:22:10 |
Gweilo, give me your paddle. |
| 00:22:12 |
Here. |
| 00:22:14 |
Now, for the time being, |
| 00:22:21 |
What, are you crazy? |
| 00:22:23 |
It's impossible, man. |
| 00:22:27 |
That was nice. |
| 00:22:29 |
All right. |
| 00:22:33 |
Come on. |
| 00:22:36 |
One more time. |
| 00:22:44 |
Come on. |
| 00:22:55 |
Do I have to eat that? |
| 00:22:56 |
To strengthen the body |
| 00:22:59 |
is to build a temple |
| 00:23:04 |
In my hand I hold a cricket. |
| 00:23:09 |
What'd you do that for? Don't |
| 00:23:12 |
Who the hell said, "Take |
| 00:23:15 |
I just... |
| 00:23:18 |
That is my lucky cricket. |
| 00:23:23 |
Oh. |
| 00:23:25 |
Well, he just... |
| 00:23:31 |
You squished him? |
| 00:23:32 |
No. |
| 00:23:34 |
You squished lucky cricket? |
| 00:23:35 |
No. |
| 00:23:39 |
Thanks a lot, kid! |
| 00:23:44 |
So, Maggie, what do you |
| 00:23:50 |
So sorry, |
| 00:23:56 |
But didn't I hear you speak |
| 00:24:00 |
No, you must be mistaken, |
| 00:24:04 |
I'm just trying |
| 00:24:06 |
I know what you're trying |
| 00:24:09 |
For as long as I can remember, |
| 00:24:11 |
with their hands all over me, |
| 00:24:14 |
"Give me a hand |
| 00:24:16 |
Let me guess. |
| 00:24:17 |
You're not around girls much or you |
| 00:24:21 |
Yeah, well, I thought that |
| 00:24:23 |
Do not compare yourself to my |
| 00:24:27 |
I'm not. It's just a game. |
| 00:24:29 |
It's not just a game! |
| 00:24:31 |
It is a proud tradition my family |
| 00:24:34 |
You treat that tradition |
| 00:24:36 |
Uncle says you have no honor. |
| 00:24:40 |
So turn off the charm, |
| 00:24:48 |
Oh, God. |
| 00:24:51 |
You need to build |
| 00:24:54 |
Eye-hand coordination. |
| 00:24:57 |
Endurance. |
| 00:25:01 |
Oh, come on! |
| 00:25:03 |
You got me hitting balls with |
| 00:25:08 |
You not hit flies. |
| 00:25:11 |
What? |
| 00:25:14 |
Come on! |
| 00:25:18 |
Oh, shit! |
| 00:25:22 |
Oh, shit! |
| 00:25:31 |
You are halfway |
| 00:25:34 |
Now comes the difficult part. |
| 00:25:37 |
The backhand. |
| 00:25:52 |
You must believe in yourself |
| 00:25:57 |
Like right now, |
| 00:26:03 |
What? |
| 00:26:05 |
What do you mean |
| 00:26:08 |
Dad! |
| 00:26:10 |
Freeze! |
| 00:26:12 |
Hands on your head! |
| 00:26:18 |
Oh, that's right, man. |
| 00:26:21 |
I'm sorry, man. |
| 00:26:25 |
Want to pop off a couple of |
| 00:26:28 |
Listen to me. |
| 00:26:29 |
Are you a real, |
| 00:26:33 |
I'm serious, man. |
| 00:26:35 |
You know, why would a real FBl |
| 00:26:40 |
Nobody else would be caught |
| 00:26:43 |
All right, they don't expect |
| 00:26:46 |
They got 20 agents |
| 00:26:49 |
I'm the backup plan. |
| 00:26:54 |
Look, I joined the company |
| 00:26:56 |
You know, car chases, |
| 00:27:00 |
Drinking martinis, |
| 00:27:04 |
I haven't gotten |
| 00:27:06 |
since my goddaughter Martha's |
| 00:27:08 |
For the last five years, |
| 00:27:14 |
I'm up to 70 words a minute. |
| 00:27:19 |
Hello. |
| 00:27:21 |
Maggie, is that you? |
| 00:27:22 |
Slow down. |
| 00:27:24 |
Slow down in English. |
| 00:27:43 |
What happened? |
| 00:27:47 |
"Teaching outsiders |
| 00:27:50 |
We've defied the elders, |
| 00:27:52 |
They have forbidden me to |
| 00:27:56 |
Well, don't worry. The FBl's |
| 00:27:59 |
We know who did it. |
| 00:28:04 |
No, no, no, no. No FBl. |
| 00:28:07 |
We will settle this |
| 00:28:11 |
Gweilo, only |
| 00:28:15 |
You must go to the elders. |
| 00:28:17 |
You must face the Dragon. |
| 00:28:20 |
Okay, well, time out. |
| 00:28:21 |
We don't have time for some |
| 00:28:24 |
Feng's match is coming up. |
| 00:28:26 |
And if we want Feng's scouts |
| 00:28:29 |
we got to get him out |
| 00:28:31 |
Foolish secret agent man. |
| 00:28:33 |
Real Ping-Pong |
| 00:28:36 |
It is played in the shadows, |
| 00:28:40 |
for hard cash |
| 00:28:44 |
If gweilo beats the Dragon, |
| 00:28:49 |
I assure you. |
| 00:28:59 |
We're here. |
| 00:29:03 |
From here we go alone. |
| 00:29:09 |
Good luck, kid. |
| 00:29:11 |
Thanks, man. |
| 00:29:21 |
Randy, wait. |
| 00:29:22 |
Yeah? |
| 00:29:24 |
I want you to have this. |
| 00:29:26 |
It belonged to my father. |
| 00:29:27 |
Whoa. |
| 00:29:31 |
Maggie, I can't take this. |
| 00:29:34 |
He'd have wanted you |
| 00:29:36 |
Take it, you are ready. |
| 00:29:38 |
It has defeated many enemies. |
| 00:29:42 |
Good luck, Randy. |
| 00:29:45 |
Thanks. |
| 00:29:51 |
Come, gweilo. |
| 00:29:52 |
The Dragon is the most feared table |
| 00:30:18 |
Welcome to the underbelly |
| 00:30:21 |
Where fortunes |
| 00:30:24 |
I'm exaggerating, of course, |
| 00:30:28 |
People bet on Ping-Pong here. |
| 00:30:35 |
So you think you're good, |
| 00:30:37 |
Well, put money |
| 00:30:42 |
$4. No pay, no play. |
| 00:30:46 |
Got change for $5? |
| 00:31:12 |
This guy doesn't seem |
| 00:31:13 |
That is not the Dragon. |
| 00:31:18 |
That is the Dragon. |
| 00:31:35 |
Gweilo, |
| 00:31:37 |
remember, you suck |
| 00:31:42 |
Thanks, Master. |
| 00:31:51 |
First player |
| 00:31:54 |
Gweilo loses, |
| 00:31:56 |
Wong and his descendants are |
| 00:32:00 |
And by extension, |
| 00:32:09 |
Dragon says, |
| 00:32:13 |
No one has hit it back |
| 00:32:32 |
She say, "No fair. |
| 00:32:35 |
She say, "That wasn't real |
| 00:32:39 |
"This next one, |
| 00:32:45 |
"So watch out. " |
| 00:33:01 |
She say, |
| 00:33:02 |
"Maybe we need to take a break. |
| 00:33:32 |
Yes! |
| 00:33:34 |
I said, "Yes!" |
| 00:33:37 |
That is right! |
| 00:33:40 |
Am I right? |
| 00:33:42 |
Just say, "Yes. " |
| 00:33:44 |
Fine! |
| 00:33:51 |
Oh, jeez. |
| 00:33:55 |
Come on, little kid. |
| 00:33:57 |
Don't be so hard on yourself, |
| 00:34:12 |
I warn you guys, |
| 00:34:37 |
Here's your money. |
| 00:34:41 |
Unfortunately, |
| 00:34:47 |
I knew you could do it, man! |
| 00:34:50 |
He won, right? |
| 00:34:55 |
What the hell? |
| 00:35:12 |
Mr. Daytona. |
| 00:35:15 |
Your balls have been tempered |
| 00:35:25 |
Wow! |
| 00:35:27 |
My master, Mr. Feng, would be |
| 00:35:46 |
Which way is the freeway? I seem |
| 00:35:50 |
Oh, yeah. |
| 00:35:57 |
I knew that. |
| 00:35:59 |
Yeah. |
| 00:36:01 |
Mr. Daytona, we'll see you |
| 00:36:09 |
What? |
| 00:36:12 |
Oh, we got the golden paddle. |
| 00:36:16 |
As you can see, the paddle |
| 00:36:31 |
"On the longest day, two |
| 00:36:34 |
"We enter the clouds. " |
| 00:36:38 |
Of course. |
| 00:36:39 |
When both hands reach up |
| 00:36:42 |
A clock. That's noon. |
| 00:36:44 |
Longest day. |
| 00:36:47 |
We enter the clouds, |
| 00:36:49 |
Yeah, but which airfield? There |
| 00:36:52 |
John Wayne Airport, maybe. |
| 00:36:54 |
owned by a Japanese corporation |
| 00:36:59 |
Check this out. |
| 00:37:01 |
On the longest day. Yeah. |
| 00:37:05 |
That's impressive. |
| 00:37:06 |
It's on the back of |
| 00:37:08 |
Noon, Wednesday, |
| 00:37:10 |
Each player can bring a |
| 00:37:12 |
Goose, run them through |
| 00:37:14 |
I have stripped |
| 00:37:16 |
This is your homing device, |
| 00:37:19 |
So you just plant it, flip the |
| 00:37:23 |
Don't screw this up, |
| 00:37:25 |
Do not signal unless you have |
| 00:37:29 |
We don't want theories. |
| 00:37:31 |
with hard evidence, so we |
| 00:37:34 |
Yes, sir. |
| 00:37:35 |
So let me guess, fellows. |
| 00:37:36 |
We're gonna stick this |
| 00:37:38 |
put it in a tube of |
| 00:37:41 |
I think we'll have to sneak |
| 00:37:44 |
What's the old-fashioned way? |
| 00:38:13 |
God, slow down. |
| 00:38:15 |
We should go alone from here. |
| 00:38:17 |
Good luck, secret agent man. |
| 00:38:20 |
Uncle can take care |
| 00:38:24 |
Oh, man. |
| 00:38:27 |
What's the stick for, man? |
| 00:38:36 |
Okay. |
| 00:38:37 |
Never hug a man with a million |
| 00:38:42 |
Sorry. |
| 00:38:46 |
Go ahead and kiss her already! |
| 00:38:50 |
So embarrass... |
| 00:39:02 |
Come back, gweilo. |
| 00:39:21 |
Bye. |
| 00:39:30 |
Nice plane. |
| 00:39:34 |
Team Daytona. |
| 00:39:38 |
This way, gentlemen. |
| 00:39:48 |
Oh, you got to be kidding me. |
| 00:41:14 |
It is with great honor |
| 00:41:19 |
The man |
| 00:41:22 |
stole it back, |
| 00:41:24 |
and sold it again |
| 00:41:26 |
Give it up for Master Feng. |
| 00:41:50 |
How's my collar? |
| 00:41:56 |
Man, we were |
| 00:42:05 |
Okie-dokie artichokie. |
| 00:42:06 |
First of all, I know getting |
| 00:42:09 |
I have to be a smidge |
| 00:42:13 |
Now, Ping-Pong, |
| 00:42:19 |
"Ping-Pong," |
| 00:42:20 |
sport of emperors |
| 00:42:24 |
I have assembled today, for |
| 00:42:29 |
the most talented table tennis |
| 00:42:33 |
Legends, every one. |
| 00:42:36 |
We have last year's |
| 00:42:39 |
and holder |
| 00:42:41 |
Mr. Freddy "Fingers" Wilson. |
| 00:42:46 |
Represent. |
| 00:42:48 |
Four-time Australian champion, |
| 00:42:57 |
Cutie. |
| 00:42:59 |
From Japan, |
| 00:43:07 |
My personal odds-on favorite |
| 00:43:11 |
possibly the greatest player |
| 00:43:16 |
He came out of retirement to be |
| 00:43:20 |
He's back and he's bad, the |
| 00:43:25 |
Yeah! |
| 00:43:28 |
So, we meet again. |
| 00:43:34 |
The years have not been |
| 00:43:37 |
I will not be either. |
| 00:43:39 |
We have champions from |
| 00:43:43 |
everyone, wear a nametag. |
| 00:43:50 |
And now, eat, drink, enjoy. |
| 00:44:00 |
My goodness! |
| 00:44:02 |
What a blast from the past! |
| 00:44:07 |
If it isn't my old master. |
| 00:44:10 |
Wong. |
| 00:44:12 |
You old horn dog. |
| 00:44:17 |
I've waited many years to |
| 00:44:25 |
Oh, thank you. |
| 00:44:27 |
Tell me, Randy, does he still dress as |
| 00:44:32 |
So, Randy Daytona. |
| 00:44:35 |
The golden boy who couldn't even |
| 00:44:38 |
Well, FYl, |
| 00:44:43 |
Wong always said |
| 00:44:45 |
I said you could have been great, |
| 00:44:49 |
As I recall, |
| 00:44:53 |
But you did teach me |
| 00:44:57 |
Promptness. |
| 00:44:58 |
And you were 15 minutes late |
| 00:45:01 |
Soup got cold. |
| 00:45:16 |
Oh, Feng! |
| 00:45:26 |
Don't let it happen again. |
| 00:45:30 |
Gentlemen. Athletes. |
| 00:45:33 |
I bid you toodles. |
| 00:45:51 |
May I invite you to select from one |
| 00:45:57 |
Like sex slaves? |
| 00:46:02 |
No. |
| 00:46:05 |
No, I couldn't do that. |
| 00:46:09 |
No, I couldn't. I couldn't. |
| 00:46:14 |
No, no. |
| 00:46:15 |
I got this girlfriend |
| 00:46:18 |
I mean, she's not |
| 00:46:21 |
Mr. Feng has gone |
| 00:46:23 |
to select the most beautiful |
| 00:46:27 |
They are fully versed in both |
| 00:46:32 |
Well, I mean, |
| 00:46:49 |
What's up? |
| 00:46:53 |
These are... |
| 00:46:55 |
These guys, |
| 00:46:57 |
They are fully prepared to satisfy |
| 00:47:02 |
Well, my desires are pretty |
| 00:47:09 |
So, I'm good. |
| 00:47:10 |
You must choose one. |
| 00:47:15 |
Look, tell Feng |
| 00:47:18 |
Fine. I'll pick. |
| 00:47:20 |
Gary. |
| 00:47:21 |
Feeling good? |
| 00:47:22 |
Hop to it. |
| 00:47:24 |
That... |
| 00:47:29 |
Can I talk to you |
| 00:47:30 |
Sweet dreams, Mr. Daytona. |
| 00:47:44 |
I got a huge day tomorrow. |
| 00:47:47 |
Can you... |
| 00:47:48 |
No can do. |
| 00:47:49 |
Look, if I don't spend |
| 00:47:54 |
Are you kidding me? |
| 00:47:55 |
No, I'm not kidding. |
| 00:47:56 |
If I had known |
| 00:47:59 |
I never would've gone |
| 00:48:02 |
I thought I was gonna be doing |
| 00:48:03 |
Next thing I know, boom. |
| 00:48:06 |
Always read |
| 00:48:09 |
Hey, you want a brew? |
| 00:48:12 |
Yeah. |
| 00:48:17 |
Here you go, dude. |
| 00:48:31 |
So... So. |
| 00:48:35 |
Board game? |
| 00:48:37 |
Yes, play a board game. |
| 00:48:42 |
Whoa, you got Boggle, huh? |
| 00:48:43 |
That sounds like |
| 00:48:46 |
Yeah, okay, sure. |
| 00:48:50 |
All right. |
| 00:48:53 |
Sounds like somebody's |
| 00:49:02 |
Oh, no, no, dude. I want a |
| 00:49:06 |
You can not defeat me. |
| 00:49:10 |
Kick some ass out there. |
| 00:49:13 |
All right. Thanks, man. |
| 00:49:14 |
Be careful. Okay? |
| 00:49:16 |
All we did was play Boggle. |
| 00:49:18 |
Hey, how you doing, Master? |
| 00:49:20 |
Oh, gweilo. |
| 00:49:22 |
Have you tried |
| 00:49:25 |
My girl, she really knows |
| 00:49:28 |
Oh, boy! |
| 00:49:32 |
What the hell is up with |
| 00:49:36 |
Master had a fantastic time |
| 00:49:40 |
Oh, man. |
| 00:49:42 |
Yeah. |
| 00:49:43 |
Did you find anything? |
| 00:49:44 |
They got this place |
| 00:49:46 |
but I'm gonna |
| 00:49:48 |
Okay. |
| 00:50:03 |
Huh? |
| 00:50:05 |
He needs to go to bathroom. |
| 00:50:07 |
Down the hall, |
| 00:50:11 |
The switch is on the right. |
| 00:00:31 |
The tournament is single |
| 00:00:37 |
Let the games begin. |
| 00:00:38 |
The game is to 11. |
| 00:00:41 |
Must win by two. |
| 00:00:43 |
The first competitors are... |
| 00:00:46 |
Freddy "Fingers" Wilson. |
| 00:00:48 |
Wonderful. |
| 00:00:49 |
This is Freddy Fingers. |
| 00:00:59 |
And... |
| 00:01:02 |
Randy Daytona. |
| 00:01:09 |
Hello, Feng's mansion! |
| 00:01:14 |
How was Disneyland? |
| 00:01:49 |
Good luck, man. |
| 00:01:50 |
Blow it out your ass, bitch. |
| 00:02:56 |
Game point. |
| 00:03:09 |
Randy Daytona is the victor. |
| 00:03:15 |
Randy! |
| 00:03:16 |
Give it up! |
| 00:03:18 |
Can I hear a word? |
| 00:03:20 |
Can I hear a double "huh-huh"? |
| 00:03:37 |
Randy. |
| 00:03:40 |
Fantastique. |
| 00:03:43 |
Wong always did have |
| 00:03:45 |
Too bad they're not good |
| 00:03:50 |
You killed him? |
| 00:03:51 |
Well, duh. |
| 00:03:52 |
What part of "sudden death" |
| 00:04:32 |
Ow! |
| 00:04:49 |
What's up? |
| 00:04:51 |
Come, walk with me. Randy, |
| 00:04:57 |
I won't bite. |
| 00:05:05 |
Guess a guy like you has to have a lot |
| 00:05:09 |
Oh, them. They're just for show. |
| 00:05:14 |
Give me the thing. |
| 00:05:17 |
This is the real security. |
| 00:05:19 |
The whole place |
| 00:05:22 |
I'd hate to have to relocate. The |
| 00:05:30 |
Voilà. |
| 00:05:36 |
I don't usually give strangers the |
| 00:05:44 |
I like you. |
| 00:05:49 |
Go ahead. |
| 00:05:51 |
After you. |
| 00:05:58 |
Guns is my new business, |
| 00:06:03 |
These new polymer guns |
| 00:06:06 |
They go right through |
| 00:06:09 |
Enough shop talk. |
| 00:06:18 |
Let me show you |
| 00:06:21 |
Snazzy. |
| 00:06:23 |
Yeah. |
| 00:06:24 |
It's my own private table. |
| 00:06:27 |
You have to wear |
| 00:06:31 |
The batteries in them store |
| 00:06:35 |
Every time you miss, |
| 00:06:37 |
Two-nothing feels like you |
| 00:06:40 |
Nobody's ever made it |
| 00:06:43 |
This guy here, |
| 00:06:50 |
Randy, let me cut through |
| 00:06:53 |
I'd like you to come and work for me |
| 00:07:00 |
Me? |
| 00:07:02 |
Why? |
| 00:07:03 |
Because I think you'd make a |
| 00:07:08 |
Really? Me? |
| 00:07:09 |
Of course not, no. |
| 00:07:11 |
I want you 'cause |
| 00:07:15 |
Me, his old pupil, luring |
| 00:07:20 |
is such a Kodak moment. |
| 00:07:28 |
Do you have any idea how hard |
| 00:07:33 |
Really hard. |
| 00:07:37 |
Maybe he's dead. I'm not sure. |
| 00:07:43 |
Oh, well. |
| 00:07:51 |
Back to the old grindstone. |
| 00:07:52 |
Oh, man. |
| 00:08:14 |
You're gonna come to the Vishnu |
| 00:08:18 |
You're gonna go, lower hand low five, |
| 00:08:23 |
And then you're in. |
| 00:08:27 |
What? |
| 00:08:31 |
If the guns are there, I'll set |
| 00:08:33 |
before he scores another |
| 00:08:35 |
Just hurry! |
| 00:08:45 |
I blow you a fart. |
| 00:08:49 |
Randy Daytona |
| 00:09:43 |
This one is for you, Daytona! |
| 00:09:49 |
Set and match. |
| 00:10:00 |
Where's everybody at? |
| 00:10:02 |
Coming up after the break, |
| 00:10:04 |
Randy Daytona |
| 00:10:13 |
You are so close to defeat, till it |
| 00:10:18 |
The joke's on you, pretty boy. It's |
| 00:10:25 |
Thank you, Master. |
| 00:10:35 |
Listen to me. You said that you |
| 00:10:38 |
They were supposed to be here |
| 00:10:42 |
I got a plan B. |
| 00:10:43 |
You got a plan B? |
| 00:10:44 |
Trust me. Meet me in |
| 00:10:54 |
Welcome to Feng's bathroom. |
| 00:10:56 |
Hey. |
| 00:10:57 |
May I interest you in an |
| 00:11:00 |
Hey, these shoes |
| 00:11:12 |
Hi. |
| 00:11:14 |
Daytona. |
| 00:11:16 |
I have said some cruel things about you |
| 00:11:21 |
I told them that the reason |
| 00:11:23 |
is because I had sex |
| 00:11:26 |
My mother died when I was two. |
| 00:11:28 |
Yeah, I know. |
| 00:11:32 |
And yet these things that |
| 00:11:40 |
I do not mean them. |
| 00:11:43 |
'Cause, in truth, |
| 00:11:46 |
you are the greatest player |
| 00:11:51 |
Other than myself. |
| 00:11:54 |
Practicing in front |
| 00:11:58 |
Which I do. |
| 00:12:01 |
Every day. |
| 00:12:05 |
In the nude. |
| 00:12:09 |
I'm sorry for you that your |
| 00:12:12 |
I think he would |
| 00:12:14 |
Yeah. |
| 00:12:16 |
So proud of you that he would |
| 00:12:21 |
I could use the cash. Ha-ha. |
| 00:12:24 |
Tell your dead parents |
| 00:12:48 |
We're staying. |
| 00:12:50 |
Win or lose, |
| 00:12:53 |
I can't keep running away |
| 00:12:57 |
Now I am proud. |
| 00:13:00 |
It is better to die like a |
| 00:13:05 |
I'm gonna go tell Rodriguez. |
| 00:13:10 |
Rodriguez? |
| 00:13:17 |
Rodriguez? |
| 00:13:19 |
Open! Eat it! |
| 00:13:22 |
Eat it! |
| 00:13:29 |
How was I supposed to know you |
| 00:13:31 |
Silence. What's done is done. |
| 00:13:35 |
I hate you guys. |
| 00:13:36 |
Mr. Feng, |
| 00:13:39 |
Oh, no! |
| 00:13:42 |
What have you... |
| 00:13:43 |
I broke it. |
| 00:13:48 |
Oh, my God! |
| 00:13:49 |
Did that hurt? |
| 00:13:51 |
Oh, dear. |
| 00:13:55 |
I have no choice. |
| 00:13:59 |
I suppose |
| 00:14:02 |
Oh yeah! Oh yeah! |
| 00:14:05 |
This is far from over, |
| 00:14:07 |
AUDIENCE: |
| 00:14:08 |
Hey! Hey, come on. |
| 00:14:14 |
Well, poop. Randy, I was |
| 00:14:18 |
And e-mail me |
| 00:14:20 |
I'm Pradafan1@gmail. com. |
| 00:14:24 |
I can't tell you |
| 00:14:39 |
I'm afraid your reputation has |
| 00:14:46 |
Are you still waiting |
| 00:14:51 |
Bad guys have |
| 00:14:55 |
Competition will continue |
| 00:15:00 |
Hope you're a good southpaw. |
| 00:15:15 |
Three-point game. |
| 00:15:22 |
Come on. |
| 00:15:44 |
I'm cool, man. I'm cool. |
| 00:15:53 |
Oops. Clumsy, clumsy hippos. |
| 00:15:56 |
You should be more careful |
| 00:15:58 |
It's not like |
| 00:16:00 |
Oh, wait. Yes, I do. |
| 00:16:03 |
Time out. |
| 00:16:04 |
Master, look. It's your brother's |
| 00:16:08 |
I mean, I don't know what |
| 00:16:09 |
Gweilo! |
| 00:16:14 |
Game not in paddle. |
| 00:16:19 |
You cannot change |
| 00:16:22 |
You must play for this man. |
| 00:16:28 |
Here, use this paddle. |
| 00:16:32 |
It belongs to the greatest |
| 00:16:48 |
Thanks, Master. |
| 00:17:03 |
Gunter, glieben, |
| 00:17:10 |
All right |
| 00:17:13 |
I got something to say |
| 00:17:16 |
Yeah, it's better to burn out |
| 00:17:21 |
Yeah, than fade away |
| 00:17:27 |
All right |
| 00:17:36 |
Gonna start a fire |
| 00:17:41 |
Come on |
| 00:17:42 |
Rise up, gather round |
| 00:17:44 |
Rock this place to the ground |
| 00:17:47 |
Burn it up, let's go for broke |
| 00:17:49 |
Watch the night go up in smoke |
| 00:17:51 |
Rock on, rock on |
| 00:17:54 |
Drive me crazier |
| 00:17:56 |
No serenade, no fire brigade |
| 00:17:58 |
Just pyromania, come on |
| 00:18:01 |
What do you want? |
| 00:18:05 |
I want rock 'n' roll |
| 00:18:08 |
Yes, I do |
| 00:18:10 |
Long live rock 'n' roll |
| 00:18:12 |
Oh, let's go, |
| 00:18:14 |
We're gonna blow like dynamite |
| 00:18:20 |
There will be a slight change in |
| 00:18:24 |
The part of Karl Wolfschtagg |
| 00:18:34 |
Maggie! |
| 00:18:36 |
Maggie! |
| 00:18:37 |
You get to play her |
| 00:18:41 |
I thought this would be |
| 00:18:44 |
You bastard. |
| 00:18:45 |
This is an outrage! |
| 00:18:49 |
I demand retribution! |
| 00:18:56 |
Oh, great, blow dart, yeah? |
| 00:18:59 |
Super. |
| 00:19:12 |
Master, you got to |
| 00:19:13 |
You got to give me |
| 00:19:15 |
Sorry, gweilo, I'm out. |
| 00:19:17 |
"Game not in paddle, game in |
| 00:19:30 |
I missed you. |
| 00:19:31 |
I missed you, too. |
| 00:19:32 |
Hey. Less talkie-talkie. |
| 00:19:39 |
Three-point game to the death. |
| 00:19:46 |
Maggie, come on. |
| 00:19:47 |
I'm not gonna play you, Randy. |
| 00:19:51 |
It would be an honor for me |
| 00:19:55 |
One-zero. Randy Daytona. |
| 00:20:06 |
I don't know why you couldn't |
| 00:20:09 |
I... |
| 00:20:11 |
One-One. |
| 00:20:12 |
That's not fair. |
| 00:20:14 |
Randy, I'm trying to sacrifice |
| 00:20:17 |
Stop being such a dick! |
| 00:20:21 |
I'm not gonna let you lose, |
| 00:20:26 |
Here we go. |
| 00:20:31 |
This is not very honorable! |
| 00:20:39 |
I love you, Maggie. |
| 00:20:47 |
Boring. Kill them. |
| 00:20:50 |
We're missing |
| 00:20:56 |
No. |
| 00:21:04 |
Oh, crap! |
| 00:21:09 |
Get to cover! Come on! |
| 00:21:12 |
You want to play rough? |
| 00:21:19 |
Stop it! Are you insane? |
| 00:21:22 |
Well, some of them are, but |
| 00:21:27 |
Backup's right outside, |
| 00:21:29 |
I didn't sneak in |
| 00:21:35 |
This is the FBI. |
| 00:21:48 |
Oh, my God! |
| 00:21:50 |
Wait a minute, |
| 00:21:52 |
What? |
| 00:21:53 |
Come here, baby. |
| 00:21:56 |
Wish me luck. |
| 00:21:57 |
Good luck. |
| 00:21:59 |
Get to the dock! |
| 00:22:00 |
He took my Uzi. |
| 00:22:12 |
Get away from the door! |
| 00:22:18 |
Sweet. |
| 00:22:20 |
Well, that was awesome of me. |
| 00:22:23 |
Dude, I totally knew |
| 00:22:25 |
Okay! All right! Okay! All right! As |
| 00:22:30 |
Oh, right. Yeah. Right. |
| 00:22:31 |
Follow me! |
| 00:22:33 |
This way. Up the stairs! |
| 00:22:36 |
Oh, crap! |
| 00:22:43 |
So what? What? |
| 00:22:44 |
You gonna murder me |
| 00:22:46 |
You people sound |
| 00:22:48 |
"You killed my so-and-so and |
| 00:22:52 |
"I demand... " |
| 00:22:56 |
Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! |
| 00:23:00 |
Listen, you kill me now, |
| 00:23:03 |
we're never gonna know |
| 00:23:07 |
For the record, |
| 00:23:09 |
I think we all assume |
| 00:23:17 |
You win, Wong. |
| 00:23:19 |
Let's settle this, |
| 00:23:21 |
This rescue sucks, dude. |
| 00:23:23 |
I know. |
| 00:23:24 |
Not you, you're doing great. |
| 00:23:27 |
Guys. Guys. Guys! |
| 00:23:35 |
You, take the self-destruct |
| 00:23:39 |
Explain the house is rigged |
| 00:23:44 |
Ready, gweilo? |
| 00:24:01 |
Any last words? |
| 00:24:04 |
Yeah. |
| 00:24:07 |
Self-destruct sequence activated. |
| 00:24:16 |
Five minutes |
| 00:24:20 |
It's your point, Feng. |
| 00:24:21 |
I know. My serve, I think. |
| 00:24:25 |
What the hell are you doing? |
| 00:24:27 |
The Ping-Pong table |
| 00:24:29 |
If we stop playing, |
| 00:24:33 |
You mean, |
| 00:24:35 |
God, that's so stupid! |
| 00:24:37 |
Randy. |
| 00:24:38 |
Get to the boat! |
| 00:24:39 |
Okay, let's get out of here. |
| 00:24:41 |
I'm gonna save the panda! |
| 00:24:47 |
The panda's dead! |
| 00:24:49 |
All right, FBl! |
| 00:24:53 |
FBl! |
| 00:24:56 |
FBl! |
| 00:25:03 |
Oh, shit! |
| 00:25:09 |
That's my point, Feng. |
| 00:25:17 |
But you missed the table! |
| 00:25:19 |
I changed the rules a little. |
| 00:25:20 |
I should have told you. |
| 00:25:22 |
The way I play, you could |
| 00:25:25 |
One bounce, it counts. |
| 00:25:28 |
Son of a bitch! |
| 00:25:59 |
Guys! |
| 00:26:05 |
This guy looks really tough. |
| 00:26:08 |
You take him. |
| 00:26:46 |
Two minutes to detonation. |
| 00:26:50 |
You should've taken my offer. |
| 00:26:53 |
I would've given you anything. |
| 00:26:56 |
I want my father back! |
| 00:26:58 |
Lots of luck! |
| 00:27:17 |
Come on, get up. |
| 00:27:19 |
Come on, fast, fast, fast. |
| 00:27:22 |
Get your own boat, Pedro! |
| 00:27:28 |
Guys! Guys! |
| 00:27:30 |
Me, the money and the |
| 00:27:37 |
You see this pen? |
| 00:27:38 |
This pen contains enough cyanide to |
| 00:27:43 |
Do you think I'd come in here |
| 00:27:45 |
I'm FBl, pendejo! |
| 00:27:48 |
Now, here's |
| 00:27:56 |
Hola. You like chorizo? |
| 00:27:59 |
Let's get out of here. |
| 00:28:04 |
Randy! |
| 00:28:06 |
Remember |
| 00:28:10 |
Feng only finished |
| 00:28:17 |
Come on. |
| 00:28:29 |
I believe it's my serve, Feng. |
| 00:28:34 |
Big deal. |
| 00:28:37 |
What's that mean? |
| 00:28:41 |
It means you have |
| 00:29:03 |
Oh, shit! |
| 00:29:24 |
Ten, nine, eight, seven, six... |
| 00:29:30 |
Jump! |
| 00:29:31 |
...five, four, three, |
| 00:29:54 |
Dude, that was amazing! |
| 00:29:55 |
I love you! |
| 00:29:56 |
We are so proud of you! |
| 00:29:57 |
Okay. Thank you. Thank you. |
| 00:30:00 |
Seriously, stop it! |
| 00:30:25 |
You ready, pussycat? |
| 00:30:28 |
Say hello to my little friend! |
| 00:30:34 |
Are you okay? |
| 00:30:35 |
Let's go, pussycat, |
| 00:30:37 |
You got it? |
| 00:30:38 |
Yeah. |
| 00:30:41 |
Oh, no! |
| 00:30:45 |
I heard that. |
| 00:30:48 |
ERNIE: |
| 00:30:53 |
Let me help you with that, |
| 00:30:57 |
There you go. |
| 00:30:59 |
Hey, I wanted to thank you for |
| 00:31:04 |
So I got you |
| 00:31:10 |
It's really not necessary. |
| 00:31:13 |
But Master will accept. |
| 00:31:16 |
What is it? Let me guess. |
| 00:31:20 |
No, don't... |
| 00:31:21 |
Cufflinks? It's a ring. |
| 00:31:23 |
I love jewelry. |
| 00:31:26 |
I can't guess. What is it? |
| 00:31:29 |
It's a new lucky cricket. |
| 00:31:31 |
Oh. |
| 00:31:38 |
Was. |
| 00:31:40 |
I shall carry it |
| 00:31:42 |
Yeah. |
| 00:31:45 |
Don't bother. |
| 00:31:49 |
No, no, no. |
| 00:31:51 |
It will bring my spare change |
| 00:31:54 |
Okay, you do that. |
| 00:31:56 |
Hey, gweilo! |
| 00:31:59 |
I just want to say |
| 00:32:03 |
no hard feelings, huh? |
| 00:32:06 |
Good luck |
| 00:32:09 |
Thanks, man. |
| 00:32:22 |
Dragon say, "May Wong's school |
| 00:32:27 |
"Or at least until the lease |
| 00:32:30 |
Oh, thanks. |
| 00:32:33 |
It's nice. |
| 00:32:35 |
You know, I think we all |
| 00:32:44 |
Dragon say, "This is |
| 00:32:51 |
Walk it off, Randy. |
| 00:32:55 |
A true Ping-Pong player must |
| 00:33:06 |
Master, are you all right? |
| 00:33:09 |
I am going to Disneyland. |
| 00:33:13 |
Maybe we should |
| 00:33:17 |
There's a gate here. There's |
| 00:34:04 |
Feng! |
| 00:34:08 |
Shit! |
| 00:34:50 |
I'm not leaving without you, |
| 00:34:56 |
Panda's totally fake. |
| 00:35:40 |
Feng, not Fang. |
| 00:35:42 |
Feng? |
| 00:35:44 |
I've been calling you Fang |
| 00:35:46 |
F- E-N-G. |
| 00:35:47 |
Feng? |
| 00:35:49 |
All right. |
| 00:35:50 |
Please. |
