|
Bam Margera Presents Where The Is Santa
|
| 00:00:28 |
What's up, kids? |
| 00:00:31 |
I have Shitbird sleeping there... |
| 00:00:33 |
...and I got my homeboys on standby |
| 00:00:36 |
I had to order up the snow |
| 00:00:38 |
...because it just hasn't snowed yet. |
| 00:00:41 |
So let's get this Christmas |
| 00:00:43 |
...and I'm gonna go wake up Missy. |
| 00:00:48 |
She's already awake. |
| 00:00:50 |
[MISSY CHUCKLES] |
| 00:00:51 |
- Yo, help me. |
| 00:00:53 |
I'm gonna dump all this snow on Shitbird |
| 00:00:57 |
You dump the flour, I do the snow. |
| 00:00:59 |
- Let's go. |
| 00:01:04 |
MISSY [WHISPERING]: |
| 00:01:09 |
[WHISPERING] |
| 00:01:13 |
MISSY: |
| 00:01:14 |
Say, "Dump." |
| 00:01:18 |
[GRUNTING] |
| 00:01:19 |
BAM [IN NORMAL VOICE]: |
| 00:01:22 |
SHITBIRDZ: |
| 00:01:24 |
BAM: |
| 00:01:28 |
Geronimo, Shitbird. Oh! |
| 00:01:32 |
Hanna, don't think you're safe. |
| 00:01:35 |
SETH: |
| 00:01:37 |
- Oh, bitch. |
| 00:01:39 |
MISSY: Ow! |
| 00:01:41 |
That hit me so fucking hard. |
| 00:01:45 |
I'm not playing anymore. |
| 00:01:47 |
I'm sorry, Missy. |
| 00:01:49 |
Just go do something |
| 00:01:52 |
How about liquid lunch |
| 00:01:55 |
HANNA: |
| 00:01:56 |
Come up, say goodbye to me first. |
| 00:01:58 |
HANNA: Who, me? |
| 00:02:00 |
- My husband. |
| 00:02:05 |
Ew, ew. |
| 00:02:07 |
...and you're creating |
| 00:02:10 |
- Ape's coming over. |
| 00:02:13 |
Yeah, but she can't stand |
| 00:02:15 |
Yeah, but I'll look like a jerk |
| 00:02:19 |
I have to do it too. |
| 00:02:20 |
- Just give me a kiss. |
| 00:02:23 |
- Okay? |
| 00:02:24 |
All right. I'll be going. |
| 00:02:26 |
- Later, babe. |
| 00:02:28 |
BAM: Let's try to slide down this thing. |
| 00:02:33 |
[YELLS] |
| 00:02:35 |
BAM: |
| 00:02:46 |
[MOUTHING "WHAT IS ROCK?"] |
| 00:04:29 |
BAM: |
| 00:04:31 |
- Yeah, Joe. |
| 00:04:33 |
- She does have everything. |
| 00:04:37 |
...then a sweet-ass wedding ring |
| 00:04:40 |
She has the Range Rover, |
| 00:04:43 |
- What else can I get her? |
| 00:04:45 |
- I know where he lives. |
| 00:04:47 |
- He lives in Lapland, Finland. It's a fact. |
| 00:04:51 |
The mythos of Santa Claus, if you will, |
| 00:04:54 |
- Jesus Christ. |
| 00:04:56 |
No, really. And in it is encapsulated... |
| 00:04:59 |
[ALL LAUGHING] |
| 00:05:00 |
BAM: Nobody wants to hear |
| 00:05:03 |
- He lives in Finland, okay? |
| 00:05:06 |
That's what everybody thinks. |
| 00:05:08 |
Finnish people get mad. Everybody |
| 00:05:11 |
They're like, "He lives in Finland." |
| 00:05:16 |
- You deserved that, by the way. |
| 00:05:18 |
- With your Santa Claus jibber-jabber. |
| 00:05:21 |
I'm helping myself because I'm gonna go. |
| 00:05:24 |
FRANTZ: |
| 00:05:26 |
I'm gonna capture Santa. |
| 00:05:28 |
Maybe I can make some calls |
| 00:05:30 |
...and find out exactly where Santa lives. |
| 00:05:33 |
- That's awesome. Yeah. |
| 00:05:35 |
It's a pain in the ass to get to, |
| 00:05:39 |
Starting to sound like a good idea. |
| 00:05:42 |
- Could be done. |
| 00:05:46 |
If we power it out, |
| 00:05:49 |
...make it back by Christmas Eve, |
| 00:05:51 |
I don't see why we wouldn't. |
| 00:05:54 |
HANNA: Missy already has everything. |
| 00:05:58 |
Piece of shit. |
| 00:05:59 |
[ALL LAUGHING] |
| 00:06:01 |
HANNA: |
| 00:06:05 |
SETH: |
| 00:06:07 |
Yo. |
| 00:06:08 |
Look at this group that's going nowhere. |
| 00:06:11 |
Nice Maserati out there. |
| 00:06:12 |
Hey, that, dude? I just scored that thing |
| 00:06:16 |
- Four hundred bucks? |
| 00:06:19 |
Did you do paperwork |
| 00:06:21 |
- I bought it. |
| 00:06:24 |
No, it's got keys. |
| 00:06:26 |
- So what? |
| 00:06:29 |
I got to take the minging-ass |
| 00:06:32 |
We have a cameraman to prove |
| 00:06:34 |
- Follow him in. |
| 00:06:37 |
BAM: Yo, yo, do you have |
| 00:06:51 |
[GRO ANS] |
| 00:06:57 |
[SIGHS] |
| 00:06:59 |
It's like pushing a baby out. |
| 00:07:04 |
Let's go. |
| 00:07:07 |
BAM: When does he not deserve it? |
| 00:07:08 |
- Where's our brew-ha-ha? |
| 00:07:10 |
Oh, Jesus. |
| 00:07:12 |
[ALL LAUGHING] |
| 00:07:14 |
My Louis Vuittons don't have |
| 00:07:18 |
What are you doing in town? |
| 00:07:21 |
Fuck spreading holiday spirit. I'm trying |
| 00:07:25 |
Yo, you know what happened to Frantz? |
| 00:07:27 |
- I can only imagine. |
| 00:07:29 |
- And then I just pushed him back. |
| 00:07:32 |
Ow! |
| 00:07:33 |
I got you a gift. A pre-Christmas gift. |
| 00:07:36 |
It's your gr... It's your grocery list. |
| 00:07:38 |
NOVAK: |
| 00:07:41 |
Life partner. I appreciate that. |
| 00:07:43 |
I'm gonna put it in my car |
| 00:07:50 |
NOVAK: What the fuck? |
| 00:07:52 |
NOVAK: |
| 00:07:54 |
Maserati, yeah. |
| 00:07:56 |
BAM: I don't know why you're so worried. |
| 00:07:59 |
I mean, you could have |
| 00:08:02 |
Dude, this is the first... |
| 00:08:03 |
I mean, this is the first thing |
| 00:08:07 |
My mother said, |
| 00:08:09 |
She calls this |
| 00:08:12 |
Yo, Seth, where's that gift box? |
| 00:08:14 |
NOVAK: You got me a gift? |
| 00:08:16 |
Is this a real gift |
| 00:08:19 |
You'll see. |
| 00:08:20 |
Yeah. |
| 00:08:22 |
BAM: Let's get you in this thing. |
| 00:08:24 |
- My picture. No. |
| 00:08:27 |
NOVAK: |
| 00:08:28 |
- I can't fit in here. |
| 00:08:31 |
NOVAK: |
| 00:08:33 |
[ALL LAUGHING] |
| 00:08:35 |
Get me out. I want out. |
| 00:08:37 |
HANNA: Oh, shit. Grab him. |
| 00:08:41 |
JESSE: |
| 00:08:45 |
HANNA: |
| 00:08:46 |
- Don't go. |
| 00:08:48 |
- It's Christmas. |
| 00:08:51 |
BAM: |
| 00:08:54 |
Don't hit the Hummer, dude. |
| 00:08:57 |
[WINDOW SHATTERS] |
| 00:08:59 |
[TIRES SCREECHING] |
| 00:09:04 |
BAM: |
| 00:09:06 |
[CAR HORN HONKS] |
| 00:09:09 |
I bet you he's going to another bar. |
| 00:09:11 |
If we just comb West Chester, |
| 00:09:13 |
- I'll make phone calls too. |
| 00:09:15 |
- Let's do it. |
| 00:09:17 |
- He's at another bar. |
| 00:09:25 |
BAM: |
| 00:09:33 |
Which one are we doing? |
| 00:09:34 |
I don't know. |
| 00:09:37 |
What's the Christmas-iest tree? |
| 00:09:38 |
BAM: |
| 00:09:40 |
HANNA: Nice. |
| 00:09:41 |
- Yeah. |
| 00:09:43 |
The big...? Yeah, yeah, yeah. |
| 00:09:45 |
Why not? |
| 00:09:48 |
- Possible? |
| 00:09:49 |
- We can do it? Sweet. |
| 00:09:51 |
Well, let's get cutting. |
| 00:09:52 |
[CHAIN SAW BUZZING] |
| 00:09:59 |
There's nothing good |
| 00:10:03 |
Merry Christmas. |
| 00:10:07 |
Whoa! |
| 00:10:10 |
Oh, shit. |
| 00:10:12 |
[BAM YELLS] |
| 00:10:15 |
[BAM CRYING] |
| 00:10:18 |
HANNA: |
| 00:10:21 |
Santa'd be proud. |
| 00:10:23 |
HANNA: |
| 00:10:27 |
We are officially rocking and rolling. |
| 00:10:32 |
[CAR HORNS HONKING] |
| 00:10:38 |
We just broke into Novak's car, |
| 00:10:43 |
He's still in there drinking |
| 00:10:47 |
Oh, yes. |
| 00:10:53 |
Where is that scumbag? |
| 00:11:03 |
NOVAK: |
| 00:11:04 |
[CROWD YELLS] |
| 00:11:07 |
BAM: |
| 00:11:09 |
Well, you can't. |
| 00:11:10 |
BAM [SINGING]: Five zany bars |
| 00:11:13 |
Three smokes left |
| 00:11:15 |
And I lost Bam's brand-new watch |
| 00:11:17 |
- Let's go. What's up, Kerry? |
| 00:11:20 |
- When did you get into town? |
| 00:11:22 |
BAM: Why are you with this scumbag? |
| 00:11:25 |
...I got hot sauce burning my eye. |
| 00:11:27 |
- He's my friend. |
| 00:11:29 |
He doesn't bang me in the head |
| 00:11:32 |
Come check out your car. |
| 00:11:34 |
Is it...? Did you fix it? |
| 00:11:36 |
Merry Christmas, bub. |
| 00:11:38 |
NOVAK: Don't tell me what I think |
| 00:11:40 |
BAM: |
| 00:11:42 |
Hector, I'll send you back to Mexico |
| 00:11:45 |
BAM & HANNA: |
| 00:11:47 |
[ALL CHEERING AND LAUGHING] |
| 00:11:59 |
- That's your car. |
| 00:12:07 |
SETH: All right, Novak. |
| 00:12:10 |
NOVAK: What? |
| 00:12:12 |
NOVAK: Why do I even come here? |
| 00:12:17 |
Ow! |
| 00:12:19 |
I can't see. |
| 00:12:20 |
HANNA: You don't need to see. |
| 00:12:24 |
Come on. Ow! Don't forget my jeans. |
| 00:12:27 |
BAM: Hey, Novak, you coming to Finland? |
| 00:12:32 |
BAM: |
| 00:12:33 |
Ape and Missy are gonna be real pleased |
| 00:12:37 |
[BAM IMITATES BUZZER] |
| 00:12:39 |
BAM: Yo, baby. |
| 00:12:40 |
BAM: |
| 00:12:42 |
MISSY: You did? |
| 00:12:44 |
- What is it? |
| 00:12:47 |
[NOVAK FARTS] |
| 00:12:48 |
It says, "Don't open till Christmas." |
| 00:12:52 |
I don't know. |
| 00:12:54 |
MISSY: |
| 00:12:56 |
- Wait. |
| 00:12:59 |
APRIL: What's in the box? |
| 00:13:02 |
JESSE: I think we have to return it. |
| 00:13:04 |
Seriously, what's in the box? |
| 00:13:05 |
- Oh, my God. |
| 00:13:09 |
MISSY: |
| 00:13:10 |
NOVAK: I haven't seen... |
| 00:13:12 |
MISSY: Oh, you're dirty. |
| 00:13:16 |
NOVAK: Can I have a hug? |
| 00:13:18 |
NOVAK: Give me one. |
| 00:13:21 |
NOVAK: Come on. |
| 00:13:22 |
You gotta be kidding me. |
| 00:13:25 |
- Ape. |
| 00:13:27 |
I don't want one, seriously. |
| 00:13:31 |
- It's a Christmas gift. |
| 00:13:32 |
- Get off me. Yech! |
| 00:13:36 |
Big plans? |
| 00:13:37 |
[NOVAK FARTS] |
| 00:13:38 |
NOVAK: |
| 00:13:41 |
You are classless. |
| 00:13:42 |
This is just a pre-gift. |
| 00:13:43 |
I have a week to get my main gift. |
| 00:13:46 |
Believe me, I'm gonna get it, |
| 00:13:49 |
- Why are you going? |
| 00:13:52 |
...for the best Christmas present ever. |
| 00:13:55 |
What can you get in Finland |
| 00:13:58 |
FRANTZ: |
| 00:13:59 |
Well, it's a big, big, big surprise. |
| 00:14:02 |
We're having a party in a week. |
| 00:14:04 |
Like, we have the whole family |
| 00:14:08 |
- Well, I'll help and then... |
| 00:14:11 |
Who says I'm not doing work? |
| 00:14:15 |
You will thank me when I'm back. |
| 00:14:17 |
- Will I? |
| 00:14:18 |
- Are you serious? |
| 00:14:20 |
[ALL LAUGHING] |
| 00:14:22 |
Where's Novak? He's got to sleep |
| 00:14:25 |
And I don't want any more shit |
| 00:14:27 |
[ALL LAUGHING] |
| 00:14:36 |
[WHISPERS] |
| 00:14:46 |
Aah! Aah! Aah! |
| 00:14:49 |
[ALL LAUGHING] |
| 00:14:51 |
- Oh, my God. |
| 00:14:55 |
Hey, I could hardly call this handsome. |
| 00:14:57 |
- Who's the girl? |
| 00:15:00 |
BAM: I'll say. |
| 00:15:01 |
- Tell them your name. |
| 00:15:03 |
- Her name is Mandy. |
| 00:15:06 |
[FARTS] |
| 00:15:09 |
BAM: |
| 00:15:11 |
MAND Y: |
| 00:15:17 |
- Ew. What is he wearing? Ew! |
| 00:15:23 |
BAM: |
| 00:15:26 |
[BOTH GRUNTING] |
| 00:15:32 |
[ALL LAUGHING] |
| 00:15:34 |
Oh, man. |
| 00:15:36 |
- Money shot. |
| 00:15:39 |
[BAM LAUGHING] |
| 00:15:40 |
NOVAK: |
| 00:15:42 |
Ooh. Oh, man. |
| 00:15:45 |
Now that I've skated and shit, |
| 00:15:49 |
All right, well, |
| 00:15:53 |
BAM: Not on the ramp. |
| 00:15:56 |
Get him. |
| 00:16:23 |
BAM: |
| 00:16:25 |
I feel Hanukkah. |
| 00:16:26 |
You know, I'm Jewish. |
| 00:16:30 |
I'm thinking about going |
| 00:16:33 |
- You are? |
| 00:16:34 |
Yeah, I'll go. |
| 00:16:36 |
- Jimmy, hey. What's going on? |
| 00:16:39 |
What's going on, Mark? |
| 00:16:44 |
BAM: How you been? |
| 00:16:46 |
You got him chauffeuring |
| 00:16:49 |
BAM: What do you want for Christmas? |
| 00:16:55 |
- And he's not lying either. |
| 00:16:57 |
NOVAK: That's the dead truth. |
| 00:17:00 |
You wanna head this up, Bagger? |
| 00:17:02 |
I'm thinking about going to Finland |
| 00:17:04 |
- What do you think about that? |
| 00:17:08 |
Why does everybody think that? |
| 00:17:11 |
- He does. |
| 00:17:13 |
...in a town called Rovaniemi. Arctic Circle. |
| 00:17:17 |
- Did Jesus tell you that? |
| 00:17:20 |
- Jesus? Oh. |
| 00:17:25 |
- Where does he live? |
| 00:17:26 |
JIMMY: You're going to Finland? |
| 00:17:29 |
But I heard it's a serious hike. |
| 00:17:31 |
Wasting your time. |
| 00:17:33 |
- Wanna make a bet? I'll prove you wrong. |
| 00:17:35 |
I'll go to Santa's house, |
| 00:17:38 |
How about that? |
| 00:17:40 |
The best part: I'm going with him |
| 00:17:43 |
There's only Vikings in Finland. |
| 00:17:48 |
You're gay and I'll prove it. |
| 00:17:51 |
- How are you gonna prove it? |
| 00:17:54 |
I guarantee you, I get more action |
| 00:17:58 |
...even with the rock star Jimmy Pop. |
| 00:18:00 |
Okay, you're on. |
| 00:18:01 |
You're making two bets? |
| 00:18:04 |
We should make the bets higher stake. |
| 00:18:06 |
What's the stakes? |
| 00:18:08 |
- I don't know. What do you think? |
| 00:18:10 |
JESSE: |
| 00:18:13 |
BAM: What's up, Shitbird? |
| 00:18:15 |
NOVAK: |
| 00:18:16 |
We have a bet made with the Bagger. |
| 00:18:19 |
That Santa does not live at the North Pole, |
| 00:18:23 |
That's one. |
| 00:18:24 |
Then he made a bet with Bagger saying |
| 00:18:28 |
...than he'll get in West Chester. |
| 00:18:31 |
- All right, but what are the stakes? |
| 00:18:34 |
We could get a sexy robot? |
| 00:18:37 |
JIMMY: Do whatever you want to the robot. |
| 00:18:40 |
- Yeah. |
| 00:18:42 |
- Now, there's another bet, which is: |
| 00:18:47 |
Our stakes are... |
| 00:18:49 |
- Hmm. They got to be high stakes. |
| 00:18:52 |
JESSE: |
| 00:18:53 |
Just like that movie where the guy pays |
| 00:18:57 |
NOVAK: Oh, yeah. |
| 00:18:58 |
- Indecent Proposal. |
| 00:19:01 |
If I don't bring Santa Claus back |
| 00:19:04 |
...then you get to have a date |
| 00:19:06 |
- Okay. You're on. |
| 00:19:09 |
You're a fucking idiot, |
| 00:19:12 |
Everybody... |
| 00:19:14 |
...keep this a secret from Missy, please. |
| 00:19:17 |
Let's get this tree. |
| 00:19:18 |
NOVAK: Where do you want |
| 00:19:19 |
Up your ass, Novak. |
| 00:19:20 |
[ALL LAUGHING] |
| 00:19:33 |
Christmas is five days away. |
| 00:19:35 |
I'm going to Finland tomorrow |
| 00:19:37 |
...and I'm bringing Novak, Frantz, Fanna, |
| 00:19:42 |
...and we're gonna rock 'n' roll. |
| 00:19:43 |
Whoa! |
| 00:19:47 |
[PEOPLE LAUGHING] |
| 00:19:50 |
Merry Christmas, motherfucker. |
| 00:19:55 |
BAM: |
| 00:20:00 |
- Fuck, fuck, fuck. |
| 00:20:03 |
- Fuck. |
| 00:20:07 |
It's 6:38 in the asshole morning |
| 00:20:12 |
And it's not lost, it's misplaced. |
| 00:20:15 |
All right. I really gotta go. |
| 00:20:20 |
...and I wanna make a pit stop |
| 00:20:23 |
...then I have to leave at 6:44 |
| 00:20:27 |
...when the flight doesn't leave |
| 00:20:33 |
7 a.m., production van, |
| 00:20:36 |
This blows. |
| 00:20:38 |
For my passport. Rad. |
| 00:20:50 |
Fourth passport. |
| 00:20:51 |
Finland-bound now. |
| 00:20:58 |
Fuck it. Ha-ha! |
| 00:21:03 |
[MOUTHING "WRAP YOUR |
| 00:21:43 |
We are at JFK Airport. Got my passport. |
| 00:21:46 |
We are officially ready to rock. |
| 00:22:15 |
Too fucking cold in Finland |
| 00:22:28 |
I know we're supposed to go |
| 00:22:30 |
...but we have a tour bus |
| 00:22:33 |
...is 10 blocks away |
| 00:22:36 |
...and barge in on their rehearsal studio |
| 00:22:50 |
All that I know is that Novak |
| 00:23:01 |
NOVAK: Get off me. |
| 00:23:03 |
NOVAK: All right, but I'm not missing |
| 00:23:08 |
[IMITATES BUZZER] |
| 00:23:17 |
BAM: |
| 00:23:19 |
We're going to the Arctic Circle |
| 00:23:22 |
...take him back to Pennsylvania. |
| 00:23:25 |
VALO: I wouldn't do it. |
| 00:23:27 |
He used to be close to Rovaniemi. |
| 00:23:29 |
If I asked you to draw a map from Helsinki |
| 00:23:34 |
Vaguely. |
| 00:23:35 |
BAM: Fanna. |
| 00:23:36 |
Ville has to draw the map on your belly |
| 00:23:40 |
Because I am not gonna be lost |
| 00:23:43 |
VALO: How big do you need it? |
| 00:23:45 |
VALO: |
| 00:23:47 |
- You go that way. |
| 00:23:50 |
Can you bend down a little bit? |
| 00:23:53 |
HANNA: Like this? |
| 00:23:55 |
- Now it's not so far. |
| 00:23:57 |
VALO: |
| 00:24:01 |
- You're... You're sweating a little. |
| 00:24:05 |
VALO: So that's Rovaniemi. |
| 00:24:08 |
That looks good to go. |
| 00:24:09 |
Before we go on our mission, |
| 00:24:14 |
[SINGING "DEAD LO VERS LANE"] |
| 00:24:23 |
[GASPING] |
| 00:24:39 |
- Hey. |
| 00:24:40 |
APRIL: Gonna tell me |
| 00:24:42 |
MISSY: Of course not. |
| 00:24:45 |
APRIL: You're joking. |
| 00:24:47 |
Ready to jump into gingerbread land? |
| 00:24:50 |
APRIL: Oh, yeah. I'm ready. |
| 00:24:52 |
- Okay. |
| 00:24:54 |
- It's 8 feet. |
| 00:24:58 |
- Do you know how big 8 foot by 8 foot is? |
| 00:25:00 |
Oh, gosh. Everything... |
| 00:25:03 |
There is no way we can bake |
| 00:25:06 |
...for a 8-foot wide, 16-foot high... |
| 00:25:11 |
I'm gonna help you, |
| 00:25:13 |
And I have to figure out which band |
| 00:25:17 |
- I seriously can't be abandoned. I can't. |
| 00:25:21 |
Hello? |
| 00:25:23 |
Hi, Kerry. |
| 00:25:24 |
[WHISPERS] |
| 00:25:25 |
Alrighty. I'll be down in the barn |
| 00:25:28 |
Wait, I need you. |
| 00:25:29 |
I'll be down there. |
| 00:25:32 |
APRIL: This great big monstrosity mansion |
| 00:25:35 |
I hear you. |
| 00:25:47 |
Hanna. |
| 00:25:48 |
We start this mission tomorrow. |
| 00:25:50 |
And this is unacceptable. |
| 00:25:53 |
When we're trekking up a mountain, I'm not |
| 00:25:58 |
Get that tattooed. |
| 00:25:59 |
We are not gonna be in the middle |
| 00:26:02 |
- Tattoo. |
| 00:26:04 |
We gotta find our way. |
| 00:26:06 |
- This doesn't say shit. |
| 00:26:08 |
Shush, fat boy. Ville Valo. |
| 00:26:12 |
- Huh! |
| 00:26:16 |
Corona Bar? |
| 00:26:18 |
Can you have him bring |
| 00:26:23 |
Thank you, sweetheart. |
| 00:26:27 |
- You're going down. |
| 00:26:29 |
HANNA: Try a piece of paper. |
| 00:26:31 |
Anything that you get right here |
| 00:26:34 |
- Hundred percent true. |
| 00:26:36 |
- I just wrote this. |
| 00:26:39 |
This is pure bell shit. |
| 00:26:47 |
- Oh, shit. |
| 00:26:49 |
SHITBIRDZ: What's up, Seth? |
| 00:26:52 |
Making a "beeramid" tree. |
| 00:26:54 |
I got stuff. |
| 00:26:56 |
Yeah, but I got to do this first. |
| 00:26:59 |
And how big are you making it? |
| 00:27:01 |
Pretty big. We got Jimmy Pop coming |
| 00:27:05 |
SETH: I can help you. |
| 00:27:06 |
- Got a foundation to build. |
| 00:27:08 |
SHITBIRDZ: We got to drink a lot of beer. |
| 00:27:11 |
To win this bet, |
| 00:27:16 |
SETH: He's always pretty confident. |
| 00:27:19 |
He's got the gift of gab, |
| 00:27:22 |
I heard he's got a big dick. |
| 00:27:23 |
Shitbird! It's Jimmy Pop |
| 00:27:28 |
- Hey, guys. |
| 00:27:31 |
What are you doing? |
| 00:27:32 |
MISSY: |
| 00:27:34 |
Real slow-like, see. |
| 00:27:36 |
APRIL: |
| 00:27:38 |
JIMMY: Shitbirdz called and said, |
| 00:27:42 |
- What's a beeramid? |
| 00:27:44 |
I guess it looks like a Christmas tree, |
| 00:27:47 |
Stop staring at her. |
| 00:27:50 |
Wanna make gingerbread |
| 00:27:53 |
No. |
| 00:27:54 |
[VALO SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY] |
| 00:27:56 |
VALO: |
| 00:27:58 |
I'd go for it. You gotta go for it. |
| 00:28:02 |
That's what we've all been saying |
| 00:28:05 |
He wants me to tell you |
| 00:28:10 |
So I did. |
| 00:28:13 |
Hanna, a sex machine? Look at this. |
| 00:28:16 |
Take it for the team for once. |
| 00:28:18 |
- Hanna. |
| 00:28:19 |
Let me buy you a Jameson, |
| 00:28:23 |
...the highest point of Helsinki. |
| 00:28:25 |
You can look at the whole nice view |
| 00:28:30 |
A Jameson? |
| 00:28:33 |
The night keeps getting better and better |
| 00:28:36 |
Skateboarders from Finland. |
| 00:28:37 |
And Fanna's getting shit-bag wasted |
| 00:28:41 |
Getting ready for this tattoo. |
| 00:28:49 |
Oh, yeah. Fuck, yeah. |
| 00:28:56 |
This is the only way to find Santa. |
| 00:29:00 |
Lift your head up. |
| 00:29:01 |
Where's your Christmas spirit? |
| 00:29:04 |
Yeah. Dude, the spirit's great, |
| 00:29:08 |
- Okay. |
| 00:29:10 |
[HANNA SCREAMS] |
| 00:29:13 |
[SCREAMING] |
| 00:29:18 |
[ALL LAUGHING] |
| 00:29:22 |
Helsinki. |
| 00:29:28 |
Hanna, Russia called |
| 00:29:30 |
"Shut the fuck up." |
| 00:29:32 |
Why are you so pretty and alone? |
| 00:29:34 |
I'm with a group of... A bunch of dipshits |
| 00:29:38 |
...and I have a serious wager going on. |
| 00:29:41 |
And I'm sitting here with four... |
| 00:29:44 |
[WOMEN SPEAKING IN FINNISH] |
| 00:29:49 |
[HANNA SCREAMING] |
| 00:29:53 |
[VALO SINGING IN FINNISH] |
| 00:30:03 |
[HANNA GRO ANING] |
| 00:30:06 |
You are fucking hot to trot. |
| 00:30:08 |
I'm gonna have to take you |
| 00:30:11 |
Where are you flying...? |
| 00:30:13 |
[WOMEN SPEAKING IN FINNISH] |
| 00:30:15 |
NOVAK: |
| 00:30:18 |
[VALO SINGING IN FINNISH] |
| 00:30:22 |
[GRO ANING] |
| 00:30:23 |
[SPEAKS IN FINNISH] |
| 00:30:26 |
Oh, there's Rovaniemi. |
| 00:30:28 |
But what about Kasamialta? |
| 00:30:30 |
Oh, no, no, no. I don't need more. |
| 00:30:33 |
Can you...? Can you put Ruisrock |
| 00:30:36 |
JUHO: Yeah. |
| 00:30:38 |
Oh, no, no. No! No. |
| 00:30:43 |
[JUHO SPEAKS IN FINNISH] |
| 00:30:46 |
I don't know Finnish. |
| 00:30:50 |
You want a shot of Jameson? |
| 00:30:52 |
[WHIMPERS] |
| 00:30:57 |
Yeah. |
| 00:30:59 |
Oh, God. |
| 00:31:01 |
A little bit... Okay, I'll take all that. |
| 00:31:05 |
[HANNA YELLS] |
| 00:31:07 |
Sweet, Mark the Bagger's |
| 00:31:10 |
I'm on the top of the building in Helsinki |
| 00:31:15 |
WOMEN: |
| 00:31:17 |
I wanna take you to heaven... |
| 00:31:18 |
...and heaven isn't up there, |
| 00:31:22 |
So who's willing to come? |
| 00:31:23 |
WOMEN: |
| 00:31:26 |
- Show him where Estonia is. |
| 00:31:31 |
BAM: |
| 00:31:35 |
[HANNA SCREAMING] |
| 00:31:44 |
That had to hurt. That had to hurt. |
| 00:31:46 |
- Juho. |
| 00:31:48 |
I really appreciate this |
| 00:31:51 |
...to where we need to go. |
| 00:31:52 |
BAM: That's the Arctic Circle. |
| 00:31:55 |
BAM: Oh, Ruisrock's right here, dude. |
| 00:31:58 |
BAM: |
| 00:32:00 |
How am I gonna explain that |
| 00:32:04 |
BAM: |
| 00:32:08 |
BAM: Yeah. |
| 00:32:10 |
BAM: You saved Christmas |
| 00:32:13 |
You have to make those tattoos |
| 00:32:17 |
Hey. |
| 00:32:19 |
FRANTZ: |
| 00:32:20 |
Well, we're off to Tampere tomorrow |
| 00:32:23 |
...but thanks for everything. |
| 00:32:25 |
VALO: |
| 00:32:26 |
Hanna, you have the map |
| 00:32:29 |
You're a trouper. |
| 00:32:30 |
Thank you for getting me through that. |
| 00:32:37 |
SHITBIRDZ & JIMMY: |
| 00:32:39 |
Yeah. |
| 00:32:41 |
- Beeramid. |
| 00:32:43 |
SHITBIRDZ: |
| 00:32:44 |
[RATTLING AND CRASHING] |
| 00:32:47 |
[JIMMY GRO ANS] |
| 00:32:48 |
What the hell was that? |
| 00:32:50 |
Yo! |
| 00:32:52 |
Matt. |
| 00:32:53 |
[JIMMY AND SHITBIRDZ LAUGHING] |
| 00:32:56 |
Beeramid. |
| 00:32:58 |
Beeramid. |
| 00:33:00 |
When is he leaving? |
| 00:33:02 |
[ALL SHOUTING] |
| 00:33:08 |
- Tell him to shut up. |
| 00:33:10 |
APRIL: You guys have got to go. |
| 00:33:12 |
Shut up! |
| 00:33:27 |
Oh, yeah, we're at the Helsinki train station |
| 00:33:31 |
...but we found out the train is quicker... |
| 00:33:33 |
...so we are right here, right now, |
| 00:33:36 |
...to go see Hanoi Rocks |
| 00:33:41 |
But as of now? |
| 00:33:44 |
[HANNA GRUNTS] |
| 00:33:59 |
You had four hot-ass girls... |
| 00:34:02 |
...and you didn't even get anything. |
| 00:34:05 |
Because they speak Finnish. |
| 00:34:07 |
I don't understand what they're saying. |
| 00:34:09 |
They speak perfectly good English. |
| 00:34:11 |
But they talk personal |
| 00:34:13 |
And four girls talking personal |
| 00:34:16 |
It wasn't good what they were saying, |
| 00:34:20 |
- Why...? |
| 00:34:21 |
BAM: The Bagger's deep dick |
| 00:34:24 |
...and you're pussyless on a train. |
| 00:34:26 |
NOVAK: You... I've had... |
| 00:34:28 |
...where there's less people. |
| 00:34:30 |
I've had one night, one chance. |
| 00:34:33 |
...Houdini |
| 00:34:35 |
Yo! Yo! Yo! |
| 00:34:38 |
Yo! |
| 00:34:39 |
Are you looking for Santa? |
| 00:34:41 |
- Santa, yeah. |
| 00:34:42 |
CHAD: |
| 00:34:44 |
Well, thank God you guys showed up |
| 00:34:48 |
JUKKA: |
| 00:34:50 |
It's like a Finnish lady, |
| 00:34:52 |
[ALL LAUGHING] |
| 00:34:53 |
Are you guys down |
| 00:34:56 |
Oh, yeah. |
| 00:34:58 |
As a Christmas present, |
| 00:35:02 |
I don't know how you'll like this, |
| 00:35:07 |
What is that? |
| 00:35:08 |
It is a bull cock. |
| 00:35:10 |
Look at that. |
| 00:35:11 |
Look at the tip of it. |
| 00:35:12 |
JARPPl: That's a traditional |
| 00:35:16 |
We gotta give you guys |
| 00:35:18 |
That is fucking minging. |
| 00:35:19 |
NOVAK: What kind of eye is that? |
| 00:35:22 |
JUKKA: It's a reindeer eye. |
| 00:35:24 |
CHAD: Oh, my God. |
| 00:35:26 |
- Come on, you're wasting it. |
| 00:35:28 |
BAM: Eat the fucking thing. |
| 00:35:30 |
BAM: |
| 00:35:36 |
[ALL LAUGHING AND GRO ANING] |
| 00:35:44 |
JUKKA: Yeah. |
| 00:35:46 |
- Novak just ate that. |
| 00:35:49 |
Oh, my... Get that away. |
| 00:35:53 |
HANNA: It's a reindeer cock. |
| 00:35:55 |
Ew! |
| 00:35:57 |
- Oh, dude, I'm gonna reek all day. |
| 00:36:00 |
BAM: Man, and I wanted to smell good |
| 00:36:03 |
[ALL LAUGHING] |
| 00:36:04 |
NOVAK: |
| 00:36:06 |
Hey, now I understand |
| 00:36:12 |
JUKKA: |
| 00:36:15 |
Oh, no. This is the sickest cockfight |
| 00:36:18 |
- Oh, no. |
| 00:36:21 |
CHAD: |
| 00:36:24 |
FRANTZ: You better win the bet. |
| 00:36:26 |
- You better with the bet. |
| 00:36:27 |
FRANTZ: |
| 00:36:30 |
NOVAK: |
| 00:36:32 |
Dude, I really don't like this now. DeVito. |
| 00:36:35 |
DeVito. |
| 00:36:38 |
No, don't, please. Don't. |
| 00:36:39 |
[ALL LAUGHING] |
| 00:36:54 |
Did Novak just get raped... |
| 00:36:56 |
...by a dead reindeer dick? |
| 00:36:58 |
Isn't this the best Christmas ever? |
| 00:37:01 |
- Hey, Novak. |
| 00:37:03 |
Welcome to Finland. |
| 00:37:06 |
I ate an eyeball which is just making me |
| 00:37:10 |
I'm instigating so bad right now. |
| 00:37:12 |
Novak, if you had any self-respect, |
| 00:37:20 |
I ate a fucking eyeball. |
| 00:37:22 |
Get that... |
| 00:37:25 |
No one got it worse than me, |
| 00:37:27 |
- You're pissing me off. |
| 00:37:30 |
- Why are you spitting on me? |
| 00:37:36 |
Ow! Fuck. |
| 00:37:40 |
We just arrived at Tampere |
| 00:37:44 |
- We got plenty of surprises on the road. |
| 00:37:48 |
When you ate some Pringles, |
| 00:37:51 |
No, because I feel like |
| 00:37:54 |
[ALL LAUGHING] |
| 00:37:56 |
Okay, what'll make you feel better? |
| 00:37:57 |
NOVAK: Novak's five-step program |
| 00:38:00 |
...about these people |
| 00:38:03 |
...and cannot wait |
| 00:38:06 |
First, a shower to get the smell off. |
| 00:38:09 |
Two, new clothes. |
| 00:38:11 |
Third, a little lap on the town. |
| 00:38:14 |
Fourth, I get pussy with the new gear I have |
| 00:38:18 |
And what's number five? |
| 00:38:20 |
Hanoi motherfucking Rocks. |
| 00:38:28 |
BAM: You may or may not know who |
| 00:38:31 |
He's the ultimate rock 'n' roll gypsy. |
| 00:38:33 |
His band, Hanoi Rocks, |
| 00:38:36 |
Michael Monroe, |
| 00:38:38 |
This is a must. |
| 00:38:41 |
BAM: |
| 00:38:43 |
You got a new set of clothes. |
| 00:38:45 |
- I'm feeling 20 times better. |
| 00:38:49 |
He won't wait. |
| 00:38:51 |
So we gotta keep moving. |
| 00:38:52 |
But if we're in Tampere |
| 00:38:56 |
...I don't see why |
| 00:38:58 |
And plus, he must have advice |
| 00:39:01 |
I mean, he's been living in Finland |
| 00:39:05 |
That's your excuse to hang out |
| 00:39:09 |
I wanna find Santa. I wanna win this bet. |
| 00:39:11 |
- Yeah. |
| 00:39:13 |
Hey, babe. |
| 00:39:15 |
- This is Novak, here. |
| 00:39:17 |
He's gotta win this bet. |
| 00:39:18 |
DeVITO: How old are you guys? |
| 00:39:20 |
- Don't kiss her. |
| 00:39:22 |
DeVITO: Sorry. |
| 00:39:31 |
Okay, but if you wanna meet God, |
| 00:39:33 |
- You? Yeah. That's okay. |
| 00:39:37 |
Bagger, you're going down. |
| 00:39:40 |
- Now, God, meet her. |
| 00:39:45 |
Now let's go get Santa. |
| 00:40:06 |
We're in Tampere right now... |
| 00:40:08 |
...and I just got a call on my phone |
| 00:40:11 |
...and he said to meet him at his hotel |
| 00:40:16 |
And I definitely have to introduce him |
| 00:40:18 |
...because they have a lot in common. |
| 00:40:22 |
That is true. |
| 00:40:23 |
You're looking rocking, dude. |
| 00:40:32 |
Hey, hey, hey. |
| 00:40:34 |
[SPEAKS IN FINNISH] |
| 00:40:36 |
McCO Y: |
| 00:40:45 |
Weren't you banned from the U.S. |
| 00:41:22 |
You have to play in an hour, you know. |
| 00:41:25 |
[PEOPLE LAUGHING] |
| 00:41:36 |
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE] |
| 00:41:45 |
Andy promised to rock us |
| 00:41:48 |
[SINGING "G YPSY BOOTS"] |
| 00:42:15 |
JUKKA: |
| 00:42:17 |
We're going the right direction. |
| 00:42:19 |
- We still got plenty to go. |
| 00:42:22 |
We gotta keep moving. |
| 00:42:35 |
[CROWD CHEERING] |
| 00:42:37 |
How far is the hike? |
| 00:42:41 |
BAM: |
| 00:42:44 |
McCO Y: |
| 00:42:50 |
Andy McCoy says that we need |
| 00:42:54 |
- Roughly. |
| 00:42:57 |
Hanoi Rocks, acoustic for the first time. |
| 00:43:00 |
Fuck, yes. |
| 00:43:02 |
Now we gotta go. |
| 00:43:03 |
I'm serious this time. |
| 00:43:11 |
Andy McCoy just gave me |
| 00:43:15 |
...and that's hiking nine hours... |
| 00:43:17 |
...and I can't remember the rest. |
| 00:43:19 |
I think he said take a left |
| 00:43:22 |
[SINGING IN FINNISH] |
| 00:43:39 |
- We're done with this shit. |
| 00:43:41 |
Andy McCoy, |
| 00:43:44 |
- Andy McCoy. |
| 00:43:45 |
Get the fuck out of here. |
| 00:43:47 |
- Get out of here. |
| 00:44:11 |
- Yeah. |
| 00:44:13 |
Like six hours. |
| 00:44:14 |
- Six hours? |
| 00:44:16 |
- Let's take a look at where we're at. |
| 00:44:20 |
Have you shit that eyeball out yet? |
| 00:44:22 |
[NOVAK LAUGHING AND GRUNTING] |
| 00:44:25 |
HANNA: That's the eyeball. |
| 00:44:28 |
- That's the eyeball. Ew! Ew! |
| 00:44:31 |
JUKKA: |
| 00:44:33 |
BAM: |
| 00:44:36 |
NOVAK: |
| 00:44:37 |
The only thing that came out |
| 00:44:39 |
That's not even considered shit. That's a |
| 00:44:46 |
BAM: |
| 00:44:48 |
You feel that gross right now, |
| 00:44:50 |
...and dealt with it for a day. |
| 00:44:53 |
That is minging. |
| 00:44:54 |
NOVAK: |
| 00:44:56 |
I thought it would disintegrate |
| 00:44:58 |
BAM: |
| 00:45:01 |
We gotta get going. Here. |
| 00:45:04 |
Four hours, then we gotta hike the nine |
| 00:45:07 |
BAM: |
| 00:45:22 |
Goddamn, I did not realize |
| 00:45:26 |
And then we have a nine-hour trek |
| 00:45:29 |
I don't care if they're minging, |
| 00:45:32 |
- Find me a girl. |
| 00:45:35 |
FRANTZ: Bro, right there. |
| 00:45:36 |
And a son. |
| 00:45:39 |
- Yeah, see? Strikeout number 12. |
| 00:45:46 |
JIMMY: |
| 00:45:50 |
- Yeah. |
| 00:45:52 |
- Right there in the white. |
| 00:45:55 |
- Again. |
| 00:45:57 |
- Yeah, back to back. Back to back. |
| 00:46:00 |
Would you pay attention? |
| 00:46:02 |
- Back to back. |
| 00:46:05 |
- Focus. |
| 00:46:09 |
- Listen, dude. |
| 00:46:10 |
We're trying to hook you up |
| 00:46:13 |
...and Shitbirdz and I got a plan. |
| 00:46:15 |
Right behind us |
| 00:46:18 |
Do you girls like Tony Danza? |
| 00:46:20 |
Wanna come back to my place, watch |
| 00:46:24 |
And I like... I watch Saved by the Bell... |
| 00:46:27 |
...and all those other guys. |
| 00:46:29 |
Full House, yeah. |
| 00:46:32 |
NOVAK: Wait, wait, wait. We can't |
| 00:46:35 |
We stopped at that hamburger joint |
| 00:46:39 |
Why the fuck would you put your iPod |
| 00:46:43 |
Because that's all I had to carry it in. |
| 00:46:47 |
...a clean table like... |
| 00:46:49 |
- Yeah. |
| 00:46:51 |
NOVAK: That's... And we're going |
| 00:46:54 |
- Farther and... |
| 00:46:58 |
What the hell? |
| 00:47:01 |
- Yo. Yo. |
| 00:47:02 |
HANNA: You got it? |
| 00:47:03 |
- That's my iPod. |
| 00:47:06 |
NOVAK: |
| 00:47:07 |
- It's a hamburger bag. |
| 00:47:09 |
I bought a card for my girlfriend |
| 00:47:13 |
I'm writing a love note to Mandy. |
| 00:47:14 |
[IMITATES NOVAK] |
| 00:47:29 |
BAM: |
| 00:47:31 |
JUKKA: |
| 00:47:33 |
It's too small, the road is. |
| 00:47:35 |
Can't we just make a U-turn in this bus? |
| 00:47:37 |
- No, no, it's stuck. We gotta go. |
| 00:47:40 |
We've made it this far. |
| 00:47:41 |
We've never been closer to Santa |
| 00:47:44 |
You are right about that. |
| 00:47:45 |
He did bring me |
| 00:47:48 |
Me too. |
| 00:47:50 |
- I had one too. Mine was red. |
| 00:47:53 |
- So we're officially above the Arctic Circle? |
| 00:47:57 |
- Are we really, though, seriously? |
| 00:48:02 |
BAM: Dude, it's too late to hike forward now. |
| 00:48:12 |
Which way is north? |
| 00:48:14 |
JARPPl: That way. |
| 00:48:16 |
I can smell it. |
| 00:48:21 |
Do you have a compass? |
| 00:48:22 |
Suppose you think north is slightly |
| 00:48:26 |
- What happens if...? |
| 00:48:28 |
- We've been here before. |
| 00:48:30 |
...nothing but trouble's happened. |
| 00:48:33 |
All right, well, we made it this far, |
| 00:48:36 |
Let's just go where these idiots |
| 00:48:39 |
All right, this one's for Andy McCoy. |
| 00:48:47 |
JUKKA: |
| 00:48:49 |
Dude, that's the shit I'm talking about. |
| 00:48:51 |
They don't know shit about shit. |
| 00:48:53 |
- Are you winging this? |
| 00:48:55 |
- I know. I was just... |
| 00:48:58 |
HANNA: I smell bullshit. |
| 00:49:00 |
There's no way I'm letting the Bagger |
| 00:49:06 |
APRIL: |
| 00:49:08 |
SETH: |
| 00:49:10 |
- I wasn't kidding. |
| 00:49:13 |
- Big. |
| 00:49:14 |
...people lining the walls. |
| 00:49:18 |
Band there. |
| 00:49:20 |
I'm going to get his present today. |
| 00:49:22 |
- What are we doing? |
| 00:49:26 |
- Whoa. |
| 00:49:28 |
Because he needs one. |
| 00:49:29 |
- Know anything about buses? |
| 00:49:32 |
...but I asked Jimmy to come help me. |
| 00:49:34 |
SELENA: Jimmy Pop? |
| 00:49:35 |
- He knows tour buses. |
| 00:49:45 |
JUKKA: |
| 00:49:46 |
We got the huskies ready. |
| 00:49:49 |
Finally, Novak. |
| 00:49:51 |
- Yes. |
| 00:49:53 |
[BOTH SPEAKING IN FINNISH] |
| 00:49:57 |
JESSE: Has anyone taken into consideration |
| 00:50:00 |
You're thinking way ahead. |
| 00:50:02 |
Let's worry about getting there, |
| 00:50:05 |
[BARKING] |
| 00:50:19 |
[SHOUTING AND WHOOPING] |
| 00:50:27 |
[INAUDIBLE] |
| 00:50:50 |
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY] |
| 00:51:10 |
MAN: |
| 00:51:11 |
I'm looking to buy some kind of RV... |
| 00:51:14 |
...or tour bus, |
| 00:51:16 |
- Any idea what you're looking for in a bus? |
| 00:51:20 |
...and I know we want something |
| 00:51:23 |
It's funny with Bam-Bam, |
| 00:51:26 |
- It's splatter poopies. |
| 00:51:29 |
Pizza, he tends to have |
| 00:51:31 |
...but it doesn't matter what kind. |
| 00:51:35 |
[DOG WHIMPERING] |
| 00:51:37 |
Jukka. |
| 00:51:39 |
Yo, these dogs are worked. |
| 00:51:40 |
JUKKA: Yeah. |
| 00:51:42 |
Look how tired all the dogs are. |
| 00:51:44 |
JUKKA: They're dying. |
| 00:51:46 |
JUKKA: Well, think about them dragging |
| 00:51:51 |
We gotta find a new way. |
| 00:51:52 |
- Yeah. |
| 00:51:58 |
Whoo! |
| 00:52:04 |
Cheers. |
| 00:52:08 |
Aah! |
| 00:52:54 |
JUKKA: |
| 00:52:56 |
Novak. Now, this is time |
| 00:52:58 |
Did the Bagger get any pussy yet? |
| 00:53:00 |
MISSY: |
| 00:53:03 |
All right, well, Novak frenched |
| 00:53:07 |
He's gonna wind up humping a grandma. |
| 00:53:09 |
So why are you trekking |
| 00:53:12 |
Because I'm 28 years old |
| 00:53:16 |
...and I'll leave it at that. |
| 00:53:17 |
Huh. Well, just get your little butt home |
| 00:53:22 |
Well, I'll be home in probably |
| 00:53:26 |
Okay. |
| 00:53:27 |
And I'll have proper gifts for everyone. |
| 00:53:30 |
I'll have a nice surprise |
| 00:53:32 |
Love you, baby. |
| 00:53:34 |
I love you too, baby. |
| 00:53:35 |
- All right, here we go. |
| 00:53:40 |
- Perfect. |
| 00:53:41 |
Now, that's how you light a fire. |
| 00:53:43 |
What did Missy say? |
| 00:53:45 |
Barry? |
| 00:53:46 |
JESSE: Who's Barry? |
| 00:53:49 |
JUKKA: |
| 00:53:52 |
NOVAK: Is Bagger getting laid or what? |
| 00:53:56 |
FRANTZ: |
| 00:53:57 |
- Keep shoving your head up Hanna's ass. |
| 00:54:02 |
SHITBIRDZ: Ready? |
| 00:54:03 |
- Yeah. |
| 00:54:05 |
- Yeah, exactly. |
| 00:54:07 |
If that doesn't smell like tuna fish by the |
| 00:54:12 |
JIMMY: I don't know if you saw this yet. |
| 00:54:15 |
Go up and say, "I love that pink shirt. |
| 00:54:19 |
Say you're a lot... |
| 00:54:21 |
JIMMY: |
| 00:54:23 |
Good evening, ladies. |
| 00:54:24 |
My name is Mark. |
| 00:54:27 |
I love that pink outfit. |
| 00:54:31 |
- Have you ever been to Paris? |
| 00:54:35 |
Do you...? Do you live here often? |
| 00:54:38 |
I know Bam Margera. |
| 00:54:41 |
Have you ever been to New York City? |
| 00:54:43 |
Yeah. Have you? |
| 00:54:45 |
Yes, it's nice there. |
| 00:54:47 |
- I know. |
| 00:54:50 |
- Are you a fashion model? |
| 00:54:52 |
Oh. You look like you... You look like one. |
| 00:54:56 |
- Thank you. |
| 00:54:59 |
A pretty girl like you, |
| 00:55:05 |
Say, "Yo, I don't have |
| 00:55:07 |
...but if you wanna |
| 00:55:10 |
No, I won't say that. |
| 00:55:11 |
- Try that. |
| 00:55:15 |
I don't have a Lamborghini... |
| 00:55:17 |
...but would you like |
| 00:55:20 |
Could I have your panties? |
| 00:55:21 |
Have fun with Valhalla, Novak, |
| 00:55:26 |
...West Chester breast-ises. |
| 00:55:29 |
JESSE: Let him sleep. |
| 00:55:31 |
JUKKA: Yoo-hoo. |
| 00:55:33 |
JUKKA: |
| 00:55:36 |
BAM: See if he's awake. |
| 00:55:39 |
[FARTS] |
| 00:55:40 |
[NOVAK GRO ANS] |
| 00:55:41 |
NOVAK: Dude, he's dead asleep, |
| 00:55:47 |
NOVAK: We're really not hurting him, |
| 00:55:49 |
BAM: Oh, man. |
| 00:55:51 |
HANNA: Yeah, he'll flip out, dude. |
| 00:55:54 |
NOVAK: Hurry up, quick, faster. |
| 00:55:57 |
NOVAK: Dude, that's 10 years' worth |
| 00:56:01 |
It wasn't me, ladies and gentlemen. |
| 00:56:06 |
Look at Novak with Joe Frantz's hair. |
| 00:56:10 |
NOVAK: |
| 00:56:11 |
FRANTZ: |
| 00:56:12 |
NOVAK: Get up. It's time to go. |
| 00:56:15 |
FRANTZ: |
| 00:56:17 |
Did you do some...? |
| 00:56:19 |
NOVAK: No, I just farted in your face. |
| 00:56:21 |
BAM: |
| 00:56:24 |
Did you guys shit and piss on me? |
| 00:56:30 |
Fuck. |
| 00:56:32 |
Why are you staring at me? |
| 00:56:33 |
BAM: |
| 00:56:38 |
JARPPl: You might have one of those |
| 00:56:42 |
No, no, no. |
| 00:56:43 |
Is that my hair? |
| 00:56:47 |
JARPPl: I've never heard that said |
| 00:56:51 |
[FRANTZ GRUNTS] |
| 00:56:52 |
[NOVAK LAUGHING] |
| 00:56:54 |
JUKKA: |
| 00:56:55 |
NOVAK: You dipshit. |
| 00:56:58 |
BAM: Yeah, you put out the fire. |
| 00:57:03 |
SHITBIRDZ: |
| 00:57:05 |
- "Can't talk with your mouth full?" |
| 00:57:09 |
JIMMY: Check it out, |
| 00:57:11 |
- Have any Sex on the Beach? |
| 00:57:14 |
JIMMY: You want some? |
| 00:57:17 |
JIMMY: Ask her what her name... Ask her. |
| 00:57:20 |
- Say it again. |
| 00:57:29 |
Come on, yo. |
| 00:57:34 |
Dude, don't even worry. |
| 00:57:37 |
You can stand under my umbrella. |
| 00:57:39 |
Come on, let's do this. |
| 00:57:40 |
Get under the umbrella. |
| 00:57:42 |
All right, let's do this. |
| 00:57:43 |
There's no umbrella. |
| 00:57:45 |
- There's nowhere to go except the teepee. |
| 00:57:49 |
NOVAK: |
| 00:58:08 |
NOVAK: |
| 00:58:09 |
We could be in a nice, |
| 00:58:11 |
NOVAK: |
| 00:58:13 |
I thought it was a good idea |
| 00:58:15 |
[SPEAKING IN FINNISH] |
| 00:58:18 |
[DUDESONS SCREAMING] |
| 00:58:25 |
BAM: |
| 00:58:33 |
That sucked. |
| 00:58:34 |
I'm going to the teepee |
| 00:58:37 |
...and I don't care about anything else. |
| 00:58:39 |
JUKKA: Are you feeling still cold? |
| 00:59:27 |
There's a reason for everything... |
| 00:59:29 |
...and this reason |
| 00:59:32 |
...because if I tap everybody awake... |
| 00:59:34 |
...they're all gonna be angry |
| 00:59:37 |
So I'm gonna do this nice and quick. |
| 00:59:40 |
[WHISPERS] |
| 00:59:43 |
[IN NORMAL VOICE] |
| 00:59:51 |
[ALL SCREAMING] |
| 00:59:53 |
HANNA: What are you doing? |
| 01:00:01 |
JARPPl: |
| 01:00:04 |
We're awake. |
| 01:00:05 |
BAM: |
| 01:00:07 |
HANNA: |
| 01:00:08 |
I got snow in my ass crack. |
| 01:00:10 |
JESSE: You got snow on your balls. |
| 01:00:12 |
JUKKA: Where is Novak? |
| 01:00:14 |
NOVAK: I'm awake. I'm awake. |
| 01:00:17 |
NOVAK: I was the first one awake. |
| 01:00:20 |
Sorry, Novak. |
| 01:00:27 |
Let's make him into a snowman. |
| 01:00:33 |
JUKKA: Okay, hey, Novak. |
| 01:00:36 |
BAM: |
| 01:00:38 |
NOVAK: |
| 01:00:39 |
We go that way. |
| 01:00:41 |
- How do you know it's that way? |
| 01:00:44 |
- What time will we get to Santa's? |
| 01:00:46 |
JARPPl: Some hours. |
| 01:00:48 |
There's never a straight answer. |
| 01:00:51 |
Let's go, because they're lying |
| 01:00:54 |
JARPPl: We don't lie. |
| 01:01:00 |
JIMMY: Something smells good. |
| 01:01:04 |
Oh, yeah. |
| 01:01:07 |
- Hey, hey, hey. |
| 01:01:09 |
- What's up, Phil? |
| 01:01:11 |
- What? |
| 01:01:13 |
- She'll freak out if you're eating this. |
| 01:01:16 |
No, just don't let her see you eating it |
| 01:01:20 |
JIMMY: Good. |
| 01:01:21 |
PHIL: How could they not be eating it? |
| 01:01:23 |
Like, she'll get pissed the hell off |
| 01:01:26 |
She's gonna be pissed. |
| 01:01:28 |
APRIL: Please don't let me forget |
| 01:01:31 |
- Ape, I tried... |
| 01:01:33 |
- What's this? |
| 01:01:35 |
- Look at the mess they made. |
| 01:01:38 |
- I did not. |
| 01:01:40 |
Phil said we could have some. |
| 01:01:41 |
- You said they could have some? |
| 01:01:44 |
Just finish the pieces you got and go. |
| 01:01:46 |
- Are you finishing that one over there? |
| 01:01:51 |
That right there |
| 01:01:53 |
And this is exactly what Andy McCoy |
| 01:01:56 |
This long, long trek by foot. |
| 01:01:59 |
This is actually the fun part. |
| 01:02:02 |
Yeah, so now we're gonna take |
| 01:02:06 |
Because if we go in any wrong direction, |
| 01:02:09 |
All right, who's in? |
| 01:02:12 |
- No, you stay here, play with your eggs. |
| 01:02:28 |
Where the fuck is Santa? |
| 01:02:52 |
We have found Santa's house |
| 01:02:55 |
But we do know that it's thataway. |
| 01:02:57 |
And we're gonna have to walk by foot. |
| 01:03:00 |
Because Andy McCoy is always right. |
| 01:03:03 |
- He is a wise man. |
| 01:04:24 |
BAM: |
| 01:04:26 |
- Lf I die here, the mission isn't complete. |
| 01:04:29 |
- What? |
| 01:04:31 |
- Holy shit. |
| 01:04:33 |
- Are those reindeer? |
| 01:04:35 |
- Does that not mean that we're close? |
| 01:04:38 |
JESSE: Whose are those? |
| 01:04:40 |
NOVAK: They're Santa's. |
| 01:04:42 |
How do we work these things? |
| 01:04:43 |
Doesn't matter. Anything's better |
| 01:04:47 |
- I don't care if he runs me into a tree. |
| 01:04:49 |
Yo, I think he has a look on you. |
| 01:04:52 |
- About the eye. |
| 01:04:54 |
- Dude, take me to Santa's house. Let's go. |
| 01:05:01 |
[BOTH SPEAKING IN FINNISH] |
| 01:05:23 |
JUKKA: |
| 01:05:25 |
BAM: We're here. |
| 01:05:30 |
NOVAK: |
| 01:05:32 |
JESSE: |
| 01:05:33 |
[ALL SHOUTING] |
| 01:05:40 |
BAM: |
| 01:05:45 |
JARPPl: |
| 01:05:55 |
[ALL SHOUTING] |
| 01:05:58 |
JUKKA: |
| 01:05:59 |
ALL: |
| 01:06:02 |
[CHEERING] |
| 01:06:03 |
HANNA: |
| 01:06:07 |
BAM: Yeah, all right. |
| 01:06:08 |
JUKKA: |
| 01:06:10 |
NOVAK: |
| 01:06:12 |
We're at Santa's. |
| 01:06:14 |
HANNA: Yeah, motherfucker. |
| 01:06:17 |
FRANTZ: Yeah. I don't care about how cold |
| 01:06:21 |
JARPPl: Hey, fuck all you guys. |
| 01:06:23 |
JESSE: What's he eating? |
| 01:06:25 |
This is the first time you guys |
| 01:06:28 |
Bam, man, that was a long trip. |
| 01:06:34 |
I need hot chocolate with booze in it. |
| 01:06:37 |
JARPPl: Hey, ladies and gentlemen, |
| 01:06:40 |
BAM: Yeah. |
| 01:06:42 |
NOVAK: |
| 01:06:44 |
This is the first time |
| 01:06:47 |
JUKKA: Yeah. |
| 01:06:49 |
BAM: Well, my bet is won. |
| 01:06:55 |
NOVAK: |
| 01:06:56 |
BAM: Yeah. |
| 01:06:58 |
HANNA: |
| 01:07:00 |
BAM: This is it, guys. |
| 01:07:02 |
BAM: This is a real bell. |
| 01:07:04 |
You guys really did get us |
| 01:07:07 |
- Hut? |
| 01:07:08 |
JUKKA: This is a castle. |
| 01:07:11 |
JUKKA: Yoo-hoo, Santa Claus. |
| 01:07:14 |
JUKKA: Yeah. |
| 01:07:16 |
NOVAK: Where is he hiding? |
| 01:07:18 |
BAM: |
| 01:07:20 |
What are you gonna ask Santa for? |
| 01:07:22 |
- World peace. |
| 01:07:25 |
That's what everybody wants, right? |
| 01:07:27 |
JARPPl: |
| 01:07:29 |
Yeah. That's a good wish. |
| 01:07:31 |
BAM: A new... |
| 01:07:32 |
BAM: |
| 01:07:33 |
I would like to have a new thumb |
| 01:07:38 |
JUKKA: |
| 01:07:42 |
BAM: |
| 01:07:43 |
Give me something nice and surprise me. |
| 01:07:46 |
We were talking about a robot |
| 01:07:48 |
I'm pretty Ionely, haven't had a girlfriend |
| 01:07:54 |
Jess? |
| 01:07:56 |
- "Grand Theft Auto IV." |
| 01:07:58 |
- Fanna, what do you want? |
| 01:08:02 |
- What's your wish? |
| 01:08:05 |
- How? You don't know what she looks like. |
| 01:08:08 |
"What do you want for Christmas?" |
| 01:08:12 |
I want a football. |
| 01:08:25 |
- Is this it? |
| 01:08:27 |
BAM: All right, boys. |
| 01:08:30 |
All right, boys. |
| 01:08:31 |
CHAD: I'm kind of nervous. |
| 01:08:34 |
JUKKA: |
| 01:08:36 |
Yeah. |
| 01:08:38 |
NOVAK: Should we knock, be polite? |
| 01:08:40 |
CHAD: I can't handle the anticipation. |
| 01:08:42 |
- How do you get in? |
| 01:08:45 |
JARPPl: You have to know the secret knock. |
| 01:08:48 |
FRANTZ: |
| 01:08:50 |
Open the fucking door. |
| 01:08:54 |
JUKKA: Yoo-hoo! |
| 01:08:58 |
HANNA: You gotta pull. |
| 01:09:01 |
- What's...? Is he in here? |
| 01:09:03 |
JUKKA: Get in, guys. |
| 01:09:06 |
This is where you sit on his lap. |
| 01:09:08 |
- And ask for presents. |
| 01:09:09 |
- Where the hell is he? |
| 01:09:12 |
BAM: |
| 01:09:14 |
Santa! |
| 01:09:16 |
NOVAK: |
| 01:09:18 |
What the hell is that? |
| 01:09:21 |
- "Bahamas or bust!" |
| 01:09:23 |
MAN [ON RECORDING]: Ho, ho, ho. |
| 01:09:26 |
... he's off to the Bahamas. |
| 01:09:29 |
What a fat dick. |
| 01:09:30 |
[DUDESONS SPEAKING IN FINNISH] |
| 01:09:34 |
[HANNA SCREAMS] |
| 01:09:35 |
BAM: This is fucked. |
| 01:09:37 |
JUKKA: Sorry, guys. |
| 01:09:39 |
Bagger will never believe us. |
| 01:09:41 |
Fuck, fuck, fuck. |
| 01:09:47 |
All right, let's go back to Helsinki, |
| 01:09:51 |
JESSE: |
| 01:09:53 |
- Wind up in an alley. |
| 01:09:56 |
Oh, my God. |
| 01:09:58 |
I don't even feel like |
| 01:10:01 |
We don't need to. |
| 01:10:03 |
I'm not riding the reindeer again. |
| 01:10:05 |
Dude, we have to get home... |
| 01:10:08 |
...we're missing Christmas. |
| 01:10:11 |
JESSE: A what? |
| 01:10:12 |
Why didn't we take that here? |
| 01:10:14 |
Because you can't take advice |
| 01:10:18 |
HANNA: Oh, God. |
| 01:10:21 |
Wait. Are you just trying to tell me |
| 01:10:25 |
...without Santa Claus... |
| 01:10:26 |
...and the Bagger's gonna be going out |
| 01:10:34 |
[FRANTZ GRUNTING] |
| 01:10:41 |
NOVAK: |
| 01:10:42 |
Because this whole mission is a failure. |
| 01:10:45 |
Let's go back to Helsinki. |
| 01:10:47 |
Bullet train. |
| 01:10:51 |
Hey, fuck you, Santa. |
| 01:11:46 |
I definitely lost my bet, |
| 01:11:49 |
...and now I'm gonna drink my misery |
| 01:11:52 |
Misery? Speak for yourself. |
| 01:11:57 |
CHAD: |
| 01:11:59 |
...just frigging drinking away his sorrows |
| 01:12:02 |
Dude, he is bumming down there. |
| 01:12:06 |
What's Bagger gonna think? |
| 01:12:08 |
Does that make him win two bets? |
| 01:12:09 |
- No. |
| 01:12:10 |
BAM: |
| 01:12:16 |
We gotta figure this out. This is our last |
| 01:12:20 |
Gotta make it happen tonight. |
| 01:12:21 |
There's no chance |
| 01:12:24 |
We got a plan: Lamborghini... |
| 01:12:27 |
...Castle Bam, your weenie. |
| 01:12:30 |
- Yeah. |
| 01:12:31 |
Throw me that jacket. |
| 01:12:33 |
- Yeah, Bam's jacket? |
| 01:12:37 |
SHITBIRDZ: |
| 01:12:39 |
Oh, yeah. |
| 01:12:40 |
- I got an idea. |
| 01:12:47 |
- What are you drinking? |
| 01:12:49 |
- We need a beer for my friend here. |
| 01:12:52 |
How's it going? |
| 01:12:54 |
NOVAK: |
| 01:12:55 |
- Jonne. Nice to meet you. |
| 01:12:58 |
- Long time no see. |
| 01:13:01 |
Yeah. Come here. |
| 01:13:04 |
BAM: |
| 01:13:06 |
Now I'm back in Helsinki |
| 01:13:10 |
JESSE: |
| 01:13:12 |
Now I have to come up |
| 01:13:14 |
I can't come home empty-handed. |
| 01:13:16 |
- Wouldn't that suck? |
| 01:13:19 |
Let's get shit-bag wasted. |
| 01:13:24 |
Bagger, with him dressed like that, |
| 01:13:28 |
[IMITATING BAM] |
| 01:13:31 |
Phil and Ape ain't gonna care none. |
| 01:13:34 |
Let's get you laid. |
| 01:13:35 |
We got the Lamborghini, |
| 01:13:38 |
JIMMY [IN NORMAL VOICE]: |
| 01:13:39 |
We got Bam Margera. |
| 01:13:41 |
We cannot lose. All right. Those girls. |
| 01:13:43 |
- Let's do this. |
| 01:13:45 |
JIMMY: This is Mark the Bagger, our friend. |
| 01:13:47 |
- Hi. |
| 01:13:49 |
It's gonna break your heart. |
| 01:13:51 |
- A girl like you, living in Philadelphia... |
| 01:13:53 |
Like you in Philadelphia... |
| 01:13:55 |
JIMMY: |
| 01:13:57 |
Stop that. |
| 01:13:59 |
- Where in Philadelphia do you live? |
| 01:14:02 |
- Awesome. |
| 01:14:03 |
NOVAK: Holy shit. |
| 01:14:04 |
Andy in the house. |
| 01:14:08 |
NOVAK: |
| 01:14:09 |
JESSE: What did he say? |
| 01:14:13 |
- You hear that? |
| 01:14:14 |
There they are. |
| 01:14:16 |
- Hey. |
| 01:14:18 |
- You guys still whining about the Lapland? |
| 01:14:21 |
- I knew you guys liked it. |
| 01:14:24 |
And then when I got there, |
| 01:14:31 |
- Goddamn, so... |
| 01:14:33 |
Yeah, well... |
| 01:14:38 |
JUKKA: |
| 01:14:40 |
Hey, let's take that dude from there |
| 01:14:44 |
He looks exactly like Santa. |
| 01:14:45 |
- Nobody knows what Santa looks like. |
| 01:14:49 |
...send him over there? |
| 01:14:51 |
Throw him at the end of the bar, |
| 01:14:54 |
They'll fall for it. |
| 01:14:55 |
A random dude from the bar? |
| 01:14:58 |
HANNA: I think it's a good idea. |
| 01:15:01 |
JESSE: |
| 01:15:03 |
Let me call Bagger |
| 01:15:05 |
Please do. |
| 01:15:06 |
[CELL PHONE RINGING] |
| 01:15:09 |
WOMAN 1: Yes? |
| 01:15:11 |
WOMAN 1: |
| 01:15:12 |
- We gotta keep going. |
| 01:15:16 |
- Hello? |
| 01:15:19 |
Hello? |
| 01:15:21 |
- Bagger. Bagger. |
| 01:15:23 |
Hello? |
| 01:15:25 |
- What do I do? |
| 01:15:27 |
- Hello. |
| 01:15:29 |
Yeah, Novak. |
| 01:15:30 |
What are you doing now? |
| 01:15:32 |
Um, dancing with about 10 hot chicks. |
| 01:15:35 |
- Yeah, right. |
| 01:15:38 |
...Sunday night. |
| 01:15:40 |
- ... I'm going back to Bam's, motherfucker. |
| 01:15:42 |
Millionaire, what are you gonna do |
| 01:15:45 |
You lose. |
| 01:15:46 |
Talk to you later, punk-ass. Bye. |
| 01:15:56 |
They call me the big daddy. |
| 01:16:00 |
Bam, you better make a call. |
| 01:16:02 |
- He cannot get any action. |
| 01:16:04 |
- It's done. |
| 01:16:09 |
JIMMY: Ain't nothing get clam |
| 01:16:12 |
The temperature of this is higher |
| 01:16:16 |
- Ah, yeah. |
| 01:16:18 |
SHITBIRDZ: Come on in, everybody. |
| 01:16:21 |
SHITBIRDZ: |
| 01:16:27 |
[IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE] |
| 01:16:28 |
[IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE] |
| 01:16:32 |
Yoo-hoo! Over here. |
| 01:16:35 |
Yoo-hoo! I need a new beer. |
| 01:16:37 |
BAM: Baltimore. |
| 01:16:40 |
- Check him out. |
| 01:16:42 |
Andy, check him out. |
| 01:16:45 |
This guy... He's perfect. |
| 01:16:47 |
BAM: He's drunk. |
| 01:16:50 |
So what, he's drunk? |
| 01:16:51 |
BAM: |
| 01:16:53 |
...back to Pennsylvania. |
| 01:16:55 |
- Look at him. |
| 01:16:58 |
- Talk to him. |
| 01:17:00 |
- Talk to him. |
| 01:17:02 |
- You talk to him. |
| 01:17:04 |
"Come back to Pennsylvania |
| 01:17:07 |
- I never met the dude before, okay? |
| 01:17:10 |
McCO Y: Okay. |
| 01:17:12 |
So, sir... |
| 01:17:14 |
Mark the Bagger... |
| 01:17:15 |
...did I not tell you we would get |
| 01:17:20 |
You came through in the clutch, even if |
| 01:17:24 |
WOMAN: Are you having a good time? |
| 01:17:26 |
SHITBIRDZ: |
| 01:17:27 |
Oh, yeah. Fuck, yeah. |
| 01:17:30 |
SHITBIRDZ: Does your dick |
| 01:17:32 |
Fuck, yeah. |
| 01:17:35 |
- You look cute with your hair wet. |
| 01:17:40 |
Fuck, yeah. Hell, yeah. |
| 01:17:43 |
- Hi. |
| 01:17:46 |
Oh, shit. What the fuck is this? |
| 01:17:48 |
- Move over girls, these boys are ours. |
| 01:17:52 |
MAN: We have to get in, |
| 01:17:54 |
JIMMY: |
| 01:17:56 |
- Did you invite them? |
| 01:17:57 |
Did you invite them? No, no, no. |
| 01:18:01 |
I came here to hang out with chicks, |
| 01:18:05 |
- Guys, we're gonna get out. |
| 01:18:08 |
MAN: We got them... |
| 01:18:10 |
No, wait, come back here. |
| 01:18:12 |
Frankie Goes to West Chester? |
| 01:18:14 |
- What the fuck happened? |
| 01:18:17 |
You know it's bullshit. |
| 01:18:19 |
Jimmy. Shitbirdz. |
| 01:18:24 |
[McCO Y SPEAKS IN FINNISH] |
| 01:18:26 |
McCO Y: |
| 01:18:29 |
Novak. Andy got Santa to come back. |
| 01:18:32 |
Hey, we just found Santa Claus. |
| 01:18:35 |
HANNA: |
| 01:18:37 |
- Here's to Santa and Christmas. Cheers. |
| 01:18:40 |
- All right. |
| 01:18:42 |
Oh, yeah. Fuck, yeah. |
| 01:18:44 |
I was wrong. |
| 01:18:47 |
NOVAK: |
| 01:18:49 |
We just won this bet. |
| 01:18:52 |
We got Santa Claus right here, |
| 01:18:55 |
What do you have to say for yourself? |
| 01:18:58 |
The microphone looks good. I'll drink it. |
| 01:19:01 |
JUSSl: |
| 01:19:04 |
Novak just won like a motherfucker. |
| 01:19:06 |
Bagger, I'm gonna have a threesome... |
| 01:19:09 |
...with Maria and Ella, Ella, Ella. |
| 01:19:13 |
[NOVAK & BAM SINGING] |
| 01:19:16 |
Are you gonna keep me warm? |
| 01:19:18 |
- All night long? |
| 01:19:20 |
NOVAK: |
| 01:19:21 |
That wound up with two girls. |
| 01:19:25 |
Whoa. |
| 01:19:31 |
What the fuck? It's closed. |
| 01:19:36 |
I'm in knee-deep poontang. |
| 01:19:39 |
Get down. |
| 01:19:41 |
Yeah. |
| 01:19:55 |
- Hey, guys. |
| 01:19:57 |
PHIL: Welcome. |
| 01:19:58 |
- Welcome. |
| 01:19:59 |
Phil, come here, man. |
| 01:20:01 |
- Phil... |
| 01:20:03 |
- Jesse. |
| 01:20:06 |
I brought back the real Santa Claus. |
| 01:20:08 |
MISSY: Is this the real Santa? |
| 01:20:12 |
MISSY: Hey, Santa. |
| 01:20:14 |
APRIL: |
| 01:20:16 |
I've been a very, very good girl. |
| 01:20:18 |
Andy McCoy made us trek through |
| 01:20:21 |
...by foot, dogsleds, snowmobile... |
| 01:20:24 |
...helicopter and reindeer, |
| 01:20:28 |
- I've gotta hug the real Santa. |
| 01:20:31 |
I invited all your favorite skaters here. |
| 01:20:33 |
Yeah, we're having a party. |
| 01:20:35 |
MISSY: I have a bunch more surprises. |
| 01:20:46 |
- What happened to your hair? |
| 01:20:49 |
...20-some years ago, and he did this. |
| 01:20:55 |
I made it. How are you? |
| 01:20:56 |
This is the real Santa from Finland. |
| 01:20:58 |
[BOTH SPEAK IN FINNISH] |
| 01:21:01 |
- That's howdy, right? |
| 01:21:02 |
Okay. Are you gonna get a tattoo? |
| 01:21:05 |
- Oh. Been there, done that. |
| 01:21:07 |
There's a swallow. That's awesome. |
| 01:21:10 |
- Hi. |
| 01:21:15 |
Seth, I did not bring Santa all the way |
| 01:21:18 |
...to not get pulled in properly by a sled. |
| 01:21:43 |
Four thousand miles |
| 01:21:46 |
NOVAK: Yes. |
| 01:21:48 |
NOVAK: Party. |
| 01:21:50 |
But before we go in, |
| 01:21:53 |
Turn around. |
| 01:21:55 |
Everybody, make a little space. |
| 01:21:58 |
NOVAK: |
| 01:21:59 |
[HORN BLARING] |
| 01:22:01 |
[ALL CHEERING] |
| 01:22:03 |
NOVAK: Missy came in white-hot for you |
| 01:22:07 |
That's the best goddamn present |
| 01:22:18 |
- Get him. Merry Christmas. |
| 01:22:21 |
- Jimmy. |
| 01:22:24 |
- What ha...? What is this? |
| 01:22:26 |
Well, Jimmy's driving. |
| 01:22:28 |
MISSY: I know. He helped me. |
| 01:22:29 |
- You picked it out? |
| 01:22:31 |
- We hung out while you were gone. |
| 01:22:33 |
- What kind of hanging out? |
| 01:22:35 |
- High-five. |
| 01:22:38 |
I didn't see inside, but it looks pretty |
| 01:22:42 |
But I do know one thing... |
| 01:22:44 |
...you lost the bet. |
| 01:22:45 |
- Yeah, I sure did. |
| 01:22:48 |
Well, everything was going perfect |
| 01:22:51 |
...fruits or something our way. |
| 01:22:55 |
- I don't know what they were. |
| 01:22:58 |
Sexy robot. I can have threesomes |
| 01:23:01 |
I told you Santa's not from the North Pole, |
| 01:23:05 |
- Bagger, this is the real Santa Claus. |
| 01:23:09 |
[SPEAKS IN FINNISH] |
| 01:23:11 |
I brought home Santa Claus, |
| 01:23:15 |
MARK: Oh, well. |
| 01:23:17 |
- What? |
| 01:23:19 |
NOVAK: You didn't...? |
| 01:23:22 |
BAM: That's what he wanted. |
| 01:23:25 |
Well, it... You know. |
| 01:23:27 |
- I knew that Novak would win. |
| 01:23:29 |
Thanks for pimping me out. |
| 01:23:31 |
He doesn't know about the Jimmy Pop quiz |
| 01:23:40 |
The barn is your second part |
| 01:23:42 |
My first favorite |
| 01:23:45 |
Nick Dompierre and Kerry Getz |
| 01:23:49 |
Wait till you see. |
| 01:23:52 |
[ALL CHEERING] |
| 01:24:03 |
Riled up. |
| 01:24:13 |
- You need to call a doctor. |
| 01:24:16 |
[SINGING "STEP DOWN"] |
| 01:25:52 |
SINGER: |
| 01:26:10 |
[CROWD GRO ANS] |
| 01:26:45 |
[CHEERING] |
| 01:26:47 |
BAM: |
| 01:26:50 |
Thanks, everyone, for coming out. |
| 01:26:53 |
This one goes out to Santa... |
| 01:26:55 |
...the real motherfucking Santa |
| 01:26:58 |
And by the way, |
| 01:27:02 |
Did he leave you already? |
| 01:27:04 |
He's sick of your ass. |
| 01:27:05 |
BAM: |
| 01:27:08 |
I told you I'd get you a gift. |
| 01:27:10 |
- You always lie to me. Why say...? |
| 01:27:13 |
- Bullshit. |
| 01:27:16 |
...he was doing some nice work |
| 01:27:19 |
The one that I've bought |
| 01:27:21 |
...I've ever saved in my life? |
| 01:27:23 |
This better be like a Lamborghini |
| 01:27:27 |
- Close to it. |
| 01:27:30 |
And it's all yours. |
| 01:27:31 |
BAM: |
| 01:27:34 |
- All right. |
| 01:27:37 |
I spent all my money on this car |
| 01:27:41 |
- It's your car. |
| 01:27:43 |
It's not that bad? Look at it. |
| 01:27:45 |
I think you need a drink. |
| 01:27:47 |
And I get a new car tomorrow? |
| 01:27:49 |
BAM: I'll hold the umbrella over your head |
| 01:27:51 |
- You'll be my assistant today? |
| 01:27:53 |
Because I'm sorry. |
| 01:27:55 |
And then, what's the next gift? |
| 01:27:58 |
No, a sexy robot. |
| 01:27:59 |
I don't need a robot to bang out. |
| 01:28:03 |
Where do you wanna go? |
| 01:28:05 |
I wanna go to Italy. |
| 01:28:07 |
When? |
| 01:28:08 |
The next movie. |
| 01:28:10 |
Jiminy Christmas. |
| 01:28:11 |
- Where's Santa? |
| 01:28:13 |
Give me a present that's right, |
| 01:28:16 |
Sick of this, man. |
| 01:28:18 |
If he don't want it, I'll take it. |
| 01:28:20 |
It's yours. |
| 01:28:22 |
- Merry Christmas, Chad. |
| 01:28:25 |
By the way, |
| 01:28:28 |
SETH: He smells differently |
| 01:28:30 |
Don't tell anybody, but he's just a random |
| 01:28:36 |
Where is the real Santa? |
| 01:28:57 |
[SNORING] |
| 01:29:20 |
Merry Christmas, babe. |
| 01:29:23 |
Taste it. |
| 01:29:43 |
Gifts from the real Santa. |
| 01:29:45 |
- This is to Bam. |
| 01:29:47 |
Osama Bin Laden |
| 01:29:51 |
FRANTZ: That's awesome. |
| 01:29:53 |
- It's Early American non-arrowheads. |
| 01:29:57 |
FRANTZ: That's awesome. |
| 01:29:59 |
APRIL: |
| 01:30:01 |
Yeah, yeah, that present sucks. |
| 01:30:04 |
- Oh, man, all right. |
| 01:30:07 |
PHIL: |
| 01:30:09 |
It's got the birdie and all. |
| 01:30:12 |
[ALL CHEERING] |
| 01:30:13 |
- Frantz. |
| 01:30:18 |
It's what I always wanted. |
| 01:30:19 |
NOVAK: |
| 01:30:22 |
Kurt Cobain's rolling over in his grave |
| 01:30:25 |
- Who's next? |
| 01:30:27 |
NOVAK: |
| 01:30:29 |
Dude. |
| 01:30:31 |
CHAD: |
| 01:30:33 |
Yeah, there you go. |
| 01:30:36 |
FRANTZ: What could this be? |
| 01:30:38 |
APRIL: Wow. |
| 01:30:41 |
BAM: Go like this with your hair. |
| 01:30:44 |
What about...? What about me? |
| 01:30:45 |
- This is for you. |
| 01:30:48 |
I'm guessing it's a hockey stick. |
| 01:30:52 |
I mean, a hockey stick... I guess |
| 01:30:59 |
APRIL: Whoa! |
| 01:31:01 |
Oh, wait, I almost forgot. |
| 01:31:03 |
APRIL: |
| 01:31:05 |
FRANTZ: A passport? |
| 01:31:08 |
- You had it the whole fucking time? |
| 01:31:11 |
- Payback's a bitch. |
| 01:31:13 |
...I looked for that thing? |
| 01:31:17 |
I had to go to fucking Philadelphia |
| 01:31:20 |
I bought a car. You ruined it |
| 01:31:23 |
Yeah, but I almost didn't get |
| 01:31:26 |
- This is for you. |
| 01:31:29 |
FRANTZ: |
| 01:31:31 |
What a jerk. |
| 01:31:33 |
Well, now that this is all over, |
| 01:31:38 |
NOVAK: No, come on, |
| 01:31:41 |
FRANTZ: |
| 01:31:42 |
NOVAK: The joke is over. |
| 01:31:44 |
- I'm shipping you back to Baltimore. |
