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Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins
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Lights, camera, access. |
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Yes, it's true. The master |
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Talk show host Dr. RJ Stevens has |
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recent winner |
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What's good, family? |
| 00:01:06 |
The Doctor's show, |
| 00:01:09 |
I've been banging your sister. |
| 00:01:12 |
...party-like atmosphere and |
| 00:01:16 |
The team of who? |
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Me! |
| 00:01:18 |
Rely on yourself. |
| 00:01:20 |
...has gotten a significant |
| 00:01:22 |
since news of his impending |
| 00:01:25 |
This is, no doubt, welcome news to the |
| 00:01:29 |
The TV reality star |
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to outwit, outplay |
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on her quest |
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It's a Q-rating bonanza, |
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as these two couldn't be |
| 00:01:41 |
Life is good |
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- Wow. |
| 00:01:46 |
That was fabulous! |
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Honey, I'm so proud |
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You're such a star. |
| 00:01:54 |
He is a superstar. |
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Now, that is how |
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That was genius. |
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- You're the talk of the town! |
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Could you imagine this |
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With a girl like that? |
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Hit show, big mansion on the |
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You look great, |
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Shit, man, that's all this |
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Besides the hunger pains, |
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Cheers. |
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Get going. |
| 00:02:28 |
That sounds |
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Great. |
| 00:02:34 |
Well, it's nice speaking |
| 00:02:38 |
It's your mom. Hurry up. |
| 00:02:41 |
- Hi! |
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You made it. Oh, my God. |
| 00:02:46 |
Hey, Mama. |
| 00:02:48 |
Well, hello, stranger. |
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We're just beginning to think |
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No, Mama. I can't forget |
| 00:02:58 |
And I didn't forget |
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I sent y'all |
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One inch for every year. |
| 00:03:08 |
That's sweet, baby. But |
| 00:03:12 |
She sounds so nice. |
| 00:03:14 |
Bianca, Mama. |
| 00:03:17 |
Oh, I'm sorry. |
| 00:03:21 |
Well, baby, you know |
| 00:03:24 |
Mama, I don't think we're |
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Jamaal, you know, he's |
| 00:03:32 |
The boy loves himself |
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I know. He talks to |
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Jamaal and Daddy |
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And writing letters. |
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Lord... You know, we haven't seen |
| 00:03:45 |
You've just got to come. |
| 00:03:48 |
We got Ellie |
| 00:03:50 |
Clyde and Lucinda and... |
| 00:03:52 |
Lucinda? |
| 00:03:54 |
Lucinda and Clyde? |
| 00:03:55 |
Mmm-hmm. |
| 00:03:56 |
They're coming together? |
| 00:03:58 |
But I... I thought... |
| 00:03:59 |
That's a lot |
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Hey, Daddy. |
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Especially from someone who has shown |
| 00:04:08 |
Yes, sir, but I... |
| 00:04:09 |
If you can find the time to |
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or "Sisters Gone Wild" |
| 00:04:17 |
then you can find the time to |
| 00:04:20 |
So you've been watching! |
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Boy, don't disappoint |
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Go, Jamaal! |
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There you go, |
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Boy, that |
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Right. Move. |
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Come on, get it, get it, |
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Let it go, Jamaal! |
| 00:04:58 |
That's a winner, Jamaal! |
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Hey, RJ, I'll see you later, man. Okay, |
| 00:05:11 |
Jamaal, way to go. Way to |
| 00:05:14 |
Good going, guys! |
| 00:05:17 |
That's my boy. |
| 00:05:22 |
That's a lot of running for one |
| 00:05:28 |
Dad, you should |
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Hey, I'm here. |
| 00:05:33 |
Dad, why don't you want to go |
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Come on. |
| 00:05:39 |
Papa Jenkins says |
| 00:05:42 |
He said all my cousins'll be |
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Oh, really? What else |
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I don't know. School, my |
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Global warming? |
| 00:05:55 |
We talk about a lot of stuff. |
| 00:05:59 |
Can't we please go? |
| 00:06:04 |
I'll think about it, Jamaal. |
| 00:06:07 |
Oh. Talk it over |
| 00:06:13 |
Boss? |
| 00:06:17 |
Son, men run things |
| 00:06:21 |
And between us men, never let a woman |
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Your dad's |
| 00:06:31 |
Who's in control? |
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Tell me. |
| 00:06:34 |
I don't know! |
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Take me higher, |
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Oh, no. |
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Come on. Take me. Harder! |
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Come on, lover! |
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Yes! |
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Push it! |
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What the hell are you... |
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Oh. |
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Speaking in tongues. |
| 00:07:02 |
I'm so proud of you. |
| 00:07:06 |
I want to look hot |
| 00:07:10 |
So now... |
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Can you untie me first? |
| 00:07:22 |
Babe? |
| 00:07:24 |
Babe! Babe... |
| 00:07:31 |
It's all done. |
| 00:07:34 |
Honey? I'm hearing a tinge |
| 00:07:38 |
I'm cool. You know, it's... It'll be |
| 00:07:43 |
Exactly. |
| 00:07:45 |
This will solidify |
| 00:07:48 |
We'll tape your parents' banquet, you |
| 00:07:54 |
Oh, my God! |
| 00:07:57 |
Yeah. |
| 00:07:58 |
"Country boy done good returns |
| 00:08:04 |
Hey, my... |
| 00:08:07 |
See? That's |
| 00:08:10 |
Baby, I've dated |
| 00:08:13 |
Athletes, CEOs, princes, bad |
| 00:08:20 |
No, no, I get it. |
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But I've never connected with any |
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RJ Stevens. |
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Mmm. |
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Team of Me. |
| 00:08:37 |
Your very words helped me win Survivor, |
| 00:08:43 |
They did, didn't they? Uh-huh. |
| 00:08:46 |
See? We connect. |
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Yes. |
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We're winners. |
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And you? |
| 00:08:54 |
I am the man. |
| 00:08:55 |
Say it louder. |
| 00:08:56 |
I'm the man. |
| 00:08:58 |
Say it louder. |
| 00:08:59 |
I'm the man! |
| 00:09:23 |
Honey, |
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Baby, men don't |
| 00:09:32 |
What do you have |
| 00:09:34 |
You went 39 days on a desert island |
| 00:09:40 |
I need options. |
| 00:09:42 |
Damn the options. |
| 00:09:47 |
I'd be happy |
| 00:09:48 |
Hell, no! |
| 00:09:52 |
I had some bad experiences. |
| 00:09:55 |
I'll just slip it |
| 00:09:59 |
It's the safest place |
| 00:10:22 |
Let's get |
| 00:10:23 |
Uh-uh-uh. |
| 00:10:25 |
I got you beet juice. |
| 00:10:27 |
Come on, baby, |
| 00:10:28 |
Precisely. |
| 00:10:30 |
It's an excellent |
| 00:10:31 |
Your drink, sir. |
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Enjoy. |
| 00:10:37 |
Once we have reached |
| 00:10:39 |
Hey, Dad? |
| 00:10:40 |
Yeah, son? |
| 00:10:41 |
This is gonna be |
| 00:10:44 |
Anything for you, |
| 00:10:51 |
And now we ask you to please relax, |
| 00:10:59 |
Ladies and gentlemen, |
| 00:11:02 |
How does his bag get lost |
| 00:11:04 |
Explain that to me. |
| 00:11:06 |
Where's your father? |
| 00:11:07 |
He won't come out |
| 00:11:09 |
The white zone is for immediate |
| 00:11:12 |
Honey, how do |
| 00:11:15 |
Flight 514 from Atlanta, your |
| 00:11:36 |
You mean to tell me |
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this is the only pair of pants you |
| 00:11:41 |
I like it. Colors |
| 00:11:46 |
Babe, I look |
| 00:11:49 |
Look... Look at how tight |
| 00:11:54 |
I see that, tiger. |
| 00:11:56 |
Come. Let's get the car. |
| 00:12:05 |
Ladies and gentlemen, for |
| 00:12:07 |
please do not leave |
| 00:12:16 |
Wow, the whole weekend is planned. |
| 00:12:19 |
There's a barbecue today, |
| 00:12:22 |
a fish fry on Saturday. |
| 00:12:24 |
Oh, look! An obstacle course race! |
| 00:12:27 |
And the anniversary |
| 00:12:29 |
Cool! |
| 00:12:35 |
Nice ears, Dad. |
| 00:12:38 |
Oh, man. |
| 00:12:42 |
Oh, man. |
| 00:12:53 |
Hey, now! |
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How terribly quaint. |
| 00:12:59 |
It has. I told you, don't |
| 00:13:03 |
What the hell? |
| 00:13:06 |
That shit was |
| 00:13:10 |
Oh, damn! |
| 00:13:12 |
Oh, my God, baby, you |
| 00:13:17 |
Do you know them? |
| 00:13:18 |
I don't know her, but |
| 00:13:21 |
You got your jewelry? |
| 00:13:24 |
All right? 'Cause the |
| 00:13:27 |
Oh, no. Oh, no, |
| 00:13:29 |
Oh, that's him! |
| 00:13:31 |
Here he comes, |
| 00:13:32 |
My nigga Roscoe Steven Jenkins! |
| 00:13:37 |
What's up? |
| 00:13:40 |
What up, cuz? |
| 00:13:42 |
How you doing? |
| 00:13:44 |
Come on, man, |
| 00:13:45 |
Man, what's happening? |
| 00:13:47 |
Oh, man, |
| 00:13:49 |
Look, you got them |
| 00:13:51 |
"Hey, Boo-Boo, let me get |
| 00:13:55 |
I guess Outkast's about to name |
| 00:14:00 |
Yeah, but don't be mad 'cause |
| 00:14:03 |
Ain't that right, baby? |
| 00:14:05 |
Why do you |
| 00:14:07 |
That's his government name. |
| 00:14:11 |
Oh, not into full |
| 00:14:14 |
Okay. Welcome to the family. |
| 00:14:16 |
Thank you. |
| 00:14:17 |
Lookie here, |
| 00:14:19 |
First it was Survivor, now |
| 00:14:23 |
Oh, stop it. |
| 00:14:25 |
Oh, hell, yeah, really! |
| 00:14:27 |
My God, I'll drink your dishwater, |
| 00:14:31 |
I'll drink |
| 00:14:32 |
Boy, you do your thing. |
| 00:14:34 |
Look at you doing your thing, |
| 00:14:36 |
Thing, boy! You do |
| 00:14:37 |
Do your thing, boy. You do |
| 00:14:40 |
Hey, why'd you keep |
| 00:14:41 |
Oh, you do your thing. Man, you |
| 00:14:43 |
Would you lookie here? |
| 00:14:44 |
Hi! |
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I'm Amy. |
| 00:14:47 |
Yeah, me and Amy are friends, |
| 00:14:50 |
She's been a real inspiration to |
| 00:14:53 |
You know what |
| 00:14:54 |
And my dad's company |
| 00:14:56 |
It's Pimp Nasty |
| 00:14:59 |
- Pimp Nasty? |
| 00:15:01 |
So everything is... Hey, boy, |
| 00:15:05 |
Get back! Get back! |
| 00:15:06 |
Water rat! That's a |
| 00:15:08 |
Get back. |
| 00:15:10 |
Reg, come on. |
| 00:15:11 |
It's okay, Fifi. |
| 00:15:13 |
Reggie, man. |
| 00:15:15 |
It's Fiona. |
| 00:15:16 |
Yo quiero Taco Bell. I |
| 00:15:18 |
I thought it was a little fur |
| 00:15:20 |
that damn walked |
| 00:15:24 |
Man, Mama J sent us down |
| 00:15:27 |
And? |
| 00:15:28 |
We're probably |
| 00:15:29 |
$300? |
| 00:15:31 |
For some ice? |
| 00:15:32 |
You must think |
| 00:15:34 |
No, I know you |
| 00:15:35 |
You standing there with that |
| 00:15:37 |
Look like |
| 00:15:44 |
What? It's just $300, |
| 00:15:47 |
You're not cheap, baby. |
| 00:15:49 |
You don't know him like |
| 00:15:52 |
It's only $300, |
| 00:15:53 |
That's it, $300. |
| 00:15:56 |
Please? |
| 00:15:58 |
Go on, baby. |
| 00:16:02 |
For the family. |
| 00:16:14 |
All right, |
| 00:16:17 |
Papa? |
| 00:16:18 |
They made it! |
| 00:16:20 |
Told you. Well, come on. |
| 00:16:26 |
Come on, baby. |
| 00:16:31 |
Oh, my baby's home! |
| 00:16:33 |
Hey, Mama. |
| 00:16:36 |
Well, well. |
| 00:16:38 |
My grandson's father, |
| 00:16:43 |
It's been a long time, Dr. Stevens. |
| 00:16:45 |
Dad, that's just |
| 00:16:47 |
Yeah, I know. |
| 00:16:49 |
Jamaal, welcome back. |
| 00:16:51 |
Thanks, |
| 00:16:52 |
Oh, and this is Blanca! |
| 00:16:57 |
You must got some Indian in |
| 00:17:01 |
Roscoe, you been eating? |
| 00:17:05 |
Don't look like |
| 00:17:07 |
I know! Doesn't he look fabulous? |
| 00:17:09 |
Yeah, he looks |
| 00:17:11 |
Downright metrosexual, with |
| 00:17:14 |
Oh, no. You should have seen his |
| 00:17:18 |
It was exquisite. |
| 00:17:20 |
Are you kidding? |
| 00:17:24 |
What? I didn't say "outfit." |
| 00:17:27 |
Got you! |
| 00:17:28 |
Get... Get off. |
| 00:17:29 |
Let me see |
| 00:17:30 |
Otis! |
| 00:17:32 |
Get off me. |
| 00:17:33 |
Just like old times again. |
| 00:17:34 |
Lord, Otis. Do it, do |
| 00:17:36 |
Mama! Mama. |
| 00:17:38 |
Come on, boy, let's |
| 00:17:39 |
Let go of me, O. |
| 00:17:40 |
Yeah, go ahead, do it. I want you |
| 00:17:47 |
Bianca, this is my country, |
| 00:17:53 |
The sheriff. |
| 00:17:54 |
Southern hospitality |
| 00:17:57 |
Get up off that! |
| 00:18:00 |
This here is Ruthie. |
| 00:18:01 |
And that's my baby |
| 00:18:02 |
Wow, Ruthie, you look |
| 00:18:06 |
No, I'm just six months. |
| 00:18:08 |
But I bet y'all be |
| 00:18:11 |
Oh, God, no! Nothing's |
| 00:18:15 |
Hmm. |
| 00:18:16 |
At least not right now. |
| 00:18:20 |
Are you really the sheriff? |
| 00:18:22 |
Mmm-hmm. |
| 00:18:23 |
"To serve and protect." |
| 00:18:26 |
Meet your cousins. |
| 00:18:30 |
Oh, damn! |
| 00:18:34 |
All steroids |
| 00:18:36 |
Them some |
| 00:18:39 |
No, I'm serious. Mama, them |
| 00:18:42 |
Like, they be 12. |
| 00:18:47 |
Respect... |
| 00:18:52 |
This here's your cousin Jamaal. |
| 00:18:53 |
Get him a bat, and get |
| 00:18:56 |
And, Callie, |
| 00:18:59 |
You got it, Daddy. |
| 00:19:02 |
Come on, son. You and |
| 00:19:07 |
You play baseball, |
| 00:19:09 |
All right, |
| 00:19:10 |
Well, Blanca, you want to come |
| 00:19:13 |
And, Roscoe, you get the bags and |
| 00:19:16 |
Okay. |
| 00:19:17 |
And, baby, |
| 00:19:19 |
please find some clothes that fit. You |
| 00:19:28 |
Oh, God. It's good to see you, man. |
| 00:19:34 |
Little help |
| 00:19:36 |
Man, I ain't no bellhop. Plus, |
| 00:19:41 |
Got you! |
| 00:19:42 |
Southern hospitality! |
| 00:19:47 |
And next time |
| 00:19:49 |
wear some deodorant, |
| 00:19:55 |
Oh, shit! |
| 00:19:57 |
Come here, boy! I'm an all-State |
| 00:20:00 |
Mama! I said leave me |
| 00:20:08 |
I haven't had so many people in |
| 00:20:11 |
No, you use this one. |
| 00:20:15 |
You a bad bitch! |
| 00:20:16 |
Oh! Oh! |
| 00:20:18 |
Wait a minute, girl. I'm |
| 00:20:22 |
You are the baddest |
| 00:20:25 |
Soon to be my sister-in-law, |
| 00:20:27 |
I'm honored! |
| 00:20:29 |
Thank you. |
| 00:20:30 |
All right, now, now, now, |
| 00:20:32 |
Tell me the truth, 'cause |
| 00:20:34 |
Can that hook-head handle you? |
| 00:20:38 |
'Cause we too much woman |
| 00:20:42 |
Betty, let |
| 00:20:44 |
Now, is the tea ready? |
| 00:20:45 |
It's right here, Mama. |
| 00:20:46 |
Binaca, you got to |
| 00:20:47 |
I'm telling you right now, this tea |
| 00:20:51 |
Best in the county. |
| 00:20:53 |
It's Bianca. |
| 00:20:55 |
And I'd love to. Cheers! |
| 00:21:03 |
God, that's liquid |
| 00:21:06 |
No, no. No, no, wait |
| 00:21:08 |
Don't get |
| 00:21:10 |
'Cause I'm gonna let you know |
| 00:21:12 |
they rave about my sweet tea |
| 00:21:16 |
It ain't the sweet tea. It's |
| 00:21:19 |
I'm just doing my part, |
| 00:21:23 |
And if them brothers need |
| 00:21:26 |
to get them through |
| 00:21:29 |
then, Father God and all the heavens |
| 00:21:35 |
Girl, don't make me sick. |
| 00:21:37 |
Thank you. Betty, your thong |
| 00:21:40 |
Ditto. |
| 00:21:44 |
Wait a minute. |
| 00:21:45 |
Now, see, we trying to bond with |
| 00:21:48 |
but you getting it twisted. |
| 00:21:50 |
But don't get it twisted. |
| 00:21:53 |
This kitchen here is my domain. |
| 00:21:57 |
And then this lab rat got to go. Got to go. |
| 00:22:05 |
Know who I am, okay? |
| 00:22:07 |
Now ditto that! |
| 00:22:09 |
Yes, sir. Can I help you? |
| 00:22:12 |
Yeah. What is your name? |
| 00:22:14 |
Luqueesha? |
| 00:22:15 |
Look here, |
| 00:22:17 |
Sir, could you |
| 00:22:18 |
Yeah, I'll hold. |
| 00:22:53 |
Bucky? |
| 00:22:55 |
You done messed around |
| 00:22:58 |
You still alive? |
| 00:23:03 |
Yeah, you used to terrorize me |
| 00:23:05 |
I don't play that now, man. I'm a grown |
| 00:23:10 |
I should kick you in |
| 00:23:13 |
Yeah. Yeah, when you |
| 00:23:15 |
Hello, Dr. Stevens? |
| 00:23:16 |
Yeah, excuse me. |
| 00:23:18 |
We found your bag. |
| 00:23:19 |
Well, all right. |
| 00:23:21 |
We just need an address. |
| 00:23:24 |
Get off me, you crazy dog! |
| 00:23:28 |
What the hell? |
| 00:23:37 |
You gonna stay inside |
| 00:23:40 |
No, sir. |
| 00:23:41 |
Daddy, you don't |
| 00:23:44 |
I just don't want to |
| 00:23:46 |
Offend me? |
| 00:23:47 |
Hey, hey, Daddy, how come |
| 00:23:52 |
I don't need |
| 00:23:54 |
That console's been there |
| 00:23:59 |
Daddy, this is |
| 00:24:03 |
Football on Sundays, them |
| 00:24:07 |
Make you feel like |
| 00:24:08 |
I am really gonna be there. |
| 00:24:11 |
Your cousin Clyde |
| 00:24:15 |
See that picture? |
| 00:24:20 |
Man, that Clyde |
| 00:24:24 |
Yeah, Clyde's special. |
| 00:24:28 |
I gotta get outside. I'm grooming |
| 00:24:47 |
Reg. |
| 00:24:49 |
That don't look |
| 00:24:51 |
It's hot down here, man. Half of |
| 00:24:55 |
I'm telling you, |
| 00:24:56 |
It's hot down... Ask anybody |
| 00:24:59 |
I ain't gonna lie |
| 00:25:00 |
Whatever. |
| 00:25:02 |
Hey, O. |
| 00:25:03 |
How old is crazy-ass Bucky? |
| 00:25:07 |
Bucky's at least 25 now. |
| 00:25:09 |
Yeah. Yeah, that dog is old, boy. |
| 00:25:11 |
Are you serious? |
| 00:25:12 |
That's 175 people years! |
| 00:25:15 |
And he's still a little |
| 00:25:17 |
You better watch |
| 00:25:19 |
He gonna hit her in the one that |
| 00:25:24 |
He good at scooping up behind you. |
| 00:25:27 |
So, did I hear Clyde |
| 00:25:34 |
Mmm-hmm. |
| 00:25:35 |
Should be here |
| 00:25:38 |
I thought |
| 00:25:40 |
Uh-uh. |
| 00:25:41 |
That ended a while ago, baby bro. |
| 00:25:42 |
Yeah, that... Man, no, |
| 00:25:44 |
and that smooth nigga Clyde supposed |
| 00:25:48 |
What you mean, "again"? He |
| 00:25:52 |
Lookie here. |
| 00:25:54 |
"He's never been |
| 00:25:56 |
"Never!" |
| 00:25:57 |
What, you look like you trying |
| 00:26:01 |
No, I'm just setting the |
| 00:26:05 |
Set the record |
| 00:26:08 |
Good God Almighty, |
| 00:26:11 |
Yeah, baby, they're |
| 00:26:13 |
Now, I need your discriminate tongue |
| 00:26:18 |
You know how |
| 00:26:25 |
Give him some bread |
| 00:26:26 |
No, no, I'm cool. I'm |
| 00:26:30 |
Skinless. |
| 00:26:32 |
Why? You Muslim now? |
| 00:26:34 |
You a Five Percenter? |
| 00:26:35 |
Nah. |
| 00:26:36 |
I just adopted a low-fat, |
| 00:26:41 |
"Bianca and I..." |
| 00:26:43 |
The black Paris Hilton done |
| 00:26:45 |
That's what's up. |
| 00:26:47 |
Bullshit! You on that |
| 00:26:50 |
Give me... Let me see this. You see |
| 00:26:55 |
and right on time. |
| 00:26:58 |
Man! Look at that. |
| 00:27:00 |
Want some of this |
| 00:27:01 |
Yeah, go on. Get... Go on, |
| 00:27:03 |
Don't be scared. You got |
| 00:27:06 |
Go on, get down, like you live. |
| 00:27:08 |
Bite that. |
| 00:27:10 |
How about a piece, |
| 00:27:12 |
Stop being so scary, man. |
| 00:27:13 |
Farrakhan ain't |
| 00:27:16 |
Man! |
| 00:27:17 |
Come on! The Last King |
| 00:27:21 |
With the Forest Whitaker eye. |
| 00:27:24 |
Wait, look. Put a little |
| 00:27:26 |
Might jump up out of there. |
| 00:27:29 |
Boy, you crazy. |
| 00:27:33 |
Yes, indeed, that's gonna be |
| 00:27:39 |
Now, in episode 11, did you |
| 00:27:42 |
I had to have |
| 00:27:44 |
But you threw it up. |
| 00:27:47 |
Whether on Survivor or in life, |
| 00:27:52 |
That's why RJ and I |
| 00:27:58 |
Girl, you tripping. |
| 00:28:00 |
You better mind out, Betty. |
| 00:28:01 |
Come on now, Mama. |
| 00:28:02 |
Roscoe and winning don't |
| 00:28:05 |
Only Clyde gets that distinction. |
| 00:28:08 |
Who's Clyde? |
| 00:28:09 |
Oh. |
| 00:28:10 |
I'm glad you asked. |
| 00:28:12 |
Clyde is our cousin. He came to live |
| 00:28:15 |
They became famous and |
| 00:28:19 |
Bitch, are you crazy? |
| 00:28:20 |
They was in a car accident. |
| 00:28:24 |
Anyway, now Roscoe and Clyde |
| 00:28:28 |
is not quite accurate, 'cause Clyde used |
| 00:28:33 |
I don't know about |
| 00:28:35 |
Everything, Mama! |
| 00:28:39 |
Basketball. |
| 00:28:40 |
Game! |
| 00:28:42 |
Checkers. |
| 00:28:45 |
King me. |
| 00:28:46 |
Chess. |
| 00:28:48 |
Checkmate. |
| 00:28:49 |
Arm wrestling. |
| 00:28:54 |
Oops. |
| 00:28:55 |
That was me. |
| 00:28:57 |
You're telling me |
| 00:28:59 |
Never. |
| 00:29:00 |
That is, of course, until |
| 00:29:04 |
Obstacle course? |
| 00:29:05 |
Yep. It's a |
| 00:29:07 |
Have fun, now! |
| 00:29:08 |
Yeah! |
| 00:29:09 |
Clyde, Roscoe, |
| 00:29:13 |
Clyde and Roscoe |
| 00:29:15 |
that the winner would get to ask |
| 00:29:20 |
And who is Lucinda Allen? |
| 00:29:22 |
Only the most popular Southern belle |
| 00:29:26 |
The Spring Formal Queen |
| 00:29:28 |
So what happened? |
| 00:29:29 |
Girl, your man took off |
| 00:29:36 |
Come on! |
| 00:29:38 |
He moved through that obstacle |
| 00:29:41 |
Doing it! |
| 00:29:49 |
Now, see, Clyde was right there with |
| 00:29:53 |
He was trying to hold on |
| 00:29:56 |
But old Roscoe... |
| 00:29:57 |
Old Roscoe broke |
| 00:30:00 |
He smiled so hard, I thought |
| 00:30:03 |
Yes! |
| 00:30:07 |
Yes! I won! |
| 00:30:09 |
I ain't never seen Mama and |
| 00:30:12 |
Aw. |
| 00:30:14 |
Now all Roscoe had to do |
| 00:30:19 |
Lucinda? |
| 00:30:21 |
Will you go to the |
| 00:30:25 |
Oh, Roscoe, how sweet, |
| 00:30:32 |
Come on, Lucinda, |
| 00:30:35 |
- My treat. |
| 00:30:37 |
Bye, Roscoe. |
| 00:30:41 |
Bye. |
| 00:30:42 |
I felt bad for the boy. |
| 00:30:46 |
Now, nobody knew about the bet, so |
| 00:30:52 |
Clyde and Lucinda danced all night |
| 00:30:59 |
And Roscoe looked |
| 00:31:02 |
And his date |
| 00:31:07 |
Lord Jesus! |
| 00:31:12 |
But in typical Roscoe |
| 00:31:15 |
But that |
| 00:31:17 |
Lucinda is a young lady, |
| 00:31:23 |
I'm very disappointed |
| 00:31:25 |
But what about Clyde? |
| 00:31:26 |
Clyde will be dealt with. |
| 00:31:29 |
Now drop your britches |
| 00:31:41 |
Yipe! |
| 00:31:42 |
But that Clyde... |
| 00:31:46 |
All right, what have you |
| 00:31:49 |
I let Roscoe win. |
| 00:31:52 |
It meant more |
| 00:31:55 |
and it meant more to me |
| 00:31:58 |
She's so beautiful. |
| 00:32:01 |
I know you're disappointed, |
| 00:32:04 |
and if my parents were alive, |
| 00:32:08 |
But you're the only |
| 00:32:10 |
So you do what you think |
| 00:32:18 |
Don't you ever let something |
| 00:32:23 |
What? |
| 00:32:24 |
You understand? |
| 00:32:29 |
Yes, sir. |
| 00:32:38 |
He went upstairs |
| 00:32:42 |
Now, how you know |
| 00:32:46 |
Because all his hollering |
| 00:32:51 |
So, are they |
| 00:32:53 |
They dated awhile, but you know, the |
| 00:32:59 |
He needs a real woman. |
| 00:33:01 |
Betty, y'all are cousins. |
| 00:33:02 |
Whatever! |
| 00:33:03 |
Now, the point is, Roscoe ain't been |
| 00:33:10 |
I think they call |
| 00:33:14 |
RJ's clearly over |
| 00:33:19 |
Really? |
| 00:33:20 |
Well, where do you think that |
| 00:33:26 |
All right, Betty, |
| 00:33:28 |
Okay, Mama, |
| 00:33:30 |
Come on in this house |
| 00:33:32 |
Now, somebody |
| 00:33:34 |
She getting eggshells in |
| 00:33:37 |
Always running your |
| 00:33:40 |
Don't nobody want |
| 00:33:43 |
And you put vinegar on these? Yeah. |
| 00:33:45 |
You gotta |
| 00:33:50 |
RJ! |
| 00:33:53 |
What the hell |
| 00:33:55 |
I'm not eating, baby, |
| 00:33:59 |
You want some? |
| 00:34:01 |
Forget it, carnivore! |
| 00:34:03 |
Why don't you tell me |
| 00:34:05 |
Oh. Oh, shit. |
| 00:34:06 |
Lucinda Allen? That was |
| 00:34:07 |
Well, see, I... Baby, |
| 00:34:11 |
Oh, my God! Oh, my God! |
| 00:34:45 |
Let me introduce you. |
| 00:34:47 |
What's up, family? |
| 00:34:51 |
Hi! Hey there, baby. |
| 00:34:54 |
You looking sharp. Look at |
| 00:34:56 |
Clyde! What's up, O? |
| 00:34:58 |
I see you ain't getting no |
| 00:35:00 |
Look at you, boy! |
| 00:35:02 |
Lucinda, |
| 00:35:03 |
Oh, my God, hi! |
| 00:35:05 |
Good seeing you, baby. |
| 00:35:06 |
Hey, look at you, boy. Look. |
| 00:35:09 |
Little Mexican! |
| 00:35:10 |
I got a little something |
| 00:35:12 |
I stopped to pick up some red |
| 00:35:16 |
From Cooter's Bakery |
| 00:35:19 |
Yeah. |
| 00:35:20 |
Well, you only get one |
| 00:35:23 |
Hey, hey, hey, |
| 00:35:28 |
Hey! Hey, now! |
| 00:35:29 |
There he is! What's up, |
| 00:35:33 |
Is the fountain of youth |
| 00:35:35 |
or you been |
| 00:35:36 |
You better watch it. |
| 00:35:38 |
See, 'Cinda? |
| 00:35:39 |
I'm so glad to see you. |
| 00:35:41 |
Oh. Oh. |
| 00:35:42 |
Now that's nostalgia for you, right |
| 00:35:48 |
Cross Colour Jones! |
| 00:35:51 |
Still wearing Otis' |
| 00:35:53 |
They're in the bag. |
| 00:35:55 |
Well, the airlines |
| 00:35:58 |
What's your excuse? |
| 00:36:00 |
Man... Hey, man, |
| 00:36:02 |
You know me. |
| 00:36:06 |
Roscoe Jenkins. |
| 00:36:09 |
Oh. |
| 00:36:10 |
Oh, it's been ages. |
| 00:36:13 |
Wow, it's been so long! |
| 00:36:18 |
Clyde, Lucinda, |
| 00:36:22 |
My fiancee... |
| 00:36:24 |
Bianca Kittles. How |
| 00:36:25 |
Sweeter than Skittles. |
| 00:36:29 |
Is that so? |
| 00:36:32 |
You find somebody that say different, |
| 00:36:34 |
And I don't even |
| 00:36:36 |
It's my pleasure, Bianca. |
| 00:36:38 |
Wow, congratulations, you two. |
| 00:36:46 |
What's up |
| 00:36:47 |
And, Lord, we thank you |
| 00:36:51 |
as well as, yes, |
| 00:36:54 |
I hear what you're saying, |
| 00:36:56 |
Thank You! And we thank You |
| 00:37:00 |
and, yes, for the scrumptious |
| 00:37:04 |
We thank You, Lord! |
| 00:37:07 |
Amen! |
| 00:37:10 |
We thank you for that |
| 00:37:12 |
- You mean long. |
| 00:37:14 |
Mama and I are just filled with joy |
| 00:37:18 |
that so many friends and family have |
| 00:37:22 |
This woman has put up |
| 00:37:25 |
and I love her now more |
| 00:37:29 |
All right, Papa J. |
| 00:37:34 |
Clyde, you try some |
| 00:37:37 |
And don't you forget these rolls, |
| 00:37:40 |
You butter the biscuits? |
| 00:37:42 |
Hey, Betty? Betty. |
| 00:37:43 |
What? |
| 00:37:44 |
He's your cousin, |
| 00:37:48 |
- You know what, Otis? |
| 00:37:50 |
Now, I'm just glad to see him, that's |
| 00:37:55 |
Thank you, Betty. |
| 00:37:58 |
So, Lucinda, I hear you two |
| 00:38:01 |
Oh, well, that was |
| 00:38:06 |
Yeah. But you never |
| 00:38:09 |
Ain't that right, |
| 00:38:10 |
Yeah, |
| 00:38:13 |
Look at her. Just |
| 00:38:16 |
You know, I'm gonna leave |
| 00:38:18 |
and get real serious about |
| 00:38:21 |
You know, matter of fact, |
| 00:38:23 |
I'm gonna jump! |
| 00:38:27 |
You know what I'm |
| 00:38:29 |
Don't believe |
| 00:38:30 |
He's more interested in jumping |
| 00:38:33 |
Ooh. |
| 00:38:35 |
Well, best of luck to the both |
| 00:38:38 |
Bullshit! |
| 00:38:40 |
Betty! |
| 00:38:41 |
Excuse me, y'all, I had a piece |
| 00:38:46 |
Well, you know, I admit |
| 00:38:50 |
But, after I get me a |
| 00:38:53 |
I will be King of the South, |
| 00:38:59 |
Well, my king |
| 00:39:02 |
RJ's having a professional camera |
| 00:39:09 |
Tell them, honey! |
| 00:39:14 |
Like my baby said, it was |
| 00:39:18 |
A gift, really. You know, no big deal. |
| 00:39:24 |
That's so sweet. |
| 00:39:26 |
Wait a minute. Hold up. Nigga, |
| 00:39:29 |
You done brought some |
| 00:39:30 |
You got that shit hidden around |
| 00:39:34 |
Roscoe be jumping out of |
| 00:39:36 |
Midgets? |
| 00:39:38 |
Neglected albino children. |
| 00:39:44 |
Rice, chicken kebab, |
| 00:39:49 |
Boy, you crazy. |
| 00:39:51 |
they be scattering |
| 00:39:53 |
You gonna win a Emmy, |
| 00:39:56 |
Remember, son, this is a family |
| 00:40:02 |
Yes, sir. |
| 00:40:03 |
Oh, hell, it'll be |
| 00:40:07 |
I'm sure old Roscoe |
| 00:40:09 |
I'm just glad to see your baby boy |
| 00:40:13 |
You done good, 'Scoe. |
| 00:40:15 |
You got a outstanding career, |
| 00:40:20 |
You finally winning, man. |
| 00:40:22 |
Don't even matter that you |
| 00:40:26 |
Oh, shit! |
| 00:40:28 |
What you trying |
| 00:40:31 |
I'm trying my best |
| 00:40:34 |
and you trying to drag me |
| 00:40:37 |
Oh, my goodness. That |
| 00:40:42 |
You a sad man, Clyde. Your |
| 00:40:49 |
Feel good for what you've |
| 00:40:53 |
The one loss you suffered at my |
| 00:40:57 |
Get over it. I have. |
| 00:41:01 |
That's the "Team of Me." |
| 00:41:08 |
That's right, baby. |
| 00:41:09 |
Oh. |
| 00:41:11 |
And just for the record, I'll |
| 00:41:17 |
Is that right? |
| 00:41:19 |
Care to make it interesting? |
| 00:41:22 |
For what? You'd just find a |
| 00:41:26 |
Oh, shit. |
| 00:41:27 |
I ain't never |
| 00:41:29 |
You a damn liar! |
| 00:41:30 |
Oh, this is getting hot! |
| 00:41:32 |
You know damn well what |
| 00:41:35 |
You're a sore loser, |
| 00:41:51 |
Lemonade is |
| 00:41:55 |
There it is. That bitch |
| 00:42:00 |
You hungry as shit, but that |
| 00:42:06 |
What is |
| 00:42:07 |
I can't believe you're still |
| 00:42:11 |
We only said three |
| 00:42:13 |
Forty words. |
| 00:42:15 |
And that Clyde, he's |
| 00:42:17 |
No wonder he's a car salesman. |
| 00:42:22 |
Why the hell did you tell |
| 00:42:25 |
They were gonna |
| 00:42:27 |
And besides, we were losing |
| 00:42:30 |
Bianca, this is |
| 00:42:33 |
Oh, yes, it is. |
| 00:42:36 |
Look, baby, baby, |
| 00:42:41 |
Let's not fight, okay? I'm sorry. |
| 00:42:44 |
Lucinda was just a |
| 00:42:50 |
So you're over her? |
| 00:42:51 |
How can I not be, |
| 00:43:00 |
Yeah, that's what I'm |
| 00:43:04 |
Oh, baby. All the time I spent here, |
| 00:43:10 |
No way. These walls |
| 00:43:14 |
And plus, |
| 00:43:16 |
That's ridiculous! |
| 00:43:19 |
Look, now, I want |
| 00:43:23 |
Nope. Forget it. |
| 00:43:26 |
Damn! |
| 00:43:33 |
Think you so damn special. |
| 00:43:36 |
I sent a plasma, you |
| 00:43:41 |
Hey, Roscoe, I didn't |
| 00:43:43 |
Hey, Lucinda, |
| 00:43:45 |
I'm great. |
| 00:43:46 |
Who you talking to? |
| 00:43:48 |
Nobody. |
| 00:43:49 |
Well, actually, myself. I do that. |
| 00:43:55 |
You know, keep it fresh, you know? |
| 00:43:57 |
Okay, I see. Can you take a break? |
| 00:44:07 |
Damn! |
| 00:44:10 |
This cake is scrumptious. |
| 00:44:11 |
I knew |
| 00:44:13 |
So, you said your |
| 00:44:15 |
Yeah. Well, yeah. |
| 00:44:18 |
We... We had her on |
| 00:44:22 |
And... We just sort |
| 00:44:26 |
So how does she |
| 00:44:28 |
Real good. |
| 00:44:29 |
You know, she got him eating right. |
| 00:44:33 |
Maternal stuff. |
| 00:44:34 |
He's a great kid. |
| 00:44:35 |
Oh, thank you. |
| 00:44:39 |
So, you and Clyde? |
| 00:44:42 |
No. He was a familiar face |
| 00:44:46 |
He's sweet, but your |
| 00:44:49 |
What happened to your |
| 00:44:52 |
Are you keeping tabs |
| 00:44:55 |
Well, no, no, I heard things. |
| 00:44:58 |
You know, I heard... I heard |
| 00:45:01 |
You stupid. |
| 00:45:04 |
What did you hear? Huh? |
| 00:45:06 |
That I went to school |
| 00:45:09 |
See? Yeah, I did. |
| 00:45:13 |
I had the vision of having |
| 00:45:17 |
three kids before 30, Sunday |
| 00:45:22 |
Sounds good to me. |
| 00:45:23 |
Don't it, though? |
| 00:45:26 |
But the student loans never go away, |
| 00:45:32 |
and he didn't want kids. |
| 00:45:35 |
Ever. |
| 00:45:38 |
So... Dream deferred. |
| 00:45:42 |
I feel you. |
| 00:45:44 |
Me and Jamaal's mom |
| 00:45:48 |
I wasn't ready to be a parent, |
| 00:45:54 |
Spoken like a true Jenkins man. |
| 00:46:05 |
You need to |
| 00:46:07 |
Shit. |
| 00:46:08 |
'Cause if I don't watch |
| 00:46:10 |
I could think of |
| 00:46:13 |
Me, too! Sign me up |
| 00:46:17 |
Hey, Reggie. We were |
| 00:46:20 |
Hell, no, don't let me |
| 00:46:22 |
Don't let him interrupt. |
| 00:46:24 |
Oh, no, no, |
| 00:46:26 |
I need to go home and see my parents, |
| 00:46:32 |
Good night. |
| 00:46:42 |
Tell the truth. You |
| 00:46:46 |
Fool, if I had a woody, |
| 00:46:49 |
We was just catching up. |
| 00:46:51 |
Your daddy don't want that plasma you |
| 00:46:55 |
And it's a damn shame that it's |
| 00:46:59 |
Just a TV, just sitting there, |
| 00:47:03 |
There's so many poor people |
| 00:47:05 |
Would you like that... |
| 00:47:07 |
I... Boy, I ain't lying. |
| 00:47:09 |
Well, would you |
| 00:47:11 |
Yeah! I'm gonna get it and freak |
| 00:47:14 |
Not gonna happen. |
| 00:47:16 |
Just tight. That's just... |
| 00:47:20 |
Hey, Lone Ranger, |
| 00:47:23 |
Uh-oh. |
| 00:47:25 |
Gotta go. |
| 00:47:26 |
Hi-yo, Silver! |
| 00:47:32 |
Giddy-up! Yes. |
| 00:47:34 |
Giddy-up! |
| 00:47:40 |
It's gonna be a long weekend. |
| 00:48:30 |
Excuse me. |
| 00:48:32 |
Excuse. |
| 00:48:36 |
Baby, my Downward Dog is fine. |
| 00:48:39 |
Your alignment's off. |
| 00:48:41 |
Watch me. |
| 00:48:48 |
Damn, you are flexible! |
| 00:48:51 |
Good morning, Reggie. |
| 00:48:53 |
Good morning to you! |
| 00:48:54 |
What's up, 'Scoe? |
| 00:48:55 |
Fuck you looking at, Reggie? |
| 00:48:57 |
You wanna glue your eyes |
| 00:49:00 |
Oh, my fault. I didn't mean to look, but |
| 00:49:03 |
Hey! That is nice. That's |
| 00:49:06 |
Can I help you with |
| 00:49:08 |
Oh, your bag is here. |
| 00:49:09 |
You couldn't just say |
| 00:49:11 |
I was distracted, 'cause it looked |
| 00:49:13 |
with a sack of nickels. |
| 00:49:15 |
Well, maybe a foot in your |
| 00:49:17 |
Maybe a slice of red velvet |
| 00:49:27 |
Man, get your look |
| 00:49:33 |
and down. |
| 00:49:34 |
That's it. One. One! |
| 00:49:36 |
One more, one more, one time. |
| 00:49:37 |
That's it. Move on! |
| 00:49:39 |
Oh, my God. |
| 00:49:42 |
Namaste. |
| 00:49:44 |
Oh! Hey. |
| 00:49:46 |
Reggie's got a Frank |
| 00:49:48 |
That's Hank, baby. And |
| 00:49:52 |
Reggie wouldn't even know |
| 00:49:54 |
Oh, it's your |
| 00:49:55 |
I'm just a squirrel trying to get |
| 00:50:00 |
Mmm. |
| 00:50:01 |
Man, you need to get her pregnant |
| 00:50:14 |
My God. |
| 00:50:18 |
Yeah. |
| 00:50:19 |
That's my jersey, |
| 00:50:24 |
Come on, Jamaal. |
| 00:50:25 |
I don't think I'm |
| 00:50:27 |
Don't be such a girl about it. |
| 00:50:30 |
Jamaal, forget all that. |
| 00:50:34 |
Plus, this was your |
| 00:50:37 |
The main thing is to relax and |
| 00:50:41 |
Come on, we got them, we got them! |
| 00:50:44 |
We got them! |
| 00:50:45 |
You out, sucka! |
| 00:50:48 |
Good throw, Betty! |
| 00:50:49 |
How could this fool |
| 00:50:51 |
'Cause I got a cannon in this arm, |
| 00:50:56 |
Damn, I'm a thief. I don't |
| 00:50:58 |
Can't steal third, |
| 00:51:00 |
My shirt! |
| 00:51:01 |
Yeah, my fault. This |
| 00:51:07 |
Where does that child think she is? |
| 00:51:09 |
I don't know. |
| 00:51:10 |
But I bet that come with |
| 00:51:14 |
Jamaal! Widen |
| 00:51:17 |
Keep your eye on the ball. |
| 00:51:19 |
Focus. |
| 00:51:21 |
Do what your father told you, okay? |
| 00:51:23 |
Now, don't be scared of |
| 00:51:26 |
We all big. That's |
| 00:51:29 |
Jamaal! Focus. |
| 00:51:30 |
All right, it's 0 and |
| 00:51:35 |
Strike three! |
| 00:51:36 |
That's all right, |
| 00:51:38 |
That's a good try. |
| 00:51:40 |
You're making |
| 00:51:42 |
Good try, Jamaal. |
| 00:51:43 |
No, no, |
| 00:51:44 |
Now, what is he, Roscoe? |
| 00:51:47 |
Is he one of them vegans |
| 00:51:49 |
You need to feed that child, |
| 00:51:52 |
You ain't giving |
| 00:51:55 |
Good one, Callie! |
| 00:51:57 |
Can't understand nothing. |
| 00:52:03 |
Come on, Roscoe! |
| 00:52:06 |
All I need you to |
| 00:52:08 |
I got this. |
| 00:52:09 |
You got a strikeout a-coming |
| 00:52:11 |
"Youse got a strikeout coming |
| 00:52:15 |
"Boy, youse gonna..." |
| 00:52:18 |
Y'all don't take the smile for |
| 00:52:20 |
I've never |
| 00:52:21 |
Y'all think I'm weak or something. |
| 00:52:23 |
No, I don't |
| 00:52:24 |
Okay. Don't. Okay. |
| 00:52:27 |
Hey. |
| 00:52:29 |
Take a seat. Let me |
| 00:52:31 |
All right. That's what I'm talking 'bout, |
| 00:52:36 |
What the hell you |
| 00:52:38 |
I'm about to strike |
| 00:52:40 |
I've got a narrow strike zone, boy. |
| 00:52:43 |
Oh, that's all right, Papa J. |
| 00:52:44 |
Anything wider than Roscoe |
| 00:52:49 |
Everybody sit down. |
| 00:52:51 |
Take a load off. Get |
| 00:52:54 |
Bring the La-Z-Boys out here |
| 00:52:57 |
I got this, right here. |
| 00:53:00 |
What's up, 'Scoe? |
| 00:53:03 |
You want to be in the big |
| 00:53:05 |
Right here, baby! |
| 00:53:08 |
Strike! |
| 00:53:11 |
That's better than air |
| 00:53:15 |
Feel that breeze? |
| 00:53:18 |
Come on, Roscoe! |
| 00:53:20 |
They just talking smack, |
| 00:53:24 |
Focus, RJ! |
| 00:53:29 |
"Focus, RJ!" |
| 00:53:31 |
All right, everybody good? Betty, |
| 00:53:36 |
Okay. |
| 00:53:42 |
Okay, I got you. Good to go. |
| 00:53:48 |
Right here. |
| 00:53:57 |
Crush it! Kill it! |
| 00:54:04 |
You hit my mama! |
| 00:54:05 |
- Oh, my God! |
| 00:54:07 |
Mama J! |
| 00:54:08 |
Oh, Jesus. |
| 00:54:10 |
That done knocked the wig |
| 00:54:17 |
Hey, get off me |
| 00:54:19 |
- Oh, really? Get off you about it? |
| 00:54:20 |
Yeah, okay? Stop |
| 00:54:23 |
But I was trying to tell you |
| 00:54:25 |
You up there swinging like |
| 00:54:27 |
now my mama got a |
| 00:54:29 |
She's my mama, too, O. |
| 00:54:31 |
We don't know that. |
| 00:54:33 |
Look, I gotta get the fish. Meet |
| 00:54:40 |
Mama, I'm sorry. |
| 00:54:44 |
I know, baby. |
| 00:54:47 |
Heck, Mama, I was trying to hit it out the |
| 00:54:50 |
I'm getting my headache, |
| 00:54:54 |
Daddy... |
| 00:54:55 |
Son, we all make mistakes. |
| 00:54:57 |
We just have |
| 00:55:00 |
Though I don't know what you learn |
| 00:00:02 |
I don't know how you |
| 00:00:05 |
Man, you was the best |
| 00:00:08 |
If it wasn't for your |
| 00:00:10 |
Man, you'd be in the NFL, living |
| 00:00:15 |
Yeah, that's good, man. But, you |
| 00:00:18 |
God's plan is cool, |
| 00:00:22 |
Oh, man, stop talking that bullshit. |
| 00:00:26 |
I got a great family, |
| 00:00:27 |
I live in a great community that |
| 00:00:31 |
You the failure. |
| 00:00:32 |
How do you |
| 00:00:34 |
I made it. |
| 00:00:35 |
Oh, why? 'Cause you got |
| 00:00:38 |
What else you got |
| 00:00:39 |
Everything I ain't |
| 00:00:41 |
What you ain't have |
| 00:00:45 |
Hey, why don't Jamaal know |
| 00:00:47 |
You used to love to play, |
| 00:00:50 |
Man, I ain't got time for all that. |
| 00:00:55 |
I think Jamaal would love whatever |
| 00:00:59 |
Oh, so you a parenting |
| 00:01:03 |
Man, all I'm saying is don't |
| 00:01:07 |
Well, don't let cornbread |
| 00:01:10 |
What you looking |
| 00:01:13 |
Yeah, I said it. |
| 00:01:17 |
I just didn't hear you. |
| 00:01:18 |
I said what you looking |
| 00:01:19 |
Ain't nobody |
| 00:01:21 |
What'd you say before that? |
| 00:01:22 |
Don't let what? |
| 00:01:24 |
Don't let chitlins, |
| 00:01:26 |
cheese sticks or none |
| 00:01:29 |
That's what I said. What, you got |
| 00:01:34 |
This ain't your little brother |
| 00:01:37 |
You know, I don't get ass |
| 00:01:39 |
Mmm-hmm? |
| 00:01:40 |
You a officer |
| 00:01:42 |
Come on... What you carry? |
| 00:01:45 |
A'ight. Tell you what. Maybe... |
| 00:01:48 |
If you a good old boy, |
| 00:01:52 |
Yeah, I got the pull. I can do it. |
| 00:01:55 |
Big-ass... |
| 00:02:01 |
Now you and Mama got matching |
| 00:02:28 |
You know, you should do a show |
| 00:02:32 |
that constantly get bitched. |
| 00:02:38 |
Yeah, but... Thank you. But my |
| 00:02:42 |
who mask conjugal visits |
| 00:02:46 |
Yeah, it's gonna be called |
| 00:02:51 |
You available? |
| 00:02:54 |
You got time? |
| 00:03:00 |
What you feeling? |
| 00:03:01 |
Oh. Oh, okay. You better get your |
| 00:03:06 |
I may not hit a woman, |
| 00:03:08 |
Oh, is that what |
| 00:03:09 |
That's what you gonna do? |
| 00:03:11 |
You gonna beat a bitch's ass? |
| 00:03:12 |
What bitch you gonna beat, 'Scoe? |
| 00:03:14 |
What bitch you gonna beat, huh, |
| 00:03:16 |
Is that what it's like? |
| 00:03:17 |
What bitch you |
| 00:03:20 |
You snapped my neck, little... Look |
| 00:03:22 |
Watch. I'm gonna give you a |
| 00:03:25 |
Come on, come on! Bring it back! Bring |
| 00:03:29 |
Oh! |
| 00:03:31 |
Roscoe, get your damn... |
| 00:03:35 |
That ain't weave, fool! |
| 00:03:40 |
Wait a minute! You done pulled out |
| 00:03:46 |
I'm sick of you! I'm sick! Say you |
| 00:03:50 |
Say it! Talk your shit |
| 00:03:54 |
You wanna get up? |
| 00:03:55 |
Come on, come on. I done |
| 00:03:59 |
I am not a ho! |
| 00:04:02 |
I am doing God's work! |
| 00:04:08 |
Now I'm gonna tell you something. You'd |
| 00:04:13 |
'cause the next time |
| 00:04:16 |
You done made me lose |
| 00:04:19 |
Father God, forgive him, |
| 00:04:23 |
I'm gonna pray for you, Roscoe. |
| 00:04:27 |
Thank you, I... |
| 00:04:51 |
Hey, Lucinda. |
| 00:04:52 |
Oh, my God! |
| 00:04:55 |
What do you mean? |
| 00:04:57 |
Well, your face looks like |
| 00:05:00 |
Really? I feel fine. |
| 00:05:03 |
Well, it looks |
| 00:05:11 |
Oh, my God. |
| 00:05:13 |
Here. |
| 00:05:17 |
That feels good. |
| 00:05:20 |
Good, good. |
| 00:05:23 |
Hey, it might be a good idea |
| 00:05:28 |
This is nothing. |
| 00:05:30 |
Why you trying |
| 00:05:32 |
I'm not fronting. |
| 00:05:35 |
See? See? You know you're hurting. |
| 00:05:41 |
The Roscoe Jenkins I knew |
| 00:05:45 |
Well, this is RJ Stevens |
| 00:05:48 |
Yeah, the new and |
| 00:05:54 |
I think Roscoe 1.0 |
| 00:06:05 |
Oh! |
| 00:06:07 |
I didn't know you were back. |
| 00:06:08 |
We weren't doing nothing! |
| 00:06:12 |
Nothing much, that is. |
| 00:06:17 |
Well, good. Why don't you |
| 00:06:22 |
Papa J, I thought |
| 00:06:23 |
No, that's all right. |
| 00:06:26 |
Yeah, I got this. |
| 00:06:47 |
Son, you are ready to |
| 00:06:53 |
Of course! Yeah. |
| 00:06:58 |
Well, if I didn't know any better, |
| 00:07:00 |
I'd think there's something |
| 00:07:04 |
Oh, no! I'm just, you know... |
| 00:07:08 |
We're just catching up. |
| 00:07:10 |
Daddy, the wedding |
| 00:07:14 |
Got the caterer, |
| 00:07:18 |
Beyonce is gonna choreograph |
| 00:07:21 |
Roscoe, I think you |
| 00:07:26 |
The marriage isn't |
| 00:07:29 |
Your mama and I got married |
| 00:07:32 |
I know, but... Well, Bianca wants |
| 00:07:38 |
Is that what you want? |
| 00:07:42 |
Yeah, I... I think. |
| 00:07:46 |
I do. I do. |
| 00:07:50 |
How does Jamaal |
| 00:07:53 |
Jamaal, he... Jamaal's cool, Daddy. |
| 00:07:57 |
Be mindful of that boy. |
| 00:08:02 |
From what he tells me, he |
| 00:08:05 |
I'm trying, Daddy. All right? |
| 00:08:10 |
The show. Team of Me. |
| 00:08:18 |
Well, it's... It's just a saying, you |
| 00:08:24 |
Well, that's fine, son, but... |
| 00:08:25 |
There are times you gotta depend |
| 00:08:29 |
I mean, you never learned |
| 00:08:32 |
And that's certainly not |
| 00:08:40 |
Some kids learn it |
| 00:09:09 |
Honey! I've been busy with a |
| 00:09:13 |
and I'm exhausted, so... Be |
| 00:09:17 |
Come on, baby. Let Feef |
| 00:09:22 |
I was hoping |
| 00:09:24 |
Aw. |
| 00:09:26 |
My little man is tired. |
| 00:09:29 |
Well, I promise I'll do any little thing |
| 00:09:38 |
Plus, I want to show you |
| 00:09:45 |
What project? |
| 00:09:49 |
Damn! |
| 00:09:54 |
Are those my initials? |
| 00:09:55 |
Mmm-hmm. |
| 00:09:58 |
I told you it was yours. |
| 00:10:01 |
You're a hell |
| 00:10:06 |
Come on, Feef! |
| 00:10:12 |
Come on, Feef, go pee. |
| 00:10:18 |
Oh, shit! Snake! |
| 00:10:22 |
Run, Fifi! Run! |
| 00:10:26 |
Come on! Hey! Lucinda... |
| 00:10:28 |
Don't go down there. Fifi's cornered |
| 00:10:31 |
And you left her? |
| 00:10:32 |
No! Lucinda! |
| 00:10:39 |
You see? I'm sorry, Fifi! |
| 00:10:42 |
I ain't sucking out no... |
| 00:10:45 |
You okay, girl? Yeah? You |
| 00:10:51 |
Fifi... |
| 00:10:52 |
It's okay. |
| 00:10:53 |
She all right? |
| 00:10:56 |
Here you go. See? It was |
| 00:11:00 |
Now, that wasn't the snake I saw. |
| 00:11:04 |
Well, we don't |
| 00:11:07 |
For real? |
| 00:11:09 |
There you go. |
| 00:11:13 |
You want to take a walk? |
| 00:11:16 |
Sure. |
| 00:11:18 |
You out here running off |
| 00:11:20 |
I deserve some cake. |
| 00:11:22 |
Yeah, no... |
| 00:11:25 |
Oh, come on, you heard the stories. |
| 00:11:29 |
Everybody did everything better than |
| 00:11:34 |
I get in front of that |
| 00:11:38 |
More than anyone |
| 00:11:40 |
Please, Roscoe. What family |
| 00:11:43 |
I mean, I got teased to no |
| 00:11:46 |
Yeah, well, you do |
| 00:11:47 |
Oh, shut up! |
| 00:11:49 |
You could pick your |
| 00:11:50 |
Shut up. |
| 00:11:52 |
See? You can dish it out, boy. |
| 00:11:57 |
Clyde. |
| 00:12:00 |
Clyde's big-headed ass needs to be |
| 00:12:03 |
Why are you two always |
| 00:12:05 |
Because Clyde is dirty, and will |
| 00:12:10 |
Aren't you exaggerating |
| 00:12:12 |
No. |
| 00:12:14 |
And what was all that "you |
| 00:12:17 |
At the picnic. |
| 00:12:25 |
A great opportunity. |
| 00:12:32 |
Well, if it was that great, why |
| 00:12:39 |
Maybe I will. |
| 00:12:43 |
Maybe you should. |
| 00:12:46 |
Well, well, well. |
| 00:12:53 |
Caught you, didn't I? |
| 00:12:58 |
This raises |
| 00:13:00 |
Well, sing like a canary, |
| 00:13:04 |
All that with the birds. Harmonize with |
| 00:13:10 |
I was walking the dog. |
| 00:13:12 |
How's that? |
| 00:13:15 |
I'm talking about Fiona. |
| 00:13:20 |
Oh, I think she's |
| 00:13:22 |
Where's Bucky? |
| 00:13:23 |
Down by the gully. |
| 00:13:27 |
He's gonna tear it up. |
| 00:13:32 |
Bucky, get your ass off! |
| 00:13:36 |
Oh, my God. |
| 00:13:40 |
She is so working him. |
| 00:13:46 |
Don't be surprised if he |
| 00:13:57 |
Bucky done |
| 00:14:14 |
Reg, not a word. |
| 00:14:16 |
I got you. |
| 00:14:18 |
Is that plasma TV |
| 00:14:22 |
Mmm. |
| 00:14:23 |
I'm a steel trap, player. |
| 00:14:32 |
You gonna be all right? |
| 00:14:33 |
Maybe she won't notice. |
| 00:14:40 |
Oh, baby, me and Fifi |
| 00:14:44 |
we completely |
| 00:14:46 |
Yeah, Daddy loves himself some |
| 00:14:51 |
Daddy loves his little Fifi! Yeah! Oh, |
| 00:14:56 |
Yeah, she may need a bath. |
| 00:15:02 |
Now see here, buster. |
| 00:15:04 |
Your alliance is with me, |
| 00:15:07 |
Oh, come on, baby. There's |
| 00:15:13 |
Now how about you show me |
| 00:15:16 |
I shaved off |
| 00:15:18 |
Why'd you do that? |
| 00:15:20 |
If I discover there's a mutiny afoot, |
| 00:15:24 |
Understand? |
| 00:15:29 |
Damn! |
| 00:15:32 |
Damn! |
| 00:15:34 |
One timer! Kaberle. |
| 00:15:36 |
Goal! |
| 00:15:39 |
Dang, you got game, |
| 00:15:43 |
Hey, Dad! |
| 00:15:45 |
Roscoe Malley! |
| 00:15:48 |
So I heard you been running around |
| 00:15:53 |
Let's play the game. Me and |
| 00:15:56 |
Yeah. |
| 00:15:57 |
I don't play |
| 00:15:59 |
Oh, is that right? Then |
| 00:16:04 |
Ya hear that, though. |
| 00:16:07 |
Yeah, I've been dying to play |
| 00:16:12 |
Sure you want to |
| 00:16:14 |
'Cause I don't play for fun. |
| 00:16:16 |
Ain't no fun losing money. |
| 00:16:19 |
Then you're about |
| 00:16:23 |
Seven! Oh, that's gonna |
| 00:16:26 |
Can you handle it? |
| 00:16:28 |
Daddy needs |
| 00:16:31 |
Watch this right there. |
| 00:16:32 |
Talking about shake 'em up, |
| 00:16:34 |
Oh! |
| 00:16:35 |
Yeah, Dad! |
| 00:16:36 |
Daddy, yes! |
| 00:16:38 |
You know what, man? |
| 00:16:40 |
Yeah? |
| 00:16:42 |
I mean, you still keep trying. You |
| 00:16:49 |
Ooh. |
| 00:16:50 |
Well, then this must feel like |
| 00:16:52 |
'cause you're losing |
| 00:16:59 |
Right there. |
| 00:17:03 |
Binata? |
| 00:17:04 |
You're not listening. Now, I told you |
| 00:17:08 |
It just ain't sanitary! |
| 00:17:11 |
Bringing damn dogs up in folks' |
| 00:17:18 |
That ain't nothing, you ain't even |
| 00:17:21 |
Everybody see what you're |
| 00:17:25 |
Yeah? Well, you might want to tell her |
| 00:17:30 |
Seven again! |
| 00:17:32 |
All right, grease is |
| 00:17:34 |
Here you go, baby. |
| 00:17:35 |
Thank you. |
| 00:17:37 |
Mmm. |
| 00:17:39 |
It's a little sweet, |
| 00:17:41 |
Yes! And that wine of yours, |
| 00:17:45 |
The '67 Margaux? |
| 00:17:47 |
That's a $600 bottle! |
| 00:17:48 |
And worth every penny! |
| 00:17:51 |
Oh! |
| 00:17:53 |
Seven again! |
| 00:17:55 |
Oh! |
| 00:17:57 |
Somebody stop it! |
| 00:18:01 |
Come on, roll the dice, man. |
| 00:18:03 |
Oh, I get it. That's |
| 00:18:04 |
Pass on that ass. |
| 00:18:06 |
- Oh! |
| 00:18:07 |
Could it be? |
| 00:18:09 |
No, no, no, no. |
| 00:18:10 |
I call gator |
| 00:18:12 |
Nigga, this ain't Monopoly. |
| 00:18:13 |
Hey, hey, man! |
| 00:18:17 |
Clyde, you better un-ass me before |
| 00:18:21 |
You better roll again before you |
| 00:18:26 |
You brought it on yourself! You |
| 00:18:30 |
Let's go get some fish. |
| 00:18:32 |
Is this what you wanted, |
| 00:18:35 |
That's right! That's right! That's |
| 00:18:42 |
Feel that? |
| 00:18:43 |
Oh, that's your |
| 00:18:49 |
Wait, wait, stop! |
| 00:18:50 |
Y'all better stop all that |
| 00:18:53 |
Got you! Yeah! |
| 00:18:54 |
You broke Daddy's table! |
| 00:19:00 |
That's 'cause you fixed it! |
| 00:19:10 |
I said, why are you drinking |
| 00:19:12 |
Well, they said I could |
| 00:19:14 |
Really? |
| 00:19:15 |
They didn't say how many times |
| 00:19:18 |
I want to be pregnant! |
| 00:19:19 |
How about another one? |
| 00:19:20 |
Let's do it, Balolo. |
| 00:19:22 |
Clyde-o-mania, baby! |
| 00:19:26 |
You ended up with a big dog now, boy. |
| 00:19:34 |
Lord, these fools |
| 00:19:37 |
Hey, knock it off! |
| 00:19:39 |
Ladies, get the tartar sauce |
| 00:19:42 |
'cause the Jenkins family is |
| 00:19:51 |
Man, |
| 00:19:52 |
Stop that... |
| 00:19:57 |
RJ, no! |
| 00:19:59 |
It's hot! It's hot! |
| 00:20:04 |
Oh, hell no! |
| 00:20:06 |
Oh, my God. |
| 00:20:08 |
Are you okay? |
| 00:20:11 |
Oh, my God. |
| 00:20:16 |
He started it. |
| 00:20:18 |
What they heading for now |
| 00:20:21 |
Damn! Poor Mama. |
| 00:20:25 |
You should have had more |
| 00:20:31 |
I'm sorry. |
| 00:20:35 |
Baby, I'm sorry. |
| 00:20:38 |
It was an accident. |
| 00:20:40 |
Silence, |
| 00:20:41 |
That's all |
| 00:20:46 |
Boy, the shower is all yours. |
| 00:20:51 |
You used all my shit! |
| 00:20:53 |
Yeah, what? |
| 00:20:54 |
And you're wearing my robe? |
| 00:20:55 |
What... |
| 00:20:56 |
Bianca, how's Fiona doing? She |
| 00:21:01 |
What snake? |
| 00:21:03 |
The snake Lucinda |
| 00:21:07 |
I mean, she seems pretty |
| 00:21:10 |
Satellite! |
| 00:21:12 |
Satellite, pay-per-view, premium |
| 00:21:16 |
platinum titty channels... |
| 00:21:18 |
Playboy channels? |
| 00:21:19 |
Yeah, butt-naked channels. |
| 00:21:22 |
Oh, I got to have it. |
| 00:21:23 |
You like when they |
| 00:21:27 |
You know it. |
| 00:21:29 |
Yeah, you... |
| 00:21:31 |
Telemundo? |
| 00:21:33 |
I like... I like Spanish. |
| 00:21:34 |
All that! |
| 00:21:36 |
All the... |
| 00:21:40 |
My man. Peace. |
| 00:21:47 |
I don't know who you are |
| 00:21:52 |
Baby, it's me. |
| 00:21:54 |
It's RJ. |
| 00:21:56 |
Are you really willing to put your career, |
| 00:22:01 |
Career? Baby, |
| 00:22:05 |
Get your priorities in order and |
| 00:22:11 |
Let that simmer while you |
| 00:22:13 |
We're going to |
| 00:22:41 |
Reggie! |
| 00:22:43 |
Get your nasty ass outta here! |
| 00:22:45 |
I didn't know that was you. |
| 00:22:47 |
You is a nasty common freak! |
| 00:22:50 |
There is a naked linebacker |
| 00:22:52 |
Now, you done brought that |
| 00:22:54 |
now you trying to sneak around |
| 00:22:56 |
Girl, ain't no... I didn't try |
| 00:22:59 |
Well, then hand me |
| 00:23:00 |
I can see why you |
| 00:23:03 |
You got to lay off them Milky Ways |
| 00:23:06 |
And your mother shouldn't have |
| 00:23:08 |
when she was pregnant with you! That's |
| 00:23:11 |
God, your titties |
| 00:23:13 |
Look, I'm gonna |
| 00:23:14 |
I'm gonna tell my daddy that you are |
| 00:23:18 |
Wait, you're gonna be lying |
| 00:23:20 |
Then what was you |
| 00:23:22 |
I thought that... |
| 00:23:23 |
Can I just give you this |
| 00:23:25 |
What? You wanted Chick-fil-A, |
| 00:23:27 |
I'm Burger King. |
| 00:23:29 |
You want to see this dark meat? I don't |
| 00:23:34 |
I do want to see the black meat, but |
| 00:23:39 |
Get out of here, |
| 00:23:45 |
She gonna put me |
| 00:23:47 |
She's a survivor... I'm a |
| 00:23:54 |
Good night, vegan! |
| 00:23:57 |
Finally, peace at last. |
| 00:24:08 |
Bucky! |
| 00:24:17 |
You stinky dog! Bucky! |
| 00:24:20 |
Oh, hell no! |
| 00:24:27 |
He done pissed in my eyes! |
| 00:24:30 |
It stinks! My eyes! It burns! |
| 00:24:32 |
Oh, Lord! Oh! Oh... |
| 00:24:40 |
It stink. It stink. My eyes |
| 00:24:46 |
They're burning! |
| 00:24:48 |
Where did I go wrong with that boy? |
| 00:24:52 |
Mama! Mama! Mama! |
| 00:24:56 |
Lord have mercy. |
| 00:24:58 |
Mama! |
| 00:25:05 |
I don't know |
| 00:25:07 |
Hell, no, that ain't me. |
| 00:25:09 |
What the... |
| 00:25:17 |
Come on, baby brother, ease up, |
| 00:25:20 |
My skin is all itchy. |
| 00:25:24 |
Smells like garbage |
| 00:25:27 |
Today |
| 00:25:29 |
you all continue the Dry Springs |
| 00:25:35 |
So get out there and display that |
| 00:25:41 |
And, no matter what, have fun! |
| 00:25:52 |
Good luck, young man. |
| 00:25:53 |
Win something. |
| 00:25:55 |
Have fun. |
| 00:25:58 |
Jamaal, nobody remembers |
| 00:26:02 |
So you gotta get |
| 00:26:06 |
Loosen up your muscles. Come |
| 00:26:09 |
Win! Win! We're |
| 00:26:11 |
Ease up now, Kiribati. |
| 00:26:14 |
Jamaal, go. This ain't none |
| 00:26:16 |
Look, come on, man. |
| 00:26:19 |
Well, it ain't no fun getting beat. |
| 00:26:21 |
Hey, that was one time! Even a |
| 00:26:25 |
Who are you |
| 00:26:27 |
"Who are you |
| 00:26:28 |
Roscoe, that's who! |
| 00:26:33 |
And you the nut. Koo-koo! |
| 00:26:36 |
Hey, leave my lady out of this. I know |
| 00:26:39 |
Oh, fluke, luck, one |
| 00:26:42 |
Well, bring it on, Clyde. We can |
| 00:26:47 |
He's always been a loser. |
| 00:26:51 |
Hey, Daddy! Daddy, you hear these |
| 00:27:00 |
You two been at this |
| 00:27:03 |
Go ahead. Knock yourselves |
| 00:27:06 |
Oh, yeah? |
| 00:27:08 |
Starting line, 10 minutes, |
| 00:27:11 |
Ten minutes, Clyde! |
| 00:27:12 |
Get him! |
| 00:27:14 |
Ten minutes to countdown, |
| 00:27:16 |
Gunfight at the O.K. Corral! |
| 00:27:18 |
Oh, shoot, |
| 00:27:39 |
Dad, are you |
| 00:27:41 |
Focus, son. |
| 00:27:44 |
Cut me in or cut it out! |
| 00:27:49 |
Good luck, 'Scoe. That's |
| 00:27:51 |
Y'all better strap yourselves in, |
| 00:27:55 |
Hey, Reggie, let me |
| 00:27:57 |
I got a pulled hamstring for |
| 00:28:01 |
RJ's in top shape. |
| 00:28:05 |
Clyde is not my man. |
| 00:28:07 |
Just friends. |
| 00:28:09 |
Yeah. Like you and RJ? |
| 00:28:11 |
What are you talking about? |
| 00:28:13 |
I've been watching you. |
| 00:28:15 |
Trying to win favor with Jamaal. |
| 00:28:19 |
It's pathetic. |
| 00:28:21 |
'Cause there are no second |
| 00:28:25 |
Sorry. Sorry. |
| 00:28:27 |
Now, that was painful. |
| 00:28:29 |
You bad. |
| 00:28:30 |
A bad bitch, Betty? |
| 00:28:32 |
She is a fake celebrity, |
| 00:28:35 |
Her only claim to fame is trading |
| 00:28:38 |
That's some nasty shit there. |
| 00:28:40 |
News flash, honey. Those |
| 00:28:45 |
Wait a minute. Twenty |
| 00:28:47 |
Yes. |
| 00:28:48 |
Well, wait, I got |
| 00:28:49 |
I got the good panties, |
| 00:28:52 |
I got the period panties. |
| 00:28:54 |
Betty, I got |
| 00:28:58 |
Bucky boned Fifi. |
| 00:28:59 |
Oh, Lord! |
| 00:29:00 |
Well? |
| 00:29:02 |
Did he kill her? |
| 00:29:03 |
She was on top. |
| 00:29:04 |
The Pomegramian? |
| 00:29:06 |
- Now that is a bad bitch. |
| 00:29:08 |
Fifi! |
| 00:29:09 |
Your dog's a whore! |
| 00:29:10 |
All right. |
| 00:29:15 |
Get set! |
| 00:29:20 |
Run, baby! |
| 00:29:24 |
Get out the way! |
| 00:29:26 |
What is wrong |
| 00:29:38 |
Go! |
| 00:29:39 |
Oh, get back! |
| 00:29:41 |
Hey, get back, sucka. |
| 00:29:44 |
I got him! |
| 00:29:49 |
Oh, no! |
| 00:29:50 |
Share that. |
| 00:29:52 |
I'm gone! |
| 00:30:02 |
Redemption! |
| 00:30:04 |
Oh, no! No! |
| 00:30:06 |
Forget it! |
| 00:30:07 |
You gotta go, |
| 00:30:11 |
No! |
| 00:30:22 |
Cannonball! |
| 00:30:26 |
Oh, shit! |
| 00:30:33 |
Hit the floor, baby! |
| 00:30:37 |
Navy SEAL! |
| 00:30:39 |
Slip and slide, Clyde! |
| 00:30:45 |
Try the South Beach Diet, |
| 00:30:54 |
Come on, baby! |
| 00:30:56 |
No, you don't! |
| 00:30:59 |
Oh, hell no! No! |
| 00:31:09 |
Man, I felt that |
| 00:31:15 |
Come on, baby! |
| 00:31:16 |
No! No! Hold on! |
| 00:31:22 |
Son, no! Wait! |
| 00:31:25 |
Sorry, Dad! |
| 00:31:27 |
You! You wait! You... |
| 00:31:31 |
Hold on, baby! |
| 00:31:33 |
Go, Clyde, go! |
| 00:31:37 |
Oh! |
| 00:31:41 |
That's all right, baby! |
| 00:31:42 |
Look at them |
| 00:31:44 |
- Let's go, Jamaal! You can do it! |
| 00:31:45 |
Whoo! Yeah! |
| 00:31:50 |
It's your ass! |
| 00:31:54 |
Oh, I got you now. See you |
| 00:31:58 |
Get up, baby! Get up! |
| 00:32:03 |
Yeah! |
| 00:32:04 |
You see that? |
| 00:32:06 |
That's what being in |
| 00:32:07 |
Well, I'm a power runner. True |
| 00:32:12 |
Yeah, me, neither! |
| 00:32:18 |
I'm going down! |
| 00:32:21 |
Mama... |
| 00:32:23 |
I'm gonna die! |
| 00:32:31 |
Go, Clyde, go! |
| 00:32:36 |
Go, RJ! Get him! |
| 00:32:45 |
Help me, Dad! |
| 00:32:47 |
Dad! |
| 00:32:49 |
I can't! |
| 00:32:51 |
Come on, son! |
| 00:32:53 |
Come on, Clyde, |
| 00:32:58 |
Come on. Come on. |
| 00:33:03 |
I'm trying! |
| 00:33:07 |
Hurry up! Dig in! Go! |
| 00:33:09 |
Leave him, baby, leave him! Don't |
| 00:33:15 |
Win, RJ, win! |
| 00:33:16 |
What? |
| 00:33:17 |
Go, go, go! |
| 00:33:20 |
Don't give up, son! |
| 00:33:24 |
Go, baby, go! |
| 00:33:27 |
Come on, baby! Go! |
| 00:33:33 |
Watch out! |
| 00:33:36 |
Whoa, whoa, whoa, baby. |
| 00:33:37 |
No... |
| 00:33:39 |
This is just a mess. |
| 00:33:41 |
Oh, yeah, sucker! |
| 00:33:44 |
Oh, no! Hell, no! |
| 00:33:53 |
Oh, no, you don't! |
| 00:34:08 |
Yeah! Yes! Yeah! |
| 00:34:11 |
Welcome |
| 00:34:14 |
Oh! Yeah! |
| 00:34:17 |
Give it up, Clyde. |
| 00:34:19 |
This is gonna haunt your dreams |
| 00:34:23 |
Loser! |
| 00:34:26 |
Built for comfort, |
| 00:34:29 |
Hey, good save, Steroid |
| 00:34:33 |
But you know what? Too bad |
| 00:34:36 |
You know why? |
| 00:34:38 |
Yes! Captain |
| 00:34:41 |
Just me! Just me, baby! Just me! |
| 00:34:46 |
Yeah! |
| 00:34:51 |
Come here, son. |
| 00:34:53 |
No, thanks. |
| 00:34:56 |
Jamaal! Jamaal! |
| 00:35:00 |
Jamaal! Jamaal! |
| 00:35:02 |
What in God's name |
| 00:35:04 |
What? He challenged me, Daddy. |
| 00:35:08 |
What was I supposed |
| 00:35:10 |
Hey, don't use that tone with |
| 00:35:14 |
Where's my respect, |
| 00:35:17 |
You've never given me |
| 00:35:19 |
Credit for what? Winning a |
| 00:35:25 |
Or that bullshit |
| 00:35:27 |
Yes! Yes, Daddy! Yes! Give me some |
| 00:35:33 |
Then I feel |
| 00:35:36 |
So, Clyde gets off |
| 00:35:41 |
It wasn't just me |
| 00:35:46 |
I know he lost his father, but |
| 00:35:50 |
Why, Daddy? |
| 00:35:59 |
Well, now I see why you |
| 00:36:23 |
Hey. Hey, Roscoe. |
| 00:36:28 |
I never tried |
| 00:36:30 |
I was just trying |
| 00:36:32 |
'Cause even though we're |
| 00:36:47 |
Oh, now you're Mr. |
| 00:36:50 |
Don't fall for it, honey. He's |
| 00:36:52 |
Oh, look, heifer, your narrow |
| 00:36:55 |
if something... Hey, don't |
| 00:36:57 |
I will cut you. |
| 00:36:58 |
You got |
| 00:37:00 |
You know what? |
| 00:37:01 |
We're going. |
| 00:37:03 |
You need to be afraid of her. |
| 00:37:05 |
You ain't never seen |
| 00:37:08 |
She about to smack the |
| 00:37:11 |
You better |
| 00:37:12 |
'Scoe. 'Scoe. |
| 00:37:14 |
Let him go. |
| 00:37:17 |
Get off of me, |
| 00:37:18 |
Come on, baby. |
| 00:37:19 |
I can see your spine. |
| 00:37:23 |
It was so good |
| 00:37:27 |
Yeah. |
| 00:37:28 |
Don't you forget |
| 00:37:29 |
with your grandma |
| 00:37:32 |
I will. |
| 00:37:37 |
Well, here's something |
| 00:37:39 |
Meatloaf, |
| 00:37:41 |
Thanks, Mama. |
| 00:37:42 |
Oh, I just hate to see |
| 00:37:47 |
Lord have mercy, |
| 00:37:51 |
Just don't let it be |
| 00:37:56 |
Promise? |
| 00:38:05 |
We love you. |
| 00:38:09 |
I love you, too, Mama. |
| 00:38:28 |
Honey, don't be sad. I'm |
| 00:38:33 |
I promise |
| 00:38:36 |
I hope so, baby. |
| 00:38:38 |
We'll come up |
| 00:38:40 |
Yeah, we have more time |
| 00:38:43 |
We'll film the banquet in LA, |
| 00:38:49 |
Hire actors? |
| 00:38:51 |
Honey... |
| 00:38:53 |
We're getting married |
| 00:38:58 |
Where does your |
| 00:39:01 |
I guess they don't. |
| 00:39:02 |
Dad, are you serious? |
| 00:39:04 |
Jamaal! |
| 00:39:05 |
Haven't you realized by now |
| 00:39:09 |
It's all about |
| 00:39:12 |
This is Team Stevens, |
| 00:39:15 |
I'm a Jenkins. |
| 00:39:18 |
RJ, please talk |
| 00:39:26 |
She's right, Jamaal. We |
| 00:39:30 |
You think just because |
| 00:39:33 |
I'm gonna send you down here |
| 00:39:37 |
so you can be influenced by |
| 00:39:40 |
No buts, Jamaal. |
| 00:39:41 |
In fact, you know, let's not |
| 00:39:44 |
Oh, my God! |
| 00:39:49 |
I've been thinking that |
| 00:39:52 |
I don't blame you. |
| 00:39:55 |
You can say that again. |
| 00:40:01 |
No class. |
| 00:40:02 |
We can say that about a |
| 00:40:06 |
Right, baby? |
| 00:40:08 |
Right? |
| 00:40:13 |
Honey, you are so |
| 00:40:16 |
And making me |
| 00:40:20 |
Oh, yeah? |
| 00:40:21 |
Well, prepare to cool off, |
| 00:40:24 |
You crazy-ass bitch! You |
| 00:40:30 |
Thank you so much |
| 00:40:31 |
for letting me finally see you |
| 00:40:36 |
pretentious, fake-ass |
| 00:40:40 |
Thank you, Bianca. |
| 00:40:42 |
Oh, well, |
| 00:40:46 |
I knew it. |
| 00:40:49 |
You're not man enough. |
| 00:40:53 |
King Kong don't have |
| 00:40:57 |
You just signed your |
| 00:41:00 |
Our alliance |
| 00:41:02 |
And so are you. |
| 00:41:06 |
Come on, Fifi. |
| 00:41:10 |
It looks like |
| 00:41:12 |
and you've been |
| 00:41:14 |
Bianca, the tribe |
| 00:41:23 |
Dad, you're the man! |
| 00:41:25 |
I told you |
| 00:41:28 |
Let's go. |
| 00:41:31 |
Wait, my bags! |
| 00:41:43 |
I love you, son. |
| 00:41:46 |
Let's go home. |
| 00:41:51 |
Mama said, |
| 00:41:53 |
"Girl, it ain't right |
| 00:41:55 |
"to throw hot grits on a man |
| 00:41:59 |
Sound advice. Real good |
| 00:42:03 |
No. Old Betty |
| 00:42:06 |
And that was |
| 00:42:08 |
God knows I didn't |
| 00:42:09 |
But my third husband, |
| 00:42:11 |
Buck was good to me! |
| 00:42:13 |
And any time |
| 00:42:14 |
that's good to you |
| 00:42:16 |
Big black Buck had the |
| 00:42:21 |
Looked like he had a |
| 00:42:23 |
Daddy, I know you |
| 00:42:24 |
but Buck was a good man |
| 00:42:27 |
I'm gonna tell you something. He did |
| 00:42:30 |
And do you know, |
| 00:42:32 |
the only man |
| 00:42:35 |
Baby, y'all don't |
| 00:42:37 |
for a man to scoop |
| 00:42:39 |
Betty. Betty... I'm |
| 00:42:40 |
Scoop you like... |
| 00:42:42 |
Get off of me! I'm |
| 00:42:45 |
You a hater! |
| 00:42:46 |
We only got |
| 00:42:48 |
Shut up! |
| 00:42:51 |
Thank you, Betty! |
| 00:42:56 |
And now for our next testimonial. |
| 00:43:06 |
All right, how's everybody |
| 00:43:10 |
All the time. |
| 00:43:11 |
It is a pleasure and |
| 00:43:14 |
for Papa J and Mama |
| 00:43:18 |
Lord, growing up in this Jenkins |
| 00:43:21 |
And Papa J is a strong man. I |
| 00:43:24 |
when he say he'll |
| 00:43:26 |
I mean the black |
| 00:43:28 |
I woke up light-skinned at |
| 00:43:33 |
Yeah, I got it all back. |
| 00:43:35 |
You all right? |
| 00:43:38 |
But you know, working |
| 00:43:41 |
I just wish |
| 00:43:44 |
Roscoe |
| 00:43:47 |
You didn't give him |
| 00:43:50 |
What was I supposed to do? Be |
| 00:43:55 |
Be his father. |
| 00:43:59 |
Giving him your name |
| 00:44:03 |
It doesn't make him Betty |
| 00:44:07 |
He's Roscoe Junior. RJ. |
| 00:44:12 |
And for a boy who didn't feel |
| 00:44:16 |
he's doing quite well |
| 00:44:20 |
... sleeping in |
| 00:44:21 |
you know, |
| 00:44:24 |
I was nervous 'cause |
| 00:44:26 |
And that would, you |
| 00:44:28 |
I would have |
| 00:44:30 |
You know, it's hard sleeping |
| 00:44:33 |
And, you know, and... |
| 00:44:36 |
And I tried to explain |
| 00:44:38 |
that's Roscoe the one that's |
| 00:44:42 |
And, he... |
| 00:44:49 |
You know, just the way they |
| 00:44:53 |
They didn't have to |
| 00:44:56 |
I thank y'all and... |
| 00:44:58 |
Because I don't know where |
| 00:45:03 |
Nigga, what is you crying for? |
| 00:45:06 |
Big old Sugar Bear-looking-ass |
| 00:45:09 |
He's still wearing the |
| 00:45:14 |
Wow, I've never seen |
| 00:45:20 |
Ain't nobody crying. |
| 00:45:24 |
No, those some real |
| 00:45:29 |
I've cried more than a newborn |
| 00:45:35 |
Hey, guys. |
| 00:45:36 |
I've been beat up... |
| 00:45:38 |
... insulted, |
| 00:45:43 |
A lot. |
| 00:45:46 |
Hey, you're laughing already. |
| 00:45:50 |
I lost more games |
| 00:45:52 |
to Clyde |
| 00:45:55 |
Oh, 3,459 and counting. |
| 00:46:01 |
Thank you, Clyde. |
| 00:46:06 |
I thought I was a loser. |
| 00:46:08 |
So I went away |
| 00:46:10 |
and transformed myself into |
| 00:46:16 |
But being around y'all is a 24/7 |
| 00:46:22 |
reality check. |
| 00:46:24 |
Y'all rough on a brother. |
| 00:46:27 |
The clothes, |
| 00:46:35 |
Y'all pull no punches. |
| 00:46:37 |
You know that's right! |
| 00:46:39 |
Betty, you got |
| 00:46:43 |
That's no joke. And O, you |
| 00:46:48 |
That's right. |
| 00:46:49 |
But look, I... |
| 00:46:51 |
I want to thank you, |
| 00:46:58 |
Thank you for making |
| 00:47:03 |
For giving me strength to... |
| 00:47:05 |
To withstand anything |
| 00:47:10 |
For unconditional love, |
| 00:47:14 |
and a place to call home. |
| 00:47:18 |
I'm not gonna do it. |
| 00:47:23 |
Happy Anniversary, |
| 00:47:39 |
I'm so proud of you. |
| 00:47:42 |
I know. We all need love. |
| 00:47:47 |
Yeah, come on, Clyde. |
| 00:47:49 |
have this moment, all |
| 00:47:51 |
I know, baby. |
| 00:47:52 |
Son, |
| 00:47:54 |
if I ever drove you away, if |
| 00:47:59 |
I'm sorry. I love you. |
| 00:48:04 |
And those words you just |
| 00:48:07 |
I've ever received, |
| 00:48:11 |
Well, it's from the heart, |
| 00:48:17 |
Roscoe Steven Jenkins. |
| 00:48:24 |
Aw. |
| 00:48:28 |
Reggie, come here. What the |
| 00:48:30 |
What the hell has gotten |
| 00:48:45 |
Go get her, son. |
| 00:49:03 |
Lucinda? |
| 00:49:06 |
I waited 20 years |
| 00:49:11 |
Would you dance with me? |
| 00:49:15 |
I'd love to. |
| 00:49:22 |
Lucinda, I'm happy for you. |
| 00:49:26 |
Hey! Betty, come on, let's get |
| 00:49:29 |
Negro, we're cousins. |
| 00:49:31 |
So desperate. |
| 00:49:34 |
You gonna play me for him? |
| 00:50:00 |
Thank you. |
| 00:50:08 |
Did you see |
| 00:50:30 |
Look at Roscoe |
| 00:50:32 |
I heard that. |
| 00:50:34 |
Now, |
| 00:50:36 |
Oh, look at that. Yeah, |
| 00:50:39 |
There's Sugar Bear Clyde. |
| 00:50:41 |
Look at that. |
| 00:50:46 |
That looks good, Reggie. |
| 00:50:49 |
Pow! That boy crazy |
| 00:50:53 |
We do have |
| 00:50:55 |
We sure do, Daddy. |
| 00:50:56 |
Where are |
| 00:50:59 |
Oh, Ma, you know |
| 00:51:00 |
That's nice. |
| 00:51:15 |
Uh-uh. |
| 00:51:32 |
Ladies and gentlemen, |
| 00:51:37 |
All right. Thank you, thank you. |
| 00:51:40 |
You all looking good. Looking |
| 00:51:46 |
Today's show |
| 00:51:49 |
And what better way to kick it |
| 00:51:53 |
Say hello |
| 00:51:56 |
Hey, y'all! |
| 00:51:58 |
Ow! Pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, |
| 00:52:01 |
Betty. Betty. Yes! |
| 00:52:02 |
Mind your |
| 00:52:04 |
We'll be right back. We just |
| 00:52:05 |
here on 'Scoe's show. You |
| 00:52:08 |
Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. |
| 00:52:11 |
Let's get started. |
| 00:52:15 |
You're a doctor, |
| 00:52:18 |
Why am I having trouble |
| 00:52:22 |
So you've never |
| 00:52:23 |
Now, I know how to get |
| 00:52:26 |
I just need a captain |
| 00:52:28 |
Now, 'Scoe, you |
| 00:52:30 |
Is that thing physical |
| 00:52:33 |
Or is it emotional, 'Scoe? |
| 00:52:35 |
Like, where do |
| 00:52:37 |
Can we cut? |
| 00:52:39 |
Wait a minute, 'Scoe. I'm |
| 00:52:40 |
how I'm supposed |
| 00:52:42 |
So you think it's okay |
| 00:52:44 |
Yeah, I spank my kids. |
| 00:52:48 |
They... up, |
| 00:52:50 |
Tag team. |
| 00:52:51 |
Oh, cuss words. |
| 00:52:54 |
Oh, gee, I'm sorry. |
| 00:52:56 |
...that! |
| 00:52:58 |
Hustling is my job. I mean, I |
| 00:53:02 |
You know what I'm saying? I |
| 00:53:05 |
You know what I'm |
| 00:53:07 |
For some reason, I've |
| 00:53:11 |
I guess it's 'cause |
| 00:53:16 |
I mean, |
| 00:53:17 |
you might have a problem |
| 00:53:19 |
little I would always beat |
| 00:53:22 |
You pull out the cards, you one, |
| 00:53:25 |
Uno. You know what I'm saying? |
| 00:53:30 |
I sunk your battleship. You |
| 00:53:32 |
And then he be finished. |
| 00:53:35 |
"Is something wrong |
| 00:53:37 |
You know what I'm |
| 00:53:39 |
something wrong with |
| 00:53:40 |
You actually |
| 00:53:42 |
Hell, yeah, |
| 00:53:44 |
You shock 'em, |
| 00:53:46 |
I say, "You gonna take out |
| 00:53:49 |
For not taking |
| 00:53:53 |
45,000 volts right through |
| 00:53:59 |
Yeah. |
| 00:54:00 |
Hold it, hold up. |
| 00:54:05 |
Man, I'm on the show. You ain't |
| 00:54:08 |
I ain't gotta... No, I'm on |
| 00:54:13 |
We could do it right now, |
| 00:54:17 |
Or rock-paper-scissors. |
| 00:54:19 |
We could do it right here. I mean, |
| 00:54:21 |
You know, you want to scratch? |
| 00:54:24 |
'Cause we can scratch out. We |
| 00:54:28 |
I'll make me a bubble bath, |
| 00:54:32 |
and then I gets down in that |
| 00:54:36 |
I'm thinking about it right |
| 00:54:39 |
Cut! Cut! |
| 00:54:40 |
Take the $150, go buy you a |
| 00:54:44 |
you gonna make 300 off that. |
| 00:54:48 |
Take the quarter ounce, flip |
| 00:54:51 |
Like if you... If there |
| 00:54:53 |
I would race you up and |
| 00:54:56 |
We can go. You know we can go, too. |
| 00:54:58 |
Take the half ounce money, |
| 00:55:01 |
Now you ready for a ounce. |
| 00:55:04 |
Now everybody |
| 00:55:06 |
got on new sneakers |
| 00:55:08 |
Everybody |
| 00:55:10 |
you doing your thing |
| 00:55:16 |
I hope the feds ain't watching |
| 00:55:22 |
I am. I am afraid, okay? I'm... |
| 00:55:26 |
and I don't |
| 00:55:28 |
You pursue |
| 00:55:31 |
What? You want men you can't have. |
| 00:55:34 |
Men I can't have? |
| 00:55:36 |
Listen here... okay? I can |
| 00:55:39 |
Don't get me |
| 00:55:41 |
I am pretty in the face |
| 00:55:44 |
You better ask somebody. |
| 00:55:47 |
This right here |
| 00:55:48 |
Ain't that |
| 00:55:50 |
Yo, ma. |
| 00:55:52 |
Yeah. I'm saying, Doc, |
| 00:55:57 |
Well, that wasn't quite |
| 00:56:01 |
But that's the thing |
| 00:56:03 |
Unpredictable, |
| 00:56:06 |
And we love 'em. |
