Where The Buffalo Roam

en
00:00:17 (Neil Young, a cappella)
00:00:21 # Where the buffalo roam
00:00:25 # Where the deer and the antelope play
00:00:33 # Where seldom is heard
00:00:37 # A discouraging word
00:00:41 # And the skies are not cloudy all day
00:00:50 # Home, home on the range
00:00:57 # Where the deer and the antelope play
00:01:06 # Where seldom is heard
00:01:10 # A discouraging word
00:01:14 # And the skies are not cloudy all day
00:01:22 # No, the skies are not cloudy all day... #
00:01:31 (# Harmonica playing melody)
00:01:39 (Song ends)
00:01:41 (Typewriter keys clacking)
00:02:26 (Repetitive buzzing)
00:02:29 (Buzzing continues)
00:02:36 (Buzzing continues)
00:02:40 (Buzzing continues)
00:02:43 (Screams)
00:02:45 - (Buzzing continues)
00:02:47 - Go away!
00:02:53 - (Buzzing continues)
00:02:56 Come on. It's just a deadline.
00:03:00 (Buzzing continues)
00:03:02 Shut up! You'll get words
00:03:06 (Buzzing stops)
00:03:13 No need to panic, huh?
00:03:19 Just another deadline.
00:03:28 I'll just lash together a few raw facts,
00:03:32 little bit of old negro wisdom,
00:03:36 and this nightmare is over.
00:03:47 - Nixon.
00:03:49 (Snarling)
00:03:52 Come on, easy boy. You never liked this.
00:03:55 Bronco, come on. Bronco, come on.
00:03:58 - (Snarling)
00:04:01 Lie on your side.
00:04:03 Fun is fun.
00:04:07 Good boy, Bronco.
00:04:09 (Quiet growling)
00:04:11 (Buzzing)
00:04:13 Savage bastards.
00:04:19 (Buzzing stops)
00:04:22 There, chew on that gibberish for a while,
00:04:36 (Buzzing)
00:04:40 You've pushed me too far.
00:04:44 Down, Bronco, he's mine!
00:04:47 (Buzzing continues)
00:04:49 (Frantic buzzing)
00:04:52 (Descending beep)
00:04:56 (Gunshot)
00:05:08 (# Rock music blaring)
00:05:10 # A thrill a minute, an invention a day
00:05:15 # It's the American way
00:05:19 # A thrill a minute, an invention a day
00:05:24 # It's the American way... #
00:05:31 I was deciding to write off this weird town,
00:05:47 'This wouldn't be the first time I got sucked
00:05:52 'attorney at law, my attorney.
00:05:56 'This was the man I counted on
00:06:00 'Those weird years between
00:06:03 'the age of Nixon.
00:06:05 'It was a time to keep your head down.
00:06:08 'I was a working journalist, a hired geek
00:06:12 'and sometimes a good lawyer.
00:06:14 'It was a fast, strange time,
00:06:19 He claimed he was being chased
00:06:22 when his car was attacked
00:06:25 Bats?
00:06:26 It's obvious he was having
00:06:30 Every 20 minutes, he calls down to the desk,
00:06:35 He claims he's being held a prisoner.
00:06:40 Uh-oh.
00:06:42 Er, I'm rambling.
00:06:44 Er...
00:06:48 I think I'd better tell my readers that I'm
00:06:57 Er, I've been without sleep for 80 hours
00:07:02 The hallucinations have stopped,
00:07:05 but my adrenaline reserves are burning out
00:07:08 and I'm staring into the face
00:07:11 - What are you doing?
00:07:14 Writing?
00:07:15 Yeah. And my deadline page, too.
00:07:20 But I made a smart move
00:07:23 because, you know, in case I lose it totally,
00:07:26 I know I'll be safe in the arms
00:07:30 What are you writing?
00:07:32 My Attorney Versus American Justice.
00:07:35 Cute title, and, er...
00:07:38 hopefully I'll be able to finish it.
00:08:02 Morning.
00:08:03 Ahhh. Hmm. (Chuckles)
00:08:08 Er... let me recommend... Try a blue one.
00:08:11 A blue one? Really?
00:08:23 Wow!
00:08:24 Little bugger gets right on top of you.
00:08:27 Shit. Shit!
00:08:31 (PA) 'Dr Roberts, call Dr Bretherton
00:08:34 'Dr Roberts, call Dr Bretherton.'
00:08:41 (Humming merrily)
00:08:44 - (Man) No! No more, please!
00:08:47 (# Funk)
00:08:49 # There's been a change in your style
00:08:52 # You probably thought
00:08:55 # But now I know
00:08:59 Hmm.
00:09:01 # Your love is gone without a dime
00:09:05 # I'd like to know
00:09:08 # Why you're letting me go
00:09:10 # I got a love so right... #
00:09:13 Shh.
00:09:14 Just relax.
00:09:16 Everything's gonna be just fine.
00:09:19 I'll be gone in a second.
00:09:22 # Loving you is dangerous
00:09:27 (Lazlo) Nice day.
00:09:30 # Loving you is dangerous
00:09:38 Take it easy.
00:09:40 #... a change in your style
00:09:45 # Girl, I can see it
00:09:51 Five more minutes then we're out of here.
00:09:55 We could just make it away with you along,
00:09:58 Student nurse, you know.
00:10:00 Clear-headed.
00:10:07 (Screams) Bat!
00:10:12 Lazlo. What took you so long?
00:10:17 - Bat.
00:10:20 Jeez, she was just fine a minute ago.
00:10:22 Oh, I'm eating her cookie.
00:10:28 As your attorney,
00:10:31 Right.
00:10:33 Oh, shit. Good thinking, we may need this.
00:10:37 - Come on, get your things, let's go, Cook.
00:10:42 We can't leave her in this snake pit,
00:10:45 - Thompson, trust my judgment.
00:10:49 She's good with her hands too,
00:10:53 (Lazlo) Come on!
00:10:55 - (Knocking)
00:10:57 You'll probably be safer here.
00:10:59 - (Knocking)
00:11:02 - Yeah!
00:11:04 - (Knocking)
00:11:07 - Watch out for this fucker.
00:11:11 All right, er... Vaya con dios.
00:11:15 - Shit. Shit!
00:11:17 Shit. Shit!
00:11:35 (Lazlo) Ah, shit.
00:11:59 You gotta get this because it's important.
00:12:02 - Can you drive and...?
00:12:04 The key aspects
00:12:07 Great, a basis in reality, that's good.
00:12:10 ...including the need for probable cause...
00:12:14 ...and the right for people to be secure
00:12:19 That's the big one.
00:12:22 (Typewriter keys clacking)
00:12:24 (Lazlo) I mean...
00:12:28 - I'm a total professional.
00:12:31 Cos this is important stuff, a whole
00:12:35 Their rights are being violated
00:12:39 They take the kids, rough 'em up,
00:12:41 - Gestapo tactics.
00:12:45 All right, spread 'em, hit the wall.
00:12:47 Come on, shut up and get your head down.
00:12:49 - Come on, will you...?
00:12:52 The judges are cold,
00:12:55 they throw the kids in jail, give them
00:13:00 - You getting this?
00:13:02 - Good. Stay with me.
00:13:06 Hey! Goddamn... Hey!
00:13:08 Come back here!
00:13:14 (Police radio chatter)
00:13:17 How many people are gonna read this?
00:13:20 About 800,000, a million maybe.
00:13:24 Huh.
00:13:25 - When is this gonna come out?
00:13:28 it was supposed to be in the last issue
00:13:33 (Quiet chatter)
00:13:44 (Typewriter keys clacking)
00:14:00 - When did these come in?
00:14:03 I want to see everything.
00:14:19 Well?
00:14:20 Nobody's seen him
00:14:23 - Get on the phone.
00:14:27 I don't give a shit. You find him.
00:14:31 He owes me a cover story and I want it.
00:14:33 - OK, I'm going, I'm doing, I'm looking.
00:14:43 - (Lazlo sighs contentedly)
00:14:47 No.
00:14:51 Yes.
00:14:52 - No.
00:14:54 - Mr Lazlo!
00:14:58 - The master barrister.
00:15:00 Give me the Colts, the Steelers, the Jets...
00:15:02 - Jasper Russell meet Dr Thompson.
00:15:06 I'm taking the Bears, I can't quit on them.
00:15:08 (Lazlo) Excellent bone man.
00:15:13 Well, I can give you a cheque.
00:15:15 I know, but...
00:15:17 Well, you know where you can find me.
00:15:19 He's a weirdo, Lazlo.
00:15:22 Lazlo, how are you doing?
00:15:25 Never better.
00:15:26 You know, I really admire you.
00:15:28 - Really?
00:15:31 - No shit.
00:15:34 you're good, the clients like you.
00:15:37 But it's the wrong rules,
00:15:40 Let me send you some real clients -
00:15:44 That's business, Lazlo.
00:15:46 You can do the cases,
00:15:49 We'll make a deal, we'll make money.
00:15:51 - The guy said...
00:15:53 ...that it wasn't so bad to make money.
00:15:56 - Remember that.
00:15:59 make some money and maybe be like your
00:16:04 You're not making any money representing
00:16:09 - Jack-offs?
00:16:11 You call the people I defend jack-offs?
00:16:15 - Hear ye, hear ye, everybody!
00:16:18 Look at a man who defends evil people!
00:16:20 - (All shouting)
00:16:24 Lazlo, God damn it, get down.
00:16:26 (Lazlo) Repent! There's still time!
00:16:28 Bless you, Jesus. Thank you, Jesus.
00:16:32 Whosoever's name is not written in the book
00:16:37 - (Russell screams)
00:16:48 (Quiet chatter)
00:16:58 (Man) Mr Lazlo.
00:17:00 (All) Hey, Lazlo!
00:17:04 OK, OK, settle down, settle down.
00:17:07 OK, 223 Coal Street, where are you?
00:17:09 We're gonna go inside and make a motion
00:17:14 We're gonna say the cops
00:17:18 Got it? OK. Livingstone.
00:17:20 You got your old lady?
00:17:22 Good. Billy, we're gonna
00:17:25 OK, now.
00:17:28 I want you to remember one thing.
00:17:30 - Once we get inside, no grab-ass.
00:17:33 No fooling around, no yelling, no booing,
00:17:37 Just keep cool and let's do it.
00:17:39 - OK? Come on.
00:17:43 ...on behalf of the coming defence...
00:17:46 ...sheer domestic tranquillity...
00:17:53 Would you be
00:17:56 - Donate? My blood?
00:17:58 As a matter of fact, I'm here to pick up
00:18:05 Roll up your sleeve.
00:18:09 - I'm a doctor, I'm a doctor.
00:18:13 - Jesus, I missed. Sorry.
00:18:16 (Grunts) You're moving now,
00:18:19 - Here we go. That's a beautiful colour.
00:18:24 You got a lot of it too. All right!
00:18:26 All right.
00:18:28 OK, hold on, hold on.
00:18:30 All right.
00:18:32 I'm a little cowgirl.
00:18:36 Kiss and make better. (Squeaky kiss)
00:18:38 Yeah, all right.
00:18:40 You should do that all the time.
00:18:49 Lazlo, Lazlo, Lazlo.
00:18:51 The whole calendar is Lazlo. Will I ever get
00:18:56 Yeah, asshole,
00:18:59 Remember thou, keep holy the Lord's day.
00:19:03 Thou shalt not kill.
00:19:06 Thou shalt not steal. Thou shalt not be
00:19:11 So this is it. Nice place.
00:19:15 Jeez, you can almost smell the narcs.
00:19:17 There's a certain kind of a stink.
00:19:23 - Where's the chamber of horrors?
00:19:27 First come, first served.
00:19:31 Get smart, Lazlo.
00:19:33 Look, could you just hold this for a second?
00:19:37 - Just a second.
00:19:41 I'll see you in court.
00:20:07 Everyone rise.
00:20:21 Be seated.
00:20:23 Jesus, it's happening already.
00:20:31 Kind of close quarters in here, isn't it?
00:20:35 Let's go.
00:20:37 Let's get this thing moving.
00:20:42 Come on, we're backed up.
00:20:47 Let's see.
00:20:49 State versus Occupants 223 Coal Street.
00:20:54 Possession, sales marijuana.
00:20:58 623 Paige Street, marijuana.
00:21:01 People versus Kramer, marijuana.
00:21:04 These all yours, Lazlo?
00:21:09 Yes, your honour!
00:21:11 (Cheering, whooping, applause)
00:21:16 We'll set a hearing
00:21:19 (Judge) How about the 13th?
00:21:22 - What about the motions?
00:21:26 A motion to suppress
00:21:28 - There's a probable cause question...
00:21:32 Have you conferred
00:21:35 - Yes.
00:21:37 I and my clients are going to trial.
00:21:40 - (Assenting murmurs)
00:21:44 How long will these motions take?
00:21:48 An hour, maybe two, maybe more,
00:21:53 For instance, in the Coal Street matter...
00:21:55 Mr Lazlo, Mr Willins,
00:22:08 (Thompson) Here, I'll be right back.
00:22:12 Gentlemen, let's be reasonable.
00:22:15 For 16 crummy joints, are you kidding me?
00:22:20 I'm gonna take every case to trial,
00:22:24 I can back this place up for six years.
00:22:28 You're making a mistake, Lazlo.
00:22:31 Four, five,
00:22:34 six, seven,
00:22:36 eight, nine, ten...
00:22:39 Marty. Where the hell you been?
00:22:41 Been looking all over for you.
00:22:44 You are not registered at your hotel.
00:22:47 Your rental car is reported stolen.
00:22:50 Personally, I couldn't give a shit,
00:22:54 Is it due? Am I late?
00:22:56 You've got a deadline in 19 hours.
00:23:00 - (Cheering, whooping, applause)
00:23:04 Great too, incredible story,
00:23:08 I think it could be
00:23:11 All I gotta do now is write it up.
00:23:13 Write it up?
00:23:15 You've got 19 hours.
00:23:20 You move like a cat, Marty.
00:23:22 37, 38, 39...
00:23:26 Entered? How could you enter?
00:23:29 You broke down the door without a warrant.
00:23:32 - I heard a scream.
00:23:35 Are you sure it wasn't laughter? Kids having
00:23:40 No, it sounded like a scream.
00:23:42 - Hit him with the Fourth Amendment, Laz.
00:23:47 That's not really appropriate,
00:23:50 - You're a law student?
00:23:52 Don't come on so heavy.
00:23:54 - Why would I ever hire you?
00:23:56 OK, so you went inside.
00:24:00 I saw one of the defendants make
00:24:03 - Like what?
00:24:06 - Please.
00:24:09 - That's a furtive movement?
00:24:12 I'd like to demonstrate
00:24:16 That's a furtive move
00:24:20 - then what did you do?
00:24:23 And what, in fact, did you find?
00:24:26 - Pack of Marlboros.
00:24:33 So instead of just realising you had made
00:24:38 you decided to peek inside. Why?
00:24:41 Because I thought that defendant
00:24:45 a small plastic exploding device
00:24:48 So I opened up the cigarettes, that's why.
00:24:51 You were looking for a bomb
00:24:54 (Laughter)
00:24:56 Take your seat.
00:24:58 I'm sorry. (Laughs)
00:25:00 I'm in control.
00:25:04 Is this man an associate of yours?
00:25:07 No, just a...
00:25:09 just a good American like yourself.
00:25:11 May we proceed?
00:25:15 (Judge) And although, in all fairness,
00:25:17 I must say your legal rights
00:25:21 given my willingness and the willingness
00:25:25 I feel compelled to sentence you each
00:25:30 (Angry muttering)
00:25:33 Six months? Why?
00:25:36 Once more and you're out of the courtroom.
00:25:40 Clerk, best get moving. Next case.
00:25:49 Nice going, Lazlo.
00:25:53 The People versus William Kramer.
00:25:56 - You want some?
00:25:58 Looks like you got a good thing going there.
00:26:02 - (Lazlo) So you gave the cop the bag?
00:26:05 (Lazlo) Why? Why didn't you say no?
00:26:08 I don't know.
00:26:11 I guess I thought maybe
00:26:14 Because, in your mind,
00:26:18 It didn't.
00:26:19 Nevertheless, you were arrested for
00:26:24 This is your second arrest for possession.
00:26:27 - Yeah.
00:26:29 One joint.
00:26:32 One joint. And for this you did time in jail.
00:26:34 - Yeah.
00:26:36 - 18 months.
00:26:39 18 months for one joint.
00:26:42 (Lazlo) OK, look, er...
00:26:45 who was it?
00:26:47 What was the name of the guy
00:26:52 I don't think he's gonna tell him.
00:26:54 - He's not.
00:26:56 He is tough, and he's not gonna talk.
00:27:00 Do you know his name, Mr Kramer?
00:27:04 (Lazlo) You wanna tell him?
00:27:09 OK.
00:27:14 I'm sorry, Judge, the kid's not a squealer.
00:27:20 Take your seat, Mr Kramer.
00:27:24 (Bangs gavel) The court is still in session.
00:27:26 The defence rests.
00:27:33 Will the defendant please rise?
00:27:37 Any person who transports into this state,
00:27:43 - shall be punished...
00:27:45 - He's reading the fucking law.
00:27:49 I think you guys should listen.
00:27:53 - (Judge continues)
00:27:56 - He's your client.
00:27:59 Do you understand your sentence,
00:28:02 No.
00:28:06 - Five years to life.
00:28:09 (Angry shouting)
00:28:11 - Five years?
00:28:14 Did you say five years?
00:28:16 - That's ridiculous. I protest!
00:28:19 - Five fucking years?
00:28:23 It's a travesty of justice. I will not stand for it.
00:28:26 - (Drowned out by shouting)
00:28:29 - Smile for the camera.
00:28:36 - (Shouting increases)
00:28:39 Write about it!
00:28:41 Tell the world!
00:28:43 - Tell them the truth!
00:28:49 (Sighs)
00:28:57 - Here's the story.
00:28:59 - It's incredible, kid raped by the court...
00:29:03 ...and Lazlo's arrested, he's in jail.
00:29:06 - I told him that you'd pay for his bail.
00:29:10 - Doesn't matter, he doesn't want it.
00:29:13 He said, "Forget the money, but if Marty
00:29:18 "it'd make a big difference."
00:29:20 No, no, no, don't do this to me, please.
00:29:23 Hell, I'll pray with you.
00:29:29 I can't do this. I can't pray.
00:29:32 Sure you can. Dig deep.
00:29:36 - I can't pray.
00:29:39 Anybody can.
00:29:47 "Dear God". That'd probably be
00:29:53 Dear God, thank you for everything.
00:29:55 - Get Lazlo in there.
00:29:59 - and God bless Lazlo too.
00:30:03 And all the people of the world too.
00:30:05 - Please, let's have it.
00:30:16 You didn't sign this. You gotta sign this.
00:30:23 Glad I caught that.
00:30:35 Thanks.
00:30:38 Thank Lazlo.
00:30:46 (Thompson) 'Well, that finished him
00:30:51 'And some of it may have been my fault.
00:30:53 'Perhaps I was not the kind of friend in court
00:30:57 'But the humour had gone,
00:31:01 'By the time we realised,
00:31:05 'He quit the legal system.
00:31:07 'No more polite talking with judges,
00:31:09 'or journalists either, for that matter.
00:31:11 'He was in a revolution now,
00:31:15 'and, boy, it was hard to find people to eat
00:31:20 'Reality was too full of disappointments
00:31:23 'that grew up too confident to deal with
00:31:29 'A lot of people got off the boat
00:31:33 'Not Lazlo, not Nixon, not me.
00:31:37 'We'd signed on for the whole trip.'
00:31:42 Sir.
00:31:44 Hey, sir. Hey, sir!
00:31:46 - (Grunts)
00:31:48 Agh! God!
00:31:50 - Is anything wrong?
00:31:54 - Sir, what's wrong?
00:32:00 - Your head?
00:32:02 - What are you talking about?
00:32:06 - I think I'd like to find out.
00:32:09 - Give me answers!
00:32:12 What? What? What do you want to know?
00:32:15 - Where am I?
00:32:17 You're at your hotel, honest.
00:32:19 I haven't even caught my plane.
00:32:23 No, no, man, you in Los Angeles.
00:32:26 - You've landed right here in Los Angeles.
00:32:29 Check with the hotel,
00:32:33 The desk, the bellhop, anybody.
00:32:35 - They really will...
00:32:38 - OK.
00:32:40 - OK.
00:32:43 - Football. Super Bowl.
00:32:46 You can see the marquee. It's 1972.
00:32:54 The big game, yeah.
00:33:01 Well, sports fans,
00:33:08 Brownie?
00:33:10 Yeah, it's Blackie. What's the line?
00:33:14 Nine?
00:33:16 Faffle's got it eight and a half.
00:33:18 Fuck it, I'm going the other way.
00:33:20 Yeah. And put me down for a dime.
00:33:23 Nickel defence. On the line of scrimmage.
00:33:25 Goes right, fades left...
00:33:27 - (lncoherent commentary)
00:33:30 (Angry shouting)
00:33:33 Ah!
00:33:34 One man between him and the goal line.
00:33:36 Ah!
00:33:38 Dr Thompson, Blast magazine.
00:33:43 They're coming out of the woodwork
00:33:48 I'm gonna need an IBM Selectric,
00:33:51 a Xerox telecopier, the 516.
00:33:54 Teleco...
00:33:56 I'm also gonna need one of those
00:34:00 - Big mother.
00:34:03 - Heavy bond.
00:34:07 - Bic. Er, sir...
00:34:11 - Sir, please.
00:34:13 Ow! May as well get the room service order.
00:34:16 - How about three crab Louis?
00:34:18 - Quart of ice, lots of ice.
00:34:24 Quart of mescal. And 16 grapefruit.
00:34:28 - You getting all this?
00:34:30 - Sir, I'm going to need your identification.
00:34:35 Shit! Somebody's stolen my wallet.
00:34:37 (Growling)
00:34:42 - I know what I'm doing.
00:34:48 He must be a doctor.
00:34:49 (Equipment clattering)
00:35:02 Thank you very much. Really appreciate it.
00:35:09 He's all yours.
00:35:16 Ah! Eureka! Nice work.
00:35:18 Ah, back to business.
00:35:20 Two-bedroom suite,
00:35:23 Oh, can you check the electrical outlets?
00:35:28 - 440 volts.
00:35:32 - Any problems, check with the magazine.
00:35:36 Thank you.
00:35:38 Front, please?
00:35:41 Not too shabby, huh?
00:35:43 (Ringing)
00:35:46 Mr Lewis's office.
00:35:49 May I ask who's calling, please?
00:35:51 Ah, oh, I see. Could you hold on one sec?
00:35:55 It's the hotel manager.
00:36:03 Hello.
00:36:05 Yes, Mr Thompson is an employee of mine.
00:36:09 Why don't you just get to the point
00:36:14 No problem.
00:36:17 What was that last one?
00:36:19 A video recorder and a stereo?
00:36:22 No. That's out.
00:36:24 Tell him I said he doesn't need that.
00:36:27 Don't worry, I'll be checking with him
00:36:32 Thank you.
00:36:42 (Plastic rustling)
00:36:49 He became a man...
00:36:52 the day of the greatest game ever played.
00:36:57 Everything he knew about decency and
00:37:02 from Alan "the horse" Ameche.
00:37:04 Today in the Super Bowl
00:37:07 A crowd had assembled,
00:37:14 Toyota salesmen from around the country,
00:37:16 orientals and those suspected
00:37:19 stacked on the 30 yard line watching him
00:37:24 The Gallo brothers, Ernest and Julio,
00:37:27 party guys who'd skinned a few Mexicans
00:37:29 and forced them to carry them on their
00:37:35 The Pepsi and Coca-Cola
00:37:37 Coke adds life, it's the real thing.
00:37:41 Bombarded by missiles,
00:37:45 - (Phone)
00:37:49 in the top seats, getting the worst pollution.
00:37:52 All sorts of twisted motherfuckers there.
00:37:58 (Yells) What?
00:38:01 All right, put him through, but no more
00:38:08 'Marty. I just found out
00:38:12 'Washington is trying influence the game.'
00:38:14 - Hunter, please.
00:38:18 - Soviets could be involved.
00:38:22 I don't know, this could take a few months,
00:38:27 Besides, I just got here...
00:38:28 - You just got there?
00:38:31 You left on Tuesday. Today's Saturday.
00:38:34 You too? The same mix-up
00:38:37 I thought it was Tuesday... Saturday,
00:38:57 Room service!
00:38:58 I'll check on it. Hold on.
00:39:00 - What?
00:39:04 (Roaring) What?
00:39:09 - (Knocking)
00:39:20 Come on in. Where the hell have you been?
00:39:30 You'll be safe here.
00:39:44 I'm on the phone.
00:39:47 - (Fart)
00:39:49 - 'I'm still here.'
00:39:52 I may need some more money.
00:39:57 'OK, OK, enough.'
00:39:58 Er, sit, sit, señor.
00:40:01 I got people from the consulate here.
00:40:03 - 'What has that to do with the Super Bowl? '
00:40:06 - What the hell was that noise?
00:40:10 Get the goddamn tap off the phone!
00:40:13 You think you're playing with children here?
00:40:22 Are you OK now? Good.
00:40:25 'I OKed everything you asked for except
00:40:29 - How am I gonna see the game?
00:40:33 Shit, then you miss the slow-mos,
00:40:37 'I don't care about any replay.
00:40:39 'Thompson, are you hearing me?
00:40:45 You don't want any bogus journalism.
00:40:47 Not after your picture was in Newsweek
00:40:50 Go long. El zono finale.
00:40:54 'I want 10,000 words, Thompson.'
00:40:56 Head for the sunset! Deeper, deeper!
00:40:59 'Do you hear me? '
00:41:01 (Screaming, glass smashing)
00:41:03 - (Clattering and banging)
00:41:07 Oh, good.
00:41:09 Direct pressure is best. I'll get a Band-Aid.
00:41:12 We're getting some noise complaints
00:41:15 - (Both) We'll check it out, sir.
00:41:18 (Muffled banging and crashing)
00:41:20 Excuse me. You guys,
00:41:24 - What's your name?
00:41:25 - Danny.
00:41:27 Tomorrow's Super Sunday,
00:41:31 You look like you know what you're doing.
00:41:35 - (Crashing)
00:41:38 - I'll take care of it.
00:41:41 - You're gonna take care of it?
00:41:43 Fuckin' A, you will. Right over there.
00:41:46 (Thompson) No more calls, God damn it!
00:41:48 I want some discipline on that front desk.
00:41:51 Does the name Vince Lombardi
00:41:54 Hollywood scum. All right.
00:41:57 Rose!
00:41:59 Rose, you turned it over, sorry. It's our ball.
00:42:03 Angel, let's do it.
00:42:07 - Your conversions are gonna tell a story.
00:42:12 (Loud knocking)
00:42:14 Er...
00:42:16 go down... behind the bar.
00:42:18 - (Knocking)
00:42:20 - Right, she's in that Dallas flex.
00:42:24 Five-three! 58!
00:42:27 - (Thompson) 19 blue!
00:42:30 Hello?
00:42:31 Pork chop! Hut-hut!
00:42:34 Forced to scramble!
00:42:39 Touchdown!
00:42:41 Touchdown.
00:42:44 Hold it, come on.
00:42:47 - Just don't let him bullshit you.
00:42:50 Don't worry about a thing. I got it.
00:42:53 - (Screams)
00:42:55 - Pick him up! Dah!
00:42:57 - Shit.
00:43:01 Briggs?
00:43:04 Brownie? Yeah, it's Blackie.
00:43:07 Did the price change?
00:43:10 I didn't sleep a wink since I spoke to you.
00:43:16 (Thompson on tape) 'Super Sunday. Dawn.
00:43:19 'My recollections of the last 12 hours
00:43:24 'All that I know for certain is that,
00:43:27 'two Third World drug abusers
00:43:31 'forced their way into my room, ransacked it,
00:43:35 'drank all my liquor, did all my drugs,
00:43:38 'stole my dinner.
00:43:40 'If security isn't beefed up at this hotel,
00:43:46 'It's a sad state of affairs when this reporter
00:43:52 And what a breakfast it is.
00:43:56 Er, could I have another round?
00:43:58 - Of cocktails?
00:44:02 Super Sunday, you gotta store up energy.
00:44:06 Ah. Yeah.
00:44:10 Enjoying myself? I'm in a fucking nuthouse.
00:44:17 Sir, you can't come in here looking like that.
00:44:19 I'm the President of the United States
00:44:22 and I can do anything I want.
00:44:27 (Growling)
00:44:30 Hi, guy.
00:44:32 - (Growling)
00:44:35 All bets off, I'm coming home.
00:44:39 Hi. Sock it to me!
00:44:41 Fellow Americans. Ha-ha-ha.
00:44:43 - (Woman) Come on, let's get out of here.
00:44:49 Oh, boy, Thompson,
00:00:08 - Well?
00:00:10 (Laughs)
00:00:13 Sock it to me.
00:00:17 - Does he want a menu?
00:00:21 No, thanks, we're in... sort of a rush.
00:00:25 Thank God for that.
00:00:31 Lazlo. What happened to you?
00:00:34 Hey, man, I brought you a present, man.
00:00:37 Go ahead, try it on.
00:00:40 (Laughs)
00:00:42 Come on, hurry up. We gotta get moving.
00:00:45 - Moving?
00:00:48 - Let's get out of here.
00:00:51 - I can't go.
00:00:55 I know. I saw you in the mask,
00:00:59 - I'm here in the flesh.
00:01:04 - I've got a deadline to meet.
00:01:07 - I gotta do this story.
00:01:12 - Oh, that hurts.
00:01:16 and you have the nerve to sit there
00:01:20 Now come on before I get pissed off.
00:01:24 (Man) Get your souvenir pennants here.
00:01:29 Nothing good can come from this.
00:01:31 - Relax.
00:01:34 You grabbed me
00:01:37 to go on who knows what kind of freakout.
00:01:39 Excuse me.
00:01:42 There we go.
00:01:44 (Man) Get your programmes.
00:01:47 Get your pennants here.
00:01:52 It's good weed.
00:01:54 (Man) I got caps,
00:02:01 (Tyres squealing)
00:02:04 (Tyres squealing)
00:02:09 (Tyres squealing)
00:02:13 Say, do you fellas like football?
00:02:17 Say what?
00:02:18 I got a couple Super Bowl tickets here.
00:02:21 Let me see.
00:02:23 These look good. How much you want?
00:02:25 Who's talking sell? Let's talk trade.
00:02:28 - Trade?
00:02:33 that bottle of wine.
00:02:35 That ticket... for that wine?
00:02:40 Good.
00:02:43 - Nice hat.
00:02:45 - (Lazlo) I like the hat
00:02:47 - That's great.
00:02:50 Great.
00:02:51 Here. You'll need these.
00:02:54 - What are they?
00:02:57 - Press passes.
00:03:00 Good thinking.
00:03:02 (Grunts) Here. Go on up,
00:03:05 - This your room?
00:03:08 Thank you.
00:03:12 Have a nice Super Bowl Sunday.
00:03:14 You too.
00:03:20 Tickets, and passes, and a key?
00:03:29 - Some shit going down somewhere.
00:03:33 (# Credence Clearwater Revival:
00:03:36 # Keep on chooglin', chooglin'
00:03:39 # Chooglin'... #
00:03:42 I tried to call you a few times.
00:03:46 Yeah, well, I moved out of town.
00:03:48 Yeah, consolidate your winnings, huh?
00:03:51 Yeah, be proud, man.
00:03:53 You're becoming a famous writer.
00:03:57 I can't account for
00:04:00 I've done OK. Shit...
00:04:03 You know what I really liked, though?
00:04:05 That column where you tried to find out
00:04:08 You were missed, Lazlo, by a lot of people.
00:04:12 Not by me, of course, but...
00:04:16 I got a new approach now, a new plan.
00:04:19 I wish you luck in your new endeavour.
00:04:22 (Lazlo laughs)
00:04:24 # Keep on chooglin'
00:04:27 # Keep on chooglin'
00:04:30 # Keep on chooglin'
00:04:32 - # Chooglin'... #
00:04:34 # Chooglin', chooglin' #
00:04:48 - Come on.
00:04:52 (Sniffs) Mm.
00:04:55 Come closer, man. Closer.
00:04:57 OK, there you go. Ah...
00:04:59 Phew!
00:05:01 You know, I'm an endangered species.
00:05:05 - (Moaning and whining)
00:05:09 Like, a lot of people thought I was dead,
00:05:12 but you don't write any postcards
00:05:18 I mean, the journey to enlightenment
00:05:22 and that's the way it is, you know?
00:05:25 You just keep going further and further
00:05:29 into higher and higher realms
00:05:32 (Whining)
00:05:34 - Am I right?
00:05:36 - (Laughs)
00:05:39 - I think so, sir.
00:05:42 - I just don't pick up anybody hitchhiking.
00:05:49 I have been completely reborn.
00:05:53 I am a new man.
00:05:56 - Nyuh!
00:06:00 And I've walked with the king. You dig it?
00:06:04 I have walked with the king!
00:06:06 I've stood on the mountain,
00:06:10 - It's all over myself here.
00:06:13 He talked back.
00:06:18 We were all right.
00:06:21 Well, this is all good news. Very comforting.
00:06:24 This is empty.
00:06:25 I think I'd like to get out pretty soon.
00:06:29 Oh.
00:06:30 You don't wanna get out around here.
00:06:33 (Lazlo) No, hey, we're your friends. Relax.
00:06:36 Lazlo...
00:06:39 you may have been wrong about him.
00:06:43 He may not... fit in.
00:06:46 (Lazlo) How much do you think he knows?
00:06:48 Enough to put us in personal danger.
00:06:51 (Tyres squeal)
00:06:57 Boy. That kid was sick.
00:07:00 - Why did you pick him up?
00:07:03 He was out of his mind. What is with you,
00:07:09 - (Gunshot)
00:07:12 - I like to help people.
00:07:16 (Sniffs)
00:07:17 I thought he was just tense.
00:07:19 (Laughs)
00:07:21 (Lazlo laughs)
00:07:26 (Man) 'Mr Lewis? '
00:07:28 I'm sorry, there's no answer, Mr Lewis.
00:07:31 That's impossible. Just keep ringing.
00:07:36 - (# Music blaring)
00:08:01 Hello? Hello?
00:08:05 Hunter? Hunter what?
00:08:08 'Ain't nobody doin' no huntin' up here, fool! '
00:08:11 - '(# Music continues)'
00:08:31 - (Horn sounds)
00:08:35 'Dallas, its second trip here.
00:08:38 'Because of media hype, the news media,
00:08:42 'the distraction caused by the reporters,
00:08:45 'it is felt that a team making its first trip
00:08:49 'as the Miami Dolphins are,
00:08:51 'is much more distracted
00:08:55 'Hence one reason, repeat only one reason,
00:08:58 'for the Dallas Cowboys' favouritism
00:09:01 'Miami, of course,
00:09:05 'by winning one of the great
00:09:09 (Engine and radio off)
00:09:24 Come on, let me show you around.
00:09:26 (Dog barking)
00:09:30 Is this the old Baby Face Nelson place?
00:09:32 You guys know American gangsters?
00:09:34 - (Radio whistling)
00:09:40 You remember Billy?
00:09:43 He got paroled after three years.
00:09:46 - Glad you could make it, man.
00:09:50 when the old gang gets back for a hoot.
00:09:54 - I don't know how long I'm gonna stay.
00:09:58 As your ex-attorney,
00:10:01 Homeboy to T1. Homeboy to T1.
00:10:06 She's terrific. I met her in Vegas.
00:10:12 (Thompson coughing)
00:10:14 - Lazlo, it's Rojas, he's coming.
00:10:17 - Right on schedule.
00:10:20 Yeah, Rojas. Come on, everybody, let's go.
00:10:28 (# Mexican folk music)
00:10:33 (Rojas laughing)
00:10:46 Lazlo!
00:10:48 Compañero.
00:10:52 ¿ Como estás? Esto es Lazlo.
00:10:55 Nos tiene los rifles, las pistolas,
00:10:59 ¡Todo lo que necesitamos!
00:11:03 Is this your new A party list?
00:11:06 Odd-looking group.
00:11:09 Associates. You are my friend.
00:11:12 Oh, that's good to know.
00:11:14 - Puedo?
00:11:26 Para ti.
00:11:28 (Gasping)
00:11:30 ¡Mira lo que veo!
00:11:34 ¡Mira que belleza!
00:11:37 Pero yo nunca había visto
00:11:41 Mira!
00:11:44 - You gave this man a gun?
00:11:47 - (Rojas) Perfecto. Sí.
00:11:51 No.
00:11:53 Es como una mujer!
00:11:59 (Bellows)
00:12:01 (Roars)
00:12:03 Playful little puppy, isn't he?
00:12:13 (Glass shattering)
00:12:17 (Bullets ricocheting)
00:12:19 (Chickens clucking excitedly)
00:12:22 - Muy buenos rifle.
00:12:25 - Muy fast.
00:12:32 (Sniggering)
00:12:37 - (Squealing)
00:12:39 - (Squealing)
00:12:43 Cara tan linda, coño, ven aca.
00:12:49 Un tequilita, un tequilita.
00:12:52 Lazlo, what kind of weirdness is that?
00:12:57 Look, man...
00:12:59 We need you to write about our movement.
00:13:04 - Airplane?
00:13:07 They got a struggle and I wanna help 'em.
00:13:10 - You should be part of it.
00:13:14 This cheap imitation General Patton
00:13:17 I oughtta Mace the fucker for that cheap
00:13:22 (# Singing drunkenly with music)
00:13:29 It's history, man.
00:13:31 Guns, dope, armed insurrection.
00:13:35 Peasant land seizure.
00:13:37 Dig it.
00:13:38 Ghost riders, anarchist prophets,
00:13:41 fire, blood...
00:13:43 revolution!
00:13:46 Oh, it's a grand, grand tale, Laz.
00:13:48 It's right up there with Gone With The Wind.
00:13:52 I'm all for dope and goats, nobody's bigger,
00:13:55 but, you know, crazed dope lawyer
00:13:59 I'm pounding it up in my head
00:14:01 and I think you should take me back
00:14:05 Don't give me this shit,
00:14:08 You gotta write a story. I need your help.
00:14:11 Lazlo, look out there,
00:14:15 They stop their own.
00:14:16 Hey, guns don't scare me, buddy.
00:14:20 (Laughter)
00:14:23 - (Screaming)
00:14:26 - (Rojas shouts)
00:14:28 Oh, gee, what a mix-up. Sorry.
00:14:31 Oh, my God. Jeez.
00:14:32 Billy, you wanna turn on the game?
00:14:35 See if there's a score, Bill, yeah.
00:14:39 'Half-time here at Super Bowl VI
00:14:43 'I say only because the seven-point margin
00:14:49 'through the first 30 minutes.'
00:14:51 - (Laughing)
00:14:55 'by the brilliant running
00:14:58 - 'Hi, Momma! '
00:15:01 'I wanna say hi to Big Bertha... '
00:15:04 - 'Sir, you'll have to leave.'
00:15:40 Hey, man, I'm glad you're here.
00:15:55 Who's your favourite group?
00:16:01 (Man) 'This is T1 to Homeboy. Over.'
00:16:03 - This is Homeboy.
00:16:07 (Radio crackling)
00:16:10 (Lazlo) Over there. Yeah, on that ridge.
00:16:13 We see you, you're dead ahead.
00:16:15 Billy, light the runway.
00:16:18 (Generator chugging)
00:16:22 (Laughs)
00:16:24 (Mexicans laughing)
00:16:29 (Laughter continues)
00:16:36 (Tyres squeal)
00:16:53 Truthfully now, have you done this before?
00:16:55 Many, many times. (Laughs)
00:17:04 OK, everybody, let's go.
00:17:09 Please! You can't leave your car here.
00:17:13 (Lazlo) Come on, come on.
00:17:15 It's your car, somebody's gonna steal it.
00:17:18 (Rojas) ¡Ándale, ándale!
00:17:21 Move it, pronto!
00:17:25 (Lazlo) Put it in there.
00:17:26 Partner.
00:17:28 (Rojas and Lazlo shouting)
00:17:31 Move it, come on! Move it!
00:17:33 Vamos, muchachos. Let's go.
00:17:40 Holy shit.
00:17:42 (All shouting)
00:17:52 Come on!
00:17:54 - This guy a friend of yours?
00:17:57 Can I carry something?
00:17:59 Yeah.
00:18:05 Hey... whoa!
00:18:11 - (Gunshot)
00:18:14 (Gunfire)
00:18:16 - Come on, man!
00:18:20 Bastards! Playground strafers!
00:18:23 - This car is a classic!
00:18:26 Hey! Hey! Thompson!
00:18:29 - (Gunshot)
00:18:31 Red alert! Red alert!
00:18:39 (Gunshots)
00:18:52 I don't think we'll be doing this again, Lazlo.
00:19:11 (Crowd chanting) Gonzo! Gonzo! Gonzo!
00:19:16 (Chanting continues)
00:19:20 Dr Thompson, where've you been?
00:19:24 - Come on. Are you OK?
00:19:26 - I... I was just...
00:19:29 - calling me first thing...
00:19:32 - Holy Jesus.
00:19:35 I don't think so.
00:19:38 - Only a fool would go in there.
00:19:41 They probably mean business.
00:19:44 Come on. I think it's gonna be all right.
00:19:48 - You look just fine.
00:19:50 - but I don't feel too confident.
00:19:53 - I'll be right back. Stay right there.
00:19:57 Gonzo! Gonzo!
00:19:59 OK!
00:20:00 (Chanting slowly subsides)
00:20:02 They got the real woodpeckers here today.
00:20:05 - (Cheering)
00:20:09 - but he's here, so you'll get him.
00:20:19 (Wild cheering)
00:20:26 OK, quiet down, everybody.
00:20:29 OK, great.
00:20:31 OK, as you all know, Dr Thompson
00:20:36 He's on a very tight schedule, so keep
00:20:40 Ladies and gentlemen, Dr Thompson.
00:20:43 (Cheering)
00:20:52 (Laughter)
00:20:56 (Woman) Me, me, me!
00:20:58 - (Feedback)
00:21:00 - Er, Dr Thompson...
00:21:04 - (Laughter)
00:21:07 you're having difficulty
00:21:11 Well, I think we keep different hours.
00:21:13 (Scattered laughter and applause)
00:21:16 Probably most of it, he calls me, I'm not in.
00:21:21 He calls back, gets my machine.
00:21:23 I call him back, he's under sedation.
00:21:27 Cos I thought it had
00:21:30 where you called him a treacherous hack
00:21:36 who should be castrated so that his genes
00:21:41 (Whooping)
00:21:46 Did I say that?
00:21:48 Well, I must have meant it if I said it. So...
00:21:52 I owe him an apology or nothing at all.
00:21:55 If you get to see him,
00:21:58 Well, er...
00:22:00 - I'm gonna tell him to wear brighter colours.
00:22:04 He, er...
00:22:06 (Whooping)
00:22:09 Shut up. I'll talk.
00:22:11 Why do you think they gave me this?
00:22:14 Dr Thompson,
00:22:17 Oh.
00:22:18 Yeah? Those of us? Shall we raise
00:22:22 Could you tell me if you thought drugs
00:22:27 - (Cheering and shouting)
00:22:30 Let me see.
00:22:32 (Crowd shouting and calling)
00:22:34 (Laughter)
00:22:40 (Cheering)
00:22:51 (Cheering)
00:22:54 In my case, I hate to advocate drugs
00:23:01 but in my case it's worked.
00:23:03 (Woman) We have another question
00:23:06 Dr Thompson, er, are you gonna write
00:23:11 Lazlo, my attorney?
00:23:15 No.
00:23:16 - No, he's dead.
00:23:19 He hasn't been heard from for some time
00:23:23 Well, it always seemed to me
00:23:28 that he was a figment of your writing.
00:23:32 You couldn't invent someone like
00:23:37 (Quiet laughter)
00:23:40 A real heavyweight water buffalo type.
00:23:44 Who could, er, chew his way through
00:23:47 and spit out the other side
00:23:51 and look good in doing it.
00:23:53 He, er, he was one of a kind, and, er...
00:24:01 (# Hendrix-style rock)
00:24:17 # Well, I'm here
00:24:21 # For all these people to take this flight
00:24:25 # I wrote my song
00:24:28 # But I'm still on this plane tonight
00:24:40 # The people on the highways
00:24:44 # All these strangers go with you too
00:24:48 # Are we free and are we ready?
00:24:51 # We're always wrong... #
00:24:57 (Lively chatter)
00:24:59 - Hey, Dooley! When do I get the interview?
00:25:03 You've been saying that for days, Dooley.
00:25:05 I would appreciate it because I have to file.
00:25:08 The candidate is very interested in you,
00:25:13 I make sure he sees them.
00:25:15 - Dooley...
00:25:19 (Thompson singing, indistinct)
00:25:23 Excuse me. (Mumbled singing)
00:25:25 (Man) Ah!
00:25:29 Thank you. Oh, hi.
00:25:32 Oh, excuse me.
00:25:35 Excuse me.
00:25:39 - Somebody sitting there?
00:25:43 Oh, jeez, I'm sorry.
00:26:03 They never search me. Honest face.
00:26:09 Fortunate it's me and not some maniac.
00:26:12 You could raise some real hell with this.
00:26:14 Torture a stewardess, hold the pilot at bay,
00:26:24 (Slurps)
00:26:29 - Want some?
00:26:31 Lot of C in there, vitamin C.
00:26:34 Well, I get very greedy with my supplies
00:26:45 Back on board the campaign special.
00:26:48 Just made the plane after a flock
00:26:54 The candidate is probably under sedation
00:26:58 Last night he was at the hotel pool
00:27:02 who were skinny-dipping in the pool.
00:27:05 Screamed, "Watch my cannonball,"
00:27:09 landed right on his testicles.
00:27:11 Be tough to watch his speech today knowing
00:27:15 OK, Thompson, up.
00:27:18 Special session with the candidate, I guess.
00:27:22 Bring your stuff, you're off the plane.
00:27:25 You can't throw me off.
00:27:27 I decide who goes on what plane.
00:27:29 From now on, you're on the zoo plane
00:27:33 Dooley, let him stay. He's got
00:27:37 Don't push your luck, Lisogor.
00:27:40 This is a cruel and bitter defeat,
00:27:45 I'm not gonna worry about it.
00:28:05 (Stewardess) Would you like a beer?
00:28:08 (Neil Young)
00:28:12 # Where the buffalo roam
00:28:16 # Where the deer and the antelope play
00:28:24 # Where seldom is heard
00:28:28 # A discouraging word
00:28:32 # And the skies are not cloudy all day... #
00:28:38 In the event of sudden loss of cabin
00:28:44 (Lively chatter)
00:28:46 - Hi.
00:28:48 A minor setback, that's all.
00:28:50 - Thank you, you're very sweet.
00:28:54 Ooh!
00:28:56 (Lively chatter, men shouting)
00:29:18 - You're Harris from the Post, aren't you?
00:29:21 That was nice stuff on the Florida primary.
00:29:24 You were the only one who had
00:29:28 - Incomplete.
00:29:31 It's usually worse. Everyone's getting up.
00:29:33 Thank God I'm only on for one stop. I don't
00:29:38 It gets real ugly late in the day
00:29:48 (# Drunken singing)
00:29:50 (Men shouting)
00:30:01 Jesus, why do they have to make
00:30:04 Hey, how about shutting up?
00:30:07 (Singing and shouting continue)
00:30:10 Hey, you don't look too good.
00:30:12 - My head feels like it's caving in.
00:30:17 You got some aspirin there?
00:30:19 These are prescription
00:30:23 They won't put me to sleep?
00:30:25 Oh, no.
00:30:27 They'll relax you, though, quite a bit.
00:30:39 - (Man) Whoa!
00:30:42 Oh, one of the gang.
00:30:45 One of these people?
00:30:47 Several of us are qualified
00:30:53 Listen, I think I'd like one of those,
00:30:56 Don't tell anybody where you got 'em.
00:30:58 - I'll take two.
00:31:01 (Crunching)
00:31:05 - Here.
00:31:09 I never had any complaints
00:31:14 Mmm.
00:31:22 Listen to what Thompson's written.
00:31:24 "The candidate,
00:31:27 "brought their weird act to Wisconsin,
00:31:29 "passing out free hits of black acid
00:31:34 - Acid?
00:31:37 "of getting votes."
00:31:42 - (# Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds)
00:31:48 Make way! Make way!
00:31:50 (Laughing)
00:31:52 Harris from the Post!
00:31:55 (Laughs) Is coming through!
00:31:58 Where is he?
00:32:02 Thompson?
00:32:04 (Laughing)
00:32:08 Thompson! Thompson!
00:32:10 It's Harris from the Post!
00:32:13 # Look for the girl with the sun in her eyes
00:32:17 # And she's gone
00:32:21 # Lucy in the sky with diamonds!
00:32:27 # Lucy in the sky with diamonds! #
00:32:32 - (Harris laughing)
00:32:40 Who's this?
00:32:43 Harris from the Post!
00:32:47 - (Music stops)
00:32:49 - Oh, jeez.
00:32:52 He's not instrument rated though.
00:32:55 I feel... wonferdul.
00:32:58 - You're looking good. OK.
00:33:00 - All right, let's go have a cocktail.
00:33:05 All right. Yeah, I told her about you.
00:33:07 (Laughing hysterically)
00:33:11 We got an emergency here!
00:33:14 (Woman) I'll be out in a second.
00:33:24 All right, let me have your attention, please.
00:33:27 Keep moving, just listen to me.
00:33:30 The candidate will be speaking at the Loving
00:33:35 We will reassemble here at 2:30,
00:33:40 - Once again, the candidate...
00:33:43 ...will be speaking at the Loving... Care
00:33:47 Excuse me, have you seen Mr Harris
00:33:52 # Lucy in the sky with diamonds #
00:33:58 Mr Harris, what happened?
00:34:00 # Ah, Lu-u-u-u-u-ucy in the sky
00:34:08 (Electric shaver whirring)
00:34:17 What's all this?
00:34:19 Harris from the Post.
00:34:22 How you doing, boys? Good to see you.
00:34:42 Hiya, sir. Harris from the Post.
00:34:45 Good to see you again.
00:34:47 (Grunts)
00:34:50 Can I get anything for you, sir?
00:34:52 How's the family, Harris?
00:34:55 The family? Oh, that's bad news.
00:34:59 The screwheads finally came
00:35:02 Let me ask you a question, sir.
00:35:04 What is this country doing for the doomed?
00:35:10 There are two kinds of people
00:35:13 The doomed...
00:35:15 and the screwheads,
00:35:16 savage tribal thugs who live off
00:35:22 No respect for human dignity.
00:35:25 They don't know what you and I understand.
00:35:28 You ever play football, Harris?
00:35:30 Yes, sir.
00:35:32 Thank you, sir. I played in college.
00:35:35 They're gonna get your daughter too.
00:35:39 They like Julie, but Tricia...
00:35:43 And they really hate you, sir.
00:35:48 You know that one half
00:35:51 of Utah... are screwheads?
00:35:56 You know, I was never really
00:36:00 bop-heads.
00:36:03 And the potheads with their silliness
00:36:09 But these goddamn screwheads...
00:36:13 they terrify me.
00:36:15 (Trickling)
00:36:18 (Dryers whirring)
00:36:22 (Muffled whirring)
00:36:24 And the poor doomed,
00:36:27 the young and the silly and the honest,
00:36:32 and weak,
00:36:34 and Italians,
00:36:38 they're doomed.
00:36:40 They're lost, they're helpless,
00:36:43 they're somebody else's meal.
00:36:46 They're like pigs in the wilderness.
00:36:51 Come here, Harris.
00:36:54 Come here.
00:36:56 Fuck the doomed.
00:37:06 (Dooley) Move it along, no need to run.
00:37:09 - Just get on the plane.
00:37:12 (Dooley) This is it, right up here. Take your
00:37:17 - (Man) Hey, Dooley...
00:37:21 You wanna pick that up, take it with you?
00:37:24 Pick that up, take it with you!
00:37:26 (Quiet chatter)
00:37:34 (Stewardess) Would you like a cocktail?
00:37:38 (Woman) Do you happen to have
00:37:42 (Sniffs)
00:37:47 Holy shit.
00:37:48 (Thompson) Not here.
00:38:02 - Is this seat taken?
00:38:08 - Is something wrong?
00:38:11 No, nothing is wrong.
00:38:13 I just thought maybe I'd forgotten
00:38:16 Here it is. Everything's in order now.
00:38:29 Say, uh... if anyone asks...
00:38:33 this seat right here is taken.
00:38:36 It's highly unlikely but I may have to flop
00:38:41 Seizures?
00:38:48 Excuse me.
00:38:53 Oh, I'm sorry, this seat is taken.
00:38:57 - No, it isn't.
00:39:00 - He's capable of seizures.
00:39:04 That's better.
00:39:07 No, no, just relax.
00:39:11 Good.
00:39:14 This is terrific.
00:39:17 No question,
00:39:21 Harris. My name is Harris.
00:39:24 Ooh, Harris, right, I got it.
00:39:27 Undercover, right?
00:39:28 - Maybe I should sit somewhere else.
00:39:33 But... I don't wanna sit here.
00:39:36 Trust me.
00:39:38 OK?
00:39:42 So, man...
00:39:44 you surprised to see me?
00:39:47 You bet.
00:39:49 You have no idea how much trouble
00:39:53 - all the zipping around you do.
00:39:58 Yeah, well, anyway...
00:40:00 we got some business to do.
00:40:04 - We have business?
00:40:09 Now... Jesus, I got so much stuff here,
00:40:13 (Paper rustling)
00:40:15 This is it.
00:40:17 Land. Our land.
00:40:21 Acres and acres of it, man.
00:40:23 Square miles of land.
00:40:26 - Well?
00:40:29 I'm gonna be in San Francisco Tuesday.
00:40:33 Hey, man, that's no good.
00:40:37 Look at this.
00:40:39 - These guys you can trust, I trained 'em.
00:40:45 Here. Look at this. Look at the body.
00:40:48 She's down there waiting for you.
00:40:51 I picked her out myself.
00:40:56 Hey.
00:41:00 This is Harris of the Post,
00:41:02 er, experiencing extreme turbulence,
00:41:06 (Thompson) Holy Jesus.
00:41:08 Er, the forecast is for bad greasiness.
00:41:11 Don't you understand, man?
00:41:13 This'll be like having our own country,
00:41:17 It'll be like paradise, man,
00:41:20 You wise-ass son of a bitch. You're off
00:41:25 - Hold on.
00:41:27 Hey, calm down.
00:41:29 Calm down? Who are you? Who is he?
00:41:33 - Fat clown?
00:41:35 Yeah, fat clown.
00:41:39 (Commotion)
00:41:41 You psychotic, you've done it to me again.
00:41:43 It's for your own good.
00:41:47 Ooh, look out.
00:41:50 It's just a drill, just a drill. Stay down.
00:41:52 - Dooley, are you all right?
00:41:55 Dooley, heads up.
00:41:57 (Screaming)
00:41:59 Stay back!
00:42:02 (Shouting and screaming)
00:42:06 How do you stop this thing?
00:42:08 (Screaming)
00:42:12 It's stuck. What the hell?
00:42:14 Agh! It wasn't, you swine!
00:42:18 - Oh, my God.
00:42:20 Back there, whoo!
00:42:33 (Laughs)
00:42:35 Oh, that was great, man.
00:42:38 - Jesus.
00:42:42 You are a menace to yourself
00:42:45 You can't stay on that plane, you'll dry up.
00:42:50 It did take a while to rile them up.
00:42:53 They're not your people.
00:42:56 We're right on schedule. Truck's over here.
00:42:59 - I'm not coming.
00:43:02 I can't, you're insane, you're a maniac.
00:43:05 You're fortunate I haven't turned you in.
00:43:07 Hey, man, what are you talking about?
00:43:09 - I got this organised. Look at it.
00:43:14 - That's the idea. We'll build.
00:43:17 You already live in the land of the weird.
00:43:20 Fuck, man, you're a writer.
00:43:23 - All right. Oh, there's buildings there.
00:43:28 Our own place, you and me.
00:43:31 We got land, we got dope, we got women.
00:43:33 What kind of women would go there?
00:43:36 - That's not it, man.
00:43:38 You gotta be my partner,
00:43:41 Fifty-fifty.
00:43:44 Yeah, but I'm not coming.
00:43:49 It's blowing away!
00:43:51 Hey, come on, help me.
00:43:53 Hunter, come on.
00:43:55 You're my friend. Help me. It's gonna be
00:44:00 (Plane thundering into distance)
00:44:12 (Typewriter keys clacking)
00:44:30 Hot damn.
00:44:33 So much for the facts.
00:44:35 Bronco, listen to this, tell me what you think.
00:44:41 "Well, I guess if I had to swear
00:44:46 "I'd say Lazlo wasn't insane.
00:44:48 "He just had very strange rhythms.
00:44:52 "But he stomped on the terror.
00:44:55 "Lord Buckley said that.
00:44:58 "It's hard to say he got what he deserved...
00:45:03 - "because he never really got anything."
00:45:13 - (Phone continues)
00:45:17 - "and right now this story is all we have."
00:45:20 (Ringing stops)
00:45:24 (Low growl, barks)
00:45:27 Come on, Bronco, we're celebrating.
00:45:33 Come on, the story is finished, man,
00:45:45 To better days, huh?
00:45:47 (Slurping)
00:45:58 (Thompson sighs)
00:46:00 A close second, Bronco. (Burps)
00:46:08 "It's sad.
00:46:11 "But what's really sad is...
00:46:13 "it never got weird enough for me.
00:46:17 "I moved to the country
00:46:21 "Then I learned that President Nixon
00:46:24 "had been eaten by white cannibals
00:46:29 "for no good reason at all.
00:46:32 "Golly, you hear a lot of savage and
00:46:39 "And Lazlo and Nixon are both gone now.
00:46:46 "But I don't think I'm going to believe that
00:46:49 "until I can gnaw on both of their skulls
00:46:55 Fuck those people, huh?
00:46:58 "If they're out there, I'm going to find them
00:47:01 "and I'm going to gnaw on their skulls...
00:47:06 "because it still hasn't gotten