|
Wit
|
| 00:00:35 |
You have cancer. |
| 00:00:37 |
Miss Bearing, you have |
| 00:00:45 |
Go on. |
| 00:00:47 |
-You are a professor, Miss Bearing. |
| 00:00:51 |
Why, yes. |
| 00:00:53 |
Now then, you present with a growth |
| 00:00:57 |
in stages one, two, and three. |
| 00:00:59 |
-Now it is an insidious adenocarcinoma-- |
| 00:01:03 |
lnsidious means undetectable at an early-- |
| 00:01:05 |
lnsidious means treacherous. |
| 00:01:08 |
-Shall l continue? |
| 00:01:11 |
Good. |
| 00:01:12 |
ln invasive epithelial carcinoma... |
| 00:01:14 |
the most effective treatment modality |
| 00:01:18 |
We are developing |
| 00:01:21 |
designed for primary-site ovarian, |
| 00:01:25 |
and beyond administration. |
| 00:01:27 |
Am l going too fast? |
| 00:01:29 |
No. |
| 00:01:32 |
You will be hospitalized |
| 00:01:32 |
You will be hospitalized |
| 00:01:36 |
After the initial eight cycles, |
| 00:01:40 |
The antineoplastic will inevitably |
| 00:01:44 |
including those lining |
| 00:01:46 |
from the lips to the anus, |
| 00:01:48 |
We will be relying on your resolve... |
| 00:01:50 |
to withstand some of the more |
| 00:01:58 |
l beg your pardon. |
| 00:02:02 |
-Do you have any questions so far? |
| 00:02:05 |
-Perhaps some of these terms are new-- |
| 00:02:10 |
l make a point of it. |
| 00:02:13 |
So do l. Thoroughness, |
| 00:02:17 |
but, they are constitutionally |
| 00:02:21 |
-Yours too. |
| 00:02:23 |
-Mine are blind. |
| 00:02:26 |
-You just have to hope. |
| 00:02:32 |
Where were we? |
| 00:02:33 |
l believe l was being |
| 00:02:35 |
Right. |
| 00:02:36 |
Now, the tumor is spreading very quickly. |
| 00:02:40 |
And this treatment is very aggressive. |
| 00:02:43 |
-So far, so good? |
| 00:02:46 |
-Better not teach next semester. |
| 00:02:49 |
The first week of each cycle |
| 00:02:52 |
The next week you may feel a little tired. |
| 00:02:55 |
-The next two will be fine, relatively. |
| 00:02:59 |
This treatment is the strongest thing |
| 00:03:03 |
And as research it'll make a significant |
| 00:03:07 |
Knowledge. Yes. |
| 00:03:11 |
Here is the informed consent form. |
| 00:03:15 |
Should you agree, |
| 00:03:29 |
ls there a family member |
| 00:03:32 |
That won't be necessary. |
| 00:03:34 |
Good. |
| 00:03:36 |
The important thing is for you to take |
| 00:03:39 |
There may be times when you wish |
| 00:03:43 |
But we've got to go full force. |
| 00:03:47 |
-Dr. Bearing? |
| 00:03:50 |
You must be very tough. |
| 00:03:52 |
Do you think you can be very tough? |
| 00:03:55 |
You needn't worry. |
| 00:03:57 |
Good. |
| 00:04:00 |
Excellent. |
| 00:04:11 |
l should have asked more questions. |
| 00:04:13 |
Because l knew |
| 00:04:19 |
-Hi, how you feeling today? |
| 00:04:23 |
Great. That's just great. |
| 00:04:29 |
This is not my standard greeting, |
| 00:04:33 |
l tend toward something |
| 00:04:35 |
a little less inquisitive. |
| 00:04:37 |
Such as, say, ''Hello.'' |
| 00:04:41 |
But it is the standard greeting here, |
| 00:04:46 |
Of course, it is not very often |
| 00:04:52 |
l've been asked, ''How are you feeling?'' |
| 00:04:58 |
l have been asked... |
| 00:04:59 |
as l was emerging |
| 00:05:03 |
with a tube in every orifice: |
| 00:05:06 |
''How are you feeling today?'' |
| 00:05:08 |
l'm waiting for the moment when |
| 00:05:13 |
l'm a little sorry l'll miss that. |
| 00:05:20 |
l have cancer. |
| 00:05:22 |
lnsidious cancer, |
| 00:05:25 |
No, the treatment |
| 00:05:32 |
l have stage four |
| 00:05:37 |
There is no stage five. |
| 00:05:41 |
And l have to be very tough. |
| 00:05:45 |
lt appears to be a matter, |
| 00:05:48 |
of life and death. |
| 00:05:51 |
l know all about life and death. |
| 00:05:54 |
l am, after all, |
| 00:05:59 |
specializing in |
| 00:06:03 |
which explore mortality |
| 00:06:06 |
than any body of work |
| 00:06:08 |
And l know for a fact that l am tough. |
| 00:06:11 |
A demanding professor. |
| 00:06:13 |
Uncompromising. |
| 00:06:15 |
Never one to turn from a challenge. |
| 00:06:18 |
That is why l chose to study John Donne... |
| 00:06:22 |
while a student |
| 00:06:29 |
Oh, yes. |
| 00:06:33 |
Your essay on Holy Sonnet Vl... |
| 00:06:36 |
is a melodrama with a veneer |
| 00:06:39 |
to say nothing of Donne. Do it again. |
| 00:06:43 |
Begin with the text, Miss Bearing, |
| 00:06:47 |
''Death be not proud |
| 00:06:49 |
''Though some have called thee |
| 00:06:53 |
''Thou art not so'' |
| 00:06:55 |
You've missed the point of the poem... |
| 00:06:57 |
because you've used |
| 00:07:00 |
that is inauthentically punctuated. |
| 00:07:02 |
-ln the Gardner edition-- |
| 00:07:05 |
-Miss Bearing? |
| 00:07:08 |
You take this too lightly. |
| 00:07:09 |
This is metaphysical poetry, |
| 00:07:13 |
The standards of scholarship |
| 00:07:15 |
which one would apply to any other text |
| 00:07:19 |
The effort must be total |
| 00:07:24 |
Do you think that the punctuation |
| 00:07:28 |
is merely an insignificant detail? |
| 00:07:32 |
The sonnet begins with |
| 00:07:35 |
calling on all the forces |
| 00:07:37 |
to vanquish the enemy. |
| 00:07:40 |
But it is ultimately about overcoming |
| 00:07:44 |
separating life, death and eternal life. |
| 00:07:49 |
ln the edition you chose, |
| 00:07:53 |
is sacrificed to hysterical punctuation. |
| 00:07:57 |
''And Death'' capital D... |
| 00:07:59 |
''shall be no more;'' semi-colon. |
| 00:08:03 |
''Death,'' capital D, comma... |
| 00:08:05 |
''thou shalt die! '', exclamation mark. |
| 00:08:10 |
lf you go in for this sort of thing |
| 00:08:14 |
Gardner's edition of the Holy Sonnets... |
| 00:08:16 |
returns to the Westmoreland |
| 00:08:20 |
Not for sentimental reasons, |
| 00:08:22 |
but because Helen Gardner is a scholar. |
| 00:08:26 |
lt reads: |
| 00:08:29 |
''And death shall be no more,'' comma... |
| 00:08:33 |
''Death thou shalt die.'' |
| 00:08:36 |
Nothing but a breath, a comma... |
| 00:08:38 |
separates life from life everlasting. |
| 00:08:42 |
Very simple, really. |
| 00:08:43 |
With the original punctuation restored, |
| 00:08:47 |
to act out on a stage |
| 00:08:51 |
lt is a comma. A pause. |
| 00:08:55 |
ln this way, the uncompromising way... |
| 00:08:58 |
one learns something |
| 00:09:01 |
Life, death, soul, God... |
| 00:09:05 |
past, present. |
| 00:09:07 |
Not insuperable barriers. |
| 00:09:10 |
Not semicolons. |
| 00:09:13 |
Just a comma. |
| 00:09:16 |
Life, death, l see. |
| 00:09:21 |
lt's a metaphysical conceit, it's wit. |
| 00:09:24 |
-l'll go back to the library-- |
| 00:09:28 |
The paper's not the point. |
| 00:09:30 |
lsn't it? |
| 00:09:32 |
Vivian, you're a bright young woman. |
| 00:09:35 |
Use your intelligence. |
| 00:09:38 |
Don't go back to the library, go out. |
| 00:09:41 |
Enjoy yourself with friends. |
| 00:09:50 |
l went outside. |
| 00:09:54 |
lt was a warm day. |
| 00:09:57 |
There were students on the lawn |
| 00:09:59 |
There were students on the lawn |
| 00:10:03 |
Simple human truth. |
| 00:10:06 |
Uncompromising scholarly standards. |
| 00:10:11 |
They're connected. |
| 00:10:13 |
l just couldn't.... |
| 00:10:19 |
l went back to the library. |
| 00:10:23 |
Anyway.... |
| 00:10:26 |
All right. |
| 00:10:29 |
''Significant contribution to knowledge.'' |
| 00:10:33 |
''Eight cycles of chemotherapy.'' |
| 00:10:37 |
Give me the full dose. |
| 00:10:39 |
The full dose every time. |
| 00:10:46 |
The attention was flattering... |
| 00:10:49 |
for the first five minutes. |
| 00:11:04 |
-Name? |
| 00:11:07 |
Vivian Bearing. |
| 00:11:10 |
Bearing. B-E-A-R-l-N-G. |
| 00:11:13 |
Vivian. V-l-V-l-A-N. |
| 00:11:16 |
-Doctor? |
| 00:11:19 |
Your doctor? |
| 00:11:22 |
Dr. Harvey Kelekian. |
| 00:11:34 |
l am a doctor of philosophy. |
| 00:11:37 |
Take a deep breath and hold it. |
| 00:11:41 |
Okay. |
| 00:11:43 |
A scholar of 17th century poetry. |
| 00:11:45 |
Arms above your head, and hold it. |
| 00:11:49 |
Okay. |
| 00:11:51 |
l have made an immeasurable contribution |
| 00:11:56 |
l am, in short, a force. |
| 00:11:59 |
Okay, that's it. |
| 00:12:01 |
Name? |
| 00:12:03 |
Lucy, Countess of Bedford. |
| 00:12:07 |
-l don't see it here. |
| 00:12:09 |
B-E-A-R-l-N-G. Dr. Kelekian is my doctor. |
| 00:12:13 |
Okay, lie down. |
| 00:12:28 |
After an astounding |
| 00:12:31 |
l studied for three years |
| 00:12:33 |
during which l learned |
| 00:12:36 |
what it means to be |
| 00:12:38 |
As a research Fellow, my principal task... |
| 00:12:41 |
was the alphabetizing of index cards |
| 00:12:46 |
of Donne's |
| 00:12:51 |
l am thanked in the preface. |
| 00:12:54 |
''Miss Vivian Bearing, |
| 00:13:05 |
Thank you. |
| 00:13:13 |
Where's your wheelchair? |
| 00:13:16 |
l do not know. l was busy, just now. |
| 00:13:19 |
How you gonna get outta here? |
| 00:13:21 |
-l could walk. |
| 00:13:25 |
l do not know, |
| 00:13:28 |
l guess l gotta go find you a chair. |
| 00:13:32 |
Don't inconvenience yourself on my behalf. |
| 00:13:40 |
Miss Bearing, this is Jason Posner. |
| 00:13:42 |
He's gonna do your medical history |
| 00:13:45 |
He's Dr. Kelekian's Fellow. |
| 00:13:47 |
l'm Dr. Posner, clinical Fellow |
| 00:13:51 |
working with Dr. Kelekian. |
| 00:13:52 |
Sit over here, please. |
| 00:13:54 |
Prof. Bearing, |
| 00:13:57 |
-Took your course in 17th century poetry. |
| 00:14:00 |
Yes, l thought it was excellent. |
| 00:14:02 |
Thank you. |
| 00:14:03 |
-Were you an English major? |
| 00:14:06 |
You can't get into med school |
| 00:14:09 |
l bet with myself l could get an A |
| 00:14:12 |
How'd you do? |
| 00:14:14 |
-Success. |
| 00:14:16 |
A-minus. lt was a very tough course. |
| 00:14:22 |
-Yeah, l'll call you. |
| 00:14:28 |
l'll just wheel this over. |
| 00:14:31 |
Okay, l'm going to be taking your history... |
| 00:14:35 |
which is a medical interview, |
| 00:14:38 |
l believe Dr. Kelekian |
| 00:14:41 |
l know, but Dr. Kelekian |
| 00:14:44 |
Very well. |
| 00:14:46 |
Okay, let's just get started. |
| 00:14:48 |
-How are you feeling today? |
| 00:14:50 |
-And how's your general health? |
| 00:14:53 |
Good. |
| 00:14:54 |
-We know that you're an academic. |
| 00:14:57 |
-So we don't need to talk about your work. |
| 00:15:02 |
-How old are you? |
| 00:15:03 |
-Are you married? |
| 00:15:05 |
-Are your parents living? |
| 00:15:06 |
How and when did they die? |
| 00:15:08 |
My father, suddenly, |
| 00:15:12 |
My mother, slowly, when l was 41 or 42. |
| 00:15:17 |
-Cancer? |
| 00:15:19 |
-l see. Any siblings? |
| 00:15:21 |
And now your past medical history. |
| 00:15:24 |
-Have you ever been hospitalized? |
| 00:15:28 |
-Have you ever been pregnant? |
| 00:15:30 |
-Heart murmurs? |
| 00:15:31 |
-High blood pressure? |
| 00:15:33 |
-Venereal diseases, uterine infections-- |
| 00:15:35 |
-Thyroid, diabetes, cancer-- |
| 00:15:39 |
-When? |
| 00:15:42 |
-Not including now. |
| 00:15:46 |
Okay. |
| 00:15:48 |
Clinical depression, nervous breakdown, |
| 00:15:51 |
No. |
| 00:15:52 |
-Do you smoke? |
| 00:15:53 |
-Ethanol. |
| 00:15:56 |
Alcohol. |
| 00:15:58 |
-Ethanol. Yes, l drink wine. |
| 00:16:02 |
A glass, with dinner, occasionally, |
| 00:16:07 |
-Do you use any substances? |
| 00:16:09 |
Marijuana, cocaine, crack cocaine, |
| 00:16:12 |
No. |
| 00:16:14 |
-Do you drink caffeinated beverages? |
| 00:16:16 |
-Which ones? |
| 00:16:20 |
-How many? |
| 00:16:23 |
But l don't think that's immoderate. |
| 00:16:25 |
How often do you have |
| 00:16:27 |
Not as often as l should probably, |
| 00:16:32 |
-So, the answer is? |
| 00:16:37 |
What do you do for exercise? |
| 00:16:40 |
Pace. |
| 00:16:43 |
-Are you having sexual relations? |
| 00:16:48 |
-Are you pre or post-menopausal? |
| 00:16:51 |
-When did your periods stop? |
| 00:16:55 |
Okay. |
| 00:16:59 |
When did you first notice |
| 00:17:01 |
-This time, now? |
| 00:17:04 |
About four months ago, l felt a pain |
| 00:17:09 |
like a cramp, but not the same. |
| 00:17:11 |
-How did it feel? |
| 00:17:13 |
-But not the same? |
| 00:17:17 |
-What happened next? |
| 00:17:20 |
l started noticing my body, little things. |
| 00:17:24 |
What kind of pain? |
| 00:17:25 |
Sharp... |
| 00:17:27 |
and sudden. |
| 00:17:29 |
Then it would go away, |
| 00:17:32 |
Exhausted. l was working |
| 00:17:34 |
the article on John Donne... |
| 00:17:36 |
for the Oxford Encyclopedia |
| 00:17:38 |
lt was a great honor, |
| 00:17:41 |
-Were you under stress? |
| 00:17:45 |
l just couldn't withstand it this time. |
| 00:17:47 |
So.... |
| 00:17:49 |
l went to see Dr. Chin, my gynecologist, |
| 00:17:53 |
She examined me, |
| 00:17:56 |
who sent me to Kelekian |
| 00:18:01 |
-And that's it. |
| 00:18:04 |
That's very interesting. |
| 00:18:07 |
l guess we'll start the exam. |
| 00:18:10 |
Why don't you just sort of lie back |
| 00:18:16 |
Won't take a minute. |
| 00:18:26 |
Let me get this sheet. |
| 00:18:29 |
Here. |
| 00:18:31 |
Okay. |
| 00:18:35 |
Yeah, just.... |
| 00:18:42 |
Feet in the stirrups here. |
| 00:18:45 |
Okay. |
| 00:18:51 |
Okay. |
| 00:18:55 |
Could you just.... Yeah. |
| 00:18:58 |
There. Okay. |
| 00:19:00 |
Good, okay. |
| 00:19:06 |
Okay. |
| 00:19:10 |
l've got to go get Susie. |
| 00:19:13 |
l've got to have a girl here, |
| 00:19:16 |
Don't move, l'll be right back. |
| 00:19:25 |
l wish l had given him an A. |
| 00:19:33 |
Two times one is two. |
| 00:19:37 |
Two times three is six. |
| 00:19:52 |
''Death be not proud |
| 00:19:55 |
''Though some have called thee |
| 00:19:58 |
''For, thou art not so |
| 00:20:02 |
''For, those whom thou think'st, |
| 00:20:07 |
''Die not, poor death |
| 00:20:10 |
''Nor yet canst thou kill me'' |
| 00:20:14 |
Has anybody seen Susie? |
| 00:20:23 |
''One short sleep past |
| 00:20:26 |
''We wake eternally |
| 00:20:28 |
''And death shall be no more,'' |
| 00:20:31 |
Comma. |
| 00:20:34 |
''Death thou shalt die'' |
| 00:20:40 |
Okay, here's everything. |
| 00:20:42 |
-Why did you leave her like this? |
| 00:20:46 |
We're ready, Prof. Bearing. |
| 00:20:47 |
Just get this on. |
| 00:20:54 |
All right. |
| 00:20:57 |
Just get this up. |
| 00:20:59 |
Just relax. |
| 00:21:05 |
Okay. |
| 00:21:06 |
lsn't that interesting, Susie, |
| 00:21:09 |
Yeah. l wish l had taken some literature. |
| 00:21:12 |
l don't know anything about poetry. |
| 00:21:13 |
Prof. Bearing was |
| 00:21:15 |
Her course looked very good |
| 00:21:18 |
They even asked me about it |
| 00:21:22 |
-Jesus. |
| 00:21:24 |
What? |
| 00:21:26 |
Yeah, l survived Bearing's course. |
| 00:21:29 |
Yeah, John Donne, |
| 00:21:31 |
That metaphysical wit. |
| 00:21:35 |
Like to see them try biochemistry. |
| 00:21:38 |
Okay. |
| 00:21:39 |
We're almost done, all right. Yeah, okay. |
| 00:21:45 |
That's it, we're done. |
| 00:21:49 |
l gotta go. |
| 00:21:51 |
Take her feet out. Yeah. |
| 00:22:10 |
Thank you. |
| 00:22:14 |
l'm just gonna.... |
| 00:22:40 |
That was... |
| 00:22:43 |
hard. |
| 00:22:46 |
That was.... |
| 00:22:52 |
One thing that can be said... |
| 00:22:54 |
for an eight-month course |
| 00:22:56 |
lt is highly educational. |
| 00:23:00 |
l am learning to suffer. |
| 00:23:04 |
Yes, it is mildly uncomfortable |
| 00:23:09 |
the agony of a colonoscopy |
| 00:23:15 |
Yes, it was embarrassing |
| 00:23:19 |
Two nightgowns. |
| 00:23:21 |
But that seemed like a positive privilege |
| 00:23:27 |
Yes, having a former student |
| 00:23:31 |
was thoroughly... |
| 00:23:34 |
degrading. |
| 00:23:36 |
And l use the term deliberately. |
| 00:23:39 |
But... |
| 00:23:41 |
l could not have imagined |
| 00:24:02 |
Oh, God. |
| 00:24:04 |
Please.... |
| 00:24:11 |
Steady. |
| 00:24:14 |
Steady. |
| 00:24:16 |
Oh, God. |
| 00:24:28 |
What's left? |
| 00:24:32 |
l haven't eaten in two days. |
| 00:24:35 |
What's left to puke? |
| 00:24:48 |
You may remark that my vocabulary |
| 00:24:55 |
God, l'm gonna barf my brains out. |
| 00:25:04 |
lf l did actually barf my brains out... |
| 00:25:10 |
it would be a great loss to my discipline. |
| 00:25:13 |
Of course, many of my colleagues |
| 00:25:15 |
to say nothing of my students. |
| 00:25:19 |
lt's not that l'm controversial. |
| 00:25:22 |
Just uncompromising. |
| 00:25:33 |
False alarm. |
| 00:25:41 |
lf the word went around that |
| 00:25:46 |
first my colleagues, |
| 00:25:50 |
would scramble madly for my position. |
| 00:25:53 |
And then their consciences would flare up. |
| 00:25:56 |
So to honor my memory, |
| 00:25:59 |
of their essays about John Donne. |
| 00:26:03 |
The volume would begin |
| 00:26:06 |
capturing my most endearing qualities. |
| 00:26:08 |
lt would be short but sweet. |
| 00:26:13 |
Published and perished. |
| 00:26:18 |
Now, watch this. |
| 00:26:22 |
l have to ring the bell. |
| 00:26:27 |
How you doing, Miss Bearing? |
| 00:26:30 |
-Yes. |
| 00:26:35 |
Someone has to come and |
| 00:26:39 |
and record it on a chart |
| 00:26:43 |
This counts as output. |
| 00:26:54 |
lt's about 300 ccs. |
| 00:26:58 |
ls that all? |
| 00:27:00 |
lt was very hard work. |
| 00:27:04 |
Yeah, it's 300. |
| 00:27:07 |
Good guess. |
| 00:27:10 |
Okay. |
| 00:27:12 |
There anything else l can get you? |
| 00:27:15 |
Thank you, no. |
| 00:27:20 |
-Are you okay all by yourself in here? |
| 00:27:24 |
Not having a lot of visitors, are you? |
| 00:27:27 |
None... |
| 00:27:29 |
to be precise. |
| 00:27:30 |
l didn't think so. |
| 00:27:33 |
ls there somebody you want me |
| 00:27:36 |
That won't be necessary. |
| 00:27:40 |
Okay. |
| 00:27:41 |
l'll tell you what. |
| 00:27:42 |
l'll come in every once in a while |
| 00:27:47 |
Make sure you're okay. |
| 00:27:51 |
Thank you. |
| 00:27:54 |
Okay. |
| 00:28:00 |
You just call. |
| 00:28:39 |
Do not forget... |
| 00:28:40 |
that you are seeing |
| 00:28:43 |
of my tenure as an in-patient |
| 00:28:48 |
for advanced metastatic ovarian cancer. |
| 00:28:52 |
But as l am a scholar l feel obliged... |
| 00:28:56 |
to document what it is like here |
| 00:28:59 |
between the dramatic climaxes. |
| 00:29:03 |
ln truth, it is like this.: |
| 00:29:08 |
You cannot imagine... |
| 00:29:10 |
how time can be so still. |
| 00:29:15 |
lt hangs. |
| 00:29:18 |
lt weighs. |
| 00:29:21 |
And yet there is so little of it. |
| 00:29:24 |
lt goes so slowly. |
| 00:29:27 |
And yet it is so scarce. |
| 00:29:32 |
lf l were writing this scene |
| 00:29:36 |
l would lie here and you would sit there. |
| 00:29:44 |
Not to worry: |
| 00:29:47 |
''Brevity is the soul of wit.'' |
| 00:29:52 |
But... |
| 00:29:53 |
if you think eight months of cancer |
| 00:29:58 |
consider how it feels to play my part. |
| 00:30:05 |
All right. |
| 00:30:07 |
Let's say it's Friday morning. |
| 00:30:10 |
''Grand rounds'' is what they call it. |
| 00:30:14 |
Action! |
| 00:30:18 |
-Dr. Bearing. |
| 00:30:21 |
How are you feeling today? |
| 00:30:23 |
-Fine. |
| 00:30:25 |
Very late detection, |
| 00:30:28 |
Hexamethophosphacil |
| 00:30:30 |
Hex at 300 milligrams per meter squared, |
| 00:30:35 |
Today is cycle four, day three. |
| 00:30:37 |
All cycles are at the full dose. |
| 00:30:39 |
Primary site is here, behind the left ovary. |
| 00:30:42 |
Metastases are suspected |
| 00:30:45 |
mainly in this area here. |
| 00:30:46 |
Full lymphatic involvement. |
| 00:30:49 |
a large part of the tumor was de-bulked... |
| 00:30:51 |
mainly in this area here. |
| 00:30:54 |
fallopian tubes, uterus, all out. |
| 00:30:57 |
Evidence of primary-site shrinkage. |
| 00:30:59 |
Shrinking in metastases |
| 00:31:01 |
Primary mass frankly palpable, |
| 00:31:05 |
all through here. |
| 00:31:07 |
Excellent command of details. Okay. |
| 00:31:11 |
Problem areas with Hex and Vin? |
| 00:31:13 |
-Myelosuppression-- |
| 00:31:14 |
lowering blood-cell counts. |
| 00:31:17 |
With this combination of agents, |
| 00:31:20 |
Anybody else? |
| 00:31:24 |
Side effects? |
| 00:31:26 |
Nausea, vomiting. |
| 00:31:28 |
-Jason? |
| 00:31:30 |
-Pain while urinating. |
| 00:31:32 |
-Psychological depression? |
| 00:31:34 |
Anything else? |
| 00:31:35 |
Other complaints with Hex and Vin? |
| 00:31:39 |
Come on. |
| 00:31:42 |
-Mouth sores? |
| 00:31:45 |
-Skin rash? |
| 00:31:48 |
Why do we waste our time, Dr. Bearing? |
| 00:31:50 |
l do not know, Dr. Kelekian. |
| 00:31:53 |
Use your eyes. |
| 00:31:59 |
Good grief. |
| 00:32:01 |
Hair loss. |
| 00:32:03 |
Come on! You can see that! |
| 00:32:06 |
Jason? |
| 00:32:08 |
Hair loss after first cycle of treatment. |
| 00:32:11 |
That's better. Dr. Bearing. |
| 00:32:15 |
Full dose? |
| 00:32:20 |
Good, excellent. Keep pushing the fluids. |
| 00:32:31 |
-Jason, clinical. |
| 00:32:34 |
Thank you, Prof. Bearing, |
| 00:32:42 |
Wasn't that grand? |
| 00:32:46 |
Full of subservience, hierarchies. |
| 00:32:50 |
Gratuitous displays, sublimated rivalries. |
| 00:32:54 |
l feel completely at home, |
| 00:32:58 |
With one important difference: |
| 00:33:01 |
ln grand rounds they read me like a book. |
| 00:33:04 |
Once l did the teaching... |
| 00:33:06 |
now l am taught. |
| 00:33:09 |
This is much easier, |
| 00:33:14 |
Jason was impressive, wasn't he? |
| 00:33:18 |
l taught him, you know. |
| 00:33:22 |
Nephrotoxicity, |
| 00:33:26 |
They are medical terms. |
| 00:33:27 |
l looked them up. lt has always been |
| 00:33:34 |
l can recall the time... |
| 00:33:37 |
the very hour... |
| 00:33:39 |
of the very day... |
| 00:33:41 |
when l knew words |
| 00:33:45 |
l like that one best. |
| 00:33:49 |
Read another. |
| 00:33:52 |
l think l'll read... |
| 00:33:54 |
The Tale of the Flopsy Bunnies. |
| 00:34:01 |
lt has little bunnies on the front. |
| 00:34:11 |
''The Tale of the Flopsy Bunnies... |
| 00:34:15 |
''by Beatix Potter.'' |
| 00:34:23 |
''lt is said that the effect... |
| 00:34:29 |
''of eating too much lettuce... |
| 00:34:33 |
''is....'' |
| 00:34:38 |
What is this word? |
| 00:34:41 |
Say it in bits. |
| 00:34:48 |
''So-por-i-fic.'' |
| 00:34:51 |
What does that mean? |
| 00:34:53 |
Soporific? Causing sleep. |
| 00:34:57 |
-Causing sleep. |
| 00:35:01 |
-''So-por-fic'' means ''makes you sleepy.'' |
| 00:35:08 |
Now, use it in a sentence. |
| 00:35:11 |
What has a soporific effect on you? |
| 00:35:14 |
What has a soporific effect on me? |
| 00:35:18 |
What makes you sleepy? |
| 00:35:23 |
Nothing. |
| 00:35:26 |
That's right. |
| 00:35:30 |
What about you? |
| 00:35:32 |
What has a soporific effect on me? |
| 00:35:35 |
Let me think. |
| 00:35:37 |
Boring conversation, |
| 00:35:40 |
Me too. Boring conversation. |
| 00:35:43 |
Good, excellent. Carry on. |
| 00:35:50 |
''lt is said that the effect |
| 00:35:54 |
''is soporific.'' |
| 00:35:58 |
The bunnies in the picture are sleeping. |
| 00:36:00 |
They're sleeping like you said, |
| 00:36:06 |
The illustration bore out |
| 00:36:09 |
just as he had explained it. |
| 00:36:12 |
At the time it seemed like magic. |
| 00:36:16 |
So... |
| 00:36:18 |
imagine the effect the words |
| 00:36:22 |
Ratiocination, concatenation. |
| 00:36:24 |
Coruscation. Tergiversation. |
| 00:36:29 |
Medical terms are less evocative. |
| 00:36:34 |
Still... |
| 00:36:35 |
l want to know what the doctors mean |
| 00:36:40 |
My only defense is |
| 00:36:54 |
-Fever and neutropenia. |
| 00:36:58 |
l was at home reading. |
| 00:37:04 |
Fever and neutropenia. |
| 00:37:06 |
You did the right thing. |
| 00:37:08 |
l took a taxi. |
| 00:37:12 |
Can you walk? |
| 00:37:17 |
Okay, just sit here a minute. |
| 00:37:18 |
l'll get Jason, he's on call tonight |
| 00:37:23 |
Glad l was here tonight. |
| 00:37:25 |
l'm gonna get you to a bed soon, okay? |
| 00:37:31 |
l'm gonna get you some nice juice |
| 00:37:35 |
Lights. l left all the lights on at my house. |
| 00:37:38 |
Don't worry about it. lt'll be okay. |
| 00:37:53 |
Prof. Bearing, how you feeling? |
| 00:37:56 |
My teeth are chattering. |
| 00:37:57 |
-Vitals? |
| 00:38:02 |
Fever and neutropenia, |
| 00:38:05 |
Blood culture and urine, stat. Admit her. |
| 00:38:10 |
Start with acetaminophen. |
| 00:38:18 |
You'd better talk to Kelekian |
| 00:38:23 |
lt's too much for her. |
| 00:38:24 |
No way, she's tough, she can take it. |
| 00:38:26 |
Full dose. Wake me when |
| 00:38:57 |
Good morning, Dr. Bearing. |
| 00:38:59 |
Full dose? |
| 00:39:01 |
Definite progress, everything okay? |
| 00:39:04 |
Yes. |
| 00:39:06 |
You're doing swell. |
| 00:39:08 |
lsolation's no problem, a couple of days. |
| 00:39:23 |
-Jason! |
| 00:39:33 |
ln isolation... |
| 00:39:37 |
l am isolated. |
| 00:39:40 |
For once l can use a term literally. |
| 00:39:44 |
The chemotherapeutic agents |
| 00:39:48 |
have also eradicated my immune system. |
| 00:39:53 |
ln my present condition... |
| 00:39:56 |
every living thing |
| 00:40:02 |
l really have not got time for this. |
| 00:40:05 |
Particularly health-care professionals. |
| 00:40:08 |
Just to check the l and O sheet |
| 00:40:14 |
5, 7, 1 1 . 250 twice. Okay. |
| 00:40:25 |
Prof. Bearing, how are you feeling today? |
| 00:40:27 |
Fine, just shaking sometimes |
| 00:40:31 |
lV should kick in anytime now, |
| 00:40:34 |
Listen, l gotta go. |
| 00:40:48 |
l am not in isolation |
| 00:40:53 |
Because... |
| 00:40:55 |
l have a tumor the size of a grapefruit. |
| 00:40:59 |
No... |
| 00:41:02 |
l am in isolation... |
| 00:41:04 |
because l am being treated for cancer. |
| 00:41:11 |
My treatment imperils my health. |
| 00:41:16 |
Herein lies the paradox. |
| 00:41:20 |
John Donne would revel in it. |
| 00:41:25 |
l would revel in it, |
| 00:41:31 |
My students would flounder in it... |
| 00:41:36 |
because paradox is |
| 00:41:45 |
''Think of it as a puzzle...'' |
| 00:41:49 |
l would tell them, ''an intellectual game.'' |
| 00:41:58 |
Or l would have told them... |
| 00:42:03 |
were it a game. |
| 00:42:07 |
Which it is not. |
| 00:42:22 |
''...threw death on else immortal us |
| 00:42:27 |
''lf lecherous goats, if serpents envious |
| 00:42:31 |
''Cannot be damned |
| 00:42:33 |
''Alas, why should l be? |
| 00:42:35 |
''Why should intent or reason, born in me |
| 00:42:39 |
''Make sins, else equal, |
| 00:42:44 |
''And mercy being easy, |
| 00:42:46 |
''in his stern wrath, why threatens he? |
| 00:42:52 |
''But who am l, |
| 00:42:58 |
''O God. Oh! of thine only worthy blood, |
| 00:43:04 |
''make a heavenly Lethean flood |
| 00:43:06 |
''And drown in it my sin's black memory |
| 00:43:10 |
''That thou remember them, |
| 00:43:14 |
''l think it mercy, if thou wilt forget'' |
| 00:43:21 |
A typical prayer would plead, |
| 00:43:25 |
True believers ask to be |
| 00:43:27 |
The speaker of this sonnet |
| 00:43:30 |
We want to correct the speaker. |
| 00:43:36 |
To remind him of |
| 00:43:38 |
But it's too late, |
| 00:43:40 |
We are left to our own consciences. |
| 00:43:42 |
-Have we outwitted Donne? |
| 00:43:47 |
Or, have we been outwitted? |
| 00:43:54 |
What is it? |
| 00:43:56 |
You have to go down for a test. |
| 00:43:58 |
Another ultrasound. |
| 00:44:00 |
They're concerned |
| 00:44:02 |
-No, not now. |
| 00:44:06 |
Not right now, |
| 00:44:08 |
They want to do it now, l've got the chair. |
| 00:44:11 |
lt should not be now, l.... |
| 00:44:14 |
l have this planned for now, |
| 00:44:17 |
-No more tests, we've covered that. |
| 00:44:19 |
But they need for it to be now. |
| 00:44:21 |
lt isn't a bad procedure and it won't take |
| 00:44:25 |
l do not want to go now. |
| 00:45:03 |
Name? |
| 00:45:06 |
B-E-A-R-l-N-G. |
| 00:45:08 |
Kelekian. |
| 00:45:10 |
lt'll just be a minute. |
| 00:45:14 |
-Time for your break? |
| 00:45:17 |
Take a break. |
| 00:45:34 |
''This is my play's last scene |
| 00:45:39 |
''Here |
| 00:45:40 |
''Heavens appoint |
| 00:45:46 |
''And my race |
| 00:45:48 |
''ldly, yet quickly run |
| 00:45:53 |
''Hath this last pace |
| 00:45:58 |
''My span's last inch |
| 00:46:02 |
''My minute's last point |
| 00:46:06 |
''And gluttonous death |
| 00:46:08 |
''Will instantly unjoint my body and soul'' |
| 00:46:16 |
John Donne... |
| 00:46:18 |
1609. |
| 00:46:22 |
l've always particularly liked that poem. |
| 00:46:28 |
ln the abstract. |
| 00:46:32 |
Now l find the image of... |
| 00:46:35 |
my minute's last point... |
| 00:46:38 |
a little too, shall we say... |
| 00:46:41 |
pointed. |
| 00:46:45 |
l don't mean to complain |
| 00:46:49 |
Very sick. Ultimately sick, as it were. |
| 00:46:57 |
ln everything l have done, l have been... |
| 00:47:03 |
steadfast. |
| 00:47:05 |
Resolute. |
| 00:47:08 |
Some would say in the extreme. |
| 00:47:13 |
Now, as you can see, l am... |
| 00:47:16 |
distinguishing myself in illness. |
| 00:47:22 |
l have survived eight treatments... |
| 00:47:25 |
of Hexamethophosphacil and Vinplatin... |
| 00:47:28 |
at the full dose, ladies and gentlemen. |
| 00:47:33 |
l have broken the record. |
| 00:47:38 |
l have become something of a celebrity. |
| 00:47:43 |
Kelekian and Jason are simply delighted. |
| 00:47:49 |
l think... |
| 00:47:51 |
they see celebrity status for themselves... |
| 00:47:55 |
upon the appearance |
| 00:47:57 |
they will no doubt write about me. |
| 00:48:03 |
But l flatter myself. |
| 00:48:06 |
The article will not be about me... |
| 00:48:09 |
it will be about my ovaries. lt will... |
| 00:48:12 |
be about my peritoneal cavity. |
| 00:48:17 |
Which, despite their best intentions, |
| 00:48:25 |
What we have come to think of as me... |
| 00:48:29 |
is, in fact, just the specimen jar. |
| 00:48:34 |
Just the dust jacket. |
| 00:48:37 |
Just the white piece of paper... |
| 00:48:39 |
that bears the little black marks. |
| 00:48:48 |
My next line is supposed to be |
| 00:48:53 |
''lt is such a relief... |
| 00:48:54 |
''to get back to my room |
| 00:49:00 |
This is hardly true. |
| 00:49:03 |
lt would be a relief to be a cheerleader... |
| 00:49:07 |
on her way to Daytona Beach |
| 00:49:13 |
To get back to my room |
| 00:49:16 |
is just the next thing that happens. |
| 00:49:22 |
Oh, God. |
| 00:49:25 |
lt is such a relief to get back |
| 00:49:29 |
after those goddamn tests. |
| 00:49:40 |
Professor Bearing? |
| 00:49:49 |
450. |
| 00:49:51 |
6-5. |
| 00:49:53 |
Okay. How you feeling today? |
| 00:49:57 |
-Fine. |
| 00:50:01 |
How are my fluids? |
| 00:50:03 |
Pretty good. No kidney involvement yet. |
| 00:50:07 |
How will you know when |
| 00:50:10 |
-Lots of in, not much out. |
| 00:50:14 |
No way. |
| 00:50:16 |
Compromised kidney function is |
| 00:50:19 |
-l'm simplifying it for you. |
| 00:50:22 |
-We're supposed to. |
| 00:50:24 |
There's a whole course on it |
| 00:50:27 |
-Colossal waste of time for researchers. |
| 00:50:32 |
Jason? |
| 00:50:34 |
-What were you saying just then? |
| 00:50:40 |
Never mind. |
| 00:50:42 |
Professor Bearing, |
| 00:50:45 |
-Short-term memory loss? |
| 00:50:47 |
-You sure? |
| 00:50:49 |
Okay. |
| 00:50:51 |
No, l was just wondering... |
| 00:50:56 |
why cancer? |
| 00:50:57 |
Why cancer? |
| 00:50:59 |
Why not open-heart surgery? |
| 00:51:02 |
Yeah. |
| 00:51:05 |
Why not plumbing? |
| 00:51:07 |
Why not run a lube rack |
| 00:51:10 |
Homo sapiens sapiens? |
| 00:51:12 |
No way. |
| 00:51:16 |
No, really, cancer is.... |
| 00:51:21 |
Awesome? |
| 00:51:22 |
Yeah. |
| 00:51:23 |
lt is awesome. How does it do it? |
| 00:51:27 |
The intercellular regulatory mechanisms... |
| 00:51:29 |
especially for proliferation |
| 00:51:32 |
-The malignant neoplasia just don't get it. |
| 00:51:36 |
Yes, that's right. |
| 00:51:38 |
You grow normal cells |
| 00:51:40 |
and they replicate enough |
| 00:51:43 |
and then divide 20 or 50 times, |
| 00:51:47 |
You grow cancer cells |
| 00:51:51 |
No contact inhibition whatsoever, |
| 00:51:54 |
They keep replicating forever. |
| 00:51:57 |
lt's got a great name. |
| 00:52:00 |
-No, what? |
| 00:52:03 |
That sounds like a symposium. |
| 00:52:05 |
lt's an error in judgment, |
| 00:52:09 |
But why? |
| 00:52:10 |
Even on a protistic level |
| 00:52:14 |
are so subtle, |
| 00:52:17 |
lt's incredible, it's perfect. |
| 00:52:20 |
What's up with cancer cells? |
| 00:52:23 |
the best labs, funding.... |
| 00:52:26 |
They don't know what to make of it. |
| 00:52:28 |
-What about you? |
| 00:52:31 |
l've got some things l'm kicking around. |
| 00:52:33 |
Wait till l get a lab of my own, |
| 00:52:37 |
The part with the human beings. |
| 00:52:39 |
Everybody has to do it, |
| 00:52:42 |
They want us to converse |
| 00:52:44 |
as if researchers were the impediment. |
| 00:52:47 |
Clinicians are such troglodytes. |
| 00:52:51 |
Are you going to be sorry when.... |
| 00:52:57 |
Do you ever miss people? |
| 00:53:00 |
Everybody asks that, especially girls. |
| 00:53:03 |
What do you tell them? |
| 00:53:05 |
-l tell them, ''Yes.'' |
| 00:53:07 |
-Some. |
| 00:53:13 |
And what do you say when a patient is... |
| 00:53:16 |
apprehensive, frightened? |
| 00:53:18 |
Of who? |
| 00:53:23 |
l just.... |
| 00:53:26 |
Never mind. |
| 00:53:29 |
Who's the President of the United States? |
| 00:53:31 |
l'm fine. Really, it's all right. |
| 00:53:34 |
-You sure? l could order a test-- |
| 00:53:39 |
l'm fine. Just a little tired. |
| 00:53:42 |
Okay. |
| 00:53:44 |
l gotta go. |
| 00:53:45 |
Keep pushing the fluids, |
| 00:53:47 |
Okay. |
| 00:53:51 |
To use your word: |
| 00:53:55 |
''Okay.'' |
| 00:54:08 |
So.... |
| 00:54:11 |
The young doctor, like the senior scholar... |
| 00:54:16 |
prefers research to humanity. |
| 00:54:21 |
At the same time... |
| 00:54:22 |
the senior scholar, |
| 00:54:27 |
wishes the young doctor would take |
| 00:54:33 |
Now, l suppose we shall see |
| 00:54:36 |
ruthlessly denied |
| 00:54:40 |
the touch of human kindness |
| 00:54:48 |
How, then... |
| 00:54:50 |
would you characterize...You! |
| 00:54:55 |
How would you characterize |
| 00:55:01 |
ln this sonnet, what is the.... |
| 00:55:04 |
What is the principal poetic device? |
| 00:55:06 |
lt has nothing to do with football. |
| 00:55:08 |
What propels this sonnet? |
| 00:55:14 |
You can come to this class prepared, |
| 00:55:18 |
this department, and this university. |
| 00:55:21 |
Do not think for a moment |
| 00:55:29 |
Did l say: |
| 00:55:31 |
''You are 19 years old. You are so young. |
| 00:55:36 |
''You don't know a sonnet |
| 00:55:42 |
By no means. |
| 00:55:45 |
To scan the line properly... |
| 00:55:47 |
we must take advantage |
| 00:55:50 |
in ''i-o-n'' endings, as in ''expansion.'' |
| 00:55:55 |
The quatrain stands: |
| 00:55:58 |
''Our two souls therefore, which are one |
| 00:56:02 |
''Though l must go, |
| 00:56:07 |
''But an expansion |
| 00:56:10 |
''Like gold to aery thinness beat'' |
| 00:56:15 |
Bear this in mind in your reading. |
| 00:56:18 |
That's all for today. |
| 00:56:33 |
Prof. Bearing? |
| 00:56:35 |
You may. |
| 00:56:37 |
l need to ask for an extension |
| 00:56:40 |
-l'm sorry, l know your policy, but-- |
| 00:56:45 |
-You knew? |
| 00:56:47 |
l have to go home. |
| 00:56:49 |
Do what you will, |
| 00:57:05 |
l don't know.... |
| 00:57:09 |
l feel so much.... |
| 00:57:15 |
What is the word? |
| 00:57:16 |
l look back and l see these scenes and l.... |
| 00:58:04 |
Miss Bearing, |
| 00:58:12 |
Did that wake you? |
| 00:58:14 |
Sorry, it just gets occluded sometimes. |
| 00:58:17 |
-l was awake. |
| 00:58:21 |
What's the trouble, sweetheart? |
| 00:58:23 |
l don't know. |
| 00:58:26 |
Can't sleep? |
| 00:58:28 |
No... |
| 00:58:30 |
l just keep thinking. |
| 00:58:32 |
lf you do that too much |
| 00:58:34 |
l know. |
| 00:58:37 |
l can't seem to figure things out. |
| 00:58:42 |
l'm in a quandary. Having... |
| 00:58:47 |
these doubts. |
| 00:58:49 |
What you're doing is very hard. |
| 00:58:53 |
-Hard things are what l like best. |
| 00:58:57 |
-lt's like it's out of control, isn't it? |
| 00:59:03 |
l'm scared. |
| 00:59:06 |
Honey, of course you are. |
| 00:59:12 |
l'm worked up.... |
| 00:59:14 |
l don't feel so sure of myself anymore. |
| 00:59:18 |
And you used to feel sure, didn't you? |
| 00:59:20 |
Yes, yes, and l used to feel sure. |
| 00:59:24 |
lt's okay. lt's all right. |
| 00:59:28 |
And it hurts, l know. |
| 00:59:31 |
lt's all right. |
| 00:59:40 |
There you go. |
| 00:59:42 |
lt's all right. |
| 00:59:45 |
lt's okay, it's all right. |
| 00:59:49 |
Vivian? You want a popsicle? |
| 00:59:53 |
-Yes, please. |
| 00:59:55 |
l'm gonna go get one. |
| 01:00:03 |
The epithelial cells... |
| 01:00:06 |
in my Gl tract... |
| 01:00:09 |
have been killed by the chemo. |
| 01:00:12 |
The cold popsicle feels good. |
| 01:00:16 |
lt's something l can digest |
| 01:00:20 |
For your information. |
| 01:00:26 |
Here you go. |
| 01:00:33 |
-Here. |
| 01:00:37 |
-Thanks. |
| 01:00:56 |
When l was a kid we used to |
| 01:00:59 |
A man would come around |
| 01:01:02 |
and we'd all go running over. |
| 01:01:04 |
And then we'd sit on the curb |
| 01:01:09 |
That's pretty profound, huh? |
| 01:01:12 |
Sounds nice. |
| 01:01:18 |
There's something we need to talk about. |
| 01:01:22 |
That you need to think about. |
| 01:01:28 |
My cancer's not being cured, is it? |
| 01:01:32 |
No. |
| 01:01:36 |
They never expected it to be, did they? |
| 01:01:40 |
They thought the drugs |
| 01:01:44 |
And it has, it's gotten a lot smaller. |
| 01:01:48 |
But the problem is, |
| 01:01:52 |
They've learned a lot for their research |
| 01:01:55 |
it was the strongest drugs. |
| 01:01:59 |
There really isn't a good cure |
| 01:02:03 |
For advanced ovarian. |
| 01:02:08 |
l'm sorry, |
| 01:02:12 |
l knew. |
| 01:02:16 |
You did? |
| 01:02:19 |
l read between the lines. |
| 01:02:31 |
What you need to think about |
| 01:02:35 |
What you want them to do... |
| 01:02:38 |
if your heart stops beating. |
| 01:02:42 |
Well? |
| 01:02:45 |
You can be full code |
| 01:02:49 |
we'll call a code blue and the code team |
| 01:02:54 |
and take you to intensive care |
| 01:02:57 |
Or, you can be: |
| 01:03:00 |
''Do not resuscitate.'' |
| 01:03:02 |
Which means that if your heart stops... |
| 01:03:07 |
we'll just let it. |
| 01:03:09 |
You'll be DNR. |
| 01:03:13 |
Now, you can think about it. But l just.... |
| 01:03:16 |
l just wanted to present you |
| 01:03:20 |
before Kelekian and Jason |
| 01:03:27 |
-They don't agree about this? |
| 01:03:31 |
So anything's okay as long |
| 01:03:35 |
Doesn't matter |
| 01:03:40 |
Kelekian's a great researcher, he is... |
| 01:03:42 |
and the Fellows like Jason, |
| 01:03:46 |
lt's an honor for them |
| 01:03:50 |
But they always want to know |
| 01:03:55 |
l always want to know more things. |
| 01:03:59 |
l'm a scholar. |
| 01:04:03 |
Or l was... |
| 01:04:06 |
when l had shoes. |
| 01:04:09 |
When l had eyebrows. |
| 01:04:13 |
Okay, that's fine. You'll be full code. |
| 01:04:21 |
No. |
| 01:04:23 |
Don't complicate the matter. |
| 01:04:25 |
No, really, it's fine. lt's up to you. |
| 01:04:30 |
Just let it stop. |
| 01:04:33 |
Really? |
| 01:04:36 |
Yes. |
| 01:04:38 |
So, if your heart stops beating.... |
| 01:04:43 |
Just let it stop. |
| 01:04:49 |
You sure? |
| 01:04:53 |
Yes. |
| 01:04:57 |
Okay. |
| 01:04:59 |
Okay, l'll get Kelekian to give the order, |
| 01:05:02 |
Susie? |
| 01:05:08 |
You're still going to take care of me, |
| 01:05:12 |
Of course l am. |
| 01:05:14 |
Don't you worry, sweetheart. |
| 01:05:32 |
Okay. |
| 01:05:42 |
Thank you. |
| 01:06:12 |
That certainly was a maudlin display. |
| 01:06:16 |
Popsicles, ''Sweetheart.'' |
| 01:06:20 |
l can't believe my life |
| 01:06:25 |
But it can't be helped, |
| 01:06:29 |
We are discussing life and death, and... |
| 01:06:33 |
not in the abstract, either. |
| 01:06:39 |
And l can't conceive of any other tone. |
| 01:06:45 |
Now is not the time for verbal swordplay. |
| 01:06:49 |
Nothing would be worse |
| 01:06:54 |
erudition, interpretation, complication. |
| 01:06:59 |
No. |
| 01:07:01 |
Now is the time for simplicity. |
| 01:07:05 |
Now is the time for... |
| 01:07:08 |
dare l say it... |
| 01:07:11 |
kindness. |
| 01:07:17 |
And l thought being extremely smart... |
| 01:07:21 |
would take care of it. |
| 01:07:25 |
But l see that l have been found out. |
| 01:07:39 |
l'm scared. |
| 01:07:44 |
Oh, God. |
| 01:07:48 |
l want.... |
| 01:07:51 |
l want to.... |
| 01:07:55 |
No. |
| 01:07:59 |
l want to hide. |
| 01:08:36 |
l want to tell you... |
| 01:08:40 |
how it feels. |
| 01:08:44 |
l want to explain it. |
| 01:08:49 |
To use my words. |
| 01:08:53 |
lt's just as if l can't. |
| 01:09:01 |
There aren't.... |
| 01:09:09 |
l'm in terrible pain. |
| 01:09:14 |
Susie says... |
| 01:09:21 |
l need to be |
| 01:09:27 |
if l'm going to stand it. |
| 01:09:32 |
''lt.'' |
| 01:09:35 |
Such a little word. |
| 01:09:40 |
l think in this case... |
| 01:09:44 |
''it''... |
| 01:09:46 |
signifies being alive. |
| 01:09:55 |
Okay. |
| 01:09:59 |
We've located Dr. Kelekian |
| 01:10:02 |
and we'll get you some meds. |
| 01:10:04 |
God, it's so painful. |
| 01:10:06 |
So much pain. |
| 01:10:08 |
l know. Just try and relax |
| 01:10:11 |
We'll get you patient-controlled analgesic. |
| 01:10:13 |
lt's a little pump |
| 01:10:16 |
and you decide how much |
| 01:10:19 |
lt's very simple and it's all up to you. |
| 01:10:21 |
Okay. |
| 01:10:24 |
Dr. Bearing. Susie. |
| 01:10:26 |
lt's time for patient-controlled analgesic. |
| 01:10:29 |
Dr. Bearing, are you in pain? |
| 01:10:32 |
l don't believe this. |
| 01:10:35 |
Get a morphine drip. |
| 01:10:37 |
What about patient-controlled? |
| 01:10:39 |
Ordinarily yes. ln her case, no. |
| 01:10:41 |
-But l think she would really rather-- |
| 01:10:46 |
Morphine. 10 push now |
| 01:10:49 |
Dr. Bearing, try to relax, |
| 01:10:52 |
Don't worry. |
| 01:10:57 |
Excellent. |
| 01:11:46 |
Hi. |
| 01:11:48 |
How are you feeling today? |
| 01:11:52 |
These are my last coherent lines. |
| 01:11:57 |
l'll have to... |
| 01:12:00 |
leave the action to the professionals. |
| 01:12:07 |
lt came so quickly, after taking so long. |
| 01:12:14 |
There's not even time |
| 01:12:26 |
l trust this will have a soporific effect? |
| 01:12:30 |
l don't know about that, |
| 01:12:39 |
What's so funny? |
| 01:12:44 |
What? |
| 01:12:50 |
lt's just.... |
| 01:12:53 |
lt's that ''soporific'' means... |
| 01:12:56 |
''makes you sleepy.'' |
| 01:13:00 |
lt does? |
| 01:13:04 |
That was sort of dumb. |
| 01:13:06 |
No, it was funny. |
| 01:13:10 |
Yeah? ln a dumb sort of way. |
| 01:13:22 |
l'm glad you explained it to me. |
| 01:13:26 |
l never would've thought of that. |
| 01:13:31 |
l'm a teacher. |
| 01:14:19 |
Yeah, she was a great scholar. |
| 01:14:24 |
She was the head of everything. |
| 01:14:26 |
People used to hug the walls |
| 01:14:34 |
275, 520. Let's up the hydration. |
| 01:14:38 |
She won't be drinking anymore, see if |
| 01:14:42 |
l had a lot of respect for her. |
| 01:14:43 |
More than l can say |
| 01:14:46 |
-What do you want, dextrose? |
| 01:14:50 |
She gave a hell of a lecture. |
| 01:14:54 |
lt was impressive. |
| 01:14:56 |
-Why? |
| 01:14:59 |
She hasn't exactly been |
| 01:15:02 |
Miss Bearing, Jason and l are here, |
| 01:15:06 |
-lt won't hurt, so don't worry. |
| 01:15:09 |
-lt's just nice to do. |
| 01:15:12 |
Kelekian didn't think it was possible. |
| 01:15:15 |
l wish they'd all go full throttle, |
| 01:15:17 |
She's not what l imagined. |
| 01:15:19 |
l thought someone who studied poetry |
| 01:15:22 |
Not the way she did it. |
| 01:15:23 |
Her course was more like |
| 01:15:26 |
John Donne was incredibly intense. |
| 01:15:28 |
Your whole brain |
| 01:15:31 |
-He made it hard on purpose? |
| 01:15:34 |
The Holy Sonnets we worked on mostly |
| 01:15:37 |
That's a term l made up |
| 01:15:39 |
but l think it fits pretty well. |
| 01:15:41 |
He's this brilliant guy, l mean brilliant. |
| 01:15:43 |
He makes Shakespeare |
| 01:15:46 |
And you know you're a sinner. |
| 01:15:47 |
There's a promise of salvation, |
| 01:15:50 |
But you can't deal with it. |
| 01:15:51 |
-How come? |
| 01:15:54 |
But you can't face life without it, |
| 01:15:58 |
Like a game to make |
| 01:16:00 |
What happens in the end? |
| 01:16:02 |
-The end of what? |
| 01:16:05 |
-Get what? |
| 01:16:07 |
-Does he ever understand? |
| 01:16:09 |
The puzzle takes over. |
| 01:16:13 |
Fascinating, really. |
| 01:16:17 |
Looking at increasing levels of complexity. |
| 01:16:19 |
-Until what? |
| 01:16:21 |
Do you ever get to solve the puzzle? |
| 01:16:23 |
No. When it comes down to it, |
| 01:16:27 |
the complications of the puzzle. |
| 01:16:28 |
-You help people, you save lives and stuff. |
| 01:16:32 |
and the poor slob goes out |
| 01:16:35 |
Yeah, l guess so. |
| 01:16:39 |
l guess you can tell |
| 01:16:42 |
lf there's one thing |
| 01:16:45 |
you can forget all about |
| 01:16:48 |
Enzyme kinetics was more poetic |
| 01:16:50 |
Besides, you can't just go around... |
| 01:16:53 |
thinking about that meaning-of-life stuff |
| 01:16:56 |
-Do you believe in it? |
| 01:16:59 |
l don't know, the meaning-of-life stuff. |
| 01:17:03 |
What do they teach you at nursing school? |
| 01:17:11 |
She's out of it. Shouldn't be too long. |
| 01:17:17 |
-You done here? |
| 01:17:28 |
-See ya. |
| 01:19:29 |
lt's Evelyn. |
| 01:19:41 |
Oh, God. |
| 01:19:47 |
Prof. Ashford? |
| 01:19:50 |
Oh, God. |
| 01:19:53 |
l'm in town visiting my great-grandson... |
| 01:19:58 |
who is celebrating his fifth birthday. |
| 01:20:02 |
l went to see you in your office... |
| 01:20:05 |
and they directed me here. |
| 01:20:11 |
l've been walking all over town. |
| 01:20:14 |
l'd forgotten how early it gets chilly here. |
| 01:20:22 |
l feel so bad. |
| 01:20:27 |
Yes, l know you do. |
| 01:20:30 |
l can see. |
| 01:20:34 |
Oh, dear. |
| 01:20:37 |
There, there. |
| 01:20:40 |
There, there. |
| 01:21:27 |
There, there, Vivian. |
| 01:21:35 |
lt's a windy day. |
| 01:21:40 |
Don't worry, dear. |
| 01:21:46 |
Let's see. |
| 01:21:47 |
Shall l recite something to you? |
| 01:21:51 |
l'll recite something by Donne. |
| 01:21:55 |
No. |
| 01:21:59 |
Very well. |
| 01:22:11 |
Let's see.... |
| 01:22:19 |
''The Runaway Bunny, |
| 01:22:23 |
''Pictures by Clement Hurd. |
| 01:22:26 |
''Copyright, 1942. |
| 01:22:30 |
''First Harper Trophy edition, 1972. |
| 01:22:39 |
''Once there was a little bunny |
| 01:22:42 |
''so he said to his mother, |
| 01:22:46 |
'''lf you run away,' said his mother... |
| 01:22:49 |
'''l will run after you. |
| 01:22:51 |
'''For you are my little bunny.' |
| 01:22:56 |
'''lf you run after me,' |
| 01:22:59 |
'''l will become a fish in a trout stream... |
| 01:23:02 |
'''and l will swim away from you.' |
| 01:23:05 |
'''lf you become a fish in a trout stream,' |
| 01:23:09 |
'''l will become a fisherman, |
| 01:23:13 |
Look at that. |
| 01:23:16 |
A little allegory of the soul. |
| 01:23:19 |
Wherever it hides, God will find it. |
| 01:23:23 |
See, Vivian? |
| 01:23:29 |
'''lf you become a fisherman,' |
| 01:23:32 |
'''l will be a bird and fly away from you.' |
| 01:23:36 |
'''lf you become a bird |
| 01:23:40 |
'''l will be a tree |
| 01:23:46 |
Very clever. |
| 01:23:52 |
'''Shucks,' said the little bunny. |
| 01:23:55 |
'''l might just as well stay where l am... |
| 01:23:58 |
'''and be your little bunny.' |
| 01:24:01 |
''And so he did. |
| 01:24:04 |
'''Have a carrot,' said the mother bunny.'' |
| 01:24:12 |
Wonderful. |
| 01:24:20 |
Time to go. |
| 01:24:53 |
''And flights of angels |
| 01:26:07 |
Prof. Bearing, how you feeling today? |
| 01:26:11 |
3:00 p.m., lV hydration totals: |
| 01:26:14 |
2,000 in, 30 out. That's it... |
| 01:26:18 |
kidneys gone. |
| 01:26:23 |
''Highly unresponsive.'' |
| 01:26:33 |
Wait a second. |
| 01:26:41 |
Four-five-seven-five. |
| 01:26:43 |
Code blue, room 707. |
| 01:26:46 |
Dr. Posner, P-O-S-N-E-R. Hurry up. |
| 01:27:15 |
One, two, three, four, |
| 01:27:18 |
ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, |
| 01:27:22 |
-What are you doing? |
| 01:27:24 |
-She's DNR! |
| 01:27:25 |
She's no code! |
| 01:27:27 |
She's no code! |
| 01:27:28 |
Kelekian gave the order |
| 01:27:32 |
God, the code. |
| 01:27:35 |
Cancel code, Room 707. |
| 01:27:37 |
Sue Monahan, primary nurse. |
| 01:27:39 |
l got it. |
| 01:27:40 |
No, the patient is no code. She's DNR! |
| 01:27:43 |
-The patient is DNR! |
| 01:27:46 |
Listen, she's ''do not resuscitate''! |
| 01:27:49 |
The patient is no code! |
| 01:27:51 |
The patient is no code, |
| 01:27:55 |
Stop it! |
| 01:28:02 |
Do not resuscitate! |
| 01:28:03 |
Move out of the way, go! |
| 01:28:07 |
Clear. |
| 01:28:08 |
-l made a mistake! |
| 01:28:14 |
-Who the hell are you? |
| 01:28:16 |
Let me see the goddamn chart. |
| 01:28:20 |
The patient is no code. |
| 01:28:23 |
''Do not resuscitate. Kelekian.'' |
| 01:28:25 |
The order was put in yesterday. |
| 01:28:27 |
-lt's a doctor screw-up. |
| 01:28:29 |
Got us up here on a DNR. |
| 01:28:33 |
Called a code on a no-code. |
| 01:29:19 |
''Death |
| 01:29:20 |
''Be not proud |
| 01:29:23 |
''Though some have called thee |
| 01:29:27 |
''For thou art not so |
| 01:29:33 |
''For those whom thou think'st, |
| 01:29:38 |
''Die not, poor death |
| 01:29:40 |
''Nor yet canst thou kill me |
| 01:29:44 |
''Thou art slave to Fate |
| 01:29:48 |
''Chance, kings, and desperate men |
| 01:29:53 |
''And dost with poison, |
| 01:29:59 |
''And poppy or charms |
| 01:30:03 |
''And better than thy stroke |
| 01:30:07 |
''Why swell'st thou then? |
| 01:30:11 |
''One short sleep past |
| 01:30:14 |
''We wake eternally |
| 01:30:17 |
''And death shall be no more, '' |
| 01:30:20 |
Comma. |
| 01:30:23 |
''Death thou shalt die'' |
| 01:34:56 |
by 6o6 |
