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Without a Paddle en
00:01:02	- Ghostbusters!
00:02:29	Yeah!
00:02:31	We did it, man!
00:02:34	- Be seeing you.
00:02:37	- Have a great trip.
00:02:39	When I'm done with probation,
00:02:41	I know you will.
00:02:45	All right, I'm out of here.
00:02:49	One last thing.
00:02:51	- Remember this?
00:02:53	- In case you get lost.
00:02:55	- And you will get lost.
00:02:57	But it's half the fun.
00:02:58	- Thanks, man.
00:03:02	- Take care of those two fools.
00:03:04	I will.
00:03:06	Catch you around, boys!
00:03:11	Bye, Billy!
00:03:16	I wonder where he's gonna end up.
00:03:18	He's gonna do great things.
00:03:20	Don't worry. We're all gonna do
00:03:28	- Are you ready for Tom?
00:03:31	- Let's ride!
00:03:35	Yeah!
00:03:38	Angie!
00:03:40	What was that?
00:03:41	Shit. I think it's Tony.
00:03:43	- Tony?!
00:03:45	- What happened to "Tony's in China"?
00:03:50	Hey, Tony.
00:03:52	You're home early, baby.
00:03:54	- Tony?
00:03:59	Tony, there's enough of me
00:04:02	I'm thinking about a Tom sandwich.
00:04:05	Light on the Tom.
00:04:10	Jerry here has the reworked formula,
00:04:12	so I'll pass the ball on to him.
00:04:15	You're on.
00:04:21	- Now?
00:04:26	Right.
00:04:43	Baby! You're home.
00:04:45	Hey.
00:04:49	How was the surf?
00:04:51	Someone's happy to see me.
00:04:53	Well, why wouldn't I be?
00:04:59	You outdid yourself.
00:05:01	Just seemed like the right night
00:05:05	A Thursday?
00:05:07	Honey, don't you think every night
00:05:10	Yeah. Yes, every night
00:05:13	But, really...
00:05:15	...specifically, there's always one night
00:05:19	for a celebration of a specific event.
00:05:23	- Do you know what I'm saying?
00:05:27	I love dip.
00:05:28	It's our anniversary!
00:05:30	Our first date! How many hints
00:05:36	I must be crazy.
00:05:39	A trip? Great call.
00:05:41	I won't do it. I won't play the role
00:05:45	Would nagging wife
00:05:50	Please tell me that was not
00:05:56	Jerry and Denise cannot get
00:05:58	because we're doing it!
00:06:01	Jerry, it's Mom. If you're there,
00:06:04	Hey, Mom. I can't really talk
00:06:09	What?
00:06:25	Excuse me. Excuse me.
00:06:27	Excuse me, sir? Sir? Excuse me.
00:06:30	You're in my spot.
00:06:32	I don't see your name on it.
00:06:34	Well, actually, yes, my name is on it.
00:06:38	That's me. That's my space.
00:06:40	You got me.
00:06:43	But look at this, pal!
00:06:45	Now...
00:06:47	...your name's not on it!
00:06:49	Hey, you get back. You get back.
00:06:53	Hey, don't...!
00:06:56	Have a good day, doc.
00:06:58	You too.
00:07:11	I'm Dr. Mott!
00:07:24	Good morning, Sandi. TGIF.
00:07:27	What's that, Dr. Mott?
00:07:28	Thank Goodness It's Friday.
00:07:31	It's the weekend.
00:07:35	Right.
00:07:40	"TGIF."
00:07:42	That was great. So smart.
00:07:47	Why don't you just ask her out,
00:07:50	It's Jerry Conlaine.
00:07:51	- He says it's very important.
00:07:55	- Hey, how you doing? Long time.
00:08:00	Listen...
00:08:03	There was an accident.
00:08:05	Billy's dead.
00:08:08	- You're kidding.
00:08:11	He was para-surfing
00:08:14	So the funeral's this weekend.
00:08:18	- Yeah...
00:08:21	Can you make it?
00:08:23	Yeah, I'll be there.
00:08:38	Dano! Hey.
00:08:40	- Hey, Jerry.
00:08:43	Oh, man.
00:08:47	Oh, my God, is that Everest?
00:08:49	Yeah. You know Billy.
00:08:53	He could do it all.
00:08:54	Did you know he ran with the bulls?
00:08:57	He sent me a postcard from Spain.
00:08:58	- Man, he did great things.
00:09:00	I still want you.
00:09:04	Why did you leave me?
00:09:05	Oh, Billy.
00:09:08	Billy's dead and he's still got a better
00:09:14	Leadeth me in paths of righteousness
00:09:21	I walk through the valley
00:09:22	Tom's here.
00:09:24	Walk through the valley of the shadow
00:09:36	Is this Billy's funeral?
00:09:40	Is that the corpse of Billy Newwood?
00:09:44	Jer, is that you?
00:09:48	You're with Dan?
00:09:51	- Where did you guys park?
00:09:54	Okay. Sorry.
00:09:57	There's a hell of a fender-bender
00:09:59	- Please continue. I'm so sorry.
00:10:03	Then the earth shook and trembled...
00:10:05	Sorry, Padre.
00:10:07	My bad. Missed an exit.
00:10:08	- Because he was wroth.
00:10:11	He bowed the heavens also and
00:10:19	Did you notice how many hot chicks
00:10:21	No kidding! It was like a discotheque
00:10:27	- Look at that.
00:10:28	Fort Cooper. Can you believe it?
00:10:30	God, I remember it being taller.
00:10:37	There it is.
00:10:40	Race you to the top!
00:10:48	- Dano, come on up!
00:10:50	You guys are hammered!
00:10:53	- That's crazy.
00:10:55	This whole thing seems
00:10:59	climbing with the possibility of...
00:11:04	- You all right, Dano?
00:11:07	- Give me the rope.
00:11:10	Use your tippy-toes. There you go.
00:11:13	Cobweb. Look out.
00:11:17	- Oh, my God.
00:11:21	Kind of seems about
00:11:22	I hope I don't fall through
00:11:26	Hey! What's up, B.A. Baracus?
00:11:28	Mr. T. How awesome is that?
00:11:31	You guys. Oh, my gosh.
00:11:35	- Look at this.
00:11:38	- D.B. Cooper's treasure chest.
00:11:42	- You remember this?
00:11:45	Cooper parachuted out of a plane
00:11:48	We were obsessed with that.
00:11:49	- Nationwide police hunt and...
00:11:51	- Never found.
00:11:53	go up the river, all Huck Finn,
00:11:57	Get the loot.
00:11:58	I bet you we spent half our childhood
00:12:01	It's all Billy ever talked about.
00:12:03	- Let's open it up.
00:12:05	- Oh, I'll break it.
00:12:08	- How did he know that?
00:12:11	Miss 1981, Julie McDonald.
00:12:16	Had a passion for cycling.
00:12:18	You're right.
00:12:20	- What the?
00:12:23	Man! Look at that.
00:12:24	The oath...
00:12:26	"We swear that these things
00:12:29	until we find D.B. Cooper's treasure."
00:12:32	Signed, a bunch of kids.
00:12:35	Remember we pricked our fingers,
00:12:37	Dan, what's that next to
00:12:41	It was earwax.
00:12:43	I was afraid of needles.
00:12:45	Should we check out the priceless
00:12:48	C-3PO.
00:12:50	- I wonder who put that in.
00:12:53	- Yeah, right.
00:12:56	- The Boz.
00:12:58	the greatest ever.
00:12:59	"I've been in that box
00:13:02	Well, you're free now.
00:13:04	And, Tom, I believe this
00:13:07	Oh, my God.
00:13:09	That's my first rubber.
00:13:12	Boy...
00:13:13	I found this in my dad's pickup
00:13:18	I remember he caught me with it.
00:13:20	Boy, he smacked me
00:13:22	What a charming
00:13:25	He was funny.
00:13:27	- Hey, what did Billy put in there?
00:13:30	His Indy compass.
00:13:32	I gave this to him before he took off
00:13:35	I don't know, he must've put it back.
00:13:37	Look at this. It's one of our mix tapes.
00:13:41	Yeah, let's not Wang Chung tonight.
00:13:43	You guys, check out this map.
00:13:45	- Looks like Billy left us a treasure map.
00:13:48	- Not only that...
00:13:50	He plotted out the whole trip.
00:13:52	Billy thought D.B. Landed right here.
00:13:56	He must've been adding to the box
00:13:59	This is the camping trip
00:14:04	I couldn't go.
00:14:06	And he wouldn't do it
00:14:09	I swear to God, I think he figured it out.
00:14:12	I mean, look at all this research.
00:14:14	He reconstructed the jump.
00:14:18	That's crazy.
00:14:21	My God...
00:14:24	I'm sorry, you guys,
00:14:26	we made an oath.
00:14:28	It all goes back in the box.
00:14:31	It all goes back in the box
00:14:34	So let's go find it.
00:14:36	Let's... Let's take Billy's trip.
00:14:38	- Come on, guys, what do you say?
00:14:42	- Hell, yes! Right?
00:14:44	- Right?
00:14:45	No.
00:14:46	No, I'm...
00:14:48	- No.
00:14:50	- Listen, I wanna get a lot of rope.
00:14:52	All right, I know you guys won't grasp
00:14:55	but I have patients and...
00:14:58	I am a doctor now.
00:15:00	I am Dr. Mott now!
00:15:04	I have responsibilities!
00:15:08	Your responsibility is to come
00:15:15	We're 30.
00:15:16	This might be the last chance
00:15:18	incredibly stupid together.
00:15:22	I agree.
00:15:25	For Billy, Dano.
00:15:29	- Not fair.
00:15:31	All right.
00:15:33	Time to re-up on our oath, boys.
00:15:36	- Hey, put that away. Tom...
00:15:38	You know who I'm talking to.
00:15:39	There's no way I'm going.
00:15:43	No! You guys, no! Hey.
00:15:44	Let go of me!
00:15:46	Hey! No, no.
00:15:47	No!
00:15:51	I hate you guys.
00:15:52	Oh, we hate you too,
00:15:55	Hey! Hey! I agreed to come.
00:15:57	We drive by my rules.
00:15:59	I can't believe that Billy kept the Duke
00:16:02	318 V8, man. They're bulletproof.
00:16:04	How about a little
00:16:07	This is Rocking Billy Newwood.
00:16:10	- Jazzy Jerry.
00:16:12	- Gonzo Tommy.
00:16:15	- And Disco Dan.
00:16:17	And we have a special dedication
00:16:21	"I've Had Sex With Tom."
00:16:23	I totally did, though.
00:16:32	- Usually it's too late when you
00:16:36	Realize what you had
00:16:40	And my mind goes back to a girl
00:16:45	Who told me
00:16:47	Just hold on loosely
00:16:51	But don't let go
00:16:54	The boys together, the open road.
00:16:58	Good God! Let's pull off
00:17:01	But I'm never off, always on
00:17:03	C- O-M-P-T-O-N
00:17:04	And the city they call Long Beach
00:17:06	Putting the shit together
00:17:08	If it's good enough to take
00:17:10	I'll take a small piece
00:17:12	It's like this and like that
00:17:14	- How do you know all these words?
00:17:17	Doctors study other doctors' work.
00:17:20	- You're a secret Dr. Dre fan.
00:17:23	It's like this and like that
00:17:32	- No, this is a metropolis. Look at this.
00:17:36	I wish I would've brought my dancing
00:17:39	- Let's find the nearest hospital.
00:17:47	- How are you?
00:17:57	Where are we?
00:17:59	Corner of Bumfuck and
00:18:03	Hey, I'm gonna make a call.
00:18:05	Oh, wait, Jerry, you should use
00:18:08	It's a satellite phone,
00:18:10	And it's got a camera and it's got
00:18:13	it's even got a personalized ring.
00:18:15	Nice. You shouldn't be proud
00:18:18	- Thanks.
00:18:19	Well,
00:18:21	I'm gonna go check out
00:18:24	- You want anything?
00:18:29	Hello?
00:18:30	Denise. What are you doing home?
00:18:32	Hi. Is everything all right?
00:18:35	You know...
00:18:36	- It's as good as it can be.
00:18:41	On the road.
00:18:43	Good. You're on your way home.
00:18:45	I can't wait to see you.
00:18:46	What you looking at, boy?
00:18:48	Here's the thing, the guys and I...
00:18:50	We're going on a treasure hunt.
00:18:52	And I know that sounds dumb,
00:18:56	For Billy.
00:18:58	That doesn't sound dumb at all.
00:19:01	- You do?
00:19:04	But I might be out of the house.
00:19:07	my girlfriends and I, we're gonna go on
00:19:11	Maybe my treasure will help
00:19:13	- Maybe. Maybe it will.
00:19:16	- Hold on.
00:19:17	- Shut up.
00:19:20	That's good. That's good.
00:19:23	Hello?
00:19:27	That did not sound like it went well.
00:19:29	Hiya, boys. Nice day.
00:19:33	Just passing through?
00:19:35	No.
00:19:37	We're actually from UPS.
00:19:39	Looks like someone ordered
00:19:42	- I beg your pardon.
00:19:47	- Anyways...
00:19:49	Where was it you said
00:19:51	We're just taking a trip. Our old friend,
00:19:54	Quiet time. Quiet.
00:19:56	We're just taking a day trip
00:19:58	up Spirit River, Your Honor.
00:20:01	Pretty thick country up there.
00:20:03	You make a couple mistakes up there,
00:20:05	You know what, I think we'll be okay.
00:20:08	Tom, you were a Boy Scout,
00:20:10	No. But I ate a Brownie once.
00:20:15	You don't wanna play
00:20:18	- Oh, no, we're not playing, we're...
00:20:21	I know a thing or two
00:20:23	because I was a white-water guide
00:20:26	Here's the thing. I know how to read a
00:20:30	- Just a little better.
00:20:32	- All right. So we're gonna get going?
00:20:35	- Thank you, sheriff.
00:20:53	You think we got enough booze,
00:20:56	Maybe you wanna hire a bartender
00:20:59	What's a camping trip without beer?
00:21:02	Well, it's still a camping trip, actually,
00:21:06	I hear you're a river guide.
00:21:07	- Oh, yeah.
00:21:09	Class IV, V?
00:21:13	- Which is it?
00:21:15	those numbers together. That's right.
00:21:17	I've shot a class 45,
00:21:20	Lie to me. I don't care.
00:21:23	I'm not the one that's going to drown.
00:21:25	All right, fellas.
00:21:27	Here we go. Attention.
00:21:30	We christen you
00:21:31	"Duke II."
00:21:36	Thanks for breaking glass
00:21:42	There's a transmitter in the canoe.
00:21:44	That way, if you guys disappear,
00:21:48	It's child's play, guy. We got it.
00:21:51	- It's beautiful!
00:21:53	- I like it out here.
00:21:55	Get you out of the doctor's office,
00:21:57	- It's good to be outside.
00:21:59	Get you away from
00:22:08	- What kind of fish are those?
00:22:10	- That's big.
00:22:16	- Hey, look, a deer!
00:22:20	Right out there in the open.
00:22:25	Hey...
00:22:44	Cheers.
00:22:47	The great outdoors!
00:22:48	Tom!
00:22:50	- You guys are spraying me!
00:22:52	- I'm writing your name!
00:22:57	- Hey, don't, don't, don't!
00:23:00	No, but this water is teeming
00:23:07	They don't bring losers
00:23:17	So this is Spirit River.
00:23:20	And then we hike
00:23:22	and that should lead us
00:23:24	What's with all these satanic names?
00:23:29	No, but there's
00:23:31	Okay, just keep your eyes open
00:23:33	- for our first day's marker.
00:23:35	It's a rock formation called
00:23:38	Grandpa's Nose.
00:23:40	Looking for Grandpa's Nose.
00:23:43	I think I see it! It's right there.
00:23:46	Good work, Dan.
00:23:48	Prepare to port.
00:23:51	I predict you'll be puking in that river
00:23:55	Dry timber...
00:24:00	Hi there, coalminer's daughter.
00:24:04	Or you can always try these fancy
00:24:07	I saw how to do this on
00:24:09	Okay? And I'm gonna do it.
00:24:11	Oxygen in there...
00:24:13	Get that right combination...
00:24:24	Stop, drop and roll!
00:24:29	Why would you do that?!
00:24:31	I'm with my face right next to the...
00:24:33	- Why would you do that?!
00:24:36	It's a nice fire.
00:24:38	Hey.
00:24:40	We did it.
00:24:42	I told you.
00:24:47	Do you really wanna hurt me?
00:24:51	Do you really wanna hear this crap?
00:24:55	Please. You liked this song
00:24:57	When we were kids,
00:25:00	We weren't wrapped up
00:25:03	We just listened to the music.
00:25:05	It should be like that now.
00:25:13	This song is so uncool.
00:25:16	- Well, I like it. It soothes me.
00:25:21	I'm blessed with good taste.
00:25:23	One day, you'll see,
00:25:25	Don't get cocky, 30-year-old Dr. Mott,
00:25:30	Excuse me for getting an MD
00:25:33	Excuse me. I found a way to make 12
00:25:37	Really? How do you do that?
00:25:39	You running immigrants
00:25:42	Those guys fell asleep in my truck.
00:25:44	I thought I'd just gotten shitfaced
00:25:48	I didn't know there were dudes
00:25:51	For real, though?
00:25:53	Selling Harleys.
00:25:55	It's the greatest gig on the planet.
00:25:58	Congrats. I'm happy for you.
00:26:00	Seriously, though,
00:26:02	- like you're doing great.
00:26:04	I just don't know if I'm cut out for
00:26:08	I would kill to have a woman at home
00:26:13	At work, I just sit in my office
00:26:17	"There's gotta be something better
00:26:19	- I thought you liked your job.
00:26:23	Sitting out in the water.
00:26:26	Waiting for that perfect wave.
00:26:31	And I also like being out here.
00:26:35	The first time in months,
00:26:39	Just living in the moment.
00:26:42	Just like Billy did.
00:26:46	Hey.
00:26:47	Here's to Billy.
00:26:49	- To our dead friend.
00:26:50	Tom...
00:26:54	Dano, whatever happened between
00:26:58	You know, I don't appreciate the
00:27:01	It was a mutual separation.
00:27:03	Yeah, between her eyes.
00:27:05	That girl had not one,
00:27:09	It was like her eyes were trying
00:27:11	You know, Tom, I'm sorry she wasn't
00:27:14	No tattoos below the waist,
00:27:17	Name one girlfriend of mine
00:27:19	Jo Jo, the one who had
00:27:22	Oh, Jo Jo. That's one.
00:27:24	How do you know what she did
00:27:27	She had that website:
00:27:28	- JoJosDownstairs. Com.
00:27:31	Hey, Dano, let's see what
00:27:33	- What is this, astronaut food?
00:27:36	It tastes like watermelon. It's very filling
00:27:39	I'm not an astronaut.
00:27:42	And there's fresh salmon
00:27:46	What?
00:27:47	I'm eating salmon tonight.
00:27:49	That's great, except
00:27:52	Don't need any.
00:27:55	- We'll shine them.
00:27:58	Shine the fish, old Cherokee trick.
00:28:01	I forgot the Cherokee had been using
00:28:05	No, didn't they pioneer the D battery?
00:28:07	All right, suckers.
00:28:09	Let's see who's eating salmon tonight
00:28:13	- Do you have a crow-catching trick?
00:28:16	They love figure eights.
00:28:19	Hey, 100 grand
00:28:21	the only thing you catch
00:28:24	Got it! Grab it!
00:28:27	What are you doing?!
00:28:29	- Fantastic.
00:28:32	You owe me 100 grand
00:28:34	Are you gonna catch it
00:28:36	- Yeah, yeah!
00:28:38	I'm gonna have to use a distinct pattern
00:28:44	It's gonna be tough, but I'll focus.
00:28:48	What the hell are you doing?
00:28:50	I toss it, you grab it.
00:28:55	What?
00:28:59	- What are you doing?
00:29:02	- Why?
00:29:05	- You can't outrun that bear.
00:29:08	I just have to outrun you.
00:29:10	Stay calm.
00:29:11	It's important that you don't
00:29:14	- Just follow my lead.
00:29:20	It's a bear! We're all gonna die!
00:29:23	Run!
00:29:30	Keep going!
00:29:44	Get out!
00:29:46	- Go away! Go!
00:29:52	- Stay calm. Get in the fetal position.
00:29:56	It won't bother you
00:30:05	- Nothing's gonna happen now.
00:30:09	Abort the fetal position!
00:30:11	- It's not working!
00:30:12	No...
00:30:17	The bear thinks Dan's her cub.
00:30:28	What do we do now?
00:30:36	Stay... Stay down.
00:30:42	- Help me!
00:30:44	This is bad. This is really bad.
00:30:46	- Go first.
00:30:55	Hey. Where's the bear?
00:31:11	He's trying to fatten Dan up
00:31:22	Chew it up and eat it.
00:31:26	Eat it.
00:31:36	- Stop pretending.
00:31:39	You have to actually eat it.
00:31:41	- Okay.
00:31:45	Eat it.
00:32:01	It's delicious. Very good, thank you.
00:32:03	Is there another one?
00:32:08	That was good. That was real good.
00:32:14	- Let's go.
00:32:20	- Move, move, move.
00:32:29	- Your mom misses you.
00:32:33	Hey, that's my phone.
00:32:37	How long do you think
00:32:40	Hour, hour and a half, tops.
00:32:43	Bears have very short attention spans.
00:33:04	What was that?
00:33:08	I don't know, but it scared away
00:33:13	What do you think could happen
00:33:16	- You think we'd die?
00:33:18	What if I toss it to you
00:33:20	Elwood, throw it!
00:33:25	- Cue the insane hillbillies.
00:33:28	They're fishing.
00:33:30	Why aren't they using
00:33:34	This is exactly what you hear about
00:33:37	in the middle of summertime.
00:33:38	of diseases and things,
00:33:41	of some kind of
00:33:42	How you like me now, boy?
00:33:45	- I don't like this...
00:33:49	She ate everything.
00:33:51	Including my very expensive
00:33:53	All right, let's load up.
00:33:56	Wait a minute, you're not actually
00:33:59	- Why not?
00:34:00	I got carried away by a bear. And then
00:34:04	Well, we got that out of the way.
00:34:07	Now we can get back on the river.
00:34:08	There comes a time
00:34:11	when he needs to strike out
00:34:13	Fine.
00:34:15	Fine. But I say we avoid them and we
00:34:18	All right, all right. Heave-ho.
00:34:22	They call this portage. Or portage.
00:34:27	- What's the map say, Jerry?
00:34:30	It's gonna be... It's gonna be good.
00:34:34	Jer, isn't the river supposed to fork?
00:34:37	No. It just goes straight
00:34:40	Are you sure?
00:34:42	We are back in business, boys.
00:34:47	All right. Let's rudder back.
00:34:49	Bring the tail out.
00:34:54	- It's getting kind of rough, Tom.
00:34:59	Really?
00:35:00	Not a good time to read a map, Jer.
00:35:03	Guys, I wanna pull over. I need
00:35:07	I got the stern. Work the bow,
00:35:09	Guys, let's pull over.
00:35:12	This is exactly what you'd expect.
00:35:15	Tom, guide us to the bank.
00:35:18	- Watch the current.
00:35:25	No problem.
00:35:28	Rocks! Rocks! Keep rowing!
00:35:31	I'm not having the fun
00:35:33	Just keep rowing!
00:35:40	- Follow my lead!
00:35:42	Same stroke, same stroke!
00:35:44	- Tom?
00:35:45	- It's getting big.
00:35:48	Like, real big.
00:35:51	- I'm in over my head!
00:35:53	- Don't tell me that!
00:35:55	Please don't tell me that!
00:35:57	Forward! No, backstroke,
00:36:01	Come on!
00:36:12	Dano!
00:36:14	Tom!
00:36:16	Help!
00:36:21	Jerry! Help!
00:36:26	- Dan! I'm coming!
00:36:28	- Dan!
00:36:30	- Dano!
00:36:33	Catch the rope!
00:36:36	I got you!
00:36:44	- Dan, come on, baby, I got you.
00:36:46	- I'm gonna get hypothermia!
00:36:50	You all right? Hold on.
00:36:53	- Tom! Tommy!
00:36:56	In here, boys!
00:37:03	We made it!
00:37:05	That's how you go down the rapids!
00:37:08	- Better get in.
00:37:12	- I about shit. Did you about shit?
00:37:16	- I did shit.
00:37:18	- Oh, shit? What "oh, shit"?
00:37:21	- Oh, shit!
00:37:35	I don't believe this, man.
00:37:41	Tom...
00:37:42	- Where were you a river guide?
00:37:45	- Raging Waters?
00:37:48	They had some serious
00:37:49	- What, class "toddler"?
00:37:52	at the Monsoon Lagoon.
00:37:54	- I knew you were lying.
00:37:56	- Oh, you did?
00:37:57	Well, you're the reason
00:38:00	in the wrong part of the river.
00:38:01	Hey, I am not
00:38:03	Okay, Jerry, didn't you see
00:38:07	I would've, if your friend,
00:38:11	Hold on a sec. Tom?
00:38:13	Were you really
00:38:15	No. I lied about that too.
00:38:18	I must have been crazy. I...
00:38:21	All right. This trip is officially over.
00:38:24	- Let's just go home.
00:38:28	All we gotta do is jump up over
00:38:31	swim upstream 20 miles,
00:38:34	He liked us, I remember. And he'll
00:38:37	Hey, there's a beer in the river. Cool.
00:38:40	Look at this, it's cold.
00:38:43	We are in serious trouble, my friends.
00:38:46	All data points to us being...
00:38:49	Completely screwed?
00:38:51	Yeah. You know, that is...
00:38:54	I mean, it pretty much sums it up.
00:38:56	I suspect Tom is drunk.
00:38:59	- because he's such a live wire...
00:39:00	We got the compass.
00:39:03	Look, that's east, west, north.
00:39:06	- That's south.
00:39:08	That's great!
00:39:10	- What?
00:39:12	It only works with the map.
00:39:14	So you're saying you lost the map?
00:39:16	No. I'm saying I forgot
00:39:19	was free-falling
00:39:21	So you don't have it?
00:39:25	Hey, do you hear that?
00:39:27	- Oh, hell, yeah.
00:39:31	I never thought I'd be happy to hear
00:39:38	Lights.
00:39:43	Thank you, God. Civilization.
00:39:45	- Look at that.
00:39:47	- You think they're cooking food?
00:39:56	- Damn it, Elwood. This blade is dull.
00:40:01	- See how I popped off that fish head?
00:40:03	I told you not to use my buck knife.
00:40:05	How you like me now, fish?
00:40:08	You ain't so tough
00:40:11	Oh, what's that? You can't hear me?
00:40:14	That's right, because
00:40:15	because you don't have a head,
00:40:20	Okay, that's... I mean,
00:40:22	We should get out of here.
00:40:24	Listen, I say we just try talking...
00:40:27	Shut it.
00:40:29	The hell was that?
00:40:34	- Is that a gun?
00:40:51	Must've been a possum.
00:40:53	Boll weevil.
00:40:55	- Guns and fish heads...
00:40:59	We'll just lay low.
00:41:03	- Hey.
00:41:05	- These guys are pot farmers.
00:41:15	Oh, boy. We should go.
00:41:20	Lynyrd. Skynyrd. Come here.
00:41:27	There you go, spoiling them dogs.
00:41:30	Lots of vitamins in these fish heads.
00:41:33	Look at that. Skynyrd likes fish heads
00:41:37	Do you think they saw us?
00:41:39	No, I don't.
00:41:46	- What are you doing?
00:41:47	I'll write you a prescription. Let's go.
00:41:49	- Come on.
00:42:00	On my go. Ready?
00:42:08	Go, go, back here. Come on.
00:42:14	Hey, guys.
00:42:16	Listen. We don't want any trouble.
00:42:18	We just got lost on the river,
00:42:21	Hey, can we use your phone?
00:42:23	Oh, of course.
00:42:24	And... Who cares, you know?
00:42:33	- Let's go through there.
00:42:41	- Lynyrd, Skynyrd. Get them.
00:42:45	- Good work, buddy.
00:42:47	- Let's go.
00:42:50	Come on!
00:42:52	Go, go, go!
00:43:00	What did you do?
00:43:03	Why are there flares?
00:43:06	Great mother of ganja.
00:43:09	Come on! I see them! I got them!
00:43:11	- Hey, boys, come back here.
00:43:14	- Just wanna talk to you.
00:43:18	Damn it, you head to the left.
00:43:22	- Go, go, go!
00:43:25	I think I got them, Dennis!
00:43:28	They're shooting at us! Run!
00:43:31	Come on, Dennis, I'm gonna get them!
00:43:42	Damn it! I can't see nothing
00:43:44	- We're dead. We're dead.
00:43:49	- We're dead!
00:43:57	We're gonna die...
00:44:00	You set the security flares
00:44:03	The whole damn field's on fire.
00:44:05	Where the hell are the damn dogs?!
00:44:11	You guys gotta promise me that you'll
00:44:13	because if they found out I got stoned,
00:44:16	The next thing you know,
00:44:18	They'll take away all my instruments
00:44:21	and I won't have
00:44:23	I just don't wanna lose all my stuff.
00:44:33	Oh, great. We got us
00:44:36	The hell are they looking at?
00:44:39	Get up, you stoner dogs!
00:44:43	Get up. You gotta move
00:44:48	I think I see them.
00:44:50	They got laser scopes.
00:44:53	Dudes.
00:44:55	Dudes, dudes. Seriously. Seriously.
00:44:59	I will give you four cows
00:45:06	I'll give them something
00:45:22	Matrix.
00:45:26	My back.
00:45:28	Cut them off at the river.
00:45:30	Jerry, Jerry.
00:45:33	Billy. Jesus, Billy.
00:45:36	- I miss you.
00:45:39	I'm just trying to make it out
00:45:41	Don't give up. Keep looking.
00:45:45	Not really, my man.
00:45:47	Stop. Stop. You're gonna run into...
00:45:54	We can't outrun them.
00:45:56	- Quick, hide.
00:45:59	Let's get them!
00:46:04	Man, our whole crop is burning!
00:46:08	And the bodies that are attached
00:46:10	Dead! D-E-A-D! Dead!
00:46:12	- Assholes! A-S-S-H-O...
00:46:16	- Come on, you're dead!
00:46:19	- You can only run so far!
00:46:38	- Bullfrogs.
00:46:44	Don't waste the ammo.
00:46:46	Come on, they must've headed up
00:46:57	- It crawled straight in my stomach.
00:47:00	I think it laid eggs in my stomach.
00:47:11	You think they're still following us?
00:47:13	I don't wanna stop and find out.
00:47:17	It's not all burnt.
00:47:21	- You think?
00:47:22	- You think?
00:47:25	Damn it. It's all burnt. I knew it,
00:47:30	- They burned it.
00:47:33	The whole damn field is burnt.
00:47:36	We got three bona fide yuppies
00:47:40	lost somewhere,
00:47:42	We gotta catch them
00:47:46	I think we can slow down. I haven't
00:47:50	Yeah? You slow down, get a stick
00:47:53	Calm down, Daniel,
00:47:56	No, we're not, Jerry.
00:47:58	We could really die out here.
00:47:59	Man, I can't believe
00:48:02	"Let's go take Billy's trip.
00:48:04	Let's... Let's find D.B.'s treasure.
00:48:07	I'll get a canoe. I'll get some rope."
00:48:09	- Is he all right?
00:48:11	- "We'll find D.B.'s treasure!" Right.
00:48:14	- I don't know.
00:48:16	Make jokes. That's a really good idea.
00:48:18	Is this living in the moment
00:48:20	Is this the carefree life with no
00:48:23	Is this the...? Is this the great wilderness
00:48:27	How should I be, Dr. Dan? Tell me.
00:48:30	- Be afraid.
00:48:32	Well, then, act like it! It is very
00:48:36	when you don't act the way
00:48:38	No wonder Denise
00:48:40	- What did you say?
00:48:43	- Put your hands down.
00:48:45	Mr. Joe-Tattoo, Mr. Motorcycle-Man,
00:48:51	- Oh, my... Tom, you got shot.
00:48:55	- He got shot?
00:48:58	- Are you all right?
00:49:00	in that thing. Look at how deep it is.
00:49:02	It just grazed you. You're really lucky.
00:49:04	Oh, wow, that's gonna be
00:49:06	I'm gonna stitch it up good.
00:49:25	Lose the cleaver.
00:49:26	Meat cleaver's my favorite.
00:49:29	It's scary, but ultimately ineffective.
00:49:31	Now, Dennis, you don't understand...
00:49:34	Them three boys get back to town,
00:49:37	you're gonna spend the next 40 years
00:49:41	Quit messing around.
00:49:43	Lose the cleaver.
00:49:48	I love the cleaver.
00:49:51	You'll be good as new. Sorry.
00:49:56	Hey, Dano.
00:49:58	I'm sorry I got you into this.
00:50:00	- I really am.
00:50:03	Well, we're getting out of it. I promise.
00:50:06	someone's buying
00:50:08	- Not it.
00:50:10	with all that... All that Harley money.
00:50:14	I'm sorry, I...
00:50:17	That whole thing
00:50:19	- What, you don't make that much?
00:50:23	In fact, the only thing I've sold lately
00:50:27	They weren't even mine.
00:50:29	Tom, that's not an exaggeration,
00:50:31	- You know, you lie a lot.
00:50:35	What happened?
00:50:36	Well, first it was blackjack.
00:50:40	So then I started betting
00:50:44	I lost everything.
00:50:45	What'd I expect?
00:50:48	It's like my old man used to say,
00:50:52	If we didn't have bad luck,
00:50:54	You have got to stop
00:50:56	I'm not blaming anyone.
00:50:58	Yeah, you are. Listen to yourself.
00:51:00	Yeah, it's real. I'm a great gambler.
00:51:02	I will give you one thing:
00:51:05	I mean, he had his own things
00:51:08	But if he did one thing right,
00:51:10	it was not raising a complete idiot.
00:51:13	You're a lot smarter, for one thing.
00:51:16	Right, Dano?
00:51:21	Well, I wouldn't say a lot smarter.
00:51:26	Tom, you have a lot more
00:51:30	That's easy for you to say, Dano.
00:51:33	I mean, you got a big old
00:51:37	- big, thick red hair...
00:51:39	I wouldn't be so jealous of me
00:51:40	Every day I develop some
00:51:44	You're exaggerating again.
00:51:46	I'm afraid of the dark, Jerry.
00:51:48	So? There's a lot of people
00:51:50	- I know a shitload.
00:51:52	Again, not that abnormal.
00:51:54	- Cellophane.
00:51:57	- Yeah.
00:51:59	See, I won't even keep it
00:52:02	because I'm afraid somehow it'll get,
00:52:05	and stick to my mouth and nose
00:52:09	- How pathetic is that?
00:52:15	Relax, you're almost through.
00:52:17	There you go. Hey, would one
00:52:22	That's a phone.
00:52:24	- It's that way.
00:52:27	How did your phone
00:52:29	- Who cares?
00:52:34	- Go, go, go!
00:52:38	Whiskey Dick, this is Lightning
00:52:42	We are on the move and loaded
00:52:48	- Why'd you stop?
00:52:51	Footprints.
00:52:55	Oh, it's theirs.
00:52:57	It's weird.
00:53:00	Footprints with no people in them.
00:53:03	I mean...
00:53:05	...it's like it's them,
00:53:07	but it's not them,
00:53:10	Rarely.
00:53:12	Get on your wheeler.
00:53:14	Hold on a second, guys.
00:53:17	We're gonna climb the tree.
00:53:19	We'll climb the tree, get a good look
00:53:23	or a way out of here.
00:53:24	Yeah, I'll go. Give me a boost.
00:53:27	Oh, hey, Tom, wait.
00:53:30	Thanks.
00:53:31	Please, just be careful.
00:53:36	Are you maintaining
00:53:38	Yeah, two-second rule, I know.
00:53:42	- Do you see anything?
00:53:45	This is really cool!
00:53:48	What is he doing up there?
00:53:50	Tommy, you see a road?
00:53:53	Any signs of life?
00:53:57	Are you kidding me?
00:54:01	Tommy?
00:54:02	Tom, do you see anything or not?
00:54:10	I think I might still be stoned.
00:54:17	Hello? Excuse me, miss?
00:54:20	- Ladies?
00:54:24	You may call me Butterfly.
00:54:27	And if you're
00:54:29	you'll have to speak to our lawyers.
00:54:31	If you look to your left,
00:54:34	What?
00:54:36	We're not... We're not
00:54:39	- Peace.
00:54:40	- Hey, peace.
00:54:42	- What's your name?
00:54:45	And what's your forest name?
00:54:48	Slug. His forest name is Slug.
00:54:52	- I got you.
00:54:54	I'm sorry, Slug. We can't
00:54:57	Do you understand?
00:54:59	Well, could we come up there,
00:55:03	Come on up.
00:55:05	So then we run straight into
00:55:08	We had to hide underwater,
00:55:11	Reeds? Like pussy willow reeds?
00:55:14	God, it must've been so hard
00:55:17	Yeah, it's been quite a trip.
00:55:18	Do you guys have a cell phone
00:55:20	Sorry, Slug. Cell phones are bad
00:55:23	and people who live
00:55:25	- Right.
00:55:27	You need to get out
00:55:29	Here, let us wash them for you.
00:55:31	- No, no. I'm fine.
00:55:37	Oh, boy!
00:55:38	Mighty Oak could go
00:55:41	- Stay right there.
00:55:44	Just relax, Condor.
00:55:47	No, it's okay, honestly. I'm actually
00:55:51	I'm a doctor, so I usually
00:55:54	Yeah. I've been told I give
00:55:58	If you wanna roll down
00:56:01	- Stockings?
00:56:05	I'm all-natural.
00:56:09	Supernatural.
00:56:10	- You guys live up here year-round?
00:56:17	How do you guys get supplies?
00:56:19	When we need supplies, we radio
00:56:23	Radio?
00:56:25	You... You guys have a radio?
00:56:27	Yeah. We haven't used it
00:56:31	Remember that, Flower?
00:56:32	Oh, my God. That thunderstorm
00:56:37	Earth Child's limbs were just waving,
00:56:42	like she was dancing in the rhythm
00:56:51	Full-on Tantric orgasm.
00:56:54	- So where's this radio?
00:56:57	You don't say.
00:56:58	We danced naked
00:57:03	And then held each other,
00:57:08	The rain is like a drug.
00:57:13	What? Makes you wanna what?
00:57:18	Can we please use the radio?
00:57:20	Sure thing, Slug.
00:57:23	Wow. Monkey feet.
00:57:26	Yeah. It's like a second pair of hands.
00:57:28	Hello? Anyone out there?
00:57:31	and my two friends and I
00:57:34	- You gotta say "Over."
00:57:37	I read you, son.
00:57:42	- What is your position? Over.
00:57:46	We are two miles east
00:57:49	in a giant redwood
00:57:53	In a tree. We'll find you. We will
00:58:00	Peace. Over.
00:58:02	You just sit tight.
00:58:05	Over and out!
00:58:09	So we ran out of food in Borneo,
00:58:11	eating our mosquito netting.
00:58:14	It was really good.
00:58:16	Oh, you messy thing. Let me get that.
00:58:20	Thank you.
00:58:21	Well, there's plenty more
00:58:24	Oh, no, I couldn't.
00:58:27	I need to visit the little trees' room.
00:58:30	Where do you guys do the do?
00:58:32	Top side of the tree.
00:58:34	Got a real kick to it.
00:58:39	Bag it when you're done.
00:58:43	If you bring it in, you take it out.
00:58:46	Okay, will do.
00:58:48	Do you have any paper?
00:58:51	Oh, great. You know,
00:58:54	I think I'm gonna wait
00:58:56	Someone's here, someone's here.
00:58:59	- Good afternoon, ladies.
00:59:03	End of the line, boys.
00:59:05	- They're gonna kill Earth Child.
00:59:06	No, they're not gonna kill
00:59:09	We gotta get down and we gotta
00:59:14	- No!
00:59:17	Go to it, Elwood.
00:59:19	We're gonna die up here
00:59:22	You know, Condor, even if your bodily
00:59:26	- your soul will live on.
00:59:29	Listen up, karma chameleons.
00:59:32	Here's the plan.
00:59:33	Send those boys down,
00:59:36	I'm gonna rappel down.
00:59:39	and then I'm gonna distract them.
00:59:42	- Okay.
00:59:44	Cut it down, Elwood.
00:59:47	Good plan, Jerry. One small change.
00:59:49	Time to find out whether
00:59:52	For me, Jer, for me?
00:59:55	Yeah, go, go, go.
00:59:58	Give them hell, Tommy.
01:00:00	This Hell-mart's open for business,
01:00:04	- Stop!
01:00:09	We gotta cover him.
01:00:10	I have an idea.
01:00:15	You just send those boys down.
01:00:16	There won't be no more trouble
01:00:20	- Heavier than it looks.
01:00:22	- Oh, yeah.
01:00:23	- Ready?
01:00:30	- Oh yes.
01:00:32	It's doody, Dennis.
01:00:34	One, two, three.
01:00:35	Oh, shit.
01:00:38	Dano, let's go.
01:00:40	Get away from my tree!
01:00:43	This is wrong.
01:00:45	- Okay.
01:00:48	Okay.
01:00:49	Jamming up my gun barrel.
01:00:50	- This is not me.
01:00:53	Fly free and know
01:01:00	Thank you, kind, crazy,
01:01:01	Thank you, kind, crazy,
01:01:07	It was cute.
01:01:10	- Get off my tree!
01:01:13	Filthy hippie! Shoot her again.
01:01:15	That is it!
01:01:18	- I don't wanna do this, Jerry.
01:01:21	that railroad bridge into Cedar Lake?
01:01:25	No, no. I never jumped off of there.
01:01:27	You guys always pushed me
01:01:29	Oh, yeah.
01:01:34	Go!
01:01:40	- Hold on, Dan.
01:01:42	Did I kill your grandma?
01:01:45	- I don't think so.
01:01:52	He's getting away on my wheeler!
01:01:54	- Get him, Elwood.
01:02:07	Come on, let's go. Get on, get on.
01:02:14	Go. Go.
01:02:15	- Hold on.
01:02:18	All right, I'm on. Go. Go.
01:02:22	Hold on, Dano.
01:02:28	Can't this thing go any faster?
01:02:32	Shoot the one driving!
01:02:37	What are you doing?
01:02:39	I'm pretending I'm on a speeder bike
01:02:42	It's my process. Leave me alone.
01:02:54	Over there. It looks like a clearing.
01:02:57	That way.
01:03:00	That way, that way, that way!
01:03:15	Damn it, Elwood.
01:03:17	I think I just swallowed my underpants.
01:03:22	Shoot them.
01:03:25	- I can't believe they survived that fall.
01:03:29	No, they're trapped like rats.
01:03:31	Only way they can go now
01:03:33	We know right where they're headed.
01:03:41	- Flat tire.
01:03:44	Keep moving.
01:03:50	Getting close, Elwood.
01:04:00	This way.
01:04:05	All right, that is it. I'm out.
01:04:08	I'm out.
01:04:10	I'm out.
01:04:12	I have spent the last, like, two hours
01:04:16	of a sweaty ball sack and a sweaty
01:04:23	What does that mean?
01:04:25	I think it means he's out.
01:04:29	Like, he's finally admitted he's gay.
01:04:31	You know, I'm just gonna stay
01:04:36	I mean, this is serious.
01:04:39	I've known you almost,
01:04:41	I've never seen you have
01:04:45	That's because I have the inhaler,
01:04:50	No, I think Jerry's right. I think
01:04:54	You just need to take a couple of real
01:04:58	Oh, okay, why didn't I think of that?
01:04:59	I'll just get over my chronic
01:05:02	I'll just breathe.
01:05:05	There you go. I'm over it.
01:05:07	See? That wasn't that hard, was it?
01:05:10	You gotta relax, Dano. All right?
01:05:12	It's no time to give up hope.
01:05:16	No, actually, Jerry, I'm convinced that
01:05:20	I don't know that there has ever been
01:05:23	I mean, look at this.
01:05:26	Things are as bad
01:05:37	I stand corrected.
01:05:44	Elwood, what are you doing?
01:05:46	It's raining. It's raining.
01:05:52	Tom, man, get under here.
01:05:56	No, but we will die of hypothermia.
01:06:00	Look, our only chance
01:06:03	We gotta huddle our bodies together
01:06:05	I, for one, choose death.
01:06:08	Interesting.
01:06:10	One minute you mock
01:06:14	and now you wanna cuddle with it.
01:06:17	You know, the whole huddle-up thing
01:06:20	is the oldest trick in the book.
01:06:24	It's just for getting a girl naked.
01:06:25	Worked, though.
01:06:27	Every time.
01:07:12	This never leaves the cave.
01:07:18	I'm starting to feel warm.
01:07:20	See? I told you guys.
01:07:22	Let's just try and get some sleep.
01:07:28	Hey, Dano.
01:07:31	How hot were those chicks
01:07:35	They were hairy, but hot.
01:07:38	The rain,
01:07:40	dancing to the rhythm of the thunder,
01:07:43	full-on Tantric orgasm,
01:07:48	Didn't she kiss you once?
01:07:50	It was nice.
01:07:52	Oh, my God.
01:07:54	They are probably dancing naked
01:07:59	Dancing...
01:08:01	Soaking wet.
01:08:07	Hey.
01:08:10	Hey! Oh, my God, Dano,
01:08:12	It wasn't me, it was Jerry.
01:08:16	I'm sorry. My bad. I'm so sorry.
01:08:19	What happens in the cave,
01:08:21	Oh, my God. That was your...
01:08:23	Come back to bed, you guys.
01:08:26	Not till he puts Jabba back in his hut.
01:08:28	Freeze, perverts.
01:08:36	Wait, wait, wait, just...
01:08:39	This isn't what it looks like.
01:08:41	If you're gonna rape somebody,
01:08:44	Did I ask you to talk?
01:08:46	- No.
01:08:48	or I'll shoot your testicles off
01:08:50	and stuff them and mount
01:08:56	That's gonna be an ugly mantelpiece.
01:08:58	- Go on.
01:09:17	What is it?
01:09:20	Cinnamon.
01:09:24	What the hell are you doing, collecting
01:09:28	Well, all the twigs are broken.
01:09:32	That they have.
01:09:34	- Nice place.
01:09:38	- Build this yourself?
01:09:43	- Okay, I'm going.
01:09:45	It's a lot warmer in here.
01:10:00	I think he's gonna try to cook us.
01:10:07	Where you going?
01:10:13	Oh, Susanna
01:10:17	Don't you cry for me
01:10:20	If you're gonna kill us,
01:10:22	I am sick of waiting to die.
01:10:25	Okay.
01:10:27	- Was that reckless?
01:10:30	If I was gonna kill you,
01:10:33	- Thank you. Thank you.
01:10:35	- You're a very gracious man.
01:10:37	Yes, with a happy ending.
01:10:39	D.B.
01:10:43	- What'd you call me?
01:10:47	You are, aren't you?
01:10:49	No, I ain't D.B. Cooper.
01:10:53	That's ancient history.
01:10:56	I tell you what's not
01:10:59	It's three naked deviates
01:11:05	We were searching for D.B.
01:11:09	and we're trespassing, but
01:11:14	First thing, I want you to put
01:11:22	And then I'd like to hear this story.
01:11:25	Thank you. Oh, thank you.
01:11:27	More of your own
01:11:29	I wouldn't mind wearing
01:11:31	I'd get dressed faster if I was you
01:11:33	because I've been alone in this cabin
01:11:36	- Oh, God.
01:11:37	They would've come in here
01:11:43	They laid down right here, Dennis.
01:11:46	Right here.
01:11:47	Lay down beside me.
01:11:49	In order to stalk your prey,
01:11:51	you gotta go where they go
01:11:55	Then a scuffle broke out,
01:11:58	and there were some harsh words
01:12:00	and they beat that little one
01:12:04	Elwood,
01:12:06	I don't need to know
01:12:07	I just need to know
01:12:13	Up-mountain. All right, let's get back
01:12:16	I know a shortcut
01:12:18	We can still beat them to the summit.
01:12:22	And then you, you scared us
01:12:26	That just came right off the top
01:12:28	- It was very scary.
01:12:31	May I ask you one question?
01:12:35	Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You could
01:12:38	It was quite a view.
01:12:41	So, Del,
01:12:44	were you D.B.'s partner?
01:12:46	And his best friend too.
01:12:49	We've known each other ever since
01:12:53	So...
01:12:57	- Is he still alive?
01:13:00	D.B. Had this plan, see.
01:13:03	When he jumped out of the airplane,
01:13:07	3 degrees northwest
01:13:12	And he had a flashlight.
01:13:15	I'd find him and then we were gonna
01:13:22	I love Rio.
01:13:23	What...? What happened?
01:13:25	It snowed.
01:13:27	A blizzard. You couldn't see anything.
01:13:29	You couldn't see your hand
01:13:31	Hell, I don't know where he landed.
01:13:33	I looked for him for months
01:13:37	so did the cops. No D.B., no money.
01:13:41	But you could've left.
01:13:43	Why'd you stay up here
01:13:45	Seemed like a good idea at the time.
01:13:49	You know what I mean, kid?
01:13:50	Yeah,
01:13:52	- I do.
01:13:54	30 years in a cabin?
01:13:56	- No.
01:13:58	I mean, metaphorically,
01:14:02	Metaphorically, have you ever spent
01:14:05	Ye... No.
01:14:07	Well, then, think before you talk.
01:14:10	Point is, I've spent the best years
01:14:15	playing the harmonica,
01:14:18	and the years have been going
01:14:22	And then all of a sudden,
01:14:24	I was an old man.
01:14:28	Well, I bet you can play the shit
01:14:32	That I can.
01:14:35	Except there's no one around
01:14:38	Piece of advice:
01:14:41	you can spend all of it,
01:14:44	and if you work hard,
01:14:48	But if you waste your time,
01:14:52	you're never gonna get it back.
01:14:56	Whatever it is you fellas
01:14:59	you gotta go out and get it.
01:15:02	And you gotta go right now.
01:15:07	Not right now, you idiots.
01:15:13	Well, you boys get some sleep.
01:15:16	In the morning, I'm gonna point you
01:15:19	get you right off this mountain.
01:15:30	Morning.
01:15:36	Bacon.
01:15:37	Squirrel.
01:15:40	Squirrel.
01:15:44	Nice T-shirt, JJ.
01:15:46	That's my JJ Walker T-shirt.
01:15:50	"Dy-no-mite."
01:15:52	Dy-no-mite.
01:15:55	Dy-no-mite.
01:15:57	Dy-no-mite!
01:15:59	That's too big.
01:16:00	- Bathroom?
01:16:02	Thought so.
01:16:03	Dy-no-mite.
01:16:05	Dy-no-mite.
01:16:07	Creeping me out.
01:16:14	Look at this.
01:16:38	Does a bear shit in the woods?
01:16:42	Hey. Does a bear shit in the woods?
01:16:45	My cell phone.
01:16:47	Does a bear shit in the woods?
01:16:49	- Usually.
01:16:51	I gotta make a quick call,
01:16:53	- Who you gonna call?
01:16:55	Denise.
01:16:59	Hi. Jerry and Denise
01:17:03	If you need Denise,
01:17:12	It's killing time!
01:17:14	Come on, Jerry, get down.
01:17:31	Hey, come on, now. Give me a hand.
01:17:36	Every time I get comfortable.
01:17:38	Listen up. Go due north till
01:17:41	then you go directly west.
01:17:44	- Okay.
01:17:46	you'll come to an old mining trail.
01:17:47	Follow that right down to the bottom
01:17:50	All right.
01:17:53	You go right, I go left.
01:17:55	- Okay.
01:17:57	- Come on,
01:17:59	Have a good life, boys.
01:18:06	- Let's go.
01:18:21	When you peckerwoods get
01:18:25	I'll be waiting.
01:18:30	West is this way.
01:18:31	We're not going west.
01:18:33	Yes, we are. The compass says so.
01:18:35	The compass came out of a cereal box,
01:18:38	Iron. Iron.
01:18:40	What?
01:18:41	Iron ore. There's iron in the hills.
01:18:44	It's throwing off the magnet.
01:18:45	Tell Mr. Wizard that we're still going
01:18:48	Which means Del's compass,
01:18:50	If D.B. Was supposed to land
01:18:53	it would've come off as directly west.
01:18:55	Who cares about D.B.
01:18:56	Which means he would've landed
01:19:04	Oh, my throat, neck, chest.
01:19:10	Guys, I think we found him.
01:19:15	Jesus.
01:19:29	This is him.
01:19:30	This is D.B. Cooper.
01:19:32	It has to be.
01:19:35	He must have broke his legs in the
01:19:39	You poor bastard.
01:19:40	Del was looking for him,
01:19:42	And the snow must have covered up
01:19:48	- We found him.
01:19:51	- I can't believe we did it.
01:19:52	Who else would it be?
01:19:54	This case is empty. The money's gone.
01:19:56	No, look.
01:20:03	He burnt the cash to stay warm.
01:20:05	He traded every dollar
01:20:10	So much for the treasure.
01:20:12	No, that's it.
01:20:15	Being alive, that's the treasure.
01:20:18	Here he is, boys,
01:20:20	the great D.B. Cooper
01:20:23	And we found it, so we get our most
01:20:31	Yeah.
01:20:35	Gentlemen.
01:20:51	Time to leave this stuff behind
01:20:54	Come on, Elwood.
01:21:02	Well, boss. What's the plan now?
01:21:04	First we gotta find our way out
01:21:06	- and then we make a run for it.
01:21:08	No more running.
01:21:10	After everything we've been through,
01:21:13	Dr. Mott has finally run out of things
01:21:17	Do you hear that? I'm not scared
01:21:22	Okay, okay.
01:21:23	We got it, we got it, all right?
01:21:25	Hey, look, there's light coming
01:21:28	- What is that, a tunnel?
01:21:33	We're never getting through there...
01:21:35	...Tom.
01:21:38	- Dano?
01:21:41	No. No way.
01:21:43	What happened to the badass
01:21:45	What happened to running out of
01:21:49	That was... This is just
01:21:53	I can't, I can't, it's a deal-breaker.
01:21:55	This could lead out of here.
01:21:57	Dan, you're the only one small enough
01:22:00	That's what she said.
01:22:05	It's... It's a mine shaft.
01:22:09	It's our only chance, Dano.
01:22:11	Come on, prairie dog.
01:22:13	You can do it.
01:22:17	I don't think that's helping.
01:22:20	Okay.
01:22:24	Come on.
01:22:25	Let's get him like this
01:22:36	Keep going, buddy.
01:22:39	Keep going. There's gotta be light.
01:22:42	I don't think I can.
01:22:44	I don't think I can.
01:22:46	Come on, Dan.
01:22:50	Do you really wanna hurt me?
01:22:56	Do you really wanna make me cry?
01:23:03	Precious kisses, words that burn me
01:23:07	Lovers never ask you why
01:23:11	Do you really wanna hurt me?
01:23:14	Come on, Dano!
01:23:16	Do you really wanna make me cry?
01:23:20	- Quiet.
01:23:25	Lovers never ask you why
01:23:28	- The hills have gone gay.
01:23:30	- It's Culture Club.
01:23:33	- I had a New Wave phase.
01:23:38	Lovers never ask you why
01:23:42	Do you really wanna hurt me?
01:23:46	Hurt me
01:23:49	Do you really want to make me cry?
01:23:54	Yes, we really wanna hurt you
01:23:59	Yes, we really wanna make you cry
01:24:03	Precious kisses, words that burn me
01:24:04	Precious kisses, words that burn me
01:24:07	Lovers never ask you...
01:24:12	How you like me now?
01:24:15	Well, well, well.
01:24:18	We sure gotcha.
01:24:19	I think this is just a misunderstanding.
01:24:21	- That was quite a run you gave us.
01:24:25	What am I doing?
01:24:27	- The game's up.
01:24:28	I have a wonderful idea.
01:24:31	Can I use this, please?
01:24:33	Elwood, that is the best idea
01:24:38	We gotcha now.
01:24:48	How you like me now?
01:24:53	Good work, Dan.
01:24:58	Watch out!
01:25:05	You got them, guys!
01:25:14	Elwood, you all right?
01:25:21	Good one, Jerry. You're awesome!
01:25:22	Stop cheerleading and help, man!
01:25:24	- Right.
01:25:26	- Get him off me.
01:25:29	No!
01:25:32	No biting. No biting!
01:26:04	Gun.
01:26:19	Sheriff.
01:26:20	Sheriff. Thank God you're here.
01:26:23	My friends are in that hole.
01:26:24	And these guys are down there beating
01:26:27	They got us in this hole.
01:26:30	Having a spot of trouble,
01:26:32	Sheriff. I never thought I'd be happy
01:26:35	Give me that.
01:26:37	Hey, hey. Fight's over, fellas.
01:26:40	Come on, Jer. Come up.
01:26:45	- Good work, Dano.
01:26:48	Not quite.
01:26:50	All right, ladies, on your feet.
01:26:54	Jesus, Hank. We were scared
01:26:58	- Oh, I scared you, did I? I scared you?
01:27:01	- It's all about you, isn't it, Elwood?
01:27:03	Well, it's a damn good thing I got here.
01:27:05	You two been shooting up this
01:27:09	chasing these jag-offs.
01:27:11	Nice racket, sheriff. What,
01:27:15	Profits? They work for me, ass-wipe.
01:27:18	What are you gonna tell our families?
01:27:23	Explaining?
01:27:25	We don't have to explain anything.
01:27:27	It's just three more city boys got lost
01:27:32	Hey, I bet they got eaten up
01:27:35	- It's a terrible shame.
01:27:37	- Case closed.
01:27:39	I wanna shoot the little redhead one
01:27:41	Now, look, I'm tired of talking.
01:27:46	Let's get this done with.
01:27:48	Over the edge you go, boys.
01:27:50	- Wait!
01:27:52	Wait, sheriff. Wait, wait, wait.
01:27:53	- Sheriff, I'm gonna shoot them now.
01:27:58	Look,
01:28:01	you and I, we're cut
01:28:03	I mean, we're a lot alike,
01:28:06	Yeah, sure, I'm better with numbers
01:28:10	I have a dental plan that allows me
01:28:18	- Yeah?
01:28:20	the last couple days, getting chased
01:28:24	And that is...
01:28:26	I have two of the best friends
01:28:29	I've got the love of a good woman.
01:28:32	I've got a really good life.
01:28:37	And I've decided that my life's
01:28:41	if your life's worth living too,
01:28:45	you put your gun down.
01:28:47	And if we don't?
01:28:51	- Bye, bye, boys.
01:28:54	- Do this to him.
01:28:58	- That is my grenade, sir.
01:29:00	myself if need be
01:29:03	- I didn't know.
01:29:05	- I'm not a mind reader, Jerry.
01:29:12	Run!
01:29:14	It's gonna blow!
01:29:27	All right, that's it. You're dead.
01:29:29	When all this is over, someone's
01:29:32	- Not it.
01:29:34	Do you think there's beer in heaven?
01:29:37	I was thinking about the bar
01:30:03	- Let's get off this mountain.
01:30:08	These charges are "unsubstantuated"
01:30:14	That's right. We did it.
01:30:17	This is the scene here
01:30:20	as three local heroes emerge
01:30:23	The men accidentally helped break up
01:30:26	in state history while hiking
01:30:31	My old man would not believe this.
01:30:33	- Billy wouldn't believe it.
01:30:36	I think he would.
01:30:38	Oh, my goodness.
01:30:42	- Look at you.
01:30:44	Look at this stud. Del!
01:30:46	No names. Fuzz.
01:30:49	Glad I caught you guys before you
01:30:53	What's this?
01:30:55	- D.B.'s parachute. Are you sure?
01:30:58	There's a little something for you
01:31:00	- Thank you.
01:31:03	Thought I'd see the world.
01:31:06	Wow. One state over.
01:31:09	Till I do, I'm just telling tall tales.
01:31:17	Remember, carry your friends
01:31:21	Close to your heart.
01:31:24	Or on your back.
01:31:27	Thought I'd give him a proper burial.
01:31:31	I spent 30 years
01:31:38	- What the hell?
01:31:41	Oh, my God.
01:31:43	D.B. Didn't burn it all.
01:31:45	He couldn't. It was Del's share.
01:31:48	There's gotta be 100 grand in here.
01:31:50	We'll split it three ways.
01:31:52	One-third, one-third, one-third?
01:31:55	You know what?
01:31:58	No, thanks. I'm...
01:32:01	- I'm good.
01:32:03	You guys split it.
01:32:05	You wanna split it? Fifty-fifty?
01:32:08	Actually, I can't.
01:32:10	Because I bet you 100 grand
01:32:14	with a flashlight and I lost.
01:32:16	Besides, Tom, you got bills to pay.
01:32:20	I don't know what to say.
01:32:23	Just say we're square.
01:32:25	No, actually, we're not square.
01:32:30	I seem to recall a certain part
01:32:34	and I'm gonna get it.
01:32:36	- Hey, Tom. Hey. Hey.
01:32:39	Don't make me go in
01:32:40	- I'm going through the throat.
01:32:43	- No, I didn't.
01:32:45	Jerry! Officer!
01:32:48	Hi. This is Jerry, and I can't
01:32:51	because I am busy trying
01:32:54	to give me another chance.
01:32:56	And I will prove to her
01:32:58	to know that I want the responsibility,
01:33:02	of being there for her
01:33:04	which I am hoping will someday
01:33:08	and a long and unbelievably
01:33:11	Hi, honey.
01:33:37	So happy right now.
01:33:41	That was really, really beautiful.
01:33:50	- Will you get the light, hon?
01:33:56	You're so good at that now.
01:34:01	And then I jumped on the grenade
01:34:05	Blew my rib cage all to shit.
01:34:07	Sent me 156 feet in the air.
01:34:09	Then I went back and paid off
01:34:17	One question.
01:34:19	What's a downstairs?

Without a Paddle