2 Days in Paris

en
00:00:28 (woman) This is us,
00:00:32 Right now we're just exhausted.
00:00:36 We saw palazzos,
00:00:39 We were on a journey to Italy, like
00:00:44 Really, we were mostly in Venice
00:00:50 It's also the city over water
00:00:55 Greens, ochres, pinks, blues,
00:01:00 And the pasta... of course.
00:01:05 Now we're a true couple.
00:01:09 Two years nowadays it's almost a miracle.
00:01:11 Two years of happiness
00:01:15 and in-betweens, mostly.
00:01:18 We just need to pick up Jean-Luc
00:01:21 between the airport and the train station.
00:01:24 Night train to Venice - that was my idea.
00:01:27 So on our way back to New York
00:01:47 (shouting)
00:01:49 Oh, my God!
00:01:50 He'll kill him. He's gonna kill him.
00:01:55 Isn't that the chef who nearly stabbed me
00:01:57 for putting Parmesan cheese
00:02:01 - It wasn't that bad.
00:02:04 - Did you enjoy any of it?
00:02:08 Can we call a cab? It's pouring already.
00:02:10 - It's one drop.
00:02:13 You wanna call a taxi
00:02:16 I can't get sick.
00:02:18 - No signal.
00:02:20 I'll get a sinus infection
00:02:24 - OK, there's a bus stop over there...
00:02:27 No buses, no subways in Europe.
00:02:32 Like it's safer in New York?
00:02:36 Because France has a secret deal
00:02:40 cos France is a Muslim country(!)
00:02:42 You're a fucking psycho.
00:02:46 Excuse me. I heard you talking.
00:02:48 - You're American.
00:02:50 Well, we're a group of
00:02:55 We're supposed to meet our
00:02:59 Do you happen to know
00:03:01 - Oh, yeah, actually you're really close.
00:03:05 It's so close a cab won't take you,
00:03:08 All you do is just go right down there,
00:03:13 and then just keep going straight
00:03:17 - You sure?
00:03:19 I appreciate it so much. Americans are
00:03:24 - It's a cliché, but it's true.
00:03:28 - Well, thank you so much!
00:03:31 - Thank you. Come on, guys.
00:03:38 - No taxi in the area.
00:03:41 What's going on?
00:03:45 They wanted to know where
00:03:48 - You know where it is?
00:03:50 - You told them... But it's miles away.
00:03:54 - See? Survival of the fittest.
00:03:58 - They're your compatriots.
00:04:02 They're on a Da Vinci tour!
00:04:05 of all that's wrong culturally
00:04:08 Maybe they'll see something other than
00:04:14 You're so mean, but you're so bright.
00:04:18 I love you. Ohhh!
00:04:20 You're so smart.
00:04:22 Ugh!
00:04:23 Sinus infection.
00:04:28 Oh, it's automatic.
00:04:34 Can you turn the radio down?
00:04:38 We're exhausted.
00:04:39 Twelve? Where from?
00:04:42 Venice.
00:04:44 Hate the place!
00:04:48 The program about battered wives!
00:04:52 Why?
00:04:53 I had two wives
00:04:56 That's horrible!
00:04:57 Yeah, I was wrong...
00:04:59 (woman) Paris! I was born in the 13th,
00:05:03 lived in the 9th, 10th,
00:05:07 until I moved to New York.
00:05:10 I'm Marion and I'm a photographer.
00:05:14 I have a birth defect on my retina -
00:05:18 How can I describe to you what I see?
00:05:22 There it is - my vision of the world.
00:05:24 Yes, everyone sees the world
00:05:28 So I gave her a good hiding myself.
00:05:30 This is Jack.
00:05:33 "Kids, like rats, carry diseases. "
00:05:37 I thought it was so...
00:05:38 - Look at the light.
00:05:40 It's like a postcard of Paris.
00:05:42 I'm the photographer,
00:05:45 Every moment was digitised,
00:05:49 What's he taking pictures of?
00:05:51 Everything. Absolutely everything.
00:05:54 Another terrorist attack...
00:05:56 Listen to that!
00:05:58 Another fast-food joint
00:06:00 Last week it was two sports stores,
00:06:03 and last month a supermarket.
00:06:05 He's an "anti-globalization
00:06:07 He burns fast food?
00:06:10 It's right here.
00:06:12 - Up here?
00:06:14 - This way?
00:06:17 Elevator?
00:06:18 - What?
00:06:21 It's on the second floor.
00:06:25 Didn't your train get in at nine?
00:06:28 Yeah, but with traffic, strikes...
00:06:32 What? Can't the poor
00:06:36 This isn't America!
00:06:38 You still have that huge suitcase.
00:06:43 You never listen, anyway.
00:06:44 Yes, my mother is a true pain in the butt.
00:06:47 but she's also the reason why
00:06:51 Marion.
00:06:52 Marion? Marion?
00:06:56 Mom, Marion's stuck again!
00:07:04 Marion.
00:07:06 Marion?
00:07:08 Mom, is Marion a retard?
00:07:09 When I was young I was a bit special,
00:07:14 I was always late everywhere
00:07:18 I would look at things in the courtyard,
00:07:21 I even think I could hear voices, but not
00:07:26 Other kinds of voices.
00:07:28 We've got two willies!
00:07:31 Move it!
00:07:33 Some parents would have been
00:07:36 The doctors had prescribed tons of
00:07:41 She got me a Polaroid camera
00:07:44 I just photographed them.
00:08:02 You've always done exactly
00:08:06 And we had to fall in line.
00:08:08 Honey?
00:08:09 Hello, madam.
00:08:10 Oh, bonjour.
00:08:12 Are you OK?
00:08:13 - Yes!
00:08:16 I'm sorry we met so briefly on the way in.
00:08:19 Yes, very short presentation. We had
00:08:24 Jean-Luc.
00:08:26 Give me the pussycat...
00:08:29 Do you do a good voyage?
00:08:30 Oh, yes, very nice. Très bon.
00:08:33 - It was good? It's beautiful.
00:08:36 Come down for lunch at one.
00:08:41 - How's Jean-Luc?
00:08:43 - Au revoir. She's so sweet, your mother.
00:08:45 - What happened to you?
00:08:48 Having a little trouble there, honey?
00:08:51 I need your help. Oh! I need a strong man
00:08:55 Oh, I thought you wanted to be
00:08:58 Yeah, I am a strong, independent woman.
00:09:02 - OK, I got it, I got it.
00:09:05 So your big investment is an apartment
00:09:08 - It's convenient.
00:09:12 - No sarcasm in Paris.
00:09:20 You like? You don't like?
00:09:23 (he chuckles)
00:09:24 - What is it?
00:09:27 - You don't like?
00:09:31 - What?
00:09:33 - It's not mid-century.
00:09:38 No, it's very Parisian, I guess.
00:09:40 - Is that a compliment?
00:09:43 - It's kind of swampy in here.
00:09:46 Yeah, like the water at the Lido.
00:09:49 - No, I can't...
00:09:52 - Oh, my God.
00:09:54 Honey, honey!
00:09:56 - Honey, what the fuck is that?
00:09:59 It's an old building. There's leaks
00:10:06 - Is that black mould?
00:10:08 - The deadliest fungus, if you inhale it.
00:10:11 - It's not funny. I mean, seriously.
00:10:14 It was there when I was here in January.
00:10:20 It's like blue cheese.
00:10:23 OK, everybody out. I'm condemning
00:10:28 - OK, we'll shit in the corner of the room.
00:10:32 Honestly, this place is like
00:10:35 We have allergies
00:10:38 100 years ago we were covered
00:10:42 - Really?
00:10:44 Is that the same theory
00:10:46 Yes.
00:10:48 - You sure you haven't find my lenses?
00:10:51 - In your bag?
00:10:53 Which one for... My dad?
00:10:56 I don't feel well. I can't tell
00:11:01 Can I use this thermometer?
00:11:06 I usually don't use this one in the mouth.
00:11:09 - Hm?
00:11:12 - Come on! What is wrong with you?
00:11:16 Are you five?
00:11:19 It's the only way
00:11:22 - Why? Why, with you? Ugh!
00:11:27 - OK, I take a shower first, all right?
00:11:32 (modem dialling up)
00:11:37 I'm trying to send this design, and
00:11:42 OK.
00:11:45 - You forget how slow dial-up is.
00:11:51 - What?
00:11:53 - It's beautiful.
00:11:57 '86. I don't know.
00:11:59 - Don't move.
00:12:01 - Freeze.
00:12:02 - Looks like Nan Goldin's bed. Stay there.
00:12:06 - No! Oh, God...
00:12:08 Lie down.
00:12:10 Work with me.
00:12:13 - What drug?
00:12:16 (chuckles) Perfect.
00:12:20 Look at that.
00:12:22 Oh, yeah, that's beautiful.
00:12:26 Fuck you.
00:12:29 You know why people
00:12:31 - I try to kiss you and I get a lecture.
00:12:35 - You tell me why.
00:12:38 attract one another, so the offspring
00:12:44 - (snores)
00:12:46 - No, yeah, I was saying the same thing.
00:12:50 - It's like dating public television.
00:12:54 - And you don't like that?
00:12:58 Anyway, it's bullshit. My parents
00:13:02 and look at my immune system -
00:13:04 It was probably an intellectual attraction,
00:13:08 and that's why they split up
00:13:11 You are so sweet. So because your
00:13:15 or whatever it is - 38 years -
00:13:19 I'm not saying that. You make everything
00:13:23 How do I make everything a competition?
00:13:25 For example, I'm a photographer
00:13:29 In Venice, while I was taking a picture
00:13:32 you started taking a picture of me.
00:13:35 What is this, "shit all over Jack day"?
00:13:40 I'm genetically inferior, I'm a copycat
00:13:43 - I never said you were inferior...
00:13:48 - that I'm interested in phot...? Aah!
00:13:52 Can we go on, no, because
00:14:01 What?
00:14:03 - What is it? You're scaring me.
00:14:07 What is it? Like, I have cancer
00:14:12 - I'm like a dog!
00:14:15 No, I'm not a cancer-sniffing dog.
00:14:18 very different immune systems,
00:14:23 Really? Like our immune systems are
00:14:27 Oh, that's nice.
00:14:29 But maybe in the meantime, before we do
00:14:35 - Where are they?
00:14:40 When did you get these?
00:14:44 No, I got them on January.
00:14:47 January? Were you planning on
00:14:50 Actually, I was planning on having sex
00:14:54 due to an eye infection. You were
00:14:57 Oh, yeah, that's right.
00:15:02 yet so sexy.
00:15:04 (Marion screams)
00:15:06 - (Marion) What?
00:15:09 - What is it?
00:15:13 - What else is it?
00:15:15 OK, you're gonna break it.
00:15:19 - These are smaller than the ones in Italy.
00:15:22 - OK, I give up.
00:15:25 - Right, this is pretty simple...
00:15:28 I didn't touch you. Barely.
00:15:32 Is this a kid-sized condom?
00:15:35 - OK, it's on.
00:15:37 - That's the dumbest thing I've heard.
00:15:41 (Marion) Great. All right, yes.
00:15:44 Oh, no, that's my leg... Please!
00:15:46 - No.
00:15:47 I can't see you. I could be having sex
00:15:51 Well, good for you.
00:15:53 OK, so much for foreplay.
00:15:57 - (door opens)
00:16:00 Am I disturbing you?
00:16:01 It's just my mother.
00:16:02 Don't come in,
00:16:04 I came to see
00:16:07 - We'll bring it down later.
00:16:10 - You'll wait downstairs?
00:16:12 Thanks.
00:16:14 Thanks, bye.
00:16:16 - Your mother has keys?
00:16:20 Do you have anything to wash?
00:16:24 No, I don't... I don't have... No...
00:16:27 I gotta take a shower cos the thing
00:16:32 - What are you talking about?
00:16:34 Oh, nice. OK. Bye.
00:16:41 Oui.
00:16:42 Dad?
00:16:43 - Oh, God!
00:16:45 I have to chop it up.
00:16:48 Oh, là, là.
00:16:50 Bon...
00:16:53 All right?
00:16:55 All the sparrows in the garden
00:16:59 Of course.
00:17:02 You think so? But he's so sweet.
00:17:05 Are you kidding?
00:17:06 It's only because we're bigger
00:17:10 that he doesn't eat us alive.
00:17:12 You're so negative!
00:17:13 Hasn't he put on weight?
00:17:16 I had some cans of foie gras
00:17:20 You fed him foie gras?
00:17:21 You know he only eats dry cat food.
00:17:24 I've had him ten years
00:17:27 Fat is bad for animals!
00:17:29 He's enormous!
00:17:31 He's like dad.
00:17:32 You get your hands on someone
00:17:36 They won't let me keep him
00:17:39 That's why I have
00:17:42 They'll put him in the luggage
00:17:45 Lots of animals die
00:17:48 How can you say that? I've taken care
00:17:52 I love this cat
00:17:53 but your dad hates him,
00:17:57 He wanted to kick him out
00:18:00 Calm down.
00:18:02 - They'll put him in a cage!
00:18:04 They're going to kill him!
00:18:06 What's going on?
00:18:08 My mother's always been good at crying,
00:18:13 In a few seconds
00:18:15 and never again will I mention
00:18:19 We couldn't go on vacation
00:18:23 You say Paris is great in summer,
00:18:27 If you upset your mother,
00:18:30 He's fat. He had them chopped off.
00:18:33 That's why I got fat!
00:18:35 I had them chopped off
00:18:39 Bastard!
00:18:40 Salaud!
00:18:44 - ls, uh, everything OK down there?
00:18:49 - No reason.
00:18:51 - We're having lunch in 30 minutes.
00:18:56 All right, let's do this.
00:18:58 - Hello!
00:19:01 - Fine, thanks.
00:19:04 Your other cat!
00:19:08 Insulted already?
00:19:09 Does he understand?
00:19:11 Go.
00:19:14 It's very hot. Watch out.
00:19:17 - Smells good. What is that?
00:19:20 Lapin.
00:19:22 What's lapin?
00:19:25 - Lapin.
00:19:28 - Oh, no.
00:19:30 - Oliver.
00:19:32 My pet bunny when I was eight.
00:19:36 - All that was left was two ears. I'll eat it.
00:19:39 - Yes, I do.
00:19:41 Very good.
00:19:44 - I don't want to upset the natives.
00:19:46 A thigh.
00:19:47 I didn't know about Oliver.
00:19:49 Plate.
00:19:50 A little leg, come on. Looks like chicken.
00:19:53 A small piece.
00:19:58 - Marion?
00:20:00 Oh, the head!
00:20:02 It's good - tête.
00:20:03 For real men!
00:20:05 Real men eat the head.
00:20:07 - Is that the heart?
00:20:10 He likes the head.
00:20:13 - Carottes?
00:20:16 We're gonna eat the bunny's food
00:20:21 Sauce? Wine black... Uh, wine wine.
00:20:28 White wine? Oh, vin blanc.
00:20:30 Vin blanc.
00:20:33 Anna, pass your plate.
00:20:34 - No, no, I don't want.
00:20:36 What a pain in the butt!
00:20:38 Got enough, dad? Is that your diet?
00:20:41 Rabbit is lean meat.
00:20:43 But look how much you're eating!
00:20:46 And look at your fat ass!
00:20:49 This guy is sick in the head!
00:20:51 I've got a fat ass because
00:20:54 Jean not, that's enough!
00:20:59 She's the one bugging us!
00:21:02 - What? I'm eating it!
00:21:04 Shut up, asshole!
00:21:05 Let's be civilized.
00:21:07 He came all this way to meet you.
00:21:10 We'll talk to Jack, then.
00:21:15 We'll talk about
00:21:17 Kerouac?
00:21:18 Kerouac. Yes, I love Kerouac.
00:21:22 Faulkner?
00:21:23 - Is he quizzing me?
00:21:26 - Faulkner?
00:21:29 - Quoi?
00:21:31 Ah, yes. Miller, Henri?
00:21:34 - (Marion) Henry Miller.
00:21:38 - Sex?
00:21:40 Sex is good. Sexus, Plexus...
00:21:44 Dad, don't start!
00:21:46 - What's happening?
00:21:48 Sweetie, it's OK. Don't worry.
00:21:51 French write.
00:21:53 Hm?
00:21:54 - Speak... French writer?
00:21:59 - Now we're doing French writers?
00:22:01 Rimbaud.
00:22:02 Ram-baud, yes. Très bon.
00:22:04 Rambo?
00:22:07 That's how they say it in English.
00:22:09 - Oh, I mispronounced.
00:22:12 What a bunch of idiots!
00:22:14 Please!
00:22:15 Highbrow humour. Hm.
00:22:20 (Jack) Baudelaire.
00:22:23 - Good, good, good.
00:22:25 - Verlaine.
00:22:27 Oh! Bravo.
00:22:30 Not bad!
00:22:32 See!
00:22:33 Et Auguste Renoir - great writer?
00:22:39 - He's a painter!
00:22:43 - He was trying to trick me.
00:22:47 He's not like the morons
00:22:49 Can't fuck with me, man!
00:22:51 Thanks a lot!
00:22:51 With such a weird face
00:22:54 - Maman!
00:22:55 Nothing.
00:22:57 It's Rose.
00:22:59 She's got keys too, huh?
00:23:01 Hi.
00:23:02 It stinks in here!
00:23:03 Sorry, we didn't have time
00:23:06 - Hi, dad.
00:23:08 I got out of work early.
00:23:10 - Hello.
00:23:12 - I'm Rose.
00:23:14 Yeah, nice to meet you.
00:23:16 - As attractive as in the photos!
00:23:19 - Isn't there any coffee?
00:23:22 - See to it, huh?
00:23:25 - She's getting worse.
00:23:28 I can hear you!
00:23:29 - Vous allez faire une balade dans Paris?
00:23:34 Mm-hm. Yeah, yeah.
00:23:37 - I would like to go see the catacombs.
00:23:42 - And the... what? Père...
00:23:44 The catacombs and a cemetery?
00:23:49 It's to see Jim Morrison's grave.
00:23:54 Did I say something tacky?
00:23:57 Alors, vous avez pris des photos
00:24:00 - We took pictures in Venice... didn't we?
00:24:03 - Would you like to see some pictures?
00:24:07 Mom, do you ever use your computer?
00:24:10 No. We asked Rose to teach us but...
00:24:13 I haven't had time.
00:24:14 You didn't show them at all?
00:24:18 You show up, hand out your presents,
00:24:22 But you help people
00:24:25 Once and for all, I help children
00:24:28 not retards!
00:24:30 Hey, you two brats!
00:24:32 Just because you can send e-miles
00:24:37 - This is the Plaza San Marco.
00:24:39 You can put so many photos
00:24:42 Yes, it's digital.
00:24:43 - Yes, bravo, lots of nice photos.
00:24:46 Yeah, I just got the camera for work,
00:24:50 - But why no balloons in these photos?
00:24:53 Rose? Why did you say that?
00:24:55 It's just a joke. He didn't get it.
00:24:59 - Did you show the photos to your sister?
00:25:01 Quoi? No... I... told her about it.
00:25:04 - You're a real pain!
00:25:06 - Oh, yes. Good!
00:25:08 Stop it, dad.
00:25:09 Balloons. Photo balloons.
00:25:10 No, dad, please don't!
00:25:13 What a pain!
00:25:16 Joli.
00:25:17 Nice weenie with balloons!
00:25:20 Balloons?
00:25:22 - Balloons.
00:25:24 - You're unbelievable!
00:25:27 Nice weenie!
00:25:29 Mom!
00:25:31 - Really, Anna!
00:25:34 OK, sweetie, you know it's funny.
00:25:38 Stop being overprotective.
00:25:40 That's a little bird... on the...
00:25:43 - Boat?
00:25:45 Au revoir. Amusez-vous bien.
00:25:48 Drop by your dad's art gallery.
00:25:57 Homosexuals! It's just not right.
00:25:59 It's disgusting!
00:26:01 Huh, Kiki? You wouldn't do that.
00:26:03 (snorts)
00:26:04 Nice snorting(!)
00:26:07 - You used to like my snorting.
00:26:10 - After two years it gets a little tired?
00:26:15 After that, there was no need
00:26:18 - Now it discusses you?
00:26:20 Discuss me would be
00:26:23 I'm sorry. I speak four languages, OK?
00:26:26 Which one of them do you speak well?
00:26:32 For all I know, you could be stupid
00:26:36 (Jack) I'm not a big death fan,
00:26:40 - I know. All the Parisians are dead here.
00:26:45 - Je-rr t'aime.
00:26:48 - Je t'aime.
00:26:49 Je t'aime.
00:26:51 It's French, it's easy.
00:26:54 - Où est le steakfr-khrr-ites?
00:26:57 Où est le steak-frites? Hm?
00:27:00 Oh, it's so ugly when you speak French.
00:27:04 Why are we even going there? Jim
00:27:08 No, it's a famous grave though.
00:27:12 You take your photo and we go, OK?
00:27:16 Pardon. Oh, pardon.
00:27:20 - We're getting the party started.
00:27:23 Are you all right, miss?
00:27:27 - Come on, I'm a free spirit.
00:27:30 - Super cool.
00:27:33 I can't believe the catacombs were closed.
00:27:37 Oh, well.
00:27:39 I can't believe we've not run into
00:27:43 What about the Collective Dynamics
00:27:47 "Collective Dynamics of the 'Small-World'
00:27:51 Everywhere we went he was
00:27:55 It's very simple: our world is small and
00:27:59 there is a high probability you will bump
00:28:04 Scientifically it is proven
00:28:08 We are a whole
00:28:10 The illusion of chaos in which we live
00:28:15 But it's a theory, and Jack spent our two
00:28:19 and nothing.
00:28:21 Manu!
00:28:22 - Marion? Amazing!
00:28:24 I was talking about you...
00:28:26 - Only today.
00:28:28 So what's new?
00:28:30 - Well, my book's just come out...
00:28:34 No, short stories. But... linked.
00:28:37 Great!
00:28:38 This is Jack. Manu.
00:28:40 - Nice to meet you.
00:28:42 - You speak French?
00:28:45 So that's it? You've settled
00:28:48 For now, yeah.
00:28:55 What?
00:28:57 Are you going to Vanessa's tonight?
00:29:00 - Yes, for sure.
00:29:03 - We're going to my friend's party tonight.
00:29:06 You haven't changed, it's amazing.
00:29:08 It's like time has stood still.
00:29:10 - Stop it!
00:29:13 Cut the bullshit.
00:29:16 - You look gorgeous.
00:29:19 - I swear.
00:29:21 Well, we'd better go.
00:29:24 - Jeannot. Say hello for me.
00:29:30 - Nice to meet you, man.
00:29:35 - "That was nice, homey"?
00:29:38 - Let's get a cab, huh?
00:29:42 So what's the deal? That guy was
00:29:46 - with a fork and knife...
00:29:48 I know, but you're my leg of lamb.
00:29:51 We met many years ago
00:29:54 I think I gave him a blow job - no big deal.
00:29:58 - Really? A blow job's no big deal?
00:30:01 It's no big deal in comparison to
00:30:04 There's George Bush,
00:30:08 And there's a blow job. You know
00:30:13 - Nice transition.
00:30:16 Yeah. I'd say it's not minor, if you wanna
00:30:22 A blow job, after all, brought down the
00:30:30 Do we have to go to this thing tonight?
00:30:33 You don't wanna go? We don't have to,
00:30:36 OK, no, it's fine.
00:30:39 I'm friends with some of my ex.
00:30:43 This guy is a really wonderful writer/poet.
00:30:47 A French poet.
00:30:50 You're not friends with any of your exes?
00:30:52 - No.
00:30:56 - When it was over, it was over.
00:31:00 you would not like to see me ever again?
00:31:02 If I ran into you, I wouldn't avoid you,
00:31:06 So that means you don't think I'm likeable
00:31:10 Yeah, basically.
00:31:13 Interesting. I'd like to be your friend
00:31:16 - Oh, when?
00:31:19 - I'd like you even if we were not together.
00:31:24 That's the way we do it in France -
00:31:28 France is responsible for so much
00:31:31 - How does the government feel?
00:31:34 Can we stop at a pharmacy?
00:31:36 My head is killing me.
00:31:40 - We can get codeine over the counter?
00:31:42 No? Why no?
00:31:44 Because it's France. You can't buy opiates
00:31:50 OK, there's no taxi here. Let's go. Maybe
00:31:56 - This is the bridge.
00:31:59 Stop there. Right there. You're doing
00:32:04 I'm not doing Brando.
00:32:07 Cos you look more like Brando than I do.
00:32:10 Fingers in the ear, and then back.
00:32:14 You're very upset. Here we go - agh.
00:32:18 - Aaaaagh!
00:32:20 - You know what?
00:32:22 Taking pictures all the time
00:32:25 It automatically
00:32:28 For our trip to Venice
00:32:32 But, instead of kissing on the gondola,
00:32:37 Instead of holding hands
00:32:40 Jack took 72 pictures
00:32:43 Et cetera, et cetera.
00:32:55 Which one of these looks more Godard?
00:32:58 - Uh...
00:33:01 Or Go-dahd?
00:33:02 Black.
00:33:04 - How do I look?
00:33:08 is how do I look?
00:33:10 - OK.
00:33:12 - You look really good, actually.
00:33:15 You look fat, but you look good.
00:33:19 Without your glasses,
00:33:22 - I know. I find my contacts, finally.
00:33:26 - Huh?
00:33:30 Manu?
00:33:32 Hey, we're gonna pass by
00:33:37 Because I think you might like it.
00:33:40 - Do you read the Bible?
00:33:52 You have this in the Bible.
00:33:55 Oh, that's, uh... Oh, yeah.
00:33:57 - Uh... oh.
00:34:00 - Ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:34:03 - Yeah, yeah(!)
00:34:06 - It's, uh, whatshisname?
00:34:10 - He's the boyfriend of my best friend...
00:34:14 Jean-Philippe... Jean-Louis.
00:34:16 - Jean-François!
00:34:19 That's not an ex-boyfriend. That's a friend.
00:34:22 It was the 14th July, he was drunk,
00:34:26 You should see around him.
00:34:29 You don't think it's offensive
00:34:32 - What?
00:34:35 As what?
00:34:37 - As what?
00:34:41 It's not at all. These are blue, white
00:34:45 Is this the equivalent of mounting
00:34:49 but instead you take pictures
00:34:52 Are there more? If I look through all of
00:34:58 - Will it start raining balloons on cocks?
00:35:02 Come on. It's no big deal.
00:35:05 No, I just feel really... special.
00:35:07 You're special to me. That photo we did
00:35:11 This one was like, I was drunk,
00:35:16 - Yeah.
00:35:18 Like in the retarded way,
00:35:23 - (Marion) You OK, booby?
00:35:25 Are you American?
00:35:27 He is, I'm French.
00:35:30 Cool! I love New York.
00:35:32 I went last year.
00:35:35 - Cool, man.
00:35:39 - Are you married?
00:35:42 - Do you have children?
00:35:44 Really? How old are you?
00:35:45 We're all friends here, right?
00:35:48 Yeah. I'm 35.
00:35:50 Don't wait too long.
00:35:53 No, it's me.
00:35:54 No, no... I don't believe that.
00:35:57 All women want children.
00:36:00 If he doesn't want to,
00:36:02 I can help!
00:36:05 I make beautiful kids.
00:36:08 or a George Clooney.
00:36:10 You know who to call.
00:36:11 He's just saying
00:36:14 Hm, that's funny.
00:36:16 I'm just saying because...
00:36:19 You look like
00:36:21 She's married to that guy
00:36:23 I look like Catherine Zeta-Jones.
00:36:26 That's the one!
00:36:28 (snorts) Great, we have a blind cab driver.
00:36:31 But I'm blonde
00:36:33 But you've got exactly
00:36:37 You're like twin sisters.
00:36:40 Except you're more beautiful,
00:36:59 - Jack.
00:37:01 - He's the artist.
00:37:03 - Oh, fucking angels.
00:37:06 Hugo is fucking the ass
00:37:11 '68, at the barricades!
00:37:13 Bam, bam, bam!
00:37:15 That's Anna,
00:37:20 They shared the same woman for a while.
00:37:23 - Of course they did.
00:37:25 Amant, amant. L'amant, l'amant.
00:37:27 - (Marion) Lover. The lover.
00:37:31 - They are all touching each other. It's...
00:37:36 Sure, you've gotta have chicken.
00:37:41 - Jeannot, Jeannot.
00:37:45 - French!
00:37:47 Marion, "migraine"?
00:37:50 He gets headaches.
00:37:51 Speak French, goddammit!
00:37:53 Are you nuts?
00:37:57 Red wine gives him migraines.
00:37:59 - The exhibition's fabulous, dad.
00:38:03 - It's a man who's pregnant having a baby.
00:38:07 Hermaphrodite.
00:38:09 Dad, show him my favorites.
00:38:13 I'll leave you with Jack.
00:38:16 But we can't understand each other.
00:38:18 - Heu, pigs.
00:38:20 - Pigs with some sort of salami.
00:38:24 - What?
00:38:28 Aah, aah! Aah, aah, aah!
00:38:30 Marion? Marion?
00:38:32 - Yes? What's going on?
00:38:35 Cunnilingus. Cunnilingus. French.
00:38:38 - Cunnilingus.
00:38:44 Where you going?
00:38:45 - How are you?
00:38:47 Yeah, fine.
00:38:55 Goodbye, Jack. See you soon.
00:38:59 Hein? Au revoir.
00:39:13 (door opens)
00:39:16 - Oh, hey.
00:39:17 - Where you going?
00:39:20 - Yeah.
00:39:22 I think it's wrong what Marion did,
00:39:29 - Yeah, well...
00:39:32 It showed no respect
00:39:37 Intimity? Oh, intimacy. Yeah.
00:39:41 No?
00:39:42 Ce tableau là-bas...
00:39:44 (man) Si on était dans l'expression de
00:39:50 - Take care.
00:39:58 - What are you doing?
00:40:02 - I know. It's hot. You wanna go?
00:40:05 - You say goodbye to my dad?
00:40:07 - OK. You OK?
00:40:12 I think it was really wrong
00:40:15 It shows a total lack of respect
00:40:19 Oh, your picture! But it's so funny.
00:40:22 It's totally inappropriate!
00:40:25 My dad loved it.
00:40:27 From the work in his gallery it doesn't
00:40:33 - Come on.
00:40:36 There is no chance
00:40:40 - Everyone's happy.
00:40:44 - Hm?
00:40:47 It's OK. It's all right.
00:41:04 It's OK.
00:41:26 I got it.
00:41:35 Didn't work.
00:41:36 Maybe another face?
00:41:51 (music and laughter)
00:41:56 - Ça va?
00:42:01 - Hello, bonjour.
00:42:05 - Nice to meet you.
00:42:08 - What's your name?
00:42:10 New boyfriend? Uh, not that new,
00:42:14 Somewhat used, yeah.
00:42:17 Hi.
00:42:19 - Are you OK?
00:42:21 - I'm eating hot dogs, I've got a beer.
00:42:25 - You want some more food?
00:42:28 OK, fine.
00:42:31 She still breast-feeds me,
00:42:35 Elves came to help me one day
00:42:39 and they found it for me.
00:42:40 - Bullshit!
00:42:43 By the way, did you notice how
00:42:48 like they have that horrible cut, you know?
00:42:52 The subway ticket.
00:42:55 - Subway ticket?
00:42:59 - It's a narrow rectangle.
00:43:02 - I hate it.
00:43:04 It's horrible.
00:43:06 - I actually call it "Hitler's moustache".
00:43:10 When you look at the thing like this
00:43:15 It always makes my cock back away.
00:43:19 - No? It's not the right term?
00:43:26 - You know when it gets scared or cold?
00:43:31 Maybe Americans
00:43:34 You're never scared of
00:43:38 (laughs)
00:43:40 And, by the way, I'm Mathieu.
00:43:45 - Hey, sweetie.
00:43:50 - Ça va, toi?
00:43:52 I saw you from over there.
00:43:53 You're doing an exhibition?
00:43:56 A bit more conceptual.
00:43:58 Sort of Bill Viola,
00:44:00 but more sexual!
00:44:04 Manu!
00:44:04 - What?
00:44:06 - He's a really interesting artist.
00:44:10 - No!
00:44:12 That'd be a record.
00:44:15 - Oh, Manu!
00:44:18 No, I want to. I love Manu.
00:44:21 I always thought that a small lie, if it has
00:44:26 is not really a lie.
00:44:28 You have to make a diagram, evaluating
00:44:33 D - C E I T
00:44:35 and especially if there's a chance
00:44:37 - Hey!
00:44:39 - Oh! OK. Sure, OK.
00:44:42 - Not much. How you doin'?
00:44:44 - She told you we used to be together?
00:44:47 But it was, like, 1 5 years ago,
00:44:53 - She was 19.
00:44:56 I gave her her first orgasm
00:45:00 Oh, no, this is rude. I know when I'm rude,
00:45:04 Oh, no, no, no. Hey, look, you paved
00:45:07 - I drink to that.
00:45:11 Anyway, it wasn't even
00:45:15 - More like brother and sister.
00:45:19 - Yeah, no big deal.
00:45:22 I have to just go get the... the thing...
00:45:25 I love that guy. Go get it.
00:45:27 - What is it?
00:45:30 - Who?
00:45:32 No! Well, yeah... Just vaguely.
00:45:36 Vaguely? What is that, just the tip?
00:45:38 - I don't see what the point of lying is.
00:45:41 You did. Not to mention he told me he was
00:45:47 - Sound familiar?
00:45:48 - Rings a bell?
00:45:52 - Right, which is exactly what you told me.
00:45:55 - Oh, my God.
00:45:57 - Is it amnesia?
00:46:02 Please, don't be jealous. You knew
00:46:06 OK, that's not what I'm talking about.
00:46:10 OK, I'm gonna get some dip.
00:46:12 I'm a child psychologist. I work with
00:46:19 - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:46:23 Yeah, that happens.
00:46:26 One time - I have to tell you this story -
00:46:32 - and I had to go to the toilets.
00:46:35 And when I came back
00:46:39 Oh-oh, that little...
00:46:42 - rat. He had peed on it.
00:46:45 I was so... I was so mad.
00:46:49 The only thing I could think about
00:46:54 I just wanted to cut it off.
00:46:56 - Quit your job or...?
00:46:59 - I wanted to cut off his little penis.
00:47:23 I really like this salad.
00:47:27 I can't take it.
00:47:30 - You go to the temple sometimes?
00:47:35 My mother was brought up Catholic,
00:47:39 - so technically not Jewish.
00:47:43 You're a happy, hairy, Jewish man.
00:47:45 Do you think Hitler would have let you go
00:47:49 Doesn't change anything.
00:47:53 OK, all right. Yeah, I never liked camp.
00:47:57 By the way, I'll be in your apartment
00:48:01 - We got a real small one-bedroom.
00:48:05 I feel that I'm your brother,
00:48:10 Does that mean that what's mine is yours?
00:48:13 - If you wanna give, I'll take it.
00:48:17 Let me just explain something to you.
00:48:21 And in America what's mine is mine.
00:48:27 Don't trespass.
00:48:31 - Ha, ha! OK?
00:48:33 I like that man. See you in August.
00:48:37 You told this paranoid crazy person
00:48:40 - No, I said he could stay if we were away.
00:48:47 I was talking to Jack.
00:48:49 Yeah, nice.
00:48:50 Not uptight, not too American.
00:48:53 Tattoos all over,
00:48:57 Well, he's been in jail so...
00:49:00 - A financial thing? Enron...
00:49:03 Homicide. First-degree murder.
00:49:06 This guy was staying
00:49:09 Jack was 19 and he...
00:49:11 He has anger-management issues.
00:49:14 He invited me to stay
00:49:17 I wasn't sure I'd be able
00:49:19 That sucks!
00:49:20 I'm going to get another drink.
00:49:27 I wanna remember the least romantic day
00:49:34 All these off-the wall projects,
00:49:37 I had to, I had to...
00:49:39 These old perverts wanted me
00:49:42 That's disgusting.
00:49:44 You didn't have to blow anyone
00:49:47 - In art you don't have to blow?
00:49:52 - You have to lick a bit!
00:49:58 She's totally empty now.
00:50:02 Shit!
00:50:03 My contact lens.
00:50:10 There it is.
00:50:17 - You got it?
00:50:18 Great!
00:50:21 I'll put it back in.
00:50:24 Hey, are you OK?
00:50:55 Marion?
00:51:01 Marion?
00:51:06 - Oh, my God... Oh, sweetie.
00:51:09 - I don't feel good. I don't feel good.
00:51:13 The mussels.
00:51:15 I've just remembered, I'm allergic.
00:51:18 I ate mussels, didn't l?
00:51:19 No, no, we had mussels
00:51:23 But it was American mussels.
00:51:26 - Someone call 911! Is it 911 here?
00:51:29 I'm allergic to French mussels.
00:51:30 Call "Je-suis-allergique-moolah"!
00:51:32 - Wait.
00:51:33 - I don't have a pulse.
00:51:36 I don't have a pulse!
00:51:38 - I'm dead!
00:51:41 (screaming)
00:51:43 (beeping)
00:51:46 You had a dizzy spell!
00:51:47 - I had no pulse!
00:51:50 I had something stuck in my throat,
00:51:54 I'm allergic to French mussels,
00:51:59 You ate too much, that's all.
00:52:01 - Drink some water...
00:52:03 Get some fresh air, you'll be fine.
00:52:05 Your blood pressure's perfect.
00:52:07 Jack! I'm alive, booby.
00:52:09 Yeah, I know you are.
00:52:12 - Yes.
00:52:14 (moans meekly)
00:52:16 Hey, do you have anything for sinuses?
00:52:19 Actually, no. But she'll be fine,
00:52:23 Yeah, I know.
00:52:26 Another Arab. The last one I took
00:52:31 The other day I had some Germans.
00:52:33 Never again!
00:52:34 They had sausages in their bags.
00:52:37 Nothing but Romanian scum!
00:52:39 Did you enjoy talking to my sister?
00:52:42 I mean, you barely spoke to anyone else.
00:52:44 That's not true. I talked to
00:52:50 They were charming.
00:52:52 Charming as in "charming"?
00:52:55 - No, they were lovely.
00:52:59 Where's your friend from?
00:53:02 He's American.
00:53:04 American?
00:53:05 - You don't speak English.
00:53:08 - You don't speak many languages.
00:53:12 I speak French, that's enough, OK?
00:53:14 You don't want us in your taxi
00:53:19 Who do you pick up in your taxi?
00:53:24 Arabs? No, you don't like Arabs.
00:53:26 The Romanians?
00:53:29 And gas the Jews!
00:53:30 Hey, I never said that!
00:53:32 Gas chambers were an invention
00:53:36 Are you sick in the head?
00:53:38 Hey, dumb blonde,
00:53:42 You're the fucking dumb blond!
00:53:44 - Hey, hey.
00:53:47 We're dealing with a fucking psychopath,
00:53:52 and that's OK because you know what?
00:53:57 Welcome to France.
00:54:01 - Ça va, sweetie?
00:54:03 We're getting out here.
00:54:05 Before you get out you pay me,
00:54:10 We'll pay you, asshole!
00:54:13 You shut your mouth!
00:54:16 - I'll kick your ass!
00:54:18 Uh, over here. Whoa.
00:54:21 You with the beard, shut up!
00:54:23 I'm just gonna find a spot to park,
00:54:26 and then we'll have a talk...
00:54:30 We're gonna talk
00:54:32 - No, I said you, little woman!
00:54:36 Because I heard
00:54:40 Thank you so much.
00:54:44 Thank you.
00:54:46 - Goodnight.
00:54:47 - Good night. Thanks.
00:54:50 Bitch! Go get fucked
00:54:51 - What is wrong with you?
00:54:57 When we get back to the States
00:55:00 an anger-management-slash-rehab clinic.
00:55:03 I didn't even get angry.
00:55:09 At least Rose is alive.
00:55:14 Smells like lamb in here.
00:55:16 - This whole city smells like lamb.
00:55:20 What is this?
00:55:22 - Did your mother do this?
00:55:25 - Oh, that's sweet.
00:55:31 She irons jeans? Who irons jeans?
00:55:33 Ironing jeans is her favourite thing
00:55:39 - You know.
00:55:41 But eventually her mother habits
00:55:50 - (Jack) OK, this is what I'm talking about.
00:55:54 - I know.
00:55:57 Yeah, cos you always wanna get on top.
00:55:59 What do you mean?
00:56:02 That's how you like to do it,
00:56:07 You're not?
00:56:08 I'm serious. For all this talk about
00:56:13 being pieces of meat
00:56:16 it's men who are pieces of meat.
00:56:18 It's true, cos there's such emphasis
00:56:22 What's the best position for the woman?
00:56:27 I really feel for you. It must be horrible
00:56:32 I really support your cause.
00:56:36 - I'm not in the mood any more.
00:56:38 How d'you want me to have sex with you?
00:56:42 - Let's do it from behind.
00:56:45 OK? I wanna do it on top and you keep...
00:56:50 I've been rejected. You know what it is
00:56:54 No, it's over. I'll probably never eat again.
00:56:59 - No, no, no.
00:57:01 - We haven't made love the entire trip.
00:57:06 I was on the bowl! Did you wanna mount
00:57:10 Don't. I can't hear you say
00:57:13 I'm too tired to fight.
00:57:16 I'm gonna sleep with the cat.
00:57:21 (people speaking German/cat purring)
00:57:52 Jeannot, there's water everywhere!
00:57:54 - What? What?
00:57:57 - They're screaming.
00:58:00 - Look at the carpet!
00:58:05 - What is it?
00:58:07 I'll cut the electricity.
00:58:10 They're on their way.
00:58:12 They told me to turn off the water.
00:58:16 I've no idea!
00:58:20 - She knows?
00:58:22 Oh, there's a water pipe
00:58:25 - They're on their way.
00:58:28 - (moans) Who?
00:58:31 - Oh. I've got a hangover.
00:58:35 - Mom, do you need help?
00:58:38 OK.
00:58:40 Bonjour.
00:58:42 Sorry, we're firemen, not plumbers.
00:58:44 Shit, shit!
00:58:46 Sorry about my mom.
00:58:48 You live upstairs?
00:58:50 Yes, upstairs.
00:58:53 They have awesome fire trucks!
00:58:57 Fucking shit!
00:58:58 Those are great sweaters.
00:59:01 It's our uniform, given to us.
00:59:03 I think you can find them
00:59:07 (dripping water)
00:59:10 - It's nice wool.
00:59:12 - It's great wool.
00:59:14 Yeah, go on!
00:59:17 Not bad, huh?
00:59:18 Good quality!
00:59:20 Scottish wool!
00:59:26 What are they still doing here?
00:59:28 Help me instead of flirting!
00:59:31 We'd better go. Thanks.
00:59:36 Next time we'll call a plumber,
00:59:40 - Have a nice day.
00:59:43 Oh, hey, guys. How you doin'?
00:59:46 - Salut.
00:59:48 Um... can I touch too?
00:59:51 - You... hm?
00:59:53 - Heu...
00:59:55 - Ça va, ça va.
00:59:59 - Bonne journée.
01:00:02 Ooh!
01:00:04 Nice.
01:00:05 Something wrong with that guy!
01:00:11 Wow.
01:00:13 It's finally under control.
01:00:16 - I bet you are!
01:00:20 Coming.
01:00:21 Bring your American to the market,
01:00:24 I'll have a shower first.
01:00:27 - Do you want to come? To the market?
01:00:30 - Spend some alone-time with your dad.
01:00:34 How do I know? He speaks French.
01:00:36 It's one of my favourite things to do.
01:00:40 - Yes, yes, yes. OK.
01:00:45 - Then we'll go to brunch.
01:00:51 Chaute.
01:00:53 - Chaud.
01:00:55 - Shout. Shout.
01:00:58 - Chochotte.
01:01:02 - Did you like visiting Paris?
01:01:05 Il aime Jim Morrison?
01:01:07 - Do you like Jim Morrison?
01:01:11 - So why did he go to see his grave?
01:01:15 It's a touristical thing.
01:01:16 - Does he know?
01:01:20 I'll take this opportunity
01:01:22 The next time you go on vacation,
01:01:26 - leave your cat somewhere else.
01:01:29 What's the problem?
01:01:30 Every day at 5 am
01:01:35 I told you he likes running water.
01:01:40 He just keyed a car.
01:01:41 That cat is low maintenance.
01:01:43 Worse than a kid.
01:01:45 - Are you going to have one?
01:01:48 - What is it, sweetie?
01:01:50 Look how this one's parked!
01:01:52 - Well, it's right on the sidewalk!
01:01:56 - Is it legal here to key the car?
01:02:02 Look at that one!
01:02:03 - What? Oh, no.
01:02:06 - Well, stop the man.
01:02:11 Dad, stop it!
01:02:14 You're making Jack uncomfortable.
01:02:17 - Can we pick up the pace a little?
01:02:20 - He doesn't like cars.
01:02:24 - Pollution.
01:02:25 - Pollution.
01:02:35 Cornflowers.
01:02:36 Yes, cornflowers.
01:02:40 I won't pay you with my body today,
01:02:44 No sleep. No sleep.
01:02:47 - No sleep?
01:02:49 - Wait a minute. No sleep.
01:02:51 "Sleep" not "slip"!
01:02:55 - Oh, là, là.
01:02:57 Oh, God! Oh, my God!
01:02:59 Pig.
01:03:00 He was suckling last night.
01:03:01 - Oh, my God. That's so disturbing.
01:03:05 - Ah, it's so sad.
01:03:10 - What's that tongue?
01:03:12 - Langue. Lllll-angue.
01:03:14 - Tongue of veal. Look at this.
01:03:20 (chuckles) Oh!
01:03:22 - Agneau de lait.
01:03:24 Agneau de lait. Baah! Baah!
01:03:27 - Oh.
01:03:29 That's sweet the way he personifies
01:03:33 (Jeannot) Vous me gardez la tête.
01:03:36 - I'm not doing so well.
01:03:38 Yeah. I feel like I might
01:03:42 - OK, cos you're feeling a little sick.
01:03:47 I'm getting paranoid - all the skinned
01:03:52 I'm sick.
01:03:55 - He has a bit of a cold.
01:03:59 I'm sorry. But I love this place very much.
01:04:02 OK, OK. You take care.
01:04:05 OK. All right. You feel better.
01:04:07 - You've got the keys, right?
01:04:09 Au revoir.
01:04:11 - He's sick?
01:04:14 Let's go
01:04:25 1 new message
01:04:49 You're not going to tell your mother
01:04:52 (sighs) I shouldn't do this.
01:04:55 You make me as hard as wood!
01:05:02 (door opens)
01:05:05 Hello, madam.
01:05:06 Sorry, I thought
01:05:08 Oh, they're still at the market.
01:05:12 I washed your shirts.
01:05:14 Thanks very much.
01:05:15 That's so nice of you.
01:05:18 Jeannot very angry with me.
01:05:22 Mad at me, because of Jim Morrison.
01:05:26 - He doesn't like the Doors?
01:05:33 Yes.
01:05:34 You...?
01:05:37 - Oui.
01:05:40 I had a short affair with him.
01:05:43 In '69.
01:05:45 Many people were very happy
01:05:50 No Aids, no death...
01:05:52 Sex fun. Everyone with everyone.
01:05:54 Oh!
01:06:00 (clears throat) No, that's a beautiful story.
01:06:03 And do you know after?
01:06:05 Abortion movement...
01:06:07 - For women?
01:06:11 The 343 Bitches movement...
01:06:13 I was one. Do you know that?
01:06:15 I was one of the bitches!
01:06:16 Oh, I see, I see.
01:06:17 Can you pass me the cat, please?
01:06:20 - Oh, Jean-Luc? Oh, I think he's...
01:06:25 - Au revoir.
01:06:26 Au revoir. Merci.
01:06:31 You got the door?
01:06:35 Unbelievable.
01:06:44 Lovely flowers, miss!
01:06:46 Stop hitting
01:06:50 - Hitting on them?
01:06:53 I only hit on pretty girls!
01:06:57 You loved it, you hussy
01:07:09 I'm your salami for life
01:07:22 - What music would you like?
01:07:25 Brel, Ferre, Trenet,
01:07:28 Barbara.
01:07:29 - Whatever you prefer.
01:07:33 (# "La complainte du progrès"
01:07:35 It's Music Day today.
01:07:39 It's, like, people play around,
01:07:42 - Oh.
01:07:45 We should walk around, no?
01:07:52 Grizzly.
01:08:05 - You brought your camera.
01:08:13 And tons of cake servers
01:08:15 A 10-speed blender
01:08:18 Just for your vinaigrettes
01:08:21 A beautiful air-purifier
01:08:24 That eats all smells
01:08:27 Heated blankets
01:08:30 An airplane for two
01:08:32 And we'll be happy!
01:08:34 - What are you gonna eat?
01:08:37 - You don't wanna eat anything?
01:08:40 - You sure?
01:08:48 Hi.
01:08:55 Still writing
01:08:59 - What?
01:09:01 - D'you know those guys?
01:09:04 OK, Edouard?
01:09:06 At least you're faithful
01:09:09 Shall we go?
01:09:11 Have you decided?
01:09:13 - Can I just get a bowl of ground glass?
01:09:17 A beer, please.
01:09:19 An omelet.
01:09:20 Une omelette.
01:09:22 - C'est parti.
01:09:26 How was your trip
01:09:29 I'm Jack.
01:09:31 Gael.
01:09:33 Edouard.
01:09:33 Enchanté.
01:09:35 - That's how we do it in America.
01:09:38 OK.
01:09:40 The trip you dumped me for,
01:09:43 Let's go.
01:09:45 Ex-pats never get over
01:09:48 It's like former colonials.
01:09:50 Life's so good there.
01:09:52 so gentle, so young.
01:09:55 Finished?
01:09:56 It speaks!
01:09:57 You've grown some balls.
01:09:58 Interesting!
01:10:00 You couldn't handle me
01:10:01 What I couldn't handle
01:10:04 But I better not say.
01:10:05 - Should I leave?
01:10:08 Why don't you just tell me what's
01:10:11 OK. This is fun.
01:10:13 You're not that dull.
01:10:17 You weren't my type, period.
01:10:19 Wanna know what his type is?
01:10:21 Shut up!
01:10:21 (Jack) OK... OK...
01:10:23 Non, ça va. Tout va bien.
01:10:25 No, I'm not his type.
01:10:29 and screwed 12-year-olds!
01:10:32 A 30-year-old is less sexy
01:10:35 You're crazy,
01:10:38 Oh, yes, I forgot.
01:10:40 He explained to me.
01:10:41 We judge it with our Western minds.
01:10:44 It's different over there.
01:10:46 It's normal for women
01:10:50 It's their culture. You shouldn't
01:10:54 It's true.
01:10:55 You pretend to help the Third World
01:10:59 Just because I ditched you!
01:11:02 All I wanted was a chick
01:11:05 A 12-year-old
01:11:07 But I don't!
01:11:08 Edouard, he screwed
01:11:11 on vacation.
01:11:13 - (gasps theatrically)
01:11:15 Oh, darn it!
01:11:17 He didn't... You never told him?
01:11:19 Oh, I'm sorry, really!
01:11:21 Shut up,
01:11:22 cunt!
01:11:27 - What's going on? What are you doing?
01:11:30 - What are you doing?
01:11:35 I'm calm now.
01:11:37 I'm OK, sweetie. I'm OK. I'm totally cool.
01:11:40 Everything's in contro...
01:11:43 That's enough!
01:11:44 (shouting)
01:11:46 - We didn't break anything.
01:11:50 This shows France in a great light!
01:11:56 Tourists!
01:11:57 - What?
01:11:59 - I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.
01:12:03 - Don't say that!
01:12:06 - Are you Mike Tyson?
01:12:08 - I'm dating Mike Tyson.
01:12:10 (stutters)
01:12:12 It was a guy I dated that did something so
01:12:19 - It was not like a regular thing.
01:12:22 Seven... seven... seven years ago.
01:12:24 Seven years ago!
01:12:29 He did something despicable.
01:12:32 He's part of this bourgeoisie.
01:12:35 - Here we go. Right, OK.
01:12:38 - I don't care, I don't care!
01:12:43 I don't care. It doesn't warrant
01:12:45 You have an impulse-control disorder and
01:12:51 I was in control. I was just...
01:12:55 I was...
01:12:56 OK, I was angry,
01:13:00 I lost my temper cos he did something
01:13:06 - You know how to pick 'em, honey.
01:13:10 You think it was wrong to throw us out?
01:13:15 - They don't shoot people in France.
01:13:19 But anyway, um, so...
01:13:22 - So that was another ex?
01:13:25 All right. No big deal. Run into a couple
01:13:30 - Yeah, why would it be a big deal?
01:13:34 - Yes, of course.
01:13:37 - What?
01:13:39 - Who?
01:13:45 - What?
01:13:48 I left my phone in Paris. It's why I picked it
01:13:53 So... so... My mom gave it to my sister,
01:13:59 - So he left it for my sister, the messages.
01:14:04 Um, try this one with slightly more feeling.
01:14:08 Honestly! You must think
01:14:12 You expect me to believe we're a victim
01:14:17 And your sister, you're gonna turn into
01:14:21 She's busy turning children
01:14:25 OK, you're right. I did have a thing
01:14:30 but it was nothing serious.
01:14:34 - It means nothing.
01:14:37 That there is a small-world theory,
01:14:41 And it wasn't two years ago.
01:14:45 but I know that they were in January
01:14:49 What means "lick pussy"?
01:14:52 You sicko!
01:14:53 - They were bad. He didn't like them.
01:14:57 You know, he kept on sending me
01:15:02 He keeps sending messages.
01:15:06 Let me translate the humour to you.
01:15:10 So you lie? You lie?
01:15:13 I don't lie. I was protecting you.
01:15:17 All right! I lied!
01:15:20 I lied just on that.
01:15:22 But please trust me. I didn't do
01:15:27 How do I know? How can I believe you?
01:15:32 In France, maybe having anal sex on
01:15:38 OK, I'm sorry. Trust me. The messages
01:15:42 I didn't do anything bad. We're in Paris...
01:15:45 Oh, no, no, we're not.
01:15:51 - Say it.
01:15:52 - Say I'm a whore.
01:15:55 - I'm a whore.
01:15:57 - No, I'm a whore. Just say it!
01:15:59 You don't wanna say it? You want to stay
01:16:04 - John Wayne? What the fuck?
01:16:07 I'm the Indian. (Whoops)
01:16:11 Yes! That's me!
01:16:13 Let me break the news to you. It's not your
01:16:17 It's your ego that's too big
01:16:20 And... Italian condoms, too.
01:16:25 Not bad.
01:16:43 Why did I say that? I'm so stupid.
01:16:56 - Bonjour.
01:16:58 Okey-dokey. Can I get a double
01:17:04 Sir, I don't speak English.
01:17:06 - No English?
01:17:07 All right. Um, a... a...
01:17:10 (moos, then imitates a shotgun)
01:17:13 All right? Double, deux, you know?
01:17:17 And then large... fries,
01:17:19 and a Pepsi, cos Pepsi's the same
01:17:23 Sir, there's the salad menu,
01:17:27 Just choose one of them.
01:17:29 It's simple.
01:17:30 - Oh, this thing, this, this.
01:17:33 I don't wanna eat the paper,
01:17:36 - C'est ça?
01:17:40 Merci.
01:17:41 That'll be 5 euros 30.
01:17:45 - Here we go, some European money.
01:17:48 Were you pissed about the franc?
01:17:53 Voilà.
01:17:54 Thank you, goodbye.
01:17:55 - I hate Paris.
01:18:05 Hi, Mathieu, it's Marion.
01:18:11 - Hi.
01:18:14 Can I sit with you?
01:18:17 Uh, OK.
01:18:27 This fast-food chain has half the animals
01:18:33 Everything you're eating
01:18:36 - Your bun has moths in it.
01:18:40 I see.
01:18:45 Are you having a hard time here,
01:18:48 The language, the food...
01:18:52 - You seem a bit stressed out.
01:18:56 Well, I just found out my girlfriend's a slut.
01:18:59 - What do you mean?
01:19:03 over and over... long periods of time.
01:19:07 For money, probably.
01:19:11 - Yeah. Good stuff, huh?
01:19:16 It's weird that you called.
01:19:21 and I'm just finishing it off.
01:19:24 And there it is!
01:19:28 But... what is it? Who is it?
01:19:30 It's you.
01:19:34 Not bad, eh?
01:19:38 It's beautiful.
01:19:42 Yeah, you're right.
01:19:48 - Thank you.
01:19:51 It's you. It's incredible.
01:19:54 (Jack) Maybe I'm the asshole,
01:19:57 All these accusations,
01:20:01 Maybe I don't wanna expose myself to her
01:20:04 because I'm afraid of hearing
01:20:09 Either way there's not a true exchange,
01:20:12 Sounds stupid, but I've never admitted
01:20:20 I see what you're saying,
01:20:22 - but, man, love is everything we have.
01:20:26 See, the world around us is going to shit,
01:20:30 Right.
01:20:32 - You know I'm a fairy.
01:20:37 - No, no, like a real fairy.
01:20:41 You need to go back to her.
01:20:44 Maybe you need to be more careful with
01:20:48 At the end of your life you'll look back,
01:20:52 Of the job you got or didn't get,
01:20:55 You will think of the people you loved, and
01:21:00 And, even better, she'll be right there...
01:21:05 - holding your hand.
01:21:09 (clears throat) Hm-mm.
01:21:10 - I'll be right back.
01:21:13 (nervous groan)
01:22:10 - You're gonna have to run.
01:22:13 No, just run. When the alarm goes off,
01:22:17 - Excuse me?
01:22:21 The restroom's full of smoke.
01:22:23 (fire alarm)
01:22:38 I'll explain about the messages.
01:22:40 What will you tell him?
01:22:43 That it was a joke,
01:22:47 and that I obviously don't love you!
01:22:50 (Marion sobbing)
01:22:52 Nobody wants me.
01:22:56 That's not tr...
01:22:58 Come on out of there.
01:23:00 (clatter)
01:23:01 What are you doing?
01:23:05 I'll call your sister.
01:23:08 Fuck, this is stupid.
01:23:15 I ran into Iraq.
01:23:21 (woman screams)
01:23:24 Whoa, hey. Pardon...
01:23:26 Outta my way, jerk!
01:23:30 My bag, my bag! It's him!
01:23:33 My bag! Thief! Thief!
01:23:35 No, no, moi America.
01:23:39 Oh, the guy. He went over there.
01:23:40 American, my ass! Filthy Arab!
01:23:42 My bag!
01:23:44 Police!
01:23:46 No, no, no! No, no, no!
01:23:48 Oh!
01:23:50 No! No, no! Comedy of errors.
01:23:55 I'm an interior designer, for fuck's sake.
01:23:59 Marion, just come out, OK?
01:24:02 Mathieu doesn't want to touch me.
01:24:06 What's all this?
01:24:07 No, I tried to kiss her, but
01:24:11 Of course. She's in love
01:24:15 Marion, what got into you,
01:24:20 I'll leave you to it.
01:24:22 Sorry, sir, we made a mistake.
01:24:25 You've been terrific. Thank you.
01:24:27 - Are you sure it's not him?
01:24:30 I don't know what you're saying,
01:24:37 A cup of tea.
01:24:39 Sorry about your soap holder.
01:24:41 I'm sorry too.
01:24:42 What did you do?
01:24:44 - I dropped it by accident.
01:24:49 - The poor guy. You show up...
01:24:53 The old fill-in guy!
01:24:55 We get all wound up with jealousy
01:25:00 We're shallow with
01:25:04 And there are people dying in wars.
01:25:07 Marion, don't start again.
01:25:09 The other day
01:25:13 What?
01:25:14 We use more toilet paper than men
01:25:18 Each time I wipe now
01:25:20 - About what?
01:25:25 Oh, là, là.
01:25:34 I love you, sister.
01:25:37 Is it your little bunny?
01:25:39 No, it's you.
01:25:40 I'm talking to you.
01:25:42 - Thank you, sister.
01:25:46 I'd better go.
01:25:47 - And see your guy?
01:26:00 Hi.
01:26:22 (cheering)
01:26:27 (music starts up)
01:26:48 (brass band playing in the distance)
01:27:44 (music stops/applause)
01:28:08 Hey.
01:28:14 I don't know you.
01:28:17 What are you talking about?
01:28:23 I was at this fast-food restaurant
01:28:27 - right before he sets the place on fire...
01:28:31 No, not a gay person.
01:28:35 Or a schizophrenic vegan, maybe.
01:28:38 I realise something so basic,
01:28:44 - I don't know you.
01:28:47 No?
01:28:48 To sum up the four hours
01:28:51 it's not easy being in a relationship,
01:28:55 and accept them as they are,
01:28:58 - Marion!
01:29:00 Jack confessed to me his fear
01:29:04 if he showed himself totally bare to me.
01:29:08 Jack realised after two years that he didn't
01:29:13 And to truly love each other we needed
01:29:17 even if it's not so easy to take.
01:29:20 So I told him the truth,
01:29:24 And I also told him that
01:29:27 He did not get mad at me because
01:29:31 I confessed the toughest thing for me was
01:29:37 the idea that this is the man
01:29:41 To decide that I will make the effort
01:29:44 and not run off the minute there is
01:29:48 I told him I could not be for just one man
01:29:53 It was a lie, but I said it anyway.
01:29:55 He asked me if I thought I was a squirrel,
01:29:58 collecting men like nuts
01:30:01 I thought it was quite funny.
01:30:04 Then he said something
01:30:08 The tone changed drastically.
01:30:11 Then I misunderstood him. I thought
01:30:15 - and wanted to break up with me.
01:30:18 It always fascinates me how people go
01:30:23 Nothing.
01:30:25 It hurts so much.
01:30:28 When I feel someone will leave me
01:30:31 before I get to hear the whole thing.
01:30:38 Here it is. One more, one less,
01:30:43 I really loved this one.
01:30:47 When I think that it's over,
01:30:50 Well, I'll bump into him, we'll meet
01:30:54 act as if we had never been together.
01:30:57 Then we'll slowly think of each other
01:31:01 until we forget each other completely.
01:31:04 Almost.
01:31:06 Always the same for me -
01:31:09 Drink up, fool around,
01:31:12 fuck around to forget the one and only.
01:31:15 Then after a few months of emptiness,
01:31:20 Desperately look everywhere
01:31:25 meet a new love and swear it is the one,
01:31:57 There's a moment in life where you can't
01:32:04 And even if this person bugs you 60% of
01:32:12 And even if he wakes you up every day
01:32:19 well, you love his sneezes
01:32:24 (# romantic song plays)
01:33:10 (# "Lalala" by Nouvelle Vogue
01:33:19 Subtitles extracted and joined by