|
Zmd Zombies Of Mass Destruction
|
| 00:01:12 |
Well, well, well. |
| 00:01:14 |
What do we have here? A whale? |
| 00:01:40 |
Oh, boy. |
| 00:01:47 |
Will you get your hands off me? |
| 00:03:49 |
Okay, God. All right, fine. |
| 00:03:58 |
- What do you say, Harry? |
| 00:04:11 |
Frida? |
| 00:04:16 |
- Hey, Mr. Miller. |
| 00:04:20 |
Hey, look, it's Frida. |
| 00:04:25 |
God damn it, |
| 00:04:32 |
Jeez, Dad, anger management. |
| 00:04:36 |
- Hey, Frida. |
| 00:04:40 |
Well, hey there, stranger. |
| 00:04:43 |
- Like, a month ago. |
| 00:04:46 |
So the hotshot Princeton girl has no time |
| 00:04:50 |
He's just teasing, sweetie. |
| 00:04:57 |
- She's like, four feet in front of me. |
| 00:05:02 |
I'm taking a bit of a break |
| 00:05:05 |
- Dropping out, huh? |
| 00:05:09 |
- You and... We should... |
| 00:05:13 |
Dad kind of needs me |
| 00:05:16 |
Great, yeah. |
| 00:05:18 |
Well, lookit, Frida, honey, |
| 00:05:21 |
I've been wanting to tell you how awful |
| 00:05:26 |
I always vote... |
| 00:05:28 |
We always vote Democrat |
| 00:05:30 |
What the hell are you talking about, |
| 00:05:33 |
- I don't vote for no pussies. |
| 00:05:35 |
Look, Frida's glad we're bringing |
| 00:05:38 |
Am I right, Frida? |
| 00:05:40 |
Actually, I'm not from Iraq. |
| 00:05:42 |
- What's that? |
| 00:05:48 |
It's my dad who's from Iran. |
| 00:05:52 |
- Iran. |
| 00:05:54 |
Well, I think it's just a tragedy. |
| 00:06:03 |
You know what? |
| 00:06:07 |
but I gotta get going. |
| 00:06:10 |
Well, take care now, Frida. |
| 00:06:14 |
- Bye, Frida. |
| 00:06:24 |
That guy doesn't like his burger. |
| 00:06:27 |
They're always complaining, these people. |
| 00:06:33 |
Hi. |
| 00:06:43 |
How's it hanging, Mr. Abbas? |
| 00:06:45 |
I'm ready to wash me some dishes. Wow. |
| 00:06:51 |
It looks really nice back here. |
| 00:06:54 |
What the fuck do you think about it? |
| 00:06:58 |
You can just come to work |
| 00:07:02 |
- Band practice ran a little late and... |
| 00:07:08 |
I don't care |
| 00:07:14 |
You come here to work on time. |
| 00:07:17 |
Yeah, I mean, |
| 00:07:20 |
- you know I respect the grill, man. |
| 00:07:25 |
You Americans just dance around |
| 00:07:31 |
and your goddamn bacon cheeseburger. |
| 00:07:35 |
Derek, you're fired! |
| 00:07:38 |
Okay, wow. |
| 00:07:53 |
Hi. |
| 00:07:55 |
- Here you go. Well, thanks, Cheryl. |
| 00:07:58 |
Say, listen, I have just one question for you. |
| 00:08:01 |
What's that? |
| 00:08:02 |
Are you ready |
| 00:08:06 |
Cheryl, we have got some big plans |
| 00:08:10 |
Yeah, well, this is probably |
| 00:08:16 |
I'm running against you, Mayor Burton. |
| 00:08:22 |
- Hi. Hi. |
| 00:08:25 |
- How you doing today? |
| 00:08:29 |
Well... Miss Banks. |
| 00:08:34 |
- See you on the campaign trail. |
| 00:08:41 |
Hey, Sam. Vote Burton. |
| 00:08:53 |
God |
| 00:08:56 |
is not a product. |
| 00:08:59 |
He is not a television show. |
| 00:09:03 |
He's not a can of processed meat. |
| 00:09:09 |
God cannot be purchased cheaply |
| 00:09:16 |
We have to earn God through our deeds, |
| 00:09:22 |
rising in his estimation, as we hope |
| 00:09:32 |
But the people in this country |
| 00:09:36 |
with a madness, |
| 00:09:40 |
with betrayal, |
| 00:09:43 |
with greed. |
| 00:09:52 |
Aborted little babies. |
| 00:09:57 |
Islamic terrorists. |
| 00:10:03 |
Homosexuals getting married. |
| 00:10:06 |
Friends, these sins |
| 00:10:13 |
But they are a ticket straight to hell |
| 00:10:18 |
God |
| 00:10:21 |
is watching. |
| 00:10:25 |
And God will strike back soon. |
| 00:10:34 |
Amen. |
| 00:10:40 |
Amen! |
| 00:10:48 |
That's it for today, brothers and sisters. |
| 00:10:54 |
I made $50 last month. |
| 00:11:32 |
This was not a good idea, Lance. |
| 00:11:34 |
- Come on, Tom. |
| 00:11:36 |
- I told you to ease up on all the queerisms. |
| 00:11:40 |
I do what I want, when I want, |
| 00:11:43 |
Look, this is not Manhattan, all right? |
| 00:11:47 |
Okay, fine, I understand your point. |
| 00:11:52 |
We're gonna go have dinner |
| 00:11:55 |
We'll come out over dessert, together, |
| 00:11:58 |
we'll head back on the boat, |
| 00:12:02 |
I mean, it's gonna be great. No more guilt. |
| 00:12:06 |
Okay? No more dodging family holidays. |
| 00:12:09 |
You know, no more deep, dark secrets |
| 00:12:13 |
It's not a big deal. |
| 00:12:16 |
- This is a cool town, come on. |
| 00:12:18 |
- Cool? Cool? |
| 00:12:20 |
- All right, I got your cool right here. |
| 00:12:22 |
Gary Prince, my first love. |
| 00:12:25 |
- He came out when he was 17. |
| 00:12:28 |
He was just beautiful. |
| 00:12:31 |
He had this light in his eyes. |
| 00:12:33 |
I always meant to let him know |
| 00:12:38 |
but after he came out, |
| 00:12:41 |
somewhere in the Midwest. |
| 00:12:43 |
They told him God would see him through. |
| 00:12:47 |
What he was put through |
| 00:12:53 |
But I swear he was like a zombie |
| 00:12:57 |
Tom! |
| 00:12:59 |
Thought that was Tom Hunt. |
| 00:13:01 |
- Ms. Banks? |
| 00:13:04 |
- What have you been up to? |
| 00:13:07 |
- How about you? |
| 00:13:10 |
but not for much longer. |
| 00:13:14 |
Right, sorry. Ms. Banks, this is my... Lance. |
| 00:13:18 |
- Lance. |
| 00:13:22 |
- Tom, this is so great. You're finally out. |
| 00:13:27 |
You mean out of this town. |
| 00:13:33 |
Well, Tom, |
| 00:13:35 |
I'm very proud of you. |
| 00:13:39 |
- I should get back to my run. |
| 00:13:42 |
See you guys around, yeah? |
| 00:14:05 |
- Reverend Haggis? |
| 00:14:10 |
- Mayor Burton. |
| 00:14:14 |
Great sermon today, really great. |
| 00:14:20 |
Thank you. I worked quite a bit |
| 00:14:24 |
Just the way that they're taking |
| 00:14:27 |
She's running against me. |
| 00:14:30 |
- Banks is running against me. |
| 00:14:34 |
She's a godless jezebel. |
| 00:14:36 |
Well, Teddy, with all due respect, |
| 00:14:39 |
- so is half the island. |
| 00:14:41 |
Truth be told, it's probably more than half. |
| 00:14:44 |
Port Gamble has changed. |
| 00:14:49 |
It's Sunday morning, for pity's sake. |
| 00:14:56 |
Remember the 90s, Teddy? |
| 00:15:00 |
We had the fishing industry. |
| 00:15:03 |
We had two services on Sunday |
| 00:15:09 |
I used to... |
| 00:15:12 |
I used to... I used to move people. |
| 00:15:17 |
Hey, now, you still move them. |
| 00:15:20 |
There may not be as many. |
| 00:15:25 |
I just wish half of them |
| 00:15:28 |
Yeah, well, |
| 00:15:31 |
I know, Hal. |
| 00:15:35 |
Things will pick up. |
| 00:15:44 |
You wanna pray? |
| 00:15:57 |
- You shouldn't pray in the front room, Dad. |
| 00:16:14 |
- Dad, don't start. |
| 00:16:17 |
dressed like that, |
| 00:16:19 |
you are insane. |
| 00:16:21 |
Dad, I don't have time to change. |
| 00:16:24 |
With whom? With your pimp? |
| 00:16:27 |
Dad, this is the way people dress |
| 00:16:32 |
A date? |
| 00:16:34 |
Is it Hamid? |
| 00:16:36 |
Yeah, Dad, the one-brow wonder? |
| 00:16:41 |
You just don't like Hamid |
| 00:16:53 |
It's truth, Frida. |
| 00:16:55 |
- You're ashamed of who you are. |
| 00:16:58 |
- because he's not Iranian. |
| 00:17:04 |
Derek Blaine? |
| 00:17:06 |
The same guy that I fired today? |
| 00:17:10 |
- You fired Derek today? |
| 00:17:15 |
What happened to you, jelly-belly? |
| 00:17:19 |
Quitting Princeton, |
| 00:17:24 |
giving your time to nobodies? |
| 00:17:26 |
Please, Dad, |
| 00:17:32 |
This, Frida, this is who you are. |
| 00:17:38 |
You're part of the real culture, |
| 00:17:41 |
real history. |
| 00:17:43 |
You're Iranian. You're from the good family. |
| 00:17:49 |
And one day, |
| 00:17:55 |
But I don't want that. I've never wanted that. |
| 00:17:58 |
I've seen what that place does to you. |
| 00:18:01 |
Who do you think this is all for? |
| 00:18:04 |
I didn't make chicken-fried steak |
| 00:18:11 |
What do you think your mother would say? |
| 00:18:24 |
- I'm coming out, coming out, coming out. |
| 00:18:27 |
- Can't believe it. Coming out. |
| 00:18:31 |
It's gonna be so good. |
| 00:18:33 |
- This is crazy. |
| 00:18:37 |
Tom, sweetheart. |
| 00:18:42 |
Honey. |
| 00:18:43 |
I think now might be a good time |
| 00:18:48 |
that we've discussed over and over again |
| 00:18:53 |
It's your house. Your mom's inside. |
| 00:18:55 |
I don't understand |
| 00:18:58 |
- Because we're here. |
| 00:18:59 |
- And we came from the east coast. |
| 00:19:01 |
- What is the... No. |
| 00:19:03 |
- without ever knowing. |
| 00:19:06 |
This is who you are, |
| 00:19:09 |
Wouldn't next year be a better year? |
| 00:19:14 |
Look at this. |
| 00:19:15 |
Last year, you were "too busy." |
| 00:19:18 |
And the year before that, |
| 00:19:20 |
- And the year before that... |
| 00:19:21 |
- I can't even keep track. |
| 00:19:23 |
It's like, what is your deal? |
| 00:19:26 |
You know what? Just come here. |
| 00:19:29 |
This is... It's the time. This is the time. |
| 00:19:31 |
- Wait. |
| 00:19:33 |
What about your dad? |
| 00:19:38 |
It's not important. Let's go. Come on. |
| 00:20:22 |
- Frida! |
| 00:20:25 |
- Hey, Freed. You ready? |
| 00:20:32 |
- Your dad? |
| 00:20:36 |
It's just, he's just old-fashioned. |
| 00:20:39 |
Yeah, old-fashioned my foot up his ass. |
| 00:20:43 |
So that's it, huh? I'm ditched for the night |
| 00:20:48 |
Frida, when are you gonna realize |
| 00:20:51 |
that you can't just let him control you |
| 00:20:56 |
It's like that song that I wrote, |
| 00:20:59 |
You know, where the guy |
| 00:21:02 |
to buy himself some Rocky Road, |
| 00:21:04 |
but then he realizes there's like |
| 00:21:08 |
- You just got to find your flavor, girl. |
| 00:21:12 |
Just no one likes it. |
| 00:21:20 |
- I like your flavor. |
| 00:21:25 |
And I was just standing in line, |
| 00:21:28 |
when he just bent over |
| 00:21:32 |
Just like that. |
| 00:21:34 |
And after I bought |
| 00:21:36 |
from that chubby little troll |
| 00:21:39 |
- God, that is awful. |
| 00:21:44 |
Port Gamble is not what it used to be, dear. |
| 00:21:46 |
I mean, it's just not safe |
| 00:21:49 |
Well, really, Mom, |
| 00:21:51 |
Well, thank you for your concern, dear. |
| 00:21:59 |
So, Mrs. Hunt, I have been dying to know |
| 00:22:05 |
what this handsome little devil was like |
| 00:22:11 |
Well, he was sort of an oddball. |
| 00:22:16 |
- An oddball. |
| 00:22:18 |
Didn't have much luck with the ladies. |
| 00:22:20 |
- Really? |
| 00:22:23 |
And he was horrible at sports. |
| 00:22:26 |
Guess you could say that, well, |
| 00:22:30 |
- You know, I did pull six figures last year. |
| 00:22:35 |
Now don't get so defensive. |
| 00:22:38 |
Now, his father on the other hand... |
| 00:22:41 |
Now, there was a rock. |
| 00:22:45 |
Yeah, until you got through with him. |
| 00:22:48 |
Such a drama queen. |
| 00:23:02 |
The medicines just don't seem |
| 00:23:06 |
- Should we just call it a night? |
| 00:23:09 |
are we still up for dessert, or... |
| 00:23:13 |
Yes, yes, of course. Dessert, dessert. |
| 00:23:16 |
I made your favorite. |
| 00:23:18 |
- Ladyfingers? |
| 00:23:23 |
Ladyfingers? You're such a fag, Tom. |
| 00:23:38 |
Do you know where my lighter went? |
| 00:24:50 |
What do you think, Freed? |
| 00:24:56 |
- It's about me. |
| 00:25:00 |
- Does the song say I'm like a cheetah? |
| 00:25:05 |
I mean, I know it's not like |
| 00:25:11 |
God! |
| 00:25:14 |
- You dad? |
| 00:25:21 |
Dude, I heard you got fired today. |
| 00:25:25 |
How stupid do you have to be to get fired |
| 00:25:30 |
Well, you know, it's just your dad |
| 00:25:33 |
Yeah, right, because it's not like |
| 00:25:38 |
Whoa, whoa, whoa. |
| 00:25:40 |
- Are you standing up for your father? |
| 00:25:44 |
Are you angry? |
| 00:25:47 |
You are. You're pissed off. |
| 00:25:49 |
God, you're just like your father |
| 00:25:53 |
Gross! |
| 00:25:54 |
Man, all you Iraqis are so pissed off |
| 00:25:58 |
You're, like, the third person today |
| 00:26:02 |
Maybe it's because you have |
| 00:26:06 |
- Wow. That is so dumb of you to say. |
| 00:26:12 |
Why do you people always take things |
| 00:26:16 |
I don't know, but I do know |
| 00:26:19 |
that there is Norway |
| 00:26:27 |
I'm not... I'm not from Norway. |
| 00:26:31 |
So am I, dumb shit. |
| 00:26:34 |
Why does everybody think |
| 00:26:37 |
Hey, hey, whoa, Kuwait a minute, all right? |
| 00:26:48 |
You're right. I'm a dick. |
| 00:26:52 |
You've been having a rough night, |
| 00:26:58 |
Look, man, I'm just Frida. That's it. |
| 00:27:02 |
Why does everybody want me to be |
| 00:27:08 |
I can't even have a normal conversation |
| 00:27:12 |
I know, you're right. |
| 00:27:13 |
I mean, you think that just 'cause I'm a real |
| 00:27:20 |
I know what people think about me. |
| 00:27:22 |
I know they think I'm just some total hack |
| 00:27:27 |
So, I make jokes, you know. It's... |
| 00:27:31 |
What do you call it? |
| 00:27:36 |
But I... |
| 00:27:39 |
I love you, Frida. With a capital "L." |
| 00:27:45 |
You're my lady. |
| 00:27:51 |
That's my blood! Oh, God. |
| 00:28:06 |
Oh, my God! |
| 00:28:58 |
I can't do this. |
| 00:29:00 |
Okay, Tom, you can do this. |
| 00:29:03 |
- I can't. |
| 00:29:05 |
- I can't. |
| 00:29:08 |
"Mom, I'm gay." |
| 00:29:15 |
- Mom? |
| 00:29:18 |
I'm... |
| 00:29:21 |
- I'm thinking about... |
| 00:29:23 |
That's fine. You have to start smaller. |
| 00:29:28 |
"Mom, I have something to tell you." |
| 00:29:31 |
Mom, I have something to tell you. |
| 00:29:34 |
"I'm gay." Go. |
| 00:29:39 |
I'm... |
| 00:29:46 |
Life is filled with twists and turns. |
| 00:29:54 |
I'm gay, Mom! |
| 00:30:07 |
Mom? |
| 00:30:13 |
Mom, I'm gay. |
| 00:30:17 |
A homo, and a pretty good one, too. |
| 00:30:21 |
- I suck dick, Mom. |
| 00:30:28 |
Mom. Mom? |
| 00:30:33 |
Mom? |
| 00:30:38 |
Mom, I was born that way. |
| 00:30:40 |
- It's nobody's fault. |
| 00:30:42 |
Look, if it's any consolation, he's the top. |
| 00:30:45 |
- I receive. |
| 00:30:48 |
Mrs. Hunt, what are you doing? |
| 00:30:52 |
- Oh, my God. What the fuck is up her ass? |
| 00:30:56 |
Jesus, Mrs. Hunt. Her eyes! |
| 00:31:00 |
Mom, take these pills. Come on. |
| 00:31:07 |
Mrs. Hunt, I'm not afraid to use this. |
| 00:31:10 |
Mom, what are you doing? |
| 00:31:13 |
Oh, God! Oh, God. |
| 00:31:24 |
God! |
| 00:31:44 |
That is how my dad reacted. |
| 00:32:00 |
- Oh, God! |
| 00:32:11 |
Mommy ate Daddy. |
| 00:32:15 |
I'm gonna take you home with me, okay? |
| 00:32:19 |
- What's your name, sweetie? |
| 00:32:23 |
Lisa, everything is going to be okay. |
| 00:32:27 |
Nothing bad is going to happen to you. |
| 00:32:32 |
Okay, let's go. |
| 00:32:53 |
There's me on Santa's lap. |
| 00:33:00 |
There's Dad in front of the old house. |
| 00:33:03 |
Yeah? Dad? Remember? Carl? |
| 00:33:23 |
Here. |
| 00:33:31 |
No, no, okay. |
| 00:33:33 |
No, she did not just eat her own eye. |
| 00:33:36 |
Thomas, we are getting the fuck up |
| 00:33:47 |
Tom. |
| 00:33:50 |
Get over here now. |
| 00:33:59 |
News. News. Turn on the news. |
| 00:34:08 |
- Nothing. Wait. |
| 00:34:12 |
Now tonight, in the normally quiet |
| 00:34:17 |
they are in the throes of a viral attack, |
| 00:34:20 |
which purportedly turns its victims into, |
| 00:34:23 |
well, what can be best described |
| 00:34:30 |
Now these zombies have been described |
| 00:34:34 |
with milky white eyes. |
| 00:34:36 |
So, be on the lookout for these zombies. |
| 00:35:11 |
Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad, let me in! |
| 00:35:17 |
- Frida, hurry. Come over here. Hurry, hurry. |
| 00:35:20 |
Hurry, hurry. Come over here. Come on. |
| 00:35:23 |
Come on, get over here, hurry. Hurry, get in. |
| 00:35:25 |
Frida. |
| 00:35:32 |
God! No! No! |
| 00:35:36 |
- Get away from the door, honey. |
| 00:35:39 |
God damn you, zombie. |
| 00:35:43 |
He bit me. Oh, my God. |
| 00:35:45 |
Look at this, he bit me. Oh, God! |
| 00:35:50 |
Zombie bastard! |
| 00:36:02 |
God. |
| 00:36:18 |
If you look at the evidence, |
| 00:36:21 |
there is no conclusive proof that this was |
| 00:36:24 |
Not conclusive? Son, you're about |
| 00:36:29 |
- The people... |
| 00:36:31 |
that our President has |
| 00:36:34 |
Gentlemen, gentlemen, we'll not get |
| 00:36:36 |
- One at a time, please. Let's not... |
| 00:36:40 |
People of Port Gamble, get your guns |
| 00:36:45 |
your God-given right to exercise |
| 00:36:50 |
Okay, I repeat, we need to get the fuck up |
| 00:36:55 |
I know, but what about Mom? |
| 00:36:58 |
You can't encourage the citizens to go |
| 00:37:02 |
- I hear a lot of noise in the background. |
| 00:37:06 |
Mom? |
| 00:37:08 |
You are an absolute idiot. |
| 00:37:11 |
We're not getting anywhere, here. I'm done. |
| 00:37:17 |
Mom. |
| 00:37:59 |
Shoot... Shoot her. |
| 00:38:02 |
- Come on! |
| 00:38:15 |
- Brian, did you board up the house? |
| 00:38:21 |
- We'll leave the back door open for an exit. |
| 00:38:26 |
- I'll take care of you, Judy. Come on. |
| 00:38:31 |
Sort of numb and tingly. |
| 00:38:53 |
Sweet Jesus, here we go. Crying Brian. |
| 00:39:01 |
Look, we got plenty of water. |
| 00:39:03 |
And we went to the superstore, |
| 00:39:07 |
I didn't have half of that growing up |
| 00:39:13 |
Brian, you gotta learn self-reliance. |
| 00:39:17 |
You think the government gives a shit |
| 00:39:21 |
Look, I don't know about the next life, |
| 00:39:23 |
a man has gotta learn |
| 00:39:27 |
But... But what about Mom? |
| 00:39:34 |
The United States is under attack. |
| 00:39:38 |
Terrorists have managed to unleash |
| 00:39:41 |
The likes of which has |
| 00:39:46 |
- Now tonight... |
| 00:39:48 |
Brian, so help me God, I will plunder you |
| 00:39:53 |
- But Mom! |
| 00:39:54 |
than you think. |
| 00:39:58 |
It's just a bite from a zombie. |
| 00:40:00 |
...as zombies. |
| 00:40:02 |
What? |
| 00:40:03 |
The White House has issued a statement |
| 00:40:06 |
to the infamous terrorist leader, |
| 00:40:11 |
Citing the following videotape message, |
| 00:40:16 |
of last year. |
| 00:40:21 |
For years you Americans have terrorized |
| 00:40:29 |
You tried to destroy us... |
| 00:40:31 |
Again with the Muslims. |
| 00:40:33 |
Dad, she was bitten. Haven't you ever |
| 00:40:38 |
Brian, you know I'm a vampire man. |
| 00:40:41 |
Now get your head in the game, |
| 00:40:56 |
Mr. Miller, I left my purse |
| 00:41:00 |
Could I just use your phone |
| 00:41:02 |
You tried to destroy us and yet we live. |
| 00:41:06 |
You tried to devour us and yet |
| 00:41:13 |
Dad she's going to turn into a zombie. |
| 00:41:18 |
Dad, we have to tie her up |
| 00:41:22 |
Tying her up ain't gonna do it. |
| 00:41:23 |
This is the infamous terrorist leader, |
| 00:41:26 |
- who swore... |
| 00:41:30 |
- She's threatening our family. |
| 00:41:33 |
What are you talking about? |
| 00:41:37 |
I'm not talking about Mom. |
| 00:41:39 |
...instructions on the things |
| 00:41:42 |
- Frida. |
| 00:41:44 |
we will take you through. Stay with us. |
| 00:41:47 |
- What? |
| 00:41:51 |
Now look at the TV. |
| 00:41:52 |
...places for you to call, |
| 00:41:55 |
- No, no, no, no. |
| 00:41:57 |
- Mr. Miller, this is a pendant my mom... |
| 00:42:01 |
- Throw me out? Are you crazy? |
| 00:42:04 |
- to stay safe. |
| 00:42:06 |
- Throwing her out there is murder. |
| 00:42:11 |
Now, think about it? Princeton? |
| 00:42:13 |
Who knows where she's really been. |
| 00:42:16 |
And Ali, how is he able to make such |
| 00:42:20 |
and I busted my ass? |
| 00:42:22 |
And speaking of the cafe, who are the only |
| 00:42:27 |
You, me, Mom, |
| 00:42:33 |
- Mom is infected. |
| 00:42:38 |
Oh, God! Oh, God! |
| 00:42:50 |
- Fuck, yeah! |
| 00:42:54 |
Hold on. Hold on. |
| 00:43:18 |
Okay. I'm ready. |
| 00:43:26 |
Dad, I'm telling you, |
| 00:43:32 |
Brian, okay? Okay, Brian? |
| 00:43:38 |
Frida, I'm gonna ask you some questions. |
| 00:43:40 |
- Jesus Christ, Dad, come on. |
| 00:43:47 |
God. No. Mr. Miller, this is fucking crazy. |
| 00:43:53 |
This pendant belonged to my mom. |
| 00:43:56 |
Frida, I want you to relax. |
| 00:44:01 |
We will bring you no harm. |
| 00:44:04 |
- Okay. |
| 00:44:13 |
- What the fuck does that have to do... |
| 00:44:16 |
- Okay, blue. Blue. |
| 00:44:20 |
Okay. Okay. See? See? Okay. |
| 00:44:23 |
I would have said dark blue! |
| 00:44:26 |
- Dad. |
| 00:44:28 |
- Too late. |
| 00:44:30 |
Listen up, why does the US flag have... |
| 00:44:38 |
Because they represent |
| 00:44:41 |
Correct. |
| 00:44:44 |
But most American high school graduates |
| 00:44:48 |
- Dad! |
| 00:44:54 |
What do you know about making bombs? |
| 00:45:01 |
Yeah, nice shot. |
| 00:45:05 |
Yeah! |
| 00:45:09 |
Yeah, how do you like that? |
| 00:45:15 |
Come on. |
| 00:45:16 |
Oh, God. Hey, it's a rescue chopper. |
| 00:45:20 |
It's not a rescue chopper. |
| 00:45:23 |
Come on, can't you see us? Stop! |
| 00:45:30 |
Hey, come on, give us a ride, man! |
| 00:45:34 |
Fuck! |
| 00:45:38 |
God, she was, like, eight. |
| 00:45:41 |
Come on, yeah! |
| 00:45:45 |
We've got to hole up somewhere. |
| 00:45:47 |
- We can't keep this up. |
| 00:45:50 |
- Let's go. |
| 00:45:55 |
Mr. Lucio, you gotta let us in. |
| 00:45:59 |
- No, no, no, don't shoot. Please, let us in. |
| 00:46:05 |
- Please let us in. |
| 00:46:07 |
- Open the door! |
| 00:46:09 |
- Come on. |
| 00:46:11 |
What? |
| 00:46:14 |
You homophobe. |
| 00:46:23 |
Oh, say, can you see |
| 00:46:27 |
by the dawn's early light |
| 00:46:31 |
What so proudly we hailed |
| 00:46:35 |
at the twilight's last gleaming... |
| 00:46:39 |
No, no, no! It's a C for shit's sake. |
| 00:46:46 |
Okay, Frida, |
| 00:46:50 |
I want you to eat this ham. |
| 00:46:54 |
- Where did you get... |
| 00:46:56 |
No, no, no. Okay, I'll eat it. I'll eat it. Just... |
| 00:47:01 |
Shit. Did that count? |
| 00:47:04 |
Why the fuck would terrorists choose |
| 00:47:07 |
Exactly, why would terrorists |
| 00:47:11 |
- Right. Why? |
| 00:47:15 |
- No, that's what I'm answering. |
| 00:47:19 |
You should say... Get out of my head! |
| 00:47:24 |
You're cunning as a cheetah, girl. |
| 00:47:27 |
Yeah. Yeah, but I'm gonna get what I need. |
| 00:47:31 |
- Watch her, I'll be right back. |
| 00:47:33 |
if you're gonna torture her, I am not just |
| 00:47:36 |
Just showing her the torture device |
| 00:47:38 |
Do what? |
| 00:47:41 |
- Exactly. |
| 00:47:43 |
You are not gonna deter me |
| 00:47:47 |
- Dad, you're from Canada. |
| 00:47:50 |
Just try to think of it |
| 00:47:53 |
Safety first, Brian. Work shed. |
| 00:48:11 |
What did you do to my Frida? |
| 00:48:32 |
Frida! Where are you, sweetheart? |
| 00:48:37 |
Derek, Derek Blaine? Come. |
| 00:48:42 |
Come to Daddy, you fucking piece of shit! |
| 00:48:46 |
Casey! |
| 00:48:47 |
No, Casey. No, Casey. No! |
| 00:48:53 |
No! |
| 00:48:56 |
Where is Frida, God damn it? |
| 00:49:00 |
Can you speak English? |
| 00:49:02 |
Casey. |
| 00:49:04 |
You son of a bitch. |
| 00:49:10 |
This is for you, Frida! |
| 00:49:23 |
Get away from me, you zombies. |
| 00:49:24 |
- Miss Banks, over here. |
| 00:49:27 |
- Come on. |
| 00:49:29 |
Come on. |
| 00:49:31 |
B12, B12, Vitamin B12, |
| 00:49:35 |
Anybody, Vitamin B12. |
| 00:49:44 |
How many sheets, dearie. |
| 00:49:46 |
You got to be kidding, lady. |
| 00:49:49 |
- Guys, help me! Help me. |
| 00:49:54 |
Did you not just hear me, man? Zombies. |
| 00:49:56 |
You can't go out there, sir. |
| 00:49:58 |
I think I do. Good evening, gentlemen. |
| 00:50:02 |
No, no, no. |
| 00:50:03 |
Don't go out there. No, no. |
| 00:50:14 |
Mrs. Rutherford, |
| 00:50:18 |
I'll tell you, old girl, I hope I'm not being |
| 00:50:23 |
That's my blood. |
| 00:50:27 |
What are you doing? What are you doing? |
| 00:50:31 |
You cannot go out there, Reverend. |
| 00:50:33 |
Reverend, turn on the outside lights. |
| 00:50:55 |
All right, everyone stay calm. |
| 00:51:01 |
- Stay away from the windows. |
| 00:51:04 |
Bingo night has been canceled. |
| 00:51:05 |
- We're gonna need some hammers. |
| 00:51:09 |
Thank you, Mayor, |
| 00:51:14 |
- I've got to consult some tomes. |
| 00:51:18 |
Wikipedia. I'll be right back. |
| 00:51:20 |
There's cookies on the back table |
| 00:51:26 |
Oh, God. Brian, oh, God, come on. |
| 00:51:29 |
You've known me since we were kids. |
| 00:51:32 |
It doesn't make any sense. |
| 00:51:33 |
Frida, just play along with him |
| 00:51:36 |
- Play along? I'm supposed to sit here... |
| 00:51:40 |
- He won't actually do anything. |
| 00:51:42 |
- He's all talk. |
| 00:51:45 |
- Just tell him what he wants to hear. |
| 00:51:49 |
That I got a fucking |
| 00:51:53 |
There is no right answer for him. |
| 00:51:59 |
You're right. |
| 00:52:02 |
So, why don't you just let me go? |
| 00:52:07 |
Come on, set me free. |
| 00:52:10 |
I want to be free, Brian. |
| 00:52:14 |
I mean, we're neighbors, right? |
| 00:52:19 |
And I've always felt, like, something |
| 00:52:26 |
around you, |
| 00:52:30 |
or hung out or anything like that, |
| 00:52:37 |
Seriously. |
| 00:52:41 |
I even saw that play that you invited me to. |
| 00:52:50 |
So... |
| 00:52:53 |
So, do you think that... |
| 00:52:55 |
I don't know, that you think |
| 00:52:58 |
Yeah. Yeah, |
| 00:53:02 |
Right? So, here, get me out. |
| 00:53:04 |
Just let me go. Come on, come on. |
| 00:53:09 |
Come on, come on. |
| 00:53:38 |
Don't you think it would be a good idea |
| 00:53:41 |
feed upon one another? |
| 00:53:43 |
I know, I know, honey, but just hang tight. |
| 00:53:46 |
I'll come for you in the morning, promise. |
| 00:53:49 |
Well, just apply pressure to it. |
| 00:53:50 |
Yeah, I know, Mom. Yes, Mom, I know. |
| 00:53:54 |
Now look, they're totally blowing it |
| 00:53:57 |
Yeah, just trust me, we're cool. It's fine. |
| 00:54:02 |
"Did Tom come out?" |
| 00:54:06 |
Let me think about that for a sec. |
| 00:54:10 |
Kind of. He sort of did. |
| 00:54:16 |
Oh, God, you should have been there. |
| 00:54:19 |
"I suck dick, Mom." He was so... It was cute. |
| 00:54:24 |
Okay. All right, love. Later, babe. |
| 00:54:34 |
Hey, just while we're here, |
| 00:54:38 |
- Like what? Like how? What? |
| 00:54:41 |
You know, straight. |
| 00:54:44 |
'Cause that's straight, right? |
| 00:54:46 |
- Well, straighter than you. |
| 00:54:48 |
- but I still love you. |
| 00:54:53 |
Brothers and sisters, |
| 00:54:59 |
the Mayor and I would like to |
| 00:55:04 |
to welcome the newcomers to our church |
| 00:55:09 |
and to Armageddon. |
| 00:55:13 |
This is it. This is Judgment Day. |
| 00:55:18 |
This is the day that I've been |
| 00:55:21 |
It's a time when Christ will separate |
| 00:55:28 |
from the sinners, |
| 00:55:32 |
and the pure will inherit the earth. |
| 00:55:36 |
Make no mistake, folks. |
| 00:55:40 |
It is not a coincidence that Judgment Day |
| 00:55:46 |
safe in His house of worship. |
| 00:55:52 |
Because out there are the sinners. |
| 00:55:58 |
The Unitarians, the gays, the pro-choicers |
| 00:56:05 |
the doomed, the demons |
| 00:56:15 |
have emerged to possess their minds |
| 00:56:20 |
This is the night where |
| 00:56:24 |
What about my brother? |
| 00:56:29 |
Casey was a good man, |
| 00:56:32 |
one of your most devoted followers, |
| 00:56:38 |
one of them. |
| 00:56:41 |
And you're saying it's because he's evil? |
| 00:56:46 |
It's probably an environmental illness |
| 00:56:50 |
I mean, think about it, |
| 00:56:58 |
Miss Banks. Cheryl. |
| 00:57:03 |
Casey was a good man. |
| 00:57:07 |
But his closet is not without |
| 00:57:10 |
- Isn't that true? |
| 00:57:13 |
Couldn't it be possible that Casey's virus |
| 00:57:16 |
was not the result |
| 00:57:19 |
But in fact, took hold |
| 00:57:22 |
- with sin and misdeeds. |
| 00:57:25 |
We have to zombie-proof this entire area. |
| 00:57:31 |
Larry, Tom, Lance, |
| 00:57:36 |
These things could break |
| 00:57:38 |
Mrs. Happenstance, Clive, |
| 00:57:43 |
How long can we stay alive in here? Go. |
| 00:57:46 |
Miss Banks is absolutely right. |
| 00:57:50 |
But she's forgotten one important step. |
| 00:57:55 |
We have to zombie-proof our souls. |
| 00:57:58 |
We have to free ourselves |
| 00:58:04 |
I will absolve each of you |
| 00:58:08 |
to make sure you do not become |
| 00:58:12 |
one of them. |
| 00:58:14 |
No, no, no. Have no fear, friends, |
| 00:58:19 |
for we have history's greatest |
| 00:58:25 |
Jesus Christ. |
| 00:58:36 |
Mr. Miller, Joe, Joe, I'm not a terrorist. |
| 00:58:41 |
I am not a terrorist. |
| 00:58:46 |
I'm your neighbor. Joe? |
| 00:58:52 |
Joe! Joe! |
| 00:58:59 |
- Silence! |
| 00:59:07 |
- Jesus Christ! |
| 00:59:29 |
All right, Frida, |
| 00:59:33 |
Now what the fuck is going on? |
| 00:59:38 |
You're out of your fucking mind. |
| 00:59:42 |
Come on, Frida. Let's hear it, baby. |
| 01:00:06 |
- God! |
| 01:00:22 |
Okay. |
| 01:00:24 |
Okay. |
| 01:00:51 |
Oh, God! Oh, God! |
| 01:01:20 |
Okay, everyone. If you could just |
| 01:01:38 |
As you know, we are under siege |
| 01:01:43 |
- Hey, are you all right? |
| 01:01:47 |
- But I think we're gonna miss the last ferry. |
| 01:01:50 |
- Speaking of fairy, how's my straight act? |
| 01:01:54 |
You've gone from a Richard Simmons |
| 01:01:58 |
We've got at least a makeshift weapon |
| 01:02:00 |
including a couple of guns |
| 01:02:03 |
Hey, I come prepared, honey. |
| 01:02:08 |
except for little Billy, here. |
| 01:02:10 |
I absolutely condemn the use of guns, |
| 01:02:14 |
You betcha. |
| 01:02:15 |
There's only one other matter we need to |
| 01:02:21 |
I think it's become pretty obvious |
| 01:02:24 |
- and I, for one, think that we should... |
| 01:02:28 |
I can personally attest to the Mayor's purity |
| 01:02:34 |
Reverend Haggis, |
| 01:02:38 |
or validity of your theory. |
| 01:02:41 |
He's got yellow eyes. |
| 01:02:44 |
- I've got glaucoma. |
| 01:02:48 |
- I've got eczema. |
| 01:02:51 |
I'm just saying that we should employ |
| 01:02:56 |
- whether or not you... |
| 01:02:59 |
I've been mayor since this island |
| 01:03:07 |
I'm scandal-free. |
| 01:03:09 |
My closets have no skeletons. |
| 01:03:11 |
- Again, I am not attacking your character... |
| 01:03:16 |
A failed marriage. Your students' test |
| 01:03:22 |
- You could be a lesbian for all we know. |
| 01:03:26 |
You're tarnishing the reputation |
| 01:03:30 |
just so you can stay out of quarantine. |
| 01:03:32 |
I mean, you're clearly a grunt away |
| 01:03:36 |
and you wanna sit there |
| 01:03:38 |
Yeah, motherfucker! |
| 01:03:40 |
How your retarded ass got to be mayor |
| 01:03:43 |
Bitch! |
| 01:03:46 |
My God! Did you hear that echo? |
| 01:03:48 |
That was fucking awesome. |
| 01:03:59 |
Son, can I just ask you |
| 01:04:03 |
Let's stick to the issue. |
| 01:04:04 |
- Hal, no. No. |
| 01:04:13 |
I'm with him, huh? |
| 01:04:16 |
I'm with him. |
| 01:04:19 |
Folks, this here is a war. |
| 01:04:24 |
On one side, you've got your pure. |
| 01:04:28 |
On the other, |
| 01:04:32 |
And we all gotta take sides. |
| 01:04:36 |
What side are you on, Tom? |
| 01:04:40 |
- Throw the faggots out! |
| 01:04:43 |
- Quiet. |
| 01:04:45 |
- Quiet down. |
| 01:04:48 |
Now, shame on you. |
| 01:04:54 |
- How dare you? |
| 01:04:57 |
No, Hal. |
| 01:04:59 |
This is absolutely wrong. |
| 01:05:02 |
They are children of God. |
| 01:05:06 |
You're as bad as those monsters outside. |
| 01:05:10 |
Shame. Shame on every one of you. |
| 01:05:17 |
We just have to convert them. |
| 01:05:47 |
Dad? Dad? |
| 01:05:59 |
Dad? |
| 01:06:42 |
Dad? |
| 01:06:53 |
Dad? |
| 01:07:13 |
Dad. |
| 01:07:18 |
Jelly belly? |
| 01:07:23 |
Frida! |
| 01:07:31 |
I'm so sorry, Dad. I'm sorry I left. |
| 01:07:34 |
- That's okay. |
| 01:07:36 |
That's okay. |
| 01:07:39 |
Dad, everyone's dead. Derek's dead. |
| 01:07:45 |
You're right. |
| 01:08:02 |
I ran every street to find you. |
| 01:08:10 |
Now I can rest. |
| 01:08:15 |
It's all over. |
| 01:08:18 |
- Everything I worked for. |
| 01:08:23 |
- It's all gone. |
| 01:08:26 |
Everything will still be standing |
| 01:08:34 |
The pizza man tries to get even, |
| 01:08:39 |
but I took care of him. |
| 01:08:43 |
The boy is fired. |
| 01:08:47 |
You know it. |
| 01:09:44 |
No. No, boys, don't worry. |
| 01:09:47 |
We don't even use |
| 01:09:51 |
- Electric coils? |
| 01:09:55 |
We have some footage of |
| 01:10:02 |
and we'll inject you with an IV drip... |
| 01:10:03 |
- I'm right behind you. |
| 01:10:07 |
No. |
| 01:10:09 |
Boys, I'm sorry, I'm not very good |
| 01:10:12 |
but it works. I swear it works. |
| 01:10:19 |
- And it's absolutely painless. |
| 01:10:24 |
- We'll just... |
| 01:10:26 |
It's too dangerous out there. |
| 01:10:28 |
Look, this is the same machine we used |
| 01:10:34 |
He was a perfect angel |
| 01:10:37 |
Oh, God! |
| 01:10:38 |
That's the spirit! Now if you'll just |
| 01:10:42 |
Room? You have a conversion room? |
| 01:10:45 |
Well, it's my office, actually. But when |
| 01:10:52 |
- You'll be free. |
| 01:10:54 |
- It's for your own good. |
| 01:10:57 |
torture those boys. |
| 01:11:09 |
Open this door! Let me in! |
| 01:11:15 |
Damn you! Let me in! |
| 01:11:18 |
Hal? |
| 01:11:21 |
- Hal? |
| 01:11:23 |
- Hal. |
| 01:11:27 |
Hal, you wanna help me with Cheryl? |
| 01:12:20 |
Reverend Haggis, please, have mercy. |
| 01:12:23 |
Just let us out of here. |
| 01:12:27 |
You're all going straight to hell! |
| 01:12:30 |
- You cocksucking motherfuckers! |
| 01:12:34 |
When we are done here, |
| 01:12:36 |
you are gonna know a life that is free |
| 01:12:39 |
of the hardships of persecution and sin. |
| 01:12:43 |
I feed off of persecution and sin! |
| 01:12:47 |
There is so much more. |
| 01:12:50 |
I am so excited. I haven't used this thing |
| 01:12:56 |
This is in case you vomit. |
| 01:13:01 |
Hit him. |
| 01:13:08 |
I'm so sorry, baby. I'm so sorry. |
| 01:13:35 |
This? |
| 01:13:38 |
This is homoerotic? |
| 01:13:41 |
You see, it's working already. |
| 01:13:47 |
Open the door! |
| 01:13:49 |
- Hal? |
| 01:13:54 |
You look under the weather, Hal. |
| 01:14:06 |
Hal, hear that? |
| 01:14:10 |
You don't look so good, Hal. |
| 01:15:02 |
All right, nobody move. Hands up! |
| 01:15:05 |
I'll shoot him. |
| 01:15:07 |
I swear on my mother's good name, |
| 01:15:11 |
All right. |
| 01:15:15 |
Then Haggis, number two, |
| 01:15:21 |
All right. Everybody over in that corner. |
| 01:15:28 |
They're here to save us. It's over. |
| 01:15:31 |
Come on, guys. Move. |
| 01:16:08 |
No, Hal. |
| 01:16:12 |
Hal. |
| 01:16:17 |
- Forget it, Reverend. It's too late. |
| 01:16:19 |
No, I can convert him, too. |
| 01:16:22 |
The power of Christ can do anything. |
| 01:16:47 |
I think we have some unfinished business |
| 01:16:50 |
Bitch! |
| 01:17:16 |
This time, |
| 01:17:41 |
Frida! |
| 01:17:45 |
Frida. |
| 01:17:48 |
Frida, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Frida. |
| 01:17:54 |
Frida. Frida! |
| 01:17:59 |
Frida, I'm sorry. Please. Please, Frida. |
| 01:18:05 |
- I forgive you. |
| 01:18:09 |
There's nothing wrong with you. |
| 01:18:13 |
Frida! |
| 01:18:17 |
No, get back, you fuckers. |
| 01:18:19 |
Get back you dirty fuckers. |
| 01:18:26 |
Hal, think about all we've done together. |
| 01:18:29 |
to make this a better place. |
| 01:18:31 |
Remember, Hal. Remember. |
| 01:18:40 |
You wanna pray? |
| 01:18:53 |
The power of Christ compels you to... |
| 01:19:12 |
God, forgive me. I tried. |
| 01:19:36 |
Oh, God. Get it off! |
| 01:19:55 |
Here. |
| 01:19:56 |
- No. No. No. |
| 01:20:17 |
No. |
| 01:20:34 |
Miss Banks. Miss Banks! |
| 01:20:41 |
Miss Banks! |
| 01:20:56 |
Don't shoot. I'm gay. |
| 01:21:04 |
And I'm Frida. Let's go. |
| 01:21:47 |
Are you infected? |
| 01:21:49 |
- No. |
| 01:22:12 |
I'm standing here in the main square |
| 01:22:16 |
where today at noon, a six-month |
| 01:22:20 |
Now, although spirits are high |
| 01:22:22 |
many questions remain. |
| 01:22:25 |
Where is Mustafa and how was he able |
| 01:22:29 |
Is the virus curable, and most importantly, |
| 01:22:35 |
Even as the Port Gambleites celebrate, |
| 01:22:36 |
many of their loved ones are being |
| 01:22:40 |
And it is hard to step out |
| 01:22:43 |
of the infected and the dead. |
| 01:22:48 |
This is Dan Campbell, live at Port Gamble. |
| 01:22:54 |
How was that? |
| 01:22:55 |
I felt a couple of locks of hair move. |
| 01:22:57 |
And most importantly... |
| 01:23:17 |
- Thank you. |
| 01:23:28 |
- Hey, homos. |
| 01:23:31 |
Where do you think? Seventh circle of hell. |
| 01:23:35 |
But I'm happy for you guys. New York, huh? |
| 01:23:37 |
And unless our apartment's been robbed, |
| 01:23:38 |
we'll always have a couch |
| 01:23:41 |
A couch, Tom? |
| 01:23:42 |
I'm sorry, Frida. You can sleep on the bed. |
| 01:23:45 |
You saved our fucking lives. Tom, rude. |
| 01:23:47 |
Frida, honey, listen. |
| 01:23:50 |
The customers. |
| 01:23:55 |
Velma, that's ghormeh sabzi. |
| 01:23:57 |
Well I know that, Frida, honey. |
| 01:24:01 |
It's just really not the time to put |
| 01:24:06 |
All right. You know what, Velma? Just... |
| 01:24:12 |
If the customers don't wanna eat it, |
| 01:24:21 |
Listen, Frida. |
| 01:24:22 |
You've been cooped up in this place |
| 01:24:25 |
Why don't you get out? |
| 01:24:29 |
Guys. |
| 01:24:31 |
No, I'm... I'm busy. Thanks. |
| 01:24:37 |
It's your call. |
| 01:24:39 |
Just, Frida, don't, you know, |
| 01:24:44 |
- I won't. |
| 01:24:46 |
All right? East coast. |
| 01:24:48 |
I will. I will. |
| 01:24:51 |
- Thanks, guys. |
| 01:24:53 |
- Bye. |
| 01:25:03 |
Good afternoon, my fellow Port Gambleites. |
| 01:25:05 |
Welcome to our first annual |
| 01:25:11 |
Because we can't protect an island |
| 01:25:14 |
or a country, for that matter, |
| 01:25:17 |
We need a stronger police force. |
| 01:25:19 |
We need a homeland security presence |
| 01:25:23 |
Defense begins with you and me. |
| 01:25:28 |
We must remain armed and vigilant |
| 01:25:32 |
We must be ready to report any and all |
| 01:25:39 |
Yes, we've suffered. |
| 01:25:45 |
But let us honor their memory |
| 01:25:51 |
To forge a stronger Port Gamble, |
| 01:25:57 |
And so, I invite you to take this first step |
| 01:26:03 |
into the safe, clear waters |
