Zombie Strippers

en
00:00:32 George W. Bush has won his fourth
00:00:35 ... taking Florida,
00:00:38 ... inherent in the Jeb B. voting
00:00:42 ... for President Bush
00:00:45 Bush's presidency
00:00:47 ... Iegally binding
00:00:49 ...as well as totally cool,
00:00:53 ...who subsequently set in motion
00:00:57 Following the landslide victory...
00:00:59 ...a constitutional amendment banning
00:01:02 Shortly thereafter,
00:01:05 ... claiming it was cramping his style.
00:01:07 American troops
00:01:10 ... due to the still-raging wars in Iraq,
00:01:15 ...Libya, Pakistan, Venezuela,
00:01:20 One American corporation has
00:01:23 ...a scientific military solution
00:01:27 Here at W Industries, top scientists...
00:01:30 ... in cooperation
00:01:33 ...and due to the shortage
00:01:35 ...are developing a toxic,
00:01:39 ... that acts to reanimate dead tissue.
00:01:42 But we assure you, due to the extreme
00:01:47 ... the research facilities
00:01:50 ... in accordance with the United States
00:01:54 ...fail-safe.
00:02:10 Behold a pale horse.
00:02:16 Please help me! Help me!
00:02:24 Sir.
00:02:26 They're here.
00:02:56 Major. Thank God you guys are here.
00:02:59 -It's bad in there.
00:03:02 We're the best of the best.
00:03:05 Semper fi.
00:03:07 Believe it or not, zombies.
00:03:25 I like knives.
00:03:31 He likes knives.
00:03:35 Nothing like a good challenge.
00:03:37 We improvise and adapt, sir.
00:03:38 We just stopped that thing.
00:03:41 -Armageddon, sir.
00:03:43 Lt. Ryker here killed Satan himself
00:03:46 -Good work, soldier.
00:03:48 -So where were we?
00:03:50 That's right, zombies.
00:03:53 Let's tell the squad the good news.
00:03:54 I live for it, sir.
00:03:57 Fall out, you maggots!
00:04:00 Go, go, go.
00:04:03 On the double, dirtbags.
00:04:07 -Meet the team, private?
00:04:09 Welcome to the best of the best, son.
00:04:11 Now move out, soldier!
00:04:16 Zombies.
00:04:18 Shit.
00:04:22 Take a good look, soldier.
00:04:31 You see this?
00:04:36 Seen worse.
00:04:40 So, what are we dealing with here, doc?
00:04:46 It's a chemo virus
00:04:49 ...and jump-start
00:04:51 This would allow, say, a soldier
00:04:55 After one experiences death,
00:05:00 It enhances the combat mindset...
00:05:03 ...the brain functions of one
00:05:06 ...the drive of a take-no-prisoners
00:05:11 It more or less turns a soldier
00:05:16 The good news is...
00:05:17 ...the test subjects in there
00:05:20 ...but poor lost unfortunates
00:05:23 ...but to sell themselves
00:05:26 Homeless, illegal immigrants,
00:05:29 And what's the bad news?
00:05:31 The chemo virus'
00:05:33 ...deteriorate at an exponential rate
00:05:35 The zombified dead after that
00:05:38 ...with a voracious appetite
00:05:41 The virus is based
00:05:44 ...so it stays more pure
00:05:46 But once you get a man in there,
00:05:49 ...it all goes to shit.
00:05:51 So, what do we have to do to take
00:05:55 Well, what works for us is we've been
00:05:59 ...the medulla oblongata.
00:06:06 Or that.
00:06:09 We also found that a strong
00:06:12 ...can knock them out.
00:06:14 Right. Lieutenant, give the word.
00:07:16 All right, it's a turkey shoot.
00:07:18 Let's lose this armour.
00:07:23 Jesus.
00:07:24 What team of fuckups
00:07:48 We track as many as we can,
00:07:51 -What, Elvis?
00:07:54 -Damn.
00:07:56 -Alpha, Bravo, ten-hut!
00:08:01 Com station up and operational.
00:08:05 Alpha, Bravo, incoming at 0400.
00:08:08 Twenty metres, 10 o'clock.
00:08:24 Hold tight. Draw them in.
00:08:33 Holy shit.
00:08:41 Sometimes I like guns.
00:08:44 Alpha, Bravo, incoming at 6 o'clock.
00:09:05 Wait for it.
00:09:07 Do it.
00:09:09 Wait for it.
00:09:15 Blast them.
00:09:23 Report. Comstat, come in.
00:09:25 Kwan, you there?
00:09:28 Com's down.
00:09:29 Electromagnetic blast.
00:09:38 So how do we make sure
00:09:47 Oh, no.
00:09:58 Sir, the com phone....
00:10:01 Look out!
00:10:19 Somebody made a mistake.
00:10:25 Fire at will.
00:10:29 Alpha, Bravo, get to the side!
00:10:55 -I want more bombs, sir.
00:10:58 The memo reads:
00:11:00 "Osama to attack
00:11:02 Wait, what does that mean?
00:11:03 It's code. It means
00:11:06 But better to ignore the problem
00:11:09 Got it. That's what we're doing?
00:11:12 Me, personally...
00:11:14 ...I'm aiming for the head.
00:11:53 All right. The good old-fashioned way.
00:11:56 Alpha, Bravo teams,
00:12:07 -Wrap it up.
00:12:14 This is where it bit me.
00:12:16 It's not that bad. Don't worry, son.
00:12:18 We'll get you fixed up right as rain.
00:12:35 -Mission accomplished, sir.
00:12:38 Where'd I hear that before?
00:12:40 Yes, sir. Squad, form up.
00:12:47 Where's Byrdflough?
00:13:35 Off the stage, asshole.
00:14:53 Hi.
00:15:02 I'm looking for Madam Blavatski.
00:15:08 God bless.
00:15:20 Are you kidding me?
00:16:00 All right.
00:16:02 That was the ever-feline Kat.
00:16:06 Now, she's working hard up there
00:16:10 And remember, Rhinos
00:16:15 So exclusive members only,
00:16:22 Now, the management
00:16:26 ...that nothing comes out
00:16:29 ...but tips for the girls.
00:16:45 Bitch.
00:16:46 -What a talent.
00:16:49 -My hero.
00:16:51 Okay, über-sluts, we have new meat.
00:16:55 This is Jessy.
00:16:56 -Local girl, right?
00:16:58 Born and bred, Sartre, Nebraska.
00:17:00 -Figures.
00:17:03 Yep. Right again.
00:17:05 -Eat a lot of corn?
00:17:08 Good. Now, we make her at home...
00:17:10 ...so we are all-- How you say?
00:17:12 --happy with the crabs.
00:17:14 No, not crabs, but other crustaceans.
00:17:17 You mean "happy as a clam."
00:17:19 Clams are molluscs,
00:17:21 Whatever.
00:17:23 So you sit here.
00:17:26 We are all happy as clams.
00:17:35 Hi.
00:17:39 Okay.
00:17:41 Lilith!
00:17:42 Go, go, go. You dance.
00:17:53 Oh, Mr. Essko, hello.
00:17:56 Shut your pie-hole.
00:17:58 Hey, boss.
00:18:00 Back off.
00:18:03 This is nice.
00:18:06 Never touch.
00:18:07 Not the jacket,
00:18:10 You touch me again, I'll kill you.
00:18:13 I love a man of authority.
00:18:33 Well, hey there, sweet thing.
00:18:37 How about some private time?
00:18:38 Fat chance, fuckwad.
00:19:23 And now, an announcement...
00:19:26 ...from your host, Mr. Ian Essko.
00:19:32 Tired of that same old lap dance?
00:19:36 Well, drop an extra C-note, fellas...
00:19:39 ...and experience Rhinos'
00:19:45 One of our lovely ladies
00:19:50 ...and give birth to your head.
00:19:55 Why not try it
00:20:00 Experience the essence du Goth.
00:20:05 Exclusively here at Rhinos.
00:20:18 All right, boys.
00:20:20 Give it up for Lilith,
00:20:25 And remember, tip the girls well
00:20:29 ...but the music.
00:20:32 And now...
00:20:34 ...back by her own popular demand...
00:20:38 ...a legend in her own mind...
00:20:41 ...Jeannie.
00:20:55 Bitch.
00:21:06 Okay, what the hell
00:21:08 Is it that apparent
00:21:10 Let me guess,
00:21:13 She's Nana, and it's for her colostomy.
00:21:16 Hey, Berenge, Trotskyite,
00:21:23 Lap dance.
00:21:25 Lap dance?
00:21:28 Syphilitical lap dance?
00:21:30 Yeah.
00:21:32 -You want a lap dance?
00:21:35 -You don't look so good.
00:21:55 Well, all right, boys.
00:21:57 Now our own Bobby Sox...
00:21:59 ...is gonna tease you
00:22:27 All right, all right.
00:22:29 What the hell's going on out here?
00:22:31 Dude, that guy's dead.
00:22:36 Oh, he's okay.
00:22:38 -Where the fuck's Paco?
00:22:41 Clean this mess up, would you?
00:22:44 I'm only two of me.
00:22:47 Remember the Alamo. Davy Crockett.
00:22:51 -Whatever.
00:22:55 Knocked up.
00:23:02 I remember when I was once star.
00:23:05 Young stripper with dream.
00:23:08 Dream to sing to swanky Parisian elite
00:23:15 We live for dreams.
00:23:17 We die for dream.
00:23:21 That which doesn't kill us
00:23:24 This new girl.
00:23:26 I don't think she's ever stripped before.
00:23:29 -You think?
00:23:32 Give her some pointers.
00:23:34 Yeah, sure. But everything great...
00:23:36 ...must first wear hideous
00:23:39 ...in order to inscribe themselves
00:23:53 Davis, what are you doing here?
00:23:55 -I need to talk to you.
00:23:57 I need to know what
00:24:00 You're kidding.
00:24:01 I know we're Christians, and what
00:24:05 ...well, Christlike,
00:24:08 So, what are morals?
00:24:10 But then again, the road to hell
00:24:14 Darn, I'm out of clichés.
00:24:16 What do you want from me, Davis?
00:24:18 Ultimate truth.
00:24:20 You're the last pure thing I know
00:24:22 Maybe there's more truth
00:24:25 ...in me taking my clothes off
00:24:28 ...so that my grandmother
00:24:30 ...than me staying virginal and pure
00:24:34 Jessy, please, don't do this.
00:24:37 But I gotta. For Nana.
00:24:43 Well, if you must.
00:24:46 I'm gonna watch.
00:24:48 And now, for all you cornhuskers...
00:24:51 ...midnight cow-tippers
00:24:55 ...we have sweet Jessy.
00:26:30 What the fuck?
00:26:44 Couldn't do it, huh?
00:26:45 Kid, it takes more than desperation
00:26:49 You either got it or you don't, baby.
00:26:50 What the fuck is going on here?
00:26:53 Look, you pert little minxy slut.
00:26:55 You get back out there right now,
00:26:58 Ian, will you just fucking relax?
00:27:00 I'll take her time.
00:27:02 Jesus Christ.
00:27:05 You have to be a warrior, a soldier.
00:27:09 A stripper with a take-no-prisoners...
00:27:12 ...raw survival instinct.
00:27:15 So please, for my sake, suck it up.
00:27:19 -It's a war out there.
00:27:57 Get this asshole out of here!
00:28:00 My show, you won't watch.
00:28:10 Come on, in here.
00:28:12 In here.
00:28:18 Stay out of there, he's dangerous.
00:28:20 He's my hero.
00:28:26 Get inside, get her inside,
00:28:29 Come on, come on, that's it.
00:28:39 Do we call someone about this?
00:28:41 Who? We're an illegal operation here,
00:28:44 We call the police, we're fucked.
00:28:49 Okay, okay, okay. Plan.
00:28:51 First, you go out front,
00:28:54 -Hey, pendejo, I'm a lover, not a fighter.
00:28:58 Second--
00:29:01 Yes, yeah, wild dogs.
00:29:03 French Equatorial New Guinea
00:29:26 You're dead.
00:29:35 I am?
00:29:41 Imagine that.
00:29:42 Oh, no, no, no, hold on.
00:29:46 I was.
00:29:48 -But now I'm back.
00:29:52 This is not possible.
00:29:55 How does it feel?
00:29:57 Great. I've never felt more alive.
00:30:02 Oh, sweet irony.
00:30:07 Hey, where are you going?
00:30:09 I'm going to dance.
00:30:31 Announce her.
00:30:36 And now...
00:30:39 ...back from the dead...
00:30:42 ...Kat.
00:33:13 Yeah!
00:34:15 You're cute.
00:34:18 -Me?
00:34:20 I could just eat you alive.
00:34:25 Come here.
00:34:28 No way.
00:34:29 Jimmy, Jimmy.
00:34:31 Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy.
00:34:34 Hey, you think this is a good idea?
00:34:37 I mean, wasn't that bitch dead
00:34:40 Fuck it.
00:34:43 Sit.
00:34:47 This is gonna be so great.
00:35:10 Allow me.
00:35:20 Look, maybe I should go.
00:35:24 Go? It's only just begun.
00:35:29 Look, this isn't so much fun anymore.
00:35:33 Let me make it up to you.
00:35:37 Oh, yeah. Hands are cold.
00:35:42 That's interesting.
00:35:49 I get it wet.
00:36:08 Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy
00:36:14 But wait, there's more.
00:36:28 Oh, God.
00:36:30 Oh, God.
00:36:33 -No.
00:36:35 Suit yourself.
00:36:43 Did you see...?
00:36:45 Holy shit!
00:36:48 Hey, do I gotta clean this mess up?
00:36:51 You see this?
00:36:56 -Cappuccino?
00:36:58 Meaning you're cleaning this entire
00:37:01 Or do I have to find somebody else
00:37:04 Okay, man, okay. I got it, all right?
00:37:11 In old country, we use eels.
00:37:14 -Eels?
00:37:17 They eat the flesh.
00:37:18 Sorry, but we don't have eels.
00:37:21 Best we can do is a few rats,
00:37:24 With any luck, a badger or two.
00:37:28 Badgers?
00:37:29 Badgers?
00:37:34 Just clean this up.
00:37:37 Come on, Paco, I'll help you.
00:37:48 Jesus fucking sheep shit.
00:37:54 Boss, we have a problem.
00:37:56 Could be problem.
00:37:58 Yeah, well, the only problem
00:38:01 ...is Señor lllegal over here,
00:38:05 Oh, really?
00:38:07 How about this, huh, boss?
00:38:10 Maybe this is something worse
00:38:13 Okay, let's see if I've got this straight.
00:38:19 Our best stripper
00:38:22 ...who is feeding off the living flesh
00:38:25 ...who in turn reanimate,
00:38:32 You-- You don't see this as a problem?
00:38:37 This is what I think.
00:38:39 I see stripper dead.
00:38:44 I see severed head,
00:38:48 But I also see not-so-dead
00:38:54 How you say?
00:38:55 --knock them dead.
00:38:57 Or not so dead, as case may be.
00:38:59 So your fucking point?
00:39:02 My point is lots of money.
00:39:04 I never see performance before
00:39:07 Nice boys out there never see
00:39:10 So I think nice boys
00:39:13 And soon, lots of nice boys
00:39:22 So that is why I say
00:39:27 ...maybe not so much problem.
00:39:29 His head easy to--
00:39:32 How you say?
00:39:37 --brush under carpet.
00:39:39 Head?
00:39:41 I see no head.
00:39:43 What head?
00:39:45 -You see head?
00:39:47 Severed zombie head? Please.
00:40:05 This makes so much more sense now.
00:40:19 Good. All here.
00:40:22 What the fuck was that out there?
00:40:24 Yeah, she was amazing.
00:40:28 -What?
00:40:32 In the old country...
00:40:34 ...I strip to buy bread and borsch.
00:40:37 Hey, Lilith, you wake up.
00:40:40 I talk to you.
00:40:49 Oh, my God.
00:40:51 She's dead.
00:40:55 No, I'm not.
00:41:03 Figures. Go ahead, kiss her ass.
00:41:07 You have the personality of clay.
00:41:10 Spineless jellyfish.
00:41:13 Kat says jump and you grovel,
00:41:17 Yeah. When she says "zombie,"
00:41:23 You're surprised?
00:41:25 Actually, there's more.
00:41:29 But leftovers still alive.
00:41:32 -Cool.
00:41:34 Death.
00:41:38 It's like snow and the stars.
00:41:44 That's pretty.
00:41:45 I remember once lying in the snow
00:41:51 And there were so many stars.
00:41:55 I couldn't comprehend
00:41:58 ...that vast and noble void.
00:42:01 But now...
00:42:03 ...I understand it.
00:42:06 I feel I'm a part of it.
00:42:10 That infinite nothingness.
00:42:15 I wanna strip. Who's on?
00:42:18 Fuck it, I'm gonna dance.
00:43:29 Death is good.
00:43:46 Okay.
00:43:48 It looks like war has been declared.
00:43:51 Give it up for Jeannie.
00:43:54 The dance of the bruised ego.
00:45:11 Get off!
00:45:14 -Go away.
00:45:17 -You're done, bitch.
00:45:20 -You suck!
00:45:28 You.
00:45:42 Oh, baby, you are morbid.
00:45:46 I love your tongue.
00:45:53 Oh, wow, this is so fucking cool.
00:45:59 I love your tongue.
00:46:25 This is starting to creep me out.
00:46:28 Come on. Come on.
00:46:33 Okay, not too bad.
00:46:43 Just back away slowly.
00:46:47 These things don't move so well.
00:46:49 Oh, really?
00:46:51 They move pretty good to me, all right.
00:46:53 What are you staring at, dog?
00:46:55 You look at me like you know me.
00:46:59 Bite me, man.
00:47:06 Hey. Hey, come on. Basement,
00:47:12 In the cage. In another cage.
00:47:14 Get in there, fella.
00:47:20 Yeah. Yeah, that should hold him.
00:47:23 Well, I think the spillover
00:47:44 -Where are they?
00:47:47 Good, good. Okay, quick,
00:47:52 Come on, come on. Get out, out, out.
00:47:56 Home. Piss off.
00:47:59 Make like a tree
00:48:12 Beauty.
00:48:20 Yeah, baby.
00:48:22 Those graveless gutter sluts
00:48:28 Now, you know,
00:48:31 ...that the whole thing
00:48:34 Well, hey...
00:48:36 ...it's me.
00:48:44 Yeah.
00:48:45 That's what worries me.
00:49:06 Who's there?
00:49:28 Are you following me?
00:49:30 What? No. I was-- I was just--
00:49:34 -You should have seen this thing back--
00:49:40 You need to stay far away from me
00:49:42 There's something going on
00:49:46 So just go home. And, Davis?
00:49:50 -Lock your door.
00:50:08 Shit.
00:50:12 Bye-bye.
00:50:20 Take me.
00:50:23 I want it. I want it now.
00:50:30 I love you.
00:50:33 Love is dead.
00:51:37 Great tits, huh?
00:51:39 Yes. But what does it mean?
00:52:09 Here I am, sweet thing.
00:52:14 Flesh.
00:52:18 Hey, baby. Nice to meet you.
00:52:21 Meat.
00:52:25 Girl, I've been dying
00:52:44 Go.
00:52:55 Back. Back, you not-so-dead
00:53:01 Back.
00:53:02 -Close the door.
00:53:05 Get away from him.
00:53:08 -Get in.
00:53:11 Hey.
00:53:21 See? Piece of fucking cake.
00:53:24 Baby, we are gonna make an un-killing.
00:54:24 Don't tell me
00:54:26 I have to.
00:54:28 You can't compete
00:54:30 I'm thinking of getting Kat to,
00:54:33 For my nana.
00:54:35 That's an excuse and you know it.
00:54:38 Perhaps.
00:54:40 But listen to that.
00:54:42 That acceptance, that praise,
00:54:46 The sense of pride and self.
00:54:49 It's not a sense of self out there,
00:54:52 But it's so fucking cool.
00:54:55 Okay, girls, go home.
00:55:00 Tomorrow.
00:55:02 I'll do it tomorrow.
00:55:11 -Dude, that place is so awesome.
00:55:17 Hello, darling.
00:55:20 You want to party with the love doctor?
00:55:28 Hey.
00:55:33 I like knives.
00:55:35 Okay.
00:55:41 But kind of kinky.
00:55:46 Okay, okay.
00:55:48 You two have a good night, all right?
00:55:51 Damn, that chick's as cold
00:55:54 ...of a stripping zombie.
00:56:04 Jesus.
00:56:54 -Beautiful.
00:57:00 Yeah.
00:57:04 Beautiful.
00:57:05 We have to stop her.
00:57:07 Yeah, she could get out, infect others.
00:57:11 Fuck that.
00:57:14 But she's always been the star.
00:57:17 I have never been booed
00:57:21 Kat's reign ends
00:57:24 -But what can you do?
00:57:29 What happened to that guy, anyway?
00:57:42 -Hey, boss.
00:57:45 ...and hose yourself down
00:57:50 Look, this zombie thing has gotta end.
00:57:54 Have you any idea how much money
00:57:58 Look, lan, these zombies,
00:58:03 I can't sleep. I'm having nightmares.
00:58:06 Don't worry about them, then.
00:58:08 They're murdering,
00:58:10 -They're harmless.
00:58:13 If that's what fate brings our way,
00:58:19 -No, that's fatalism. It's not me.
00:58:24 -Whatever.
00:58:27 It means that you've never really
00:58:32 Why the fuck start now?
00:58:34 You've always just stood back
00:58:38 -Yeah, well, this is different. It's evil.
00:58:41 It's a fucking fad.
00:58:44 I don't trust you.
00:58:46 -You're planning something.
00:58:51 Let me put it to you this way.
00:58:54 You are useless.
00:58:58 You're dead to me.
00:59:00 And I mean real dead, not undead dead.
00:59:04 You got nothing until you can do what
00:59:07 So get out, pack your shit...
00:59:11 ...get on the bread truck
00:59:19 What?
00:59:21 Suddenly, you have a sense of self?
00:59:25 Suddenly, she cares.
00:59:32 Hello.
00:59:37 Oh, my God.
00:59:49 Calm down.
00:59:52 Aren't you afraid of looking like that
00:59:56 What future?
01:00:00 I don't know.
01:00:12 Come to Mama.
01:00:27 -What the fuck's your problem?
01:00:31 I won't argue that.
01:00:32 Coward. Worthless.
01:00:35 Ugly. Fat ass.
01:00:40 I hate you.
01:00:48 -Where is Jeannie?
01:00:50 You go on the floor.
01:00:51 What's the point?
01:00:54 Just do it.
01:01:05 No. Where are you, Jeannie?
01:01:09 Nasty zombie guy?
01:01:13 Anyone?
01:01:46 Jesus, you look like a corpse.
01:01:50 That's the plan.
01:01:55 No, your duty is to be an individual.
01:01:58 The mind is a flame to be kindled,
01:02:03 How foolish and naive, Berenge.
01:02:06 Your optimism makes you an idiot.
01:02:09 What did you call me?
01:02:10 -An idiot.
01:02:13 Don't you ever
01:02:15 My mind's made up. I must submit.
01:02:19 For my nana,
01:02:24 ...for the luxury of not having
01:02:29 Call it what you want.
01:02:31 In the end it's all the same.
01:02:49 What are you looking at, huh?
01:03:02 I'm doing it.
01:03:04 -You're going up there?
01:03:07 -And taking your clothes off?
01:03:11 What are you doing?
01:03:12 The whole flesh-eating corpse,
01:03:18 Excuse me?
01:03:22 Did I miss something?
01:03:28 Warriors, come out to play.
01:03:33 Warriors, come out to play.
01:03:43 Your time is done here.
01:03:45 So, little one,
01:03:49 You've been dead, the flesh decays.
01:03:53 -I am now your equal.
01:03:56 Then come, let's dance.
01:05:08 If this gets out, I'm fucked.
01:05:53 No. No, this is not what I want.
01:05:57 I can no longer be blind to the war.
01:06:30 This is getting way out of hand.
01:08:07 -Where's lan?
01:08:08 What are you talking about?
01:08:09 -They're out.
01:08:11 Jesus, them!
01:08:17 -No!
01:08:20 Get out!
01:08:33 Open the door, lan, it's us.
01:08:36 Prove it!
01:08:45 Okay. Come on.
01:08:47 Come here.
01:08:52 Freeze!
01:08:53 Put the gun down, lan.
01:08:54 How do I know
01:09:01 -How do I know you're not one of them?
01:09:05 You two, boys with toys...
01:09:07 ...stop this foolish nonsense.
01:09:09 We must work together.
01:09:12 Right, right.
01:09:16 Hey, man, open the door.
01:09:19 -Who's there?
01:09:23 Just let him in.
01:09:30 Not cool.
01:09:32 How do we know
01:09:38 -He's alive.
01:09:40 -Now what?
01:09:42 -We need a plan.
01:09:44 We'll destroy them.
01:09:45 No, wait. We join them.
01:09:48 No. Kill them
01:09:51 No, join them. Destroy them.
01:09:54 Fuck! Why?
01:09:56 Why can't I decide?
01:09:59 Am I no longer human? Have I no soul?
01:10:03 This is all your fault, existential bitch.
01:10:09 -Nothing like a good cat fight, huh?
01:10:12 No.
01:10:14 Hey. You have more of those?
01:10:19 Are you kidding?
01:10:33 Okay, anyone know
01:10:43 Well...
01:10:45 ...something about the safety being off.
01:10:48 I saw that in a movie.
01:10:50 Hey, the law says I can own them,
01:10:56 Skank zombie whore-bitch,
01:10:59 Been there, done that, loser.
01:11:01 I hate you, corpse-zilla.
01:11:04 Oh, what's that, undead cellulite?
01:11:06 Too bad you couldn't reanimate
01:11:10 I see your skin didn't get any worse.
01:11:12 Limbo bimbo.
01:11:15 Rotten slut.
01:11:16 -Can we at least have plan?
01:11:20 Shoot everything that moves.
01:11:21 Hey, those guys-- Come on,
01:11:25 He's right. Yeah. We need to wear
01:11:30 Like badges.
01:11:32 Badges? Badges?
01:11:35 Yo, that's a good idea.
01:11:38 But what about the girls, huh?
01:11:42 They're zombies.
01:11:43 No, they're strippers.
01:11:46 They're zombie strippers.
01:12:13 Come on, let's do it,
01:12:22 Why?
01:13:07 Goddamn!
01:13:09 Well, that sucked.
01:13:13 Reminds me of the old country.
01:13:16 -Oh, no, we lost Paco.
01:13:20 This makes me sad.
01:13:26 Little Aztec warrior.
01:13:28 That really blew.
01:13:30 Come on, you guys,
01:13:33 How about round two?
01:13:37 Oh, this is no good.
01:13:38 It's only a matter of time
01:13:40 Davis, hold me.
01:13:46 Hey, baby?
01:13:48 Maybe we should, you know, do it.
01:13:53 What? What happened to all that purity
01:13:57 Right now it seems
01:14:02 Maybe like denying the beauty of life...
01:14:04 ...by adhering to repressive
01:14:08 You mean,
01:14:10 -ls that such a crime?
01:14:13 Oh, come on, baby.
01:14:17 Get a life, loser.
01:14:19 -Blowjob?
01:14:20 -Hand job, rim job?
01:14:23 -Anything?
01:14:26 -Dirty Sanchez?
01:14:28 -A to M?
01:14:29 -Angry Dragon?
01:14:32 -Foamy Chewbacca?
01:14:34 Where do you get this stuff?
01:14:36 The lnternet.
01:14:42 Listen.
01:14:43 I can't take this anymore.
01:14:46 No, no, no.
01:14:47 No.
01:14:52 Oh, no.
01:14:54 Pancho Villa.
01:14:59 Montezuma.
01:15:05 Cesar Chavez.
01:15:10 Cinco de Mayo.
01:15:14 Guacamole.
01:15:22 Adios, Maria.
01:15:23 Maria, Maria.
01:15:41 Goodbye, my friend Pepe.
01:15:43 I will miss you most.
01:15:45 You are a true friend.
01:15:51 It's Paco time.
01:16:12 Wait, wait.
01:16:14 The girls, you can talk to.
01:16:18 Gaia, please, look at me.
01:16:22 Look at my eyes.
01:16:25 And trust me.
01:16:27 Trust the voice
01:16:31 Look into me.
01:16:33 Look into my eyes.
01:17:12 Oh, my God.
01:17:34 Do I suck or what?
01:17:53 All right.
01:17:55 -Who the fuck are you?
01:17:58 -Who the fuck are you?
01:18:02 I'm just a little old nobody
01:18:07 Thanks for ruining my shirt,
01:18:10 Sorry about the mess.
01:18:12 Yeah, you take care now.
01:18:14 Wait, wait. You don't have to leave.
01:18:18 -Maybe we could work together, huh?
01:18:22 You take flank,
01:18:26 What are you waiting for?
01:18:29 I've got a better idea.
01:18:31 I'll hide...
01:18:32 ...and you two kill...
01:18:36 ...or whatever, the zombies.
01:18:39 Copy that. Wait here.
01:18:43 "Wait here." I can do that.
01:19:12 At last, I will taste victory...
01:19:14 ...as I tear you apart
01:19:30 I have won.
01:19:53 No!
01:20:20 All I ever wanted
01:20:25 Anything. Is that too much to ask?
01:20:28 Babe, you were the best.
01:20:31 Really? Well, thank you.
01:20:37 Thank you.
01:20:40 Sector 7, clear.
01:20:43 Wait a second.
01:20:51 Someone, please,
01:20:53 Someone put me out of my misery.
01:20:56 I've got this.
01:21:18 Hey, boss.
01:21:28 Good idea.
01:21:36 We never gave you
01:21:40 ...for all that you've done for us.
01:21:43 You really don't have to. Really.
01:21:45 Herpes is one thing,
01:21:59 Oh, God.
01:22:14 I know what you want.
01:22:18 Face dance.
01:22:28 Please, please. No, no, no!
01:22:35 -My turn.
01:22:39 Tracking him now.
01:22:40 Eyes are upon the world.
01:24:01 No. Hey, we're alive.
01:24:04 -We're not one of them.
01:24:07 Oh, shit, couldn't you
01:24:09 Okay, okay.
01:24:11 I think, therefore I am.
01:24:13 I think? Actually, I have
01:24:17 -Not convinced.
01:24:19 Revenge is a dish best served cold.
01:24:24 Oh, God, don't kill me.
01:24:27 Please don't kill me.
01:24:32 Excuse me.
01:24:33 Mr. Army Man, Mrs. Army Person,
01:24:38 Missy, we've got a job to do.
01:24:39 So make it good,
01:24:48 Funny, I just had a memory.
01:24:52 I'm in a field and I look down...
01:24:55 ...and I see a single dandelion...
01:24:59 ...growing from out of
01:25:03 And suddenly, a wind blows...
01:25:06 ...and the wind is aswarm
01:25:11 ...milk-blue in the afternoon sun.
01:25:13 Seeing such profound beauty...
01:25:15 ...rise up from cow shit...
01:25:20 ...I suddenly realise life is beautiful.
01:25:29 Wait.
01:25:31 What?
01:25:32 Search and destroy.
01:25:37 Oh, Christ, what's that smell?
01:25:42 Oh, fuck.
01:25:47 Shoot me, please.
01:25:59 Specimen secured.
01:26:05 All right, bag him.
01:26:07 No!
01:26:08 -We'll hand it over to Sl for testing.
01:26:13 No.
01:26:23 What it is, you are.
01:26:32 We got survivors.
01:26:43 All right, say something.
01:26:47 Wait a minute.
01:26:50 Hey, major.
01:26:52 You.
01:26:54 Me? What?
01:26:59 It was you.
01:27:01 You gave us that bunk intel
01:27:04 You want us to fail.
01:27:07 That's right. I let the zombie virus out.
01:27:12 It took months of planning...
01:27:14 ...but I was able to secure
01:27:23 And then effectively release it
01:27:41 Don't you see? We like it
01:27:45 We go out of our way to make sure
01:27:49 Global warming is making us enough
01:27:53 Iraq is making us enough money to
01:27:58 But wait, just think,
01:28:03 ...Iook out.
01:28:04 Hey, this is America.
01:28:09 Oh, please, give me a break.
01:28:11 Dude, we've been sold a farm,
01:28:15 If you're smart, you realise this
01:28:19 Or else ignore it...
01:28:21 ...and give in
01:28:33 You guys should smoke more.
01:28:35 Not enough kids smoking these days.
01:28:39 Incoming.
01:28:46 At last, I'm beautiful.
01:28:50 I'm beautiful.
01:28:54 Don't you think I'm beautiful?
01:29:00 Orders are orders.
01:29:02 Sir, I fear we're being used.
01:29:05 You just figuring that out?
01:29:09 Sir. Hey, I'm talking to you.
01:29:27 Gentlemen. Expensive.
01:29:29 Gonna cost.
01:29:32 Call it, lieutenant. Our job's done here.
01:29:36 D-Squad, ten-hut.
01:29:39 Come on, you numbnuts,
01:29:50 Hey, what's this?
01:29:55 Son of a bitch.