Beerfest
|
00:00:57 |
You've got spunk, Wolfhouse. |
00:01:01 |
I don't got room in my |
00:01:04 |
I got a little spunk for you. |
00:01:11 |
You couldn't hit your own ball bag |
00:01:19 |
Chance. |
00:01:22 |
Jesus, Mary and Joseph. |
00:01:26 |
Doesn't everybody? |
00:01:27 |
Yeah, the shit-stabbers like you. |
00:01:30 |
Hold on there, girlfriend. |
00:01:34 |
You're gonna chance... |
00:01:37 |
...you're gonna have to earn it. |
00:01:41 |
Oh, no. No way. |
00:01:44 |
Forget about it. |
00:01:48 |
Hey. You said you wanted to chance, |
00:01:54 |
All right, all right. |
00:02:02 |
Son of a bitch! |
00:02:03 |
Up yours, Johnny Cash. |
00:02:04 |
Okay. Grab him, boys. |
00:02:08 |
You weren't trying to play me for |
00:02:11 |
Beginner's luck. |
00:02:12 |
You don't come into my place of business |
00:02:16 |
Now, what I should do is |
00:02:19 |
- But I'll teach you something somebody... |
00:02:22 |
What's going on down here? |
00:02:24 |
Todd, welcome home! |
00:02:26 |
I'm just having some fun with your |
00:02:29 |
Might not be the best time. |
00:02:31 |
Oh, of course. |
00:02:38 |
Padre? |
00:02:50 |
I'll come back for the rest. |
00:03:09 |
Great Gam Gam. I'm so sorry. |
00:03:13 |
My friends... |
00:03:15 |
...as we gather today to mourn |
00:03:20 |
...what can I say that |
00:03:27 |
Hello, all. |
00:03:30 |
If you are watching this, |
00:03:35 |
Now I will never know what happens on |
00:03:41 |
- He loved that show. |
00:03:45 |
...for what you have added to |
00:03:50 |
Most of all, my mother. |
00:03:53 |
Mother, I always knew |
00:03:58 |
I loved you. |
00:04:00 |
Prosit. |
00:04:16 |
Todd, Jan, |
00:04:21 |
...take good care of the restaurant. |
00:04:25 |
It is the last piece of your heritage. |
00:04:28 |
And don't worry, |
00:04:36 |
Popo! |
00:04:37 |
- Hey. It's Popo. |
00:04:41 |
...by my father on his deathbed. |
00:04:45 |
Prosit! |
00:04:56 |
And finally, to me. |
00:05:00 |
Looking good down there. |
00:05:17 |
Say good night, Popo. |
00:05:20 |
Good night, Popo. |
00:05:29 |
For hundreds of years, |
00:05:33 |
...to spread the ashes of |
00:05:36 |
I am too old. |
00:05:39 |
...and carry out this tradition |
00:05:43 |
Sure, it would be an honor for us, |
00:05:45 |
Well, you must leave immediately. |
00:05:49 |
The tradition is to spread the ashes... |
00:05:52 |
...during the festival |
00:05:54 |
There you will meet |
00:05:57 |
He will take you to |
00:06:00 |
The festival begins this week. |
00:06:03 |
The festival of the what-what? |
00:06:04 |
Oh, boys, you know this festival |
00:06:09 |
We're in. |
00:07:16 |
We really gotta find this Schniedelwichsen |
00:07:20 |
He's supposed to meet us here. |
00:07:22 |
So there's nothing we can do |
00:07:44 |
Come on, guys. |
00:07:57 |
Are you making fun of us, mate? |
00:07:59 |
What? No. |
00:08:01 |
We're singing the beloved |
00:08:03 |
...and you sing us |
00:08:06 |
I reckon you're taking |
00:08:10 |
We're just singing. |
00:08:11 |
What do you think, mate? |
00:08:12 |
I think we should fucking brain them. |
00:08:16 |
Hey, we love Oktober... |
00:08:35 |
Hot cheese soup! |
00:08:37 |
Hot cheese so! |
00:08:51 |
Come on. |
00:08:53 |
Just kiss each other,ja? |
00:09:17 |
Helmut, my God, are you okay? |
00:09:23 |
Oh, strewth. They hit the little kid! |
00:09:33 |
Let's get the bastards! |
00:09:54 |
So this is Oktoberfest. |
00:09:56 |
Wolfhouse? |
00:09:59 |
Yeah. |
00:10:03 |
I am Mr. Schniedelwichsen. |
00:10:06 |
- Hi! |
00:10:08 |
Gam Gam said you'd meet us here. |
00:10:12 |
- Gotcha. |
00:10:14 |
- He's got me! |
00:10:18 |
Make fast! Make very fast! |
00:10:21 |
Split! Split! |
00:10:32 |
Where are we going, |
00:10:34 |
Schniedelwichsen. Come. |
00:10:37 |
Halt. See, we're here. |
00:10:43 |
Johan? |
00:10:44 |
The ashes. |
00:10:46 |
We gotta go get our grandfather's ashes. |
00:10:52 |
Come. Come now. |
00:11:19 |
We in the right neighborhood? |
00:11:27 |
Oh, hello, blondie. |
00:11:30 |
You care for a dance? |
00:11:32 |
Jan? Jan? |
00:11:35 |
Leave my brother alone. |
00:11:39 |
I miss you! |
00:11:53 |
The password! |
00:12:49 |
Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! |
00:13:02 |
They're playing Quarters! |
00:13:05 |
Hey, Beer Pong! |
00:13:08 |
Upside-down Chugs! |
00:13:12 |
Come! Come in here. |
00:13:21 |
I'd bugger her |
00:13:26 |
Hello. Pim Scutney. |
00:13:30 |
Team England. |
00:13:31 |
I am Jan Wolfhouse and |
00:13:35 |
And what is this? |
00:13:38 |
Beerfest, innit! |
00:13:41 |
Is this part of Oktoberfest? |
00:13:43 |
Oktoberfest is for tossers and |
00:13:47 |
Beerfest is our lives. |
00:13:49 |
The ultimate test of |
00:13:53 |
- Where's the American team? |
00:13:56 |
- That's worth a squirt, innit? |
00:14:02 |
Excuse me, guys. |
00:14:03 |
Please vomit in proper receptacles! |
00:14:07 |
Wait a second. |
00:14:10 |
They look just like Grandpa's. |
00:14:12 |
That's why Schniedelwasher |
00:14:15 |
We're supposed to put Grandpa's urn |
00:14:18 |
We gotta go back and get it. |
00:14:20 |
You go. I'm never leaving this place. |
00:14:22 |
Das Boot! Das Boot! Das Boot! Das Boot! |
00:14:32 |
Hello, guvnor! |
00:14:34 |
We got ourselves a tie. |
00:14:36 |
You see them blokes in the knickers? |
00:14:38 |
That's the German team, the champs. |
00:14:40 |
Their family owns |
00:14:43 |
They're regular diamond geezers, |
00:14:46 |
Why does the last guy |
00:14:49 |
That's no shoe! |
00:14:51 |
That's Das Boot! |
00:14:55 |
And she's a cruel old mistress, she is. |
00:15:03 |
Drink up, Hansel! |
00:15:07 |
Wow, they're fast! |
00:15:14 |
Das Boot! |
00:15:21 |
Das Boot! Das Boot! |
00:15:42 |
Schniedelspanker! |
00:15:57 |
Von Wolfhausen. Wolfhouse. |
00:16:01 |
Your last name's von Wolfhausen? |
00:16:04 |
Get the fuck out of here. So is ours! |
00:16:09 |
We're cousins? |
00:16:12 |
We must be related through |
00:16:30 |
Why are you taking him? |
00:16:32 |
We kind of need to stick close. |
00:16:36 |
- He is of no concern to you. |
00:16:41 |
You do not speak of Beerfest |
00:16:46 |
You do not bring outsiders to Beerfest. |
00:16:48 |
But our grandfather |
00:16:51 |
Your grandfather |
00:16:53 |
Your grandfather was a thieving |
00:16:57 |
- What did you say? |
00:16:59 |
...our great-grandfather, the most |
00:17:03 |
He perfected the von Wolfhausen |
00:17:06 |
It was the greatest beer in all the world. |
00:17:10 |
When Ludwig died, your grandfather stole |
00:17:14 |
Hold on a second. |
00:17:17 |
He had this little sausage house |
00:17:20 |
He could und he did. |
00:17:22 |
He stole our recipe und fled Germany |
00:17:26 |
...a common Bavarian... |
00:17:30 |
What's the English word I'm looking for? |
00:17:34 |
Whore. |
00:17:35 |
Gam Gam a whore? |
00:17:38 |
Obviously there's |
00:17:40 |
Hooker. Prostitute. Slut for money. |
00:17:42 |
- Now you're crossing the line. |
00:17:46 |
Und now, instead of having Deutschland's |
00:17:58 |
Ja, we are not your cousins. |
00:18:00 |
You are the offspring of the bastard son |
00:18:07 |
- Don't call Gam Gam a whore! She's not! |
00:18:10 |
Ja, you big tough guy. |
00:18:12 |
Do it now! Kill me. |
00:18:16 |
Typical Americans. This is why |
00:18:20 |
You get a few drinks in you |
00:18:23 |
You should go back to your strip malls |
00:18:27 |
Und then you can punch each other silly. |
00:18:31 |
Okay. Okay. |
00:18:33 |
Okay. Sounds like you guys |
00:18:37 |
Ja, maybe a little. |
00:18:40 |
- Oh, that's good. The champions. What? |
00:18:43 |
Why don't you pick your best two? |
00:18:48 |
Corn. |
00:18:50 |
We are laughing. |
00:18:53 |
- Our best two? You want our best two? |
00:18:56 |
How about our worst two, right? |
00:19:21 |
You take the big guy. |
00:19:25 |
You ready, du kleiner Hosenscheißer? |
00:19:29 |
Everyone at once. |
00:19:33 |
- Let's do this. |
00:19:45 |
Hey, boys, why don't you let us |
00:19:51 |
I remember my first beer. |
00:19:55 |
Prosit. |
00:20:43 |
Allow me to introduce our grandfather: |
00:20:46 |
Wolfgang von Wolfhausen. |
00:20:49 |
Take a good look... |
00:20:51 |
...for this is a real von Wolfhausen. |
00:20:54 |
Grandpapa. |
00:21:01 |
Oh, shit. |
00:21:04 |
So you are the progeny of Johan. |
00:21:08 |
I am guessing that he is the one |
00:21:14 |
Now... |
00:21:16 |
...where is our recipe? |
00:21:19 |
What fucking recipe? |
00:21:32 |
Friends... |
00:21:34 |
...this is all that remains |
00:21:39 |
...who ran away to America |
00:21:54 |
I'm a sucker for family reunions. |
00:22:00 |
Here are a couple of euros. |
00:22:03 |
Go back and get a BJ |
00:22:09 |
Now get out of here. |
00:22:10 |
BJ! BJ! BJ! BJ! BJ! BJ! |
00:22:42 |
They called Grandpa a thief |
00:22:45 |
We gotta go back. |
00:22:48 |
- Oh, come on, man, that's crazy. |
00:22:52 |
We can do what? |
00:22:54 |
Great Gam Gam. |
00:22:55 |
Mein boys. Oh, willkommen. |
00:23:02 |
Honey, what happened to your eye? |
00:23:04 |
I accidentally walked into a wall. |
00:23:07 |
I'll tell Tippy to get |
00:23:10 |
We put that on Janny's eye. |
00:23:12 |
So tell me, |
00:23:17 |
Yeah. Very beautiful. I mean, gorgeous. |
00:23:22 |
Was it a peaceful resting place? |
00:23:25 |
Have you ever been |
00:23:28 |
No, but I've been told it is wonderful. |
00:23:31 |
- Quiet, lovely. |
00:23:34 |
And how is Herr Schniedelwichsen? |
00:23:36 |
- Oh, he's fine. Great guy. |
00:23:38 |
He says hi. |
00:23:42 |
Oh, you boys have done a great thing. |
00:23:46 |
Now your grandpapa can rest in peace. |
00:23:55 |
She couldn't be more not a whore. |
00:23:57 |
We're gonna defend her honor. |
00:23:58 |
We're gonna defend Grandpa's honor! |
00:24:00 |
- We're gonna put together our own team! |
00:24:03 |
We'll get the biggest drinkers, the best |
00:24:06 |
Then we're gonna go back |
00:24:09 |
That's my brother! |
00:24:12 |
Beerfest it is. |
00:24:14 |
They want a war? |
00:24:15 |
We'll give them a war |
00:24:24 |
So how'd you find him? |
00:24:25 |
Some dude, used to work |
00:24:28 |
Haven't seen him since |
00:24:30 |
Oh, that's right. |
00:24:32 |
I heard that when the brewery gave |
00:24:36 |
I heard that too. |
00:24:39 |
There he is. |
00:24:42 |
You got nothing, baby. |
00:24:47 |
You got nothing! You got nothing! |
00:25:03 |
We're gonna win this thing. |
00:25:08 |
Can I have your autograph? |
00:25:10 |
Oh, no autographs, kids. |
00:25:11 |
No, no, no. Thanks anyway. |
00:25:13 |
Hey, guys. Good job out there, Naka. |
00:25:19 |
Hey, Landfill! Hey, big guy! |
00:25:22 |
Hey, look what the cat dragged in! |
00:25:25 |
I haven't seen you guys since... |
00:25:27 |
We were just saying that. |
00:25:29 |
We almost made it. |
00:25:35 |
What's going on? |
00:25:38 |
We heard you got fired from the brewery. |
00:25:42 |
Goddamn brewery! |
00:25:47 |
They brew 10,000 bottles of beer a day. |
00:25:49 |
I drink 45 off the assembly line, |
00:25:52 |
Jim Tobleson said they called in |
00:25:54 |
Jim Tobleson's a fucking Chatty Cathy. |
00:25:57 |
I did my three years up at the county pen. |
00:25:59 |
Made some friends, went Muslim. |
00:26:03 |
I heard that someone died that day. |
00:26:07 |
Yeah, somebody did die that day. |
00:26:12 |
Me. |
00:26:13 |
I had the greatest job in the world, |
00:26:18 |
Not to mention all the beer |
00:26:21 |
They took it away from me. |
00:26:24 |
Yep, I'd trade all this in if I could get |
00:26:29 |
What? |
00:26:37 |
There he is. |
00:26:38 |
Nathan Cornwell has discovered... |
00:26:39 |
...pneumono-ultra-microscopic- |
00:26:43 |
Big round of applause, people. |
00:26:46 |
You want that geek? |
00:26:48 |
What's he gonna do, check my urine? |
00:26:52 |
I met Finkelstein back in college. |
00:26:54 |
He was a real brainiac, that nerd. |
00:26:57 |
Studied everything about everything. |
00:26:59 |
So shut the fuck up. |
00:27:01 |
What are you doing? |
00:27:03 |
Clean out the floxinator |
00:27:06 |
People, listen up. Use your thumbs. |
00:27:09 |
Locate the seminal vesicle here, |
00:27:13 |
Then stroke it. |
00:27:16 |
Cup the gonads. |
00:27:19 |
Finky! |
00:27:20 |
Jan? Todd? |
00:27:23 |
- Hey, smart coat. |
00:27:29 |
What are you doing? |
00:27:31 |
We're extracting frog gamete |
00:27:33 |
You're jerking him off. |
00:27:36 |
- Who's the hippo? |
00:27:38 |
The name's Landfill. |
00:27:40 |
Listen, Fink. |
00:27:42 |
There's a competition |
00:27:47 |
- Come on. I'm really busy. |
00:27:49 |
You don't understand. I'm a respected |
00:27:54 |
Sorry. |
00:27:55 |
- We can't do it without you, Fink. |
00:27:58 |
I've got a house with a pool |
00:28:02 |
Hey! Don't do that! |
00:28:03 |
- I'm published in four journals. |
00:28:06 |
Toad Load Weekly? |
00:28:07 |
We need you, Fink. |
00:28:10 |
That sounds a little dramatic. |
00:28:13 |
That's the part we haven't told you. |
00:28:21 |
Germans? |
00:28:22 |
Yeah. Big, blond, asshole Germans. |
00:28:32 |
You got 15 minutes to tell me more. |
00:28:39 |
- Can you move over, please? |
00:28:43 |
What am I supposed to do? |
00:28:44 |
You have room. You're little. |
00:28:46 |
- You wanna sit on this side? |
00:28:51 |
Jan, who are we meeting out here? |
00:28:55 |
- Jan, who are we meeting out here? |
00:28:59 |
- What? No. |
00:29:02 |
- I'm putting a team together. |
00:29:04 |
- Who's Barry? |
00:29:06 |
Who's Barry Badrinath? |
00:29:08 |
Will you shut the hell up? Shut up. |
00:29:11 |
Barry Badrinath was the |
00:29:13 |
Best at Quarters, at Pong, |
00:29:18 |
We should put him on our team. |
00:29:20 |
Well, actually, Barry and Todd |
00:29:22 |
- See, Barry doinked Todd's girlfriend. |
00:29:25 |
- Zip it, Fink. |
00:29:26 |
Just think about Gam Gam |
00:29:29 |
- Is this guy really that good? |
00:29:32 |
He's the best. |
00:29:36 |
We should put him on our team, then. |
00:29:43 |
- There he is. |
00:29:46 |
Right there. |
00:29:48 |
Oh, my God. |
00:29:49 |
What happened to him? |
00:29:51 |
All right. It's a regular |
00:29:55 |
All right, here's how it works. |
00:29:56 |
One dollar to look at it. |
00:29:59 |
Three dollars to watch me touch it. |
00:30:02 |
That's lots of nice-looking manhood. |
00:30:04 |
Back the fuck up, Antonio! |
00:30:05 |
My dick! |
00:30:08 |
My apologies. |
00:30:10 |
Five to touch it |
00:30:12 |
Six dollars to touch it |
00:30:16 |
Oh, hey, Jan. How are you? |
00:30:23 |
Todd. And Fink. |
00:30:26 |
- Hey, looking good, Finky. |
00:30:29 |
I wish I could give you a deal here, |
00:30:33 |
So it's $10 for a BJ, |
00:30:38 |
What's a ZJ? |
00:30:40 |
If you have to ask, big man, |
00:30:43 |
I got $4. |
00:30:45 |
Barry, we didn't come here for a BJ... |
00:30:48 |
...or a ZJ or any kind of a J. |
00:30:52 |
Move along, then. |
00:30:55 |
Barry, wait. |
00:30:57 |
Jan, hold on. |
00:30:59 |
Barry! |
00:31:01 |
There's this big beer-games competition. |
00:31:03 |
We're putting a team together. |
00:31:05 |
- We want you. |
00:31:08 |
No, no, no. You'd be training |
00:31:12 |
- Thirty bucks? |
00:31:14 |
No, just show us some of |
00:31:21 |
Oh, please, Jan, let's get out of here. |
00:31:23 |
- No. Wait. |
00:31:25 |
Clearly, you've fallen on hard times. |
00:31:27 |
This would be a chance |
00:31:30 |
It's a chance to show you still got it. |
00:31:35 |
You bet your ass I do. |
00:31:37 |
Show them. |
00:31:41 |
Watch and learn, baby diapers. |
00:31:43 |
Just like college. |
00:31:56 |
It's nothing to worry about. |
00:32:00 |
I got it. I got it. |
00:32:02 |
All right, here we go. |
00:32:04 |
- A little sticky on the: |
00:32:07 |
- This guy blows. |
00:32:11 |
Glasses, maybe. I... |
00:32:18 |
What are you looking at? |
00:32:20 |
Barry, what happened to you? |
00:32:24 |
Get out of here! Get out of here! |
00:32:28 |
- Get out of here! |
00:32:30 |
- Get out of here! |
00:32:34 |
So, what about |
00:32:37 |
He'd down a beer ball |
00:32:39 |
He's no good. |
00:32:42 |
He went black? |
00:32:43 |
Don't be a moron. |
00:32:45 |
Most he can fit are two Triscuits |
00:32:48 |
Really? |
00:32:51 |
Oh, boy. |
00:32:53 |
Wolfhouses, I want on the team. |
00:32:56 |
Forget about it. You're done. |
00:32:59 |
Oh, yeah? |
00:33:13 |
He's got a gun! |
00:33:31 |
Unbelievable! |
00:33:33 |
That's incredible. |
00:33:35 |
I'm better when I'm drunk. |
00:33:37 |
- I'll say. |
00:33:40 |
Hey. Looks like we got ourselves a team! |
00:33:43 |
- Get them in there. |
00:33:49 |
Well, boys, if we're gonna train... |
00:33:53 |
...we're gonna need a training facility! |
00:34:00 |
It's perfect! |
00:34:03 |
It's amazing! |
00:34:05 |
Look at the size of this |
00:34:08 |
A direct-draw beer dispenser. |
00:34:10 |
Half-barrel capacity, |
00:34:13 |
These are really the coins? |
00:34:15 |
Hey. I think I found us |
00:34:21 |
Yeah, fuck it. |
00:34:24 |
Don't. That belonged to our grandpa. |
00:34:27 |
Sorry. |
00:34:30 |
Listen up, fellas. |
00:34:32 |
The next 11 months |
00:34:34 |
As tough as anything you've ever done. |
00:34:36 |
We're gonna drink beer. |
00:34:41 |
If anybody here isn't up to it... |
00:34:43 |
...I'm gonna give you one last chance |
00:34:49 |
- That's a good one, Todd. |
00:34:53 |
Because in this silver slice of |
00:34:57 |
Golden, delicious beer. |
00:34:59 |
And no one leaves here until we finish |
00:35:02 |
All right, let's have the keys. |
00:35:06 |
- All you guys. You too, big boy. |
00:35:10 |
All right, Fink, hit me. |
00:35:13 |
Sorry. I'm a mathlete, not an athlete. |
00:35:15 |
Hey, Barry, how about |
00:35:20 |
Good one. But I'll leave |
00:35:27 |
All right, guys, let's focus, huh? |
00:35:31 |
All right! |
00:35:34 |
Guys, those Germans |
00:35:37 |
Better than anything I've ever seen. |
00:35:39 |
Now, Fink, they've got |
00:35:42 |
There's a secret way to drink it. |
00:35:45 |
- You'll have to figure that out for us. |
00:35:48 |
One more thing, |
00:35:51 |
This is a super-secret competition. |
00:35:55 |
Or else what? |
00:35:57 |
The guy that brought us there, |
00:36:03 |
But let's not worry about that now. |
00:36:08 |
- Let's drink some beer! |
00:36:10 |
- All right! |
00:36:20 |
Ice cold. |
00:36:21 |
- Anyone else's cold? |
00:36:23 |
Drinking and dancing at the same time. |
00:36:26 |
Thought there might be a bug in there. |
00:36:29 |
My teeth hurt, it's so cold. |
00:36:32 |
- How many beers in this thing? |
00:36:35 |
A hundred and twenty-five? |
00:36:36 |
Might have a cavity here. |
00:36:40 |
- You're dead, bitch. |
00:36:43 |
Remember we made Fudgsicles out |
00:36:49 |
Eight points. |
00:36:53 |
These big ones have |
00:36:56 |
Nobody said it was gonna be easy. |
00:36:59 |
That shiner's sure starting to fade, huh? |
00:37:01 |
Yeah, I kind of wish it wouldn't. |
00:37:03 |
It's great motivation. |
00:37:05 |
I wouldn't mind having it |
00:37:08 |
Okay. |
00:37:18 |
You are a good friend. |
00:37:20 |
All right, here we go. |
00:37:26 |
Oh, yeah. |
00:37:28 |
I know you love it, Muscle Lips. |
00:37:30 |
Lap it up, you hungry son of a bitch. |
00:37:33 |
Sorry. |
00:37:34 |
Get a handle on your Frisbee, college boy. |
00:37:37 |
Don't go there. You do not sully a yarmulke, |
00:37:40 |
I don't know why you're here. |
00:37:43 |
I'll show you how to drink |
00:37:45 |
Fucking man cow. |
00:37:51 |
Hey, I think somebody's trying |
00:37:53 |
Look out, Germans! |
00:37:55 |
You got chutzpah, Fuckelstein. |
00:38:01 |
- That's great. |
00:38:03 |
About the old girlfriend thing. |
00:38:08 |
- I don't know. |
00:38:11 |
Wasn't even that good-looking. |
00:38:15 |
I mean, she just laid there, taking it |
00:38:21 |
I happen to have married |
00:38:24 |
Todd, no! |
00:38:26 |
Hey! Get off him! |
00:38:31 |
Someone's chewing my leg! |
00:38:48 |
I hate you, Badrinath! |
00:39:01 |
Oh, my God. Phil. Phil, honey. |
00:39:06 |
Oh, my God. |
00:39:09 |
Hello? Yes. |
00:39:10 |
We need an ambulance immediately |
00:39:16 |
Come on, Phil. |
00:39:24 |
Oh, my God, what is that? |
00:39:26 |
Ham. |
00:39:29 |
Phil? |
00:39:51 |
Not again. |
00:40:20 |
How'd we do? |
00:40:24 |
Not good. |
00:40:28 |
If we're gonna drink like the Germans, |
00:40:33 |
You don't have to yell. |
00:40:36 |
Don't say anything to Great Gam Gam |
00:40:39 |
Don't talk about her being a whore. |
00:40:41 |
- She's a whore? |
00:40:43 |
- So what if she was a whore? |
00:40:46 |
I'm just saying, some of |
00:40:48 |
Yeah, we know. |
00:40:51 |
Nice to meet you, Mrs. Wolfhouse. |
00:40:55 |
- Can I help you? |
00:40:57 |
My name's Cherry. |
00:40:59 |
- Is everything okay? |
00:41:02 |
Great Gam Gam. |
00:41:03 |
Cherry is here to help me |
00:41:09 |
Mein darling great-grandboys... |
00:41:12 |
...und their delicious-looking friends. |
00:41:15 |
Come in. |
00:41:21 |
And summer sausage. |
00:41:24 |
Just came out of the refrigerator. |
00:41:26 |
Here, try this. Oh, no, wait. |
00:41:42 |
No, that's fine. We're okay. |
00:41:43 |
When we were at Oktoberfest, we noticed |
00:41:48 |
- Oh, yeah, that is true. That is a true thing. |
00:41:51 |
Well, from the time |
00:41:54 |
...Germans are raised |
00:41:57 |
- How? |
00:41:59 |
...they train high up in the Alps. |
00:42:02 |
Interesting. High-altitude training. |
00:42:06 |
They are also taught to relax |
00:42:10 |
Germans can pretty much |
00:42:13 |
I myself can probably fit in at least... |
00:42:18 |
- Here, let me show you. |
00:42:22 |
What else do the Germans do? |
00:42:23 |
They also practice by drinking |
00:42:28 |
- The what? |
00:42:30 |
- Because of the pH balance? |
00:42:32 |
Because if you can drink ram's piss, |
00:42:38 |
- She said "fuck." |
00:42:41 |
No, I was saying it was a tradition |
00:42:45 |
Damn, that's nasty. The old country |
00:42:48 |
Now, come on, baby, |
00:42:50 |
- Come on. |
00:42:52 |
See you boys later. |
00:42:55 |
I always sleep better |
00:43:06 |
Look, if you ask me... |
00:43:07 |
...I'd have to say the whole whore thing |
00:43:11 |
Bavarians have been warming |
00:43:15 |
Would you say |
00:43:17 |
Shut up, Landfill. |
00:43:18 |
All right, but more importantly, |
00:43:37 |
I'm gonna fucking puke. |
00:43:40 |
That's the most |
00:43:43 |
I doubt that, playboy. |
00:43:47 |
Oh, God, is there anything better? |
00:43:49 |
Not right now. |
00:43:53 |
You know, fellas, |
00:43:56 |
...drinking ram piss isn't the way to go. |
00:43:59 |
Maybe we should get out there and |
00:44:02 |
- Smart idea, college boy. |
00:44:05 |
Yeah, challenge somebody. |
00:44:07 |
Let's get bombed! |
00:44:09 |
Yeah! |
00:44:34 |
Hey. Who ordered |
00:44:54 |
We're the party brigade. |
00:44:56 |
We're here to play |
00:45:05 |
Drink. You're rowing on the wrong side. |
00:45:07 |
You've gotta drink. |
00:45:08 |
I've got one. |
00:45:10 |
I never made out with Tommy Mullarky. |
00:45:17 |
My turn. I never fooled around |
00:45:31 |
This one's called the Strikeout. |
00:45:33 |
What you're gonna do is take a hit... |
00:45:35 |
...chug your beer, do a shot, |
00:45:39 |
Here goes nothing. |
00:45:44 |
Careful, dude. It's gonna fuck you up. |
00:46:05 |
That's not bad at all. |
00:46:09 |
"Strikeout," right? |
00:46:12 |
That's nothing. |
00:46:15 |
Don't... |
00:46:17 |
...really, however, see what... |
00:46:20 |
...all the... |
00:46:22 |
...fuss is about. |
00:46:24 |
- Oh, yeah. Way to go Dr. Finklestein. |
00:46:28 |
- Yeah. It's me, Jerry, your paperboy. |
00:46:32 |
While I have you here, you forgot |
00:47:10 |
Wake up, Finky. Wake up. |
00:47:14 |
Cops, cops, cops! |
00:47:29 |
Dude, aren't you like 40? |
00:47:35 |
I'm 33. |
00:47:44 |
Hey, what the hell? |
00:47:46 |
Help! |
00:47:50 |
What a great morning. |
00:48:10 |
Night, ladies. |
00:48:11 |
- Night, Todd. |
00:48:13 |
Say hi to the missus. |
00:48:15 |
All right, guys, come on. |
00:48:16 |
- One, two, three. |
00:48:20 |
My glasses! |
00:48:24 |
Two, three, go. |
00:48:31 |
Maybe we'll move to mugs tomorrow. |
00:48:32 |
He's so strict. |
00:48:34 |
Hey, Finky... |
00:48:35 |
...how you doing with The Boot? |
00:48:38 |
I have figured out the problem, |
00:48:41 |
Check this out. |
00:48:42 |
Hey, fellas, gather up. |
00:48:50 |
Here's the thing. |
00:48:51 |
When you drink, the shape of the boot |
00:48:56 |
The bubble. |
00:48:57 |
This air bubble |
00:48:59 |
...and explodes towards your face |
00:49:02 |
In your face, it explodes. |
00:49:04 |
- It's impossible to handle. |
00:49:07 |
It's unavoidable. |
00:49:10 |
I find the whole thing frustrating |
00:49:13 |
It's frustrating. |
00:49:15 |
It's frustrating. |
00:49:16 |
It's frustrating. |
00:49:18 |
It's frustrating. It's frustrat... |
00:49:21 |
Can you get the puppet off of me?! |
00:49:23 |
- Hey, it's Popo. |
00:49:26 |
You knocked his head off. |
00:49:27 |
Wait, wait. There's something in there. |
00:49:30 |
Hey, what is that? |
00:49:33 |
- Looks like it's German. |
00:49:36 |
- Yeah, so? |
00:49:38 |
I used to work |
00:49:46 |
Yeah, it's a beer recipe. |
00:49:47 |
- Really? |
00:49:50 |
Must be the old German beer recipe. |
00:49:52 |
Those Germans said our grandfather |
00:49:55 |
- If he had it, why didn't he brew it? |
00:49:58 |
- Maybe he didn't know it was in here. |
00:50:01 |
If this is the recipe, this used to be |
00:50:08 |
Okay, we want three cups. |
00:50:10 |
That's right. Good. |
00:50:11 |
Pour it on in, pour it on in. |
00:50:13 |
Okay, good. Let's have a little... |
00:50:35 |
- How is it, Jan? |
00:50:37 |
It's... |
00:50:39 |
It's beautiful. |
00:50:48 |
- It's magical. |
00:50:50 |
I wish I could brush my teeth with it. |
00:50:52 |
- I wanna put my dick in it. |
00:50:54 |
I wish it were winter, we could |
00:50:57 |
Then melt it in the springtime |
00:51:01 |
Hey, what's the matter, Jan? |
00:51:07 |
This means Gam Gam |
00:51:22 |
It is good, it is good. |
00:51:27 |
I can't serve it fast enough. |
00:51:29 |
- Hey, buddy. |
00:51:32 |
Hey, Wolfie. Give me a Schnitz. |
00:51:36 |
- Nice bottle. |
00:51:41 |
Look at this guy! He's getting better. |
00:51:45 |
Dude, you want a Schnitz? |
00:51:48 |
Do you want a tip with that? |
00:51:51 |
Yeah. |
00:51:53 |
Good one. |
00:51:54 |
- Give me six Schnitzes. |
00:52:03 |
Drink, drink, drink! |
00:52:17 |
Good, good, good. |
00:52:22 |
Special delivery! |
00:52:24 |
I have this special delivery |
00:52:26 |
Can't you see we are training? |
00:52:28 |
I am so sorry, but this package |
00:52:32 |
...and look, it is marked: |
00:52:56 |
What is it, Grandpapa? |
00:53:02 |
They have the recipe. |
00:53:05 |
- Who else knows of this package? |
00:53:08 |
Only me. It's just me. |
00:53:09 |
- Dispose of him. |
00:53:11 |
No, no, no! What about |
00:53:14 |
We're not going to shoot you. |
00:53:16 |
Boys, prepare your things. |
00:53:19 |
We are going to America. |
00:53:22 |
To get our recipe! |
00:53:27 |
Hasta la vista, messenger boy. |
00:53:33 |
Up your nose mit the rubber hose! |
00:53:40 |
I don't really have a move |
00:53:44 |
Are you out? |
00:53:46 |
Finish your beer, asshole. |
00:53:49 |
Asshole! |
00:53:50 |
Asshole! Asshole! Asshole! |
00:53:55 |
Eat that tomato in one bite, asshole. |
00:53:58 |
Asshole! Asshole! Asshole! |
00:54:04 |
- Good job, asshole. |
00:54:06 |
- Where you going? |
00:54:08 |
Watch out. He's coming your way. |
00:00:04 |
Hey, Jan. |
00:00:07 |
- You all right? |
00:00:10 |
Like the love. |
00:00:20 |
Yeah. |
00:00:31 |
Looking good, Barry. |
00:00:34 |
Looking good, |
00:00:53 |
We gotta get you out of those |
00:00:57 |
- What? |
00:01:00 |
- Get away from me. |
00:01:33 |
Two shots, please. |
00:01:35 |
How about a little Sex on the Beach? |
00:01:38 |
I think my place is closer. |
00:01:42 |
- You wanna get out of here? |
00:01:45 |
Oh, yeah. Something like that. |
00:01:50 |
I'm gonna go grab a taxi, baby. |
00:01:52 |
Okay. |
00:01:56 |
- Yeah? |
00:01:59 |
You kidding me? She's hot as hell. |
00:02:01 |
I'm looking for |
00:02:03 |
You sure you wanna do this? |
00:02:05 |
I'm drunk. You're drunk. |
00:02:14 |
Hi, Daddy. |
00:02:16 |
Hey, Mama. |
00:02:22 |
Damn, that's nasty. |
00:02:29 |
Come here. |
00:02:32 |
I'm gonna butter your bread, baby. |
00:02:34 |
Nice and toasty, please. |
00:03:09 |
- You wanna get out of here? |
00:03:14 |
Something like that. |
00:03:20 |
I think I dropped my monkey. |
00:03:27 |
How many licks does it take |
00:03:32 |
I'm gonna rock your world. |
00:03:35 |
I am going to break your dick off. |
00:03:38 |
Suck them. |
00:03:40 |
Lick them clean, Daddy. |
00:03:42 |
Suck them. Suck them. |
00:03:44 |
Lick them clean. Yes! |
00:03:46 |
Suck them! Suck them! |
00:03:48 |
Now, don't peek. |
00:03:52 |
Quit squirming! |
00:03:59 |
Oh, Daddy. |
00:04:01 |
Oh, you dirty motherfucker, right there. |
00:04:16 |
Come on. |
00:04:17 |
I knew it the whole time. |
00:04:37 |
I'm better than you! |
00:04:54 |
Somebody had the pig snouts over here? |
00:04:56 |
Who ordered the pig snouts? |
00:05:18 |
Gentlemen... |
00:05:20 |
...it appears it is time to initiate |
00:05:29 |
Is that the title we all agreed on? |
00:05:31 |
I kind of like Operation Stein Grab. |
00:05:34 |
Or what about Brauheist 2006? |
00:05:36 |
- Oh, that's a good one. |
00:05:39 |
- Ja, it's fun. |
00:05:41 |
- What if it takes longer than a year? |
00:05:46 |
That's true. I have big plans for 2007. |
00:05:48 |
Ja, we should take a vote, because |
00:05:53 |
This is not a democracy. |
00:05:55 |
We always waste so much time |
00:05:58 |
I'm sick of it. |
00:05:59 |
I came up with Operation Recipe Retrieve, |
00:06:03 |
- Okay, fine. |
00:06:07 |
I'm sorry. |
00:06:09 |
It's just that I start to feel |
00:06:13 |
I had a bad experience once. |
00:06:16 |
Thank you. |
00:06:18 |
Now, let's go get what belongs to us. |
00:06:22 |
Battle stations. |
00:06:29 |
Landfill! Landfill! Landfill! |
00:06:32 |
Watch out. Okay, here comes |
00:06:37 |
Damn it! It's the bubble! |
00:06:39 |
I know. No, it's a bitch. |
00:06:41 |
You're getting better. Next time. |
00:06:43 |
- Hey, guys. |
00:06:44 |
- Can I try that? |
00:06:46 |
- Hey, fill her up, okay? |
00:06:50 |
- Nothing. |
00:06:52 |
You said you were practicing. |
00:06:57 |
Hey, honey, let's go take a look |
00:07:01 |
No, I don't wanna look |
00:07:04 |
- They're really shiny. Come on. |
00:07:08 |
Well, hello, Dirty Harrys! |
00:07:11 |
Holy cameltoe. |
00:07:13 |
Ja, the last time we saw you... |
00:07:15 |
...you were wearing |
00:07:19 |
You have one minute |
00:07:21 |
We have come for our recipe. |
00:07:23 |
That's our recipe. |
00:07:25 |
We figured you would say that. |
00:07:28 |
Despite your thievery, we are prepared |
00:07:33 |
...in cash. |
00:07:34 |
Big deal. |
00:07:37 |
Come on, those are euros. |
00:07:39 |
What's that, like pesos? |
00:07:42 |
That is legal European tender. |
00:07:44 |
We should have brought deutsche marks! |
00:07:46 |
- But they are so hard to find! |
00:07:48 |
No, there's five ATMs. |
00:07:51 |
No, there's a Quickie Mart |
00:07:58 |
Enough! |
00:08:03 |
Here is 500,000 American dollars. |
00:08:07 |
It's not for sale. |
00:08:10 |
Well, why don't we make it interesting? |
00:08:14 |
You seem like sporting fellows, no? |
00:08:24 |
I am so sorry. I'm really sorry. |
00:08:27 |
How about a match? |
00:08:30 |
You win, you keep the recipe |
00:08:34 |
We win... |
00:08:36 |
...the recipe is ours. |
00:08:39 |
All right, Barry. It's showtime. |
00:08:42 |
Yeah, there's something |
00:08:46 |
I don't play Pong anymore. |
00:08:48 |
What are you talking about, man? |
00:08:55 |
- Come on. Let's go kick their ass. |
00:08:58 |
Jesus, calm down. |
00:09:00 |
Pull it together. |
00:09:03 |
Your wife didn't think I was crazy when |
00:09:07 |
- The double-team. |
00:09:08 |
Yeah, that's right. |
00:09:12 |
- With the Silo? |
00:09:14 |
Let me tell you something: |
00:09:16 |
- He wasn't storing corn in that thing. |
00:09:20 |
Fuck it! I quit. |
00:09:23 |
What? Barry! |
00:09:28 |
The fuck is that? |
00:09:30 |
Are we playing or not? |
00:09:31 |
Time to scheiße or get off the crapper. |
00:09:34 |
Get bent, umlaut. We're gonna sell |
00:09:37 |
You are making a big mistake, cowboy. |
00:09:41 |
Don't think you have seen the last of us. |
00:09:51 |
Oh, I forgot the money. |
00:09:56 |
You should get a pinball machine |
00:09:59 |
That machine works just fine. |
00:10:00 |
Does it? |
00:10:16 |
Folks, I'm sorry. Finish your meals. |
00:10:18 |
Enjoy. Let's... Come on, |
00:10:26 |
- Fuck. |
00:10:32 |
- You know we should have played them. |
00:10:37 |
- What do you wanna do about Barry? |
00:10:40 |
We can get someone else. |
00:10:43 |
What's that? |
00:10:45 |
Local family restaurant... |
00:10:47 |
- That's us. |
00:10:50 |
Exposé Colorado has this exclusive |
00:10:55 |
...who will tell a story that will curdle |
00:10:58 |
What the fuck? |
00:11:00 |
We were undocumented aliens smuggled off |
00:11:05 |
You gotta be kidding me. |
00:11:07 |
It's very common for German restaurants |
00:11:10 |
It's true, Sandy. |
00:11:12 |
Tell us about the work conditions. |
00:11:14 |
The biggest surprise, |
00:11:17 |
...was the unsanitary conditions. |
00:11:18 |
Yeah. Last month my finger was cut off |
00:11:21 |
When my finger fell into the cake batter, |
00:11:25 |
- They just kept making the cupcakes. |
00:11:27 |
And the rats... Just yesterday I opened up |
00:11:32 |
...and guess what I found? |
00:11:36 |
- It's true, Sandy. |
00:11:38 |
- Oh, my God. |
00:11:40 |
Now we really gotta kick |
00:11:42 |
Absolutely. |
00:11:44 |
Schnitzengiggle Tavern. |
00:11:46 |
No, no. It was totally false. |
00:11:51 |
Yeah, I understand. |
00:11:54 |
Canceled reservation. |
00:11:57 |
Schnitzengiggle. |
00:12:00 |
No, no, no. No rats. No rats at all. |
00:12:02 |
We've been rat-free since 1976. |
00:12:06 |
I promise... |
00:12:09 |
All right, no problem. |
00:12:10 |
- Another one? |
00:12:13 |
Schnitzengiggle. |
00:12:15 |
No, I'm very happy |
00:12:19 |
Yes. This is a really bad time. Thanks. |
00:12:22 |
God. Solicitors. |
00:12:25 |
Take this one. |
00:12:28 |
Schnitzengiggle Tavern. |
00:12:31 |
- It's the health board. |
00:12:34 |
- Give me this. |
00:12:42 |
Guys... |
00:12:43 |
...I'm really sorry... |
00:12:45 |
...but I gotta quit the team. |
00:12:48 |
I got fired from the lab |
00:12:51 |
So a couple of frogs didn't get |
00:12:54 |
No, you don't understand. |
00:12:56 |
I don't know how it happened, |
00:12:58 |
...I cloned a batch of monkey-frogs. |
00:13:01 |
Don't they hand out |
00:13:04 |
Let me see that. |
00:13:05 |
Let me see you little... |
00:13:08 |
- Oh, my God. |
00:13:10 |
What have you done? |
00:13:16 |
Landfill? |
00:13:24 |
What's wrong? |
00:13:26 |
Krista said she couldn't handle |
00:13:30 |
She took the kids and left. |
00:13:32 |
Oh, my God. |
00:13:33 |
You've got kids? |
00:13:38 |
It's okay. It's okay. I'm okay. |
00:13:41 |
I just need some time. |
00:13:44 |
- Maybe a beer. |
00:13:48 |
Thank you. |
00:13:54 |
Did you know he had kids? |
00:14:27 |
Schwarzemaiden to Iron Eagle. |
00:14:31 |
Iron Eagle, are you there? |
00:14:32 |
Mission accomplished. |
00:14:35 |
Mission accomplished. I got it. |
00:14:38 |
I got it. |
00:14:44 |
Cherry? |
00:14:47 |
Hey. Okay, now. |
00:14:49 |
- Don't be rash, Phillip. |
00:14:52 |
I was in the employ of the von Wolfhausen |
00:14:57 |
And now that I have |
00:14:59 |
Well, you're gonna have to |
00:15:13 |
What? |
00:15:48 |
Yeah, girlfriend! |
00:15:53 |
Come on! |
00:15:59 |
Yeah! |
00:16:15 |
Feel that pulling you down? |
00:16:20 |
It's like quicksand. |
00:16:22 |
Say goodbye. |
00:16:59 |
Love you. |
00:17:02 |
Hey, Landfill, where are you, buddy? |
00:17:05 |
Why don't we have a beer |
00:17:07 |
Lan... |
00:17:15 |
No! |
00:17:37 |
That's it. We're packing it in. |
00:17:41 |
What, the team? |
00:17:43 |
The team, the beer, the restaurant. |
00:17:45 |
- What? No, you're crazy... |
00:17:50 |
Our friend is dead. |
00:17:53 |
It's over. |
00:18:38 |
Landfill could eat a ton. |
00:18:43 |
But he could also love a ton. |
00:18:49 |
He had this habit |
00:18:54 |
I called him "The Tiger Shark." |
00:18:56 |
I used to joke |
00:19:00 |
...you would find a license plate |
00:19:07 |
One time, he farted an entire plum. |
00:19:16 |
I was plumb surprised. |
00:19:20 |
I always told him |
00:19:24 |
...but he never listened to me. |
00:19:28 |
But that was Landfill. |
00:19:30 |
He was a fat asshole. |
00:19:35 |
But... |
00:19:39 |
...he was my fat asshole. |
00:20:17 |
- Hello. |
00:20:21 |
- God, you're looking good. |
00:20:23 |
Wow, what have you been up to? |
00:20:27 |
Me, I... |
00:20:29 |
- Working on bridges. Under bridges. |
00:20:34 |
Yeah. Yeah. |
00:20:37 |
- Still in contact with the Silo? |
00:20:46 |
I'll talk to you later. Bye. |
00:20:50 |
Sorry. Hi. |
00:20:52 |
Good to see you. |
00:20:54 |
- Krista, I'm so sorry. |
00:20:57 |
I appreciate it. Thank you. |
00:20:59 |
- Krista, I can't begin to tell you how sorry... |
00:21:10 |
Oh, my God. |
00:21:13 |
Oh, my God! |
00:21:42 |
Great Gam Gam. |
00:21:44 |
I too came to pay my respects |
00:21:48 |
But unlike you, I am not weeping. |
00:21:53 |
We're not weeping. We're mourning. |
00:21:56 |
- When were you going to tell me? |
00:21:59 |
That you are not competing in Beerfest. |
00:22:03 |
- How did you know about that? |
00:22:09 |
- We should see if they got crab cakes left. |
00:22:12 |
Stay put, you. |
00:22:14 |
I want you all to hear the true story... |
00:22:17 |
...of the Baron Ludwig von Wolfhausen, |
00:22:21 |
...with a beautiful young Bavarian whore. |
00:22:27 |
So you really were a whore? |
00:22:29 |
What do you think this is? |
00:22:31 |
You said you got kicked |
00:22:33 |
This is the mark of the whore. |
00:22:39 |
It was a simple time, a beautiful time. |
00:22:43 |
You see, the Baron Ludwig |
00:22:53 |
But we had to keep our love secret... |
00:22:57 |
...because he was married |
00:23:01 |
We also had to keep |
00:23:04 |
...because he was |
00:23:07 |
Wait, Grandpa was the first-born? |
00:23:10 |
Yes. |
00:23:12 |
But the baroness found out about it, |
00:23:15 |
...and had us tarred and feathered |
00:23:20 |
You two are the rightful heirs |
00:23:24 |
You should have the balls |
00:23:27 |
Wow, you even talk like a whore. |
00:23:29 |
We are all whores in some way, |
00:23:35 |
She's right. |
00:23:36 |
You boys are a team, und a good one. |
00:23:40 |
If you can't do it for your grandfather |
00:23:45 |
...do it for yourselves. |
00:23:48 |
- I'm in. |
00:23:50 |
- Hell, yeah! I'm in. |
00:23:52 |
- Yeah! |
00:23:56 |
I can't play Pong. |
00:24:01 |
It happened a couple years after college. |
00:24:04 |
I was in Thailand, |
00:24:10 |
I was in a real high-stakes game |
00:24:14 |
Turned out the guys I was playing |
00:24:18 |
After I beat them... |
00:24:21 |
...they beat me. |
00:24:24 |
Worked me over pretty good. |
00:24:28 |
And this is hard to say... |
00:24:33 |
...but they held me down... |
00:24:37 |
...and they shoved |
00:24:44 |
It's never been the same. |
00:24:47 |
I'm damaged goods. |
00:24:49 |
Gosh, Barry, I'm so sorry. |
00:24:51 |
I don't know what I would do if somebody |
00:24:56 |
Wasn't the handle. |
00:25:01 |
I've been shitting pancakes ever since. |
00:25:05 |
Mr. Badrinath... |
00:25:08 |
...we are not so different, you and I. |
00:25:13 |
I've had all kinds of things |
00:25:17 |
I got over it. |
00:25:20 |
You will too. |
00:25:27 |
You will too. |
00:25:39 |
- So much to digest in there. |
00:25:42 |
Calgon, take me away. |
00:25:45 |
You guys are my family. |
00:25:48 |
Without you, I got nothing. |
00:25:53 |
Let's do this for Landfill... |
00:25:56 |
...and for Johan... |
00:25:57 |
...and for Great Gam Gam. |
00:26:07 |
One question. |
00:26:09 |
Who we gonna get to replace Landfill? |
00:26:12 |
Now, this is the party |
00:26:17 |
Landfill? You're alive? |
00:26:21 |
No, I'm not Landfill. |
00:26:25 |
I'm Landfill's twin brother, Gil. |
00:26:28 |
- Gil? |
00:26:30 |
I taught Landfill |
00:26:33 |
I wanna fulfill his legacy |
00:26:38 |
- You must be Fink. |
00:26:41 |
Landfill told me everything about you. |
00:26:43 |
I feel like I know all you guys. |
00:26:45 |
So we won't have that awkward |
00:26:48 |
- Perfect. |
00:26:50 |
- Name it. |
00:26:54 |
...I was hoping maybe you guys |
00:26:58 |
- Yeah, sure, sure. |
00:27:00 |
It'd be like we never lost Landfill. |
00:27:03 |
Landfill... |
00:27:05 |
...it would be an honor |
00:27:13 |
Cheers. |
00:27:17 |
Oh, my God, he's faster than Landfill. |
00:27:35 |
Oh, my God, what is that, bratwurst? |
00:27:37 |
- He even smells like Landfill. |
00:27:41 |
Wait! |
00:27:43 |
- I wanna bask in it. |
00:27:48 |
Welcome back, Landfill. |
00:27:53 |
Hey, let's go get sour on some Krauts. |
00:27:55 |
Yeah! |
00:27:57 |
- Yeah! |
00:28:00 |
Yeah! |
00:28:48 |
Landfill Two, |
00:28:52 |
Well, thank you, little lady. |
00:28:55 |
Yeah! |
00:29:24 |
Are we lost? |
00:29:27 |
The thing about it is, you know, |
00:29:30 |
- What? |
00:29:32 |
We been training for an entire year, |
00:29:36 |
...and you don't know where this is? |
00:29:39 |
- Can it, college boy! |
00:29:42 |
- Hey, guys. Please, give it a rest. |
00:29:46 |
It might work. I did this study in college: |
00:29:48 |
Finkelstein's Theory on Effects of Alcohol |
00:29:52 |
- English. |
00:29:54 |
I made people drink massive quantities, then |
00:29:58 |
Now, in the morning, |
00:30:01 |
But when I got them drunk again, |
00:30:04 |
- Bullshit. |
00:30:06 |
Cowboy on one side, |
00:30:10 |
- I got it published. |
00:30:11 |
Maxim magazine, under the title |
00:30:16 |
- All right, let's do this. |
00:30:19 |
- He was. |
00:30:21 |
All right, okay, I was. |
00:30:32 |
Anything? |
00:30:33 |
Sorry. But I have been training |
00:30:39 |
Drink. |
00:30:49 |
- Sober as a bird. |
00:30:54 |
Here. Try this. |
00:31:28 |
The password! |
00:31:40 |
- That was great. |
00:31:44 |
Oh, come on. |
00:31:45 |
- That's cheap. |
00:31:50 |
I got an idea. |
00:31:55 |
The pa! |
00:32:40 |
Silence. |
00:32:45 |
The old Trojan keg. |
00:32:48 |
Very clever for Americans. |
00:32:50 |
- Now get them out of here. |
00:32:55 |
We're here to honor our grandfather, |
00:32:58 |
The stableboy thief? |
00:33:00 |
No. Your half-brother. |
00:33:02 |
Your older half-brother and rightful heir |
00:33:07 |
Oh, please. |
00:33:08 |
Johan wasn't even Ludwig's |
00:33:11 |
No? |
00:33:16 |
Look at the portrait. |
00:33:18 |
Not a true offspring? |
00:33:21 |
I'd say it looks pretty close to me, eh? |
00:33:23 |
You know the von Wolfhausen brewery |
00:33:25 |
Even if your silly fairy tale was true, |
00:33:31 |
Get the fuck out of here. |
00:33:33 |
- Guards. |
00:33:35 |
We came here to drink some beer. |
00:33:37 |
Are you gonna let us do that, or are you |
00:33:42 |
Let them drink! |
00:33:43 |
Yeah! Let them compete! |
00:33:46 |
Let them drink! |
00:33:48 |
Let them drink! |
00:33:49 |
Let them drink! |
00:33:51 |
Let them drink! |
00:33:52 |
Grandpapa, we've crushed them once. |
00:33:54 |
Let us do it again, huh? |
00:33:56 |
Let us humiliate them. |
00:33:58 |
Please, Opy, we can do this. |
00:34:00 |
- We can do it. |
00:34:02 |
Okay. |
00:34:04 |
Why not? For shits and giggle. |
00:34:05 |
Let them drink! |
00:34:56 |
Beer drinkers... |
00:34:58 |
...welcome to Beerfest. |
00:35:01 |
- Yeah! |
00:35:04 |
You are the privileged few. |
00:35:07 |
We got the Brits in Round One. |
00:35:10 |
We already kicked their asses in WWII. |
00:35:13 |
Cheerio, let's do it again. |
00:35:15 |
Drink well. Drink with honor. |
00:35:18 |
Let the games begin. |
00:35:23 |
Beerfest! Beerfest! Beerfest! |
00:35:28 |
First round is best of five. |
00:35:31 |
U.S.A. versus England. |
00:35:36 |
You're all fur coat |
00:35:39 |
- I'm sorry. One more time? |
00:35:41 |
We're gonna put the skitters |
00:35:46 |
- Do you know what he's saying? |
00:35:51 |
Come on, big boy. |
00:35:54 |
That's all you, Landfill. All you. |
00:35:58 |
Come on! |
00:36:02 |
Come on, motherfucker! It's time! |
00:36:06 |
Come on, baby. It's all you, buddy. |
00:37:34 |
How about this? How about that? |
00:37:39 |
Now, how do I say this? The Mexican. |
00:38:36 |
Championship round, |
00:38:51 |
All right. This is what we came for, |
00:38:54 |
Yeah, the Germans! |
00:38:59 |
Oh, that's good. |
00:39:00 |
Oh, my God. |
00:39:03 |
Oh, my God. |
00:39:05 |
Oh, my God! |
00:39:06 |
What's up, Finky? |
00:39:08 |
I got it. Beating the boot. |
00:39:11 |
It's all about fluid dynamics |
00:39:16 |
I missed that first part |
00:39:19 |
Pay attention. I'm only doing this once, |
00:39:24 |
Do me a favor, top me off. |
00:39:26 |
Thank you. Okay. |
00:39:30 |
Now, look. The bubble is essentially |
00:39:33 |
...that grows and grows |
00:39:35 |
...then it pops and explodes |
00:39:38 |
So, what you wanna do |
00:39:41 |
...by spinning the boot |
00:39:43 |
When the bubble hits the corner, |
00:39:46 |
...and shoot beer down your throats. |
00:39:47 |
So, what you're saying is, |
00:39:50 |
...just turn the boot. |
00:39:52 |
If we find ourselves in a |
00:39:56 |
Way to go, Finky. |
00:39:58 |
All right. |
00:40:02 |
Yeah! |
00:40:05 |
I'm still peeing! I'm still going! |
00:40:12 |
We're gonna wipe our schwanz on you. |
00:40:15 |
Bring it on, meine bitch. |
00:40:18 |
Championship round is best of seven. |
00:40:21 |
Und jetzt... |
00:40:23 |
...for the ultimate battle! |
00:40:32 |
First up, long-distance krügerbounce. |
00:40:36 |
Distance, 10 meters. |
00:40:41 |
What do you say, Barr? |
00:40:42 |
Watch and learn. |
00:40:50 |
Shaking your butt. |
00:40:53 |
Move the bucket 20 meters. |
00:40:58 |
Twenty meters! |
00:40:59 |
Twenty meters. |
00:41:02 |
Oh, yeah? |
00:41:03 |
Thirty meters. |
00:41:06 |
Thirty meters. |
00:41:07 |
Okay. Let's see it. |
00:41:17 |
Yeah! |
00:41:31 |
Germany, the winner! |
00:41:35 |
It's okay. It's okay. |
00:41:51 |
Yes! |
00:41:56 |
U.S.A. sucks! |
00:41:58 |
Germany, three. |
00:42:00 |
U.S.A., zero. |
00:42:03 |
If Germany wins, they are the champions! |
00:42:13 |
Hold. Hold on. Wait a minute. |
00:42:16 |
Herr Referee... |
00:42:18 |
...there is an American player |
00:42:21 |
And the rule says every competitor |
00:42:24 |
...disqualification. |
00:42:26 |
Hold on there, Hansel. |
00:42:27 |
That is the rule. |
00:42:29 |
Your fifth teammate must compete now. |
00:42:31 |
Are you talking about me? |
00:42:40 |
Jan, if we let him play, we're gonna |
00:42:44 |
You heard the guy. |
00:42:46 |
I'll play with him. |
00:42:51 |
Barry, are you sure? |
00:42:53 |
Sure as schnitzel. |
00:43:01 |
Hey, Barr-zo, I'm proud of you. |
00:43:04 |
Hey, thanks. |
00:43:06 |
Hey, Comrades, how about loser |
00:43:11 |
I like that. |
00:43:14 |
Volley for serve. |
00:43:17 |
You know you have to hit the ball. |
00:43:23 |
What do you think about that, fuckhead? |
00:43:25 |
Yeah, Barry, you got him. He's yours. |
00:43:33 |
What do you think about that, headfuck? |
00:44:07 |
Match point! |
00:44:09 |
Come on, we gotta win this one. |
00:44:11 |
You got nothing. Bring it. |
00:44:16 |
Jiminy. |
00:44:20 |
Come on, Barry. |
00:44:47 |
Wow, what a shot! |
00:44:48 |
Hey, Todd, |
00:44:52 |
Hey, Barry, |
00:45:00 |
What's the name of the game? |
00:45:02 |
Thumper! |
00:45:03 |
And why do we play it? |
00:45:05 |
To get fucked up! |
00:45:16 |
No! No! |
00:45:19 |
No, I didn't! No, I did this! |
00:45:22 |
Bullshit! I did the... |
00:45:24 |
Look at the scoreboard! Scoreboard! |
00:45:39 |
I'm burying you. |
00:45:41 |
You're not even close, girlie. |
00:45:42 |
Halt! |
00:45:46 |
You're worried now. |
00:45:54 |
Take that. Moment of truth. |
00:45:57 |
Germany, 224. |
00:46:01 |
That's good, that's good. |
00:46:03 |
U.S. A... |
00:46:06 |
...228. |
00:46:17 |
All tied up. Sudden death. |
00:46:20 |
You know what that means. |
00:46:23 |
Das Boot! |
00:46:30 |
Das Boot! Das Boot! |
00:46:31 |
Das Boot! Das Boot! Das Boot! |
00:46:34 |
Hey, guys, this is that moment. |
00:46:37 |
The moment that only exists in sports. |
00:46:39 |
The moment where the good guys |
00:46:42 |
The moment that, |
00:46:44 |
...this would be shown |
00:46:46 |
...to get the home-team fans |
00:46:50 |
Us versus them! |
00:46:51 |
We're the bad guys |
00:46:53 |
And I'll be damned |
00:46:57 |
Yeah, we're actually the good guys |
00:47:02 |
Right. Let me start that again, |
00:47:05 |
Hey, guys, this is that moment... |
00:47:06 |
Fellas. Fellas. |
00:47:07 |
I just wanna say |
00:47:11 |
All right? And no matter what happens, |
00:47:13 |
...drinking beer with you guys |
00:47:17 |
Yeah. Yeah. |
00:47:18 |
Hey, let's do this |
00:47:22 |
And for Landfill. |
00:47:24 |
And Gam Gam? |
00:47:25 |
And America. On three. One, two, three: |
00:47:28 |
Grandpa Wolfhouse, Landfill |
00:47:32 |
Go, go, go! |
00:47:36 |
Line Chug. Germany versus U.S.A. |
00:47:40 |
Winner is champion... |
00:47:43 |
...of Beerfest! |
00:47:47 |
Das Boot! Das Boot! Das Boot! |
00:47:50 |
Yeah, you can suck your own dick. |
00:47:54 |
We're gonna take you all the way... |
00:47:58 |
- Cherry? |
00:48:01 |
We sent her to keep an eye on you. |
00:48:08 |
Oh, hit that, Grandpapa. |
00:48:10 |
Take what's yours, Grandpapa. |
00:48:12 |
Damn, that's nasty. |
00:48:14 |
Always bet on black. Yeah. |
00:48:17 |
Yeah, always bet on black. |
00:48:19 |
Game on. Not a drop can be spilled. |
00:48:26 |
Shake it off. |
00:49:12 |
Hey, fatass, when I dropped |
00:49:15 |
...he squealed like a stuffed pig. |
00:49:23 |
Germany! |
00:49:26 |
Did you hear what she said? |
00:49:32 |
Get out of here. Get out! |
00:49:35 |
No, no. Hey, ump. Do something, ump. |
00:49:37 |
Losers. |
00:49:41 |
See you later, stableboy. |
00:49:43 |
Say hello to the family whore. |
00:49:45 |
U.S.A. sucks! U.S.A. sucks! |
00:49:55 |
Double or nothing. |
00:49:57 |
On what, huh? |
00:49:59 |
The von Wolfhausen family recipe. |
00:50:03 |
You win, you get to keep it. |
00:50:06 |
We win, we get your brewery. |
00:50:10 |
Or should I say our brewery? |
00:50:12 |
But we already have the recipe. |
00:50:17 |
I got it off of the nerd's computer. |
00:50:20 |
- You're fucked. |
00:50:26 |
- That's rich, Baron. |
00:50:28 |
I didn't put that recipe on my computer. |
00:50:31 |
However, you are holding the recipe |
00:50:37 |
We call it She-Wolf. It's okay. |
00:50:39 |
Strawberry? |
00:50:43 |
No. No. You know how |
00:50:45 |
You want me to lose weight, |
00:50:48 |
Wait a minute, we like strawberry... |
00:50:51 |
You're trying to see my panties. |
00:50:54 |
Where are the Africans? |
00:51:02 |
So are we gonna play for the recipe... |
00:51:04 |
...or should I just roll it up |
00:51:08 |
Wait, wait. Wait. Wait! |
00:51:11 |
Put your money where your mouth is. |
00:51:13 |
Us against you. Ten boots. |
00:51:17 |
You couldn't even do one boot. |
00:51:23 |
Grandpapa? |
00:51:25 |
Take the bet, you fucking pussy. |
00:51:32 |
Okay. Crush the bastards. |
00:51:36 |
And then I want spectator number one |
00:51:39 |
Yeah, this is going to be like taking |
00:51:42 |
That's very funny, Deutschbag. |
00:51:46 |
One, we're not babies, and two... |
00:51:50 |
We're not that drunk. |
00:51:55 |
They're not that drunk. Cheeky bastards. |
00:51:58 |
They're not that drunk! |
00:52:02 |
They're not that drunk! |
00:52:05 |
They're not that drunk! |
00:52:07 |
Five boots? Are you fucking mental? |
00:52:09 |
Trust me, we can do this. |
00:52:11 |
Just spin the boot |
00:52:13 |
Trust me, this will work. |
00:52:15 |
Gentlemen. Ready? |
00:52:17 |
Good luck. You're going to need it. |
00:52:22 |
Das Boot! |
00:52:25 |
Das Boot! Das Boot! Das Boot! |
00:52:52 |
Deutschland, you're floored! |
00:52:56 |
Look, the little one looks like he has |
00:52:59 |
It's okay, it works. |
00:53:02 |
You son of a bitch! |
00:53:05 |
Yeah. |
00:53:07 |
I accidentally pushed his thingy off. |
00:53:12 |
That's a great one. Dickface. |
00:53:18 |
Fink's got the eye of the Jew. |
00:53:19 |
He's got the eye of the Jew. |
00:53:22 |
Come on. Trust me. Trust me. |
00:53:27 |
You just blew it, Friedrich. |
00:53:37 |
Spin it. |
00:53:39 |
Come on. |
00:53:47 |
Spin it. |
00:53:57 |
Spin it. |
00:54:24 |
Drink, Fink. Drink, Fink. Drink, Fink. |
00:54:27 |
Drink, Fink, drink! Drink, Fink, drink! |
00:55:06 |
U.S.A. |
00:55:28 |
U.S.A. U.S.A. U.S.A. |
00:56:08 |
A little R and R in Amsterdam. |
00:56:11 |
You know, I came to a conference |
00:56:14 |
Fantastic seminars. |
00:56:16 |
Sounds fun. |
00:56:17 |
Nothing but the best for the executives |
00:56:21 |
That's right. |
00:56:22 |
Hey, guys, where are we? |
00:56:26 |
I think the hotel is this way? |
00:56:30 |
You gotta be kidding me. |
00:56:31 |
Hold on. Let me check. |
00:56:35 |
No, I think it's that way. |
00:56:41 |
Hey. |
00:56:43 |
- Holy crap, Willie Nelson. |
00:56:46 |
It's a funny story. |
00:56:48 |
...for this big, secret, international, |
00:56:53 |
My teammates, Cheech and Chong, |
00:56:56 |
They wouldn't fly |
00:56:58 |
...and the smoke-out's in 30 minutes |
00:57:02 |
Now, you guys don't wanna |
00:57:05 |
Yeah! |
00:57:08 |
Let's do it. Did you hear one |
00:57:11 |
"If you don't quit masturbating, |
00:57:13 |
He said, "Dad, I'm over here." |
00:57:37 |
Oh, you guys fancy yourselves |
00:57:39 |
Yeah, maybe a little bit. |
00:57:42 |
Yeah, I think we just... |
00:57:45 |
What the hell is going on? Yeah. |
00:57:52 |
- Bastards. |
00:57:56 |
I was... I saw that. |
00:57:57 |
Turned out, the guys I was playing... |
00:58:01 |
I was playing Ping-Pong in Ding Dang. |
00:58:05 |
I mean, come on. Cut it. |
00:58:07 |
This sweet nectar was my lifeblood. |
00:58:10 |
Oh, yeah, Landfill. |
00:58:13 |
He's got it going on, this guy. |
00:58:14 |
Are we playing or not? |
00:58:16 |
Time to scheiße off the... |
00:58:19 |
Are we playing or not? |
00:58:20 |
Time to scheiße on our... |
00:58:22 |
Are we playing or not? |
00:58:24 |
Time to scheiße or get off the crap. |
00:58:27 |
Crapper. |
00:58:34 |
Okay, come back in, do it again. |
00:58:36 |
All right. |
00:58:38 |
Everybody's drunk. |
00:58:46 |
And cut it. Cut. |
00:58:58 |
One question. Who are we gonna get...? |
00:59:04 |
Do I know you? |
00:59:06 |
Me? No. No, I don't think so. |
00:59:08 |
Well, you look familiar. |
00:59:12 |
No, no. Wasn't me, no. |
00:59:15 |
I remember now. I paid you a dollar |
00:59:18 |
...and then touch your dick. |
00:59:21 |
Yeah, that could have been me. |
00:59:24 |
Good to see you again. |
00:59:27 |
I wish it were winter. We could make it |
00:59:31 |
...and then melt it in the springtime |
00:59:40 |
All right, cut it. |
00:59:41 |
Cut. |