Bernard And Doris

en
00:03:58 Ugh. What is this?
00:04:00 - Cantaloupe, ma'am.
00:04:03 I'm terribly sorry, ma'am.
00:04:06 And what will you
00:04:10 Hm? What will you
00:04:13 I... I... I'm not sure, ma'am.
00:04:14 Throw it out, ma'am?
00:04:16 Did you pay for it?
00:04:20 - Just get out.
00:04:23 - Don't come back.
00:04:25 You're fired.
00:04:39 - Now you're fired.
00:05:23 Hello?
00:05:25 Uh, I have a 2:00 appointment.
00:05:30 The name is Lafferty.
00:05:32 Bernard. That's it there.
00:05:37 If they don't have figs,
00:05:39 If they don't have apricots,
00:05:41 If they don't have anything
00:05:45 I'll take that sherry now,
00:05:49 There's enough dried up
00:05:51 without adding fruit
00:06:09 Get me my sherry.
00:06:11 Good evening, Miss Duke.
00:06:15 Who the hell are you?
00:06:17 I'm here about the job,
00:06:21 Here, these are my references.
00:06:26 - Get me a sherry.
00:06:30 Excuse me, ma'am,
00:07:55 - New butler.
00:07:57 - You don't leave until I tell you to.
00:08:23 Oh, you can go.
00:09:26 Ah, you. Come.
00:09:54 - Right there.
00:09:59 - Just here?
00:10:02 - Will that be all, ma'am?
00:10:04 Wait, who the hell
00:10:07 Lafferty.
00:10:10 I assume you have credentials?
00:10:12 Here.
00:10:20 "Elizabeth Taylor,
00:10:23 What, you have a thing
00:10:25 Lafferty.
00:10:27 Beg your pardon, Miss Duke,
00:10:29 with an "L."
00:10:32 It says that you haven't
00:10:35 I had a... a wee health problem.
00:10:38 Drugs or alcohol?
00:10:43 Um...
00:10:45 I assume it's under control?
00:10:47 I assure it's all in the past now.
00:10:50 Right.
00:10:51 Well, Mr. Rafferty, I really
00:10:54 on your own time, just don't let me
00:10:57 Yes, ma'am.
00:11:46 I've seen this attitude before,
00:11:49 "Oh, she'll never know that these olives
00:11:54 Let's just clean them off
00:11:57 Well, here's the news...
00:11:59 ladies and gentlemen, from now on,
00:12:02 I am the enforcer
00:12:06 And if this household
00:12:08 by the end of the week,
00:12:12 Do I make myself clear?
00:12:14 Ahem.
00:12:15 Right then, let's get
00:12:18 Thank you.
00:12:24 Uh, Nancy?
00:12:27 - Not good.
00:13:31 Come on, baby,
00:13:35 Ben, where are you?
00:13:47 Good morning, sir.
00:13:55 - Rafferty?
00:13:58 Uh, the new gardener,
00:14:01 His name is Patrick, ma'am.
00:14:04 - Is he married?
00:14:06 What's his sexual orientation?
00:14:09 I'm afraid I don't know.
00:14:11 Well, have him wash
00:14:13 You haven't forgotten the appointment
00:14:15 Pick something out
00:14:18 Of course, ma'am.
00:14:20 That would be Patrick first,
00:14:23 Yes.
00:14:59 $150,000 to the Duke
00:15:03 $300,000 to the Foundation
00:15:06 for Southeast Asian
00:15:09 Fine.
00:15:11 Right. Oh, incidentally...
00:15:13 Vice President Bush
00:15:15 at his next fundraiser.
00:15:18 Oh, that's sweet.
00:15:21 - Thanks.
00:15:23 Tom, why don't you tell us
00:15:25 I know how my portfolio
00:15:27 I'm interested
00:15:30 That seems hot, really hot.
00:15:31 So buy Intel, buy Microsoft,
00:15:35 I don't know, buy all three.
00:15:58 Come in.
00:16:01 Good morning, Miss Duke.
00:16:03 I have your breakfast. Would you
00:16:06 Oh, just put it right there.
00:16:16 Is madam going somewhere?
00:16:18 She most certainly is.
00:16:23 May I pack you a bag?
00:16:27 Yes, you may.
00:16:29 Right, ma'am.
00:16:32 Um, will it be the Vuitton?
00:16:35 Smaller.
00:16:39 How about this little one here?
00:16:41 That's fine.
00:16:44 three bed jackets,
00:16:47 my gold slippers.
00:16:50 And the Agatha Christie,
00:16:56 Might it be in the bedroom?
00:16:58 I hope so.
00:17:02 Guess I'll go...
00:17:04 Here it is.
00:17:07 Oh, it's great, you have
00:17:10 I love it.
00:17:15 A little help with this necklace.
00:17:25 It's a beautiful piece.
00:17:26 Yes, it is.
00:17:39 If I may be permitted, ma'am, I just...
00:17:41 Yes?
00:17:43 That was a lovely performance.
00:17:46 - What are you talking about?
00:17:48 Oh.
00:17:51 Simply the flatness
00:17:53 It... it was extremely flat, yes.
00:17:56 Those men can't help it
00:17:59 But you don't, do you?
00:18:01 - What's that, ma'am?
00:18:03 Well, I live in
00:18:06 so if their world is beige,
00:18:08 - that my world is beige.
00:18:11 Hm.
00:18:13 Why all of a sudden
00:18:17 Well, I...
00:18:18 I prefer the Cristoff.
00:18:21 Well, it... it won't
00:18:23 - I'm sorry.
00:18:26 Send the Aubusson back
00:18:28 - It looks dreadful here.
00:18:30 Make sure they're
00:18:35 And I want him gone
00:18:40 Right.
00:18:43 Good day, sir.
00:19:57 Mr. Lafferty?
00:20:01 Mr. Lafferty?
00:20:29 It's ours, we bought it.
00:20:31 - Yes.
00:20:35 - Would you like some?
00:20:37 I'm good, thanks.
00:20:39 It's good.
00:20:41 - Oh... great.
00:20:42 - Very good.
00:20:45 - Oh...
00:20:46 I'm sure she does.
00:20:48 Thanks.
00:22:21 - Is she okay?
00:22:28 Miss Duke?
00:22:29 Get me a damn drink,
00:22:32 Yes, ma'am.
00:22:35 Um...
00:22:37 God damn it.
00:22:39 Crooks, you know?
00:22:41 Said it was gonna be
00:22:44 It's only
00:22:46 - I wouldn't do that.
00:22:50 to me, "No, I think you should
00:22:53 - I think you should sit down.
00:22:55 Ma'am, I wouldn't do that.
00:22:57 "It's not as if money
00:23:04 Mm!
00:23:05 Money has been an issue
00:23:08 I think I should
00:23:10 She's one of those
00:23:12 The Nazi in
00:23:14 You know what I did?
00:23:16 I just hit her, pow!
00:23:18 - Give me another drink.
00:23:21 No, just,
00:23:22 Ma'am, I think you should rest.
00:23:24 Just give me
00:23:25 - For Christ's sakes.
00:23:28 Will you get off of me?
00:23:33 That wasn't very nice, was it?
00:23:38 I'm sorry.
00:23:42 Rafferty, I'm sorry.
00:23:44 I'm sorry.
00:23:47 I just, you know,
00:23:49 - I lose control, you know?
00:23:52 I know.
00:23:55 Rafferty?
00:23:59 Ma'am?
00:24:04 My face really hurts.
00:24:06 I can see that.
00:24:08 It really hurts.
00:24:10 - You should get some rest.
00:24:12 No, I don't think you should...
00:24:13 Miss Duke, I don't think
00:24:15 Ma'am.
00:24:17 I don't think you should
00:24:19 Whoops.
00:24:21 Would you please?
00:24:23 Let's get you upstairs.
00:24:25 - I have an extra one. Do you want this?
00:24:27 Oh God, I should call the clinic
00:24:29 and tell them that I'm still alive.
00:24:31 You mean you didn't tell them
00:24:33 Well, not in so many words.
00:24:34 I mean, I left rather abruptly.
00:24:36 - I think I should call them then.
00:24:39 Look, don't apologize
00:24:41 Eva Braun,
00:24:44 And I'm not going back.
00:24:46 Yes, let's get you into
00:24:49 - Oh wait a minute, shoes.
00:24:51 There we go.
00:24:57 Allow me just to...
00:25:00 - Just get the clothes out of the way.
00:25:03 It's a tragedy.
00:25:05 I'm telling you, Rafferty,
00:25:07 I've spent millions,
00:25:10 Look at these suitcases
00:25:13 Come here, look at this.
00:25:14 This is time
00:25:16 L... I can't see
00:25:20 Oh, your eyes...
00:25:24 Uh, they're...
00:25:26 Oh, wow.
00:25:30 - Oh.
00:25:33 Go to sleep, ma'am.
00:25:34 - Oh.
00:25:37 - Ma'am?
00:25:39 Uh, I'll sit here and then
00:25:42 No, come back here.
00:25:44 Get your ass over here.
00:25:49 Oh.
00:25:55 Um, ma'am, I...
00:25:57 You should have some water here.
00:25:59 Okay.
00:26:01 Just take a wee sip there.
00:26:06 That's it.
00:26:07 That's water.
00:26:09 It is, ma'am.
00:26:11 Ah.
00:26:13 - Dehydrated otherwise.
00:26:15 There.
00:26:17 Okay.
00:26:21 Mm.
00:26:22 You should get into the bed.
00:26:30 Ma'am.
00:26:31 - Oh.
00:26:33 Are you warm enough there, Miss Duke?
00:26:36 Oh yeah, I'm... yeah.
00:26:40 Still a little confusing.
00:27:03 Who's that?
00:27:35 Let me... let me just slip that out.
00:27:37 Mm.
00:27:40 See? We have a wee temperature
00:27:47 Just take these now.
00:27:50 What is that?
00:27:52 Antibiotics.
00:27:54 What I need now
00:27:57 pain pill known to man.
00:27:59 Okay, but take these first.
00:28:19 I remember leaving the clinic.
00:28:21 L... I...
00:28:23 remember being in the car.
00:28:25 But you know,
00:28:27 put together in my head.
00:28:29 And I...
00:28:33 A drink or two,
00:28:36 Oh.
00:28:40 Lafferty, did we fuck last night?
00:28:42 No, ma'am.
00:28:44 I don't know if you fitted the nurse
00:28:48 Oh, shit.
00:28:51 No no no, I called
00:28:53 I explained that you had
00:28:56 I told them that you
00:28:58 And I hope you don't mind,
00:29:02 of sending the nurse some flowers
00:29:07 For how much?
00:29:10 - $5,000.
00:29:13 All concerned agreed that the matter
00:29:21 Bet she spends it all
00:29:24 That's good.
00:29:27 Will that be all, Miss Duke?
00:29:30 Yeah.
00:29:32 Mmm. Oh, but, Lafferty,
00:29:35 your outfit...
00:29:36 - Yes, ma'am?
00:29:39 well, you look like
00:29:42 I mean, you think you
00:29:46 Of course.
00:29:48 I'll do that.
00:30:44 Miss Duke?
00:30:48 Yes, you can start on that.
00:30:50 My babies have outgrown
00:30:52 and I'm going to
00:30:54 Right you are.
00:30:58 - This one here, is it?
00:30:59 Right here.
00:31:02 and then you'll cut it in half.
00:31:04 - Take it out?
00:31:10 Here, let me help you.
00:31:14 There.
00:31:16 - Okay, now try.
00:31:17 You loosened...
00:31:19 Mm-hm.
00:31:22 - There we go.
00:31:24 - And get your knife.
00:31:28 And don't... here,
00:31:31 Just one infected bulb
00:31:34 - That's it.
00:31:36 Mm-hm.
00:31:41 Tough little creatures, huh?
00:31:44 And then any of the bulbs that don't
00:31:48 All right.
00:31:50 Then you can fill it up and you can clip
00:31:53 You can see which ones
00:31:55 L... I worked in a flower nursery
00:31:57 some time ago for a while.
00:32:01 And if I may say so,
00:32:02 you have one hell
00:32:04 Yes.
00:32:06 This is my newest baby.
00:32:08 All the way from Brazil.
00:32:10 but wait until you
00:32:13 You know, my daddy...
00:32:14 he loved orchids.
00:32:16 And when he died,
00:32:19 around his... his casket.
00:32:21 Must have been $25,000 worth.
00:32:23 I still remember
00:32:26 Gonna need you to go
00:32:29 - and get some cash.
00:32:31 I'll call them in the morning.
00:32:34 What's your name?
00:32:36 - Lafferty.
00:32:39 Bernard.
00:32:40 Mm.
00:32:44 I'm going away for a while and
00:32:47 - Ma'am?
00:32:50 Yes, ma'am.
00:32:54 Now cut it...
00:32:56 Uh... dup-up!
00:32:59 We'll take it when
00:33:02 You told me that
00:33:04 - Did I say that, really?
00:33:07 I'm so bad.
00:33:08 - You really are.
00:33:11 Ah, and you counted it?
00:33:14 Here you go.
00:33:16 - Thank you.
00:33:21 So you're getting ready
00:33:23 I am.
00:33:25 So I was thinking...
00:33:27 maybe...
00:33:28 maybe I could
00:33:30 - No no.
00:33:32 - What do you mean, no?
00:33:35 All these rooms
00:33:37 The rooms will be fine.
00:33:39 I just hate to see this whole house
00:33:41 Oh, it's so sad.
00:33:43 No. Don't take it personally.
00:33:45 - I am taking it personally.
00:33:47 - Whatever.
00:33:49 Oh, you're sulking now.
00:33:51 - Am I sulking?
00:33:53 - I'm not sulking.
00:33:54 Come on...
00:33:56 Come on, don't sulk.
00:33:57 I'm not sulking.
00:33:59 Don't be mad.
00:34:01 - I'm not sulking.
00:34:04 Make sure that these boxes
00:34:10 No, be careful with these.
00:34:16 How do you like living in
00:34:20 I like it very much.
00:34:23 Who wouldn't?
00:34:25 Let me see your palm.
00:34:27 - You're right-handed.
00:34:30 So this is what you're born with,
00:34:33 You have a...
00:34:35 with a double heart line,
00:34:38 - are unhealthy relationships.
00:34:40 Am I right?
00:34:42 I don't know, is it?
00:34:44 unhealthy relationships.
00:34:45 Uh-huh.
00:34:47 And this is
00:34:49 See, I have that also.
00:34:51 That means that very extraordinary
00:34:54 and you have to be alert
00:34:58 Oh.
00:35:00 And...
00:35:02 yeah, well, what is
00:35:04 That's never been my scene.
00:35:06 Uh, Aries, is it?
00:35:08 When's your birthday?
00:35:10 14th of April.
00:35:11 14th of April, that's Aries.
00:35:12 So you are an instigator,
00:35:16 You're... well, you hit a wall,
00:35:19 you get right
00:35:21 and then hit
00:35:23 Uh, sounds familiar.
00:35:25 And... really?
00:35:27 Uh, I like to do embroidery.
00:35:31 Uh, call Vincent and tell him
00:35:35 that I don't want him
00:35:39 until we get there.
00:35:41 Have him check the surf report.
00:35:42 You haven't lived until
00:35:46 You brought swim trunks,
00:35:48 No, ma'am,
00:35:49 Well then, put that down...
00:35:52 Ma'am, I don't think that
00:35:55 No just...
00:35:57 - Sure.
00:36:04 Memo to staff...
00:36:06 Miss Duke and I shall remain
00:36:10 I shall be supervising
00:36:12 the tennis courts
00:36:15 In our absence,
00:36:17 and carefully sorted.
00:36:19 Miss Duke's personal
00:36:25 Memo to staff...
00:36:27 we arrive at Falcon's Lair
00:36:29 and we expect to leave
00:36:32 Miss Duke and I shall be
00:36:35 for the next six months.
00:36:54 Oh, be careful,
00:36:56 Very gently get her
00:37:35 Bernard?
00:37:36 Would you like to
00:37:39 No, thanks.
00:37:41 Bernard's a little wary
00:37:44 It took me months
00:37:47 Shall we have some lunch?
00:38:03 Are you comfortable there, Swami?
00:38:06 Okay.
00:38:16 Doris was given tons of money
00:38:18 to restore all these
00:38:20 She did a great job.
00:38:22 Thanks.
00:38:24 Wait, how many houses
00:38:26 Doesn't matter.
00:38:28 It's got rain and snow and rain
00:38:31 - Incredible storms.
00:38:33 once for six months,
00:38:35 That's really good, Lafferty.
00:38:38 That is so funny.
00:38:40 Very good. Here, have a...
00:38:43 - A little hit?
00:38:44 - Should I do that?
00:38:47 One big suck.
00:38:52 Getting high with the help.
00:38:54 How democratic.
00:39:36 Get enough there?
00:39:38 Thank you very much.
00:40:04 - Thank you.
00:40:09 Uh, so,
00:40:11 what were you doing
00:40:14 You know, I really... I didn't
00:40:17 until I met Swami.
00:40:19 He was in a cave for 25 years.
00:40:23 He was praying.
00:40:25 - Praying.
00:40:28 Yes. No.
00:40:31 the bereaved, the dying,
00:40:34 He would lay his hands
00:40:36 And then
00:40:40 and floods the cave.
00:40:42 So Swami gets up and he walks
00:40:45 that's 2,000 miles or more...
00:40:47 because he wants to visit
00:40:49 Where we are amongst
00:40:53 And what happens?
00:40:55 literally, we bump into Swami.
00:40:57 Literally bump into him.
00:41:00 - Congratulations.
00:41:01 well, destiny, I suppose.
00:41:03 We're gonna start
00:41:06 Well, he didn't walk
00:41:11 Took the easy way out,
00:41:13 You know, when I was sleeping
00:41:18 and I watch all the sky's
00:41:22 then I thought I told Bernard
00:41:25 and Doris that, you see,
00:41:28 "You are sleeping
00:41:32 But I was sleeping
00:41:39 It's a blessing.
00:41:41 To Swami and Doris.
00:41:44 And all the blessings
00:41:47 when we least expect them.
00:41:49 Cheers to that.
00:41:51 Mm.
00:41:53 Swami, if I was drinking,
00:41:56 Cheers, congrats.
00:41:58 Look at this. Look.
00:42:00 Are you all right, ma'am?
00:42:01 - Oh, we've got a problem.
00:42:03 Damn slugs, look at this.
00:42:04 - Look look.
00:42:07 If there's one
00:42:09 Yeah, it looks like it, ma'am.
00:42:13 You're not gonna eat my babies.
00:42:15 Miss, you can... apples.
00:42:18 Apples?
00:42:19 Yeah, we grew spinach
00:42:21 We couldn't afford to lose them...
00:42:24 so my mother would put
00:42:26 to attract the slugs and
00:42:28 and lead them away
00:42:30 - And that worked?
00:42:36 If this works, I'm sending
00:42:39 Well, that's very generous
00:42:41 but she passed away
00:42:45 Lafferty, I know absolutely
00:42:49 Maybe that's just as well, ma'am.
00:42:51 Do you think you should
00:42:53 - You have a long trip ahead of you.
00:42:55 I can take care of this
00:42:57 No.
00:43:01 I had a... a child
00:43:05 She only lived for 24 hours.
00:43:08 What do you think
00:43:11 I'm terribly sorry
00:43:13 I mean, supposedly
00:43:15 You know, part of the Book of Life
00:43:18 You know?
00:43:20 What do you think
00:43:22 I...
00:43:24 I... it's whatever
00:43:27 I mean, I'd hardly
00:43:29 So the snail and the orchids
00:43:34 You smell divine, by the way.
00:43:38 - It is.
00:43:40 You did. You gave it to me
00:43:42 I wouldn't be caught
00:43:43 Well, that's part of
00:43:46 What about the apple?
00:43:48 - Do you think this apple here has...
00:43:50 ...a part in the great...
00:43:52 Yeah. I mean,
00:43:54 but there is a plan.
00:43:56 Unfortunately, it just may
00:44:00 for us to really understand why
00:44:03 Sure.
00:44:08 L... I knew this Irish lad
00:44:11 in Philadelphia.
00:44:12 His name was Freezer.
00:44:14 And he had everything
00:44:16 he was handsome,
00:44:19 We were up for the same
00:44:23 the Bellevue in Stratford.
00:44:24 I knew he would get the job.
00:44:27 Freezer when he
00:44:29 Anyways, on the day
00:44:32 he steps off the curb
00:44:34 And I get the job.
00:44:36 And that's how I get to
00:44:38 She introduces me
00:44:40 - Then it's...
00:44:42 ...to you.
00:44:44 'Cause you read it
00:44:46 Oh, so that's...
00:44:48 That was your journey, exactly.
00:44:51 - The Mandala, exactly.
00:44:53 Oh Jesus, smell this.
00:44:57 Mm. Incredible, huh?
00:45:00 Very few of these guys actually
00:45:04 - Yeah, they're beautiful.
00:45:06 Miss Duke, do you think
00:45:08 the Persian outfits
00:45:11 for your trip?
00:45:12 I don't know.
00:45:14 I don't know. I've never performed
00:45:17 It's not belly dancing,
00:45:22 Oh, that's Chinese, is it?
00:45:23 No, look, it's the Earth
00:45:27 and then out.
00:45:29 See? It's as if your entire being
00:45:32 is concentrated,
00:45:35 - Right.
00:45:37 - Sure.
00:45:38 It's like...
00:45:41 Like that.
00:45:43 - Yeah.
00:45:46 - Go ahead, try it. Try it.
00:45:48 I think it's more of...
00:45:50 No no, it's the most fun you could ever
00:45:53 - Go ahead.
00:45:54 - Come on.
00:45:56 - See, like this?
00:45:57 Some men actually find it
00:45:59 I'm sure they do.
00:46:00 I mean, I... I swing
00:46:04 if you catch my drift.
00:46:07 Cat...?
00:46:10 I caught it.
00:46:12 I have it.
00:46:13 All right, well it's just that I...
00:46:15 I think it...
00:46:19 How did I look just now?
00:46:21 I mean, did I look ridiculous?
00:46:23 - What do you mean?
00:46:25 - Did I look clumsy? Did I look awful?
00:46:26 I'll tell you what,
00:46:32 Happy?
00:46:34 Yeah, just...
00:46:50 - Break a leg, Miss Duke.
00:47:16 Miss Duke would like two men
00:47:19 That's one inside the house
00:47:22 Also four dogs.
00:47:24 Nobody's to get in through
00:47:27 except the gardeners
00:47:29 They have been issued
00:47:32 And if you set off
00:47:35 with one of those,
00:47:38 of art and antiques.
00:47:40 Thanks, gentlemen.
00:48:19 Oh, I... I thought
00:48:21 I've been having
00:48:24 You know what it's like.
00:48:26 - I'll take that out for you.
00:48:28 - It's no big deal.
00:48:31 Thanks.
00:48:34 Lafferty, change of plans.
00:48:37 Book the Connaught.
00:48:40 Send over my Russian fox
00:48:43 I rejoin the tour
00:48:45 and I'm running
00:48:47 So make sure
00:48:50 Tell the painters I want them
00:48:53 or I'm invoking
00:48:56 In no way am I kidding.
00:48:59 Oh, PS... have my new
00:49:02 and listed in the policy.
00:49:04 I prefer that nice Kathy,
00:49:07 so be it.
00:49:14 - Welcome back, Miss Duke.
00:49:16 I am so glad to be back.
00:49:33 Are you growing your hair?
00:49:35 A bit, I am. Yeah.
00:49:37 Come here.
00:49:41 Here.
00:49:43 - Look.
00:49:45 Look.
00:49:46 What do you think?
00:49:48 I think it looks a bit puny.
00:49:50 Well, you've got to give it time.
00:49:53 - I like it.
00:49:54 Mm-hm.
00:49:56 I hope that your tour
00:49:59 Oh, the arts in America,
00:50:02 You know, sometimes there
00:50:05 than there were in the audience.
00:50:07 I'm sorry to hear that, ma'am.
00:50:08 It wasn't a total disaster,
00:50:10 - I made a little friend.
00:50:12 Mm-hm.
00:50:14 Oh, amazing dancer.
00:50:17 And actually, so did he. But you know,
00:50:20 to all the possibilities.
00:50:22 Indeed, it's true.
00:50:26 You know, you should
00:50:29 to kind of lift your face.
00:50:31 - Look at this, for instance.
00:50:33 Put this shirt...
00:50:35 - That shirt says...
00:50:36 ..."look at me. "
00:50:38 You know, your shirt
00:50:41 See what I mean?
00:50:42 Actually, Miss Duke, there is
00:50:46 - It's that scarf there.
00:50:48 - I think that's the most beautiful...
00:50:50 Uh-huh, that brings out
00:50:54 - It does?
00:50:55 What about my eyes?
00:50:57 - What about them?
00:50:59 - You look great.
00:51:00 May... um, maybe it's
00:51:02 - Really?
00:51:04 - May I?
00:51:06 Just smudge it out a bit.
00:51:09 There, like that.
00:51:11 - Mm.
00:51:13 Maybe you should
00:51:16 - No, I shouldn't.
00:51:17 - I don't think I should.
00:51:23 What do you think of this?
00:51:25 I think it's gorgeous.
00:51:26 Okay, why don't you press it?
00:51:29 Um, Miss Duke?
00:51:34 I wondered if I could have next
00:51:37 Why?
00:51:39 Just personal reasons.
00:51:42 You know that Maltese cross
00:51:46 Yeah, it's in the safe.
00:51:48 How do think that would go?
00:51:50 With this?
00:51:52 Well, when you say personal,
00:51:55 I mean, do you have to go to a funeral
00:51:58 It's just,
00:52:01 Really?
00:52:03 Where did you meet?
00:52:05 - I haven't met him yet.
00:52:07 Yeah, well, through the personals.
00:52:09 - "Irish Echo. "
00:52:12 How uncharacteristically
00:52:16 Are you a stone or a sponge?
00:52:18 - Oh, never mind.
00:52:20 Well no, don't answer.
00:52:22 Permission granted.
00:52:24 Miss Duke, thanks very much.
00:52:26 I'll have this pressed at once.
00:52:29 Oh oh oh oh oh... scarf.
00:52:32 Oh, excuse me.
00:53:47 - Bravo.
00:53:50 - Oh my God.
00:53:52 Peggy Lee couldn't
00:53:54 She could and she did
00:53:56 'Cause Bernard used to
00:53:58 - Is that right?
00:54:00 and I booked her rooms,
00:54:02 and I opened the doors,
00:54:04 - Want some more champagne?
00:54:06 Thank you.
00:54:07 Now I heard that song
00:54:09 in Las Vegas
00:54:11 That's a real
00:54:13 Mm, mm.
00:54:14 What was the one that
00:54:17 - I don't know, what song is that?
00:54:19 Where the guy is treating her horribly
00:54:22 That sounds like
00:54:23 - No, it's my life.
00:54:25 - It is not your life.
00:54:27 I think it's all of our lives.
00:54:30 Well, go ahead, sing it.
00:54:31 - Now?
00:54:33 We only have now.
00:54:36 Uh, wait a minute...
00:54:47 That's it.
00:54:51 You have to imagine a wee black dress
00:55:01 What's the key?
00:56:55 Get the fuck out of here!
00:56:57 What's the big deal?
00:57:00 Yeah, but you don't fuck
00:57:03 All right, I'm sorry.
00:57:04 - Get the fuck out!
00:57:07 - Let's just talk about this.
00:57:08 - It won't happen again.
00:57:11 Back-stabbing son of a bitch!
00:57:13 Bye.
00:57:27 Nothing makes me happier
00:57:31 Not even sex.
00:57:34 The one I'm really
00:57:36 Nobody could clean
00:57:41 You know the...
00:57:45 is crazy for guys
00:57:49 Well, that's me with piano players.
00:57:52 Mechanics.
00:57:54 - Really?
00:57:57 under the hood, intent on
00:58:02 Mm.
00:58:04 How many mechanics
00:58:07 None.
00:58:09 - Oh, Lafferty.
00:58:12 They might beat me
00:58:13 No, see, that would make them
00:58:18 How was your date?
00:58:20 You don't have to pretend
00:58:22 No, I really am interested.
00:58:24 Was he a mechanic?
00:58:26 No, he wasn't.
00:58:29 Pressed shirt
00:58:32 Oh, I'm sorry.
00:58:35 Was he cute at least?
00:58:37 I wouldn't say cute exactly.
00:58:39 More... more like promising.
00:58:42 What happened? Here.
00:58:43 Well, we talked
00:58:46 and we had a few drinks.
00:58:48 And I talked some more
00:58:50 and then, you know, "Here's me
00:58:54 We have absolutely
00:58:57 So you struck out.
00:58:59 I did, yeah. It was something
00:59:02 Oh.
00:59:05 On my honeymoon...
00:59:11 the first honeymoon...
00:59:13 - That would be with...
00:59:16 - Rubirosa?
00:59:19 Oh God, that guy
00:59:21 He's still one of
00:59:24 I just couldn't wait
00:59:27 Jimmy came toward me,
00:59:30 He was naked,
00:59:32 and scooped me up
00:59:35 "Doris, I've been wondering,
00:59:38 how much is
00:59:41 - He didn't say that.
00:59:43 Oh my God.
00:59:45 What did you say?
00:59:49 You know, I bet a lot
00:59:51 - You have a great face.
00:59:53 No, really, it's so sensitive.
00:59:55 Oh, it's...
01:00:01 What?
01:00:05 Miss Duke...
01:00:11 What do you want from me?
01:00:13 From me.
01:00:14 - Miss Duke?
01:00:16 I mean, you don't
01:00:18 - No, I don't want anything.
01:00:20 - Do you steal from me?
01:00:22 Well then, what do
01:00:26 I want to take care of you.
01:00:30 I just want to take care of you.
01:01:02 Come on, Lafferty.
01:01:05 - Come on.
01:01:07 It's... it's a wee road here.
01:01:09 Oh for God's sake,
01:01:11 - Pull over, stop stop stop stop.
01:01:13 I'll show you.
01:01:25 - You all right there, ma'am?
01:01:29 - Got the seat belt?
01:01:38 Okay.
01:01:44 Just slow down a bit.
01:02:12 Hi.
01:02:14 You hit 80 back there.
01:02:16 Oh yeah, mm-hm.
01:02:18 And also, before you ask me,
01:02:21 Okay, I'm gonna have to
01:02:24 Oh, it's too cold, really. I can't.
01:02:30 Okay.
01:02:34 Who's your friend?
01:02:35 Oh, that's the Sultan of Brunei.
01:02:39 - Welcome to New Jersey.
01:02:42 Okay, I'm gonna have
01:02:44 I don't think so.
01:02:48 - Sorry.
01:02:51 No, I don't think so.
01:02:53 or your radio or something
01:02:56 because he and I are
01:02:58 Then he'll be glad to see you
01:03:00 - What?
01:03:01 No. Whoa!
01:03:04 Uh, ma'am, I'm coming!
01:03:06 Wait a minute. Sultan?
01:03:11 Lucky thing,
01:03:13 Oh, I know a lot of people.
01:03:17 He seemed
01:03:20 Ah, well, yes.
01:03:22 We had a little moment
01:03:25 in the coatroom
01:03:27 about 20 years ago.
01:03:36 I don't find that funny.
01:03:40 You would if you'd been there.
01:03:55 Do you know how many
01:03:59 How do you think they'll feel
01:04:06 Ironic.
01:04:08 You have a moral obligation
01:04:13 Lighten up a little bit.
01:04:15 You know, Lafferty and I, we're just
01:04:19 Right, Lafferty?
01:04:22 Yes, ma'am.
01:04:24 Just the coffee, please,
01:04:30 Oh, all right.
01:04:32 Thank you, Lafferty.
01:04:35 Ma'am.
01:04:46 In all the years
01:04:48 you've never paid
01:04:50 - But this guy...
01:04:52 He's great with my orchids.
01:04:55 - He's a bad influence, Doris.
01:05:00 Ahem.
01:05:02 Doris, I've seen you
01:05:05 in 10 seconds flat.
01:05:09 Why can't you see that
01:05:29 How much does she pay you?
01:05:32 - Excuse me?
01:05:34 What does she pay you?
01:05:37 I think you know my salary, sir.
01:05:39 You have access to the records.
01:05:42 I'm writing you a check
01:05:45 for $200,000.
01:05:50 - $200,000?
01:05:53 That's right.
01:05:55 On condition you go away
01:05:57 and stay away.
01:06:01 L... I don't understand.
01:06:03 Miss Duke hired you
01:06:05 not her drinking buddy.
01:06:09 Did... did she ask you
01:06:15 Okay, I... Miss Duke would not
01:06:18 if I walked out on her.
01:06:20 Loyalty is very important to her.
01:06:27 I agree, loyalty is
01:06:31 Let's make it $500,000.
01:06:38 Do... do you think that's enough?
01:06:56 Give you
01:06:59 I am not that easy.
01:07:02 Good evening, sir.
01:07:09 Dear Lafferty, I get to
01:07:12 so make sure
01:07:14 I'm not having workmen
01:07:19 I thought I'd be back Sunday
01:07:20 but I got invited
01:07:22 It is too good to pass up.
01:07:24 So I'll be stopping in Hong Kong
01:07:28 May 10th through the 24th.
01:07:30 Book the Peninsula,
01:07:32 Make sure I get my rate.
01:07:35 And I'll probably end up in Hawaii
01:07:38 but I'm staying in
01:07:40 And the screening room
01:07:43 Go there and oversee
01:07:46 Use Frequent Flier miles
01:07:53 All right, Lafferty,
01:07:56 to see the migration
01:08:00 And please please please
01:08:03 I don't want them moldering
01:08:06 a moment longer.
01:08:08 see if you can get the stains
01:08:11 I don't know how they got there,
01:08:15 Sincerely, Doris Duke.
01:08:43 Welcome home, Miss Duke.
01:08:44 Thank you, Lafferty.
01:08:47 Oh my goodness, look at you.
01:08:50 - It's gotten so long.
01:08:52 No, I like it.
01:08:55 - It is?
01:08:56 - Morocco was great?
01:08:58 Absolutely.
01:09:00 I brought you back
01:09:02 A little gift?
01:09:04 Are you chewing gum?
01:09:06 Oh.
01:09:07 Excuse me, ma'am,
01:09:09 I don't think
01:09:11 Look, your present... voilá.
01:09:15 For you. Hm?
01:09:17 - What?
01:09:19 - Here.
01:09:20 That's for you.
01:09:21 - No no, it isn't.
01:09:23 - Come on, don't be silly.
01:09:24 - Put your arm in.
01:09:27 - Yes it is.
01:09:28 An antique caftan.
01:09:30 That's... oh, it's a perfect fit.
01:09:32 Look at that. How brilliant am I?
01:09:35 Perfect fit.
01:09:37 Oh thank you,
01:09:40 Look, it's hand-embroidered,
01:09:41 It certainly is.
01:09:43 I can't believe it.
01:09:45 It's the most beautiful
01:09:47 - Uh-huh.
01:09:49 - Gorgeous.
01:09:51 I feel like... I feel like
01:09:53 Ha ha! You know what?
01:09:56 I just remembered.
01:09:59 I will of course, Miss Duke.
01:10:01 - You're so welcome.
01:10:02 I can't believe it.
01:10:04 Well.
01:10:06 I mean, how could this happen?
01:10:08 Look at this... crown rot.
01:10:11 We might as well just pitch these.
01:10:14 And look at this.
01:10:16 I mean, how did this happen?
01:10:18 - How did that happen?
01:10:20 - I told the gardener...
01:10:22 Not the gardener. Now you're gonna have
01:10:26 I can fix it.
01:10:27 Okay, right here.
01:10:29 - I know where it is, ma'am.
01:10:42 - Not enough bark.
01:10:44 Well then, do it then.
01:10:47 Please, Miss Duke,
01:10:49 All right, and it's 2º too hot in here.
01:10:52 So turn that down,
01:10:55 repot everything.
01:10:57 And don't forget
01:11:00 Yes, ma'am.
01:12:29 Keep your breath going.
01:12:37 Okay, keep your
01:12:43 What?
01:12:44 - Miss Duke?
01:12:48 Waldo Taft.
01:12:50 What about him?
01:12:52 He's coming
01:12:53 - Oh yeah.
01:12:56 Oh God, what about that...
01:13:00 is that salmon
01:13:03 Well, I'm not allowed
01:13:06 so it's still there.
01:13:07 Mm, then tell the chef
01:13:11 Ah!
01:13:13 That salmon's been here
01:13:16 It'll be fine.
01:13:19 That salmon's leftover from
01:13:23 That's how old it is.
01:13:25 It'll be fine.
01:13:32 Try to open up
01:13:34 I'll tell the chef to poach it.
01:13:42 This Marine Conservation Project
01:13:46 but I don't see the annual
01:13:49 It's late.
01:13:51 Well, no report, no money.
01:13:59 - What's this now?
01:14:01 They've asked for
01:14:04 It's not unreasonable.
01:14:06 All right, done then.
01:14:09 What else do we have here?
01:14:10 Some salmon, Mr. Taft?
01:14:22 It's, um...
01:14:24 Bon appetit.
01:14:29 The minister
01:14:31 in, I think it's
01:14:34 Reverend Washington?
01:14:37 What does...
01:14:38 Well, apparently there was
01:14:40 They've raised $1 million
01:14:43 Give him whatever he wants
01:14:46 What else?
01:14:51 What else do we have?
01:14:54 You're not hungry, Mr. Taft?
01:14:57 Um...
01:14:59 no.
01:15:01 How about a nice glass
01:15:03 No, thank you.
01:15:06 Lafferty, why don't you
01:15:10 coffee?
01:15:12 All right. Sure.
01:15:15 - Peu Chimay, ma'am?
01:15:18 What's this now?
01:15:21 - The literacy program.
01:15:24 - How are they doing?
01:15:27 You know, I'm confused
01:15:31 that made it seem
01:15:35 Oh.
01:15:37 You know,
01:15:39 I could hardly
01:15:40 And then I took one
01:15:43 and now look at me.
01:16:25 Fuck.
01:16:43 No one wanted to tell you.
01:16:45 We know how fond
01:16:47 Petrus '89, '90, '91... all gone.
01:16:51 Christ.
01:16:52 Chateau Margaux '86,
01:16:55 only the Premier Grand Cru.
01:16:57 Well, he has excellent taste,
01:17:01 All the sherry...
01:17:04 Jesus.
01:17:06 You want me to
01:17:15 Pack your bags.
01:17:19 Dear Miss Duke,
01:17:22 as always, I found it difficult
01:17:26 But I have managed
01:17:29 and I think it's time
01:17:35 Dear Lafferty,
01:17:37 I don't believe people
01:17:39 because they suffer
01:17:41 That is why I haven't fired you,
01:17:46 But I'm not yet ready to have you back
01:17:50 You will stay in rehab until
01:18:00 Doris.
01:18:02 Doris, you okay?
01:18:06 Doris, you okay?
01:18:08 Doris?
01:18:11 Doris?
01:18:21 Dr. Armenza, please report
01:18:24 Dr. Armenza,
01:18:30 She's had a...
01:18:32 but I think she will get over that.
01:18:34 It will take time. She's gonna need
01:18:37 But I am concerned about
01:18:40 which has always been
01:18:42 in terms of her heart disease.
01:18:45 and also the liver issues.
01:18:49 She'll need round-the-clock
01:19:59 Here we go.
01:20:03 That's it.
01:20:36 What I did was unforgivable.
01:20:44 I'm so ashamed of myself.
01:20:47 You've taken me into your life,
01:20:49 you've been extremely
01:20:51 I know I've let you down.
01:20:54 I can only say I'm deeply sorry.
01:20:59 I hope you can forgive me.
01:21:02 That's a good speech.
01:21:10 I wonder if you could help...
01:21:13 I'd very much like to keep my job.
01:21:18 Please.
01:21:46 Mr. Taft is calling
01:21:51 Okay.
01:21:56 Excuse me, Nancy.
01:21:59 - Mr. Taft.
01:22:01 I'm at the front gate, let me in.
01:22:03 I'm sorry, sir, Miss Duke's
01:22:06 I want to talk to her.
01:22:07 She's not taking calls either, sir.
01:22:09 - Put her on.
01:22:10 I'm only following
01:22:12 - I know what you're up to...
01:22:14 Miss Duke appreciates your concern,
01:22:17 - is to avoid all stress.
01:22:19 And if you're truly her friend, you'll
01:22:22 - Lafferty, for crying out loud.
01:22:24 - Thank you, sir, goodbye.
01:22:45 What are the police doing here?
01:22:47 We're just trying to
01:22:51 I'm old, I have a bad heart,
01:22:53 my lungs are for shit,
01:22:56 Did Mr. Lafferty try to control
01:22:59 Well yes, he certainly has.
01:23:01 He's... no visitors,
01:23:05 If devotion beyond the call
01:23:10 he'd be a candidate
01:23:13 That's what you call it?
01:23:17 Sorry to disappoint you, big guy.
01:23:19 Thank you, Miss Duke.
01:23:29 I'm sorry, Doris.
01:23:31 For all I knew, you might have been
01:23:35 That's Blanche.
01:23:38 It worries me,
01:23:40 Let me get you proper care...
01:23:48 - I'll think about it.
01:23:51 - like mother hens.
01:23:53 They'll be patronizing you,
01:23:55 Blah blah
01:23:56 "It's time for
01:23:57 - Have we taken our medicine today?"
01:23:59 - They'll drive you nuts.
01:24:01 - I'm still being punished, is that it?
01:24:04 I've tried to think of everything
01:24:06 I've ceased to exist
01:24:08 I've renounced my own life in order
01:24:10 - And now you discover it's not enough?
01:24:13 - in the morning.
01:24:15 - Oh, don't make idle threats.
01:24:17 Well then, stop it!
01:24:22 For God's sake.
01:24:23 Would you bring in the nurses
01:24:25 - I won't be put on the spot.
01:24:28 It's a simple question, ma'am.
01:24:32 I don't want you to go
01:24:36 So you would do
01:24:38 I want you to stay.
01:24:42 In my current capacity?
01:24:44 Oh for God's sake, Lafferty.
01:24:47 I choose you above all others.
01:24:53 Mm.
01:24:56 Is that what you want?
01:24:58 And you are not to prevent
01:25:01 - Agreed?
01:25:07 We can still bring the nurses in
01:25:10 Oh no. You wanted me,
01:25:34 My daddy had pneumonia
01:25:36 and my mother sent away
01:25:40 so she wouldn't have
01:25:42 And then she stripped him naked
01:25:44 and opened up the windows,
01:25:46 because that's the way they do it
01:25:50 Of course,
01:25:54 The coldest October in history.
01:25:58 I was only allowed
01:26:01 every day after school.
01:26:04 You could see your breath
01:26:10 The man froze to death
01:26:14 She thought that
01:26:18 but my daddy knew what
01:26:21 and he left it all to me.
01:26:33 My father died
01:26:44 My... my mother died
01:26:48 Oh.
01:26:49 I was coming home
01:26:51 and there was an ambulance there
01:26:55 A crowd was rubbernecking.
01:26:59 She was sitting up against a car.
01:27:02 It might have been the same one
01:27:05 I thought she was all right
01:27:06 because there was no blood
01:27:11 It looked like she was just
01:27:13 in the middle of the road.
01:27:15 Her shopping was scattered
01:27:22 porridge oats
01:27:28 The only family I had
01:27:30 in Philadelphia.
01:27:36 Fate.
01:27:47 Here, let me give you
01:27:50 You just missed it...
01:27:53 a bit here.
01:27:58 There, take a look.
01:28:05 I need more eyes.
01:28:08 Sure.
01:28:26 That's okay.
01:28:29 You know, when you do it,
01:28:33 to the tip. Try it on you.
01:28:40 - From the base to the tip?
01:28:44 - Okay, like that?
01:28:47 Yeah.
01:29:07 Good evening, Nancy.
01:29:28 - Will that be all, Miss Du...
01:29:30 Just sit down.
01:29:50 Happy birthday, Miss Duke.
01:30:06 I'm afraid this is not one of your more
01:30:09 Oh, I've had much worse.
01:30:12 Perhaps you'll be up
01:30:17 Lafferty, there are
01:30:19 I want you to do for me
01:30:22 Do we have to talk
01:30:23 - My bed socks, for instance.
01:30:26 Yes, I sometimes wear
01:30:29 I've done so since
01:30:31 and if I should be
01:30:34 when I fall off the twig,
01:30:36 I would like you to please
01:30:39 remove them from my feet
01:30:42 before the coroner gets there.
01:30:44 I don't want to look
01:30:47 Yes, sure.
01:30:48 No fancy speeches.
01:30:51 No press.
01:30:52 And I would like you to...
01:30:55 dress me in something casual.
01:30:58 Life is a journey, after all,
01:31:00 and I refuse to go into that box
01:31:03 or something equally stupid.
01:31:06 Yes, sure.
01:31:09 Make it a natural fiber,
01:31:12 Silk might be a good idea.
01:31:15 I want to demonstrate
01:31:20 - Of course.
01:31:22 or a bird or a bug, or...
01:31:28 who knows?
01:31:32 Will you do that for me, Lafferty?
01:31:36 Yes.
01:31:40 Promise?
01:31:42 I promise.
01:31:48 I must have lost my mind
01:32:10 Am I dead yet?
01:32:15 Not yet.
01:32:17 - Just keep her hydrated.
01:32:20 Sure you don't want me
01:32:22 No, I don't think so.
01:32:24 Call me if you need anything.
01:33:58 Here we go.
01:34:07 That's it.
01:34:17 I'm just going to adjust your pillow.
01:34:21 All right?
01:34:38 That's it.
01:34:40 That's it. Here we go.
01:34:50 There you go.
01:35:06 Good night.
01:35:08 Sleep tight.
01:35:21 I, Doris Duke,
01:35:23 a resident of and domiciled
01:35:26 do hereby make, publish
01:35:29 to be my last will and testament,
01:35:31 hereby revoking all wills
01:35:36 heretofore made by me.
01:35:43 I direct there be no funeral service
01:35:47 of any kind for me.
01:35:52 It is my wish that my ashes
01:36:02 I give and bequeath all of
01:36:05 to the following:
01:36:07 My real property known as Somerset
01:36:12 to the Doris Duke
01:36:14 my real property known
01:36:18 to the Newport
01:36:21 my real property known as Shangri-La
01:36:26 to the Doris Duke Foundation
01:36:30 my real property known as Falcon's
01:36:34 to the Doris Duke
01:36:37 I direct that my executors
01:36:40 with Imelda Marcos for
01:36:44 plus accrued interest
01:36:47 I give and bequeath
01:36:50 $10 million
01:36:52 $10 million to the Metropolitan
01:36:57 and appoint Bernard Lafferty
01:37:00 as my individual executor hereunder,
01:37:02 with the sum of $5 million
01:37:04 for the performance
01:37:07 I appoint Bernard Lafferty
01:37:11 created hereunder.
01:37:13 Bernard Lafferty shall appoint
01:37:16 such bank or trust company that he,
01:37:19 in his absolute discretion,
01:37:20 shall deem appropriate.
01:37:22 I appoint Bernard Lafferty
01:37:25 along with three additional persons
01:37:29 Your breakfast, Mr. Lafferty.
01:37:31 Thank you, Nancy.
01:37:33 On the table, please.
01:37:36 I have hereunto set my hand
01:37:39 to this, my last will and testament,
01:37:42 on this fifth day of April, 1993.
01:37:45 Doris Duke.
01:38:01 Good afternoon, gentlemen.
01:38:03 Good afternoon.
01:38:08 Let's get on with it,
01:38:10 Well, you have the agenda
01:38:12 beginning with item number one...