|
Big Gay Musical The
|
| 00:00:15 |
Do I look fat? |
| 00:00:22 |
I'm serious. |
| 00:00:23 |
Do l? |
| 00:00:26 |
Yes. |
| 00:00:30 |
As big as a house. |
| 00:00:33 |
I cannot believe you just said that. |
| 00:00:36 |
And here I am, carrying your baby. |
| 00:00:40 |
How do I know it's my baby? |
| 00:00:43 |
Do you know what your problem is? |
| 00:00:46 |
You've got a chip on your shoulder. |
| 00:00:50 |
Yes. |
| 00:00:51 |
Just can't. |
| 00:00:52 |
And it's as big as a boulder. |
| 00:00:54 |
I can't take it. |
| 00:00:57 |
Excuse me, excuse me. |
| 00:01:00 |
Excuse me. |
| 00:01:02 |
Sir, are you okay? |
| 00:01:05 |
Yes. |
| 00:01:09 |
A BlG |
| 00:01:10 |
GAY |
| 00:01:11 |
MUSlCAL! |
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I love being OFF Broadway! |
| 00:01:56 |
Ladies and gentleman, |
| 00:01:57 |
welcome to the first preview |
| 00:02:00 |
Just the Way God Made 'Em." |
| 00:02:02 |
Before the show begins, |
| 00:02:04 |
we need to let you know that |
| 00:02:07 |
by the Coalition of Christians. |
| 00:02:09 |
But that doesn't mean it's |
| 00:02:12 |
It just means, that if |
| 00:02:14 |
you'll end up burning in |
| 00:02:17 |
[Applause] |
| 00:02:24 |
Hi! |
| 00:02:26 |
And I'm his husband, Steven. |
| 00:02:28 |
And this is our story. |
| 00:02:30 |
In the beginning, |
| 00:02:32 |
God created the Heavens and the Earth. |
| 00:02:34 |
Wait a minute! |
| 00:02:35 |
That's not how it's supposed to begin. |
| 00:02:37 |
Sorry. |
| 00:02:44 |
In the beginning, |
| 00:02:46 |
God was... bored. |
| 00:02:48 |
He was all alone in the universe, |
| 00:02:50 |
and the thought of |
| 00:02:52 |
He realized what he needed were |
| 00:02:56 |
So, God created the angels. |
| 00:03:03 |
And they were hot. |
| 00:03:06 |
Each angel was hot... |
| 00:03:09 |
and male. |
| 00:04:02 |
God loved the angels, but soon |
| 00:04:05 |
So, God created the Earth. |
| 00:04:08 |
? He made the Earth full |
| 00:04:19 |
? He made the skyfull |
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? He made the oceans |
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? And He knew ? |
| 00:04:42 |
? it was good. ? |
| 00:04:46 |
? One day God came down to Earth |
| 00:04:51 |
? He took one look at |
| 00:04:56 |
Why the fuck is it |
| 00:04:59 |
Oh, that's better. |
| 00:05:01 |
Aren 't they great? |
| 00:05:03 |
Let's show 'em angels! |
| 00:05:06 |
? It's God. |
| 00:05:10 |
? It's God. |
| 00:05:13 |
? It's God. |
| 00:05:16 |
? It's God. |
| 00:05:19 |
[Gasp] |
| 00:05:20 |
What? |
| 00:05:24 |
? I am God. ? |
| 00:05:29 |
? I created the plants |
| 00:05:32 |
? I made all the animals - |
| 00:05:36 |
? I made everything that you see, ? |
| 00:05:39 |
? but none of it satisfied me. ? |
| 00:05:42 |
? I needed interaction and drama. ? |
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? I needed something |
| 00:05:50 |
? I loved all the stuff |
| 00:05:53 |
? but it's like a nature show on TV.. ? |
| 00:05:58 |
So God created a man. |
| 00:06:04 |
Adam was just what God wanted. |
| 00:06:07 |
A man to do the gardening, |
| 00:06:09 |
take care of the animals. |
| 00:06:10 |
But, Adam was lonely. |
| 00:06:14 |
And, God wasn't very fond of what |
| 00:06:18 |
[Baa...] |
| 00:06:19 |
So God created Eve, a woman for Adam. |
| 00:06:31 |
And they were happy. |
| 00:06:34 |
For a while. |
| 00:06:35 |
You couldn't even make |
| 00:06:37 |
Don't you start with me! |
| 00:06:39 |
But the shit hit the fan when |
| 00:06:43 |
Here! |
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Jesus Christ! |
| 00:06:53 |
Yes daddy? |
| 00:06:54 |
Nothing. |
| 00:06:58 |
It wasn't my fault. I swear. |
| 00:07:00 |
It was a serpent. |
| 00:07:02 |
Yeah, a serpent. |
| 00:07:06 |
? And so I threw them both |
| 00:07:10 |
? What else was there for me to do? ? |
| 00:07:13 |
? But then the garden |
| 00:07:16 |
? and I was depressed |
| 00:07:20 |
Hey God. |
| 00:07:24 |
What the hell! |
| 00:07:29 |
? I made another Adam for my garden, ? |
| 00:07:33 |
? but I didn't make another Eve. ? |
| 00:07:36 |
? I made another man |
| 00:07:39 |
? and I called him Steve! ? |
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? And that is how it all began, ? |
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? the story of Adam and Steve. ? |
| 00:07:58 |
? Though it's not written |
| 00:08:03 |
? it's the truth from |
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? And now here's Adam and Steve. ? |
| 00:08:15 |
? God bless Adam and Steve. ? |
| 00:08:21 |
Just the way I made 'em! |
| 00:08:25 |
Really good show guys. |
| 00:08:26 |
Yeah, for a first preview, it |
| 00:08:28 |
Where are you rushing off to? |
| 00:08:29 |
I don't do stage doors. |
| 00:08:30 |
What do you mean? |
| 00:08:31 |
There's nothing I hate more than |
| 00:08:34 |
They feel like they have to |
| 00:08:36 |
It's fake and awkward |
| 00:08:39 |
Oh look, Patti LuPone. |
| 00:08:42 |
Do you always beat |
| 00:08:44 |
So far so good. |
| 00:08:45 |
What about your fans? |
| 00:08:47 |
My "fans"? |
| 00:08:48 |
Oh, I'm working at |
| 00:08:51 |
so if you wanna stop by, let me know. |
| 00:08:52 |
I cant wait to hear some fat |
| 00:08:55 |
Or some flamer singing "And |
| 00:09:01 |
Show tunes and booze kids. |
| 00:09:04 |
I'll see you guys later. |
| 00:09:05 |
Yeah later. |
| 00:09:11 |
Oh, I'm sorry! |
| 00:09:12 |
No problem. |
| 00:09:15 |
Hey babe. |
| 00:09:18 |
See you soon. |
| 00:09:22 |
We are so proud ofyou. |
| 00:09:23 |
You're gonna be such a |
| 00:09:26 |
It's just Off-Broadway. |
| 00:09:28 |
Just Off-Broadway? |
| 00:09:30 |
People would sell their souls |
| 00:09:31 |
to be starring in an Off-Broadway |
| 00:09:34 |
We just wanted to call and tell |
| 00:09:37 |
And congratulations. |
| 00:09:39 |
Thank you. |
| 00:09:40 |
We have a surprise foryou. |
| 00:09:42 |
We're coming to your |
| 00:09:46 |
Hey, we weren't going to |
| 00:09:48 |
Hey, we've been to all the others. |
| 00:09:50 |
How could we miss your first |
| 00:09:52 |
The first of many. |
| 00:09:53 |
Oh, great! |
| 00:09:55 |
Hey, we should let you go |
| 00:09:57 |
Oh yeah, God bless. |
| 00:09:59 |
We love you honey. |
| 00:10:01 |
God bless. |
| 00:10:02 |
I love you too. |
| 00:10:13 |
Hi everyone. |
| 00:10:16 |
We have one hell of a crowd here. |
| 00:10:18 |
'Mostly Sondheim' is like |
| 00:10:21 |
Every song you sing has |
| 00:10:23 |
or from a songwriter that |
| 00:10:25 |
Oh, actually you can |
| 00:10:26 |
if you tip twenty dollars. |
| 00:10:29 |
And I couldn't imagine beginning |
| 00:10:31 |
without hearing my gorgeous co-host, |
| 00:10:33 |
Kate Pazakis' gregarious, |
| 00:10:38 |
Gregarious? |
| 00:10:39 |
I don't know. I just |
| 00:10:40 |
So, hit it Jack! And |
| 00:10:44 |
? Fridaynight. ? |
| 00:10:46 |
? I spend the whole week |
| 00:10:52 |
? Anticipating all the |
| 00:10:57 |
? We all play parts on Friday night. ? |
| 00:11:04 |
? 'Cause that's when |
| 00:11:12 |
? And the party isn 't |
| 00:11:16 |
? and the next one too, |
| 00:11:19 |
? No the party isn 't over 'til we |
| 00:11:26 |
? See, the party isn't |
| 00:11:30 |
? And I know it's you, |
| 00:11:33 |
? And the party isn 't |
| 00:11:36 |
? 'Til I fall in love with you! ? |
| 00:11:49 |
Alright! |
| 00:11:52 |
Well, it's four AM, and you know |
| 00:11:55 |
You 're gonna finally play |
| 00:11:58 |
No, it means you have to go home |
| 00:12:01 |
'Mostly Sondheim' my ass! |
| 00:12:03 |
They should call it |
| 00:12:06 |
Goodnight everybody. |
| 00:12:07 |
Goodnight! |
| 00:12:11 |
You're ready to go? |
| 00:12:13 |
I'm ready for a lot of things. |
| 00:12:16 |
Hmm, I like the way that sounds. |
| 00:12:23 |
Look! |
| 00:12:28 |
The homosexuals lifestyle is the |
| 00:12:31 |
even more so than terrorism. |
| 00:12:34 |
And they call themselves Christians. |
| 00:12:36 |
Didn't Jesus say |
| 00:12:38 |
"Do to your neighbors as you |
| 00:12:42 |
Well, that sounds |
| 00:12:48 |
Wait! |
| 00:12:48 |
What? |
| 00:12:49 |
No flood? |
| 00:12:52 |
No wrath of God? |
| 00:12:55 |
I guess He approves. |
| 00:13:01 |
C'mon. |
| 00:13:03 |
We've gotta be |
| 00:14:08 |
[Text signal] |
| 00:14:09 |
Another text from |
| 00:14:11 |
Sebastian is not my boyfriend. |
| 00:14:14 |
We've only been dating |
| 00:14:16 |
Honey, you've been |
| 00:14:18 |
If I were you I'd call |
| 00:14:19 |
just so I could say I had |
| 00:14:21 |
It's not about having a boyfriend. |
| 00:14:23 |
It's about finding the right one. |
| 00:14:25 |
I have a little surprise for you. |
| 00:14:27 |
Because you've both |
| 00:14:30 |
I'm giving you some |
| 00:14:32 |
What?! |
| 00:14:34 |
I bet they'll start |
| 00:14:36 |
Art, fashion, creativity, music! |
| 00:14:41 |
? Look at them who are so happy. ? |
| 00:14:44 |
? Look at them, so content. ? |
| 00:14:46 |
? Living there in our garden |
| 00:14:51 |
? This fight isn't over. ? |
| 00:14:53 |
? No, they are gonna pay! ? |
| 00:14:56 |
? Those man who are so happy, ? |
| 00:14:58 |
? those men who are so gay! ? |
| 00:15:02 |
Maybe that's what |
| 00:15:03 |
Gays! |
| 00:15:05 |
'Cause they're happy. |
| 00:15:06 |
Shut up! |
| 00:15:08 |
Hey, this isn't my fault! |
| 00:15:10 |
God and his damn fruit. |
| 00:15:16 |
Oh, hey Steve. |
| 00:15:17 |
Hey Adam. |
| 00:15:23 |
OK, now it's official. |
| 00:15:25 |
Oh you're too sweet. |
| 00:15:27 |
Who would've ever thought |
| 00:15:28 |
you could get this awesome |
| 00:15:30 |
Well look at these cool |
| 00:15:31 |
They're hand blown! |
| 00:15:33 |
That has always been one |
| 00:15:35 |
What about last night? |
| 00:15:36 |
You figured out how |
| 00:15:37 |
It's so much better that way. |
| 00:15:40 |
I know, now I really like bananas. |
| 00:15:42 |
Hey, I wonder if our kids |
| 00:15:45 |
or like them. |
| 00:15:46 |
What do you mean? |
| 00:15:48 |
How do we now if our kids are |
| 00:15:51 |
Or like us? |
| 00:15:53 |
Well, we'll just have to teach our |
| 00:15:59 |
And tell them to stay away |
| 00:16:06 |
Hey! |
| 00:16:08 |
Hi, I'm Adam |
| 00:16:13 |
What's your name? |
| 00:16:14 |
Cain. |
| 00:16:16 |
Do you want a banana? |
| 00:16:18 |
Mommy, |
| 00:16:21 |
Make sure you |
| 00:16:22 |
Stay away from them! |
| 00:16:25 |
They're trying |
| 00:16:27 |
That's how they plan to do it. |
| 00:16:29 |
They don't have to go through |
| 00:16:32 |
They just use fruit! |
| 00:16:34 |
Cain! |
| 00:16:37 |
God doesn't like the gay people. |
| 00:16:40 |
That's why he keeps them locked |
| 00:16:43 |
And He's given us... |
| 00:16:48 |
which is why He loves us more. |
| 00:16:53 |
? Be careful of gaypeople, ? |
| 00:16:56 |
? and theirperverted needs. ? |
| 00:16:58 |
? Theywantyou to be like them, ? |
| 00:17:00 |
? but God needs you to breed. ? |
| 00:17:02 |
? Those gays want to convert you ? |
| 00:17:04 |
? and your little brother too. ? |
| 00:17:07 |
? Make your parents proud of you. ? |
| 00:17:09 |
? You know what just to do. ? |
| 00:17:11 |
Go check on your little brother. |
| 00:17:14 |
? This fight isn 't over. ? |
| 00:17:16 |
? No, they are gonna pay. ? |
| 00:17:18 |
? Those men who are so happy,? |
| 00:17:21 |
? those men who are so gay. ? |
| 00:17:23 |
Mommy, Mommy, Mommy! |
| 00:17:26 |
What is it Cain? |
| 00:17:27 |
I had to... |
| 00:17:30 |
What? |
| 00:17:32 |
He was... |
| 00:17:35 |
He was singing a showtune. |
| 00:17:38 |
NO! |
| 00:17:41 |
Not a showtune! |
| 00:17:44 |
? Somehow they got to Abel, ? |
| 00:17:47 |
? andtaught him their sick ways. ? |
| 00:17:49 |
? Wontyou please protect me Mommy ? |
| 00:17:51 |
? from turning out that way? ? |
| 00:17:54 |
Don't worry Cain. |
| 00:17:58 |
I promise you Mommy, |
| 00:18:01 |
sing a showtune. |
| 00:18:03 |
? We'll show His chosen people ? |
| 00:18:06 |
?just who will win this fight. ? |
| 00:18:09 |
? Abel's death |
| 00:18:11 |
? I know that we are right. ? |
| 00:18:13 |
? We must stop them |
| 00:18:15 |
? new people to their fray. ? |
| 00:18:18 |
? And hate has many uses. ? |
| 00:18:20 |
? We hate those who are gay! ? |
| 00:18:22 |
Cain, get th at book |
| 00:18:25 |
You mean the Breeder's lnformational |
| 00:18:30 |
Yes, honey. |
| 00:18:31 |
But we call it |
| 00:18:33 |
What are you writing it for? |
| 00:18:36 |
I have to teach our descendants |
| 00:18:40 |
Do you think this book will be enough |
| 00:18:43 |
What if they don't believe it? |
| 00:18:45 |
They'll believe what they read. |
| 00:18:47 |
In five thousand year from now, |
| 00:18:49 |
they wont even know who |
| 00:18:54 |
? We'll get His chosen people. ? |
| 00:18:57 |
? Those men, we'll make them pay. ? |
| 00:18:59 |
? I will teach all of the children ? |
| 00:19:02 |
? to hate those who are gay. ? |
| 00:19:04 |
? All of those showtune singing ? |
| 00:19:10 |
? gays! ? |
| 00:19:59 |
Hey. |
| 00:20:01 |
Hi. |
| 00:20:06 |
You 're cute. |
| 00:20:07 |
Thanks. |
| 00:20:13 |
I'm just here to relax. |
| 00:20:16 |
I can help with that. |
| 00:20:18 |
I'm actually seeing someone. |
| 00:20:20 |
I'm not gonna tell him. |
| 00:20:23 |
I'm not here to hook up. |
| 00:20:25 |
C'mon, just let me suck you off. |
| 00:20:27 |
No! |
| 00:20:28 |
Just leave me the fuck alone. |
| 00:20:31 |
I tried to be nice but... Christ! |
| 00:20:34 |
Dick. |
| 00:20:37 |
Can I talk to you about something? |
| 00:20:40 |
Sure, what is it? |
| 00:20:41 |
My parents are coming |
| 00:20:42 |
That's great! |
| 00:20:44 |
It is. I mean they've always |
| 00:20:46 |
but I never expected them to |
| 00:20:49 |
It is your first New York opening. |
| 00:20:52 |
I know, but my parents |
| 00:20:54 |
Oh, so do your parents know |
| 00:20:57 |
I told them it was "Adam and |
| 00:21:00 |
Yeah, there gonna be surprised. |
| 00:21:02 |
And they don't know about me either. |
| 00:21:05 |
This is gonna be good. |
| 00:21:08 |
I'm sorry. |
| 00:21:09 |
I'm serious. |
| 00:21:11 |
They wouldn't let us |
| 00:21:13 |
because it was all magic |
| 00:21:15 |
Well if they think Harry |
| 00:21:16 |
I cant wait to hear their |
| 00:21:18 |
I try to be good, |
| 00:21:20 |
But you've had sex right? |
| 00:21:24 |
What? |
| 00:21:26 |
I wanted to wait for the right guy. |
| 00:21:29 |
But I don't really go out and meet |
| 00:21:32 |
Wow. But haven't you |
| 00:21:35 |
No. |
| 00:21:37 |
Yes. |
| 00:21:38 |
Look, sex is the last thing on my mind |
| 00:21:42 |
I wish I knew what to tell you. |
| 00:21:44 |
My parents are gonna hate me. |
| 00:21:45 |
No they're not. It's all gonna |
| 00:21:48 |
Look, we gotta go. |
| 00:21:51 |
Yeah. |
| 00:21:52 |
Ok. |
| 00:21:53 |
God I wish this wasn't happening. |
| 00:21:55 |
And just as the prophecies foretold, |
| 00:21:58 |
God putAdam and Steve back on the |
| 00:22:02 |
and able to beat the obstacles |
| 00:22:05 |
They were put in different places, |
| 00:22:07 |
and in homes that used the Breeders |
| 00:22:13 |
? I was sitting backstage ? |
| 00:22:17 |
? and wondering what to say ? |
| 00:22:20 |
? so I raised my hands to Heaven ? |
| 00:22:24 |
? and I began to pray. ? |
| 00:22:28 |
? And Jesus said to ? |
| 00:22:30 |
? praise Him. ? |
| 00:22:31 |
? Jesus said to ? |
| 00:22:32 |
? love Him. ? |
| 00:22:32 |
? Jesus said to ? |
| 00:22:34 |
? glorify Him. ? |
| 00:22:35 |
? Yes, Jesus said. ? |
| 00:22:36 |
? Oh, Jesus said ? |
| 00:22:37 |
? find salvation. ? |
| 00:22:38 |
? He said make a... |
| 00:22:40 |
? Jesus said, oh Jesus said. |
| 00:22:44 |
And Jesus said to me, |
| 00:22:48 |
Patty Maye, I want you to go out |
| 00:22:54 |
Tell them how you feel |
| 00:22:58 |
So Jesus, this one's for you. |
| 00:23:02 |
? I'm proud to be a Christian ? |
| 00:23:05 |
? and to love my fellow man. ? |
| 00:23:08 |
? Proud to be a Christian ? |
| 00:23:11 |
? to help others when I can. ? |
| 00:23:14 |
? I'm proud to be a Christian ? |
| 00:23:17 |
? and be nice to everyone. ? |
| 00:23:19 |
? We're not better than |
| 00:23:23 |
? as they continue to fight. ? |
| 00:23:25 |
? We're not better than the |
| 00:23:29 |
? but we are always right. ? |
| 00:23:34 |
And do you know why |
| 00:23:36 |
? And Jesus said to ? |
| 00:23:37 |
? praise Him. ? |
| 00:23:38 |
? Jesus said to ? |
| 00:23:39 |
? love Him. ? |
| 00:23:40 |
? Jesus said to ? |
| 00:23:41 |
? glorify Him. ? |
| 00:23:43 |
? Yes, Jesus said. ? |
| 00:23:43 |
? Oh, yes He said ? |
| 00:23:44 |
? find salvation. ? |
| 00:23:46 |
? He said make a... |
| 00:23:48 |
? Jesus said, oh Jesus said, |
| 00:23:53 |
Isn't she wonderful? |
| 00:23:57 |
Everyday I thank the Lord for |
| 00:24:01 |
Now, do you know |
| 00:24:03 |
Well, I hope so. |
| 00:24:04 |
It is time to hear about Jesus! |
| 00:24:07 |
Amen! |
| 00:24:08 |
But before I can tell y'all about |
| 00:24:12 |
I need to talk to you about |
| 00:24:16 |
My friends, |
| 00:24:19 |
we have fallen on hard times. |
| 00:24:23 |
Now, we want to express across |
| 00:24:28 |
but, we are running out of money! |
| 00:24:31 |
Now you know all the |
| 00:24:33 |
and in your bank accounts |
| 00:24:36 |
well, that is not your money! |
| 00:24:38 |
That is God's money, |
| 00:24:41 |
and God needs his money back! |
| 00:24:43 |
Hallelujah! |
| 00:24:44 |
And then last thing, just |
| 00:24:47 |
I want a sforzando |
| 00:24:48 |
so just watch me, it will |
| 00:24:51 |
Like that, yeah? |
| 00:24:52 |
Yes. |
| 00:24:53 |
Thank you so much. |
| 00:24:55 |
Have a good second act. |
| 00:24:56 |
Thank you. |
| 00:24:58 |
So, what do you think I should do? |
| 00:25:00 |
About what? |
| 00:25:03 |
What? Huh? What? |
| 00:25:05 |
You're a vir... |
| 00:25:07 |
You'll have to excuse her. She's |
| 00:25:10 |
That is not true. I used to pray to |
| 00:25:14 |
Are you really a virgin? |
| 00:25:16 |
This probably wasn't the best |
| 00:25:18 |
We can help you out |
| 00:25:20 |
Oh, no you can't. |
| 00:25:22 |
I didn't mean it like that. I meant |
| 00:25:25 |
We know a lot of hot boys. |
| 00:25:27 |
Come out with us! |
| 00:25:28 |
I'm not trying to get laid. |
| 00:25:29 |
Going out tonight might be good |
| 00:25:33 |
Give you a chance to clear your head. |
| 00:25:34 |
And Sebastian and I will be there |
| 00:25:37 |
don't put you on an express |
| 00:25:40 |
Are you calling me a whore? |
| 00:25:42 |
If I wasn't sitting in this chair |
| 00:25:46 |
But you are, Blanche! |
| 00:26:03 |
To alcohol! |
| 00:26:13 |
Go-go dancing. I couldn't |
| 00:26:16 |
Is he for real? |
| 00:26:19 |
I know, and he has a zit |
| 00:26:31 |
Alright, let's get him another. |
| 00:26:33 |
I'll be right back. |
| 00:26:35 |
Okay. |
| 00:26:38 |
Hey! Hey you! |
| 00:26:40 |
I've never been better. |
| 00:26:43 |
Are you sure? |
| 00:26:45 |
You can call it "wasted', |
| 00:26:49 |
Okay, just don't do |
| 00:27:05 |
I'll show you guys dancing. |
| 00:27:09 |
What is this? |
| 00:27:12 |
No, no, no, no. |
| 00:27:15 |
Alright, I am so over you |
| 00:27:20 |
Put it on my face, |
| 00:27:36 |
Oh my God. |
| 00:27:57 |
So good! |
| 00:28:04 |
I think this is yours. |
| 00:28:06 |
I have no idea how it |
| 00:28:09 |
May I help you |
| 00:28:11 |
You can help me do anything. |
| 00:28:13 |
Oh really? |
| 00:28:15 |
Yeah. |
| 00:28:24 |
Not in front of my friends. |
| 00:28:26 |
What? |
| 00:28:27 |
We can't kiss in front of my friends. |
| 00:28:29 |
You know you kissed me right? |
| 00:28:31 |
Yeah, I know, but |
| 00:28:32 |
we can't do this in |
| 00:28:42 |
Do you want to go somewhere? |
| 00:28:45 |
I've always wanted |
| 00:28:47 |
Well, for tonight, |
| 00:28:51 |
That will do for now. |
| 00:28:59 |
Hey hold this, |
| 00:29:10 |
Hey Eddie! |
| 00:29:12 |
Can I talk to you a minute? |
| 00:29:13 |
Sure, what's up? |
| 00:29:14 |
Sorry. |
| 00:29:16 |
Are you sure you know |
| 00:29:18 |
Yeah, why? |
| 00:29:19 |
I just want to make sure. |
| 00:29:21 |
You and your newfound freedom. |
| 00:29:23 |
You don't have to go home with anyone. |
| 00:29:25 |
Yeah, I know. |
| 00:29:28 |
I wanna go home with him. |
| 00:29:30 |
He's really hot. |
| 00:29:31 |
Okay. |
| 00:29:33 |
I appreciate it. |
| 00:29:36 |
Be safe. |
| 00:29:37 |
Uh huh. |
| 00:30:01 |
I've never done this before. |
| 00:30:04 |
Just relax. |
| 00:30:06 |
Doesn't this feel good? |
| 00:30:08 |
Yes. |
| 00:30:23 |
Wait, shouldn 't we get a con... |
| 00:30:26 |
Don't worry about it. |
| 00:30:28 |
Do you do this a lot? |
| 00:30:29 |
No, you're special. |
| 00:30:36 |
So, what happened |
| 00:30:39 |
What do you mean? |
| 00:30:40 |
Well, first you were drunk, and |
| 00:30:42 |
Scott? |
| 00:30:43 |
Scott. |
| 00:30:44 |
Did you do it? |
| 00:30:45 |
Did you tap his little ass? |
| 00:30:48 |
Well, he actually... |
| 00:30:52 |
No! |
| 00:30:53 |
What? |
| 00:30:54 |
You bottomed for a bottom? |
| 00:30:56 |
I don't even know what to say to that. |
| 00:30:58 |
But you were safe, right? |
| 00:30:59 |
What? |
| 00:31:00 |
You were safe, right? |
| 00:31:01 |
Safe? |
| 00:31:02 |
When you had sex, |
| 00:31:05 |
He doesn't have sex a lot. |
| 00:31:07 |
He said it would hurt more if... |
| 00:31:08 |
Are you serious? |
| 00:31:09 |
He's a slut! Don't you ever have |
| 00:31:14 |
Never! |
| 00:31:17 |
You just met him, that's crazy! |
| 00:31:19 |
But... |
| 00:31:20 |
Never have unsafe sex! |
| 00:31:22 |
Ok? |
| 00:31:23 |
Yes. |
| 00:31:26 |
Five minutes guys! |
| 00:31:28 |
Thanks, five. |
| 00:31:31 |
So, what should I do |
| 00:31:33 |
Well, whatever you do, don't tell them |
| 00:31:35 |
I'm serious! |
| 00:31:37 |
Look, whatever you do, whatever |
| 00:31:41 |
make sure you do it |
| 00:31:44 |
[text signal] |
| 00:31:45 |
What the hell? |
| 00:31:47 |
What's wrong? |
| 00:31:50 |
Someone told Sebastian |
| 00:31:56 |
Oh, that makes sense now, |
| 00:31:58 |
I'm so sorry, I didn't... |
| 00:31:59 |
I'm not! |
| 00:32:01 |
I'm not positive! |
| 00:32:04 |
Benny, you know what |
| 00:32:08 |
I think it's time to tell all |
| 00:32:11 |
just what's going on in our |
| 00:32:15 |
Are you sure you're up |
| 00:32:17 |
I'm strong. |
| 00:32:18 |
Strong. |
| 00:32:19 |
For Jesus! |
| 00:32:20 |
That's my Patty! |
| 00:32:23 |
I'm not sure if y'all |
| 00:32:26 |
but one of our very own singing |
| 00:32:33 |
My sister became a Catholic |
| 00:32:37 |
and they have been raising Steven |
| 00:32:40 |
as a Catholic! |
| 00:32:41 |
Oh Lord. |
| 00:32:46 |
Jesus just told me how |
| 00:32:51 |
Now, a couple of weeks ago, |
| 00:32:55 |
"Aunt Patty, I think there's something |
| 00:33:00 |
Well, I clutched my heart and I said |
| 00:33:02 |
"Please, dear Jesus. Let him tell me |
| 00:33:06 |
Praise Jesus! |
| 00:33:09 |
But no, he said, "Aunt Patty, |
| 00:33:13 |
I am a hhh...homosexual." |
| 00:33:17 |
Homosexual! |
| 00:33:18 |
Well, I fell to my knees and I said, |
| 00:33:24 |
Oh no! |
| 00:33:25 |
Well, thank Jesus, |
| 00:33:28 |
But he was a hh...homosexual. |
| 00:33:32 |
But at least that's a disease |
| 00:33:36 |
Well, Benny and I talked to him, |
| 00:33:39 |
and we read him parts of the bible |
| 00:33:45 |
God hates them. |
| 00:33:46 |
Hates them! Yes! |
| 00:33:48 |
And then, Jesus gave me my mission. |
| 00:33:51 |
And Benny and I together |
| 00:33:56 |
to help those young homosexuals |
| 00:34:01 |
Good Lord! |
| 00:34:02 |
To scare that demon of |
| 00:34:06 |
Praise Jesus! |
| 00:34:07 |
And we found a wonderful |
| 00:34:11 |
named Bruce Cohan, |
| 00:34:13 |
not Cohen. |
| 00:34:15 |
And he used to be a choreographer |
| 00:34:19 |
until he found Jesus. |
| 00:34:21 |
Yes indeed! |
| 00:34:22 |
And he will lead that retreat! |
| 00:34:24 |
Yes Lord! |
| 00:34:25 |
Now part of your donations today |
| 00:34:28 |
will go towards the "Foundation |
| 00:34:34 |
Now, here's our nephew, |
| 00:34:39 |
and soon to be reformed homosexual, |
| 00:34:41 |
Praise Lord! |
| 00:34:42 |
Steven, to give his testimony. |
| 00:34:49 |
Praise Jesus. |
| 00:34:50 |
Praise Jesus. |
| 00:34:57 |
This whole situation has been |
| 00:35:01 |
You see, |
| 00:35:02 |
I love the Lord, |
| 00:35:04 |
but, I know He doesn't love me. |
| 00:35:07 |
I know He doesn't want |
| 00:35:10 |
And I know He won't love me |
| 00:35:16 |
? I will change foryou. ? |
| 00:35:20 |
? I will change foryou, my God! ? |
| 00:35:23 |
? I will be the boy |
| 00:35:29 |
? I will change for you. ? |
| 00:35:33 |
? I will change foryou, my God. ? |
| 00:35:37 |
? I just want to know |
| 00:35:43 |
? I'll cast off these |
| 00:35:46 |
? these desires that I feel. ? |
| 00:35:49 |
? I'll cast out these thoughts |
| 00:35:54 |
? I will change, I promise, |
| 00:36:01 |
? I will change foryou my God. ? |
| 00:36:15 |
Hey Sebastian, it's Paul. |
| 00:36:17 |
Please call me back, |
| 00:36:19 |
I'm not positive. I don't know |
| 00:36:24 |
Please call me back. |
| 00:36:27 |
This is the Lyons. Leave a message |
| 00:36:31 |
Hi Mom and Dad, it's just me. |
| 00:36:35 |
I just got out the show and |
| 00:36:39 |
Hope you guys are well. |
| 00:36:42 |
We'll talk soon. |
| 00:36:45 |
I love you. |
| 00:36:47 |
A lot. |
| 00:36:49 |
? Well, you know I've been a liar... ? |
| 00:36:51 |
I can 't believe someone |
| 00:36:53 |
I mean, if someone told him I was a |
| 00:36:57 |
'Cause it's true. |
| 00:36:59 |
This is just vicious. |
| 00:37:01 |
Fuck it. |
| 00:37:03 |
I'll be right back. |
| 00:37:07 |
That's Johnny, everyone! |
| 00:37:09 |
All right, now it's time for |
| 00:37:11 |
regulars here at 'Mostly Sondheim.' |
| 00:37:13 |
Come on up, Dante! |
| 00:37:14 |
He's not gonna sing |
| 00:37:17 |
Hey. |
| 00:37:18 |
You better sing 'Meadowlark' later. |
| 00:37:19 |
Ok. |
| 00:37:20 |
This is one of my favorite songs. |
| 00:37:23 |
Oh yes he is. |
| 00:37:27 |
? Fernando, the espresso man, ? |
| 00:37:30 |
? brings mejava when he can. ? |
| 00:37:33 |
? Fernando, the espresso man, ? |
| 00:37:36 |
? I love him a lot a lot a ? |
| 00:37:38 |
? latte! ? |
| 00:37:39 |
Someone please shoot me! |
| 00:37:42 |
Here. |
| 00:37:44 |
Just shoot these. |
| 00:37:45 |
? Fills my coffee with his cream! ? |
| 00:37:48 |
You're ok? |
| 00:37:50 |
Yeah... |
| 00:37:51 |
? I love him a lot a lot a ? |
| 00:37:53 |
? latte! ? |
| 00:37:57 |
Thanks for coming here. |
| 00:37:58 |
I just wish I was in better spirits. |
| 00:38:00 |
It's ok. |
| 00:38:02 |
Is it strange that he's |
| 00:38:04 |
Who? |
| 00:38:09 |
Scott. |
| 00:38:10 |
He isn't calling me back. |
| 00:38:11 |
What'd you think was gonna happen? |
| 00:38:13 |
You met him. You had sex. |
| 00:38:17 |
But I thought he liked me. |
| 00:38:19 |
Eddie, it's not about liking you or |
| 00:38:23 |
But it was so special. |
| 00:38:24 |
It was just sex, trust me. |
| 00:38:28 |
Just sex? |
| 00:38:30 |
So I should just go out and |
| 00:38:33 |
What the hell do I know? |
| 00:38:37 |
Why does being gay have |
| 00:38:40 |
I don't know, but you can't |
| 00:38:43 |
You can't let this asshole hurt you. |
| 00:38:48 |
Everything is gonna be OK. |
| 00:38:50 |
And if you're looking |
| 00:38:52 |
you don't sleep with the guy |
| 00:38:55 |
I just feel awful. |
| 00:38:58 |
And my butt still hurts. |
| 00:39:01 |
I'm sorry. |
| 00:39:03 |
As Homer Simpson so admirably put it, |
| 00:39:06 |
"To alcohol, the cause of |
| 00:39:13 |
So, what are you gonna |
| 00:39:48 |
Paul? |
| 00:39:50 |
Yeah. |
| 00:39:59 |
Hey! |
| 00:40:00 |
Thanks for calling me back. |
| 00:40:02 |
No, I'm fine. |
| 00:40:04 |
I just have a lot on my |
| 00:40:06 |
A lot! |
| 00:40:08 |
Look, I can't really talk right now. |
| 00:40:11 |
but I'll call you later. |
| 00:40:13 |
Bye, love you. |
| 00:40:17 |
Hey Sebastian, it's Paul. |
| 00:40:19 |
Again. |
| 00:40:21 |
Listen, I just got tested for you |
| 00:40:24 |
We need to talk. |
| 00:40:29 |
What are you writing, your memoirs? |
| 00:40:31 |
No, I'm just trying to get |
| 00:40:34 |
You're OK? |
| 00:40:35 |
Yeah, this whole Sebastian thing |
| 00:40:40 |
Oh, I got tested. |
| 00:40:42 |
And? |
| 00:40:43 |
I'm negative. |
| 00:40:44 |
Of course. |
| 00:40:45 |
But no matter how safe you are, |
| 00:40:49 |
What did Sebastian say when you |
| 00:40:52 |
Nothing. He hasn't even |
| 00:40:54 |
He's an asshole. |
| 00:40:55 |
No, he's just confused. |
| 00:40:56 |
No, he's an asshole. |
| 00:40:59 |
You know, I try and look for a healthy |
| 00:41:03 |
or someone to spend my life with, |
| 00:41:05 |
but I always end up getting fucked. |
| 00:41:08 |
And not in a good way. |
| 00:41:09 |
That's why I don't do the love thing |
| 00:41:13 |
What you need is to get fucked... |
| 00:41:16 |
I want a husband, two point five kids, |
| 00:41:22 |
I don't wanna be a slut |
| 00:41:24 |
Are you talking about me? |
| 00:41:26 |
Oh, I don't think the word |
| 00:41:28 |
Bitch! |
| 00:41:29 |
Whore! |
| 00:41:31 |
Slut! |
| 00:41:32 |
Oh, you wish! |
| 00:41:33 |
Look, if you wanna change, |
| 00:41:35 |
If you don't, then stop |
| 00:41:38 |
It's just sex, it doesn't |
| 00:41:42 |
It's just like working out. |
| 00:41:46 |
But I want sex to be special - |
| 00:41:49 |
But why? |
| 00:41:52 |
Imagine if you went to a theme park |
| 00:41:55 |
until you found the perfect |
| 00:41:58 |
By the time you picked the right one, |
| 00:42:01 |
and you wouldn't have gotten |
| 00:42:03 |
Sometimes you should just |
| 00:42:07 |
Cute analogy. |
| 00:42:09 |
I am impressed. |
| 00:42:10 |
Thanks. |
| 00:42:11 |
Go on. |
| 00:42:14 |
Be a great big slut. |
| 00:42:18 |
I'm not going on 'Manhunt.' |
| 00:42:24 |
Position? |
| 00:42:26 |
Top. |
| 00:42:30 |
Versatile. |
| 00:42:32 |
Hello! |
| 00:42:34 |
Hello! |
| 00:42:34 |
Tonight I've dug into my trunk |
| 00:42:36 |
and pulled out a song that I've |
| 00:42:39 |
It seems to be the new theme song |
| 00:42:48 |
? I was raised to have values. ? |
| 00:42:53 |
? Of myforbearance, |
| 00:42:57 |
This is fantastic! |
| 00:42:59 |
? So forgive, this vulgar phrase |
| 00:43:05 |
? God, I need to get plowed! ? |
| 00:43:10 |
? To hell with romance. ? |
| 00:43:12 |
? Just drop your pants. ? |
| 00:43:15 |
? I wanna be a slut. ? |
| 00:43:19 |
I decided to hook up online. |
| 00:43:22 |
It's happening. The end |
| 00:43:24 |
Run for your lives! |
| 00:43:27 |
? But now I don't care. ? |
| 00:43:29 |
? As long as myfeet |
| 00:43:34 |
? Well, I wanna be a slut. ? |
| 00:43:38 |
I've tried the whole dating |
| 00:43:41 |
so I'm trying something new. |
| 00:43:42 |
Show us your profile! |
| 00:43:43 |
No! |
| 00:43:44 |
Bitch, let us help you. |
| 00:43:47 |
Trust us. |
| 00:43:48 |
? I'm eagerto please. ? |
| 00:43:50 |
? I'm down on my knees. ? |
| 00:43:53 |
You're using your headshot? |
| 00:43:54 |
Child, I have a camera. But do not use |
| 00:43:59 |
? You'll be the grill, |
| 00:44:02 |
? I'll be the harbor |
| 00:44:10 |
Perfect! |
| 00:44:11 |
But you cut off my head. |
| 00:44:12 |
Exactly! Now we're gonna |
| 00:44:17 |
And you don't have to show this pic |
| 00:44:19 |
unless you're interested in |
| 00:44:21 |
I never realized being |
| 00:44:23 |
? Like a teenage gorilla. ? |
| 00:44:25 |
Don't worry baby, we'll help you. |
| 00:44:27 |
? You don't have to be |
| 00:44:31 |
? Let's cut to the chase, |
| 00:44:36 |
? All guilt has ceased. ? |
| 00:44:38 |
? Pretend I'm a priest. ? |
| 00:44:40 |
? I wanna be a slut! ? |
| 00:44:45 |
? In the john in the mall, ? |
| 00:44:48 |
? giving head in a stall. ? |
| 00:44:50 |
? I wanna be a slut. ? |
| 00:44:55 |
? Call me Maxwell, I'm good. ? |
| 00:44:57 |
? To the very last drop. ? |
| 00:44:59 |
? Call me bitch, call me whore, ? |
| 00:45:01 |
? go ahead, call a cop. ? |
| 00:45:04 |
? Whoeveryou call, just |
| 00:45:09 |
? I've tattooed a target on my butt. ? |
| 00:45:14 |
? Cause I wanna be a... ? |
| 00:45:17 |
It's like Will Rodgers |
| 00:45:19 |
"l never met a man I didn 't like." |
| 00:45:22 |
? Cause I wanna be a slut! ? |
| 00:45:30 |
My parents would have loved this. |
| 00:45:33 |
Paul Connor everybody. |
| 00:45:37 |
Lord! Take a break. Crazy! |
| 00:45:40 |
Alright, let's do something else. |
| 00:45:42 |
Sorry. |
| 00:45:43 |
Hi. |
| 00:45:44 |
Hey. |
| 00:45:45 |
I really liked watching you. |
| 00:45:48 |
Do you wanna see more? |
| 00:45:49 |
Mm-hm. |
| 00:45:52 |
You're place? |
| 00:45:53 |
Sure. |
| 00:45:56 |
? I met my love in a very odd way. ? |
| 00:45:59 |
? From a distance, we connected. ? |
| 00:46:05 |
That was awesome. |
| 00:46:07 |
I do what I can. |
| 00:46:11 |
Did you cum? |
| 00:46:13 |
No. |
| 00:46:16 |
Oh no, no. |
| 00:46:18 |
I wanna make you cum. |
| 00:46:19 |
I'm just really drunk. |
| 00:46:36 |
Come on. |
| 00:46:42 |
What? |
| 00:46:47 |
Yeah... uh... |
| 00:46:54 |
Goodnight. |
| 00:47:16 |
? Looking at men makes us sick! ? |
| 00:47:18 |
? Looking at men makes us sick! ? |
| 00:47:19 |
? We don't wanna suck on dick! ? |
| 00:47:21 |
? We don't wanna suck on dick! ? |
| 00:47:23 |
? Sound off! ? |
| 00:47:24 |
? One, two. ? |
| 00:47:25 |
? Sound off! ? |
| 00:47:26 |
? Three, four. ? |
| 00:47:26 |
? Bring it on home. ? |
| 00:47:27 |
? One, two, three, four. ? |
| 00:47:29 |
? One, two. Three, four. ? |
| 00:47:33 |
Ok boys, it's time to start |
| 00:47:38 |
Sorry, I'm late. |
| 00:47:39 |
Oh, that's OK Sweetie... |
| 00:47:40 |
Son! |
| 00:47:41 |
We're just getting started here. |
| 00:47:43 |
Steve, why don't you |
| 00:47:51 |
Thanks. |
| 00:47:55 |
Thanks. |
| 00:47:57 |
First thing I wanna do is |
| 00:48:00 |
And if you ever forget |
| 00:48:03 |
all you have to do is look down |
| 00:48:07 |
Now, this is how it goes. |
| 00:48:09 |
? I'm gonna go straight... |
| 00:48:14 |
? I'm gonna go be Jesus' friend. ? |
| 00:48:18 |
? I'm gonna go straight... |
| 00:48:23 |
? I'm never gonna be gay, |
| 00:48:28 |
OK, now it's time for |
| 00:48:31 |
? I'm gonna go straight... |
| 00:48:36 |
? I'm gonna go be Jesus' friend. ? |
| 00:48:40 |
? I'm gonna go straight... |
| 00:48:44 |
? I'm never gonna be gay, |
| 00:48:49 |
? Here at 'FAGS'camp, |
| 00:48:52 |
? how to change our ways. ? |
| 00:48:56 |
? We're gonna stop being sissy men. ? |
| 00:49:00 |
? So when we pray |
| 00:49:03 |
? I'm gonna go straight. |
| 00:49:05 |
? To Heaven. |
| 00:49:07 |
? I'm gonna go be Jesus' friend. ? |
| 00:49:10 |
? Hey Jesus! ? |
| 00:49:11 |
? I'm gonna go straight... |
| 00:49:14 |
? I'm never gonna be gay, |
| 00:49:18 |
? Here at 'FAGS'camp, |
| 00:49:22 |
? But it's just to pray! ? |
| 00:49:25 |
? We're gonna learn to |
| 00:49:29 |
? So when we pray |
| 00:49:32 |
? I'm gonna go straight... |
| 00:49:36 |
? I'm gonna go be Jesus' friend. ? |
| 00:49:39 |
? I'm gonna go straight... |
| 00:49:42 |
? We're never gonna be gay. ? |
| 00:50:27 |
? I'm gonna go straight... |
| 00:50:31 |
? I'm gonna go be Jesus' friend. ? |
| 00:50:35 |
? I'm gonna go straight... |
| 00:50:39 |
? I'm never gonna be gay. ? |
| 00:50:42 |
? Be gay again. ? |
| 00:50:46 |
Excuse me! I saw the show. |
| 00:50:52 |
You saw the show? |
| 00:50:53 |
Yeah. |
| 00:50:54 |
There's no way you could have seen it |
| 00:50:56 |
Oh, well, I saw the show last night, |
| 00:50:59 |
but by the time I made it to the |
| 00:51:02 |
so I came to meet you tonight. |
| 00:51:05 |
Glad you liked the show. |
| 00:51:07 |
You look familiar. |
| 00:51:08 |
Oh, I go to 'Mostly Sondheim' |
| 00:51:12 |
Oh, cool! |
| 00:51:13 |
Well, make sure you say hi next |
| 00:51:16 |
Do you... think maybe we could grab a |
| 00:51:22 |
I don't know. |
| 00:51:23 |
I have to run but, but I'm sure I'll |
| 00:51:48 |
Hey! |
| 00:51:59 |
So, how was your workout? |
| 00:52:02 |
Fine, yours? |
| 00:52:04 |
It was good. |
| 00:52:15 |
So I was thinking, |
| 00:52:17 |
maybe we could... |
| 00:52:19 |
You know what would be really hot? |
| 00:52:21 |
What? |
| 00:52:24 |
Not you. |
| 00:52:30 |
Doyou want to take a walk? |
| 00:52:32 |
OK. |
| 00:52:34 |
But don't try anything. |
| 00:52:35 |
I won't touch you I promise. |
| 00:52:41 |
It's so beautiful here. |
| 00:52:43 |
I know. |
| 00:52:45 |
Isn't it wonderful how God has |
| 00:52:48 |
Help us? |
| 00:52:51 |
He should be helping us break out. |
| 00:52:57 |
Are you OK? |
| 00:52:59 |
Am I doing something wrong? |
| 00:53:01 |
Huh? |
| 00:53:02 |
You haven't even tried to touch me. |
| 00:53:04 |
You just told me you |
| 00:53:06 |
I thought you'd at least try. |
| 00:53:07 |
I didn't take you here to molest you. |
| 00:53:10 |
You're not even attracted |
| 00:53:13 |
I think you're absolutely adorable. |
| 00:53:15 |
Then kiss me. |
| 00:53:16 |
I want to know what its like. |
| 00:53:19 |
You've never been kissed before? |
| 00:53:21 |
No. |
| 00:53:22 |
Just kiss me, please. |
| 00:53:25 |
I can't! |
| 00:53:26 |
Forget about the promise. |
| 00:53:28 |
It's not about the promise. |
| 00:53:29 |
It's about this fucked up place. |
| 00:53:32 |
We should get back. |
| 00:53:34 |
Why? Are we just hanging |
| 00:53:37 |
No. |
| 00:53:39 |
What else could we do? |
| 00:53:43 |
Well, we could talk about |
| 00:53:45 |
We can talk about who we really |
| 00:53:49 |
Sick? |
| 00:53:50 |
This place is here to help us become |
| 00:53:53 |
Yeah. You go on and |
| 00:53:57 |
I'm already what God wants me to be. |
| 00:53:59 |
And where are you going |
| 00:54:01 |
My first online date. |
| 00:54:04 |
Oh look our little boy's getting |
| 00:54:07 |
It's like he's growing up |
| 00:54:10 |
Shut up! |
| 00:54:11 |
I'd say good luck, but you know |
| 00:54:13 |
He's real hot too. |
| 00:54:14 |
Yeah, if he sent you a real picture. |
| 00:54:17 |
What do you mean? |
| 00:54:18 |
Don't listen to the bitter, |
| 00:54:20 |
and give it to him once |
| 00:54:23 |
Goodnight boys. |
| 00:54:24 |
Oh, thanks for the help |
| 00:54:27 |
That's what slutty friends are for. |
| 00:54:30 |
Where are my pants? |
| 00:54:32 |
Right here. |
| 00:54:34 |
Thank you |
| 00:54:38 |
Oh, hey! |
| 00:54:40 |
I guess we bumped into |
| 00:54:42 |
Hey! |
| 00:54:46 |
Yeah, I gotta go to work. |
| 00:54:50 |
Hopefully we bump into |
| 00:54:54 |
Yeah sure. |
| 00:55:08 |
Paul? |
| 00:55:11 |
You look just like your picture. |
| 00:55:16 |
I need a drink. |
| 00:55:19 |
Cranberry vodka. |
| 00:55:20 |
Alright. |
| 00:55:22 |
You 're really cute. |
| 00:55:24 |
Thanks! |
| 00:55:27 |
I like the ambiance. |
| 00:55:29 |
I bet you do. |
| 00:55:31 |
I work down the block in the |
| 00:55:33 |
Just The Way God Made'Em." |
| 00:55:34 |
I hear it's great. |
| 00:55:37 |
I can get you comps. Give me your |
| 00:55:41 |
hook it up. |
| 00:55:42 |
Yeah, that'd be great. |
| 00:55:50 |
Let me know when you wanna... |
| 00:55:53 |
cum. |
| 00:55:54 |
Yeah. |
| 00:55:55 |
What are you doing after work? |
| 00:55:57 |
Huh? |
| 00:55:58 |
The change is your tip. |
| 00:56:00 |
Thank you. |
| 00:56:02 |
I got a tip with your |
| 00:56:05 |
Thanks. |
| 00:56:07 |
Come on! |
| 00:56:08 |
Come home with me, I'll fuck you like |
| 00:56:11 |
Whoa Sparky, now you're getting |
| 00:56:14 |
Just give me another drink. |
| 00:56:16 |
How about I give you a little water?. |
| 00:56:18 |
Why don't you just give |
| 00:56:20 |
Why don't you go home and sober up? |
| 00:56:21 |
Why don't you just give me |
| 00:56:23 |
You know I know the owner. |
| 00:56:24 |
Yeah, everyone knows the owner. |
| 00:56:25 |
Just give me another fucking drink! |
| 00:56:30 |
Are you fucking serious? |
| 00:56:32 |
Go sober up. |
| 00:57:24 |
Mom, Dad - I need to |
| 00:57:36 |
So, how does this usually start? |
| 00:57:40 |
How do you want it to start? |
| 00:57:43 |
This is all about you. |
| 00:57:49 |
Well... |
| 00:57:51 |
Would you like me to undress for you? |
| 00:57:52 |
Sure. |
| 00:58:04 |
So, tell me about yourself. |
| 00:58:07 |
Sure. |
| 00:58:11 |
What would you like to know? |
| 00:58:14 |
Where are you from? |
| 00:58:17 |
Well, I'm from Washington. |
| 00:58:23 |
I go to NYU. |
| 00:58:28 |
Nothing crazy or anything. |
| 00:58:30 |
Does your family know you do this? |
| 00:58:32 |
No. They do know I'm gay though. |
| 00:58:35 |
Are you seeing anyone? |
| 00:58:37 |
Yes. |
| 00:58:38 |
Does he know? |
| 00:58:42 |
How would you like a massage? |
| 00:58:45 |
Sure. |
| 00:59:02 |
Isn't this whole thing |
| 00:59:05 |
It was... at first. |
| 00:59:08 |
And you probably end up |
| 00:59:13 |
Sometimes I get to sleep with |
| 00:59:19 |
Do you sleep with hot |
| 00:59:23 |
A lot of young guys just don't wanna |
| 00:59:28 |
And with me there is |
| 00:59:33 |
No bitching, no nagging. |
| 00:59:38 |
I don't care if you want |
| 00:59:41 |
if you want to fuck |
| 00:59:46 |
Do you kiss all your clients? |
| 00:59:49 |
Only the ones I want to. |
| 00:59:51 |
Can I ask you a question? |
| 00:59:55 |
You sure are full of questions. |
| 00:59:57 |
I know this is strange but... |
| 01:00:00 |
can I hold you? |
| 01:00:09 |
I meant... cuddle, hold you. |
| 01:00:16 |
Sure. |
| 01:00:28 |
? You don't have to be a millionaire ? |
| 01:00:32 |
? with a mansion full of art. ? |
| 01:00:35 |
? I just want someone to |
| 01:00:39 |
? Ifyou'd sing me a love song,? |
| 01:00:43 |
? a simple, tender love song, ? |
| 01:00:47 |
? you'd steal my heart. ? |
| 01:00:59 |
[ APPLAUSE ] |
| 01:01:02 |
[ CLUB MUSlC ] |
| 01:02:06 |
I didn 't realize you |
| 01:02:08 |
I'm not having a good day. |
| 01:02:10 |
You wanna talk? |
| 01:02:11 |
Yeah. |
| 01:02:13 |
Let's go downstairs. |
| 01:02:19 |
What's wrong? |
| 01:02:21 |
I told my parents. |
| 01:02:24 |
Did you tell them everything? |
| 01:02:25 |
Yeah. |
| 01:02:29 |
What did they say? |
| 01:02:30 |
Nothing. |
| 01:02:33 |
They always say they love me |
| 01:02:37 |
I think my mom started crying. |
| 01:02:41 |
I could almost hear their |
| 01:02:43 |
hear their hearts break. |
| 01:02:48 |
They hate me. |
| 01:02:51 |
They don't hate you. |
| 01:02:52 |
It's tough for parents to hear their |
| 01:02:56 |
I can't imagine being anything |
| 01:02:58 |
Don't say that. |
| 01:03:00 |
It's all going to be OK, you'll see. |
| 01:03:02 |
No, it's not Paul. |
| 01:03:04 |
You always say everything's |
| 01:03:08 |
Sometimes its going to be horrible. |
| 01:03:11 |
Sometimes things turn |
| 01:03:14 |
You don't know what it's like to |
| 01:03:16 |
You don't know what it's like to |
| 01:03:19 |
and gave you everything. |
| 01:03:25 |
I just wish there was a cure. |
| 01:03:29 |
Something I could take |
| 01:03:32 |
Some pill. Some shot. |
| 01:03:33 |
You are normal Eddie. Why would |
| 01:03:39 |
You know what, you should |
| 01:03:41 |
"Adam and Steve - Just the |
| 01:03:43 |
It might help you out. |
| 01:03:45 |
Yeah, I hear the guy playing |
| 01:03:47 |
I hear the guy who plays Steve |
| 01:03:51 |
Paul... |
| 01:03:52 |
Don't you ever just wanna fit in? |
| 01:03:54 |
No, I never try to fit in. |
| 01:03:57 |
Could you imagine if I tried to be |
| 01:04:00 |
I'd be watching professional wrestling |
| 01:04:05 |
Acan, Eddie! |
| 01:04:07 |
For a date I'd buy a nice box of wine, |
| 01:04:09 |
drive to a parking lot to |
| 01:04:14 |
I don't mind being different. |
| 01:04:16 |
I like it. |
| 01:04:18 |
Because I know I'm better! |
| 01:04:20 |
This is me. |
| 01:04:22 |
Take it or leave it. |
| 01:04:24 |
How is being a slut going for you? |
| 01:04:26 |
Not too well. |
| 01:04:28 |
I even hired a hustler. |
| 01:04:30 |
Really? |
| 01:04:36 |
We cuddled. |
| 01:04:37 |
You hired a hustler and you |
| 01:04:40 |
And you thought bottoming |
| 01:04:42 |
I know, Eddie. |
| 01:04:44 |
I'm just trying to figure |
| 01:04:47 |
And sometimes, when |
| 01:04:49 |
tells you you're supposed |
| 01:04:52 |
you start to think you are. |
| 01:04:55 |
So you don't think you |
| 01:04:58 |
I just wanna be loved. |
| 01:05:02 |
Do you think my parents still love me? |
| 01:05:06 |
What do you think? |
| 01:05:08 |
You always make me feel better. |
| 01:05:13 |
It is gonna be OK. |
| 01:05:15 |
? The day I metyou,? |
| 01:05:18 |
? I could hearthe overture start ? |
| 01:05:21 |
? like a musical theatre love story ? |
| 01:05:24 |
? where a lover gives his heart. ? |
| 01:05:28 |
? I have never been in love. ? |
| 01:05:34 |
? This has got to be our gift |
| 01:05:45 |
? I won 't change foryou. ? |
| 01:05:48 |
? I won't become somebody else. ? |
| 01:05:52 |
? I am now the man |
| 01:05:57 |
? I won 't change foryou. ? |
| 01:06:01 |
? I won't change foryou my God. ? |
| 01:06:05 |
? I just want to know |
| 01:06:19 |
? This is our musical |
| 01:06:23 |
? We're making it scene to scene. ? |
| 01:06:26 |
? Our love is strong and growing ? |
| 01:06:29 |
? on ourjourney to be free. ? |
| 01:07:43 |
Hey Paul, can I ask |
| 01:07:43 |
Hey Paul, can I ask |
| 01:07:45 |
Of course. |
| 01:07:46 |
I have a sore throat. |
| 01:07:48 |
Take a cough drop. |
| 01:07:49 |
No, I read online that it can be one |
| 01:07:53 |
also my glands are swollen, and... |
| 01:07:54 |
If you're scared you should |
| 01:07:57 |
Do you think I might be? |
| 01:07:59 |
After just once? I mean, wouldn't |
| 01:08:02 |
From what? God? |
| 01:08:05 |
It has nothing to do with |
| 01:08:08 |
If God wanted us dead, he'd send down |
| 01:08:12 |
Just go get tested. |
| 01:08:14 |
Would you go with me? |
| 01:08:15 |
Of course. But you're |
| 01:08:18 |
And next time wrap it up. |
| 01:08:21 |
God you're so stupid. |
| 01:08:27 |
Alright everybody, we have |
| 01:08:31 |
We're about to pop somebody's |
| 01:08:33 |
We have a 'Mostly Sondheim' virgin! |
| 01:08:36 |
Come on up Charles! |
| 01:08:42 |
Well, umm... |
| 01:08:45 |
I'd like to dedicate this song to a |
| 01:08:50 |
I don't really know how |
| 01:08:53 |
I thought I would try talking to |
| 01:08:58 |
So I wrote this for him. |
| 01:09:14 |
? I have never believed |
| 01:09:19 |
? but I'm seeingyou most everyday. ? |
| 01:09:24 |
? You've been haunting my mind, ? |
| 01:09:27 |
? since I saw you in the light, ? |
| 01:09:30 |
? and you took my breath away. ? |
| 01:09:35 |
? There are forces at work ? |
| 01:09:38 |
? that we don 't understand, ? |
| 01:09:41 |
? but they're bringing us closer ? |
| 01:09:43 |
? as if it were planned. ? |
| 01:09:48 |
? If someone up there |
| 01:09:54 |
? then who are we to disagree? ? |
| 01:09:58 |
? If someone wiser knows |
| 01:10:03 |
? it's not our place to ask why, ? |
| 01:10:08 |
? and I think we should |
| 01:10:16 |
? If providence deems |
| 01:10:20 |
? then there's nothing we can do. ? |
| 01:10:24 |
? And I cannot deny what |
| 01:10:29 |
? and I think you feel it too. ? |
| 01:10:33 |
? So it's hopeless to fight. ? |
| 01:10:36 |
? There's no place to retreat. ? |
| 01:10:38 |
? So give into your heart |
| 01:10:47 |
Look, I should let you know that I'm |
| 01:10:49 |
really not looking to hook |
| 01:10:51 |
Me neither. |
| 01:10:52 |
I just came out to my parents |
| 01:10:55 |
the last thing on my mind is sex. |
| 01:10:57 |
I can't even imagine telling |
| 01:11:00 |
I'm Mormon. |
| 01:11:02 |
Is that worse than being |
| 01:11:05 |
? And I think we should |
| 01:11:09 |
? I think we should give it a try. ? |
| 01:11:29 |
How'd it go? |
| 01:11:30 |
Good. |
| 01:11:30 |
I'm fine, but they want me to come |
| 01:11:33 |
OK. |
| 01:11:35 |
Oh, I can't leave yet. |
| 01:11:37 |
They want to take me back and give |
| 01:11:40 |
Teach me about safe sex. |
| 01:11:42 |
No problem. |
| 01:11:45 |
Thank you so much for coming with me. |
| 01:11:49 |
I'm glad you're OK. |
| 01:11:56 |
So... |
| 01:11:58 |
I met a cute boy last night. |
| 01:12:00 |
Oh, me too! |
| 01:12:01 |
Mine sang me a song. |
| 01:12:03 |
Mine's a Mormon. |
| 01:12:06 |
I think we're both pretty |
| 01:12:11 |
I think I like being pathetic. |
| 01:12:14 |
Eddie, you wanna come back now? |
| 01:12:27 |
David? |
| 01:13:01 |
I can't believe we're doing this. |
| 01:13:04 |
We said we were going to be here. |
| 01:13:06 |
We can't miss the biggest |
| 01:13:09 |
Even if the whole show |
| 01:13:14 |
I am just as troubled by all of this |
| 01:13:29 |
Hey everyone. |
| 01:13:31 |
Now remember Patty has a new |
| 01:13:35 |
I can't believe they're adding |
| 01:13:38 |
They don't call it 'off-Broadway' |
| 01:13:44 |
Ladies and gentlemen, |
| 01:13:47 |
of "Adam and Steve - Just |
| 01:13:50 |
Before we begin, we must inform you |
| 01:13:54 |
has rated our show "FLAMlNG." |
| 01:13:56 |
This doesn't mean we condone or |
| 01:14:00 |
It just means that if |
| 01:14:03 |
You'll end up burning in |
| 01:14:10 |
God? If you're listening, |
| 01:14:14 |
I'm frightened Adam, I'm frightened! |
| 01:14:17 |
We're lost in the woods and we don't |
| 01:14:19 |
Hello! |
| 01:14:26 |
Are you a good witch or a bad witch? |
| 01:14:30 |
Why, I'm not a witch at all. |
| 01:14:32 |
I'm your guardian angel, |
| 01:14:35 |
Dorothy. |
| 01:14:36 |
An angel? Did God send you |
| 01:14:39 |
No Dear. He sent me here to |
| 01:14:44 |
New York City is God's favorite city, |
| 01:14:47 |
but you can't go there |
| 01:14:53 |
Wear these. |
| 01:14:55 |
Aren't they a little small? |
| 01:14:56 |
Trust me, Steve. |
| 01:15:01 |
These do look good. |
| 01:15:05 |
You look great. |
| 01:15:06 |
You too. |
| 01:15:07 |
Did you think I would steer you wrong? |
| 01:15:10 |
After all, you're both |
| 01:15:14 |
Can I ask you a question? |
| 01:15:15 |
Of course, Steve. |
| 01:15:16 |
Does God hate us because we're gay? |
| 01:15:19 |
Honey, how could you even think that? |
| 01:15:23 |
? God made all different |
| 01:15:27 |
? with different jobs to do. ? |
| 01:15:29 |
? He made all of the breeders ? |
| 01:15:33 |
? to make more gays |
| 01:15:36 |
? So sure, they might be jealous. ? |
| 01:15:39 |
? Don 't listen to what they say. ? |
| 01:15:42 |
? You're just the way he made you. ? |
| 01:15:46 |
? God loves gays. ? |
| 01:15:48 |
? God loves gays. ? |
| 01:15:52 |
? God loves gays. ? |
| 01:15:54 |
? Each one of you is special ? |
| 01:15:57 |
? in your own way. ? |
| 01:16:00 |
? Some people are gays in hiding. ? |
| 01:16:04 |
? They're the ones |
| 01:16:07 |
? They need to know God loves them ? |
| 01:16:10 |
? to help them with |
| 01:16:13 |
God is going to send you |
| 01:16:20 |
? God loves gays, Honey. ? |
| 01:16:22 |
Being gay is an abomination, |
| 01:16:24 |
and the only thing worse than |
| 01:16:26 |
is being a Jew. |
| 01:16:32 |
? God loves gays, Mary. ? |
| 01:16:44 |
? God madly loves the gays. ? |
| 01:17:26 |
? God loves gays. ? |
| 01:17:29 |
? God loves gays. ? |
| 01:17:31 |
? Yes he does. ? |
| 01:17:32 |
? Each one ofyou is special ? |
| 01:17:35 |
? in your own gay way, ? |
| 01:17:40 |
? and it doesn 't matter ? |
| 01:17:43 |
? if you are butch or fey. ? |
| 01:17:46 |
? Stay just the way he made you. ? |
| 01:17:50 |
? God loves gays, Honey. ? |
| 01:17:53 |
? God loves gays, Mary. ? |
| 01:17:55 |
? No matter what yourjob is, ? |
| 01:17:58 |
? He loves you the way you are. ? |
| 01:18:01 |
? You can be a politician ? |
| 01:18:04 |
? or working in a leather bar. ? |
| 01:18:07 |
? God loves all He created ? |
| 01:18:11 |
? no matter what people say. ? |
| 01:18:13 |
? Stay just the way He made you ? |
| 01:18:17 |
? cause ? |
| 01:18:18 |
? He loves you. ? |
| 01:18:20 |
? He loves you. ? |
| 01:18:23 |
? He loves you. ? |
| 01:18:30 |
? He LOOOOO... ? |
| 01:18:46 |
? HE LOOOOV.ES...? |
| 01:18:54 |
? GAYS! ? |
| 01:19:06 |
I was up for that part. |
| 01:19:12 |
I think I'm gonna like it here. |
| 01:19:13 |
There are so many |
| 01:19:16 |
You know what this journey |
| 01:19:18 |
What? |
| 01:19:20 |
That I want you in my life forever. |
| 01:19:24 |
Steve? |
| 01:19:28 |
Will you marry me? |
| 01:19:29 |
Of course I will. |
| 01:19:32 |
No, no, no! You can't do this. |
| 01:19:37 |
The Lord God said that two men should |
| 01:19:42 |
It is Adam and Eve, |
| 01:19:45 |
If God were here right now, |
| 01:19:47 |
Why don't you just ask me? |
| 01:19:49 |
Who are you supposed to be? |
| 01:19:51 |
What did they expect? God! |
| 01:19:55 |
The Father. |
| 01:19:59 |
Watch this. |
| 01:20:00 |
Let there be darkness. |
| 01:20:03 |
I said LETTHERE BE DARKNESS! |
| 01:20:07 |
Now watch this - my favorite part. |
| 01:20:09 |
Why the fuck is it so dark down here? |
| 01:20:15 |
If you are God, then you know it's |
| 01:20:20 |
You shouldn't believe |
| 01:20:23 |
But your book specifically says... |
| 01:20:25 |
My book? |
| 01:20:29 |
What do you think, |
| 01:20:32 |
It was written by man. |
| 01:20:35 |
It was interpreted by man. |
| 01:20:38 |
It was abused by man. |
| 01:20:41 |
I never told people to hurt and kill. |
| 01:20:43 |
I told everyone to Iove. |
| 01:20:45 |
You mean, you love the gays? |
| 01:20:48 |
Didn't you just hear the last song? |
| 01:20:51 |
Maybe we were wrong. |
| 01:20:55 |
I'm so sorry we tried to change you. |
| 01:21:00 |
Can you ever forgive us? |
| 01:21:01 |
Of course I can. |
| 01:21:02 |
I love you both so much. |
| 01:21:05 |
I guess we were wrong. |
| 01:21:12 |
Forgive me |
| 01:21:14 |
? I didn't realize 'til now ? |
| 01:21:18 |
?that our cold, self-righteous |
| 01:21:25 |
? I was taught very young, ? |
| 01:21:29 |
? by those who came before me, ? |
| 01:21:33 |
? to fear and condemn ? |
| 01:21:35 |
? the things I don 't know. ? |
| 01:21:39 |
? There is fear in the hearts ? |
| 01:21:42 |
? of those who would change you. ? |
| 01:21:46 |
? Fear of the light that |
| 01:21:52 |
? They don't know that light |
| 01:21:59 |
? who gave it a brilliant |
| 01:22:05 |
? And to those who would change you, ? |
| 01:22:09 |
? or send you away, ? |
| 01:22:11 |
? you must proudly stand |
| 01:22:18 |
? I was put on this Earth as I am. ? |
| 01:22:24 |
? I was born with my own |
| 01:22:30 |
? I let them shine |
| 01:22:36 |
? I was put on this Earth as I am. ? |
| 01:22:47 |
? There is envy in those ? |
| 01:22:50 |
? who recklessly judge you, ? |
| 01:22:53 |
? wishing their hearts |
| 01:23:00 |
? They don't understand, |
| 01:23:06 |
? and find all the love, |
| 01:23:11 |
? And to those who condemn you |
| 01:23:17 |
?you must strongly plant |
| 01:23:24 |
? I was put on this Earth as I am. ? |
| 01:23:30 |
? I was put here to live |
| 01:23:36 |
? and I know I'm loved |
| 01:23:42 |
? I'm calm and content |
| 01:23:47 |
? I was put on this Earth as I am. ? |
| 01:23:53 |
? I was born with my own |
| 01:23:59 |
? I let them shine and |
| 01:24:05 |
? I was put on this Earth ? |
| 01:24:10 |
? as I am! ? |
| 01:24:24 |
Is there anything you wanna |
| 01:24:27 |
You know, marriage is |
| 01:24:30 |
It's the binding together of your |
| 01:24:35 |
Don 't ever make this commitment |
| 01:24:39 |
You know I love you, |
| 01:24:43 |
If not, I'm willing to wait. |
| 01:24:46 |
My whole life, I've wondered |
| 01:24:49 |
The problem was that I hated myself. |
| 01:24:52 |
And it made me feel so alone. |
| 01:24:55 |
You will never be alone again. |
| 01:24:58 |
You showed me how to love myself, |
| 01:25:01 |
and now I'm ready to love you. |
| 01:25:03 |
I'm so ready. |
| 01:25:05 |
Our little Steven is getting married. |
| 01:25:09 |
? You'll neverbe alone. ? |
| 01:25:13 |
? I'll always be here foryou. ? |
| 01:25:15 |
? You'll neverbe alone. ? |
| 01:25:19 |
? I'll always love you, ? |
| 01:25:21 |
? and I'll be faithful to you. ? |
| 01:25:25 |
? Then with my blessing, ? |
| 01:25:27 |
? and as the angels sing with glee, ? |
| 01:25:30 |
? I'll call you one now ? |
| 01:25:33 |
? through all eternity. ? |
| 01:25:36 |
? You'll never be alone! ? |
| 01:25:42 |
I love you, Adam. |
| 01:25:44 |
I love you, Steve. |
| 01:25:45 |
And they're just the way I made'em! |
| 01:26:05 |
That's our son! |
| 01:26:06 |
That's our son! |
| 01:26:35 |
Thanks. |
| 01:26:58 |
We are so proud of you. |
