|
Bill Ted s Excellent Adventure
|
| 00:02:34 |
Hi. Welcome to the future. |
| 00:02:36 |
San Dimas, California, 2688. |
| 00:02:39 |
And I'm telling you, it's great here. |
| 00:02:42 |
The air is clean. The water's clean. |
| 00:02:45 |
Even the dirt is clean. |
| 00:02:48 |
Bowling averages are way up. |
| 00:02:52 |
And we have more excellent waterslides... |
| 00:02:54 |
...than any other planet |
| 00:02:57 |
I'm telling you, this place is great... |
| 00:03:00 |
...but it almost wasn't. |
| 00:03:02 |
You see, 700 years ago, |
| 00:03:06 |
...ran into a few problems. |
| 00:03:08 |
So now I have to travel back in time |
| 00:03:12 |
If I fail to keep these two |
| 00:03:15 |
...the basis of our society will be in danger. |
| 00:03:17 |
Don't worry, it'll all make sense. |
| 00:03:21 |
I'm Bill S. Preston, Esquire! |
| 00:03:24 |
And I'm Ted... Hold on. |
| 00:03:28 |
Okay. |
| 00:03:34 |
- And I'm Ted "Theodore" Logan. |
| 00:03:42 |
And we're Wyld Stallyns! |
| 00:03:55 |
- Smell it, dude. |
| 00:04:08 |
We blew it. |
| 00:04:10 |
Guess we used too much power. |
| 00:04:13 |
I liked it. |
| 00:04:18 |
While I agree that, in time, |
| 00:04:22 |
...the truth is, |
| 00:04:25 |
...until we have Eddie Van Halen on guitar. |
| 00:04:27 |
Yes, but I do not believe |
| 00:04:31 |
...until we have a triumphant video. |
| 00:04:34 |
It's pointless to have a triumphant video... |
| 00:04:36 |
...before we even have decent instruments. |
| 00:04:39 |
How could we have decent instruments |
| 00:04:43 |
That is why we need Eddie Van Halen! |
| 00:04:45 |
And that is why we need |
| 00:04:50 |
Excellent! |
| 00:04:56 |
- We're late! |
| 00:04:58 |
- For school, dude! |
| 00:05:10 |
Bill, I'm waiting. |
| 00:05:14 |
He's dead? |
| 00:05:17 |
What you're telling me, essentially, |
| 00:05:22 |
...was a short dead dude. |
| 00:05:27 |
Yeah. |
| 00:05:28 |
You totally blew it, dude. |
| 00:05:31 |
- Ted, stand up. |
| 00:05:33 |
Yes, son. Stand up. |
| 00:05:37 |
Now... |
| 00:05:39 |
Who was Joan of Arc? |
| 00:05:43 |
Noah's wife. |
| 00:05:48 |
Listen, guys, don't forget: |
| 00:05:52 |
...1:30 to 3:30, okay? |
| 00:05:59 |
Guys. |
| 00:06:04 |
Mr. Ryan... |
| 00:06:06 |
Before you say anything, |
| 00:06:10 |
...wish to express to you our thanks... |
| 00:06:13 |
...for all the things |
| 00:06:16 |
And what have you learned? |
| 00:06:23 |
We've learned |
| 00:06:26 |
Yes. And that thanks |
| 00:06:31 |
...Genghis Khan, Joan of Arc... |
| 00:06:34 |
...and Socratic Method... |
| 00:06:36 |
...the world is full of history. |
| 00:06:43 |
It seems to me the only thing |
| 00:06:49 |
...is a "salad-dressing dude." |
| 00:06:52 |
Bill, Ted, this is really quite simple. |
| 00:06:54 |
You have flunked |
| 00:06:58 |
Now, unless you get an A plus |
| 00:07:03 |
...guys, I have no choice |
| 00:07:07 |
You know your topics. |
| 00:07:09 |
So I would suggest |
| 00:07:13 |
...if you want to pass the course. |
| 00:07:15 |
- Understand? |
| 00:07:18 |
Okay. |
| 00:07:23 |
Your report |
| 00:07:31 |
Man. |
| 00:07:35 |
What are we supposed to know |
| 00:07:38 |
I'm not sure. |
| 00:07:39 |
One thing I know is that |
| 00:07:42 |
- Then who is Noah's wife? |
| 00:07:47 |
But I do know we're in serious trouble. |
| 00:07:52 |
"Express to the class |
| 00:07:56 |
"... from each of your time periods... |
| 00:07:57 |
"... would view the world |
| 00:08:03 |
We're in danger of flunking |
| 00:08:07 |
- Hi, Bill. Want a ride? |
| 00:08:12 |
I mean, Mom. |
| 00:08:16 |
- Your stepmom is cute. |
| 00:08:18 |
Remember when she was a senior |
| 00:08:28 |
I'll be right back as soon as I get my books. |
| 00:08:44 |
- What are you doing home, Dad? |
| 00:08:48 |
You haven't done anything with them? |
| 00:08:52 |
No, sir. |
| 00:08:53 |
I spoke to your principal today. |
| 00:08:56 |
- He said you're failing history. |
| 00:08:59 |
He also said that if you fail history, |
| 00:09:03 |
You know what that would mean, |
| 00:09:07 |
That I would have to go |
| 00:09:11 |
I spoke to Col. Oates this morning. |
| 00:09:16 |
He's anxious to meet you. |
| 00:09:34 |
Dude, we gotta pass, |
| 00:09:39 |
- Why? |
| 00:09:43 |
Where? |
| 00:09:46 |
Alaska. |
| 00:09:49 |
Alaska. |
| 00:09:57 |
It is time. Their separation is imminent. |
| 00:10:31 |
Be excellent to each other. |
| 00:10:34 |
Party on, dude. |
| 00:11:05 |
Okay, Ted, George Washington. |
| 00:11:07 |
- One: the father of our country. |
| 00:11:12 |
Three: the dollar-bill guy. |
| 00:11:15 |
You ever made |
| 00:11:19 |
Alaska. |
| 00:11:22 |
Okay. |
| 00:11:26 |
Had wooden teeth, chased Moby Dick. |
| 00:11:30 |
That's Capt. Ahab, dude. |
| 00:11:33 |
Wait. Remember Disney World? |
| 00:11:36 |
- Hall of Presidents? |
| 00:11:41 |
"Welcome to the Hall of Presidents." |
| 00:11:45 |
Hi. I brought you guys some food. |
| 00:11:59 |
It's your mom, dude. |
| 00:12:02 |
How's it going? |
| 00:12:05 |
Bad. |
| 00:12:07 |
We're destined to flunk |
| 00:12:11 |
And I am destined to end up |
| 00:12:15 |
And then we will never start our band. |
| 00:12:20 |
Good. |
| 00:12:28 |
- What are you guys studying, anyway? |
| 00:12:31 |
Mr. Ryan? |
| 00:12:33 |
Tell him hi. |
| 00:12:35 |
Why don't you guys take a dinner break? |
| 00:12:39 |
Thanks, Dad. |
| 00:12:55 |
Now your dad is going for it |
| 00:12:58 |
Shut up. |
| 00:13:00 |
- Your stepmom is cute, though. |
| 00:13:04 |
- Remember when I asked her to the prom? |
| 00:13:10 |
1275. |
| 00:13:15 |
Okay, the lady in that car over there... |
| 00:13:18 |
...said that Marco Polo was |
| 00:13:22 |
It's not just a water sport. I knew it. |
| 00:13:26 |
Excuse me. |
| 00:13:30 |
I don't know. I just work here. |
| 00:13:37 |
- You want to try the Thrifty Mart? |
| 00:14:03 |
Not bad. |
| 00:14:09 |
Greetings, my excellent friends. |
| 00:14:13 |
Do you know |
| 00:14:18 |
Perhaps we can ask them. |
| 00:14:23 |
Bill S. Preston, Esquire. |
| 00:14:27 |
And Ted "Theodore" Logan. |
| 00:14:30 |
Gentlemen... |
| 00:14:32 |
I'm here to help you |
| 00:14:35 |
- What? |
| 00:14:41 |
I hate that part. |
| 00:14:44 |
- Bill. |
| 00:14:46 |
Strange things are afoot at the Circle K. |
| 00:14:55 |
Dudes, you guys are going to |
| 00:14:59 |
You are going to have the most excellent |
| 00:15:04 |
- Who are you guys? |
| 00:15:08 |
No way. |
| 00:15:10 |
- No way. |
| 00:15:12 |
We know how you feel. |
| 00:15:15 |
We didn't believe it either |
| 00:15:17 |
...and we-us said |
| 00:15:20 |
Okay, wait. |
| 00:15:22 |
If you guys are really us... |
| 00:15:26 |
...what number are we thinking of? |
| 00:15:29 |
Sixty-nine, dudes! |
| 00:15:38 |
- Look, dudes, we gotta go. |
| 00:15:43 |
Rufus! |
| 00:15:45 |
Listen to this dude Rufus. |
| 00:15:49 |
Right. And, Ted, |
| 00:15:53 |
- Who? |
| 00:15:57 |
Gentlemen, is everything all right? |
| 00:15:59 |
Yeah, except how come |
| 00:16:03 |
Don't forget to wind your watch! |
| 00:16:08 |
Thanks, Rufus. |
| 00:16:12 |
Catch you later, Bill and Ted! |
| 00:16:26 |
Dude, are you sure |
| 00:16:29 |
Ted, you and I have witnessed |
| 00:16:33 |
...but nothing as bodacious |
| 00:16:37 |
Besides, we told ourselves |
| 00:16:41 |
What if we were lying? |
| 00:16:45 |
Why would we lie to ourselves? |
| 00:16:52 |
How are you going to help us? |
| 00:16:54 |
Yeah, are you going to call someone |
| 00:16:57 |
Gentlemen, we're going to do |
| 00:17:03 |
Excellent. |
| 00:17:07 |
Brace yourselves, amigos. |
| 00:17:19 |
Gentlemen... |
| 00:17:22 |
We're history. |
| 00:17:31 |
Rufus, where are we, dude? |
| 00:17:35 |
These are the circuits of history, |
| 00:17:38 |
They'll take us |
| 00:17:41 |
How? |
| 00:17:43 |
Modern technology, William. |
| 00:18:03 |
- That was most unprecedented, Rufus. |
| 00:18:09 |
But where are we, Rufus? |
| 00:18:12 |
Austria, 1805. |
| 00:18:15 |
The French have just invaded. |
| 00:18:20 |
Bill, check it out! |
| 00:18:23 |
We're in the middle of a war, dude! |
| 00:18:38 |
Amigos, time to depart. |
| 00:18:43 |
How's it going, dude? |
| 00:19:20 |
Now where are we, dude? |
| 00:19:23 |
It's my house. |
| 00:19:25 |
Rufus, can we go |
| 00:19:29 |
You can do anything you want... |
| 00:19:31 |
...as long as you remember this: |
| 00:19:34 |
...you must get to that report. Got it? |
| 00:19:37 |
All right, amigos... |
| 00:19:39 |
...that book will give you the number |
| 00:19:43 |
Now, most important, |
| 00:19:46 |
...no matter where you go, |
| 00:19:51 |
...is always running. |
| 00:19:53 |
- Got it? |
| 00:19:55 |
All right, time for me to go. |
| 00:19:57 |
- What do you mean, Rufus? |
| 00:20:01 |
Gentlemen, you're on your own. |
| 00:20:18 |
- Ted? |
| 00:20:21 |
This has been a most unusual day. |
| 00:20:34 |
- It's Napoleon. |
| 00:20:36 |
The short dead dude |
| 00:20:41 |
I have a most excellent idea. |
| 00:20:43 |
Grab his legs. We gotta get him inside. |
| 00:20:47 |
I think I figured out |
| 00:20:50 |
How? |
| 00:20:51 |
We got one historical figure here, |
| 00:20:56 |
Yeah. |
| 00:20:58 |
Deacon, you have to watch this guy. |
| 00:21:01 |
His name is Napoleon. |
| 00:21:05 |
We've decided to collect |
| 00:21:08 |
...for an oral report we are doing. |
| 00:21:10 |
While we are gone, |
| 00:21:14 |
Here is some money. |
| 00:21:25 |
Napoleon? |
| 00:21:27 |
I am Bill. |
| 00:21:30 |
We'll take you back to France after |
| 00:21:35 |
- This is Ted's little brother, Deacon. |
| 00:21:38 |
He'll take care of you. |
| 00:21:43 |
- Ready, Ted? |
| 00:21:46 |
Let's go back into history. |
| 00:21:53 |
This should be most triumphant. |
| 00:21:56 |
I want to speak with you, son. |
| 00:21:59 |
Alone, please, Bill. |
| 00:22:04 |
All right, sit down. |
| 00:22:09 |
What am I going to do with you? |
| 00:22:11 |
Great. |
| 00:22:12 |
You lose my keys, you fail history. |
| 00:22:16 |
You spend all your time |
| 00:22:18 |
...planning a band that will never happen. |
| 00:22:20 |
You're not to leave this house |
| 00:22:27 |
Yes? |
| 00:22:28 |
Capt. Logan, this is Dep. Van Halen |
| 00:22:33 |
Dep. Van Halen? |
| 00:22:38 |
I'm new, dude... sir. |
| 00:22:41 |
Look, we found your keys... |
| 00:22:44 |
...and if you want them, |
| 00:22:51 |
When I get back from the station, |
| 00:23:02 |
We are in serious trouble. |
| 00:23:05 |
My dad already signed me up. |
| 00:23:09 |
That's only if we fail, dude. |
| 00:23:15 |
No way! |
| 00:23:18 |
Okay, we got Sigmund Frood, |
| 00:23:23 |
Is there one for the Western Movement |
| 00:23:28 |
Yeah. |
| 00:23:29 |
Well, then... |
| 00:23:32 |
Let's reach out and touch someone. |
| 00:24:24 |
How's it going, Old West dude? |
| 00:24:28 |
This is just like Frontierland. |
| 00:24:31 |
Yeah, but you can get shot here. |
| 00:24:35 |
- So just try to act natural. |
| 00:24:41 |
- Howdy, partner. |
| 00:24:43 |
- Watch out for the horse crap. |
| 00:24:47 |
- I'm totally thirsty. |
| 00:25:05 |
Two beers, please. |
| 00:25:13 |
- He didn't even card us, dude. |
| 00:25:24 |
Who should we take with us? |
| 00:25:37 |
- Who's he? |
| 00:25:41 |
He's famous, dude. Let's bag him. |
| 00:25:48 |
I need two men. |
| 00:25:51 |
Who's with me? |
| 00:25:53 |
We're with you, Billy the Kid. |
| 00:26:04 |
Here's the deal. What I win, I keep. |
| 00:26:09 |
What you win, I keep. |
| 00:26:13 |
Sounds good, Mr. The Kid. |
| 00:26:30 |
Dude, you've got to have |
| 00:26:39 |
Three aces! |
| 00:26:43 |
What the hell's going on here, Billy? |
| 00:26:47 |
Are you a-cheatin' us, Kid? |
| 00:26:50 |
Cheating? Me? |
| 00:27:12 |
Excellent! |
| 00:27:21 |
Look, we're totally weak. |
| 00:27:27 |
However, how would you gentlemen like... |
| 00:27:31 |
...free passes to Waterloo, |
| 00:27:36 |
Nice try, dude. |
| 00:27:52 |
Come on. |
| 00:27:56 |
- Look. |
| 00:28:06 |
I can't believe they fell for that. |
| 00:28:13 |
- Let's get 'em! |
| 00:28:17 |
Come on! |
| 00:28:19 |
- You guys saved my life. |
| 00:28:22 |
- Where are we going? |
| 00:28:25 |
- Where? |
| 00:28:27 |
Don't worry, we'll bring you back |
| 00:28:32 |
What? |
| 00:29:08 |
Socrates? |
| 00:29:10 |
- We know that name. |
| 00:29:16 |
It's under "So-crates." |
| 00:29:18 |
Yeah. |
| 00:29:23 |
"So-crates: |
| 00:29:25 |
"'The only true wisdom... |
| 00:29:26 |
"'...consists in knowing |
| 00:29:32 |
That's us, dude! |
| 00:29:34 |
Yeah! |
| 00:29:36 |
- Let's bag him. |
| 00:29:54 |
How's it going? |
| 00:30:05 |
I'm Bill. This is Ted. |
| 00:30:11 |
Socrates. |
| 00:30:14 |
Now what? |
| 00:30:17 |
I don't know. |
| 00:30:20 |
Philosophize with him. |
| 00:30:28 |
"All we are is dust in the wind," dude. |
| 00:30:40 |
Dust. |
| 00:30:43 |
Wind. |
| 00:30:45 |
Dude. |
| 00:30:58 |
Let's get out of here, dude. |
| 00:31:09 |
All right! |
| 00:31:17 |
Not bad, eh, So-crates? |
| 00:31:20 |
- Where are we, dude? |
| 00:31:25 |
We are in most excellent shape |
| 00:31:27 |
Yeah, all we need is one |
| 00:31:30 |
Excellent. |
| 00:31:32 |
Billy, you are dealing with |
| 00:31:35 |
...with the greatest of ease. |
| 00:31:38 |
Excuse me. |
| 00:31:40 |
Do you know where |
| 00:31:43 |
...of historical significance around here? |
| 00:31:52 |
Check it out! |
| 00:31:56 |
Must be the castle of King Henry. |
| 00:31:59 |
Let's go, dude! |
| 00:32:02 |
Billy, guard the booth. |
| 00:32:05 |
And watch So-crates. |
| 00:32:12 |
Who should we get for Medieval? |
| 00:32:17 |
How about that gnarly old goat dude? |
| 00:32:23 |
I'm in love, dude. |
| 00:32:32 |
Those must be the princesses |
| 00:32:38 |
We gotta go. |
| 00:32:42 |
But, Bill... |
| 00:32:45 |
Those are historical babes. |
| 00:32:49 |
Okay. |
| 00:32:51 |
You're the ladies' man. |
| 00:33:04 |
Excellent! |
| 00:33:14 |
- Bill. |
| 00:33:16 |
- These are heavy. |
| 00:33:19 |
Heavy metal. |
| 00:33:26 |
- We better go find the princesses. |
| 00:33:30 |
Watch it! |
| 00:33:32 |
Who turned out all the lights? |
| 00:33:35 |
- What? |
| 00:33:40 |
I'm Luke Bill. |
| 00:33:47 |
Come on! |
| 00:33:49 |
Beat you, I will, yes! |
| 00:33:57 |
- I totally conquered you, dude! |
| 00:34:01 |
Come on! |
| 00:34:04 |
I'll never rule the universe with you! |
| 00:34:09 |
- Bill! |
| 00:34:11 |
- We totally know how to sword fight! |
| 00:34:41 |
Search the castle! There might be more! |
| 00:35:18 |
Get out of here! |
| 00:35:26 |
Bogus. |
| 00:35:29 |
Heinous. |
| 00:35:34 |
Most non-triumphant. |
| 00:35:44 |
Don't be dead, dude. |
| 00:35:55 |
You killed Ted, you medieval dickweed! |
| 00:36:23 |
Ted! You're alive! |
| 00:36:26 |
Yeah! I fell out of my suit |
| 00:36:31 |
Fag! |
| 00:36:34 |
Dude, you totally boned that dude |
| 00:36:37 |
He's a total bonehead! |
| 00:36:40 |
He's a fat old man. There must be a way |
| 00:36:43 |
But how? |
| 00:36:46 |
What's that? |
| 00:36:49 |
Those boys. I can't believe they're here. |
| 00:36:56 |
How's it going, ladies? |
| 00:36:59 |
You're the ones |
| 00:37:04 |
I am Ted of San Dimas. |
| 00:37:08 |
And I bring to you a message of love. |
| 00:37:14 |
From who? |
| 00:37:17 |
From myself. |
| 00:37:20 |
And what is this message you speak of? |
| 00:37:25 |
Lyrics, dude. Recite them some lyrics. |
| 00:37:32 |
O you beautiful babes from England... |
| 00:37:36 |
...for whom we have |
| 00:37:40 |
...will you go to the prom with us |
| 00:37:42 |
We will have a most triumphant time. |
| 00:37:45 |
Way to go, dude. |
| 00:37:48 |
It's Father! |
| 00:38:00 |
What does your father want? |
| 00:38:01 |
We're to be married to |
| 00:38:04 |
No way! |
| 00:38:06 |
Will you help us escape? |
| 00:38:09 |
Of course, babes. |
| 00:38:16 |
How's it going, royal ugly dudes? |
| 00:38:22 |
I'm the Earl of Preston. |
| 00:38:25 |
And I am the Duke of Ted. |
| 00:38:42 |
Put them in the iron maiden. |
| 00:38:45 |
Iron maiden? Excellent! |
| 00:38:49 |
Execute them. |
| 00:38:52 |
Bogus. |
| 00:38:55 |
We'll save you, babes! |
| 00:39:00 |
Witches! Heretics! I saw them! |
| 00:39:04 |
They fell from the sky! |
| 00:39:06 |
Heretics! |
| 00:39:08 |
They fell out of the sky! |
| 00:39:11 |
They had fire in their eyes |
| 00:39:24 |
Off with their heads! |
| 00:39:32 |
- Bill? |
| 00:39:34 |
I believe our adventure through time |
| 00:39:50 |
- Billy! |
| 00:39:53 |
Let's go! |
| 00:39:56 |
Guards! After them! |
| 00:39:58 |
- So-crates! |
| 00:40:03 |
Catch you later, evil dudes. |
| 00:40:05 |
Kill them! Guards! |
| 00:40:16 |
Hurry up! |
| 00:40:18 |
Out of the way! |
| 00:41:06 |
Dial fast, dude! |
| 00:41:10 |
The number you have |
| 00:41:13 |
Please check your directory and dial again. |
| 00:41:16 |
Party on, dude. |
| 00:41:24 |
Okay, I got one! Let's go! |
| 00:42:00 |
You guys stay here. |
| 00:42:05 |
Where are we, dude? |
| 00:42:07 |
I don't know. |
| 00:42:10 |
- Sure do play excellent music. |
| 00:42:35 |
- It's you. |
| 00:42:40 |
Who are we? |
| 00:43:32 |
I think they want us to say something. |
| 00:43:35 |
What should I say? |
| 00:43:38 |
Make something up. |
| 00:43:48 |
Be excellent to each other. |
| 00:43:57 |
Party on, dudes. |
| 00:44:00 |
Good one, dude. |
| 00:44:08 |
Got to get back to our report. |
| 00:44:10 |
Yeah. We'd take you with us, |
| 00:44:14 |
...not a future report. |
| 00:44:19 |
Later. |
| 00:44:21 |
Later. |
| 00:44:26 |
- Let's get back and do our report. |
| 00:44:47 |
- Dude! Where are we going? |
| 00:44:52 |
We've got to keep dialing San Dimas |
| 00:44:58 |
Behold. |
| 00:45:00 |
The Zyggie Pig. |
| 00:45:02 |
The single greatest ice-cream spectacle |
| 00:45:05 |
"Eat the Pig, eat the Pig, |
| 00:45:14 |
Embetants! |
| 00:45:18 |
It's ice cream. |
| 00:45:20 |
You eat it. |
| 00:45:23 |
It's good. |
| 00:45:26 |
La glace. |
| 00:45:29 |
Whatever. Just eat it. |
| 00:45:51 |
All behold! |
| 00:45:52 |
- He ate the Pig, thus proving that he's... |
| 00:45:56 |
"Zyggie piggy!" |
| 00:46:17 |
What's that? |
| 00:46:23 |
I don't know. |
| 00:46:28 |
Shit! |
| 00:46:54 |
Where did we land now? |
| 00:46:57 |
Dude, it's Sigmund Frood. |
| 00:47:00 |
How much time we got left? |
| 00:47:02 |
Tons. Why? |
| 00:47:05 |
Extra credit, dude. |
| 00:47:10 |
How's it going, Frood dude? |
| 00:47:21 |
What is this? Let go of me. |
| 00:48:04 |
Was? Was ist los? |
| 00:48:08 |
Come on, So-crates. |
| 00:48:59 |
Welcome aboard, Miss Joan of Arc. |
| 00:49:01 |
My name is Ted and this is Bill. |
| 00:49:31 |
Want a Twinkie, Genghis Khan? |
| 00:49:34 |
Say please. |
| 00:49:38 |
Come on, guys. Jump him! |
| 00:49:45 |
Candygram! |
| 00:49:57 |
Yes, what can I... |
| 00:50:07 |
We've got plenty of time, |
| 00:50:11 |
- Ted, we're out of control. |
| 00:50:13 |
Next place we stop... |
| 00:50:14 |
...we gotta try and figure out |
| 00:50:25 |
Bill, I think I got an idea what's wrong. |
| 00:50:29 |
What? |
| 00:50:30 |
The antenna's broken. |
| 00:50:41 |
Yeah. All right. |
| 00:51:11 |
Attends. |
| 00:51:17 |
Crétin. |
| 00:51:36 |
Come on, let's ditch him. |
| 00:51:43 |
Attends! |
| 00:51:47 |
Attends! |
| 00:51:51 |
- Excusez-moi, monsieur. |
| 00:51:55 |
- "Buddy"? |
| 00:51:58 |
- Pay? |
| 00:52:05 |
I don't want to see |
| 00:52:08 |
- Vous me connaissez, monsieur? |
| 00:52:13 |
Idiot! |
| 00:52:31 |
Deacon! |
| 00:52:42 |
Here is a treat to make |
| 00:52:47 |
...a bit more enjoyable. |
| 00:52:51 |
Why, thank you. |
| 00:53:21 |
Thanks, guys. |
| 00:53:26 |
I sure hope this works. |
| 00:53:42 |
I think it's working, dude. |
| 00:53:57 |
Just a little farther, I hope. |
| 00:54:09 |
That's us. We're back in San Dimas! |
| 00:54:12 |
Yeah. Only now it's not now, |
| 00:54:16 |
Dude. |
| 00:54:17 |
- What? |
| 00:54:20 |
Excellent. |
| 00:54:22 |
- What did we say, anyways? |
| 00:54:27 |
Sixty-nine, dudes! |
| 00:54:33 |
Look, dudes, we gotta go. |
| 00:54:37 |
Listen to this dude Rufus. |
| 00:54:41 |
Right. And, Ted, |
| 00:54:46 |
- Who? |
| 00:54:50 |
Gentlemen, is everything all right? |
| 00:54:52 |
Yeah, except how come |
| 00:54:56 |
...brought us here |
| 00:54:59 |
Because in San Dimas |
| 00:55:02 |
You have to dial one number higher. |
| 00:55:05 |
Yeah. Thanks, Rufus. |
| 00:55:08 |
And hurry, |
| 00:55:11 |
What do you mean, Rufus? |
| 00:55:15 |
You got two hours. |
| 00:55:17 |
Ted, you forgot to wind your watch again. |
| 00:55:22 |
I better remind myself again. |
| 00:55:29 |
Thanks, Rufus. |
| 00:55:33 |
Catch you later, Bill and Ted. |
| 00:55:36 |
That conversation |
| 00:55:39 |
- Watch the gonads, dude. |
| 00:55:42 |
That's just the way I'm built. |
| 00:55:54 |
Great, we made it! |
| 00:55:57 |
Who's the senorita? She's cute. |
| 00:56:00 |
It's his mom, dude. |
| 00:56:06 |
Hi, guys. |
| 00:56:07 |
Hi, Missy, I mean, Mom. |
| 00:56:11 |
Miss Preston, |
| 00:56:15 |
Yeah, this is Dave Beeth Oven. |
| 00:56:19 |
Sie sind so schon, Madame. |
| 00:56:20 |
And Maxine of Arc, Missy. |
| 00:56:25 |
Herman the Kid. |
| 00:56:28 |
Bob Genghis Khan. |
| 00:56:30 |
So-crates Johnson. |
| 00:56:33 |
Dennis Frood. |
| 00:56:35 |
And... |
| 00:56:39 |
Abraham Lincoln. |
| 00:56:41 |
It's nice to meet you all. |
| 00:56:47 |
Can you give us a ride someplace? |
| 00:56:49 |
Bill, I'm not taking you anywhere |
| 00:57:29 |
Done! |
| 00:57:32 |
This is the San Dimas Mall... |
| 00:57:34 |
...and this is where |
| 00:57:39 |
All right, everybody, |
| 00:57:42 |
Beeth Oven, |
| 00:57:47 |
Everybody get together. |
| 00:57:51 |
So-crates, watch out for your robe, dude. |
| 00:57:56 |
Okay. |
| 00:57:59 |
Follow me. |
| 00:58:00 |
You got your Broadway down here, |
| 00:58:04 |
The stratification of our society |
| 00:58:09 |
The few possess much... |
| 00:58:10 |
...while the masses possess little |
| 00:58:14 |
This dichotomy led to a revolution... |
| 00:58:16 |
...in which Antoinette |
| 00:58:19 |
Today, leaders are impeached |
| 00:58:23 |
Still, while in her day, Marie-Antoinette |
| 00:58:27 |
...perhaps today she'd say, |
| 00:58:36 |
- Enjoy! |
| 00:58:40 |
We'll be back as soon as |
| 00:58:44 |
Come on, dude. We don't got much time. |
| 00:58:46 |
Yes, but what do we eat? |
| 00:58:49 |
You ditched Napoleon? |
| 00:58:51 |
Do you realize you've stranded one of |
| 00:58:56 |
He was a dick! |
| 00:59:01 |
How are we going to find him? |
| 00:59:06 |
Okay, wait. |
| 00:59:08 |
If we were one of |
| 00:59:11 |
...and we were stranded |
| 00:59:15 |
...where would we go? |
| 00:59:21 |
Waterloo! |
| 00:59:35 |
Eleven children, please. Are you okay? |
| 00:59:43 |
We're going. |
| 00:59:46 |
Come on. |
| 00:59:50 |
Mon Dieu. |
| 01:00:09 |
Qu'est-ce que c'est ca? |
| 01:00:11 |
Buddy, you're holding up the line! |
| 01:00:18 |
- Sacrebleu. |
| 01:01:43 |
Fantastique! |
| 01:01:45 |
Come on, Napoleon. |
| 01:01:54 |
Why be soft and flabby |
| 01:01:58 |
When you can have a body that cries: |
| 01:02:00 |
"Look at me! Admire me!" |
| 01:02:02 |
With our specialized weight-training |
| 01:02:05 |
...we can help you attain the kind of body |
| 01:02:09 |
All right, let's go, ladies! |
| 01:02:12 |
You guys are looking great! Okay! |
| 01:02:16 |
Jumping jacks! Up! |
| 01:02:25 |
You a musician? |
| 01:02:28 |
Here. Try this. |
| 01:02:55 |
What is this? |
| 01:02:57 |
- Oh, my God. |
| 01:02:59 |
Yeah, don't you think? Look at his sandals. |
| 01:03:04 |
I don't believe his clothes. |
| 01:03:06 |
- Weird. |
| 01:03:12 |
Hi. |
| 01:03:13 |
I'm Billy. |
| 01:03:15 |
This here is So-crates. |
| 01:03:17 |
- Socrates. |
| 01:03:22 |
Hello. I'm Dr. Freud, |
| 01:03:27 |
Oh, my God. |
| 01:03:31 |
You both seem to be suffering |
| 01:03:34 |
- God! |
| 01:03:41 |
Way to go, egghead. |
| 01:03:45 |
- Geek. |
| 01:04:21 |
I need help. I got a live one here. |
| 01:04:27 |
Okay, I need the Lincoln hat |
| 01:04:31 |
You don't understand. |
| 01:04:34 |
Yeah, right. Come on, mister! |
| 01:04:37 |
- It's my hat and my beard! |
| 01:04:48 |
Keep it up! You're looking great! |
| 01:05:10 |
- Take it easy there! |
| 01:05:12 |
Cut that guy off! |
| 01:05:18 |
Stop him! |
| 01:05:33 |
- No, Sig! Over here! |
| 01:05:36 |
- Move. |
| 01:05:41 |
- I demand einen lawyer. |
| 01:06:01 |
There they are! |
| 01:06:12 |
All right, come on, grandpa. |
| 01:06:18 |
Bogus! |
| 01:06:22 |
That's enough. |
| 01:06:33 |
Mom, can't you go any faster? |
| 01:06:50 |
I want to know |
| 01:06:55 |
Why do you claim I'm not Sigmund Freud? |
| 01:06:57 |
Why do you |
| 01:07:01 |
Tell me about your mother. |
| 01:07:03 |
God. |
| 01:07:05 |
- Would you like a couch to lie on? |
| 01:07:16 |
- All right. What's your name? |
| 01:07:19 |
That's L-I-N-C-O-L-N. |
| 01:07:23 |
I know how to spell "Lincoln." |
| 01:07:28 |
What's your birthday, Mr. Lincoln? |
| 01:07:30 |
February 12, 1809. |
| 01:07:37 |
Everything is different, but the same. |
| 01:07:41 |
Things are more moderner than before. |
| 01:07:44 |
Bigger... |
| 01:07:46 |
...and yet smaller. |
| 01:07:52 |
There's computers. |
| 01:07:59 |
Take your time. |
| 01:08:01 |
San Dimas high-school football rules! |
| 01:08:18 |
I can't believe my dad arrested them all. |
| 01:08:22 |
What are we going to do? |
| 01:08:24 |
You go in and talk to your dad. |
| 01:08:27 |
Missy, I mean, Mom, |
| 01:08:33 |
Stay. |
| 01:08:39 |
- Lock him up with the rest of the wackos. |
| 01:08:42 |
- Dad! |
| 01:08:46 |
- What? |
| 01:08:48 |
- But, Dad... |
| 01:08:50 |
You go home and you pack your bags now! |
| 01:09:01 |
- How'd it go? |
| 01:09:02 |
Our historical figures are all locked up |
| 01:09:07 |
Can we get your dad's keys? |
| 01:09:09 |
We could steal them, |
| 01:09:12 |
If only we could go back in time |
| 01:09:18 |
- Why can't we? |
| 01:09:21 |
We could do it after the report. |
| 01:09:24 |
Good thinking, dude! |
| 01:09:26 |
After the report, |
| 01:09:28 |
...steal the keys and leave them here! |
| 01:09:31 |
- Where? |
| 01:09:35 |
That way, when we get here now, |
| 01:09:41 |
- See? |
| 01:09:43 |
So, after the report, we can't forget |
| 01:09:48 |
But it did happen! |
| 01:09:52 |
That's exactly it. Come on. |
| 01:09:57 |
- Mom? |
| 01:09:59 |
- Can you please bring the car around back? |
| 01:10:03 |
Come on. We've got some |
| 01:10:08 |
Over and out. |
| 01:10:25 |
How are we going to get past my dad? |
| 01:10:29 |
- You got a tape recorder at home? |
| 01:10:33 |
- Remember to get the tape recorder. |
| 01:10:37 |
Set a timer on it for... |
| 01:10:40 |
2:13. |
| 01:10:41 |
- Got it? |
| 01:10:46 |
- What am I going to say on it? |
| 01:10:50 |
Hey, Dad! |
| 01:10:51 |
It's you, dude. |
| 01:10:57 |
- Ted? |
| 01:11:02 |
Yeah, this way! |
| 01:11:26 |
Look! Check it out. |
| 01:11:30 |
"Dear Bill and Ted. |
| 01:11:32 |
"Good luck on the report. |
| 01:11:34 |
"Sincerely, Bill S. Preston, Esquire |
| 01:11:38 |
That was nice of us. |
| 01:11:40 |
"P.S. |
| 01:11:42 |
"Duck!" |
| 01:11:49 |
Excellent work, dude. |
| 01:11:50 |
- Way to go! |
| 01:12:06 |
- Merci. |
| 01:12:08 |
I ask that you all work together |
| 01:12:12 |
Very quiet. Quiet! |
| 01:12:16 |
Against the wall, everybody, please. |
| 01:12:19 |
- Hurry up, Billy. |
| 01:12:22 |
Over here, Dad! |
| 01:12:24 |
Down here! |
| 01:12:26 |
Way to go, dude. You stalled him. |
| 01:12:28 |
What else do I say? |
| 01:12:30 |
And now, opening for Iron Maiden, |
| 01:12:39 |
Come on, put your back into it. |
| 01:12:42 |
What in the hell do you think you're doing? |
| 01:12:44 |
- Trashcan. Remember a trashcan. |
| 01:12:49 |
Get this thing off me! |
| 01:12:51 |
Sorry, Dad, |
| 01:12:56 |
By the way, I found your keys. |
| 01:12:59 |
Where are you? Get this off me! |
| 01:13:08 |
In conclusion, I think Abraham Lincoln |
| 01:13:13 |
...with the world of San Dimas. |
| 01:13:27 |
Down the hall, to the left. Quiet. |
| 01:13:32 |
And I'm sure I speak |
| 01:13:36 |
...when I say that your reports |
| 01:13:39 |
...and very informative for all of us. |
| 01:13:42 |
It seems we may be |
| 01:13:45 |
...so we'll leave just a bit early. |
| 01:13:49 |
But once again, I want to thank you all |
| 01:13:54 |
Who turned out the lights? |
| 01:13:59 |
Hello, San Dimas. |
| 01:14:01 |
Please welcome, |
| 01:14:06 |
...from all throughout history... |
| 01:14:08 |
...some of the greatest people |
| 01:14:11 |
...in their 1988 world tour! |
| 01:14:24 |
How's it going? |
| 01:14:26 |
I'm Billy the Kid. |
| 01:14:40 |
I'd like you all to put your hands together. |
| 01:14:50 |
Now, my good friends... |
| 01:14:54 |
...Bill S. Preston, Esquire... |
| 01:14:57 |
...and Ted "Theodore" Logan. |
| 01:15:01 |
Thank you. |
| 01:15:04 |
Hello, San Dimas High. |
| 01:15:07 |
Mr. Ryan, |
| 01:15:10 |
...teachers, babes. |
| 01:15:13 |
- Our first speaker was born in 470 B.C. |
| 01:15:19 |
A time when much of the world... |
| 01:15:21 |
...looked like the cover of |
| 01:15:25 |
We were there. There were many steps |
| 01:15:31 |
He is sometimes known |
| 01:15:35 |
He was the teacher of Plato, |
| 01:15:39 |
And like Ozzy Osbourne, was repeatedly |
| 01:15:44 |
And since he doesn't speak English... |
| 01:15:47 |
...my friend Ted, here, |
| 01:15:50 |
So please welcome, |
| 01:15:53 |
...the most bodacious |
| 01:15:57 |
...Socrates! |
| 01:16:01 |
...totally out of control. |
| 01:16:04 |
If you and your wife used a little discipline, |
| 01:16:09 |
Is discipline your key to success with Ted? |
| 01:16:12 |
Yes, it is! He's going to |
| 01:16:15 |
...loves you best... |
| 01:16:20 |
...in all the world. |
| 01:16:23 |
What are they doing up there? |
| 01:16:26 |
He also loves baseball. |
| 01:16:31 |
Therefore, Ted's father's |
| 01:16:35 |
...has caused him |
| 01:16:38 |
...of all of his own deepest anxieties |
| 01:16:44 |
And hence, |
| 01:16:53 |
Okay? |
| 01:16:57 |
Yes. |
| 01:17:03 |
No, just got a minor Oedipal complex. |
| 01:17:08 |
It is indeed a pleasure |
| 01:17:11 |
...a gentleman we picked up |
| 01:17:14 |
...in the year 1269. |
| 01:17:17 |
Please welcome, |
| 01:17:20 |
...Mr. Genghis Khan! |
| 01:17:26 |
This is a dude who, 700 years ago... |
| 01:17:30 |
...totally ravaged China, |
| 01:17:34 |
...totally ravaged |
| 01:17:39 |
A most bodacious soldier and general... |
| 01:17:43 |
...Miss Of Arc totally rousted |
| 01:17:46 |
And then she turned this dude, |
| 01:17:50 |
And all this by the time she was 17. |
| 01:17:54 |
Je vais remporter un triomphe terrible... |
| 01:17:58 |
...en Russie... |
| 01:18:01 |
...avec mes waterslides. |
| 01:18:06 |
The music of Ludwig von Beethoven. |
| 01:18:13 |
As you can see, |
| 01:18:15 |
...because of the excellent sugar rush. |
| 01:18:18 |
He also loves billiards. |
| 01:18:23 |
Beethoven's favorite works include |
| 01:18:26 |
...Handel's Messiah, |
| 01:18:31 |
To improve on the condition of her armies, |
| 01:18:36 |
...a full-scale aerobics program |
| 01:18:40 |
I don't think it's going to work. |
| 01:18:46 |
Triomphe, Napoléon! |
| 01:18:55 |
He loves... |
| 01:18:57 |
He loves San Dimas. |
| 01:19:09 |
And now, for our last speaker. |
| 01:19:13 |
One of the greatest presidents |
| 01:19:19 |
...Mr. Abraham Lincoln. |
| 01:19:43 |
Fourscore and... |
| 01:19:47 |
...seven minutes ago... |
| 01:19:50 |
...we, your forefathers... |
| 01:19:54 |
...were brought forth upon |
| 01:20:00 |
...conceived by our new friends... |
| 01:20:05 |
...Bill... |
| 01:20:09 |
...and Ted. |
| 01:20:12 |
These two great gentlemen... |
| 01:20:16 |
...are dedicated to a proposition... |
| 01:20:19 |
...which was true in my time... |
| 01:20:22 |
...just as it's true today. |
| 01:20:28 |
Be excellent to each other. |
| 01:20:34 |
And... |
| 01:20:37 |
...party on, dudes! |
| 01:20:47 |
No way! |
| 01:20:59 |
Thank you, San Dimas High. |
| 01:21:32 |
We want more! |
| 01:21:41 |
Intro. |
| 01:21:43 |
I'm Bill S. Preston, Esquire. |
| 01:21:57 |
What's up, Ted? |
| 01:22:03 |
We traveled through time. |
| 01:22:06 |
I mean, we met lots of great leaders |
| 01:22:12 |
And look at us. Nothing's different. |
| 01:22:18 |
Maybe it's time we get Eddie Van Halen. |
| 01:22:22 |
Maybe we should start |
| 01:22:26 |
Maybe you're right. |
| 01:22:42 |
Hello again, my excellent friends. |
| 01:22:48 |
Congratulations on |
| 01:22:52 |
Rufus, the babes. |
| 01:22:55 |
We looked all over England for you. |
| 01:22:57 |
Where'd you get those savory clothes? |
| 01:23:01 |
Rufus introduced us to |
| 01:23:05 |
And something called credit cards. |
| 01:23:08 |
I got them out of England just before |
| 01:23:13 |
Way to go, Rufus. |
| 01:23:24 |
How can we ever thank you, Rufus? |
| 01:23:26 |
You can start by signing this for my kids. |
| 01:23:31 |
- Why? |
| 01:23:34 |
- What? |
| 01:23:37 |
Wyld Stallyns' music has become |
| 01:23:43 |
No way! |
| 01:23:45 |
Yes way! |
| 01:23:47 |
In fact, I believe you were there. |
| 01:23:53 |
And the totally excellent music. |
| 01:23:56 |
They totally worshipped us there. |
| 01:23:58 |
I know. |
| 01:24:00 |
That's why I was sent to make sure |
| 01:24:04 |
If you guys were separated, it would have |
| 01:24:09 |
You see, eventually, your music |
| 01:24:14 |
It will align the planets |
| 01:24:18 |
...allowing meaningful contact |
| 01:24:21 |
...from extraterrestrial beings |
| 01:24:26 |
And... |
| 01:24:28 |
...it's excellent for dancing. |
| 01:24:34 |
Why don't you have the ladies sign as well, |
| 01:24:37 |
- After all, they are in the band. |
| 01:24:40 |
Excellent! |
| 01:24:43 |
Where are you going, Rufus? |
| 01:24:46 |
I got a surprise for you. |
| 01:24:57 |
Here. |
| 01:24:59 |
That's to help you |
| 01:25:02 |
Thanks, Rufus. |
| 01:25:03 |
I just have one further humble request: |
| 01:25:07 |
If I might be so honored to jam with you? |
| 01:25:12 |
- Do you know how to play, Rufus? |
| 01:25:39 |
- Most outstanding. |
| 01:25:51 |
- Bill, my friend? |
| 01:25:54 |
This has been a most excellent adventure. |
| 01:25:58 |
- One. |
| 01:25:59 |
One, two, three, four! |
| 01:26:08 |
They do get better. |
