Blades Of Glory

en
00:01:43 I'll take him.
00:02:14 Jimmy MacElroy. The crowd swooning
00:02:19 They are giving him the love
00:02:28 Here it comes.
00:02:29 And he nails it!
00:02:34 It's the best he's been.
00:02:38 Now there's the arm.
00:02:40 And you know what that means.
00:02:42 Yes. The galloping peacock.
00:02:45 Flawless. Just textbook perfection.
00:02:50 There are very few women
00:02:53 that skate with this kind of beauty.
00:02:55 Come on, Jimmy. Nail it!
00:03:00 Ending the programme
00:03:04 What a great effort!
00:03:11 He couldn't skate any better than that.
00:03:13 The performance of a lifetime,
00:03:16 Elegant with
00:03:18 And there it is.
00:03:19 So important to remember that
00:03:23 Jimmy's renowned
00:03:25 But after that performance,
00:03:28 But after that performance,
00:03:28 While the judges decide Jimmy's fate,
00:03:30 Iet's take a look
00:03:33 He is a child of privilege.
00:03:35 A classic skater defined
00:03:38 and an ability to endure great pain.
00:03:40 He was plucked from an orphanage
00:03:42 by billionaire champion-maker,
00:03:45 Once a breeder of some of the most
00:03:48 Darren had turned his attention
00:03:49 to nurturing athletically advanced
00:03:52 His ultimate find came in the form
00:03:56 I guess I had a pretty normal childhood.
00:03:59 With his father's state of the art,
00:04:01 some say questionable,
00:04:03 this child prodigy
00:04:09 Soon, Jimmy was sweeping the gold
00:04:10 while his trademark Jimmy curl
00:04:13 with kids of all ages fashion drafting
00:04:16 A champion, an icon, a giver.
00:04:19 Jimmy MacElroy,
00:04:25 -Well, Coach?
00:04:28 You nailed it shut.
00:04:31 I am so proud of you.
00:04:32 Thanks. Dad, what'd you think?
00:04:35 Decided on our own to do
00:04:37 Look, I knew I had it.
00:04:40 Feeling? We're feeling now?
00:04:43 Jimmy!
00:04:44 I sent you a cup of my blood!
00:04:48 Please don't encourage them. Come on.
00:04:50 Move!
00:04:51 They may look cute and innocent
00:04:53 but a beehive for germs and bacteria.
00:04:55 -Remember the slides I showed you?
00:04:58 You smell like a winner!
00:05:01 -Ladies and gentlemen...
00:05:03 -I'll call you!
00:05:04 5.9, 5.9, 6.0,
00:05:09 5.9, 6.0, 5.8.
00:05:13 All right, not bad, not bad.
00:05:16 Hands.
00:05:18 Skittles.
00:05:21 Hey, MacElroy. Was that your routine?
00:05:24 Or a performance
00:05:27 Besides, you're too late.
00:05:28 They already handed out
00:05:30 Shut up, Michaels.
00:05:31 That was textbook execution.
00:05:35 I was on Quaaludes.
00:05:37 But I remember Boston,
00:05:39 and that victory was
00:05:41 for which the town was named.
00:05:45 Step aside, home school.
00:05:50 Chazz!
00:05:56 There he is. Skating's outlaw,
00:06:04 This cowboy is cracking his whip on the
00:06:13 How do you describe
00:06:19 He just uses everything at his disposal.
00:06:27 And he just nails the triple Axel!
00:06:32 Surfing a tsunami of swagger right now.
00:06:34 Well, you know he is sex on ice.
00:06:47 Hello, ladies. Typical of Michaels,
00:06:51 He wants to make love to the crowd.
00:06:56 That's why those seats are so valuable.
00:06:58 That's what they want
00:07:10 Michaels just slipped MacElroy
00:07:13 You have been called out, sir.
00:07:24 You're welcome, Stockholm.
00:07:25 Unreal. An instant classic.
00:07:28 Just when you think you've seen it all,
00:07:29 Chazz Michael Michaels walks in
00:07:33 The undefeatable underdog,
00:07:36 Chazz Michael Michaels has come
00:07:39 Iike a stack of classic Euro porn.
00:07:41 And so while his scores
00:07:43 Iet's learn a little bit more
00:07:49 Chazz Michael Michaels,
00:07:53 Spawned in the hell-fires of Motown.
00:07:55 Troubled childhood?
00:07:57 If you call being a nine-year-old kid
00:08:01 At age 12, Chazz escaped a life of
00:08:04 by becoming a star in Detroit's
00:08:09 The only skater to win four national
00:08:12 which is not to say this rough-hewn
00:08:17 He recently published a book of poetry,
00:08:21 Before a big competition,
00:08:23 The Native Americans always said
00:08:25 that working with hides and pelts
00:08:28 These are a couple of diaper bags
00:08:31 Two men, only one winner.
00:08:33 Will it be Chazz Michael Michaels?
00:08:36 Personal philosophy: clothing optional.
00:08:41 Hope you brought your silver polish,
00:08:44 That was disgusting.
00:08:45 That, young man,
00:08:47 -Get out of my face.
00:08:50 Mr Michael Michaels,
00:08:51 please gather your coach,
00:08:53 and move to the bench
00:08:55 Hey, traffic cop. Get this straight.
00:08:58 And as for friends and family,
00:09:02 That's why they call me the Lone Wolf,
00:09:05 5.9, 5.9, 6.0...
00:09:10 That's what I'm talking about.
00:09:11 5.9, 6.0...
00:09:14 Another 6.0.
00:09:15 ...5.8.
00:09:17 Was it good for you, Stockholm?
00:09:18 'Cause it was good for me.
00:09:21 Eat that, MacElroy.
00:09:22 Those were the same scores
00:09:25 -Ladies and gentlemen, we have a tie.
00:09:28 From the United States,
00:09:30 and Chazz Michael Michaels.
00:09:35 You're fired.
00:09:37 What? I brought you a gold medal.
00:09:39 No, you brought me half a gold medal.
00:09:41 If I wanted him to share,
00:09:44 It's raining men in the men's singles.
00:09:48 And they join Team USA's
00:09:51 the pairs team of
00:09:55 Stranz and Fairchild Van Waldenberg,
00:09:58 America's brother and sister darlings,
00:10:01 the gold standard
00:10:04 Children of
00:10:07 Otto and Ella Van Waldenberg,
00:10:08 the twin dynamos Stranz and Fairchild
00:10:13 while their sister, Katie,
00:10:16 Theirs seemed to be a charmed life
00:10:21 when their parents died tragically
00:10:24 Katie would survive.
00:10:26 The world wondered, had Stranz
00:10:29 from which they could never recover?
00:10:31 But the siblings' commitment was such
00:10:33 that they were back in the training rink
00:10:36 So tonight, the crowd cheers
00:10:39 Well, Stranz and Fairchild,
00:10:41 how heavy is that gold
00:10:43 Scott, this may be solid gold
00:10:47 because dreams never weigh you down.
00:10:48 No. Dreams are in your sleep.
00:10:50 What about the amazing
00:10:53 Two gold medals?
00:10:55 Yeah. That's great.
00:10:58 Well, speaking of gold medals,
00:10:59 the winners of the men's singles
00:11:00 are taking their place
00:11:09 This has to be a proud moment
00:11:12 You have to think, the only thing
00:11:15 is sharing it
00:11:17 Gosh, I'm getting sick.
00:11:18 You smell like
00:11:20 Yes, I do. Now scoot over.
00:11:22 Don't touch me. Nobody touches me.
00:11:25 -Just scoot over, man.
00:11:26 -Just scoot over.
00:11:28 Now there's some jostling
00:11:29 and down goes
00:11:32 MacElroy still waving to the crowd.
00:11:35 Look, MacElroy's also down now.
00:11:37 I have never in all my years
00:11:39 this disgraceful on the world stage.
00:11:41 I am stunned silent,
00:11:44 You get that damned bird out of my face
00:11:46 A perfect head butt!
00:11:48 And Spaetzle's aflame!
00:11:51 Spaetzle! Oh, my God!
00:12:10 As we prepare to hear testimony,
00:12:13 will be given a chance
00:12:23 We love you, Jimmy.
00:12:26 Hey. Nancy Kerrigan.
00:12:30 You an official here?
00:12:32 'Cause you have officially given me
00:12:36 I'm a sex addict. It's my cross to bear.
00:12:40 It's a real disease with doctors
00:12:45 Let's get started, shall we?
00:12:47 If either one of you would like
00:12:49 before the commission
00:12:51 you may do so at this time.
00:12:55 Fans, friends, esteemed members
00:13:00 I don't know what I can say,
00:13:01 but I pray you can all forgive me.
00:13:04 More than that,
00:13:07 Oh, my God.
00:13:08 -I place my future in their tiny hands.
00:13:11 God bless you. God bless everyone.
00:13:16 God bless you, Jimmy.
00:13:21 Maxim.
00:13:23 Last issue.
00:13:25 "Chazz Michael Michaels
00:13:28 Boom!
00:13:33 All right, duly noted.
00:13:35 In accordance with the rules of
00:13:39 James MacElroy
00:13:43 you are to be stripped of your medals...
00:13:45 What?
00:13:46 ...and banned from men's figure skating
00:13:50 Hey, you listen to me, old man!
00:13:53 Oh, that sucks.
00:13:55 Look what you did to my ex-wife!
00:13:56 I'm gonna pop you
00:14:01 Banned for life. That's a long time.
00:14:05 Jimmy, it'll all work out.
00:14:08 It's time for a fresh start.
00:14:10 -Yeah, a fresh start. Exactly.
00:14:15 -I'm un-adopting you.
00:14:17 I don't think un-adopting
00:14:19 Legally, I'm disowning you.
00:14:22 But it amounts to the same thing, so...
00:14:23 But I've been your son for 26 years.
00:14:25 Twenty-two, so nobody can say
00:14:28 Now, I think it would be best for all of us
00:14:37 It would make it easier for me, Jimmy,
00:14:40 Wait!
00:14:41 It's like a Band-Aid. Just rip it off.
00:15:16 Hey, everybody,
00:15:19 Second show tickets now available.
00:15:23 Tra-la-la-la, tra-la-la-la
00:15:28 We love to roam our woodsy home
00:15:34 Tra-la-la-la, tra-la-la-la
00:15:39 Oh, God.
00:15:45 I hate you.
00:15:50 I hate my life.
00:15:52 Oh, no! It's the evil wizard!
00:15:55 Boo!
00:16:09 I mean, I had it with skating
00:16:13 Just like, I don't need that.
00:16:14 I mean, for me, it's so much
00:16:19 The eyes of a small child,
00:16:22 They see you skate out there
00:16:28 Nice. Really nice.
00:16:30 Hey, Sammy, it's not what it looks like.
00:16:36 Sam. Sammy, come on, baby.
00:16:39 You knew this was how I rolled
00:16:41 No. When I met you,
00:16:43 Now you're getting stoned
00:16:45 I don't even know
00:16:47 You're living in the past, Sammy.
00:16:48 Come on,
00:16:50 we're living in the here and now.
00:16:52 And we're feeling so free.
00:16:56 Baby. Come on, babe.
00:16:58 Hey, Michaels, let's go. Lace up.
00:17:02 Second show's
00:17:04 -You drunk?
00:17:07 But this ought to do it.
00:17:10 I would fire you
00:17:13 if you weren't so goddamn beautiful
00:17:16 -You smell like urine.
00:17:19 Get your head on.
00:17:26 They don't feel right.
00:17:28 That's because I'm not finished.
00:17:29 You see, it helps to think of the laces
00:17:33 First, the foundation.
00:17:35 They're too tight.
00:17:36 Daddy! He's crushing me.
00:17:39 Doing it right takes a little bit longer,
00:17:41 Hey, what are you doing?
00:17:44 Well, but she's wrong.
00:17:46 I mean, who are you gonna trust,
00:17:50 -Who the hell is Jimmy MacElroy?
00:17:52 Yeah, this kid is torturing
00:17:55 I'm so sorry, sir.
00:17:56 You know what, Jimmy? Off the skates,
00:18:10 Hey, Jimmy.
00:18:12 Hector?
00:18:13 What are you doing here?
00:18:14 You know
00:18:18 Oh, that thing?
00:18:20 You look great, Jimmy.
00:18:23 Thanks.
00:18:24 You look so good. Oh, my gosh.
00:18:27 Do you look at yourself?
00:18:29 I totally wanna cut off your skin and
00:18:34 Yeah, listen, it's great to see you,
00:18:38 Okay, all right, I'm sorry.
00:18:41 -You gotta start skating again, Jimmy.
00:18:43 It's embarrassing stalking a has-been,
00:18:45 Look, I almost gave up on you.
00:18:47 I started working
00:18:49 you know the one that looks like Elvis?
00:18:50 And I moved to the Ukraine
00:18:52 and it was cold and everyone had guns
00:18:55 I sympathise with you, Hector.
00:18:59 I'm banned for life.
00:19:00 Don't be so sure.
00:19:02 Section 14, paragraph G,
00:19:05 "A lifetime ban is irrevocable
00:19:09 "compete in any
00:19:11 "that exists in such a skater's division."
00:19:15 You see? You're only banned
00:19:20 You can still compete in pairs skating.
00:19:23 Pairs.
00:19:30 How is this possible?
00:19:31 I had so many lawyers work on
00:19:35 Because nobody can obsess like I can.
00:19:38 Good luck, Jimmy.
00:19:43 And I'm still gonna kill you someday.
00:19:51 Oh, no! It's the evil wizard!
00:20:03 Hey, little forest creatures.
00:20:05 None of you sons-of-bitches
00:20:11 Hey, Chazz. Come on.
00:20:15 It's Gary. What are you doing?
00:20:17 Hey, everyone!
00:20:19 Now listen up.
00:20:22 We've been skating
00:20:24 I remember when we were hanging out
00:20:28 and Gary said, "I've got a third ball. "
00:20:32 Damn it. I just threw up in here, people.
00:20:36 That's the reality.
00:20:40 I am nothing but a human onion.
00:20:46 Ladies and gentlemen, Grublets on lce
00:20:49 No refunds will be given.
00:20:55 Bring it on! Let it rain down on me.
00:21:03 There's a loophole. I was banned
00:21:06 I can skate
00:21:08 I knew it. I knew after three years,
00:21:11 I mean, come on, I moved on, Jimmy.
00:21:13 But I'm a skater.
00:21:15 except for winning the gold again
00:21:18 You know how hard it is
00:21:21 Even if you did,
00:21:23 That's a month away.
00:21:24 I mean, sign-up is in two days.
00:21:26 It can't be that hard. I mean...
00:21:27 Figure skating. Give it up, Jimmy.
00:21:33 She'll seduce you
00:21:36 and then kick you to the side of the road
00:21:40 Forget it. I gotta go.
00:21:43 It's good to see you.
00:21:47 Wait, Coach!
00:22:07 Jimmy MacElroy?
00:22:09 Another great walking through the halls
00:22:13 Welcome to my little production.
00:22:15 If you're here to thank me for firing
00:22:17 Chazz was here?
00:22:18 Yeah, unfortunately,
00:22:23 And yes, no need to ask,
00:22:26 I'm not looking for a job.
00:22:28 I'm actually looking for a female skater
00:22:31 -Are you trying to skater poach?
00:22:34 You trying to break up my family?
00:22:36 Why don't you get out of here
00:22:43 Hey, where you going?
00:22:59 Michaels.
00:23:00 MacElroy.
00:23:02 I see you got fat.
00:23:03 I see you still look
00:23:05 You crushed my dreams.
00:23:06 Dreams? Shit.
00:23:08 Zip it, Chazz. Zip it or I will punch you
00:23:10 This ends tonight.
00:23:12 It's daytime, you douche.
00:23:16 -Now it's on!
00:23:23 Local figure skating fans got more than
00:23:26 when a children's ice show
00:23:29 between two former champions.
00:23:31 Jimmy MacElroy
00:23:34 once at the top of the skating world,
00:23:35 picked up today where they left off
00:23:55 Fans remember Michaels and MacElroy
00:23:58 in a bizarre turn of events,
00:23:59 became banned from competition
00:24:02 I had a chance to sit down
00:24:03 and let's just say, he's a complex man.
00:24:05 I'm a sex addict
00:24:26 Two men skating together?
00:24:30 -I don't see what's so funny.
00:24:34 Look, Coach, I know I said
00:24:38 Even if we wanted to,
00:24:40 But there's nothing in the rule book
00:24:42 That's not my style.
00:24:46 Okay?
00:24:50 Especially not a dude.
00:24:52 Especially not the precious
00:24:55 Would you just shut up? You don't know
00:24:57 I know more than you think I know.
00:24:58 Hell, I know more than you know
00:25:00 No, you don't. You could never keep up
00:25:02 That's why I floored you in '02
00:25:05 Technique doesn't get you 18 medals
00:25:06 and a Kristi Yamaguchi
00:25:08 -I am figure skating.
00:25:11 For three years I've been trying to get
00:25:14 I wasn't sure I'd ever forget it.
00:25:16 Now maybe underneath all your bullshit,
00:25:21 I don't know, Coach.
00:25:23 I mean, I'm really desperate
00:25:25 But what?
00:25:29 What's so funny, Cool Whip?
00:25:31 You getting a lot of satisfaction
00:25:34 I am never satisfied. It's a curse.
00:25:39 The registration for the National Finals
00:25:43 Now let me ask you boys a question.
00:25:46 Do you wanna make history?
00:25:52 No way.
00:25:55 I could hold it all day long. Try me.
00:25:56 -Maybe I will.
00:25:58 You challenging me, Princess?
00:25:59 I'm not inviting you to the Skating
00:26:01 -Then bring it on!
00:26:03 Good. We're in agreement then.
00:26:04 -What?
00:26:05 Welcome back to competitive skating,
00:26:09 I'll pick you up in the morning.
00:26:12 Little help.
00:26:22 Here we go. Show time.
00:26:26 Stranz. Fairchild. Melissa Kelly, ESPN2.
00:26:30 So, let me ask you,
00:26:32 And what does a new gold medal
00:26:34 It doesn't mean as much
00:26:36 That's very important to us.
00:26:38 Now we haven't seen you
00:26:39 What have you been up to?
00:26:40 Skating.
00:26:42 Now apparently you're dedicating
00:26:44 to the children of the world.
00:26:53 Sorry.
00:26:56 -Chazz, fill this out.
00:26:58 Yes.
00:26:59 I'll get yours, Jimmy.
00:27:01 Who is that girl?
00:27:02 You mean Katie Van Waldenberg?
00:27:04 She's Stranz and Fairchild's sister?
00:27:06 Fairchild's legs and Stranz's ass.
00:27:09 Mind bottling, isn't it?
00:27:11 -Did you just say "mind bottling?"
00:27:14 You know, when things are so crazy,
00:27:15 it gets your thoughts all trapped,
00:27:17 All right, boys.
00:27:23 What are you two doing here?
00:27:24 You know damn well I'm not letting
00:27:28 I'm not here to sign up
00:27:30 I'm here to sign up the pairs team
00:27:34 I'm here to sign up the pairs team
00:27:35 Thank you.
00:27:38 Now there's your front page headline.
00:27:41 Jimmy, can you wave to the fans?
00:27:44 So Jimmy and Chazz together
00:27:50 Two men skating together
00:27:54 Why, Stranz?
00:27:56 Why is God singling us out
00:27:58 for the greatest suffering
00:28:00 I don't know, sis. Those two are nothing
00:28:03 Yeah, and the media loves freaks.
00:28:05 Makes my blood boil.
00:28:06 And all they're doing is just leeching
00:28:09 You know, I'm not a violent person,
00:28:11 but I would like to hold them down
00:28:14 Guys, maybe,
00:28:17 people will forget all the hype
00:28:18 and they'll focus
00:28:21 and the spirit of honest competition.
00:28:26 You guys just want to cheat again,
00:28:28 -That's a good idea.
00:28:29 Katie, please,
00:28:32 I don't know how to turn it on.
00:28:34 No, I'm not spying for you again.
00:28:36 We're just asking you
00:28:39 Find someone else.
00:28:44 -What's that, Mother?
00:28:45 You and Father are sad
00:28:47 driving Katie to her ice skating lesson
00:28:50 Yeah. Me, too.
00:28:52 Remember how they used to be alive?
00:28:54 Papa?
00:28:56 I can't hear you, Papa.
00:28:59 Still? In heaven? You're still dead?
00:29:03 -Fine, I'll do it.
00:29:05 Now you're playing
00:29:13 All right.
00:29:20 You're gonna skate as a pair.
00:29:24 And if you're at all interested
00:29:26 you take off your shoes
00:29:31 Why would we step in baby food?
00:29:33 -He's talking about the carpet. Berber?
00:29:36 -Maybe I am.
00:29:38 -What does that even mean?
00:29:45 -Bunk beds?
00:29:48 I don't share shit.
00:29:53 It's dark for everyone, moron.
00:29:54 Not for Alaskans or dudes
00:29:57 All right, this is gonna stop right now.
00:29:59 From here on out, you guys are a team.
00:30:02 You are going to eat together,
00:30:03 You are going to pee together.
00:30:05 You're gonna file
00:30:07 Practice starts now. End of discussion.
00:30:20 I just put those into order.
00:30:22 I need some counter space, too.
00:30:27 -Mane n' Tail. Is this horse shampoo?
00:30:30 -Do you use this stuff on your hair?
00:30:34 "For a lustrous coat."
00:30:38 You bet your ass it does.
00:30:39 It makes my hair shine like Orion's belt
00:30:45 And then I brush my hair
00:30:52 Cool brush.
00:30:53 Not just a brush but a Verticoli.
00:30:57 Handmade in ltaly.
00:31:00 They only make 11of them a year.
00:31:02 This one cost me $12,000
00:31:08 Perfectly balanced, low drag,
00:31:11 How minimal?
00:31:13 I bet you'd like to know.
00:31:16 Help yourself to the Mane n' Tail
00:31:18 but don't even look at the Verticoli.
00:31:20 'Cause I will knock your block off.
00:31:22 No exaggeration,
00:31:24 I could not love a human baby
00:31:33 I call top.
00:31:34 -Sorry, I already called it in my head.
00:31:38 Yes, it does. Get used to it, Jimmy.
00:31:43 You're in Chazz's world now.
00:31:46 You know what?
00:31:47 You do not get shotgun every time.
00:31:50 What is this place? It smells like fish.
00:31:53 Sweet.
00:31:56 This ice has not been
00:31:58 -And where's the warm-down room?
00:32:00 What we got is a cold storage unit
00:32:02 that a buddy of mine let me flood
00:32:05 Nice choice, Coach.
00:32:07 Turned out well.
00:32:09 The dance lift, the press lift,
00:32:13 the side by side jump, the throw jump.
00:32:16 All of these are weapons
00:32:18 And used properly,
00:32:21 Used improperly,
00:32:25 All right, gentlemen, waltz position.
00:32:38 You know what, dude,
00:32:40 No way. The girl's goes on top.
00:32:41 Yeah. Ergo. Chick.
00:32:43 I'm not the girl. I'm stronger.
00:32:44 No, I'm stronger
00:32:46 You are not stronger.
00:32:48 Fat ass?
00:32:49 It doesn't really matter,
00:32:51 One guy, you put your, just...
00:32:53 See that?
00:32:55 Jimmy, get off your hands.
00:32:57 You're gonna need those later.
00:32:59 All right.
00:33:00 Okay, you know what?
00:33:02 Chazz. Chazz.
00:33:03 You think you're so tough. Huh?
00:33:07 -Chazz, put your skates back on.
00:33:10 -Look, I'm like lightning.
00:33:12 What are you doing?
00:33:14 -Yeah. God, that burns.
00:33:17 Jimmy, you put your clothes on. Jimmy!
00:33:19 -Damn it!
00:33:21 -Do it.
00:33:22 It's not gonna matter
00:33:41 You're the girl.
00:33:42 -What?
00:33:44 -Wait. Why?
00:33:47 And no one can lift your fat ass.
00:33:50 -What are you talking about?
00:33:53 Is this about my muscular, thick thighs?
00:33:56 Could one of you all pass me a biscuit?
00:33:59 You got another five miles,
00:34:02 Come on.
00:34:05 So, Coach, I was thinking
00:34:08 -Really?
00:34:09 one song only.
00:34:12 What you gonna do with all that junk
00:34:16 I'm gonna get you, get you drunk
00:34:19 My hump, my hump
00:34:22 I'm not skating to anything
00:34:25 I don't even know what that means.
00:34:26 No one knows what it means,
00:34:29 -No, it's not. It's gross.
00:34:31 That's enough!
00:34:46 You didn't see shit!
00:34:48 -Coach!
00:34:56 Throw me some chicken!
00:34:59 Two men.
00:35:01 Together. You're really gonna go
00:35:03 Oh, yeah, of course. Why not?
00:35:04 I mean, I need your help.
00:35:06 Look, I'm just a choreographer.
00:35:09 Bring them
00:35:11 -Great!
00:35:12 I ain't making no promises.
00:35:13 I'm just saying
00:35:16 Your problem is your boundaries.
00:35:19 Out on my dance floor you won't know
00:35:20 where one man's body ends
00:35:22 Because if you can't dance with a man,
00:35:25 All right? So come on, let's go.
00:35:28 Jimmy.
00:35:30 Yeah.
00:35:32 That's what I thought.
00:35:33 That a boy, Jimmy. Come on.
00:35:36 Okay. Break it down.
00:35:40 Okay. That's a start. That is a start.
00:36:09 You're tensing your face.
00:36:10 you're gonna make it harder
00:36:12 Just enable...
00:36:19 Rewind it.
00:36:29 No. No, no.
00:36:33 Beautiful butterfly into a prayer.
00:36:40 Let them get it out. Let them get it out.
00:36:42 Chazz, release to Jimmy.
00:36:48 -Yes.
00:37:05 You nailed it!
00:37:06 Yes, I did. See that? Pure power.
00:37:10 Maybe if you released me
00:37:12 I wouldn't have to save your ass
00:37:14 It's called improvisation.
00:37:17 Well, at least they're getting
00:37:19 Yeah, but can they do it in front of
00:37:26 Denver, Colorado, last stop on the road
00:37:29 to the World Wintersport Games
00:37:31 The finest skaters from all over
00:37:34 for years for their chance
00:37:37 But all those stories
00:37:39 by what many dub
00:37:42 The male-male pair of Jimmy MacElroy
00:37:46 The anxiety was palpable
00:37:48 as the skating community
00:37:52 Those two are turning this sport
00:37:54 As if figure skating
00:37:56 Let me show you something.
00:38:00 Nothing in here about two men skating.
00:38:02 That blonde chick's a dude? Oh, man.
00:38:06 Now let's join Stranz
00:38:09 as they wind up their routine,
00:38:11 an edgy look at urban culture
00:38:16 And boy, look at them!
00:38:19 The bling is king. This pair
00:38:26 Come on! Come on!
00:38:36 Wow! Flawless, as always.
00:38:39 These two blue-eyed funk machines
00:38:41 popping and locking their way
00:38:45 And those good vibrations seem
00:38:47 to have spread all the way
00:38:52 What, what!
00:38:58 You guys are up.
00:39:00 And now the moment
00:39:02 And how is this going to work?
00:39:04 Completely different skaters,
00:39:08 combining to be the first male-male
00:39:13 Either the locked-in technical style
00:39:16 will not mesh
00:39:19 or they create great music together
00:39:21 and reinvent the sport
00:39:28 They're laughing at us.
00:39:30 They laughed at Louis Armstrong when
00:39:33 Now he's up there laughing at them.
00:39:40 Well, they titled this routine
00:39:44 They've always been that way
00:39:47 and now as a pair team?
00:39:49 So appropriate.
00:40:40 So far, so good.
00:40:48 Their first move's so difficult.
00:40:51 First throw.
00:40:54 Man down.
00:40:55 What an unbelievably disastrous
00:41:00 I've never fallen once in competition.
00:41:02 Come on. T ake my hand.
00:41:05 We can do this.
00:41:09 And they're up.
00:41:10 Come on, Denver, get off your asses!
00:41:13 Let's go!
00:41:15 And the crowd responds.
00:41:16 It's the first time they've shown them
00:41:23 Side by side double Axels!
00:41:30 And again, a male-male pair team.
00:41:32 They're doing things
00:41:49 Incredible!
00:42:04 So many moves in this programme
00:42:15 Yes!
00:42:25 Unbelievable finish
00:42:27 And they've won this crowd over!
00:42:32 Yes!
00:42:34 This might be enough
00:42:37 as the first male-male representatives
00:42:42 History in the making.
00:42:55 Yeah!
00:43:04 We love you, Denver!
00:43:07 City by the bay! John Denver!
00:43:13 -Was the fire really necessary?
00:43:19 -That's what I'm talking about!
00:43:25 What up, homes?
00:43:30 You guys were great out there.
00:43:32 Thanks. I'm Jimmy.
00:43:34 I know. Katie.
00:43:36 I know.
00:43:41 I like your buttons.
00:43:44 Jimmy, come on. The scores are up.
00:43:46 -Good luck.
00:43:48 Did you see that?
00:43:50 Yeah, they were really good. Way to go.
00:43:52 None of what they did
00:43:53 That's all right.
00:43:55 Into our head?
00:43:57 we let down the Funky Bunch.
00:43:59 ...5.9, 5.9, 5.8, 6.0!
00:44:02 -Yes! Yes!
00:44:03 We're going to Montreal, bitch!
00:44:07 Well, it's all smiles
00:44:09 You're the guys everybody's
00:44:12 You know, we're just so grateful
00:44:16 to be out here on the ice again...
00:44:17 Michaels and MacElroy are a freight
00:44:20 We're going straight up
00:44:25 I'm not gonna say wow, but wow!
00:44:27 They got by on 97 percent adrenaline
00:44:31 If they wanna take home the gold,
00:44:35 Robert, I know where this is going.
00:44:36 How many times
00:44:39 Till I get it right.
00:44:43 I'm not gonna spend the rest of my life
00:44:50 Top of the morning. And it is a beaut.
00:44:55 Do you mind? I'm trying to eat here.
00:44:58 Just thought you'd like to see
00:45:01 Go ahead, drink it in. Don't be shy.
00:45:04 Looking's for free.
00:45:11 Checking out my ink?
00:45:13 Some people refer to me
00:00:04 Really? So, what's that one about?
00:00:10 That one represents the dragon lady.
00:00:14 That's Michelle Kwan, most decorated
00:00:18 -You tapped that?
00:00:21 But perfection can drive a woman mad.
00:00:23 She was ready to quit,
00:00:25 settle down and pop out
00:00:29 I couldn't let her do it, not the way I roll.
00:00:32 So, what's that one with the horse?
00:00:35 My blonde Ukrainian she-devil.
00:00:37 Not Oksana Baiul?
00:00:39 At 16, she won the gold, turned pro,
00:00:42 and was named one of Barbara Walters'
00:00:45 Yeah. But don't let her fool you.
00:00:50 She's like dry ice.
00:00:53 -What's colder than dry ice?
00:00:56 I'll tell you what is. Oksana.
00:01:02 What about that one on your shoulder?
00:01:06 That one? It's nothing.
00:01:09 What about you? You got any tats?
00:01:11 I had my face painted
00:01:14 Seems about right.
00:01:16 Well, I could have one.
00:01:21 I have a crush on the enemy,
00:01:24 Good choice, my man.
00:01:25 Yeah. How's that for forbidden love?
00:01:27 I have no idea, but I'd like to find out.
00:01:31 -Wait. What are you doing?
00:01:33 -I can't do that. It's crazy.
00:01:35 What am I supposed to say?
00:01:36 -No, you can't. I can't.
00:01:42 -Sorry.
00:01:46 Van Waldenberg Companies.
00:01:47 Talk. Relax.
00:01:50 Hi. It's Jimmy MacElroy. Is Katie there?
00:01:54 It's MacElroy, for her.
00:01:55 What? For me? Why?
00:01:57 -I can't do it.
00:01:59 Stranz?
00:02:03 Hello?
00:02:04 Okay. "Yo. It's the Mac attack.
00:02:08 Yo. Hi. It's the Mac attack. What up?
00:02:11 Okay. Say, "Oh, my, you're just
00:02:15 -Sell yourself.
00:02:18 You know, you just caught me
00:02:20 -She just got out of the shower.
00:02:22 -I have to call her back. This is so rude.
00:02:24 -She's gonna hear you.
00:02:27 "l gotta get me one of those
00:02:30 "doing my squat thrusts."
00:02:33 I gotta...
00:02:35 'cause I just got back from the gym
00:02:38 "Squat thrusts must be hard, real hard."
00:02:42 Squat thrusts are hard.
00:02:43 -"Real hard."
00:02:45 "They're hard, all right. But it's worth it
00:02:50 It's worth it to get a deep burn
00:02:54 "You know
00:02:57 "Pour some sweet cream on it."
00:02:59 Do you know
00:03:02 Pour sweet cream on it.
00:03:04 Oh, my God, you've bagged a wild lynx.
00:03:06 Okay, say, "Sounds to me like
00:03:08 and then go...
00:03:12 I was wondering if you wanted
00:03:15 What?
00:03:17 Yeah. I would like to get a snow cone.
00:03:20 I haven't had a snow cone
00:03:22 No, you have to be sexy.
00:03:23 Say you want a snow boner.
00:03:25 8:00 tonight. That sounds great.
00:03:27 It will
00:03:31 Okay. Well, I'll see you.
00:03:34 What happened? What's the word?
00:03:37 8:00 tonight. We did it!
00:03:39 Oh, my God!
00:03:41 Nice lift.
00:03:45 All right, listen up. You guys barely
00:03:48 How are we gonna compete
00:03:50 that have been doing this for years?
00:03:52 There's only one way.
00:03:53 Okay. What do you guys have
00:03:58 -Twin dongs?
00:03:59 We have to do something
00:04:02 Something never seen before.
00:04:05 Jesse, put in the tape.
00:04:08 Come on. Put in the tape, Jesse.
00:04:17 Thank you.
00:04:19 Jimmy, I never told you this before,
00:04:24 I was on track
00:04:26 I wanted it badly,
00:04:29 A move the likes of which the world
00:04:33 A move so revolutionary, so dangerous
00:04:37 that it would have catapulted the team
00:04:43 And like many revolutionary ideas,
00:04:44 it just scared the shit
00:04:48 So I quit.
00:04:50 And I took it to the one place on earth
00:04:56 North Korea.
00:04:57 Of course.
00:04:58 Behind the Bamboo Curtain, they call it
00:05:03 "The lron Lotus."
00:05:12 Look at the grace, the beauty.
00:05:15 They almost have it, until...
00:05:20 Oh, my gosh.
00:05:26 Okay.
00:05:28 -Are you nuts?
00:05:31 Come on, what are you talking about?
00:05:32 See, after all these years,
00:05:35 The physics were off.
00:05:36 It was a man and a woman,
00:05:39 You're two men. You should be fine.
00:05:43 Be warned.
00:05:46 She has no time for lone wolves, Chazz.
00:05:48 Jimmy, you've gotta be willing
00:05:51 You two are the last pieces
00:05:53 Go on! Fit them together!
00:06:00 Keep your speed up.
00:06:03 Keep it up!
00:06:06 Jimmy! Don't let your legs buckle!
00:06:09 Come on, Chazz, focus! Focus!
00:06:19 My nut-sack!
00:06:21 You gotta be careful, man.
00:06:24 Oh, yeah? Well...
00:06:25 Well, well, yeah, you're right.
00:06:30 Sorry.
00:06:32 Look, I didn't mean to drag your balls
00:06:35 That was uncalled for.
00:06:39 All right, gentlemen,
00:06:49 Let's do this.
00:06:58 This was my favourite place growing up.
00:07:00 By the way, you look really nice.
00:07:02 Oh, really?
00:07:06 Oh, thanks.
00:07:08 Foy, can I have another blue one?
00:07:11 You guys were so good at Nationals,
00:07:15 -They wanted me to spy on you.
00:07:19 Is that why you're going out
00:07:20 No!
00:07:23 Really.
00:07:24 I don't care if they win.
00:07:28 I mean, really,
00:07:31 It's basically just gliding,
00:07:33 with a couple of jumps thrown in, right?
00:07:36 And Spandex and glitter. Egos.
00:07:40 Ice blows.
00:07:44 Sorry.
00:07:46 But it's not the ice.
00:07:50 Out there, I feel like I can do anything.
00:07:54 It's the only place
00:07:59 You've never skated?
00:08:01 When I was a kid, a little.
00:08:02 But my brother and sister
00:08:05 My life was nothing but focus.
00:08:07 You know what I got
00:08:09 A six-pack of protein shakes
00:08:13 I didn't have a tenth birthday.
00:08:14 My sister told all my friends
00:08:17 When I was nine, my dad insisted
00:08:20 to minimise wind resistance.
00:08:22 While driving me to skating practice,
00:08:26 My brother and sister
00:08:27 and they force me to work for them
00:08:50 Wow.
00:08:51 I never really thought of that
00:09:05 So, how'd it go with your lady?
00:09:09 All right, ladies, tea party's over.
00:09:12 We got two days till Montreal.
00:09:22 Okay, try it again.
00:09:24 You're gonna kill him! Watch the blade!
00:09:27 Come on!
00:09:32 Try it again!
00:09:38 One more. I'm really close.
00:09:47 Hello, and welcome, everyone,
00:09:51 here in beautiful Montreal, Canada.
00:09:55 The world turns its eyes
00:09:58 as the globe's finest athletes
00:10:01 and to revel in the glory that is sport.
00:10:04 And so, now we are honoured
00:10:08 and spectacle of these,
00:10:19 Didn't you once say, and I quote,
00:10:21 "Jimmy MacElroy
00:10:24 -He would never say such a...
00:10:27 But I was referring
00:10:30 If they'd published
00:10:32 They did publish the rest of your quote.
00:10:35 "I've had lint at the top of my ass crack
00:10:37 "with more personality
00:10:40 All right,
00:10:43 You figured out how to work
00:10:47 Well, here's a new quote for you,
00:10:48 Chazz Michaels and Jimmy MacElroy
00:10:52 Boom!
00:10:55 Jimmy! Has pairs skating
00:10:59 Absolutely.
00:11:01 I mean,
00:11:09 No, that's in the other room.
00:11:20 Boom.
00:11:23 Nice.
00:11:25 Great! Press loves them,
00:11:28 Stranz!
00:11:29 So, Katie, it looks like your date
00:11:33 What? I guess so. Why?
00:11:36 No reason. I was just wondering
00:11:38 -Yeah, we had snow cones...
00:11:41 We want you to turn your attention
00:11:43 What?
00:11:44 MacElroy's heart is like
00:11:47 and now you need to bite it.
00:11:49 -Nothing breaks up a team faster than...
00:11:52 Jealousy.
00:11:54 No. I'm not gonna make
00:11:56 fall in love with me.
00:11:57 Who's talking about love?
00:11:59 What? No!
00:12:02 Come on, Katie.
00:12:05 The honourable thing is to walk away
00:12:08 Okay. Stranz, let her go. It's okay.
00:12:13 We'll just move on to Plan B.
00:12:16 -What's Plan B?
00:12:18 You stood your ground. Good for you.
00:12:21 But if something should happen
00:12:24 I don't know, under his knee,
00:12:27 At least you did the honourable thing.
00:12:35 -Where're you going?
00:12:39 -"Turn weakness into strength."
00:12:41 Thanks, brother man.
00:12:44 See ya!
00:12:48 This must be for you.
00:13:01 So glad you're all here.
00:13:03 Okay, let's get started.
00:13:06 Chazz, would you like
00:13:10 I was just trying to find some peace.
00:13:13 A haven,
00:13:16 And then what happened?
00:13:19 Well, she was my yoga instructor.
00:13:24 So I knew she was limber.
00:13:26 But, Chazz, you realise this would just
00:13:30 and further hurt your progress
00:13:33 in maintaining control over your libido,
00:13:35 Yes. Thank you, Taylor.
00:13:38 Definitely.
00:13:40 Until her friend, a massage therapist,
00:13:46 Easy, Chazz.
00:13:47 With a big bottle of canola oil
00:13:48 and a monkey who was trained
00:13:52 And she rocked my world.
00:13:54 Guys!
00:13:56 Chazz, I have asked you to leave before
00:14:00 Taylor, come on, man.
00:14:01 Let's just move on.
00:14:04 Syphilis, gonorrhoea, et cetera.
00:14:08 Hi. I'm sorry I'm late. I was
00:14:12 having sex. A lot.
00:14:14 Welcome. Welcome.
00:14:16 Why don't you go ahead
00:14:19 I know her.
00:14:20 I'm Katie.
00:14:22 And?
00:14:23 Oh, and I'm a sex addict.
00:14:25 Hi, Katie.
00:14:27 Hey, Katie.
00:14:29 Wow, so, you're a sex addict, too.
00:14:32 Sex, sex, sex. What can I say?
00:14:34 Right. Right. I mean, you said it all.
00:14:38 I mean, people don't realise what
00:14:41 Why don't you come to my room tonight
00:14:44 1 1 :55 sharp.
00:14:49 Come on, people, break it up!
00:15:01 God grant me the serenity not
00:15:05 the courage to go home tonight without
00:15:09 and the wisdom
00:15:10 is sometimes
00:15:13 Yeah. Okay.
00:15:19 Oh, sweet Jesus.
00:15:20 You're right on time. Come in.
00:15:28 Would you like some champagne?
00:15:29 No, I can't, l...
00:15:32 Actually I just came by 'cause
00:15:34 What?
00:15:35 Do you have a bathrobe or a parka
00:15:38 Sorry. I'm hot.
00:15:41 Wouldn't you feel more comfortable
00:15:43 saying what you need to say
00:15:46 Probably not.
00:15:47 It's a Posturepedic.
00:15:49 Well, then, in that case,
00:15:52 so might as well try it.
00:15:55 Okay, here it goes.
00:15:57 I know that sex,
00:16:01 Oh, God, they feel so good.
00:16:03 Oh, God, this is so wrong.
00:16:04 Jimmy's my friend.
00:16:06 Wait. Do you really mean that?
00:16:07 Yes, I think so. No.
00:16:10 Yes, I do. I do.
00:16:13 Thank God.
00:16:14 -Oh, God, what a relief.
00:16:16 He's got a heart of gold.
00:16:19 You sex demon! You, you sex fiend!
00:16:23 No, you got it all wrong.
00:16:25 Impure! Impure!
00:16:28 -Jimmy, wait!
00:16:29 -Nothing happened!
00:16:33 Wait! Jimmy!
00:16:35 -Get away!
00:16:38 Damn it.
00:16:43 Come on, pick up. Come on, buddy.
00:16:45 Hey, it's Jimmy.
00:16:48 Jimmy, it's me, Chazz.
00:16:50 Look, what happened back there,
00:16:53 Just think of it as like a boob handshake
00:16:58 Look, that's not coming out right.
00:17:02 It's me, Chazz.
00:17:04 I'm committed to this thing
00:17:06 And I ain't going nowhere.
00:17:07 And if you think I'm going anywhere,
00:17:10 Because I will not back down, ever!
00:17:12 I've won a lot of radio contests,
00:17:16 If we went to a Halloween party dressed
00:17:20 That's how much you mean to me.
00:17:22 That was stupid that I said that.
00:17:24 I don't think that's stupid.
00:17:27 Hey, turd-face, guess what?
00:17:28 I've taken every single one
00:17:30 and I've stuffed them down my pants.
00:17:32 Hey, yikes. Sorry.
00:17:36 For about a month,
00:17:42 Don't wanna close my eyes
00:17:45 Don't wanna fall asleep
00:17:50 And I don't wanna miss a thing
00:17:54 So call me back now!
00:18:00 It's Jimmy.
00:18:03 Hey, it's me again. Jimmy, please,
00:18:10 Wow! Nice work.
00:18:15 Scene of the crime.
00:18:17 For your information,
00:18:19 Fine. "Make love." Whatever.
00:18:21 I didn't sleep with Chazz.
00:18:22 -What?
00:18:24 -I feel as slimy as if I had.
00:18:27 To make this right!
00:18:30 You would do that to your own family?
00:18:31 Don't give me that guilt trip.
00:18:33 After all we've done for you?
00:18:36 Mom and Dad
00:18:38 and they made
00:18:43 Come on, Katie, don't go.
00:18:45 Look, it's up to us, okay?
00:18:48 We are forced to take Michaels and
00:18:52 That might require some bad behaviour.
00:18:56 Hello, and welcome to day three
00:19:00 The best Chinese and Russian pairs
00:19:03 setting up
00:19:06 Just two pairs remain. Both American.
00:19:11 And it's come down to this.
00:19:15 The big story here is
00:19:16 the men's pairs figure skating team
00:19:19 These same-gendered sensations
00:19:21 centre ice in the hearts of
00:19:24 They've literally taken this sport
00:19:31 Jimmy.
00:19:32 Jimmy's here at the arena, you ass.
00:19:36 He's been staring at a pack of gum
00:19:39 I'm on my way.
00:19:46 Taxi!
00:19:53 World Wintersport Games.
00:19:59 -Hey, Stranz.
00:20:03 Skaters, please clear the ice
00:20:20 Thank you so much.
00:20:23 Oh, my gosh. Can you...
00:20:26 Sorry, Chazz. Nothing personal.
00:20:31 Actually, it's quite the opposite.
00:20:33 See, your days of
00:20:40 You crazy bastard!
00:20:50 Damn it.
00:20:58 What are you doing?
00:21:03 You are evil. Pure evil!
00:21:05 Your whole family's evil! Your brother.
00:21:08 And most of all, your sister.
00:21:09 Don't even think about putting us
00:21:12 If she was half the woman I was,
00:21:14 and slept with your partner
00:21:16 -She didn't?
00:21:18 She couldn't, because of you.
00:21:21 I don't get it.
00:21:24 Gross. Get me out of here!
00:21:46 Whoever invented rope
00:21:49 I'm late, sis.
00:21:55 Oh, crap.
00:22:01 Okay.
00:22:05 Who's gonna save you now, Chazz?
00:22:07 Is Little Lord MacElroy gonna come
00:22:25 Oh, great.
00:22:39 Hey, there!
00:22:41 What are you doing there?
00:22:44 Stranger danger! Stranger danger!
00:22:47 No, please!
00:23:09 Let's do it, Chazz!
00:23:11 All right, Stranz.
00:23:28 Beautiful.
00:23:31 I'm coming, Chazz.
00:24:24 Give me your hand.
00:24:26 -I won't hurt you.
00:24:28 Damn it, Stranz.
00:24:30 Have you seen Jimmy?
00:24:32 Oh, yeah. He was here a minute ago.
00:24:34 And if you find him, would you tell him
00:24:44 I really appreciate this.
00:24:46 That man who's chasing us
00:25:13 Who are you supposed to be anyway?
00:25:17 JFK.
00:25:20 -It's gonna make sense.
00:25:25 That's lame.
00:25:31 Try to get through that!
00:25:39 Don't make me kill her.
00:25:52 Snowflake!
00:26:35 From the United States,
00:26:36 the pairs team of
00:26:41 So, the favourites,
00:26:45 now taking the ice.
00:26:46 As Marilyn Monroe and JFK,
00:26:48 they'll be dramatising
00:26:51 I take pride in the words,
00:27:10 Calling for preparation on ice
00:27:12 of Michaels and MacElroy.
00:27:16 Well, that was an interesting take
00:27:19 Indeed. I think it's worth noting,
00:27:21 the fantastic attention to detail
00:27:24 An absolutely seamless use of props
00:27:28 that is both physically impressive
00:27:31 A rare ballet of ice and history.
00:27:34 And those scores keep Stranz
00:27:38 but Michaels and MacElroy are up next.
00:27:40 Coach! Coach! Did I make it in time?
00:27:44 Where the hell you been?
00:27:45 Your partner's not here in 30 seconds,
00:27:48 I know, I know.
00:27:50 We're finished. Done. That's it. It's over.
00:27:55 Coach, he'll be here.
00:28:08 Skaters to the ice.
00:28:10 Twenty seconds to disqualification.
00:28:13 Jimmy MacElroy stands alone
00:28:16 And you have to wonder
00:28:19 Well, this is Rice without Montana.
00:28:23 Ali without Frazier.
00:28:27 Jimmy!
00:28:32 Hey, Jimmy! Jimmy!
00:28:34 Chazz!
00:28:36 Hey, I didn't sleep with Katie!
00:28:39 -I know!
00:28:42 Well, maybe I did.
00:28:44 What I felt in my pants
00:28:47 Okay, we can discuss that later!
00:28:48 You kind of have to be down here
00:28:49 or we're gonna be disqualified!
00:28:51 Katie is not a whore!
00:28:53 Okay, I get it! Just stop talking!
00:28:56 Okay! Okay!
00:28:57 -Skaters to the ice.
00:28:59 Ten seconds to disqualification.
00:29:05 Wow.
00:29:13 Yeah!
00:29:22 Wow! A dramatic entrance
00:29:26 I'm okay!
00:29:29 I'm all right!
00:29:33 I'm okay.
00:29:40 And there's another
00:29:42 Out of his clothes in a hurry
00:29:46 And women's skating champion
00:29:47 Sasha Cohen
00:29:49 I love you, Chazz!
00:29:58 -I made it.
00:30:01 Let's capture the dream.
00:30:02 Capture the... I love it.
00:30:05 -I have no idea where I came up with it.
00:30:07 -Let's kick some ice.
00:30:14 Well, Scott, the boys seem to be
00:30:17 Fitting, considering these two men
00:30:21 Well, I'll tell you something, Jim.
00:30:22 It's like these two men did
00:30:25 to flip this sport inside out.
00:30:33 The lights are on and so is this crowd.
00:30:35 A Mr Roboto to start the routine.
00:30:40 And they hit it beautifully!
00:30:44 Everything they do
00:30:47 Everything they do
00:30:50 Side-by-side skate clashes.
00:31:02 And more sparks!
00:31:04 No other pair in the world could do this!
00:31:06 Fireworks display in Montreal.
00:31:08 Incredible.
00:31:15 What are you doing?
00:31:16 We're freestyling.
00:31:19 We didn't practise that.
00:31:20 Do it for Katie.
00:31:37 Michaels and MacElroy
00:31:40 These guys put the "bone" in Zamboni.
00:31:43 It's over.
00:31:45 All the endorsements, everything gone.
00:31:46 Oh, my God, I can't get a real job.
00:31:48 God, I have to do everything
00:32:04 A serious stumble
00:32:06 Perfection's what they need if
00:32:09 -I think I broke my ankle.
00:32:11 I'm gonna put some weight on it to see.
00:32:16 I don't know, Scott.
00:32:20 are gonna win these judges over.
00:32:21 -What the hell are they doing?
00:32:23 I can't do the Lotus
00:32:26 I'm just a man, for God's sake.
00:32:29 We'll switch places.
00:32:31 I swear to God, if you cut my head off.
00:32:36 They're going for the lron Lotus,
00:32:38 My God.
00:32:43 They're picking up speed
00:32:46 Looks like
00:32:48 I have never seen done.
00:32:50 It is the fabled Iron Lotus.
00:32:52 No! Don't do it! I was wrong!
00:33:38 And they nail it!
00:33:41 This crowd is going wild!
00:33:44 I never thought I'd see it with
00:33:48 A historic event here in Montreal.
00:33:51 Michaels and MacElroy
00:33:55 Scott, I seem to have wet my pants.
00:33:57 Chazz, Chazz. We did it!
00:33:59 -Did we win?
00:34:02 I think I see the Virgin Mary.
00:34:04 No. That's not her.
00:34:10 We got you, Mr Michaels. Let's go.
00:34:15 -Oh, I don't wanna die.
00:34:16 -I don't wanna die.
00:34:20 I'm gonna have to cut your pants off.
00:34:21 Okay, but start up near the crotch.
00:34:37 You were incredible.
00:34:38 Really?
00:34:46 You've been practising.
00:34:48 Chazz taught me some stuff.
00:35:03 Stranz Van Waldenberg.
00:35:04 You're under arrest for the desecration
00:35:08 Snowflake.
00:35:11 -lt was her idea. She broke his ankle!
00:35:14 You idiot!
00:35:16 I hate you.
00:35:24 Come on now. Let's get out of here.
00:35:26 And that's why I was a sex addict.
00:35:28 Because no one ever loved me.
00:35:31 But I learned something here today.
00:35:33 That ice doesn't belong here.
00:35:37 It belongs out there.
00:35:39 Out on the ice in an ice rink.
00:35:44 I never had a father, okay?
00:35:46 But I don't care!
00:35:48 Because now I've got a brother.
00:35:52 This is my brother!
00:35:54 And this is my brother's new girlfriend.
00:35:59 And she is not a whore.
00:36:02 I'm in a lot of pain.
00:36:04 Chazz, they got to get you to a hospital.
00:36:07 No. And miss the smell of sweet gold?
00:36:12 Not on your life.
00:36:26 Thank you.
00:36:29 Jimmy, you did it!
00:36:33 I wanna wear the gold medal, naked.
00:36:36 Thank you.
00:36:45 I've got something I wanna show you.
00:36:52 That's you,
00:36:56 So that the Lone Wolf
00:36:59 That's how much you mean to me, bro.
00:37:01 You were drunk when you got it,
00:37:03 Yes. Absolutely hammered.
00:37:06 -Welcome to the pack.
00:37:09 Let's get outta here.
00:37:11 -Now?
00:38:59 USA!
00:39:01 The gold medal has been won
00:39:04 thanks to Hector's idea!
00:39:07 We did it, Hector!
00:39:08 Boom! We sure did.
00:39:11 Thank you, Hector. He did it for us.
00:39:14 Where is Hector?
00:39:15 Here I am, guys. We did it. High-fives.
00:39:18 Cool. Way to go, guys. Gold medal.
00:39:21 You guys are the best. Hey, Jimmy?
00:39:24 Yeah, Hector?
00:39:26 Can you give me a time-out here
00:39:28 Yeah, sure. Are you crying?
00:39:30 No. I'm fine.
00:39:32 Okay. I'll go over here. Sandwich.
00:39:36 Hey. Chazz?
00:39:38 What is it? Boom.
00:39:40 I just wanna say
00:39:43 I've been friends with him forever,
00:39:45 and you take good care of him.
00:39:47 I will. Boom.
00:39:49 He just, he loves food.
00:39:51 And he likes dreams and whispers
00:39:54 and his favourite movie is Short Circuit
00:39:56 and Fried Green Tomatoes.
00:39:58 And just watch over him. All right?
00:40:01 I will. Boom.
00:40:04 God bless you.
00:40:06 Sweet. Jimmy, you can come back.
00:40:09 What you guys were talking about?
00:40:11 Just stuff, you know.
00:40:13 Hey, guys, you're amazing.
00:40:15 I just wanna say keep dreaming
00:40:18 because there's a lot of dreams
00:40:20 USA.
00:40:24 USA.