Bob the Butler

en
00:00:01 - I am the matriarch
00:00:04 taking on the ultimate challenge:
00:00:07 The perfect family meal.
00:00:08 - I understand, Mama Clara.
00:00:11 is traditionally a gateway
00:00:15 - In understand, Mama Clara.
00:00:17 you solve problems.
00:00:20 - But that is what happens
00:00:22 and leave you in charge
00:00:25 - Well, give me another chance.
00:00:27 - Ahhh!
00:00:30 - Bob, you're no uncle
00:00:32 Cute names are company policy,
00:00:35 Just feel-good stuff
00:00:37 - But we're family!
00:00:39 - UH!
00:00:41 - Dad!
00:00:42 - Ahhhhh!
00:00:44 - Dad!
00:00:45 We're family!
00:00:49 There's a difference!
00:01:00 [Sirens wailing]
00:01:06 Time was drifted
00:01:10 So I hit the road
00:01:15 Restless feeling
00:01:16 Really got a hold
00:01:20 I started searching
00:01:26 But I kept on looking for a sign
00:01:29 But I couldn't see the light
00:01:31 No, no, no, stop, stop, stop!
00:01:34 Ahhhhh!
00:01:35 To take me through the night
00:01:39 I couldn't get it right
00:01:41 Help!
00:01:44 - Grab on to this rope here!
00:01:47 Pull it.
00:01:49 Ahhhh!
00:01:51 Made me feel alright
00:01:54 But I must admit
00:01:58 Hi, people.
00:01:59 Getting down so deep
00:02:03 Oh, save the fishes!
00:02:04 Now I can't get back
00:02:11 But I kept on looking for a sign
00:02:14 But I couldn't see the light
00:02:19 [monkey screeching]
00:02:20 To take me
00:02:24 Couldn't get it right
00:02:28 I'm an astronaut, I'm a ballerina!
00:02:30 [Babies crying]
00:02:44 Shave, shave, shave...
00:02:46 - Sorry.
00:02:48 New York City
00:02:50 Took me with the tide
00:02:53 And I nearly died
00:02:58 Left me stranded
00:03:00 Took away my pride
00:03:02 Just another no-account fatality
00:03:06 Ahhhh!
00:03:09 Looking for a sign
00:03:12 But I couldn't see the light
00:03:14 No I couldn't see the light
00:03:17 - Huh, I'm gonna need
00:03:22 It's not a big deal, Rascal.
00:03:24 We're only on the Bs, remember.
00:03:26 [Rascal squeaking]
00:03:28 Okay, so we did burger assistant.
00:03:32 business consulting.
00:03:33 Butcher?
00:03:36 Oh, whoa.
00:03:39 Listen.
00:03:40 "Cosmopolitan Butler School
00:03:44 Become part of a family
00:03:46 Rascal,
00:03:48 We're going butling.
00:04:02 [Scooter backfires repeatedly]
00:04:16 - Do you think
00:04:21 - Nine-thirty?
00:04:25 - Good morning, students.
00:04:27 [All]: Good morning, sir.
00:04:29 - Two lines, please.
00:04:30 Chop, chop!
00:04:33 My name is Butler.
00:04:35 I'm a born butler
00:04:38 I come from a long line of butlers.
00:04:40 In only five days,
00:04:42 you will each receive
00:04:45 to wait on any family
00:04:49 For those that are interested,
00:04:51 the full English course
00:04:55 Standards are slightly higher.
00:04:56 So, what does a butler...
00:04:59 do? Hmm?
00:05:02 Answer: Everything.
00:05:04 He must cook, clean,
00:05:07 groom the horses,
00:05:10 Arrange appointments,
00:05:13 buy groceries, pack cases,
00:05:17 make reservations,
00:05:19 and still find time
00:05:23 Understood?
00:05:26 - Yes, sir!
00:05:29 - Grooming is crucial to the role.
00:05:34 Substantial facial hair
00:05:38 Rabbi,
00:05:40 - But really...
00:05:41 - It goes, or you go.
00:05:43 - Oh.
00:05:47 - Butlers must be immaculately dressed.
00:05:49 So what's your excuse,
00:05:54 - This is me tidy.
00:05:57 Do you possess
00:06:00 perpetrated in a drunken haze?
00:06:04 - No.
00:06:06 - Any piercings of body parts?
00:06:08 - I do have a series
00:06:11 from when I was six.
00:06:12 My cousin, he gave me
00:06:14 and told me
00:06:16 [Man stifling laughter]
00:06:17 I think they've...
00:06:19 grown over.
00:06:20 - Show me your nipples.
00:06:23 [Man stifled laughter]
00:06:24 - My nipples?
00:06:26 - Yes, your nipples.
00:06:33 Hmm...
00:06:35 You can't blame a man for asking.
00:06:38 Frankly, you look the weird sort.
00:06:41 - I'm weird?
00:07:02 - Come on, come on!
00:07:06 Tess! Tess!
00:07:13 This elevator has already left.
00:07:16 Ssstop that!
00:07:18 - I have an important meeting.
00:07:20 you would've left earlier,
00:07:22 - Mother, you're embarrassing us.
00:07:24 - Stop.
00:07:26 - Ow.
00:07:28 Witch!
00:07:30 - Suck-up.
00:07:34 - Any news, Judith?
00:07:36 - Okay.
00:07:39 Kate.
00:07:43 All right, go.
00:07:45 Urgent.
00:07:46 Next, the investment
00:07:49 - Save. Next.
00:07:50 - Jacques called about dinner
00:07:52 - Confirm. Eight o'clock.
00:07:55 - It's them.
00:07:57 - Okay. Put 'em through.
00:07:59 - Good luck.
00:08:03 - A word or two about money.
00:08:06 Money makes the world go round,
00:08:09 [All]: Yes, Mr. Butler.
00:08:11 Trust, not money.
00:08:12 That's what makes
00:08:15 If I haven't been able to produce
00:08:18 at least one trustworthy butler
00:08:21 then I've wasted my time.
00:08:24 Sorry. Sorry!
00:08:26 - As I've made clear,
00:08:27 you will be in complete control
00:08:30 However, you will be treated
00:08:33 as if you were slightly less significant
00:08:35 than a piece of used toilet paper.
00:08:38 To simulate this, I've devised
00:08:49 - You're enjoying this, aren't you?
00:08:50 - I'm getting no pleasure from it
00:08:53 - Yeah, right.
00:08:55 - Bull'seye!
00:08:56 - Now, look,
00:08:58 open wide for one teeny,
00:09:01 weeny little baked bean,
00:09:04 or I'll tell your mom.
00:09:06 - But I'll tell her you hit me.
00:09:08 - What?!
00:09:09 - I'll tell her you hit me
00:09:15 Ahhhhh!
00:09:17 - You swore!
00:09:19 You swore
00:09:22 Can I watch MTV tonight?
00:09:25 - I will not be blackmailed
00:09:30 [Screaming]
00:09:42 - Mrs. Withington,
00:09:47 - Sorry, Miss Jamieson,
00:09:51 - Oh, no,
00:09:53 They're delightful children, really.
00:09:56 Please, I promised Jacques
00:10:01 - Ho-ho!
00:10:16 Babysitters...
00:10:22 [phone ringing]
00:10:26 - Hello?
00:10:28 - Bob the Babysitter?
00:10:29 - No, ma'am.
00:10:31 - Now, look.
00:10:33 I definitely have this number down
00:10:37 - Well, that was
00:10:40 - But you were a babysitter once?
00:10:42 - Well, yes.
00:10:43 Ahem. Just once.
00:10:46 this is an emergency.
00:10:50 Rascal, damsel in distress.
00:10:52 May I have your leave?
00:10:55 [Squeaking]
00:11:00 I'd be happy to.
00:11:20 - Oh... my.
00:11:23 - At your service.
00:11:24 - You-you have a piece of tomato
00:11:27 - Oh.
00:11:30 - Ew.
00:11:32 - Gone.
00:11:34 - Okay, well, um,
00:11:37 This is my daughter, Tess.
00:11:39 - Miss Tess. Hello.
00:11:42 - My son, Bates.
00:11:44 - Mm. Master...
00:11:45 Bates.
00:11:47 Also lovely.
00:11:49 - Gross.
00:11:51 - Okay.
00:11:52 Have to go,
00:11:57 do not hurt him.
00:11:59 Bob, please don't sit on any
00:12:02 - Okay.
00:12:04 - What's gross?
00:12:06 Good night, children.
00:12:09 - Good night, Mother.
00:12:11 Enjoy your romantic evening out.
00:12:13 Have fun!
00:12:22 - Don't forget the back ones, Master.
00:12:24 - Why do you call me Master?
00:12:28 - I don't like it.
00:12:30 Master Bates.
00:12:34 - Indeed.
00:12:36 How about I call you Bates?
00:12:40 - I like that.
00:12:43 - Mm-hmm.
00:12:46 - Miss Tess?
00:12:50 [Sniffing]
00:12:51 - Oh, no. Not again.
00:12:53 Water. Water!
00:12:57 Quick, quick, quick, quick...!
00:13:05 Oh, no.
00:13:16 Hmm. Mm...
00:13:23 Nice chair.
00:13:33 - Bates. You awake?
00:13:35 - When will Mom be back?
00:13:37 - I think Bob's a real find.
00:13:40 he didn't even tell me off
00:13:42 - Smoking kills. I read it.
00:13:45 - Sisters kill too,
00:13:46 so keep your mouth shut.
00:13:49 - He let me sleep
00:13:52 - He's crazy.
00:13:53 - I like him
00:13:57 - Would you like
00:13:59 - Can we?
00:14:00 - Leave it to me.
00:14:12 - Thanks for a lovely evening.
00:14:16 - I'd invite you up—
00:14:21 as usual.
00:14:22 - Omigod!
00:14:24 - The children's lights are all out!
00:14:36 What's wrong?
00:14:37 They've been good as gold.
00:14:40 What, are they bound and gagged
00:14:42 - You really should be congratulated,
00:14:45 on raising
00:14:48 Can I go now?
00:14:50 - Uh, normally, they're, uh...
00:14:53 a pain in the derriere.
00:14:55 I think here you say "brats."
00:14:58 - Well, I never say "brats."
00:15:01 what you did,
00:15:04 Jacques, will you pay Bob for me?
00:15:07 - Of course!
00:15:08 [Chortling]
00:15:10 I'm, uh...
00:15:12 tipping you
00:15:16 I want you to know why.
00:15:19 Tonight, with the kids in bed,
00:15:21 all night,
00:15:23 I get to do
00:15:27 - You gonna look in the mirror
00:15:31 Thanks, Jack.
00:15:34 - This moming,
00:15:37 will address the basic skills required
00:15:40 starting with undressing the master.
00:15:42 Now, I shall need a volunteer.
00:15:49 Jacket.
00:15:55 Tie.
00:15:58 Waistcoat. The vest, to you.
00:16:08 Shirt.
00:16:10 - Ah, come on,
00:16:12 - Dear boy, if you intend
00:16:15 to naked old flesh.
00:16:16 - You sure this isn't a British thing?
00:16:18 I mean, most Americans
00:16:21 - On the contrary.
00:16:22 We are here to educate them
00:16:27 And to dress for the right occasion.
00:16:31 Yo, I'm outta here.
00:16:34 - Well, Bob,
00:16:36 you seem to be
00:16:38 the last one left.
00:16:40 - Mr. Butler,
00:16:42 I don't really know
00:16:44 I mean... I'll give 100 bucks
00:16:48 One-hundred and fifty.
00:16:50 Please stop there.
00:16:55 - Right.
00:16:57 Mr. Tree, let's get cracking, then.
00:16:58 Dress me.
00:17:01 [Door chiming]
00:17:03 - Bob, no! Nuh-uh.
00:17:05 It's okay, Nico.
00:17:08 I can't stand the sight of blood.
00:17:10 All that screaming.
00:17:12 - You took the guy's earlobe off.
00:17:15 Ah!
00:17:17 - Of course I used to work here.
00:17:19 "Barber" comes before "butler"
00:17:21 - So how do you like it?
00:17:23 - Neat and tidy.
00:17:25 - As the man says.
00:17:28 - No beard.
00:17:30 - Butlers don't have beards.
00:17:32 - Butlers wear beards.
00:17:34 - No beard.
00:17:36 - No beard at all.
00:17:38 - No beard whatever.
00:17:39 - Itsy-bit of beard?
00:17:42 Not even a little bitty-bitty-bitty-
00:17:45 - Itty-bit of butler beard?
00:17:46 - Itty-bit of butler beard?
00:17:47 - Itty-bit of butler beard,
00:17:50 itty-bit of butler bear.
00:17:52 Settled.
00:17:55 - Well, pretty much as it is.
00:18:00 - What do you expect to do, Bob,
00:18:04 - I'll probably move on
00:18:07 Camping guide,
00:18:10 carwasher,
00:18:11 computer hacker.
00:18:13 You seem to have such faith
00:18:19 where none is justified.
00:18:24 - Thanks, Mr. Butler.
00:18:28 - Well, well, well.
00:18:35 Agentleman's gentleman,
00:18:37 by George!
00:18:41 - Loving breaths...
00:18:43 of deep...
00:18:45 [inhaling deeply]
00:18:46 ...acceptance.
00:18:53 - All right, can we speed it up,
00:18:56 Look - ahem -
00:18:57 here's my needs analysis.
00:18:59 - What are you saving time for?
00:19:01 Yourfamily?
00:19:03 But you don't even have time
00:19:07 - Jack's not family.
00:19:08 - There's too much work.
00:19:11 I need more time.
00:19:13 - Remember your mantra.
00:19:15 - "I cannot organize the world...
00:19:18 blah-blah-blah."
00:19:21 - Maybe you could work just as hard
00:19:24 who brings the best
00:19:26 - Tess, that is
00:19:29 Do you have anyone in mind?
00:19:31 - Not really.
00:19:33 - Well...
00:19:34 I quite like the babysitter
00:19:39 - But Tess said he was freaky.
00:19:41 - He's too strict.
00:19:43 - He's way too strict.
00:19:45 - Definitely not him.
00:19:49 - Well, it's not your call, children.
00:19:54 [Wind blowing]
00:20:02 - What are we doing?
00:20:03 - Come on, come on, come on.
00:20:06 Up you get.
00:20:11 Standing still, Mr. Tree,
00:20:13 is highly prized in butler circles.
00:20:15 - Freak.
00:20:17 - Just get up.
00:20:20 - Tiny people down below...
00:20:31 - Good.
00:20:33 I want you to clear your mind
00:20:35 and relax.
00:20:38 You kidding me?
00:20:40 from certain death here.
00:20:44 - I'll tell you what,
00:20:45 think of the most beautiful thing
00:20:49 - Other than your ass?
00:20:51 - Now come on. You can do it.
00:20:54 I'm beginning
00:20:57 - Okay,
00:20:58 I've got it.
00:21:01 - It's a woman.
00:21:07 - Yes.
00:21:09 Hold that thought.
00:21:32 - Hey, kiddo, how was your day?
00:21:34 - Okay.
00:21:36 Mine was pretty good.
00:21:40 - Does it have anything to do
00:21:43 - Yes.
00:21:44 - No.
00:21:51 [Slurping sound]
00:21:55 It's polite to knock.
00:21:57 - It's bedtime, sweetheart.
00:21:59 - I haven't finished.
00:22:00 - Now. Please?
00:22:03 - No.
00:22:10 - Ah, that's just what I need.
00:22:14 Thank you.
00:22:16 Do you wanna hear about my day?
00:22:18 - Now?
00:22:20 Your mind is full of work and kids,
00:22:25 That leaves little for me.
00:22:28 - I am trying to sell my business,
00:22:31 - For months, ma chérie.
00:22:33 But when?
00:22:34 - I'm thinking of hiring Bob.
00:22:36 - The babysitter?
00:22:41 - The children will live with him?
00:22:44 - No, he'll live in the attic.
00:22:47 We'll have a babysitter
00:22:49 - Perfect.
00:22:53 [Knocking]
00:22:55 You've been in there for hours.
00:22:57 - Almost finished.
00:23:06 - You'll tidy all this up?
00:23:08 - Bates, stop that!
00:23:11 - It's a toilet bidet.
00:23:14 - It's like a fountain for your ass...
00:23:18 - Jack says he's here.
00:23:20 - The butler!
00:23:21 Now then, Robert—
00:23:23 - Actually, my name's Bob.
00:23:24 - Oh, well, Bob is short for Robert.
00:23:27 - Isn't Rob short for Robert?
00:23:29 - Yes.
00:23:31 would be short for Bobert.
00:23:32 - Your name is Bobert?
00:23:34 Just Bob.
00:23:36 As long as we're satisfied
00:23:38 can we continue?
00:23:39 Though I don't know your name.
00:23:41 Is it all right if I call you
00:23:45 - No.
00:23:46 That sounds rather sordid,
00:23:48 Perhaps you could
00:23:52 - Anne.
00:23:53 - Just Anne.
00:23:55 - Anne.
00:23:57 - Yes.
00:23:58 Anne.
00:24:00 - Et bien?
00:24:01 - Mr. Tree, how many children
00:24:05 - Well, I don't have any children.
00:24:09 - But you said in the flyer
00:24:10 that you would take care
00:24:12 - Yeah, if I had some.
00:24:14 Ahem.
00:24:18 the Cosmopolitan Butler School?
00:24:20 - Is all tidy.
00:24:34 - Uh, how much do I owe you?
00:24:47 What did he say?
00:24:49 - Uh, he said
00:24:55 - Um - ahem - Jacques
00:24:57 got me a wonderful present:
00:24:58 A state-of-the-art toilet.
00:25:00 - A toilet?
00:25:03 What a nice gift.
00:25:06 [Speaking Japanese]
00:25:10 - My goodness, Bob,
00:25:12 I had no idea
00:25:15 - I worked in the Asian market.
00:25:16 - Well, that's impressive.
00:25:19 - Stalks,
00:25:20 vegetables,
00:25:22 some strangely shaped fruits.
00:25:26 Horseshoe-shaped...
00:25:28 fruits.
00:25:29 - Uh, Bob, I would like
00:25:33 I colour-categorize my sponges.
00:25:35 - Hmm?
00:25:37 purple for general,
00:25:40 Please don't confuse them.
00:25:43 - No strange women in the house.
00:25:45 - No drugs. No pets.
00:25:46 - You allergic?
00:25:48 - They're unhygienic.
00:25:50 - Fine.
00:25:59 - So what do you think?
00:26:00 - So what do you think?
00:26:01 I don't understand
00:26:05 - Well, I suppose
00:26:07 we could always interview
00:26:08 - There are other candidates?
00:26:17 I hired an assistant once.
00:26:19 she worked hard,
00:26:22 One lunchtime,
00:26:25 She had a shower
00:26:27 and then changed right back
00:26:31 - I'm lost.
00:26:33 - I fired her on the spot,
00:26:36 - You fired her
00:26:37 because of her sweaty bra?
00:26:39 Do you think Bobert wears a bra?
00:26:42 - Oh, who knows.
00:26:44 But if it doesn't work out,
00:26:46 - Okay.
00:27:02 - Ah... Bates!
00:27:06 - Sorry, Mom.
00:27:10 - I think you'll find
00:27:14 I'm sure it's not up
00:27:25 - It's...
00:27:26 white.
00:27:28 - Yeah.
00:27:31 Oh, I'm sorry it is such a mess.
00:27:37 [Singing]:
00:27:53 [squeaking]
00:27:55 - Hey, Rascal.
00:28:01 Home.
00:28:06 We are robots!
00:28:07 We are monster robots!
00:28:09 I am Robot Man!
00:28:11 Get out of my way.
00:28:14 - Aren't you a little old
00:28:17 - Well, I don't usually
00:28:20 I got these
00:28:23 I figured I'd give them
00:28:27 - Didn't he want them?
00:28:41 - Ahem.
00:28:43 The children are in bed, ma'am.
00:28:44 - Oh, thank you, Bob.
00:28:46 - Is there anything else
00:28:49 - No. Thank you.
00:28:53 - I hope you don't mind,
00:28:56 for your bathroom.
00:28:58 I don't use them.
00:28:59 - Okay, then.
00:29:01 - They breed germs.
00:29:04 - A body-dryer?
00:29:06 - Like a hairdryer?
00:29:07 - Bigger.
00:29:09 Much more hygienic.
00:29:11 Did I mention the sponge system?
00:29:14 Blue for the bathroom...
00:29:17 - Oh. Well, good night, then.
00:29:23 - Good night.
00:29:39 [Sniffing]
00:29:41 [Sniffing]
00:29:43 [Whistling]
00:29:47 - What's that smell?
00:29:48 - Real food?
00:29:52 Where did you get that blouse?
00:29:54 - It's an old one.
00:29:57 Like five years tool old.
00:30:02 - Is not.
00:30:03 - Is not.
00:30:05 Bob?
00:30:07 - Is not.
00:30:08 - Yes, ma'am?
00:30:10 or acceptable fashion?
00:30:13 - Sorry, Miss Tess.
00:30:23 - That's a lot of pancakes.
00:30:24 - It's more cost-effective
00:30:27 - They teach you
00:30:28 that bulk stuff at butler school?
00:30:30 - Actually, at the finest...
00:30:34 the finest cooking school
00:30:37 - The Cordon Bleu.
00:30:38 - The U.S. Army.
00:30:40 - The army? Cool.
00:30:42 - Would you like some pancakes,
00:30:45 - Sure, make me out on 50 pounds.
00:30:47 That'll make me popular.
00:30:49 for being rude
00:30:56 - Miss Tess, I wanna prepare
00:31:00 Sort of an introduction.
00:31:02 What does your mother like?
00:31:04 - She likes anything she can eat quickly
00:31:09 - You know what'd be good?
00:31:11 She loves the whole Hawaiian thing.
00:31:14 - A luau, huh?
00:31:16 - Pork?
00:31:21 I knew a guy once,
00:31:23 he was kind of a nervous fellow.
00:31:27 Used to bite his nails.
00:31:28 One day,
00:31:30 he was so upset,
00:31:32 - He did not.
00:31:34 we pulled him off, he'd chewed
00:31:37 - That is stupid.
00:31:41 A muzzle.
00:31:42 All because he couldn't talk
00:31:47 I don't know about that outfit,
00:31:57 Are you getting out?
00:31:58 - I've got basketball today.
00:32:01 - That's great.
00:32:04 - You're not underfourfoot.
00:32:08 Ah...
00:32:09 - Hey.
00:32:14 Guess what.
00:32:17 fan club?
00:32:20 - He looks
00:32:21 like he's from Transylvania.
00:32:23 - He's not the only one.
00:32:24 [Laughing]
00:32:26 - They remind me
00:32:28 [Laughing]
00:32:30 - Sad, sad, sad.
00:32:36 [Baby crying]
00:33:19 - Helloooo.
00:33:23 Hellooooo.
00:33:24 Hellooooo.
00:33:26 Ahem.
00:33:30 Nice melons.
00:33:32 - Thank you.
00:33:34 Nice cucumber.
00:33:36 - Thanks.
00:33:40 - You.
00:33:42 [Whispering]
00:33:44 - You.
00:33:46 - You.
00:33:51 - You.
00:33:55 - You.
00:33:59 [Blowing whistle]
00:34:12 [Beep]
00:34:16 [Music playing louder]
00:34:22 [Beep]
00:34:23 - Ah!
00:34:25 Ladies you're damn right
00:34:27 Can't read a man's mind
00:34:29 We're living in two tribes
00:34:32 Whoo!
00:34:36 We all gotta work it
00:34:38 So don't break the law
00:34:41 I'm just a love machine
00:34:46 Give me a kiss or three
00:34:47 We just need a squeeze
00:34:52 What will the neighbours think
00:34:57 This time
00:35:00 Understand that you can
00:35:02 You're my man
00:35:07 Come make my dreams
00:35:11 Loving me is as easy as pie
00:35:15 I'm just a love machine
00:35:16 Feeding my fantasy
00:35:27 Ooh, yeah.
00:35:31 - Hi.
00:35:33 - Good.
00:35:36 - Where's your sister?
00:35:38 Her cool friends
00:35:41 - She have a lot of friends?
00:35:43 - Compared to me,
00:35:49 - Tess said she'd rather die
00:35:51 by a man
00:35:54 - I only take random insults
00:35:57 - I'm Tess's best friend.
00:35:59 - Good enough.
00:36:00 Where is she?
00:36:02 - Waiting for you to leave
00:36:05 - Thank you.
00:36:07 Miss Tess!
00:36:10 Tess Jamieson!
00:36:11 Your butler is here and waiting!
00:36:15 Hurry up,
00:36:17 or I'll throw out
00:36:19 And your stash of letters
00:36:21 to one J. Timberlake!
00:36:29 So how'd basketball go?
00:36:32 What's you expect?
00:36:34 - I dunno.
00:36:36 - Well, I thought I'd be lousy.
00:36:38 - Well, then it all worked out
00:36:41 Miss Tess, how was your day?
00:36:43 - Do you gamble?
00:36:46 - I bet you'll be fired
00:36:49 - What odds are you offering?
00:36:51 Doesn't anyone want
00:36:59 [Hawaiian music playing]
00:37:11 Dinner is served!
00:37:19 - This is so perfect.
00:37:22 - She'll be breathless.
00:37:24 It's a napkin, moron.
00:37:27 - Why the hurry?
00:37:30 The least we can do
00:37:33 [Gasping]
00:37:36 Oh, my good God.
00:37:39 Aluau.
00:37:48 Who's idea was this?
00:37:50 - The butler.
00:38:07 - One Mississippi, two Mississippi,
00:38:10 six Mississippi, seven Mississippi,
00:38:21 - Mm, rich, full-bodied...
00:38:25 Hmm, I smell a hint of mushroom.
00:38:27 - Shitake?
00:38:29 - Portobello. Burgundy region.
00:38:31 I will take you there one day.
00:38:35 - Can I come to Verdungy?
00:38:37 - Oh, Bates, sweet,
00:38:40 [Bob whimpering]
00:38:41 I think it will be a trip
00:38:44 - Jacques is joking.
00:38:47 Of course we can all go together.
00:38:50 - Ah, the children. Of course.
00:38:52 - Can we go, Mom?
00:38:54 Just the three of us?
00:38:57 Jackass doesn't have to come.
00:38:58 - Jackass?
00:39:00 Who is Jackass.
00:39:03 - I think that Bates
00:39:07 - Madam...
00:39:11 kalua pu'a.
00:39:13 The custom is to prepare the food
00:39:16 in a an imu,
00:39:18 or underground oven.
00:39:22 - Sounds... wonderful.
00:39:24 Doesn't it, children?
00:39:28 [Gasping]
00:39:30 [Anne whimpering]
00:39:34 - It is normally served
00:39:35 with a mashed taro root,
00:39:37 or poi.
00:39:40 - God!
00:39:45 - Plug it! Plug it up!
00:39:50 Ah! Ahh!
00:39:52 - Hot piggy! Hot piggy!
00:39:54 Oh, Lord.
00:39:55 Stay with me! Stay with me!
00:39:57 [Bates and Anne screaming]
00:39:59 [Screaming]
00:40:01 [All screaming]
00:40:06 - I cannot organize the world,
00:40:09 [boom!]
00:40:12 Oh...
00:40:13 - I think you'll find
00:40:26 - Moi. I'm the Jackass.
00:40:29 I'm not stupid, Anne.
00:40:30 Is he not Bob-ass, this butler?
00:40:34 - Oh, I'm so sorry.
00:40:39 - Imbecile!
00:40:40 But no, you do not want
00:40:46 - I just wanted
00:40:49 Sort of a thank-you?
00:40:50 - Well, maybe if I talk to Mom.
00:40:53 - Nah. I'm the screw-up.
00:40:55 I've done this before.
00:40:57 - You blew up another pig?
00:40:59 - Bedtime, Bates.
00:41:03 - Good luck.
00:41:05 why I shouldn't fire you right now?
00:41:07 - Yes.
00:41:09 I'm listening.
00:41:12 - Can I have till tomorrow morning?
00:41:14 - This is a complete disaster area!
00:41:17 My pristine dining room
00:41:19 is covered in pig shrapnel!
00:41:22 - I'll clean it up.
00:41:24 - Every...
00:41:26 shred.
00:41:29 - Oh, and, Bob,
00:41:30 I think it's best if you never, ever...
00:41:34 ever cook anything again.
00:41:37 - Yes, ma'am.
00:41:42 [Knocking]
00:41:47 Thought you should know—
00:41:49 - Closed door, big hint.
00:41:51 ...I'm staying.
00:41:52 - I thought servants were meant
00:42:01 - Hey, these are great.
00:42:03 It's private!
00:42:14 - Look, look, look, look, look,
00:42:21 - Okay.
00:42:22 [Laughing]
00:42:26 Take your time today
00:42:28 There's no hurry
00:42:33 If only for a smile
00:42:37 Take your time today
00:42:39 There's no hurry
00:42:40 - All right!
00:42:42 You can wait a while
00:42:44 If only for a smile
00:42:47 - Sorry!
00:42:58 So have you decided
00:43:01 To change your worn-out mind
00:43:04 Then take your time today
00:43:06 There's no hurry
00:43:08 You can wait a while
00:43:12 [cellphone ringing]
00:43:14 Hi, Mom.
00:43:15 I'm in a tree.
00:43:16 [Laughing]
00:43:18 - Miss Tess.
00:43:23 - Bates, there you are.
00:43:26 - Nice hat.
00:43:30 Take your time today
00:43:34 - Five in a row. Right back.
00:43:46 [Humming]
00:43:50 - Shoot some balls with me?
00:43:56 - What's that?
00:43:59 - Have you got
00:44:03 - Rascal?
00:44:04 - Who's Rascal?
00:44:08 Rascal!
00:44:14 Rascal!
00:44:16 Rascal!
00:44:21 Rascal!
00:44:24 [Screaming]
00:44:27 Rascal!!!
00:44:31 Bob!
00:44:33 Bob!
00:44:35 Bob, stop!
00:44:37 - Rascal!!!
00:44:48 - Poor thing.
00:44:51 Someone's been
00:44:52 [Rascal squeaking]
00:45:00 - Oh...
00:45:02 [squeaking]
00:45:04 Rascal.
00:45:06 "He licked the jar right out
00:45:09 "with a streak of black gob,
00:45:12 "perhaps the most disgusting thing
00:45:15 "since the time
00:45:17 - Hi, guys.
00:45:18 How was your day?
00:45:20 Anything interesting happen?
00:45:23 - The usual.
00:45:25 - Oh.
00:45:31 - Why aren't you a dad?
00:45:33 - Just didn't happen yet.
00:45:35 - I don't have a dad.
00:45:38 - Everybody has a dad.
00:45:39 - Mom got me and Bates
00:45:42 - Tess.
00:45:44 - Special bank
00:45:46 - Tess...
00:45:49 - If they can't find Mr. Right.
00:45:56 [Trumpet being played off-key
00:46:09 - Bob.
00:46:11 Bob!
00:46:16 - Too loud?
00:46:18 No. Just, uh... just really...
00:46:21 really horrible.
00:46:23 Heh-heh.
00:46:24 - I love the trumpet.
00:46:25 - Then you should practice.
00:46:27 - Yeah.
00:46:29 - Um...
00:46:32 Bob, you must... think
00:46:36 - No.
00:46:39 - Sure.
00:46:41 - I just...
00:46:44 It's not like time
00:46:47 so I thought I'd...
00:46:51 You're... you're blessed.
00:46:55 Sorry. I, uh...
00:46:57 spoke out of turn.
00:46:59 Zip!
00:47:02 Thank you.
00:47:04 - Can I ask you a question?
00:47:06 - Yeah...
00:47:08 - What's capital management?
00:47:13 [Laughing]
00:47:15 - Bye! Thanks for the lift!
00:47:17 - See you later!
00:47:18 - Bye-bye!
00:47:26 Hello, Judith.
00:47:28 I'll be about an hour or so.
00:47:30 It can wait.
00:47:32 Yeah. I'll be on my cellphone
00:47:35 Okay. Bye.
00:47:38 Oh!
00:47:42 Ah! Oh...
00:47:44 Well, I can't come to a meeting
00:47:48 now can I?
00:47:50 I'm back, Bob!
00:47:52 I'll be there as soon as I can.
00:47:54 [Music playing]
00:48:03 I'll be over at 10
00:48:07 I can't wait...
00:48:22 Why do you build me up
00:48:26 Buttercup baby
00:48:29 ...let me down...
00:48:33 - Can I get you some towels,
00:48:35 - Mm-hmm!!!
00:48:37 But I love you still
00:48:39 I need you
00:48:41 You know that I have
00:48:43 From the start
00:48:44 So build me up
00:48:48 Buttercup
00:48:50 Don't break my heart
00:48:52 - You don't get that flipping burgers.
00:48:58 - Then I dribbled right, cut left
00:49:03 - Who traded in my geek brother
00:49:07 - Hey, where are you all going
00:49:08 on a Sunday?
00:49:11 - Well, I'll drive you.
00:49:13 - I wanna go with Bob.
00:49:16 - Okay. Uh...
00:49:18 what about you, Tess?
00:49:22 Don't you have work to do?
00:49:23 - Nope. Amazingly.
00:49:27 All right, well...
00:49:31 [Cellphone ringing]
00:49:35 - Ah, oui, allô?
00:49:37 Anne! What's wrong?
00:49:39 - I got the whole day free
00:49:47 [Sighing in contentment]
00:49:49 It's so nice to do something
00:49:52 - We go out
00:49:55 - Oh, this is lovely!
00:49:58 This is nice!
00:50:00 Now this is relaxing.
00:50:03 This...
00:50:06 Take me home.
00:50:08 - I... I... I can't be here
00:50:11 I just can't enjoy... myself
00:50:13 I mean, you know, I just can't!
00:50:15 - Let's go!
00:50:18 I love them.
00:50:20 - You would prefer
00:50:22 Examine the situation.
00:50:27 Very beautiful,
00:50:28 true, but, uh, very, very...
00:50:30 anal.
00:50:33 - Anal. I'm anal.
00:50:35 - Two: Your children.
00:50:39 They are not beautiful.
00:50:44 Three: If I go...
00:50:45 - I'll take three. You go. Now.
00:50:48 Take a cab.
00:50:50 You are a single woman
00:50:54 You will not find another man.
00:50:56 Statistically,
00:50:58 you have a better chance
00:51:01 One driven by Bob.
00:51:12 - So?
00:51:14 - So what?
00:51:15 - How'd it go? The tryouts.
00:51:17 - There was no tryouts.
00:51:19 The coach had already decided
00:51:24 - What?
00:51:25 That's not fair.
00:51:28 Wait here.
00:51:29 - You're not going to embarrass me?
00:51:32 - You bet I am.
00:51:36 [Military-style music]
00:51:38 - Who's asking?
00:51:40 - My name's Tree.
00:51:45 - Bob?
00:51:46 Bob the mascot?
00:51:48 - Jerry?
00:51:50 - Yeah!!!
00:51:52 Rrrrrrr!
00:51:55 - Yeah.
00:51:57 What happened
00:51:59 - Ah, I left not long
00:52:02 He was a real a-hole.
00:52:04 - I know. I know. I know.
00:52:06 - Still got your helmet, though.
00:52:08 You wanna see it?
00:52:10 - You bet.
00:52:12 It's about Bates.
00:52:14 Bates Jamieson?
00:52:15 - Pull up a chair.
00:52:21 - Uh-ooh.
00:52:28 - Yeah. Still fits like a glove.
00:52:30 Areally...
00:52:32 weird glove.
00:52:34 - It took them two hours
00:52:36 - I probably shouldn't have
00:52:38 Ahem.
00:52:41 - He wants to try out for the team.
00:52:44 - He's kind of small.
00:52:50 Why is it impossible
00:52:52 [Both]: Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
00:52:54 - Yeah! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
00:52:59 All right.
00:53:00 [Blowing whistle]
00:53:08 Come on, Bates!
00:53:10 He's a little nervous.
00:53:13 Put one in the net there, Bates!
00:53:28 How ya doin'?
00:53:30 - Coach hates me.
00:53:31 - Forget about him, okay?
00:53:33 It's just you and me.
00:53:35 Just like at home.
00:53:36 Come on.
00:53:38 Come on, let's go!
00:53:40 - Come on!
00:53:41 Like we practiced!
00:53:43 Come on!
00:53:44 - Hey.
00:53:47 Take it around me,
00:53:50 take it around me, put it in,
00:53:51 put it in the net. Come on.
00:53:53 No fancy stuff.
00:53:57 All right! Huh?! Huh?!
00:54:00 - Two points!
00:54:02 Two points!
00:54:06 Hey, Tess.
00:54:10 Been shopping?
00:54:11 Oh, what is that, a wristband?
00:54:15 Pair of socks?
00:54:16 [Bates]: Mom!!!!!!
00:54:18 - Hey, how were the tryouts?
00:54:21 - Good. I made salmon skewers.
00:54:23 - I'll tell Tess.
00:54:25 - What?
00:54:29 - Hey, Tess.
00:54:31 - Your mother made a barbecue.
00:54:33 - I'll be down in five.
00:54:41 [Bob humming]
00:54:45 - Would you like
00:54:49 Please.
00:54:51 We'd like you to.
00:54:53 - Thank you.
00:54:56 It's real nice of you
00:54:58 these salmon skewers.
00:55:02 And a green salad.
00:55:06 - That was delicious.
00:55:09 - No, no. It was really good.
00:55:11 - Oh, you missed a spot.
00:55:13 - Where?
00:55:15 - Hmm.
00:55:17 You know, Tess has drawn
00:55:21 You should see her schoolbooks.
00:55:24 - Yeah, she draws
00:55:27 - You're such a liar!
00:55:29 You're such a stupid liar!
00:55:31 - Tess!
00:55:33 I hate you, Bob!
00:55:36 Tess!
00:55:38 - I guess that's what it's like
00:55:41 [Squeaking]
00:55:44 [Knocking]
00:55:46 Just a second.
00:55:53 Come in.
00:55:55 - Hi.
00:55:57 I've spoken to Tess
00:56:00 You're right.
00:56:02 So thank you for that.
00:56:08 - Something wrong?
00:56:12 - Don't take this
00:56:15 You're the butler.
00:56:18 You're not herfather.
00:56:23 - I understand completely.
00:56:28 - Thanks.
00:56:31 Good night, then.
00:56:33 - Good night.
00:56:43 - Why are we eating in here?
00:56:45 - More coffee, ma'am?
00:56:47 - Please, ma'am.
00:56:55 - It's cool.
00:57:00 - New skirt?
00:57:02 - No. It's like theirs.
00:57:04 - That's the point, stupid.
00:57:07 - So you coming to watch me
00:57:10 - Not on this planet.
00:57:12 Tomorrow after school, okay?
00:57:15 [School bell ringing]
00:57:17 - Bye.
00:57:20 - You're hanging
00:57:23 - Maybe when I'm in tighter,
00:57:24 I'll put in a good word for you
00:57:27 - I liked you because I thought
00:57:30 Like me.
00:57:33 Now you're just more like pathetic.
00:57:48 - Stop!
00:57:50 Excuse me.
00:57:53 Kate, is the fruit washed?
00:57:54 Judith, did you wash the fruit?
00:57:56 - It's pre-washed.
00:57:58 - Pre-washed? Pre-washed?!
00:58:00 - Pre-washed.
00:58:06 I do not wanna to lose this deal
00:58:08 because one of my investors
00:58:10 - The runs?
00:58:15 - Done.
00:58:17 Done.
00:58:19 Done!
00:58:25 [Squeaking]
00:58:27 [Screaming]
00:58:34 Arodent!
00:58:37 Oh! Rodent!
00:58:38 Huge rodent!
00:58:40 - Where is he?
00:58:42 Huge!
00:58:44 - Rascal?
00:58:45 - Rascal, don't do this to me.
00:58:47 - Furry thing on the table!
00:58:48 He was there on the table!
00:58:50 - Hold it!
00:58:52 - Don't move.
00:58:53 - Ah... What are you doing, Bob?
00:58:55 [Squeaking]
00:58:58 Ah... ah... ah...
00:59:00 Ahhhh!
00:59:01 [Screaming]
00:59:04 - Rascal...
00:59:07 [cellphone ringing]
00:59:09 - Oh, Jesus.
00:59:12 I guess this is urgent?
00:59:14 - Of course it's urgent!
00:59:15 - Stay calm, Anne.
00:59:18 - Too late!
00:59:20 I've dumped Jacques
00:59:22 - What hamster?
00:59:23 Bob's taken over.
00:59:26 - Than you do?
00:59:30 - Have you fired him?
00:59:31 - I told him the hamster
00:59:33 and I want
00:59:35 from top to bottom!
00:59:36 - Oh, sounds like
00:59:39 - Huh! I'm paying you for this?
00:59:43 Don't you dare bill me
00:59:46 Ridiculous!
00:59:53 - Oh, Rascal.
00:59:55 Who let you out?
01:00:07 You know what, Tess?
01:00:10 And if I was your father,
01:00:13 Ya dig?
01:00:15 - Yeah, whatever.
01:00:18 - Whatever.
01:00:31 - Bates...
01:00:33 was it you?
01:00:37 C'mon, Bates, why? C'mon.
01:00:39 Talk to me, buddy.
01:00:44 - I didn't make the team.
01:00:48 - You didn't. Okay.
01:00:49 That's a shame.
01:00:51 - I didn't make the team!
01:00:54 - Well, I never said that.
01:00:58 I said I would try.
01:01:01 - I wasn't good enough.
01:01:03 - Not being good enough is...
01:01:05 life.
01:01:07 But you'll find
01:01:10 Everybody's good at something.
01:01:12 - What are you good at?
01:01:17 - I can catch grapes
01:01:29 - Mom?
01:01:33 I put Rascal in your room.
01:01:37 I didn't make the team.
01:01:40 - Okay.
01:01:42 - It doesn't matter, though.
01:02:12 - Hello, Mr. Butler?
01:02:14 Bob here.
01:02:31 You'll look after him?
01:02:33 - Of course.
01:02:34 - Can I make you a cup of tea?
01:02:38 - Oh, we have a regular little butler.
01:02:41 What's your name,
01:02:43 Master?
01:02:44 - It's Bates.
01:02:46 Just Bates.
01:02:49 - Hmm...
01:02:58 - You're gonna be just fine.
01:03:01 - It's like an initiation thing.
01:03:08 - I'll start your room.
01:03:17 [Banging]
01:03:19 - Fine, thanks!
01:03:39 Let's go.
01:03:43 - No problem.
01:03:44 [Alarm ringing]
01:03:46 - Security!
01:03:47 - Ah!
01:03:49 No! Let me go!
01:03:51 You guys, wait!
01:03:57 - Purple. Purple for general.
01:03:59 - What?
01:04:01 yellow for kitchen,
01:04:03 blue for bathroom.
01:04:04 Purple for general.
01:04:06 - Right.
01:04:12 - Hello?
01:04:13 Hey, Bob!
01:04:15 It's for you.
01:04:17 - Hello.
01:04:19 Jamieson family butler speaking.
01:04:24 I'll be right there.
01:04:27 I have to go.
01:04:29 Will you be okay with Mr. Butler
01:04:31 for a while?
01:04:35 - Come on, Bates.
01:04:37 I'll teach you how to polish silver
01:04:41 - Cool!
01:04:43 - Yeah!
01:04:45 [Military-style music]
01:04:48 - Hey! I'm looking
01:04:51 - Tough love.
01:04:54 scare 'em straight
01:04:56 - This one's not like that.
01:04:58 - You're one of those
01:04:59 always-looking-for-the-best
01:05:01 Hmm! We'll keep her
01:05:03 then you can take her.
01:05:06 you'll let her out this second.
01:05:09 and I'll have your ass kicked
01:05:27 Don't worry about it.
01:05:32 - Bob, I'm sorry.
01:05:33 About everything.
01:05:36 I lied.
01:05:38 About the luau.
01:05:40 My mom's practically a vegetarian.
01:05:42 - I guess she is now.
01:05:44 Come on, let's go.
01:06:02 - Omigod.
01:06:04 Bates!
01:06:05 - I'm standing still, Mom!
01:06:07 I can be a butler!
01:06:12 - Good evening, Miss Jamieson.
01:06:18 [Scooter backfiring]
01:06:25 - Tess, where have you been?!
01:06:27 - I got hung up at Sophie's.
01:06:29 Bob came and got me.
01:06:32 - In that?!
01:06:33 Both of you, inside now!
01:06:39 Bob, I have known
01:06:41 that you're not the world's
01:06:44 but you at least seemed
01:06:47 What kind of a man
01:06:49 leaves an eight-year-old
01:06:52 A stranger...
01:06:54 A psycho!
01:06:55 Who thinks that standing
01:06:58 is good training?
01:07:00 - I'm sorry, Anne.
01:07:02 - Miss Jamieson!
01:07:05 - I'm truly sorry, Miss Jamieson.
01:07:10 - I have to let you go, Bob.
01:07:14 I'll pay you
01:07:17 I want you to leave in the morning.
01:08:31 - Let's not get ourselves down,
01:08:33 Rascal.
01:08:34 You keep going...
01:08:36 and I'll keep going.
01:08:39 [Squeaking]
01:08:42 - To the end
01:08:46 [All]: Finally!
01:08:51 Okay...
01:08:55 - I don't feel like celebrating.
01:09:07 [Knocking]
01:09:10 - Come in.
01:09:12 Why aren't you in school?
01:09:14 What are you doing?
01:09:15 - Lunch.
01:09:17 Welcome to my home.
01:09:20 - Nice.
01:09:21 - Well, my natural state is messy.
01:09:24 - I'm sorry you got fired.
01:09:27 the cool kids to like me.
01:09:31 - You know, when I was a kid,
01:09:36 But...
01:09:37 there was always once piece
01:09:39 I could neverfigure out
01:09:41 I always felt like that piece.
01:09:45 I've spent my whole life
01:09:48 So when you figure it out...
01:09:51 well...
01:09:52 that's good.
01:09:55 - So you're saying
01:09:58 if it helps you fit in?
01:10:02 - I worked
01:10:05 - You?
01:10:07 but it was better
01:10:10 Here.
01:10:12 Severance pay
01:10:16 - Bob...
01:10:18 can you teach me how to sew?
01:10:33 - Sorry for skipping out on you.
01:10:36 so cowardly.
01:10:38 - This is ace.
01:10:39 D'you steal it?
01:10:41 - I made it.
01:10:43 I want one.
01:10:46 - Than wouldn't we be wearing
01:10:48 - Yeah. Like a club.
01:10:57 - Hey, Soph.
01:11:04 [Knocking]
01:11:08 - I had the best day.
01:11:09 - Great.
01:11:12 - He followed me.
01:11:13 - I want to be good at something.
01:11:20 You ever seen
01:11:22 Check, check, check, check.
01:11:23 - Check, check.
01:11:24 Check, check.
01:11:27 - Wicked.
01:11:28 - I hope you're ready.
01:11:31 - It's show time.
01:11:33 Thank you for coming,
01:11:35 just lady.
01:11:36 I am pleased to present
01:11:38 original creations by Tess!
01:11:42 [Music]
01:11:44 Be a cool girl
01:11:48 In a stunning outfit
01:11:51 That's our Sophie!
01:11:54 - Chic, not chick.
01:11:56 - Whatever.
01:11:57 And next up,
01:11:59 the twin evil girls.
01:12:01 [Anne]: Oh!
01:12:02 [Anne applauding]
01:12:05 - And finally,
01:12:07 the heroine of the hour,
01:12:09 the one and only...
01:12:12 Miss Tess!
01:12:29 [False notes]
01:12:39 [Knocking]
01:12:45 - Miss Jamieson.
01:12:47 - Yeah,
01:12:52 I wasn't, obviously.
01:12:54 I came to see you.
01:12:57 - Come on in.
01:13:06 - Here we are.
01:13:11 She's very talented.
01:13:13 - You've been so good with them.
01:13:16 But I know the truth.
01:13:19 - I just helped her
01:13:22 - You got my little girl out of jail.
01:13:26 I got a phone call this morning
01:13:31 He said that he wished
01:13:34 were as loyal
01:13:36 - Don't be too hard on her.
01:13:38 - I think you know me
01:13:41 - I do.
01:13:43 - So what's next for you?
01:13:46 One of those butler cruises.
01:13:49 Around the world in 365 days.
01:13:54 - That's good for you.
01:13:56 When do you leave?
01:13:57 - First thing Saturday.
01:14:01 - Oh, um... these...
01:14:03 are... for tomorrow.
01:14:08 - Oh, wow.
01:14:09 I love the trumpet.
01:14:10 - Yeah. Jacques and I
01:14:13 but, uh, I thought
01:14:17 - No.
01:14:24 - Well, I guess we, uh...
01:14:27 - Sure.
01:14:32 - Okay, then.
01:14:34 - Okay.
01:14:36 - Okay, well,
01:14:39 Eight o'clock tomorrow.
01:14:48 It's not a date.
01:14:50 - It's a date.
01:14:52 - Is.
01:14:55 A date, huh!
01:14:58 Two individual people who...
01:15:00 happen to be going to the same place
01:15:03 All I did was give Bob
01:15:07 - It's so a date.
01:15:08 - Who's going on a date?
01:15:12 - Awesome!
01:15:17 [Cellphone ringing]
01:15:21 - Hello.
01:15:22 [Jacques]: What are you doing
01:15:27 [Flushing]
01:15:32 Oh...
01:15:33 - I'm taking care of my family.
01:15:35 I'm a single woman
01:15:39 - Ah, tonight, we have those, uh...
01:15:41 tickets to the concert.
01:15:43 - Bye, Jacques.
01:15:46 You would not go alone.
01:15:48 Are you going alone?
01:15:50 - Are you jealous,
01:15:53 - Who is he?
01:15:55 Who is he?!
01:15:56 [With French accent]: Robert.
01:15:58 - Robert...
01:16:02 Bobert...
01:16:05 Bob?
01:16:08 - It's just a night out
01:16:12 who's stolen my heart.
01:16:14 [Squeaking whine]
01:16:19 [Frenzied knocking]
01:16:22 I've got a doorbell, you know.
01:16:27 - We're here to help.
01:16:30 - Could you have knocked
01:16:32 - Ugly...
01:16:34 ew... no...
01:16:36 tragic...
01:16:38 ew...
01:16:39 gross... no.
01:16:43 What's wrong with this?
01:16:45 - Kind of bored of suits, you know?
01:16:47 - It's perfect.
01:16:49 What time is the concert?
01:16:50 - Doesn't take me long
01:16:53 - Maybe it should.
01:17:02 - Oh, hello, sir.
01:17:05 - This is the Cosmopolitan
01:17:08 - It is no more.
01:17:11 - It is closing?
01:17:13 - I'm afraid so.
01:17:15 Not enough filthy lucre
01:17:17 - So...
01:17:19 you trained the great Bob.
01:17:23 - What about Bob?
01:17:25 - Five-day course.
01:17:28 Mon Dieu!
01:17:29 You are not a professional!
01:17:31 Just a sad British man
01:17:34 with his sad little tradition.
01:17:37 So...
01:17:39 now we have Bob the liar, too.
01:17:42 - If I may say so...
01:17:44 sir...
01:17:46 Bob Tree
01:17:49 And it has been an honour
01:17:52 - Bob!
01:17:59 - Wow.
01:18:00 - Mom, is that you?
01:18:02 - I'll take that as a compliment,
01:18:05 Now don't stay up too late.
01:18:08 You sure it's not too much?
01:18:10 - That's a good thing, right?
01:18:13 - If you've got it, flaunt it.
01:18:16 - You better not say that.
01:18:19 Good night.
01:18:47 - You're early.
01:18:52 - Yes, I am.
01:19:27 - Hi.
01:19:30 - You look... radiant.
01:19:33 - Huh...
01:19:35 you said it yourself.
01:19:57 - Yeah, I couldn't believe it.
01:19:59 - Oh, I have my... my...
01:20:02 Bob has it.
01:20:03 - Uh-uh-uh, Bob has my ticket.
01:20:08 Oh...
01:20:10 Ah...
01:20:14 - Forget it.
01:20:48 - It's like a dream, isn't it?
01:20:59 [Applause]
01:21:04 - You wanna go backstage?
01:21:06 - I don't think we're allowed.
01:21:08 - All right, follow me.
01:21:12 - Bob! Yeah!!!
01:21:15 - Euh...
01:21:16 - How ya doin'?
01:21:18 - Mama Clara!
01:21:21 - You sure we can do this?
01:21:24 Ooh.
01:21:25 - Bob, is that you?
01:21:28 Come on, Anne.
01:21:29 - How ya doin'?
01:21:31 - Ahem.
01:21:32 - I want you to meet
01:21:35 Anne Jamieson.
01:21:36 - The pleasure's mine.
01:21:38 - You know, a few of us
01:21:41 Would you and your date
01:21:43 - Well, she's not a date.
01:21:46 - Fantastic.
01:21:48 - I... I saw them go back there.
01:21:50 - Who?
01:21:52 Are you... are you deaf?
01:21:54 - Hey! Hey, hey, hey!
01:21:56 - Whoo!!! Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
01:21:59 [Screaming]
01:22:00 [Excited screaming]
01:22:06 Oh!
01:22:09 Oh!
01:22:10 - You seem like you know
01:22:14 - Yeah. Well, I've been fired a lot.
01:22:16 [Anne laughing]
01:22:19 - It was a wonderful evening.
01:22:22 - Oh!
01:22:23 Oh, your dress.
01:22:26 Aha...
01:22:27 - Did you and Tess plan this?
01:22:31 I did teach her to sew.
01:22:34 - Laugh! But not for long.
01:22:36 If I weren't a gentleman,
01:22:38 I would kill you right now.
01:22:39 - Oh, Jacques!
01:22:42 - It is my business.
01:22:44 Put some clothes on!
01:22:48 I'll... run around stark naked
01:22:52 - Anne, you have been fooled.
01:22:56 - Maybe I should just go.
01:22:59 Afterwhat you did?
01:23:01 You cannot take advantage
01:23:04 - Oh! I am not middle-aged!
01:23:07 Am I?
01:23:09 - You're beautiful.
01:23:11 - And I'm going to hire Bob.
01:23:14 - To do what?!
01:23:18 Cinq!
01:23:20 - I... I... I...
01:23:22 for my children
01:23:25 - Ah, Anne!
01:23:27 - No, this situation is fine.
01:23:30 You are intolerable.
01:23:34 - C'est fini?
01:23:35 Au revoir!!!
01:23:37 - Au revoir!
01:23:38 Good riddance!
01:23:44 - So would you...
01:23:46 The... children miss you
01:23:50 - I can't.
01:23:51 - I don't understand.
01:23:54 - It wouldn't be appropriate.
01:24:09 - Aren't you going after him?
01:24:12 - He's leaving
01:24:30 - Get up, Mom.
01:24:33 - Tess, what are you doing?
01:24:38 You're all alone.
01:24:40 - Mom,
01:24:41 he's part of our family.
01:24:52 - Stay here.
01:24:54 - Go, Mom!
01:24:55 [Bates]: Go, Mom!
01:24:57 - Go, Mom! Go, Mom!
01:24:58 [Both]: Go, Mom! Go, Mom!
01:25:05 Go, Mom! Go, Mom!
01:25:07 Go, Mom! Go, Mom!
01:25:16 Go, Mom! Go, Mom!
01:25:22 - What happened?
01:25:23 [Anne sighing]
01:25:27 - That happened.
01:25:31 That's the butler cruise.
01:25:35 - You mean Bob left?
01:25:45 - What a mess!
01:25:47 A real mess!
01:25:51 It's a real mess.
01:25:55 - Maybe he'll come back.
01:25:57 - Get tidy, Anne.
01:25:59 Get tidy.
01:26:12 I'm sorry, kids. We lost Bob
01:26:16 But I wanna thank you -
01:26:17 both.
01:26:19 I love you so much.
01:26:21 Both of you.
01:26:25 Please don't look at me like that.
01:26:34 They say kids bounce back,
01:26:47 Bob!
01:26:51 Bob!
01:26:54 - What about the butler cruise?
01:26:55 - I couldn't leave.
01:26:57 Thought I'd stay.
01:26:59 - Car-washing?
01:27:02 in the Cs.
01:27:27 Hey!
01:27:29 This is a song
01:27:31 About my desire to find work
01:27:35 My desire to find a family
01:27:38 - For the food
01:27:40 and for my new dad, Bob,
01:27:43 we thank you, God.
01:27:44 [All]: Amen.
01:27:45 - Oh, honey, why don't I carve?
01:27:49 - Ahem-hem.
01:27:50 That's a gentleman's job. Ma'am.
01:27:57 Check it
01:27:59 [flatulence]
01:28:02 - Not again!
01:28:04 Oh. Nooooo!
01:28:05 [BOOM!]
01:28:08 - Dinner is served.
01:28:12 My name is Bob
01:28:15 When I'm not getting fired
01:28:17 Go through the phonebook
01:28:20 I want to be an astronaut
01:28:23 Flip burgers
01:28:25 Burn down the restaurant
01:28:27 I got another occupation
01:28:30 Keeping a job for two weeks
01:28:32 Like the time
01:28:34 Gave it all I got
01:28:37 He bled a lot
01:28:39 He just screamed and got blood
01:28:43 Oh golly gee did it again
01:28:45 I talked to my hamster
01:28:48 Go through the phonebook again
01:28:50 And I see something
01:28:53 My name is Bob
01:28:55 My name is Bob
01:28:58 My name is Bob
01:29:01 My name is Bob
01:29:03 My name is Bob
01:29:06 My name is Bob
01:29:08 My name is Bob
01:29:11 My name is Bob
01:29:13 So I jumped on my motorbike
01:29:16 When to the school
01:29:18 They made me balance
01:29:21 They made me make a naked dude
01:29:23 He dressed me up in a suit
01:29:26 Took me to the rooftop
01:29:28 Made me climb to the edge
01:29:31 Looked at the ground
01:29:33 I thought about a woman
01:29:36 And the vertigo stopped
01:29:38 It felt real good
01:29:41 I think I'm gonna be a butler
01:29:43 'Cause my name is Bob
01:29:46 My name is Bob
01:29:49 My name is Bob
01:29:51 My name is Bob
01:29:54 My name is Bob
01:29:56 My name is Bob
01:29:59 My name is Bob
01:30:01 My name is Bob
01:30:04 Went to the place
01:30:07 Living in the attic
01:30:09 Take the dust to dust
01:30:11 Brought the kids
01:30:14 I make dinner
01:30:16 I want to make the lady
01:30:19 But the lady comes home
01:30:21 Messed up again
01:30:24 Pretty soon
01:30:26 Looking for a job
01:30:29 Maybe I could be a rapper
01:30:32 Get you on the dance floor
01:30:34 My name is Bob
01:30:37 My name is Bob
01:30:39 My name is Bob
01:30:42 My name is Bob
01:30:44 My name is Bob
01:30:47 My name is Bob
01:30:49 My name is Bob
01:30:52 My name is Bob
01:30:54 My name is Bob
01:30:57 My name is Bob
01:30:59 My name is Bob
01:31:02 My name is Bob
01:31:05 My name is Bob
01:31:07 My name is Bob
01:31:10 My name is Bob
01:31:12 My name is Bob
01:31:17 DVD Subtitling: CNST, Montreal