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Br no en
00:01:03	What's up? I'm Brüno.
00:01:06	I live in Austria's coolest city,
00:01:09	Vienna. No big deal. Whatever.
00:01:13	I am the host of Funkyzeit,
00:01:15	the most important TV fashion show
00:01:18	in any German-speaking country,
00:01:21	apart from Germany.
00:01:27	Funkyzeit is über influential.
00:01:29	In fact, Austrian fashionistas live their
00:01:32	lives according to my "In or Out" list.
00:01:35	In! Autism.
00:01:37	Aus. Chlamydia.
00:01:39	Why is autism so cool at the moment?
00:01:43	-Because it's funny.
00:01:46	Through Funkyzeit,
00:01:49	mit everyone in the Euro-fashion world.
00:01:51	Can you look into this
00:01:54	"You're watching Funkyzeit mit Brüno"?
00:01:56	You are watching Funkyzeit programme with
00:01:59	Brüno, and it's really a great show.
00:02:02	Yeah, that's cool. Can you do it, like,
00:02:03	even more like a kind of black guy?
00:02:05	You know, like an afrikanischer...
00:02:06	-Like this?
00:02:07	You are watching Funkyzeit
00:02:09	programme with Brüno.
00:02:11	Yo, man. Fuck, man.
00:02:15	Something maybe a bit more crazy.
00:02:16	Maybe show a bit of skin
00:02:17	or something like that.
00:02:19	-No, I don't think so. -Or what
00:02:21	about just like one Kugelsack?
00:02:23	One of the balls?
00:02:24	No.
00:02:26	And the most exciting and
00:02:28	amazing thing in the town,
00:02:30	from the fashion streets of Milan, only
00:02:32	for the German girls, my great hairs.
00:02:35	Yo, man.
00:02:39	Modelling, a lot of people think it's easy.
00:02:41	But it's the hardest job
00:02:43	in the world, isn't it?
00:02:44	It's very hard. Standing in heels all
00:02:46	day, and everyone's watching you,
00:02:49	so you have to make sure your
00:02:50	walk is good. And, yeah.
00:02:51	Yeah, it's really hard, 'cause
00:02:52	you've gotta remember, like,
00:02:53	to put your right leg forward and
00:02:55	then put your left leg forward
00:02:57	and then, like, which one now?
00:02:58	Right leg again, and then, like, the left one.
00:03:00	And then sometimes
00:03:02	Yeah. And especially the turn. It's so scary.
00:03:08	Being the host from Funkyzeit
00:03:10	means Brüno's always
00:03:14	Hi. How are you?
00:03:16	You have to lose some weight.
00:03:17	-The kettle is calling the pot black.
00:03:21	Put your shoulders back. This is a
00:03:23	fashion show, not a slave auction.
00:03:28	Mein personal assistant,
00:03:31	He's also mein stylist.
00:03:33	-Do you think the glasses are
00:03:34	too much? -Yeah, I'd lose them.
00:03:36	They're too much like, "Look at me.
00:03:37	"Hey, everybody, look at
00:03:38	me. Look at my glasses."
00:03:39	-Yeah. -"Everybody, like,
00:03:40	stare at my glasses."
00:03:41	He's also my nutritionist.
00:03:44	Yeah, that is good.
00:03:45	I have a second assistant, but
00:03:47	ich can't remember its name.
00:03:50	Brüno has known true love twice in his life.
00:03:53	Once, for 7 minutes with Milli from Milli
00:03:55	und Vanilli. No big deal. Whatever.
00:03:58	But for the last 9 years, ich
00:04:01	have been head über heels in love
00:04:03	mit a pygmy flight attendant called Diesel.
00:04:07	We're just like an ordinary couple,
00:04:09	you know, boring, stay-at-home types.
00:04:35	-Oh, my God. I feel it.
00:04:37	You're getting so big. -Ja.
00:04:43	-How much do you want? -Just half a
00:04:44	glass. Otherwise I get too giggly.
00:04:47	In September 2008,
00:04:52	to shoot a new season of Funkyzeit.
00:04:55	Brüno had backstage access for the
00:04:57	hottest show of the week, de la Prada.
00:05:00	So I wore the jewel of mein wardrobe,
00:05:03	a suit made entirely out of Velcro.
00:05:20	I'm wearing this.
00:05:21	This is a prototype. It's a Velcro
00:05:23	suit made by Frederic Worms.
00:05:25	Pretty cool, right?
00:05:26	It is. I was looking at it, and
00:05:30	-Well, it's a prototype.
00:05:31	It's a one-off. -Okay.
00:05:32	-Thank you.
00:05:33	-Also... Yeah.
00:05:35	We'll get out, but don't push me.
00:05:36	Yeah. Okay, no listen. We
00:05:38	haven't finished the thing.
00:05:39	-You go out now.
00:05:41	Yeah, wait a second.
00:05:44	Take... Get this off...
00:05:47	Stop!
00:05:56	-Thank you.
00:05:58	Can you take...
00:06:05	Wait. Get me out of this.
00:06:30	Brüno was aus.
00:06:34	For the second time in a century,
00:06:36	the world had turned
00:06:39	just because he was brave
00:06:41	enough to try something new.
00:06:44	-No.
00:06:45	Brüno was schwarz-listed.
00:06:47	-I'm on the front row.
00:06:56	I'm sorry.
00:07:04	Und worst of all...
00:07:06	Hello?
00:07:08	...ich was fired from Funkyzeit.
00:07:13	Ich realised that night that the fashion
00:07:16	world was superficial und vacuous.
00:07:21	So, I decided instead to go to Los
00:07:24	Angeles to become a celebrity.
00:07:28	Ich was going to be the biggest
00:07:31	Austrian superstar since Hitler.
00:07:36	What? I'm not coming.
00:07:38	-Why not?
00:07:43	-I'm so sorry I humiliate you.
00:07:47	Bye, baby, I love you.
00:07:49	Diesel, I love you. Diesel.
00:08:39	Ich arrived in LA
00:08:41	und cunningly avoided being
00:08:43	snapped by the waiting paparazzi.
00:08:45	No photos, please. Do you want
00:08:47	another Diana on your hands?
00:08:52	Mein Plan was to become
00:08:54	the biggest gay movie star
00:08:55	since Schwarzenegger.
00:08:57	Maximum Santzgaut!
00:09:00	Also, ich headed to my first meeting
00:09:02	mit a Hollywood über agent.
00:09:05	So my name's Brüno.
00:09:08	I'm 19 years old. And, of course, you'll
00:09:11	know me as the host of Funkyzeit.
00:09:13	Okay. Well, I understand that
00:09:15	you took a look at a side
00:09:16	that I wanted you to think about
00:09:18	from the Jerry Maguire show.
00:09:20	And I wouldn't mind
00:09:22	Okay, great.
00:09:27	-"Jerry enters."
00:09:29	-"Dorothy seated." -Just
00:09:30	start with the word "hello."
00:09:32	"Hello. Hello.
00:09:35	"I'm looking for my wife!
00:09:39	-"Shut up, women." That
00:09:40	was improvisation. -Fine.
00:09:42	"I couldn't hear your voice
00:09:44	or laugh about it with you."
00:10:05	-All right, let me stop...
00:10:06	Wait. -No, wait, wait. I...
00:10:07	Let me stop for 2 minutes.
00:10:08	Let me stop you right there.
00:10:10	Nowhere in the script does it say
00:10:13	he pauses for an inordinate period of time.
00:10:18	You're here because you are
00:10:20	looking to do feature films.
00:10:22	I wanna be a star.
00:10:23	-In?
00:10:27	-Can you make that happen?
00:10:28	-What?
00:10:31	But he did get me a starring role
00:10:33	in a top TV show as an extra.
00:10:38	All right, picture's next.
00:10:39	Last looks, please.
00:10:44	Set.
00:10:45	-Background.
00:10:48	Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
00:10:49	it gives me no pleasure at all
00:10:51	to speak to you this afternoon.
00:10:55	The defendant, as you know,
00:10:57	has served our municipality for more
00:11:00	than 12 years as city controller.
00:11:02	So I was pained to learn that his debts
00:11:06	compelled him to accept hundreds
00:11:08	of thousands of dollars in bribes.
00:11:11	-Cut!
00:11:14	-More or less?
00:11:16	-Less. Okay.
00:11:17	Sure. Thank you.
00:11:23	-Set.
00:11:24	Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
00:11:25	I'm afraid it gives me no pleasure at
00:11:27	all to speak to you this afternoon.
00:11:29	As you know, the defendant has served
00:11:30	our municipality as city controller
00:11:32	for more than 12 years,
00:11:34	and I have known him personally
00:11:35	for most of that time.
00:11:40	So I was very pained to learn that
00:11:42	his personal debts compelled
00:11:44	him to accept bribes.
00:11:46	-Cut!
00:11:47	-Okay.
00:11:50	Sorry.
00:11:52	-Should we just go again?
00:11:54	As you know, the defendant
00:11:57	has served this municipality as city
00:11:59	controller for more than 12 years,
00:12:01	and I have personally known
00:12:03	him for most of that time.
00:12:05	That is why I was very pained to learn...
00:12:08	Cut. Sorry, I'm not feeling
00:12:09	this one. Could we go again?
00:12:11	This way.
00:12:30	You were actually my second choice.
00:12:32	I was going to go to the salon that
00:12:35	maintains Salma Hayek's inner thighs,
00:12:39	but the team that do it were
00:12:40	booked up for the next 4 days
00:12:42	because she's got the Elle Style Awards.
00:12:44	And they said they're, like, really,
00:12:46	really exhausted after they do her.
00:12:48	They're exhausted
00:12:51	She must have a lot of hair.
00:12:53	They say that after a waxing,
00:12:55	there's enough to stuff a mattress.
00:12:58	Well. Speaking of rectums,
00:12:59	let's get you clean.
00:13:01	-Okay. There we go.
00:13:03	Yeah, sure.
00:13:06	There you go. Now there's wax in there.
00:13:08	Telephone.
00:13:09	-Hello?
00:13:12	Lloyd, hi. How are you?
00:13:13	I just got off the phone with the network.
00:13:15	They've agreed to do a screening.
00:13:16	Great! Das is all maximum Santzgaut!
00:13:19	In 2 days. I got them to pay for
00:13:21	a focus group for the show.
00:13:23	I think you just scraped my anus.
00:13:25	I did. I got you clean.
00:13:26	My stinker is slightly
00:13:27	burning. Is that normal?
00:13:29	What?
00:13:30	No, that was to the lady who
00:13:31	is... I'm in the salon, yes.
00:13:33	She's just washing my Arschwitz.
00:13:35	Is there any way we can get something
00:13:36	together enough to put it on?
00:13:38	-Okay, sure. -All right. I'm
00:13:39	gonna call them right now.
00:13:40	Are you using Vaseline?
00:13:42	No, lotion.
00:13:43	Could you take your finger
00:13:45	out of my Arschenholer?
00:13:46	All right. I think, guys, we're finished.
00:13:48	Once again, "Can you take my finger,
00:13:50	your finger out of my ass,"
00:13:51	is what the guy just said on the phone.
00:13:53	No, Lloyd, I was not speaking to you.
00:13:54	I was just talking to the woman here.
00:13:56	Who's got the audio?
00:13:58	I want to hear the audio
00:13:59	back. I want you to hear...
00:14:00	I want you to hear
00:14:03	Play it back. Talking about what?
00:14:30	Can you be quiet?
00:14:34	Hello, hello. Hey, can you come in?
00:14:37	Do any of you guys
00:14:43	-Hi. How are you?
00:14:45	-I'm Brüno. Great to have you
00:14:46	here. -It's nice to meet you.
00:14:48	Come and sit on our great furniture.
00:14:53	These are our Mexican chair people.
00:14:56	Demi Moore has 2 of them in her house.
00:14:59	Yeah, if you sit here.
00:15:01	If you sit on that one.
00:15:05	Also, so tell me about
00:15:09	How important is it for
00:15:11	you to help other people?
00:15:14	Helping other people is so vital to my life.
00:15:17	It's like the air that I breathe
00:15:19	and the water that I drink.
00:15:21	-Please, have some water. -It is
00:15:23	extremely, extremely important for me.
00:15:26	You give love to other people and
00:15:27	you get love back in spades.
00:15:29	And I just feel like that's been my life.
00:15:32	Great. You must be hungry.
00:15:33	Let's bring in some food.
00:15:35	Oh, my God.
00:15:38	-Have some.
00:15:40	I'm sorry. This is really not good.
00:15:42	We're leaving.
00:15:44	Come back, please.
00:15:52	Yes, yes, I understand.
00:15:57	Okay, but... Okay. Okay.
00:16:00	Yes. Thank you.
00:16:09	Minimum Santzgaut.
00:16:13	Puffy Vater?
00:16:17	Reese Witterspinzel?
00:16:19	Stevie Wunderbar?
00:16:22	Wilhelm Schmidt?
00:16:25	Bradolf Pittler?
00:16:45	I think this focus group is really gonna be
00:16:48	a very interesting example
00:16:49	of how it's gonna play out.
00:16:51	I actually got an interview mit Harrison Ford.
00:16:55	-Very good. Very good.
00:16:56	So, you probably already know, today we're
00:16:58	going to be looking at a new TV show,
00:16:59	A-List Celebrity Max Out mit Brüno.
00:17:02	-Howdy, I'm Lloyd Robinson.
00:17:05	Hi. Hi. Great.
00:17:07	Me und Lloyd, we haven't actually
00:17:08	spoke since the other day
00:17:10	when I was getting my anus bleached.
00:17:15	We won't go there, please.
00:17:17	-We won't go there. Yeah.
00:17:18	difficult issue on the phone.
00:17:20	And it's very important
00:17:21	what scores you give it,
00:17:22	because if the show scores over an 85%,,
00:17:24	the network's obviously gonna be
00:17:26	very interested. So take a look.
00:17:28	-Absolutely.
00:17:30	Who's ready to max out with
00:17:32	loads of celebrities? I am.
00:17:35	Because das ist A-List Celebrity Max Out.
00:17:53	-How are you?
00:17:55	Okay, so this is the part of the show,
00:17:56	it's called Future Kinder.
00:17:57	People who are pregnant,
00:17:59	we've managed to get
00:18:00	-It's totally great.
00:18:01	Okay, it is Britney's sister. I
00:18:03	can't even remember her name.
00:18:05	-What's her name?
00:18:07	Jamie Lynn Spears.
00:18:09	No.
00:18:13	Okay, let's see
00:18:17	All right. What do you think there?
00:18:18	Is that a white-trash foetus?
00:18:20	Yeah. Totally.
00:18:21	She's got her arms up like she's a A-lister.
00:18:24	Newsflash, you're in a
00:18:25	C-lister's womb. Am I right?
00:18:27	Worse. I think, like, D.
00:18:29	Do you think this kid is retarded?
00:18:31	Definitely the hands look way too big,
00:18:33	and the ears, like, have
00:18:34	not been developed yet.
00:18:35	-Yeah, so keep it or abort it?
00:18:40	Und now, my exclusive
00:18:42	interview mit Harrison Ford
00:18:45	is only moments away. But first,
00:18:48	some more dancing mit Brüno.
00:19:00	That's right. It's the time
00:19:02	you've all been waiting for.
00:19:04	It's my one-on-one, exclusive
00:19:07	interview mit Harrison Ford.
00:19:11	-Also, here I am mit Harrison Ford.
00:19:15	What's that?
00:19:30	That's actually mine.
00:19:32	-More champagne?
00:19:38	Brüno!
00:19:45	The end bit was Lloyd's idea.
00:19:47	The last bit was? Lloyd's?
00:19:52	So if you could describe
00:19:53	this show in one sentence...
00:19:55	Can anybody give me one sentence?
00:19:57	-Go ahead. -The worst piece
00:19:58	of crap I have ever seen.
00:20:00	There's always one who's against it. Those...
00:20:03	In any group, there's always one.
00:20:04	What sick human being came
00:20:05	up with something like this?
00:20:07	Well, there's always 2.
00:20:09	I wanted to poke my eyes out
00:20:12	You'd have to borrow the needles from me.
00:20:15	Lloyd, we need to distract him
00:20:16	-from listening to this.
00:20:17	-You can't. You can't.
00:20:18	-We need to distract him.
00:20:19	-Kiss me.
00:20:20	No logical person would
00:20:22	consider a show like this
00:20:24	unless they had some sort of
00:20:25	a mental or moral defect.
00:20:28	Everything.
00:20:32	Oh, my God.
00:20:34	Let me have a look at those.
00:20:35	"The host is a talentless idiot."
00:20:39	Is this the dancing of a talentless idiot?
00:20:45	-I would say that it is.
00:20:47	Please, where you going?
00:20:48	Please, this is my career. I
00:20:49	put all my money into this.
00:21:27	I'm here with Congressman Ron Paul,
00:21:30	who was the 2008 presidential candidate.
00:21:34	So tell me, who are you wearing?
00:21:37	Well, I don't even know because
00:21:38	it's pretty conventional.
00:21:40	And I'm pretty, in that
00:21:41	sense, pretty ordinary.
00:21:43	But the message is not ordinary.
00:21:51	Sure.
00:22:00	-Do you want some champagne?
00:22:01	-I don't care for any. No.
00:22:03	There's no ice bucket, but I
00:22:04	know a good place to put it.
00:22:07	Yeah, you were great in there. Have
00:22:09	you done a lot of television before?
00:22:11	Well, off and on throughout the years.
00:22:13	This last year, a tremendous amount.
00:22:15	-Sure.
00:22:17	Do you want some strawberries
00:22:18	-or maybe some oysters?
00:22:21	I'm gonna light some candles if it's okay.
00:22:24	Really loosens you up.
00:22:27	Has anyone ever told you you
00:22:29	look like Enrique Iglesias?
00:22:32	Of course not. You're much cuter.
00:22:39	I love music.
00:22:44	And dancing. I used to be a dancer.
00:23:04	-All right! Get out of here!
00:23:07	-All right, this has ended.
00:23:10	That guy is queerer than the blazes. He
00:23:12	took his clothes off. Let's get going.
00:23:14	-What happened?
00:23:16	He put a hit on me.
00:23:18	I couldn't even schtupp RuPaul.
00:23:21	How would I become weltfamous?
00:23:23	Ich decided to seek advice from
00:23:25	the wisest guy I'd ever known.
00:23:27	I wanna speak to Milli
00:23:29	from the pop dance group Milli und Vanilli.
00:23:33	Is he in heaven? And if so, is
00:23:36	he in the VIP section there?
00:23:41	He says he's in a place with
00:23:43	green trees and flowers.
00:23:45	Can I ask him if he
00:23:52	He says there's some
00:23:55	will set up, like a foundation or something,
00:23:58	where there will be other people
00:23:59	involved that will benefit.
00:24:01	Okay, that's a great idea,
00:24:03	'cause if I do that,
00:24:04	then I'll definitely become world famous.
00:24:07	Absolutely.
00:24:08	There's something that he could do
00:24:10	that could make me incredibly happy.
00:24:12	-Can I kiss him now?
00:25:30	Well, good luck with your life.
00:25:34	Thanks to Milli,
00:25:36	despite having an eyeful of Schpunken.
00:25:39	Charity was a great
00:25:42	Also, Brüno just needed to find
00:25:45	the hottest world tragedy to fix.
00:25:47	I want a charity that doesn't
00:25:49	involve too much effort,
00:25:50	but is gonna really make a difference,
00:25:52	you know, really put me into the A-list.
00:25:55	Is there something that you,
00:25:56	like, that you believe in?
00:25:58	Well, I'm really into issues.
00:25:59	Yeah. Global warming's only getting worse.
00:26:02	-So...
00:26:04	Now, I think that would be... That's
00:26:05	something to get involved now,
00:26:06	so, we can just help ease the...
00:26:10	Like, after us, in order
00:26:11	to help for our future.
00:26:13	In order for everyone... It's just a
00:26:15	beneficial thing to be involved with now.
00:26:17	I'm really into doing
00:26:19	something maybe for Africa.
00:26:20	-Okay.
00:26:22	Saving some kind of extinct animal.
00:26:24	What's going extinct right now?
00:26:27	-I don't know, like elephants or
00:26:28	something. -And then make bracelets?
00:26:29	That's so bad. Never mind. I was
00:26:31	gonna say make bracelets out of a...
00:26:32	Make bracelets out of the extinct animal?
00:26:35	That's not gonna really work
00:26:36	though, because you need the...
00:26:38	You can't take from the extinct animal.
00:26:43	What's the coolest type of charity
00:26:45	to get into at the moment?
00:26:48	Save Dafar?
00:26:50	-Save what?
00:26:52	-Save Dafar, yeah.
00:26:54	Is that in, like, Iraqi or something like that?
00:26:56	Yeah, that's in the... It's in... Yeah.
00:26:58	Yeah.
00:26:59	Is there anywhere in the world that
00:27:01	no celebrity has tried to fix?
00:27:03	Darfur is the big one now.
00:27:05	-Yeah, no, it is. -What's the
00:27:07	new one? What's Dar-five?
00:27:08	-Yeah.
00:27:10	Ich was going to become famous
00:27:12	by solving a world problem.
00:27:13	But which one?
00:27:16	Clooney's got Darfur.
00:27:18	Sting's got the Amazon,
00:27:23	Luckily, there was still
00:27:25	one shithole left to fix,
00:27:27	the Middle-earth.
00:27:30	Mein Plan was to get both sides to sign a
00:27:32	peace deal in front of the world's press,
00:27:36	making Brüno über famous.
00:27:40	Hi, I love your hat. It's great.
00:27:55	Hey, great. Is that Marc Jacobs?
00:28:01	Lutz! Lutz! Start the car!
00:28:03	Lutz!
00:28:09	Why are you so anti-hummus?
00:28:13	I mean, isn't pita bread the real enemy?
00:28:16	You're confusing Hamas
00:28:20	-Hummus has nothing to do
00:28:21	with Hamas. -Do you think
00:28:22	there is a relation
00:28:23	So was the founder of Hamas a chef?
00:28:27	He had created the food and
00:28:30	then got lots of followers.
00:28:32	Hummus has nothing to do with Hamas. It's
00:28:35	a food. Okay? We eat it. They eat it.
00:28:39	It's vegetarian. It's healthy. It's beans.
00:28:43	Well, do you both agree on that?
00:28:46	We both agree that
00:28:49	So we're making progress.
00:28:52	Let's try and get a solution, right?
00:28:54	'Cause I'm not gonna be here
00:28:56	forever. Will you, the Palestinians,
00:28:59	agree to give the pyramids
00:29:01	back to the Israelis?
00:29:04	This is in Egypt. Not in Palestine.
00:29:06	I don't care where you put them.
00:29:10	This is about gaining
00:29:12	something for your own people
00:29:14	whether you believe it, whether
00:29:16	you were convinced to do that.
00:29:18	-But in any case... -All right,
00:29:19	okay. Take it easy, girlfriend.
00:29:20	-All right.
00:29:21	If I did not get these queens
00:29:23	to sign a peace deal soon,
00:29:25	I would not become famous.
00:29:27	So I decided to think outside
00:29:29	the Geschwindigkeitsbegrenzung.
00:29:32	I've written a song that I think
00:29:34	is gonna help us make peace.
00:29:37	In fact, I know it will.
00:29:40	I've written a song
00:29:43	that I hope is gonna
00:29:50	It's time for this war to end
00:29:54	Jews and Hindus, you be friends
00:29:58	This is the Middle East
00:30:00	Creating love is my mission
00:30:04	Don't kill each other
00:30:06	Shoot a Christian
00:30:12	Ich bin Brüno, dove of peace
00:30:18	Ich bin Brüno, dove of peace
00:30:25	Ich bin Brüno, dove of peace
00:30:40	Yeah, a bit more than that.
00:30:41	Ich was out of options.
00:30:44	My song hadn't worked, und I didn't
00:30:46	have enough ecstasy for everyone.
00:30:48	Ich was ready to give up when I
00:30:49	suddenly remembered something
00:30:51	that the Jude had said.
00:30:53	In the last few years,
00:30:56	and then they would broadcast
00:30:57	it to the whole world.
00:30:59	-To the whole world?
00:31:01	So what, the whole world gets to see
00:31:03	-these hostage videos?
00:31:09	Ich would become famous
00:31:16	I am going to say something
00:31:18	that is gonna get you so angry
00:31:20	that if you've got a gun on
00:31:22	you, you're gonna pull it out
00:31:23	-and shoot me in the
00:31:27	Your hair is sun damaged.
00:31:33	I'll be honest with you.
00:31:36	And I want the best guys in the business
00:31:39	to kidnap me. Al-Qaeda is so 2001.
00:31:43	I don't like.
00:31:44	Can I give you guys a word of advice?
00:31:47	Lose the beards, because your King Osama
00:31:51	looks like a kind of dirty
00:31:53	wizard or a homeless Santa.
00:32:09	Get out. Get out now.
00:32:12	Ich was encouraged
00:32:14	Ich was encouraged
00:32:15	But Brüno had a new plan.
00:32:17	It involved stopping off in Africa
00:32:19	on the way home for
00:33:09	Mein little afrikanischer
00:33:11	Freund was going to get me
00:33:12	on the cover of every magazine.
00:33:15	Also, ich hired a top photographer
00:33:18	und held a casting for the
00:33:19	hottest baby photo shoot ever.
00:33:23	We're gonna do like this religious theme
00:33:25	where my baby is gonna be
00:33:28	on a crucifix playing Jesus
00:33:30	even though my baby's black.
00:33:31	So it's pretty cool, no?
00:33:32	That's cool. It's kind of
00:33:33	like that Madonna video.
00:33:34	Yeah, it's really edgy. You know,
00:33:35	we're turning it on its head.
00:33:36	Why not? Come on. Whatever.
00:33:38	So. We're looking for 2 thieves to be
00:33:40	on the crucifixes next to my baby.
00:33:42	Would you be ready for your baby to be
00:33:44	strung up on a crucifix next to mine?
00:33:46	Fine. Yeah, I don't mind her
00:33:48	being up on a crucifix.
00:33:49	Sure.
00:33:50	Is your baby comfortable with
00:33:52	bees, wasps and hornets?
00:33:54	George is comfortable with
00:33:55	everything. He's fine.
00:33:56	Is he comfortable with dead
00:34:01	Yes.
00:34:02	Great.
00:34:04	Amateur science?
00:34:05	What do you mean by that?
00:34:07	You know, some untrained people
00:34:09	conducting scientific experiments.
00:34:13	-Should be fine.
00:34:14	her mixing the pots
00:34:16	-Okay.
00:34:17	-Yes.
00:34:19	Is she okay with
00:34:22	Yes.
00:34:23	-Okay.
00:34:24	Does she always have to be in a car seat,
00:34:26	or can she just, like, freestyle it?
00:34:28	Yeah. You can freestyle it, put
00:34:29	her in a car seat. Whatever.
00:34:30	If it looks better without the car seat...
00:34:32	Of course. Of course.
00:34:33	So what? You're travelling fast.
00:34:34	You're not gonna kill it.
00:34:36	Of course. Of course.
00:34:37	Is your baby fine with
00:34:39	antiquated heavy machinery?
00:34:41	Yeah, she's fine. She's been around that.
00:34:44	Would she be fine to operate them?
00:34:46	-Yes.
00:34:47	Is your baby fine with lit phosphorus?
00:34:50	Yes.
00:34:52	Excellent. Does he like it?
00:34:54	-Loves it.
00:34:56	A little sensitive subject
00:34:57	here. How much does she weigh?
00:34:59	She's about 30 pounds.
00:35:01	-Thirty pounds.
00:35:05	Can Olivia lose 10
00:35:08	In the next week, 7 days.
00:35:11	Yeah. I'd have to do whatever I could.
00:35:14	If there's a problem losing the weight,
00:35:16	would you be ready to have
00:35:17	Olivia undergo liposuction?
00:35:19	If that was a last resort and
00:35:21	she didn't lose the few pounds,
00:35:22	then, yeah, we'd have to do that.
00:35:25	Great. Fantastisch news.
00:35:27	We have chosen your baby to
00:35:29	be dressed as a Nazi officer
00:35:32	pushing a wheelbarrow with another
00:35:35	baby as a Jew in it into an oven.
00:35:38	Into an oven?
00:35:39	Congratulations. How do you feel?
00:35:42	-Great, if she got the
00:35:43	job. That's great. -Yeah.
00:36:17	O.J., you're going to be on television.
00:36:46	Welcome back to Today with Richard Bey.
00:36:48	Now, our next guest is a single
00:36:50	parent. Please welcome Brüno.
00:37:02	Where are you from?
00:37:05	I'm from Austria.
00:37:06	Austria. And what are your
00:37:08	impressions of the American people?
00:37:10	You see a lot of them out here.
00:37:11	I gotta say, I love American people,
00:37:13	and I love African-American people.
00:37:15	You're the best. You guys are the best.
00:37:19	All right, all right. Now,
00:37:21	you are a single parent.
00:37:22	-Yeah.
00:37:24	should have 2 parents.
00:37:25	It is, like, really difficult, you know,
00:37:28	bringing up a child without
00:37:30	another parent. Am I right?
00:37:31	-Right.
00:37:33	I'm hoping that I don't
00:37:34	grow old alone. Am I right?
00:37:36	True that. True that.
00:37:37	I'm hoping that I find
00:37:40	-No!
00:37:42	No, no, no.
00:37:44	Well, honey, you need to get it together.
00:37:45	Sugar, you're lost and confused.
00:37:47	-All right, now... -Listen,
00:37:48	you're just jealous
00:37:49	'cause you know I can get any guy here.
00:37:50	Go get them!
00:37:59	You brought your son here today?
00:38:01	-That's right.
00:38:04	Yeah, sure.
00:38:05	No. No.
00:38:08	All right, this is...
00:38:18	-What?
00:38:19	to get your baby from? Is
00:38:20	your baby from Australia?
00:38:21	I was in the Middle East, like,
00:38:23	solving the crisis there.
00:38:24	No big deal. Whatever.
00:38:26	And I flew back here to America,
00:38:29	und I stopped over in this
00:38:31	country called Africa, right?
00:38:33	Africa is a continent, not a
00:38:34	country, baby. Get it right.
00:38:36	Well, it is full of African-Americans.
00:38:38	It's full of Africans. It's full
00:38:39	of people of African descent.
00:38:41	No. That's a racist thing to call them.
00:38:42	African-Americans is the right word.
00:38:44	No. African-Americans are here.
00:38:47	No, they're called
00:38:48	African-Americans, girlfriend.
00:38:49	No, fool.
00:38:50	All right.
00:38:52	I swapped him.
00:38:53	-You swapped him?
00:38:56	Swapped the baby for what?
00:38:58	-For an iPod.
00:39:02	Not just any iPod.
00:39:03	One that was, like, limited edition,
00:39:05	red. A U2 iPod. Heard of it?
00:39:08	All right, but wait a second.
00:39:10	You are the baby's father now.
00:39:12	And you chose to dress that baby
00:39:14	up in a T-shirt that says what?
00:39:16	Gayby.
00:39:17	That's not the baby's name, is it?
00:39:19	No. I gave him, like, a
00:39:20	traditional African name.
00:39:22	So what's the baby's name?
00:39:23	O.J.
00:39:28	Stand up, please.
00:39:30	I think you're using him as an accessory.
00:39:32	I think maybe because he's a black
00:39:34	baby that might be your cue,
00:39:36	like how some people walk in the
00:39:37	park with dogs to pick up girls,
00:39:39	that might be your cue to get
00:39:40	maybe a down-low brother.
00:39:41	I don't know. What do you think?
00:39:42	I gotta be honest. He's a real dick magnet.
00:39:46	You brought some photographs that
00:39:48	you took with the child because...
00:39:50	I guess to demonstrate how
00:39:51	much you love the child.
00:39:52	We're going to put
00:39:54	That's the first shot.
00:40:00	Let's see the next picture.
00:40:08	You're gonna burn in hell for that one.
00:40:10	That's some mess.
00:40:11	All right. Do we have another
00:40:13	photo, or is that the last one?
00:40:15	There we go.
00:40:17	What is going on here?
00:40:19	If I'm having fun, I want
00:40:20	little O.J. to come with me.
00:40:22	I want him to have fun with me.
00:40:26	Hold on. Hold on. What's that?
00:40:30	-What is that?
00:40:31	-You're making the audience leave.
00:40:32	-They are scared of the truth.
00:40:33	Yes, ma'am? Stand up, please. Go ahead.
00:40:36	Listen, I don't see how you can even walk
00:40:39	out of here with that baby in your hands
00:40:41	without someone stopping you and taking
00:40:43	that baby out of your possession.
00:40:45	All right, well, you know, there
00:40:47	is a finale to this talk show.
00:40:48	Please welcome Shatonya Miggins from
00:40:51	the State Child Services Department.
00:40:56	Take the baby.
00:41:00	What would be the opinion, the
00:41:02	legal opinion of the state,
00:41:03	which is empowered to look after
00:41:05	children and their welfare?
00:41:08	This child is here illegally.
00:41:10	No, it's not. I made
00:41:13	And at this time, we're taking the
00:41:14	child into protective custody.
00:41:16	-You are not doing that. You're not
00:41:17	taking... -The child is going...
00:41:20	Get off me. That is my baby.
00:41:23	Give him back! Give me my baby back!
00:41:26	Give me my baby! Give him back!
00:41:28	Come on! Back!
00:41:30	Give me my baby back!
00:41:31	O.J.! Give me my baby! Give me my...
00:41:36	Give me my baby! O.J.!
00:41:40	O.J.!
00:41:54	O.J.! Give me my baby back!
00:42:11	You want some pie today?
00:42:12	Yeah. I haven't had
00:42:15	since I was, you know, 4 years old.
00:42:18	-Since you was 4?
00:42:20	Is that your boy? He's pretty.
00:42:22	That was my boy.
00:42:24	I'm so sorry. Gosh.
00:42:28	I think he was about, I don't know, 6 or...
00:42:32	-Was he? Was he about that age?
00:42:33	He could've been a midget.
00:42:35	So he could have been 10.
00:43:42	Good morning, cowboy. What's your name?
00:43:46	Lutz.
00:43:58	Get that out of my face.
00:44:00	Move that out of my... No, Lutz.
00:44:02	Hello? Engineering.
00:44:05	Hello, I apologise for the state of the room.
00:44:07	But can I assure you, the
00:44:09	toilet is absolutely spotless.
00:44:12	Can you look? The key, I
00:44:13	think, is over there, just...
00:44:14	No, I can't do this.
00:44:16	Yeah, Brian, I need you up
00:44:17	here on 20 immediately.
00:44:19	Well, no, it's 2 guys
00:44:20	handcuffed together on a bed.
00:44:22	And there's some contraption
00:44:23	with a dildo on the end of it.
00:44:26	And they're asking... They've been
00:44:27	staying at the hotel for a while
00:44:28	and wanted to know if
00:44:30	them because they can't get out of bed.
00:44:32	I'm pretty freaking flipping right now.
00:44:35	-Come in.
00:44:37	You were not meant to see this. You
00:44:39	find the key, I can get out of this.
00:44:40	Now, can you just look under that shelf...
00:44:42	No. This is not what was
00:44:43	supposed to be going on in here.
00:44:45	You're telling me, honey.
00:44:46	I should be chained to a 6'4"
00:44:48	Norwegian with a PhD in sucking dick.
00:44:50	That's not my concern.
00:44:53	Okay, well, listen, one other thing.
00:44:54	Can you switch off the television?
00:44:56	Because I made a fart,
00:44:58	and I am on the verge of buying Mr.
00:45:00	Magorium's Wunderbar Emporium.
00:45:02	That's unfortunate.
00:45:03	No, but I refuse to pay for Mr.
00:45:05	Magorium's Wunderbar Emporium.
00:45:07	I did not press it.
00:45:08	No, I'm afraid we are not
00:45:10	Hey, listen, you. What's your
00:45:11	name? Hi. What's your name?
00:45:13	-No, don't even talk to me.
00:45:14	You're like a Latino Paul Giamatti.
00:45:17	-Hey, don't talk to me. I'm not
00:45:18	talking to you. -Hey, girlfriend.
00:45:22	Also, great. Maybe they can let us out.
00:45:26	Excuse me, can you unlock us?
00:45:28	Please. Hello? Can you unlock us?
00:45:31	Please, can you unlock us?
00:45:32	Please. My assistant's
00:45:33	about to shit on my balls.
00:45:49	What's going on here?
00:45:50	What does it look like, Paul Blart?
00:45:57	Brüno.
00:46:28	Brüno.
00:47:25	Ich was at a low point.
00:47:27	Brüno had hit rock Arsch.
00:47:30	Lutz had gone, und ich had only
00:47:32	9 Freunds left on MeinSpace.
00:47:38	Lutz! Lutz!
00:47:47	I was about to give up
00:47:51	when suddenly it hit me.
00:47:56	All the most famous stars in the world,
00:47:59	Tom Cruise, John Travolta, Kevin Spacey,
00:48:02	they all had one thing in common.
00:48:06	They were all straight.
00:48:12	To become famous,
00:48:16	Ich just needed to find a
00:48:18	cock-aholics anonymous.
00:48:24	Things have got to change.
00:48:26	I want to become straight.
00:48:29	-Awesome.
00:48:32	can I still play the clarinet?
00:48:35	If it doesn't remind you
00:48:37	about some of the behaviour
00:48:39	that you engaged in when you
00:48:40	put your lips around it.
00:48:42	If it doesn't remind you of
00:48:43	that, then I say go for it
00:48:45	and play the clarinet with
00:48:46	everything inside of you.
00:48:47	If it does remind you of that,
00:48:49	then I say put it down,
00:48:52	give it away, let a friend hold
00:48:54	it until you know in your mind
00:48:56	you're ready to pick it up again and
00:48:57	it wouldn't remind you of that.
00:48:59	Und what about if
00:49:04	That... I wouldn't do that either because it
00:49:06	would remind you of the former lifestyle.
00:49:09	So you don't put any woodwind
00:49:11	instruments up your Arschwitz.
00:49:13	-Absolutely not. You know why?
00:49:16	Because that would harm my
00:49:17	body. That would hurt...
00:49:19	-Only if you lose the reed.
00:49:22	Well, that would... That would be bad.
00:49:23	Is there any music that I
00:49:25	shouldn't listen to? Any bands?
00:49:27	Sinead O'Connor. The Indigo Girls.
00:49:31	Of course, the Village People.
00:49:33	When I become straight,
00:49:35	you know, a Kuntmeister,
00:49:37	are there any new hobbies
00:49:39	-Do you enjoy hiking? Lifting weights?
00:49:43	Man, there's nothing like just working out
00:49:45	and lifting weights
00:49:48	around some other men who are not gay.
00:50:00	I'm totally irresistible to gay guys.
00:50:02	They see me und they
00:50:05	-Right.
00:50:08	If they get close to you, hit
00:50:09	them and leave the situation.
00:50:11	How do you spot the homosexual?
00:50:13	Very hard to do.
00:50:15	Because some of them don't even dress
00:50:17	no different than myself or you.
00:50:19	-Amazing.
00:50:21	It's kind of like terrorists.
00:50:23	If a terrorist has infiltrated
00:50:25	a police department
00:50:27	and he dresses like the policemen,
00:50:28	how would you know that's him?
00:50:30	What are obvious things
00:50:32	Obvious is a person that's being
00:50:34	extremely nice to them to start with.
00:50:36	So if someone approaches you in the street
00:50:38	und is being very, very nice to you,
00:50:41	you know that they are a homosexual?
00:50:42	Most likely.
00:50:44	How should I protect myself from
00:50:46	being attacked by homosexuals?
00:50:49	They probably would attack from behind.
00:50:54	So, again, if I am a homosexual,
00:50:57	and I'm just trying to
00:51:00	-Boom! You done moved in
00:51:01	the wrong range. -Right.
00:51:03	Let's say the homosexual
00:51:04	has got you on the ground.
00:51:06	Okay.
00:51:07	Und the homosexual, you know,
00:51:08	has got you down here.
00:51:10	-Right.
00:51:11	-I want to lock this, lock
00:51:13	this leg here. -Touching.
00:51:14	-Yeah.
00:51:16	Boom. As I roll across.
00:51:18	How do you protect yourself from a dildo?
00:51:20	So let's say I'm trying...
00:51:21	Here, you know.
00:51:25	Like that. You know?
00:51:26	Und disarm the dildo?
00:51:28	Yes.
00:51:30	Is it harder to defend
00:51:32	-No.
00:51:34	One is just as easy as the
00:51:36	other to defend against.
00:51:37	-So, I'm attacking.
00:51:40	-Like that.
00:51:44	Trap it, work the knees. Work the elbows.
00:51:47	How do you defend yourself
00:51:48	against the man with 2 dildos?
00:51:50	Coming in. Here. Boom.
00:51:52	Depending on his range. Boom.
00:51:54	Then to his face. Boom.
00:51:58	Okay? Kick around, boom.
00:52:03	He can't do nothing from there.
00:52:04	And if he's just running
00:52:07	Here. Boom. And then to the eyes.
00:52:11	-Homosexual attacking your bum.
00:52:13	And then come in and break his
00:52:14	arm. Take it here, take him out.
00:52:16	Break his arms. Boom, break
00:52:18	his ribs. Break his arms.
00:52:20	Okay. Thank you very much. Fantastisch.
00:52:22	-Okay.
00:52:24	That's just totally different than what
00:52:25	I've ever tried to, you know, work with.
00:52:29	So you were never gay?
00:52:32	It's ironic that you should
00:52:33	have amazing blow job lips.
00:52:37	Well, these lips were made to praise Jesus.
00:52:41	No, they were made for something else,
00:52:42	but you're just not using it for them.
00:52:44	Well...
00:52:45	Are there any activities you suggest
00:52:48	where I'll be surrounded
00:52:49	just by straight guys?
00:52:54	-Let's go! Let's go!
00:53:01	-Push ups! Sit ups!
00:53:05	-Hurry up. Get in here.
00:53:08	Make this bed. Hurry up. Make the bed.
00:53:10	But do you have something,
00:53:12	Make the bed!
00:53:13	Could you hold the sheet over there?
00:53:16	I'm not holding anything.
00:53:17	-Get down. Get down.
00:53:19	I said, get down! Do push ups.
00:53:21	This line right here is a
00:53:22	line that you don't cross.
00:53:24	This is TAC Alley. TAC Officer's...
00:53:26	You're in it again. This is my alley.
00:53:28	I don't want to be in your alley.
00:53:30	Yeah, well, get out of it.
00:53:31	Your finger's in my alley.
00:53:33	Not yet.
00:53:37	By the way, where's your
00:53:39	uniform? Go get your uniform on.
00:53:40	Do it!
00:53:42	Oh, my gosh.
00:53:45	What's up with the scarf?
00:53:48	That is, like, it's my own thing.
00:53:49	Let me introduce you to
00:53:50	somebody. Captain Miles.
00:53:51	Candidate, what are you doing?
00:53:53	Stand at the position of attention, candidate.
00:53:55	-Do it! Do it! -Head and eyes
00:53:56	straight forward, candidate.
00:53:57	Head and eyes straight forward.
00:53:58	Stand still, candidate.
00:54:00	That is not part of the uniform,
00:54:01	candidate. You need to take that off.
00:54:02	This outfit is too matchy-matchy as it is,
00:54:05	and so I was just trying to break it
00:54:07	up with some simple horizontal lines.
00:54:09	Do you have an attitude, candidate?
00:54:10	Do we detect an attitude?
00:54:11	-Sir, she's got an attitude.
00:54:15	Sir Officer Candidate, did
00:54:16	you just call me "she"?
00:54:17	-Get down, candidate! Now!
00:54:19	What type belt is that, candidate?
00:54:22	What is that?
00:54:23	-D&G.
00:54:25	Dolce und Gabbana. Hello?
00:54:27	-"Hello"?
00:54:28	-Front in the rest position.
00:54:30	Sir Officer Candidate, you deserve
00:54:31	a medal for exceptional skin.
00:54:34	What are you talking... What are
00:54:35	you trying to say, candidate?
00:54:36	Sir Officer Candidate,
00:54:39	in the Bitch Army the way you're going.
00:54:41	-Did you use profanity again?
00:54:42	-Did you use profanity?
00:54:43	But you're being really nasty.
00:54:44	The OC guide states that I will not
00:54:46	use profanity while I'm at OCS.
00:54:48	Yes, mein Führer. Yes, Officer Candidate.
00:54:51	-Hurry up!
00:54:54	-Yeah, this is mine. -You
00:54:55	better help your buddy.
00:54:59	Get out of my TAC Alley.
00:55:02	Get out of my TAC Alley.
00:55:06	-Hurry up! Hurry up!
00:55:13	-Salute!
00:55:15	Salute with your right hand.
00:55:16	-That's not a salute.
00:55:17	That's not a salute.
00:55:20	Can I tell you about the
00:55:22	person that changed my life?
00:55:23	Was it Karl Lagerfeld?
00:55:25	No, actually, his name is Jesus.
00:55:27	Jesus is in this room right now.
00:55:29	He never leaves us. He never
00:55:31	forsakes us. He's here.
00:55:33	Amazing.
00:55:34	That's exactly right. He's amazing.
00:55:36	You want to be famous. You'll
00:55:37	be one that's so famous, Brüno,
00:55:39	you will prepare the way for other
00:55:41	young men all over the world
00:55:43	who want to come out of the homosexual
00:55:45	lifestyle and make a change in their lives.
00:55:47	And they'll say, "If Brüno
00:55:48	can do it, then I can do it.
00:55:50	"How did he change?
00:55:52	And they'll say, "It's Jesus. He changed me."
00:55:55	But he wants to come into
00:55:57	Are you ready to make that change?
00:55:59	Are you hitting on me?
00:56:02	No, I'm not.
00:56:04	Okay, good, 'cause I just... That was,
00:56:06	like, really hot, that whole speech.
00:56:10	Are there any outdoor activities
00:56:12	that I should do
00:56:15	Absolutely.
00:56:17	-Hi.
00:56:22	-Mike. Brüno.
00:56:24	Hey. Great.
00:56:25	-I'm Donny.
00:56:27	Robert.
00:56:29	-You ever been hunting? -I've
00:56:30	never killed an animal.
00:56:33	Although, I did once suffocate
00:56:34	a hamster in Mykonos.
00:56:39	The women, eh? Do you prefer the
00:56:40	vagina or the mammary glands?
00:56:43	-I prefer the vagina.
00:56:46	I love a woman with a vagina.
00:56:48	Yeah.
00:56:50	My favourite.
00:56:51	Didn't see anything.
00:56:54	We were just talking about vaginas.
00:56:56	About what?
00:56:57	Vaginas. The woman's vagina.
00:57:02	Sharing stories and saying
00:57:04	how much we enjoy them.
00:57:05	Yes.
00:57:07	Really fantastisch.
00:57:09	Really wonderful things.
00:57:12	It's my favourite.
00:57:19	This is wonderful.
00:57:22	This is what rabbit look like.
00:57:30	Look at the 4 of us. We are so
00:57:32	like the Sex and the City girls.
00:57:35	No, we aren't, either.
00:57:38	Which one are you, Donny?
00:57:40	I ain't any one of them. I'm Donny.
00:57:43	That is such a Samantha thing to say.
00:57:50	I've never been
00:57:53	You haven't? How's it feel?
00:57:56	I feel a bit vulnerable.
00:58:00	You know, I'm 19 years old,
00:58:02	I've got a perfect body.
00:58:04	You know, I really don't want to
00:58:06	wake up tomorrow morning und find
00:58:09	that I'm torn in my Arschenholer.
00:58:14	You probably ain't the only one.
00:58:17	Me, either, definitely.
00:58:20	There's so many stars in the sky.
00:58:23	Full of them.
00:58:26	Makes you think of all the
00:58:27	hot guys in the world.
00:58:57	Do we all share one tent
00:58:58	or what's more sensible?
00:58:59	I hope not.
01:00:03	All right, God damn it.
01:00:08	Reverend BJ found me
01:00:10	and put me in touch
01:00:14	You look decent in that.
01:00:17	Look like a straight guy, how's that?
01:00:21	Women are good for us.
01:00:24	They're good even though
01:00:27	they appear to us
01:00:31	And we find that somewhat irritating
01:00:37	that they complain so much.
01:00:40	-Right.
01:00:42	We need many of the things
01:00:46	that, at first glance, are
01:00:49	annoying and irritating.
01:00:53	And women often don't stick to the point.
01:00:56	They're often talking about one thing
01:00:58	and then another and then another,
01:01:01	and they never get back to
01:01:03	the first point maybe ever.
01:01:06	I am repulsed by the idea of
01:01:08	making the sex with a woman.
01:01:12	The important thing is
01:01:16	somewhat, that you find
01:01:19	tolerable or interesting
01:01:21	and give them a chance to seduce you.
01:01:31	How did you get into it?
01:01:32	We, actually, our first time was on our...
01:01:35	-Our honeymoon.
01:01:37	Of all nights for us to swing, the
01:01:38	first time was for our honeymoon.
01:01:42	Und what is your favourite position?
01:01:46	That would be missionary or reverse cowgirl.
01:01:49	What's reverse cowgirl?
01:01:52	Show me. I'll pretend to be the woman.
01:01:53	Like, I'm sitting here, and...
01:01:54	Yeah, and so, if I'm the woman...
01:01:56	Don't worry. Yeah, so what?
01:01:58	You'd be sitting like that,
01:01:59	-and that's called reverse
01:02:00	cowgirl. -Right. Right.
01:02:01	And then when you're facing
01:02:03	me, that's called cowgirl.
01:02:05	This one here is cowgirl or reverse cowgirl?
01:02:08	This is cowgirl.
01:02:09	And then when you're turned the
01:02:10	opposite way, it's reverse cowgirl.
01:02:17	Und what other positions are there?
01:02:19	-Power driver.
01:02:21	69.
01:02:22	But this is the girl's position.
01:02:25	You don't want to be like this
01:02:26	There's missionary, doggy style.
01:02:28	So what's doggy style like?
01:02:30	You'd be bent over, like a dog does it.
01:02:32	Yeah. Like that?
01:02:33	All right, and then
01:02:35	If you was a woman,
01:02:37	-No, show me.
01:02:39	-You're a man.
01:02:40	Come on. What's the big deal?
01:02:41	It's just a couple of guys.
01:02:43	I'd be humping you like that.
01:02:46	I can't wait to do this to a woman.
01:02:58	Anybody want a sandwich or something?
01:03:04	Yeah. Great.
01:03:08	Very good. You've got great hair actually.
01:03:09	-Thank you.
01:03:20	That was great.
01:03:22	-Oh, yeah.
01:03:27	Fuck, yeah.
01:03:30	You're doing a great job.
01:03:32	Thank you.
01:03:34	Come on, Jack, look me in the eyes.
01:03:37	Look me in the eye. You can do this.
01:03:42	Dude.
01:03:44	Why would he look you in the eyes
01:03:45	when he's looking at a pussy?
01:03:46	-Why would he look you in the eyes?
01:03:47	-No, no. Just for concentration.
01:03:49	-He does not look in a guy's... -I don't
01:03:50	need you for concentration, okay?
01:03:52	-Look her in the eye. -This is a
01:03:53	fucking swingers party. Okay?
01:03:55	If you don't want pussy, if
01:03:56	you don't want fucking...
01:03:57	-No, I want...
01:03:58	and quit telling me to look
01:04:00	at you in the eye. Okay?
01:04:01	I didn't come here for no
01:04:02	fucking queer shit. Okay?
01:04:04	-Me, neither.
01:04:05	-Let's keep it at that then.
01:04:07	This is a fucking swingers
01:04:08	party. Right, guys?
01:04:10	I see what the fuck you're doing, dude.
01:04:12	-Hi.
01:04:13	-that queer shit on you out
01:04:14	there? -Hi. How you doing?
01:04:15	I don't need this motherfucker
01:04:16	touching me on the back,
01:04:17	telling me to look him in
01:04:18	the fucking eye. Right?
01:04:19	-I was just going to the
01:04:21	kitchen. -I know, yeah. Come on.
01:04:23	What's this shit? Let's take this off.
01:04:27	Let's maybe we get
01:04:30	-I think you broke that,
01:04:31	actually. -I don't give a fuck.
01:04:33	Yeah, there is... Let's get to know
01:04:34	each other a little bit first.
01:04:37	Know each other? What?
01:04:38	You must produce a lot of milk.
01:04:41	I don't want you to do
01:04:42	something that you'll regret.
01:04:43	You wake up tomorrow, you've lost
01:04:45	your virginity, and you feel ashamed.
01:04:47	You know, let's take this a little slower.
01:04:50	-We should reschedule.
01:04:52	Sit the fuck down. Don't fuck around!
01:04:56	No, let's do this the right way.
01:05:00	I go, and I sit down with your
01:05:01	father, we talk about this.
01:05:02	-If he gives his permission...
01:05:04	Would you quit being a little bitch here
01:05:05	and take your little briefs off
01:05:07	before I fucking rip them?
01:05:08	Wait. Yes.
01:05:10	-Yeah.
01:05:11	-Thanks.
01:05:12	I don't like this little shit.
01:05:14	Yes, well, I want to really
01:05:15	make this heterosexual sex.
01:05:17	It's going to be fantastisch!
01:05:18	Do as I say. Take that
01:05:23	-Don't... You fold them.
01:05:25	You gotta fold that neatly. You don't
01:05:27	treat suede like that. It stains.
01:05:28	Sit the fuck down. Take it off!
01:05:30	I've got an idea. Let's play a
01:05:32	little bit of dress-up here.
01:05:34	It will be erotisch.
01:05:35	What is this?
01:05:37	No, it's just a beard.
01:05:38	-Am I supposed to wear a beard?
01:05:40	Come on, it will be fun.
01:05:41	I don't need a beard.
01:05:43	Take it off! Now!
01:05:44	Once you put the...
01:05:48	-Fuck! Take it off.
01:05:50	-Okay, I'm going to do this.
01:05:51	Get on your fucking knees and
01:05:53	suck my spike here, bitch.
01:05:56	Okay. Help!
01:05:59	Don't fuck around!
01:06:03	Don't call me gay!
01:06:06	I'm gonna become straight. I'm
01:06:07	gonna become über straight.
01:06:10	I'm gonna be the straightest
01:06:12	man who's ever lived.
01:06:13	Und then I'll be famous.
01:06:15	You'll see. You'll see.
01:06:40	What's up, Arkansas?
01:06:46	You guys ready to see a
01:06:47	little ass kicking tonight?
01:06:50	Make some noise, everybody. Put your
01:06:51	hands together. Make some noise
01:06:53	for the host of the brand-new TV show,
01:06:56	Straight Dave's Man Slammin' Maxout.
01:06:58	Give it up for Straight Dave!
01:07:03	Straight Dave. Straight Dave.
01:07:26	Are you ready for
01:07:30	Who's ready for
01:07:36	Are you 100% hetero like me?
01:07:48	Who out there is proud to be straight?
01:07:53	Let me hear you say straight pride.
01:07:56	-Straight pride.
01:07:57	Straight pride.
01:07:59	-Straight pride.
01:08:01	I am so straight
01:08:04	the first thing I did was
01:08:06	brick up the back door.
01:08:11	You know why? Because my
01:08:13	asshole's just for shitting.
01:08:15	Let me hear you say that.
01:08:16	-My asshole's just for shitting.
01:08:17	-My asshole's just for shitting.
01:08:19	It's great to have an evening
01:08:21	with straight people.
01:08:23	It's great not to have any fags here.
01:08:26	You're a faggot!
01:08:28	Who called me a faggot?
01:08:31	Whoever called me a faggot come up
01:08:32	here, and I'll beat your Arsch.
01:08:35	Who called Straight Dave
01:08:36	a faggot? Come up here.
01:08:47	Let him in.
01:08:55	Who wants to see me beat this fag's ass?
01:09:00	Who wants me to beat this...
01:09:05	Fuck him up!
01:09:06	Get him, motherfucker!
01:09:10	Beat his fucking ass!
01:09:28	Kick his ass!
01:09:55	Fucking fag!
01:09:59	-Homo! Queer fags!
01:10:19	Stop! Stop!
01:10:28	Get out of my town. You all are sick.
01:10:34	Tell him we don't have no faggots here in
01:10:36	Arkansas. Take that shit somewhere else.
01:10:40	You pussy-ass faggot motherfucker!
01:11:05	Fuck that shit! Fuck that shit!
01:11:09	Fuck that shit! Fuck that shit!
01:11:29	The footage went everywhere,
01:11:32	und Brüno became über famous.
01:11:36	As for Lutz, we decided to
01:11:38	get married in California.
01:11:40	But because of the law, we
01:11:42	had to be a bit inventive.
01:11:44	I feel this is the biggest step
01:11:46	you'll ever make in your lifetime.
01:11:47	-It's a very big moment.
01:11:49	Am I going to be able to meet
01:11:51	her before we actually start?
01:11:52	Sure.
01:12:06	I... I don't marry 2 men or 2 women.
01:12:09	If she's a man, then how did
01:12:11	it give birth to our son?
01:12:17	You gave birth to a little black child?
01:12:18	Yes.
01:12:20	When did you have the baby?
01:12:22	I don't even know why
01:12:26	But even though marriage
01:12:29	we weren't gonna let it get us down.
01:12:31	We were happy. We had each other.
01:12:34	And we had O.J. back,
01:12:36	although he did cost us a MacBook Pro.
01:12:39	Plus, ich was now so famous
01:12:41	that I was able to record
01:12:43	mein very own charity video.
01:12:47	Subtitles: Arigon
01:12:54	I've written a song
01:12:56	that I hope is gonna
01:13:06	Put down your guns and bombs
01:13:11	and just make love forever
01:13:14	Okay, then.
01:13:19	He's come to heal the world
01:13:23	and make all nations calmer
01:13:32	I am the Austrian Jesus
01:13:36	He is the white Obama
01:13:40	He's the white Obama
01:13:45	War's just based on hate and fear
01:13:48	Stop fighting, North and South Korea
01:13:52	You're both basically Chinese
01:13:55	And he's Brüno, dove of peace
01:13:57	Hey, yo, Brüno, where the bitches at?
01:14:01	You are Brüno, dove of peace
01:14:04	You do it, fashion model
01:14:07	You are Brüno, dove of peace
01:14:12	You know, I love black guys.
01:14:14	Du bist Brüno, dove of peace
01:14:17	Brüno wants peace.
01:14:19	Either we gonna have peace, or
01:14:20	we gonna have motherfucking war.
01:14:23	I have a dream for the Third World
01:14:27	Clean water, food and teaching
01:14:35	In every village and every town
01:14:39	a place for anal bleaching
01:14:48	We need to rid the world of hunger
01:14:52	I'm like Bono, except much younger
01:14:55	He's only 19
01:14:58	Ich bin Brüno, dove of peace
01:15:03	Hey, hey, he gay, he gay
01:15:07	Okay.

Br no