|
Broken Hearts Club
|
| 00:00:22 |
That Cameron Diaz is hot. |
| 00:00:27 |
Dude, it's huge. |
| 00:00:28 |
I figure after the Laker game, I'll |
| 00:00:32 |
No way, man. |
| 00:00:34 |
- It's total sausage on week nights. |
| 00:00:38 |
It sucks. |
| 00:00:40 |
Amen, girlfriend. |
| 00:00:42 |
- What did I say? |
| 00:00:45 |
There isn't a straight man who doesn't |
| 00:00:48 |
as "girlfriend." |
| 00:00:50 |
But I was so butch |
| 00:00:52 |
Fine. I don't care that I lost. |
| 00:00:55 |
You should be proud to have lost. |
| 00:00:57 |
This whole exercise is an unabashed, |
| 00:01:01 |
This from the man that brought us, |
| 00:01:04 |
- That's different. |
| 00:01:06 |
If Larry Kramer knew this is how gay men |
| 00:01:09 |
Larry Kramer can blow me, okay? |
| 00:01:11 |
This is fun. |
| 00:01:12 |
Besides, that was 5 minutes |
| 00:01:15 |
- Group record. |
| 00:01:16 |
I was saying earlier-- |
| 00:01:18 |
Could I have |
| 00:01:22 |
- I can't help it. I'm a gym bunny hag. |
| 00:01:24 |
Yes, Benji, yours is a lost cause. |
| 00:01:26 |
I hate this city. |
| 00:01:29 |
- Cheer up,Jan. You'll make the team. |
| 00:01:32 |
Fuck off. |
| 00:01:34 |
It's from the three of us. |
| 00:01:37 |
And you wrapped it in your pants. |
| 00:01:40 |
That's very funny. |
| 00:01:45 |
- "Love, Here I Am." |
| 00:01:48 |
You're the only one of us that never |
| 00:01:51 |
Certain individuals less familiar |
| 00:01:55 |
might interpret that |
| 00:01:58 |
as a defense mechanism, a wall. |
| 00:02:01 |
In which case, this text would serve you |
| 00:02:05 |
and opening yourself up |
| 00:02:10 |
Okay, hint taken. |
| 00:02:13 |
I can't take a picture. |
| 00:02:16 |
I really, honestly. |
| 00:02:18 |
- Actually, this isn't bad. |
| 00:02:20 |
Good. Light's good over there. |
| 00:02:27 |
All right. |
| 00:02:32 |
Meanwhile-- |
| 00:02:36 |
{y:i}A lot of people ask me |
| 00:02:40 |
{y:i}Fact is, I don't know. |
| 00:02:43 |
{y:i}But what I do remember... |
| 00:02:45 |
{y:i}what I can recall is the moment |
| 00:02:49 |
- "It was when I met these guys..." |
| 00:02:51 |
{y:i}my friends. |
| 00:03:19 |
I still need to find a housewarming gift |
| 00:03:23 |
She's been your sister's girlfriend |
| 00:03:25 |
Don't you think you two |
| 00:03:32 |
Meanwhile, don't look now, |
| 00:03:35 |
I could kill you. |
| 00:03:37 |
You act like he'd never know |
| 00:03:39 |
He wouldn't even know I was a fag |
| 00:03:42 |
a cart full of kitchenwares. |
| 00:03:44 |
What planet are you living on? |
| 00:03:46 |
Not a person in this store wouldn't |
| 00:03:49 |
- Keep telling yourself that. |
| 00:03:51 |
Okay. I'm sorry, miss? |
| 00:03:54 |
Could you come here |
| 00:03:56 |
This man, you've never seen him before |
| 00:03:59 |
Tell me, which is it: |
| 00:04:03 |
I'll have to say big fag. |
| 00:04:06 |
- The first thing I want to say, Larry-- |
| 00:04:09 |
- Remember my thing with that? |
| 00:04:11 |
Anyway, Lawrence, |
| 00:04:14 |
that we've been going out... |
| 00:04:16 |
have been some of the best moments |
| 00:04:21 |
We've laughed, we've learned... |
| 00:04:23 |
we've tripped the light fantastic. |
| 00:04:26 |
And yet, I just... |
| 00:04:29 |
feel like something's |
| 00:04:33 |
What do you think, dear? |
| 00:04:35 |
I'm not sure. Fold your arms. |
| 00:04:41 |
Oh, gosh, yeah. Big nellie. |
| 00:04:43 |
It's not you, okay? It's me. |
| 00:04:46 |
I'm the broken piece, |
| 00:04:50 |
It's because deep down inside... |
| 00:04:56 |
I'm a lonely person. |
| 00:04:59 |
Are you reading that |
| 00:05:02 |
What? No. |
| 00:05:05 |
You are. You are totally |
| 00:05:08 |
It's just some notes. I wanted |
| 00:05:10 |
Oh, give me a fucking break. |
| 00:05:12 |
The light fantastic? |
| 00:05:16 |
What? |
| 00:05:17 |
Got an APB on a Caucasian male, |
| 00:05:20 |
160 pounds, 5-feet-11. |
| 00:05:22 |
Suspect is unarmed and has distinct |
| 00:05:26 |
That's how I'd call you in myself. |
| 00:05:30 |
You know, you are worse |
| 00:05:33 |
At least they don't presume |
| 00:05:36 |
I never said |
| 00:05:38 |
- Then what did you want? |
| 00:05:42 |
Linen sports jackets are casual. |
| 00:05:45 |
- Fucking somebody is not casual. |
| 00:05:48 |
While we're on the subject... |
| 00:05:50 |
if certain rumors concerning |
| 00:05:52 |
start popping up around town, |
| 00:05:56 |
Have a pleasant evening, |
| 00:06:00 |
That is such bullshit! |
| 00:06:31 |
Why do you bring them here, |
| 00:06:34 |
I am not in the mood |
| 00:06:36 |
As a person in a long-term relationship, |
| 00:06:39 |
- What you do is sick. |
| 00:06:41 |
Number one, you work here. |
| 00:06:44 |
Number two, if you're gonna |
| 00:06:47 |
have the decency to provide them |
| 00:06:49 |
I heard that, ingrate. |
| 00:06:52 |
You can start your shift early. |
| 00:06:55 |
Roberto, what are you |
| 00:06:58 |
This is bruschetta. |
| 00:07:01 |
Jack, that's Javier. |
| 00:07:05 |
If he cuts those tomatoes right, |
| 00:07:07 |
As a person |
| 00:07:09 |
I don't see how you're ever gonna |
| 00:07:12 |
if you don't mend your ways. |
| 00:07:14 |
Do you not start any sentences with, "as |
| 00:07:17 |
It speaks of my authority |
| 00:07:19 |
-It speaks of your boyfriend's insanity. |
| 00:07:22 |
- Thank God. |
| 00:07:24 |
Sorry, but, you know, |
| 00:07:27 |
Sorry doesn't feed the bulldog, sugar. |
| 00:07:29 |
Saw your prey on the curb. |
| 00:07:31 |
Last time I use an audition monologue |
| 00:07:34 |
You coming to the party,Jack? |
| 00:07:36 |
I just wrapped 1 00 pieces of cantaloupe |
| 00:07:40 |
You didn't. Jack! |
| 00:07:42 |
I couldn't let you have a birthday |
| 00:07:44 |
at least a little bit |
| 00:07:46 |
And in addition to which, |
| 00:07:49 |
The Broken Hearts jerseys. |
| 00:07:51 |
I will be signing up |
| 00:07:54 |
Please, I'm begging you, |
| 00:07:56 |
No softball team this year. |
| 00:07:59 |
Are you crazy? You know what kind |
| 00:08:02 |
It can't be that good. We lost |
| 00:08:06 |
Two of those teams |
| 00:08:08 |
Nobody's forcing you two to play, |
| 00:08:17 |
Leslie, Queen of Bitchtar, |
| 00:08:21 |
Good evening, Patrick. |
| 00:08:25 |
I'll be right there. |
| 00:08:27 |
What is it with lesbians |
| 00:08:30 |
I just got home from the office, |
| 00:08:35 |
So... |
| 00:08:37 |
what's the gift? |
| 00:08:38 |
It's a housewarming present |
| 00:08:41 |
Two months late. |
| 00:08:44 |
Looks like a coffeemaker. |
| 00:08:46 |
Well, you can shut your mouth |
| 00:08:49 |
Oh, we already have a coffeemaker. |
| 00:08:51 |
I've seen your old one. |
| 00:08:54 |
We got rid of that one. |
| 00:08:56 |
We have a new Webb 3000. |
| 00:08:58 |
- You already have a Webb 3000? |
| 00:09:01 |
It won't be the first time |
| 00:09:07 |
So Anne tells me you're jealous |
| 00:09:11 |
How do I look? |
| 00:09:12 |
- Great! Where's Hansel and Gretel? |
| 00:09:15 |
- You sure you don't want to come? |
| 00:09:18 |
- He said it's gonna be mixed. |
| 00:09:20 |
there were 60 men, 3 women |
| 00:09:24 |
and the parrot was getting |
| 00:09:26 |
That parrot knew the words |
| 00:09:28 |
Shall we? |
| 00:09:42 |
Do you have to do that in here? |
| 00:09:46 |
Parties make me nervous. |
| 00:09:48 |
- I'm relaxing. |
| 00:09:51 |
- What if we get pulled over? |
| 00:09:53 |
For starters, |
| 00:09:57 |
If we don't go home together tonight, |
| 00:10:01 |
- Let's not do this thing. |
| 00:10:03 |
This eleventh-hour breakup routine. |
| 00:10:06 |
I'm not breaking up anything here... |
| 00:10:09 |
because what there was to break up here |
| 00:10:12 |
Yet we're still sleeping together. |
| 00:10:14 |
We sleep together because |
| 00:10:16 |
not because we're boyfriends. |
| 00:10:18 |
- I don't want to talk about this. |
| 00:10:20 |
You just want to smoke pot, |
| 00:10:24 |
What's to talk about? We're |
| 00:10:28 |
I want more. You don't. |
| 00:10:30 |
I hang on because I love you. |
| 00:10:31 |
I wait desperately for the day |
| 00:10:35 |
and realize you love me. |
| 00:10:39 |
You hang on because it's easy. |
| 00:10:43 |
When you say it that way, |
| 00:11:09 |
Okay, wait. Hold on. |
| 00:11:12 |
Oh, easy. John-Boy Walton. |
| 00:11:14 |
Yes, honey, I always wanted to be |
| 00:11:17 |
- No, that mole. |
| 00:11:20 |
- Who's that? |
| 00:11:22 |
Wait a minute. It was the morphine |
| 00:11:25 |
- How did you know? |
| 00:11:28 |
The valley stream is clear enough |
| 00:11:32 |
Why should I keep this mirror? |
| 00:11:34 |
See, as an artist, it's crucial |
| 00:11:38 |
Right. |
| 00:11:39 |
I'm gonna get a drink. |
| 00:11:43 |
Definitely. |
| 00:11:44 |
I mean, you know, whatever. |
| 00:11:49 |
So how do you and Benji |
| 00:11:51 |
We fold jeans at Structure. |
| 00:11:53 |
Okay, my first television crush: |
| 00:11:55 |
Aquaman? Are you kidding me? |
| 00:11:58 |
No, you laugh, but he was a blond |
| 00:12:01 |
I don't like blondes though. |
| 00:12:03 |
- Swimmer's? |
| 00:12:06 |
Listen, boys, |
| 00:12:10 |
until you sign up... |
| 00:12:12 |
to be on the best team |
| 00:12:16 |
the Broken Hearts! |
| 00:12:18 |
So come on over here |
| 00:12:22 |
Free drinks for a signature! |
| 00:12:23 |
Oh, they'll all quit |
| 00:12:28 |
- That looks good, actually. |
| 00:12:30 |
I have to let it set |
| 00:12:33 |
- Guess who's outside. |
| 00:12:35 |
J. Crew guy from New Year's. |
| 00:12:37 |
- No shit. At my party? |
| 00:12:40 |
Come here. |
| 00:12:44 |
Over there by the dining room table |
| 00:12:48 |
There he is. Oh, my God. |
| 00:12:50 |
Shut the door. |
| 00:12:52 |
It's your birthday star |
| 00:12:55 |
We barely hooked up last time. |
| 00:12:58 |
How 'bout you? |
| 00:13:00 |
Who had a chance? |
| 00:13:03 |
I just live with him. |
| 00:13:05 |
It wouldn't have worked anyway. |
| 00:13:08 |
- Hasn't even told me he's gay yet. |
| 00:13:11 |
I know. I can't help myself. |
| 00:13:14 |
They remind me how great |
| 00:13:18 |
When you first come out, |
| 00:13:22 |
Possibility. |
| 00:13:24 |
Yeah. |
| 00:13:26 |
Then you find out |
| 00:13:32 |
- Oh, damn. |
| 00:13:35 |
Much like a Zen master, |
| 00:13:38 |
in the mundane tasks of your world. |
| 00:13:40 |
That, of course, |
| 00:13:43 |
I totally understand what you mean. |
| 00:13:45 |
It's that book. |
| 00:13:47 |
What's the book? |
| 00:13:49 |
Some book on Zen lessons |
| 00:13:52 |
One of Cole's ex told him he was |
| 00:13:55 |
so he thought it'd be best |
| 00:13:57 |
Dumb, gorgeous people should not |
| 00:14:00 |
when competing in the pickup pool. |
| 00:14:02 |
It's like bald people wearing hats. |
| 00:14:05 |
It's deceiving. |
| 00:14:08 |
- You open my gift yet? |
| 00:14:11 |
- Right there. |
| 00:14:14 |
Where's Paul? |
| 00:14:19 |
{y:i}Love, Here I Am. |
| 00:14:21 |
It helped me so much |
| 00:14:24 |
- Thank you, sweetie. |
| 00:14:26 |
I'll just put that |
| 00:14:30 |
I was wondering |
| 00:14:32 |
Ice. |
| 00:14:34 |
Yes, there is ice... |
| 00:14:36 |
and I will go get it. |
| 00:14:38 |
Hark! The party calls. |
| 00:14:44 |
From New Year's, right? |
| 00:14:47 |
I wasn't sure you'd remember me. |
| 00:14:49 |
Well, I do. |
| 00:14:51 |
I really didn't come in here |
| 00:15:24 |
That's my frosting. |
| 00:15:28 |
Dan, you gotta come upstairs. |
| 00:15:33 |
What's goin' on? |
| 00:15:35 |
You're kidding me. |
| 00:15:40 |
- What's happening? |
| 00:15:43 |
From Hawaii, where he's vacationing |
| 00:15:47 |
Oh, shit. |
| 00:15:50 |
No Streisand, no Bette, no Judy. |
| 00:15:53 |
What the fuck is a fairy supposed to do |
| 00:15:56 |
- Howie, there's gotta be something. |
| 00:15:58 |
- There's Celine Dion. |
| 00:16:01 |
No. Okay, here. |
| 00:16:04 |
"Beaches" soundtrack. |
| 00:16:05 |
Oh, thank God. Track four. |
| 00:16:08 |
I just heard. |
| 00:16:10 |
I was left for another man. |
| 00:16:13 |
And not just any other man, |
| 00:16:16 |
A trainer named Dash. |
| 00:16:18 |
I was left for a punctuation mark. |
| 00:16:20 |
We all knew this was gonna happen. |
| 00:16:23 |
- Patrick. |
| 00:16:24 |
It's not like he didn't know |
| 00:16:26 |
I tried to warn him before they moved |
| 00:16:30 |
I'm in the room, asshole. |
| 00:16:33 |
Nice. That's what I get |
| 00:16:35 |
We obviously have two different |
| 00:16:37 |
What does that mean? |
| 00:16:39 |
It means that when it comes to men... |
| 00:16:41 |
you delight in being the bearer |
| 00:16:45 |
You can disguise it all you want under |
| 00:16:49 |
but it ain't shit |
| 00:16:51 |
trying to pop |
| 00:16:56 |
Yeah, I knew Paul was sleeping |
| 00:17:01 |
But he said |
| 00:17:04 |
He promised we'd work things out. |
| 00:17:06 |
He lied. |
| 00:17:08 |
I'm sorry. You know what? |
| 00:17:10 |
This is the time of the evening |
| 00:17:13 |
so I'm just gonna leave now. |
| 00:17:17 |
- He hates me. |
| 00:17:21 |
The apartment was Paul's. |
| 00:17:24 |
He wants me out by Friday. |
| 00:17:26 |
We have a guest room. |
| 00:17:29 |
You're more than welcome to it. |
| 00:17:33 |
- I couldn't. |
| 00:17:36 |
Cole lives here too. I couldn't do it |
| 00:17:42 |
Well, it's sort of sudden. |
| 00:17:46 |
But... |
| 00:17:49 |
it's Dennis' house, |
| 00:17:52 |
then I guess I am. |
| 00:17:55 |
Then it's settled. |
| 00:18:00 |
Dennis, Cole, I-- |
| 00:18:02 |
You'll never, ever know |
| 00:18:08 |
I'm gonna need your strength now. |
| 00:18:14 |
See you guys. |
| 00:18:24 |
What happened? |
| 00:18:25 |
Paul dumped Taylor. |
| 00:18:30 |
Party's gonna break up soon, |
| 00:18:33 |
Howie, no. |
| 00:18:35 |
You know, |
| 00:18:38 |
My what? |
| 00:18:39 |
Your Rice-A-Roni. |
| 00:18:41 |
It's the ultimate '7 0s game show |
| 00:18:43 |
the thing everybody went home with |
| 00:18:46 |
It is not like that. |
| 00:18:48 |
It's different. |
| 00:18:50 |
Yeah. |
| 00:18:51 |
Oh, my-- |
| 00:18:56 |
Oh, don't do that. |
| 00:18:59 |
Because you know that |
| 00:19:01 |
Do what? |
| 00:19:03 |
You take off your glasses. |
| 00:19:05 |
You rub your eyes. |
| 00:19:07 |
And you're speechless. |
| 00:19:12 |
I still make you speechless? |
| 00:19:21 |
- Where's your jacket? |
| 00:19:23 |
Let's go. |
| 00:19:34 |
Do you wanna talk about it? |
| 00:19:37 |
What's to talk about? |
| 00:19:39 |
Gay men in L.A. are a bunch of 10s |
| 00:19:42 |
On a good night, and if the other guy |
| 00:19:46 |
- That's not true. |
| 00:19:48 |
I love you, and I know |
| 00:19:52 |
Patrick, maybe it's time |
| 00:19:55 |
with a different group of guys. |
| 00:19:58 |
They're the only ones |
| 00:20:02 |
Good night, Patrick. |
| 00:20:04 |
Oh,just before I forget, |
| 00:20:08 |
and since that's biologically impossible |
| 00:20:11 |
and since your genes are close to mine, |
| 00:20:14 |
and then it would be like the baby |
| 00:20:17 |
had I a penis. |
| 00:20:19 |
You wouldn't have to sleep with her. |
| 00:20:22 |
So take your time, |
| 00:20:25 |
Not to rush you, but we do want to |
| 00:20:28 |
like within the next couple |
| 00:20:32 |
So... |
| 00:20:34 |
talk to you tomorrow. |
| 00:20:45 |
- You can drive away now. |
| 00:20:58 |
Go home. I'll get the rest. |
| 00:21:02 |
Come, you spirits... |
| 00:21:03 |
that tend on mortal thoughts. |
| 00:21:05 |
Unsex him here. |
| 00:21:07 |
Now is not the time |
| 00:21:10 |
No, of course not. |
| 00:21:12 |
It's only 20 minutes to your next |
| 00:21:15 |
- Ten, if I'm lucky. |
| 00:21:18 |
Notice how subtly |
| 00:21:21 |
Notice how subtly I'm ushering you |
| 00:21:25 |
Good night,Jack. |
| 00:21:27 |
Happy birthday, Dennis. |
| 00:21:31 |
Don't get nervous. |
| 00:21:33 |
Little kids and senior citizens |
| 00:21:58 |
We should light a few more candles. |
| 00:22:03 |
I'm cool. |
| 00:22:04 |
Yeah, but we could use a little, |
| 00:22:29 |
How 'bout-- |
| 00:22:30 |
How 'bout some music? |
| 00:22:33 |
- Sure. |
| 00:22:35 |
- Whatever. |
| 00:22:39 |
You like the Carpenters? |
| 00:22:41 |
Play something else. |
| 00:22:48 |
You don't find Karen Carpenter's |
| 00:22:52 |
- No. |
| 00:22:54 |
Not "Close to You," |
| 00:22:56 |
What about the one |
| 00:23:00 |
"You're So Vain." |
| 00:23:03 |
- You should go. |
| 00:23:06 |
I'm feeling virtuous all of a sudden, |
| 00:23:10 |
- Is this about the music? |
| 00:23:14 |
- I can't do this anymore. |
| 00:23:17 |
I know what we're about to do, |
| 00:23:19 |
- Sure, you can. |
| 00:23:21 |
- I can, but I'm tired of it. |
| 00:23:24 |
Yes. No. |
| 00:23:27 |
I'm tired of sex with people who care |
| 00:23:31 |
and I'm tired |
| 00:23:33 |
I want something more... |
| 00:23:36 |
something else. |
| 00:23:37 |
I want someone who likes my music |
| 00:23:41 |
I keep forgetting your name... |
| 00:23:43 |
because my friends and I |
| 00:23:48 |
It's Ted. |
| 00:23:52 |
Well, Ted... |
| 00:23:53 |
I'm sorry. |
| 00:23:55 |
Normally, how you look in that sweater |
| 00:24:37 |
You scared me. |
| 00:24:38 |
It's my house. |
| 00:24:41 |
- Is Cole asleep? |
| 00:24:45 |
There's nothin' in there. |
| 00:24:49 |
You should try the cake. |
| 00:24:51 |
The icing looks gross, |
| 00:24:56 |
This is not what I need tonight. |
| 00:24:59 |
- You are not what I need tonight. |
| 00:25:02 |
I made that cake you just insulted |
| 00:25:06 |
It took me two hours, and I didn't |
| 00:25:08 |
'cause my friend's relationship |
| 00:25:11 |
Bummer. |
| 00:25:13 |
Everyone knows that birthday wishes |
| 00:25:17 |
I plan on writing to the committee |
| 00:25:25 |
Why write? |
| 00:25:30 |
Now you made the deadline. |
| 00:25:44 |
Come on. Make your wish. |
| 00:25:59 |
Thank you. |
| 00:26:02 |
Kevin. |
| 00:26:03 |
You must be "Ennis." |
| 00:26:05 |
That's Dennis. |
| 00:26:06 |
Somebody ate the " D." |
| 00:26:11 |
- Are these yours? |
| 00:26:13 |
I found your darkroom when I |
| 00:26:16 |
so I figured you were |
| 00:26:20 |
Or somethin'. |
| 00:26:22 |
- I like this one. |
| 00:26:26 |
We had to find an inanimate object |
| 00:26:30 |
I had just come out of the closet, |
| 00:26:33 |
but I was still feeling a sense |
| 00:26:37 |
I think it looks lonely. |
| 00:26:40 |
You're Benji's friend? |
| 00:26:42 |
Oh, yeah. |
| 00:26:45 |
but I like him. |
| 00:26:47 |
- Apparently not enough. |
| 00:26:51 |
Between you and me, I think |
| 00:26:54 |
You've been a hot topic of conversation |
| 00:26:59 |
What, he's been talking about me? |
| 00:27:02 |
Relax. It's just a crush. |
| 00:27:06 |
I mean, you should be flattered. |
| 00:27:08 |
By the next full moon, |
| 00:27:12 |
I don't get you guys. |
| 00:27:14 |
Is that all you do, |
| 00:27:17 |
Either that or we talk about men. |
| 00:27:21 |
Yeah, well... |
| 00:27:22 |
I think it's really gay. |
| 00:27:27 |
- You're not out, are you? |
| 00:27:29 |
You're not just a newbie. |
| 00:27:33 |
- I don't think it's anyone's business. |
| 00:27:36 |
- I'm getting tired of being asked. |
| 00:27:39 |
Why do I have to tell anyone anyway? |
| 00:27:41 |
Maybe I'm straight. Maybe I'm gay. |
| 00:27:45 |
Maybe I should say good night. |
| 00:27:47 |
Yeah. Good night. |
| 00:27:55 |
You're right. |
| 00:27:57 |
It looks lonely. |
| 00:28:10 |
{y:i}I can't decide if my friends are |
| 00:28:13 |
Clearly, without them, |
| 00:28:16 |
but with them... |
| 00:28:19 |
I don't know if I'll ever be able |
| 00:28:23 |
Do you know |
| 00:28:26 |
Do you want to |
| 00:28:30 |
Yeah. |
| 00:28:33 |
I know they're my friends. I just |
| 00:28:37 |
Especially when it comes to men. |
| 00:28:39 |
Every time I introduce someone, |
| 00:28:41 |
Watch your posture, all right? |
| 00:28:43 |
Sorry. |
| 00:28:45 |
Take, for instance, |
| 00:28:47 |
Taylor's boyfriend |
| 00:28:50 |
Howie went home with Marshall again. |
| 00:28:52 |
Benji's quasi-boyfriend |
| 00:28:55 |
And my sister ends the evening |
| 00:29:00 |
It's like one big gay soap opera. |
| 00:29:02 |
I keep waiting for Sue Ellen |
| 00:29:05 |
and tell me she secretly bought |
| 00:29:09 |
I was watching this documentary on cable |
| 00:29:14 |
Benji was telling me about this |
| 00:29:18 |
In Somalia. |
| 00:29:18 |
They hang out with each other until |
| 00:29:22 |
They attack each other. |
| 00:29:26 |
I thought to myself, |
| 00:29:29 |
That's us. |
| 00:29:30 |
We're those monkeys, and I'm |
| 00:29:34 |
The only one who's unfaxed |
| 00:29:37 |
I mean,just look at him. |
| 00:29:39 |
He's gorgeous, |
| 00:29:41 |
He's the ultimate meanwhile, |
| 00:29:44 |
My dad would sleep with Cole. |
| 00:29:47 |
If you asked me, Cole is precisely |
| 00:29:52 |
We all want to be him, |
| 00:29:55 |
Actually, |
| 00:29:58 |
I wanna be Cole. |
| 00:30:01 |
Why can't God have made me Cole? |
| 00:30:06 |
My friends get a haircut with this. |
| 00:30:08 |
It's not like I wanna be Cole |
| 00:30:11 |
He just makes it all look so easy. |
| 00:30:14 |
I just wish it was, you know, |
| 00:30:17 |
To get a boyfriend. |
| 00:30:19 |
To be beautiful. |
| 00:30:23 |
Thanks, Betty. |
| 00:30:25 |
You always know just what to say. |
| 00:30:27 |
It's a gift. |
| 00:30:38 |
Where is my living room? |
| 00:30:40 |
- I just shifted it around a little. |
| 00:30:44 |
You didn't shift |
| 00:30:46 |
You shifted my living room out |
| 00:30:48 |
So where is my living room? |
| 00:30:50 |
Distributed evenly around the house. |
| 00:30:52 |
- Distribute it back. |
| 00:30:55 |
Start now, you'll be done in time |
| 00:30:57 |
Okay, Dennis. |
| 00:30:59 |
A furniture arrangement |
| 00:31:03 |
You have to live with it for a few days |
| 00:31:06 |
That's not true. |
| 00:31:08 |
I haven't had a shag, but I don't have |
| 00:31:12 |
to know that I don't want one. |
| 00:31:16 |
Thank God you're home. |
| 00:31:17 |
Thanks to Mufassa here, |
| 00:31:19 |
- Why do I even try? |
| 00:31:22 |
This casting director is bringing me in |
| 00:31:26 |
- That's terrific. |
| 00:31:29 |
- You need me to make a head shot. |
| 00:31:31 |
- Go get your negatives. |
| 00:31:33 |
You are a fucking godsend. |
| 00:31:35 |
I hear Kip Rogers is a big fag. |
| 00:31:38 |
Kip Rogers is not gay. |
| 00:31:40 |
Please, that's right up there with, |
| 00:31:52 |
My agent thinks that I have |
| 00:31:55 |
Says they're just looking |
| 00:31:58 |
Doesn't that bother you? |
| 00:32:01 |
- That people think I'm attractive? |
| 00:32:04 |
That's not necessarily true. |
| 00:32:07 |
When was the last time you got asked |
| 00:32:10 |
It's always they want a look |
| 00:32:13 |
or nice eyes. |
| 00:32:14 |
So what? Who gives a fuck? |
| 00:32:18 |
What matters is whether or not |
| 00:32:22 |
I guess. |
| 00:32:25 |
- So you like this Kevin kid? |
| 00:32:28 |
That's how you feel about him? |
| 00:32:31 |
Do I agree with his opinions |
| 00:32:33 |
Forget I asked. |
| 00:32:34 |
It's been a week. |
| 00:32:37 |
I think if this is gonna be |
| 00:32:41 |
- Another? |
| 00:32:44 |
- You're not taking home the gold. |
| 00:32:47 |
What is your excuse for not |
| 00:32:51 |
You don't even call them back. |
| 00:32:53 |
At least I have the decency |
| 00:32:56 |
Which brings me to my point. |
| 00:32:58 |
Why lead somebody on when you know |
| 00:33:03 |
Because what if it does? |
| 00:33:04 |
A relationship |
| 00:33:06 |
No more than you can base a relationship |
| 00:33:11 |
but that works just fine |
| 00:33:16 |
There it is. |
| 00:33:19 |
Well. |
| 00:33:22 |
Have you gained weight? |
| 00:33:24 |
What? Where? |
| 00:33:27 |
{y:i}I can't help it. |
| 00:33:30 |
{y:i}This awful panic that I'm gonna |
| 00:33:34 |
{y:i}So I go over there. |
| 00:33:36 |
- That's called being horny. |
| 00:33:39 |
I know horny. |
| 00:33:41 |
I've taken entire |
| 00:33:43 |
They have lecture series on horny? |
| 00:33:46 |
They don't call it that. |
| 00:33:48 |
You think I should |
| 00:33:54 |
Any time you hags |
| 00:33:57 |
I hate the outfield. |
| 00:34:04 |
Where did my mitt go? |
| 00:34:09 |
{y:i}Oh, say can you see |
| 00:34:13 |
How y'all doin'? |
| 00:34:16 |
You ready for this? |
| 00:34:19 |
Attaboy, Taylor! |
| 00:34:21 |
With a monarch's voice, |
| 00:34:23 |
and let slip the dogs of war! |
| 00:34:28 |
Strike! |
| 00:34:34 |
Our first game of the season, and they |
| 00:34:38 |
Not only are they better than us, |
| 00:34:42 |
Come on. Let's play. |
| 00:34:44 |
Look at that. |
| 00:34:49 |
Strike two. |
| 00:34:52 |
You know, if he was smart, |
| 00:34:55 |
- I tell you, it's the law of fractions. |
| 00:34:58 |
Howie thinks one |
| 00:35:00 |
It's a known scientific fact |
| 00:35:03 |
Including the bench, they've got |
| 00:35:05 |
I dare you to share that with them. |
| 00:35:10 |
Thank you. |
| 00:35:12 |
Where's Cole? |
| 00:35:16 |
I'll get him. |
| 00:35:18 |
Strike three! You're out! |
| 00:35:20 |
I don't understand why they don't |
| 00:35:23 |
Shut up, bitches. |
| 00:35:36 |
You're up in two. |
| 00:35:40 |
Thanks, Den. |
| 00:35:52 |
So you're still deciding |
| 00:35:55 |
I'm going with the shortstop 'cause he's |
| 00:36:00 |
Benj, hold these. |
| 00:36:02 |
Cole, if you had to pick a mole |
| 00:36:06 |
No problem. Catcher. |
| 00:36:09 |
Catcher? Yeah, right. |
| 00:36:10 |
The biggest meanwhile on the team |
| 00:36:13 |
The guy's a total breeder. |
| 00:36:15 |
First round at Jack's |
| 00:36:21 |
Who's the coach? |
| 00:36:23 |
That's Jack. Loves baseball |
| 00:36:26 |
- Shakespeare fan, huh? |
| 00:36:30 |
Before he opened the restaurant, |
| 00:36:34 |
See that man? |
| 00:36:37 |
Plays piano at the restaurant. |
| 00:36:39 |
Comes to all the games. |
| 00:36:41 |
We call him Purple Guy, |
| 00:36:43 |
Yeah. |
| 00:36:46 |
Wow. |
| 00:36:53 |
Hey, Mr. Catcher. |
| 00:36:57 |
You got a name? |
| 00:36:59 |
Sure. |
| 00:37:01 |
It's Low and Inside. |
| 00:37:05 |
Strike! |
| 00:37:08 |
- Thanks for the tip. |
| 00:37:12 |
My friends and I |
| 00:37:15 |
that one of you fire boys plays on |
| 00:37:19 |
That's interesting. |
| 00:37:21 |
- Who'd you bet on? |
| 00:37:24 |
Ball! |
| 00:37:30 |
So do I win? |
| 00:37:34 |
What tipped you off? |
| 00:37:35 |
I've been up to bat twice, and twice |
| 00:37:41 |
Ball. |
| 00:37:51 |
So what are the chances |
| 00:37:53 |
Sorry. I'm seeing someone. |
| 00:37:56 |
So was I. |
| 00:37:57 |
Strike two! |
| 00:37:59 |
Two and two, batter. |
| 00:38:01 |
I missed that one on purpose |
| 00:38:05 |
What are the chances |
| 00:38:11 |
About the chance of you |
| 00:38:20 |
Yeah, go! |
| 00:38:25 |
Print neatly. |
| 00:39:22 |
- You ever talk to him? |
| 00:39:26 |
I thought he said hi to me once. |
| 00:39:33 |
I wonder what Jack sees in him. |
| 00:39:36 |
I don't know. Whatever it is, |
| 00:39:40 |
The world's only prompt lesbians. |
| 00:39:44 |
Well, I'm off. |
| 00:39:47 |
- Wish me luck. |
| 00:40:07 |
I don't get it. |
| 00:40:08 |
I don't get it. |
| 00:40:10 |
See, that's the thing. |
| 00:40:12 |
That you would think there |
| 00:40:16 |
implies we were never really clear |
| 00:40:20 |
That lack of clarity... |
| 00:40:22 |
well... |
| 00:40:25 |
frightens me. |
| 00:40:30 |
What? |
| 00:40:32 |
- What's up with them? |
| 00:40:35 |
In the course of six innings? |
| 00:40:37 |
He got the catcher's number. |
| 00:40:45 |
- Where's Kevin? |
| 00:40:47 |
Obviously. |
| 00:40:49 |
- Something wrong here? |
| 00:40:51 |
We know all about this little |
| 00:40:54 |
We're here to shut that shit down. |
| 00:40:56 |
Relax, Tex. |
| 00:41:00 |
Was that what you were doing behind |
| 00:41:06 |
- I had a change of heart. Shoot me. |
| 00:41:09 |
I'm a little sick of your |
| 00:41:12 |
You toss one scam out of bed, |
| 00:41:20 |
You know what I meant. |
| 00:41:24 |
He can't even admit to being gay. |
| 00:41:27 |
What he needs right now are friends, |
| 00:41:31 |
Where you goin'? |
| 00:41:33 |
You're right. |
| 00:41:40 |
- He wants to sleep with him. |
| 00:41:49 |
Hey, we're going to Jack's. |
| 00:41:52 |
-Just fuck off. |
| 00:41:54 |
Everyone gets dumped |
| 00:41:56 |
It's the rule |
| 00:42:00 |
What happens next? |
| 00:42:03 |
You don't even know my friends. |
| 00:42:05 |
I know them well enough to know |
| 00:42:08 |
Fags? Go ahead and say it. |
| 00:42:11 |
- I wasn't going to say that. |
| 00:42:13 |
Maybe then you'd be less afraid |
| 00:42:18 |
Why can't everything just slow down? |
| 00:42:20 |
I promise it will, |
| 00:42:26 |
At least go have |
| 00:42:31 |
- One condition. |
| 00:42:33 |
West Hollywood's that way. |
| 00:42:37 |
Show me one thing |
| 00:42:41 |
- So you come here a lot? |
| 00:42:45 |
In fact, next to Karen Carpenter... |
| 00:42:47 |
this place is the closest thing |
| 00:42:50 |
The Carpenters? |
| 00:42:52 |
- You like the Carpenters? |
| 00:42:55 |
Here's to your first O.G.T. |
| 00:42:57 |
Obviously Gay Trait. |
| 00:42:59 |
Mine are love of the Carpenters, |
| 00:43:03 |
and intense fear of blood sports. |
| 00:43:06 |
I don't get it. Why be friends with a |
| 00:43:10 |
That's not why we're friends. |
| 00:43:12 |
It may be why we became friends, |
| 00:43:18 |
- Doesn't that drive you crazy? |
| 00:43:21 |
At least six times a year, I threaten |
| 00:43:25 |
Only I wouldn't go for just |
| 00:43:27 |
I'd bring my camera, finally take |
| 00:43:32 |
Really find my voice. |
| 00:43:36 |
Then something happens. |
| 00:43:38 |
A birthday, summer parties... |
| 00:43:41 |
Christmas, |
| 00:43:43 |
And I'm with them and... |
| 00:43:46 |
suddenly I can't imagine |
| 00:43:50 |
So I stay. |
| 00:43:57 |
Have you told anybody |
| 00:43:59 |
- A few people. |
| 00:44:03 |
- My sister. |
| 00:44:06 |
Yeah, it wasn't planned. I was home |
| 00:44:09 |
- With a guy? |
| 00:44:12 |
By myself, flying solo. |
| 00:44:14 |
Ouch. To what, gay porn? |
| 00:44:17 |
Oh, no. Worse than that. |
| 00:44:19 |
An article on Antonio Sabato,Jr. |
| 00:44:22 |
I thought my mom would be cooler. |
| 00:44:26 |
In high school, she caught me |
| 00:44:29 |
All she said was, "I hope you |
| 00:44:32 |
But when I told her I was gay, |
| 00:44:36 |
- How is she now? |
| 00:44:38 |
Still refers to the homosexual |
| 00:44:41 |
like they live on her block |
| 00:44:44 |
" Dennis, I see the gays had a parade. |
| 00:44:48 |
My dad would have been different. |
| 00:44:50 |
- You didn't tell him? |
| 00:44:53 |
My biggest regret: |
| 00:44:56 |
You can't say that. |
| 00:44:59 |
He died not knowing me. |
| 00:45:06 |
We want your sperm. |
| 00:45:08 |
What about cousin Jeffrey? |
| 00:45:11 |
Jeffrey's a Promise Keeper |
| 00:45:14 |
He doesn't have any genes |
| 00:45:17 |
I'm sorry. |
| 00:45:19 |
I told you we should have |
| 00:45:21 |
Drug me and jerk-- |
| 00:45:23 |
This is the woman that you |
| 00:45:25 |
- She's being serious. |
| 00:45:28 |
You two want the truth? |
| 00:45:30 |
You guys can't keep a plant alive. |
| 00:45:34 |
We haven't even discussed the realities |
| 00:45:40 |
Are you prepared to answer, " Mom #1 , |
| 00:45:44 |
Look at the three of us. What kind |
| 00:45:48 |
You know what? |
| 00:45:51 |
I'm doing this for your sister because |
| 00:45:55 |
She had this funny idea |
| 00:45:58 |
you'd get your shit together and start |
| 00:46:02 |
But I can see |
| 00:46:04 |
That's fine with me. |
| 00:46:09 |
Is that what this is about? |
| 00:46:16 |
Patrick, when you came out... |
| 00:46:18 |
you said it was because you couldn't |
| 00:46:24 |
And I have never seen you |
| 00:46:37 |
I'm sorry, gentlemen, |
| 00:46:41 |
There's not a single film |
| 00:46:43 |
that paints a portrait of a gay man |
| 00:46:46 |
What are our options? |
| 00:46:49 |
the friends of noble, |
| 00:46:52 |
compulsive sex addicts, |
| 00:46:55 |
and the most recent addition |
| 00:46:57 |
stylish confidantes |
| 00:47:00 |
Just once I'd like to see |
| 00:47:03 |
has not been laid in about three months |
| 00:47:08 |
And that's someone |
| 00:47:10 |
At least they would be someone real. |
| 00:47:12 |
Can you imagine if they made a film |
| 00:47:16 |
Maybe then we wouldn't have |
| 00:47:19 |
to "Steel Magnolias." |
| 00:47:22 |
He is so Sally Fields. |
| 00:47:24 |
- I thought I was Sally Fields. |
| 00:47:29 |
Which one am I? |
| 00:47:31 |
Julia Roberts. |
| 00:47:34 |
For your nerves, honey. |
| 00:47:44 |
What are you doing here? We agreed |
| 00:47:46 |
- I said it was too hard. |
| 00:47:49 |
We had a game today. |
| 00:47:51 |
- I'm telling you, I forgot. |
| 00:47:56 |
Since you're here, if you want |
| 00:48:00 |
- I can't. |
| 00:48:01 |
I'm trying to tell you |
| 00:48:03 |
There are no tables available, |
| 00:48:06 |
Oh, it's too busy here, so we should |
| 00:48:09 |
Cool. |
| 00:48:21 |
I didn't see you out there. |
| 00:48:24 |
I came in the back. |
| 00:48:25 |
I felt like an emergency piece |
| 00:48:29 |
How'd it go with the girls? |
| 00:48:33 |
It went. |
| 00:48:37 |
I miss anything? |
| 00:48:39 |
Same old song. |
| 00:48:41 |
Howie was going on about gay cinema. |
| 00:48:44 |
Sometimes I wonder what you boys |
| 00:48:47 |
You'd have no identity. |
| 00:48:50 |
It was easy when you couldn't talk |
| 00:48:53 |
You talk about it so much |
| 00:48:56 |
all the other things that you are. |
| 00:49:00 |
When I watch them, |
| 00:49:02 |
It's like I'm not even a part of it. |
| 00:49:05 |
They're all so much |
| 00:49:09 |
No. You know what? |
| 00:49:11 |
I don't mind. Really, I don't. |
| 00:49:13 |
I kind of like being attractive |
| 00:49:15 |
It's the closest I've ever gotten |
| 00:49:20 |
Help me put my dress on. |
| 00:49:22 |
Jack, you're not going out |
| 00:49:25 |
It's Saturday. |
| 00:49:27 |
The madness has got to stop. You don't |
| 00:49:30 |
So? |
| 00:49:31 |
So it's a disgrace |
| 00:49:34 |
Big fuckin' deal. |
| 00:49:36 |
And it completely plays into |
| 00:49:39 |
Again, big fucking deal. |
| 00:49:42 |
And your tits are always crooked. |
| 00:49:45 |
- No shit? Nobody ever told me that. |
| 00:49:49 |
Here, come here. |
| 00:50:00 |
I've never felt a man up before. |
| 00:50:03 |
There. That's-- |
| 00:50:04 |
Okay. Zip me up, would you? |
| 00:50:10 |
Oh, okay. All right. |
| 00:50:17 |
Everybody can't be the same, |
| 00:50:20 |
Everybody can't be straight. |
| 00:50:22 |
Everybody can't be beautiful. |
| 00:50:25 |
Some people |
| 00:50:33 |
We're the strongest, I think. |
| 00:50:54 |
Hello, boys! Hello. |
| 00:50:57 |
I'm sorry. I know we were supposed |
| 00:51:02 |
But you know what they say? |
| 00:51:06 |
So to start with, |
| 00:51:09 |
from my first platinum album... |
| 00:51:12 |
{y:i}Color Me Jack. |
| 00:51:16 |
Hit it, honey. |
| 00:51:20 |
{y:i}Shall we join the ladies |
| 00:51:24 |
{y:i}And make one great big lady |
| 00:51:32 |
You sure you don't want |
| 00:51:35 |
I do. I'm just not ready |
| 00:51:38 |
- I have the same number as Cole. |
| 00:51:41 |
I'll call. |
| 00:51:42 |
Okay. |
| 00:51:44 |
Good night. |
| 00:51:48 |
Bye. |
| 00:52:06 |
Just checking a page. |
| 00:52:10 |
Which, incidentally, |
| 00:52:12 |
Yeah, but I just wanted |
| 00:52:16 |
- About Kevin. |
| 00:52:21 |
Holy shit. Holy shit. |
| 00:52:23 |
- What is it? |
| 00:52:25 |
What's he saying? |
| 00:52:27 |
I got the part. |
| 00:52:31 |
- You're kidding me. |
| 00:52:33 |
I leave in a week |
| 00:52:36 |
Holy shit. I got the part |
| 00:52:38 |
- I'll be in a movie with Kip Rogers. |
| 00:52:41 |
No kidding. |
| 00:52:43 |
- It's a small part, but,Jesus Christ-- |
| 00:52:46 |
He's not gay. He's married. |
| 00:52:48 |
I gotta tell the other guys. |
| 00:52:54 |
Hey, listen. Tell the other hags |
| 00:52:58 |
Where are you going? |
| 00:53:00 |
To my sister's. |
| 00:53:02 |
To see if it's not too late to change |
| 00:53:05 |
- What happened? |
| 00:53:08 |
Nothing ever happens. |
| 00:53:29 |
You scared the shit out of me. |
| 00:53:32 |
I think that it's great |
| 00:53:37 |
Yeah, it is. |
| 00:53:38 |
And it's not that I'm giving you |
| 00:53:45 |
- I'm going inside now. |
| 00:53:48 |
Let me just come inside, |
| 00:53:52 |
Until you get off? |
| 00:53:54 |
- That is not true. |
| 00:53:56 |
You'll be kind enough |
| 00:53:58 |
on why Snagglepuss was the first |
| 00:54:01 |
You know, if memory serves, it's |
| 00:54:06 |
- that sent me running. |
| 00:54:10 |
My pot smoking is the source |
| 00:54:12 |
God forbid it was symptomatic |
| 00:54:15 |
I'm the one that studies |
| 00:54:19 |
- Ours was quite normal. |
| 00:54:23 |
When did you once express any physical |
| 00:54:27 |
Do you know Brian actually |
| 00:54:31 |
Do you know what that's like to be with |
| 00:54:35 |
You know, I congratulate Mr. Gorgeous |
| 00:54:40 |
So that's what this is about. |
| 00:54:43 |
Brian's better-looking than you, |
| 00:54:48 |
But if he was ugly, you wouldn't |
| 00:54:56 |
Thanks for not answering that. |
| 00:55:02 |
You know, Howie, |
| 00:55:05 |
but it would be nice if your attraction |
| 00:55:20 |
{y:i}My ex is dating a print model. |
| 00:55:23 |
{y:i}A blond, goy print model named Brian. |
| 00:55:26 |
Could that possibly hit |
| 00:55:28 |
He could have a big penis. |
| 00:55:31 |
Which one of you hags |
| 00:55:33 |
- Let's bring it down to seven. |
| 00:55:36 |
It's a deal. |
| 00:55:38 |
That's not Marshall's m.o. Unlike me, |
| 00:55:42 |
- Meanwhile-- |
| 00:55:45 |
- Sue me. |
| 00:55:47 |
For months you've been guilty |
| 00:55:49 |
- He's moved on and you sound worse. |
| 00:55:53 |
It's my guilt. |
| 00:55:56 |
I'm with Dennis. How can you be jealous |
| 00:56:00 |
I don't know. |
| 00:56:02 |
and you won't catch me going through |
| 00:56:04 |
Speaking of which, I haven't seen |
| 00:56:06 |
He's been curled up on my couch, |
| 00:56:09 |
When I ask him what's wrong, he gives me |
| 00:56:12 |
- "Phase five, phase five." |
| 00:56:15 |
If I were you, I'd remove |
| 00:56:18 |
Is that what they're teaching you |
| 00:56:22 |
Guys, is that the girl |
| 00:56:24 |
I'm so over "Y&R." |
| 00:56:26 |
You're excited for him to call, |
| 00:56:30 |
Even if I wanted to sleep with him, |
| 00:56:32 |
- So you do want to sleep with him. |
| 00:56:34 |
Don't you see |
| 00:56:37 |
We come out of the closet, we get our |
| 00:56:41 |
and we become more bitter |
| 00:56:43 |
The only thing keeping us from complete |
| 00:56:47 |
I just want him to see that |
| 00:56:49 |
Before he becomes jaded, |
| 00:56:52 |
Interesting. What you're trying to do |
| 00:56:56 |
- It's classic projection. |
| 00:56:58 |
- No, I don't want to sleep with him. |
| 00:57:03 |
- Benji's talking to Idaho guy. |
| 00:57:06 |
Idaho Guy |
| 00:57:08 |
He's been strategically working out |
| 00:57:11 |
in hopes |
| 00:57:13 |
Why do you call him |
| 00:57:17 |
I don't know. He just kind |
| 00:57:20 |
It's not really one |
| 00:57:23 |
I'm freaking out. |
| 00:57:24 |
I was in the middle of my squats and he |
| 00:57:28 |
Is that like fate or what? |
| 00:57:31 |
No way, little Benjamin. Gym bunnies |
| 00:57:35 |
Their lives revolve around sex |
| 00:57:37 |
And cat tranquilizers. |
| 00:57:39 |
If you intend on experiencing the joys |
| 00:57:43 |
it won't be |
| 00:57:45 |
I don't care. |
| 00:57:47 |
Hi. I turned around and you were gone. |
| 00:57:53 |
It's my number. |
| 00:57:56 |
Give me a call if you want. |
| 00:58:00 |
Yeah, definitely. |
| 00:58:02 |
That'll be cool. |
| 00:58:27 |
It's no improvement. |
| 00:58:30 |
I didn't pack a jacket. |
| 00:58:32 |
I hope Phoenix |
| 00:58:34 |
Should we call a doctor? |
| 00:58:42 |
He'll be all right.Just as long |
| 00:58:49 |
You know what? |
| 00:58:51 |
That Kevin kid called |
| 00:58:53 |
- He did? |
| 00:58:56 |
Sounded kind of cold, though. |
| 00:58:59 |
They never still hate you. |
| 00:59:02 |
It's funny, isn't it? |
| 00:59:04 |
Well, if it makes you feel any better, |
| 00:59:09 |
- Good luck. |
| 00:59:31 |
- "What is taking him so long?" |
| 00:59:37 |
It'll just be another minute more. |
| 00:59:40 |
A phone call? |
| 00:59:43 |
- Patrick, what happened? |
| 00:59:46 |
- I need material. |
| 00:59:50 |
Well, the whole "Hustler" oeuvre isn't |
| 00:59:55 |
Oh, my God. It's embarrassing |
| 00:59:58 |
- Did you bring the stash? |
| 01:00:01 |
You know my issues |
| 01:00:07 |
Hurry up! |
| 01:00:18 |
- Hey, sorry I'm late. |
| 01:00:23 |
Crank it. |
| 01:00:39 |
Call it crazy, |
| 01:00:42 |
Bear with me. |
| 01:00:44 |
I believe that there |
| 01:00:49 |
- Gay numbers? |
| 01:00:51 |
Have you ever given thought |
| 01:01:08 |
I've seen this sort |
| 01:01:11 |
The victim in the Miranda case |
| 01:01:15 |
Cut. That was perfect. |
| 01:01:48 |
I was so glad |
| 01:01:50 |
She mentioned you at her last cleaning, |
| 01:01:55 |
- I used to be. |
| 01:01:59 |
I was in this long-term relationship |
| 01:02:03 |
Five months and he broke up with me. |
| 01:02:06 |
He said I talk too much. Is that not |
| 01:02:10 |
'Cause I'm all about listening. |
| 01:02:39 |
I know what you're thinking. |
| 01:02:42 |
I mean, most gay men can't even say |
| 01:02:45 |
let alone stare at them |
| 01:02:48 |
But it never really bothered me. |
| 01:02:51 |
Vagina, vagina, vagina. |
| 01:02:55 |
It's just a word, right? |
| 01:02:57 |
I'll tell you the word |
| 01:03:00 |
Clitoris. |
| 01:03:15 |
Why am I shaking? |
| 01:03:16 |
It's your first gay club. |
| 01:03:18 |
If anybody attacks you, |
| 01:03:21 |
Nice to see you again. Things are |
| 01:03:24 |
- Breakup? |
| 01:03:25 |
Paul who? |
| 01:03:27 |
It's phase six. |
| 01:03:29 |
It's denial. |
| 01:03:32 |
Wow. |
| 01:03:49 |
Oh, my God. |
| 01:03:51 |
I've been looking |
| 01:03:53 |
- You want a drink? |
| 01:03:56 |
- Where's Idaho Guy? |
| 01:03:59 |
Dance floor. |
| 01:04:00 |
You guys, everybody's here. |
| 01:04:03 |
Fly, young one. |
| 01:04:06 |
Come on. Dance with your mama. |
| 01:04:09 |
- So what do you think? Ecstasy? |
| 01:04:13 |
Should we talk to him? |
| 01:04:15 |
They said, |
| 01:04:17 |
We've all messed around with stuff |
| 01:04:19 |
He's just having a good time. |
| 01:04:21 |
Dance? We're here |
| 01:04:24 |
Speak for yourself. |
| 01:04:26 |
Come on. |
| 01:04:29 |
Howie? Howie Mixner? |
| 01:04:32 |
Barry. |
| 01:05:31 |
I got one. |
| 01:05:33 |
Who would you kick out of bed? |
| 01:05:37 |
Okay, I believe this requires |
| 01:05:41 |
- I'd say Safer. |
| 01:05:44 |
But I would kick them both out of bed |
| 01:05:48 |
I'd kick Wallace. |
| 01:05:51 |
Who's got the 30? |
| 01:05:52 |
- What are you doing outside? |
| 01:05:56 |
It's July 4. |
| 01:06:00 |
Have you heard |
| 01:06:02 |
He only called once all month. |
| 01:06:04 |
He's too busy getting shtupped |
| 01:06:07 |
When will you guys get over |
| 01:06:09 |
every gay man in America |
| 01:06:11 |
that doesn't mean |
| 01:06:13 |
You know what? |
| 01:06:16 |
- You're not staying for the party? |
| 01:06:18 |
at my parent's barbecue. |
| 01:06:24 |
- Have fun. |
| 01:06:26 |
- I've got another one. |
| 01:06:28 |
The Grimace |
| 01:06:30 |
- Oh, my God. |
| 01:06:33 |
- That's a good one. |
| 01:06:36 |
Homo say bad party lighting. |
| 01:06:39 |
Get out. |
| 01:06:45 |
- Did you lock the door? |
| 01:06:48 |
Shit. One second! |
| 01:07:01 |
Yeah? |
| 01:07:02 |
- You're going to shoot in five. |
| 01:07:04 |
- All right. Cappuccino? |
| 01:07:08 |
- I'll see you out there. |
| 01:07:20 |
- That was close. |
| 01:07:27 |
I have to cancel tonight. |
| 01:07:29 |
My publicist wants me to do |
| 01:07:32 |
Today's my last day of shooting. |
| 01:07:35 |
- What would you like me to do? |
| 01:07:38 |
- Tell them you can't do it. |
| 01:07:40 |
"Sorry. I have dinner plans with |
| 01:07:45 |
- I'm not an extra. |
| 01:07:48 |
They have me shooting here |
| 01:07:50 |
My part is integral to the plot. |
| 01:07:53 |
- I'm not a fucking extra. |
| 01:07:57 |
I'm sorry |
| 01:08:01 |
I'll make it up to you. |
| 01:08:04 |
We'll go somewhere discreet |
| 01:08:07 |
- All right? |
| 01:08:11 |
Good. |
| 01:08:15 |
Wait about ten minutes. Make sure |
| 01:08:33 |
Hey, having fun? Good. |
| 01:08:43 |
Hey, there you are. |
| 01:08:46 |
How you doing? |
| 01:08:50 |
Everything all right? |
| 01:08:54 |
What happened? |
| 01:09:00 |
You told your parents. |
| 01:09:03 |
Just kind of slipped out. |
| 01:09:04 |
The three of us were in the kitchen, |
| 01:09:08 |
and my mom mentioned |
| 01:09:13 |
I said, "That's great. |
| 01:09:18 |
I bet she wishes |
| 01:09:25 |
They were great, Dennis. |
| 01:09:26 |
And then I started thinking, |
| 01:09:30 |
Why was I so scared |
| 01:09:34 |
- If I hadn't met you-- |
| 01:10:25 |
Morning. |
| 01:10:31 |
We're gonna be late |
| 01:10:40 |
Once more unto the breach, |
| 01:10:49 |
It's the height of irony, really. |
| 01:10:52 |
Here we are, bottom of the ninth. |
| 01:10:55 |
Our least able player |
| 01:10:57 |
We're either one hit away |
| 01:11:00 |
or three strikes away from going down |
| 01:11:05 |
If we could just get him |
| 01:11:07 |
The sad thing is, |
| 01:11:14 |
Come on, Taylor. |
| 01:11:35 |
Attaboy! |
| 01:11:41 |
Sweet are the uses |
| 01:12:19 |
"Sweet are the uses |
| 01:12:22 |
which, like the toad, |
| 01:12:26 |
wears yet a precious jewel |
| 01:12:30 |
And this is our life... |
| 01:12:32 |
exempt from public haunt... |
| 01:12:35 |
finds tongues and trees... |
| 01:12:38 |
books in running brooks... |
| 01:12:41 |
sermons in stones... |
| 01:12:43 |
and good in everything." |
| 01:12:47 |
Jack was a Shakespeare fan. |
| 01:12:49 |
That passage from "As You Like It" |
| 01:12:53 |
He would've wanted me |
| 01:12:58 |
Other than that, |
| 01:13:01 |
That was Jack. |
| 01:13:07 |
I'll just play something. |
| 01:13:10 |
Hopefully, wherever Jack is... |
| 01:13:14 |
he'll sing along. |
| 01:13:29 |
That's what Jack saw in him. |
| 01:13:52 |
- So where's Brian? |
| 01:14:01 |
You look terrific. |
| 01:14:06 |
You don't have to say anything just |
| 01:14:10 |
I'm not just saying. |
| 01:14:15 |
Thank you. |
| 01:14:19 |
I quit smoking pot. |
| 01:14:22 |
It's not 'cause we're not dating. |
| 01:14:27 |
It was just time. |
| 01:14:31 |
It's weird how you can need something |
| 01:14:35 |
not need it anymore. |
| 01:14:36 |
Just like that. |
| 01:14:54 |
It's so weird, you know. |
| 01:14:59 |
You're on something right now, |
| 01:15:02 |
- Excuse me? |
| 01:15:06 |
- What did that boyfriend give you? |
| 01:15:09 |
I look like shit because I've |
| 01:15:11 |
Unlike you, who has yet to shed a tear, |
| 01:15:14 |
- He wants to make sure you're okay. |
| 01:15:17 |
That's crap. Since I've have a boyfriend |
| 01:15:19 |
- You stopped calling us. |
| 01:15:22 |
Admit that you don't talk to me because |
| 01:15:26 |
You're a muscle boy's plaything |
| 01:15:28 |
That hardly constitutes |
| 01:15:30 |
That is more than you've ever had, |
| 01:15:38 |
His friends... |
| 01:15:40 |
they're not like us. |
| 01:15:42 |
When they go out, |
| 01:15:46 |
We're always so miserable. |
| 01:15:48 |
We make each other miserable. |
| 01:15:52 |
Why? |
| 01:15:54 |
Is it such a bad thing |
| 01:15:56 |
It is if you have to pay |
| 01:16:06 |
- What did I miss? |
| 01:16:09 |
Just spoke to Purple Guy. |
| 01:16:13 |
I can't go. I'm supposed to have dinner |
| 01:16:16 |
- Maybe I'll catch up after. |
| 01:16:21 |
I'm not gonna go either. |
| 01:16:24 |
I'll talk to you guys tomorrow. |
| 01:16:37 |
You should go with them. |
| 01:16:39 |
I thought maybe we could talk |
| 01:16:41 |
- We haven't really discussed-- |
| 01:16:45 |
- Could you tell me when is? |
| 01:16:49 |
You've barely even looked at me |
| 01:16:52 |
You've spent all week hiding |
| 01:16:54 |
Hiding? Is that what |
| 01:16:57 |
Can you even imagine |
| 01:16:59 |
No, you can't. |
| 01:17:03 |
So don't tell me |
| 01:17:05 |
All we did was hook up. |
| 01:17:08 |
We can talk about it later. |
| 01:17:11 |
You're right. |
| 01:17:14 |
All we did was hook up. |
| 01:20:23 |
Yeah, this is he. |
| 01:20:25 |
What? |
| 01:20:28 |
Jesus! |
| 01:20:32 |
Benji Waters? |
| 01:21:02 |
I just got the page. |
| 01:21:05 |
They pumped his stomach. |
| 01:21:07 |
- Can I see him? |
| 01:21:10 |
- Patrick's in there right now. |
| 01:21:13 |
- How the fuck could this happen? |
| 01:21:16 |
We weren't there. |
| 01:21:19 |
Did you two come together? |
| 01:21:25 |
What is his problem? |
| 01:21:28 |
Him and Kevin slept together |
| 01:21:30 |
You, Senor Disheveled, obviously came |
| 01:21:34 |
- Are the clouds lifting? |
| 01:21:37 |
I've been away all month. |
| 01:21:40 |
- You could help me out. |
| 01:21:43 |
Terrific. |
| 01:21:44 |
The one time you bastards actually keep |
| 01:21:50 |
Now I feel like shit. |
| 01:21:51 |
I think that's |
| 01:21:57 |
- I'm sorry. |
| 01:22:00 |
I slept with Cole |
| 01:22:02 |
You did exactly what you're supposed to |
| 01:22:05 |
And you did it |
| 01:22:07 |
It doesn't matter. |
| 01:22:09 |
No, Kevin. I was wrong. |
| 01:22:12 |
When I slept with you, I knew it |
| 01:22:15 |
And if there was anything I've been |
| 01:22:20 |
well, that would be it. |
| 01:22:22 |
So what, |
| 01:22:25 |
Or course I am. I've been crazy about |
| 01:22:35 |
- You were the wish. |
| 01:22:41 |
The problem is |
| 01:22:45 |
I thought that... |
| 01:22:47 |
all a relationship would take |
| 01:22:51 |
but it's so much more than that. |
| 01:22:53 |
Like what? |
| 01:22:55 |
Like the fact that I'm 28 years old and |
| 01:23:00 |
- That's not true. |
| 01:23:03 |
And I'm okay with it. |
| 01:23:06 |
I didn't get to be gay for 25 years. |
| 01:23:13 |
But I need to move on. |
| 01:23:15 |
I need to make my life |
| 01:23:19 |
instead of just my friends |
| 01:23:24 |
That's the only way I'll have something |
| 01:23:32 |
Do you see that? |
| 01:23:37 |
Tell me you see that. |
| 01:23:39 |
Can't you move on |
| 01:23:43 |
Not if that someone |
| 01:24:08 |
Hey, guys. |
| 01:24:10 |
Hey, hag. |
| 01:24:12 |
Why'd you go and do |
| 01:24:14 |
I'm sorry, guys. |
| 01:24:17 |
- I'm sorry, Patrick. |
| 01:24:23 |
I am so Demi Moore |
| 01:24:27 |
You can be Demi Moore. |
| 01:24:30 |
- I get to be Mare Winningham. |
| 01:24:35 |
- Which one do I get to be? |
| 01:24:41 |
'Cause you're just |
| 01:24:44 |
You can't help yourself. |
| 01:25:00 |
Marshall, I don't care |
| 01:25:05 |
Marshall, open up. |
| 01:25:11 |
What the hell are you doing? |
| 01:25:14 |
This. |
| 01:25:16 |
- All right, that's it, asshole. |
| 01:25:26 |
You told me once that you |
| 01:25:30 |
You didn't wait long enough. |
| 01:25:33 |
I've never been more awake |
| 01:25:36 |
And I admit it. I fucked up. |
| 01:25:40 |
there would've been something wrong |
| 01:25:45 |
And I wish |
| 01:25:47 |
I wish I could take back all the times |
| 01:25:51 |
But I'll tell you right now... |
| 01:25:53 |
I loved you. |
| 01:25:57 |
I still love you. |
| 01:26:01 |
It has nothing to do |
| 01:26:04 |
It has to do with you. |
| 01:26:07 |
Because you are sweet, |
| 01:26:12 |
uncomplicated. |
| 01:26:14 |
And you're so beautiful. |
| 01:26:17 |
I hope that you're happy together. |
| 01:26:22 |
works out and that he is |
| 01:26:26 |
because you deserve it. |
| 01:26:28 |
But if he's not and it ends, |
| 01:26:35 |
It's my turn to wait, |
| 01:27:02 |
- "You really don't need to be here." |
| 01:27:04 |
because Anne had a showing |
| 01:27:07 |
and because the baby book |
| 01:27:10 |
And no matter how tough you think |
| 01:27:13 |
- Is this ready yet? |
| 01:27:16 |
Why don't you just sit down |
| 01:27:19 |
- Why don't you bite me? |
| 01:27:23 |
- If I sucked tits-- |
| 01:27:26 |
It's ready now. |
| 01:27:32 |
That's the baby. |
| 01:27:51 |
Miss Thing, where have you been? I have |
| 01:27:54 |
I was at the closing on my house. |
| 01:27:56 |
Sorry don't feed the bulldog, sugar. |
| 01:27:59 |
Question. How much does Purple Guy |
| 01:28:02 |
It's your last night, hag. So you don't |
| 01:28:08 |
Surprise! |
| 01:28:47 |
I had forgotten Dennis |
| 01:28:50 |
I know. They're from |
| 01:28:53 |
So, did Leslie tell you? |
| 01:28:56 |
Oh, that is so cool. |
| 01:29:02 |
It's a Jack. |
| 01:29:05 |
I'm an actor. |
| 01:29:07 |
Kip Rogers. Wow. |
| 01:29:10 |
I hear he's gay. |
| 01:29:12 |
No, he's not gay. |
| 01:29:14 |
Okay, so check this shit out. |
| 01:29:17 |
Paul called me. |
| 01:29:19 |
He said he wants to talk. He said |
| 01:29:23 |
This is a good thing. |
| 01:29:25 |
for the final phase |
| 01:29:29 |
Try closure. |
| 01:29:32 |
Sorry I'm late. |
| 01:29:35 |
I told you not to take the freeways. |
| 01:29:44 |
It's for Europe. |
| 01:29:47 |
Look, got your initials on it. |
| 01:29:54 |
I saw that guy you came with. |
| 01:29:57 |
Whatever. We met at a club |
| 01:30:00 |
- You know how it is. |
| 01:30:05 |
I'll be back. |
| 01:30:07 |
I'll be here. |
| 01:30:10 |
- Okay, hag, you ready for your gift? |
| 01:30:12 |
- You didn't have to get me a gift. |
| 01:30:16 |
- It was nothing, really. |
| 01:30:19 |
I am pleased to present... |
| 01:30:21 |
the premiere |
| 01:30:24 |
of budding photojournalist... |
| 01:30:27 |
our very own European-bound |
| 01:30:49 |
- Where did you guys get these? |
| 01:30:53 |
This one's out of focus. |
| 01:30:55 |
After a few drinks, |
| 01:30:58 |
Taylor, get the pitchers. |
| 01:31:03 |
Let's play |
| 01:31:17 |
{y:i}A lot of people ask me |
| 01:31:20 |
{y:i}Fact is, I don't know. |
| 01:31:24 |
{y:i}But what I do remember, |
| 01:31:27 |
{y:i}is the moment |
| 01:31:31 |
{y:i}It was when I met these guys... |
| 01:31:34 |
{y:i}my friends. |
| 01:31:57 |
That Cameron Diaz is hot. |
| 01:32:01 |
Dude, it's huge. |
| 01:32:03 |
I figure after the Laker game, I'll |
| 01:32:07 |
No way, man. |
| 01:32:09 |
- It's total sausage on week nights. |
| 01:32:13 |
It sucks. |
| 01:32:15 |
Amen, girlfriend. |
| 01:32:17 |
- What did I say? |
| 01:32:20 |
There isn't a straight man who doesn't |
| 01:32:23 |
as "girlfriend." |
| 01:32:25 |
But I was so butch |
| 01:32:27 |
Fine. I don't care that I lost. |
| 01:32:30 |
You should be proud to have lost. |
| 01:32:32 |
This whole exercise is an unabashed, |
| 01:32:35 |
This from the man that brought us, |
| 01:32:38 |
- That's different. |
| 01:32:41 |
If Larry Kramer knew this is how gay men |
| 01:32:44 |
Larry Kramer can blow me, okay? |
| 01:32:46 |
This is fun. |
| 01:32:47 |
Besides, that was 5 minutes |
| 01:32:50 |
- Group record. |
| 01:32:51 |
I was saying earlier-- |
| 01:32:53 |
Could I have |
| 01:32:56 |
- I can't help it. I'm a gym bunny hag. |
| 01:32:59 |
Yes, Benji, yours is a lost cause. |
| 01:33:01 |
I hate this city. |
| 01:33:04 |
- Cheer up,Jan. You'll make the team. |
| 01:33:07 |
Fuck off. |
| 01:33:08 |
It's from the three of us. |
| 01:33:12 |
And you wrapped it in your pants. |
| 01:33:15 |
That's very funny. |
| 01:33:20 |
- "Love, Here I Am." |
| 01:33:23 |
You're the only one of us that never |
| 01:33:26 |
Certain individuals less familiar |
| 01:33:29 |
might interpret that |
| 01:33:33 |
as a defense mechanism, a wall. |
| 01:33:36 |
In which case, this text would serve you |
| 01:33:40 |
and opening yourself up |
| 01:33:45 |
Okay, hint taken. |
| 01:33:48 |
I can't take a picture. |
| 01:33:51 |
I really, honestly. |
| 01:33:53 |
- Actually, this isn't bad. |
| 01:33:55 |
Good. Light's good over there. |
| 01:34:02 |
All right. |
| 01:34:07 |
Meanwhile-- |
| 01:34:11 |
{y:i}A lot of people ask me |
| 01:34:14 |
{y:i}Fact is, I don't know. |
| 01:34:18 |
{y:i}But what I do remember... |
| 01:34:20 |
{y:i}what I can recall is the moment |
| 01:34:23 |
- "It was when I met these guys..." |
| 01:34:26 |
{y:i}my friends. |
| 01:34:54 |
I still need to find a housewarming gift |
| 01:34:58 |
She's been your sister's girlfriend |
| 01:35:00 |
Don't you think you two |
| 01:35:07 |
Meanwhile, don't look now, |
| 01:35:10 |
I could kill you. |
| 01:35:12 |
You act like he'd never know |
| 01:35:14 |
He wouldn't even know I was a fag |
| 01:35:17 |
a cart full of kitchenwares. |
| 01:35:19 |
What planet are you living on? |
| 01:35:20 |
Not a person in this store wouldn't |
| 01:35:24 |
- Keep telling yourself that. |
| 01:35:26 |
Okay. I'm sorry, miss? |
| 01:35:28 |
Could you come here |
| 01:35:31 |
This man, you've never seen him before |
| 01:35:34 |
Tell me, which is it: |
| 01:35:38 |
I'll have to say big fag. |
| 01:35:40 |
- The first thing I want to say, Larry-- |
| 01:35:44 |
- Remember my thing with that? |
| 01:35:46 |
Anyway, Lawrence, |
| 01:35:49 |
that we've been going out... |
| 01:35:51 |
have been some of the best moments |
| 01:35:56 |
We've laughed, we've learned... |
| 01:35:58 |
we've tripped the light fantastic. |
| 01:36:01 |
And yet, I just... |
| 01:36:04 |
feel like something's |
| 01:36:08 |
What do you think, dear? |
| 01:36:10 |
I'm not sure. Fold your arms. |
| 01:36:16 |
Oh, gosh, yeah. Big nellie. |
| 01:36:18 |
It's not you, okay? It's me. |
| 01:36:21 |
I'm the broken piece, |
| 01:36:25 |
It's because deep down inside... |
| 01:36:31 |
I'm a lonely person. |
| 01:36:34 |
Are you reading that |
| 01:36:37 |
What? No. |
| 01:36:40 |
You are. You are totally |
| 01:36:42 |
It's just some notes. I wanted |
| 01:36:45 |
Oh, give me a fucking break. |
| 01:36:47 |
The light fantastic? |
| 01:36:51 |
What? |
| 01:36:52 |
Got an APB on a Caucasian male, |
| 01:36:55 |
1 60 pounds, 5-feet-1 1 . |
| 01:36:57 |
Suspect is unarmed and has distinct |
| 01:37:00 |
That's how I'd call you in myself. |
| 01:37:05 |
You know, you are worse |
| 01:37:08 |
At least they don't presume |
| 01:37:10 |
I never said |
| 01:37:13 |
- Then what did you want? |
| 01:37:16 |
Linen sports jackets are casual. |
| 01:37:20 |
- Fucking somebody is not casual. |
| 01:37:23 |
While we're on the subject... |
| 01:37:25 |
if certain rumors concerning |
| 01:37:27 |
start popping up around town, |
| 01:37:31 |
Have a pleasant evening, |
| 01:37:35 |
That is such bullshit! |
| 01:38:06 |
Why do you bring them here, |
| 01:38:08 |
I am not in the mood |
| 01:38:10 |
As a person in a long-term relationship, |
| 01:38:14 |
- What you do is sick. |
| 01:38:16 |
Number one, you work here. |
| 01:38:19 |
Number two, if you're gonna |
| 01:38:21 |
have the decency to provide them |
| 01:38:24 |
I heard that, ingrate. |
| 01:38:27 |
You can start your shift early. |
| 01:38:29 |
Roberto, what are you |
| 01:38:32 |
This is bruschetta. |
| 01:38:35 |
Jack, that's Javier. |
| 01:38:40 |
If he cuts those tomatoes right, |
| 01:38:42 |
As a person |
| 01:38:44 |
I don't see how you're ever gonna |
| 01:38:47 |
if you don't mend your ways. |
| 01:38:48 |
Do you not start any sentences with, "as |
| 01:38:52 |
It speaks of my authority |
| 01:38:54 |
-It speaks of your boyfriend's insanity. |
| 01:38:57 |
- Thank God. |
| 01:38:59 |
Sorry, but, you know, |
| 01:39:02 |
Sorry doesn't feed the bulldog, sugar. |
| 01:39:04 |
Saw your prey on the curb. |
| 01:39:06 |
Last time I use an audition monologue |
| 01:39:09 |
You coming to the party,Jack? |
| 01:39:11 |
I just wrapped 1 00 pieces of cantaloupe |
| 01:39:14 |
You didn't. Jack! |
| 01:39:16 |
I couldn't let you have a birthday |
| 01:39:18 |
at least a little bit |
| 01:39:21 |
And in addition to which, |
| 01:39:24 |
The Broken Hearts jerseys. |
| 01:39:26 |
I will be signing up |
| 01:39:28 |
Please, I'm begging you, |
| 01:39:31 |
No softball team this year. |
| 01:39:34 |
Are you crazy? You know what kind |
| 01:39:37 |
It can't be that good. We lost |
| 01:39:41 |
Two of those teams |
| 01:39:43 |
Nobody's forcing you two to play, |
| 01:39:52 |
Leslie, Queen of Bitchtar, |
| 01:39:56 |
Good evening, Patrick. |
| 01:40:00 |
I'll be right there. |
| 01:40:02 |
What is it with lesbians |
| 01:40:05 |
I just got home from the office, |
| 01:40:10 |
So... |
| 01:40:12 |
what's the gift? |
| 01:40:13 |
It's a housewarming present |
| 01:40:16 |
Two months late. |
| 01:40:19 |
Looks like a coffeemaker. |
| 01:40:21 |
Well, you can shut your mouth |
| 01:40:24 |
Oh, we already have a coffeemaker. |
| 01:40:26 |
I've seen your old one. |
| 01:40:29 |
We got rid of that one. |
| 01:40:31 |
We have a new Webb 3000. |
| 01:40:33 |
- You already have a Webb 3000? |
| 01:40:36 |
It won't be the first time |
| 01:40:42 |
So Anne tells me you're jealous |
| 01:40:46 |
How do I look? |
| 01:40:47 |
- Great! Where's Hansel and Gretel? |
| 01:40:50 |
- You sure you don't want to come? |
| 01:40:53 |
- He said it's gonna be mixed. |
| 01:40:55 |
there were 60 men, 3 women |
| 01:40:58 |
and the parrot was getting |
| 01:41:01 |
That parrot knew the words |
| 01:41:03 |
Shall we? |
| 01:41:17 |
Do you have to do that in here? |
| 01:41:20 |
Parties make me nervous. |
| 01:41:22 |
- I'm relaxing. |
| 01:41:25 |
- What if we get pulled over? |
| 01:41:28 |
For starters, |
| 01:41:32 |
If we don't go home together tonight, |
| 01:41:35 |
- Let's not do this thing. |
| 01:41:38 |
This eleventh-hour breakup routine. |
| 01:41:41 |
I'm not breaking up anything here... |
| 01:41:44 |
because what there was to break up here |
| 01:41:47 |
Yet we're still sleeping together. |
| 01:41:49 |
We sleep together because |
| 01:41:51 |
not because we're boyfriends. |
| 01:41:52 |
- I don't want to talk about this. |
| 01:41:55 |
You just want to smoke pot, |
| 01:41:59 |
What's to talk about? We're |
| 01:42:03 |
I want more. You don't. |
| 01:42:05 |
I hang on because I love you. |
| 01:42:06 |
I wait desperately for the day |
| 01:42:10 |
and realize you love me. |
| 01:42:14 |
You hang on because it's easy. |
| 01:42:18 |
When you say it that way, |
| 01:42:44 |
Okay, wait. Hold on. |
| 01:42:46 |
Oh, easy.John-Boy Walton. |
| 01:42:48 |
Yes, honey, I always wanted to be |
| 01:42:52 |
- No, that mole. |
| 01:42:55 |
- Who's that? |
| 01:42:57 |
Wait a minute. It was the morphine |
| 01:43:00 |
- How did you know? |
| 01:43:03 |
The valley stream is clear enough |
| 01:43:07 |
Why should I keep this mirror? |
| 01:43:09 |
See, as an artist, it's crucial |
| 01:43:12 |
Right. |
| 01:43:14 |
I'm gonna get a drink. |
| 01:43:17 |
Definitely. |
| 01:43:19 |
I mean, you know, whatever. |
| 01:43:23 |
So how do you and Benji |
| 01:43:25 |
We fold jeans at Structure. |
| 01:43:27 |
Okay, my first television crush: |
| 01:43:30 |
Aquaman? Are you kidding me? |
| 01:43:32 |
No, you laugh, but he was a blond |
| 01:43:35 |
I don't like blonds though. |
| 01:43:38 |
- Swimmer's? |
| 01:43:41 |
Listen, boys, |
| 01:43:44 |
until you sign up... |
| 01:43:47 |
to be on the best team |
| 01:43:51 |
the Broken Hearts! |
| 01:43:53 |
So come on over here |
| 01:43:56 |
Free drinks for a signature! |
| 01:43:58 |
Oh, they'll all quit |
| 01:44:03 |
- That looks good, actually. |
| 01:44:05 |
I have to let it set |
| 01:44:08 |
- Guess who's outside. |
| 01:44:10 |
J. Crew guy from New Year's. |
| 01:44:12 |
- No shit. At my party? |
| 01:44:15 |
Come here. |
| 01:44:18 |
Over there by the dining room table |
| 01:44:23 |
There he is. Oh, my God. |
| 01:44:25 |
Shut the door. |
| 01:44:27 |
It's your birthday star |
| 01:44:29 |
We barely hooked up last time. |
| 01:44:33 |
How 'bout you? |
| 01:44:35 |
Who had a chance? |
| 01:44:38 |
I just live with him. |
| 01:44:40 |
It wouldn't have worked anyway. |
| 01:44:43 |
- Hasn't even told me he's gay yet. |
| 01:44:46 |
I know. I can't help myself. |
| 01:44:49 |
They remind me how great |
| 01:44:53 |
When you first come out, |
| 01:44:57 |
Possibility. |
| 01:44:59 |
Yeah. |
| 01:45:00 |
Then you find out |
| 01:45:07 |
- Oh, damn. |
| 01:45:10 |
Much like a Zen master, |
| 01:45:13 |
in the mundane tasks of your world. |
| 01:45:15 |
That, of course, |
| 01:45:18 |
I totally understand what you mean. |
| 01:45:20 |
It's that book. |
| 01:45:22 |
What's the book? |
| 01:45:23 |
Some book on Zen lessons |
| 01:45:27 |
One of Cole's ex told him he was |
| 01:45:30 |
so he thought it'd be best |
| 01:45:32 |
Dumb, gorgeous people should not |
| 01:45:35 |
when competing in the pickup pool. |
| 01:45:37 |
It's like bald people wearing hats. |
| 01:45:40 |
It's deceiving. |
| 01:45:43 |
- You open my gift yet? |
| 01:45:45 |
- Right there. |
| 01:45:49 |
Where's Paul? |
| 01:45:54 |
{y:i}Love, Here I Am. |
| 01:45:56 |
It helped me so much |
| 01:45:59 |
- Thank you, sweetie. |
| 01:46:01 |
I'll just put that |
| 01:46:05 |
I was wondering |
| 01:46:07 |
Ice. |
| 01:46:09 |
Yes, there is ice... |
| 01:46:11 |
and I will go get it. |
| 01:46:13 |
Hark! The party calls. |
| 01:46:19 |
From New Year's, right? |
| 01:46:21 |
I wasn't sure you'd remember me. |
| 01:46:24 |
Well, I do. |
| 01:46:26 |
I really didn't come in here |
| 01:46:59 |
That's my frosting. |
| 01:47:03 |
Dan, you gotta come upstairs. |
| 01:47:08 |
What's goin' on? |
| 01:47:10 |
You're kidding me. |
| 01:47:15 |
- What's happening? |
| 01:47:18 |
From Hawai, where he's vacationing |
| 01:47:21 |
Oh, shit. |
| 01:47:25 |
No Streisand, no Bette, no Judy. |
| 01:47:28 |
What the fuck is a fairy supposed to do |
| 01:47:31 |
- Howie, there's gotta be something. |
| 01:47:33 |
- There's Celine Dion. |
| 01:47:36 |
No. Okay, here. |
| 01:47:39 |
"Beaches" soundtrack. |
| 01:47:40 |
Oh, thank God. Track four. |
| 01:47:43 |
I just heard. |
| 01:47:44 |
I was left for another man. |
| 01:47:48 |
And not just any other man, |
| 01:47:50 |
A trainer named Dash. |
| 01:47:52 |
I was left for a punctuation mark. |
| 01:47:54 |
We all knew this was gonna happen. |
| 01:47:57 |
- Patrick. |
| 01:47:59 |
It's not like he didn't know |
| 01:48:01 |
I tried to warn him before they moved |
| 01:48:05 |
I'm in the room, asshole. |
| 01:48:07 |
Nice. That's what I get |
| 01:48:10 |
We obviously have two different |
| 01:48:12 |
What does that mean? |
| 01:48:14 |
It means that when it comes to men... |
| 01:48:16 |
you delight in being the bearer |
| 01:48:20 |
You can disguise it all you want under |
| 01:48:24 |
but it ain't shit |
| 01:48:26 |
trying to pop |
| 01:48:31 |
Yeah, I knew Paul was sleeping |
| 01:48:36 |
But he said |
| 01:48:39 |
He promised we'd work things out. |
| 01:48:41 |
He lied. |
| 01:48:43 |
I'm sorry. You know what? |
| 01:48:45 |
This is the time of the evening |
| 01:48:48 |
so I'm just gonna leave now. |
| 01:48:52 |
- He hates me. |
| 01:48:56 |
The apartment was Paul's. |
| 01:48:58 |
He wants me out by Friday. |
| 01:49:01 |
We have a guest room. |
| 01:49:04 |
You're more than welcome to it. |
| 01:49:08 |
- I couldn't. |
| 01:49:10 |
Cole lives here too. I couldn't do it |
| 01:49:16 |
Well, it's sort of sudden. |
| 01:49:21 |
But... |
| 01:49:24 |
it's Dennis' house, |
| 01:49:27 |
then I guess I am. |
| 01:49:30 |
Then it's settled. |
| 01:49:35 |
Dennis, Cole, I-- |
| 01:49:37 |
You'll never, ever know |
| 01:49:42 |
I'm gonna need your strength now. |
| 01:49:49 |
See you guys. |
| 01:49:59 |
What happened? |
| 01:50:00 |
Paul dumped Taylor. |
| 01:50:05 |
Party's gonna break up soon, |
| 01:50:07 |
Howie, no. |
| 01:50:10 |
You know, |
| 01:50:13 |
My what? |
| 01:50:14 |
Your Rice-A-Roni. |
| 01:50:16 |
It's the ultimate '7 0s game show |
| 01:50:18 |
the thing everybody went home with |
| 01:50:20 |
It is not like that. |
| 01:50:23 |
It's different. |
| 01:50:25 |
Yeah. |
| 01:50:26 |
Oh, my-- |
| 01:50:31 |
Oh, don't do that. |
| 01:50:34 |
Because you know that |
| 01:50:36 |
Do what? |
| 01:50:38 |
You take off your glasses. |
| 01:50:40 |
You rub your eyes. |
| 01:50:42 |
And you're speechless. |
| 01:50:47 |
I still make you speechless? |
| 01:50:55 |
- Where's your jacket? |
| 01:50:58 |
Let's go. |
| 01:51:09 |
Do you wanna talk about it? |
| 01:51:11 |
What's to talk about? |
| 01:51:14 |
Gay men in L.A. are a bunch of 10s |
| 01:51:17 |
On a good night, and if the other guy |
| 01:51:21 |
- That's not true. |
| 01:51:23 |
I love you, and I know |
| 01:51:27 |
Patrick, maybe it's time |
| 01:51:29 |
with a different group of guys. |
| 01:51:33 |
They're the only ones |
| 01:51:37 |
Good night, Patrick. |
| 01:51:39 |
Oh,just before I forget, |
| 01:51:43 |
and since that's biologically impossible |
| 01:51:46 |
and since your genes are close to mine, |
| 01:51:49 |
and then it would be like the baby |
| 01:51:52 |
had I a penis. |
| 01:51:54 |
You wouldn't have to sleep with her. |
| 01:51:57 |
So take your time, |
| 01:52:00 |
Not to rush you, but we do want to |
| 01:52:03 |
like within the next couple |
| 01:52:06 |
So... |
| 01:52:09 |
talk to you tomorrow. |
| 01:52:20 |
- You can drive away now. |
| 01:52:33 |
Go home. I'll get the rest. |
| 01:52:37 |
Come, you spirits... |
| 01:52:38 |
that tend on mortal thoughts. |
| 01:52:40 |
Unsex him here. |
| 01:52:42 |
Now is not the time |
| 01:52:45 |
No, of course not. |
| 01:52:47 |
It's only 20 minutes to your next |
| 01:52:50 |
- Ten, if I'm lucky. |
| 01:52:53 |
Notice how subtly |
| 01:52:56 |
Notice how subtly I'm ushering you |
| 01:53:00 |
Good night,Jack. |
| 01:53:01 |
Happy birthday, Dennis. |
| 01:53:06 |
Don't get nervous. |
| 01:53:08 |
Little kids and senior citizens |
| 01:53:33 |
We should light a few more candles. |
| 01:53:38 |
I'm cool. |
| 01:53:39 |
Yeah, but we could use a little, |
| 01:54:03 |
How 'bout-- |
| 01:54:05 |
How 'bout some music? |
| 01:54:08 |
- Sure. |
| 01:54:09 |
- Whatever. |
| 01:54:13 |
You like the Carpenters? |
| 01:54:16 |
Play something else. |
| 01:54:23 |
You don't find Karen Carpenter's |
| 01:54:27 |
- No. |
| 01:54:29 |
Not "Close to You," |
| 01:54:31 |
What about the one |
| 01:54:35 |
"You're So Vain." |
| 01:54:38 |
- You should go. |
| 01:54:40 |
I'm feeling virtuous all of a sudden, |
| 01:54:44 |
- Is this about the music? |
| 01:54:48 |
- I can't do this anymore. |
| 01:54:51 |
I know what we're about to do, |
| 01:54:54 |
- Sure, you can. |
| 01:54:55 |
- I can, but I'm tired of it. |
| 01:54:59 |
Yes. No. |
| 01:55:02 |
I'm tired of sex with people who care |
| 01:55:06 |
and I'm tired |
| 01:55:08 |
I want something more... |
| 01:55:11 |
something else. |
| 01:55:12 |
I want someone who likes my music |
| 01:55:16 |
I keep forgetting your name... |
| 01:55:18 |
because my friends and I |
| 01:55:23 |
It's Ted. |
| 01:55:26 |
Well, Ted... |
| 01:55:28 |
I'm sorry. |
| 01:55:30 |
Normally, how you look in that sweater |
| 01:56:12 |
You scared me. |
| 01:56:13 |
It's my house. |
| 01:56:16 |
- Is Cole asleep? |
| 01:56:20 |
There's nothin' in there. |
| 01:56:24 |
You should try the cake. |
| 01:56:26 |
The icing looks gross, |
| 01:56:30 |
This is not what I need tonight. |
| 01:56:34 |
- You are not what I need tonight. |
| 01:56:37 |
I made that cake you just insulted |
| 01:56:40 |
It took me two hours, and I didn't |
| 01:56:43 |
'cause my friend's relationship |
| 01:56:46 |
Bummer. |
| 01:56:48 |
Everyone knows that birthday wishes |
| 01:56:52 |
I plan on writing to the committee |
| 01:57:00 |
Why write? |
| 01:57:05 |
Now you made the deadline. |
| 01:57:18 |
Come on. Make your wish. |
| 01:57:34 |
Thank you. |
| 01:57:37 |
Kevin. |
| 01:57:38 |
You must be "Ennis." |
| 01:57:40 |
That's Dennis. |
| 01:57:41 |
Somebody ate the "D." |
| 01:57:46 |
- Are these yours? |
| 01:57:48 |
I found your darkroom when I |
| 01:57:51 |
so I figured you were |
| 01:57:54 |
Or somethin'. |
| 01:57:57 |
- I like this one. |
| 01:58:01 |
We had to find an inanimate object |
| 01:58:05 |
I had just come out of the closet, |
| 01:58:08 |
but I was still feeling a sense |
| 01:58:12 |
I think it looks lonely. |
| 01:58:15 |
You're Benji's friend? |
| 01:58:17 |
Oh, yeah. |
| 01:58:19 |
but I like him. |
| 01:58:22 |
- Apparently not enough. |
| 01:58:26 |
Between you and me, I think |
| 01:58:29 |
You've been a hot topic of conversation |
| 01:58:34 |
What, he's been talking about me? |
| 01:58:37 |
Relax. It's just a crush. |
| 01:58:40 |
I mean, you should be flattered. |
| 01:58:43 |
By the next full moon, |
| 01:58:47 |
I don't get you guys. |
| 01:58:49 |
Is that all you do, |
| 01:58:52 |
Either that or we talk about men. |
| 01:58:56 |
Yeah, well... |
| 01:58:57 |
I think it's really gay. |
| 01:59:02 |
- You're not out, are you? |
| 01:59:04 |
You're not just a newbie. |
| 01:59:08 |
- I don't think it's anyone's business. |
| 01:59:11 |
- I'm getting tired of being asked. |
| 01:59:14 |
Why do I have to tell anyone anyway? |
| 01:59:16 |
Maybe I'm straight. Maybe I'm gay. |
| 01:59:20 |
Maybe I should say good night. |
| 01:59:22 |
Yeah. Good night. |
| 01:59:30 |
You're right. |
| 01:59:32 |
It looks lonely. |
| 01:59:45 |
{y:i}I can't decide if my friends are |
| 01:59:48 |
Clearly, without them, |
| 01:59:50 |
but with them... |
| 01:59:53 |
I don't know if I'll ever be able |
| 01:59:58 |
Do you know |
| 02:00:01 |
Do you want to |
| 02:00:05 |
Yeah. |
| 02:00:08 |
I know they're my friends. I just |
| 02:00:11 |
Especially when it comes to men. |
| 02:00:13 |
Every time I introduce someone, |
| 02:00:16 |
Watch your posture, all right? |
| 02:00:18 |
Sorry. |
| 02:00:19 |
Take, for instance, |
| 02:00:22 |
Taylor's boyfriend |
| 02:00:24 |
Howie went home with Marshall again. |
| 02:00:27 |
Benji's quasi-boyfriend |
| 02:00:30 |
And my sister ends the evening |
| 02:00:35 |
It's like one big gay soap opera. |
| 02:00:37 |
I keep waiting for Sue Ellen |
| 02:00:40 |
and tell me she secretly bought |
| 02:00:44 |
I was watching this documentary on cable |
| 02:00:49 |
Benji was telling me about this |
| 02:00:52 |
In Somalia. |
| 02:00:53 |
They hang out with each other until |
| 02:00:57 |
They attack each other. |
| 02:01:00 |
I thought to myself, |
| 02:01:04 |
That's us. |
| 02:01:05 |
We're those monkeys, and I'm |
| 02:01:09 |
The only one who's unfaxed |
| 02:01:12 |
I mean,just look at him. |
| 02:01:14 |
He's gorgeous, |
| 02:01:16 |
He's the ultimate meanwhile, |
| 02:01:18 |
My dad would sleep with Cole. |
| 02:01:22 |
If you asked me, Cole is precisely |
| 02:01:26 |
We all want to be him, |
| 02:01:30 |
Actually, |
| 02:01:33 |
I wanna be Cole. |
| 02:01:35 |
Why can't God have made me Cole? |
| 02:01:41 |
My friends get a haircut with this. |
| 02:01:43 |
It's not like I wanna be Cole |
| 02:01:46 |
He just makes it all look so easy. |
| 02:01:48 |
I just wish it was, you know, |
| 02:01:52 |
To get a boyfriend. |
| 02:01:54 |
To be beautiful. |
| 02:01:58 |
Thanks, Betty. |
| 02:02:00 |
You always know just what to say. |
| 02:02:02 |
It's a gift. |
| 02:02:13 |
Where is my living room? |
| 02:02:15 |
- I just shifted it around a little. |
| 02:02:19 |
You didn't shift |
| 02:02:20 |
You shifted my living room out |
| 02:02:23 |
So where is my living room? |
| 02:02:25 |
Distributed evenly around the house. |
| 02:02:27 |
- Distribute it back. |
| 02:02:29 |
Start now, you'll be done in time |
| 02:02:32 |
Okay, Dennis. |
| 02:02:34 |
A furniture arrangement |
| 02:02:38 |
You have to live with it for a few days |
| 02:02:41 |
That's not true. |
| 02:02:43 |
I haven't had a shag, but I don't have |
| 02:02:47 |
to know that I don't want one. |
| 02:02:51 |
Thank God you're home. |
| 02:02:52 |
Thanks to Mufassa here, |
| 02:02:54 |
- Why do I even try? |
| 02:02:57 |
This casting director is bringing me in |
| 02:03:01 |
- That's terrific. |
| 02:03:04 |
- You need me to make a head shot. |
| 02:03:06 |
- Go get your negatives. |
| 02:03:08 |
You are a fucking godsend. |
| 02:03:10 |
I hear Kip Rogers is a big fag. |
| 02:03:13 |
Kip Rogers is not gay. |
| 02:03:15 |
Please, that's right up there with, |
| 02:03:26 |
My agent thinks that I have |
| 02:03:29 |
Says they're just looking |
| 02:03:33 |
Doesn't that bother you? |
| 02:03:35 |
- That people think I'm attractive? |
| 02:03:39 |
That's not necessarily true. |
| 02:03:42 |
When was the last time you got asked |
| 02:03:45 |
It's always they want a look |
| 02:03:47 |
or nice eyes. |
| 02:03:49 |
So what? Who gives a fuck? |
| 02:03:52 |
What matters is whether or not |
| 02:03:57 |
I guess. |
| 02:04:00 |
- So you like this Kevin kid? |
| 02:04:03 |
That's how you feel about him? |
| 02:04:06 |
Do I agree with his opinions |
| 02:04:08 |
Forget I asked. |
| 02:04:09 |
It's been a week. |
| 02:04:12 |
I think if this is gonna be |
| 02:04:16 |
- Another? |
| 02:04:19 |
- You're not taking home the gold. |
| 02:04:22 |
What is your excuse for not |
| 02:04:26 |
You don't even call them back. |
| 02:04:28 |
At least I have the decency |
| 02:04:31 |
Which brings me to my point. |
| 02:04:33 |
Why lead somebody on when you know |
| 02:04:38 |
Because what if it does? |
| 02:04:39 |
A relationship |
| 02:04:41 |
No more than you can base a relationship |
| 02:04:46 |
but that works just fine |
| 02:04:51 |
There it is. |
| 02:04:54 |
Well. |
| 02:04:57 |
Have you gained weight? |
| 02:04:59 |
What? Where? |
| 02:05:02 |
{y:i}I can't help it. |
| 02:05:05 |
{y:i}This awful panic that I'm gonna |
| 02:05:09 |
{y:i}So I go over there. |
| 02:05:11 |
- That's called being horny. |
| 02:05:14 |
I know horny. |
| 02:05:16 |
I've taken entire |
| 02:05:18 |
They have lecture series on horny? |
| 02:05:21 |
They don't call it that. |
| 02:05:23 |
You think I should |
| 02:05:29 |
Any time you hags |
| 02:05:31 |
I hate the outfield. |
| 02:05:39 |
Where did my mitt go? |
| 02:05:44 |
{y:i}Oh, say can you see |
| 02:05:48 |
How y'all doin'? |
| 02:05:50 |
You ready for this? |
| 02:05:53 |
Attaboy, Taylor! |
| 02:05:55 |
With a monarch's voice, |
| 02:05:58 |
and let slip the dogs of war! |
| 02:06:03 |
Strike! |
| 02:06:09 |
Our first game of the season, and they |
| 02:06:13 |
Not only are they better than us, |
| 02:06:17 |
Come on. Let's play. |
| 02:06:19 |
Look at that. |
| 02:06:24 |
Strike two. |
| 02:06:27 |
You know, if he was smart, |
| 02:06:30 |
- I tell you, it's the law of fractions. |
| 02:06:33 |
Howie thinks one |
| 02:06:35 |
It's a known scientific fact |
| 02:06:38 |
Including the bench, they've got |
| 02:06:40 |
I dare you to share that with them. |
| 02:06:45 |
Thank you. |
| 02:06:47 |
Where's Cole? |
| 02:06:51 |
I'll get him. |
| 02:06:52 |
Strike three! You're out! |
| 02:06:54 |
I don't understand why they don't |
| 02:06:58 |
Shut up, bitches. |
| 02:07:11 |
You're up in two. |
| 02:07:14 |
Thanks, Den. |
| 02:07:27 |
So you're still deciding |
| 02:07:29 |
I'm going with the shortstop 'cause he's |
| 02:07:35 |
Benj, hold these. |
| 02:07:36 |
Cole, if you had to pick a mole |
| 02:07:41 |
No problem. Catcher. |
| 02:07:43 |
Catcher? Yeah, right. |
| 02:07:45 |
The biggest meanwhile on the team |
| 02:07:48 |
The guy's a total breeder. |
| 02:07:50 |
First round at Jack's |
| 02:07:56 |
Who's the coach? |
| 02:07:58 |
That's Jack. Loves baseball |
| 02:08:01 |
- Shakespeare fan, huh? |
| 02:08:05 |
Before he opened the restaurant, |
| 02:08:09 |
See that man? |
| 02:08:12 |
Plays piano at the restaurant. |
| 02:08:14 |
Comes to all the games. |
| 02:08:16 |
We call him Purple Guy, |
| 02:08:18 |
Yeah. |
| 02:08:21 |
Wow. |
| 02:08:28 |
Hey, Mr. Catcher. |
| 02:08:32 |
You got a name? |
| 02:08:34 |
Sure. |
| 02:08:36 |
It's Low and Inside. |
| 02:08:39 |
Strike! |
| 02:08:43 |
- Thanks for the tip. |
| 02:08:47 |
My friends and I |
| 02:08:50 |
that one of you fire boys plays on |
| 02:08:53 |
That's interesting. |
| 02:08:56 |
- Who'd you bet on? |
| 02:08:59 |
Ball! |
| 02:09:05 |
So do I win? |
| 02:09:09 |
What tipped you off? |
| 02:09:10 |
I've been up to bat twice, and twice |
| 02:09:16 |
Ball. |
| 02:09:26 |
So what are the chances |
| 02:09:28 |
Sorry. I'm seeing someone. |
| 02:09:30 |
So was I. |
| 02:09:32 |
Strike two! |
| 02:09:34 |
Two and two, batter. |
| 02:09:36 |
I missed that one on purpose |
| 02:09:40 |
What are the chances |
| 02:09:45 |
About the chance of you |
| 02:09:55 |
Yeah, go! |
| 02:10:00 |
Print neatly. |
| 02:10:57 |
- You ever talk to him? |
| 02:11:01 |
I thought he said hi to me once. |
| 02:11:08 |
I wonder what Jack sees in him. |
| 02:11:10 |
I don't know. Whatever it is, |
| 02:11:15 |
The world's only prompt lesbians. |
| 02:11:19 |
Well, I'm off. |
| 02:11:22 |
- Wish me luck. |
| 02:11:42 |
I don't get it. |
| 02:11:43 |
I don't get it. |
| 02:11:45 |
See, that's the thing. |
| 02:11:47 |
That you would think there |
| 02:11:51 |
implies we were never really clear |
| 02:11:55 |
That lack of clarity... |
| 02:11:57 |
well... |
| 02:12:00 |
frightens me. |
| 02:12:05 |
What? |
| 02:12:07 |
- What's up with them? |
| 02:12:09 |
In the course of six innings? |
| 02:12:12 |
He got the catcher's number. |
| 02:12:20 |
- Where's Kevin? |
| 02:12:22 |
Obviously. |
| 02:12:24 |
- Something wrong here? |
| 02:12:26 |
We know all about this little |
| 02:12:29 |
We're here to shut that shit down. |
| 02:12:31 |
Relax, Tex. |
| 02:12:34 |
Was that what you were doing behind |
| 02:12:41 |
- I had a change of heart. Shoot me. |
| 02:12:44 |
I'm a little sick of your |
| 02:12:47 |
You toss one scam out of bed, |
| 02:12:55 |
You know what I meant. |
| 02:12:59 |
He can't even admit to being gay. |
| 02:13:01 |
What he needs right now are friends, |
| 02:13:06 |
Where you goin'? |
| 02:13:08 |
You're right. |
| 02:13:15 |
- He wants to sleep with him. |
| 02:13:24 |
Hey, we're going to Jack's. |
| 02:13:27 |
-Just fuck off. |
| 02:13:29 |
Everyone gets dumped |
| 02:13:31 |
It's the rule |
| 02:13:34 |
What happens next? |
| 02:13:38 |
You don't even know my friends. |
| 02:13:40 |
I know them well enough to know |
| 02:13:43 |
Fags? Go ahead and say it. |
| 02:13:45 |
- I wasn't going to say that. |
| 02:13:48 |
Maybe then you'd be less afraid |
| 02:13:53 |
Why can't everything just slow down? |
| 02:13:55 |
I promise it will, |
| 02:14:01 |
At least go have |
| 02:14:06 |
- One condition. |
| 02:14:08 |
West Hollywood's that way. |
| 02:14:12 |
Show me one thing |
| 02:14:16 |
- So you come here a lot? |
| 02:14:20 |
In fact, next to Karen Carpenter... |
| 02:14:22 |
this place is the closest thing |
| 02:14:24 |
The Carpenters? |
| 02:14:27 |
- You like the Carpenters? |
| 02:14:29 |
Here's to your first O.G.T. |
| 02:14:32 |
Obviously Gay Trait. |
| 02:14:34 |
Mine are love of the Carpenters, |
| 02:14:38 |
and intense fear of blood sports. |
| 02:14:41 |
I don't get it. Why be friends with a |
| 02:14:45 |
That's not why we're friends. |
| 02:14:47 |
It may be why we became friends, |
| 02:14:53 |
- Doesn't that drive you crazy? |
| 02:14:55 |
At least six times a year, I threaten |
| 02:15:00 |
Only I wouldn't go for just |
| 02:15:02 |
I'd bring my camera, finally take |
| 02:15:07 |
Really find my voice. |
| 02:15:11 |
Then something happens. |
| 02:15:13 |
A birthday, summer parties... |
| 02:15:16 |
Christmas, |
| 02:15:18 |
And I'm with them and... |
| 02:15:21 |
suddenly I can't imagine |
| 02:15:25 |
So I stay. |
| 02:15:32 |
Have you told anybody |
| 02:15:34 |
- A few people. |
| 02:15:38 |
- My sister. |
| 02:15:41 |
Yeah, it wasn't planned. I was home |
| 02:15:44 |
- With a guy? |
| 02:15:47 |
By myself, flying solo. |
| 02:15:49 |
Ouch. To what, gay porn? |
| 02:15:51 |
Oh, no. Worse than that. |
| 02:15:54 |
An article on Antonio Sabato,Jr. |
| 02:15:57 |
I thought my mom would be cooler. |
| 02:16:01 |
In high school, she caught me |
| 02:16:04 |
All she said was, "I hope you |
| 02:16:07 |
But when I told her I was gay, |
| 02:16:11 |
- How is she now? |
| 02:16:13 |
Still refers to the homosexual |
| 02:16:16 |
like they live on her block |
| 02:16:18 |
" Dennis, I see the gays had a parade. |
| 02:16:23 |
My dad would have been different. |
| 02:16:25 |
- You didn't tell him? |
| 02:16:28 |
My biggest regret: |
| 02:16:31 |
You can't say that. |
| 02:16:34 |
He died not knowing me. |
| 02:16:41 |
We want your sperm. |
| 02:16:43 |
What about cousin Jeffrey? |
| 02:16:46 |
Jeffrey's a Promise Keeper |
| 02:16:49 |
He doesn't have any genes |
| 02:16:51 |
I'm sorry. |
| 02:16:54 |
I told you we should have |
| 02:16:56 |
Drug me and jerk-- |
| 02:16:58 |
This is the woman that you |
| 02:17:00 |
- She's being serious. |
| 02:17:02 |
You two want the truth? |
| 02:17:05 |
You guys can't keep a plant alive. |
| 02:17:09 |
We haven't even discussed the realities |
| 02:17:15 |
Are you prepared to answer, " Mom #1 , |
| 02:17:19 |
Look at the three of us. What kind |
| 02:17:23 |
You know what? |
| 02:17:26 |
I'm doing this for your sister because |
| 02:17:30 |
She had this funny idea |
| 02:17:33 |
you'd get your shit together and start |
| 02:17:37 |
But I can see |
| 02:17:39 |
That's fine with me. |
| 02:17:44 |
Is that what this is about? |
| 02:17:51 |
Patrick, when you came out... |
| 02:17:53 |
you said it was because you couldn't |
| 02:17:59 |
And I have never seen you |
| 02:18:12 |
I'm sorry, gentlemen, |
| 02:18:16 |
There's not a single film |
| 02:18:18 |
that paints a portrait of a gay man |
| 02:18:21 |
What are our options? |
| 02:18:24 |
the friends of noble, |
| 02:18:27 |
compulsive sex addicts, |
| 02:18:30 |
and the most recent addition |
| 02:18:32 |
stylish confidantes |
| 02:18:35 |
Just once I'd like to see |
| 02:18:38 |
has not been laid in about three months |
| 02:18:43 |
And that's someone |
| 02:18:45 |
At least they would be someone real. |
| 02:18:47 |
Can you imagine if they made a film |
| 02:18:51 |
Maybe then we wouldn't have |
| 02:18:54 |
to "Steel Magnolias." |
| 02:18:57 |
He is so Sally Fields. |
| 02:18:59 |
- I thought I was Sally Fields. |
| 02:19:04 |
Which one am I? |
| 02:19:06 |
Julia Roberts. |
| 02:19:09 |
For your nerves, honey. |
| 02:19:18 |
What are you doing here? We agreed |
| 02:19:21 |
- I said it was too hard. |
| 02:19:24 |
We had a game today. |
| 02:19:26 |
- I'm telling you, I forgot. |
| 02:19:31 |
Since you're here, if you want |
| 02:19:34 |
- I can't. |
| 02:19:36 |
I'm trying to tell you |
| 02:19:38 |
There are no tables available, |
| 02:19:40 |
Oh, it's too busy here, so we should |
| 02:19:44 |
Cool. |
| 02:19:56 |
I didn't see you out there. |
| 02:19:59 |
I came in the back. |
| 02:20:00 |
I felt like an emergency piece |
| 02:20:04 |
How'd it go with the girls? |
| 02:20:08 |
It went. |
| 02:20:12 |
I miss anything? |
| 02:20:14 |
Same old song. |
| 02:20:16 |
Howie was going on about gay cinema. |
| 02:20:19 |
Sometimes I wonder what you boys |
| 02:20:22 |
You'd have no identity. |
| 02:20:25 |
It was easy when you couldn't talk |
| 02:20:28 |
You talk about it so much |
| 02:20:31 |
all the other things that you are. |
| 02:20:35 |
When I watch them, |
| 02:20:37 |
It's like I'm not even a part of it. |
| 02:20:40 |
They're all so much |
| 02:20:44 |
No. You know what? |
| 02:20:46 |
I don't mind. Really, I don't. |
| 02:20:48 |
I kind of like being attractive |
| 02:20:50 |
It's the closest I've ever gotten |
| 02:20:55 |
Help me put my dress on. |
| 02:20:57 |
Jack, you're not going out |
| 02:21:00 |
It's Saturday. |
| 02:21:02 |
The madness has got to stop. You don't |
| 02:21:05 |
So? |
| 02:21:06 |
So it's a disgrace |
| 02:21:09 |
Big fuckin' deal. |
| 02:21:11 |
And it completely plays into |
| 02:21:14 |
Again, big fucking deal. |
| 02:21:16 |
And your tits are always crooked. |
| 02:21:20 |
- No shit? Nobody ever told me that. |
| 02:21:23 |
Here, come here. |
| 02:21:35 |
I've never felt a man up before. |
| 02:21:37 |
There. That's-- |
| 02:21:39 |
Okay. Zip me up, would you? |
| 02:21:45 |
Oh, okay. All right. |
| 02:21:52 |
Everybody can't be the same, |
| 02:21:55 |
Everybody can't be straight. |
| 02:21:57 |
Everybody can't be beautiful. |
| 02:22:00 |
Some people |
| 02:22:08 |
We're the strongest, I think. |
| 02:22:29 |
Hello, boys! Hello. |
| 02:22:32 |
I'm sorry. I know we were supposed |
| 02:22:37 |
But you know what they say? |
| 02:22:41 |
So to start with, |
| 02:22:44 |
from my first platinum album... |
| 02:22:47 |
{y:i}Color MeJack. |
| 02:22:51 |
Hit it, honey. |
| 02:22:55 |
{y:i}Shall we join the ladies |
| 02:22:59 |
{y:i}And make one great big lady |
| 02:23:07 |
You sure you don't want |
| 02:23:09 |
I do. I'm just not ready |
| 02:23:13 |
- I have the same number as Cole. |
| 02:23:16 |
I'll call. |
| 02:23:17 |
Okay. |
| 02:23:19 |
Good night. |
| 02:23:23 |
Bye. |
| 02:23:41 |
Just checking a page. |
| 02:23:45 |
Which, incidentally, |
| 02:23:47 |
Yeah, but I just wanted |
| 02:23:51 |
- About Kevin. |
| 02:23:56 |
Holy shit. Holy shit. |
| 02:23:58 |
- What is it? |
| 02:24:00 |
What's he saying? |
| 02:24:02 |
I got the part. |
| 02:24:06 |
- You're kidding me. |
| 02:24:08 |
I leave in a week |
| 02:24:11 |
Holy shit. I got the part |
| 02:24:13 |
- I'll be in a movie with Kip Rogers. |
| 02:24:16 |
No kidding. |
| 02:24:17 |
- It's a small part, but,Jesus Christ-- |
| 02:24:21 |
He's not gay. He's married. |
| 02:24:23 |
I gotta tell the other guys. |
| 02:24:29 |
Hey, listen. Tell the other hags |
| 02:24:33 |
Where are you going? |
| 02:24:35 |
To my sister's. |
| 02:24:37 |
To see if it's not too late to change |
| 02:24:40 |
- What happened? |
| 02:24:43 |
Nothing ever happens. |
| 02:25:04 |
You scared the shit out of me. |
| 02:25:07 |
I think that it's great |
| 02:25:12 |
Yeah, it is. |
| 02:25:13 |
And it's not that I'm giving you |
| 02:25:20 |
- I'm going inside now. |
| 02:25:23 |
Let me just come inside, |
| 02:25:26 |
Until you get off? |
| 02:25:28 |
- That is not true. |
| 02:25:31 |
You'll be kind enough |
| 02:25:33 |
on why Snagglepuss was the first |
| 02:25:36 |
You know, if memory serves, it's |
| 02:25:41 |
- that sent me running. |
| 02:25:45 |
My pot smoking is the source |
| 02:25:47 |
God forbid it was symptomatic |
| 02:25:50 |
I'm the one that studies |
| 02:25:53 |
- Ours was quite normal. |
| 02:25:58 |
When did you once express any physical |
| 02:26:02 |
Do you know Brian actually |
| 02:26:06 |
Do you know what that's like to be with |
| 02:26:10 |
You know, I congratulate Mr. Gorgeous |
| 02:26:15 |
So that's what this is about. |
| 02:26:18 |
Brian's better-looking than you, |
| 02:26:23 |
But if he was ugly, you wouldn't |
| 02:26:31 |
Thanks for not answering that. |
| 02:26:37 |
You know, Howie, |
| 02:26:40 |
but it would be nice if your attraction |
| 02:26:55 |
{y:i}My ex is dating a print model. |
| 02:26:58 |
{y:i}A blond, goy print model named Brian. |
| 02:27:01 |
Could that possibly hit |
| 02:27:03 |
He could have a big penis. |
| 02:27:05 |
Which one of you hags |
| 02:27:08 |
- Let's bring it down to seven. |
| 02:27:10 |
It's a deal. |
| 02:27:13 |
That's not Marshall's m.o. Unlike me, |
| 02:27:17 |
- Meanwhile-- |
| 02:27:20 |
- Sue me. |
| 02:27:22 |
For months you've been guilty |
| 02:27:24 |
- He's moved on and you sound worse. |
| 02:27:27 |
It's my guilt. |
| 02:27:31 |
I'm with Dennis. How can you be jealous |
| 02:27:34 |
I don't know. |
| 02:27:36 |
and you won't catch me going through |
| 02:27:39 |
Speaking of which, I haven't seen |
| 02:27:41 |
He's been curled up on my couch, |
| 02:27:44 |
When I ask him what's wrong, he gives me |
| 02:27:47 |
- " Phase five, phase five." |
| 02:27:50 |
If I were you, I'd remove |
| 02:27:53 |
Is that what they're teaching you |
| 02:27:57 |
Guys, is that the girl |
| 02:27:59 |
I'm so over "Y&R." |
| 02:28:01 |
You're excited for him to call, |
| 02:28:04 |
Even if I wanted to sleep with him, |
| 02:28:07 |
- So you do want to sleep with him. |
| 02:28:09 |
Don't you see |
| 02:28:12 |
We come out of the closet, we get our |
| 02:28:15 |
and we become more bitter |
| 02:28:18 |
The only thing keeping us from complete |
| 02:28:21 |
I just want him to see that |
| 02:28:24 |
Before he becomes jaded, |
| 02:28:27 |
Interesting. What you're trying to do |
| 02:28:31 |
- It's classic projection. |
| 02:28:33 |
- No, I don't want to sleep with him. |
| 02:28:38 |
- Benji's talking to Idaho guy. |
| 02:28:41 |
Idaho Guy |
| 02:28:43 |
He's been strategically working out |
| 02:28:46 |
in hopes |
| 02:28:48 |
Why do you call him |
| 02:28:52 |
I don't know. He just kind |
| 02:28:55 |
It's not really one |
| 02:28:57 |
I'm freaking out. |
| 02:28:59 |
I was in the middle of my squats and he |
| 02:29:03 |
Is that like fate or what? |
| 02:29:06 |
No way, little Benjamin. Gym bunnies |
| 02:29:10 |
Their lives revolve around sex |
| 02:29:12 |
And cat tranquilizers. |
| 02:29:14 |
If you intend on experiencing the joys |
| 02:29:18 |
it won't be |
| 02:29:20 |
I don't care. |
| 02:29:22 |
Hi. I turned around and you were gone. |
| 02:29:28 |
It's my number. |
| 02:29:31 |
Give me a call if you want. |
| 02:29:35 |
Yeah, definitely. |
| 02:29:37 |
That'll be cool. |
| 02:30:02 |
It's no improvement. |
| 02:30:05 |
I didn't pack a jacket. |
| 02:30:07 |
I hope Phoenix |
| 02:30:09 |
Should we call a doctor? |
| 02:30:17 |
He'll be all right. Just as long |
| 02:30:24 |
You know what? |
| 02:30:26 |
That Kevin kid called |
| 02:30:28 |
- He did? |
| 02:30:31 |
Sounded kind of cold, though. |
| 02:30:34 |
They never still hate you. |
| 02:30:36 |
It's funny, isn't it? |
| 02:30:39 |
Well, if it makes you feel any better, |
| 02:30:44 |
- Good luck. |
| 02:31:05 |
- "What is taking him so long?" |
| 02:31:12 |
It'll just be another minute more. |
| 02:31:15 |
A phone call? |
| 02:31:18 |
- Patrick, what happened? |
| 02:31:21 |
- I need material. |
| 02:31:25 |
Well, the whole "Hustler" oeuvre isn't |
| 02:31:30 |
Oh, my God. It's embarrassing |
| 02:31:33 |
- Did you bring the stash? |
| 02:31:36 |
You know my issues |
| 02:31:42 |
Hurry up! |
| 02:31:53 |
- Hey, sorry I'm late. |
| 02:31:58 |
Crank it. |
| 02:32:14 |
Call it crazy, |
| 02:32:16 |
Bear with me. |
| 02:32:19 |
I believe that there |
| 02:32:23 |
- Gay numbers? |
| 02:32:26 |
Have you ever given thought |
| 02:32:43 |
I've seen this sort |
| 02:32:46 |
The victim in the Miranda case |
| 02:32:49 |
Cut. That was perfect. |
| 02:33:22 |
I was so glad |
| 02:33:25 |
She mentioned you at her last cleaning, |
| 02:33:30 |
- I used to be. |
| 02:33:34 |
I was in this long-term relationship |
| 02:33:38 |
Five months and he broke up with me. |
| 02:33:41 |
He said I talk too much. Is that not |
| 02:33:45 |
'Cause I'm all about listening. |
| 02:34:14 |
I know what you're thinking. |
| 02:34:17 |
I mean, most gay men can't even say |
| 02:34:20 |
let alone stare at them |
| 02:34:23 |
But it never really bothered me. |
| 02:34:26 |
Vagina, vagina, vagina. |
| 02:34:30 |
It's just a word, right? |
| 02:34:32 |
I'll tell you the word |
| 02:34:35 |
Clitoris. |
| 02:34:49 |
Why am I shaking? |
| 02:34:51 |
It's your first gay club. |
| 02:34:53 |
If anybody attacks you, |
| 02:34:56 |
Nice to see you again. Things are |
| 02:34:59 |
- Breakup? |
| 02:35:00 |
Paul who? |
| 02:35:02 |
It's phase six. |
| 02:35:04 |
It's denial. |
| 02:35:06 |
Wow. |
| 02:35:24 |
Oh, my God. |
| 02:35:26 |
I've been looking |
| 02:35:28 |
- You want a drink? |
| 02:35:31 |
- Where's Idaho Guy? |
| 02:35:34 |
Dance floor. |
| 02:35:35 |
You guys, everybody's here. |
| 02:35:38 |
Fly, young one. |
| 02:35:41 |
Come on. Dance with your mama. |
| 02:35:44 |
- So what do you think? Ecstasy? |
| 02:35:48 |
Should we talk to him? |
| 02:35:50 |
They said, |
| 02:35:52 |
We've all messed around with stuff |
| 02:35:54 |
He's just having a good time. |
| 02:35:56 |
Dance? We're here |
| 02:35:59 |
Speak for yourself. |
| 02:36:01 |
Come on. |
| 02:36:04 |
Howie? Howie Mixner? |
| 02:36:07 |
Barry. |
| 02:37:06 |
I got one. |
| 02:37:08 |
Who would you kick out of bed? |
| 02:37:12 |
Okay, I believe this requires |
| 02:37:16 |
- I'd say Safer. |
| 02:37:19 |
But I would kick them both out of bed |
| 02:37:22 |
I'd kick Wallace. |
| 02:37:26 |
Who's got the 30? |
| 02:37:27 |
- What are you doing outside? |
| 02:37:31 |
It's July 4. |
| 02:37:35 |
Have you heard |
| 02:37:37 |
He only called once all month. |
| 02:37:39 |
He's too busy getting shtupped |
| 02:37:41 |
When will you guys get over |
| 02:37:43 |
every gay man in America |
| 02:37:46 |
that doesn't mean |
| 02:37:48 |
You know what? |
| 02:37:51 |
- You're not staying for the party? |
| 02:37:53 |
at my parent's barbecue. |
| 02:37:59 |
- Have fun. |
| 02:38:01 |
- I've got another one. |
| 02:38:03 |
The Grimace |
| 02:38:05 |
- Oh, my God. |
| 02:38:07 |
- That's a good one. |
| 02:38:11 |
Homo say bad party lighting. |
| 02:38:14 |
Get out. |
| 02:38:20 |
- Did you lock the door? |
| 02:38:23 |
Shit. One second! |
| 02:38:36 |
Yeah? |
| 02:38:37 |
- You're going to shoot in five. |
| 02:38:39 |
- All right. Cappuccino? |
| 02:38:43 |
- I'll see you out there. |
| 02:38:55 |
- That was close. |
| 02:39:02 |
I have to cancel tonight. |
| 02:39:04 |
My publicist wants me to do |
| 02:39:07 |
Today's my last day of shooting. |
| 02:39:10 |
- What would you like me to do? |
| 02:39:13 |
- Tell them you can't do it. |
| 02:39:15 |
"Sorry. I have dinner plans with |
| 02:39:20 |
- I'm not an extra. |
| 02:39:22 |
They have me shooting here |
| 02:39:25 |
My part is integral to the plot. |
| 02:39:28 |
- I'm not a fucking extra. |
| 02:39:31 |
I'm sorry |
| 02:39:36 |
I'll make it up to you. |
| 02:39:39 |
We'll go somewhere discreet |
| 02:39:42 |
- All right? |
| 02:39:46 |
Good. |
| 02:39:50 |
Wait about ten minutes. Make sure |
| 02:40:08 |
Hey, having fun? Good. |
| 02:40:18 |
Hey, there you are. |
| 02:40:21 |
How you doing? |
| 02:40:25 |
Everything all right? |
| 02:40:29 |
What happened? |
| 02:40:35 |
You told your parents. |
| 02:40:37 |
Just kind of slipped out. |
| 02:40:39 |
The three of us were in the kitchen, |
| 02:40:43 |
and my mom mentioned |
| 02:40:48 |
I said, "That's great. |
| 02:40:53 |
I bet she wishes |
| 02:40:59 |
They were great, Dennis. |
| 02:41:01 |
And then I started thinking, |
| 02:41:05 |
Why was I so scared |
| 02:41:09 |
- If I hadn't met you-- |
| 02:42:00 |
Morning. |
| 02:42:05 |
We're gonna be late |
| 02:42:15 |
Once more unto the breach, |
| 02:42:23 |
It's the height of irony, really. |
| 02:42:27 |
Here we are, bottom of the ninth. |
| 02:42:30 |
Our least able player |
| 02:42:32 |
We're either one hit away |
| 02:42:34 |
or three strikes away from going down |
| 02:42:40 |
If we could just get him |
| 02:42:42 |
The sad thing is, |
| 02:42:49 |
Come on, Taylor. |
| 02:43:10 |
Attaboy! |
| 02:43:16 |
Sweet are the uses |
| 02:43:54 |
"Sweet are the uses |
| 02:43:57 |
which, like the toad, |
| 02:44:01 |
wears yet a precious jewel |
| 02:44:05 |
And this is our life... |
| 02:44:07 |
exempt from public haunt... |
| 02:44:10 |
finds tongues and trees... |
| 02:44:13 |
books in running brooks... |
| 02:44:16 |
sermons in stones... |
| 02:44:18 |
and good in everything." |
| 02:44:22 |
Jack was a Shakespeare fan. |
| 02:44:24 |
That passage from "As You Like It" |
| 02:44:28 |
He would've wanted me |
| 02:44:33 |
Other than that, |
| 02:44:36 |
That was Jack. |
| 02:44:42 |
I'll just play something. |
| 02:44:45 |
Hopefully, wherever Jack is... |
| 02:44:48 |
he'll sing along. |
| 02:45:04 |
That's what Jack saw in him. |
| 02:45:27 |
- So where's Brian? |
| 02:45:36 |
You look terrific. |
| 02:45:41 |
You don't have to say anything just |
| 02:45:45 |
I'm not just saying. |
| 02:45:50 |
Thank you. |
| 02:45:54 |
I quit smoking pot. |
| 02:45:56 |
It's not 'cause we're not dating. |
| 02:46:02 |
It was just time. |
| 02:46:05 |
It's weird how you can need something |
| 02:46:09 |
not need it anymore. |
| 02:46:11 |
Just like that. |
| 02:46:29 |
It's so weird, you know. |
| 02:46:34 |
You're on something right now, |
| 02:46:37 |
- Excuse me? |
| 02:46:41 |
- What did that boyfriend give you? |
| 02:46:44 |
I look like shit because I've |
| 02:46:46 |
Unlike you, who has yet to shed a tear, |
| 02:46:49 |
- He wants to make sure you're okay. |
| 02:46:52 |
That's crap. Since I've have a boyfriend |
| 02:46:54 |
- You stopped calling us. |
| 02:46:57 |
Admit that you don't talk to me because |
| 02:47:01 |
You're a muscle boy's plaything |
| 02:47:03 |
That hardly constitutes |
| 02:47:05 |
That is more than you've ever had, |
| 02:47:12 |
His friends... |
| 02:47:15 |
they're not like us. |
| 02:47:17 |
When they go out, |
| 02:47:21 |
We're always so miserable. |
| 02:47:23 |
We make each other miserable. |
| 02:47:27 |
Why? |
| 02:47:29 |
Is it such a bad thing |
| 02:47:31 |
It is if you have to pay |
| 02:47:41 |
- What did I miss? |
| 02:47:44 |
Just spoke to Purple Guy. |
| 02:47:48 |
I can't go. I'm supposed to have dinner |
| 02:47:51 |
- Maybe I'll catch up after. |
| 02:47:56 |
I'm not gonna go either. |
| 02:47:58 |
I'll talk to you guys tomorrow. |
| 02:48:12 |
You should go with them. |
| 02:48:14 |
I thought maybe we could talk |
| 02:48:16 |
- We haven't really discussed-- |
| 02:48:20 |
- Could you tell me when is? |
| 02:48:24 |
You've barely even looked at me |
| 02:48:27 |
You've spent all week hiding |
| 02:48:29 |
Hiding? Is that what |
| 02:48:32 |
Can you even imagine |
| 02:48:34 |
No, you can't. |
| 02:48:38 |
So don't tell me |
| 02:48:40 |
All we did was hook up. |
| 02:48:43 |
We can talk about it later. |
| 02:48:46 |
You're right. |
| 02:48:49 |
All we did was hook up. |
| 02:51:58 |
Yeah, this is he. |
| 02:52:00 |
What? |
| 02:52:02 |
Jesus! |
| 02:52:07 |
Benji Waters? |
| 02:52:37 |
I just got the page. |
| 02:52:40 |
They pumped his stomach. |
| 02:52:42 |
- Can I see him? |
| 02:52:45 |
- Patrick's in there right now. |
| 02:52:47 |
- How the fuck could this happen? |
| 02:52:51 |
We weren't there. |
| 02:52:54 |
Did you two come together? |
| 02:53:00 |
What is his problem? |
| 02:53:03 |
Him and Kevin slept together |
| 02:53:05 |
You, Senor Disheveled, obviously came |
| 02:53:09 |
- Are the clouds lifting? |
| 02:53:12 |
I've been away all month. |
| 02:53:15 |
- You could help me out. |
| 02:53:18 |
Terrific. |
| 02:53:19 |
The one time you bastards actually keep |
| 02:53:24 |
Now I feel like shit. |
| 02:53:26 |
I think that's |
| 02:53:32 |
- I'm sorry. |
| 02:53:35 |
I slept with Cole |
| 02:53:37 |
You did exactly what you're supposed to |
| 02:53:40 |
And you did it |
| 02:53:42 |
It doesn't matter. |
| 02:53:44 |
No, Kevin. I was wrong. |
| 02:53:47 |
When I slept with you, I knew it |
| 02:53:50 |
And if there was anything I've been |
| 02:53:55 |
well, that would be it. |
| 02:53:57 |
So what, |
| 02:53:59 |
Or course I am. I've been crazy about |
| 02:54:10 |
- You were the wish. |
| 02:54:16 |
The problem is |
| 02:54:19 |
I thought that... |
| 02:54:22 |
all a relationship would take |
| 02:54:26 |
but it's so much more than that. |
| 02:54:28 |
Like what? |
| 02:54:30 |
Like the fact that I'm 28 years old and |
| 02:54:35 |
- That's not true. |
| 02:54:38 |
And I'm okay with it. |
| 02:54:41 |
I didn't get to be gay for 25 years. |
| 02:54:48 |
But I need to move on. |
| 02:54:50 |
I need to make my life |
| 02:54:54 |
instead of just my friends |
| 02:54:58 |
That's the only way I'll have something |
| 02:55:07 |
Do you see that? |
| 02:55:12 |
Tell me you see that. |
| 02:55:14 |
Can't you move on |
| 02:55:17 |
Not if that someone |
| 02:55:43 |
Hey, guys. |
| 02:55:45 |
Hey, hag. |
| 02:55:47 |
Why'd you go and do |
| 02:55:49 |
I'm sorry, guys. |
| 02:55:52 |
- I'm sorry, Patrick. |
| 02:55:58 |
I am so Demi Moore |
| 02:56:02 |
You can be Demi Moore. |
| 02:56:05 |
- I get to be Mare Winningham. |
| 02:56:10 |
- Which one do I get to be? |
| 02:56:16 |
'Cause you're just |
| 02:56:19 |
You can't help yourself. |
| 02:56:35 |
Marshall, I don't care |
| 02:56:40 |
Marshall, open up. |
| 02:56:46 |
What the hell are you doing? |
| 02:56:49 |
This. |
| 02:56:51 |
- All right, that's it, asshole. |
| 02:57:01 |
You told me once that you |
| 02:57:04 |
You didn't wait long enough. |
| 02:57:08 |
I've never been more awake |
| 02:57:11 |
And I admit it. I fucked up. |
| 02:57:15 |
there would've been something wrong |
| 02:57:19 |
And I wish |
| 02:57:22 |
I wish I could take back all the times |
| 02:57:26 |
But I'll tell you right now... |
| 02:57:28 |
I loved you. |
| 02:57:32 |
I still love you. |
| 02:57:36 |
It has nothing to do |
| 02:57:38 |
It has to do with you. |
| 02:57:42 |
Because you are sweet, |
| 02:57:47 |
uncomplicated. |
| 02:57:49 |
And you're so beautiful. |
| 02:57:52 |
I hope that you're happy together. |
| 02:57:57 |
works out and that he is |
| 02:58:01 |
because you deserve it. |
| 02:58:03 |
But if he's not and it ends, |
| 02:58:09 |
It's my turn to wait, |
| 02:58:37 |
- "You really don't need to be here." |
| 02:58:39 |
because Anne had a showing |
| 02:58:42 |
and because the baby book |
| 02:58:45 |
And no matter how tough you think |
| 02:58:48 |
- Is this ready yet? |
| 02:58:51 |
Why don't you just sit down |
| 02:58:54 |
- Why don't you bite me? |
| 02:58:58 |
- If I sucked tits-- |
| 02:59:01 |
It's ready now. |
| 02:59:07 |
That's the baby. |
| 02:59:25 |
Miss Thing, where have you been? I have |
| 02:59:29 |
I was at the closing on my house. |
| 02:59:31 |
Sorry don't feed the bulldog, sugar. |
| 02:59:33 |
Question. How much does Purple Guy |
| 02:59:37 |
It's your last night, hag. So you don't |
| 02:59:43 |
Surprise! |
| 03:00:22 |
I had forgotten Dennis |
| 03:00:25 |
I know. They're from |
| 03:00:28 |
So, did Leslie tell you? |
| 03:00:31 |
Oh, that is so cool. |
| 03:00:37 |
It's a Jack. |
| 03:00:40 |
I'm an actor. |
| 03:00:42 |
Kip Rogers. Wow. |
| 03:00:45 |
I hear he's gay. |
| 03:00:47 |
No, he's not gay. |
| 03:00:49 |
Okay, so check this shit out. |
| 03:00:52 |
Paul called me. |
| 03:00:54 |
He said he wants to talk. He said |
| 03:00:58 |
This is a good thing. |
| 03:01:00 |
for the final phase |
| 03:01:03 |
Try closure. |
| 03:01:07 |
Sorry I'm late. |
| 03:01:10 |
I told you not to take the freeways. |
| 03:01:19 |
It's for Europe. |
| 03:01:22 |
Look, got your initials on it. |
| 03:01:29 |
I saw that guy you came with. |
| 03:01:32 |
Whatever. We met at a club |
| 03:01:35 |
- You know how it is. |
| 03:01:40 |
I'll be back. |
| 03:01:42 |
I'll be here. |
| 03:01:45 |
- Okay, hag, you ready for your gift? |
| 03:01:47 |
- You didn't have to get me a gift. |
| 03:01:51 |
- It was nothing, really. |
| 03:01:54 |
I am pleased to present... |
| 03:01:56 |
the premiere |
| 03:01:59 |
of budding photojournalist... |
| 03:02:02 |
our very own European-bound |
| 03:02:24 |
- Where did you guys get these? |
| 03:02:28 |
This one's out of focus. |
| 03:02:30 |
After a few drinks, |
| 03:02:33 |
Taylor, get the pitchers. |
| 03:02:37 |
Let's play |
| 03:02:52 |
{y:i}A lot of people ask me |
| 03:02:55 |
{y:i}Fact is, I don't know. |
| 03:02:59 |
{y:i}But what I do remember, |
| 03:03:02 |
{y:i}is the moment |
| 03:03:06 |
{y:i}It was when I met these guys... |
| 03:03:09 |
{y:i}my friends. |
