Brothers Bloom The

en
00:00:31 NARRATOR: As far as con man stories go,
00:00:35 Of grifters, ropers, faro-fixers,
00:00:41 But if one bears a bookmark
00:00:45 it would be that of Penelope,
00:00:51 At 10 and 13, Bloom and Stephen,
00:00:53 the younger and the old,
00:00:55 had been through several foster families.
00:00:59 STEPHEN: No!
00:01:01 Thirty-eight, all told.
00:01:04 Mischief moved them on in life,
00:01:06 and moving kept them close.
00:01:08 For Bloom had Stephen,
00:01:11 and both had more than most.
00:01:15 Another home, another Main Street.
00:01:17 Stephen looked around
00:01:20 Bloom, we've hit a one-hat town.
00:01:23 One theater. One carwash. One cafe.
00:01:28 which, through some mishap, had one leg.
00:01:30 Sweet Jesus. Look at that.
00:01:33 (SCHOOL BELL RINGING)
00:01:34 One public school,
00:01:35 one tight-knit group of local well-off kids.
00:01:38 Their pocket-change bought rocket pops.
00:01:41 The brothers...
00:01:42 Pixy Stix.
00:01:43 They were the they,
00:01:49 always there in every town.
00:01:52 Playground bourgeoisies.
00:02:01 (CHILDREN CHATTERING)
00:02:17 Could he simply...
00:02:19 STEPHEN: Talk to her!
00:02:21 Just drop his fears and go?
00:02:24 Leave his brother in the woods,
00:02:30 No.
00:02:32 So, in the root of Stephen's psyche,
00:02:37 A seed of grand epiphany. A hook. A tale.
00:02:42 -A plan.
00:02:44 both for profit
00:02:47 A simple con in 15 steps.
00:02:51 And this is where we start.
00:02:55 And then, as if a curtain
00:03:01 some barrier
00:03:05 Hi.
00:03:08 So Bloom performed his role
00:03:13 And being who he wasn't,
00:03:17 (CHUCKLING)
00:03:34 So, the tale. You tell them...
00:03:37 There's a hermit in the woods.
00:03:40 A one-eyed, steel-toothed vagabond.
00:03:43 -With blood-red eyes?
00:03:45 He stopped you, coming home from school.
00:03:47 And told me of a cave.
00:03:48 What kind of cave?
00:03:50 A cave of wonder.
00:03:52 (SCOFFS)
00:03:53 Shut up, Dave.
00:03:54 At noon on every Sunday,
00:03:57 which flutters, like a butterfly.
00:03:59 -Awill-o'-wisp?
00:04:01 it guides you...
00:04:02 If you can keep up...
00:04:04 ...to where the treasures lay.
00:04:05 -So where's this cave?
00:04:07 (EXCLAIMS)
00:04:08 The hermit didn't say.
00:04:10 He got this greedy,
00:04:15 and said he'd tell for 30 bucks.
00:04:20 Well, that’s just 2 bucks each!
00:04:22 ALL LAUGHING)
00:04:25 And so that Sunday, straight from church,
00:04:28 into the woods Bloom led.
00:04:36 They stopped. Their hearts leapt.
00:04:41 Just like the hermit said.
00:04:55 ALL EXCLAIMING)
00:04:59 For just one moment,
00:05:03 He'd catch the light and find the treasure,
00:05:08 but the moment passed.
00:05:24 They didn't catch the will-o'-wisp,
00:05:28 It seems to me that in the end,
00:05:31 is where each one involved
00:05:37 Yeah, I guess so.
00:05:39 Our fledgling thieves were satisfied.
00:05:43 The children's parents, less so.
00:05:46 (GROANS)
00:05:52 A bitter ending? Maybe.
00:05:55 But there's sweetness in the mix.
00:05:57 The brothers Bloom had found their calling,
00:06:00 as shown in number six.
00:06:03 "Cut" meant to negotiate.
00:06:04 "Percent," percentage deal.
00:06:07 O'Henry's was the town's
00:06:11 Pleasure doing business with you.
00:06:16 So how's it feel?
00:06:19 n truth, young Bloom
00:06:23 And so, we'll skip ahead now in our story.
00:06:26 Let 'em melt.
00:07:17 He gets the scarab,
00:07:18 you get the money, and I get the girl.
00:07:21 So in the end,
00:07:24 (LAUGHING)
00:07:28 STEPHEN: Victor!
00:07:32 Charleston, what have you done?
00:07:39 Oh, God, he's dead!
00:07:41 He was the only one who knew
00:07:44 and you shot him! Charleston, you dunce!
00:07:50 The man named Charleston that you met
00:07:52 four months and 1, 000 years ago
00:07:54 in a hotel bar in Jodhpur is dead.
00:07:57 If we see each other again,
00:08:01 As for the money,
00:08:07 let it rot.
00:08:20 (FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
00:08:40 Wow!
00:08:42 "Wow" is the word you're looking for! Wow!
00:08:47 You're a genius, Stephen.
00:08:49 We're genius, Bloom.
00:08:53 BLOOM: Now, in defense of that shit-eating
00:08:57 what he just pulled off was pretty amazing.
00:08:59 He hinged the entire con on this question.
00:09:03 Would Charleston, our spineless mark,
00:09:05 would he actually pull that trigger?
00:09:09 Maybe.
00:09:11 But Stephen wanted better odds.
00:09:12 He positioned me in the same spot where,
00:09:15 Charleston's wife had stood
00:09:17 He picked my suit to match her outfit.
00:09:19 He even phonetically matched
00:09:23 This is the end, Charleston.
00:09:25 You've always been such a dunce.
00:09:27 So in the end,
00:09:33 Tastes like tinfoil.
00:09:34 So does real blood.
00:09:36 Buy you a drink?
00:09:42 Nine months and 1 ,000 years ago.
00:09:44 He was quoting from Kipling.
00:09:48 No, he didn't.
00:09:50 So where's this wrap party?
00:09:52 Make way, make room
00:09:55 ALL CHEERING)
00:09:57 Yeah, yeah!
00:10:01 All right, here we go.
00:10:04 Think of a card. You got it?
00:10:10 No.
00:10:11 If I do it enough,
00:10:13 And then it'll be
00:10:18 It's true you never work
00:10:21 Well, shit. Except for the...
00:10:23 Bang Bang?
00:10:24 You know, I'm pretty big into anime.
00:10:27 STEPHEN: She's our fifth Beatle.
00:10:30 She knows the ins and outs.
00:10:32 l don't think she speaks
00:10:35 Campari.
00:10:36 So, she's with you and Bloom till the end?
00:10:39 Till the wind changes.
00:10:43 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
00:11:04 Where is Bloom?
00:11:19 There you are.
00:11:21 You hiding?
00:11:23 Yep.
00:11:24 I've been learning.
00:11:26 Stephen likes to talk about you.
00:11:28 He tell you the cave story?
00:11:30 Is it true?
00:11:33 What else did he tell you?
00:11:36 You two kicked around until your early teens
00:11:39 winding up in the grotty outskirts
00:11:43 where you learned the big con from an
00:11:48 Is that true?
00:11:50 -That was his name?
00:11:53 And he was your mentor.
00:11:56 But I get the sense it ended badly.
00:11:59 Stephen took his eye out
00:12:02 Why did he do that?
00:12:04 The brothers Bloom lit out on their own
00:12:07 to make their fortune as gentleman thieves.
00:12:10 Sounds romantic.
00:12:13 It does.
00:12:24 You don't understand what my brother does.
00:12:31 He writes his cons
00:12:34 with thematic arcs
00:12:39 And he wrote me as the vulnerable antihero.
00:12:45 And that's why you think you wanna kiss me.
00:12:50 It's a con.
00:12:59 (WHISPERING) I'm going nuts.
00:13:04 There's the big two.
00:13:15 (SIGHS)
00:13:16 We missed the sunrise.
00:13:19 That would have been nice.
00:13:22 (THUNDER RUMBLING)
00:13:33 Is this the bathroom?
00:13:35 (MUMBLING)
00:13:36 No. This is camels.
00:13:38 (WHISTLES)
00:13:39 Hold on, l must make piss.
00:14:02 At least you're honest. All right, let's do this.
00:14:04 Let’s just get it done. So, first you say,
00:14:06 "I’m quitting, Stephen. I’m out." Then I say...
00:14:09 -Do we have to go through this again?
00:14:12 And then you make a show
00:14:14 and you say, "No,
00:14:16 "This time, I’m really out."
00:14:18 And then you say, "Let's have a drink,"
00:14:20 "and in the morning, Bloom,
00:14:24 It’s a major design
00:14:26 -"And we'll be moving on."
00:14:28 -Listen to me, Stephen. l...
00:14:29 This Scotch cost more than your suit.
00:14:31 Listen to me.
00:14:33 The flask stopped a bullet in Normandy.
00:14:34 Listen!
00:14:38 (BELLOWING)
00:14:40 Holy shit.
00:14:43 That's my new favorite camel.
00:14:46 (CHUCKLING)
00:14:51 I hate you. Okay?
00:14:59 Oh, God, l can't do this anymore.
00:15:02 I can't wake up next to another person
00:15:07 And I’m 35 years old. I don't...
00:15:09 I’m useless. I’m crippled.
00:15:12 I don't...
00:15:14 I've only ever lived life
00:15:18 that are written for me by you.
00:15:22 Tell me what you want.
00:15:24 Why? So you can write me a role
00:15:27 You're not listening to me!
00:15:29 I want a real thing.
00:15:34 l want a...
00:15:37 l just... l want... l... want...
00:15:42 -You want an unwritten life.
00:15:51 I'm going away,
00:15:53 somewhere where you and Bang Bang
00:15:54 won't even be able to track me down.
00:15:55 So don't try it, okay? No more stories.
00:16:01 I love you. Goodbye.
00:16:55 How'd you find me?
00:16:56 Bang Bang.
00:16:59 How'd she find me?
00:17:03 How you been?
00:17:06 Great.
00:17:11 I've been doing a lot of thinking
00:17:15 and I've come to the conclusion
00:17:18 You think you do, but you don't.
00:17:22 Hey, come here.
00:17:25 I'm quit, Stephen.
00:17:32 Where are we going?
00:17:34 New Jersey.
00:17:37 Let me grab my coat.
00:17:47 So, where are we?
00:17:50 STEPHEN: The largest private residence
00:17:53 home of our final mark.
00:17:55 Daddy was an oil tycoon, a Hearst type,
00:17:57 built a Xanadu to match,
00:18:01 Mom followed
00:18:04 after 10 years of fighting a disease
00:18:08 Thank you. Leaving our sucker all alone
00:18:13 (SPORTS CAR REVVING)
00:18:14 with an insane amount of very liquid assets.
00:18:16 What the hell is that?
00:18:18 Duck.
00:18:25 What the hell?
00:18:31 (ENGINE REVVING)
00:18:34 (TIRES SQUEALING)
00:19:07 Get the car.
00:19:08 -STEPHEN: Bloom.
00:19:11 You know we don't do women.
00:19:13 And it's not a morality thing or a thing.
00:19:15 It’s... Whatever it is,
00:19:17 it’s just our rule. So what are we...
00:19:22 Controversial choice.
00:19:24 So no, is what I’m saying, all right?
00:19:27 I'll be in Montenegro, drinking.
00:19:32 Ah, Penelope Stamp, 33.
00:19:37 Lived at home her whole life.
00:19:42 An eccentric shut-in rich bitch?
00:19:46 She's bored. She's a little seed in the snow.
00:19:49 We're going to put her on a grand adventure,
00:19:52 She needs sprouting.
00:19:56 (SIGHS)
00:19:57 So this is the big plan, huh?
00:19:59 Lure me back in with some beautiful,
00:20:10 Seriously, Stephen. Amateur night.
00:20:23 I’m not saying yes, but what’s the con?
00:20:25 It’s actually pretty simple.
00:20:29 We're traveling the world by steamer ship.
00:20:31 STEPHEN: Bang! Give her
00:20:35 And that's how it ends in Mexico,
00:20:37 burst of violence,
00:20:40 What do you think?
00:20:42 You got something up your sleeve.
00:20:44 (FLY BUZZING)
00:20:45 This is about me, right? Somehow.
00:20:53 Now, this might not be
00:20:54 but they've all been about you.
00:20:59 Maybe that's why they've none been perfect,
00:21:01 because I’ve never been
00:21:05 This isn't gonna give me what l want.
00:21:22 This will be the last one.
00:21:26 You'll let me go.
00:21:27 I’ll never ask you to do another con again.
00:21:34 Make it a Schwinn.
00:21:48 There are less painful ways
00:21:52 (MIMICKING CRYING)
00:21:54 Score to beat is 7.9.
00:21:56 Keep your head in the game.
00:22:00 This is a banana seat, man!
00:22:04 Don't give me that blank look,
00:22:06 you know what a goddamn banana seat is.
00:22:08 Oh!
00:22:16 Shit.
00:22:26 Shit!
00:22:35 (CRASHING)
00:22:38 BLOOM: There's actually a knack to this.
00:22:39 If you're trying to fast track
00:22:42 there's nothing quite as effective
00:22:45 as having your first conversation
00:22:47 be from a hospital bed they put you in.
00:22:58 (GROANING)
00:23:03 What? Oh, come on.
00:23:14 (REVVING)
00:23:16 (TIRES SCREECHING)
00:23:42 (CRASHING)
00:23:56 STEPHEN: I actually think this is kind of
00:24:01 Dostoevsky was an epileptic.
00:24:04 His seizures were preceded
00:24:07 a soft of opening of his spiritual eye.
00:24:09 I think the fact that she saw your face
00:24:13 is a pretty goddamn good foot
00:24:17 (BANG BANG BURPING)
00:24:23 The next step,
00:24:25 is to figure out a way to insinuate yourself
00:24:30 I think they took my car.
00:24:38 -Yeah.
00:24:40 I’m gonna...
00:25:00 Step three, engagement.
00:25:02 Find a connection with your mark
00:25:05 Get invited in for coffee.
00:25:08 Set your hook.
00:25:10 ...didn't really have anyone
00:25:13 and our father was in the antique business.
00:25:18 We realized one day we saw the dealers
00:25:21 who were finding and selling us the antiques
00:25:24 coming from exotic countries,
00:25:28 around the world, and...
00:25:31 The air would, like,
00:25:34 before a rain, you know,
00:25:38 and you could just
00:25:43 smell midnight trains to Paris
00:25:47 and steamer ships
00:25:51 (PENELOPE INHALES)
00:25:56 It could... Excuse me; I’m sorry, uh...
00:26:00 -Are you okay?
00:26:02 -Sorry.
00:26:04 I’m really bad at talking to people.
00:26:06 That's okay.
00:26:11 You want me to go?
00:26:12 No. No, I really want to talk to you.
00:26:31 So...
00:26:34 What kind of stuff do you do?
00:26:37 Nothing. Maybe you should go.
00:26:42 All right, I’ll just finish my...
00:26:44 I collect hobbies.
00:26:46 I see someone doing something I like,
00:26:49 and l get books and l learn how to do it.
00:26:52 Hmm.
00:26:54 Anything interesting?
00:26:57 Not really.
00:27:05 (PLAYING PIANO)
00:27:17 (EXCLAIMS)
00:27:25 (HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING)
00:27:26 (SINGNG) Like he had a disease
00:27:30 -I really am not comfortable with this at all.
00:27:32 -This is a running chainsaw.
00:27:44 You just learn this stuff here by yourself?
00:27:50 Kind of sad?
00:27:51 No.
00:27:56 So, how do you plan to use all these skills?
00:27:59 I don't know. I’m not a planner.
00:28:03 Like, look at this watermelon.
00:28:08 You can make a pinhole camera
00:28:13 It’s gotta warp the image though, right?
00:28:16 Yeah, yeah it does.
00:28:18 I mean, that's what's good about it.
00:28:20 I mean, you could point this baby
00:28:23 at the most menial, everyday little thing,
00:28:25 like the fabric, or you’re...
00:28:30 Your face, or anything,
00:28:32 and depending on
00:28:34 it's gonna be warped and peculiar
00:28:39 and it's not gonna be reproduction,
00:28:43 it's storytelling.
00:28:47 It’s a lie that tells the truth.
00:28:49 l don't know about truths.`
00:28:52 A photograph is a secret about a secret.
00:28:54 The more it tells you, less you know.
00:28:59 What's changed between now
00:29:01 'Cause this is sort of like a conversation.
00:29:07 Well, shit.
00:29:10 (TONIGHT I'LL BE STAYING HERE
00:29:22 Throw my ticket out the window
00:29:28 Throw my suitcase out there, too
00:29:35 Throw my troubles out the door
00:29:38 l don't need them anymore
00:29:41 'Cause tonight I’ll be staying here with you
00:29:44 Well...
00:29:46 l should...
00:29:48 It’s late.
00:29:50 -So...
00:29:55 l meet a lot of people in my job
00:29:57 l have to professionally act interested in.
00:30:01 It’s a good feeling
00:30:07 Are you leaving?
00:30:11 Yeah.
00:30:12 Oh.
00:30:13 Coming back?
00:30:15 Well, next time I’m in town.
00:30:18 We're taking a steamer at noon tomorrow
00:30:21 to the continent for a few months.
00:30:23 Paris and Greece, l think.
00:30:28 I’ve got to get a hat.
00:30:30 Well, thanks for
00:30:34 And the good conversation.
00:30:40 All right.
00:30:45 Goodbye, Penelope.
00:30:47 Goodbye, Bloom.
00:31:00 (CAR STARTING)
00:31:02 (FOGHORN BLARES)
00:31:06 She isn't coming, man.
00:31:09 You'll have two weeks with her on the boat.
00:31:10 l need another day to get her on the boat.
00:31:12 She's not hooked. I’ve had one session,
00:31:14 and we mostly talked watermelons
00:31:18 It’s not the talking that hooked her.
00:31:21 l think you're wrong.
00:31:22 PENELOPE: Hey, get out of the street, idiot!
00:31:23 (CRASHING)
00:31:25 MAN: Watch it!
00:31:35 -Hey.
00:31:40 What are you doing here?
00:31:42 Uh...
00:31:46 l wanna give you this money
00:31:51 -That's all right. It’s not necessary, really.
00:31:55 (FOGHORN BLARING)
00:31:59 Hey, where is this boat going?
00:32:20 (STEPHEN EXCLAIMS)
00:32:24 Penelope, my brother Stephen.
00:32:27 Glad to make your acquaintance.
00:32:29 Bloom's told me so much about you.
00:32:31 You're the epileptic photographer?
00:32:34 Sort of.
00:32:35 And this is my personal assistant
00:32:38 (YELLS)
00:32:39 and private masseuse, Mrs. Yueng Ling.
00:32:42 Yuengling like the beer?
00:32:43 (CHUCKLES) No.
00:32:50 So, what are your plans in Greece?
00:32:52 -I don't plan.
00:33:03 (BEGIN THE BEGUINE PLAYING)
00:33:09 When they begin the beguine
00:33:15 It brings back the sound of music so tender
00:33:21 BLOOM: You look very nice.
00:33:23 It brings back a night of tropical splendor
00:33:29 It brings back a memory of green
00:33:34 (BLOOM CHUCKLES)
00:33:37 What was your childhood like?
00:33:40 l made cameras out of watermelons.
00:33:44 Lonely?
00:33:49 When l was five, l got really bad rashes
00:33:56 So my mom took me to the doctor,
00:33:58 and he did that test
00:34:00 where they use needles
00:34:04 with different toxins on them, you know,
00:34:06 to see which ones you're allergic to.
00:34:08 Next day l come in,
00:34:12 and my back is a patch of oily, moldy,
00:34:13 blackish-green double-puff marshmallows.
00:34:17 l was allergic to everything.
00:34:20 So they sealed the house with plastic
00:34:23 and a special ventilation system,
00:34:25 and l spent the rest of my childhood
00:34:29 Alone.
00:34:31 Lonely.
00:34:33 -Wow.
00:34:35 they discovered what l was
00:34:40 the hypodermic needles were made out of.
00:34:45 Then l was gonna leave,
00:34:48 but my mom got sick. So l stayed.
00:34:52 She stayed sick a really long time.
00:34:56 Do you...
00:34:59 Feel cheated?
00:35:01 The trick to not feeling cheated
00:35:05 So,
00:35:07 l decided this wasn't a story
00:35:11 trapped in a house that
00:35:15 wasting her life on a dying person
00:35:21 This was a story about a girl who could find
00:35:27 any little thing.
00:35:30 And even love the person
00:35:34 And l told myself this story
00:35:39 Now, did doing this help me
00:35:44 or did it blind me
00:35:49 l don't know. But either way,
00:35:52 l was the one telling my own story, so...
00:35:56 No, l don't feel cheated at all.
00:36:13 l don't suppose in all your hobby-acquiring,
00:36:15 you ever learned how to dance?
00:36:18 l went through a phase when l was mildly
00:36:23 Give me a minute.
00:36:39 (THE CURATOR GREETING IN FRENCH)
00:36:47 (GREETS IN FRENCH)
00:37:02 It’s a long time since l last encountered
00:37:09 Are you in antiques?
00:37:15 Antique?
00:37:18 l wonder, my dear, if you know
00:37:30 A little fear might suit you, l think.
00:37:35 (SAYS GOODBYE IN FRENCH)
00:37:51 It isn't a Spanish band,
00:37:59 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
00:38:37 (FOGHORN BLARING)
00:38:44 Mmm...
00:38:58 And then... This is the really important part.
00:39:01 You have to make a little,
00:39:12 The ship's too small for us
00:39:15 We might as well have this out now.
00:39:18 Penelope, do you know our friend?
00:39:21 Only as the creepy Frenchman.
00:39:23 Book-learned. You know your languages
00:39:26 but not your accents, mademoiselle.
00:39:27 -No, l am Belgian.
00:39:30 Maximilian Melville, at your service.
00:39:33 Also known in certain professional circles
00:39:36 Pleased to make your acquaintance.
00:39:39 l am a curator, presently at
00:39:44 Yeah. And yourself?
00:39:46 I’m an epileptic photographer.
00:39:49 Good for you. And you boys?
00:39:52 We run a legitimate
00:39:55 Ah.
00:39:57 (SPEAKING IN FRENCH)
00:40:00 We've gone straight, Max.
00:40:02 Pardon, but why would you ascend to
00:40:06 just to toss it away, huh? To do what?
00:40:10 To sell terra cotta
00:40:14 -l don't think so.
00:40:18 You know, the mademoiselle,
00:40:22 Maybe she is unawares?
00:40:24 Eat your waffles, fat man.
00:40:26 Unawares that the brothers Bloom, in fact,
00:40:31 are the two most respected
00:40:35 smugglers of antiques in the Western world.
00:40:38 Were. We've been on
00:40:42 Oh, oh. Well, if that is that,
00:40:48 Oh.
00:40:51 -Your name's Melville.
00:40:54 Right.
00:40:56 No, sorry, um,
00:41:00 This ship is called the Fidele,
00:41:02 which is the name of the ship
00:41:08 -So that's weird.
00:41:15 l have never read that.
00:41:23 Smugglers. It’s like an adventure story.
00:41:28 Whose idea was it to go straight?
00:41:31 Mine. Stephen always loved the life.
00:41:35 Then he was almost killed
00:41:39 These two thugs
00:41:42 worked him beyond all reason.
00:41:44 Have at me, you ham-headed bastard!
00:41:48 Shit!
00:41:49 Sometimes I think he'd love to die on a job.
00:41:53 Cornered at midnight on a run to Jakarta.
00:41:57 That's his dream,
00:41:59 to tell a story so well it fulfills itself.
00:42:04 Somehow.
00:42:07 It would finally make it real for him.
00:42:10 That's kind of the thing we all want.
00:42:16 Well, trying to get something real by telling
00:42:22 Trust me on that one.
00:42:37 She's different. She knows...
00:42:41 Sometimes l feel like she knows everything.
00:42:44 Doesn't that worry you?
00:42:46 No, but something about her
00:42:51 She feels like one of your characters.
00:43:00 The day l con you is the day l die, Bloom.
00:43:06 How'd you get the Belgian on our budget?
00:43:09 He's beautiful, right?
00:43:11 l didn't expect him to actually be Belgian.
00:43:13 I’m not sure he is. I’m off to bed.
00:43:17 Hey.
00:43:20 The only real danger in this whole play
00:43:23 is that you actually fall in love with her.
00:43:25 Hey, look at me.
00:43:28 Mexico is closer than you think.
00:43:31 Don't fall in love with her, Bloom.
00:43:48 Good luck, boys, with the antiquing, huh.
00:43:59 (SPEAKING IN FRENCH)
00:44:02 (CLICKS TONGUE)
00:44:08 My French is a little rusty,
00:44:09 but l believe he said,
00:44:13 He came out of nowhere last night.
00:44:15 Mademoiselle, l will make you a proposition.
00:44:18 Oh, Lord. What has he got?
00:44:20 An 8th-century prayer book.
00:44:22 He steals pieces from his museum in Prague,
00:44:24 and sells them off through smugglers.
00:44:26 That's what he does.
00:44:27 I wonder who's his fence?
00:44:29 It’s probably his Spanish guy, right?
00:44:30 Did he say who’s buying?
00:44:31 Yeah, an Argentinean. Argentine? Argent...
00:44:35 A gentleman from the Argentine.
00:44:37 So, The Curator will sell it to a middleman
00:44:43 and then the Argentine...
00:44:47 he will pay $2.5.
00:44:50 (SIGHING)
00:44:51 It’s not bad.
00:44:54 I’m sorry you had to deal with that guy.
00:44:58 Where's that cab going?
00:45:00 Train station.
00:45:02 Where's the train going?
00:45:03 Prague.
00:45:06 Come on! Let's be smugglers.
00:45:10 l mean, l think it'd be fun. We should do this.
00:45:12 -No.
00:45:15 Well, first off, we don't have $1 million.
00:45:18 That's like, I’ve got, what... That's whatever.
00:45:20 l mean, give me a real reason.
00:45:21 This is real. It’s dangerous.
00:45:25 -This could go very bad.
00:45:28 Well, l think
00:45:31 so, if you three want to join
00:45:34 I’ll, you know, consider it.
00:45:39 This isn't an adventure story.
00:45:41 (LAUGHING) What are you talking about?
00:45:44 Well, it totally is!
00:46:00 PENELOPE: Go, go, go. Go, go.
00:46:03 MAN: You there, come back here!
00:46:05 MAN: This is not for free.
00:46:15 (SHUSHING)
00:46:16 Wait up. Where are you?
00:46:17 Come here. Come here.
00:46:22 We're smuggling.
00:46:27 From the snack car.
00:46:32 She's making a flag
00:46:34 This afternoon,
00:46:37 I thought she was writing a letter, a journal.
00:46:40 No. Come on, she's getting way too into this.
00:46:42 (STEPHEN CHUCKLING)
00:46:43 It’s not funny. l don't like this Prague con
00:46:47 You’re just leaving too much to chance.
00:46:48 Listen, the whole point of this
00:46:49 was to sweep her off her feet.
00:46:51 So why don't you let her enjoy it?
00:46:53 While it lasts?
00:47:04 This came through just now?
00:47:08 "Dear Stephen. Stop. Word on the wire is..."
00:47:10 DIAMOND DOG: "...The brothers B.
00:47:13 "I’m heading there myself.
00:47:14 "Would love to see my boys.
00:47:18 Our old Fagin is back. The Diamond Dog.
00:47:23 Wire him back for me.
00:47:24 Dear Dog. Stop.
00:47:26 Unless you feel an excess of eyeballs
00:47:29 l highly suggest you stay far away from
00:47:34 Affectionately... Et cetera.
00:47:49 PENELOPE: You've taken this train before?
00:47:52 -Yeah.
00:47:54 So this is all just like, "Whatever" to you.
00:47:57 Well, l mean, usually, I'd just, you know,
00:47:59 play cards and drink with Bang Bang
00:48:02 Bang who?
00:48:06 Yueng Ling.
00:48:07 -Bang Bang's her smuggler nickname.
00:48:10 So how about me?
00:48:13 Do l get a smuggler nickname?
00:48:14 No.
00:48:20 (SIGHS)
00:48:22 l think you're constipated.
00:48:26 In your fucking soul.
00:48:33 l think
00:48:35 you might have a really big load of grumpy,
00:48:41 -What?
00:48:44 I’m pretending to be a smuggler.
00:48:48 Right?
00:48:49 But what you don't know is,
00:48:53 l am a full-on smuggler.
00:48:58 'Cause l tell it like l own it.
00:49:01 You know what your problem is?
00:49:07 l mean, just enjoy the ride, man.
00:49:10 l mean...
00:49:13 (THUNDER CRACKLING)
00:49:15 (SHUSHING)
00:49:21 l love thunderstorms.
00:49:24 (MOANING)
00:49:52 (SCREAMING EXCITEDLY)
00:49:55 Oh, my God. I’m just so horny.
00:49:57 Goodnight.
00:50:12 Here's the big two.
00:50:23 Last time l was in Prague, l was in love.
00:50:26 What was she like?
00:50:29 Pale skin, long feet.
00:50:33 So...
00:50:36 And that's mine.
00:50:40 Bloom and l will secure lodging.
00:50:45 Miss Yueng Ling will scout out the museum.
00:50:49 You will go to the bank.
00:50:51 That wire should have cleared
00:50:53 -Cash?
00:50:56 Only movie thugs and Russians
00:51:00 You're gonna get a certified check.
00:51:06 (BELL RINGING)
00:51:09 THE CURATOR: Who the hell is that?
00:51:12 A Candy-gram.
00:51:13 Max, it's us, for Christ's sake.
00:51:16 Whoa!
00:51:22 -Max! Max, it's us, Bloom.
00:51:24 -Jesus, Max, easy...
00:51:26 Whoa, now!
00:51:28 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good morning.
00:51:30 Come in. l have been drinking, you know.
00:51:36 So,
00:51:37 (BURPING)
00:51:41 beside the basilica,
00:51:47 (STOMACH RUMBLING)
00:51:48 And underneath them,
00:51:51 there's a little section of catacombs.
00:51:54 And of course, the book.
00:51:58 But l am the curator, so l just walk in
00:52:00 and l pinch the copy girl's babouche.
00:52:03 l slip the book into my briefcase, and l leave.
00:52:08 About 2:00 tomorrow, say?
00:52:16 (SPEAKING IN FRENCH)
00:52:18 It is you who l do business with, oui?
00:52:21 Right.
00:52:25 Oh, right.
00:52:31 Your smile is the sun, ma chere.
00:52:36 And fallen men, we need the sun.
00:53:51 (BELL TOLLING)
00:54:05 (FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
00:54:06 (LIGHTER FLICKING)
00:54:17 Diamond Dog, carrying a cup and a cane.
00:54:22 DIAMOND DOG: Bloom.
00:54:25 Bloom, Bloom, Bloom.
00:54:31 How long has it been?
00:54:34 Mmm?
00:54:35 Tea.
00:54:37 Can you believe it? Tea.
00:54:42 Been a long time, huh?
00:54:44 lf l call Stephen down here, he'll kill you.
00:54:46 You're terrified, huh? Don't be scared.
00:54:50 I’m an old man
00:54:54 with no depth perception.
00:54:56 You don't have to be scared of me.
00:55:02 You know, it's been a funny thing,
00:55:04 watching you boys take
00:55:10 l am so proud
00:55:12 to be a footnote
00:55:17 But you
00:55:20 hate me.
00:55:26 You probably won’t believe,
00:55:32 But love...
00:55:36 You know, folks like us,
00:55:39 you can always
00:55:44 And like Pete walking on water
00:55:48 if you look down in doubt,
00:55:52 you will fall.
00:55:56 That's the price of our lives,
00:56:03 One day, Stephen's going to fall.
00:56:06 It may be glorious,
00:56:10 and he won't be there to tell you what to do,
00:56:14 And without him, what would you do?
00:56:18 l remember all the other boys
00:56:21 They would run. They would fight.
00:56:25 You were so passive, paralyzed.
00:56:29 This is a warning, Bloom, and an offer.
00:56:35 When he's gone,
00:56:37 remember me.
00:56:44 Oh!
00:56:46 Stephen.
00:56:48 We were just talking about you.
00:56:51 (GROANING)
00:56:53 Fuck you!
00:56:55 (SHOUTING IN CZECH)
00:57:27 I’m sorry l wasn't there.
00:57:30 You can't always be there.
00:57:34 Yeah, l guess l can't.
00:57:40 (SIGHING)
00:57:51 (DOORBELL RINGING)
00:57:57 Max!
00:58:03 Aren’t we a little early?
00:58:11 Well, he's gone, that's for sure.
00:58:14 Probably halfway around the world by now.
00:58:16 Aren't you a wee bit early...
00:58:19 STEPHEN: l don't get it.
00:58:21 lf he was hightailing it,
00:58:23 until we traded the book for the million,
00:58:25 then he'd a had some walking-around money.
00:58:30 Oh, well, back to antiquing.
00:58:34 Nothing lost, nothing gained.
00:58:35 Oh.
00:58:42 "Oh?"
00:58:46 (SIGHS)
00:58:48 The check was cashed yesterday afternoon.
00:58:51 He would have deposited it
00:58:54 I’m sorry, Pen. I’m sorry.
00:58:57 Such a waste.
00:59:01 Poor man. Poor Argentina man.
00:59:06 l mean, he's never gonna
00:59:09 It’s just gonna rot away in those catacombs.
00:59:16 No.
00:59:17 BLOOM: There is no book, all right.
00:59:19 Well, maybe there is. Maybe it's real.
00:59:22 -It’s not real, it's a con.
00:59:25 You know what? It’s my money,
00:59:28 He gave us every piece
00:59:31 Well, we'd have to clear
00:59:34 Some sort of...
00:59:41 Disruption.
00:59:53 STEPHEN: She's an artist with nitroglycerin.
00:59:56 l feel like l want to know more about her.
00:59:59 Yeah.
01:00:02 BLOOM: A few years back,
01:00:07 she just appeared.
01:00:09 And we figure someday she'll just disappear.
01:00:13 Check out the tat on the back of her neck.
01:00:16 It’s an inky wisp of personal information.
01:00:19 Essentially, it means,
01:00:20 "When you're done with something,
01:00:34 The smoke detector is in
01:00:38 We're gonna plant and set off a tiny, tiny...
01:00:40 (SPEAKING IN JAPANESE)
01:00:42 Tiny charge.
01:00:46 A puff of smoke
01:00:49 Fire drill ensues, offices empty.
01:00:52 Excuse me.
01:00:53 You have exactly four and a half minutes
01:00:55 to get through the access hatch,
01:00:58 grab the book and get out
01:01:02 The abort code, in case we have to abort,
01:01:07 For some reason.
01:01:08 PENELOPE: (SOFTLY) Okay,
01:01:11 This is Yueng Ling's backpack?
01:01:13 Yeah.
01:01:17 You know what l feel?
01:01:20 Horny?
01:01:22 Scared.
01:01:24 And all my big talk, showing off all the time.
01:01:27 But, l mean, this isn't a story,
01:01:31 it's real.
01:01:34 It’s freaky scary.
01:01:39 Well, as long as you focus on,
01:01:41 you know, second left, third right.
01:02:17 (MOANS)
01:02:26 (CHUCKLES)
01:02:41 (MOANING CONTINUES)
01:03:33 Okay.
01:03:43 All right?
01:03:45 Okay.
01:03:56 You know, for the record,
01:03:59 Why send her in alone?
01:04:00 Because going in alone
01:04:04 Listen, she's walking into
01:04:10 and taking a phony manuscript
01:04:14 Worst-case scenario,
01:04:17 which isn't even gonna happen.
01:04:23 Okay, she's in position.
01:04:28 Because no one's gonna
01:04:42 (CAMERA CLICKING)
01:04:45 Fuck me.
01:04:47 (PEOPLE SCREAMING)
01:04:59 Come on, don't do it. Don't, don't, don't...
01:05:16 Abort! Corned beef, corned beef!
01:05:34 (MAN SPEAKING IN CZECH)
01:05:48 ALARM BEEPING)
01:06:30 (PEOPLE CLAMORING)
01:06:49 (MEN CLAMORING IN DISTANCE)
01:07:05 Wait, wait. We're fine. We're fine. She's fine.
01:07:08 Listen,
01:07:10 they'll assume she's a clerk.
01:07:14 So as long as she doesn't
01:07:26 (THUDDING)
01:07:39 (CLEARS THROAT)
01:07:45 (GROANING)
01:07:49 (GUNS COCKING)
01:07:56 (PANTING)
01:08:30 STEPHEN: Oh, no.
01:08:32 It’s the chief of police.
01:08:34 The chief of police!
01:08:46 Thank you.
01:08:50 (SPEAKING IN CZECH)
01:09:19 (SQUEALING)
01:09:25 (SCREAMING)
01:09:38 l have, at different points in my life,
01:09:40 quite literally sold ice to an Eskimo
01:09:44 But l have no idea
01:09:47 to have sweet-talked her way
01:09:50 l could ask her.
01:09:51 How obtuse.
01:09:55 Let her sleep. Train doesn't leave until 8:00.
01:10:02 (SIGHS)
01:10:04 That was real.
01:10:05 Yeah, l know.
01:10:09 Huh...
01:10:10 Freaky scary.
01:10:12 (MILES FROM NOWHERE PLAYING)
01:10:14 Miles from nowhere
01:10:16 Guess I’ll take my time
01:10:19 Oh, yeah
01:10:23 To reach there
01:10:27 Look up at the mountain
01:10:32 l have to climb
01:10:34 Oh, yeah
01:10:37 To reach there
01:10:41 Lord, my body
01:10:44 It’s been a good friend
01:10:48 l won't need it
01:10:51 When l reach the end
01:10:55 Miles from nowhere
01:10:58 Guess I’ll take my time
01:11:01 Oh, yeah
01:11:04 (SHOUTING IN CZECH)
01:11:06 To reach there
01:11:14 l creep through the valleys
01:11:16 And l grope through the woods
01:11:19 'Cause l know when l find it, my honey
01:11:22 It’s gonna make me feel good, yes
01:11:28 An apple.
01:11:31 Yeah, it was part of an epiphany.
01:11:35 l love everything
01:11:37 So don't it make you feel sad
01:11:40 'Cause I’ll drink to you, my baby
01:11:43 I’ll think to that Yes, I’ll think to that
01:11:49 I’ll think to that
01:11:55 Miles from nowhere
01:11:59 Guess I’ll take my time
01:12:03 (FOGHORN BLARING)
01:12:04 Oh, yeah
01:12:07 To reach there
01:12:13 Mexico.
01:12:18 Okay, we're rendezvousing
01:12:20 on a isolated beach
01:12:24 A simple handoff.
01:12:25 Penelope, you and Yueng Ling
01:12:28 Bloom and l will be doing the handing.
01:12:31 You guys seem a little tense.
01:12:33 Well, I’m not thrilled they set this in Mexico.
01:12:38 There could be legitimate reasons,
01:12:41 And l don't like to simplistically vilify
01:12:44 but Mexico's a horrible place.
01:12:48 So we'll be careful.
01:13:07 This is gonna be dangerous tomorrow, right?
01:13:10 Yeah.
01:13:12 (BANG BANG FIRING GUN)
01:13:14 You should sleep at the hotel tonight.
01:13:16 I’ll stay with Stephen at the beach house.
01:13:17 But you'll need sleep.
01:13:22 I’m really happy right now. Are you?
01:13:28 Right now l am.
01:13:30 (SINGNG) I wanna be a smoggier
01:13:36 Oh, hey, hey, hey, hey
01:13:46 (GUNSHOTS CONTINUE)
01:14:03 The last box in our last con.
01:14:07 How's it feel?
01:14:29 (KNOCKING ON DOOR)
01:14:31 Hey, what's up?
01:14:39 Bloom! What?
01:14:52 My brother and l are con men.
01:14:56 And...
01:14:59 Everything since you hit me
01:15:04 it's all fake, it's all
01:15:08 a con.
01:15:15 Stephen's gone into town
01:15:17 Money's in his place.
01:15:18 Money? l don’t want the money, let’s just go.
01:15:28 Come on, come on.
01:15:39 STEPHEN: You have to
01:15:55 So, l told her our whole play.
01:15:59 And I’m here to take her money back.
01:16:04 How does that make you feel?
01:16:08 Disappointed.
01:16:09 This isn't the ending you wanted?
01:16:11 (SCOFFS)
01:16:12 What does that matter?
01:16:17 So l might as well just get it over with.
01:16:20 -Where's the money?
01:16:21 -Give me the money, Stephen.
01:16:23 PENELOPE: l don’t want the money.
01:16:24 He's not gonna keep a single piece of you.
01:16:27 I’m sorry you fell in love with her.
01:16:30 And all of this, all of it is just a con.
01:16:34 And every moment you share with her,
01:16:35 you’re just playing the part
01:16:38 That's what you're afraid of, isn't it?
01:16:41 That you don't know the difference.
01:16:43 Or maybe that there really is no difference.
01:16:45 That that's what love is, right?
01:16:47 Okay, we're leaving.
01:16:50 STEPHEN: No.
01:16:52 You're too scared to leave.
01:16:54 You're too scared to ride off into the sunset,
01:16:57 because real sunsets might be beautiful
01:16:59 but they turn into dark, uncertain nights.
01:17:02 No, you're not ready,
01:17:09 The money is in my bedroom.
01:17:11 But in my story you don't get the money
01:17:18 Bloom,
01:17:22 let’s just go.
01:17:25 Please.
01:17:33 Please?
01:17:41 (BOTH GRUNTING)
01:18:11 Tastes like tinfoil.
01:18:27 I’m sorry.
01:18:31 (GROANING)
01:18:33 Shh. Shh. Shh.
01:18:40 BLOOM: Get out of here.
01:18:43 Take the car and go.
01:18:47 I’m not going anywhere.
01:20:26 (SINGING) The storm is passed
01:20:32 I’ve spent my whole life sleeping
01:20:38 Now there's not a sound
01:20:42 No one to be found anywhere
01:20:51 A shepherd and a sheep
01:20:57 Where else on earth would you rather go?
01:21:04 To a land of wonder when you go under
01:21:10 Why would we want
01:21:12 to come back at all?
01:21:45 PENELOPE: Hey.
01:21:49 How'd you find me?
01:21:50 Bang Bang.
01:21:51 How'd you find Bang Bang?
01:21:53 She gave me her number
01:21:57 Bang Bang has a cell phone?
01:21:58 Yeah.
01:22:00 l think she's kind of selective in
01:22:10 Why are you here, Penelope?
01:22:15 Okay.
01:22:19 Well, l...
01:22:25 I’ve had a lot of time, you know,
01:22:27 to think, these past three months
01:22:29 and l want you to seriously consider this.
01:22:52 Go away.
01:23:00 Everything Stephen said was true.
01:23:02 l was just playing you as a mark.
01:23:06 Okay? Everything between us,
01:23:11 none of it was real.
01:23:15 Okay.
01:23:29 l don't believe you.
01:23:58 BLOOM: l let you do your monologue,
01:24:03 l let her believe everything you said,
01:24:05 so she'd never want to see me again.
01:24:08 Get her away from all this for good.
01:24:31 -You wanna tell me what I’m doing here?
01:24:36 What did you figure she was good for,
01:24:39 $1 .75 million.
01:24:45 Look, of course she came back.
01:24:48 She never got what she wanted.
01:24:50 (SCOFFS)
01:24:52 Neither did you.
01:24:53 All right, look, we're gonna end this.
01:24:55 You built us into this,
01:24:57 you're gonna end it, so she's done with this.
01:24:59 End it all so she can't start up again.
01:25:04 Are you sure that's what you want?
01:25:08 l love her.
01:25:13 l don’t want to turn her into me.
01:25:42 Well, we can't do the next job
01:25:44 until we liquidate our assets
01:25:47 Uh-uh, you've got my million
01:25:49 That's profit, not capital,
01:25:52 So, step number one
01:25:56 PENELOPE: Ah.
01:25:58 The one that you told me was fake, right?
01:26:02 Actually, with all your random expertise,
01:26:04 we couldn't risk a flat-out fake.
01:26:07 But to get top dollar,
01:26:12 And there's only one place
01:26:16 Where?
01:26:26 -Who'd you get, anyway?
01:26:28 To play the Russians.
01:26:36 My boys.
01:26:40 l don't understand.
01:26:42 We're sending Penelope off into the sunset,
01:26:46 Why is he here?
01:26:47 We need someone to pass
01:26:51 The Dog has his big store right here
01:26:52 All right, stop.
01:26:55 l hate him, Stephen.
01:26:57 But this isn't that.
01:26:59 This is l don't trust him.
01:27:01 Yeah, what's he gonna do?
01:27:03 Steal our fake money?
01:27:05 l have thought this through, believe me.
01:27:07 And we can't end it without him.
01:27:13 Trust me. It’s gonna be okay.
01:27:22 DIAMOND DOG: Stephen,
01:27:25 Your symbols, red for temptation,
01:27:32 And our hero must face the Minotaur
01:27:36 Uh-huh.
01:27:37 Pickup will be at your store.
01:27:39 Scare her,
01:27:42 but don't hassle the girl.
01:27:45 The girl? What's her name?
01:27:47 You don't need to know her name.
01:27:51 l know it. Penelope.
01:27:55 l look forward to meeting the lady.
01:27:58 All right, here we go.
01:28:00 We got the back windshield wired to explode,
01:28:02 and there's a large charge
01:28:05 After the handoff with the Dog,
01:28:09 Late that night, we stop at a gas station
01:28:11 where our fake Russians double-cross us,
01:28:13 and kill us all in a moonlight ambush.
01:28:16 We all die. Bloom takes a bullet
01:28:21 The end.
01:28:24 Okay.
01:28:30 You've been awfully quiet.
01:28:38 I’m doing this for her, you know.
01:28:53 Tomorrow is the big day.
01:29:31 (GUNSHOTS)
01:29:32 Get down!
01:30:40 (GROANING)
01:30:48 -Out!
01:30:50 Get out, get out.
01:31:03 Bloom! Bloom.
01:31:06 (COUGHS)
01:31:10 What happened?
01:31:11 You okay?
01:31:14 What happened? Where's Stephen?
01:31:17 Stephen?
01:31:19 l think...
01:31:20 Bloom, l think they might have got him,
01:31:23 because l think they double-crossed us
01:31:26 because, you know,
01:31:30 -Stephen's notebook.
01:31:31 so then we can get him back.
01:31:35 Who's got him?
01:31:37 Why, l think the Russians got him, Bloom.
01:31:49 Stephen, God, please, what's happening?
01:31:53 l don't know what to do, Stephen.
01:32:02 Shit!
01:32:11 If you know what’s happening,
01:32:25 Oh, please. Please, not now.
01:32:29 l don't know what to do.
01:32:58 Thanks.
01:33:18 l can't believe it.
01:33:19 What, that Bang Bang fell for a car bomb?
01:33:23 Neither can l.
01:33:25 Oh, you mean...
01:33:28 You think maybe she faked it
01:33:30 to make the Russians think she was dead?
01:33:34 Bloom, what do we do now?
01:33:44 PENELOPE: It’s a ransom note.
01:33:46 It says they have Stephen.
01:33:47 It says they want the money
01:33:51 They give a bank to do it at,
01:33:55 Then an address to go to
01:33:57 Okay.
01:33:59 Well, I’ll wire the money from my account,
01:34:03 It’s a lot.
01:34:05 I’ll do it. l want to. I’ve got...
01:34:07 Well, how much are they asking for?
01:34:08 $1 .75 million.
01:34:11 Oh.
01:34:17 Oh...
01:34:24 (CHUCKLING)
01:34:27 No! I’m gonna kill him.
01:34:30 If that's all that this is, l will kill him.
01:34:33 Kill who? What are you talking about?
01:34:35 l will kill him. l will... No!
01:34:37 What?
01:34:42 I’ve been an idiot. This could all be a con
01:34:47 Oh, God, he wanted me to end it,
01:34:51 Oh, God, I’m gonna be sick.
01:34:53 But would he do that? To you?
01:34:58 l don't know.
01:35:01 Yes. Yeah, of course he would.
01:35:04 To tell a story so well it becomes real.
01:35:07 The perfect con. That's his whole...
01:35:11 God damn it, that's what.
01:35:13 You know what? We don't know.
01:35:16 -We better transfer the money.
01:35:18 It’s your brother's life.
01:35:22 I’m gonna wire the money.
01:35:31 Okay.
01:35:40 PENELOPE: I’m coming in with you.
01:35:43 BLOOM: No, stay here.
01:35:46 Going in alone is a very
01:35:54 I’m so scared.
01:35:59 Anything l can imagine
01:36:05 I’m gonna be here when you come out.
01:36:32 (DOOR CREAKING)
01:36:44 Stephen?
01:36:58 Game's up. Come on out.
01:37:04 Come on, let's blow this one-hat town.
01:37:11 (MAN SPEAKING RUSSIAN)
01:37:42 -Stephen!
01:37:45 (MAN SPEAKING RUSSIAN)
01:37:49 Did Penelope wire the money?
01:37:51 Yeah.
01:37:57 Stephen, tell me what this is.
01:37:59 Jesus Christ, Bloom, I’m sorry.
01:38:02 l don't need sorry. l need the truth.
01:38:07 God damn it, Stephen.
01:38:10 -Get the hell out of here now!
01:38:11 Is this a con or is it real?
01:38:16 A con?
01:38:19 It’s real, Bloom.
01:38:25 DIAMOND DOG: Hello, Bloom.
01:38:27 God damn it, Bloom.
01:38:29 Are you happy to hear
01:38:32 These are the Dog's men.
01:38:36 Damn it, Bloom, run!
01:38:37 l told you Stephen would fall.
01:38:41 And you? You are paralyzed,
01:38:45 praying this is just
01:38:50 Is it?
01:38:52 Close your eyes now, sweet child.
01:38:56 And l will tell you the truth.
01:39:00 (COCKS GUN)
01:39:03 No!
01:39:16 STEPHEN: Bloom!
01:39:19 (GUN CLICKS)
01:39:24 He's got another gun!
01:39:30 (STEPHEN GROANS)
01:39:46 (STEPHEN GROANING)
01:39:52 Please tell me that's makeup.
01:39:55 Please tell me that's a cackle-bladder,
01:39:57 and you just pulled off the perfect con.
01:39:58 Please.
01:40:26 You said it, not me.
01:40:32 Can l get a "wow" for this?
01:40:37 Wow.
01:40:40 You son of a bitch.
01:40:43 (SOBBING)
01:40:53 You did it. You're done here.
01:40:56 l want you to promise me you'll never
01:41:08 Tastes like tinfoil.
01:41:11 All right, here's what l want you to do.
01:41:15 Yeah. Clean exit.
01:41:17 How?
01:41:18 Car bomb.
01:41:19 Good.
01:41:20 -Penelope?
01:41:23 All right, here's what.
01:41:25 Take Penelope to Helsinki,
01:41:28 Play out the whole
01:41:31 that'll be fun for her.
01:41:34 That'll add some gravity to everything.
01:41:36 And I’ll see you when l see you.
01:41:39 -When?
01:41:42 Last thing you need is me hanging around.
01:41:44 Anyway, how am l going to top this?
01:41:48 Bloom,
01:41:50 pick a card.
01:41:54 -All right.
01:41:56 Yeah.
01:42:02 (BLOOM CHUCKLES)
01:42:05 That's the best card trick I’ve ever seen.
01:42:10 Wish you had a bigger audience.
01:42:13 You're the only audience l ever needed.
01:42:27 l love you.
01:42:32 Bye.
01:42:41 Shh. Shh. Shh.
01:42:42 It’s okay. It’s okay.
01:43:31 (GASPING)
01:45:05 You know, he said this thing to me once.
01:45:10 He said to me,
01:45:13 "There's no such thing as an unwritten life.
01:45:19 "Just a badly written one."
01:45:27 (EXHALING) Oh, God.
01:45:32 l love you, Bloom.
01:45:39 You know what we're gonna do?
01:45:46 We're gonna live
01:45:50 like we're telling the best story
01:45:59 Are you ready?
01:46:11 BLOOM: And Stephen said
01:46:14 "The perfect con is one
01:46:17 "gets just the thing they wanted."
01:46:27 Well...
01:50:13 (THE FABULIST PLAYING)
01:50:23 You came to me
01:50:25 In the hospital ward when l blew out my knee
01:50:32 But l wasn't there to be cared for or carried
01:50:40 'Cause l was asleep
01:50:43 In my bed, in my house
01:50:49 While you drove across town
01:50:57 It was fake
01:51:01 For the sake
01:51:06 Of making you take me for real
01:51:10 But l guess you're even less impressed
01:51:25 If the world is a stage
01:51:28 And we're all of us actors
01:51:34 l am the man at the masquerade
01:51:41 Who was fake
01:51:46 For the sake
01:51:51 Of making you take me for real
01:51:55 But l guess you're even less impressed
01:52:02 l keep trying to paint a picture
01:52:10 'Cause what l drew
01:52:15 Could be improved
01:52:18 lf l could make you see
01:52:22 More flame than flicker
01:52:27 These half-truths
01:52:33 Could be improved
01:52:37 With less of me
01:52:45 And more you
01:52:53 Believe what l speak
01:53:05 At least just keep