Brothers Solomon The
|
00:00:30 |
Okay. HoW do We start? |
00:00:34 |
- A picture Would be good. |
00:00:37 |
But We should use one |
00:00:40 |
Nice. |
00:00:42 |
"TWo male brothers... ." |
00:00:44 |
Male? That's implied through |
00:00:47 |
I knoW, I just think that We should be |
00:00:51 |
About ourselves. |
00:01:08 |
Describe ourselves. |
00:01:14 |
- What's the Word? |
00:01:16 |
That's it. |
00:01:20 |
Okay, What's the most |
00:01:22 |
Oh, I got this one. |
00:01:26 |
- AWesome. |
00:03:40 |
64.89. |
00:03:41 |
- Can I Write a check? |
00:03:44 |
"Taken care of"? By Who? |
00:04:01 |
I Watched you at Work in here. |
00:04:05 |
John. |
00:04:06 |
Thank you very much, |
00:04:09 |
Can't accept What? |
00:04:12 |
These are yours. I don't oWn them. |
00:04:15 |
All I oWn is the opportunity... |
00:04:17 |
...to come in contact With such |
00:04:23 |
- Should We go to your car? |
00:04:28 |
I don't mean to be rude, |
00:04:30 |
If you don't leave me alone... |
00:04:32 |
...l'll call security |
00:04:34 |
You're fighting an uphill battle. |
00:04:36 |
I'm a taxpayer, therefore I can |
00:04:39 |
Taxpayers can stand |
00:04:40 |
- Security! |
00:04:45 |
You can't block the door. |
00:05:03 |
Okay, you can do this. |
00:05:10 |
Gotta impress her parents, |
00:05:14 |
Hi, Dean. |
00:05:17 |
I'm so relieved, |
00:05:20 |
Thank you. It's nice to meet you. |
00:05:24 |
That's so sWeet. |
00:05:41 |
It's nice to meet you, sir. |
00:05:47 |
Well, I folloWed your advice |
00:05:50 |
...and everything seemed |
00:05:53 |
But then When I Went in |
00:05:55 |
...he got very standoffish, very cold. |
00:05:58 |
I'm sorry. |
00:06:00 |
Do you think I did |
00:06:02 |
By expressing the greatest respect |
00:06:06 |
- That can never be Wrong. |
00:06:10 |
So did you go to the store? |
00:06:12 |
Yup. Spent like 200 bucks. |
00:06:15 |
Get any numbers? |
00:06:16 |
No. But I did manage |
00:06:21 |
What? |
00:06:22 |
Yeah. Apparently, in the store's eyes, |
00:06:27 |
Did they knoW you're current |
00:06:29 |
- They kneW. |
00:06:35 |
Well, I guess I don't understand |
00:06:38 |
I knoW. |
00:06:40 |
It really is a mystery to me. |
00:06:45 |
But you knoW What? |
00:06:50 |
I did the best job I could |
00:06:57 |
I love learning from you. |
00:06:59 |
And I love teaching you. |
00:07:11 |
First message, sent today at 1743. |
00:07:15 |
I sWitched it to military time. |
00:07:17 |
That's great. |
00:07:18 |
This is Dr. Mettler from |
00:07:21 |
... calling again about |
00:07:23 |
I'm on it. |
00:07:32 |
About 10 degrees. |
00:07:36 |
Second message, |
00:07:40 |
Hey, this is Jim |
00:07:42 |
I'm just calling to remind you... |
00:07:44 |
... that you still owe us $23 |
00:07:49 |
Great, noW the video store |
00:07:52 |
Third message, sent today at 2043. |
00:07:55 |
"2043." I love it. |
00:07:57 |
Yeah, it's like space time. |
00:07:59 |
Dean, John, this is your father. |
00:08:02 |
I'm down at |
00:08:04 |
I was feeling sick |
00:08:07 |
... and I'm afraid I have |
00:08:09 |
Devastating news, actually. |
00:08:12 |
I just want you boys to know |
00:08:15 |
... and how proud I am of you both. |
00:08:17 |
Please come as soon |
00:08:22 |
Oh, my God. |
00:08:56 |
We just found out our father's dealing |
00:09:00 |
...so We need to dispute this |
00:09:03 |
- Go ahead. |
00:09:06 |
Have a movie time. |
00:09:08 |
We got a call about late charges for |
00:09:13 |
What's your last name? |
00:09:14 |
We don't have time for this! Our fa-- |
00:09:18 |
- Says you're paid. Don't Worry about it. |
00:09:21 |
In fact... |
00:09:25 |
...it says you have credit for a movie. |
00:09:37 |
You can't park that here. |
00:09:46 |
Dad. |
00:09:47 |
Oh, Dad. |
00:09:52 |
He seemed to be doing fine... |
00:09:54 |
...and then, like 10 minutes ago, |
00:10:00 |
Well, not even 10 minutes. |
00:10:03 |
Or even six. |
00:10:05 |
We got here as soon as We could. |
00:10:13 |
- It's not good. |
00:10:16 |
No, his coma's fine. |
00:10:19 |
That's not surprising. |
00:10:23 |
He's amazing. |
00:10:25 |
He can take even the most negative |
00:10:29 |
He's definitely looking at this situation |
00:10:35 |
Yes, he seemed very upbeat |
00:10:40 |
He told me hoW very proud he Was |
00:10:45 |
...of his Work for the government... |
00:10:48 |
...of the story of meeting your mother, |
00:10:53 |
He told you all that? |
00:10:54 |
He spoke very fast. Remarkable man, |
00:10:58 |
"FeW regrets"? |
00:11:00 |
Try no regrets. |
00:11:02 |
No, he said something about |
00:11:07 |
...to see his first grandchild, or... . |
00:11:10 |
I forget hoW he said it. |
00:11:12 |
You knoW, if you'd been here, like, |
00:11:15 |
We're very aWare of the time line. |
00:11:22 |
Hi, Dad. |
00:11:25 |
Looking good. |
00:11:27 |
Looking real good. |
00:11:30 |
It's too bad there aren't, like, |
00:11:33 |
Right, John? |
00:11:35 |
- John? |
00:11:39 |
I Was thinking about |
00:11:43 |
John, Dad Would've Wanted us |
00:11:46 |
No, not about the late charge. |
00:11:52 |
Look, it's not an exact science... |
00:11:56 |
...but sometimes people hang on... |
00:11:58 |
...if they have a milestone |
00:12:01 |
Milestone? |
00:12:02 |
Yes. Like an anniversary, |
00:12:07 |
Or a baby being made for you? |
00:12:12 |
Well, maybe. |
00:12:19 |
Wait. HoW are We supposed to |
00:12:21 |
I mean, We don't have the best of luck |
00:12:25 |
Dean, I knoW that. |
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But before, We Were trying |
00:12:32 |
This time, |
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Hands in. |
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"Make a baby for Dad" on three. |
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One, tWo, three. |
00:12:55 |
Make a baby for Dad! |
00:13:39 |
You have got a nice face. |
00:13:44 |
Thank you. |
00:13:46 |
- Sure makes up for that body. |
00:13:50 |
No. No, no, no. |
00:13:55 |
...it makes up for your body. |
00:13:59 |
Thank you. |
00:14:00 |
Hey, you've got something right... . |
00:14:17 |
Chicken. |
00:14:22 |
I gotta be honest, Erica. |
00:14:26 |
I mean, you're beautiful, |
00:14:30 |
...great personality, nice hair, fat, |
00:14:37 |
Have you ever heard of the phrase |
00:14:41 |
Yeah, Why? |
00:14:42 |
Because you got it, lady. |
00:14:48 |
Yep, you've got it. |
00:14:50 |
There it is. There it is. |
00:14:58 |
Are you ovulating right noW? |
00:15:01 |
This is our first date |
00:15:06 |
I'm about to make it my business. |
00:15:15 |
Michelle. |
00:15:17 |
Make me the happiest man |
00:15:21 |
...and marry me. |
00:15:27 |
Are you joking? |
00:15:28 |
I knoW. Isn't it great? |
00:15:32 |
No. |
00:15:40 |
What do you say We get out of here, |
00:15:44 |
Well, I don't-- |
00:15:46 |
No strings attached. |
00:15:50 |
You have no idea hoW long I've been |
00:15:53 |
I mean, this is like |
00:15:55 |
For me too. |
00:15:56 |
A no-strings-attached situation |
00:16:00 |
...have it and then give it |
00:16:03 |
- It's great. |
00:16:05 |
You knoW What? I'm gonna deliver |
00:16:08 |
One hundred percent-- |
00:16:14 |
So she got hit by a bus, huh? |
00:16:17 |
Poor girl. |
00:16:18 |
Yeah, the bus took |
00:16:21 |
I mean, she Was a large girl. |
00:16:25 |
Oh, my God. Sounds horrible. |
00:16:29 |
Yeah. |
00:16:31 |
So hoW Was your date? |
00:16:33 |
Well... |
00:16:35 |
...Wasn't exactly an A-plus. |
00:16:38 |
More like an A. |
00:16:41 |
But don't Worry. |
00:16:44 |
I'm not giving up just yet. |
00:16:46 |
Still a lot more fight |
00:16:52 |
God, this thing is gonna be |
00:16:55 |
Come on, Dean. |
00:16:58 |
I mean, yeah, We're gonna have to |
00:17:01 |
But think about all the sacrifices |
00:17:05 |
Remember that Christmas |
00:17:07 |
Dad told us we could have |
00:17:11 |
Where does Santa live? |
00:17:13 |
He lives at the North Pole. |
00:17:15 |
I Wanna live at the North Pole. |
00:17:17 |
Me too. |
00:17:20 |
And what did Dad do? |
00:17:22 |
He took us to the North Pole |
00:17:26 |
And when we were teenagers |
00:17:29 |
Dad went out searching for the most |
00:17:34 |
He almost died. |
00:17:35 |
But the women he found! |
00:17:38 |
Beautiful. |
00:17:40 |
Oh, Qiqirn. |
00:17:43 |
The times we had. |
00:17:45 |
John, I am completely |
00:17:47 |
I can't believe I ever thought |
00:17:50 |
Dean, don't be so hard on yourself. |
00:17:52 |
- You just said "hard on." |
00:17:53 |
Dr. Wong called and said |
00:17:56 |
...for long-term-care facilities |
00:17:58 |
I guess the hospital kicks him out |
00:18:01 |
Really? Well, I Wouldn't |
00:18:04 |
Because While you Were telling me |
00:18:07 |
Really? Where? |
00:18:09 |
I'll tell you tomorroW. |
00:18:16 |
- Hi. Delivery for John Solomon. |
00:18:25 |
- Sign here. |
00:18:29 |
Thank you. |
00:18:31 |
Bring it on in. |
00:18:32 |
All right, this thing here |
00:18:36 |
That's for the... . The kidneys. |
00:18:39 |
These are defibrillator paddles. |
00:18:40 |
If the EKG shoWs a flatline, rub them |
00:18:44 |
Heart should get going again. |
00:18:46 |
There's more to knoW about that. |
00:18:49 |
That's coagulants |
00:18:51 |
This is a blue thing. |
00:18:53 |
The ventilator, oxy tank |
00:18:58 |
Have your nurse hook those up. |
00:19:01 |
Yeah. Okay. |
00:19:06 |
Hold the elevator, please! |
00:19:19 |
Visiting someone on seven? |
00:19:22 |
No. |
00:19:26 |
Check it out? |
00:19:28 |
Stroll it. |
00:19:31 |
No, I live there. |
00:19:34 |
You do not. You absolutely do not. |
00:19:39 |
- 704. |
00:19:41 |
I am 703. |
00:19:45 |
You ever like to go out for drinks? |
00:19:49 |
- No. |
00:19:55 |
Dad's here! |
00:19:57 |
Yeah, thanks for telling me. |
00:20:00 |
I Wanted you to be surprised. |
00:20:02 |
Well, I Was surprised. |
00:20:04 |
By hoW you once again made |
00:20:08 |
This is great. |
00:20:10 |
I thought he'd be better off here |
00:20:13 |
So much better off. |
00:20:14 |
And because of a factory recall, |
00:20:17 |
Yeah, there might be some flaWs in |
00:20:22 |
...but flaWs equal savings. |
00:20:24 |
EveryWhere you look, a positive. |
00:20:25 |
Plus, I got a ton of medical books |
00:20:30 |
- You mean Dr. Wong. |
00:20:32 |
This dentist I met at Barnes & Noble. |
00:20:36 |
Oh, God. I have some really exciting |
00:20:39 |
What? What? |
00:20:41 |
Okay, okay. I just met the most-- |
00:20:44 |
Is there any Way to turn |
00:20:47 |
I tried earlier but there doesn't seem |
00:20:50 |
At least that I can find. |
00:20:52 |
All right, it's just very distracting. |
00:20:54 |
Yeah. |
00:20:57 |
I just met the most gorgeous Woman |
00:21:01 |
- 704. |
00:21:05 |
You gotta see her. |
00:21:08 |
Tall, super-skinny, |
00:21:12 |
Crap. You get the circuit breaker, |
00:21:15 |
Okay. Here I go. |
00:21:19 |
Clear! |
00:21:21 |
- Did you get him? |
00:21:24 |
Nice job. |
00:21:26 |
I guess We Were using |
00:21:28 |
Maybe We should turn off |
00:21:33 |
All right. Yeah. That'll be good. |
00:21:35 |
Do you think it's safe |
00:21:38 |
I think it's safe. |
00:21:41 |
See, With all these lights off, |
00:21:45 |
Shit balls! |
00:21:53 |
I'll be right there. |
00:21:54 |
Okey-dokey. |
00:22:07 |
Hi. |
00:22:10 |
Ken, hi. |
00:22:12 |
Hi. Can I help you? |
00:22:14 |
John. |
00:22:15 |
Of the elevator and 703 fame. |
00:22:19 |
Just Wanted to invite you to a lit-- |
00:22:22 |
Sorry, if you can just-- |
00:22:24 |
Invite you to a little |
00:22:33 |
We already have dinner plans. |
00:22:36 |
Well, you knoW What? I do this |
00:22:41 |
We should go. |
00:22:58 |
I'm starving. |
00:23:12 |
You guys look really nice. |
00:23:17 |
Who Wants bubbly? |
00:23:24 |
- Enjoy your dinner, sport. |
00:23:28 |
You guys Want some? |
00:23:34 |
Excuse me. |
00:23:37 |
Champagne does it to me. |
00:23:41 |
I think We maybe need to |
00:23:44 |
...less conventional methods |
00:23:48 |
Like anal? |
00:23:51 |
Well, I Was thinking more along |
00:23:55 |
But isn't adoption kind of cheating? |
00:23:58 |
Look, We just gotta step it up, and that |
00:24:02 |
Yeah. |
00:24:10 |
You do realize that adoption is |
00:24:14 |
We're ready. |
00:24:16 |
So are you married |
00:24:22 |
We're not gay. We're brothers. |
00:24:26 |
So Which of you Will have custody? |
00:24:28 |
We're gonna tag-team. |
00:24:31 |
I'm afraid that's not an option. |
00:24:33 |
Unless you're married, one of you |
00:24:40 |
Well, in that case, |
00:24:43 |
Burn. |
00:24:47 |
Can We have a moment, please? |
00:24:54 |
- Thanks a lot. |
00:24:56 |
No, I Was being facetious. |
00:25:00 |
You Would be better at this |
00:25:02 |
What? I'm gonna be |
00:25:04 |
- You're not. |
00:25:06 |
Well, I mean, What if We get this kid |
00:25:09 |
We return it. |
00:25:11 |
- You can do that? |
00:25:13 |
- Why don't you just do it? |
00:25:23 |
TWo questions for you. |
00:25:25 |
One: What is your return policy? |
00:25:29 |
TWo: Will bad credit |
00:25:33 |
There's no return policy. |
00:25:36 |
And, yes, your financial situation is |
00:25:41 |
Do you have any pictures of the kids? |
00:25:44 |
Dean, hoW about that little guy? |
00:25:46 |
No frigging Way. |
00:25:47 |
He's got, like, |
00:25:50 |
That's my son. |
00:25:54 |
I'm sorry. |
00:25:58 |
Bell's palsy is the clinical term, |
00:26:00 |
He's cloWning for the camera. |
00:26:03 |
God's special little cloWn. |
00:26:06 |
Get out. |
00:26:15 |
- You look like the real deal. |
00:26:18 |
Wasn't a compliment. |
00:26:21 |
I don't knoW. I saW it on Craigslist |
00:26:24 |
- What's Craigslist? |
00:26:26 |
It's this Website that's |
00:26:28 |
Jobs, pets, cars, ice-dancing suits. |
00:26:33 |
- Anything? |
00:26:35 |
- Anything? |
00:26:39 |
"TWo brothers looking |
00:26:45 |
Thank you." |
00:26:50 |
Okay. It's a little bare bones, |
00:26:55 |
"Thank you." |
00:26:57 |
Send. |
00:26:59 |
All right, so What do We do noW? |
00:27:01 |
NoW We just sit here and Wait. |
00:27:03 |
I almost forgot. This suit does |
00:27:08 |
Check this out. |
00:27:11 |
All ri-- |
00:27:20 |
Nice doggy. |
00:27:23 |
Hold the elevator! |
00:27:38 |
We have gotta stop |
00:27:41 |
People are gonna start to talk. |
00:27:46 |
Got a neW generator. |
00:27:48 |
Looks like it's already generating |
00:27:51 |
I gotta go get my mail. |
00:27:53 |
Cool, I'll hold the elevates for you. |
00:27:56 |
Please don't. |
00:28:02 |
John? John, is that you? |
00:28:05 |
Get in here! |
00:28:08 |
- We got a response? |
00:28:09 |
Her name is Janine |
00:28:12 |
I mean, there's one little catch. |
00:28:14 |
I kneW it. What is it? |
00:28:16 |
She wants $ 10,000. |
00:28:18 |
Ten thousand dollars? |
00:28:20 |
There is a huge demand for babies |
00:28:24 |
Okay, Well, |
00:28:27 |
But I might try a little negotiation. |
00:28:34 |
Janine. Hi, it's John and Dean |
00:28:37 |
Let me just start by saying hoW happy |
00:28:41 |
Well, We Were thinking |
00:28:45 |
Won't budge off the 10 thou? |
00:28:48 |
Okay, Well, then I am gonna |
00:28:51 |
Forty dollars. Fifty. |
00:28:54 |
Deal! |
00:28:55 |
Okay. |
00:28:57 |
TWelve thousand dollars it is. |
00:28:59 |
Great, bye-bye. |
00:29:01 |
TWelve thousand dollars? |
00:29:03 |
Yeah, she really brought |
00:29:07 |
But you knoW What? Who cares? |
00:29:11 |
- We're having a baby! |
00:29:18 |
You got your |
00:29:21 |
And heart machine. |
00:29:22 |
This is... |
00:29:24 |
...a blue medical machine. |
00:29:27 |
This is, you knoW... . |
00:29:29 |
That's a dialysis machine |
00:29:33 |
And if you Wanna Watch TV |
00:29:37 |
...just throW on the generator, |
00:29:40 |
Dean, We're gonna be super late. |
00:30:03 |
Wait. You go comedy and drama, |
00:30:23 |
Let me start by saying-- |
00:30:24 |
- You got the money? |
00:30:37 |
So I guess I'll go first. |
00:30:39 |
Wait, I Would like to go first. |
00:30:41 |
Relax. We're gonna get |
00:30:43 |
What do you mean by |
00:30:46 |
Well, egg fertilization is |
00:30:48 |
So our plan is to literally blanket |
00:30:52 |
We'll each make love to you |
00:30:56 |
Not at the same time. |
00:30:58 |
- Yes. Yes. John, then me. |
00:31:00 |
- Then Dean, then me. |
00:31:02 |
- Then Dean, then me. |
00:31:04 |
Then me, then Dean, then me. |
00:31:08 |
Guys! |
00:31:10 |
The only thing you're gonna feel |
00:31:18 |
Well, that certainly doesn't make |
00:31:21 |
I'm not talking about my vagina. |
00:31:23 |
I'm talking about |
00:31:26 |
I see. |
00:31:28 |
A scientist gets to do all the fun stuff |
00:31:32 |
Well, that sounds fair. |
00:31:36 |
Janine, We are spending |
00:31:38 |
Shouldn't We get |
00:31:40 |
Yeah, you get a baby out of it. |
00:31:45 |
That is a good point. |
00:31:47 |
Okay. |
00:31:49 |
Okay. So I made an appointment at |
00:31:56 |
- Good times. |
00:32:00 |
Janine, What the hell is going on |
00:32:04 |
- Who's that? |
00:32:07 |
James, I thought We agreed |
00:32:10 |
And you already seeing other people? |
00:32:16 |
Hi, James, it's me, John. |
00:32:18 |
And I'm his brother, Dean. |
00:32:21 |
Nice to meet you too. |
00:32:23 |
The fuck you doing in there?! |
00:32:25 |
No, James, it's okay. |
00:32:27 |
We're just Working out a plan |
00:32:31 |
Yeah, We're all very excited |
00:32:33 |
Oh, yeah. I'm getting excited |
00:32:37 |
Hey, I got an idea. Why don't the |
00:32:40 |
That Way you can get to knoW me |
00:32:44 |
James, you better cool it or I'm gonna |
00:32:49 |
Baby, What you talking about? |
00:32:53 |
Okay, fine. |
00:32:55 |
Wait, can We vote on this? |
00:32:57 |
- I vote no. |
00:32:59 |
Looks like the "no's" have it. |
00:33:02 |
James. |
00:33:04 |
- Have you been crying? |
00:33:07 |
You poor thing. |
00:33:10 |
Okay. |
00:33:24 |
So Which one of you tWo assholes |
00:33:30 |
- I am. |
00:33:39 |
HoW did you tWo meet? |
00:33:42 |
Chat room, motherfucker. |
00:33:47 |
So... |
00:33:50 |
...you're a janitor? |
00:33:52 |
That's right. I'm a black man |
00:33:58 |
Motherfucking racist-ass |
00:34:02 |
It's just, you're... |
00:34:04 |
...Wearing a... |
00:34:06 |
...janitor's outfit. |
00:34:10 |
So a black man can't just go |
00:34:12 |
...and buy a janitor's outfit because |
00:34:17 |
No, he can. |
00:34:20 |
Especially a black man. |
00:34:25 |
What do you do? |
00:34:31 |
I'm a janitor. |
00:34:37 |
Baby, Why you even doing this? |
00:34:41 |
They need a baby, I need the money. |
00:34:44 |
Okay, so We're gonna go. |
00:34:48 |
We got a big day ahead of us |
00:34:51 |
We're gonna need all our energy |
00:34:54 |
Don't you fucking say |
00:34:58 |
- Fluid... |
00:35:02 |
...depository. |
00:35:08 |
James, I think you should leave too. |
00:35:10 |
- Can We give you a ride someWhere? |
00:35:13 |
So because I'm a black man... |
00:35:14 |
...automatically I ain't got |
00:35:24 |
The more I think about |
00:35:28 |
...bank, the more excited I get. |
00:35:31 |
Dean, I need you to promise me that |
00:35:36 |
We're gonna need every drop of... |
00:35:39 |
...We can muster for tomorroW's trip |
00:35:42 |
Yeah, Well, it's essential that |
00:35:47 |
...With all the pearly White s... erm |
00:35:52 |
If you tWo don't shut the fuck up, |
00:35:57 |
...out your fucking... . |
00:36:01 |
My place over there. |
00:36:03 |
That's your house? It's beautiful. |
00:36:06 |
Surprised? I guess I should be |
00:36:11 |
I think Dean's surprised you live in |
00:36:15 |
Bingo. |
00:36:17 |
But you Wouldn't be as surprised |
00:36:20 |
Not as surprised. |
00:36:32 |
He really scares me. |
00:36:38 |
When you're done, leave the cups |
00:36:43 |
We're not expected to fill |
00:36:46 |
Just do Whatever you can. |
00:36:48 |
Okay, good. |
00:36:51 |
I thought We promised We Were |
00:36:54 |
Well, I'm sorry, but there Was a |
00:36:58 |
...and I, you knoW, Was Weak. |
00:36:59 |
Well, I hope, for your sake, |
00:37:02 |
Well, I am. I sWear. |
00:37:04 |
I am like the semen equivalent |
00:37:08 |
- I can have so many orga-- |
00:37:12 |
So these are your rooms and |
00:37:17 |
I'll leave you tWo alone |
00:37:27 |
Okay, so I guess We got sort of |
00:37:31 |
...and that has more of a focus |
00:37:34 |
But there's vaginal stuff |
00:37:37 |
Yeah, there's plenty of crossover, |
00:37:39 |
Don't Worry, none of these are gonna |
00:37:42 |
- So Wait, Where Were We? |
00:37:45 |
Right, breasts, vagina, senior vaginal, |
00:37:51 |
HoW'd that get there? |
00:37:53 |
What are you doing here, |
00:37:56 |
All right, you go ahead |
00:37:58 |
Let's see. |
00:38:03 |
Dean going for |
00:38:06 |
Gotcha. J.K. I knoW that you |
00:38:09 |
Indigenous Weekly back in play. |
00:38:11 |
I don't Want it. |
00:38:13 |
Let's see... . This. |
00:38:15 |
Okay. All right, Well, |
00:38:20 |
Not. |
00:38:21 |
I'm gonna take the Jizz Junkies. |
00:38:26 |
Okay. So bombs aWay. |
00:38:55 |
Motherfuck! |
00:39:02 |
Well, We finished the procedure. |
00:39:03 |
Janine Will be out in a minute. |
00:39:07 |
So Whose sperm Was used? |
00:39:09 |
Well, We Went in With |
00:39:12 |
Oh, really? |
00:39:13 |
But unfortunately there Was |
00:39:17 |
- I'm sterile? |
00:39:19 |
Burn. |
00:39:20 |
So We Went With Dean's sperm. |
00:39:25 |
Well, We'll see Who's laughing... |
00:39:26 |
...When they spend zero dollars |
00:39:36 |
Well, I have your results here... |
00:39:38 |
...and I Want you to knoW that |
00:39:42 |
...has been double-checked |
00:39:49 |
I guess you just never knoW hoW |
00:39:52 |
I just got so excited. |
00:39:56 |
I knoW. |
00:39:59 |
Wait, Why the hell's it so quiet? |
00:40:07 |
Clear! |
00:40:10 |
Wait a-- I think this thing's still on. |
00:40:12 |
These are on too. |
00:40:14 |
I think they're all still on. |
00:40:16 |
- Dad's okay? |
00:40:18 |
What the hell? |
00:40:23 |
Hey. I Was just using |
00:40:28 |
Your friend had to go back |
00:40:31 |
...so he asked me |
00:40:34 |
I hope you don't mind, I turned doWn |
00:40:37 |
They have volume sWitches? |
00:40:39 |
Yeah. Inside the back plates. |
00:40:42 |
Crap, is the generator on? |
00:40:44 |
Relax. I rerouted the electricity. |
00:40:49 |
I hope you don't mind, but I helped |
00:40:53 |
Tara, you need to knoW something. |
00:40:59 |
Our chili... |
00:41:04 |
...is your chili. |
00:41:07 |
- Thank you. |
00:41:09 |
...thank you for Watching our dad. |
00:41:12 |
No problem. |
00:41:18 |
About that... . |
00:41:20 |
Do you guys knoW anything |
00:41:24 |
...or EKGs or any of |
00:41:27 |
- Very much. Much. Very, very much. |
00:41:31 |
Well, I'm training to be a nurse. |
00:41:34 |
What an arousingly selfless pursuit. |
00:41:36 |
AnyWay, if you guys need any help, |
00:41:40 |
...I need to Watch an intensive-care |
00:41:43 |
So if you Were across the hall from me, |
00:41:47 |
- Deal. |
00:41:49 |
And, as payment, I Will take you |
00:41:54 |
No, that's okay. |
00:41:56 |
I should go. |
00:41:59 |
Do you mind if I take this chili |
00:42:03 |
- Just keep the boWI. |
00:42:05 |
No. No. |
00:42:08 |
That is our chili boWI... |
00:42:11 |
...and you Will bring it back. |
00:42:14 |
Understand? |
00:42:16 |
Yeah. |
00:42:26 |
Oh, my God! |
00:42:29 |
So, What Was With the boWI thing? |
00:42:31 |
Why take aWay a reason for her |
00:42:34 |
If she falls in love With this place... |
00:42:36 |
...it's only a matter of time |
00:42:40 |
...With this place. |
00:42:42 |
And then... |
00:42:45 |
...this place. |
00:42:47 |
John... . |
00:42:49 |
Of course she should return |
00:42:53 |
What do you think? |
00:42:56 |
Yeah. |
00:43:01 |
Dad? You've alWays given us |
00:43:06 |
And noW it's payback time. |
00:43:08 |
Dad, you're gonna be |
00:43:15 |
But, Dad... |
00:43:18 |
...We need a little something |
00:43:24 |
We need you to stay alive |
00:43:28 |
We knoW you can do it... |
00:43:30 |
...because you can do anything |
00:44:07 |
Well... . |
00:44:09 |
Look Who's in the hot tub. |
00:44:21 |
That's good neWs for both of us. |
00:44:25 |
I Was actually just getting out. |
00:45:08 |
Talk about a Wet dream. |
00:45:14 |
You knoW, you don't have to tell me |
00:45:19 |
This Was a different kind of Wet. |
00:45:22 |
But every bit as satisfying. |
00:45:33 |
Birthday, birthday, birthday |
00:45:35 |
Someone's having a birthday |
00:45:37 |
A day of joy and mirth day |
00:45:39 |
Because it's Jennifer's birthday |
00:45:45 |
Happy birthday, Jennifer. |
00:45:53 |
Really? |
00:45:56 |
Happy birthday to Tiffany. |
00:46:07 |
A toast to the baby. |
00:46:10 |
You can't toast our future baby |
00:46:13 |
I can't have alcohol if I'm pregnant. |
00:46:16 |
Bingo. That's baby-smart. |
00:46:20 |
Dart it up? |
00:46:24 |
I Wish you could've seen our dad's face |
00:46:29 |
It Was priceless. |
00:46:32 |
It's really sWeet that you guys are |
00:46:35 |
Yeah. Our dad is the best. |
00:46:37 |
I mean, When Mom died, |
00:46:39 |
But he Worked hard to raise us like |
00:46:45 |
You knoW, homeschooling, |
00:46:49 |
...friendship simulations, the Works. |
00:46:52 |
I mean, don't get me Wrong, |
00:46:55 |
Just, it's because of her grisly death |
00:47:03 |
- You owe me $5. |
00:47:05 |
That is clearly Within tWo inches |
00:47:08 |
This is in my nose. |
00:47:09 |
Okay. So I guess your nose isn't |
00:47:13 |
You're right. Here is $5. |
00:47:17 |
Thank you. |
00:47:19 |
Well, your dad certainly |
00:47:22 |
Wish some of that |
00:47:24 |
Don't Worry about it. |
00:00:09 |
What the fuck? |
00:00:11 |
First trimester. |
00:00:14 |
And that's the nose and mouth, |
00:00:19 |
Beautiful. |
00:00:20 |
NoW, should We be concerned at all |
00:00:24 |
No, I'm sure the other eye is fine. |
00:00:27 |
HoW sure? A hundred percent? |
00:00:29 |
Well, I suppose |
00:00:32 |
So there's at least a small chance |
00:00:36 |
Well, a Cyclops is |
00:00:40 |
- Thank God. |
00:00:43 |
I'm about to give birth |
00:00:46 |
I just felt it kick. |
00:00:51 |
Are you guys sure |
00:00:53 |
Being a dad is a big deal. |
00:00:55 |
You should be prepared. |
00:00:59 |
Don't you Worry, Janine. |
00:01:01 |
And by the time you poop that thing |
00:01:05 |
...We'll be so prepared, |
00:01:07 |
We'll be ready. |
00:01:14 |
They're so cute, |
00:01:17 |
I just Wanna squeeze the life |
00:01:20 |
Yeah, you might Wanna control that. |
00:01:22 |
Okay. |
00:01:23 |
Okay, Jenny, one more trip |
00:01:29 |
Hello, young lady. |
00:01:32 |
- Yeah. |
00:01:33 |
- What do you think you're doing? |
00:01:37 |
No, and my daughter |
00:01:40 |
Actually, she does Wanna join. |
00:01:42 |
Yeah, Mommy, I Want ice cream. |
00:01:44 |
Are We done here? |
00:01:46 |
- Jenny, come With Mommy. |
00:01:48 |
Come With Mommy. |
00:01:49 |
Hey, Jenny, if you change your mind, |
00:01:54 |
Nice. Reserve the option for later. |
00:01:58 |
Look at the tits on that one. |
00:02:01 |
Yeah. He needs to lose |
00:02:05 |
Did you knoW childhood obesity is |
00:02:08 |
Gentlemen. |
00:02:10 |
Hello, officer. One second, please. |
00:02:12 |
It's the number one cause |
00:02:15 |
You knoW What? |
00:02:18 |
What can We do for you? |
00:02:19 |
We've had complaints. |
00:02:24 |
Trying to coax that girl into our car, |
00:02:28 |
We're just kind of Waiting |
00:02:33 |
Get her by herself. |
00:02:49 |
And What is your badge number? |
00:02:51 |
"247726-A." |
00:02:54 |
Or should I say "sue you in court." |
00:02:56 |
And please relay that message |
00:03:03 |
Hello, Janine. |
00:03:08 |
Glad you took What I said to heart. |
00:03:10 |
- We took it very to heart. |
00:03:12 |
You guys just can't practice |
00:03:15 |
I knoW hoW badly you guys Want this, |
00:03:20 |
Do you guys even knoW |
00:03:23 |
Have you read any books |
00:03:26 |
No. |
00:03:28 |
But, I mean... . |
00:03:30 |
- The cavemen didn't read any books. |
00:03:33 |
The infant mortality rate back then |
00:03:37 |
Well, that's pretty good. |
00:03:39 |
No, that means 80 percent died. |
00:03:42 |
- I Went the other Way With it. |
00:03:44 |
I'm not joking, I seriously Went |
00:03:48 |
If you guys are gonna do this... |
00:03:50 |
...you have to stop making decisions |
00:03:54 |
...and start making decisions |
00:03:58 |
I'll take that into consideration. |
00:04:00 |
- That's not good enough. |
00:04:08 |
Can We focus? |
00:04:11 |
Guys. This baby is inside of me, |
00:04:16 |
If I don't think the tWo of you |
00:04:18 |
...you Will never even lay eyes |
00:04:21 |
Yeah. |
00:04:24 |
Got it. |
00:04:29 |
Dean. |
00:04:31 |
Hands in. |
00:04:34 |
"Become kick-ass dads," on three. |
00:04:37 |
One, tWo, three. |
00:04:38 |
- Become kick-ass dads! |
00:04:42 |
It's all right, you told them, baby. |
00:04:44 |
Second trimester. |
00:04:54 |
The baby's lost |
00:05:03 |
- Fifteen seconds. |
00:05:05 |
Dean, you gotta find that baby! |
00:05:18 |
Got it, got it! HoW'd I do? |
00:05:21 |
- Fifty-four seconds. |
00:05:23 |
- Yeah, I think it died. |
00:05:26 |
Keep your chin up. |
00:05:27 |
Bound to lose a baby or tWo |
00:05:32 |
I love you. |
00:05:35 |
- Are you ready? |
00:05:42 |
It's not alWays gonna tell us When it's |
00:05:46 |
There you go again, |
00:06:02 |
Good one, Dean. |
00:06:08 |
Looks like someone's diaper's full. |
00:06:13 |
It crapped out, like, |
00:06:17 |
I thought it'd be good |
00:06:19 |
...to vieW diaper-changing |
00:06:22 |
Brilliant. |
00:06:25 |
A friendship bracelet. |
00:06:28 |
Chicken fingers. |
00:06:30 |
And hot mustard sauce. |
00:06:37 |
Popcorn. |
00:06:39 |
That's not all. |
00:06:44 |
What the hell? I Was just starting |
00:06:49 |
Yeah. I noticed. |
00:06:51 |
What is that supposed to mean? |
00:06:52 |
It's important to get comfortable, |
00:06:56 |
So noW I'm too comfortable? |
00:06:57 |
Look, Dean, this is not a game. |
00:06:59 |
We're gonna see some shit |
00:07:02 |
Odd combos like |
00:07:04 |
...are gonna seem |
00:07:06 |
Just don't get too close. |
00:07:09 |
Fine. |
00:07:17 |
I love you too. Apology accepted. |
00:07:21 |
Ready to see a fully |
00:07:30 |
It's called the Super Baby Mat. |
00:07:32 |
It rolls right up and stores |
00:07:35 |
Hey, guys. |
00:07:43 |
Check out the nursery. |
00:07:46 |
This is really nice. |
00:07:50 |
What the fuck is that? |
00:07:51 |
That the fuck is the crib. |
00:07:53 |
The safest place in the house. |
00:07:57 |
Dean, a demonstration. |
00:08:02 |
Look out! |
00:08:13 |
See? Not a shard of glass |
00:08:18 |
Been doing some diaper training, |
00:08:21 |
Yeah, that's Snickers. |
00:08:24 |
Does not smell like Snickers. |
00:08:26 |
No, Snickers is the name |
00:08:35 |
Hi. |
00:08:37 |
I can't really talk right noW. |
00:08:42 |
It can hear me talking |
00:08:47 |
Really good to see you. |
00:08:53 |
- Third trimester. |
00:08:58 |
Looking good. |
00:09:01 |
Should be very happy. |
00:09:07 |
I'll give you four a moment. |
00:09:13 |
Hey, you guys Wanna see hoW that |
00:09:19 |
What is that? |
00:09:21 |
I got this last Week. |
00:09:24 |
Just comes off after |
00:09:30 |
I'm Walking into the apartment noW. |
00:09:33 |
I can still hear you. |
00:09:34 |
- Great. |
00:09:37 |
Hi from the car, Tara. |
00:09:39 |
The inter-apartment |
00:09:42 |
Roger that. |
00:09:45 |
Oh, yeah. Tara, great neWs. |
00:09:47 |
The ultrasound Went really Well, |
00:09:52 |
And Janine has offered to look |
00:09:57 |
I have a book I Want to finish. |
00:09:59 |
Are you sure? I could hold your hand |
00:10:05 |
No. Just go. |
00:10:07 |
Okay. Janine, looks like you back in. |
00:10:12 |
I'm gonna use the bathroom. |
00:10:15 |
Okay. Bye, Tara. |
00:10:23 |
Bathroom's doWn the hall. |
00:10:25 |
Yeah, I knoW. Look, I knoW you think |
00:10:28 |
That's What I thought too, but once |
00:10:32 |
And I knoW they do |
00:10:36 |
Actually, all the time. |
00:10:38 |
But their heart's in the right place. |
00:10:42 |
Yeah. |
00:10:43 |
Great. You'll go to the movie. |
00:10:46 |
No, I meant, yeah, I think |
00:10:52 |
Okay. |
00:10:55 |
Enjoy your book. |
00:11:19 |
This is all about encouragement |
00:11:24 |
- Just do it With me. |
00:11:27 |
Help them focus. |
00:11:29 |
- Faster, faster. |
00:11:31 |
You gotta pace it up. |
00:11:32 |
Don't listen to a Word John says. |
00:11:34 |
Keep it sloWer. |
00:11:36 |
Calm doWn. You heard the bitch say |
00:11:39 |
Do you have to sWear, honey? |
00:11:41 |
- Keep it sloW. |
00:11:43 |
Guys, this is not fair to a-- |
00:11:47 |
Cut that shit out! |
00:11:54 |
Very good, guys. That Was great. |
00:11:57 |
I'll see you guys next Week. |
00:12:00 |
Hey, class? |
00:12:03 |
- Welcome back, guys. |
00:12:05 |
Hey everybody. This is Tyler. |
00:12:09 |
- Any advice for the mothers-to-be? |
00:12:15 |
Gosh. |
00:12:18 |
What can I say? |
00:12:22 |
It's just Wonderful. I mean, |
00:12:26 |
And it's like you're looking |
00:12:31 |
I'm sorry. |
00:12:35 |
It's just so poWerful. |
00:12:38 |
You Will see. |
00:12:40 |
So does anybody Want to |
00:12:43 |
Fuck it. |
00:12:46 |
Guess I'll meet |
00:12:52 |
- Should We...? Think so? |
00:12:57 |
Honey, I'm gonna go get the car. |
00:13:02 |
- Surprise! |
00:13:05 |
Ultrasound picture. |
00:13:08 |
Thank you. |
00:13:10 |
That's really sWeet. Thank you. |
00:13:13 |
No, thank you. |
00:13:14 |
We are already |
00:13:17 |
And it's been inside you |
00:13:19 |
I can't imagine hoW attached |
00:13:22 |
And in tWo Weeks it's gonna be |
00:13:25 |
...and immediately placed |
00:13:27 |
I can see Why so many surrogates |
00:13:30 |
And your body could stop |
00:13:33 |
That happens all the time. |
00:13:35 |
And knoWing there's |
00:13:37 |
...this could be your only child, |
00:13:40 |
Well, a framed picture of the |
00:13:44 |
...is the least We could do. Thanks. |
00:13:49 |
You knoW, I could stop by every noW |
00:13:53 |
Oh, no, no. |
00:13:55 |
- We Will take it from here. |
00:13:59 |
Okay. |
00:14:01 |
Group hug? |
00:14:18 |
John? What's the combination |
00:14:22 |
27 left, 32 right, 25 left. |
00:14:26 |
You knoW, I Was thinking maybe We |
00:14:29 |
In case the baby learns |
00:14:34 |
Hey, look at this. |
00:14:38 |
It's a letter from Janine! |
00:14:40 |
That's nice of her. |
00:14:42 |
Hand-delivered. |
00:14:43 |
"Dear John and Dean, |
00:14:46 |
...What great fathers |
00:14:48 |
Never thought I'd say that |
00:14:53 |
"After seeing your hard Work |
00:14:55 |
...I realize hoW badly you Want it. |
00:14:57 |
Unfortunately, last night you made me |
00:15:02 |
It kills me to Write this, |
00:15:07 |
...keep the baby. |
00:15:10 |
I hope one day you'll forgive me. |
00:15:13 |
Oh, my God. |
00:15:20 |
Let's get dressed, let's get dressed. |
00:15:27 |
Tara, could you Watch our Dad for us? |
00:15:41 |
She's not here. |
00:15:51 |
- They're not here. |
00:16:07 |
So, What do We do noW? |
00:16:12 |
Hey. |
00:16:14 |
I Was just Watching your dad |
00:16:19 |
- Did you find her? |
00:16:21 |
But very thoughtful of you to ask. |
00:16:24 |
If that thoughtful attitude you displayed |
00:16:28 |
...there'd be no War. |
00:16:34 |
I should go. |
00:16:37 |
Well, have a fantastic |
00:16:39 |
...and a great |
00:16:57 |
HoW can you be so nonchalant |
00:17:00 |
Because I knoW that if this doesn't |
00:17:04 |
We have dick. |
00:17:06 |
No, We do not have dick. |
00:17:11 |
Tara? |
00:17:12 |
It's about time I took this thing |
00:17:15 |
She's not into you, John. |
00:17:20 |
What? |
00:17:22 |
She's not into you. |
00:17:30 |
You're just jealous of What We have. |
00:17:33 |
Jealous of What you have? |
00:17:35 |
I already have What you have: |
00:17:40 |
She thinks you're a loser. |
00:17:42 |
Oh, really? And hoW did you come up |
00:17:46 |
From your combined total of five hours |
00:17:50 |
Because I heard her say it. |
00:17:56 |
What? |
00:17:59 |
I overheard Tara talking to Janine. |
00:18:04 |
She thinks you're a loser. |
00:18:06 |
I mean, she thinks |
00:18:08 |
You knoW What? Maybe she's right. |
00:18:10 |
Maybe all that stuff that Dad |
00:18:13 |
And We're just too big of losers |
00:18:18 |
Really? |
00:18:20 |
So I've alWays been such a loser? |
00:18:23 |
I guess I Was a huge loser... |
00:18:25 |
...When I Was voted our school's |
00:18:30 |
- We Were homeschooled. |
00:18:33 |
- You tied me. |
00:18:36 |
Fine, you Won. |
00:18:40 |
But you're still a loser. |
00:18:44 |
Well, if I'm such a loser, |
00:18:48 |
Yeah. Maybe I Would. |
00:18:51 |
Good. Because you knoW What? |
00:18:56 |
Well, I certainly Wouldn't Wanna |
00:18:58 |
Then maybe I should |
00:19:00 |
Yeah. Maybe you should. |
00:19:02 |
- Fine. Have a nice life. |
00:19:05 |
Good, I hope you don't die! |
00:20:56 |
John! |
00:20:58 |
Dean? |
00:21:01 |
I am so proud of you. |
00:21:03 |
Thanks, Pop. |
00:21:06 |
Isn't he great? |
00:21:14 |
Dean. |
00:21:20 |
Keep focused on |
00:21:23 |
One. TWo. Three. |
00:21:25 |
Keep focused on finding Janine! |
00:21:32 |
Oh, God. |
00:21:56 |
That's strange. |
00:21:59 |
It's strange because I live alone. |
00:22:08 |
Can I ask What you're doing here? |
00:22:17 |
I saW a sign out front |
00:22:22 |
Wanted: |
00:22:24 |
A bull-headed brother Who sometimes |
00:22:29 |
Yeah, Well, |
00:22:34 |
There's already a bull-headed brother |
00:22:39 |
...renting this apartment. |
00:22:43 |
Oh, yeah? Who's that? |
00:22:48 |
You're talking to him. |
00:23:04 |
That's too bad. |
00:23:09 |
Say, do you think there's enough room |
00:23:15 |
...While I look for a place Willing |
00:23:19 |
...Who sometimes sticks |
00:23:21 |
...Who's really, really sorry? |
00:23:26 |
I don't knoW. |
00:23:29 |
TWo bull-headed brothers Who |
00:23:33 |
...in one small apartment? |
00:23:36 |
That doesn't sound like |
00:23:40 |
Yeah. |
00:23:43 |
HoW long are We talking? |
00:23:45 |
Not very long. |
00:23:49 |
Only the rest of my life. |
00:23:55 |
HoW much you Willing to pay? |
00:24:00 |
Just all the money in the World. |
00:24:02 |
Come here! |
00:24:11 |
- God, I've missed you. |
00:24:14 |
Hey, could I get you to |
00:24:19 |
- You got it. |
00:24:27 |
- HoW's that? |
00:24:34 |
Take a look in that mirror. |
00:24:36 |
There's not a man on this earth |
00:24:40 |
Hands in. |
00:24:42 |
ToWel off, get dressed and come up |
00:24:45 |
One. TWo. Three. |
00:24:47 |
ToWel off, get dressed and |
00:24:53 |
Wait, hold up. |
00:24:56 |
Oh, yeah. Look, I'll do it. |
00:24:58 |
No, no. |
00:25:01 |
Yeah. |
00:25:18 |
Hey, Tara. |
00:25:24 |
Yeah. Yeah, I can. |
00:25:26 |
Great, thanks. |
00:25:28 |
Wait a minute. |
00:25:30 |
- That's it? |
00:25:33 |
You're not gonna ask me to dinner |
00:25:37 |
Dinner. Does sound good. |
00:25:40 |
But no. |
00:25:42 |
And also, I'm over you. |
00:25:43 |
Burn! Facial! Suck it! |
00:26:03 |
All right, let's game plan. |
00:26:05 |
BetWeen the tWo of us, We've already |
00:26:09 |
She could be anyWhere. |
00:26:11 |
I Wish there Was some Way |
00:26:13 |
...and say What We Wanted to say |
00:26:18 |
Fortune cookies? |
00:26:19 |
- Interesting idea, but... . |
00:26:21 |
You're on the right track, |
00:26:37 |
- Oh, my God. |
00:26:41 |
What a great and delicious idea. |
00:26:43 |
Your engine cannot run on optimum |
00:26:48 |
All right. We gotta get our message |
00:26:52 |
Yeah. |
00:26:59 |
- Oh, my God. |
00:27:01 |
It Was right in front of our face. |
00:27:03 |
I got there a fraction of a second |
00:27:06 |
Let's go. |
00:27:11 |
- Where you going? |
00:27:13 |
What does that |
00:27:15 |
- What Were you thinking? |
00:27:21 |
I can't believe they charged us |
00:27:24 |
That's Why We kept it short. |
00:27:26 |
So, What do We do noW? |
00:27:30 |
We Wait. |
00:27:42 |
Oh, my God. I think I see it. |
00:27:45 |
"Hi, my name is John." |
00:27:48 |
"And I'm his brother Dean." |
00:27:52 |
"Hi. |
00:27:54 |
We've got a little situation here, |
00:27:58 |
"HoW can you help? |
00:28:00 |
Well, sit back and relax, |
00:28:03 |
You can start by grabbing |
00:28:06 |
...to Write doWn some information." |
00:28:10 |
"We'll give you a moment |
00:28:28 |
"We are sorry if We didn't |
00:28:31 |
...to get the necessary Writing |
00:28:34 |
...but We are under |
00:28:38 |
...With this sky banner." |
00:28:40 |
"We are looking for a Woman |
00:28:44 |
She is five-foot-eight, |
00:28:50 |
"Oh, that really narroWs it doWn." |
00:28:52 |
"Fine, Dean, then hoW |
00:28:55 |
"Well, she just looks like a normal, |
00:28:58 |
"Oh, that's much better." |
00:29:00 |
"Janine is eight and a half months |
00:29:06 |
Well, fine, Dean's. |
00:29:09 |
I have a problem |
00:29:12 |
...a subject Dean likes |
00:29:19 |
"Okay, let me get in here |
00:29:22 |
You make one little joke |
00:29:25 |
...and suddenly you deserve |
00:29:27 |
"On a sky banner that could |
00:29:31 |
...by 50,000 people? |
00:29:34 |
That's fucking bullshit." |
00:29:40 |
"Dean, none of that matters |
00:29:43 |
What matters most is that Janine sees |
00:29:48 |
"So for those of you reading this... |
00:29:50 |
...We need to ask you |
00:30:14 |
"Just in case Janine has |
00:30:18 |
...and can't read the sign--" |
00:30:20 |
"It Would really be a big help |
00:30:25 |
"'Janine, look in the sky."' |
00:30:29 |
- "'Janine, look in the sky."' |
00:30:34 |
Janine, look in the sky! |
00:30:37 |
Janine, look in the sky! |
00:30:39 |
Janine, look in the sky! |
00:30:44 |
Think this maybe might Work? |
00:30:47 |
I think this definitely |
00:30:52 |
Janine, look in the sky! |
00:30:55 |
Janine, look in the sky! |
00:31:01 |
Baby. |
00:31:04 |
I think you need to |
00:31:09 |
"Janine, hopefully you're |
00:31:12 |
There's so much |
00:31:15 |
We never meant to come |
00:31:18 |
"So We Want you to keep the baby, |
00:31:24 |
Maybe if We had told you that in |
00:31:29 |
Hopefully We're not too late." |
00:31:31 |
"Oh, my God. |
00:31:34 |
"No, I have something in my eye." |
00:31:37 |
"AnyWays, please, |
00:31:40 |
...We are offering a reWard of |
00:31:45 |
Just kidding, dollars." |
00:31:47 |
- "Nice." |
00:32:04 |
What the hell? They cut off our-- |
00:32:07 |
Wait. Look! |
00:32:21 |
You have one new message. |
00:32:26 |
Hey, my name's Matt |
00:32:30 |
I wanna propose to my girlfriend... |
00:32:32 |
... and I need the phone number |
00:32:35 |
I'm at 555-0183. |
00:32:42 |
Oh, hey, Tara, We're home. |
00:32:45 |
She loves that bathroom. |
00:32:52 |
Well, We did our best. |
00:32:56 |
Yup. |
00:32:59 |
And Dad knoWs that. |
00:33:01 |
We got nothing to be ashamed of. |
00:33:06 |
Hands in. |
00:33:13 |
What should We do on this one? |
00:33:16 |
I'm really kind of stumped, like... . |
00:33:18 |
I gotta be honest, I don't knoW |
00:33:23 |
HoW about |
00:33:27 |
- Oh, my God. |
00:33:29 |
I had to use your bathroom. |
00:33:32 |
After all, I'm peeing for five noW. |
00:33:34 |
That is, if the offer still stands. |
00:33:38 |
Oh, my God. Do you mean it? |
00:33:42 |
Janine! |
00:33:44 |
Sorry. |
00:33:46 |
So you saW our sky banner? |
00:33:49 |
Actually, James did. |
00:33:53 |
Hey, guys. |
00:33:55 |
James! |
00:33:57 |
All right. Yeah, all right, settle doWn. |
00:34:01 |
I have a little something I've been |
00:34:05 |
This is the perfect time to open it. |
00:34:11 |
Hey there, little one. HoW are you? |
00:34:16 |
Oh, here it is. |
00:34:20 |
Oh, my God. My Water just broke. |
00:34:22 |
We gotta go. We gotta go, honey. |
00:34:25 |
- We're having a baby! |
00:34:27 |
We're having a baby! |
00:34:29 |
Wait, Wait! HoW are We gonna |
00:34:33 |
I'm on it. |
00:34:38 |
911 ? Hurry, send an ambulance! |
00:34:44 |
We're having a baby! |
00:34:54 |
- Hold it in! |
00:34:56 |
Suck it up there! Come on! |
00:34:59 |
Just breathe, baby. Just breathe. |
00:35:02 |
That's it. |
00:35:04 |
Where's the fucking doctor?! |
00:35:05 |
- She's ready, get the doctor. |
00:35:09 |
- Here you go, sWeetheart. |
00:35:12 |
Where's the doctor? |
00:35:15 |
Oh, Jesus. |
00:35:17 |
Surprise! |
00:35:18 |
- Look Who's here! |
00:35:21 |
Just trying to give Dad |
00:35:24 |
There's too much blanket. |
00:35:26 |
That's the sWeet spot. |
00:35:29 |
Okay. Let's do this thing. |
00:35:33 |
Okay. Okay. |
00:35:36 |
Push. |
00:35:38 |
Breathe. |
00:35:40 |
- Push! |
00:35:42 |
Push, Janine. Push, Janine. |
00:35:44 |
One more push. One more. |
00:35:46 |
That's good. That's good, baby. |
00:35:48 |
It's coming out! |
00:35:50 |
Come on. |
00:35:51 |
That's it. |
00:35:54 |
The head is out. The head is out. |
00:35:56 |
I see the head! |
00:35:57 |
That's good, baby. It's all right. |
00:35:59 |
One more big push, Janine. Come on. |
00:36:04 |
That's it. Push hard. Push hard. |
00:36:08 |
There it is. Very good, Janine. |
00:36:20 |
Congratulations, it's a boy. |
00:36:22 |
You had a baby! |
00:36:24 |
It's a baby! It came out of there! |
00:36:39 |
NoW, that is one beautiful baby. |
00:36:45 |
Can We shoW the baby to Dad? |
00:36:49 |
Dad, I'd like to introduce you |
00:36:53 |
Dad, he's got your eyes. |
00:37:05 |
Okay, let's get a picture |
00:37:08 |
One, tWo, three. |
00:37:23 |
And remember, put the bungee cord |
00:37:26 |
...so When the baby does |
00:37:28 |
All right. |
00:37:29 |
But never leave the child |
00:37:32 |
Where do I start? Hanging hazard, |
00:37:35 |
...autoerotic-asphyxiation risk... . |
00:37:38 |
Kids are starting really early |
00:37:41 |
Listen, you might Wanna change |
00:37:44 |
OtherWise, the elasticity goes to shit, |
00:37:48 |
- Thanks, James. |
00:37:51 |
Thank you. They said there Were three |
00:37:56 |
What Was the third one again? |
00:37:57 |
Jesus! |
00:37:59 |
It's okay, he's fine. He's in a coma. |
00:38:01 |
I hope he lives. |
00:38:02 |
Hope your baby doesn't die. |
00:38:04 |
- Guard your baby With your life. |
00:38:08 |
Thanks again. |
00:38:10 |
Safety first, right? |
00:38:12 |
I love you. |
00:38:14 |
Who's that over there? |
00:38:16 |
Who's this? That's grandpa. |
00:38:20 |
He's not gonna be able to talk-- |
00:38:22 |
Grandpa? |
00:38:24 |
- No Way! |
00:38:26 |
Dean. Don't sWear. |
00:38:28 |
Well, I'm sorry. |
00:38:29 |
You never knoW hoW you'll react |
00:38:34 |
Well, be careful. |
00:38:36 |
Babies are like little sponges. |
00:38:39 |
Sorry. |
00:38:40 |
Fuck. |
00:38:42 |
Didn't I tell you this motherfucker |
00:38:45 |
- No, no, no. That's a bad Word. |
00:38:48 |
No, no, that's okay. |
00:38:50 |
Say the other Word. |
00:38:52 |
- The other Word Will make you happy. |
00:38:56 |
Grandpa? |
00:38:58 |
Good boy. |
00:39:00 |
Grandson. |
00:39:04 |
Grandson? |
00:39:06 |
- Dad? |
00:39:11 |
Oh, my God. |
00:39:16 |
Look. It's your grandson. |
00:39:29 |
Holy shit. |
00:39:31 |
Holy shit is right, Dad. |
00:39:35 |
We used every lesson you ever |
00:39:38 |
He's a Solomon. |
00:39:48 |
I'm so proud of you boys. |
00:39:51 |
You did good. |
00:39:53 |
Hands in. |
00:39:58 |
"Solomon family," on three. |
00:40:00 |
One, tWo, three. Solomon family! |
00:40:26 |
Let's do this. |
00:40:31 |
Head came off. |
00:40:33 |
Okay, that Wasn't good enough. |
00:40:34 |
But the baby's still here. |
00:40:37 |
Let's do this! |
00:40:41 |
Action. |
00:40:47 |
It's nice to meet you, sir. |
00:40:51 |
Tell all your friends to come on over. |
00:40:55 |
We'll be right here. Rain or shine. |
00:40:58 |
Luckily, We're both Wearing |
00:41:00 |
Baby scramble. |
00:41:04 |
Line it up! |
00:41:11 |
So I guess herpes and gonorrhea |
00:41:16 |
That Was not your five. |
00:41:19 |
When my brother has a five |
00:41:22 |
...I don't leave it there. |
00:41:25 |
Thank you. |
00:41:29 |
He's not handicapped. |
00:41:32 |
Handi-capable. |
00:41:33 |
No, he's... . |
00:41:35 |
- Disabled? |
00:41:37 |
- He's-- |
00:41:40 |
He's cloWning for the camera. |
00:41:42 |
God's special little cloWn. |
00:41:44 |
Get out. |
00:41:46 |
- NoW? |
00:41:47 |
I told you. |
00:41:49 |
- Does he Want us to go? |
00:41:53 |
They're not making any noise. |
00:42:04 |
What? |
00:42:14 |
Oh, my God. |
00:42:27 |
Cut. |