|
Bruce Almighty
|
| 00:01:07 |
SUSAN: And that's the news. |
| 00:01:08 |
But before we sign off, we'd like |
| 00:01:13 |
who has just been elected |
| 00:01:17 |
And, now, we have a surprise for Evan. |
| 00:01:19 |
No, you don't. |
| 00:01:20 |
Oh, no. I really didn't expect this. |
| 00:01:23 |
Here's a look back at his run for office. |
| 00:01:26 |
(PEOPLE CHEERING) |
| 00:01:28 |
What are we gonna do? |
| 00:01:29 |
ALL: Change the world! |
| 00:01:31 |
That's right! |
| 00:01:32 |
(ALL CHEERING) |
| 00:01:39 |
ALL: Baxter! Baxter! Baxter! |
| 00:01:48 |
Hi. |
| 00:01:49 |
ALL: Baxter! Baxter! |
| 00:01:51 |
That's right! |
| 00:01:54 |
(CLEARING THROAT) |
| 00:01:57 |
I feel like that old Indian |
| 00:02:02 |
So, for the last time, this is Evan Baxter |
| 00:02:08 |
(HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THE RAIN PLAYING) |
| 00:02:24 |
GPS: Huntsville, Virginia. |
| 00:02:27 |
What did we do before GPS? |
| 00:02:29 |
Nothing. |
| 00:02:30 |
Guys, Dad's very proud of his new car. |
| 00:02:32 |
Hey, I am proud of my new car. |
| 00:02:37 |
I'm in the public eye, and as you know, |
| 00:02:40 |
image is everything, isn't it? |
| 00:02:46 |
EVAN: Here it is! Welcome to the good life. |
| 00:02:49 |
Hey, guys, why the long faces? |
| 00:02:54 |
It's just we're going to miss our friends. |
| 00:02:56 |
You'll make new friends, better friends. |
| 00:02:58 |
Yeah, richer friends. |
| 00:02:59 |
Do not mouth off to me, sir. |
| 00:03:03 |
And let me tell you something, |
| 00:03:06 |
And you know what? I think there's |
| 00:03:11 |
EVAN: Baxter family, |
| 00:03:14 |
And I don't think the big man himself |
| 00:03:18 |
Hey, Dad, an iguana can stay underwater |
| 00:03:20 |
What's that? |
| 00:03:21 |
And a shrimp's heart is in its head. |
| 00:03:23 |
Okay, someone's had enough Animal Planet |
| 00:03:25 |
Yeah, let's head out! Come on. |
| 00:03:29 |
EVAN: Gentlemen, I have saved |
| 00:03:31 |
Look over to the right. |
| 00:03:41 |
RYAN: Whoa! |
| 00:03:42 |
JORDAN: That's our house? |
| 00:03:44 |
Uh-huh. |
| 00:03:46 |
Was it this big in the brochure? |
| 00:03:47 |
EVAN: Pretty amazing, isn't it? |
| 00:03:48 |
There they are! |
| 00:03:51 |
Is this curb appeal or what? |
| 00:03:54 |
Here we go! |
| 00:03:55 |
Honey, I think you're blocking my photo. |
| 00:03:57 |
Sorry. |
| 00:03:58 |
All right, everybody! Say "escrow"! |
| 00:04:00 |
ALL: Escrow! |
| 00:04:03 |
RYAN: Come on. Come on. Come on. |
| 00:04:06 |
EVAN: Guys, easy. |
| 00:04:09 |
(CHILDREN EXCLAIMING) |
| 00:04:11 |
This is our house? |
| 00:04:12 |
Uh-huh. |
| 00:04:14 |
MAN: Careful! |
| 00:04:15 |
JOAN: Honey, be careful! |
| 00:04:17 |
Are you kidding me? |
| 00:04:18 |
Mom, can we go upstairs? |
| 00:04:20 |
And I get my own room, right? |
| 00:04:21 |
(YELLING EXCITEDLY) |
| 00:04:22 |
Mr. Baxter, could you give us some |
| 00:04:25 |
Sure. |
| 00:04:26 |
Okay, it's between your maple |
| 00:04:31 |
That is nice! Which is best? |
| 00:04:33 |
Well, if you're not sensitive |
| 00:04:36 |
you can't beat the Brazilian cherry. |
| 00:04:37 |
It's 200, 300 years old. |
| 00:04:39 |
Three hundred years. |
| 00:04:40 |
Wow. That is old. |
| 00:04:42 |
And now you are going to hold my dishes. |
| 00:04:44 |
That's right. You going with the cherry? |
| 00:04:46 |
Yeah. Definitely. |
| 00:04:49 |
RYAN: Dad, look! |
| 00:04:50 |
No, no, no! |
| 00:04:51 |
Ryan, do not touch him, please! |
| 00:04:54 |
Oh, no, no, no, no, get him away! |
| 00:04:55 |
No. He might have lice, fleas, |
| 00:04:58 |
You do not play with stray dogs |
| 00:05:01 |
No, no! Get away, get away! Go! |
| 00:05:04 |
Okay. Oh, no, no, no. |
| 00:05:05 |
He's thirsty. |
| 00:05:07 |
No, you don't! There we go. |
| 00:05:10 |
Well, Ryan, he's a stray. |
| 00:05:11 |
If we give him water, |
| 00:05:13 |
Come on, Dad, why can't we keep him? |
| 00:05:17 |
Okay, Ryan, this is why we can't keep him. |
| 00:05:19 |
They are stinky. They are smelly. |
| 00:05:21 |
They get a little thing called the mange. |
| 00:05:23 |
In a nutshell, he is disgusting. |
| 00:05:26 |
(BOTH GIGGLING) |
| 00:05:30 |
EVAN: Ladies and gentlemen, |
| 00:05:34 |
of the Baxters' new and exciting life. |
| 00:05:35 |
I have to do the new house dance. |
| 00:05:38 |
Wow! That dance? |
| 00:05:40 |
Mmm-hmm. |
| 00:05:42 |
Thank you. |
| 00:05:43 |
You know, those boys were having |
| 00:05:46 |
I thought I would never get them to bed. |
| 00:05:48 |
And then Ryan did the cutest thing. |
| 00:05:53 |
Really? What did you pray about? |
| 00:05:55 |
He met a dog. What do you think |
| 00:05:58 |
(EXCLAIMING IN DISGUST) |
| 00:06:00 |
Just a walking petri dish, that dog. |
| 00:06:02 |
And Jordan was very precise. |
| 00:06:05 |
He prayed for good visibility, good weather |
| 00:06:09 |
The hiking trip? Oh, right. Yeah. |
| 00:06:12 |
You wanna know what I prayed for? |
| 00:06:14 |
Yeah. What did you pray for? |
| 00:06:16 |
I prayed we would become closer |
| 00:06:20 |
Honey, you don't need to pray for that |
| 00:06:25 |
(SIGHING) |
| 00:06:26 |
What would you pray for? |
| 00:06:28 |
Me? I don't know. Praying just... |
| 00:06:31 |
(SIGHING) |
| 00:06:32 |
Honey, you're the one who said |
| 00:06:37 |
It's a pretty big job. |
| 00:06:39 |
If it were me, |
| 00:06:44 |
(CROWD CHEERING) |
| 00:06:47 |
WOMAN OVER TV: Former Buffalo News |
| 00:06:50 |
to make good on a lofty campaign promise. |
| 00:06:52 |
What are we going to do? |
| 00:06:54 |
ALL: Change the world! |
| 00:06:55 |
WOMAN OVER TV: Good luck, Congressman. |
| 00:06:58 |
Hello! |
| 00:07:00 |
This is Regina Sparks reporting for... |
| 00:07:05 |
(SIGHING) |
| 00:07:18 |
(CLEARING THROAT) |
| 00:07:19 |
Hello, there. Hi. |
| 00:07:22 |
This is Evan Baxter. |
| 00:07:26 |
Just wanted to say thank you for everything. |
| 00:07:28 |
Thank you for the new car and for the house. |
| 00:07:32 |
The house is great. I love it. |
| 00:07:36 |
I mean, I picked it out, |
| 00:07:44 |
I just wanted to say that I think |
| 00:07:48 |
and that I am now in a position |
| 00:07:52 |
and I know that with great power |
| 00:07:58 |
So, God, |
| 00:08:01 |
(CLEARING THROAT) |
| 00:08:04 |
Please help me change the world. |
| 00:08:09 |
Okay. That's it. I'm hanging up now. |
| 00:08:12 |
God bless... Well, you. Okay. |
| 00:08:31 |
(ALARM RINGING) |
| 00:08:38 |
What? That's weird. |
| 00:08:40 |
What? |
| 00:08:41 |
I set the alarm for 7:00. |
| 00:08:46 |
(MOTOR WHIRRING) |
| 00:08:49 |
(GRUNTING) |
| 00:08:53 |
(SNEEZING) |
| 00:08:54 |
(GRUNTING) |
| 00:09:17 |
I am successful. I am powerful. |
| 00:09:19 |
I am happy, successful, |
| 00:09:23 |
All right, everyone, wish me luck. |
| 00:09:28 |
All right, Baxter brood, I will see you |
| 00:09:33 |
EVAN: You psyched? Are you ready? |
| 00:09:34 |
ALL: Yeah. |
| 00:09:36 |
Bye. See you. |
| 00:09:37 |
Bye, guys! |
| 00:09:38 |
Later, gator. |
| 00:09:40 |
(EXCLAIMING) |
| 00:09:41 |
Oh, gosh. |
| 00:09:42 |
Wow. Honey, did you order anything? |
| 00:09:46 |
"Alpha and Omega Hardware"? |
| 00:09:48 |
JOAN: Never heard of them. |
| 00:09:49 |
Me either. |
| 00:09:51 |
What do we have? |
| 00:09:53 |
(GASPING) |
| 00:09:54 |
What is this stuff? |
| 00:09:57 |
Must have the wrong address. |
| 00:09:59 |
Yup. The wrong address. |
| 00:10:04 |
WOMAN: Congressman Baxter. |
| 00:10:06 |
MAN 1: Good morning, |
| 00:10:08 |
MAN 2: Good morning, |
| 00:10:10 |
Oh, this is so cool. |
| 00:10:15 |
Uh-huh. |
| 00:10:16 |
Yeah. This'll work. |
| 00:10:18 |
There he is! The head honcho. |
| 00:10:22 |
Rita, I think I have to do the dance. |
| 00:10:24 |
Do the dance. |
| 00:10:25 |
(GRUNTING) |
| 00:10:29 |
That's enough of the dance. |
| 00:10:30 |
Oh, this is nice! This is really nice! |
| 00:10:33 |
This is too nice. |
| 00:10:35 |
Do you smell anthrax? |
| 00:10:37 |
Congressman! |
| 00:10:39 |
Nice sound to that. |
| 00:10:40 |
Here they are! |
| 00:10:41 |
(ALL CHEERING) |
| 00:10:42 |
All right. |
| 00:10:43 |
You remember Sarah, Allen, Michael. |
| 00:10:45 |
I don't think you know the new kid |
| 00:10:48 |
Sort of a walking search engine. Watch this. |
| 00:10:51 |
15. |
| 00:10:52 |
And Congressman Baxter's coffee habits? |
| 00:10:54 |
He likes a morning latte with a cruller, |
| 00:10:57 |
served sans pastry of any kind. |
| 00:10:59 |
Very impressive. A little freaky, |
| 00:11:02 |
(LAUGHING) I love you. |
| 00:11:04 |
Hmm? |
| 00:11:06 |
I mean, we should hang out socially. |
| 00:11:10 |
Not going to happen. |
| 00:11:11 |
Go find out where his license plates are. |
| 00:11:14 |
EUGENE: He was actually right. |
| 00:11:16 |
I'm doing a background check on that kid. |
| 00:11:18 |
Ta-da! This, my friend, is a power office, |
| 00:11:22 |
BOTH: "Change the world!" |
| 00:11:24 |
Okay, Evan, who do you know? |
| 00:11:25 |
Oh, come on. |
| 00:11:28 |
Today, look at this place. |
| 00:11:29 |
"Enjoy your office. |
| 00:11:33 |
Congressman Long did this? |
| 00:11:35 |
That's right. He lives in Prestige Crest, |
| 00:11:38 |
Evan, you got to tell me these things. |
| 00:11:42 |
You and Congressman Long |
| 00:11:44 |
Congressman Long eating your hot dog. |
| 00:11:46 |
RITA: Hate to break up |
| 00:11:48 |
Congressman Long's assistant |
| 00:11:51 |
The Congressman would like for you |
| 00:11:52 |
to junior cosponsor this bill |
| 00:11:55 |
Hold on. Congressman Long asked us to |
| 00:11:59 |
The Citizens' Integration of Public Lands Act. |
| 00:12:02 |
Never heard of it. Gene, here, now. |
| 00:12:05 |
I just did. |
| 00:12:06 |
You need to tell me about it |
| 00:12:08 |
Marty, you are not the vice congressman. |
| 00:12:10 |
Nobody voted for you. If Evan gets shot |
| 00:12:14 |
If Evan got shot in the head, |
| 00:12:16 |
Play nice. Play nice. |
| 00:12:17 |
All right, Eugene, Congressman Long's bill. |
| 00:12:19 |
HR7124, better known as CINPLAN. |
| 00:12:22 |
The bill would open up fringe areas |
| 00:12:25 |
Long's been sitting on it for ages... |
| 00:12:27 |
Got it. Pause. Come on, Evan, this is huge. |
| 00:12:29 |
You hitch your wagon to the right star, |
| 00:12:30 |
you could ride all the way down |
| 00:12:32 |
This is day one. |
| 00:12:34 |
You got your name on a major piece |
| 00:12:36 |
Oh, and another thing, |
| 00:12:39 |
Well, I can't do it today. |
| 00:12:41 |
I promised my kids... |
| 00:12:42 |
Well, sir, there's a time clock on the bill. |
| 00:12:44 |
If Congressman Long wants to |
| 00:12:46 |
he's going to have to introduce it |
| 00:12:48 |
I'm personally going with whatever |
| 00:12:51 |
because if I could be like one man, |
| 00:12:54 |
Either him or Kareem. |
| 00:12:56 |
Can I tase him? |
| 00:12:57 |
Gene! Heel! |
| 00:12:58 |
It'd probably be you. |
| 00:12:59 |
Come on, Evan, this is it! |
| 00:13:03 |
It's world-changing time! |
| 00:13:05 |
(EXCLAIMING) |
| 00:13:08 |
Hey, anybody home? |
| 00:13:09 |
Come on. We're in here! |
| 00:13:11 |
Hey, guys. |
| 00:13:12 |
Dad, guess what? I got all your stuff |
| 00:13:18 |
What's wrong? |
| 00:13:20 |
We're not going, are we? |
| 00:13:21 |
First things first. |
| 00:13:27 |
Yeah. |
| 00:13:28 |
See? I told you. And you owe me five bucks. |
| 00:13:31 |
Whoa, whoa, guys. |
| 00:13:32 |
Hey. Hey, we said we would |
| 00:13:35 |
DYLAN: Yeah. Whatever. |
| 00:13:37 |
Hey, I'm the one who has to read this thing! |
| 00:13:40 |
Hey. Did you hear? |
| 00:13:46 |
Okay, Ry, let's clean all this stuff up. |
| 00:14:06 |
(ALARM RINGING) |
| 00:14:07 |
No. It's 6:14. |
| 00:14:10 |
Of course. Voodoo clock speaks again. |
| 00:14:21 |
What the... |
| 00:14:23 |
Hey! Hey! Hey! No. Okay. |
| 00:14:27 |
Whoa, whoa! Whoa, whoa! What's going on? |
| 00:14:31 |
I got a delivery for Evan Baxter! |
| 00:14:33 |
Yeah, that's not mine. I didn't order that! |
| 00:14:35 |
I just deliver, guy, huh? |
| 00:14:39 |
No! Hey! Listen! We are 416, not 614! |
| 00:14:43 |
You've got the wrong house! |
| 00:14:47 |
Listen! Listen! |
| 00:14:50 |
That's going to leave a brown patch! |
| 00:14:53 |
I am a U.S. Congressman! |
| 00:14:55 |
(MAN CHATTERING ON TV) |
| 00:15:04 |
(PHONE RINGING) |
| 00:15:07 |
Dad, what are you doing? I'm watching this. |
| 00:15:09 |
Genesis 6:14. |
| 00:15:14 |
Gen 6:14. |
| 00:15:16 |
Joan! Do we have a Bible anywhere? |
| 00:15:27 |
Genesis 6:14. |
| 00:15:28 |
"Make thee an ark of gopher wood..." |
| 00:15:32 |
Gopher wood. |
| 00:15:46 |
GOD: "Go-four-wood." Get it? |
| 00:15:52 |
Well, it's not really gopher wood. |
| 00:15:56 |
No, it's pine and maple. |
| 00:15:57 |
It was clear-cut from this valley |
| 00:16:01 |
Excuse me. Do I know you? |
| 00:16:02 |
Not as well as I'd like. |
| 00:16:06 |
I see you got my housewarming gift. |
| 00:16:08 |
That was you? You sent those? |
| 00:16:11 |
What are they for? Hey! Hey. |
| 00:16:14 |
Genesis, chapter six, verse fourteen. |
| 00:16:17 |
I want you to build an ark. |
| 00:16:18 |
You want me to build an ark. |
| 00:16:21 |
Yes. |
| 00:16:22 |
So that's why the tools. |
| 00:16:28 |
All right. Well, let's just start over. |
| 00:16:31 |
(CLEARING THROAT) |
| 00:16:32 |
Hello, I am Evan... |
| 00:16:33 |
Evan Baxter. Born June 15, 1962. |
| 00:16:37 |
Eight pounds, 11 ounces. |
| 00:16:39 |
Mother's Carroll Ann Parker. |
| 00:16:42 |
(EXCLAIMING) |
| 00:16:43 |
You have internet access. Very impressive. |
| 00:16:46 |
You're a clean freak. You care much |
| 00:16:50 |
Your left nipple is a quarter inch higher |
| 00:16:52 |
And when you were a little boy, |
| 00:16:57 |
Who are you? |
| 00:16:59 |
I'm God. |
| 00:17:01 |
You're God? |
| 00:17:02 |
Yes. And I want you, Evan Baxter, |
| 00:17:08 |
Okay. You know what? This conversation |
| 00:17:14 |
But I got to get going, |
| 00:17:19 |
Busy, busy, busy, busy. Nice meeting you. |
| 00:17:27 |
All right, see you later! |
| 00:17:32 |
Shake it off, Evan. It's over. |
| 00:17:35 |
I am successful, I'm powerful, |
| 00:17:38 |
Successful, powerful, handsome, happy. |
| 00:17:41 |
(SCREAMING) |
| 00:17:42 |
Get it out, son. It's the beginning of wisdom. |
| 00:17:44 |
How did you get in here? |
| 00:17:46 |
Oh, no. No need! Look! Look. |
| 00:17:50 |
Officer! Officer! Officer! Carjacker! |
| 00:17:57 |
(GASPING) |
| 00:17:59 |
Careful pulling out. |
| 00:18:06 |
(EXCLAIMING IN DISBELIEF) |
| 00:18:08 |
(CAR HONKING) |
| 00:18:11 |
(TIRES SCREECHING) |
| 00:18:13 |
(STAMMERING) |
| 00:18:22 |
(ELEVATOR BELL RINGING) |
| 00:18:33 |
(EXCLAIMS) |
| 00:18:34 |
Shake it off, shake it off! |
| 00:18:40 |
Good morning, chief! |
| 00:18:41 |
(EXCLAIMING) |
| 00:18:42 |
Good morning, Rita. |
| 00:18:43 |
You almost scared me to death! |
| 00:18:46 |
Nothing. Just sort of a weird ride in. |
| 00:18:48 |
Weird how? |
| 00:18:49 |
It was just a weird ride in. |
| 00:18:51 |
Okay, well, thanks for clarifying. |
| 00:18:54 |
Here's your mail and your schedule. |
| 00:18:56 |
And they finally fixed the phones. |
| 00:19:02 |
614. |
| 00:19:03 |
Yeah. 614? |
| 00:19:04 |
Right. |
| 00:19:06 |
You want me to write that down? |
| 00:19:09 |
I'd rather you didn't. |
| 00:19:12 |
MARTY: Good morning. |
| 00:19:13 |
Hey, Long came through with that seat |
| 00:19:15 |
You stuck in your thumb |
| 00:19:18 |
Also, the new Congressional plates |
| 00:19:20 |
Gene, plates, now. |
| 00:19:24 |
Boy or girl? |
| 00:19:25 |
Just as cute as a button. Not bad |
| 00:19:29 |
Six pounds, 14 ounces. |
| 00:19:31 |
How'd you know that? |
| 00:19:32 |
Lucky guess. |
| 00:19:34 |
(EXCLAIMING) |
| 00:19:35 |
Hot, hot, hot! Hot off the press! |
| 00:19:40 |
(GASPS) |
| 00:19:41 |
MARTY: Those are rock-star plates, man. |
| 00:19:43 |
You can't be sitting in a chair. |
| 00:19:44 |
You've got a committee meeting |
| 00:19:46 |
Come on, BMIC, Big Man in Congress. |
| 00:19:56 |
(HAMMER POUNDING) |
| 00:19:58 |
MAN: House Resources Committee |
| 00:20:00 |
The Chair recognizes the congresswoman |
| 00:20:02 |
to lead the Pledge of Allegiance. |
| 00:20:05 |
CONGRESSWOMAN: |
| 00:20:06 |
ALL: I pledge allegiance to the flag |
| 00:20:08 |
of the United States of America |
| 00:20:10 |
and to the Republic, for which it stands... |
| 00:20:14 |
...one nation, under me... |
| 00:20:16 |
ALL: Indivisible, |
| 00:20:22 |
How long do you want to do this, son? |
| 00:20:28 |
(ALL GASPING) |
| 00:20:30 |
(CLAMORING) |
| 00:20:34 |
(WHISTLING) |
| 00:20:36 |
Hey. You okay, young man? |
| 00:20:40 |
What happened? |
| 00:20:41 |
Dropped like a leaf |
| 00:20:43 |
Chuck Long, |
| 00:20:46 |
Oh. Oh. Congressman Long. Yes. |
| 00:20:50 |
Forget it! Many a man's been humbled |
| 00:20:54 |
So, how'd you like that office? |
| 00:20:55 |
Oh, it was great. Yes. Thank you, sir. |
| 00:20:57 |
Not bad for a freshman dorm room, huh? |
| 00:21:00 |
So here's the skinny. |
| 00:21:01 |
I'm bringing you into my land use bill |
| 00:21:04 |
because you strike me as the type of guy |
| 00:21:07 |
Yes, sir. I read the bill, and it's great. |
| 00:21:10 |
Hey, I wrote the thing |
| 00:21:13 |
We'll get to the questions later. |
| 00:21:16 |
Yes, sir. I'm in. |
| 00:21:18 |
I'll need you to put that into |
| 00:21:20 |
as soon as you're feeling up to it, |
| 00:21:22 |
Enjoy that office. |
| 00:21:24 |
Thank you, sir. |
| 00:21:25 |
He's exhausted from reading that bill. |
| 00:21:30 |
Evan, sit down. |
| 00:21:31 |
Evan, what happened to you? |
| 00:21:32 |
You can't faint during the Pledge |
| 00:21:35 |
Oh, good. The doctor's here. |
| 00:21:36 |
Say "ah." |
| 00:21:37 |
(GASPING) |
| 00:21:38 |
Just go home, get some rest |
| 00:21:43 |
(CHUCKLES) |
| 00:21:49 |
Evan? |
| 00:21:50 |
O.K. |
| 00:21:55 |
Noah build the ark for his wife and 3 sons... |
| 00:21:59 |
(CHATTERING) |
| 00:22:02 |
The ark was 300 qubics long and |
| 00:22:07 |
(DOOR OPEN) |
| 00:22:09 |
What are you doing? |
| 00:22:11 |
Going over Todd's Bill? |
| 00:22:12 |
Yea...That's what i was looking at... |
| 00:22:15 |
...there's a lot... |
| 00:22:19 |
You know David, you have every right |
| 00:22:22 |
I'm not freaked out, why would i be freaked out? |
| 00:22:24 |
I'm freaking out, because of the future |
| 00:22:28 |
...and then with this freaking bill your working on... |
| 00:22:33 |
The name is stressed |
| 00:22:36 |
Oh no honey, i've known you 20 years... |
| 00:22:42 |
(KIDS CHATTERING) |
| 00:22:45 |
They're getting to much sugar in they're blood |
| 00:22:48 |
Thank you honey |
| 00:22:52 |
She's right |
| 00:22:54 |
I'm just stressed and you are gone |
| 00:23:02 |
Good Morning |
| 00:23:04 |
Good Morning |
| 00:23:05 |
Good Morning, how are you? |
| 00:23:08 |
Somebody is in a good mood |
| 00:23:10 |
I am, i thought about what you said and |
| 00:23:15 |
Guess what? |
| 00:23:18 |
Hurray... Yeeaa... high five it |
| 00:23:22 |
We're gonna have a rightess hiking trip |
| 00:23:24 |
Hey dad look! |
| 00:23:26 |
Well today must be my lucky day |
| 00:23:29 |
Bye guys |
| 00:23:33 |
Good morning kitty |
| 00:23:52 |
Hey! |
| 00:24:01 |
Ohh... ohh... hey! |
| 00:24:51 |
(ANIMALS CHATTERING) |
| 00:25:02 |
(BIRDS COOING) |
| 00:25:14 |
(EVAN EXCLAIMING) |
| 00:25:23 |
MARTY: You're right on time. |
| 00:25:24 |
Long just called. He's on his way with the |
| 00:25:27 |
Congressman Jim Dodd, |
| 00:25:29 |
But don't worry, sir, |
| 00:25:32 |
That's speculation. |
| 00:25:34 |
That's too much, Gene. Who else? |
| 00:25:35 |
Congressman Richard Stamp, |
| 00:25:37 |
and Bob Hughes is Transportation. |
| 00:25:38 |
I have a draft of your support letter. |
| 00:25:40 |
Sounds like a plan. |
| 00:25:42 |
I'm good. |
| 00:25:43 |
You sure you're good? Okay. |
| 00:25:46 |
Good morning, chief. |
| 00:25:48 |
Are you okay? |
| 00:25:49 |
You don't look so good. |
| 00:25:51 |
You're all jumpy. Are you on that Fen-Phen? |
| 00:25:53 |
Guys, I'm fine. I'll be inside. |
| 00:25:58 |
(EXHALING) |
| 00:26:05 |
(CAWING) |
| 00:26:08 |
No, no, no, no. |
| 00:26:10 |
No. Okay. No, no. No. No, no. No. |
| 00:26:16 |
No, no, no. Oh, my gosh! |
| 00:26:20 |
Guys! No, no! Get out! Get out! Oh, my hair! |
| 00:26:25 |
Gentlemen, welcome. |
| 00:26:27 |
I'm Marty Stringer. |
| 00:26:30 |
This is Rita Daniels, his executive assistant. |
| 00:26:32 |
RITA: Are you ready, sir? |
| 00:26:34 |
Just a minute. No, no, no, no. |
| 00:26:38 |
Baxter's only a freshman, sir, but I think |
| 00:26:42 |
Good. Maybe this young stud can help me |
| 00:26:45 |
Oh, you'll be impressed. |
| 00:26:47 |
(BIRDS CHIRPING) |
| 00:26:50 |
Gentlemen, good to see you. |
| 00:26:54 |
Do you want to explain yourself, |
| 00:26:59 |
Oh, these |
| 00:27:01 |
(BIRDS CHIRPING) |
| 00:27:02 |
Are birds. |
| 00:27:04 |
What are they doing here? |
| 00:27:07 |
Well, that is an excellent question. |
| 00:27:09 |
And my response to said question is, |
| 00:27:13 |
they are trained |
| 00:27:16 |
aviaries, sir. |
| 00:27:18 |
(BIRDS CHIRPING) |
| 00:27:19 |
Let me make you see |
| 00:27:24 |
I can make any sort of movement, |
| 00:27:29 |
Do you have a point, Congressman? |
| 00:27:32 |
Hey, guys, what's the point? |
| 00:27:36 |
What's my point? |
| 00:27:37 |
(EXCLAIMING IN PAIN) |
| 00:27:38 |
I'll tell you. |
| 00:27:40 |
The point is |
| 00:27:44 |
that man |
| 00:27:47 |
needs to dominate creatures |
| 00:27:51 |
and, ultimately, man must |
| 00:27:55 |
dictate what happens in this country. |
| 00:28:02 |
(SIGHING) |
| 00:28:03 |
God bless America. |
| 00:28:05 |
(BIRDS CAWING) |
| 00:28:07 |
I couldn't agree more. |
| 00:28:08 |
You have got to be kidding me. |
| 00:28:10 |
CONGRESSMAN: No, of course not. |
| 00:28:11 |
We lost a huge project last year |
| 00:28:15 |
Those environmentalists got so up in arms |
| 00:28:17 |
over the potential disappearance |
| 00:28:20 |
Yeah, birds are stupid sometimes. |
| 00:28:22 |
...we lost over $25 million in business. |
| 00:28:24 |
I see where you're going with this, |
| 00:28:28 |
Your little display has obviously |
| 00:28:32 |
(LONG CHUCKLING) |
| 00:28:35 |
From now on, let's keep the surprises |
| 00:28:40 |
Yes, sir. Absolutely, sir. |
| 00:28:42 |
(BIRDS CHIRPING) |
| 00:28:52 |
Evan, that was brilliant. Risky, but brilliant. |
| 00:28:56 |
(MARTY EXCLAIMING IN DELIGHT) |
| 00:28:58 |
What the... |
| 00:28:59 |
I'll tell you one thing, these birds had |
| 00:29:04 |
You want me to get my BB gun? |
| 00:29:06 |
You know what I want you to do? |
| 00:29:08 |
Open the door? |
| 00:29:09 |
Just open the door! |
| 00:29:10 |
Close the door after I leave! Just do it! |
| 00:29:13 |
Okay. |
| 00:29:14 |
One, two, three! |
| 00:29:23 |
Man, if I get the bird flu, |
| 00:29:27 |
(TIRES SCREECHING) |
| 00:29:32 |
(GASPS) |
| 00:29:34 |
(TIRES SCREECHING) |
| 00:29:35 |
(SHEEP BLEATING) |
| 00:29:36 |
Sheep! |
| 00:29:38 |
(RACCOONS CHATTERING) |
| 00:29:40 |
(GASPS) |
| 00:29:44 |
(HISSING) |
| 00:29:47 |
Oh, no. |
| 00:29:55 |
Oh, gosh. |
| 00:29:58 |
(EXCLAIMING) |
| 00:29:59 |
Go, go, go! Get out! |
| 00:30:04 |
(EVAN SCREAMING) |
| 00:30:24 |
(DONKEY BRAYING) |
| 00:30:26 |
(COWS MOOING) |
| 00:30:27 |
Okay. No. |
| 00:30:28 |
(EVAN EXCLAIMING) |
| 00:30:30 |
No. No. |
| 00:30:35 |
I'm not doing this. It's insane! |
| 00:30:39 |
No! |
| 00:30:41 |
Enough already! |
| 00:30:43 |
See, if you had an ark, |
| 00:30:45 |
Why are you doing this? Why me? |
| 00:30:47 |
(HORSE WHINNYING) |
| 00:30:48 |
(SHEEP BLEATING) |
| 00:30:49 |
It's not time yet. Go on. Go on. |
| 00:30:53 |
Yeah, go on. |
| 00:30:55 |
So how about it? |
| 00:31:05 |
(BIRDS CHIRPING) |
| 00:31:08 |
Beautiful, isn't it? |
| 00:31:12 |
Notice how the mountains line up |
| 00:31:15 |
That's so there'd be lots of sunshine. |
| 00:31:17 |
Where are we? |
| 00:31:19 |
(CHUCKLING) |
| 00:31:20 |
Don't recognize it, eh? |
| 00:31:22 |
No. |
| 00:31:23 |
This is where you live, son. |
| 00:31:29 |
I wanted you to see the original design. |
| 00:31:46 |
So, you're really him, aren't you? |
| 00:31:49 |
You want more proof? I haven't done |
| 00:31:53 |
That's all right. I believe you. I just... |
| 00:31:57 |
You want to change the world, son. |
| 00:32:00 |
So do I. |
| 00:32:04 |
What? Well, why an ark? |
| 00:32:08 |
You wouldn't do that again. |
| 00:32:12 |
Let's just say that whatever I do, |
| 00:32:16 |
I do because I love you. |
| 00:32:19 |
Well, then you have to understand |
| 00:32:23 |
is really not part of my plans here. |
| 00:32:25 |
I need to settle into my house. |
| 00:32:28 |
(LAUGHING) |
| 00:32:29 |
What? |
| 00:32:31 |
Your plans. That's just... |
| 00:32:35 |
What are you talking... |
| 00:32:37 |
We're talking about an ark, right? |
| 00:32:39 |
An ark is huge! |
| 00:32:43 |
Well, I hear that a lot. |
| 00:32:45 |
People want to change the world, |
| 00:32:52 |
You want to know |
| 00:32:55 |
One act of random kindness at a time. |
| 00:33:06 |
Build the ark. |
| 00:33:08 |
I'll tell you what. You build it, I'll fill it. |
| 00:33:11 |
And if anybody asks, |
| 00:33:18 |
Oh, and you might need this. |
| 00:33:24 |
Well, okay. Okay, so what do I do? |
| 00:33:29 |
Well, okay. |
| 00:33:30 |
You know, that's just cruel. |
| 00:33:35 |
Do you see him? |
| 00:33:38 |
I don't see him. |
| 00:33:40 |
"Building an Ark the Old-Fashioned Way." |
| 00:33:46 |
"God is the creator of |
| 00:33:49 |
"He lives in all things and has over |
| 00:34:03 |
(ALARM RINGING) |
| 00:34:15 |
(EXCLAIMING) |
| 00:34:16 |
JOAN: Honey? You okay? |
| 00:34:21 |
No, nothing. Just dropped something. |
| 00:34:57 |
(EXCLAIMING) |
| 00:35:00 |
Okay. Okay. |
| 00:35:09 |
Yeah. |
| 00:35:10 |
There we go. Okay. |
| 00:35:19 |
(EXCLAIMS) |
| 00:35:20 |
Come on. I mean, a beard? |
| 00:35:26 |
Gross! |
| 00:35:27 |
JOAN: Packing, so it would really help me |
| 00:35:29 |
Good morning. |
| 00:35:30 |
Hey, hey, hey, good morning. |
| 00:35:31 |
(CHUCKLING) |
| 00:35:33 |
Wow. |
| 00:35:34 |
What's with the scruffle, mountain man? |
| 00:35:37 |
Oh, well, you know, I figured it was |
| 00:35:42 |
JOAN: What? |
| 00:35:43 |
(MUTTERING) |
| 00:35:44 |
(BOTH GIGGLING) |
| 00:35:46 |
Honey, did I miss something? |
| 00:35:49 |
(DOOR BELL RINGING) |
| 00:35:50 |
I'll get the door! |
| 00:35:52 |
Congratulations! |
| 00:35:54 |
What are you talking about? |
| 00:35:55 |
The lots. You bought the lots next door! |
| 00:35:58 |
Hello! |
| 00:36:01 |
Oh... |
| 00:36:06 |
And pulling the down payment out of |
| 00:36:11 |
I didn't do that, did I? |
| 00:36:13 |
You sure did. So what's your plan? |
| 00:36:16 |
Turn them for a quick profit? |
| 00:36:20 |
Who wants champagne? Hip, hip hooray! |
| 00:36:23 |
(EVE WHOOPING) |
| 00:36:27 |
You bought eight lots? |
| 00:36:28 |
Yup. I was going to surprise you. |
| 00:36:32 |
"Surprise, surprise, surprise." Gomer Pyle. |
| 00:36:36 |
(LAUGHING) |
| 00:36:37 |
What are you doing? |
| 00:36:40 |
Hey, Mom. John Lennon, |
| 00:36:42 |
Good to see you. |
| 00:36:44 |
(EXHALING) |
| 00:36:45 |
And eight lots? What are you going to |
| 00:36:50 |
I don't know. |
| 00:36:53 |
Did you say "build a boat"? |
| 00:36:54 |
It might be something fun for the family. |
| 00:36:56 |
We could take the boat, |
| 00:37:01 |
It'd be great in case it floods or something. |
| 00:37:03 |
What is going on with you? |
| 00:37:05 |
You bought all those lots |
| 00:37:09 |
Yeah. |
| 00:37:11 |
Is this, like, a midlife crisis? |
| 00:37:13 |
It's not that bad! |
| 00:37:14 |
It's not? |
| 00:37:15 |
Why do you think they call it a crisis? |
| 00:37:17 |
(KIDS CLAMORING) |
| 00:37:18 |
Hey, keep it down, you guys! Okay? |
| 00:37:22 |
Oh, my God. |
| 00:37:23 |
Honey? |
| 00:37:25 |
Oh, my God. |
| 00:37:28 |
Honey? |
| 00:37:29 |
(SNIFFLING) |
| 00:37:31 |
I know this sounds crazy. |
| 00:37:34 |
I really think I need to do this. |
| 00:37:40 |
Okay. |
| 00:37:42 |
Build your boat. |
| 00:37:44 |
Just don't take too long, okay? |
| 00:37:47 |
Because we didn't leave our lives in Buffalo |
| 00:37:58 |
(THUDDING) |
| 00:38:12 |
Here we go. |
| 00:38:13 |
Gentlemen, I'm sure you're all wondering |
| 00:38:17 |
An Argentine lake duck has |
| 00:38:19 |
Wow, that's huge. He must be proud. |
| 00:38:22 |
So, I have come up with a little |
| 00:38:26 |
The whole weekend? |
| 00:38:27 |
The whole weekend. Yes! |
| 00:38:29 |
And maybe a couple weekends after that. |
| 00:38:30 |
I can do this. Help! |
| 00:38:33 |
(GRUNTING) |
| 00:38:34 |
How do I stand up with a piece of wood? |
| 00:38:37 |
(JUST LIKE NOAH'S ARK PLAYING) |
| 00:38:38 |
Oh, man. Okay, that's good. |
| 00:38:40 |
(GROANING) |
| 00:38:42 |
Mother! Father! Sister! Brother! Wow! |
| 00:38:45 |
EVAN: Keep it straight. |
| 00:38:48 |
(GRUNTING) |
| 00:38:50 |
Hey, Dad, he's back! |
| 00:38:52 |
Ryan, no, don't do... |
| 00:38:54 |
Ow! |
| 00:38:56 |
Leverage it up! Leverage. Okay. |
| 00:38:59 |
Just put some leverage. |
| 00:39:01 |
Ready? One, two, three. Come on. |
| 00:39:03 |
(WOOD SNAPPING) |
| 00:39:04 |
(EXCLAIMING) |
| 00:39:06 |
(THUDDING) |
| 00:39:07 |
Oh, I'm an idiot. |
| 00:39:08 |
"Nice to meet you, Mr. Congressman. |
| 00:39:12 |
"Well, I'm building an ark." |
| 00:39:15 |
(GROANING) |
| 00:39:16 |
I got a boo-boo! I got a boo-boo! |
| 00:39:26 |
You ever hear of Home Depot? |
| 00:39:31 |
(SCATTING) |
| 00:39:32 |
(THUDDING) |
| 00:39:34 |
(GRUNTING) |
| 00:39:35 |
(GROANING) |
| 00:39:41 |
All right. So our little Marlboro Man |
| 00:39:45 |
It's a disaster. I don't know |
| 00:39:48 |
That's easy. Just don't. |
| 00:39:49 |
(EXCLAIMING IN PAIN) |
| 00:39:54 |
Wow. |
| 00:39:55 |
(PHONE RINGING) |
| 00:39:56 |
Hello. |
| 00:39:58 |
Yes, Marty. Your fearless leader is right here. |
| 00:40:02 |
Hey, Marty, what's up? |
| 00:40:13 |
Yes, I'll tell him. Thank you. |
| 00:40:18 |
I might need security. Thank you. |
| 00:40:23 |
Can I help you? |
| 00:40:25 |
Rita, it's me. |
| 00:40:27 |
Why do you sound like Evan Baxter, |
| 00:40:30 |
Okay. All right. |
| 00:40:32 |
Okay, that's great. It's longer. |
| 00:40:35 |
Oh, my God. It is you. |
| 00:40:39 |
Evan, what happened? |
| 00:40:41 |
Did you fall in a mine shaft? |
| 00:40:42 |
No. |
| 00:40:43 |
Did you just come out of a coma? |
| 00:40:44 |
No. |
| 00:40:45 |
Were you attacked by a werewolf? |
| 00:40:47 |
No, I wasn't. |
| 00:40:49 |
Well, if you were going for that rugged look, |
| 00:40:52 |
You look like a bum in a suit. |
| 00:40:53 |
You need Super cuts and a shave. |
| 00:40:56 |
(EXCLAIMING) |
| 00:40:57 |
Right! Yeah. But I can't. It doesn't work. |
| 00:40:59 |
What do you mean, it doesn't work? |
| 00:41:01 |
It doesn't work! |
| 00:41:02 |
What? Are you shooting up Rogaine? |
| 00:41:04 |
Rita, if Evan shows up... I'm sorry, sir. |
| 00:41:09 |
Evan? |
| 00:41:10 |
Okay, yeah, to answer any questions |
| 00:41:12 |
I am going through adult puberty! |
| 00:41:14 |
This is all temporary. |
| 00:41:17 |
What was so important? |
| 00:41:18 |
What is so important? |
| 00:41:20 |
I've got a letter of intent here |
| 00:41:23 |
You remember that, don't you? |
| 00:41:24 |
Well, you haven't been here and now |
| 00:41:27 |
No, I can't do that. Nope, nope, nope. |
| 00:41:29 |
No. You can't do that. |
| 00:41:32 |
I can't shave, Marty. |
| 00:41:35 |
That happens when you shave! |
| 00:41:38 |
You have no idea. |
| 00:41:39 |
Evan, what is going on? |
| 00:41:42 |
I'm... |
| 00:41:48 |
Building something. |
| 00:41:51 |
MARTY: You're building something? |
| 00:41:53 |
Well, I hope it's a barber shop. |
| 00:41:55 |
Guys, I can't let Long see me |
| 00:41:58 |
You're gonna have to tell him I'm sick. |
| 00:42:02 |
(DOOR CLOSING) |
| 00:42:04 |
Come on, Evan, be reasonable. |
| 00:42:07 |
I need your face back. I need you back. |
| 00:42:09 |
Can you at least tell me |
| 00:42:11 |
I'm building a boat. |
| 00:42:13 |
Look, you got to cover for me. |
| 00:42:16 |
Congressman! There you are! |
| 00:42:18 |
Congressman Long, I, I, I, I... |
| 00:42:20 |
Stop stammering, son. |
| 00:42:23 |
I'm not gonna turn you in to the principal. |
| 00:42:27 |
(LAUGHING) |
| 00:42:28 |
Very good. |
| 00:42:30 |
What's with the veil? |
| 00:42:32 |
No, no. No. That's hilarious, though. |
| 00:42:36 |
Would you drop that thing, son? |
| 00:42:48 |
It's a wife thing, sir. |
| 00:42:50 |
Just trying to spice up the love life. |
| 00:42:52 |
She's a big Loggins and Messina fan. |
| 00:42:55 |
Keeping it fresh. Keeping it real. |
| 00:42:57 |
Would you excuse us for a moment? |
| 00:43:00 |
The Congressman and I are going to |
| 00:43:06 |
Come on. |
| 00:43:08 |
Nice, isn't it? Politics is dog-eat-dog, |
| 00:43:10 |
but if you survive, they give you |
| 00:43:13 |
So, tell me, Congressman, |
| 00:43:17 |
No, sir. |
| 00:43:18 |
Oh, come on, son. I hand you |
| 00:43:21 |
and when you finally show up |
| 00:43:24 |
Now, you expect me to believe |
| 00:43:26 |
Well, sir, actually, things have been |
| 00:43:29 |
Of course they are. I get it. |
| 00:43:34 |
The Argentine lake duck has a penis |
| 00:43:39 |
Although you probably already know that. |
| 00:43:43 |
You ever heard of the Arctic white wolf? |
| 00:43:45 |
No, sir. |
| 00:43:46 |
Top of the food chain. |
| 00:43:48 |
It's fast, it's smart, can fend for itself, |
| 00:43:50 |
It chooses to run with a pack. |
| 00:43:52 |
And do you know why? |
| 00:43:53 |
No. |
| 00:43:54 |
The Arctic white wolf, |
| 00:43:57 |
that it is stronger as part of a group. |
| 00:43:59 |
Do you know what happens when one of |
| 00:44:02 |
The pack kills the loner |
| 00:44:05 |
Ouch, that hurts. |
| 00:44:06 |
Are you familiar with Jim Jenkins, |
| 00:44:10 |
When I met Congressman Jenkins, |
| 00:44:13 |
but now he's sitting on his own committee. |
| 00:44:15 |
Congressman Jenkins, Congressman |
| 00:44:19 |
they all have committee chairs |
| 00:44:22 |
Now, you have to come to a decision. |
| 00:44:25 |
Are you gonna run with the pack |
| 00:44:27 |
I am a pack man, sir. |
| 00:44:29 |
Good. I'm introducing the CINPLAN bill |
| 00:44:33 |
I want your full support and nothing else. |
| 00:44:35 |
Yes, sir. |
| 00:44:38 |
Those fish are on you like bait on a hook. |
| 00:44:42 |
Birds follow you. |
| 00:44:44 |
Fish follow you. |
| 00:44:50 |
Let's see if we can get |
| 00:44:53 |
Let's get this bill passed, |
| 00:44:55 |
Yes, sir. |
| 00:44:58 |
Hey, fleabag, out of the way. |
| 00:45:00 |
Hey, Dad, I think there are more |
| 00:45:02 |
Well, let's not keep |
| 00:45:05 |
(MOOING) |
| 00:45:06 |
(SNORTING) |
| 00:45:07 |
Up, up. Push it up. Push it. |
| 00:45:12 |
Come on. Just let it go, just let it go. |
| 00:45:19 |
Dad, we can do this, |
| 00:45:21 |
I know. We just need something |
| 00:45:24 |
(SIGHING) |
| 00:45:27 |
Like that? |
| 00:45:28 |
RYAN: Holy moly! |
| 00:45:30 |
(RYAN CHUCKLING) |
| 00:45:31 |
RYAN: This is so totally awesome! |
| 00:45:34 |
JORDAN: This is perfect. |
| 00:45:35 |
DYLAN: Dad, there's a note. |
| 00:45:43 |
Let me see that. |
| 00:45:47 |
How does it work? |
| 00:45:56 |
RYAN: Dad, this is really weird. |
| 00:45:58 |
Repeat after me, "We are hamsters!" |
| 00:46:01 |
BOTH: We are hamsters! |
| 00:46:02 |
Leg power! |
| 00:46:04 |
BOTH: Leg power! |
| 00:46:06 |
And it's in! |
| 00:46:07 |
(WHOOPING) |
| 00:46:08 |
That's it. |
| 00:46:10 |
(REVOLUTION PLAYING) |
| 00:46:12 |
Hey, who has opposable thumbs? Anybody? |
| 00:46:19 |
You want to try this one? |
| 00:46:23 |
RYAN: This is awesome! |
| 00:46:24 |
EVAN: Here we go. |
| 00:46:27 |
Yeah. Gotta do the dance. |
| 00:46:31 |
We're doing the dance. |
| 00:46:33 |
EVAN: Come on, do the dance. |
| 00:46:36 |
(EXCLAIMS) |
| 00:46:38 |
Ow! |
| 00:46:39 |
(CHATTERING) |
| 00:46:40 |
Don't scratch! |
| 00:46:41 |
Stop it. Come here. |
| 00:46:42 |
EVAN: Insult to injury! My! |
| 00:46:46 |
Good boy. |
| 00:46:47 |
Okay, guys. A little bit more. |
| 00:46:48 |
Here we go. I got it. Keep it... That's it! |
| 00:46:52 |
Beautiful! |
| 00:46:53 |
(DOG BARKING) |
| 00:46:55 |
(BIRDS CHIRPING) |
| 00:46:58 |
EVAN: You guys all right? |
| 00:47:00 |
BOYS: Yup. |
| 00:47:15 |
(READING) |
| 00:47:18 |
"G." |
| 00:47:32 |
(EVAN MUMBLING) |
| 00:47:34 |
Mmm, mmm, mmm. |
| 00:47:39 |
Well, I hope this isn't our last supper. |
| 00:47:42 |
(CHUCKLING) |
| 00:47:44 |
so this dry, hot weather will continue. |
| 00:47:47 |
GOD: Until September 22, midday. |
| 00:47:50 |
If the ark isn't finished by then, you will be. |
| 00:47:53 |
Is that when it's going to happen? |
| 00:47:57 |
MAN OVER TV: High temperatures tomorrow |
| 00:47:59 |
right on through Tuesday |
| 00:48:00 |
and the next seven days, |
| 00:48:04 |
That would be a good day to have chicken. |
| 00:48:08 |
Hon, could we have some more chicken |
| 00:48:12 |
Boys, will you excuse us, please? |
| 00:48:16 |
Busted. |
| 00:48:18 |
RYAN: Dad, you're busted. |
| 00:48:19 |
Yeah, I know. |
| 00:48:22 |
What are you doing? |
| 00:48:23 |
Do we have anything unleavened? |
| 00:48:25 |
Yeah, we do, it's in the back, |
| 00:48:28 |
We have a fancy name for it in this century, |
| 00:48:32 |
Got it. |
| 00:48:33 |
Evan, what is happening to you? |
| 00:48:36 |
Don't! No! Just put it down! Look at you. |
| 00:48:40 |
The hair. Are you on something? |
| 00:48:47 |
Evan, talk to me. |
| 00:48:52 |
(SIGHING) |
| 00:48:57 |
I'm building an ark. |
| 00:49:00 |
What does that mean? |
| 00:49:04 |
God appeared to me |
| 00:49:08 |
He said there was going to be a flood |
| 00:49:12 |
Whenever I shave, |
| 00:49:14 |
My hair grows longer every day. |
| 00:49:19 |
He thought it would be funny. |
| 00:49:22 |
I actually think it's really comfortable. |
| 00:49:28 |
The beard, the robe. |
| 00:49:32 |
You're Noah? |
| 00:49:35 |
Yeah, kind of. |
| 00:49:37 |
Mom! |
| 00:49:38 |
Not now, Noah! |
| 00:49:41 |
Dylan. |
| 00:49:42 |
Okay. |
| 00:49:46 |
We left everything behind to come here. |
| 00:49:50 |
Maybe that's put too much pressure on you. |
| 00:49:54 |
But this has got to stop. |
| 00:49:58 |
The boys need their father back, |
| 00:50:09 |
(SIGHING) |
| 00:50:13 |
(SHARP DRESSED MAN PLAYING) |
| 00:50:20 |
Yes. Successful. Powerful. |
| 00:50:23 |
Successful. Powerful. Handsome. Happy. |
| 00:50:36 |
Good morning! |
| 00:50:42 |
Cold today, huh? |
| 00:50:43 |
Hmm? |
| 00:50:47 |
(EXCLAIMS) |
| 00:50:55 |
"Back to work"? |
| 00:51:00 |
Okay. All right. You want me |
| 00:51:07 |
Two can play this game. |
| 00:51:18 |
Ha, ha, ha! |
| 00:51:21 |
Piece de resistance. |
| 00:51:24 |
The student has become the teacher. |
| 00:51:30 |
(HAMMER BANGING) |
| 00:51:31 |
This meeting will come to order. |
| 00:51:33 |
Rita, any sign of him? |
| 00:51:34 |
Marty, I told you, |
| 00:51:37 |
You know what? You got me. He's here. |
| 00:51:40 |
Rita, this is no time for jokes. |
| 00:51:42 |
If he's not in that meeting, |
| 00:51:44 |
Wait a minute. |
| 00:51:52 |
Marty! Sorry I'm late. Come on, let's go. |
| 00:51:55 |
What is that? |
| 00:51:58 |
Making lemonade out of lemons. |
| 00:52:01 |
LONG: At its heart, |
| 00:52:05 |
to lands they technically already own. |
| 00:52:07 |
CONGRESSPERSON: |
| 00:52:08 |
Oh, look, there he is. |
| 00:52:10 |
Yup, yup, I see him. |
| 00:52:11 |
Access is just a word you're using |
| 00:52:15 |
This is about development, |
| 00:52:17 |
Evan, what are you doing? |
| 00:52:23 |
What you gonna do next? |
| 00:52:25 |
Development means |
| 00:52:28 |
an increase in domestic commerce. |
| 00:52:32 |
I invite you to join myself and |
| 00:52:38 |
Congressman Hughes |
| 00:52:41 |
and Congressman Baxter. |
| 00:52:46 |
(PEOPLE GASPING) |
| 00:52:47 |
(ALL MURMURING) |
| 00:52:56 |
(GASPING) |
| 00:53:02 |
(PEOPLE LAUGHING) |
| 00:53:04 |
Did you just do a wardrobe change? |
| 00:53:06 |
What do you think this is, the Oscars? |
| 00:53:10 |
(HAMMER SLAMMING) |
| 00:53:11 |
LONG: Ladies and gentlemen! Please! |
| 00:53:13 |
(HAMMER SLAMMING) |
| 00:53:14 |
Please! Congressman Baxter has a tendency |
| 00:53:18 |
in his support of this bill. |
| 00:53:21 |
you are approximately 10 seconds away |
| 00:53:25 |
Oh, no. Hey, would anyone mind |
| 00:53:37 |
(WOMAN SCREAMING) |
| 00:53:40 |
(ROARING) |
| 00:53:42 |
(PEOPLE SCREAMING) |
| 00:53:44 |
(GROWLING) |
| 00:53:56 |
(HAMMER SLAMMING) |
| 00:53:57 |
LONG: Ladies and gentlemen! Please! |
| 00:54:02 |
I've seen this circus act before! |
| 00:54:04 |
Congressman, I'm sure St. Francis |
| 00:54:07 |
We, however, are not. |
| 00:54:10 |
You march yourself and your |
| 00:54:13 |
or you will be forcibly removed. |
| 00:54:15 |
I'm afraid I can't do that, sir. |
| 00:54:17 |
Congressman! |
| 00:54:19 |
These animals are not trained. |
| 00:54:21 |
Congressman! |
| 00:54:23 |
I think they want me to save them! |
| 00:54:25 |
Save them from what, Congressman? |
| 00:54:27 |
Saving the animals, okay. |
| 00:54:39 |
The flood. |
| 00:54:40 |
A flood? Rolling out. |
| 00:54:43 |
CONGRESSPERSON: The flood. |
| 00:54:44 |
This has been the hottest, |
| 00:54:47 |
and you say we're going to have a flood? |
| 00:54:48 |
When might we expect this? |
| 00:54:50 |
September 22, midday. |
| 00:54:52 |
(CROWD CHATTERING) |
| 00:54:56 |
That's what I was told. |
| 00:54:57 |
Might I ask who told you? |
| 00:55:06 |
Not in front of all those people. |
| 00:55:15 |
God. |
| 00:55:17 |
(SOBBING) |
| 00:55:21 |
God? You talk to God? |
| 00:55:25 |
Yes. |
| 00:55:26 |
LONG: And God is talking back? |
| 00:55:29 |
Yeah. We hung out a little. |
| 00:55:31 |
Well, time to update the resume. |
| 00:55:33 |
Congressman, your name is being |
| 00:55:36 |
Obviously, the stresses of this office |
| 00:55:39 |
Please have the congressman removed. |
| 00:55:41 |
No. Please! You don't understand! |
| 00:55:43 |
God commanded me to build an ark! |
| 00:55:46 |
It's going to rain! |
| 00:55:50 |
Remove him now! |
| 00:55:51 |
We have to prepare ourselves! |
| 00:55:54 |
I need to finish the ark! |
| 00:55:56 |
(HAMMER SLAMMING) |
| 00:55:58 |
Remove him now! |
| 00:56:06 |
Does this mean we're moving back home? |
| 00:56:09 |
Home, Canada. One or the other. |
| 00:56:22 |
Joan? I know you probably saw |
| 00:56:32 |
Take the stuff to the car, guys. |
| 00:56:37 |
Guys? |
| 00:56:40 |
(DOOR OPENING) |
| 00:56:42 |
I'm gonna take them to my mother's. |
| 00:56:48 |
Joan, please. I'm not doing this. |
| 00:56:52 |
I went to that meeting in a suit, |
| 00:56:56 |
Those animals are following me |
| 00:57:00 |
God? Does God know |
| 00:57:03 |
Does God know he's going to get you fired? |
| 00:57:06 |
Yeah! He's trying to get me fired! |
| 00:57:09 |
He is trying to get me fired! |
| 00:57:12 |
That way I'll have more time |
| 00:57:14 |
Because the rain and the floods are coming. |
| 00:57:17 |
No, I heard you, Evan. |
| 00:57:20 |
Joan, please, you gotta believe me. |
| 00:57:23 |
(DRIZZLING) |
| 00:57:25 |
There it is! It's happening! |
| 00:57:47 |
Goodbye, Evan. |
| 00:57:51 |
(ENGINE STARTING) |
| 00:57:52 |
Joan! |
| 00:58:02 |
I know! I know. Whatever you do, |
| 00:58:15 |
Do me a favor. Love me less. |
| 00:58:19 |
REPORTER: Congressman! |
| 00:58:20 |
WOMAN: Are you concerned at all |
| 00:58:23 |
and the adverse effects |
| 00:58:25 |
The day it rains and floods and |
| 00:58:29 |
that'll be the day |
| 00:58:31 |
(WAITING ON THE WORLD |
| 00:58:35 |
(BLEATING) |
| 00:58:36 |
His name is Evan Baxter, |
| 00:58:40 |
"Heaven's Evan," |
| 00:58:49 |
Okay, guys. Watch it. Watch it. |
| 00:58:54 |
Marty, will you comment on Congressman |
| 00:58:58 |
Yes, his hair is long. |
| 00:59:02 |
Are you equally stunned |
| 00:59:11 |
The way things go around here, |
| 00:59:12 |
if he gets any crazier, |
| 00:59:15 |
(REPORTER SPEAKING SPANISH) |
| 00:59:21 |
Hey! No, no, no! That's my cup! |
| 00:59:25 |
Whatever. |
| 00:59:47 |
He's filling the boat with |
| 00:59:51 |
Still to be collected, |
| 00:59:55 |
and one more jackass. |
| 01:00:00 |
What an idiot. |
| 01:00:01 |
He's a mook. |
| 01:00:03 |
Jerks. |
| 01:00:05 |
Don't worry about it, you guys. |
| 01:00:08 |
Not hungry. |
| 01:00:09 |
Yeah, me neither. |
| 01:00:10 |
You guys can't eat. I can't stop. |
| 01:00:12 |
Can I go to the bathroom? |
| 01:00:14 |
Okay. Dylan, go with them. Please? |
| 01:00:17 |
Fine. |
| 01:00:21 |
Excuse me. Can I get a refill, please? |
| 01:00:24 |
Coming right up. |
| 01:00:26 |
Thank you. |
| 01:00:27 |
Excuse me. Are you all right? |
| 01:00:29 |
Yeah. |
| 01:00:32 |
No. It's a long story. |
| 01:00:35 |
Well, I like stories. |
| 01:00:37 |
I'm considered a bit of a storyteller myself. |
| 01:00:41 |
My husband... |
| 01:00:45 |
The guy who's building the ark. |
| 01:00:47 |
That's him. |
| 01:00:49 |
I love that story, Noah and the Ark. |
| 01:00:52 |
You know, a lot of people miss |
| 01:00:53 |
They think it's about God's wrath and anger. |
| 01:00:56 |
They love it when God gets angry. |
| 01:00:58 |
What is the story about, then? The ark? |
| 01:01:01 |
Well, I think it's a love story |
| 01:01:06 |
You know, the animals showed up in pairs. |
| 01:01:12 |
just like Noah and his family. |
| 01:01:17 |
But my husband says God told him to do it. |
| 01:01:22 |
What do you do with that? |
| 01:01:24 |
Sounds like an opportunity. |
| 01:01:29 |
Let me ask you something. |
| 01:01:31 |
If someone prays for patience, |
| 01:01:35 |
Or does he give them |
| 01:01:40 |
If they pray for courage, |
| 01:01:42 |
or does he give them opportunities |
| 01:01:47 |
If someone prayed |
| 01:01:50 |
you think God zaps them |
| 01:01:54 |
Or does he give them opportunities |
| 01:01:58 |
(GASPS QUIETLY) |
| 01:02:00 |
Well, I got to run. |
| 01:02:11 |
JON: Guess this comes as no surprise to |
| 01:02:14 |
"I will lower taxes, |
| 01:02:16 |
"go crazy and build a gigantic ark." |
| 01:02:18 |
(PEOPLE LAUGHING) |
| 01:02:26 |
JOAN: Oh, my gosh. |
| 01:02:33 |
JOAN: Evan! |
| 01:02:34 |
Dad? |
| 01:02:35 |
Honey! |
| 01:02:36 |
Dad? |
| 01:02:37 |
You guys, I'm up here. |
| 01:02:55 |
(LAUGHING) |
| 01:02:56 |
Rough week? |
| 01:02:59 |
You look really old. |
| 01:03:00 |
Yeah, well, he is really old. |
| 01:03:04 |
Why'd you come back? |
| 01:03:05 |
It was the kids. |
| 01:03:06 |
Tell him, guys. |
| 01:03:07 |
We like you better as the crazy guy. |
| 01:03:09 |
You spend time with us |
| 01:03:12 |
Just, please don't make us do |
| 01:03:32 |
(SIGHING) |
| 01:03:36 |
I don't know what's going on, |
| 01:03:41 |
but we got into this as a family |
| 01:03:44 |
and we're gonna get out of it as a family, |
| 01:03:48 |
side by side. |
| 01:03:57 |
But, Evan, we have to talk about the ark. |
| 01:04:00 |
I can't do that. |
| 01:04:02 |
You don't have a choice. |
| 01:04:04 |
JOAN: Congressman Long went to the city. |
| 01:04:07 |
You have until September 22 |
| 01:04:10 |
or they'll take it down and arrest you. |
| 01:04:12 |
September 22. That's the day of the flood. |
| 01:04:14 |
Mom! Dad! Come here! |
| 01:04:22 |
(ANIMALS CALLING) |
| 01:04:40 |
Don't you dare take that ark down. |
| 01:04:45 |
How are we gonna do this? |
| 01:04:47 |
There's no way the five |
| 01:04:50 |
We don't have money to hire anybody else. |
| 01:04:52 |
(ALPACA CRYING) |
| 01:04:57 |
Is that a llama with a hammer? |
| 01:04:59 |
An alpaca. They rarely spit at people |
| 01:05:05 |
Let's finish this sucker. |
| 01:05:08 |
(READY FOR A MIRACLE PLAYING) |
| 01:05:10 |
(ELEPHANT TRUMPETING) |
| 01:05:11 |
Come on, let's go. |
| 01:05:13 |
WOMAN: No one knows |
| 01:05:14 |
or how the congressman |
| 01:05:16 |
but, two by two, animals of all kinds |
| 01:05:22 |
Thank you. |
| 01:05:24 |
If this flood really does happen, |
| 01:05:28 |
Hey! A little help? |
| 01:05:34 |
Thanks. |
| 01:05:36 |
JOAN: Here it is, hon. |
| 01:05:38 |
(MONKEY GIBBERING) |
| 01:05:39 |
Perfect. Thanks. |
| 01:05:45 |
Hold it right there. |
| 01:05:47 |
This is Ed Carson coming to you |
| 01:05:51 |
where we are unable to leave the news van |
| 01:05:59 |
High five. |
| 01:06:00 |
Good job. |
| 01:06:02 |
Hey, putty tat. |
| 01:06:06 |
(SHRIEKING) |
| 01:06:07 |
Go, go, go! He tried to eat me! |
| 01:06:10 |
Dylan! Jordan! Check it out! |
| 01:06:13 |
Let's do the dance. |
| 01:06:15 |
JOAN: No, please, no. |
| 01:06:18 |
(HONKING) |
| 01:06:19 |
WOMAN 1: Well, where did |
| 01:06:21 |
WOMAN 2: Please. It's a trick. |
| 01:06:23 |
WOMAN 3: It's a circus is what it is. |
| 01:06:24 |
Wild animals running amok |
| 01:06:27 |
With all these species, |
| 01:06:37 |
Evan Baxter! You have gone from newsman |
| 01:06:42 |
What makes you so sure God chose you? |
| 01:06:46 |
He chose all of us. |
| 01:06:57 |
Time to wash up, you guys. |
| 01:07:06 |
Thanks. |
| 01:07:10 |
You want some? |
| 01:07:32 |
RITA: Why couldn't the man |
| 01:07:35 |
Well, well, well. There they are. |
| 01:07:40 |
It's good to see you! Your hair looks great. |
| 01:07:45 |
And you're still sucking up. |
| 01:07:46 |
So, why are you here? |
| 01:07:47 |
Long locked us out. |
| 01:07:49 |
He can't do that. |
| 01:07:50 |
I mean, I've been suspended, |
| 01:07:52 |
Rita, tell him what you know. |
| 01:07:53 |
Tell me what? |
| 01:07:54 |
I smelled a rat the second we got that office. |
| 01:07:57 |
You don't get an office |
| 01:07:59 |
So I had the stalker here do some research. |
| 01:08:02 |
Okay, Eugene, talk. |
| 01:08:04 |
Prestige Crest used to be federal lands, |
| 01:08:06 |
but what's interesting is |
| 01:08:09 |
Congressman Long got the approval |
| 01:08:11 |
and then passed out the surrounding lands |
| 01:08:14 |
Now, the locals fought this thing for years. |
| 01:08:16 |
They said Long and his developer buddies |
| 01:08:18 |
like skipping important |
| 01:08:20 |
And with the land use bill, he's gonna do |
| 01:08:24 |
So, you stand by and shake your pom-poms |
| 01:08:27 |
What can we do? I'm suspended. |
| 01:08:30 |
Go back to the Hill and show them |
| 01:08:33 |
You guys, I'm sorry. I can't do that. |
| 01:08:36 |
The ark? All right. Okay. |
| 01:08:38 |
God told you to build an ark? |
| 01:08:40 |
But did he tell you to make your friends |
| 01:08:43 |
so you can make us look stupid? |
| 01:08:47 |
Okay, every other Sunday. |
| 01:08:50 |
I've been to church! |
| 01:08:53 |
Rita, I know that this |
| 01:08:56 |
I just want you to trust me. |
| 01:08:58 |
Evan, faith will not fight this bill. |
| 01:09:03 |
If we're going to stop this thing, |
| 01:09:07 |
Otherwise, it's impossible! |
| 01:09:08 |
Dad, Dad, I think it's done. |
| 01:10:10 |
What in the world? |
| 01:10:55 |
It's September 22, and we're all still here. |
| 01:11:00 |
Awkward! |
| 01:11:01 |
People! The flood is imminent! |
| 01:11:05 |
Board the ark! Save yourselves! |
| 01:11:09 |
MAN: Get down, you fool! |
| 01:11:11 |
Listen to me! The time has come! |
| 01:11:15 |
No, Captain Ahab! Your time has come! |
| 01:11:19 |
(ALL LAUGHING) |
| 01:11:20 |
Yeah, Baxter! The weather's 70 and sunny |
| 01:11:25 |
(ALL GIGGLING) |
| 01:11:28 |
(RUMBLING) |
| 01:11:30 |
Do you hear that? The rains are upon us! |
| 01:11:34 |
Dad, I don't think that's the rains. |
| 01:11:37 |
(SIREN BLARING) |
| 01:11:41 |
MAN: Hey, Baxter! Kiss your ark goodbye! |
| 01:11:56 |
Where is he? |
| 01:11:57 |
On the boat, sir. |
| 01:11:59 |
Give me a minute. |
| 01:12:01 |
that the world doesn't have to end today. |
| 01:12:07 |
I gotta hand it to you, |
| 01:12:10 |
According to my source, |
| 01:12:13 |
Still expecting the big flood. |
| 01:12:15 |
You know, voters don't respond |
| 01:12:17 |
They like a more positive message. |
| 01:12:19 |
Like the one you're sending with your bill? |
| 01:12:20 |
How much did you make off of all this land? |
| 01:12:23 |
You are destroying |
| 01:12:26 |
You have a problem with somebody |
| 01:12:28 |
It's called business, son. |
| 01:12:29 |
So if I need to get a message out there, |
| 01:12:32 |
there are people who pay for it, and yes, |
| 01:12:36 |
and, by God, it's gonna happen. |
| 01:12:41 |
Those are the wolves, son. |
| 01:12:43 |
I'm gonna give you one last chance. |
| 01:12:46 |
I'm giving you one last chance. Repent. |
| 01:12:51 |
Such a shame. You had possibilities. |
| 01:12:55 |
But you want to stop progress |
| 01:12:59 |
Good luck getting a tree |
| 01:13:07 |
Take it down. |
| 01:13:15 |
This is a court order approving |
| 01:13:19 |
Evacuate immediately! |
| 01:13:24 |
Honey. We have to go. |
| 01:13:29 |
No. |
| 01:13:32 |
It can't end this way. |
| 01:13:35 |
Is it too much to ask |
| 01:13:40 |
Honey, maybe God didn't mean |
| 01:13:44 |
Maybe he meant a flood of knowledge |
| 01:13:49 |
If that's true, |
| 01:13:52 |
I am going to be so pissed. |
| 01:13:55 |
Two minutes! |
| 01:13:56 |
Get off the boat now |
| 01:14:00 |
Evan, you did it. You built the ark. |
| 01:14:04 |
That's all you were asked to do, right? |
| 01:14:05 |
No. |
| 01:14:07 |
There's something else. |
| 01:14:11 |
Yeah, what's gonna happen is |
| 01:14:14 |
Evan, think of the kids. |
| 01:14:17 |
One minute! |
| 01:14:20 |
Dad, whatever you say, I'm with you. |
| 01:14:23 |
Yeah, me, too. |
| 01:14:24 |
Me, too. But can we keep |
| 01:14:26 |
I like the alpaca. He spits. |
| 01:14:33 |
You're right. We did it. We built the boat. |
| 01:14:37 |
Yeah. |
| 01:14:39 |
Let's go. Let's go, guys. Come on. |
| 01:14:54 |
EVAN: Well, I guess they don't want to go. |
| 01:14:56 |
It's their instinct. |
| 01:14:58 |
What do you mean, hon? |
| 01:14:59 |
Some animals know when weather's coming. |
| 01:15:10 |
(THUNDER RUMBLING) |
| 01:15:12 |
Joan! |
| 01:15:17 |
(THUNDER CLAPPING) |
| 01:15:23 |
Okay. Time's up! We're coming in! |
| 01:15:25 |
Get that ball in position! |
| 01:15:35 |
(PEOPLE CHATTERING) |
| 01:15:39 |
Is that rain? |
| 01:15:43 |
Lucky guess, Baxter. Lucky guess. |
| 01:15:47 |
(THUNDER CLAPPING) |
| 01:16:04 |
Looks like the drought's finally over. |
| 01:16:06 |
Yeah. Good news. |
| 01:16:11 |
Everybody! Please! Get on the ark! |
| 01:16:18 |
Go to the car! |
| 01:16:20 |
Please! Everyone! On the ark! |
| 01:16:24 |
Cover me up! Keep me dry! |
| 01:16:28 |
Who's crazy now, huh? |
| 01:16:40 |
It kind of stopped raining. |
| 01:16:41 |
Is that it? |
| 01:16:43 |
What did I tell you? It's fine. It's over. |
| 01:16:45 |
Hey, Ahab! This is it? |
| 01:16:48 |
Your God experiencing |
| 01:16:50 |
(ALL LAUGHING) |
| 01:16:52 |
It would appear Evan Baxter |
| 01:16:55 |
with a slight miscalculation |
| 01:17:03 |
Something's wrong. |
| 01:17:04 |
Honey, the clouds are moving away. |
| 01:17:06 |
No, no. No, this isn't right. |
| 01:17:10 |
Evan, even if it kept raining, |
| 01:17:13 |
But today is the day! It has to be. |
| 01:17:21 |
Wait a second. |
| 01:17:22 |
What is it? |
| 01:17:23 |
Marty said that Long cut corners, |
| 01:17:27 |
What are you talking about? |
| 01:17:28 |
The lake, Long Lake. |
| 01:17:29 |
It's named after him. |
| 01:17:46 |
Oh, no. |
| 01:17:50 |
Get on the ark! Everyone, on the ark now! |
| 01:17:54 |
I think we should get on the ark. |
| 01:17:56 |
I agree. I think we should get on the ark also. |
| 01:17:59 |
I'm cold. I'm wet. I'm going home. |
| 01:18:10 |
Ladies first! Move! |
| 01:18:20 |
Oh, my God. This is happening. |
| 01:18:25 |
Holy... Get everyone on the ark now! |
| 01:18:28 |
Get on the ark now! Let's go! |
| 01:18:31 |
Go, go, go! Get on the ark! |
| 01:18:34 |
(ALL SCREAMING) |
| 01:18:35 |
Go, go, go! On the ark! Go, go, go! |
| 01:18:39 |
All right, boys! Let's go! Let's go! |
| 01:18:42 |
We're gonna need a bigger boat. |
| 01:18:55 |
Come on, Rita! |
| 01:18:57 |
Everyone, up the ramp! Onto the deck! |
| 01:19:01 |
Dylan, get back inside! It's too dangerous. |
| 01:19:03 |
No, Dad. I told you, I'm with you. |
| 01:19:09 |
EVAN: Careful, everyone. |
| 01:19:12 |
Watch your step! Up the ramp, everybody! |
| 01:19:22 |
Guys, help me with the door! |
| 01:19:23 |
Get the door! Get the door! |
| 01:19:32 |
(ALL SCREAMING) |
| 01:20:07 |
Guys! Guys! |
| 01:20:42 |
Everybody hang on! |
| 01:20:54 |
(ROARING) |
| 01:20:55 |
You guys all right? You okay? |
| 01:20:58 |
MAN OVER TV: |
| 01:21:00 |
and you're seeing live images |
| 01:21:02 |
caught in the storm surge |
| 01:21:13 |
WOMAN: We're going to crash! |
| 01:21:14 |
MAN: Turn this thing around! |
| 01:21:16 |
MAN 2: We're not gonna make it! |
| 01:21:17 |
MAN 3: Save us, Baxter! |
| 01:21:30 |
I command thee halt! Stop! Whoa! |
| 01:21:35 |
WOMAN: It's not working! |
| 01:21:37 |
How about a little help here? |
| 01:21:56 |
(SCREAMING) |
| 01:22:24 |
(SCREAMING) |
| 01:22:26 |
What do you mean there was water damage? |
| 01:22:28 |
That is not possible. |
| 01:22:39 |
(EXCLAIMING) |
| 01:22:40 |
I love you guys. |
| 01:22:42 |
Seriously. |
| 01:22:43 |
I love you. |
| 01:22:44 |
(EAGLE CRYING) |
| 01:23:02 |
LONG: All those in favor of the Public Land |
| 01:23:07 |
(CLAMORING) |
| 01:23:13 |
Good God! |
| 01:23:24 |
(ALL YELLING) |
| 01:23:50 |
I think we can walk from here. |
| 01:23:52 |
(SIRENS BLARING) |
| 01:24:10 |
Hello, Congressman. |
| 01:24:15 |
But how... |
| 01:24:16 |
The dam, Congressman. |
| 01:24:18 |
Your reservoir ruptured. |
| 01:24:21 |
No. They said that couldn't happen. |
| 01:24:25 |
I never thought this... |
| 01:24:27 |
You. You did this to me. |
| 01:24:32 |
(MONKEYS SCREECHING) |
| 01:24:36 |
Wow. That is disgusting. |
| 01:24:38 |
If that comes out your front, |
| 01:24:40 |
I don't even want to know |
| 01:24:45 |
(SNARLING) |
| 01:24:47 |
Don't look down, Congressman, |
| 01:24:49 |
although I wouldn't worry so much |
| 01:25:01 |
Gesundheit. |
| 01:25:15 |
MAN 1: As you can see behind me, |
| 01:25:19 |
WOMAN: The vote of the Land Act Bill |
| 01:25:21 |
pending investigation of Congressman Long |
| 01:25:24 |
MAN 2: Of course now, the question is, |
| 01:25:27 |
to their natural habitats? |
| 01:25:29 |
Something tells me, if God got them here, |
| 01:25:33 |
WOMAN 2: The House will undoubtedly |
| 01:25:36 |
when it reconvenes in the morning. |
| 01:25:38 |
Until then, there is a lot to be done |
| 01:25:42 |
JORDAN: How's Buster doing? |
| 01:25:43 |
EVAN: Come on, Buster. |
| 01:25:44 |
JOAN: No, come on. Come on! |
| 01:25:46 |
EVAN: These too heavy? It's all right? |
| 01:25:48 |
RYAN: He can't keep up. |
| 01:25:49 |
I know, sweetie! |
| 01:25:51 |
All right. What do you say |
| 01:25:54 |
We've only been walking |
| 01:25:56 |
Well, five on, five off. |
| 01:25:59 |
How about some sandwiches? |
| 01:26:00 |
Who wants sandwiches? Let's do it! |
| 01:26:02 |
RYAN: I get first dibs! |
| 01:26:03 |
Everyone but Buster |
| 01:26:06 |
You do not get a sandwich! You're a dog |
| 01:26:10 |
Buster is part of the family now. |
| 01:26:13 |
Poor Buster! |
| 01:26:16 |
Honey, come here. |
| 01:26:19 |
Hey, hon, save me one, okay? |
| 01:26:21 |
I'll be right back. |
| 01:26:31 |
Hey. |
| 01:26:34 |
What are you doing here? |
| 01:26:36 |
Just hanging out with some old friends. |
| 01:26:39 |
You knew all along, didn't you? |
| 01:26:42 |
If it hadn't been for the ark, |
| 01:26:46 |
I fought you every step of the way. |
| 01:26:48 |
Yes, but you did it. |
| 01:26:51 |
So, you had nothing to do with the flood? |
| 01:26:56 |
I gave you a little shove at the end. Sue me. |
| 01:26:59 |
(BOTH CHUCKLING) |
| 01:27:02 |
You did good, son. You changed the world. |
| 01:27:05 |
No, no, I didn't. |
| 01:27:07 |
Well, let's see. |
| 01:27:08 |
Spending time with your family, |
| 01:27:12 |
Gave that dog a home. |
| 01:27:14 |
Right. So? |
| 01:27:16 |
So? |
| 01:27:18 |
How do we change the world? |
| 01:27:22 |
One act of random kindness at a time. |
| 01:27:25 |
One act of random kindness. |
| 01:27:30 |
EVAN: Wow. |
| 01:27:35 |
It's time. |
| 01:27:38 |
Do the dance. |
| 01:27:41 |
Care to join me? |
| 01:27:49 |
(CHUCKLING) |
| 01:28:05 |
(DOVE COOING) |
| 01:28:39 |
I now issue a new commandment, |
| 01:28:42 |
"Thou shalt do the dance." |
| 01:28:44 |
(GONNA MAKE YOU SWEAT, |
| 01:29:40 |
(LIP-SYNCING) |
| 01:29:46 |
Stop it! This is stupid! |
| 01:29:50 |
That's awful dancing! You better stop! |
| 01:29:59 |
(LIP-SYNCING) |
| 01:30:26 |
(PEOPLE CHEERING) |
| 01:30:31 |
MAN 1: Ladies and gentlemen, |
| 01:30:33 |
You just have to go. We are wrapped. |
| 01:30:36 |
MAN 2: We're wrapped. |
| 01:30:40 |
(READY FOR A MIRACLE PLAYING) |
