|
Bruno
|
| 00:00:01 |
Subs made by: - MISTER CERBERUS - |
| 00:00:56 |
What's up? |
| 00:00:59 |
I am in Austrias coldest city, |
| 00:01:03 |
No big deal, what ever ... |
| 00:01:06 |
I'm the host of "Funky time" the most important |
| 00:01:13 |
Apart from Germany. |
| 00:01:20 |
"Funky Time" is over influential. |
| 00:01:22 |
In fact the Austrians fashionistas live |
| 00:01:28 |
In Autism, out Chlamydia !! |
| 00:01:32 |
Why is Autism so cool at the moment? |
| 00:01:37 |
Right ... |
| 00:01:39 |
"Funky Time" has interviewed everyone |
| 00:01:45 |
Can you look at the camera and say, |
| 00:01:49 |
You are watching "Funky Time" program |
| 00:01:55 |
Can you do it like even more like a |
| 00:01:59 |
Aah,like this... |
| 00:02:01 |
Your are watching "Funky time with Bruno", |
| 00:02:08 |
Something maybe a bit more crazy, |
| 00:02:12 |
No I don't think so. |
| 00:02:13 |
What about just like one |
| 00:02:17 |
No ... |
| 00:02:19 |
I'm the most exiting and i'm visiting the town. |
| 00:02:24 |
Only for the German girls ... |
| 00:02:32 |
Modeling, a lot of people think it's easy, but |
| 00:02:37 |
It's very hard. |
| 00:02:39 |
Standing on heels all day . |
| 00:02:40 |
And everyone is watching you... |
| 00:02:45 |
Yes it is really very hard to remember when to |
| 00:02:51 |
and then again right, then left again ... |
| 00:02:57 |
And especially the turn it's..it's so scary. |
| 00:03:01 |
Being the hoost of "Funky time", |
| 00:03:09 |
You put on some waight. |
| 00:03:10 |
The kattle is calling the pot black. |
| 00:03:14 |
Hold your shoulders back, this is a |
| 00:03:21 |
My personal assistant, Koukos is my rock. |
| 00:03:24 |
He's also my stylist. |
| 00:03:26 |
These glasses are to much ? |
| 00:03:29 |
They are too much like... hey everybody |
| 00:03:32 |
Everybody likes to say "where are my glasses" |
| 00:03:39 |
I have a second assistant, |
| 00:03:41 |
but i can't remember his name. |
| 00:03:43 |
Bruno has known true love twice in his life. |
| 00:03:47 |
Once for 7 minutes, with Milly |
| 00:03:52 |
But for the last 9 years i was head over heals |
| 00:04:00 |
The jet pilot can operate in private you know. |
| 00:04:03 |
Boring stay at home time !! |
| 00:04:35 |
How much do you want? |
| 00:04:40 |
In September 2008 i went to |
| 00:04:45 |
To shoot a new season of "Funky Time" |
| 00:04:48 |
Bruno had backstage access for |
| 00:04:52 |
"DE LA PRADA" |
| 00:04:53 |
So i wore the jewel of my wardrobe, |
| 00:05:13 |
I'm wearing this, this is a prototype |
| 00:05:18 |
Serious i was looking at it, can i have one? |
| 00:05:23 |
Sorry it's a prototype, it's for one hour. |
| 00:05:30 |
-Well now, listen ... |
| 00:06:01 |
Get me out of this ! |
| 00:06:23 |
Bruno opts out. |
| 00:06:27 |
For the second time in this century, |
| 00:06:33 |
Just because he was brave enough, |
| 00:06:39 |
* Bruno was blacklisted * |
| 00:06:58 |
The first fall... |
| 00:07:01 |
I was Fired from "Funky Time. |
| 00:07:07 |
I realised that night that the fashion wold |
| 00:07:14 |
I decided instead to go to Los Angeles, |
| 00:07:18 |
to become a celebrity. |
| 00:07:21 |
And i was going to bee the biggest |
| 00:07:29 |
I'm not coming with you!! - Why not..? |
| 00:07:36 |
I'm so sorry i humilated you. |
| 00:07:40 |
Babber... i love you. |
| 00:07:42 |
Diesel I Love You !!... Diesel. |
| 00:07:59 |
I will roll with you. |
| 00:08:02 |
Who are you? |
| 00:08:04 |
I am Lutz. |
| 00:08:08 |
Let me come to |
| 00:08:11 |
I'll help you become famous. |
| 00:08:13 |
Why would I need your help; |
| 00:08:18 |
Because I think you're... |
| 00:08:23 |
Will I wake up to you |
| 00:08:27 |
I promise, |
| 00:14:01 |
I booked Paula Abdul |
| 00:14:05 |
How crazy! |
| 00:14:07 |
But where is the furniture? |
| 00:14:09 |
It's gone. |
| 00:14:11 |
I told them to move it out for today |
| 00:14:15 |
Without furniture, |
| 00:14:20 |
Are you trying to ruin me? |
| 00:14:25 |
Wait. |
| 00:15:58 |
Paula's Agent spread the word. |
| 00:16:05 |
What about... |
| 00:16:08 |
He won't come. |
| 00:16:26 |
How can I make a show |
| 00:16:28 |
Don't worry... we have 24 hours, |
| 00:20:52 |
They don't want it. |
| 00:20:58 |
I don't know, how you |
| 00:21:00 |
I'm nothing. |
| 00:21:05 |
No... you're amazing. |
| 00:21:10 |
Lutz, here's a good one. |
| 00:32:37 |
Be careful... |
| 00:32:40 |
Madonna has one. |
| 00:32:41 |
Brangelina has one. |
| 00:32:43 |
And now |
| 00:32:49 |
That is 13 pounds of black gold. |
| 00:32:53 |
Call all of the magazines. |
| 00:32:55 |
We're organizing the best photo |
| 00:32:57 |
It will make me so famous. |
| 00:33:00 |
Yes, I understand. |
| 00:42:53 |
What's all of this? |
| 00:42:56 |
OJ is gone. |
| 00:42:58 |
I'm committing carbicide. |
| 00:43:01 |
You have everything |
| 00:43:05 |
I am so tired. |
| 00:43:10 |
Lutz, you're so strong. |
| 00:43:14 |
You're so light, Mr. Brüno. |
| 00:43:16 |
Just like a feather. |
| 00:43:18 |
You know, I'm only nice to you, |
| 00:43:22 |
Mr. Brüno, your hairbrush is |
| 00:43:27 |
That's not my hairbrush. |
| 00:43:43 |
Where is the key? |
| 00:43:45 |
Call for help. |
| 00:45:50 |
That was the best day |
| 00:45:53 |
It was super, fantastic. |
| 00:45:55 |
Finally, we are together. |
| 00:45:57 |
Are you retarded, Lutz? |
| 00:46:01 |
Last night I was |
| 00:46:03 |
I had no idea, I didn't |
| 00:46:07 |
I was high on |
| 00:46:12 |
I am Brüno. |
| 00:46:14 |
I don't date near nothing-assistants. |
| 00:46:21 |
Nobody loves as much as I love you... |
| 00:46:23 |
And I know, that you love me too. |
| 00:46:26 |
Please accept me. |
| 00:46:37 |
No. |
| 00:46:47 |
Where can you go Lutz? |
| 00:46:49 |
If you leave me, |
| 00:46:52 |
You can't do that anyways. |
| 00:46:58 |
I don't need you anyway, Lutz. |
| 00:47:01 |
I can do well by myself. |
| 00:47:04 |
I am Brüno! |
| 00:47:15 |
It should happen at a low point. |
| 00:47:20 |
Lutz left ... |
| 00:47:37 |
I was about to give up my dream of |
| 00:47:41 |
And suddenly it hit me. |
| 00:47:47 |
All the most famous stars in the |
| 00:47:49 |
Tom Cruise, John Travolta, Kevin Spacy the ... |
| 00:47:54 |
They all have one thing in commmon,.. |
| 00:47:57 |
They were all straight. |
| 00:48:02 |
To become famous I have to quit guys. |
| 00:48:07 |
I just needed to find a |
| 00:48:14 |
Things have got to change. |
| 00:48:17 |
I've thought of becoming straight. |
| 00:48:20 |
One time straight, |
| 00:48:26 |
If it doesn't remind you about some of |
| 00:48:31 |
when you put your lips around it. |
| 00:48:33 |
If it doesn't remind you of that, go for it |
| 00:48:38 |
If it does remind you of that, i say put |
| 00:48:45 |
Until you know in your mind you're ready to pick |
| 00:48:50 |
What if i put a flute up my stinker? |
| 00:48:55 |
I wouldn't do that because it would remind |
| 00:48:59 |
So you don't put any flutes or instuments |
| 00:49:05 |
-You know why? |
| 00:49:06 |
So you don't put any flutes or instuments |
| 00:49:12 |
Well, that would be bad. |
| 00:49:14 |
Is there any music that I shouldn't |
| 00:49:18 |
Sinead O'Connor,The Indigo girls,.. |
| 00:49:22 |
O course the Village People. |
| 00:49:24 |
Then i become stait? |
| 00:49:28 |
Any new hobby's that i should pick up. |
| 00:49:30 |
Do you enjoy hiking? |
| 00:49:32 |
Or lifting weights? - Sure !! |
| 00:49:34 |
There is nothing like working out, |
| 00:49:36 |
and buiding your muscles around some |
| 00:49:50 |
I am totaly irresistible to gay guys. |
| 00:49:53 |
They see me and they want to stuff me. |
| 00:49:55 |
- OK. |
| 00:49:59 |
If they get close to you hit them, |
| 00:50:02 |
How do you spot a homosexual? |
| 00:50:04 |
It's very hard to do, most of them |
| 00:50:10 |
Myself, - It's kind of like.. |
| 00:50:13 |
Terrorists, |
| 00:50:19 |
how would you know it's him? |
| 00:50:20 |
For the obvious things you |
| 00:50:27 |
So if someone approaches you on |
| 00:50:31 |
you know they are homosexual. |
| 00:50:35 |
How should i protect myself from |
| 00:50:40 |
They probebly would attack from behind. |
| 00:50:45 |
Again if i'm a homosexual and i'm just |
| 00:50:51 |
Boom !! |
| 00:50:54 |
Let's say a homosexual has got you |
| 00:50:56 |
What if a homosexual get you down here? |
| 00:51:00 |
Go to pool this down, i will block this |
| 00:51:08 |
How can you protect yourself from a dildo? |
| 00:51:10 |
Lets say i'm trying... |
| 00:51:15 |
Like this. |
| 00:51:16 |
And disarms the dildo? |
| 00:51:20 |
Is it harder to defend |
| 00:51:23 |
No, it's just as easy to defend against. |
| 00:51:28 |
So i'm attacking !!! |
| 00:51:33 |
Trap it, work the knees and elbow... |
| 00:51:38 |
How do you defend yourself from a |
| 00:51:54 |
And if he's running with his pants down? |
| 00:52:10 |
Thank you. |
| 00:52:13 |
It's very usefull. - It's very different |
| 00:52:20 |
So you were never gay? |
| 00:52:22 |
It's ironic because you have |
| 00:52:28 |
These lips were made to praise the lord. |
| 00:52:31 |
No they are made for something else |
| 00:52:36 |
Are there any activities you suggest were |
| 00:52:55 |
Hurry up, get in here. |
| 00:52:59 |
Hurry up !!... Make the bed. |
| 00:53:00 |
But do you have something maybe a double ... |
| 00:53:04 |
-Would you hold the sheet over there? |
| 00:53:08 |
-What? |
| 00:53:11 |
This line around here is |
| 00:53:27 |
By the way, where is your uniform ? |
| 00:53:30 |
Do it. |
| 00:53:32 |
Oh God. |
| 00:53:35 |
What's up with the scarf? |
| 00:53:37 |
This is like my own ... |
| 00:53:41 |
What are you doing? |
| 00:53:43 |
Stand to position of attention soldier! |
| 00:53:49 |
Stand still soldier. |
| 00:53:50 |
That is not part of the uniform ... |
| 00:53:52 |
This outfit is to machy machy as it is |
| 00:53:58 |
Do you have an attitude candidate? |
| 00:54:07 |
Get down candidate! |
| 00:54:09 |
What type of belt is that candidate? |
| 00:54:12 |
What is that? |
| 00:54:14 |
-What is D &G ? |
| 00:55:03 |
Do it with your right hand. |
| 00:55:06 |
That's not good. |
| 00:55:10 |
Can I tell you about the person that changed |
| 00:55:15 |
No actually his name is Jezus. |
| 00:55:17 |
Jesus is in this room right now. |
| 00:55:20 |
He never leaves us, |
| 00:55:22 |
-He's here ... |
| 00:55:24 |
That's exactly right, |
| 00:55:26 |
You want to be famous? |
| 00:55:30 |
You will prepare the way for other |
| 00:55:32 |
all over the world who want to come |
| 00:55:36 |
And to make a change in their lives. |
| 00:55:37 |
And they say, if Bruno |
| 00:55:40 |
How did you change Bruno? |
| 00:55:43 |
He has changed me. |
| 00:55:46 |
Are you ready to make that change? |
| 00:55:49 |
Are you hitting on me? |
| 00:55:52 |
No, i'm not. |
| 00:55:53 |
Because that was realy hard, |
| 00:55:59 |
Are there any outdoor activities that |
| 00:56:05 |
Absolutely. |
| 00:56:07 |
-Hi. |
| 00:56:19 |
Heve you ever been hunting? |
| 00:56:20 |
I have never killed an animal, apart from |
| 00:56:29 |
Do you prefer the vagina or |
| 00:56:33 |
-I prefer the vagina. |
| 00:56:36 |
I love a women with a vagina. |
| 00:56:38 |
Yeah ... |
| 00:56:40 |
My favorite. |
| 00:56:44 |
We were just talking about vaginas. |
| 00:56:46 |
About what? |
| 00:56:47 |
Vagina's ... |
| 00:56:54 |
-What you wear is not much fantasizing |
| 00:56:57 |
-Really? |
| 00:56:59 |
Realy wonderful fabric. |
| 00:57:01 |
It is my favorite. |
| 00:57:20 |
Look at the 4 of us ... |
| 00:57:27 |
Which one are you Danny? |
| 00:57:29 |
I ain't one of them. |
| 00:57:33 |
That is such a Samantha thing to say. |
| 00:57:40 |
I've never been out of the city before . |
| 00:57:43 |
And... how does it feel? |
| 00:57:46 |
I feel a bit vulnerable. |
| 00:57:50 |
You know I am 19 years old, |
| 00:57:55 |
I don't wanna wake up tomorrow |
| 00:57:59 |
that i'm taunt in my ass A-pillar. |
| 00:58:04 |
You probably aint going or what.... |
| 00:58:10 |
There are so many stars in the sky. |
| 00:58:16 |
Makes you think of all the |
| 00:59:01 |
Mike? |
| 00:59:04 |
-Yes. |
| 00:59:10 |
- There is a homosexual. |
| 00:59:14 |
I think we'll both be safe |
| 00:59:19 |
I don't give a god damn, get to |
| 00:59:22 |
Okay goodnight. |
| 00:59:24 |
Sweet dreams. |
| 00:59:39 |
Can I come in? |
| 00:59:40 |
It's just this bear undoing my clothes. |
| 00:59:47 |
Get the fuck out of here. |
| 00:59:57 |
Reverend Pitzei found me to much of a hand full, |
| 01:00:03 |
You look descent in that. |
| 01:00:06 |
You look like a straight guy, |
| 01:00:10 |
Women are good for us. |
| 01:00:14 |
They're good, even though.... |
| 01:00:17 |
they appear to us to be |
| 01:00:21 |
And we find that some what irritating |
| 01:00:27 |
That they complain so much. |
| 01:00:29 |
Right. |
| 01:00:30 |
But the need that... |
| 01:00:31 |
We need many of the things, |
| 01:00:38 |
annoying and irritating... |
| 01:00:42 |
and women often don't stick to the point. |
| 01:00:46 |
They are often talking about one thing, |
| 01:00:50 |
and they never get back to the first point... |
| 01:00:53 |
maybe ever. |
| 01:00:55 |
I'm repulsed by the idea of making |
| 01:01:01 |
The important thing is to be around |
| 01:01:10 |
tolerable or interesting ... |
| 01:01:13 |
And give them a chance |
| 01:01:17 |
"Swingers Party" |
| 01:01:20 |
I hardly do get them first? |
| 01:01:26 |
Of all nights for us to swing |
| 01:01:31 |
And what is your favorite position? |
| 01:01:35 |
That would be missionary or |
| 01:01:39 |
What is "reverse cowgirl" ? |
| 01:01:41 |
Show me, I pretent as a woman . |
| 01:01:43 |
Like i'm sitting here ... |
| 01:01:47 |
- And you'll be sitting like that ... |
| 01:01:49 |
- That's called reverse cowgirl . |
| 01:01:50 |
And then when you're faceing me |
| 01:01:54 |
This one is cowgirl or reverse cowgirl ? |
| 01:01:57 |
This is cowgirl, and then when you turn |
| 01:02:06 |
And what other positions are there? |
| 01:02:08 |
Car driver ... |
| 01:02:10 |
- 69 - This is the girls position, you don't |
| 01:02:15 |
There is missionary, doggy style ... |
| 01:02:18 |
What's doggy style like? |
| 01:02:19 |
You'll be bent over like a dog does it ... |
| 01:02:21 |
-Like that? -Yes. |
| 01:02:25 |
If you was a woman i'd be happy. |
| 01:02:32 |
I would be humping you like that ... |
| 01:02:47 |
Anybody wants a sandwich ? |
| 01:02:54 |
Right ... |
| 01:03:13 |
Good boy ... |
| 01:03:16 |
Ohh.. fuck yeah..... |
| 01:03:23 |
Come on, try to look at my eyes ... |
| 01:03:26 |
Look me in the eyes, |
| 01:03:32 |
Why would he look you in the eyes |
| 01:03:36 |
Just for concentration. |
| 01:03:42 |
This is a swingers party !! |
| 01:03:44 |
You don't want pussy if you don't want fucking ? |
| 01:03:51 |
I didn't come here for no fucking queer show. |
| 01:03:55 |
-O.K. lets keep it at that then. |
| 01:03:56 |
This is a fucking swingers party, |
| 01:04:02 |
Hi ... |
| 01:04:09 |
I was just going to the kitchen |
| 01:04:17 |
Let's maybe forget we know each other, |
| 01:04:24 |
Let's get to know each other |
| 01:04:27 |
-What? |
| 01:04:31 |
I don't want you to do |
| 01:04:33 |
you wake up tomorrow and you've lost |
| 01:04:36 |
You know, |
| 01:04:40 |
Sit the fuck down. |
| 01:04:44 |
Don't fuck around !! |
| 01:04:48 |
I sit down with your father, we talk |
| 01:04:53 |
You could be a little bitch here and take |
| 01:04:59 |
Yeah ... |
| 01:04:59 |
Thanks. - We are going to make |
| 01:05:07 |
Do as I say !! .... |
| 01:05:10 |
take that fucking shit of now ... |
| 01:05:19 |
Take it off... |
| 01:05:20 |
I've got an idea... |
| 01:05:21 |
try a little bit of dress up here, |
| 01:05:24 |
What is this? |
| 01:05:27 |
No it's just a beard. |
| 01:05:28 |
- You want me to wear the beard? |
| 01:05:30 |
I don't need a beard ... |
| 01:05:41 |
Get on your fucking knees and |
| 01:05:59 |
I'm gonna be the straightest man |
| 01:06:02 |
And then I will be famous... |
| 01:06:35 |
- 8 MONTHS LATER - |
| 01:06:39 |
Make some noise, |
| 01:06:42 |
the host of a brand new Tv show |
| 01:07:15 |
Are you ready for some |
| 01:07:20 |
Who's ready for an old fashion hetro fest? |
| 01:07:26 |
Are you 100% hetro, like me? |
| 01:07:42 |
I want to hear you say, |
| 01:08:00 |
You know why? |
| 01:08:09 |
It's great to have an evening |
| 01:08:12 |
It's great not to have any fags here. |
| 01:08:15 |
- Go faggot !! |
| 01:08:20 |
Who ever called me a faggot come |
| 01:08:44 |
Who wants to see me, |
| 01:08:48 |
Subs made by - MISTER CERBERUS - |
| 01:11:18 |
The footage went everywhere. |
| 01:11:20 |
And Bruno became "Uber" famous . |
| 01:11:24 |
As for Loutz ... |
| 01:11:29 |
But because of the law, |
| 01:11:33 |
I feel this is the biggest step you'll , |
| 01:11:37 |
That's right. |
| 01:11:38 |
Am I gonna be able to meet her, |
| 01:11:41 |
Sure. |
| 01:11:56 |
I don't marry two men or |
| 01:11:58 |
If she's a man, |
| 01:12:04 |
You gave birth to a little black child ? |
| 01:12:07 |
Yes. |
| 01:12:09 |
When did you had the baby? |
| 01:12:11 |
I don't even know why i'm asking that. |
| 01:12:15 |
But even though |
| 01:12:17 |
we weren't gonna let it get us down. |
| 01:12:20 |
We were happy. |
| 01:12:27 |
I was so famous that I was able |
| 01:12:44 |
I wrote a song that i hope |
| 01:12:55 |
Put down your guns and bombs, |
| 01:12:59 |
and just make love forever. |
| 01:13:08 |
He's come to heal the world.... |
| 01:13:11 |
and make all nations calmer |
| 01:13:20 |
I am the Austrian Jesus, |
| 01:13:25 |
He is the white Obama. |
| 01:13:33 |
War is based on hate and fear... |
| 01:13:37 |
stop fighting North and South Korea. |
| 01:13:40 |
You're really both Chinese. |
| 01:13:44 |
It's Bruno the dove of peace. |
| 01:13:47 |
Hey Bruno were are the bitches? |
| 01:13:49 |
It's Bruno the dove of peace. |
| 01:14:12 |
I had a dream for the 3rd World. |
| 01:14:15 |
clean water, food and teaching. |
| 01:14:24 |
In every village and every town... |
| 01:14:28 |
a place for anal bleaching . |
| 01:14:37 |
We need to free the world of hunger ... |
| 01:14:40 |
I am like Bono but so much younger. |
| 01:14:44 |
Hey's only 19 ... |
| 01:14:47 |
I'm Bruno the peace dove. |
| 01:14:53 |
Hey, hey... he's gay, he's gay ... |
| 01:14:55 |
Subs made by: - MISTER CERBERUS - |
