Catch 22

en
00:05:19 What about the others?
00:05:23 - They'll be happier when you're gone.
00:05:29 Well... what the hell.
00:05:33 If they don't want to fly any more
00:05:39 It's a deal.
00:06:30 Help!
00:06:32 Help!
00:06:57 Help him!
00:07:00 - What?
00:07:02 - Help who?
00:07:05 - I'm the bombardier, I'm all right.
00:07:24 Snowden.
00:07:25 - What'd he say?
00:07:28 Snowden's dead.
00:07:34 Snowden?
00:07:35 - Why is he talking to a dead man?
00:07:41 - Who says so?
00:07:44 - 'Cause I said I hate that son of a bitch?
00:07:46 - He hates Colonel Cathcart.
00:07:49 - Colonel Cathcart isn't here.
00:07:52 - Colonel Korn isn't here.
00:07:54 - What son of a bitch do you hate?
00:07:58 You don't make any sense.
00:08:00 - You've got a persecution complex.
00:08:02 - You admit it!
00:08:04 - By whom?
00:08:06 - Who is "them"?
00:08:09 - Who?
00:08:11 - No idea!
00:08:15 - That's sheer what-do-you-call-it.
00:08:18 Like hell it is, McWatt.
00:08:22 No one's trying to kill you.
00:08:25 - Then why are they shooting at me?
00:08:29 What difference does that make?
00:08:32 - Suppose everyone thought like you?
00:08:37 You need your head examined.
00:08:39 There's nothing wrong with it.
00:08:42 - Look at it once, will you?
00:08:47 Please, don't do that.
00:08:53 - Doc...
00:08:55 - I want you to ground me.
00:09:06 Doc, I don't want to fly any more.
00:09:11 Listen, I told you...
00:09:13 Let's get out of here.
00:09:16 I've flown 35 missions. Now that
00:09:21 In any other outfit I would've been
00:09:25 I'm due for rotation myself
00:09:29 if I don't break any rules.
00:09:31 One of the rules says I can't ground
00:09:35 - Can you ground someone who's crazy?
00:09:38 The rules say I have to ground
00:09:41 I'm crazy! Ask anybody.
00:09:45 - Orr, tell him!
00:09:47 - Am I crazy?
00:09:52 I'd take good care of him, but he won't.
00:09:55 - See that? They all say I'm crazy.
00:09:59 - Why not ground them?
00:10:02 - Because they're crazy!
00:10:06 And you can't let crazy people decide
00:10:13 - Is Orr crazy?
00:10:15 He has to be,
00:10:18 - Then why can't you ground him?
00:10:22 - That's all he's gotta do?
00:10:24 - And then you can ground him?
00:10:29 - There's a catch.
00:10:31 Sure, Catch-22.
00:10:32 Anyone who wants to get out of combat
00:10:40 OK, let me see if I got this straight.
00:10:43 In order to be grounded,
00:10:46 And I must be crazy to keep flying.
00:10:49 But if I ask to be grounded, I'm not crazy
00:10:53 You've got it! That's Catch-22.
00:11:01 That's some catch, that Catch-22.
00:11:04 It's the best there is!
00:11:09 Good afternoon, men, this is Major
00:11:13 welcoming you to today's mission.
00:11:16 You've all been briefed on this morning's
00:11:21 There's no sense naming names,
00:11:25 and there's no reason I can think of
00:11:30 That's the stupidest goddamn thing
00:11:35 Weather conditions have improved
00:11:39 so you won't have any trouble
00:11:43 Of course that means that they
00:11:49 Colonel Cathcart would like to say
00:11:53 - And so, without further ado...
00:11:58 Men, I'm not gonna waste
00:12:01 I wish you good luck on today's mission.
00:12:04 To those of you who won't come back,
00:12:07 we're gonna do our best to take care
00:12:12 And don't forget: General Dreedle wants
00:12:18 on those aerial photographs.
00:12:20 Everyone ready to go?
00:14:36 Colonel Korn, I'd like you
00:14:39 Stay on top of this mission. I'd like
00:14:44 Yes, sir!
00:14:46 What is it, Lieutenant Minderbinder?
00:14:49 - An egg, sir.
00:14:53 - A fresh egg, sir.
00:14:57 In Malta, sir, where there are enough
00:15:03 for every officer in the squadron,
00:15:06 at five cents apiece from the mess fund.
00:15:10 - Yes?
00:15:15 - For whom?
00:15:17 For whomever sells the eggs
00:15:23 - And who may that be, Milo?
00:15:27 - Oranges from Marrakech, and pecans...
00:15:30 And in Palermo, sir, ten thousand gallons
00:15:35 The Sicilians need blankets.
00:15:39 There's an interested party in Sardinia.
00:15:41 All we need is the co-operation of
00:15:45 - What countries?
00:15:48 Well, the countries
00:15:52 So, what we have to have
00:15:54 is an additional assignment of personnel,
00:15:58 - What plane?
00:16:00 If I had one, I could get the gasoline
00:16:05 All right, Milo.
00:16:07 And if I was taken off combat duty
00:16:13 I know, sir, that I'm just an acting
00:16:17 but the job requires my full attention.
00:16:20 - All right, take whatever you need.
00:16:23 What I hope to do is to give the men
00:16:29 - That's something to shoot at, isn't it?
00:16:42 I'd like to show the Colonel
00:16:47 - What is it?
00:16:50 - A share?
00:16:53 If we get my ideas into practice,
00:16:57 - A mart?
00:16:59 A syndicate. An enterprise. There are
00:17:04 - For us?
00:17:06 What will be good for M&M Enterprises
00:17:13 - You'll have our full co-operation, Milo.
00:17:16 If I could take a plane this afternoon, I'd
00:17:21 - There's a huge cotton crop this year.
00:17:24 Cotton is a particularly liquid commodity.
00:17:26 - How much?
00:17:28 With what?
00:17:30 Silk! Four thousand yards of silk.
00:17:34 How in the world did you get hold of
00:17:37 Where the hell's my parachute?
00:17:42 OK, all right, which one of you bastards
00:17:53 Hello! Hello, this is the bombardier here.
00:17:57 We gotta turn back.
00:18:00 Nately, we gotta turn back now.
00:18:04 Nately! Do you hear me up there?
00:18:06 We gotta turn back.
00:18:09 Nately, let's turn back.
00:18:14 - What is it this time, Yossarian?
00:18:20 - Anything the matter?
00:18:25 - Don't worry about it.
00:18:27 What do I do if I have to bail out?
00:18:31 That's the kind of humor in the face
00:18:36 - I like you, Yossarian.
00:18:41 You could have my chute,
00:18:44 - You gave it to Milo?!
00:18:47 He's got a hell of a deal going for silk
00:18:51 Maybe I do have time to kill...
00:18:54 - Looks like they've seen us coming.
00:18:58 Oh, God, they've seen us!
00:19:00 Better get ready to dump those eggs.
00:19:07 They're shooting at me!
00:19:09 Where are we?
00:19:12 Hey, Aardvark, where are we?
00:19:21 - I think we're there.
00:19:26 We're there?!
00:19:28 We're there, eh?
00:19:31 Get ready to turn!
00:19:33 Four... three...
00:19:36 ...two... one...
00:19:39 Drop! Let's go!
00:19:42 Turn right hard!
00:19:44 Turn, turn!
00:19:46 Turn, you son of a bitch! Turn right!
00:19:49 - Turn, turn right!
00:19:53 I think we got 'em this time.
00:19:57 - I can't hear you.
00:20:00 What's that?
00:20:02 Climb, you bastard! Climb!
00:20:04 Climb!
00:20:07 Fire!
00:20:08 - Fire on board!
00:20:12 - Get out of the nose!
00:20:15 - Speak up. I still can't hear you.
00:20:20 - Which way should I go?
00:20:24 Turn left!
00:20:27 Look, there goes Orr.
00:20:32 That stupid little bastard. Pull out!
00:20:45 I think you've caught
00:20:49 Is that my leg?
00:20:53 Hey, is that my leg?
00:20:56 - What's with my leg?
00:21:00 My leg!
00:21:06 Yossarian's caught one.
00:21:11 - What's that?
00:21:14 - What?
00:21:17 - Help who?
00:21:20 - I'm the bombardier, I'm all right.
00:22:04 It's...
00:22:07 - What's his name, the new gunner?
00:22:10 Yeah.
00:22:15 Snowden.
00:22:56 - I'm cold.
00:22:58 - You're gonna be OK.
00:23:02 I'm cold.
00:23:17 Over here!
00:23:19 Hurry up!
00:23:21 Hey!
00:24:32 - What?
00:24:42 Oh.
00:24:45 Better, thank you.
00:24:48 What about you?
00:24:52 Me?
00:24:53 - Fairly well, thank you.
00:24:59 Except for a slight head cold.
00:25:04 Had it for about a week.
00:25:07 You know what they're like.
00:25:10 No, I...
00:25:13 I don't.
00:25:15 I've never really had a head cold.
00:25:22 Can't seem to be able to get one.
00:25:25 Well, you're very lucky.
00:25:29 Yes...
00:25:31 ...I suppose I am.
00:25:34 Except for this piece of shrapnel
00:25:39 Yes.
00:25:44 I've... never caught a piece of shrapnel.
00:26:02 You're a chaplain!
00:26:04 Yes. Didn't you know that?
00:26:07 No, I didn't.
00:26:09 I've never really seen a chaplain before.
00:26:12 I had no idea chaplains looked like that.
00:26:17 Well...
00:26:18 Well, if I can do anything to help you,
00:26:23 Anything?
00:26:26 Like books, or... cigarettes.
00:26:31 Toys?
00:26:32 No, I have everything I need,
00:26:39 - You could do one thing for me.
00:26:43 - If you could speak to Major Duluth...
00:26:46 Tell him I don't want to fly any more.
00:26:49 Cathcart's raised the number of
00:26:53 - I can't do it, because I'm desperate!
00:26:56 I'm desperate!
00:26:58 I'll see what I can do. I really will.
00:27:01 I'm gonna do my best.
00:27:20 It takes me 45 minutes to do this thing.
00:27:23 First I sauté the chicken parts...
00:27:26 ...then I put the raisins
00:27:52 He, he...
00:27:57 I'm awfully sorry, sir.
00:28:00 - What's your name?
00:28:03 I didn't ask your rank, I asked your name.
00:28:06 No, sir. I'm a captain. My name is Major.
00:28:09 Captain Major.
00:28:11 - Just about as clear as mud, isn't it?
00:28:16 Listen, Captain.
00:28:18 You're familiar with Major Duluth,
00:28:21 - He's a fine man, sir.
00:28:24 - Sir?
00:28:27 - I'm extremely distraught to hear that, sir.
00:28:32 Shot down over Perugia this afternoon.
00:28:35 That'll teach him to go on missions
00:28:40 - Sir, I don't see...
00:28:44 And you're the only major available
00:28:47 No, Major is my name, not my rank.
00:28:50 That's close enough for me, Major.
00:28:54 I don't know anything
00:28:57 We all have to make sacrifices, Major.
00:29:00 Sir, I'm in Billeting and Laundry!
00:29:02 I know that, sir, but we all
00:29:07 Well, I don't like my part.
00:29:18 Sergeant, I'm...
00:29:20 I'm going to take
00:29:23 ...lie down in my tent
00:29:27 Sir, there's someone waiting to see you.
00:29:30 - Now?
00:29:34 - Who is it?
00:29:38 - What does he want?
00:29:40 Something to do
00:29:46 Look... Sergeant...
00:29:50 The job that I have to do is tough enough
00:29:54 without having to deal with a lot of people
00:29:58 Yes, sir.
00:30:00 - I suppose you're wondering about this.
00:30:05 - People stare at me. Did you know that?
00:30:09 They're thinking,
00:30:11 "that he gets to be commander
00:30:15 - I don't think people think that, sir.
00:30:19 When I have this on,
00:30:23 Did you know,
00:30:26 princes and kings would put on disguises
00:30:31 - I didn't know that, sir.
00:30:34 - No, sir. Why did they do that?
00:30:39 Why did they walk around in disguise?
00:30:42 How the hell am I supposed to know?
00:30:47 I'm just a guy trying to do his job.
00:30:53 Sir?
00:30:55 - What is it now?
00:30:58 Sergeant, I don't want anyone to come
00:31:03 - What do I say to people?
00:31:08 - For how long?
00:31:10 - And then what?
00:31:12 - May I send them in after you've left?
00:31:14 - You won't be here, then, will you?
00:31:17 Also, I don't want you coming in
00:31:20 asking me if there's anything you can do.
00:31:23 When should I ask
00:31:26 When I'm not there!
00:31:27 - What do I do then?
00:31:31 Sergeant, I'm sorry to have to talk to you
00:31:36 - Goodbye.
00:31:44 - Sergeant!
00:31:47 - Thank you, for everything.
00:31:56 - The Major will see you now, Father.
00:32:00 - You don't have to call me Father.
00:32:04 Will you go in?
00:32:06 Yes, sir? Have it here, sir.
00:32:17 - There's no one here.
00:32:19 In Major Major's office.
00:32:21 - When?
00:32:25 What I mean is you can't see him
00:32:30 When he's in his office.
00:32:34 - When can you see him? Ever?
00:32:36 Yes, indeed, you can see him, when...
00:32:39 ...he isn't there.
00:32:42 That is, he'll see you, all right,
00:32:44 but only... in his office,
00:32:48 The other times, when he's in...
00:32:52 ...he's not...
00:32:54 ...there... to be seen.
00:32:58 Except when he's out.
00:33:00 What the hell
00:33:04 Get your ass in here, Padre.
00:33:09 Are you describing
00:33:12 There are some peculiar things
00:33:15 You haven't had any ecstatic visions,
00:33:18 Didn't see a burning bush, hear voices,
00:33:21 - Nothing as extraordinary as that, sir.
00:33:24 We have to keep our supernatural
00:33:28 - We have a war to win.
00:33:33 - May I ask where we're going, sir?
00:33:36 You are going to
00:33:39 - Now?
00:33:44 Is there anything wrong, sir?
00:33:47 I don't know, Padre. Are you and
00:33:51 - I don't know what you mean.
00:33:54 I don't know, sir.
00:33:55 You don't know much about anything,
00:33:59 - No, sir. Sir?
00:34:02 It's not necessary to call me Father.
00:34:07 Thanks for the correction.
00:34:10 - I just thought you'd like to know...
00:34:14 - I'm a lieutenant colonel. Correct?
00:34:18 Then I guess I can call you anything I
00:34:23 - Out!
00:34:28 Sir, do you think now?
00:34:32 - Morning. Anything I can get you?
00:34:36 - Do you need anything? Any supplies?
00:34:38 Whiskey, silk stockings,
00:34:42 The Colonel loves fresh fruit.
00:34:44 Religious supplies? I can get my hands
00:34:50 Blessed by the Pope himself.
00:34:52 The stuff includes the bones
00:34:56 That's very kind of you.
00:34:58 If you need anything, just ask for Milo.
00:35:01 - Well, I've never been issued a blanket.
00:35:20 - Yeah?
00:35:25 - He does?
00:35:28 ...Chaplain Tappman.
00:35:31 Have a seat. I'll tell the Colonel
00:35:35 It's not...
00:35:50 You'd better get some dry things.
00:35:53 Oh, I will. As soon as the Colonel
00:36:00 - They just picked me up out of the sea.
00:36:03 - I drifted for almost three days.
00:36:07 - You could catch pneumonia.
00:36:11 - Not me. This is my fourth time.
00:36:15 I've had to put down in the Mediterranean
00:36:19 ...then I crash-landed one plane,
00:36:24 - You're very lucky.
00:36:27 Yossarian says they're gonna start
00:36:32 - Yossarian?
00:36:35 Yes. As a matter of fact...
00:36:37 - Captain Tappman!
00:36:42 - Perhaps you shouldn't fly any more.
00:36:47 - Tappman, the Colonel is a busy man.
00:36:59 Well, Chaplain, we don't see much of you
00:37:04 Well, sir, I try to stay out of the way
00:37:08 I think I make many of the men
00:37:11 Nonsense!
00:37:12 I can't imagine any man not enjoying
00:37:17 Unless they're atheists.
00:37:21 - Not much chance of that, though.
00:37:24 - Atheism is against the law, isn't it?
00:37:27 It isn't?
00:37:31 - I'm not sure.
00:37:34 And if I find any atheists on this base,
00:37:39 Well, that's not why
00:37:43 I want you to take a look at this.
00:37:48 Page 48.
00:37:54 Don't read the whole thing. You can
00:37:58 There's a full-page picture
00:38:01 whose chaplain conducts prayers
00:38:05 I see no reason why
00:38:08 should not be interested
00:38:11 Think up some nice snappy prayers
00:38:16 Can you do that?
00:38:19 - I'll try.
00:38:24 Yes, sir.
00:38:32 Is there something else?
00:38:35 Sir, it may be none of my business,
00:38:38 but I think that some of the men
00:38:42 about the fact that you keep raising
00:38:49 - You're right, Chaplain.
00:38:52 That it's none of your business.
00:38:56 Their business is to fly missions.
00:38:59 Your business is to think
00:39:02 that'll get me into The Saturday
00:39:06 Yes, sir.
00:39:11 Excuse me.
00:39:13 Excuse me, Padre.
00:39:21 He says the men are upset because
00:39:25 - Yossarian.
00:39:28 It's that Captain Yossarian. He's
00:39:33 What can we do about it?
00:39:35 - What would General Dreedle do?
00:39:39 - Tear him apart!
00:39:41 - Jab him in the kidneys!
00:39:51 Keep your head down between your legs.
00:39:55 Try to breathe deeply and evenly.
00:39:58 I'm sorry, Captain.
00:40:01 - I don't think so.
00:40:04 Just think about nice things.
00:40:10 How lovely everything could be
00:40:15 - Why do you always try to spoil it?
00:40:19 Well, I know that, Captain.
00:40:22 But this is wartime.
00:40:26 We just can't give in to ourselves.
00:40:29 Think how it is for me: One of a handful
00:40:33 with thousands of men.
00:40:35 Men who are giving up their lives
00:40:40 Think of that... Captain Yossarian!
00:40:44 - What are you doing?
00:40:48 No, no, no...
00:40:56 What is it?
00:40:59 What's the matter?
00:41:02 The name of the town is Ferrara, and...
00:41:05 ...it's right around here.
00:41:13 - You all right?
00:41:16 - Who?
00:41:19 ...if you do your job well, there won't be
00:41:25 Intelligence reports indicate that
00:41:30 We were hoping for some
00:41:34 Unfortunately, they haven't arrived, but
00:41:40 You may ask yourselves how come
00:41:45 no enemy bases,
00:41:51 Ten-hut!
00:42:02 As you were. Good morning, gentlemen.
00:42:06 We're honored to have General Dreedle
00:42:10 Don't pay any attention to me.
00:42:14 - Don't pay any attention to Dad. Just...
00:42:19 Don't call me Dad.
00:42:22 - Go right ahead with your briefing, Major.
00:42:26 Thank you, sir.
00:42:28 I was just telling the men here that we...
00:42:31 - Don't tell me; tell them!
00:42:37 Yes. I was just explaining
00:42:41 - What about a chair?
00:42:47 - A chair.
00:42:49 A chair!
00:42:52 Doesn't anyone know what a chair is?!
00:42:58 - Can't you see a lady is standing?
00:43:19 Carry on.
00:43:21 We're now going to synchronize
00:43:25 Now, we've all done this before, so I don't
00:43:32 If everyone will be kind enough to look
00:43:37 It is now 11.15 hours
00:43:41 minus 50...
00:43:43 ...49... 48...
00:43:45 ...47...
00:43:53 Yossarian!
00:44:19 Somebody's gonna get it!
00:44:33 All right, at ease!
00:44:37 There'll be no more moaning in this outfit.
00:44:41 The next man who moans
00:44:45 ...one!
00:44:54 Who is this man?
00:44:56 - Major Danby, sir.
00:44:59 - Take him out and shoot him.
00:45:02 - I said take him out and shoot him.
00:45:05 Take Major Danby out and shoot him.
00:45:08 - I think you'd better wait a minute, Dad.
00:45:11 - I don't think you can shoot him.
00:45:15 Why not?
00:45:17 You mean I can't shoot
00:45:21 - Is that a fact?
00:45:24 You think you're pretty smart,
00:45:26 Just because my daughter married you
00:45:31 Oh, no, Dad, it's...
00:45:33 Let the insubordinate son of a bitch go,
00:45:39 - Better do something.
00:45:43 ...owe a vote of thanks to the General
00:45:48 In his honor, I'd like to make an
00:45:53 - You're all anxious to do your part...
00:45:57 As of now,
00:46:01 before you are eligible for rotation
00:46:05 I know we'll all do our best.
00:46:08 Ten-hut!
00:46:15 - Why are you smiling, you silly bastard?
00:46:20 - You what?
00:46:23 - What are you saying?
00:46:29 I do.
00:46:31 I really do. I've never felt like this before,
00:46:35 Men don't fall in love with girls like that.
00:46:37 Men always fall in love with girls like that.
00:46:40 One or the other.
00:46:42 I'm gonna take her back to Long Island
00:46:45 You don't really love her.
00:46:49 How can you tell the difference between
00:46:53 You have to be objective.
00:46:55 - Who's objective?
00:46:59 You mean you think you're not in love?
00:47:04 Wait a second...
00:47:07 Hey, look!
00:47:09 - Ooh, look what Aarfy's got.
00:47:15 My dear... My dear, we had a lovely day.
00:47:19 Did you see what he did?
00:47:26 - What'd you do, Aarfy?
00:47:29 - Nice girl. Very nice girl.
00:47:32 - She was gonna show us a good time.
00:47:35 We saw the Colosseum
00:47:38 - Why didn't you take her home?
00:47:43 - Old Aarfy's got some principles.
00:47:46 She just wanted to jump
00:47:49 She's mixed up.
00:47:52 He did!
00:47:54 I straightened her out and sent her home.
00:47:57 - You crazy bastard!
00:48:00 - He's got a dirty mind, hasn't he?
00:48:03 They want us to go home with them.
00:48:05 - For how much?
00:48:07 - Who's the little runt?
00:48:11 I wanna spend some time with my girl.
00:48:14 Give her the 30 bucks
00:48:17 She'll be angry with me
00:48:20 She said that if I really loved her, I'd send
00:48:24 I swear, you fellas..!
00:48:27 Come on, Yossarian, let's go!
00:48:31 Go on, you go.
00:48:33 - What's wrong?
00:48:37 - Two more missions and we go home.
00:48:41 No. A whole bunch of replacement pilots
00:48:45 - Who says?
00:48:47 He just came from there
00:48:50 We'll never see those replacements.
00:48:54 Cathcart wouldn't dare
00:48:57 Who's gonna stop him?
00:49:01 Somebody will.
00:49:09 Come on!
00:49:14 Nately!
00:49:15 Nately, wait for me!
00:51:19 All right.
00:51:21 I want to get this clear.
00:51:24 As I understand it, we're giving
00:51:28 - Is that right?
00:51:31 When I want an answer from you,
00:51:35 - General, I think I can explain it.
00:51:38 Yesterday's mission was to bomb
00:51:43 - Why Ferrara?
00:51:47 - Do you know what Ferrara is?
00:51:51 - Do you know what's in that town?
00:51:55 - What's in it?
00:51:58 Nothing's in it.
00:52:01 No railroad crossing,
00:52:06 - Nothing at all?
00:52:08 Except people. Italian people.
00:52:11 And a monastery.
00:52:15 Yossarian, maybe it's some kind
00:52:19 - What the hell are we doing?
00:52:24 - Whose business is it?
00:52:27 - Are you ready to take us in, Yossarian?
00:52:31 - We're not there yet!
00:52:34 Come on, Yossarian,
00:52:37 - Get ready to turn!
00:52:40 - Cut it out, Yossarian!
00:52:54 A direct hit... on the ocean?
00:52:58 Yes, sir. A marvelous bomb pattern.
00:53:00 We have aerial photographs
00:53:04 Are we decorating men
00:53:09 ...on the Mediterranean?
00:53:13 The alternative is that we take
00:53:18 - Might be a problem there, sir.
00:53:23 If we can't shoot the bastards,
00:53:27 See that they rot in some stockade.
00:53:30 Well, sir, we felt that a court martial
00:53:35 And if it got around that we used one
00:53:40 You don't have to say
00:00:11 "For distinguished duty in the face
00:00:16 - Odds.
00:00:18 "...this Air Medal is awarded
00:00:22 - McWatt.
00:00:29 Come on, come on.
00:00:36 All right, McWatt. What are you
00:00:41 And on the double!
00:00:43 "For meritorious action"
00:00:45 "in the face of concentrated
00:00:50 - What's this?
00:00:53 - Yossarian, sir.
00:01:09 Unless I miss my guess, Captain...
00:01:14 ...you're out of uniform.
00:01:18 What are you looking at?
00:01:21 Get back in the car, you smirking slut.
00:01:28 Why aren't you wearing clothes, Captain?
00:01:31 - I don't want to.
00:01:37 I dunno. I just don't want to.
00:01:40 - Why isn't he wearing clothes?
00:01:43 - Why isn't he wearing clothes, Major?
00:01:47 A man was killed in his plane
00:01:51 His clothes are in the laundry.
00:01:53 - Where are his other uniforms?
00:01:56 - Where is his underwear?
00:02:01 - That sounds like a lot of crap to me.
00:02:05 Sir, this man will be punished severely!
00:02:08 What the hell do I care?
00:02:12 If he wants to get his medal without any
00:02:17 - My sentiments exactly, sir.
00:02:24 You're a very weird person, Yossarian.
00:02:27 Thank you, sir.
00:02:34 - You are giving me this?
00:02:36 - Perché?
00:02:39 Because your name is Luciana.
00:02:42 But my real name is Eleonora Rosanna.
00:02:48 My mother only called herself Luciana.
00:02:52 I don't believe you.
00:02:54 I don't blame you.
00:02:58 What you get this for?
00:03:01 - Will you believe me if I tell the truth?
00:03:06 I was awarded that particular medal
00:03:10 - You have killed many fish?
00:03:14 In fact, I am the most renowned killer
00:03:20 OK.
00:03:23 I dance with you,
00:03:26 - Who asked you?
00:03:29 - I don't wanna dance with you.
00:03:38 - Watch where you put your hands, GI.
00:03:42 Watch where you put your hands,
00:05:12 It's...
00:05:15 What's his name, the new gunner?
00:05:18 - Snowden.
00:05:23 Snowden.
00:05:26 - I'm cold.
00:05:29 You're gonna be OK.
00:05:32 Cold... cold.
00:05:50 - There.
00:05:54 OK, hang on. I'll get you some morphine.
00:06:25 Milo! You prick!
00:06:29 Hi! What's up?
00:06:31 Hey, it's good to see you.
00:06:35 We've got a couple of things to talk over.
00:06:38 How you feeling? I'm sorry I didn't visit
00:06:43 - I wanna know about that parachute.
00:06:46 The one I'm supposed to use
00:06:49 Ah, that parachute!
00:06:50 You have to remember
00:06:53 was just one of 50 or 60 parachutes
00:06:57 I don't give a damn about the Syndicate!
00:07:00 They're not my tomatoes; they're the
00:07:04 Just as these are our statues. In fact...
00:07:08 ...that's where all the parachutes went.
00:07:11 - You traded my parachute for statues?
00:07:15 I traded our diesel engines
00:07:17 - I don't have any engines!
00:07:20 I got the engines for two planeloads
00:07:24 and the parachutes.
00:07:26 The men won't be happy when
00:07:30 Don't they understand?
00:07:34 You're gonna come out rich.
00:07:39 - What does he want?
00:07:43 Hungry Joe.
00:07:47 What is the matter?
00:07:49 I got a feeling.
00:07:53 - I think it is.
00:07:55 - Come on.
00:07:57 I don't know, but if it is what I think it is...
00:08:05 It's just McWatt.
00:08:07 I know. That bastard's been doing it to me
00:08:11 - Because she likes you better?
00:08:14 - Then why doesn't she go out with him?
00:08:18 - Good old McWatt.
00:08:21 He's carrying me on his manifest.
00:08:23 Every time he goes up,
00:08:26 I get my flight pay without having to do
00:08:32 - Look!
00:08:36 He's coming back!
00:09:00 - Who was it?
00:09:13 We'll have to requisition
00:09:17 Is there anything...
00:09:21 ...I can do?
00:09:23 McWatt's still up there.
00:09:27 Doc Daneeka's up there, too.
00:09:30 I'm right here.
00:09:33 Come on down, McWatt.
00:09:36 Probably afraid to come down.
00:09:43 - He cut his engine.
00:09:49 Why doesn't Daneeka jump?
00:09:53 I'm right here, Sergeant.
00:09:56 Jump, Doc, jump!
00:09:59 Jump. Jump, Doc...
00:10:03 Please, jump.
00:10:06 Jump.
00:10:08 Jump.
00:10:23 Poor Hungry Joe.
00:10:26 Poor McWatt.
00:10:29 Poor Doc.
00:10:31 Yeah.
00:10:33 Poor Doc.
00:10:37 I'll need a full report on this,
00:10:41 Yossarian?
00:10:43 I haven't seen you in some time.
00:10:48 Not since...
00:10:53 - Snowden's funeral.
00:11:00 Do you want to say something, sir?
00:11:03 What?
00:11:05 I just wondered
00:11:09 No... No, no, I didn't actually know
00:11:13 It was his first mission.
00:11:16 - Did you know him, Danby?
00:11:21 What was it?
00:11:23 - Snowden, I think.
00:11:27 Well, I'll... just read something.
00:11:31 Yes, you... you do that.
00:11:37 - Something wrong?
00:11:40 I just thought I saw something.
00:11:45 - A naked man in the tree?
00:11:53 - That's just Yossarian.
00:11:59 Well, in that case...
00:12:03 "The Lord is my shepherd."
00:12:07 "I shall not want. He maketh me
00:12:12 Hey!
00:12:15 - I've been looking all over for you.
00:12:20 I don't want to butt in, but why
00:12:24 I don't want to.
00:12:26 Yossarian, I want you
00:12:29 I want to serve this to the men.
00:12:38 - What is it?
00:12:43 - Are you crazy?
00:12:45 You didn't take the seeds out!
00:12:47 - Is it really that bad?
00:12:50 - They've got to learn to like it.
00:12:52 I saw a chance to corner the market
00:12:57 I've got warehouses full of it
00:13:01 People eat cotton candy. This is better,
00:13:05 - People can't eat cotton!
00:13:09 It will make them sick.
00:13:13 I did, and it made me sick.
00:13:19 Look. Looks like a funeral.
00:13:22 They're burying the kid
00:13:26 - What happened to him?
00:13:31 - What?
00:13:34 I'm sorry.
00:13:40 - He was your friend?
00:13:46 - He was very old.
00:13:49 Well, he died. You don't get
00:14:04 - Where do you work?
00:14:07 I didn't say you were.
00:14:09 - I work in big American company.
00:14:15 You want to see me again? Why?
00:14:19 Why not?
00:14:21 You think I'm beautiful?
00:14:24 - I think you're perfect.
00:14:27 - It is true.
00:14:30 See this?
00:14:33 Jesus, how did you?
00:14:36 Air raid.
00:14:38 - Germans?
00:14:50 You do not want me now?
00:14:53 What are you talking about?
00:14:56 - I want you to marry me.
00:14:59 - Why?
00:15:02 - Why not?
00:15:04 - So what?
00:15:07 I do. I wanna marry you.
00:15:10 Not possible... Because you're crazy.
00:15:13 - Why am I crazy?
00:15:17 You won't marry me because I'm crazy;
00:15:21 - You're crazy.
00:15:25 Because I love you.
00:15:27 Ti amo. Ti amo molto.
00:15:30 How can you love a girl
00:15:34 Because I can't marry you.
00:15:36 Why you can't marry me?
00:15:40 - No, because you're crazy!
00:15:45 - You all crazy!
00:15:48 Because you don't know
00:15:51 And that's the secret of life.
00:15:54 But we have a war to win.
00:15:57 But America will lose the war;
00:16:01 America's the strongest nation on earth.
00:16:03 The American fighting man is the best
00:16:08 Exactly. Italy, on the other hand,
00:16:13 The Italian fighting man
00:16:18 That's why my country is doing so well,
00:16:24 That's silly! First Italy was occupied
00:16:30 - You call that doing well?
00:16:33 The Germans are being driven out,
00:16:37 In a few years, you'll be gone,
00:16:40 You see, Italy is a very poor,
00:16:44 and that is what makes us so strong.
00:16:47 Strong enough to survive this war
00:16:53 ...long after your country
00:16:56 What are you talking about?
00:17:00 Never?
00:17:02 - Well...
00:17:05 Greece was destroyed.
00:17:08 Spain was destroyed.
00:17:11 All great countries are destroyed.
00:17:16 How much longer do you think
00:17:20 Forever?
00:17:26 Well, forever is a long time, I guess.
00:17:30 Very long.
00:17:32 Ciao!
00:17:35 Please, we're talking.
00:17:38 - We go to bed now?
00:17:40 Would you go put some clothes on?
00:17:48 I wish she wouldn't walk around like that.
00:17:50 It is her business to walk around like that.
00:17:53 - But it's not nice.
00:17:57 She's nice to look at.
00:18:01 This life is not nice.
00:18:05 - When we go to America, Nately?
00:18:09 You will take her to America?
00:18:11 Away from a healthy, active life?
00:18:14 Away from good business opportunities?
00:18:20 - Don't you have any principles?
00:18:24 No morality?
00:18:26 I'm a very moral man.
00:18:30 And Italy is a very moral country.
00:18:33 That's why we will certainly
00:18:36 if we succeed in being defeated.
00:18:40 - You talk like a madman.
00:18:47 I was a Fascist
00:18:50 Now that he has been deposed,
00:18:56 When the Germans were here,
00:19:00 Now I'm fanatically pro-America!
00:19:04 You'll find no more loyal partisan
00:19:10 You're a shameful opportunist!
00:19:13 It's better to die on your feet
00:19:17 You have it backwards.
00:19:20 It's better to live on your feet
00:19:26 I know.
00:19:28 How do you know?
00:19:30 Because I am 107 years old.
00:19:36 How old are you?
00:19:39 I'll be 20 in January.
00:19:42 If you live.
00:19:51 - Ciao, Yossarian.
00:19:55 We gotta go back.
00:19:59 Hello, my dear.
00:20:01 You give me a dollar? I pay you back
00:20:05 Just one... Just one.
00:20:08 One! Gimme that.
00:20:10 Come on, Dobbs.
00:20:13 - Why are the leaves cancelled?
00:20:16 Milo says the base
00:20:19 Oh, yeah... Cathcart raised
00:20:23 - 80?
00:20:25 He's mad because Captain Orr
00:20:29 - Where?
00:20:32 Went down in the Mediterranean.
00:20:35 Air-Sea Rescue out there?
00:20:39 Yeah. They picked up everybody but Orr.
00:20:54 Will you fellas stay away
00:20:59 What for?
00:21:02 Just do as I say.
00:21:04 Stay in your tents.
00:21:06 Why?
00:21:10 - There it is.
00:21:12 Orr's plane!
00:21:16 He'll find his way back. He always does.
00:21:20 He'll turn up. He'll sneak in
00:21:27 Aarfy, if anything happens to me,
00:21:32 Listen to him: His girl!
00:21:34 - Yossarian?
00:21:37 Nothing's gonna happen to you
00:21:54 Orr?
00:21:57 Orr?
00:22:00 Orr?
00:22:05 Orr.
00:22:08 - I'll be through in a minute.
00:22:12 And then I gotta watch you fit some
00:22:17 Then I guess you haven't seen it.
00:22:20 What? You guess I haven't seen what?
00:22:23 A little square gasket, about this big.
00:22:26 - Have you seen it?
00:22:28 - Then I'll have to start all over again.
00:22:33 - Why?
00:22:37 Why?
00:22:39 - Why what?
00:22:42 What's that got to do with the pain
00:22:46 It's got everything to do with it.
00:22:49 Are you trying to tell me something?
00:22:52 Just... that if you were smart,
00:22:56 - You've already cracked up three planes.
00:22:59 I'm a good pilot.
00:23:01 - I don't want to end up in the ocean.
00:23:04 - For getting me drowned?
00:23:07 Winter's coming.
00:23:09 You'll have heat, hot water...
00:23:14 - Where are you gonna be?
00:23:17 Here and there.
00:23:19 No one wants to fly with you.
00:23:24 - They're crazy.
00:23:28 You're crazy.
00:23:58 Orr?
00:24:25 Orr?
00:25:01 - Orr?
00:25:03 - Who's "he"?
00:25:07 He just died. They came
00:25:11 - Get in the bed, will you?
00:25:13 His mother, father and brother flew
00:25:18 - What do you want me to do?
00:25:21 Just for a few minutes.
00:25:24 They came 5,000 miles
00:25:28 - I'm not dying!
00:25:32 They'll know. They came to see their son.
00:25:34 This is what they get. One dying boy
00:25:40 - It won't work.
00:25:43 I don't want to disappoint them.
00:25:47 - What if they start crying?
00:25:52 I'll wait outside the door, and if it gets
00:25:59 It won't work.
00:26:01 Do this for me
00:26:04 - Will you ground me?
00:26:07 You can fill out a slip that says
00:26:11 Sure I can.
00:26:23 But there's a catch.
00:26:27 - Catch-22.
00:26:29 Group isn't going to approve my action.
00:26:32 They'll put you back on combat status
00:26:37 - Oh, my God, here they are.
00:26:40 Do this for me and I'll send you to Rome
00:27:02 He looks terrible.
00:27:05 - He's sick, Pa.
00:27:10 My name is Yossarian.
00:27:13 His name is Yossarian, Ma.
00:27:16 Yossarian... don't you recognize me?
00:27:20 I'm your brother John.
00:27:24 - Sure I do. You're my brother John.
00:27:28 Yossarian, look, here's Papa.
00:27:31 - Say hello to Papa.
00:27:34 Hello, Harvey.
00:27:36 His name is Yossarian, Pa.
00:27:39 - He looks so bad.
00:27:41 The doctor says he's gonna die.
00:27:45 Harvey?
00:27:47 Ma, his name is Yossarian.
00:27:51 She doesn't remember things too good.
00:27:54 It's OK.
00:27:56 She can call me Harvey if she wants to.
00:28:00 Harvey.
00:28:08 - Don't worry. Everything will be all right.
00:28:17 We came from New York. We were
00:28:23 - In time for what?
00:28:28 What difference would it make?
00:28:31 We didn't want you to die by yourself.
00:28:34 What difference would it make?
00:28:36 He's getting delirious. He keeps saying
00:28:41 - Harvey!
00:28:45 What difference does it make?
00:29:14 Listen, kid...
00:29:17 It's not bad.
00:29:22 I'm gonna put a tourniquet on it.
00:29:58 There. It's good.
00:30:02 It's a good bandage.
00:30:03 Cold.
00:30:06 Cold...
00:30:09 It's gonna be OK, kid.
00:30:12 We'll be home soon.
00:30:25 - Does the leg still hurt?
00:30:35 Yossarian?
00:30:37 You in there?
00:30:39 Orr?
00:30:41 - Is that Orr, you son of a bitch?
00:30:46 Nately. What's happening?
00:30:50 It's Dobbs, we've got to stop him.
00:30:52 - What for?
00:30:54 - Cathcart?
00:30:57 Dobbs is gonna kill Colonel Cathcart?
00:31:39 - What's the matter with you?
00:31:43 - They'll get you for murder!
00:31:47 - Come on, gimme the gun!
00:31:50 - You've just got a few more missions.
00:31:54 He'll raise the number again,
00:31:57 He'll keep us flying missions
00:32:01 What do you care? You wanna stay
00:32:06 You happen to be talking
00:32:09 The fiancée of any guy
00:32:12 who doesn't mind risking
00:32:15 for 15 minutes of phony moans
00:32:19 Nately!
00:32:32 Nately?
00:32:34 Nately!
00:32:37 Yossarian.
00:32:40 I think I hurt him.
00:32:50 He'll be all right.
00:32:53 Here he comes!
00:32:55 - Gimme the gun!
00:32:58 If he raises the number again,
00:33:02 - Really?
00:33:05 Well, that's very reasonable of you.
00:33:08 - Something's going on.
00:33:11 Milo and the Colonel are up to something.
00:33:14 They've been planning something.
00:33:16 - What's he doing?
00:33:30 Why didn't they turn their lights on?
00:33:41 Yossarian, listen!
00:33:46 What is this?
00:33:49 Look!
00:33:57 Jesus Christ!
00:33:59 Run, run, run!
00:34:20 All right, number 1 and 2, that was good.
00:34:23 - Thank you. What shall I do now, Milo?
00:34:28 All right, Number 3. Be careful not to hit
00:34:33 Direct hit on the mess hall, if you please.
00:34:36 And Number 3...
00:34:38 Hold on, Number 3.
00:34:41 Yossarian, get off the field.
00:34:44 Take cover, Yossarian. You, too,
00:34:53 Bastards! Get out of there!
00:34:56 Yossarian, cut that out; those are our
00:35:01 This is an M&M Enterprises operation.
00:35:07 Number 4 and 5, Number 3
00:35:10 I told you men to come in low.
00:35:14 Shoddy work will not do.
00:35:20 Dobbs!
00:35:34 What are you doing, Yossarian?
00:35:41 I want to see you later. You're confined
00:35:45 - The Air Force won't forget about this.
00:35:49 What's good for M&M
00:35:52 - There goes the bomb dump!
00:35:56 The Germans promised to take it off
00:36:01 - It's all part of the deal.
00:36:05 You made a deal with the Germans?
00:36:07 A contract is a contract.
00:36:12 Lieutenant Minderbinder speaking.
00:36:16 Following this bomb run,
00:36:19 - Strafe?!
00:36:22 There goes Headquarters!
00:36:30 Nately!
00:36:34 Nately!
00:36:44 Nately!
00:36:52 Nately!
00:36:56 - What's that?
00:36:59 - Nately is dead.
00:37:01 - Who's dead?
00:37:04 You will be if we don't get
00:37:07 - What's happening?
00:37:09 We're gonna take a little look inside you.
00:37:12 We're gonna clean you out
00:37:18 Hey...
00:37:20 Yossarian.
00:37:23 We've got your pal.
00:37:27 You heard me.
00:37:30 We've got your pal.
00:37:32 Who's my pal?
00:37:34 - What's he saying?
00:37:37 - Who's his pal?
00:37:41 Nately's dead.
00:37:44 I know.
00:38:02 I wouldn't go in there.
00:38:05 I gotta go find Nately's whore.
00:38:08 I gotta tell her he's dead.
00:38:16 Wanna come with me?
00:38:17 Not now. I promised her
00:38:21 For her family. I know them.
00:38:26 OK.
00:38:27 - I'll see you later.
00:38:39 Andiamo?
00:38:41 Yes, yes, we're going. Up to my room.
00:38:46 You better get off the streets soon.
00:39:26 - What happened?
00:39:30 - Who?
00:39:33 All gone. Taken away.
00:39:37 Who? Who took 'em away?
00:39:40 The white-hats.
00:39:42 The white-hats... The MPs?
00:39:44 Yes, the MPs.
00:39:49 Where did they take 'em?
00:39:51 Who knows? All gone.
00:39:59 - Where's the old man?
00:40:02 - Gone where?
00:40:06 What?
00:40:08 He was alive one minute,
00:40:12 He can't be.
00:40:14 Why not?
00:40:23 - Where did they take the girls?
00:40:28 They just came in and took them.
00:40:32 They must have had a reason.
00:40:36 No reason.
00:40:40 - What right did they have?
00:40:55 What? What did you say?
00:40:59 Catch-22.
00:41:10 How do you know it was Catch-22?
00:41:13 The girls said,
00:41:18 The men said, "Catch-22".
00:41:21 The girls said, "What right do you have?"
00:41:24 The men said, "Catch-22".
00:41:27 All they kept saying was,
00:41:32 - What does it mean?
00:41:35 - Didn't you ask them to read it to you?
00:41:40 - Who says so?
00:41:43 What law?
00:41:45 Catch-22.
00:43:28 Milo! Milo!
00:43:33 Milo, I'm gonna kill you,
00:43:39 Take it easy, don't hurt him.
00:43:41 I know how you feel,
00:43:44 - Who's fault was it?
00:43:46 Nately was the victim of certain economic
00:43:51 You unbelievable bastard!
00:44:00 - Do you want me to take you to her?
00:44:03 Nately's whore.
00:44:05 - Do you know where she is?
00:44:26 You're AWOL, Yossarian.
00:44:30 - Nately wouldn't do anything that dumb.
00:44:34 - Too bad. He was nice.
00:44:38 He died a rich man.
00:44:41 - He's dead.
00:44:43 - He didn't have a family.
00:44:45 They don't need it, they're rich.
00:44:48 Then they'll understand.
00:44:56 Ask for number 33.
00:46:00 Hello, Yossarian.
00:46:06 - I didn't know.
00:46:09 - Everybody works for Milo.
00:46:14 Well, he told me to ask for number 33.
00:46:18 33...
00:46:24 $10, please.
00:46:33 No towel, Yossarian?
00:46:49 - Hello, Yossarian.
00:46:58 - Where's your sister?
00:47:01 - You give me a dollar?
00:47:04 - We go to America soon?
00:47:15 - Ciao, Yossarian.
00:47:17 - You make love now?
00:47:21 - I have to tell you something.
00:47:25 Yeah.
00:47:27 - He's coming?
00:47:32 We go to America soon?
00:47:35 Yeah. Listen...
00:47:38 When we go?
00:47:40 Listen...
00:47:44 Nately's dead.
00:47:50 Brutto.
00:47:51 Brutto!
00:47:53 - T'ammazzo!
00:47:59 - It's not my fault!
00:48:03 He was my friend, you dumb bitch!
00:48:07 Assassino!
00:51:44 - I only raped her once.
00:51:48 I had to after I raped her. I couldn't let her
00:51:53 Why did you touch her at all?
00:51:57 Not me.
00:52:04 - Come on, get back, get back!
00:52:16 Aarfy, are you insane?
00:52:18 They're gonna throw you in jail.
00:52:21 You just killed a girl.
00:52:25 She has no right to be there, you know.
00:52:41 Don't you realize what you've done?
00:52:45 You've murdered a human being!
00:52:48 I don't think they'll do that.
00:52:52 They won't make a fuss
00:52:55 when thousands of lives
00:52:57 Aarfy, they're coming to arrest you.
00:53:00 You can't take the life of another
00:53:04 They're coming to get you!
00:53:20 - Captain Yossarian?
00:53:22 - You're under arrest.
00:53:26 You're AWOL.
00:53:34 - We're sending you home.
00:53:37 I said we're sending you home.
00:53:40 You have been making things terribly
00:53:46 The men are unhappy.
00:53:51 It's his fault for raising
00:53:53 - It's your fault for not flying.
00:53:57 Wouldn't you give your life for your
00:54:02 What have you and Colonel Korn
00:54:05 You're a disgrace to your country!
00:54:10 - You promoted me.
00:54:14 Let me. Let me...
00:54:17 Captain,
00:54:19 I'd like to appeal to your better judgment
00:54:23 There's a mission about to start.
00:54:27 and we'll pretend
00:54:31 Yossarian,
00:54:33 won't it make you proud to know
00:54:37 that averaged more combat missions
00:54:41 Don't you want to earn more unit citations
00:54:47 Don't you want to contribute further
00:54:53 No.
00:54:55 In that case
00:55:00 Of course, there's one catch.
00:55:04 Oh, yeah? What's that?
00:55:07 Well, we will issue orders
00:55:12 and there's... one thing
00:55:17 What would that be?
00:55:27 Like us.
00:55:46 Like you?
00:55:50 Like us.
00:55:52 You'll be surprised
00:55:56 We're going to put you on Easy Street.
00:55:59 - Promote you to major.
00:56:02 - We're going to send you home a hero.
00:56:07 You can make speeches,
00:56:11 And all you have to do is be our pal.
00:56:15 Say nice things about us.
00:56:17 Tell the folks at home
00:56:25 Take our offer, Yossarian.
00:56:28 It's either that
00:56:39 What about the others? I'd be playing
00:56:44 - They'll be happier when you're gone.
00:56:56 If they don't want any more missions,
00:57:00 Precisely.
00:57:01 Exactly.
00:57:07 It's a deal.
00:57:48 Assassino!
00:58:00 Help!
00:58:02 Help!
00:58:27 Help him!
00:58:29 - What?
00:58:32 - Help who?
00:58:35 - I'm the bombardier, I'm all right.
00:58:52 I'm cold.
00:58:54 I'm cold.
00:58:57 It's gonna be OK, kid.
00:59:00 We'll be home soon.
00:59:13 - Does the leg still hurt?
00:59:47 There, there...
00:59:57 There, there.
01:00:02 There, there.
01:00:32 - May we come in?
01:00:34 - I see you're all alone.
01:00:37 Well, you're going home.
01:00:42 - I don't know if I am.
01:00:44 I've your orders here. That parade
01:00:48 You're a hero.
01:00:49 And you're gonna get a medal for
01:00:55 That wasn't a Nazi.
01:00:57 That was Nately's whore.
01:00:59 She tried to kill me
01:01:05 - But the Colonel said that it...
01:01:10 They send me home a hero, and I say
01:01:24 That's a lousy deal, isn't it?
01:01:28 Isn't it?
01:01:31 Well...
01:01:35 Isn't it?
01:01:38 I don't know,
01:01:41 What are you here for?
01:01:45 I'm not too sure about that either.
01:01:49 What would you do if you were me?
01:01:54 I don't know. I mean, I'm... not you.
01:01:59 Imagine that you are me.
01:02:04 That's hard.
01:02:06 Sometimes I even have trouble imagining
01:02:15 I'm gonna call the deal off.
01:02:17 Let them send me home for flying over
01:02:21 Then they'd have
01:02:24 - That's their problem.
01:02:26 It's your problem,
01:02:29 - Make the best of a bad situation.
01:02:33 No what?
01:02:36 I've been lying in this bed
01:02:41 and all I know is
01:02:44 and I can't play Cathcart's game.
01:02:48 Well...
01:02:50 - What else can you do?
01:02:56 - You'll... desert?
01:02:58 How'd you get off the base?
01:03:01 That's why
01:03:04 They'll call you a coward.
01:03:07 Oh, Christ, Danby.
01:03:09 I've fought for my country for three years,
01:03:13 - Suppose everyone felt that way?
01:03:16 What would your friends say?
01:03:20 I haven't got any.
01:03:24 McWatt killed himself.
01:03:27 Hungry Joe was chopped in two.
01:03:31 Aardvark's a murderer.
01:03:34 Doc Daneeka's a zombie.
01:03:39 They're all gone.
01:03:41 The only friend I had was Snowden,
01:03:45 What about Orr?
01:03:47 Orr's at the bottom of the sea.
01:03:50 No, he isn't. Don't you know?
01:03:53 - Know what?
01:03:55 What?
01:03:57 After 16 weeks at sea, Captain Orr
01:04:02 - A miracle.
01:04:04 - He rowed?
01:04:07 Think of that, all the way to Sweden!
01:04:10 - He'll sit out the rest of the war.
01:04:13 It's no miracle. He has to have planned it.
01:04:16 - He went to Sweden deliberately?
01:04:20 He said that crash-landing
01:04:24 - Planning it all this time.
01:04:27 On every mission that he flew!
01:04:30 No, no, no, that is a miracle.
01:04:34 Practicing getting shot down...
01:04:37 ...in the sea!
01:04:39 He made it?
01:04:43 He made it?
01:04:47 He made it!
01:04:49 That son of a bitch made it!
01:05:03 Are you crazy? Is he crazy?
01:05:05 If he made it, so can I!
01:05:08 - We gotta stop him.
01:05:11 - They'll catch you!
01:05:14 - This is insane!
01:05:16 - What about your clothes?
01:05:20 You'll be on the run with no friends.
01:05:24 Ha-ha! I live that way now.
01:05:26 - Yossarian, for God's sake, hurry up!
01:05:30 - How do you feel, Yossarian?
01:05:34 - Keep on your toes every minute.
01:05:38 - You'll have to jump.
01:05:40 Jump!
01:07:42 Ripped by: