Chaos Theory

en
00:01:47 Give it to me straight.
00:01:49 Virginal bride, or...
00:01:52 ...slut in white? Ha, ha.
00:01:54 He is so lucky.
00:02:08 You okay in there?
00:02:10 I feel sick.
00:02:11 Oh.
00:02:14 You're getting nervous.
00:02:16 You remember last year when Jesse
00:02:19 ...and, uh, I thought she spent
00:02:23 ...sad and depressed?
00:02:25 - Yeah.
00:02:28 ...out of the blue that she spent
00:02:32 - What did you do?
00:02:35 Good. That's good. So, what's wrong?
00:02:40 She slept with Jake Lee.
00:02:42 She slept with him for like a week.
00:02:44 How am I supposed to live with that?
00:02:48 Come on,
00:02:50 - Am I overreacting?
00:02:54 Come on, man,
00:02:56 I mean, you know, you had broken up.
00:02:59 Right.
00:03:01 What would you do?
00:03:03 I'd be happy, man. Ha, ha.
00:03:06 I mean, it's Jesse.
00:03:10 - What do you mean by that?
00:03:13 Ahem. I didn't mean it like that.
00:03:16 Look, you wanted this, right?
00:03:20 So, pull yourself together,
00:03:36 Ed?
00:03:38 Mr. Allen.
00:03:40 You caught me reminiscing.
00:03:43 Buy you a drink?
00:03:45 Oh, I'd love to, Frank, but I'm kind of...
00:03:49 I insist.
00:03:50 After all, it is the traditional function
00:03:54 What is?
00:03:55 Keeping the groom away from back exits.
00:03:57 No, I was just gonna go outside,
00:04:01 Your best tequila, on the rocks.
00:04:04 - It's tequila, right?
00:04:07 That's great. He'll have a double.
00:04:09 You know, I realize that you don't
00:04:12 You and Jesse down at school,
00:04:15 ...you can talk to me.
00:04:16 Nothing really to talk about, sir.
00:04:19 Doubts?
00:04:21 No, no. No doubts.
00:04:24 I'm totally doubt-free.
00:04:27 Yeah.
00:04:29 I'll tell you what. Ahem.
00:04:32 Why don't we make a little list, shall we?
00:04:36 Let's start with doubt number one.
00:04:38 Uh, none.
00:04:40 No, I promise. None.
00:04:44 Oh, come on, we can do better than that.
00:04:47 What about that thing with Jake Lee?
00:04:51 - She told you that?
00:04:54 Two weeks? She told me a week.
00:04:56 One, two, most of Lent,
00:05:00 That's not why you're eyeing the exit.
00:05:02 Jake Lee's an excuse.
00:05:05 Tell me something, Ed.
00:05:09 Do you love her?
00:05:12 Yeah, of course I do.
00:05:14 Then maybe, just maybe,
00:05:17 ...why it isn't pure and constant.
00:05:19 Why all of these ups and downs.
00:05:22 How can something that feels
00:05:25 ...make you so queasy the next?
00:05:30 Relax.
00:05:31 Life is a mess.
00:05:34 All you have to do is choose to love her
00:05:40 You know,
00:05:43 Thank you for the advice and the drink...
00:05:45 You know, I've had a marriage
00:05:48 Oof.
00:05:49 Dazzling extremes. Perhaps you've
00:05:54 Frankly, Frank, another time.
00:05:57 - Maybe Christmas?
00:06:03 Tell you what.
00:06:05 One says "walk."
00:06:07 And the other says "talk."
00:06:10 Pick one. You choose.
00:06:12 Pick the one that says "walk"
00:06:16 Pick the one that says "talk"
00:06:21 You're kidding, right?
00:06:24 No.
00:06:37 ED
00:06:40 I get the feeling sometimes, Mr. Allen,
00:06:43 I like Jake Lee.
00:06:46 But my daughter loves you.
00:06:48 Which means you have
00:06:50 And you've never done a damn thing
00:06:54 Like I said, my marriage...
00:06:57 ...has been one of extremes.
00:07:00 Certainty and doubt. Deceit and truth.
00:07:04 But it started with truth.
00:07:07 And it started right here in this hotel.
00:07:11 In this very room.
00:07:28 - Hey!
00:07:30 - How you doing, man?
00:07:32 - Resolutions, huh?
00:07:34 I always make mine on December 29th.
00:07:36 That way I only have 48 hours
00:07:39 - Cheers.
00:07:43 Hey, have you seen Susan yet?
00:07:44 Uh, no, she's always late.
00:07:47 No, not since Teddy's party last week.
00:07:49 Teddy had a party?
00:07:51 - Yeah.
00:07:53 - Was she there with anyone, or, uh?
00:07:56 Oh. Which is it? "Not" or, uh, "really"?
00:07:59 It's hard to say.
00:08:14 Careful, Frank,
00:08:39 Cheers.
00:08:40 - Amen.
00:08:42 All right, okay.
00:08:46 - Sherri?
00:08:49 - Oh, come on.
00:08:51 Your turn, Frank.
00:08:55 I resolve to be bolder.
00:09:00 What a dick. God.
00:09:03 Well, I resolve to fall in love.
00:09:07 Okay.
00:09:09 - That's pretty ambitious.
00:09:19 Okay, next, next. Who, who?
00:09:21 - Come on, Susan.
00:09:23 I resolve to buy a motorcycle.
00:09:28 Nice. Nothing nicer or sexier
00:09:32 I resolve to stop you from doing that.
00:09:34 Why? Don't you like motorcycles
00:09:36 It's just that 95 percent of riders
00:09:40 - Here we go.
00:09:42 And 55 percent of riders
00:09:44 But it gets better than that.
00:09:46 Do you know what doctors call riders
00:09:49 - No, tell us.
00:09:50 Organ donors.
00:09:52 Organ donors. Yeah.
00:09:54 Just, look, promise me
00:09:56 Somebody take the pole out of his ass.
00:10:00 - You take the pole.
00:10:03 - An even better one, I think.
00:10:06 - Does anyone wanna hear it?
00:10:08 Okay. So, um, I resolve to...
00:10:12 ...find a husband.
00:10:14 What?
00:10:17 And, um, uh, I've decided
00:10:22 You know, I don't wanna marry
00:10:27 - Who wants to be my husband?
00:10:30 - I'll do it.
00:10:31 Shit. Oh, God. How will I ever choose?
00:10:35 - By size. By size, boys.
00:10:38 Whatever pleases you the most.
00:10:42 - There won't be any guesswork involved.
00:10:45 Oh, my God. That's actually
00:10:48 - That's charming.
00:10:51 What could be more revealing about a man?
00:10:56 ...becomes my husband.
00:10:58 Right. Okay, so who's first? Come on.
00:11:00 Ken, what do you got for me?
00:11:02 Come on, baby.
00:11:04 Is it too hard of a question
00:11:07 - Uh, okay.
00:11:09 I call him...
00:11:12 ...Squeaky the Bald-Headed Mouse.
00:11:15 - Oh, my God, you don't.
00:11:17 - Are you serious?
00:11:20 - Buddy? Come on.
00:11:23 What?
00:11:25 It's Master of the Universe,
00:11:27 Oh, shit, man.
00:11:30 Couldn't it be "God Almighty"
00:11:32 - Uh, well, that's my tongue, actually.
00:11:35 - Okay, Frank?
00:11:38 - Yeah, come on, spit it out.
00:11:41 That's... That's what I call it.
00:11:44 Truth.
00:11:46 I'm sorry it's not a farm animal.
00:11:50 - You should be.
00:11:52 ...eight, seven, six, five...
00:11:56 ...four, three, two, one.
00:11:59 Happy New Year!
00:12:02 It was always gonna be you.
00:12:33 Uhh...
00:12:35 What is that?
00:12:37 No.
00:12:39 I don't have a daughter this early.
00:12:42 - Whatever's there, kill it.
00:12:45 - It's wide awake.
00:12:47 Okay, okay, okay. I'm going, I'm going.
00:12:50 Go away.
00:12:52 Hurry, Daddy.
00:12:56 - Hurry.
00:12:57 Come on.
00:13:03 Okay, okay, okay.
00:13:11 Ready?
00:13:21 To give a good speech.
00:13:22 Your turn.
00:13:32 Nice writing.
00:13:33 I wish, I wish, upon the sun,
00:13:39 And what did you wish for?
00:13:40 That Mary Ross will get hit by a truck.
00:13:43 Well, that's not very nice.
00:13:48 - I divorced her.
00:13:51 - Why not?
00:13:55 That's okay. As long as a truck hits her.
00:14:00 All right, killer, come on.
00:14:02 - Let's go dogpile Mommy.
00:14:04 Shoot. Hey, Monster,
00:14:12 You need a list to keep track of your lists.
00:14:15 Oh, thank you.
00:14:17 No, honey, that's all sugar
00:14:19 You've had enough. Go get dressed.
00:14:22 "Conscious". Is it "sc" or "cs"?
00:14:26 Come and give me a kiss, please.
00:14:29 - I'll be home in the morning. I love you.
00:14:32 All right.
00:14:35 Don't forget to return the movies.
00:14:37 - Movies?
00:14:39 No, no, no. I can't.
00:14:43 Would you, um, do it if it was on that list?
00:14:47 - Of course I would.
00:14:49 - Ah, ah. No, I don't have time.
00:14:52 - I can't be late for the ferry, so...
00:14:55 - Eighteen after.
00:14:58 - It's a symptom. It's like a twitch.
00:15:05 Yeah, well, I used to pound Jägermeister.
00:15:10 Anyway, you won't be late.
00:15:12 - Yes, I will.
00:15:19 - You didn't.
00:15:20 - Oh, shit.
00:15:24 No, you didn't. You set it the wrong way.
00:15:28 Oh, shit.
00:15:30 - I'm sure you'll be fine.
00:15:32 Bye.
00:15:33 You forgot the movies.
00:15:44 - Hello?
00:15:46 - He just left.
00:15:49 - So might he.
00:15:52 Don't drag him into anything
00:15:55 What do you consider unsavory?
00:15:57 Anything that might lead to a rash.
00:16:00 - What are you wearing?
00:16:02 - Come on.
00:16:07 Thank you.
00:16:11 We're okay.
00:16:13 We're okay. No, no, no.
00:16:15 Come on. No, no, no, you're kidding me.
00:16:22 Please, please, please. No, no.
00:16:26 Hey, congratulations.
00:16:29 God, come on. Look, sir, please,
00:16:33 There's plenty of room on the ferry.
00:16:36 Please. I beg you, I have a speech.
00:16:41 Next boat leaves in an hour.
00:16:44 Oh, look at that, it's eight o'clock.
00:16:47 Next boat, pal.
00:16:57 The relationship between time and you...
00:17:00 ... is always one of master and slave.
00:17:06 List-making.
00:17:08 It is your anchor,
00:17:12 Start each morning
00:17:14 And then move right on
00:17:17 And remember to keep them
00:17:20 Why? Because a specific list...
00:17:25 ...is a happy list.
00:17:29 And don't forget, it's chaos out there.
00:17:32 And we conquer that by taking control,
00:17:36 Life cannot be based on whim.
00:17:38 Those who fail to control whim...
00:17:40 ...are destined to be controlled by it.
00:17:44 Thank you.
00:17:56 Hey, back in the city.
00:17:58 - Good to see you, man.
00:18:00 Excellent talk, by the way.
00:18:03 I saw you come in.
00:18:05 Yeah. My old man
00:18:08 ...for being late on the Bethnal job.
00:18:10 Do you have any idea how many
00:18:13 I don't know. Fifty?
00:18:17 Something wrong in Camp Frank?
00:18:19 No. Ahem.
00:18:20 - What?
00:18:22 That's all right. No, that's okay.
00:18:26 - Okay, look. You know this talk today?
00:18:29 It's a big break for me
00:18:32 Susan. Susan. She knows
00:18:35 She knows how nervous I get
00:18:38 ...yet she doesn't say anything,
00:18:40 Instead, she gets all over me
00:18:43 She sets the clocks forward
00:18:46 ...only she gives me less time
00:18:49 Now, do you have any idea
00:18:52 ...to show up late to a lecture
00:18:55 - She actually set the clock forward?
00:18:58 - Ha, ha. Oh, man, that's good.
00:19:02 Come on, man. She's just trying
00:19:05 I'm not a clock. I'm not wound.
00:19:09 Look, not everything in your life
00:19:12 You know, if you don't take any chances,
00:19:16 That's not true.
00:19:19 Great. Let's ask those chicks if they want
00:19:23 - That's not taking a chance.
00:19:25 - Because.
00:19:27 Because everybody knows...
00:19:29 ...that the house advantage for blackjack
00:19:33 And that doesn't make sense.
00:19:36 - Five point nine percent, huh?
00:19:39 - I thought we were hanging out.
00:19:42 But if you're not gonna take a chance,
00:19:46 I like those odds.
00:19:48 Hi, ladies.
00:20:31 I was at your lecture today. It's not bad.
00:20:35 Thank you. Ha.
00:20:36 My boss forced me to read your book,
00:20:40 - It's five.
00:20:42 - The Five Minute Efficiency Trainer.
00:20:45 - It worked. It totally worked.
00:20:48 I didn't expect that.
00:20:52 - It was amazing. I mean, I make lists.
00:20:55 - They're color-coded. It's...
00:21:00 - Am I gushing?
00:21:03 I'm Paula. Paula Crowe.
00:21:05 - I'm Frank. Frank Allen. Nice to meet you.
00:21:10 Would you like to try something
00:21:16 Well, uh...
00:21:19 You know, uh, yeah. Yes, I would actually.
00:21:24 - Yeah?
00:21:28 Two Tangerinis, please.
00:21:34 You know, you're very brave to be able
00:21:39 Mm. No. I, uh...
00:21:42 Every night before I give a talk,
00:21:45 ...that I'm giving a huge lecture
00:21:50 - Ha-ha-ha!
00:21:53 Anyway. When I'm actually
00:21:57 I pretend that everyone in the audience
00:22:02 After today's crowd,
00:22:11 - Frank?
00:22:13 - Can I ask you a big favor?
00:22:16 I, uh, really, really have to go tinkle.
00:22:20 And I have this phobia
00:22:24 - Would you...?
00:22:27 - All my life. All my life.
00:22:30 Would you mind terribly
00:22:37 You're funny.
00:22:38 Mm, mm, mm.
00:22:48 - Oops.
00:22:59 Frank?
00:23:01 You know when you said that you
00:23:05 Oh, what's this?
00:23:07 Does that mean
00:23:12 Yeah, married.
00:23:16 How did I look?
00:23:18 Uh, just one. Jesse, she's, uh, great.
00:23:21 We're talking about another one
00:23:28 - This good?
00:23:30 Uh, wow. I'm gonna
00:23:33 I made my daily goal list for today.
00:23:36 - It's very specific.
00:23:40 Because it's chaos out there
00:23:43 ...by setting priorities and taking control.
00:23:46 Well, these aren't
00:23:50 Yeah. We, uh... There's a system to it.
00:23:54 Oh, I'm gonna get that.
00:23:58 - Hello?
00:24:00 Hey.
00:24:02 I'm sorry about this morning.
00:24:05 Oh, uh, score one for the good guys.
00:24:10 What was that?
00:24:14 Uh, nothing.
00:24:19 - Are you all right?
00:24:21 I'm just so exhausted right now...
00:24:24 ...and I love you, and I'm gonna
00:24:27 - Okay, okay.
00:24:33 You should've seen your face.
00:24:36 The way you squirmed,
00:24:41 - I love married men.
00:24:43 Come here. How about
00:24:46 I don't feel well. I have a wife and a kid.
00:24:50 Relax. It's too late to go anywhere.
00:24:54 - I'll drive around the peninsula, it's fine.
00:25:01 - A waste of time.
00:25:03 Remember that the relationship
00:25:06 ...is always one of master and slave.
00:25:11 Look, I'm really, really sorry
00:25:14 Use the room as long as you want.
00:25:17 I love my wife.
00:25:22 Jerk.
00:25:32 Hello?
00:25:34 - Hello?
00:25:37 You're probably looking for Frank.
00:25:40 He just left on a mission
00:26:11 Pick a lane. God.
00:26:14 Oh!
00:26:27 - Oh, God.
00:26:29 Are you okay? Are you okay?
00:26:32 Can you unlock the door? Can you...?
00:26:36 Okay, what's wrong? Is it your head?
00:26:38 What's wrong with your stomach?
00:26:41 You're having a baby!
00:26:44 Fifteen minutes. We're gonna be there.
00:26:46 We're gonna be at the hospital
00:26:49 - I'm Frank Allen. What's your name?
00:26:52 Nancy. Okay, Nancy. You're doing great.
00:26:55 Breathe in, out, in, just think about
00:26:59 I don't... I don't want it.
00:27:01 Well, my thought is
00:27:04 - So you know, just in, out.
00:27:07 - Breathe in.
00:27:10 That's very generous of you,
00:27:12 No, thank you... Okay, just hold it.
00:27:17 I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
00:27:20 Oh, God! That's it, just keep breathing.
00:27:24 Oh, it's just leaking everywhere.
00:27:31 Excuse me. Excuse me.
00:27:34 - Information on you and your wife.
00:27:37 - Well, fill out what you can.
00:27:53 - Hello?
00:27:55 - May I speak with Mr. Allen, please?
00:27:59 Do you know where he is?
00:28:01 No, I don't.
00:28:03 It seems that Mrs. Allen
00:28:08 I'm Mrs. Allen.
00:28:10 Mrs. Allen. You're in no condition
00:28:14 Post-childbirth
00:28:17 Post what?
00:28:18 - Your baby needs you.
00:28:22 Do I have the right Allen?
00:28:25 I'm... I'm sorry. Who are you looking for?
00:28:28 Frank Allen of 17 River Drive.
00:28:34 Hello?
00:28:36 Mrs. Allen? Hello?
00:28:51 - Get out.
00:28:53 - I said, get out.
00:28:55 - No, don't give me that. See, I know.
00:29:00 - You're a liar.
00:29:01 - You're a liar!
00:29:04 God! Okay, okay, listen, listen, listen,
00:29:08 - Oh, God!
00:29:11 I didn't do anything really wrong!
00:29:14 Is this what you've been getting up to
00:29:18 She was a nobody!
00:29:21 Okay!
00:29:23 All right, there was a small
00:29:26 - I've been up the whole night.
00:29:30 - You've been boning some woman?
00:29:33 - Nothing happened!
00:29:37 - What baby?
00:29:40 - Oh, that baby.
00:29:43 - Fuck off!
00:29:50 This is absurd. You're a hospital.
00:29:53 ...and not know who she is?
00:29:54 We occasionally treat the patient before
00:29:59 - And then you let them escape.
00:30:04 We don't expect mothers
00:30:14 Okay, okay, okay, I'm sorry.
00:30:19 Can you call my wife?
00:30:22 ...and I'll be on my way.
00:30:24 - And tell her what?
00:30:26 - That I only met the mother last night.
00:30:30 Well, it's true.
00:30:33 Save it for your wife.
00:30:37 Here's what Susan dropped off for you.
00:30:39 Uh, what do you think I should do?
00:30:44 Well, are you asking me as your friend
00:30:47 Friend.
00:30:49 - Talk. Just talk to her. Be honest.
00:30:53 She won't talk to me until I prove
00:30:58 You don't remember the last name?
00:30:59 - No.
00:31:01 No, it was dark.
00:31:02 As your lawyer, if there's anything
00:31:06 ...you know I'm sworn
00:31:13 I didn't know her, Damon!
00:31:16 Well. Without the mother's consent
00:31:20 ...for a DNA sample from the baby
00:31:22 - How long?
00:31:24 Oh, God.
00:31:28 Look, stop worrying.
00:31:30 If what you say is true, there's no way
00:31:34 ...could prove that child's yours
00:31:37 I'm not worried about a court of law.
00:31:40 Susan, I demand that you listen to me.
00:32:07 Honey, I'm begging you.
00:32:08 l...
00:32:26 Monster, I love you. l...
00:32:28 I love you too, Frank.
00:32:31 What are you doing over there?
00:32:33 She doesn't want to talk to you.
00:32:35 - Put her on.
00:32:37 You're on the form as the father.
00:32:39 - That's not true. Ahem.
00:32:42 I believe you.
00:32:43 You just need to give Susan
00:32:48 All right.
00:32:49 Hang in there, Frank.
00:32:52 Yeah.
00:33:12 You should be aware that results
00:33:16 It just doesn't have the exactitude
00:33:18 The best is usually a statistical probability
00:33:23 When can I expect results?
00:33:25 Uh, four or five days.
00:33:27 Now, for the fun part.
00:33:45 - Bye, sweetie. See you later.
00:33:49 Uh, what's he doing here?
00:33:51 Picking Jesse up.
00:33:52 You're letting him see Jesse?
00:33:55 He's still her father.
00:33:58 Oh. Look at that.
00:34:01 Big kiss, please. Okay. Ah.
00:34:05 Daddy, when are you coming home?
00:34:07 Hopefully in a few days, sweetie.
00:34:09 How's Mommy? Did she get
00:34:11 She called you a moral slob.
00:34:14 Well, you know Mommy.
00:34:16 Sometimes she gets upset
00:34:20 - Like cleaning my room?
00:34:24 She gets awfully mad
00:34:26 It's just like cleaning your room.
00:34:28 So we're both slobs.
00:34:30 I guess so. Yeah.
00:34:35 - Does that make me a bigamist too?
00:34:39 Mommy.
00:34:50 What the hell is that?
00:34:52 I'm calling him Abigail.
00:34:56 Unbelievable. He's dressed you
00:35:00 He's the best daddy ever!
00:35:13 Please.
00:35:21 As far as your question of paternity goes,
00:35:24 ...the tests prove 100 percent,
00:35:27 ...that it is not your child.
00:35:29 Yes! Proof! Proof.
00:35:33 Yes, well, I checked the results twice.
00:35:37 You saved my life here.
00:35:40 I was expecting some kind of completely
00:35:44 ...so this is, ahh.
00:35:47 Uh, no, it's actually quite simple.
00:35:53 - No joke?
00:35:57 What is that?
00:35:58 Well, it's a condition called
00:36:03 Don't worry, it's harmless. Most men
00:36:06 ...except for one of its manifestations.
00:36:11 In what? What manifestation?
00:36:14 Sterility.
00:36:17 - Excuse me?
00:36:23 I don't understand. Uh...
00:36:26 It is impossible for you to have children.
00:36:35 Uh...
00:36:44 You got the wrong guy, doc, because
00:36:50 I'm sorry.
00:36:53 Okay, something's wrong here.
00:36:57 Um, you have the wrong label,
00:36:59 I mean, this is a hospital.
00:37:03 l... I'm sorry to drop this on you.
00:37:07 Hey.
00:37:09 Come on, I'm a father. I have a little girl.
00:37:15 Unlike humans, chromosomes can't betray,
00:37:19 The truth is all they state.
00:37:22 Um...
00:37:32 But, Jesse. I have a... A little girl.
00:37:36 I will, of course, take another sample,
00:37:40 I'm afraid, Mr. Allen,
00:39:15 It's all been a lie, hasn't it?
00:39:17 - You tell me.
00:39:19 Oh, yeah? Well, I know, too!
00:39:21 Hi, Daddy.
00:39:24 Go to your room, sweetie.
00:39:58 Uh, excuse me?
00:39:59 I'm willing to bet ten bucks
00:40:03 Why don't you join me for a drink?
00:40:11 Hey, buddy?
00:40:13 I wanna sit next to the pretty girl here,
00:40:18 Hey, pinhead, I'm talking to you.
00:40:25 You work the ferry?
00:40:27 Yeah, so? Move your ass.
00:40:31 If you'd let me on,
00:40:34 I wouldn't have been so mad at Susan.
00:40:36 I wouldn't have been so stupid.
00:40:40 I wouldn't know the things
00:40:43 Do I know you or something?
00:40:46 What time is it now?
00:40:49 What?
00:40:54 What time is it now?
00:40:56 - Screw you.
00:40:58 You want a piece of me, asshole?
00:41:53 That felt good.
00:41:55 Thank you for doing that.
00:42:21 - What is your name?
00:42:48 We're gonna be late again. Get your bag,
00:42:58 - Can I help you?
00:43:02 He's not home.
00:43:05 I'm his wife.
00:43:06 Oh. Hi. I'm Nancy.
00:43:10 I wanted to thank him.
00:43:14 For what?
00:43:16 All his help.
00:43:21 Is that Frank's baby?
00:43:22 Oh, no.
00:43:27 Frank, it's me. Why won't you call
00:43:32 Call me.
00:43:39 Flat out on the floor. Then he
00:43:43 Shh!
00:43:50 - What's going on?
00:43:54 Um...
00:43:56 Let's, um, talk outside.
00:43:58 Yeah.
00:00:08 Tom has a cousin who said his best friend
00:00:12 ...when your husband got into a fight
00:00:15 - Frank?
00:00:19 No, that's not Frank. That's just
00:00:22 No. John's son works at the shop.
00:00:28 - A red Harley?
00:00:34 Without me?
00:00:42 Frank?
00:00:43 Oh, I'm sorry.
00:00:46 I'll leave a note.
00:01:34 - I need to talk to you.
00:01:37 I found this in his hotel room.
00:01:40 It's very succinct.
00:01:42 I met the mother.
00:01:45 Well, that's great.
00:01:47 There was still a woman in his hotel room.
00:01:49 Come on, give the boy a break.
00:01:53 - You never look at the pool boy?
00:01:56 You don't need a pool for a pool boy.
00:01:58 It's different.
00:02:01 - It's not Frank-ish.
00:02:04 It's not really his style.
00:02:05 Buddy, stop it. I'm not this wanton
00:02:09 ...in your sleazy little brain.
00:02:12 I've had three men my whole life, okay?
00:02:16 And this isn't about me, and it's damn sure
00:02:20 Hey, come on.
00:02:22 Then find him and make sure
00:02:36 Hey. It's open.
00:02:39 Hey.
00:02:41 - Hey.
00:02:43 Well, obviously,
00:02:46 Ha, ha. Good,
00:02:49 Susan will take you back.
00:02:52 A little begging may be required.
00:02:54 What I do is send red roses
00:02:56 By day five of the big red, she'll forgive
00:03:00 I'm not going back.
00:03:02 - I had a pretty major revelation, Buddy.
00:03:05 All the decisions I've made in my life
00:03:09 - Everybody feels that way, come on.
00:03:12 I've always been so goddamn careful
00:03:16 ...and what the hell has it gotten me?
00:03:18 So, instead I look around here...
00:03:21 ...and I write lists of everything
00:03:24 ...and then I just randomly pick
00:03:27 Frank, did you hear me?
00:03:31 What are you doing?
00:03:32 - There's no choice to be made.
00:03:37 Whim. Chance.
00:03:39 I've decided to never decide
00:03:44 Hockey.
00:03:48 And so it is.
00:03:56 Frank, maybe I didn't
00:03:58 I really think she'll take you back.
00:04:00 Hey, she loves you, you know?
00:04:03 That's not true.
00:04:07 When you look at me, you look at
00:04:11 Any chance this "creature of freedom"
00:04:14 No.
00:04:16 Look, what you need, and I say this
00:04:19 A bit of sun, a bit of relaxation,
00:04:24 - I like that.
00:04:26 I like that idea. Watch this.
00:04:29 Okay.
00:04:30 "Prozac."
00:04:33 "Streak ice." Ooh.
00:04:38 - And "become Slayers fan."
00:04:42 I'm gonna pick one.
00:04:44 - You know what that makes me?
00:04:46 - Free.
00:04:48 You've been a Meteor since you were 6.
00:04:52 - I can.
00:04:54 Okay, then.
00:04:55 To do that, you'd have to be
00:04:59 That's morally abhorrent. A man
00:05:03 Exactly.
00:05:09 Frank, if you're gonna go nuts, you should
00:05:13 Index cards? It's just not that sexy.
00:05:17 You need help, man.
00:05:20 - I did.
00:05:23 No.
00:05:25 No, not a shrink.
00:05:28 If there's something wrong,
00:05:32 Jesse's not my genetic daughter.
00:05:35 - What?
00:05:37 Yeah. I have Klinefelters Syndrome.
00:05:39 - Kline-what?
00:05:40 I was born with an extra X-chromosome.
00:05:45 - Are they sure? I mean...
00:05:48 It's impossible for me to be a father.
00:06:20 I saw her.
00:06:22 It was December 19.
00:06:27 Oh, God. Oh, no.
00:06:42 Hey, Jesse.
00:06:45 Jesse, how old are you?
00:06:47 - Seven.
00:06:48 Really? Now when's your birthday?
00:06:51 - Today.
00:06:54 You didn't get me a present, did you?
00:06:57 Oh, jeez. Of course I did.
00:07:01 I, uh, got you this watch.
00:07:04 And be careful, it's a Rolex.
00:07:07 - Is your mother inside?
00:07:20 Susan, I found a man wandering aimlessly
00:07:24 - Thanks, Peg. Goodbye, Peg.
00:07:27 - Is today really Jesse's birthday?
00:07:31 What about Frank? Is he all right?
00:07:34 - Uh, yeah, Damon bailed him out.
00:07:36 - Who was the third lover?
00:07:38 You said I was one of three lovers.
00:07:41 - So there must have been a third. Who?
00:07:43 - Who was the third man?
00:07:45 - No, not until you tell me.
00:07:47 - I want a name. Who was it?
00:07:49 - Alan Zelf. When?
00:07:54 I was 17, we did it in the basement
00:07:57 What's gotten into you?
00:07:59 Fatherhood.
00:08:14 Time.
00:08:16 Efficiency.
00:08:19 Organizational skills.
00:08:24 Do any of you really give a shit?
00:08:27 You're here because your boss thinks...
00:08:31 ...that if you keep your desk clear
00:08:34 ...you'll sell a few more computers,
00:08:38 But will that make you any happier?
00:08:41 Will it prevent you from waking up
00:08:45 Will it stop your wife, Susan,
00:08:50 Must've been that week
00:08:53 At Teddy's party.
00:08:55 I knew it was stupid. Even when we were
00:08:59 Gee, thanks.
00:09:02 - You could've used birth control.
00:09:04 - I guess it wasn't completely effective.
00:09:06 Oh!
00:09:09 I could die.
00:09:10 Betrayed.
00:09:13 By the assumptions of our own society.
00:09:16 Keep your shoes shined. Hard work
00:09:19 Well, let me ask you something,
00:09:23 If so...
00:09:25 ...raise your happy hand.
00:09:29 Then the decisions that you've made
00:09:31 You're a crappy person.
00:09:34 - Crappy, crappy, crappy.
00:09:35 Yeah. Crappy.
00:09:38 Poor Frank, suddenly finding out
00:09:41 Enough poor Frank. What about
00:09:44 - Poor Jesse.
00:09:46 - No father.
00:09:49 You're a mistake!
00:09:50 It could have been me you married
00:09:52 It would've cramped your style.
00:09:55 You don't think I crave stability?
00:09:57 You don't think I haven't wanted a family,
00:10:02 You don't think I've always loved you?
00:10:07 No.
00:10:11 Yes. Yes.
00:10:38 Whim...
00:10:40 ...not thought.
00:10:42 Chance...
00:10:44 ...not planning.
00:10:46 You are where you are today
00:10:49 You've all lacked passion!
00:10:56 Act on those passions.
00:10:58 Succumb to your whim.
00:11:01 Forge a new being, goddamn it.
00:11:11 Say yes to whim!
00:11:13 Say yes to chance! Say yes to chaos!
00:12:12 Paula, right?
00:12:16 Frank Allen. Are you still a, uh,
00:12:22 Are you still a home-wrecking bitch?
00:12:26 Still gay?
00:12:33 What's with the cards?
00:13:15 What happened?
00:13:17 What, you don't remember, beasty-boy?
00:13:20 No.
00:13:21 It was terrible.
00:13:24 In a good way?
00:13:26 You passed out halfway in, so to speak.
00:13:30 Why is my pillow wet?
00:13:33 You cried in your sleep
00:13:36 Whimpering like a little girl.
00:13:41 It was like soft hotel-porn...
00:13:44 ...unsatisfying and sad.
00:13:49 - See you.
00:14:05 Hey, it's me.
00:14:07 I know this is the 33rd message I've left,
00:14:11 I need to talk to you, Frank.
00:14:13 Please.
00:14:16 Bye.
00:14:24 - Hello.
00:14:25 Here you go.
00:14:27 - Thanks.
00:15:22 Susan?
00:15:23 No, no, wait, wait, wait, wait!
00:15:37 Stop.
00:15:40 - And stop getting me flowers.
00:15:43 Cut me some slack.
00:15:45 - Okay. I'm trying to do what's not wrong.
00:15:49 - But I love you, doesn't that count?
00:15:51 Don't play the martyr with me.
00:15:54 - I'm just as smashed up as you are.
00:15:59 Well, what about Jesse?
00:16:05 Jesse has nothing to do with you.
00:16:08 She hates me, doesn't she?
00:16:09 She doesn't know you well enough
00:16:12 So if she knew me, then she'd hate me?
00:16:17 Buddy, what do you want?
00:16:24 My whole life people have been telling me
00:16:28 I'm not, you know?
00:16:30 But this is different.
00:16:33 I just desperately wanna do what's right.
00:16:43 What is right?
00:17:55 Hi.
00:17:59 Oh, God. I'm so...
00:18:02 I'm...
00:18:04 I'm sorry, Frank.
00:18:10 You know?
00:18:12 Yeah.
00:18:16 Why didn't you tell me?
00:18:18 It's hard to talk
00:18:21 No, come on, it wasn't like that.
00:18:25 It had to have happened before New Year's,
00:18:32 - No double-life?
00:18:39 Do you know whose it is?
00:18:42 - She's not an "it," she's Jesse.
00:18:51 Yes.
00:18:52 She's yours, Frank. She's...
00:18:55 Maybe not medically...
00:18:58 ...but in all other ways she's your daughter.
00:19:04 Whose is she? Whose is she, Susan?
00:19:08 She's yours. She's yours.
00:19:11 She's yours. She's yours because...
00:19:16 Because when she had strep throat
00:19:21 Yours because her first word was "Dad."
00:19:24 Because how scared you got
00:19:27 ...in the mall for 40 seconds.
00:19:30 Because of how happy you feel
00:19:33 ...and she's standing there looking at you.
00:19:36 She loves you, Frank. You love her.
00:19:41 This is our home. It's our family.
00:19:44 JESSE
00:19:48 Mommy.
00:19:50 I'm coming.
00:19:58 I'll be two seconds, okay?
00:20:00 Yeah.
00:20:33 - What is it, honey?
00:20:41 Go back to sleep, okay?
00:20:45 Try to go back to sleep.
00:21:31 Frank?
00:21:43 Shit.
00:22:51 - Can I help you?
00:22:55 I need to shoot something tonight.
00:22:59 There's a three-day waiting period
00:23:02 ...but I can sell you a shotgun,
00:23:05 I'll take one.
00:23:07 Great. What type?
00:23:09 - Uh...
00:23:13 - Hunting.
00:23:15 What are you hunting?
00:23:17 - Uh, duck.
00:23:19 Yes. A huge duck.
00:23:23 Are you using a blind?
00:23:26 No. Uh...
00:23:28 No. I'd like to do this face to face.
00:23:32 This would be a solid choice for you, sir.
00:23:49 - Hello?
00:23:51 Oh, hey. What's up?
00:23:52 Listen, Frank came by and picked up
00:23:56 He was, uh, acting really weird.
00:23:59 He said he found a faster way
00:24:01 ... and that maybe you should
00:24:03 I'm a little worried.
00:24:06 No, I'll take care of it. Thanks, Damon.
00:24:12 BUDD Y
00:24:13 I think Frank might've gone up
00:24:17 I'm just gonna make sure he's all right.
00:24:42 That's amazing.
00:24:44 I was just gonna call you,
00:24:47 Well, Damon told me you came up.
00:24:50 I thought maybe you could use a friend,
00:24:54 Anything on your mind?
00:24:56 This thin mountain air can give
00:25:01 Ain't that the truth. No, nothing
00:25:06 How about you?
00:25:07 - Me?
00:25:10 Not really, no.
00:25:17 Let's go for a boat ride.
00:25:26 So you finished with all those index cards?
00:25:29 Ha, ha. Hell, no.
00:25:32 It was in the cards to come up here
00:25:35 - What sort of something?
00:25:38 - How big?
00:25:41 Is the keyword here "life"?
00:25:44 - Could be. Definitely could be.
00:25:49 Don't I?
00:25:50 I mean, something you can't take back,
00:25:53 Oh, you mean something I'll regret.
00:25:56 You have to think of those who love you.
00:26:00 - Why my friends?
00:26:05 Oh, I'll give you that. Yeah.
00:26:07 One should always think
00:26:10 ...certain things.
00:26:12 That's profound of you, Buddy.
00:26:14 I suppose that "certain things"
00:26:17 - Wouldn't you think?
00:26:19 Exactly.
00:26:22 - Aren't we getting out a little far?
00:26:24 We're getting out a little far.
00:26:29 Frank? Buddy?
00:26:35 What the hell are we doing here, Frank?
00:26:37 - I think you know.
00:26:40 Yeah? Well, why don't you try
00:26:44 - Where the hell did you get that?
00:26:46 - I'm not shooting blanks this time.
00:26:49 - We can talk about this, can't we?
00:26:52 - Don't start whimpering now.
00:26:56 - Oh, that's generous of you.
00:27:00 Well, I would hope not!
00:27:02 Look, you can't do this to me,
00:27:05 - You're gonna have to shoot me first.
00:27:08 Give me that.
00:27:15 Come on.
00:27:16 Shooting me first
00:27:19 Oh, shit.
00:27:22 I don't think it's smart to put holes
00:27:25 But you're the one with the gun.
00:27:28 - Are you looking for something?
00:27:34 Son of a bitch!
00:27:38 Frank!
00:27:39 Frank! Frank, what the hell is going on?
00:27:44 Frank!
00:27:46 They're just dancing, Mommy.
00:27:49 Give me that.
00:27:54 We gotta get help, come on.
00:28:00 There! Go ahead, commit suicide now!
00:28:04 Suicide?
00:28:08 - Yeah.
00:28:11 You philandering, dumba... Murder!
00:28:16 I'm trying to commit murder! You idiot!
00:28:24 Yeah, yeah, a boat. Um...
00:28:27 l... I don't know.
00:28:29 Yeah, I heard a rifle shot.
00:28:33 Yeah. Yeah, okay.
00:28:36 Sweetie, I need you to stay in the cabin,
00:29:30 Yeah, don't worry, you still have
00:29:33 No, I wanna kill you!
00:29:39 Well, if I knew what you
00:29:45 That's understanding of you.
00:29:52 I'm sorry.
00:29:53 Fuck you.
00:30:09 Mrs. Allen, you best wait inside.
00:30:12 Have you found them yet?
00:30:13 When I know something, you'll know
00:30:26 Do you even know
00:30:29 There's a footbridge up ahead.
00:30:31 The cabin's a mile from that.
00:31:09 They're searching for us.
00:31:11 - How do they know we're here?
00:31:19 Do you love her?
00:31:23 Does it matter?
00:31:27 And Jesse?
00:31:33 She's just a kid.
00:31:35 What does that mean, Buddy?
00:31:39 I hardly know her.
00:31:47 What now?
00:31:54 I just, I thought if I did everything...
00:31:57 ...for the now,
00:32:00 ...and the past is who I am.
00:32:04 And I just, I don't... l...
00:32:08 How am I supposed to go back to Susan
00:32:15 Look. Uh, ahem.
00:32:20 I'm gonna disappear. Just, look,
00:32:24 No, Frank. No, I won't.
00:32:27 - Yeah. You owe me that!
00:32:29 Owe you? I don't owe you anything!
00:32:34 And you know what?
00:32:40 I wish Susan had picked me.
00:32:43 I wish Susan loved me.
00:32:45 I wish Jesse thought of me as her father.
00:32:49 But all they do is love you.
00:32:55 God, I even love you.
00:32:58 I'm cold, I'm wet, and I'm past feeling sad
00:33:02 So you know, stay out here if you want.
00:33:07 But I'm going back into the cabin
00:33:12 God.
00:33:57 I think we got one over here.
00:34:00 Somebody get a blanket!
00:34:23 Where's Mr. Allen?
00:34:28 It's complicated.
00:36:05 Daddy!
00:36:11 Daddy!
00:36:45 You ever hear of chaos theory, Ed?
00:36:48 It's a science.
00:36:50 It tries to determine underlying patterns
00:36:53 Weather, ocean currents, blood flow,
00:36:57 Well, it turns out
00:37:01 ...more chaotic than the beat
00:37:04 Speeding up, slowing down.
00:37:09 It's always changing depending
00:37:13 It's an erratic son of a bitch.
00:37:16 But underneath all of that bump-a-ta-bump
00:37:21 A truth.
00:37:23 And it's love.
00:37:25 The most important thing about love
00:37:29 ...and we choose to receive it.
00:37:32 Making it the least random act
00:37:36 It transcends blood,
00:37:39 ...and all the dirt that makes us human.
00:37:43 And if you can figure that out...
00:37:46 ...the Jake Lees of the world
00:37:49 Now, what's all this about?
00:37:51 Uh-oh.
00:37:52 Poor Ed, has Frank been torturing you
00:37:55 - Well, yes, ma'am.
00:37:58 I'll see you in there.
00:38:04 Thanks.
00:38:10 - Have you been bad?
00:38:18 A little bit.
00:38:20 Come on, let's go.
00:38:38 - You're beautiful.
00:38:42 Jake loves you very much.
00:38:43 - Ed.
00:39:17 Friends,
00:39:21 ...to share in a most important moment
00:39:26 In the time they've been together...
00:43:48 Subtitles by LeapinLar