Charlie Boots

en
00:00:45 MAN: Sorry, I just, um...
00:00:49 Um...
00:00:53 Mum, she had this amazing ability to...
00:00:56 ..to make people smile...
00:00:59 ..to forget their worries,
00:01:01 even if it was just for a few moments.
00:01:07 And Mum was always willing to...
00:01:10 ..to sacrifice her own needs
00:01:12 She gave up her job as a teacher
00:01:18 In fact, everything she did was...
00:01:25 and for her boys.
00:01:30 Sorry. Um...
00:01:33 Mum taught us many things.
00:01:35 She taught us respect, loyalty...
00:01:43 ..and she taught us forgiveness.
00:01:47 To Dad, she was his Gracie.
00:01:51 To Boots and l, she was, um...
00:01:55 ..she was...
00:01:57 ..she was Mum.
00:01:59 (GIRL GIGGLES)
00:02:00 MAN: And to my kids,
00:02:11 We love you, Mum.
00:02:12 (TEARFULLY)
00:02:47 Sympathies, mate.
00:03:12 - You finished with this?
00:03:18 I'll take those, love.
00:04:10 (KNOCK AT DOOR)
00:04:17 WOMAN: I thought you could use these.
00:04:19 MAN: Thanks.
00:04:36 (PHONE RINGS)
00:04:38 WOMAN: Hi. (CHUCKLES)
00:04:43 We're not here at the moment.
00:04:46 (ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS)
00:04:48 MAN: Hey. Dad. It's. uh...
00:04:53 I. um. guess we're going to
00:04:56 Oh. look. um. Dad. I know we haven't
00:05:02 but. I. um... I don 't know.
00:05:04 I think we've got to try.
00:05:38 (PLAYS NOTES ON PIANO)
00:06:16 - Hey.
00:06:18 MAN: You come to do
00:06:22 BOOTS: How's Dad getting on?
00:06:23 He's alright.
00:06:26 Never answers his phone.
00:06:29 Nah, he's alright.
00:06:32 How's the kids?
00:06:34 Yeah, good.
00:06:35 And Mel?
00:06:37 She's alright.
00:06:42 - Has Dad been getting out at all?
00:06:46 Gotta get him out doing something.
00:06:48 He can help me milk the cows
00:06:52 OK. Better go see how he is.
00:07:05 BOOTS: Dad?
00:07:08 Hey, Dad, it's me.
00:07:13 CHARLIE: So you remembered
00:07:16 BOOTS: Dad, what are you doing?
00:07:19 It's bloody dark in here.
00:07:28 Should have the telly on.
00:07:30 RICHIE BENAUD: (ON TV) Batted
00:07:33 And then the 100 the other day.
00:07:37 I thought he was magnificent.
00:07:39 (TV BROADCAST CONTINUES
00:07:46 MAN: (ON TV) The loss. what it means...
00:08:22 MAN: (ON TV) There's been
00:08:24 there's been some fantastic leadership
00:08:26 I think he needs to take
00:08:29 There were moments throughout
00:08:31 (TV BROADCAST CONTINUES
00:08:37 (CATTLE LOW, BIRDS CHIRP)
00:09:07 .. not just the one here today.
00:09:09 He batted sensibly today. used his head.
00:09:22 I don't know. Get Nigel to cover
00:09:26 I don't know. Uh, a week?
00:09:28 I don't know. Maybe two.
00:09:41 - CHARLIE: Hey, I was watching that.
00:09:43 - No, turn it back on.
00:09:45 - I'm not going anywhere.
00:09:47 We're going fishing.
00:09:49 CHARLIE: Fishing? Since when
00:09:55 CHARLIE: I can open
00:09:57 BOOTS: Yeah, I know.
00:10:08 BOOTS: Oh, for Christ's sake.
00:10:10 Dad, are you coming?
00:10:13 CHARLIE: I can bloody walk.
00:10:15 BOOTS: Just get in the car.
00:10:43 CHARLIE: What are we doing now?
00:10:45 BOOTS: I'm just gonna grab
00:10:50 I thought we were going fishing.
00:10:54 We are, Dad.
00:11:09 CHARLIE: Where are you going?
00:11:13 BOOTS: Yeah, we're, uh...we're not
00:11:16 CHARLIE: Why not? It's the only
00:11:19 Yeah, we're, uh...not actually
00:11:24 What?
00:11:27 Do you remember when I was little,
00:11:30 we'd go and cast a line off
00:11:33 No.
00:11:34 Well, we're doing it.
00:11:36 What do you mean?
00:11:38 I mean we're doing it.
00:11:41 Have you lost your mind?
00:11:43 (CHUCKLES) Yep.
00:11:45 (TURNS ON RADIO)
00:11:48 CHARLIE: Well, that's the dumbest
00:11:50 Typical of you
00:11:53 You're a dickhead. Cape York's,
00:11:57 BOOTS: Yep, and it will be even further
00:11:58 if you don't start studying that map.
00:12:01 (UPBEAT ROCK SONG PLAYS
00:12:14 CHARLIE: Alright, then, where are we?
00:12:17 Well, Warrnambool's about there.
00:12:21 I bloody know that. Where are we going?
00:12:25 - Well, we're about here.
00:12:29 Cape York's all the way up there.
00:12:35 Well, that's...that's just stupid.
00:12:38 Yeah.
00:12:40 It'll be fun. Don't you reckon?
00:12:43 (UPBEAT SONG
00:13:11 What the hell is that?
00:13:29 Dad. Dad.
00:13:33 Have a look at this little ripper.
00:13:44 It's the Big Koala. (LAUGHS)
00:13:47 Better have a look, eh?
00:13:54 You coming?
00:13:55 Uh, no, I can see it from here, son.
00:13:58 Alright. I'm going to go inside.
00:14:03 (CHUCKLES)
00:14:31 BOOTS: "There was a young fella
00:14:33 "Who took out his balls to wash 'em
00:14:36 "His wife said, "Jack,
00:14:39 "I'll jump on the buggers
00:14:44 Remember telling me that?
00:14:55 BOOTS: "In the heart of rich farming land
00:14:58 "Maryborough is famous
00:15:01 "and was settled in the 1830s."
00:15:03 CHARLIE: You gonna be like this
00:15:05 - BOOTS: What do you mean?
00:15:07 BOOTS: I just thought
00:15:09 to, I don't know,
00:15:11 CHARLIE: Really? Why?
00:15:13 BOOTS: Just because.
00:15:15 Oh, well, don't worry about it, then.
00:15:17 CHARLIE: OK.
00:15:25 They're on their way to Warrnambool.
00:15:27 Just telling them all the stuff
00:15:29 Pity we won't be home.
00:15:33 Well, maybe we should head back.
00:15:35 (CHUCKLES)
00:15:36 No, I'm serious.
00:15:38 I'm, um, worried about the farm.
00:15:40 Don't be. I spoke to Graeme.
00:15:43 He said to have a good time.
00:15:46 Yeah, well, at least
00:15:53 Jeez, Dad, you got enough salt on those?
00:15:55 I don't want me veins
00:15:58 I'm serious, Dad. You've got to
00:16:11 Echuca's probably the go tonight,
00:16:15 You can have a look in the brochures
00:16:20 Hey, fresh strawberries.
00:16:25 WOMAN: Small punnets $3,
00:16:28 BOOTS: Family size?
00:16:30 I think we might need one of them.
00:16:32 Don't you think so, Dad?
00:16:35 Huh?
00:16:37 Actually, I think we'll get
00:16:39 No worries.
00:16:42 So which way are you headed?
00:16:44 Uh, headed up north to Cape York, but
00:16:48 - Do you want anything else, Dad?
00:16:51 Well, enjoy.
00:16:54 Yeah, will do. Thank you very much.
00:16:56 Don't eat them all at once.
00:16:58 BOOTS: (LAUGHS) We'll try not to.
00:17:02 BOOTS: Eh? This is the life.
00:17:04 The open road with my dad, fresh fruit.
00:17:08 Does it get any better than this?
00:17:12 What was that?
00:17:14 That looks interesting.
00:17:33 Must be glad you bought
00:17:36 You could help.
00:17:37 Nah, never fancied strawberries much.
00:17:40 BOOTS: And she asked!
00:17:43 And she said,
00:17:48 (GROANS)
00:17:51 BOOTS: Paddle Wheel.
00:17:54 Sing out, Dad, if you see one you like.
00:17:56 The Georgian Motor Lodge.
00:17:59 This looks like us.
00:18:17 (WHISTLES) This is alright, isn't it?
00:18:20 Here, pick a bed, Dad. I'm just
00:18:29 Bloody hell, Dad.
00:18:31 (CHUCKLES) Look at that. There's even
00:18:35 Gee whiz! I could do with
00:18:40 (TOILET FLUSHES)
00:18:42 Dad?
00:18:47 Dad?
00:18:50 Dad... Oh, shit.
00:18:52 CHARLIE: Oi!
00:18:53 Where you off to?
00:19:02 You know, I honestly thought you'd left.
00:19:06 On that bus.
00:19:07 Yeah, well, I thought about it,
00:19:11 but it was only the courtesy bus
00:19:16 And, of course,
00:19:19 Oh, did something die in here?
00:19:23 Shouldn't have eaten
00:19:26 CHARLIE: Eugh.
00:19:28 (SIGHS)
00:19:32 (BOOTS SNORES)
00:19:44 (BOOTS SNUFFLES)
00:19:53 (BOOTS RESUMES SNORING)
00:20:11 Good morning. Breakfast.
00:20:16 "Sun, stars, steam
00:20:19 - What's your problem?
00:20:23 CHARLIE: Ah. Yeah, well,
00:20:26 Come on, Dad.
00:20:28 CHARLIE: Paddle steamer -
00:20:30 it turns around, comes back down again.
00:20:32 What's the point?
00:20:33 BOOTS: Why are you
00:20:35 CHARLIE: I'm not being difficult.
00:20:37 I'm saying that if you
00:20:40 I just don't go in
00:20:42 - Oi!
00:20:44 Hang on! It's a Holden museum!
00:20:49 Kids, who can tell me
00:20:51 made with a left-hand drive?
00:20:54 The FB.
00:20:56 MAN: Thank you, sir,
00:21:10 - Ah! Paddle steamer.
00:21:15 Looks like fun.
00:21:22 CHARLIE: Ah! New South Wales.
00:21:24 Across the border.
00:21:28 - BOOTS: Can you drive for a bit?
00:21:31 BOOTS: Why do I have to
00:21:33 CHARLIE: You don't have to.
00:21:34 BOOTS: Alright, if I drive
00:21:37 then will you drive?
00:21:38 - CHARLIE: No.
00:21:46 (WOMAN SHOUTS)
00:21:51 MAN: Come on!
00:21:56 (DOG BARKS)
00:21:58 (SHEEP BLEAT)
00:22:06 I don't mind sheep.
00:22:08 Really? I didn't know that.
00:22:11 Oh, yeah. Came up here once
00:22:15 Worked for a month or two
00:22:19 We had cattle and sheep.
00:22:23 BOOTS: Why didn't you?
00:22:25 CHARLIE: Oh, well,
00:22:28 and, you know, I couldn't turn
00:22:31 And I didn't want to let my father down.
00:22:36 And, of course, I met your mum.
00:23:03 BOOTS: "Hay. Population 2, 932.
00:23:09 "Hay's in the Southern Riverina
00:23:12 "in a semiarid grazing area
00:23:16 You're not gonna stop this, are you?
00:23:18 It's Australia, Dad. It's fascinating.
00:23:20 I can shut up if you want me to.
00:23:23 BOOTS: Hey, look at this.
00:23:24 It was also home to 3,000 POWs
00:23:27 - Oh, shit! Look out!
00:23:29 BOOTS: Hang on, hang on!
00:23:31 CHARLIE: What, is she a stunt driver?
00:23:35 (CHARLIE BEEPS HORN
00:23:37 - Hey, Dad, Dad...
00:23:40 Dad, just relax. We're OK.
00:23:41 - CHARLIE: Could've been killed.
00:23:45 - Truck full of white leghorns.
00:23:48 Tell her to get some driving lessons.
00:23:50 Yeah, I will.
00:23:51 Sorry. It's OK. You just kinda
00:23:56 Did l?
00:24:00 Really?
00:24:01 Tell her...tell her to get some glasses!
00:24:04 You need glasses
00:24:06 BOOTS: Sorry. My dad,
00:24:08 He's...a little bit...
00:24:10 ..kinda hung up, that's all.
00:24:12 Yeah, it's the shock from the accident.
00:24:15 Dad, just shut up.
00:24:16 Whole life rushed before me eyes.
00:24:18 Ehh...
00:24:20 It was pretty boring.
00:24:21 What is it with you Victorians?
00:24:24 MAN: Everything alright, Edna?
00:24:26 Yeah. I can handle this.
00:24:30 (TRUCK DRIVER TOOTS HORN)
00:24:32 You're just lucky you're not a bloke.
00:24:35 For fuck's sake Dad, just shut up!
00:24:38 Just...
00:24:39 We should...
00:24:42 Yeah. I think perhaps
00:24:45 You should take that old man with you.
00:24:46 Get some driving lessons off the nuns.
00:24:49 Clown.
00:24:52 (STARTS ENGINE)
00:24:54 - Man, you're something else.
00:24:58 You should get some L-plates.
00:25:05 - What is wrong with you?
00:25:10 (SIGHS)
00:25:25 (KOOKABURRA CACKLES)
00:25:26 (KOOKABURRA CACKLES)
00:25:35 Hello.
00:25:37 Hi.
00:25:45 (TALKBACK RADIO PLAYS SOFTLY)
00:25:55 WOMAN: (ON RADIO) I have no doubt.
00:25:58 - (BOOTS YAWNS)
00:26:00 You're with Ryan Miles
00:26:02 After Prince Charles's
00:26:05 we're discussing
00:26:08 Deirdre. you had a confession
00:26:12 (TURNS OFF ENGINE)
00:26:15 Just filling up, Dad.
00:26:19 Get me a sarsaparilla, will you, Boots?
00:26:21 Yeah.
00:26:26 RYAN MILES: (ON RADIO, LAUGHS)
00:26:28 But I must say you were brilliant
00:26:31 DEIRDRE: I know. The poor thing.
00:26:33 RYAN: Well. next we have
00:26:35 CHARLIE: (ON RADIO) Yeah. g'day.
00:26:37 Yeah. this one's about my son.
00:26:39 Let's call him...Slippers. Yep.
00:26:42 Now. one day when he was about 14.
00:26:47 I opened the door and...
00:26:50 Yeah. buffin' the bazooka.
00:26:52 RYAN: I'm sorry?
00:26:53 Chokin' the goose.
00:26:55 RYAN: Oh. well. um...
00:26:57 CHARLIE: Hammering the hamster.
00:26:59 RYAN: Yes...yes. thanks. Charlie.
00:27:02 CHARLIE: Oh. you couldn't miss it.
00:27:06 RYAN: (AWKWARDLY) Thank you.
00:27:07 CHARLIE: Well, this is interesting.
00:27:10 I'm not talking to you.
00:27:12 "The yellow-rumped pardalote,
00:27:16 "can occasionally be spotted
00:27:21 (YELLS) Pig!
00:27:22 What?
00:27:24 That was a bit rough.
00:27:25 - I was just...
00:27:27 BOOTS: Arggh!
00:27:28 (BOOTS CURSES AND YELLS)
00:27:32 CHARLIE: Ahh, brake! Jesus!
00:27:39 CHARLIE: Oh!
00:27:46 Whoa.
00:27:47 (RATTLING)
00:27:52 Thanks for stopping.
00:27:55 Thought I was gonna be
00:27:57 BOOTS: No worries.
00:27:59 Where are you headed?
00:28:01 To, uh, Cape York. To go fishing.
00:28:04 Is that anywhere near Tamworth?
00:28:06 Well, Tamworth's on the way.
00:28:10 Cape York's on
00:28:13 Oh, cool.
00:28:18 (STARTS ENGINE)
00:28:26 CHARLIE:
00:28:28 My boyfriend was taking me
00:28:32 And he cracked it and kicked me out.
00:28:35 Why did he do that?
00:28:37 Um, he wanted me to do things to him
00:28:41 And he begged, and I said no,
00:28:44 and then he kicked me out. (CHUCKLES)
00:28:47 Yep, sounds like an arsehole to me.
00:28:51 So, how far's this Cape York?
00:28:53 It's about 2,500 k's.
00:28:55 When I was young,
00:28:58 so we're doing it now.
00:29:00 That's so great. I'm Jess.
00:29:02 I'm Charlie. And this is Boots.
00:29:06 How you goin'?
00:29:09 Charlie and Boots.
00:29:11 CHARLIE: Pretty cool, eh?
00:29:13 (LAUGHS)
00:29:24 Oh, well, he's out.
00:29:26 He's so cute.
00:29:28 (CHUCKLES) I suppose.
00:29:32 Do you love him?
00:29:35 Well, yeah, he's my dad.
00:29:39 I mean, we've had
00:29:42 ..I don't know,
00:29:47 Well, there's my brother, but...
00:29:51 Your mum?
00:29:52 No, she...she died last month.
00:29:56 JESS: That must be awful.
00:29:58 I don't know what I'd do if my mum died.
00:30:01 I never got to meet my dad.
00:30:06 JESS: You're not married?
00:30:07 BOOTS: Oh, I was.
00:30:11 Mum and Dad were married
00:30:14 He must miss her.
00:30:15 Yeah.
00:30:18 Here I am, I couldn't even manage
00:30:21 What happened?
00:30:24 Uh...Therese, my wife...
00:30:28 I don't know, I guess I was just
00:30:32 She was a city girl.
00:30:34 Mum and Dad tried
00:30:37 but I told them
00:30:41 ..and...with what happened...
00:30:44 ..uh...
00:30:47 Did you have any kids?
00:30:49 Yeah, a little boy. Ben.
00:30:56 You know, I reckon
00:31:01 Yeah, I'm not really...
00:31:08 JESS: So you live on the farm
00:31:10 BOOTS: No, my little brother
00:31:12 Me and my wife moved away, so...
00:31:16 Can you not go back?
00:31:19 No.
00:31:21 I mean, I love the farm,
00:31:23 But I don't know, things just
00:31:27 Plus, it wouldn't really be fair,
00:31:32 Which I know disappoints my dad.
00:31:40 JESS: Why are you called Boots?
00:31:42 BOOTS: My mum was a real character.
00:31:45 I mean, what you might
00:31:48 You know, she was into
00:31:51 and one day in a moment of inspiration
00:31:54 she decided to name me
00:31:57 Dad never really
00:32:00 so he's always called me Boots.
00:32:02 Who was the singer?
00:32:03 (CHUCKLES)
00:32:05 - Dean Martin?
00:32:08 (CHUCKLES) Frank Sinatra?
00:32:10 (LAUGHS)
00:32:12 Fred Astaire?
00:32:14 - No, he was a dancer.
00:32:16 Um...
00:32:23 I'm not gonna tell you.
00:32:25 Sorry about that one, son.
00:32:27 Another argument I lost
00:32:29 (LAUGHS)
00:32:31 He's awake.
00:32:33 - Morning, Charlie.
00:32:37 BOOTS: It's starting
00:32:39 Maybe we should
00:32:41 OK, well, maybe you can drop me
00:32:44 We can take you the rest of the way
00:32:46 - I really can't afford to pay...
00:32:49 Me and Dad can get you a room,
00:32:52 Oh, sure. Not gonna just drop you
00:32:55 Thank you.
00:32:58 (COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYS)
00:33:08 (SINGS) # Giddy-up!
00:33:20 # She's a wild horse and I wanna ride
00:33:25 # She's a full moon
00:33:30 Wow.
00:33:32 (GRUNTS)
00:33:35 You should not be eating that.
00:33:36 What?
00:33:38 Chips, potato cakes and dim sims.
00:33:42 Chips - made from potatoes.
00:33:44 Good for ya.
00:33:46 Potato cakes - name says it all.
00:33:49 And dim sims -
00:33:51 finely minced stuff
00:33:53 wrapped in whatever it is
00:33:56 You know it's no good for you.
00:33:59 She's eating it.
00:34:03 - Yeah, she's not nearly 70.
00:34:06 Mmm. Clever buggers, them Chinese.
00:34:10 Enjoy.
00:34:12 SINGER: # She's got me
00:34:17 # Open up the gate, baby
00:34:22 # You can buck and twist
00:34:26 # Giddy-up, giddy-up... #
00:34:28 He worries about you.
00:34:30 Yeah. I know.
00:34:36 I'm sorry to hear about Grace.
00:34:40 Yeah.
00:34:41 She sounds awesome.
00:34:44 Awesome.
00:34:46 Yeah, Gracie...
00:34:48 Yeah, she was something else.
00:34:53 Are you OK?
00:34:55 Oh, yeah.
00:34:58 I think it's great
00:35:00 I would've loved
00:35:03 Not that I have any idea how to fish.
00:35:05 Ahh.
00:35:07 I think he'd have loved it too.
00:35:08 Yeah, I reckon he would.
00:35:22 Well, that's me done.
00:35:24 You reckon they'd have
00:35:26 Oh, yeah, I'll have some of that.
00:35:28 - Excuse me. Dance! Come on.
00:35:31 Come on. You can come too.
00:35:34 SINGER: # Unbridled love
00:35:39 # We're just tossing around
00:35:42 # Giddy-up, giddy-up
00:35:45 # Cowgirl, let's raise some hell
00:35:48 # Saddle up, bring it on
00:35:51 # Honey, let's take it to the bell
00:35:53 # Giddy-up, giddy-up
00:35:56 - # Cowgirl, let's raise some hell... #
00:35:59 # Saddle up, saddle up
00:36:00 # Buckle up, buckle up
00:36:02 # Honey, let's take it to the bell
00:36:05 # I'm man enough
00:36:07 # Ohh, so giddy-up
00:36:15 # Giddy-up... #
00:36:21 (SNORING)
00:36:24 (GIGGLES)
00:36:29 (SNORING CONTINUES)
00:36:33 (BIRDS CHIRP)
00:36:53 - Come on.
00:36:55 - Come on, they'll survive!
00:37:00 (HORN BEEPS, ENGINE REVS)
00:37:03 (JESS GIGGLES)
00:37:12 What's that?
00:37:16 Oh, it's from Jess!
00:37:18 BOOTS: I hope she knows
00:37:20 CHARLIE: Ah, she'll be right.
00:37:21 She's pretty switched on
00:37:23 - What are you doing?
00:37:25 I mean, to what do I owe the pleasure?
00:37:27 I'm always happy to drive.
00:37:29 Really?
00:37:31 All you had to do was ask.
00:37:34 Uh-huh.
00:37:37 (BIG-BAND SWING MUSIC PLAYS)
00:37:53 Smile.
00:37:55 - (CHUCKLES)
00:37:58 BOOTS: Bloody hell, Dad.
00:38:01 Sorry, Boots.
00:38:07 What are we doing?
00:38:25 Charlie!
00:38:27 And Julio!
00:38:29 I haven't seen you since
00:38:36 Hey, Mac, your cousin Charlie
00:38:40 - Oh, it's so good to see you!
00:38:43 How long's it been?
00:38:45 WOMAN: Oh, I don't know. About three
00:38:50 BOOTS: Well, I'm 176 now.
00:38:53 WOMAN: And how's your dad been
00:38:56 Well, we're gettin' there.
00:38:58 Oh, it was just shocking, darl.
00:39:01 No, it was just awful.
00:39:07 Might get a drop of rain.
00:39:12 Yeah.
00:39:15 It'd be good.
00:39:18 Good.
00:39:23 And how's the gorgeous Theresa?
00:39:25 Therese - yeah, we're
00:39:28 Oh, no, love. That's no good.
00:39:31 Oh, wait a sec.
00:39:33 - Did your mum tell me that?
00:39:35 Oh, I am sorry.
00:39:37 - Theresa was beautiful, wasn't she?
00:39:40 I mean, like, really beautiful,
00:39:44 Must've been tough, though, when...
00:39:47 Oh, you've certainly
00:39:50 - Oh, well, onwards and upwards.
00:39:53 It all gets easier with time.
00:39:56 And I'm sure you'll find someone else.
00:39:58 Looks aren't everything.
00:40:01 Hey, you boys! Lunch!
00:40:08 - BOOTS: They're nice.
00:40:13 She hates a chat.
00:40:16 BOOTS: Dad, I'm not saying
00:40:20 I'm just saying Muhammad Ali,
00:40:22 CHARLIE: Oh, yeah,
00:40:24 but nobody ever hit harder than Tyson.
00:40:26 CHARLIE: Oh, look. Fresh strawberries.
00:40:29 BOOTS: Shut up, Dad.
00:40:30 Are you saying Pamela Anderson's ugly?
00:40:32 CHARLIE: She runs
00:40:34 BOOTS: And you don't
00:40:36 CHARLIE:..with that
00:40:38 BOOTS: Hasselhoff.
00:40:41 No.
00:40:43 I don't believe it.
00:40:51 CHARLIE: Hello!
00:40:53 (SIGHS) Well, it's official -
00:40:56 What did he do this time?
00:40:58 More of the same. What is it with boys?
00:41:02 Where's your guitar?
00:41:04 Still in the back.
00:41:06 - JESS: There's Tristan! Again!
00:41:08 - JESS: Yeah.
00:41:27 I can't believe I fell for that jerk.
00:41:29 Oh, don't worry about it.
00:41:32 His bumper sticker should've been
00:41:40 BOOTS: Can you see him?
00:41:42 Ah, could be anywhere by now.
00:41:46 There he is!
00:41:49 What are you doing?
00:41:51 BOOTS: There we go.
00:41:53 Don't worry, you'll get
00:42:02 BOOTS: Jess, grab your guitar.
00:42:09 Oh, shit. It's not there.
00:42:15 Hey, it's here in the front seat.
00:42:18 Bugger.
00:42:20 Boots, keep an eye on him.
00:42:23 You got a wire coathanger?
00:42:27 TRISTAN: Give me some ginger beer,
00:42:31 How about this?
00:42:39 - Wait, wait, wait.
00:42:44 G'day.
00:42:59 (WHISPERS) Oh, shit.
00:43:05 - JESS: Have you done that before?
00:43:08 - Really?
00:43:18 JESS: Are you sure you've done this?
00:43:20 CHARLIE: Yeah. Yeah.
00:43:22 - Really?
00:43:25 You'd better be quick -
00:43:30 How you goin'?
00:43:36 - CHARLIE: We need something else.
00:43:38 CHARLIE: Oi!
00:43:39 (ALARM BLARES)
00:43:45 Quick! Get in the car!
00:43:51 TRISTAN: (YELLS) Hey! Hey! Hey!
00:43:56 (ALL LAUGH)
00:44:23 Tamworth - the country music capital
00:44:26 I can't believe it. I'm finally here.
00:44:30 Jess, you do know that Tamworth's
00:44:32 I mean, other than the music festival,
00:44:34 the rest of the year
00:44:37 It's a city, actually.
00:44:38 But yeah, I know.
00:44:42 Oh, wow! There it is.
00:44:54 Thank you.
00:44:55 Our pleasure.
00:44:57 - You gonna be OK?
00:44:59 Who knows - the next time you see me,
00:45:03 CHARLIE: We're counting on it.
00:45:06 - What's wrong with today?
00:45:09 Come with me.
00:45:21 Ooh! What are you doing?
00:45:24 It’s not what I'm doing,
00:45:26 - I can't do that.
00:45:28 You'll be fine. Come on.
00:45:30 JESS: There might be people in there.
00:45:32 BOOTS: Let's find out.
00:45:34 - WOMAN: G'day.
00:45:36 Just here to see...Trevor.
00:45:39 Yeah, I've got the tools.
00:45:45 We're all good.
00:45:50 Whoa.
00:45:54 Go on.
00:45:59 BOOTS: (WHISPERS) Sit over here.
00:46:10 I might be a bit rusty.
00:46:19 (PLAYS GENTLE INTRO)
00:46:37 (SINGS) # Well, you're
00:46:40 # And I bet you're feeling old by now
00:46:46 # The sun has gone out
00:46:48 # And you must find a way
00:46:56 # And I will be here
00:47:04 # Nothing will get in the way
00:47:08 # 'Cause I would drop everything
00:47:12 # Just to see you
00:47:17 # I would jump in the sea
00:47:22 # If you told me
00:47:26 # I would follow you round
00:47:31 # That's what it takes to win your love
00:47:37 # 'Cause I would drop everything
00:47:42 # Just to see you. #
00:47:51 Yeah! Jess!
00:47:53 - (CHARLIE WHISTLES)
00:47:57 Whoo! Whoo!
00:47:59 (CHUCKLES)
00:48:04 CHARLIE: She'll go
00:48:05 BOOTS: Yeah. Yeah,
00:48:21 CHARLIE: Ah, Tenterfield.
00:48:22 Situated in the gently rolling hills
00:48:27 Of course, no reference to Tenterfield
00:48:31 without a mention
00:48:35 world-renowned philatelist
00:48:40 who for many years
00:48:43 of the historic Tenterfield Post Office.
00:48:45 (BOOTS CHUCKLES)
00:48:47 CHARLIE: And, of course,
00:48:49 the legendary
00:49:01 BOOTS: They're good.
00:49:04 Good.
00:49:06 (PHONE RINGS)
00:49:08 - That's you.
00:49:12 (SIGHS)
00:49:15 Oh, it's work.
00:49:17 Hang on a tick.
00:49:20 BOOTS: Hello.
00:49:22 Yeah, g'day, mate. How you going?
00:49:25 Yeah, good.
00:49:27 What, now? Er, Tenterfield.
00:49:31 Nah. Still on our way up.
00:49:33 Yeah, sort of northern
00:49:38 Yeah, I understand that but, er...
00:49:41 What?
00:49:43 Well, it's just something
00:49:47 Well, I'll pick me stuff up
00:49:51 Alright.
00:49:53 Yeah, alright. Bye.
00:50:21 (TRAIN HORN BLARES
00:50:30 Everything OK?
00:50:32 Yeah. Yeah, of course.
00:50:34 - No worries.
00:50:39 Have you heard from Therese lately?
00:50:43 Yeah, every now and then.
00:50:47 What did she want?
00:50:50 I don't know. Nothing, really.
00:50:54 - What was her problem?
00:50:57 Well, you did everything
00:51:02 Yeah, well, when something
00:51:06 ..you know, what did happen,
00:51:09 I don't know, people just
00:51:12 Yeah, well, it's for better
00:51:16 You can't just then go off
00:51:19 Dad, that's not fair.
00:51:21 You wouldn't let us be.
00:51:26 She wants to get back together.
00:51:28 What? Do you want to?
00:51:31 Nah. How do you go back?
00:51:36 Would you like to?
00:51:40 Nah, I can't.
00:51:46 You were so lucky to have Mum.
00:51:49 Yeah, well, nothing's perfect.
00:51:52 - What?
00:51:56 Are you saying you and Mum did?
00:52:03 Do you remember Gavin O'Connor?
00:52:05 The school principal? Yeah.
00:52:08 Yeah, well, when you was a kid, your
00:52:15 staying out late at night
00:52:19 Hmm.
00:52:21 Anyway, one night, I followed her.
00:52:25 And she went to Gavin's place.
00:52:26 What?
00:52:29 Just about killed me.
00:52:31 Did you confront them?
00:52:34 Nah.
00:52:36 I was too scared of losing her.
00:52:41 I never told anyone that.
00:52:51 Not long after that,
00:52:58 Nah, she loved you, Dad.
00:53:00 I mean, she...she adored you.
00:53:06 Yeah, I know. I know.
00:53:31 You kids were like that.
00:53:33 CHARLIE: Especially you.
00:53:36 You were a little bugger.
00:53:39 You were always 10m out in front of us,
00:53:41 running and skipping
00:53:47 CHARLIE: (LAUGHS) Oh, you were
00:54:03 CHARLIE: You OK, mate?
00:54:15 I'm gonna go for a walk.
00:54:27 CHARLIE: You think
00:54:31 BOOTS: Yeah. I think so.
00:54:36 CHARLIE: You should, you know.
00:54:38 You can either let what happened...
00:54:43 ..beat you...
00:54:45 ..or you can try and overcome it.
00:54:49 Hmm. Yeah.
00:54:52 You shouldn't wait too long.
00:54:55 Time waits for no man...
00:54:58 ..and very few women.
00:55:03 Yeah, well, obviously
00:55:06 - Hmm?
00:55:10 That shouldn't be too hard.
00:55:17 Sleep tight.
00:55:21 BOOTS: Yeah. Goodnight, Dad.
00:55:38 - What are you up to?
00:55:40 I don't know. You're up to something.
00:55:43 Oh! I'm just having me breakfast.
00:55:45 Yeah, right.
00:55:46 Oh, excuse me, love.
00:55:50 My son here, Boots,
00:55:53 if I thought you were married or not
00:55:55 and I said to him,
00:55:58 Yes, I am. Sorry.
00:56:00 Oh, told you.
00:56:02 Aww! You'll find someone.
00:56:06 Yeah, thanks.
00:56:10 - (THUD!)
00:56:12 What? What?
00:56:14 Oh.
00:56:17 Oh, excuse me, love.
00:56:19 Yes?
00:56:20 My son Boots here, that strapping
00:56:26 - Oh, what's your pleasure, love?
00:56:29 There you go.
00:56:30 Thanks, darl.
00:56:32 Oh, all part of the service.
00:56:35 - Here's your change.
00:56:37 And, um, this is our card.
00:56:40 It's got the phone number on it,
00:56:49 Thanks.
00:56:54 BOOTS: Look, Dad, all I'm saying
00:56:57 Well, we both know
00:56:59 Alright, well, put it this way -
00:57:01 I certainly don't need
00:57:03 Hey, she gave you
00:57:05 Yeah, but I didn't ask for it.
00:57:07 That's what I'm for.
00:57:08 No, Dad, that's not
00:57:10 From now on, stay in the car
00:57:13 (UNIMPRESSED) Oh!
00:57:18 So, it turns out I'm good
00:57:28 Eugh.
00:57:29 You alright, Dad?
00:57:31 Just get past this truck, son.
00:57:33 (TRUCK HORN TOOTS)
00:57:36 (HORN CONTINUES TOOTING)
00:58:07 - Dad?
00:58:12 WOMAN: G'day, Wes, boys.
00:58:16 Dad?
00:58:18 Boots, here.
00:58:19 What the...?
00:58:25 Quick.
00:58:27 - G'day, mate.
00:58:29 Where will I find that great
00:58:32 My dad?
00:58:34 Your dad? Yeah, must be.
00:58:37 My dad? Now, let me think.
00:58:42 I mean, he couldn't be far away.
00:58:44 I mean, he was here, like, a minute ago.
00:58:47 My dad?
00:58:53 Hmm... Oh, hang on.
00:59:00 Oh, here it is. Found her. The cup we...
00:59:04 Oh, hello, love.
00:59:07 (BOOTS AND CHARLIE LAUGH)
00:59:10 You're good with the ladies?
00:59:14 Well, you know, I'm a dairy farmer
00:59:17 (BOTH LAUGH)
00:59:18 BOOTS: You should have seen you,
00:59:20 trying to bend in there
00:59:22 trying to get in a matchbox.
00:59:24 CHARLIE: Good thinking,
00:59:26 BOOTS: A foam cup, eh? She wouldn't
00:59:29 (BOTH LAUGH)
00:59:34 - There you go, fellas.
00:59:36 Where are you heading?
00:59:38 We're thinking about
00:59:41 and then all the way up to the Cape.
00:59:43 Oh, no worries.
00:59:44 Most people take the Roma road
00:59:50 swears by the road straight north
00:59:52 and then you cut across
00:59:56 That's about 100 k's north of here.
00:59:58 Then get on to
01:00:00 He reckons it saves
01:00:05 Sounds good to me. You know what
01:00:11 It's a good road?
01:00:12 Yeah. Yeah.
01:00:14 A bit of gravel,
01:00:17 No worries. Thanks for that.
01:01:21 Beautiful country
01:01:23 Yeah.
01:01:33 Which was the road she said to take?
01:01:38 Actually, I think this is it
01:01:40 Mongans Lane. This is it here.
01:02:08 BOOTS: Wow! Look at that.
01:02:11 The sky looks amazing.
01:02:15 BOOTS: Bugger.
01:02:21 BOOTS: It's not too bad.
01:02:23 CHARLIE: Can you fix it?
01:02:25 No. I haven't got any tools.
01:02:28 CHARLIE: What do you expect?
01:02:30 You set off on some harebrained
01:02:33 I haven't got a spare
01:02:36 CHARLIE: You're a bloody dickhead.
01:02:38 You knew we were coming up here.
01:02:41 BOOTS: Well, it wasn't exactly
01:02:44 CHARLIE: Oh, bloody useless.
01:02:46 What sort of an idiot
01:02:50 Me, Dad. Me.
01:02:53 I mean, I'm not Graeme.
01:02:55 I mean, I'm doing my best here, Dad,
01:02:59 I don't know what you want.
01:03:07 I want your mum back.
01:03:17 Well, I can't do anything
01:03:21 I mean, the same as I couldn't
01:03:26 I want to go home.
01:03:28 BOOTS: To do what, Dad? What?
01:03:29 Sit in the dark
01:03:31 Fuck, Dad! It wouldn't hurt
01:03:35 But you just cut yourself off.
01:03:40 You did it... I mean, you did it
01:03:44 You went on and on to me
01:03:48 about, you know,
01:03:50 And what are you doing?
01:03:57 You know, Dad, let's not pretend
01:04:01 Really!
01:04:03 Dad, my heart nearly stopped
01:04:06 and I have struggled every day...
01:04:10 I've got to tell you the truth -
01:04:14 I mean, Mum was there when he died.
01:04:17 I mean, how did that happen?
01:04:19 I mean, she was looking after him.
01:04:22 I mean, they were playing
01:04:27 Your mum struggled with that
01:04:34 I'd go to sleep at night
01:04:35 and wake up to her crying her eyes out.
01:04:40 I would have liked to cry with her too
01:04:43 but someone has to say
01:04:46 and "You'll feel better tomorrow"
01:04:52 and whatever other pathetic bullshit
01:04:57 You know Therese, I mean,
01:05:02 And I got to be honest, Dad -
01:05:12 And you know what really gets me,
01:05:18 I never got to tell Mum
01:05:23 CHARLIE: Oh, mate, she knew that.
01:05:25 I promise you, she knew.
01:05:29 BOOTS: (MUTTERS) I need to cry.
01:05:40 CHARLIE: I'll never forget
01:05:44 It was the footy club dance
01:05:50 Oh, she was something.
01:05:54 She was the new school teacher
01:05:56 and every bloke in town was after her.
01:05:59 I remember Gary Flood,
01:06:04 Joey Twigg...
01:06:05 (CHUCKLES)..in fact,
01:06:07 was lined up waiting
01:06:12 I thought to myself,
01:06:14 "lf I don't make a move now,
01:06:18 As luck happened,
01:06:22 sidestepped my way through
01:06:27 And she said yes.
01:06:30 Then the music started
01:06:33 and it was the bloody tangoette.
01:06:35 Tangoette?
01:06:37 CHARLIE: The dance of love.
01:06:39 Oh, tough one.
01:06:41 Oh. (SIGHS)
01:06:44 Anyway, the next thing, there I was,
01:06:48 gliding across the dance floor,
01:06:52 Gracie.
01:06:56 I was a pretty useful footy player.
01:06:59 You know, quick on me feet.
01:07:03 But I couldn't dance for shit.
01:07:04 (BOOTS CHUCKLES)
01:07:06 I was treading all over her feet
01:07:10 (SIGHS) Disaster.
01:07:16 So what did you do?
01:07:18 I did the only thing I could do,
01:07:23 I faked a hammy. (GROANS)
01:07:25 (LAUGHS) Fantastic.
01:07:28 Yeah, it worked.
01:07:32 Your mum helped me off
01:07:36 ..and then spent the next 45 years
01:07:46 Oh, God, I miss her. I miss her.
01:07:55 Yeah, I know.
01:08:09 (DOG PANTS)
01:08:12 MAN: You blokes got some trouble,
01:08:16 Oh, yeah. We've done
01:08:20 And where are you fellas
01:08:23 CHARLIE: We're heading up the Cape.
01:08:25 I promised me son here
01:08:27 I'd take him fishing
01:08:34 MAN: You blokes right?
01:08:36 Yeah, let her rip.
01:08:57 Got another rope?
01:08:59 Oh, no.
01:09:00 No worries, then. I'll just
01:09:04 Sure. Thanks.
01:09:13 Alright. That should do it.
01:09:16 I was thinking, maybe just take it
01:09:20 MAN: Yeah, righto.
01:09:37 Bloody hell. It's hard to see.
01:09:39 Oh, well, you don't need me, mate.
01:09:42 Bullshit!
01:09:46 We're doing 80!
01:09:48 Maybe they've forgot we're back here.
01:09:56 Shit, Dad, we're doing 100!
01:09:58 Didn't that waitress say
01:10:02 But I bet he wasn't
01:10:10 BOOTS: This guy's trying to kill us.
01:10:11 - Whoa! Shit!
01:10:19 Shit! We're doing 120 already.
01:10:22 (SIREN WAILS)
01:10:28 CHARLIE: Uh-oh.
01:10:35 I want you to pull over.
01:10:38 You want us to what?
01:10:39 I want you to pull over.
01:10:42 Pull over?
01:10:44 This should be interesting.
01:10:46 You, uh...you might want to talk
01:10:50 Don't worry about them.
01:10:53 (LAUGHS) He's a bright bugger.
01:10:56 You know you're being towed?
01:10:59 Oh? Oh, really?
01:11:01 And here we were, just about
01:11:06 Stay here.
01:11:07 Stay here? (LAUGHS)
01:11:11 BOOTS: Uh, roger.
01:11:25 MAN: There you go, fellas.
01:11:28 Yeah, uh, sorry about
01:11:30 Ah, no worries. Still can't believe
01:11:35 What's going on?
01:11:38 What's goin' on?!
01:11:40 (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
01:11:40 (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
01:11:43 (COMMENTATOR SPEAKS
01:11:56 (CHEERING)
01:12:00 (PEOPLE SCREAM)
01:12:19 - (FIRECRACKER POPS)
01:12:21 (MAN ON P.A. SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)
01:12:38 BOOTS: Oh! (CHUCKLES)
01:12:40 Bloody hell. Did you see that?
01:12:42 You'd have to be half mad, wouldn't you?
01:12:59 Don't forget, ladies and gentlemen,
01:13:03 the inaugural amateur challenge.
01:13:04 Which one of you would-be cowboys
01:13:07 wants to get on the legendary
01:13:11 Come up and put your names down.
01:13:12 We're gonna draw it
01:13:15 All you would-be cowboys...
01:13:16 (CHEERING)
01:13:26 I need a leak.
01:13:28 Yeah, alright. I'll stay here.
01:13:49 You took your time.
01:13:51 MAN: (ON P.A.) Right now it's time to
01:13:54 who, shortly,
01:13:57 upon over one tonne
01:14:00 on our feature bull named Dynamite.
01:14:02 What's that? What's that?
01:14:05 Well. it seems that it's going
01:14:08 There's only one man -
01:14:11 game enough to mix it with the big boys.
01:14:14 Give him a round of applause,
01:14:16 How about it? About to ride Dynamite -
01:14:21 (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
01:14:23 I'm fucking what?
01:14:24 MAN: (ON P.A.)
01:14:26 What is wrong with you?
01:14:28 Boots McFarland, ladies and gentlemen!
01:14:31 My son! Give him a big hand.
01:14:36 Mate, no worries -
01:14:40 It's as gentle as a lamb.
01:14:41 Are you mad? There's no way
01:14:44 Mate, you think I don't know
01:14:47 If he's a bucking bull,
01:14:50 MAN: You're gonna die,
01:14:55 Thank God you're here, mate.
01:14:57 Thought we were gonna
01:14:59 Huh, great.
01:15:00 You've obviously done this before.
01:15:01 - No.
01:15:03 Well, this bloke
01:15:06 The only thing you're in danger of
01:15:08 is this old boy falling asleep
01:15:10 Yeah. Now, when he gets out, he'll
01:15:14 Huh.
01:15:15 Try and make it look dangerous
01:15:18 Just bend that round the back again.
01:15:20 (BULL BRAYS LOWLY)
01:15:21 I've ridden a horse before.
01:15:23 Oh, well... (CHUCKLES)
01:15:27 Enjoy.
01:15:28 You ready?
01:15:30 BOOTS: Yeah.
01:15:31 Our cowboy, Boots McFarland,
01:15:35 Hey, Boots, give us a wave.
01:15:37 (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
01:15:39 MAN: (ON P.A.) Now. Boots.
01:15:41 you are already our winner.
01:15:43 We've got a dinner for two
01:15:45 at the Los Elmos
01:15:48 And also - this might help
01:15:51 a dozen bottles of lnner Circle rum.
01:15:57 - (BULL GRUNTS)
01:15:59 (CROWD CHEERS)
01:16:03 Oh, shit!
01:16:04 (BOOTS GRUNTS)
01:16:08 Oh!
01:16:12 Get away from... Get aw...
01:16:16 (MEN SHOUT INDISTINCTLY)
01:16:21 BOOTS: Oh!
01:16:28 Oh, hey!
01:16:32 No, no, no, no, no! Hey!
01:16:37 Come on. Get out of here.
01:16:39 (BRAYS)
01:16:41 Run! Go, go, go, go, go, go!
01:16:46 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
01:16:50 Well, what do you say now,
01:16:56 (CHARLIE GRUNTS)
01:17:04 Huh! (LAUGHS)
01:17:06 (PEOPLE SCREAM)
01:17:10 - What'd I tell ya? Piece of cake.
01:17:13 - I know me cattle, mate.
01:17:16 Oh, how you doin'?
01:17:18 - This here is...
01:17:19 - Oh, Leilani.
01:17:21 Hello.
01:17:23 Single.
01:17:24 What'd I tell you, mate?
01:17:27 Oh, yeah, Dad. I'm a cowboy.
01:17:30 That was part of me plan.
01:17:31 - Yeah, you had a...
01:17:33 You boys like a massage?
01:17:34 Oh, yeah, Boots here would.
01:17:37 Yeah. Actually, we both would.
01:17:41 - No, mate, l...
01:17:42 CHARLIE: I've... I've never
01:17:44 Mate, no!
01:17:53 If you could just put these on.
01:17:58 On what?
01:18:00 (CHUCKLES) Yeah, sure. Thanks.
01:18:08 Which is the front
01:18:10 I think it kind of depends on
01:18:13 (BOTH LAUGH)
01:18:17 Are you ready, boys?
01:18:19 Oh.
01:18:22 (LAID-BACK MUSIC PLAYS)
01:18:25 (BOOTS CHUCKLES AND GRUNTS)
01:18:27 Uh...
01:18:39 (GRUNTS) Love, while I don't doubt
01:18:41 that you could change a tractor tyre
01:18:45 - You reckon?
01:18:46 ..just bear in mind
01:18:48 that you're working
01:18:50 Okey-dokey. (CHUCKLES)
01:18:54 Whoops! Not too high, love.
01:18:57 Don't wanna damage the gearbox.
01:19:04 Oh. (BOOTS GRUNTS)
01:19:06 - Dad, Dad.
01:19:08 I dare you to ask
01:19:11 Fuck off!
01:19:12 (LAUGHS) Oh-ho!
01:19:15 (UPBEAT MEXICAN MUSIC PLAYS)
01:19:25 How are you feeling?
01:19:27 Bit sore, mate. How about you?
01:19:29 (CHUCKLES) Sore.
01:19:30 If I'd had come down
01:19:32 I'd have three Adam's apples.
01:19:34 (BROAD AUSTRALIAN ACCENT)
01:19:36 Sorry?
01:19:37 Oh, it means,
01:19:40 My dad makes me say it.
01:19:42 He says it makes the place
01:19:44 BOOTS AND CHARLIE: Authentic.
01:19:46 Of course,
01:19:49 No. He makes me wear that too.
01:19:51 - Oh. (CHUCKLES)
01:19:53 Well, uh, amigo,
01:19:57 Righto, then.
01:20:01 Well, mucho gracias
01:20:05 Oh, hooroo, amigo.
01:20:07 (CHUCKLES) See ya, mate.
01:20:11 - CHARLIE: Very authentic.
01:20:14 CHARLIE: (BURPS) Ooh.
01:20:18 BOOTS: I don't know,
01:20:21 Well, bugger me.
01:20:25 You're kidding.
01:20:26 No.
01:20:30 What are you doing?
01:20:32 - Gonna hide it.
01:20:34 Not to mention childish.
01:20:36 - Gonna help?
01:20:40 OK, steady.
01:20:41 - Just make sure the handbrake's on.
01:20:45 (GRUNTS) You've never grown up,
01:20:47 Bit late now. (LAUGHS)
01:20:49 - Shh, shh, shh!
01:20:51 - Where you going?
01:20:53 CHARLIE: Oh, ohh! Uh-oh!
01:20:57 BOOTS: Oh, not good.
01:21:09 That can't be good.
01:21:11 Uh, no.
01:21:12 CHARLIE: Didn't his car
01:21:16 Uh, yeah.
01:21:18 (METAL CRUNCHES, ALARM BLARES)
01:21:30 CHARLIE: So one day
01:21:34 on his La-Z-Boy recliner.
01:21:36 Well, he can if he wants to - he's God.
01:21:38 And he saw his son come in
01:21:44 He said, "I've been
01:21:46 "and it's a terrible mess.
01:21:48 "I'm gonna have to send you down
01:21:51 And Jesus said, "My pleasure, Dad."
01:21:54 "There's a bit of a drawback, though, " he
01:21:56 "I'm gonna have to send you
01:21:58 "You'll be mortal
01:22:00 "and I'm afraid you're gonna
01:22:03 Jesus says, "Ohhh, you know,
01:22:09 He said, "Look, son,
01:22:12 "is I can give you a choice
01:22:15 "You can either be crucified
01:22:17 "or you can be stung to death
01:22:20 (CHUCKLES)
01:22:21 And that's the reason
01:22:23 Christians make the sign of the cross.
01:22:27 And not...
01:22:29 (LAUGHS)
01:22:31 (CHARLIE CRIES OUT COMICALLY)
01:22:34 BOOTS: Alright, another one.
01:22:36 - There's two nuns, they're in a car.
01:22:39 Yeah, they're in a car
01:22:41 and it's kind of like Satan.
01:22:43 And it lands on the bonnet,
01:22:47 kind of going, "Arggh!"
01:22:49 On the bonnet - "Rarr!"
01:22:51 And one of the nuns says,
01:22:56 And she goes, "Oh, good idea, "
01:22:57 and she winds the window down
01:23:02 BOOTS: (SINGSONGS): "There was
01:23:04 "Who was caressing a girl in the crowd
01:23:06 "When someone down front said..."
01:23:08 - No, no, no, no.
01:23:11 That's the wrong limerick, son.
01:23:14 It goes like this.
01:23:16 "There was a young girl from Bude
01:23:18 "Who got on a tram in the nude
01:23:21 "When the vicar down front..."
01:23:22 A vicar? Rubbish, vicar!
01:23:25 It has to rhyme with 'McLeod'
01:23:29 is "Just like that, out loud."
01:23:31 No. How can that be a limerick?
01:23:33 A limerick has to have
01:23:36 It goes, "Da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da,
01:23:41 Da-da-da! Bullshit!
01:23:44 Mine's a limerick.
01:23:46 It's not. A limerick's
01:23:48 Mine's hilarious. Yours isn't.
01:23:50 CHARLIE: Limericks are an art form,
01:23:53 And I taught ya!
01:23:56 Can I help you, boys?
01:23:58 Yes, you can, love, as a matter of fact.
01:24:01 You look to me
01:24:05 "There was a young lady from Bude..."
01:24:07 - Let it go!
01:24:09 No, "There was a young man
01:24:11 "Who was caressing
01:24:13 No, that's a joke, not a limerick.
01:24:15 - It is a limerick, Dad.
01:24:18 - And it's not a vicar.
01:24:20 - It's never a vicar.
01:24:21 - They ride round on bikes...
01:24:23 - On bikes? You are off your trolley.
01:24:25 - What's it got to do with a bike?
01:24:28 It sounds disgusting.
01:24:29 You're both old enough
01:24:33 Now, if you want to order food,
01:24:37 Otherwise, you can leave.
01:24:47 MAN: Where are you blokes headin'?
01:24:48 Up to Cape York.
01:24:50 We're going fishing
01:24:52 Not in this, you're not.
01:24:54 Especially this time of the year.
01:24:56 This won't even go close.
01:24:58 Oh?
01:24:59 Oh, well, um...
01:25:01 ..have to get a hold
01:25:03 - Eh, Dad?
01:25:05 Yeah, we can rent one.
01:25:06 Anywhere near here
01:25:08 Yep. Down at Cairns. No worries.
01:25:11 Well, there you go.
01:25:13 But unless it's got fins,
01:25:16 What do you mean?
01:25:17 It's the wet season.
01:25:19 River crossings are 30ft deep
01:25:23 Then there's the crocs.
01:25:27 Bloody wet season.
01:25:34 Mate, we did bloody well
01:25:36 We can still
01:25:39 I reckon the fishing there's great. Eh?
01:25:41 Yeah, I know, Dad, but...
01:25:44 ..you know, just once in my life
01:25:46 it'd be nice to actually achieve
01:25:49 You know what I mean?
01:25:59 Does that thing work?
01:26:04 (FLY BUZZES)
01:26:07 I'm not going up in that.
01:26:08 Oh, yes, you are.
01:26:10 You've already dragged me
01:26:13 We're going through with this now.
01:26:16 Does it even fly?
01:26:18 Well, it did last time
01:26:21 Sorta.
01:26:24 (DOOR CREAKS)
01:26:31 I've gotta tell you,
01:26:34 Especially in small planes.
01:26:36 MAN: If you get scared, just close
01:26:40 Oh, fantastic.
01:26:42 Well, you could always stay here.
01:26:46 BOOTS: Nup. Your missus scares me.
01:26:49 MAN: Yeah, that makes two of us.
01:26:51 CHARLIE: Hey, where do you get
01:26:54 Aviation fuel? That's just
01:26:58 I use what I've got in the pumps.
01:27:00 That works just as well?
01:27:02 Yeah. Well, seems to.
01:27:07 MAN: That'll do it. Climb on in.
01:27:18 (SIGHS)
01:27:19 I'm glad you blokes turned up.
01:27:21 I've been looking for an excuse
01:27:24 will still get off the ground
01:27:27 with a big load like this.
01:27:30 (SIGHS)
01:27:38 (ENGINE PURRS)
01:27:40 Mate, you know, I'm really glad
01:27:46 (GRUNTS)
01:27:50 CHARLIE: Here's the captain.
01:27:52 Yeah, well...
01:27:56 Well, she's started.
01:28:32 All tied in?
01:28:34 - Yep.
01:28:36 OK.
01:28:47 PILOT: Ah, shit!
01:28:48 BOOTS: Are they cows
01:28:50 PILOT: Not mine, the neighbours'.
01:28:52 I keep forgetting
01:28:55 CHARLIE: They look like Brahmas.
01:28:58 BOOTS: Shouldn't we be pulling up?
01:29:01 - (COWS BELLOW)
01:29:09 That was a bit of fun.
01:29:20 PILOT: Look at that, fellas.
01:29:21 Atherton Tablelands.
01:29:24 Home of agriculture, bananas,
01:29:28 pineapples...
01:29:30 Oh, fuck me! Not you too.
01:29:32 He's bad enough.
01:29:38 CHARLIE: You get her up very often?
01:29:40 PILOT: Nah.
01:29:42 Haven't been flying much lately.
01:29:44 Due to the fact
01:29:47 How long's this gonna take?
01:29:49 Oh, dunno.
01:29:52 Two...three hours.
01:29:56 Hope you had a pee before we left.
01:29:59 You do know how to find it, yeah?
01:30:02 I've flown to Cape York dozens of times.
01:30:06 Never as the pilot, though.
01:30:08 Now, the ocean's meant to be
01:30:12 Right!
01:30:14 Oh, well. No worries, then.
01:30:20 Mate, this thing,
01:30:23 No, it's not built for it.
01:30:25 I went up with a crop-duster pilot once.
01:30:27 And he done one of those stall drops.
01:30:31 I can do a stall.
01:30:33 Easy.
01:30:37 Thing is not to panic
01:30:39 just because the ground's
01:30:42 See that, Boots?
01:30:44 That's the beautiful Daintree forest.
01:30:46 Amazing, isn't it?
01:30:48 Just gently... pull it back.
01:31:00 Oh, that was fun.
01:31:04 PILOT: Do you want to have a try?
01:31:06 CHARLIE: (ENTHUSIASTICALLY)
01:31:09 Uh, I'd better not.
01:31:14 PILOT: Look at that.
01:31:17 Great Barrier Reef.
01:31:20 One of the true wonders of the world.
01:31:27 PILOT: It really is something, isn't it?
01:31:31 Wow.
01:31:47 I hope that's broken.
01:31:55 See that?
01:31:57 You can see both coastlines.
01:31:59 We've almost run out of Australia.
01:32:04 PILOT: There she is.
01:32:07 CHARLIE: So, that's Cape York, eh?
01:32:13 - Where's the airstrip?
01:32:15 I'll chuck her down on the beach.
01:32:18 - BOOTS: Does that work?
01:32:22 As my old mate Bill used to say,
01:32:25 "Any landing you can walk away from's
01:32:29 PILOT: God rest his soul.
01:32:33 (LAUGHS)
01:32:58 - PILOT: You got everything?
01:33:01 - Can't thank you enough, Roly.
01:33:03 Yeah, thanks, mate.
01:33:05 - I'll be back in a few days.
01:33:07 Well, better get goin'
01:33:12 I hope I can find me way back.
01:33:16 (CHUCKLES)
01:33:40 ("CATCH THE WIND'
01:34:44 - There you go, son.
01:34:46 Oh.
01:34:50 Sarsaparilla! (CHUCKLES)
01:34:59 Ahhh.
01:35:05 I... I've been thinkin' about buying
01:35:14 Of course l'd...
01:35:16 ..I'd need someone to help me run it.
01:35:31 Photo.
01:35:34 For the fridge.
01:35:42 Ripper.
01:35:56 "There was a young man
01:36:01 "Who caught a slow boat
01:36:03 "He was tied to the tiller..."
01:36:05 "By a sex-crazed gorilla..."
01:36:07 BOTH: "And China's a long way away."
01:36:11 - (CHUCKLES)