Christmas With The Kranks

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00:01:10 We should get moving. Got a big day.
00:01:14 Okay.
00:01:34 Sunday after Thanksgiving,
00:01:38 Can you remind me again, Blair,
00:01:45 The year will fly by.
00:01:52 -I love you, Mommy.
00:01:56 Enough of this. She's going to be fine.
00:01:59 Daddy.
00:02:03 I love you.
00:02:11 Bye, honey.
00:02:17 Love you.
00:02:20 I love you.
00:02:35 Think she'll be okay?
00:02:39 -She'll be better than okay.
00:02:43 Please stop worrying about this, okay?
00:02:46 The Peace Corps is not going to send her
00:02:51 Just won't be the same.
00:02:54 What won't?
00:02:56 Christmas.
00:03:14 Did I tell you I'm doing dessert
00:03:17 and I need a couple things from Chip's.
00:03:21 I need white chocolate and pistachios.
00:03:32 -I didn't bring the umbrella.
00:03:36 I didn't bring the umbrella.
00:03:39 -Well, I still need it.
00:03:44 -Look, you stay in the car, and I'll get a--
00:03:48 Look, it's just sprinkling.
00:03:51 Listen, don't forget:
00:03:55 and March Brothers pistachios.
00:03:57 Okay.
00:04:17 You could use an umbrella!
00:04:19 I just need some white chocolate.
00:04:43 What's the matter?
00:04:44 I just talked to Blair.
00:04:47 She called from the airplane?
00:04:48 Do you have any idea
00:04:54 -How is she?
00:04:59 -I'm standing over there. I can't--
00:05:05 They didn't have any.
00:05:06 Did you talk to Rex?
00:05:08 -Who's Rex?
00:05:13 As odd as it sounds, I didn't think of asking
00:05:22 -But I will.
00:05:24 I'll go talk to Rex right now.
00:05:39 You sure you don't need a--
00:05:45 -Buddy, can I get one of those?
00:05:59 I really think you need an umbrella!
00:06:02 No! You know why I don't want one
00:06:10 Because I couldn't get any wetter!
00:06:51 Morning, Luther.
00:06:54 Hi, Mr. Krank.
00:06:57 Morning, Mr. Krank.
00:07:40 It'll be so different this Christmas,
00:07:43 Yes, it will be so different.
00:07:45 Nothing will be the same.
00:07:48 For the first time in 23 years,
00:07:54 Might even get depressing.
00:07:59 Lot of depression at Christmas, you know?
00:08:03 Yeah, well....
00:08:05 I would just love to forget about it.
00:08:17 What are you looking at?
00:08:21 Why are you looking at me like that?
00:08:28 Finish your pasta.
00:08:30 I'm finished with my pasta.
00:08:34 I'll be right back.
00:08:37 -You wait right there.
00:08:53 Luther?
00:08:58 What are you doing?
00:09:11 -I have an idea.
00:09:13 A brilliant idea.
00:09:21 Make sure you shut the curtains.
00:09:25 All right.
00:09:27 Come over here. Turn around.
00:09:29 What are you doing? Sit down.
00:09:31 Button up and sit down.
00:09:34 Look at this.
00:09:35 This is a little ledger
00:09:40 Look at some of this stuff.
00:09:44 You got to be kidding me. Look at the total.
00:09:48 We spent $6,100 on Christmas last year.
00:09:51 $6,100 on--
00:09:55 I heard you the first time.
00:09:56 -With precious little to show for it.
00:10:03 The Caribbean.
00:10:06 A 10-day luxury cruise on The Jubilee.
00:10:10 The most luxurious ship in their fleet.
00:10:12 Cayman Islands.
00:10:15 Snorkeling. We go to Jamaica.
00:10:17 We windsurf, whatever the heck that is.
00:10:20 The Bahamas. We sit in the sun.
00:10:25 -I might have to lose a little weight.
00:10:29 What's the catch?
00:10:33 I wouldn't call it a catch.
00:10:40 We skip Christmas.
00:10:42 We skip Christmas?
00:10:45 We skip Christmas, save the money,
00:10:48 I don't know.
00:10:50 Come on, please.
00:10:55 -How much is this gonna cost?
00:11:01 -We save money?
00:11:07 We can still give our charitable donations...
00:11:10 to Children's Hospital
00:11:12 No, this is a total boycott, honey. Total.
00:11:16 It's $600.
00:11:19 It's a total boycott.
00:11:21 I'm afraid that's all I'm gonna say about that.
00:11:23 Well, then, no.
00:11:27 What a stupid idea.
00:11:31 You're gonna let a lousy $600
00:11:36 No. You are.
00:11:44 All right, look.
00:11:45 I'll match last year's contribution
00:11:49 but not a penny more.
00:11:51 -When do we leave?
00:11:59 It's not even Saturday night.
00:12:06 I will not be celebrating Christmas this year.
00:12:11 As many of you know, Blair has joined...
00:12:14 the Peace Corps.
00:12:20 So Nora and I have decided to avoid
00:12:23 save our money, and take a cruise.
00:12:27 Therefore, I will not be participating
00:12:32 I will buy no gifts and accept none.
00:12:37 I will not attend
00:12:40 nor will I be here for the office party.
00:12:43 I am not angry and I will not yell...
00:12:48 "humbug" at anyone who offers me
00:12:54 I am simply skipping Christmas.
00:13:08 -Hello, Mrs. Krank.
00:13:11 I'm just a little worried
00:13:13 Why are you worried?
00:13:14 You always select the most beautiful cards.
00:13:18 We're not gonna be ordering
00:13:21 -Do what?
00:13:23 May I ask why not?
00:13:24 You know, I'm really quite late for lunch.
00:13:30 But we always have
00:13:32 Yeah, but last year, the band cost $15,000.
00:13:34 We hired a deejay for the Cancer Ball.
00:13:37 Ladies.
00:13:38 -Hi, Aubie.
00:13:40 Mrs. Krank, we forgot to talk about
00:13:44 We won't be needing those, either.
00:13:46 -No party?
00:13:49 No party this year.
00:13:52 She's not ordering Christmas cards either.
00:13:58 What's up?
00:14:03 We're...
00:14:04 taking a break.
00:14:07 We're not gonna do Christmas this year.
00:14:10 -How do you simply not do Christmas?
00:14:14 But then what do we do Christmas Eve?
00:14:17 You'll think of something.
00:14:20 But none like yours.
00:14:22 That's sweet.
00:14:23 -When do you leave?
00:14:27 That's an odd time to travel.
00:14:29 Apparently, not that many people travel
00:14:33 and so Luther got us a great deal.
00:14:35 Then why don't you have the party anyway?
00:14:37 Because we don't want to, Merry.
00:14:41 One year off, no Christmas whatsoever.
00:14:45 -What do we do?
00:15:10 Mr. Krank, I'm Randy Scanlon.
00:15:12 We're selling Christmas trees again
00:15:15 Got yours right here.
00:15:18 You got a Canadian blue spruce last year.
00:15:21 This one's a real beauty. Almost 10 feet tall.
00:15:25 Mrs. Krank likes the big ones.
00:15:27 Aren't they cute?
00:15:28 -How much is the big one?
00:15:35 We're not buying a Christmas tree this year.
00:15:40 -Luther.
00:15:51 Sorry we had to go up on the price.
00:15:54 We're making less per tree than last year.
00:15:57 It's not about the money.
00:16:00 We're gonna go away on a cruise.
00:16:03 We don't need a tree.
00:16:12 All right. Well, out of the frying pan...
00:16:16 and into the fire.
00:16:19 Luther.
00:16:21 -What?
00:16:23 -Why?
00:16:27 -What are they doing?
00:16:30 -Spilling their guts to Frohmeyer.
00:16:37 Are you intimidated by Vic Frohmeyer?
00:16:40 Honey, he's like the unelected ward boss
00:16:43 So Frohmeyer has a problem
00:16:46 Who's he gonna call?
00:16:47 The Three Wise Men? Santa Claus?
00:16:51 Don't underestimate him, honey.
00:16:54 Vic Frohmeyer lives and breathes
00:16:58 -You should've just bought the tree.
00:17:00 -You didn't have to put it up.
00:17:02 -You could've left it in the backyard.
00:17:05 Why are you whispering? This is our house.
00:17:07 I'm whispering for the same reason
00:17:14 Hey, Walt.
00:17:16 Luther Krank just stiffed the Scouts
00:17:24 Can you believe that, Mr. Frohmeyer?
00:17:54 Do not put it up there.
00:17:57 Move it to the right. The other right.
00:18:02 -Becker's at it again.
00:18:05 Everybody's going to really miss Blair
00:18:07 The whole block's talking about it.
00:18:10 She's doing just fine. Thanks for asking.
00:18:13 How's your family?
00:18:14 In great spirits.
00:18:18 Wind it tight, Spike!
00:18:21 -Hi, Dad!
00:18:26 It's the greatest time of year,
00:18:29 I couldn't be happier.
00:18:32 It's not gonna be the same
00:18:34 Of course not.
00:18:41 Honey, are you okay?
00:18:43 -Come here. Honey!
00:18:48 There are certain things around here
00:18:52 So you're...
00:18:54 really skipping out?
00:18:56 You got it.
00:18:58 Somehow, it just doesn't seem right.
00:19:01 That's really not up to you to decide, is it?
00:19:03 But I got to tell you,
00:19:06 Really?
00:19:07 Christmas has always been a neighborhood
00:19:11 Everybody decorates.
00:19:16 I guess we do it for the kids.
00:19:18 If you're trying to make me feel guilty,
00:19:21 And you know what else?
00:19:23 and everyone else around here
00:19:26 Whatever you say, Luther.
00:19:40 Weather should be clear tomorrow.
00:19:43 Perfect time to put up Frosty.
00:19:46 Frosty?
00:19:53 Tell you what, truth is, if I'm gone, I'm....
00:19:59 Vic?
00:20:08 Frosty is a Christmas tradition.
00:20:11 Frosty is a Christmas decoration.
00:20:14 I will not be told by Vic Frohmeyer that
00:20:19 Why won't you put up Frosty?
00:20:23 It's the principle thing. Do you understand?
00:20:26 We can forget about Christmas
00:20:29 And nobody,
00:20:32 I will not be forced into doing this.
00:20:43 Have a good day.
00:20:48 Hi, Nora.
00:20:49 -Morning, Bev. Hi, Walt.
00:21:00 It was an accident.
00:21:03 Walt, why don't you put
00:21:06 Only dogs wear leashes, old man.
00:21:09 Think you can run away from Christmas?
00:21:13 -I'm trying to.
00:21:17 -It's not about the money.
00:21:20 Muffles, be polite.
00:21:25 You know, I'd like to say yes, but....
00:21:33 How you feeling today, Bev?
00:21:34 Have my good days and bad days.
00:21:38 I'm glad to hear that.
00:21:40 Come have your breakfast, dear.
00:21:43 I got to get to work.
00:21:45 Still working for the Man, huh?
00:21:48 As a matter of fact, it is a man I work for.
00:21:50 Thought they would've made you partner
00:21:55 I got to get to work.
00:21:57 Have a good one, old man.
00:22:04 One snowball with a little yellow spot on it.
00:22:07 Just skim the top of that little head of his.
00:22:11 "Old man."
00:22:17 Bah, humbug.
00:22:20 Good morning, Mr. Scrooge.
00:22:26 -Morning, Dox. Do I have any messages?
00:22:29 Said I had to buy my own cheap perfume
00:22:34 Funny.
00:22:37 Nora Krank!
00:22:39 We're here for Frosty!
00:22:50 -Hello.
00:22:51 -Hey, babe.
00:22:53 Who?
00:22:54 Vic Frohmeyer, Wes Trogdon, Ned Becker,
00:22:59 We're here for Frosty!
00:23:01 -They want Frosty.
00:23:03 Nora!
00:23:05 Please give us Frosty.
00:23:10 Honey, where is Frosty?
00:23:12 -He's down behind the furnace. Why?
00:23:15 Don't give them Frosty.
00:23:17 You and Luther do not have to do anything!
00:23:20 Just leave Frosty on the front porch.
00:23:25 -They said they'll put him up for us.
00:23:28 -Please, Luther.
00:23:31 We'll come back later.
00:23:34 And Frosty better be here.
00:23:36 They're gonna come back!
00:23:38 Listen to you.
00:23:39 You're panicking on the phone
00:23:41 because the neighbors
00:23:43 to set up a ridiculous
00:23:49 Sure, easy for you to say.
00:23:53 Yeah, well--
00:23:55 I am the one trapped here.
00:23:58 All right, I agree. So maybe it's time
00:24:01 Sure, honey.
00:24:04 The street is blocked
00:24:07 Walk to the garage, get in the car,
00:24:11 I'll meet you at O'Leary's.
00:24:12 Do it now! You can do this! Do it before--
00:24:31 Bit more to the left.
00:24:35 That looks good.
00:24:46 -Hi, Mrs. Krank.
00:24:53 Vic, she's leaving!
00:24:57 What's she doing?
00:24:59 I'm so sorry.
00:25:05 Sorry!
00:25:09 Nora, stop the car.
00:25:11 Stop the car. Please, listen.
00:25:15 Now, please, indulge me for a second.
00:25:18 Stop the car. Listen to me. Give us Frosty.
00:25:21 Stop the car.
00:25:26 We just want Frosty.
00:25:29 Talk to me. Please. Indulge me for a second.
00:25:51 It's us women who handle Christmas,
00:25:54 I am the one taking the brunt
00:25:58 I am the one on the frontlines.
00:26:02 -I have a surprise for you.
00:26:04 Shut your eyes.
00:26:11 All right, open them.
00:26:16 -Honey, is this some kind of joke?
00:26:21 A woman's bathing suit?
00:26:23 Probably belongs with that.
00:26:27 Look at that. Little cliff-diver thing.
00:26:31 Honey, there is no way
00:26:36 These aren't for the cruise.
00:26:41 You know what's odd?
00:26:43 Is when an Irish pub serves fish tacos.
00:26:48 I got a little heartburn. I don't think I'm
00:26:52 Come on.
00:26:55 Hello, Mr. Krank.
00:26:57 -Hi, Daisy. This is my wife, Nora.
00:27:03 I really don't want to do this.
00:27:05 No, come on. I got a great deal.
00:27:10 Why would we get a tan before the cruise?
00:27:12 I thought the whole point was to get a tan
00:27:15 Look at our skin.
00:27:19 You look like a corpse.
00:27:22 And you could use a little help yourself.
00:27:25 Thank you.
00:27:30 Dear God, this should be outlawed.
00:27:46 Okay, calm down.
00:27:59 Excuse me.
00:28:08 Excuse me. Hello!
00:28:12 I need a BAND-AID.
00:28:15 Nora Krank?
00:28:20 Father Zabriskie. Hello.
00:28:24 It's a mall. I'm Christmas shopping.
00:28:27 Of course you are.
00:28:31 Are you okay?
00:28:32 Yes. Sort of.
00:28:34 You're bleeding.
00:28:36 Yes, it's just a scratch.
00:28:40 I'm looking for a BAND-AID.
00:28:50 Nora, I hear it from a good source
00:28:55 have decided not to observe Christmas
00:29:01 Yeah, sort of.
00:29:03 Father Zabriskie, Luther and I are fine.
00:29:07 Everything is fine,
00:29:11 Attendant said you were bleeding.
00:29:13 -Luther.
00:29:17 Father Zabriskie.
00:29:20 Hey.
00:29:25 We've made the front page.
00:29:29 -Check it out.
00:29:35 -"Skipping Christmas."
00:29:37 "The home of Mr. and Mrs. Luther Krank
00:29:41 "While their neighbors on Hemlock Street
00:29:45 "the Kranks are skipping Christmas.
00:29:47 "They're preparing for a cruise,
00:29:52 "No tree, no lights,
00:29:54 "and the only house on Hemlock
00:29:57 -How do they know where Frosty is?
00:30:01 "Hemlock, a frequent winner
00:30:05 "finished a disappointing sixth this year.
00:30:07 "'I hope they're satisfied now,'
00:30:11 "'A rotten display of selfishness,'
00:30:14 -Who said that?
00:30:17 How dare they!
00:30:19 What a bunch of losers.
00:30:22 You know what?
00:30:24 You know, I don't think I'm coming back
00:30:28 Attagirl. Two more days
00:30:31 Two more, baby.
00:30:34 Jerks.
00:30:36 -Chocolate milk?
00:30:38 That's mine.
00:30:42 -Regular.
00:30:45 Hey. What's wrong?
00:30:47 It's Bev Scheel.
00:30:51 -Could you cover for me?
00:30:53 -What happened?
00:30:57 The cancer's back for the third time.
00:30:59 -Has it spread?
00:31:01 That's awful.
00:31:04 This could be her last Christmas.
00:31:06 Sweetheart.
00:31:23 Well, if it isn't old Scrooge himself.
00:31:27 How do you think this photographer
00:31:30 -What photographer?
00:31:33 -That one.
00:31:35 He climbed up.
00:31:37 -On your roof?
00:31:40 -Why did you do that?
00:31:44 He said he wanted to get a shot
00:31:50 At least you're consistent.
00:31:52 I try to be, old man.
00:31:54 -Stop that.
00:31:55 Stop calling me "old man."
00:31:58 You're, like, 10 years older than me.
00:32:00 -Am I?
00:32:01 -Prove it.
00:32:05 I just heard about Bev. I am so sorry.
00:32:11 How's she doing?
00:32:13 Remarkably well. In good spirits.
00:32:18 Sure. If there's anything we can do,
00:32:21 Thanks. I really appreciate that.
00:33:05 They're here for Frosty.
00:33:10 No.
00:33:17 -I'll get it.
00:33:24 -Good evening, Mr. Krank.
00:33:27 It's that time of year again.
00:33:30 Your Police Benevolent Association's
00:33:34 That's great.
00:33:35 You know, Toys for Tots, and we deliver
00:33:39 And ice skating for handicapped kids.
00:33:41 Every year, we deliver presents
00:33:45 and, of course, our war veterans.
00:33:47 Our big moneymaker is our calendar...
00:33:50 and you buy one every year, so here we are.
00:33:57 We don't need a calendar this year.
00:34:05 What a jerk.
00:34:07 He said he didn't need one.
00:34:10 Thank you for your contribution.
00:34:14 Yeah, Merry Christmas. Good luck with it.
00:34:23 -Merry Christmas.
00:34:26 We're from St. Maria's Lutheran Church
00:34:32 Yes, they are.
00:34:34 -Are they Jewish?
00:34:37 -Buddhist or anything?
00:34:40 They're just trying
00:34:43 -Do what?
00:34:47 Skipping Christmas so he can
00:34:50 No.
00:34:52 I think some Christmas cheer
00:34:55 -Really?
00:34:57 All righty then.
00:35:04 Drop.
00:35:08 Down!
00:35:29 Go!
00:35:36 This is fun.
00:35:41 Christmas carolers
00:35:45 How lovely.
00:35:46 It's not lovely. They're trespassing.
00:35:49 -They're not trespassing.
00:35:52 They're on our property.
00:35:55 Somebody told them to come.
00:35:59 -Christmas carolers are not trespassers.
00:36:03 -Why don't you have them arrested, then?
00:36:07 Call your friends
00:36:10 -That's funny.
00:36:16 This isn't a joke. This is military.
00:36:18 This is SEAL stuff.
00:37:45 Come on.
00:37:55 Just sit right here. Here you go. Right here.
00:37:58 There. That's perfect.
00:38:02 Quietest room in the house.
00:38:16 Free Frosty! Free Frosty!
00:38:33 Merry Christmas, Mrs. Krank.
00:39:15 Luther!
00:39:22 "Every Who down in Who-ville
00:39:26 "But the Grinch who lived
00:39:31 "The Grinch hated Christmas,
00:39:35 "Now, please don't ask why,
00:39:38 "It could be his head
00:39:42 "It could be, perhaps,
00:39:48 "But I think
00:39:50 "may have been that his heart
00:39:58 Luther, your face.
00:40:00 -What about it?
00:40:04 This?
00:40:06 I got a BOTOX injection today.
00:40:09 BOTOX treatment.
00:40:10 They take a big needle
00:40:14 It freezes your face like this.
00:40:17 -How long are you gonna be like this?
00:40:21 And then you got all your wrinkles are gone.
00:40:29 -You should try this.
00:40:35 -I can't live like this anymore.
00:40:41 We can't go out.
00:40:42 Everywhere we go,
00:40:46 I can't go home. It's too depressing.
00:40:49 I mean, there's no tree and no lights
00:40:57 I can't talk to you.
00:40:59 -You're just consumed with yourself.
00:41:03 -Look how far you've gone.
00:41:05 -Turning our lawn into an ice rink.
00:41:08 Somebody could've broken
00:41:11 -You could've put a caroler in the hospital.
00:41:16 I'm kidding.
00:41:19 But in just one day, 24 hours,
00:41:22 And it's all gonna be better. I promise.
00:41:26 I don't know.
00:41:39 Do you think that Blair
00:41:43 Probably not.
00:41:46 and around people who worship trees...
00:41:49 and eat bark and frogs and that sort of stuff.
00:41:53 -You gonna wear that?
00:41:56 Nice.
00:42:00 Free Frosty!
00:42:01 I know this is you, Spike. Goodbye.
00:42:04 -Again? How many times is that?
00:42:08 Wish I had a snappy comeback
00:42:11 -Who cares?
00:42:14 The islands are calling.
00:42:20 -Free Frosty! Free--
00:42:24 -You're a genius.
00:42:34 -All right, Frosty's dead.
00:42:38 -Wait a minute. Blair?
00:42:40 Hi. No, that was a joke.
00:42:45 Your mom's getting on the other line,
00:42:49 -Blair.
00:42:53 Hi, honey. It's Mommy.
00:42:55 I'm in Miami,
00:42:58 -What?
00:43:00 -I'm stunned.
00:43:02 -We landed about an hour ago.
00:43:06 -What do you mean "we"?
00:43:09 -Yeah? What is it?
00:43:13 -What's a rique?
00:43:15 He's a doctor. We went to Brown together.
00:43:18 You guys met him a couple of times.
00:43:21 -Of course.
00:43:23 He's Peruvian.
00:43:24 -Great. A Communist.
00:43:27 -Sometimes we called him Rick.
00:43:30 The guy that you went down there
00:43:32 He lived in a separate hut, Dad.
00:43:34 Hut schmut. I want to see pictures
00:43:37 We've been friends for years.
00:43:41 We fell in love while working together...
00:43:43 and he's asked me to marry him.
00:43:45 What?
00:43:47 And I really want to.
00:43:51 Honey!
00:43:53 Enrique has always gone home
00:43:55 never celebrated Christmas
00:43:59 I told him all about Christmas there.
00:44:02 Frosty up on the roof. Everything.
00:44:05 You know,
00:44:08 No, but I sense a storm coming.
00:44:10 Okay, when do you land?
00:44:13 -We land at 8:03.
00:44:16 Yes, tonight. Just in time
00:44:20 You are having the party, aren't you, Mom?
00:44:24 Of course we are.
00:44:25 Great! Mom, you are going to love Enrique.
00:44:30 He wants to have a houseful of kids.
00:44:32 Honey!
00:44:34 Oh, Mom, I can't wait to be home.
00:44:37 I am speechless!
00:44:40 And your father is probably overwhelmed.
00:44:44 Great. I love you, Mommy.
00:44:45 I love you too, honey. Safe flight.
00:44:54 -She should've called sooner.
00:44:57 Why did you tell her
00:44:59 Because we are.
00:45:01 I need my vest.
00:45:05 I don't know who's coming to the party
00:45:08 but we're having a party.
00:45:10 What about our trip?
00:45:11 Don't even start with me.
00:45:17 Stupid idea?
00:45:20 -Now you're an idiot.
00:45:24 Don't dwell on the past, Island Boy,
00:45:27 Cheese, wine and Blairey's favorite:
00:45:31 -Who's coming to this party?
00:45:33 -You're in charge of the tree.
00:45:36 Get one and put it up.
00:45:37 Then you will get your little brown butt
00:45:41 -No!
00:45:42 We are going to perform
00:45:45 If we pull it off,
00:45:48 about your stupid, ridiculous,
00:45:51 of skipping Christmas.
00:46:11 I'm sorry about this little ugly bush.
00:46:13 -Merry Christmas.
00:46:16 -Duke Scanlon.
00:46:17 The same guy who brought you...
00:46:18 that beautiful Canadian blue spruce
00:46:21 Okay, great! Merry Christmas to you.
00:46:25 I really need a tree right now.
00:46:32 Just one.
00:46:34 You know what? I like it. I'll take that one.
00:46:39 -Really?
00:46:42 -$75.
00:46:45 -Yeah. Supply and demand.
00:46:48 The Scouts could sure use
00:46:53 What do you guys say I give you $25?
00:46:57 $75. Take it or leave it.
00:47:00 Yours?
00:47:37 -Hey, Wes.
00:47:40 Merry Christmas to you, too, man.
00:47:43 I got to be at my in-laws' by 5:00.
00:47:46 Let me give you a hand.
00:47:50 Listen to me. My plans have changed.
00:47:52 I got a call from Blair.
00:48:01 -What about the cruise?
00:48:03 -I can't find a Christmas tree, though.
00:48:09 Can I borrow yours?
00:48:10 -Wes, we got to go.
00:48:14 -You want my tree?
00:48:15 I can get it back in your house
00:48:18 -That's ridiculous.
00:48:21 Everyone else needs their tree
00:48:24 -You're serious, aren't you?
00:48:28 -Trish wouldn't like it.
00:48:30 -Hey, Trish!
00:48:33 -Honey, we got to go.
00:48:39 Please.
00:48:45 You break one ornament, we're both dead.
00:48:48 I will leave it just like I found it.
00:48:52 -This is funny, you know?
00:48:55 Free Frosty! Free Frosty!
00:48:57 -Got to go.
00:49:03 Guys! Fellas.
00:49:06 Guys, I'm sitting right over here.
00:49:08 -Scatter!
00:49:10 -Wait.
00:49:12 Wait, come here.
00:49:15 I just want to talk to you, Spike.
00:49:23 -Let me go!
00:49:24 -Stop squirming around.
00:49:27 -Come on.
00:49:29 It was a joke.
00:49:32 I know. I'm not gonna hurt you,
00:49:34 But you do owe me.
00:49:37 -All I got is $20.
00:49:42 I need a little help.
00:50:03 That is one huge tree.
00:50:07 That's interesting. Here's the plan.
00:50:11 -Is this against the law?
00:50:31 Spike!
00:50:32 -Nothing valuable.
00:50:36 "Baby's first Christmas."
00:50:39 Perfect!
00:50:44 -Hello?
00:50:47 -Merry Christmas, Ned.
00:50:50 Say, I'm watching the Trogdons' house.
00:50:53 It appears as if Krank has lost his mind.
00:50:56 -How's that?
00:51:03 Hello. Excuse me, I am looking for a ham.
00:51:07 If there are any left, they'll be back there.
00:51:10 Thank you very much. Merry Christmas.
00:51:47 Happy holidays.
00:51:52 -Are you sure this isn't illegal?
00:52:07 -Can I buy your ham?
00:52:09 Your ham, it's the last one.
00:52:11 And my daughter, Blair, is coming home
00:52:15 and hickory honey hams
00:52:18 -And I'd like to buy it from you.
00:52:22 But she's in the Peace Corps.
00:52:26 And I'd be willing to pay anything
00:52:32 No, we're not interested.
00:52:35 You know, it's never too early
00:52:39 a little something
00:52:45 You got it?
00:52:54 Come around here.
00:52:58 Ready? Come around the back.
00:53:02 Spike!
00:53:20 -Hello, Mr. Krank.
00:53:25 Where you going with that tree?
00:53:27 Spike and I are just taking it to my house.
00:53:30 Spike?
00:53:32 Yeah, the kid. Spike.
00:53:39 Did he just run that way? No? That's weird.
00:53:44 -Is this an imaginary friend?
00:53:54 Merry Christmas!
00:54:00 Stop!
00:54:36 Should've bought a calendar.
00:54:39 Gonna need it where you're going.
00:54:48 What do you want?
00:54:50 It's me, Spike Frohmeyer.
00:54:53 Yeah.
00:54:54 If he says Trogdon loaned him the tree,
00:54:58 Here's the key. It's not a burglary.
00:55:03 Key.
00:55:08 Scram, Krank.
00:55:15 Thanks, Spike. I was kind of scared in there.
00:55:19 You'll be all right.
00:55:26 Get the tree.
00:55:36 -What happened?
00:55:39 -What's wrong?
00:55:41 I've called everybody we know,
00:55:43 -We'll have to invite the neighbors.
00:55:46 -How's the tree?
00:55:52 It's a disaster.
00:55:54 Take it or leave it.
00:55:56 Blue icicles and a Chicago Bear ornament?
00:56:02 -Smoked trout.
00:56:06 What happened to the hickory honey ham?
00:56:12 Never say "hickory honey ham" again.
00:56:20 Hello. Blair! Hi, honey!
00:56:23 I'd like to talk to her
00:56:26 You're in Atlanta? Wow.
00:56:28 We're just busy cooking away here,
00:56:32 Of course I'm making caramel cream pie,
00:56:37 We'll be there at 8:00 to pick you up.
00:56:39 I can't wait to see you, too. I love you. Bye.
00:56:45 It's 4:30. I need two pounds of caramel
00:56:48 The liquor store closes at 5:00
00:56:52 A case of wine for the four of us?
00:56:54 Shut up. How long will it take you
00:56:57 -Three days.
00:56:58 When you finish, call all the neighbors
00:57:01 What party?
00:57:43 Merry Christmas, Nora.
00:57:47 Merry Christmas to you, too.
00:57:50 Why are you out running around?
00:57:52 Just picking up last-minute stuff. You?
00:57:55 Picking up some stuff. Few things.
00:58:01 Big party tomorrow?
00:58:03 Actually, it's tonight. My daughter's
00:58:07 We're just throwing a little party.
00:58:12 Blair.
00:58:15 Yes.
00:58:21 Would you like to come?
00:58:24 You mean that?
00:58:27 Absolutely. I mean, it's just drop-in.
00:58:30 What time?
00:58:33 8:30.
00:58:34 -You're on Hemlock?
00:58:38 Thank you. Yes, thank you.
00:58:44 Who are you?
00:58:47 Not a clue.
00:58:58 You get heavier every year.
00:59:00 Up here!
00:59:02 Come on.
00:59:03 There we go.
00:59:19 I see Frosty.
00:59:22 Kids! Guys!
00:59:26 Let's go.
00:59:39 Come on. Straighten up there. Near perfect.
00:59:45 -Good evening, Luther!
00:59:50 You need some help, buddy?
00:59:53 No.
00:59:55 Luther, hold on.
00:59:58 Watch your balance!
01:00:04 Easy! Careful!
01:00:07 Careful, Luther!
01:00:11 Back. We got to go back that way.
01:00:30 Look out!
01:00:45 You okay?
01:00:47 Swell, Vic. Thanks. How about you?
01:00:50 I called 911. They're on the way.
01:00:53 -Thanks, Walt.
01:00:57 -It was up on the roof just a minute ago.
01:01:03 Poor Frosty.
01:01:04 Yeah, "poor Frosty" my eye.
01:01:08 He's okay!
01:01:10 You should just let me drop. Let me fall.
01:01:13 He's all right.
01:01:14 What on earth are you doing? Are you okay?
01:01:17 Actually, it was a suicide attempt.
01:01:19 Apparently, I misread the instructions.
01:01:22 He was up there by himself,
01:01:28 -Sweetie, here they come.
01:01:32 Just hold on. I guess you can't, can you?
01:01:36 Hurry up!
01:01:38 Back off, I'll be all right.
01:01:41 Thanks. Just a little problem with the rope.
01:01:44 Get a ladder, that would be helpful.
01:01:48 What are you gonna do
01:01:51 Got him?
01:01:56 You okay?
01:01:59 Dudes, over here.
01:02:02 Slow down. That's good. Over here, man.
01:02:07 Folks, move back.
01:02:09 What's going on here?
01:02:10 Luther here was up on the roof putting up
01:02:14 Coming through.
01:02:16 I thought you were skipping Christmas
01:02:19 What about that? What's going on there?
01:02:23 Blair's coming home for Christmas.
01:02:30 And she's bringing her boyfriend.
01:02:36 -And she expects to see a Christmas tree?
01:02:38 -And a Frosty?
01:02:40 And what about
01:02:44 That, too.
01:02:46 -When does she get in?
01:02:54 All right, people, listen up. Gather around.
01:02:56 We're about to have a party here
01:03:00 A Christmas homecoming for Blair.
01:03:03 Great idea, Vic.
01:03:05 Drop what you're doing and pitch in.
01:03:09 Smoked trout.
01:03:11 Smoked trout?
01:03:18 Anybody got a turkey?
01:03:19 -We have two, both in the oven.
01:03:23 Ned, go to Brixley's. Get his Frosty.
01:03:26 We'll put them along Luther's boxwoods.
01:03:28 -Hold on. Why should we do this for him?
01:03:32 Regardless of how you feel about him--
01:03:36 But we're a community.
01:03:40 Even if one of them has been behaving,
01:03:43 like a spoiled, selfish little baby.
01:03:46 We're not doing this for him.
01:03:51 Blair, who used to baby-sit all your kids.
01:03:54 Blair, who comes home every summer
01:03:58 That's right.
01:03:59 Why should the daughter pay
01:04:04 Now, if we even have a hope of pulling
01:04:07 Grab a change of clothes and all the food
01:04:12 -Let's go.
01:04:15 -Thank you!
01:04:18 Guys, better go to the airport.
01:04:21 -Why's that?
01:04:25 I don't know if we could do that.
01:04:29 Shall I call the chief?
01:04:34 We could do that.
01:04:42 Got a hold of Frosty there?
01:04:44 Easy. Up he goes.
01:04:47 There you go.
01:04:54 Finally.
01:04:57 There's nothing like a white Christmas.
01:05:00 Merry Christmas!
01:05:02 Hi, everybody!
01:05:06 -Hey, boss!
01:05:08 Aubie. Thank you.
01:05:16 What are these?
01:05:20 Honey.
01:05:22 These illegal?
01:05:38 Here. I have that one piece you need.
01:05:43 I think that should go over there.
01:05:48 Honey, look. Look. Mistletoe.
01:05:54 Hello?
01:05:56 -Hey, Blair.
01:05:59 -You're 55 minutes early.
01:06:02 That's a heck of a tail wind. Yeah.
01:06:07 We're waiting right here.
01:06:11 Love you, honey.
01:06:12 That was your mom. We both love you.
01:06:14 -What are we gonna do? We'll never make it.
01:06:21 Go!
01:06:22 Go, Spike!
01:06:24 Anything else that's in a box,
01:06:27 You know what? It looks good.
01:06:33 -See them?
01:06:48 Honey.
01:06:50 Is that us?
01:07:01 Hi, I'm Blair. This is Enrique.
01:07:05 A police escort? I'm impressed.
01:07:09 I guess my dad was really generous
01:07:13 Yeah. You have no idea.
01:07:16 Thirty-seven minutes, my friends.
01:07:22 Welcome to the United States.
01:07:25 Officer Frohmeyer here. Do you read me?
01:07:29 How many times I got to tell you, stay off--
01:07:32 This is serious. Can you talk?
01:07:36 -Yeah, go.
01:07:39 -Stall?
01:07:40 We're not ready.
01:07:43 Okay. Stall.
01:07:45 I'll get it, thanks.
01:07:49 -Merry Christmas, Luther. Here's a ham.
01:07:52 I'm sorry. I'm a little bit early.
01:07:56 -Why don't you go in? Enjoy yourself.
01:07:59 Father Zabriskie,
01:08:02 Thank you.
01:08:05 -I don't know who he is.
01:08:27 Why are you driving so slow?
01:08:30 Icy roads.
01:08:32 Want to celebrate Christmas
01:08:46 -Can I help you with that?
01:08:49 -Good.
01:08:51 Honey, I talked to everyone.
01:08:56 He knows them.
01:08:58 What is.... How do.... What?
01:09:00 Thanks, Father.
01:09:02 -Robbie, check that bottom string.
01:09:04 That's good enough.
01:09:07 Randy, plug it in.
01:09:25 Sweet.
01:09:29 It's just the lights.
01:09:32 -I'll go check the breaker.
01:09:38 Do you know anybody at ComEd?
01:09:43 Officer Frohmeyer here. Do you read me?
01:09:48 -What's up, Spike, sir?
01:09:53 -Roger.
01:09:57 He said crime.
01:09:59 Possible domestic disturbance.
01:10:05 What are you talking about?
01:10:18 We'll put those down here on the table,
01:10:23 Aubie, put the cookies over there
01:10:28 -There was a box with some balls in it--
01:10:36 Finally!
01:10:40 Wonderful!
01:10:43 -It looks wonderful, everybody.
01:10:46 She's gonna be here any minute!
01:10:49 Honey, I need to do something
01:10:54 Will you please tell me
01:10:57 We got to stall.
01:10:59 Just for a few minutes
01:11:03 Okay.
01:11:06 See, it's fine. Just checkup.
01:11:10 Let's walk over to this door
01:11:13 I'll put my hand on my gun,
01:11:16 Yeah, you do that, Mr. Terminator.
01:11:24 I look like my mother.
01:11:26 And she's been dead, what, 15 years?
01:11:30 That's enough time. Let's go back to the car.
01:11:32 Okay.
01:11:37 What was that? Looks like a break-in.
01:11:40 -No way.
01:11:43 I don't need this. Not now.
01:11:45 Break-in rate is very high on Christmas Eve.
01:11:48 I know that, but we got a party to go to.
01:11:50 So, what do you want to do, ignore it?
01:11:56 We can't do that.
01:12:01 -There he is.
01:12:03 Eat this!
01:12:06 Go get him. Go on, get going.
01:12:18 Get up! Come on, he's getting away.
01:12:22 What are you doing lying there?
01:12:25 All right, don't move.
01:12:28 Police.
01:12:30 -Get him!
01:12:38 All right! We got him.
01:12:48 Honey, this is gonna be
01:12:52 I hope we make a good impression.
01:12:55 Nora, are you sure about this?
01:12:58 -I look like a Mafia lieutenant.
01:13:02 And Blair is never to know about the cruise.
01:13:05 I heard you the first 60 times.
01:13:14 Frohmeyer One to Frohmeyer Two.
01:13:16 -The Eagle has landed.
01:13:19 Ned! They're here!
01:13:22 -I'm not finished.
01:13:43 Guys, Blair's here!
01:13:48 I see her!
01:13:50 -They're here!
01:13:54 We raised a smart girl.
01:13:56 Welcome home!
01:13:57 They're getting out of the car!
01:13:59 She's home! Everybody, she's here!
01:14:03 Good to see you.
01:14:04 -Who's this?
01:14:06 -Vic Frohmeyer. Pleased to meet you.
01:14:09 This is so exciting. Hi, guys.
01:14:11 Your parents are dying to see you.
01:14:18 Honey, they're here!
01:14:22 -I can't believe I'm home.
01:14:26 Dad.
01:14:29 -Luther Krank. This is Nora, my wife.
01:14:33 Come here, you!
01:14:35 -Merry Christmas.
01:14:39 -You guys look great.
01:14:42 -And you've been in the sun.
01:14:45 No. I wear black to make me look lighter.
01:14:51 The party! Look, there's the party!
01:14:54 Everybody, look! Party!
01:14:58 Nice to see you.
01:15:00 I'll take the light one, you take the rest.
01:15:02 Hey, Aubie, how are you?
01:15:09 Kid.
01:15:11 Come here.
01:15:14 I'm freezing to death.
01:15:15 I'm starving out here.
01:15:18 -Seven days?
01:15:20 Any scraps I get, I give to the kids.
01:15:24 -What kids?
01:15:27 I got four: Annie, Billy, Tommy, and Chuck.
01:15:33 And all I wanted to do was give them
01:15:36 They deserve it.
01:15:42 Okay, you got 20 minutes inside.
01:15:46 Then it's back to the police car.
01:15:51 Swear?
01:15:52 On my kids' lives.
01:15:56 Have to try hickory honey ham.
01:15:59 It's Blairey's absolute favorite. It's a classic.
01:16:05 -The food's that way.
01:16:08 -We've had ham since she was a little girl.
01:16:12 -Merry Christmas.
01:16:16 I suppose this is your boyfriend.
01:16:18 -Yes. Honey.
01:16:21 -Call me Marty.
01:16:24 -Is that a Peruvian accent?
01:16:27 I lived there for five years. I miss it so much.
01:16:42 -I'm going to talk to Marty for a second.
01:16:45 He's charming.
01:16:47 -Who is that?
01:16:57 Merry Christmas.
01:16:59 Aren't you sweet?
01:17:02 Bless you.
01:18:08 I would like to propose a toast, if I may.
01:18:11 Here's to my new family and friends.
01:18:16 Thank you for making me feel so welcome.
01:18:33 And I just wanted to say...
01:18:37 thank you to all of you.
01:18:39 To our friends and our neighbors...
01:18:43 for helping us make this...
01:18:45 really, the most wonderful
01:18:50 You really have shown us
01:18:53 And thank you all so much.
01:18:55 Merry Christmas.
01:19:10 Same goes for me, double.
01:19:18 Cheers.
01:19:20 Fellas, how about a party tune?
01:19:37 G.
01:20:08 That was it?
01:20:12 I'm not really good at toasts.
01:20:17 After all they've done...
01:20:20 you couldn't just come up
01:20:24 I did. It was just short and sweet.
01:20:33 You're still moping...
01:20:35 because you don't get to go
01:20:38 There's still time.
01:20:40 -What?
01:20:43 Listen to me.
01:20:46 Enrique and Blair can stay here,
01:20:49 We go, and we all have a romantic getaway.
01:20:52 Your daughter just flew
01:20:56 with her very sweet future husband...
01:20:59 to spend Christmas with us.
01:21:01 You know...
01:21:04 I've spent six weeks planning
01:21:07 That's longer than they've been dating.
01:21:12 Everyone out there sacrificed
01:21:19 I thought maybe that might affect you.
01:21:22 Maybe have you start thinking about
01:21:27 But I really don't think that's possible.
01:21:32 It's a shame.
01:21:40 Why don't we move in a little?
01:21:50 Hi, how are you? Merry Christmas to you.
01:21:54 It's cold out there.
01:22:23 Bravo!
01:22:42 Luther!
01:22:49 Frosty?
01:23:06 Merry Christmas, Luther.
01:23:09 Merry Christmas to you, too, Walt.
01:23:11 -You're missing your party.
01:23:16 How's Bev?
01:23:18 She's having a good day. Yeah, thanks.
01:23:21 We started over to see Blair,
01:23:27 So how's the boyfriend?
01:23:29 You know, actually,
01:23:33 -Merry Christmas, Luther.
01:23:36 -You feeling okay?
01:23:40 It could've been worse.
01:23:45 You know, Nora wanted me to drop this by.
01:23:48 I'm allergic to pork,
01:23:53 Not to worry, because Mel's hams
01:23:56 with a gelatin and a fat-like substance.
01:24:00 It's very thoughtful, Luther.
01:24:08 You know, have a good one.
01:25:34 Could I come in for a minute?
01:25:39 Thanks.
01:25:43 Blair's gonna be staying with us
01:25:47 so we're not taking the cruise.
01:25:49 And Nora and I would like you guys
01:25:56 Flight leaves at 12:00 noon tomorrow.
01:25:58 You got to be there
01:26:01 It's 10 days in the Caribbean.
01:26:07 It's a dream vacation.
01:26:12 We can't take it, Luther. It's not right.
01:26:15 I didn't purchase the travel insurance.
01:26:18 So if you don't take it,
01:26:21 I'm not sure my doctor would allow it.
01:26:25 I've got that Lexon deal on the front burner.
01:26:28 Benny said he might stop by tomorrow.
01:26:31 And we couldn't leave the cat.
01:26:35 This is from us to you.
01:26:36 This is a sincere, heartfelt...
01:26:40 no-strings-attached Christmas offering...
01:26:43 to two very selfless people
01:26:48 having a very difficult time
01:26:54 Benny did say he might stop by.
01:26:59 Face it, Bev,
01:27:06 Look, I've got everything right here.
01:27:08 I got airline tickets.
01:27:12 What's it cost? If we decide to go,
01:27:17 This is a simple gift, Walt.
01:27:20 No costs, no payback.
01:27:29 -Our names aren't on the tickets.
01:27:33 What about the cat?
01:27:35 Yeah, that's a problem, huh?
01:27:39 We can't just leave him.
01:27:41 We could ask Jude Becker.
01:27:44 She's allergic.
01:27:48 I'll take the cat.
01:27:50 -What?
01:27:54 Yeah.
01:27:55 Look at that.
01:27:59 See? Maybe if you don't step on him
01:28:03 Yeah. It'll be fine.
01:28:10 -Thank you so much.
01:28:14 Well, I should get back to my party.
01:28:29 This means so much.
01:28:33 Thank you.
01:28:36 You're welcome.
01:28:40 Does this mean we have to start
01:28:45 -Of course not.
01:28:48 Because I still don't like you
01:28:51 That's good.
01:28:54 I'm not that fond of you, either.
01:29:06 Bev, we gotta pack!
01:29:10 Luther! Help me!
01:29:15 Ned!
01:29:19 Blair came home.
01:29:21 Frohmeyer took down the ladder.
01:29:24 He went inside, forgot about me.
01:29:27 Have you been up there all this time?
01:29:34 I'm frozen, stuck to Frosty!
01:29:37 I'll get you down!
01:29:52 What are you doing?
01:29:54 You swore on your kids' lives!
01:29:57 -What kids?
01:30:07 Easy, come on.
01:30:10 Go on inside. Drink something hot.
01:30:16 Get down from there. Get down off the roof!
01:30:22 My car.
01:30:24 You all right?
01:30:27 What's in that bag?
01:30:32 Not bad.
01:30:34 Good job, Santa. All right, come on.
01:30:40 -You swore to me.
01:30:48 -What's this all about? What's going on?
01:30:52 What?
01:30:59 -Marty.
01:31:03 Wait. You're the guy that was selling
01:31:07 It's a living.
01:31:10 I got to run because I can't pass up
01:31:14 It's always good for business.
01:31:17 You're welcome.
01:31:20 Santa always has to work on Christmas Eve.
01:31:26 Yeah, I suppose he does.
01:31:38 Merry Christmas!
01:32:04 Bev Scheel just called.
01:32:08 Maybe I was wrong about you.
01:32:20 This night is full of surprises.
01:32:26 Skipping Christmas. What a stupid idea.
01:32:30 Maybe next year.
01:33:14 Merry Christmas!