|
Colour of Magic The
|
| 00:00:07 |
In a distant... |
| 00:00:08 |
and second hand set of dimensions, |
| 00:00:12 |
through wavering star mists, see... |
| 00:00:15 |
the Great A'Tuin. |
| 00:00:22 |
Drifting onwards through space, |
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atop the shell of the great turtle, |
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are four giant elephants, |
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upon whose broad shoulders rests... |
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the Discworld. |
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For the people on the Disc, |
| 00:00:41 |
the turtle was a mere hypothesis, |
| 00:00:44 |
until one day, |
| 00:00:47 |
whose rim-most mountains |
| 00:00:52 |
lowered over the edge |
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containing several astrozoologists. |
| 00:01:01 |
Their mission did indeed prove |
| 00:01:04 |
the existence of the turtle. |
| 00:01:06 |
Unfortunately, |
| 00:01:11 |
they were unable to answer |
| 00:01:13 |
an even more fundamental question... |
| 00:01:16 |
What is the sex of the turtle? |
| 00:01:20 |
The remaining astrozoologists |
| 00:01:24 |
Why does it matter? |
| 00:01:26 |
So, we're gonna look |
| 00:01:30 |
That won't be very nice, will it? |
| 00:01:34 |
Since the failure of the last mission, |
| 00:01:37 |
this vital question |
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without sending a new expedition |
| 00:01:43 |
over the edge of the Disc... |
| 00:01:47 |
in this. |
| 00:01:52 |
It's a bit small. |
| 00:01:54 |
It will be somewhat bigger. |
| 00:01:57 |
Yeah, but... |
| 00:01:59 |
where in the world are you gonna find |
| 00:02:06 |
Several thousand miles hubwards |
| 00:02:09 |
in Ankh-Morpork, |
| 00:02:13 |
the ship arriving in its dock |
| 00:02:17 |
the Discworld's first tourist. |
| 00:02:20 |
He is looking forward |
| 00:02:24 |
and smells. |
| 00:02:26 |
And of course, |
| 00:02:29 |
without a visit to the city's |
| 00:02:31 |
Unseen University for wizards |
| 00:02:34 |
and its famous Tower Of Art. |
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Transcript: |
| 00:02:40 |
Synchro: Jesslataree |
| 00:02:43 |
When our story begins, |
| 00:02:45 |
wizards are not very nice. |
| 00:02:49 |
Carrying the final remains |
| 00:02:51 |
the eight heads of the orders |
| 00:02:55 |
great powers of survival, |
| 00:02:57 |
because behind |
| 00:03:00 |
there is at least |
| 00:03:03 |
trying to bump him off. |
| 00:03:06 |
Old Rumlat. |
| 00:03:08 |
He never saw it coming, |
| 00:03:10 |
You know what they say, |
| 00:03:13 |
when a wizard is tired of looking |
| 00:03:17 |
he is tired of life. |
| 00:03:21 |
I'm just speculating, obviously. |
| 00:03:28 |
We are gathered here today to... |
| 00:03:31 |
pay our respects to Old Rumlet. |
| 00:03:35 |
A wizard... |
| 00:03:39 |
Sorry. |
| 00:03:45 |
I'm not late, am I? |
| 00:03:49 |
Who is that? |
| 00:03:51 |
Rincewind, |
| 00:03:52 |
Arch Chancellor. |
| 00:03:54 |
Rincewind? |
| 00:04:00 |
Have him sent to my office |
| 00:04:03 |
Get on with it, Weatherwax. |
| 00:04:05 |
My back's killing me. |
| 00:04:07 |
Run along, Rincewind. |
| 00:04:13 |
Yes, sir. |
| 00:04:15 |
Sorry. |
| 00:04:22 |
Mister Rincewind, |
| 00:04:24 |
there are, as you know, |
| 00:04:27 |
to which the aspiring young... |
| 00:04:29 |
to which the student can aspire. |
| 00:04:32 |
In your not inconsiderable time here |
| 00:04:37 |
you have failed to reach level one. |
| 00:04:42 |
Yes, but... |
| 00:04:43 |
What the Arch Chancellor |
| 00:04:46 |
is that after decades |
| 00:04:48 |
patience seems not so much a virtue |
| 00:04:51 |
as a life sentence. |
| 00:04:54 |
- Yes, but... |
| 00:04:56 |
for your kind of person |
| 00:05:00 |
- I feel... |
| 00:05:03 |
no other course of action |
| 00:05:08 |
But it's only been 40 years. |
| 00:05:15 |
The hat. |
| 00:05:31 |
Goodbye, Mr Rincewind. |
| 00:05:51 |
In the competitive world of wizardry, |
| 00:05:53 |
the way to the top |
| 00:06:05 |
Even if you have to empty them yourself. |
| 00:06:35 |
- You can't! |
| 00:06:40 |
Now, let me tell you! |
| 00:06:42 |
Ah, thank you very... |
| 00:07:26 |
Deep in its very bowels, |
| 00:07:29 |
the departure |
| 00:07:31 |
from the Unseen University |
| 00:07:34 |
has stirred magic. |
| 00:08:58 |
Good day to thee, sir. |
| 00:09:24 |
Goodbye, world. |
| 00:09:35 |
Disappointing. |
| 00:09:39 |
Ha-low! |
| 00:09:43 |
Hello, yourself. |
| 00:09:48 |
I wish to be direct-ed |
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to an 'otel, |
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tavern, |
| 00:09:55 |
lodging house in hospice. |
| 00:10:05 |
I wish... |
| 00:10:07 |
I know a tavern. |
| 00:10:11 |
This way. |
| 00:10:24 |
Sapient pearwood. |
| 00:10:40 |
The tourist's luggage |
| 00:10:44 |
It has absolutely no brain |
| 00:10:46 |
and a homicidal attitude |
| 00:10:47 |
towards anything |
| 00:10:51 |
and would follow him anywhere.' |
| 00:11:25 |
I wish... |
| 00:11:28 |
for an acc-omodation, |
| 00:11:31 |
a room, lodgings, |
| 00:11:34 |
a roomwithaview, |
| 00:11:37 |
what is for breakfast, |
| 00:11:40 |
bathrooms, sir? |
| 00:11:44 |
He's got plenty of money. |
| 00:11:48 |
It'll be... |
| 00:11:50 |
two dollars then? |
| 00:11:52 |
And that thing |
| 00:12:00 |
Two. |
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Two-ah? |
| 00:12:12 |
Two-ah. |
| 00:12:20 |
Two-ah. |
| 00:12:27 |
Two. |
| 00:12:40 |
Shower? |
| 00:12:45 |
It is. Sapient pearwood. |
| 00:12:54 |
Itsis sonbon... ride... |
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toiletries? Toilet? |
| 00:12:59 |
May I be of assistance? |
| 00:13:02 |
Shove off, Rincewind. |
| 00:13:07 |
It won't work. |
| 00:13:08 |
It's the book, |
| 00:13:10 |
It's magic. |
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So you're a wizard! |
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And you speak Ankh-Morporkean! |
| 00:14:09 |
- Yes. I did a correspondence course. |
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Well, a tourist should always |
| 00:14:17 |
so that people will know you're one. |
| 00:14:21 |
And... |
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is that really your luggage? |
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Yes. And... |
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are you really a wizard? |
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I hear the famous Unseen University |
| 00:14:38 |
I was hoping to visit it |
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- I could say, "I did that." |
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For... For... |
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For the exams. |
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- Where is your home? |
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It's the major seaport |
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That's the Counterweight Continent, |
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We may be small |
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to all the major land masses |
| 00:15:04 |
That's because the ancient legend... |
| 00:15:07 |
It says that it's made of gold. |
| 00:15:11 |
It's not made of gold. |
| 00:15:12 |
Gold is just a really common metal. |
| 00:15:16 |
You might like to keep that... |
| 00:15:26 |
On the house. |
| 00:15:29 |
- Who is he? |
| 00:15:34 |
- What's that mean, then? |
| 00:15:57 |
You are correct in your surmise. |
| 00:16:00 |
This is, technically, false coinage. |
| 00:16:04 |
I knew it, I knew it. |
| 00:16:08 |
- What do you mean, technically? |
| 00:16:10 |
our Ankh-Morpork coins... |
| 00:16:13 |
contain rather less gold |
| 00:16:18 |
I knew it! |
| 00:16:20 |
But this, my friend, |
| 00:16:22 |
is solid gold. |
| 00:16:24 |
What?! |
| 00:16:26 |
I've gotta get back. |
| 00:16:45 |
And so, |
| 00:16:46 |
the leaders of a number of the many |
| 00:16:50 |
of other nefarious dirt bags |
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were aware that someone |
| 00:16:57 |
who appeared to have much treasure. |
| 00:17:02 |
Including Emor, its greatest thief. |
| 00:17:11 |
So... |
| 00:17:12 |
No... guards? |
| 00:17:16 |
No, why? |
| 00:17:19 |
Well, the trunk. |
| 00:17:20 |
There can't be more |
| 00:17:22 |
than two very small wands |
| 00:17:25 |
in all the cities of the circle sea, |
| 00:17:27 |
let alone a whole box. |
| 00:17:30 |
That or the... |
| 00:17:32 |
the gold. |
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Barely 2,000 rhinu. |
| 00:17:38 |
Is a rhinu one of those... |
| 00:17:41 |
big gold coins? |
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Do you think I paid |
| 00:17:48 |
I think he might |
| 00:17:51 |
I can see I've got a lot to learn. |
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An idea occurs to me. |
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Rincewind, |
| 00:18:01 |
would you perhaps consent |
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perhaps the word guide |
| 00:18:08 |
I think I could afford to pay you a... |
| 00:18:11 |
a rhinu a day. |
| 00:18:14 |
Oh, dear, |
| 00:18:16 |
I've offended you. |
| 00:18:18 |
It was an impertinent request, |
| 00:18:20 |
works of high magic to return to. |
| 00:18:23 |
One of those a day? |
| 00:18:28 |
- Two then? |
| 00:18:31 |
I want to see everything. |
| 00:18:34 |
I want to go to the slave markets |
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the Temple of Small Gods, |
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and a genuine tavern brawl. |
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No, no, I'm not suggesting |
| 00:18:47 |
I just wanna see it, that's all. |
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And some of your famous heroes, like... |
| 00:18:52 |
Cohen The Barbarian. |
| 00:18:56 |
- You do know him? |
| 00:18:59 |
Good. Well. |
| 00:19:01 |
So, it's agreed? |
| 00:19:03 |
- Agreed? |
| 00:19:05 |
Be a good chap and see to it |
| 00:19:07 |
that the innkeeper shows |
| 00:19:09 |
I insist you take |
| 00:19:15 |
in advance. |
| 00:19:17 |
Broadman, luggage, room! |
| 00:19:21 |
And perhaps when the exams are finished, |
| 00:19:27 |
Unseen University? |
| 00:19:32 |
This calls for a picture. |
| 00:19:34 |
All the best wizards have left! |
| 00:19:37 |
See you, loser! |
| 00:19:44 |
Relax, Withel. |
| 00:19:46 |
The magic chest will |
| 00:19:49 |
and, with it, the gold. |
| 00:19:55 |
Yes, we'll just have a pic. |
| 00:19:58 |
Just look over here, Rincewind, |
| 00:20:00 |
and smile. |
| 00:20:02 |
Rincewind? |
| 00:20:06 |
Hi. |
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Halt! |
| 00:20:22 |
The city gates. |
| 00:20:27 |
Attempting to leave. |
| 00:20:31 |
The Patrician, |
| 00:20:35 |
may not be particularly fair |
| 00:20:39 |
but at least, for the first time |
| 00:20:42 |
the city works. |
| 00:20:44 |
This is largely because he knows |
| 00:20:48 |
and which dissuasively vicious |
| 00:20:52 |
for whatever they are doing there. |
| 00:20:59 |
Oath breaking. |
| 00:21:02 |
The theft of a horse. |
| 00:21:05 |
No, my Lord Patrician, |
| 00:21:09 |
I paid for it fairly. |
| 00:21:12 |
Using false coinage, |
| 00:21:14 |
which is technically theft, |
| 00:21:20 |
What are we going to do with you, |
| 00:21:23 |
you little scamp? |
| 00:21:33 |
It's the Arena for you, Rincewind. |
| 00:21:35 |
What? |
| 00:21:38 |
On top of these, there is |
| 00:21:41 |
of the cowardly betrayal |
| 00:21:47 |
Shame on you, Rincewind. |
| 00:21:51 |
Will you be requiring a sword |
| 00:21:55 |
A s-s-s-s... |
| 00:22:00 |
Of course... |
| 00:22:04 |
we could be merciful. |
| 00:22:09 |
Should we be merciful? |
| 00:22:17 |
- Two rhinu. |
| 00:22:21 |
Oi! That's my door! |
| 00:22:26 |
Door's fine. |
| 00:22:30 |
Why don't you join me, Zlorf? |
| 00:22:32 |
The Assassins' Guild are our friends. |
| 00:22:37 |
I've come for the tourist. |
| 00:22:43 |
I thought we had an agreement. |
| 00:22:46 |
You don't rob, |
| 00:22:47 |
and I don't kill. |
| 00:22:58 |
I'll kill him... |
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and then you can rob him. |
| 00:23:14 |
If anybody's going to kill him, |
| 00:23:17 |
they'll need to talk to me first. |
| 00:23:20 |
Get those dwarves out of here! |
| 00:23:28 |
Who the hell are you? |
| 00:23:30 |
I am Rerpf |
| 00:23:32 |
and I'm here on behalf |
| 00:23:35 |
to protect our interests. |
| 00:23:38 |
Meaning... |
| 00:23:39 |
the little man. |
| 00:23:41 |
And how long has this guild |
| 00:23:45 |
Since this afternoon. |
| 00:23:47 |
I am Vice Guild Master |
| 00:23:50 |
tourism. |
| 00:23:52 |
And what is this... |
| 00:23:56 |
We're not quite sure. |
| 00:23:59 |
- What's a tourist? |
| 00:24:03 |
It's magic! |
| 00:24:06 |
I want you to listen very carefully |
| 00:24:09 |
to what I have to say. |
| 00:24:13 |
Otherwise, you will die. |
| 00:24:18 |
In an interesting fashion. |
| 00:24:23 |
Over a period. |
| 00:24:24 |
Please stop fidgeting like that. |
| 00:24:29 |
The Emperor of the Counterweight |
| 00:24:34 |
It appears that one of his subjects |
| 00:24:38 |
to visit our city. |
| 00:24:41 |
It appears he wishes to... |
| 00:24:49 |
look at it. |
| 00:24:52 |
You will continue to be a guide, |
| 00:24:56 |
to this... looker. |
| 00:24:58 |
This-This... Twoflower. |
| 00:25:01 |
You will make sure he returns home |
| 00:25:04 |
with a good report of our homeland. |
| 00:25:08 |
What do you say to that? |
| 00:25:10 |
I say yes. |
| 00:25:12 |
Yes, thank you, Lord. |
| 00:25:16 |
Because... |
| 00:25:18 |
it would be a tragedy |
| 00:25:21 |
untoward |
| 00:25:24 |
happen to our visitor. |
| 00:25:41 |
It will be dreadful |
| 00:25:45 |
Because the Emperor looks after his own |
| 00:25:47 |
and he could certainly extinguish us |
| 00:25:50 |
which would be dreadful for you, |
| 00:25:53 |
because I would hope, |
| 00:25:55 |
when the Empire's huge, |
| 00:25:59 |
that the avenging captains would find |
| 00:26:03 |
by the fact that my skilled operatives |
| 00:26:06 |
the colour of your liver. |
| 00:26:09 |
I see, by your face, |
| 00:26:16 |
Good luck. |
| 00:26:20 |
There's one other thing. |
| 00:26:24 |
I'm sure... |
| 00:26:27 |
you wouldn't dream of trying to escape |
| 00:26:32 |
running away. |
| 00:26:35 |
I assure you, Lord, |
| 00:26:37 |
that the thought |
| 00:26:41 |
Indeed. |
| 00:26:43 |
Then, if I were you, |
| 00:26:51 |
Don't let me detain you. |
| 00:27:30 |
You. |
| 00:27:42 |
Alright, alright. |
| 00:27:44 |
I give in. |
| 00:28:19 |
Excuse me. |
| 00:28:22 |
Rincewind, you came back! |
| 00:28:25 |
- I knew you would. |
| 00:28:28 |
It's exciting, isn't it? |
| 00:28:31 |
Better than anything |
| 00:28:35 |
Everybody say cheese! |
| 00:28:40 |
Do you think I should thank them or... |
| 00:28:42 |
Did you put them up to this? |
| 00:28:46 |
- That's where you were! |
| 00:28:52 |
Nice throw! |
| 00:28:55 |
We should be leaving. |
| 00:29:03 |
Shooni! |
| 00:29:04 |
- Beelziba! |
| 00:29:13 |
Magic! |
| 00:29:15 |
Collapsing spell. |
| 00:29:18 |
Come along, we gotta go. |
| 00:29:39 |
That's my luggage. |
| 00:29:44 |
One more time! |
| 00:29:58 |
Attaboy. |
| 00:30:04 |
So, where's Cohen The Barbarian? |
| 00:30:08 |
He's... |
| 00:30:11 |
right behind you. |
| 00:30:14 |
Look, we really ought to be going. |
| 00:30:17 |
Fantastic! |
| 00:30:18 |
No one at home |
| 00:30:24 |
All you do is rotate the lever |
| 00:30:29 |
You wait here. |
| 00:30:33 |
It's no good, I've run out of red. |
| 00:30:35 |
If you wanted red, you shouldn't have |
| 00:30:39 |
It's monochrome from now on, |
| 00:30:44 |
That's the picture imp. |
| 00:30:47 |
Yes, of course it is. |
| 00:30:49 |
You know, Rincewind, I'd like |
| 00:30:53 |
Smile please. |
| 00:30:56 |
Smile. Smile! |
| 00:30:59 |
What are we gonna see next? |
| 00:31:10 |
What a great day. |
| 00:31:19 |
That's my favourite, with Cohen. |
| 00:31:36 |
What the... |
| 00:31:38 |
Can you smell oil? |
| 00:31:40 |
I don't think so. |
| 00:31:44 |
I'll kill that bloody cat. |
| 00:31:47 |
Here, take this. |
| 00:31:50 |
Thanks. |
| 00:31:52 |
Don't mention it. |
| 00:31:55 |
Tavern fights are pretty common |
| 00:31:58 |
Yeah, well, |
| 00:32:02 |
So, innkeepers must need |
| 00:32:04 |
well, in my language, |
| 00:32:08 |
In-sewer-ants? That's a funny word, |
| 00:32:15 |
Well, say you have |
| 00:32:18 |
It might burn down. |
| 00:32:20 |
You don't want that to happen, |
| 00:32:22 |
so you take out |
| 00:32:26 |
And then I work out the odds |
| 00:32:30 |
and then add a bit. |
| 00:32:31 |
And then you pay me some money, |
| 00:32:37 |
Oh, no. |
| 00:32:39 |
But, yes. |
| 00:32:44 |
Well, then if it does burn down, |
| 00:32:46 |
I pay you the value of the tavern. |
| 00:32:50 |
It's a bit like a bet, right? |
| 00:32:53 |
A wager? Yes, I suppose it is. |
| 00:32:58 |
Are you sure you can't smell oil? |
| 00:33:01 |
No. I can smell burning. |
| 00:33:31 |
Did you in-sewer the Drum? |
| 00:33:34 |
Luckily for Broadman, I still have |
| 00:33:38 |
You bet Broadman |
| 00:33:42 |
Standard valuation 200 rhinu, why? |
| 00:33:47 |
You-You dozy idiot! |
| 00:33:50 |
Just carry on |
| 00:33:54 |
your appointment is later. |
| 00:33:57 |
What's next? |
| 00:33:59 |
What's next?! |
| 00:34:01 |
We'll be hung, drawn and quartered |
| 00:34:04 |
- Why? |
| 00:34:07 |
Look! The whole of Ankh-Morpork |
| 00:34:13 |
- What about my luggage. |
| 00:34:29 |
Tell you what, |
| 00:34:32 |
it'd be wise for them |
| 00:34:34 |
and make themselves very scarce. |
| 00:34:39 |
Thank you very much, Twoflower. |
| 00:34:41 |
It says that Chirm |
| 00:34:45 |
And very, very dangerous. |
| 00:34:47 |
Really? |
| 00:34:53 |
That's the oil bond store going up. |
| 00:34:58 |
Rincewind! |
| 00:35:05 |
- Look at that over there. |
| 00:35:13 |
Oi! Oi, you! |
| 00:35:15 |
Come back here! That's my horse! |
| 00:35:17 |
Come back! |
| 00:35:25 |
I'm Rincewind. |
| 00:35:29 |
The Octavo, |
| 00:35:33 |
locked and chained |
| 00:35:35 |
of the Unseen University. |
| 00:35:37 |
The spells imprisoned in its pages |
| 00:35:40 |
lead a secret life of their own. |
| 00:35:43 |
And Rincewind's departure |
| 00:35:46 |
has left them deeply troubled. |
| 00:35:49 |
I can't remember it |
| 00:35:58 |
Not since that time a young wizard... |
| 00:36:04 |
Oh, dear. |
| 00:36:07 |
I've expelled him, haven't I? |
| 00:36:11 |
Nobody knows where he is, Librarian. |
| 00:36:13 |
Not even the Patrician's |
| 00:36:16 |
Though they seem to think he'll turn up, |
| 00:36:21 |
Look, |
| 00:36:22 |
he's the only person |
| 00:36:25 |
who has... |
| 00:36:30 |
with his bare hands. |
| 00:36:32 |
We have no idea the effect |
| 00:36:35 |
in the outside world. |
| 00:36:38 |
At least when he was a student, |
| 00:36:40 |
we knew where he was. |
| 00:36:43 |
Perhaps I've been a bit hasty. |
| 00:36:46 |
Who else knows about this? |
| 00:36:48 |
Nobody, Arch Chancellor. |
| 00:36:51 |
Good. |
| 00:36:52 |
Let's keep it that way, shall we? |
| 00:36:57 |
Apart from Greyhold Spold, |
| 00:37:01 |
His days are probably |
| 00:37:05 |
On the subject of which, |
| 00:37:08 |
recently. |
| 00:37:10 |
That's because he's dead, |
| 00:37:15 |
I'm just glad nobody wants to be |
| 00:37:18 |
Perish the thought, Horace. |
| 00:37:20 |
I am looking for a book. |
| 00:37:27 |
New shoes? |
| 00:37:34 |
And new hat. |
| 00:37:37 |
Mr Trymon. |
| 00:38:20 |
How very neat and tidy. |
| 00:38:24 |
Did you know... |
| 00:38:25 |
that in the event |
| 00:38:26 |
of the Arch Chancellor's sad demise, |
| 00:38:30 |
he would be succeeded |
| 00:38:35 |
He's demonstrated |
| 00:38:40 |
Up to now. |
| 00:38:43 |
I think it's very important |
| 00:38:48 |
If you want to get |
| 00:38:57 |
The position of Head Librarian |
| 00:38:59 |
has never really appealed to you, sir? |
| 00:39:08 |
Good. |
| 00:39:12 |
It is quite possible |
| 00:39:14 |
that the next Arch Chancellor |
| 00:39:17 |
may well smile |
| 00:39:19 |
upon those |
| 00:39:22 |
of things being well organised. |
| 00:39:33 |
Is everything in order down there? |
| 00:39:35 |
Absolutely. Everything is in... |
| 00:39:38 |
alphabetical order, quite. |
| 00:39:57 |
So, |
| 00:39:58 |
this is the famous Octavo. |
| 00:40:01 |
Famous and dangerous. |
| 00:40:03 |
How long has it been like this? |
| 00:40:05 |
It's always been a bit strange, |
| 00:40:09 |
But, for some reason, |
| 00:40:12 |
lively. |
| 00:40:15 |
Why? |
| 00:40:17 |
I don't know. |
| 00:40:21 |
Who does? |
| 00:40:26 |
Greyhold Spold. |
| 00:40:30 |
Before my time. |
| 00:40:33 |
Greyhold Spold. |
| 00:40:35 |
How convenient. |
| 00:41:00 |
Rincewind? |
| 00:41:05 |
Twoflower? |
| 00:41:09 |
Twoflower! |
| 00:41:15 |
Twoflower! |
| 00:41:18 |
"Pit of Ultimate Despair." |
| 00:41:23 |
"Dread Tower of Darkness." |
| 00:41:33 |
"Traveller." |
| 00:41:35 |
"The Hospitable Temple |
| 00:41:37 |
of Bel-Shamharoth |
| 00:41:41 |
lies a thousand paces hubwards." |
| 00:41:48 |
Hubwards. |
| 00:41:55 |
"The Wyrmberg |
| 00:41:57 |
and palace of the Dragon Lord |
| 00:42:00 |
lies a thousand paces |
| 00:42:02 |
rimwards." |
| 00:42:06 |
Dragons. |
| 00:42:08 |
I've always wanted to see dragons. |
| 00:42:14 |
Dragons it is. |
| 00:42:17 |
Rincewind?! |
| 00:42:27 |
Your lifetime is up, Rincewind. |
| 00:42:29 |
- I can't hang around all day. |
| 00:42:34 |
- What have you done with the tourist? |
| 00:42:38 |
He was lured by the attraction |
| 00:42:41 |
So at least the Patrician |
| 00:42:43 |
won't be sending out his men to kill me |
| 00:42:46 |
There is a distinct possibility |
| 00:42:49 |
that he may not need to. |
| 00:42:58 |
What are you grinning at? |
| 00:43:01 |
I'm sorry, I can't help it. |
| 00:43:04 |
Now, would you be so kind |
| 00:43:09 |
It won't hurt. |
| 00:43:10 |
Getting torn to pieces |
| 00:43:13 |
It will be over very quickly. |
| 00:43:16 |
And, of course, |
| 00:43:32 |
Atoni. |
| 00:43:36 |
Who are you?! |
| 00:43:46 |
Oh, dear. |
| 00:43:47 |
I wonder if it was something I said. |
| 00:43:56 |
Don't think I owe you |
| 00:43:59 |
One of the consolations |
| 00:44:02 |
was the fact that |
| 00:44:05 |
a near-death experience again, |
| 00:44:09 |
737, 738, |
| 00:44:11 |
739. Dragons. |
| 00:44:13 |
Dragons. 741, 742, 743. |
| 00:44:18 |
Dragons? |
| 00:44:20 |
Nobody believes in them any more. |
| 00:45:44 |
I never really wanted |
| 00:45:48 |
so, if you're here for - |
| 00:45:50 |
For the Octavo, |
| 00:45:52 |
Mr Spold. |
| 00:45:55 |
You're not here to... |
| 00:45:58 |
What about the Octavo? |
| 00:46:01 |
It's rather... |
| 00:46:06 |
And it seems that you might be able |
| 00:46:12 |
It's not all there, you know? |
| 00:46:16 |
As in mad? |
| 00:46:18 |
As in... |
| 00:46:20 |
one spell short of eight. |
| 00:46:27 |
One of the eight spells is missing? |
| 00:46:33 |
Well, that's rather badly organised. |
| 00:46:36 |
Certainly extremely dangerous. |
| 00:46:42 |
So, where is it now? |
| 00:46:45 |
Do think very carefully, Mr Spold. |
| 00:46:50 |
I... |
| 00:46:52 |
really wish I did know, |
| 00:46:55 |
Mr Trymon. |
| 00:47:40 |
Try breathing through this. |
| 00:48:00 |
Dark in here, isn't it? |
| 00:48:21 |
Fire's gone out. |
| 00:49:20 |
Rincewind! |
| 00:49:21 |
Attaboy, |
| 00:49:25 |
It brought me. |
| 00:49:32 |
It's amazing, isn't it? |
| 00:49:34 |
Yes, if you like |
| 00:49:37 |
I think it's just amazing. |
| 00:49:39 |
Bit under populated though. |
| 00:49:42 |
Listen. |
| 00:49:43 |
- Could it be the home of the dragons? |
| 00:49:47 |
Dragons don't exist. |
| 00:49:48 |
All my life, |
| 00:49:57 |
I think... |
| 00:50:07 |
I don't believe in them! |
| 00:50:09 |
They don't exist! |
| 00:50:28 |
No, I just dazed, actually. |
| 00:50:32 |
Who said that? |
| 00:50:33 |
Well, don't just lie there. |
| 00:50:35 |
- Pull me out! |
| 00:50:38 |
Come on, come on, pull me out. |
| 00:50:41 |
You... You spoke! |
| 00:50:44 |
I'm a magic sword. |
| 00:50:46 |
You weren't born with a birth mark |
| 00:50:51 |
No? Oh, just asking. |
| 00:50:53 |
- Were you with the other fellow? |
| 00:50:56 |
It's just the dragon's got him, |
| 00:50:58 |
and so I expect you'll be in a hurry |
| 00:51:01 |
and rescue him |
| 00:51:05 |
Not really, no. |
| 00:51:07 |
Come on. |
| 00:51:11 |
Come on! |
| 00:51:17 |
Right, take a firm grip. |
| 00:51:19 |
That's good. |
| 00:51:22 |
Could be worse, |
| 00:51:24 |
this could have been an anvil. |
| 00:51:28 |
Finally! |
| 00:51:31 |
The dragon's headed hubwards! |
| 00:51:36 |
Even if they did exist, |
| 00:51:39 |
I'm not cut out for dragons. |
| 00:51:41 |
Nothing to it. |
| 00:51:42 |
I'll show you! |
| 00:51:47 |
Right, I suggest we start |
| 00:51:50 |
Over there. |
| 00:51:55 |
No, you don't. |
| 00:52:06 |
You see, there's nothing there. |
| 00:52:11 |
You can start with her instead. |
| 00:52:17 |
I don't know how to be a hero. |
| 00:52:20 |
Obviously. |
| 00:52:21 |
But I propose to teach you. |
| 00:52:24 |
Look, I'll be frank, |
| 00:52:26 |
I've worked with far better material |
| 00:52:29 |
or I'll chop your head off! |
| 00:52:35 |
- I mean it. |
| 00:52:41 |
Good boy. |
| 00:53:09 |
There's an ambitious wizard |
| 00:53:12 |
I think a certain degree of... |
| 00:53:17 |
Especially if he's talked to Trymon. |
| 00:53:26 |
Any suggestions? |
| 00:53:29 |
Well, obviously, you attack. |
| 00:53:32 |
Why didn't I think of that? |
| 00:53:36 |
Because you're a defeatist. |
| 00:53:38 |
On your marks, |
| 00:53:40 |
get set, |
| 00:53:43 |
go! |
| 00:53:55 |
I ever tell you about the time |
| 00:54:00 |
Let's have a look at you... madam! |
| 00:54:04 |
Where is the tourist? |
| 00:54:05 |
He's been taken back |
| 00:54:09 |
What is this Wyrmberg? |
| 00:54:10 |
The Wyrmberg. |
| 00:54:12 |
It is dragon home. |
| 00:54:16 |
They don't exist. |
| 00:54:17 |
But I suppose you'll be wanting |
| 00:54:21 |
My point precisely. |
| 00:54:23 |
He's not my friend. |
| 00:54:25 |
But I suppose you'd better take me |
| 00:54:27 |
Wyrmberg of yours. |
| 00:54:31 |
Listen. |
| 00:54:40 |
I didn't... I didn't know dragons |
| 00:54:43 |
- Didn't you? |
| 00:54:50 |
Watch him as we get closer |
| 00:54:59 |
That, at least, |
| 00:55:37 |
- Jump now. |
| 00:55:42 |
Surrender. |
| 00:55:45 |
Never. |
| 00:55:47 |
Never. |
| 00:55:48 |
Of course not. |
| 00:55:49 |
He's a hero, isn't he? |
| 00:55:51 |
I taught him myself. |
| 00:55:58 |
And what is your name, hero? |
| 00:56:02 |
So that we know... who you were. |
| 00:56:06 |
My name is... |
| 00:56:08 |
is... |
| 00:56:10 |
Rincewind of Ankh. |
| 00:56:12 |
And I am Liessa Dragonlady. |
| 00:56:15 |
You are to challenge me |
| 00:56:19 |
No. No, I can't. |
| 00:56:21 |
You are mistaken. |
| 00:56:24 |
Liort, help our hero |
| 00:56:29 |
I am sure he is anxious |
| 00:56:32 |
No, really! |
| 00:56:39 |
- If you are looking after my... |
| 00:56:43 |
If you are religious, I mean. |
| 00:56:45 |
None who enter the Wyrmberg |
| 00:56:50 |
Except metaphorically speaking, |
| 00:57:06 |
My Trymon. |
| 00:57:08 |
Good day, Arch Chancellor. |
| 00:57:13 |
New new shoes and hat, huh? |
| 00:57:17 |
Well, you came to see me? |
| 00:57:20 |
I've taken the liberty |
| 00:57:24 |
About the Octavo, perhaps? |
| 00:57:28 |
It appears |
| 00:57:30 |
that one of the great spells is missing |
| 00:57:34 |
And you were wondering, |
| 00:57:38 |
where it might have got to. |
| 00:57:42 |
Do you know, Arch Chancellor? |
| 00:57:46 |
If I did... |
| 00:57:48 |
I think I've forgotten. |
| 00:57:54 |
Old Spold did. |
| 00:57:58 |
Too late. |
| 00:57:59 |
He's already popped |
| 00:58:02 |
He always had difficulty breathing, |
| 00:58:04 |
even before he managed |
| 00:58:08 |
in his own room, |
| 00:58:10 |
from the outside. |
| 00:58:14 |
Great shame about Spold. |
| 00:58:34 |
Just clouds. |
| 00:58:39 |
I expect this is all some sort |
| 00:58:42 |
I expect they'll release me soon. |
| 00:58:47 |
And when I get back,... |
| 00:58:49 |
I can tell people that I saw dragons. |
| 00:58:54 |
Imagine that. |
| 00:59:02 |
Dragons. |
| 00:59:22 |
I obey, Lord. |
| 00:59:25 |
Obey? |
| 00:59:27 |
Of course, Lord. |
| 00:59:31 |
Open it? |
| 00:59:55 |
Arch Chancellor? |
| 01:00:10 |
Arch Chancellor? |
| 01:00:17 |
Such a great shame. |
| 01:00:19 |
About? |
| 01:00:24 |
Spold, you mean? |
| 01:00:27 |
- Is that all, Trymon? |
| 01:00:30 |
Very good. Oh, Trymon? |
| 01:00:33 |
As you leave, could you tidy |
| 01:00:37 |
some prankster student |
| 01:00:40 |
It seems to have... |
| 01:00:41 |
malfunctioned. |
| 01:00:44 |
I shall have it seen to, |
| 01:00:53 |
And I do hope Spold's shoes |
| 01:01:23 |
We fight to the death. |
| 01:01:26 |
Yours. |
| 01:01:29 |
I suppose I ought to warn you that... |
| 01:01:32 |
I have a magic sword. |
| 01:01:34 |
- That's me. |
| 01:01:38 |
Hello! |
| 01:01:40 |
He-llo. |
| 01:01:43 |
Prepare to be defeated. |
| 01:01:45 |
I don't think so... |
| 01:02:00 |
Going well, isn't it? |
| 01:02:06 |
Call yourself a magic sword? Pah! |
| 01:02:08 |
Yeah, I do, actually. |
| 01:02:18 |
Hang on, Rincewind. |
| 01:02:19 |
Let go, damn you, or we'll both die. |
| 01:02:22 |
That's easy for you to say. |
| 01:02:25 |
What don't you save me? |
| 01:02:31 |
Is that you? |
| 01:02:34 |
Does that mean... |
| 01:02:36 |
that I'm gonna die? |
| 01:02:38 |
Let go! |
| 01:02:44 |
You're a fine-looking dragon, |
| 01:02:47 |
Even if you did just turn up. |
| 01:02:49 |
You summoned me, Master. |
| 01:02:52 |
You have... the power. |
| 01:02:55 |
You mean, I just thought of you |
| 01:03:01 |
But I've thought of dragons all my life. |
| 01:03:04 |
The power only works |
| 01:03:06 |
As the dragons fly further away, |
| 01:03:09 |
we begin to dwindle and fade. |
| 01:03:13 |
All Dragonlords have the power, |
| 01:03:15 |
as, of course, |
| 01:03:18 |
who, incidentally, |
| 01:03:20 |
is trying to hack your friend |
| 01:03:23 |
- What?! |
| 01:03:33 |
Ashoni! |
| 01:03:38 |
Ebriate! |
| 01:03:49 |
Oh, no, not you! |
| 01:04:06 |
How was that? You alright? |
| 01:04:09 |
- Aren't you scared of heights? |
| 01:04:12 |
You're just as dead if you fall |
| 01:04:15 |
that's what I say. |
| 01:04:17 |
It's not the actual falling, |
| 01:04:19 |
it's more the hitting |
| 01:04:23 |
Do you think dragons can fly |
| 01:04:26 |
That would be something. |
| 01:04:28 |
I think you might be mad. |
| 01:04:31 |
That's where we camped. |
| 01:04:33 |
- I didn't tell you about the time... |
| 01:04:37 |
- You alright? |
| 01:04:40 |
Come on, now! Hyagh! Hyagh! |
| 01:04:45 |
Hello?! |
| 01:04:47 |
Magic sword here! |
| 01:04:49 |
If anyone can hear me out there, |
| 01:04:53 |
who doesn't realize they're an orphan |
| 01:04:58 |
Are you alright? |
| 01:05:04 |
What's happening to the air? |
| 01:05:09 |
Oh, my. |
| 01:05:16 |
Dragons. |
| 01:05:18 |
Dragons, think of dragons. |
| 01:05:20 |
Think of dragons! |
| 01:05:27 |
It won't work. |
| 01:05:30 |
You don't really believe in them. |
| 01:05:34 |
Dragons! |
| 01:05:46 |
Meanwhile, |
| 01:05:49 |
the Krullians have not given up |
| 01:05:53 |
to determine the sex of the turtle. |
| 01:06:06 |
Are the chelonauts ready, |
| 01:06:08 |
- Indeed, Arch Astronomer. |
| 01:06:13 |
The launch window, |
| 01:06:18 |
12 hours, when Great A'Tuin's tail |
| 01:06:22 |
to determine its... sex. |
| 01:06:25 |
And all that remains |
| 01:06:27 |
is to find |
| 01:06:32 |
The ocean shall provide. |
| 01:06:35 |
It always does. |
| 01:06:42 |
Look at the horizon. |
| 01:06:45 |
It's alright. |
| 01:06:48 |
Admittedly, there seems to be |
| 01:06:52 |
We're being carried over the edge! |
| 01:07:06 |
We're going to run out of world! |
| 01:07:09 |
We are? |
| 01:07:21 |
Help! |
| 01:07:23 |
Rincewind. |
| 01:07:42 |
Don't mind me. |
| 01:07:46 |
I don't want to leave this world! |
| 01:07:52 |
A prospect immensely troubling |
| 01:07:56 |
to the Octavo. |
| 01:08:03 |
It's you. |
| 01:08:08 |
I just came to see |
| 01:08:12 |
Do you have an appointment? |
| 01:08:13 |
I've never needed an appointment before. |
| 01:08:16 |
Well, the Arch Chancellor's |
| 01:08:19 |
- It's just... |
| 01:08:21 |
The Arch Chancellor |
| 01:08:23 |
is going to have been very ill, |
| 01:08:26 |
And must not be disturbed. |
| 01:08:45 |
Can you smell burning? |
| 01:08:55 |
Have I been smoking in my sleep? |
| 01:09:02 |
I could have sworn |
| 01:09:07 |
Why don't you come with me instead? |
| 01:09:10 |
There's something I know |
| 01:09:22 |
Trymon. |
| 01:09:23 |
Oh, dear. |
| 01:09:40 |
You'd better not monkey around with it, |
| 01:09:44 |
The last person who went near it... |
| 01:09:49 |
It was a long time ago. |
| 01:09:52 |
All I'm saying is... |
| 01:09:54 |
he never passed any exams after. |
| 01:10:06 |
As a matter of interest, |
| 01:10:10 |
what exactly did they do... |
| 01:10:15 |
I never said anything |
| 01:10:18 |
Rincewind? |
| 01:10:20 |
Did I say Rincewind? |
| 01:10:23 |
I meant whichever perpetual |
| 01:10:27 |
who monkeyed around with the Octavo. |
| 01:10:31 |
Rincewind. |
| 01:10:35 |
So... |
| 01:10:36 |
when the spell left the Octavo, |
| 01:10:41 |
where, exactly, did it go? |
| 01:10:54 |
- Get off, will you?! |
| 01:10:57 |
- Yes, stop, will you?! |
| 01:11:01 |
That's actually twice now. |
| 01:11:05 |
Thank you. |
| 01:11:06 |
Say again? |
| 01:11:08 |
I said thank you! |
| 01:11:15 |
Stop that. Will you stop that?! |
| 01:11:17 |
Look, a polite shake of the hand, |
| 01:11:20 |
having first checked |
| 01:11:25 |
in that old, quaint, |
| 01:11:27 |
Ankh-Morporkean tradition, |
| 01:11:30 |
would be sufficient! |
| 01:11:35 |
I'm on the edge of the world! |
| 01:11:38 |
Seeing things that most people |
| 01:11:42 |
On an adventure |
| 01:11:45 |
unimaginable in one lifetime. |
| 01:11:49 |
It's all thanks to you, Rincewind. |
| 01:11:54 |
You forgot the near-death |
| 01:11:58 |
I like to think of them |
| 01:12:01 |
With the best guide |
| 01:12:03 |
a little old in-sewerance clerk |
| 01:12:06 |
could ever hope for. |
| 01:12:25 |
I would have been fine, of course. |
| 01:12:28 |
Even falling from the Wyrmberg. |
| 01:12:31 |
Because to stop falling |
| 01:12:35 |
is only a Level Two spell. |
| 01:12:40 |
Actually, I was |
| 01:12:43 |
sort of hoping |
| 01:12:46 |
you know? |
| 01:12:48 |
What, magic? |
| 01:12:52 |
Like what? |
| 01:12:55 |
In a fight, |
| 01:13:00 |
Turning people into animals |
| 01:13:23 |
Look... |
| 01:13:26 |
the thing is, I never really |
| 01:13:34 |
I only know one spell. |
| 01:13:38 |
And even that I got by accident. |
| 01:13:42 |
What does it do? |
| 01:13:46 |
Well, I don't know. |
| 01:13:48 |
I suppose it could do anything. |
| 01:13:52 |
But it's from |
| 01:13:57 |
The Octavo. |
| 01:13:59 |
The Octavo? |
| 01:14:04 |
How did you learn it? |
| 01:14:07 |
When I was a much younger student |
| 01:14:11 |
I agreed to open the Octavo |
| 01:14:17 |
Pint of beer, I think it was. |
| 01:14:20 |
It was as if it was waiting for me. |
| 01:14:31 |
I only had a second |
| 01:14:33 |
before the spell leapt from the book |
| 01:14:36 |
and settled in my memory |
| 01:14:47 |
- Well, then what happened? |
| 01:14:51 |
and thrashed me, of course. |
| 01:14:53 |
Never did get the pint of beer. |
| 01:14:57 |
What did the spell say, exactly? |
| 01:15:00 |
It had vanished from the page, |
| 01:15:02 |
so nobody will know what it says |
| 01:15:06 |
Or until I die, of course, |
| 01:15:08 |
and then it'll, sort of, say itself. |
| 01:15:13 |
- And nobody knows... |
| 01:15:17 |
To know that, you would need |
| 01:15:23 |
Now you tell me! |
| 01:15:38 |
Why didn't we go over the edge? |
| 01:15:42 |
Because our log hit that rope. |
| 01:15:46 |
I think it's called the Circumfence. |
| 01:15:48 |
It runs around |
| 01:15:51 |
No, you mean the circumference. |
| 01:15:53 |
The circumference goes round |
| 01:15:56 |
So does the Circumfence. |
| 01:16:09 |
I suppose that's the Rimbow. |
| 01:16:14 |
It's just so beautiful. |
| 01:16:19 |
Great. |
| 01:16:21 |
It's a nice view before we die. |
| 01:16:26 |
Do you see the eighth colour? |
| 01:16:31 |
That's the colour of magic. |
| 01:16:43 |
Bet you there are a lot |
| 01:16:46 |
Yes, quite a number. |
| 01:16:51 |
Hey, that star's new. |
| 01:16:55 |
What's the point? Who will we tell? |
| 01:16:58 |
We're never gonna get off this rock. |
| 01:17:01 |
Unless we get in the boat. |
| 01:17:03 |
Well, unless we get in the... |
| 01:17:06 |
That boat. |
| 01:17:10 |
Of course, I could stay here forever. |
| 01:17:14 |
On balance, I know |
| 01:17:17 |
but I do like the idea |
| 01:17:23 |
Are you sure? |
| 01:17:30 |
I'm sure. |
| 01:18:10 |
Civilisation. |
| 01:18:17 |
Lovely to see you're still here, |
| 01:18:20 |
Do you know what happens... |
| 01:18:24 |
All the spells that he has memorised |
| 01:18:28 |
It's one of the first things we learn. |
| 01:18:31 |
It's not quite true |
| 01:18:34 |
A great spell |
| 01:18:36 |
in the nearest mind ready |
| 01:18:59 |
There you are. |
| 01:19:11 |
You are going to recapture the spell... |
| 01:19:14 |
from its host? |
| 01:19:16 |
Allow for wind speed, |
| 01:19:20 |
Adjust for temperature. |
| 01:19:26 |
There. |
| 01:19:28 |
Of course, it'll take a while |
| 01:19:32 |
then the spell will |
| 01:19:35 |
along the ionised path, |
| 01:19:37 |
back here, to me. |
| 01:19:40 |
Remarkable. |
| 01:19:43 |
If, dare I say... |
| 01:19:46 |
a little old fashioned. |
| 01:19:48 |
As for what happens |
| 01:19:52 |
are spoken together, |
| 01:19:53 |
it might interest a wizard now, |
| 01:19:57 |
Especially when they aspire... |
| 01:20:01 |
to wear the big shoes of all. |
| 01:20:03 |
Becoming your second |
| 01:20:05 |
has always been |
| 01:20:09 |
Yes, of course it has. |
| 01:20:11 |
I wish only to acquire knowledge, |
| 01:20:15 |
Which, as we know,... |
| 01:20:18 |
is power. |
| 01:20:19 |
And so, for the furtherance |
| 01:20:23 |
of my knowledge, master, |
| 01:20:26 |
when the eight spells are said... |
| 01:20:28 |
To receive that ultimate nugget, |
| 01:20:31 |
you'll have to do much better than that, |
| 01:20:36 |
I congratulate you, master, |
| 01:20:38 |
I can see that we must all get up |
| 01:20:41 |
if we are to get the better of you. |
| 01:20:43 |
Early in the morning? |
| 01:20:45 |
My dear lad, you'll have to stay up |
| 01:20:49 |
Come. |
| 01:20:52 |
Galder. |
| 01:20:54 |
It's the Octavo. |
| 01:20:57 |
It's going... really ape. |
| 01:21:08 |
Right. |
| 01:21:10 |
What's going on here? |
| 01:21:14 |
Why are the spells so restless? |
| 01:21:18 |
The key. |
| 01:21:54 |
So, back in civilisation. |
| 01:21:58 |
Yes, it looks like civilisation to me. |
| 01:22:01 |
Welcome to Krull. |
| 01:22:04 |
My name is Marchesa. |
| 01:22:07 |
I hope you're not proposing |
| 01:22:10 |
Certainly not. |
| 01:22:12 |
- Good. |
| 01:22:16 |
Thank you for another fine mess, |
| 01:22:22 |
Come on! |
| 01:22:40 |
Here we are, |
| 01:22:43 |
on an island we have no hope of leaving. |
| 01:22:47 |
And, what's more, we've... |
| 01:23:10 |
Look at all those worlds. |
| 01:23:14 |
It's fantastic. |
| 01:23:36 |
Wonder who's gonna be |
| 01:23:40 |
Someone who isn't going |
| 01:23:43 |
that's who. |
| 01:24:22 |
In the annals |
| 01:24:25 |
of the exploration of our cosmos, |
| 01:24:29 |
many have been the valiant efforts |
| 01:24:33 |
of our cosmochelonians |
| 01:24:35 |
and astrozoologists, |
| 01:24:38 |
in their quest for knowledge |
| 01:24:42 |
of the Great A'Tuin. |
| 01:24:51 |
And you said we had no way of escaping. |
| 01:24:53 |
Just keep walking, |
| 01:24:57 |
But I wasn't expecting an audience. |
| 01:25:04 |
As soon as we get a chance, |
| 01:25:11 |
But never... |
| 01:25:13 |
has the bravery |
| 01:25:15 |
of those who laid down |
| 01:25:19 |
in the pursuit |
| 01:25:22 |
of the answer |
| 01:25:25 |
of the sex... |
| 01:25:27 |
of the turtle, |
| 01:25:29 |
been more valid |
| 01:25:31 |
by those who, today, venture forth... |
| 01:25:40 |
- to certain death. |
| 01:25:45 |
Depths! |
| 01:25:47 |
These two... specially-trained |
| 01:25:51 |
highly-skilled chelonauts |
| 01:25:54 |
will be honoured |
| 01:25:57 |
by the chronicles of Krull. |
| 01:26:00 |
- Is there a toilet in this suit? |
| 01:26:04 |
It's just that I think |
| 01:26:08 |
I give you... |
| 01:26:10 |
heroes! |
| 01:26:12 |
Not just of Krull, |
| 01:26:14 |
but of the galaxy! |
| 01:26:36 |
On the count of three, |
| 01:26:37 |
we make a run for it, that way. |
| 01:26:45 |
I don't think it's them. |
| 01:26:48 |
You don't think |
| 01:26:52 |
Guards! Guards! |
| 01:26:57 |
To the top of the ship! |
| 01:27:01 |
Back up? Not for me, I'm off. |
| 01:27:04 |
Perhaps you're right. |
| 01:27:27 |
To the library! |
| 01:27:30 |
Quick! |
| 01:27:47 |
Head Librarian? |
| 01:27:57 |
To the Great Hall! |
| 01:28:14 |
I wonder if they're gonna send |
| 01:28:31 |
Stop, now! |
| 01:28:32 |
This time, |
| 01:28:41 |
Surrender! |
| 01:28:45 |
Now, listen. |
| 01:28:46 |
We'll tell them |
| 01:28:49 |
unless they let us go. Right? |
| 01:28:52 |
And that's all |
| 01:28:57 |
That's it. It'll lift off now. |
| 01:29:00 |
Stop where you are! |
| 01:29:05 |
- What was that? |
| 01:29:09 |
I thought I heard something. |
| 01:29:11 |
Twelve... |
| 01:29:13 |
That's good, make it |
| 01:29:15 |
Ten... |
| 01:29:17 |
- I think it's stuck. |
| 01:29:20 |
You're not messing about |
| 01:29:23 |
- No, of course not. |
| 01:29:47 |
What is the Octavo doing? |
| 01:30:04 |
To the roof! |
| 01:30:14 |
To the Tower Of Art! |
| 01:30:26 |
How many steps are there? |
| 01:30:28 |
Eight thousand, eight hundred... |
| 01:30:30 |
And eighty eight. |
| 01:30:37 |
Heave! |
| 01:30:38 |
Nine... Nine... |
| 01:30:41 |
- What was that? |
| 01:30:45 |
What? |
| 01:30:48 |
Nine, eight... |
| 01:30:50 |
- That's it, I fixed it! |
| 01:30:54 |
We've gotta get off this thing. |
| 01:30:57 |
One! |
| 01:31:00 |
Lift-off! |
| 01:31:11 |
The stars! |
| 01:31:14 |
The whole damn sky, full of worlds! |
| 01:31:17 |
Places no-one's ever gonna see, |
| 01:32:23 |
I've not seen that one before. |
| 01:32:26 |
I don't know |
| 01:32:28 |
but that... |
| 01:32:30 |
that mist is important. |
| 01:32:33 |
So, what's happening? |
| 01:32:35 |
I fear... |
| 01:32:38 |
the only way to find out exactly |
| 01:32:41 |
is to perform the Rite Of AshkEnte. |
| 01:32:48 |
Thank you, Arch Chancellor. |
| 01:33:14 |
Nice try. |
| 01:33:16 |
That mist is a change spell, |
| 01:33:19 |
created by the Octavo. |
| 01:33:22 |
The whole world is changing. |
| 01:33:34 |
For the better, I think. |
| 01:34:14 |
That's so pretty. |
| 01:34:18 |
I really should name it. |
| 01:34:28 |
Has anybody seen the Arch Chancellor? |
| 01:34:37 |
And how can I help you? |
| 01:35:03 |
I'll give it a name, Goodbye World! |
| 01:35:40 |
I understand that the Octavo |
| 01:35:42 |
is anxious |
| 01:35:46 |
As much as it pains me to say this, |
| 01:35:49 |
Rincewind must not die. |
| 01:35:53 |
Death. |
| 01:35:55 |
- I've sent someone to find him. |
| 01:36:07 |
Gentlemen, the light... fantastic! |
| 01:36:11 |
The star is life, not death. |
| 01:36:13 |
- Are those things demons? |
| 01:36:20 |
- Who are you? |
| 01:36:22 |
The Barbarian! |
| 01:36:38 |
We have gone beyond... |
| 01:36:41 |
wisdom. |
| 00:00:10 |
to the top is via dead |
| 00:00:15 |
Even if you have to empty them yourself. |
| 00:00:18 |
There is simply no room for your kind |
| 00:00:25 |
What are we going to do |
| 00:00:32 |
Is everything in order down there? |
| 00:00:37 |
Famous and... dangerous. |
| 00:00:40 |
You'll continue to be a guide, |
| 00:00:46 |
He says he's a tourist. |
| 00:00:48 |
You'll make sure that he returns home |
| 00:00:52 |
What do I have worth stealing? |
| 00:00:56 |
It would be a tragedy should anything... |
| 00:01:09 |
We're going to run out of world! |
| 00:01:15 |
I can't remember it |
| 00:01:18 |
One of the eight spells is missing? |
| 00:01:22 |
Do you think it could be |
| 00:01:25 |
Don't be ridiculous, |
| 00:01:29 |
When the spell left the Octavo, |
| 00:01:35 |
Ashoni! |
| 00:01:39 |
To the library! |
| 00:01:42 |
Head Librarian? |
| 00:01:45 |
Nobody knows what it does. |
| 00:01:48 |
To know that, you would |
| 00:01:52 |
And how can I help you? |
| 00:01:58 |
The Krullians have lost a |
| 00:02:00 |
the edge of the world |
| 00:02:03 |
of the turtle which carries the Disc. |
| 00:02:05 |
The whole damn sky, full of worlds! |
| 00:02:08 |
Places no-one's ever |
| 00:02:16 |
The result of their latest efforts |
| 00:02:21 |
there is such a thing as a free lunch. |
| 00:02:35 |
Currently, Twoflower, the Discworld's |
| 00:02:41 |
it in an attempt to escape Krull. |
| 00:02:43 |
This attempt has been |
| 00:02:47 |
Although this means he may also be |
| 00:02:52 |
he is enjoying the view. |
| 00:02:56 |
Meanwhile, some way above |
| 00:03:01 |
isn't enjoying the view at all. |
| 00:03:05 |
Only Great A'Tuin, the |
| 00:03:08 |
why it's heading towards the star. |
| 00:03:11 |
Those on the Disc are due |
| 00:03:14 |
two days and then they're |
| 00:03:20 |
The Octavo, the greatest spell |
| 00:03:24 |
about all this, that it must |
| 00:03:56 |
Oh, great, the ground |
| 00:04:13 |
The Colour of Magic, Episode Two |
| 00:04:30 |
Did I just leave the world, |
| 00:04:35 |
Yes, you did. |
| 00:04:40 |
Why? Why, why?! |
| 00:04:47 |
Is it me or is that getting bigger? |
| 00:05:05 |
Is the turtle flying |
| 00:05:08 |
I ask you?! |
| 00:05:10 |
Well, wizards say we |
| 00:05:14 |
But has anyone seen one |
| 00:05:19 |
No! Where are the wizards |
| 00:05:22 |
Wizards out! |
| 00:05:34 |
Wizards out! |
| 00:05:47 |
One small step for a |
| 00:05:53 |
One giant leap for |
| 00:05:59 |
Would the student body |
| 00:06:04 |
the 305th Arch Chancellor? |
| 00:06:13 |
Let it be known that although |
| 00:06:17 |
alterations have been made, |
| 00:06:19 |
one or two other significant |
| 00:06:24 |
For the tidier. |
| 00:06:27 |
As none of us have |
| 00:06:29 |
the events of this morning... |
| 00:06:34 |
and, there seems to be a |
| 00:06:39 |
anxiety amongst the |
| 00:06:51 |
I propose that we perform |
| 00:07:04 |
After its own space |
| 00:07:08 |
Ankh-Morpork, in the Vortex Plains, |
| 00:07:11 |
the Luggage has plans of its own. |
| 00:07:14 |
I said, our guest, whose name is legend, |
| 00:07:21 |
what is it that a man may call the |
| 00:07:28 |
The crisp horizon. |
| 00:07:33 |
A fresh horse underneath you. |
| 00:07:39 |
The humiliation of his tribe and the |
| 00:07:56 |
What you say? |
| 00:07:58 |
They said, our guest, |
| 00:08:02 |
must tell us truly. Oh, pish. |
| 00:08:12 |
Hot water. |
| 00:08:15 |
Good... dentistry. |
| 00:08:19 |
And soft... |
| 00:09:08 |
Hadesire desurps decorum |
| 00:09:14 |
Rise up, oh, creature |
| 00:09:22 |
We do charge thee to abjure from |
| 00:09:30 |
It is said that you can see both the |
| 00:09:35 |
Correct. |
| 00:09:37 |
Then, perhaps you can tell us why is the |
| 00:09:44 |
Because the turtle is flying towards it. |
| 00:09:48 |
For a purpose that has |
| 00:09:53 |
Then... perhaps you can tell us what |
| 00:09:58 |
I understand that the Octavo was anxious |
| 00:10:04 |
Hold on. |
| 00:10:05 |
It was dropping off |
| 00:10:09 |
Hold on. Are we talking |
| 00:10:13 |
that is inside the head of Rincewind? |
| 00:10:16 |
That he's been carrying |
| 00:10:20 |
Any idea why? |
| 00:10:22 |
All I know is that all |
| 00:10:26 |
be said together at Solstice |
| 00:10:28 |
or many worlds will be destroyed. |
| 00:10:33 |
It's an ancient prophecy, |
| 00:10:37 |
walls of the Great Pyramid of Tsort. |
| 00:10:40 |
Can you tell us where Rincewind is now? |
| 00:10:47 |
Rimwards of the Ramtop Mountains. |
| 00:10:54 |
Hello? Anybody out there? |
| 00:11:00 |
Twoflower? |
| 00:11:08 |
Now, may I go? |
| 00:11:16 |
I think it might go |
| 00:11:20 |
Why? |
| 00:11:20 |
That's when they'll be |
| 00:11:47 |
Hmm. |
| 00:11:49 |
I'm looking for anything we've got on |
| 00:11:55 |
Ooook. |
| 00:11:59 |
Yes. |
| 00:12:22 |
Oook. |
| 00:12:29 |
Ah. |
| 00:12:44 |
Whoever says all the spells together, |
| 00:12:54 |
Oook! Oook! |
| 00:13:02 |
will gain... ultimate... power... |
| 00:13:09 |
..to save the world. |
| 00:13:15 |
Now, listen, if you |
| 00:13:19 |
to any members of the faculty, |
| 00:13:24 |
Ook. |
| 00:13:34 |
As much as it pains me to say this, |
| 00:13:41 |
At least,... not until |
| 00:13:47 |
And empty his head. |
| 00:14:06 |
Rincewind! |
| 00:14:09 |
Go away. Go away. |
| 00:14:12 |
Rincewind! |
| 00:14:16 |
Rincewind! |
| 00:14:18 |
He's dead! And he's inside my head. |
| 00:14:23 |
Why me? |
| 00:14:27 |
Twoflower? |
| 00:14:31 |
Isn't an amazing thing that we ended up |
| 00:14:36 |
I must have done something really bad to |
| 00:14:43 |
The turtle must have caught us somehow. |
| 00:14:47 |
Why would it do that? |
| 00:14:54 |
Anyway, where are we? |
| 00:15:05 |
Alive or dead? |
| 00:15:08 |
Well, since we need |
| 00:15:10 |
in order to save the worlds, |
| 00:15:12 |
I suspect alive might be better. |
| 00:15:18 |
I don't know. |
| 00:15:20 |
But as long as one of the |
| 00:15:23 |
I shall consider it a most |
| 00:16:02 |
It's extraordinary. |
| 00:16:03 |
It looks like they're |
| 00:16:06 |
Ancient and traditional |
| 00:16:09 |
back thousands of years to |
| 00:16:12 |
All that Golden Bough and |
| 00:16:16 |
just boils down to sex and violence. |
| 00:16:20 |
Usually both at the same time. |
| 00:16:25 |
I think we ought to be going. |
| 00:16:29 |
Come on, let's go! |
| 00:16:39 |
If only I had my picture box. |
| 00:16:54 |
Oh, there you are. |
| 00:16:57 |
It's very loyal. |
| 00:16:59 |
Yes, if loyalty is what |
| 00:17:03 |
Come on, look, we ought to leave. |
| 00:17:08 |
I don't think so. |
| 00:17:11 |
Look, you're not going to like |
| 00:17:15 |
I want to stay. Ceremonies like this |
| 00:17:19 |
If you must know, they're |
| 00:17:25 |
What, kill her? |
| 00:17:26 |
Well, it wouldn't be much of a |
| 00:17:30 |
Couldn't they just use |
| 00:17:33 |
You know... Sort of symbolic? |
| 00:17:35 |
No self respecting high priest |
| 00:17:39 |
business and trumpets and processions |
| 00:17:41 |
and then shove his knives in a daffodil |
| 00:17:45 |
Get out of it. Come on. |
| 00:17:48 |
No. Really. Honestly, please. |
| 00:17:51 |
Um, I say there. |
| 00:17:53 |
may I have a word there, sir? |
| 00:17:55 |
I'm sorry to intrude, I |
| 00:17:58 |
I was just there and I saw |
| 00:18:01 |
and appraising? uprising? out here... |
| 00:18:04 |
... what the purpose... |
| 00:18:05 |
I just wondered if you would |
| 00:18:07 |
the idea of sacrificing... |
| 00:18:09 |
Tell me what that other idiot holds |
| 00:18:15 |
I can't bring her back, you see, |
| 00:18:20 |
His name is TwoFlower and is |
| 00:18:24 |
Good. Look like it. |
| 00:18:28 |
is the box full of |
| 00:18:39 |
- The Star! The Star! |
| 00:18:44 |
- Have you ever done this |
| 00:18:48 |
What sort of thing? |
| 00:18:49 |
Rushed into a temple, killed the priest, |
| 00:18:57 |
- Not with too many words, no. |
| 00:19:11 |
Let's go. |
| 00:19:16 |
- It's alright. |
| 00:19:21 |
Why do people always going spoil things? |
| 00:19:28 |
You've just been saved |
| 00:19:32 |
It's not easy around here, you know. |
| 00:19:36 |
I mean... staying, |
| 00:19:37 |
I mean, not letting myself... |
| 00:19:44 |
I could have been up there |
| 00:19:47 |
drinking mead out of a silver bowl. |
| 00:19:49 |
Eight years of staying |
| 00:19:51 |
just straight down the drain! |
| 00:20:16 |
Where am I now? |
| 00:20:19 |
You're dreaming. |
| 00:20:22 |
Can I wake up, please? |
| 00:20:25 |
No. You have a very important |
| 00:20:30 |
Rincewind? |
| 00:20:34 |
- There's not even a flesh wound. |
| 00:20:40 |
- What's up with the girl? |
| 00:20:46 |
Doubt that. |
| 00:20:50 |
No! |
| 00:20:56 |
Don't just lie there you |
| 00:21:03 |
Are you sure you can't hear |
| 00:21:09 |
Many years ago we arranged for one |
| 00:21:13 |
Who are "we" exactly? |
| 00:21:16 |
We are the the seven spells and our task |
| 00:21:22 |
to the eighth, Rincewind |
| 00:21:24 |
It is most important that you don't let |
| 00:21:28 |
All eight spells must be said at the... |
| 00:21:31 |
right time or terrible |
| 00:21:34 |
And they must not be said |
| 00:21:38 |
- The wizards... - Precisely. |
| 00:21:44 |
In certain metaphysical respects, yes. |
| 00:21:52 |
Why are you screaming? |
| 00:21:56 |
I'm inside a bloody book, |
| 00:22:00 |
and you ask me why I'm screaming? |
| 00:22:02 |
It is very important you safeguard |
| 00:22:06 |
to us at the University in time |
| 00:22:10 |
the moment is precisely |
| 00:22:13 |
Why should anyone want to say you? |
| 00:22:17 |
It is the star. You see, the turtle |
| 00:22:21 |
No, no, no! Stop, stop, stop, stop. |
| 00:22:24 |
You've totally ruined my life, |
| 00:22:28 |
I could have really |
| 00:22:30 |
if you hadn't used me as |
| 00:22:34 |
I can't remember any other |
| 00:22:37 |
all too frightened to be |
| 00:22:40 |
Look at it like this then, as soon as... |
| 00:22:43 |
the spell is said, you'll be |
| 00:22:52 |
- When's the Solstice? |
| 00:22:57 |
- Two days time, I think. |
| 00:23:02 |
- We've got to go. Right now. |
| 00:23:04 |
Won't the Druids be |
| 00:23:08 |
Probably not. |
| 00:23:11 |
Are you sure? 'cause I'd |
| 00:23:19 |
But Ankh-Morpork is THE place to be |
| 00:23:24 |
- Oh, Rincewind, if we're |
| 00:23:26 |
Oh, to feel the cobbles under your feet |
| 00:23:29 |
- and the old familiar |
| 00:23:32 |
They're at their very |
| 00:23:35 |
- The place that I feel I really... |
| 00:23:39 |
Home to the potatoes they sell |
| 00:23:43 |
at the junction of the Street Of Cunning |
| 00:23:50 |
Yeah, potatoes... Rincewind, |
| 00:23:53 |
but what I really wanna see is |
| 00:23:58 |
- Potatoes, I hear you |
| 00:24:01 |
I want to see the Temple |
| 00:24:06 |
Not the home of the giant |
| 00:24:09 |
from which no-one has |
| 00:24:12 |
That's the one. |
| 00:24:15 |
Oh... Right. |
| 00:24:19 |
Of course, the River |
| 00:24:24 |
- Well, that settles it then. |
| 00:24:26 |
On our way to the Solstice |
| 00:24:29 |
I can hear the potatoes calling. |
| 00:24:37 |
Right. |
| 00:24:41 |
- Shut up. |
| 00:24:46 |
What shall we do? |
| 00:24:49 |
Um. Panic? |
| 00:24:56 |
- That's him! |
| 00:25:00 |
Panic! |
| 00:25:01 |
- Have they come to |
| 00:25:04 |
Quick, in there. |
| 00:25:12 |
Rincewind! |
| 00:25:15 |
They know you. |
| 00:25:18 |
We've got you surrounded! |
| 00:25:21 |
Come back with us to see Arch Chancellor |
| 00:25:28 |
You have his word. |
| 00:25:31 |
It's nice they want you back. |
| 00:25:35 |
Trymon is a nasty piece of work. |
| 00:25:43 |
Now, we can do this the easy way, |
| 00:25:50 |
- What's the easy way? |
| 00:25:51 |
You come out not covered |
| 00:25:57 |
- What is the very easy way? |
| 00:26:04 |
With you in it. |
| 00:26:08 |
How do you think it'll end? |
| 00:26:12 |
If that Star is an omen, it |
| 00:26:16 |
We should name it now then. |
| 00:26:20 |
How about... the Death Star? |
| 00:26:24 |
Oh, don't be daft, what |
| 00:26:27 |
The Death Star?! |
| 00:26:32 |
Who cast a spell? |
| 00:26:37 |
You didn't see that Trymon |
| 00:26:40 |
Trymon, no, why? |
| 00:26:43 |
Well, for a minute there, I |
| 00:27:23 |
A little bit earlier |
| 00:27:28 |
Oh, Twoflower! |
| 00:27:31 |
All wizards must die! |
| 00:27:33 |
If the wizards can't get rid |
| 00:27:36 |
cease all magic and commit |
| 00:27:45 |
If they're going to be like that, |
| 00:27:51 |
All wizards must die! |
| 00:27:53 |
The fact is, the star is getting bigger. |
| 00:27:58 |
And without Rincewind's spell, |
| 00:28:04 |
I looked in the Mirror of Oversight. |
| 00:28:08 |
May I make it clear that |
| 00:28:10 |
and the Mirror and the |
| 00:28:13 |
Any good? |
| 00:28:13 |
- so nobody knows where he is now? |
| 00:28:18 |
In times of crisis, |
| 00:28:20 |
one must be wise. |
| 00:28:24 |
And wise men do what the times demand. |
| 00:28:32 |
Twoflower, Twoflower. |
| 00:28:35 |
We've got to go |
| 00:28:37 |
Alright, if that's |
| 00:29:01 |
Let me rest me back. |
| 00:29:07 |
Wakey-wakey. Come along, lad. |
| 00:29:09 |
There's some liniment stuff in the |
| 00:29:15 |
Who are you? |
| 00:29:21 |
Cohen, is me name. |
| 00:29:25 |
Cohen, the barbarian? |
| 00:29:28 |
- The very same. |
| 00:29:32 |
Cohen is a great big |
| 00:29:36 |
Chest muscles like a |
| 00:29:39 |
He's the Disc's greatest warrior! |
| 00:29:46 |
- My grandfather used to tell me... |
| 00:29:51 |
That's right, boy. |
| 00:29:57 |
You were the greatest. |
| 00:30:01 |
Bards still sing songs about you. |
| 00:30:07 |
That's the saga of my life. |
| 00:30:09 |
80 years in the business and |
| 00:30:14 |
Back ache, piles, bad digestion and |
| 00:30:21 |
Soup, I hate soup! |
| 00:30:26 |
It's me teeth, you see. |
| 00:30:27 |
No-one takes you seriously |
| 00:30:31 |
They say, "Sit by the fire, |
| 00:30:41 |
That's a nasty cough |
| 00:30:44 |
Yes, yes, I know. I'm sorry. |
| 00:30:45 |
It's just that... Come on, wake up! |
| 00:30:49 |
He's gone. |
| 00:30:52 |
What, dead? |
| 00:30:57 |
- I've got to get him |
| 00:31:01 |
Well, he's not exactly dead. |
| 00:31:04 |
- He can't die, the |
| 00:31:08 |
He's just... gone. |
| 00:31:10 |
He's gone? |
| 00:31:14 |
I don't know, but I think I know |
| 00:31:23 |
A necromancer. |
| 00:31:28 |
No, necromance is talking to the dead. |
| 00:31:35 |
Course, I don't believe in tarot cards. |
| 00:31:41 |
old wisdom from the universe, |
| 00:31:47 |
The Star. |
| 00:31:55 |
It has nothing to do with me. |
| 00:32:03 |
Four of elephants. |
| 00:32:06 |
The ace of turtles. |
| 00:32:11 |
Death. |
| 00:32:16 |
Is he really dead? |
| 00:32:38 |
She said it's a sort of medicine. |
| 00:32:40 |
So if you want to see your |
| 00:32:45 |
I should drink it if I were you. |
| 00:32:49 |
Well, if you're sure it's OK. |
| 00:32:52 |
Can't make the beer |
| 00:33:03 |
Well, he did take a spell for me, so... |
| 00:33:16 |
Well, actually, it |
| 00:33:23 |
Oh, where am I going? |
| 00:33:29 |
Don't look back. |
| 00:34:09 |
Twoflower? |
| 00:34:34 |
Twoflower. There you are. |
| 00:34:40 |
What an amazing clock. |
| 00:34:46 |
We're... sort of... |
| 00:34:53 |
Come along. Look, we haven't got |
| 00:34:57 |
It won't take very long. |
| 00:34:59 |
Poor light! Three bloody |
| 00:35:04 |
Do your best. |
| 00:35:07 |
Look, what do you wanna |
| 00:35:10 |
Can't you just... remember it? |
| 00:35:12 |
Well, in years to come, when |
| 00:35:15 |
You'll be sitting by the fire |
| 00:35:21 |
This way. Come on. |
| 00:35:25 |
Oh, I do hope you're not going. |
| 00:35:34 |
We... We really mustn't keep you. |
| 00:35:40 |
Oh, but... I've never been |
| 00:35:47 |
Right, now, run! |
| 00:35:55 |
Don't look back! Don't look back! |
| 00:35:59 |
There are worse things |
| 00:36:03 |
Name two. |
| 00:36:10 |
That always annoys me. |
| 00:36:12 |
I might as well as |
| 00:36:18 |
If I've got time. |
| 00:36:23 |
Rincewind? Hello. |
| 00:36:28 |
Did I move at all? |
| 00:36:29 |
You just looked at the fire, |
| 00:36:36 |
Oh, you're alive. |
| 00:36:42 |
But no thanks to yourself, |
| 00:36:45 |
berries while you stick |
| 00:36:51 |
No hugging! I do not hug. |
| 00:36:55 |
My head. |
| 00:36:57 |
You've been... hallucinating. |
| 00:37:01 |
Hmm. Well, if I've been hallucinating, |
| 00:37:06 |
Ah! No. No, no, no. |
| 00:37:10 |
The Horse people are very superstitious. |
| 00:37:13 |
I'll put this in the Luggage for you. |
| 00:37:22 |
You'd better not be going somewhere next |
| 00:37:26 |
It wasn't like that. It |
| 00:37:29 |
You see what you see, I paint what I see |
| 00:37:42 |
Um, what happened to old Galder's chair, |
| 00:37:45 |
the one with lion arms |
| 00:37:47 |
- Oh, that. I had it burnt. |
| 00:37:50 |
But it was a priceless magical artefact. |
| 00:37:54 |
A genuine piece of... |
| 00:38:02 |
Now, may I draw your |
| 00:38:07 |
What does a... genda do? |
| 00:38:11 |
It's simply a list of things |
| 00:38:16 |
Top of which... is the |
| 00:38:18 |
And the Star. People |
| 00:38:21 |
That is item number two on the agenda. |
| 00:38:24 |
Item number one is the fact that |
| 00:38:29 |
So what are you suggesting |
| 00:38:32 |
I'm not suggesting anything. |
| 00:38:34 |
- I've sent someone to find him. |
| 00:38:38 |
- A hero. |
| 00:38:42 |
I need no other. |
| 00:38:45 |
You've hired a blood-thirsty idiot who |
| 00:38:53 |
The hero, even at this moment, |
| 00:38:58 |
doesn't get involved in |
| 00:39:01 |
Not just because they |
| 00:39:04 |
but because this particular hero is, |
| 00:39:18 |
The Horse People have decided... |
| 00:39:25 |
- Cohen? The Barbarian? |
| 00:39:29 |
But, back in Ankh-Morpork you said... |
| 00:39:31 |
The Horse People have |
| 00:39:36 |
and directions to the River Snarl, |
| 00:39:39 |
where you can catch a ferry |
| 00:39:43 |
You lied? |
| 00:39:46 |
I'd like to thank you |
| 00:39:49 |
you've been most helpful |
| 00:39:53 |
different without you. |
| 00:39:58 |
Oh, no, we'll be fine. |
| 00:40:03 |
These... are... dangerous times. |
| 00:40:09 |
I'm beginning to cope very well |
| 00:40:13 |
I just can't believe it's |
| 00:40:20 |
Is he, perhaps, being sarcastic? |
| 00:40:29 |
He's got eyes, hasn't he? |
| 00:40:31 |
Yes, but, um, he doesn't see |
| 00:40:37 |
Take this yert, for example. |
| 00:40:40 |
It's... Well, it's dark and greasy |
| 00:40:46 |
Yes. |
| 00:40:49 |
Hmm. Yes, but he would say that it |
| 00:40:56 |
plundered by green-eyed warriors |
| 00:40:59 |
You know, so on and so on. |
| 00:41:01 |
Well, the snake warriors are the... |
| 00:41:06 |
I could tell him to shut up. |
| 00:41:10 |
No, I... |
| 00:41:14 |
They can see for 50 years. |
| 00:41:21 |
I shall accompany you... |
| 00:41:24 |
for the reason that if |
| 00:41:27 |
to you, the legend would be besmirched. |
| 00:41:31 |
But also on the count of me chilblains. |
| 00:41:38 |
In case Cohen needs anything... |
| 00:41:51 |
It seems brighter now. |
| 00:41:57 |
Why does everyone look at me? |
| 00:42:01 |
It's probably a comet or something. |
| 00:42:05 |
Will it be burned up? |
| 00:42:07 |
Well, how the hell would I know? |
| 00:42:09 |
I've never been hit by |
| 00:42:11 |
Walk on. |
| 00:42:19 |
Have you combed your beard? |
| 00:42:23 |
I think she's taken a |
| 00:42:28 |
- If I was 20 years younger. |
| 00:42:33 |
I'd be 67. |
| 00:42:37 |
Me, riding with Cohen the Barbarian. |
| 00:42:42 |
Who could possibly attack us now? |
| 00:43:23 |
It is indeed a hundred miles rimwards to |
| 00:43:29 |
and down to the gloomy pine forest, that |
| 00:43:34 |
to the Trollbone Mountains. |
| 00:43:39 |
Did we really have to stop? The |
| 00:43:45 |
The ferryman doesn't work at night, |
| 00:43:49 |
Besides, my feet are killing me. |
| 00:43:51 |
You'd have quite nice feet if |
| 00:43:54 |
You don't get to meet many |
| 00:43:59 |
I've met any amount of |
| 00:44:03 |
gods, war lords. Never any chiropodists. |
| 00:44:07 |
I suppose it wouldn't |
| 00:44:10 |
Cohen against the chiropodists. |
| 00:44:13 |
Or Cohen and the Chiropractors of Doom? |
| 00:44:21 |
What's funny about that? |
| 00:44:26 |
Nothing in particular. |
| 00:44:31 |
It's hard being a hero |
| 00:44:35 |
Don't matter what else you lose. |
| 00:44:39 |
But show them a mouthful of gums |
| 00:44:43 |
- I do. |
| 00:44:44 |
Why don't you have a new |
| 00:44:48 |
Well, I do have trouble masticating. |
| 00:44:52 |
I beg your pardon. |
| 00:44:54 |
- You know, chewing. |
| 00:44:58 |
They're called den-chures(dentures). |
| 00:45:03 |
Dentures! Lots of people |
| 00:45:08 |
What? And they don't |
| 00:45:12 |
No! |
| 00:45:13 |
That has to rank as the |
| 00:45:16 |
easy ambush in swordswoman history. |
| 00:45:18 |
- I've no idea why you're so important. |
| 00:45:23 |
The wizards. The wizards. |
| 00:45:26 |
For some reason, they |
| 00:45:29 |
It's a short ride hubwards to |
| 00:45:32 |
From there, we'll be at |
| 00:45:35 |
Excuse me. |
| 00:45:37 |
Yes? |
| 00:45:38 |
Do you think we could drop by the |
| 00:45:43 |
Only if you want to ride a thousand |
| 00:45:49 |
You mean you can't reach the Temple |
| 00:45:53 |
No, of course not. |
| 00:45:59 |
Oh. Well, at least we'll |
| 00:46:01 |
for the special Solstice |
| 00:46:05 |
What special Solstice celebrations? |
| 00:46:09 |
So my... guide wasn't going to take |
| 00:46:14 |
No. It was too dangerous. |
| 00:46:21 |
Do you want half your money back? |
| 00:46:27 |
Look, it's not about money. |
| 00:46:31 |
We shook on it. |
| 00:46:32 |
Look, if you must know the truth, I |
| 00:46:37 |
the Patrician of |
| 00:46:40 |
unspeakable things to |
| 00:46:43 |
So there you have it. |
| 00:46:47 |
Thank you for being honest. |
| 00:46:55 |
They don't even celebrate |
| 00:47:00 |
No. And I'm probably the worst |
| 00:47:04 |
And I thought everything |
| 00:47:07 |
Well, you thought wrong. |
| 00:47:23 |
You're in great danger, you've |
| 00:47:28 |
No, you're in great |
| 00:47:31 |
Don't try to distract me. |
| 00:47:32 |
No, it's... You've obviously never |
| 00:47:37 |
I knew it was around here somewhere. |
| 00:47:43 |
he gets bigger and bigger. |
| 00:47:50 |
Everyone knows trolls |
| 00:47:54 |
But this specific troll... can't. |
| 00:47:57 |
Can't? Can't? No, because you've |
| 00:48:28 |
Come on, you two. |
| 00:48:32 |
- Cohen! |
| 00:49:22 |
Come on, run! |
| 00:49:37 |
I think we're going home in an envelope. |
| 00:50:03 |
If complete and utter chaos was likely, |
| 00:50:10 |
on a hill top in a thunder storm |
| 00:50:14 |
and shouting, "All gods are idiots." |
| 00:50:19 |
Thank you. |
| 00:50:23 |
Come on, let's stand up. |
| 00:50:32 |
Well,... I'm off to see Bel-Shamharoth. |
| 00:50:34 |
Good luck and I hope the spider |
| 00:50:39 |
I'm going home to Ankh-Morpork. |
| 00:51:01 |
Happy now? |
| 00:51:05 |
We're going to Ankh-Morpork. |
| 00:51:25 |
Is it just me, or does that look |
| 00:51:33 |
Destroy those wizards! |
| 00:51:51 |
The trouble is, the Arch Chancellor |
| 00:51:55 |
There is, of course, the tradition |
| 00:52:00 |
You mean create a vacancy in the Arch |
| 00:52:06 |
Very well. We need a volunteer. |
| 00:52:14 |
Any... one? |
| 00:52:18 |
Everyone then. |
| 00:52:22 |
Ooook. |
| 00:54:19 |
You're not the usual ferryman. |
| 00:54:23 |
The usual man is a big fellow. |
| 00:54:28 |
OK. |
| 00:54:38 |
Two of you, grab him. |
| 00:54:43 |
You, shut up. |
| 00:54:53 |
Kill them both. |
| 00:55:16 |
Time to get going. Come on! |
| 00:55:27 |
Pulled my back. |
| 00:55:40 |
I don't know who you are or |
| 00:55:43 |
there's nothing personal |
| 00:55:57 |
Are you OK? |
| 00:56:04 |
My father used to recommend |
| 00:56:15 |
We really ought to be going. |
| 00:56:18 |
I don't suppose you'd be |
| 00:56:24 |
Oh, no, I couldn't possibly do that. |
| 00:56:26 |
I was looking for a present |
| 00:56:29 |
We're getting married. |
| 00:56:30 |
That's great. We thought you |
| 00:56:36 |
This is cause for celebration. |
| 00:56:40 |
biscuits and water in my luggage. |
| 00:56:48 |
You serious about getting married? |
| 00:56:54 |
Oh, no. No, no, no. |
| 00:56:55 |
No, I was just thinking, |
| 00:57:00 |
in her twenties and you... |
| 00:57:06 |
Time I settled down, you mean? |
| 00:57:12 |
physically, the age difference. |
| 00:57:18 |
Oh, I see what you mean. |
| 00:57:22 |
The strain. |
| 00:57:26 |
I hope I haven't upset anything. |
| 00:57:32 |
You were right to point it out. |
| 00:57:35 |
You know, sometimes, you |
| 00:57:40 |
Now, don't be offended, |
| 00:57:42 |
but I think we'll go ahead |
| 00:57:46 |
and, er, well,... just have |
| 00:57:51 |
Will we get to Ankh-Morpork by dawn? |
| 00:58:00 |
Right, who wants how to learn how |
| 00:58:41 |
The reason that I have |
| 00:58:44 |
..is to announce that |
| 00:58:48 |
With an agenda. |
| 00:58:54 |
An agendum. |
| 00:58:58 |
I'm sorry? |
| 00:59:00 |
We're assuming that this |
| 00:59:03 |
the news that your hero has |
| 00:59:06 |
I don't recall you |
| 00:59:17 |
There will be a meeting... |
| 00:59:24 |
With only seven spells? |
| 00:59:29 |
Arch Chancellor? |
| 00:59:32 |
We have gone beyond... Wisdom. |
| 00:59:42 |
Ankh-Morpork. |
| 00:59:47 |
There's no city in the multiverse that |
| 00:59:56 |
Look! Come on. |
| 01:00:03 |
Wizard, why have you let us down? |
| 01:00:08 |
What's he doing? |
| 01:00:12 |
This is what I've been looking for. |
| 01:00:16 |
What, the jewellers? |
| 01:00:22 |
You... wait here, Beth. |
| 01:00:32 |
Excuse me. Why is everyone leaving? |
| 01:00:36 |
We're all gonna burn up and die. |
| 01:00:43 |
The Star is life, not death. |
| 01:00:47 |
What what? Your voice, it |
| 01:00:50 |
It didn't sound like you. It's the |
| 01:00:54 |
It knows what's going to happen. |
| 01:00:59 |
They think it'll ward |
| 01:01:02 |
No, that's not gonna work. |
| 01:01:04 |
I think I know what will. Come on. |
| 01:01:08 |
The strangest thing I've ever made. |
| 01:01:13 |
What did you say they were called again? |
| 01:01:18 |
Dentures. Made from troll's teeth. |
| 01:01:25 |
This is Bethan, my betrothed (fiancee). |
| 01:01:28 |
Is there anywhere round here |
| 01:01:33 |
And a steak. |
| 01:01:43 |
What are... What are you doing? |
| 01:01:53 |
That's the Necrotelecomnicon. |
| 01:01:58 |
Wizards use it to contact the dead. |
| 01:02:05 |
Oh, I just, you know, just guessed. |
| 01:02:11 |
He looks like a wizard. |
| 01:02:28 |
Gentlemen,... |
| 01:02:30 |
the Light Fantastic! |
| 01:02:35 |
We're safe, so long as |
| 01:02:42 |
Let's see. |
| 01:02:49 |
To appease it, the thing |
| 01:02:54 |
..be silenced and |
| 01:03:12 |
Oh, what am I talking |
| 01:03:17 |
What? When I look at you, |
| 01:03:22 |
You're a wizard. Act like it. |
| 01:03:26 |
Alright, stand back or I'll |
| 01:03:30 |
All the magic's gone. |
| 01:03:35 |
I mean it. |
| 01:03:37 |
Ashonti perucha |
| 01:03:42 |
...bealzeboar! |
| 01:03:53 |
Right, that's far enough! |
| 01:03:58 |
What about... What Where is the Luggage? |
| 01:04:00 |
Where's your luggage? Well, I often |
| 01:04:02 |
that's what being a |
| 01:04:08 |
Right. I have a wizard and |
| 01:04:52 |
To the Great Hall, gentlemen. |
| 01:05:01 |
He has locked it! |
| 01:05:31 |
The Star has spots on it. |
| 01:05:33 |
No, they're not spots, they're... |
| 01:05:37 |
Things that go round |
| 01:05:40 |
Like the sun goes round the Disc. |
| 01:05:42 |
They're closer because... because... |
| 01:05:47 |
Come on. |
| 01:05:49 |
False wizards must die! |
| 01:05:57 |
False wizards must die! |
| 01:06:03 |
False wizards must die! |
| 01:06:21 |
The lower cellars are this way. |
| 01:06:36 |
Anything that wheezes like that |
| 01:06:40 |
Don't look back. |
| 01:06:41 |
Is anyone out there?! |
| 01:06:48 |
Hello? |
| 01:06:53 |
Aargh! It's Rincewind. |
| 01:06:58 |
Yes, that's right, it's Rincewind. |
| 01:07:04 |
Did you bring the spell? |
| 01:07:08 |
The masters of wizardry. |
| 01:07:14 |
We got locked in. |
| 01:07:18 |
The Octavo, in fact, is... not here. |
| 01:07:24 |
Now, look, this is going |
| 01:07:27 |
so be a good fellow, run along |
| 01:07:31 |
Run along and find a wizard?! |
| 01:07:36 |
Alright, stand back. |
| 01:07:41 |
What for? |
| 01:07:42 |
Oh, he means it. You see that |
| 01:07:46 |
He's serious. |
| 01:08:34 |
Did you see Trymon on the way down here? |
| 01:08:39 |
Because he's stolen the Octavo. |
| 01:08:45 |
Him. I always said he'd go a long way. |
| 01:08:47 |
He'll go a lot further |
| 01:08:50 |
Why? What will happen? |
| 01:08:53 |
Well, one mind can't |
| 01:08:56 |
It'll break down and leave a hole. |
| 01:08:59 |
In his head? |
| 01:09:05 |
He might think he can |
| 01:09:08 |
But he hasn't got the |
| 01:09:11 |
So... |
| 01:09:19 |
Come on! |
| 01:09:36 |
He's done it. |
| 01:09:40 |
Are those things demons? |
| 01:09:42 |
Demons would be a picnic compared with |
| 01:09:46 |
What do you propose to do about it? |
| 01:09:52 |
You can't put the spells |
| 01:09:55 |
You can't unsay what has been said. |
| 01:09:58 |
You can try. |
| 01:10:11 |
Nooooo! |
| 01:10:19 |
Get out of my way! |
| 01:10:31 |
Wait! Hold it, hold it. |
| 01:10:37 |
- There's unimaginable horrors up there. |
| 01:10:39 |
I've always wanted to do |
| 01:10:42 |
- this is an adventure, isn't it? |
| 01:10:53 |
It's stopped. |
| 01:11:13 |
They're blank. They're |
| 01:11:17 |
Then he did it, he's read the spells. |
| 01:11:19 |
Successfully too. |
| 01:11:24 |
Congratulate him? |
| 01:11:25 |
When you're advanced in the craft, |
| 01:11:30 |
the important thing is success. |
| 01:11:33 |
That's no way to treat a book. |
| 01:11:37 |
Give me that. A lad, am I? |
| 01:11:41 |
in the craft, I've only been |
| 01:11:44 |
with one of the greatest |
| 01:11:47 |
And didn't go totally insane, did I? |
| 01:11:49 |
No, you didn't. |
| 01:11:54 |
Where are the other wizards? |
| 01:11:58 |
Rincewind. Join us, won't you? |
| 01:12:16 |
The eighth spell. |
| 01:12:27 |
Give... me... the spell! |
| 01:12:35 |
No. You'll have to try and take it. |
| 01:12:43 |
But I only have to kill you... |
| 01:12:47 |
... and it is mine. |
| 01:13:16 |
These statues look like wizards! |
| 01:13:24 |
They were! |
| 01:13:30 |
There are worse things. |
| 01:13:35 |
Hey! I have the power... |
| 01:13:49 |
Ah! Pathetic! |
| 01:14:02 |
Hey... Hello? |
| 01:14:07 |
Rincewind, where's the sword? |
| 01:14:28 |
I have to warn you... |
| 01:14:32 |
Then, join your fellow wizards, |
| 01:14:37 |
I have no need of you now. |
| 01:14:41 |
Oh, there it is. |
| 01:14:43 |
Come! The little spell... |
| 01:14:46 |
Unto me! |
| 01:14:51 |
No! Run! |
| 01:15:30 |
I suppose they're the spells. |
| 01:15:34 |
- Twoflower? |
| 01:15:35 |
Yes? Is that... Is that you, Rincewind? |
| 01:15:40 |
Yes. And I want you to do something |
| 01:15:47 |
Yes. I'm... I'm ready. |
| 01:15:53 |
I want you to come over here... |
| 01:15:56 |
and help me up, before my |
| 01:16:06 |
I'm glad you're alive. |
| 01:16:10 |
Yes. Could you... Could |
| 01:16:13 |
That might be a little difficult. |
| 01:16:15 |
Why? What are you holding onto? |
| 01:16:19 |
Besides me! |
| 01:16:24 |
Oh... Oh, bugger. I don't know why |
| 01:16:30 |
I've spent a lot of my time hanging on |
| 01:16:35 |
Have you noticed that? |
| 01:16:39 |
Oh! Oh, it's you! |
| 01:16:45 |
No! No! |
| 01:16:56 |
I think I just had another |
| 01:17:04 |
A little bit earlier |
| 01:17:26 |
Funny place to put statues. |
| 01:17:32 |
Mind you, can't say they're up to much. |
| 01:17:50 |
This... This is where we say goodbye. |
| 01:17:58 |
Out! |
| 01:18:25 |
What's he doing now? |
| 01:18:40 |
Isn't all this magic exciting? |
| 01:18:45 |
He ain't even produced doves or |
| 01:19:03 |
Is that it? |
| 01:19:54 |
New worlds! |
| 01:20:29 |
Must get a picture of this. |
| 01:20:32 |
I might forget. |
| 01:20:36 |
How could you ever forget? |
| 01:20:40 |
It's the most beautiful thing |
| 01:20:49 |
Got it! |
| 01:20:53 |
He just appreciates |
| 01:20:59 |
I mean, if a poet sees a daffodil... |
| 01:21:05 |
... he stares at it, and |
| 01:21:09 |
But Twoflower would |
| 01:21:12 |
a book on botany, and |
| 01:21:16 |
he would tread on the daffodil. |
| 01:21:39 |
The Star! |
| 01:22:19 |
It's like a sea of gold! |
| 01:22:27 |
'That is a nice dramatic ending.' |
| 01:22:32 |
and there are other things |
| 01:22:35 |
'There is the Octavo, for example, |
| 01:22:38 |
and many of the observers |
| 01:22:41 |
towards them, is the single most |
| 01:22:48 |
OK? Right. Come on. |
| 01:22:53 |
'Later, Twoflower did ask the Luggage |
| 01:22:58 |
'But its expression could |
| 01:23:02 |
What are they doing now? |
| 01:23:04 |
They're trying to open the Luggage. |
| 01:23:16 |
It's a nice day. |
| 01:23:22 |
Rincewind, I've decided - |
| 01:23:26 |
I think I could make a good go of... |
| 01:23:29 |
this magic thing, and |
| 01:23:32 |
Because they do say that if it's summa |
| 01:23:39 |
That's good, because - And, of |
| 01:23:43 |
room up top, now that the big |
| 01:23:47 |
Will they be able to turn back? |
| 01:23:52 |
Probably not. |
| 01:23:55 |
Will they be able to do |
| 01:23:59 |
Yes! He'll make a very nice rockery. |
| 01:24:02 |
Go on! You go and sort this all out. |
| 01:24:07 |
- I think I could do very |
| 01:24:10 |
The thing is, I'm going home. |
| 01:24:12 |
And a sharp lad, who's |
| 01:24:15 |
of the world, could quite easily... |
| 01:24:18 |
- Sorry. What did you say? |
| 01:24:22 |
- What home? |
| 01:24:23 |
Home, home. Back across |
| 01:24:30 |
It occurred to me last night, all this |
| 01:24:35 |
but there's a lot of fun |
| 01:24:40 |
You know, putting your pictures |
| 01:24:47 |
And the important thing about |
| 01:24:50 |
to remember is that you |
| 01:24:53 |
to go afterwards where |
| 01:24:55 |
You haven't really been anywhere |
| 01:25:04 |
Oh, good. |
| 01:25:11 |
when are you going? |
| 01:25:13 |
Today, I think. There's bound to |
| 01:25:18 |
Yes, I... I expect so. |
| 01:25:29 |
That settles it then. |
| 01:25:30 |
He'll drop me at the Brown |
| 01:25:33 |
get a ship from there. |
| 01:25:36 |
Oh, well. Great. |
| 01:25:39 |
You found a priest, then. |
| 01:25:43 |
And Cohen didn't even try to |
| 01:25:47 |
It's a great dress. |
| 01:26:00 |
Look, this is for you two. |
| 01:26:05 |
Oh! I know it can be expensive, |
| 01:26:09 |
Or a small kingdom, even. |
| 01:26:20 |
I've also thought about |
| 01:26:24 |
Oh! Really, no. You don't have to, er... |
| 01:26:30 |
It's all yours. I |
| 01:26:33 |
and it won't really fit on my wardrobe. |
| 01:26:35 |
What? |
| 01:26:39 |
The Luggage! Don't you want it? |
| 01:26:46 |
Yes. But it's yours! |
| 01:26:55 |
Luggage? |
| 01:26:58 |
You're his now, right? |
| 01:27:05 |
It doesn't really belong to |
| 01:27:17 |
Well... I guess this is it. |
| 01:27:21 |
Yes. |
| 01:27:23 |
Goodbye, Rincewind. When I get... |
| 01:27:25 |
home I'll send you a |
| 01:27:32 |
Oh, come here. |
| 01:27:40 |
And, er, any time you're passing, |
| 01:27:44 |
someone here is bound |
| 01:27:58 |
... I guess that's about it, then. |
| 01:28:06 |
Right. |
| 01:28:14 |
Right. |
| 01:29:09 |
No, no, no! Don't want you. |
| 01:29:14 |
You understand? |
| 01:29:20 |
I said I don't want you! Go! |
| 01:29:46 |
Alright! Come on. |
| 01:31:18 |
So... does that mean the |
| 01:31:23 |
Well, in my opinion, it's all |
| 01:31:32 |
IMS Subtitles accessibility@bskyb. com |
| 01:31:35 |
Swedish text: Group Greenock |
| 01:31:39 |
English auto translation and |
