Find Movie

40 Year Old Virgin The en
00:00:26	##[A Life Of Illusion playing]
00:00:43	[Alarm buzzing]
00:01:07	[Grunts]
00:01:19	[Grunting]
00:01:56	Hey, Andy!
00:01:59	Hey, Joe. Hey, Sara.
00:02:01	When you going to
00:02:02	Hey, why don't you
00:02:06	[Laughing]
00:02:07	So, Survivor tomorrow night.
00:02:11	I'll bring a soda.
00:02:13	Okay, take care.
00:02:16	That guy needs to get laid.
00:02:19	[Chuckles]
00:02:36	Good morning.
00:02:42	Excuse me. Pardon me.
00:02:46	Sorry.
00:02:48	[Car horn blaring]
00:02:56	Excuse me.
00:03:01	Good morning.
00:03:03	Good morning, Paula.
00:03:07	Excuse me.
00:03:10	What is the difference between
00:03:15	I'm not a salesman,
00:03:17	Welcome to Smart Tech.
00:03:20	Well, I was just
00:03:22	what is the difference
00:03:25	(Jay)
00:03:28	I'd probably go Digital.
00:03:32	# Hey, don't worry
00:03:43	My God.
00:03:47	Oh, man.
00:03:49	I had a weekend.
00:03:52	We went to Tijuana, Mexico,
00:03:55	and we thought
00:03:58	Everyone's, "You gotta
00:04:00	And, you know,
00:04:03	We get there,
00:04:06	and it is not as cool
00:04:10	It's kind of gross.
00:04:12	You think,
00:04:14	and you get there
00:04:16	a woman fucking a horse.
00:04:18	It was really
00:04:20	And you know what...
00:04:21	to be honest, I felt
00:04:24	Yeah.
00:04:26	Wow, that's something.
00:04:30	You know, I just kind
00:04:34	God, Friday,
00:04:35	I really wanted
00:04:37	And I was just obsessing
00:04:39	"Man, I'm gonna
00:04:41	So Saturday I went out
00:04:45	and I boiled them all
00:04:48	I spent, I don't know,
00:04:53	like, three-and-a-half hours
00:04:54	you know, the mayonnaise
00:04:59	and, you know,
00:05:01	And then, by the time
00:05:02	I just really didn't feel
00:05:04	I can imagine.
00:05:07	So, you know,
00:05:11	Sounds pretty awesome.
00:05:14	Sounds really fun.
00:05:16	Cool.
00:05:18	Cool, cool.
00:05:22	Hey, Paula.
00:05:24	I gotta tell you something.
00:05:26	For the first time today,
00:05:30	I came to the store,
00:05:34	that if you don't take
00:05:37	that you've been playing
00:05:39	I'm going to kill everyone
00:05:41	and put a bullet
00:05:43	David, what do you suggest
00:05:47	I would rather watch
00:05:50	I would rather listen
00:05:53	than have to listen
00:05:54	Nothing against him,
00:05:58	I'm gonna yah mo
00:06:00	You're such a smart ass.
00:06:05	[Garbled]
00:06:07	[Clears throat]
00:06:08	This is a great TV.
00:06:11	What are you doing?
00:06:12	It certainly is not.
00:06:16	No, that's my...
00:06:17	Go to the checkout there.
00:06:19	She was unattended
00:06:21	to get the brochure
00:06:23	I apologize,
00:06:25	The transaction
00:06:26	Then you're gonna give me
00:06:28	You'll receive
00:06:30	I need to talk to Paula.
00:06:31	This is bullshit.
00:06:32	Every time I make a sale,
00:06:34	How about Jesse Jackson?
00:06:38	Sick of you poaching
00:06:39	I'm sick of your
00:06:41	You wanna take this
00:06:44	Let's stay inside,
00:06:47	Because when I remove
00:06:51	I can't return it
00:06:54	Look, listen to me.
00:06:58	Hey! You're fucking with
00:07:01	Dude, I will hang your old ass
00:07:04	Turban now? Do you see
00:07:07	Do I talk like a turban guy?
00:07:09	Do I say, "Hey, Jay,
00:07:12	Fuck you, okay?
00:07:15	Brooklyn, okay?
00:07:16	My accent is a fucking
00:07:20	All right, man.
00:07:21	Look, you still covering
00:07:23	If I can keep this commission,
00:07:26	Cool, then. All right, pop.
00:07:32	How about Andy?
00:07:34	Come on, man.
00:07:36	to play a decent
00:07:37	If we cancel this,
00:07:39	to some stupid-ass
00:07:41	and that shit
00:07:42	No.
00:07:44	He's a really nice guy and all
00:07:48	he is a serial murderer.
00:07:49	Who cares, man?
00:07:51	I just wanna get drunk,
00:07:53	That's great.
00:07:56	in some creepy apartment,
00:07:58	I don't really see
00:08:00	Andy. My man.
00:08:03	You got any plans
00:08:05	Why, do we have to unload
00:08:08	No, the guys
00:08:11	thought, you know,
00:08:13	With you guys?
00:08:16	Yeah, sure.
00:08:19	You know how to play, right?
00:08:22	We're gonna play
00:08:24	Are we allowed
00:08:26	Absolutely not.
00:08:28	Oh.
00:08:29	Well, so I'm gonna
00:08:32	I'm just kidding.
00:08:34	I'm kidding.
00:08:37	Okay.
00:08:38	[Clattering]
00:08:42	I almost feel guilty.
00:08:58	Going down!
00:09:00	Going down!
00:09:02	Dumbass.
00:09:04	And a full house.
00:09:06	Oh, my dukes!
00:09:07	How much fucking online poker
00:09:10	For like an hour or two
00:09:13	Why did you invite this guy?
00:09:16	This is hog shit.
00:09:17	You, you're a fucking asshole
00:09:20	You tell me he was a nice guy,
00:09:21	Well, fuck you people,
00:09:24	fuck and kiss my big brown
00:09:27	(Jay)
00:09:28	Peace.
00:09:29	(Mooj)
00:09:31	[All laughing]
00:09:32	Good night.
00:09:34	Dude, you totally...
00:09:37	About to go see Ellen
00:09:39	Going now?
00:09:40	Dude, you know
00:09:41	Does your girlfriend know
00:09:44	It's like an unspoken
00:09:46	It's like a completely
00:09:49	If you knew her, if you knew
00:09:51	you wouldn't be
00:09:52	There's nothing you can't do
00:09:54	straight up and down.
00:09:56	I could possibly create.
00:09:58	and made love to the arches
00:10:01	Wow!
00:10:02	Foot fuck!
00:10:04	Wow.
00:10:06	I will give you sick.
00:10:08	I was sleeping with a woman
00:10:10	Her tits were unbelievable.
00:10:14	And so we're doing it
00:10:17	and her dog starts
00:10:19	I swear to God, I have
00:10:24	I know your nasty ass.
00:10:26	I finished.
00:10:29	No, I didn't, but...
00:10:31	You know, sometimes,
00:10:34	till it was almost like
00:10:36	but we were two spirits
00:10:39	Our souls were
00:10:42	Time stood still.
00:10:45	Stop, man! Why do you
00:10:49	"Sharing the same heart,"
00:10:51	Britney Spears shit, man.
00:10:53	This is three grown ass men,
00:10:56	Yeah, man, come on,
00:10:58	Thank you, Andy.
00:11:01	You get over it
00:11:03	You need to get past that...
00:11:05	because no ass
00:11:08	I always say.
00:11:10	Andy, do me a favor.
00:11:11	Would you please help him
00:11:15	Yes.
00:11:17	I don't... You know what,
00:11:21	I don't kiss and tell.
00:11:22	Fuck it, I raise you.
00:11:26	I'm talking about nasty.
00:11:29	Wow.
00:11:30	So many stories
00:11:35	I dated this girl...
00:11:37	for a while, and she was
00:11:41	She just loved to get down
00:11:46	She was like, any time of day,
00:11:49	"Yeah, let's go.
00:11:51	And I'd be nailing her.
00:11:53	Oh, shit.
00:11:54	"Oh, you're nailing me. Cool. "
00:11:57	She talk dirty to you?
00:12:01	Totally into it.
00:12:03	"Yeah, let's screw, let's...
00:12:09	God, it was so dirty.
00:12:11	She'd be like, "Me so horny,
00:12:16	So...
00:12:17	(Jay)
00:12:20	Yeah, she had great tits.
00:12:22	No, I mean, like, detailed.
00:12:25	them little pink
00:12:27	(Jay)
00:12:30	You have like
00:12:32	(Andy)
00:12:34	You know, when you, like,
00:12:37	And you feel it and...
00:12:40	it feels like a bag of sand
00:12:45	Bag of sand?
00:12:49	You know what I mean.
00:12:51	Why don't you just
00:12:53	What are you
00:12:55	Have you ever felt
00:12:57	Yes.
00:12:58	Dude, are you gay?
00:13:00	I've been with
00:13:02	I touched a guy's balls
00:13:04	Dude, it's not a big deal.
00:13:06	I'm cool. I got friends
00:13:09	No, I'm not gay.
00:13:10	No, I've borked a lot of women
00:13:13	You've "borked"?
00:13:15	Hold up.
00:13:19	Are you a virgin?
00:13:22	Are you a virgin?
00:13:23	Yeah, not since I was 10.
00:13:25	It all makes sense.
00:13:28	I am... Shut up.
00:13:31	He's a fucking virgin.
00:13:32	I knew it. That makes
00:13:36	You guys are hilarious.
00:13:38	I'm not being mean.
00:13:40	I'm trying to say
00:13:42	I understand
00:13:43	You guys are so up your asses.
00:13:46	From now on,
00:13:50	[Men laughing]
00:14:00	A bag of sand! Come on, man!
00:14:05	God, me so horny?
00:14:09	[Yelling]
00:14:14	Oh, come on.
00:14:16	[Laughing]
00:14:19	It's gonna be fine.
00:14:22	Those guys are cool.
00:14:29	[Alarm buzzing]
00:14:31	This is gonna be bad.
00:14:34	(Andy)
00:14:36	You know what's a dirty word,
00:14:38	and that's what you guys are.
00:14:39	You know,
00:14:45	Yeah.
00:14:51	Come on.
00:14:56	Hey, David.
00:15:01	What's up?
00:15:08	(Haziz)
00:15:10	We're gonna have to get you
00:15:12	[Both guffawing]
00:15:14	Andy, it's going down,
00:15:18	[moaning]
00:15:20	This for you, partner,
00:15:22	Waves of them coming at you
00:15:25	By Sunday,
00:15:28	Hey, Andy, don't let him
00:15:32	Not everybody
00:15:34	What are you? 25?
00:15:38	Holy shit, man.
00:15:41	Life isn't about sex.
00:15:46	Yeah.
00:15:47	And spirit.
00:15:49	It's not about fucking
00:15:52	It's about love.
00:15:56	It's about connection.
00:15:59	It's not about cock
00:16:03	It's not about
00:16:05	It's not about
00:16:08	Please stop.
00:16:11	And your pussy juice cocktail
00:16:16	Mooj, just please stop.
00:16:18	All right.
00:16:20	Let the virgin
00:16:26	Andy!
00:16:28	Andy, come on.
00:16:30	Pointless.
00:16:32	Andy, nobody cares
00:16:34	Don't be such a baby.
00:16:36	They were just having fun.
00:16:38	Get away from me, David.
00:16:40	Stop following me!
00:16:46	Hold on.
00:16:48	You don't have to
00:16:49	You know what, I don't wanna
00:16:51	Fine.
00:16:52	Okay, fine, you don't
00:16:55	You know what,
00:16:58	I respect them so much
00:17:01	Okay.
00:17:04	##[Playing]
00:17:07	And now, I am making
00:17:12	Get some roadburn, come on!
00:17:14	Come on, sucker!
00:17:17	# Now, pretty ladies
00:17:20	# Got a weird thing
00:17:22	[laughing]
00:17:23	Oh, my God!
00:17:29	Hey, Will and Grace,
00:17:32	Hey, Haziz, can you just
00:17:34	We're just kind of
00:17:37	I'm on my break, okay?
00:17:39	Fuck off, Haziz.
00:17:41	Fuck off? Fuck you!
00:17:43	Fuck you! Fuck off.
00:17:45	I'm gonna kick you
00:17:47	Hey, hey!
00:17:50	Watch how you talk to me!
00:17:52	It's a free country, Bambi.
00:17:55	Smoke my pole.
00:17:56	You are a very unkind man.
00:17:58	This is not professional.
00:18:00	Paula,
00:18:02	It's okay.
00:18:04	It's all right. Come on.
00:18:07	So, how could this
00:18:09	It just never happened.
00:18:11	When I was young, I tried,
00:18:15	And then I got older and I got
00:18:19	because it hadn't
00:18:23	weirded out about it.
00:18:26	and then, I don't know,
00:18:30	Do you want to give it
00:18:32	Maybe it's too late.
00:18:35	Sometimes I feel that
00:18:38	No, that's crazy.
00:18:40	You're 40 years old.
00:18:43	You wanna spend
00:18:45	never experiencing sex?
00:18:47	And not just sex, but love...
00:18:49	and a relationship,
00:18:54	I don't know.
00:18:57	I wouldn't know what to do.
00:19:00	You gotta risk it.
00:19:02	I went out with this girl
00:19:04	and it was the greatest...
00:19:06	greatest thing in my life.
00:19:09	Until she went down on this
00:19:14	And, you know,
00:19:15	"Okay, what am I doing
00:19:18	I dumped her. Stupid decision.
00:19:20	I spent the last two years
00:19:23	Why don't you
00:19:25	Because she's dating
00:19:27	Stupid horrible decision.
00:19:29	But, hey, that's her journey,
00:19:32	I gotta give her the space.
00:19:34	She wants to be
00:19:38	that's love, man.
00:19:40	Of course it's horrible.
00:19:42	and it's pain and it's...
00:19:44	and then you
00:19:46	and then you call them
00:19:48	and you try and email
00:19:52	but that's just love.
00:19:54	Do you realize that
00:19:56	we've spoken for more than,
00:19:58	Uh-huh.
00:19:59	It's kind of nice.
00:20:03	No pressure.
00:20:06	Okay, yeah, I will.
00:20:08	Great.
00:20:10	But I'm not going to have sex
00:20:12	Good, sex should be
00:20:16	##[I Got Ants In My Pants
00:20:26	Logjam. Hi.
00:20:34	Shit.
00:20:39	Oh, God.
00:20:44	Sorry.
00:20:47	See you later.
00:20:59	I'm okay. It's all right.
00:21:07	Oh, come on, bus!
00:21:15	Oh, come on, dogs!
00:21:21	Shit! You gotta be kidding me.
00:21:39	I mean, I'm kind of nervous.
00:21:43	Jennifer told me how to do it.
00:21:52	[Screaming]
00:21:54	What are you doing?
00:21:56	Okay, just...
00:21:57	[Grunts]
00:21:58	We have one.
00:22:01	You'll pull my
00:22:04	We did it.
00:22:06	Oh, my God,
00:22:07	What did you do?
00:22:11	You know what else is sexy?
00:22:14	Me...
00:22:15	...sucking...
00:22:18	on your...
00:22:21	toe.
00:22:22	That's what you want to
00:22:24	It's just so big and thick.
00:22:30	Yeah.
00:22:33	[Laughing]
00:22:35	That tickles.
00:22:36	[Screams]
00:22:37	I'm sorry. Oh, no.
00:22:39	Your nose is bleeding.
00:22:41	I'm sorry.
00:22:44	But, now,
00:22:46	You should just
00:22:48	[Exclaiming]
00:22:54	##[Ain't No Mountain
00:22:57	Cal, what do you think?
00:22:59	No.
00:23:00	What's Curious George like
00:23:03	Come on, man.
00:23:04	##[J.O.D.D. playing]
00:23:13	Wow, this is
00:23:16	Yeah. Well,
00:23:20	Okay, look now.
00:23:22	So, this is
00:23:24	You about to go run down
00:23:27	And don't confuse
00:23:29	I want vomit in the hair,
00:23:31	A broken heel is a plus.
00:23:33	That's what you
00:23:35	No, Dave already told me
00:23:37	And now he's gone, so...
00:23:39	Dude, just stop thinking
00:23:41	You ain't got to think
00:23:42	All you got to do
00:23:44	Show me your instincts.
00:23:46	My head, my heart.
00:23:49	Now, I'm gonna show you this
00:23:51	Instincts.
00:23:55	Show me your instincts.
00:23:57	Own your instincts.
00:23:59	All you doing
00:24:02	That's how a tiger know
00:24:05	There's a code
00:24:07	It says,
00:24:09	And believe it or not,
00:24:12	"Tackle drunk bitches. "
00:24:14	You know what,
00:24:19	hitting on drunk "bitches,"
00:24:21	I don't think that's right.
00:24:22	Okay, hold up.
00:24:24	First of all,
00:24:27	I didn't use bitches
00:24:29	It just does...
00:24:31	Of course it don't feel right.
00:24:34	You need to try
00:24:38	Okay, how do I tell
00:24:41	Now you're talking.
00:24:43	You see this redhead
00:24:45	With the big old titties.
00:24:48	Dawg, I'm not telling you
00:24:51	I'm telling you to use
00:24:54	See. Look. See?
00:24:56	I'm not looking at you.
00:24:58	No. I'm looking at...
00:25:02	What do you want me to do?
00:25:06	See? I'm not looking at you.
00:25:09	No. See, I'm looking
00:25:14	You see her, racked up
00:25:17	Yes.
00:25:19	You find one with
00:25:22	You see, over by the post.
00:25:26	It looks like a...
00:25:27	It's either a ficus...
00:25:29	It might be
00:25:31	All right, if you're
00:25:34	I see a blonde
00:25:37	Better, okay. All right.
00:25:39	Now with your peripherals...
00:25:42	...you got to scope out
00:25:44	And then you should
00:25:46	Okay? All right.
00:25:48	And remember, it's
00:25:51	For this first one.
00:25:53	All the way.
00:25:55	All peripherals.
00:26:04	That boy is stubborn.
00:26:08	Hi, I'm Andy.
00:26:12	Can I get you
00:26:14	Too drunk.
00:26:15	But you got the right idea.
00:26:21	Hey!
00:26:22	I'm having trouble
00:26:25	You want to know
00:26:27	I. I, Captain Yellowshirts.
00:26:31	[Growls]
00:26:32	Okay. Have a good one.
00:26:34	Yo!
00:26:35	I met a girl and she's here
00:26:39	and they invited us
00:26:41	Okay, that's good.
00:26:44	because no one is hornier
00:26:46	who's about to watch
00:26:48	It's so funny.
00:26:51	[Women whooping]
00:26:54	So we just decided because
00:26:58	before I marry Dan,
00:27:01	We're wigging out!
00:27:04	You guys are hilarious.
00:27:08	Wait a minute.
00:27:09	Yes, Mr. President.
00:27:13	[All laughing]
00:27:14	Hey, guys, look,
00:27:17	I really mean this.
00:27:20	Hey, everybody,
00:27:23	I do.
00:27:24	(Cal)
00:27:27	[All laughing]
00:27:29	What a good guy. What a...
00:27:31	Dan, the guy
00:27:33	is such a good guy.
00:27:36	He sounds like a good guy.
00:27:38	I hated him for like two years
00:27:41	But...
00:27:45	he's really changed now.
00:27:48	He's a really good guy now.
00:27:51	You have really kind eyes,
00:27:54	Thanks. Your hat
00:28:00	Mmm.
00:28:05	Mmm.
00:28:10	[Both tittering]
00:28:12	Your hands are on my belt.
00:28:14	Your hands are on my belt.
00:28:16	It's good.
00:28:18	You're cute.
00:28:20	This is kind of lame.
00:28:22	Okay, yeah.
00:28:29	Yeah.
00:28:30	Come on.
00:28:37	You wanna drive?
00:28:39	I don't have a car
00:28:41	Cars just suck.
00:28:44	[Grunting]
00:28:45	I'm driving.
00:28:47	Are you drunk?
00:28:49	No, I didn't have anything
00:28:50	Blow into this?
00:28:54	[Beeping]
00:28:57	What is this?
00:29:02	[Engine starting]
00:29:03	##[Get Ur Freak On playing
00:29:08	Whoa, okay. Wow.
00:29:13	Okay.
00:29:16	[Giggling]
00:29:19	# Missy be puttin' it down #
00:29:21	# I'm the hottest round #
00:29:22	# I told y'all
00:29:23	# Y'all can't
00:29:25	# Listen to me now #
00:29:26	# I'm lastin' 20 rounds #
00:29:27	# And if you want me, people #
00:29:29	# Then come on
00:29:31	And Dan's like,
00:29:35	[Tires screeching]
00:29:36	And I'm like,
00:29:39	You know?
00:29:41	What was your name again?
00:29:43	Andy.
00:29:45	Let me tell you
00:29:50	Dan rhymes with man,
00:29:53	And he was a jerk-off.
00:29:54	Do you know what I mean?
00:29:57	Wow.
00:30:01	You're not a...
00:30:04	Ugh.
00:30:05	I think I ate some
00:30:10	You're cute.
00:30:18	That tasted good.
00:30:23	Look out! Sorry.
00:30:26	Watch it!
00:30:28	[Exclaiming]
00:30:30	Do you think I'm pretty?
00:30:33	Oh, God, yes!
00:30:36	You're not looking at me.
00:30:38	You're not looking at me.
00:30:40	Do you think I'm pretty?
00:30:43	Look at me!
00:30:46	God, I just wanna live!
00:30:50	God, I hope
00:30:53	I am in a bad mood.
00:30:56	I'm so tired.
00:31:00	Hey, whoa!
00:31:01	[Glass shattering]
00:31:02	Oh, God! Turn away!
00:31:05	Hey, get off the wheel.
00:31:09	You're not gonna
00:31:12	I'm starving.
00:31:13	Let's get some
00:31:17	[Tires screeching]
00:31:18	Okay, here we are.
00:31:22	Home sweet home.
00:31:24	Oh, mommy!
00:31:26	[Screeching]
00:31:29	[Panting]
00:31:30	Are you okay?
00:31:35	Okay. We're okay.
00:31:38	[Laughing]
00:31:40	[Crying]
00:31:41	Are you okay?
00:31:43	Well, are you...
00:31:49	[Gasps]
00:31:51	I'm sorry.
00:31:52	That's okay.
00:31:57	I'll still have sex with you
00:31:59	You know what, I think
00:32:02	At least I don't have
00:32:05	Did you have
00:32:07	I thought you might.
00:32:09	It was a very bad night.
00:32:10	[All laughing]
00:32:12	Yeah, laugh.
00:32:13	You know what,
00:32:16	if some girl had just
00:32:19	[Grunts]
00:32:20	You know what, you're right,
00:32:22	Let me apologize to you
00:32:24	for not mentioning in detail
00:32:28	who's falling down
00:32:31	that you should
00:32:34	Okay,
00:32:38	You know what,
00:32:40	who rides a bike.
00:32:41	Yeah, everyone rides a bike,
00:32:44	Why don't you kiss something?
00:32:46	Because this is over,
00:32:49	Can I just interject
00:32:51	[Stuttering]
00:32:52	you're putting the pussy up
00:32:55	You're just building
00:32:56	What are you even
00:32:58	"Building the pussy up,"
00:33:00	You making the pussy into
00:33:05	and what you're doing is...
00:33:06	you're psyching yourself
00:33:09	Yeah, I think
00:33:11	I'm putting the pussy up
00:33:13	Right.
00:33:15	It's "Pussalia," right?
00:33:16	Look where you going.
00:33:19	Say what word?
00:33:21	Fuck it.
00:33:24	Dude! New pants, man.
00:33:26	You know what, Dave?
00:33:27	You know, you said
00:33:30	(David)
00:33:32	Can one of you guys
00:33:33	No hablo English, lady.
00:33:36	I actually am helping
00:33:39	Okay, well...
00:33:41	But our stock supervisor
00:33:44	He can answer
00:33:46	Thank you.
00:33:47	Have a nice day.
00:33:50	Great, okay. Hi, I'm Trish.
00:33:55	This one looks pretty good.
00:33:58	I don't?
00:33:59	No, actually to be
00:34:01	you don't wanna buy
00:34:02	It's a dead technology.
00:34:04	It's like getting
00:34:08	Yeah.
00:34:11	You know what, actually
00:34:13	This is a dual.
00:34:14	You've got the VCR
00:34:17	So, you know,
00:34:21	Six months or so?
00:34:22	That's good.
00:34:24	At best. Sorry.
00:34:26	No.
00:34:28	Okay, that sounds good,
00:34:29	Okay, all right.
00:34:31	[Cal speaking Spanish]
00:34:32	It's perfect.
00:34:33	Coming through.
00:34:35	Okay.
00:34:36	God, you know,
00:34:38	and I've never been
00:34:40	Really? Where at?
00:34:41	The
00:34:45	Yes.
00:34:47	Yeah, I was
00:34:49	you know, obvious.
00:34:52	I don't understand.
00:34:55	Well, I take the stuff
00:34:57	and then I "sell" it
00:34:59	But you don't actually
00:35:03	No. I don't.
00:35:05	So why do you have a store?
00:35:07	I don't know.
00:35:08	No, I think it's because,
00:35:12	and not like a crazy person
00:35:15	Sure. I didn't
00:35:17	No, it's okay.
00:35:19	You know what,
00:35:23	see it for yourself,
00:35:24	I'll check out
00:35:26	Yeah, it's the one
00:35:31	Here's my number. So...
00:35:33	All right.
00:35:36	Why do I need your number
00:35:40	I don't really have
00:35:43	Sorry.
00:35:45	So I'll write you up,
00:35:48	Okay.
00:35:50	Okay, see you over there.
00:35:52	Okay.
00:35:53	Awful chatty.
00:35:55	Look, I think she gave me
00:35:58	She wrote down her number,
00:36:00	No, she gave you.
00:36:02	See, you still mad at me?
00:36:03	No, I was never.
00:36:05	Yeah, we gonna
00:36:07	This is pretty cool.
00:36:09	Unbelievable.
00:36:11	The man pulled a number.
00:36:12	It's just... I was in...
00:36:15	What you did
00:36:16	Man, she just gave me
00:36:19	That's great, man.
00:36:23	It is.
00:36:24	Okay, here's a question.
00:36:28	You like her?
00:36:29	You definitely
00:36:31	When is the next Olympics?
00:36:32	(Jay)
00:36:34	just get you a bunch
00:36:36	run through them,
00:36:37	Boom, boom, boom.
00:36:38	And once you've done
00:36:41	now you ready to go up
00:36:44	You know what I mean?
00:36:46	My uncle used to drive
00:36:48	Screw these analogies.
00:36:50	you are going to be so bad
00:36:52	you don't want to have sex
00:36:54	'cause they'll think
00:36:56	You want to have sex
00:36:58	so that by the time
00:37:00	you're not terrible at sex,
00:37:04	Probably still
00:37:06	(Jay)
00:37:08	Way to go, man.
00:37:11	(Cal)
00:37:13	Like a train, round the bend.
00:37:26	[Clears throat]
00:37:48	[Coughing]
00:37:49	Yeah.
00:37:51	I can't.
00:37:53	I can't pee in public.
00:37:54	I've got a mental block
00:37:56	Come on, do it.
00:38:01	[Shouting]
00:38:03	I peed in public!
00:38:06	Let me out.
00:38:09	I don't want to be in here.
00:38:12	Just learn the techniques.
00:38:14	[Woman moaning]
00:38:16	You guys, this is not funny!
00:38:29	[Sighing]
00:38:44	[Ringing]
00:38:49	Hello.
00:38:50	[Grunting]
00:38:56	Hey, what you watching?
00:38:58	Dawn of the Dead, man.
00:39:00	The store is slow.
00:39:02	Yo, is Paula back?
00:39:05	She said we can't
00:39:07	I know.
00:39:10	I know this is gonna
00:39:12	Am I good-looking?
00:39:14	Do you think a woman
00:39:16	[Snarls]
00:39:18	Oh, my God, the blood just...
00:39:21	Wait, Andy. Hold up.
00:39:23	Listen,
00:39:26	Are you ready
00:39:29	Yeah.
00:39:32	I don't think
00:39:34	and I don't think
00:39:35	Well,
00:39:36	You seem really well-groomed
00:39:39	I mean, look, dude.
00:39:42	All of this right here?
00:39:45	You gotta highlight
00:39:48	You willing to make
00:39:50	Absolutely.
00:39:51	You see that whole
00:39:54	You need to wax
00:39:56	Does it hurt?
00:39:58	I mean,
00:40:00	It didn't hurt me.
00:40:01	[Screaming]
00:40:03	[Exclaiming]
00:40:07	Fuck that nigger up!
00:40:10	Bitch, get out of the room!
00:40:15	(Jay)
00:40:17	This the one right here,
00:40:19	So this is your first time
00:40:21	Yes, it is.
00:40:23	Take off your shirt.
00:40:28	We're gonna need
00:40:30	I'm staying.
00:40:33	And clear all my appointments
00:40:36	Here we go.
00:40:38	That feels warm.
00:40:42	(David)
00:40:47	(Cal)
00:40:51	(Jay)
00:40:53	Thanks, man.
00:40:54	So, ready?
00:40:57	[Speaks foreign language]
00:41:01	[Screaming]
00:41:02	You fucker!
00:41:05	I'm sorry.
00:41:08	You want me to stop now?
00:41:12	Let's do another one.
00:41:14	That one little patch
00:41:16	Does it look good?
00:41:18	[Exclaiming]
00:41:19	(David)
00:41:22	(Andy)
00:41:25	Wow! I didn't expect
00:41:29	(Jay)
00:41:32	Yeah.
00:41:34	Okay.
00:41:36	You ready?
00:41:37	[Speaks foreign language]
00:41:39	[Screaming]
00:41:41	Sucker motherfucker!
00:41:43	You shithead! I hate you!
00:41:46	I hate you so much!
00:41:49	That one hurt.
00:41:50	That one hurt
00:41:52	That's great, man.
00:41:54	[Exhaling]
00:41:56	One, two, three.
00:41:59	[Grunting]
00:42:00	Fuck me!
00:42:04	In the asshole!
00:42:08	[Andy exclaiming]
00:42:10	I'm sorry.
00:42:11	I really don't
00:42:13	You know what,
00:42:14	That's all I can really take.
00:42:16	(Andy)
00:42:19	Where did Jay go?
00:42:21	Ready?
00:42:23	One, two.
00:42:24	[Gasping]
00:42:25	Cocksucker motherfucker!
00:42:27	You pulled on two.
00:42:30	Why didn't you
00:42:32	Freddy pie hole!
00:42:33	[Andy exclaiming in Spanish]
00:42:35	No! Kelly Clarkson!
00:42:37	[Screaming]
00:42:42	[Andy screaming]
00:42:44	That's fucked up.
00:42:46	That's fucked up.
00:42:50	I hate you.
00:42:52	Stop smiling, you jerk!
00:42:54	You pussy.
00:42:55	Oh, God. What's next?
00:42:58	You're doing the nipple.
00:43:00	Come on.
00:43:02	Please, Cal,
00:43:04	You kidding me, man?
00:43:08	Do it! Just hold.
00:43:10	[Exhaling]
00:43:11	(woman)
00:43:13	No. Yup.
00:43:14	One, two, three.
00:43:17	[Screaming]
00:43:20	Mika, you should
00:43:23	Okay, all right.
00:43:26	I think we're done.
00:43:29	[Panting]
00:43:31	You know what, guys...
00:43:32	this is not
00:43:35	You look like
00:43:37	Thank you very much.
00:43:54	[Screaming]
00:43:58	(Cal)
00:44:00	Thank you.
00:44:02	Andy,
00:44:04	I wasn't very nice
00:44:08	You were nice to me.
00:44:09	No, I was... I thought
00:44:12	I kind of thought
00:44:14	[Laughs]
00:44:15	I'm not joking.
00:44:17	Hey!
00:44:20	Don't worry. There's a lot of
00:44:23	I could hurl it
00:44:25	Yeah. It will be fine.
00:44:27	if we tried.
00:44:28	Look, you shouldn't listen
00:44:30	Those guys are crazy.
00:44:33	Look, there is a hot-ass girl
00:44:36	There she is,
00:44:42	Something wrong
00:44:44	(Cal)
00:44:45	You know, I kind of...
00:44:48	like the woman
00:44:51	That's great, but...
00:44:52	you're not gonna
00:44:53	unless you play
00:44:55	You need to plant
00:44:57	It's like this.
00:45:01	that the more seeds
00:45:04	...the more pot
00:45:06	I think I have all the advice
00:45:10	Don't get bitter.
00:45:11	I'm not bitter.
00:45:14	That was Jay's idea, okay?
00:45:16	And I wasn't going to
00:45:18	like the gayest thing
00:45:21	Look at me.
00:45:25	I am ugly as fuck
00:45:28	but I get with women.
00:45:30	Aren't you curious
00:45:32	I am not ugly as fuck.
00:45:35	I didn't say you were
00:45:37	Well, you implied it.
00:45:38	It doesn't matter if
00:45:41	It's about talking to women,
00:45:44	because I observe,
00:45:48	What? You never
00:45:50	That's because I am not
00:45:53	Okay? The problem
00:45:56	they don't know
00:45:57	You know what my problem is?
00:46:01	What am I supposed to say?
00:46:04	"I'm an accomplished
00:46:06	"I am a seventh-degree
00:46:09	[Exclaims]
00:46:10	Do me, yo-yo master.
00:46:12	I want you to do me,
00:46:16	Are you done? Listen.
00:46:18	The problem
00:46:20	they just plain straight up
00:46:24	Just ask a question, okay?
00:46:27	Because women do not care
00:46:30	at all anyway, you know.
00:46:32	And all they want to do
00:46:34	So you're just gonna
00:46:35	Okay? So remember.
00:46:37	Questions, be cool,
00:46:40	Here, be David Caruso
00:46:44	Okay. I know exactly
00:46:46	You do. That's good.
00:46:50	(Cal)
00:46:54	Go plant that seed, man.
00:46:56	Plant it with your finger.
00:47:10	Can I help you?
00:47:14	I don't know. Can you?
00:47:17	Are you looking
00:47:20	Is there something
00:47:24	[Laughs]
00:47:27	We have
00:47:29	So, maybe it depends
00:47:37	What do you like?
00:47:39	We have a great section of...
00:47:43	do-it-yourself.
00:47:45	Do you like to
00:47:48	Sometimes. I mean...
00:47:51	if the mood strikes.
00:47:55	How is the mood
00:47:58	[Laughing]
00:48:01	[Tittering]
00:48:05	What's your name?
00:48:07	What's your name?
00:48:08	I'm Beth.
00:48:13	Andy.
00:48:15	Andy.
00:48:19	Don't tell on me,
00:48:23	Unless you want
00:48:26	Beth.
00:48:30	Wow. That totally worked!
00:48:32	I literally said nothing.
00:48:34	I would've thought
00:48:36	Should I have asked her out?
00:48:38	You wait for it
00:48:39	and then you fuck the plant.
00:48:45	Okay.
00:48:47	This is easy.
00:48:49	All right.
00:48:51	Hello, Trish.
00:48:54	[Laughing]
00:48:55	Good joke.
00:48:56	This is a fun conversation.
00:48:58	Just grow a backbone
00:49:01	She asked you to call her.
00:49:09	[Telephone ringing]
00:49:10	Hello.
00:49:12	Hey, how you doing?
00:49:15	How you doing?
00:49:17	Who is this?
00:49:20	This is James.
00:49:23	[Grunting]
00:49:24	I was wondering whether
00:49:26	to talk about
00:49:28	Are you a telemarketer, James?
00:49:31	Yep.
00:49:32	Are you at the top
00:49:33	Can you get to a roof quickly?
00:49:36	I mean, you people are sick.
00:49:37	Get a real fucking job,
00:49:39	Go shoot yourself
00:49:40	Hey, why don't you just,
00:49:43	Why don't you do that, huh?
00:49:45	Okay.
00:49:46	Nice to talk to you.
00:49:51	Oh.
00:49:52	[Doorbell ringing]
00:49:55	Hey, man.
00:49:59	Can I come in?
00:50:03	[Sighs]
00:50:04	Sweet video game chair.
00:50:10	So what's in the box?
00:50:11	It's my personal collection
00:50:14	I want to give it to you.
00:50:15	I think there might be
00:50:18	Pandora's box of love.
00:50:19	Okay.
00:50:21	Amy and I,
00:50:23	and we'd put it on
00:50:25	and then act it out
00:50:27	and it was...
00:50:31	She's adorable.
00:50:33	Fucking bitch.
00:50:35	Well, you know,
00:50:37	and generous and everything.
00:50:38	But I just don't want
00:50:41	There's some really
00:50:43	Really great movies in here,
00:50:46	Hey, did you ever see
00:50:48	Yeah.
00:50:49	It's called School of...
00:50:51	You know...
00:50:52	That's nice.
00:50:57	That makes sense.
00:50:58	Dude, here it is.
00:51:00	Boner Jams '03.
00:51:03	All these great scenes
00:51:07	I think you'd really dig it.
00:51:10	This is...
00:51:12	Everybody Loves Raymond.
00:51:13	That's probably
00:51:15	This is a good show.
00:51:16	Well, I don't think
00:51:19	I don't want this stuff, okay?
00:51:23	What, masturbate?
00:51:26	Dude, I've jacked it twice
00:51:29	Are you kidding me? Why not?
00:51:32	Well, then,
00:51:34	No, seriously,
00:51:37	You need to.
00:51:38	You're like one of these
00:51:39	all hermetically sealed
00:51:41	You gotta play with...
00:51:44	Don't take it out!
00:51:45	I'm sorry.
00:51:48	It loses its value if you
00:51:50	I'm just saying, let it out.
00:51:54	Take your porn with you.
00:51:56	Take your box-o-porn.
00:51:58	It's my gift to you.
00:52:01	David, it's not...
00:52:02	Andy, for the last time...
00:52:04	I don't want your giant box
00:52:05	No, no, no!
00:52:08	So uncool.
00:52:10	Uncool?
00:52:12	Uncool is trying
00:52:17	(David)
00:52:19	School of Cock with you.
00:52:21	##[Hello playing]
00:53:31	It's nothing official.
00:53:34	Just a little token
00:53:40	[Tape forwarding]
00:53:45	[Woman moaning]
00:53:49	[Sighs]
00:53:58	Hi, Andy.
00:54:01	I want to have
00:54:06	I want to touch
00:54:10	'cause I want to have
00:54:14	I want you to put
00:54:18	I want to do lots of,
00:54:22	hot things with you. Shit.
00:54:25	This really isn't working,
00:54:28	because I am you.
00:54:30	[Exclaiming]
00:54:32	(Andy)
00:54:35	Nothing is ever good enough
00:54:38	Hey, you can't speak
00:54:40	You do.
00:54:45	[Traffic humming]
00:54:47	I heard Dave gave you
00:54:50	Yeah, he did.
00:54:52	You ever watch, like,
00:54:54	when they take a black light
00:54:56	and show you all the semen
00:55:00	Yeah.
00:55:01	You blind someone
00:55:04	Could see that thing
00:55:09	This right here,
00:55:12	I'm talking about,
00:55:14	[exclaiming]
00:55:16	Sometimes,
00:55:19	I think he might be
00:55:21	Really?
00:55:22	I actually think he might be,
00:55:24	and this is like
00:55:26	Like he's bored at work
00:55:29	so he told us all
00:55:31	You're seeing that
00:55:33	You're just projecting
00:55:35	He might be an idiot savant...
00:55:37	but he's not, like,
00:55:40	But he's got a great body.
00:55:41	Would you fuck him?
00:55:44	You would fuck him?
00:55:48	Hey, Andy, what are you doing
00:55:50	I don't know.
00:55:52	We're gonna go around
00:55:55	There's this great place.
00:55:58	I don't know. Okay.
00:56:01	We brought you a shirt.
00:56:03	This place is pretty fancy.
00:56:06	Something going on?
00:56:07	Hey, who's ready
00:56:09	[People cheering]
00:56:11	Hey, guys...
00:56:14	No, don't ignore me.
00:56:16	Within one hour,
00:56:19	Don't...
00:56:23	All right, ninja master.
00:56:25	We've given you all the advice
00:56:27	Now you gonna put it
00:56:28	Advice? You guys all
00:56:30	He thinks you're a pothead.
00:56:32	Dude. Hey, partner.
00:56:35	You asked for this shit.
00:56:37	Will you just quit whining
00:56:39	I'm not whining like a bitch.
00:56:42	And you about to cram
00:56:45	I don't want to cram pimpage.
00:56:48	you on my level. Come on.
00:56:50	(Cal)
00:56:53	[Buzzing]
00:56:54	[People chattering]
00:56:56	(woman)
00:56:57	I'm fine.
00:56:59	Are you fine?
00:57:01	Yeah.
00:57:03	You're fine then?
00:57:06	Are you fucking retarded?
00:57:09	Do you want me to be
00:57:11	[Buzzer sounding]
00:57:12	When I look into
00:57:14	and they are smiling
00:57:16	"Thank you, Dr. Montalban,
00:57:18	it was worth it.
00:57:19	[Buzzer sounding]
00:57:22	Amy...
00:57:24	what are you doing here?
00:57:27	And you are Gina?
00:57:30	Hey, what's up?
00:57:32	Look, I'm going to be
00:57:34	It's been a long time
00:57:37	Spent a lot of time
00:57:40	Looking to get back up
00:57:42	You know what I'm saying?
00:57:44	Remember that time
00:57:48	Please don't reminisce about
00:57:51	It's so creepy.
00:57:53	I want to take you
00:57:55	Cut it out.
00:57:57	This go to Paris!
00:57:59	I don't want to
00:58:01	You're a whore.
00:58:03	I just didn't like you.
00:58:04	This is so us.
00:58:06	[Laughs]
00:58:07	[Snickering]
00:58:08	Psycho talk.
00:58:09	You're a good-looking man.
00:58:11	Very pretty.
00:58:14	You're real feminine,
00:58:16	because that would be
00:58:19	You know what I'm saying?
00:58:20	Maybe throw a little rouge
00:58:24	You game?
00:58:25	[Buzzer sounding]
00:58:26	You need to stop
00:58:30	Because you're giving
00:58:33	I moved,
00:58:36	He's practically
00:58:38	Well, I didn't know all that.
00:58:40	[Buzzer sounding]
00:58:41	I love Minnesota.
00:58:43	(woman)
00:58:45	with a population of, like,
00:58:48	Yeah, it's like
00:58:50	What about you?
00:58:53	Really... God, yes.
00:58:57	The town that I grew up in
00:59:00	you know, it was just so safe.
00:59:03	I mean, a girl could just walk
00:59:06	and just, you know,
00:59:10	[Coughing]
00:59:11	[Buzzer sounding]
00:59:12	(Jay)
00:59:14	Spank bank has
00:59:17	(Cal)
00:59:19	You're gonna think I'm crazy.
00:59:22	Can't get va-Gina
00:59:35	You know what's a fun game?
00:59:37	You take three
00:59:39	and you see
00:59:41	[Sighing]
00:59:43	You always win
00:59:49	(Jill)
00:59:51	Is this yours?
00:59:52	My girlfriend, Jill,
00:59:56	Yeah, right.
00:59:57	God, I've been looking
00:59:59	Thank you so much
01:00:01	So, you actually wrote
01:00:03	she was
01:00:05	Mmm-hmm. Yeah.
01:00:08	So you wrote
01:00:11	Yeah, I remember that girl.
01:00:15	Fo show.
01:00:16	Let me show you
01:00:18	Right, I'm just looking
01:00:20	Yup, it's great.
01:00:23	Hey, Amy, how's it going?
01:00:27	I feel fantastic
01:00:30	I feel awesome!
01:00:31	Can you just show me
01:00:34	How have you been?
01:00:36	I bet... Hey, have you been
01:00:41	Sir, please, sir.
01:00:42	You are never gonna
01:00:44	with that kind of mentality
01:00:47	Who the fuck are you
01:00:48	I've never even met you.
01:00:50	So why don't you
01:00:52	And stop with the inquisition.
01:00:54	That's how you talk?
01:00:56	You know what,
01:00:58	You ain't my bitch.
01:00:59	Know what I saying?
01:01:01	So, shit, man. Fuck it.
01:01:03	You shouldn't even be
01:01:05	I don't hang out with him.
01:01:08	I tried to introduce him
01:01:09	he made a fool of himself.
01:01:11	I don't mess with him, baby.
01:01:12	You should keep your ho
01:01:15	Bro, I can't let you...
01:01:16	I can't let you be talking
01:01:19	Know what I'm saying?
01:01:21	You miss that ass?
01:01:24	That ass is going out tonight,
01:01:27	Maybe to a night club.
01:01:28	Hey, Andy...
01:01:30	take a look at your pal.
01:01:32	Yeah, he's performing
01:01:35	Isn't that sweet?
01:01:36	I'm gonna send
01:01:38	and you're gonna
01:01:39	What? Selling things?
01:01:41	I don't think
01:01:42	And you're gonna have to
01:01:44	I know that's a frightening
01:01:45	but I think you can handle it.
01:01:47	So get out there
01:01:49	...thing for Amy.
01:01:50	Hold it.
01:01:52	(David)
01:01:53	##[music playing]
01:01:56	Dude, the floor's
01:01:58	All you got to do
01:02:00	Come on, man.
01:02:03	And you could act
01:02:05	Yeah.
01:02:08	(Jay)
01:02:12	(Jay)
01:02:14	(Andy)
01:02:16	You know what, he ain't going
01:02:18	No. We need to, like,
01:02:21	Yo, Andy.
01:02:22	What's up, dude?
01:02:24	Hey, Jay.
01:02:25	I am throwing a party tonight.
01:02:27	It's gonna be real mellow,
01:02:29	Now, you really
01:02:30	It's gonna be
01:02:33	Are you free?
01:02:35	Yeah, I think so.
01:02:36	That was a joke, man.
01:02:39	I'm okay.
01:02:40	All right, bye.
01:02:44	So, tell me, Montel...
01:02:47	why weren't we invited
01:02:50	No, hold up.
01:02:51	No, no.
01:02:53	You're not coming
01:02:55	Fuck you, okay?
01:02:57	First of all,
01:02:58	Go fuck a goat.
01:03:00	Why you always telling me
01:03:02	(Mooj)
01:03:06	[Elevator bell dings]
01:03:09	##[music playing on stereo]
01:03:10	[Knocking on door]
01:03:20	Hello?
01:03:23	Hello?
01:03:26	Hello.
01:03:29	Hello. Hi.
01:03:32	Are you here for Jay's party?
01:03:35	I am Jay's party.
01:03:38	You know what, hiring
01:03:41	What? Ain't nobody hired
01:03:44	What are you talking about?
01:03:45	She was really nice,
01:03:47	If that sister
01:03:48	that was the Mona Lisa
01:03:51	You got a hummer
01:03:53	You know, aren't we owed
01:03:56	Get a dick, man.
01:03:57	Do you guys even like me?
01:03:59	Or is this some sort
01:04:03	Because I'm not a freak.
01:04:05	I always thought
01:04:09	I think that he's rocking
01:04:11	Shut up, Dave!
01:04:13	Hold up. Let's just chill
01:04:17	Look at him.
01:04:22	He looks
01:04:24	Mmm-hmm.
01:04:26	So you saying
01:04:27	Yes.
01:04:28	Okay, well, how do you know
01:04:31	Because her hands were
01:04:34	And she had an Adam's apple
01:04:37	So you have no proof.
01:04:39	You know what?
01:04:41	Just stay away from me.
01:04:43	that you're all stealing
01:04:46	Come on.
01:04:48	We did this
01:04:51	and we didn't think you have
01:04:53	Really?
01:04:55	Okay, watch this.
01:04:56	Yo, Andy,
01:04:58	That's a third strike
01:05:04	[Brakes screech]
01:05:06	[Man shouting]
01:05:18	[Grunts]
01:05:20	[Bells chiming]
01:05:23	Hi.
01:05:25	Andy. Hi.
01:05:27	You remember my name.
01:05:29	How you doing?
01:05:32	That's good, yeah.
01:05:35	Okay.
01:05:36	How's business been?
01:05:37	You know, it's coming along.
01:05:41	Do you want to
01:05:44	Yes, I would like that.
01:05:47	I think I'm maybe free
01:05:50	Or you could call me tomorrow
01:05:53	Okay. Great.
01:05:55	Okay, so I'll call you,
01:05:59	How you doing?
01:06:00	Okay, so I'll... Yeah.
01:06:02	Can I help you?
01:06:04	Yeah, these are wonderful.
01:06:06	Thanks, they are.
01:06:10	Funny.
01:06:11	Yeah, they are.
01:06:12	Yeah.
01:06:14	I don't actually
01:06:19	I don't get it.
01:06:20	Okay.
01:06:22	Can you help me?
01:06:25	Good luck to you, and to you.
01:06:28	Great. Nice to see you.
01:06:31	Bye.
01:06:33	So, I guess I'll just
01:06:35	and you can give me
01:06:38	You know,
01:06:41	Yes. I'd just rather buy them
01:06:43	Yeah, I know.
01:06:45	I wish, too,
01:06:49	I'm just trying
01:06:51	so I can wear them.
01:06:53	(Cal)
01:06:54	(David)
01:06:55	That's just so not fair
01:06:59	I'm telling you, man,
01:07:01	I'm so...
01:07:03	Celibacy is the
01:07:06	Look at him.
01:07:08	but he's 10 years older.
01:07:10	Why? Because he's never had
01:07:12	No she-devil sucked
01:07:25	[Telephone ringing]
01:07:31	Hello?
01:07:34	Is this Trish?
01:07:36	Who's calling, please?
01:07:38	Hi, Andy.
01:07:41	I'm good. How're you doing?
01:07:44	(Cal)
01:07:46	No, I'm not gay.
01:07:48	I think...
01:07:51	I just want you to know
01:07:53	of three conversations
01:07:57	There's this
01:08:00	"I'm kind of going to wanna
01:08:03	And then there's the big,
01:08:06	You're gay for saying that.
01:08:09	You know how I know
01:08:12	'Cause you macraméd yourself
01:08:14	You know how I know
01:08:15	You just told me
01:08:17	You know how I know
01:08:19	'Cause you're gay
01:08:22	Do you know how I know
01:08:24	You like Coldplay.
01:08:26	You're dead.
01:08:27	[Both groaning]
01:08:29	Come on.
01:08:30	Leave my torso alone
01:08:33	I also wanted to call...
01:08:34	and see what night
01:08:37	I'm actually free tonight.
01:08:41	Okay. Now, I was thinking
01:08:44	(Trish)
01:08:45	Okay, what time
01:08:49	Let's see.
01:08:51	That's actually
01:08:55	That's cool.
01:08:56	I love getting on the back
01:08:58	My boyfriend in college
01:09:01	So, I mean, I'm cool.
01:09:03	Yeah, I bet that was cool.
01:09:08	You know how I know
01:09:10	How?
01:09:11	You like the movie
01:09:13	You know how I know
01:09:15	I saw you make a spinach dip
01:09:18	You know how I know
01:09:20	You have a rainbow
01:09:23	"I love it
01:09:25	That's gay?
01:09:26	God damn it!
01:09:28	I'm ripping your head off
01:09:31	And now I'm throwing it
01:09:34	Fuck you!
01:09:37	You guys...
01:09:38	she's picking me up
01:09:42	Oh, drag, dude.
01:09:44	She's picking you up
01:09:46	That's fucked up, man.
01:09:48	Why?
01:09:50	Seriously. I mean,
01:09:54	You gotta see this through
01:09:57	What is she going to think
01:10:00	He's got a billion toys.
01:10:02	And more video games
01:10:05	It's all right.
01:10:07	Is that the
01:10:10	It's Oscar Goldman.
01:10:12	Why do you have that?
01:10:14	That's much more valuable
01:10:16	Well, that may be the case.
01:10:20	I'm not
01:10:22	I mean, seriously, Asia?
01:10:24	You framed an Asia poster?
01:10:26	How hard did the people
01:10:28	when you brought this in?
01:10:30	Know why you're gay?
01:10:32	You guys cool it
01:10:33	You know, she's on her way
01:10:35	First, you relax, okay?
01:10:37	Just stop calming me down
01:10:40	Okay, we just take everything
01:10:43	and we move it out of here.
01:10:44	So it doesn't look like
01:10:53	Hi.
01:10:54	Good.
01:10:56	So, you wanna head out?
01:10:58	Did you just
01:11:00	No. Actually I'm getting
01:11:02	I'm having carpet
01:11:06	Well, you know.
01:11:07	Okay.
01:11:09	Yeah.
01:11:11	I should tear up
01:11:12	and see if there's
01:11:14	That's never the case.
01:11:20	This is gonna be fun.
01:11:21	You know,
01:11:23	I've never been in
01:11:26	I'm glad you came.
01:11:27	You know,
01:11:31	I think I've avoided nice guys
01:11:34	at my own peril.
01:11:37	My last boyfriend
01:11:39	Mmm-hmm.
01:11:40	And so...
01:11:42	[Laughing]
01:11:43	No, it's okay.
01:11:45	Buddha punch.
01:11:48	Excuse me, miss.
01:11:50	and sing happy birthday
01:11:56	##[Singing in Chinese]
01:12:08	[All cheering]
01:12:11	That was so good. What?
01:12:14	It's your birthday, too?
01:12:16	It's his birthday, too.
01:12:18	Could you sing for him
01:12:21	(man)
01:12:23	##[Singing in Chinese]
01:12:26	[Inaudible]
01:12:36	Thanks a lot.
01:12:55	You really like kissing,
01:12:59	[Laughing]
01:13:01	I really do.
01:13:02	Take off your pants,
01:13:06	Okay.
01:13:10	Wow, this is
01:13:12	Thank God.
01:13:15	Okay, I'm
01:13:18	Do you need some help?
01:13:20	I think I almost got them.
01:13:24	Wow, that's...
01:13:26	[panting]
01:13:28	Hey, wait.
01:13:29	I don't like guns.
01:13:31	[Laughing]
01:13:34	That's funny.
01:13:36	I have condoms
01:13:38	Okay.
01:13:40	Check the expiration date
01:13:43	And we didn't have
01:13:46	Okay.
01:13:52	I got them.
01:13:55	How does this go?
01:13:57	Okay. "Roll over the tip
01:14:04	Over the balls?
01:14:06	It doesn't say.
01:14:11	Do you mind
01:14:14	Yeah.
01:14:17	Wow. You got to be kidding.
01:14:20	I am Aquaman.
01:14:23	What is that?
01:14:29	[Grunting]
01:14:34	[Coughing]
01:14:40	[Condom bursts]
01:14:41	[Yelps]
01:14:43	Mom?
01:14:44	[Marla exclaiming]
01:14:45	What's going on here?
01:14:47	Who the hell are you?
01:14:49	Hi, I'm Andy.
01:14:50	God! What are you doing?
01:14:51	Marla, get the fuck
01:14:53	You know what...
01:14:54	I cannot believe
01:14:57	That is so unfair.
01:14:59	(Trish)
01:15:00	Oh, Jesus!
01:15:03	Oh, my God!
01:15:04	[Groaning]
01:15:07	I'm so sorry.
01:15:15	Dude, teach me.
01:15:27	(man)
01:15:28	Hi, yes, I'm calling
01:15:32	and your ad said to call
01:15:35	How much of the medicine
01:15:38	I haven't taken any,
01:15:41	that if you've had
01:15:45	You're only supposed to call
01:15:48	Okay. I'm sorry.
01:15:52	Yes. If you haven't taken
01:15:54	Right. I'm sorry. Right.
01:15:56	So, there's nothing
01:15:59	I just don't wanna...
01:16:01	I'm in Bombay, India.
01:16:02	Okay. No, not you personally.
01:16:05	I just don't want
01:16:07	[Laughs]
01:16:08	You know,
01:16:11	Okay. Yup.
01:16:12	That's one thing people do
01:16:16	Yeah, that's not an option.
01:16:19	Okay, well,
01:16:21	I'd rather not masturbate.
01:16:23	If you'd like the erection
01:16:26	blow out the flame
01:16:31	And that will focus
01:16:33	and you will lose
01:16:36	Take your finger
01:16:38	and if you do that
01:16:40	your erection will go away.
01:16:42	It sounds unpleasant
01:16:44	It is a trick we use
01:16:46	Okay, those are all
01:16:49	We appreciate your business.
01:16:52	Oh, no.
01:16:54	No, not this time.
01:17:07	[Sighing]
01:17:10	[Exclaiming]
01:17:17	[Sighing]
01:17:25	[Exclaims]
01:17:26	My goodness, Andy,
01:17:28	Thank you.
01:17:31	Thanks.
01:17:33	Thanks.
01:17:34	I'm going to put you out
01:17:36	Really?
01:17:37	Wow. Okay.
01:17:38	Good. We're gonna get you
01:17:40	Great. Thanks.
01:17:41	You know, Andy,
01:17:44	I think I might have
01:17:48	You ever heard of the term
01:17:52	What?
01:17:54	It's a special friend...
01:17:57	who you fuck.
01:17:59	No, haven't heard that term.
01:18:01	When I was a little girl,
01:18:05	By the time I was 14,
01:18:08	Can you imagine that?
01:18:12	Well, needless to say,
01:18:15	Like men, yes.
01:18:16	Especially from our
01:18:20	Okay.
01:18:22	You know, Javier...
01:18:24	before he made
01:18:31	he serenaded me with
01:18:35	Really, that's...
01:18:37	That sounds nice.
01:18:39	##[Singing in Spanish]
01:19:07	Okay.
01:19:09	My goodness.
01:19:11	I think we better
01:19:13	Yeah, I better go
01:19:16	So, okay.
01:19:17	So, you mull it over
01:19:19	All right, I will.
01:19:23	[Gasps]
01:19:26	What's up, dawg?
01:19:29	It was a disaster.
01:19:32	Yes. I've never been
01:19:35	Couldn't get the
01:19:37	And one of them
01:19:40	And then her kid
01:19:42	Wait. Hold up.
01:19:43	She was hiding the kid
01:19:44	You know what,
01:19:46	because it was going downhill
01:19:48	Listen, you don't want
01:19:51	Trust me on this one,
01:19:52	For all you know,
01:19:54	Let's say y'all
01:19:55	Next thing you know,
01:19:58	to pick up the
01:20:00	What if he got boys
01:20:02	and they stalking you?
01:20:03	You see what I'm saying?
01:20:05	What the fuck
01:20:07	Here's what you do.
01:20:09	You test her
01:20:12	Here, tell me. Tell me.
01:20:14	I'm a virgin.
01:20:17	I like that because
01:20:21	And I know that,
01:20:25	What if she
01:20:27	Then you punch her
01:20:29	I'm not going to
01:20:31	No. I mean, you punch her
01:20:35	She's different. She's someone
01:20:38	a connection with.
01:20:40	All you trying to do right now
01:20:43	You got a whole lot of semen
01:20:45	I am going to tell her.
01:20:47	You should totally
01:20:49	'Cause I watched this movie
01:20:51	and the message was,
01:20:54	And that was a smart movie.
01:20:55	Yeah, that's the right thing.
01:20:58	Really? All your girlfriends
01:21:02	That's funny. I didn't
01:21:06	I think my first time
01:21:10	Well, I knew it.
01:21:12	I knew that you'd
01:21:15	you would want
01:21:20	with all the compassion
01:21:25	would give to their soul mate.
01:21:26	Oh, my God. I'm in trouble.
01:21:32	Hey, Andy.
01:21:33	(Joe)
01:21:35	No, actually
01:21:37	Hi.
01:21:39	(Andy)
01:21:40	Trish, this is
01:21:42	Hi, Trish.
01:21:44	But tape it for me,
01:21:45	Will do. All right.
01:21:47	So long.
01:21:48	See you later.
01:21:50	Yeah, my man's gonna
01:21:52	Yes, sir.
01:21:53	Yeah, and you better
01:21:56	What is wrong
01:21:58	Mercy, mercy, mercy.
01:22:06	I'm so sorry that happened
01:22:08	No, I'm sorry.
01:22:09	Oh, my God.
01:22:10	No.
01:22:12	Let me...
01:22:16	Kind of hard to talk about.
01:22:19	But...
01:22:20	you know,
01:22:24	about who I am that...
01:22:27	I'm sorry.
01:22:30	I am so sorry,
01:22:33	Yeah, what was that about?
01:22:35	Gosh. You know,
01:22:40	No, you should have
01:22:42	I'm sorry. I know.
01:22:43	What do I care
01:22:46	Well, I have two kids.
01:22:48	Wow. Okay.
01:22:52	Six.
01:22:54	Sixteen.
01:22:55	Twenty-one.
01:22:58	Forty-two.
01:23:00	Fifty-six. How many kids
01:23:02	I have three.
01:23:04	Yeah,
01:23:06	A one-year-old.
01:23:07	That's cool. That's great.
01:23:11	I'm really glad
01:23:19	Listen, Andy...
01:23:21	I don't want to send you
01:23:24	I really feel like
01:23:31	maybe we should hold off
01:23:36	That is a fantastic idea.
01:23:39	Why didn't I think of that?
01:23:41	Really?
01:23:42	No sex?
01:23:45	Because here's the thing.
01:23:47	From personal experience...
01:23:49	I found that
01:23:51	And what we should be
01:23:54	Yeah.
01:23:56	Well, I never thought
01:23:58	I'm going for it.
01:23:59	Well, that just
01:24:03	Are you serious?
01:24:04	Look at my face.
01:24:08	Can you see my nostrils?
01:24:09	Yes.
01:24:11	That's more angry.
01:24:13	Yeah, you know what,
01:24:16	"Yeah," right now, but, like,
01:24:19	"Hey, baby, I really need to
01:24:22	and all that stuff.
01:24:25	you know, three dates...
01:24:30	How about 15?
01:24:31	Fifteen. Screw your 15.
01:24:35	Okay, 20 dates.
01:24:38	Okay.
01:24:40	It's gonna hurt.
01:24:44	Not as much as you think.
01:24:47	We can really get to know
01:24:50	Yeah.
01:24:51	This is one, right?
01:24:55	[Door opening]
01:24:58	[Clearing throat]
01:25:00	Is it safe to come in,
01:25:02	Honey, it's safe.
01:25:06	Great.
01:25:07	(Trish)
01:25:09	Yeah.
01:25:11	Hi, we met.
01:25:14	Julia.
01:25:15	This is Andy.
01:25:18	You know what,
01:25:22	Yeah.
01:25:25	Because I noticed
01:25:27	that you had something shiny
01:25:29	Marla, did you see that?
01:25:32	You think you do?
01:25:33	Do you mind if I check
01:25:36	Big money!
01:25:37	[Exclaiming]
01:25:39	That's amazing.
01:25:41	There's something else, too,
01:25:44	No, actually it's not
01:25:46	Rip!
01:25:47	It is your ear.
01:25:51	I ripped it off.
01:25:52	Gross!
01:25:54	All right. Wait.
01:25:57	walk around with a rubber ear
01:26:01	Yeah, like half the time.
01:26:03	You know, I can come
01:26:05	and do it for your friends
01:26:07	You know what,
01:26:09	Really?
01:26:10	I have to give you
01:26:12	Right. Yes, you do.
01:26:13	Yeah, 'cause you don't have
01:26:16	Right, I don't have a car.
01:26:17	'Cause he doesn't have a car,
01:26:20	Awesome.
01:26:22	And sarcasm is like
01:26:24	So, I'm right there with you.
01:26:26	[Laughing]
01:26:29	But, Dad...
01:26:32	I don't know how to love.
01:26:36	You never...
01:26:37	taught me how...
01:26:42	[ringing]
01:26:45	Hello.
01:26:47	Hey.
01:26:49	Did you tell her
01:26:52	No. I haven't gotten
01:26:54	Really?
01:26:56	No. She was incredible.
01:26:59	She was amazing.
01:27:01	And she has three kids.
01:27:04	And one of her kids
01:27:06	[Coughing]
01:27:08	You all right?
01:27:10	Did you just say she has
01:27:14	Yeah.
01:27:17	No.
01:27:18	I'm not a doctor
01:27:20	but she's a fucking grandma.
01:27:23	Yeah, whatever, you know.
01:27:25	She's the hottest grandma
01:27:26	Yeah, she is.
01:27:28	That's a good-looking grandma.
01:27:30	Well, she's no Jack Palance.
01:27:31	No. If Jack Palance
01:27:33	I would want to
01:27:35	Yeah, me, too.
01:27:37	She's a hot grandma.
01:27:38	Heck, yeah.
01:27:40	You should fuck her
01:27:44	Fuck her while she watches
01:27:46	She would probably find that
01:27:47	Yeah, whatever, you know.
01:27:49	Fuck her and then have her
01:27:53	I'm the dude
01:27:56	(Andy)
01:27:58	Well, Andy,
01:28:00	and you are by far
01:28:04	So, I am promoting you
01:28:07	This is the bullshit
01:28:09	You scumbag! Ass kisser!
01:28:13	Thank you. That's great.
01:28:15	I understand
01:28:19	I'm very happy for you.
01:28:22	Are you still a virgin?
01:28:25	You know, I don't really...
01:28:26	talk about my personal life.
01:28:28	Yes, I am.
01:28:31	My door is always open.
01:28:33	So to speak.
01:28:37	Great. Thank you.
01:28:39	I'm very discreet.
01:28:43	But I'll haunt your dreams.
01:28:48	Okay.
01:28:49	[Sniffing]
01:28:54	Wow.
01:28:58	So who's gonna take my job?
01:29:02	And he's interviewing people
01:29:04	for his old job.
01:29:05	So, have you ever worked
01:29:07	No.
01:29:09	But I have electronics
01:29:13	Perfect. That's the job
01:29:17	More than these other losers.
01:29:19	[Laughs]
01:29:21	I could do that...
01:29:23	I'm also gonna need that
01:29:25	for the price of
01:29:30	That I can't do.
01:29:31	Hey, don't be a Negro.
01:29:34	Hold up.
01:29:37	I mean, you're somebody's nigger
01:29:40	Now you being condescending.
01:29:41	See, you've been warned,
01:29:45	Okay. Well, check this out.
01:29:46	First of all, you're throwing
01:29:48	Okay, now because
01:29:50	I'm gonna take them
01:29:52	Watch your mouth,
01:29:54	Okay, see,
01:29:57	You were looking for a nigger?
01:30:00	Today's forecast:
01:30:03	You want to go?
01:30:05	Then, nig, fire on.
01:30:07	What are we gonna do?
01:30:09	What are you gonna do,
01:30:13	Go, get them, tiger.
01:30:14	This shit just got rigged.
01:30:16	What are you gonna do, bitch?
01:30:18	You know Luca Perry
01:30:20	You ever heard of,
01:30:22	Since I was 16, nigger,
01:30:24	You know what I'm saying,
01:30:26	We fucked dwarfs in the ass.
01:30:28	Nigger, this dwarf here
01:30:30	to pull the trigger off
01:30:32	Come on nigger, back up.
01:30:34	Welcome to Smart Tech.
01:30:35	Is this your boy?
01:30:37	Yeah, nigger,
01:30:39	How can we help you, sir?
01:30:40	No, he don't need no help.
01:30:43	I served him. He's taken
01:30:46	See, what he thought was
01:30:49	But now he see that
01:30:51	that I run this, bitch
01:30:55	This your boy?
01:30:57	Yeah, that's my boy.
01:30:59	You just got
01:31:01	Both y'all niggers going
01:31:04	Both of you all niggers.
01:31:06	What did I do?
01:31:08	Yeah, aim high, Willis.
01:31:11	Please don't do this.
01:31:14	Jay, what's going on?
01:31:18	Jill broke up with me.
01:31:19	I'm so sorry.
01:31:22	I came home a little tipsy.
01:31:24	And I had one of my condoms
01:31:29	Woke up the next morning
01:31:33	I don't know
01:31:35	Why did you cheat on her?
01:31:36	Because I'm insecure!
01:31:38	I know, man.
01:31:41	I'm cold.
01:31:43	Seriously, man, I'm sorry.
01:31:45	I apologize to you. I know.
01:31:47	If you wanna have
01:31:49	you've got to leave the sex
01:31:51	It's all right. You're good.
01:31:52	I'm sorry. Come here.
01:31:54	Man, I love you, too.
01:31:57	You're a good guy.
01:32:01	Do you know how I know
01:32:03	You're holding each other
01:32:06	Cabrón.
01:32:07	[Whooping]
01:32:12	[Exclaiming]
01:32:13	(Trish)
01:32:15	At least he can cook, Mom.
01:32:17	##[Believe It Or Not
01:32:20	I love... Spiderman.
01:32:27	[Whooping]
01:32:36	Pull out slowly
01:32:39	[Screaming]
01:33:00	##[Humming]
01:33:02	[Exclaims]
01:33:07	I'm all right.
01:33:09	Nobody's there.
01:33:10	(Trish)
01:33:13	I want to tell you.
01:33:14	You do?
01:33:15	Like, what do you want to do?
01:33:18	You don't wanna work
01:33:22	I've been working there
01:33:24	And I've been thinking lately
01:33:28	Really?
01:33:29	What kind of store?
01:33:32	Oh, my God, that is...
01:33:35	I don't have enough money
01:33:37	What about those collectibles?
01:33:38	I bet if you sold those,
01:33:40	I just sold a guy's G. I. Joe
01:33:45	Really?
01:33:46	Yeah.
01:33:47	I have 47 of them.
01:33:48	No, you don't.
01:33:50	Yeah, in their
01:33:52	I could help you
01:33:54	I would not take a commission,
01:33:57	You could do it.
01:34:02	Yeah, let's do it.
01:34:22	Aquaman.
01:34:24	Here.
01:34:25	Clothes on.
01:34:28	I'll send you off to...
01:34:31	a farm with lots of land.
01:34:34	So, you and other Aquamen
01:34:38	and play in the Aquafields.
01:34:51	Godspeed, Col. Steve Austin.
01:34:55	You don't wanna go, do you?
01:34:58	Steve Austin can stay.
01:35:04	Hey, Cal. David.
01:35:05	Way to sell a big TV.
01:35:08	She likes you, man.
01:35:09	Too bad I retired my penis.
01:35:12	Mooj, we try to be fair with
01:35:15	Okay, but why every
01:35:19	It's bullshit.
01:35:22	No, I understand.
01:35:23	People buy stereo
01:35:26	Mmm-hmm.
01:35:27	Rich men get off work,
01:35:30	Right.
01:35:33	Okay.
01:35:35	I'm going to give you
01:35:37	And then I'll give you
01:35:40	we'll all be equal, okay.
01:35:43	It's okay.
01:35:45	You're a good man, Andy.
01:35:49	By the way,
01:35:52	I think it's around 17.
01:35:55	It's hard to tell what
01:35:58	Three to go. So that means
01:36:02	Maybe, I might try
01:36:05	I'll pray for your cock.
01:36:07	Thanks. Thank you.
01:36:10	Trish is on the phone.
01:36:12	Girlfriend with a problem.
01:36:14	(Marla)
01:36:17	I'm a woman, okay?
01:36:19	I'm gonna start
01:36:21	We are gonna start
01:36:23	Hello?
01:36:25	What the hell
01:36:26	Oh, my God,
01:36:29	Jesus Christ.
01:36:32	What happened?
01:36:33	She wants to go
01:36:35	She wants birth control.
01:36:37	I want to have sex
01:36:41	So, you want me
01:36:42	No, I don't want you
01:36:44	I want her to keep it
01:36:47	Whoa, whoa, whoa!
01:36:48	"Keep it in my pants"?
01:36:49	Okay, you didn't keep it
01:36:52	I know. I don't want you
01:36:56	Mistakes? Okay,
01:36:59	No, you're not a mistake.
01:37:03	Oh, my God!
01:37:05	Her older sister, I mean,
01:37:08	Because I was such a...
01:37:11	No.
01:37:12	You and your boyfriend
01:37:15	Oh, my God!
01:37:17	We never have sex.
01:37:19	No, we don't.
01:37:20	What? Yes, you do!
01:37:22	You're such a liar!
01:37:25	Why?
01:37:26	[Door slamming]
01:37:27	[Muttering]
01:37:29	I didn't hear anything
01:37:31	What did she say
01:37:34	Fuck you!
01:37:36	[Crying]
01:37:38	Maybe I should take her.
01:37:41	You know, a little information
01:37:58	Cool.
01:38:00	Wow!
01:38:03	Where do you put the penis?
01:38:06	Oh, shit.
01:38:18	It is...
01:38:20	not a Rubik's Cube.
01:38:25	Shit.
01:38:27	God, how much longer
01:38:30	[Exclaims]
01:38:33	Now, you're all here...
01:38:34	because you're interested
01:38:36	Any questions?
01:38:38	Here's a cute story.
01:38:40	and he is with his girlfriend
01:38:44	doing things that are illegal
01:38:47	Sex acts, right?
01:38:50	Did you have a question?
01:38:53	Does anybody else
01:38:55	My daughter is,
01:38:58	dumb.
01:39:00	How do I stop
01:39:02	You want her to stop
01:39:04	I want to stop it,
01:39:07	Yeah, I don't think
01:39:09	Does anybody else
01:39:13	I think some of the people
01:39:17	Is it true that if you
01:39:21	Is that a serious question?
01:39:22	No. It wasn't.
01:39:24	Now, there are a lot
01:39:28	without having sex
01:39:31	What sort of activities?
01:39:33	everybody wants to know
01:39:36	Well,
01:39:41	Outer-course?
01:39:43	Yeah, what is that?
01:39:44	Outer-course is anything
01:39:49	I prefer
01:39:51	[Chuckling]
01:39:52	He really does.
01:39:54	Now, there are ways
01:39:59	Let's see, there are things
01:40:02	You could dry hump.
01:40:04	There is masturbation.
01:40:07	Mutual masturbation.
01:40:09	Deep kissing.
01:40:13	That sounds like
01:40:14	Oral sex play.
01:40:17	Shut up, Seth.
01:40:19	Okay,
01:40:21	who are thinking about
01:40:25	Oh.
01:40:26	Wait. So you're
01:40:29	[Snickers]
01:40:31	I'd tap that.
01:40:34	Seth, what, you think
01:40:37	We don't say, "tap that. "
01:40:40	You know what,
01:40:43	[People laughing]
01:40:45	That's...
01:40:46	We're virgins, too.
01:40:50	No, you know what,
01:40:53	and I don't think
01:40:54	You know what
01:40:56	You're putting the pussy
01:40:57	That's the second time
01:40:59	What is the
01:41:01	Okay, I can't listen
01:41:05	So, bye.
01:41:06	You can get this information
01:41:08	(Judith)
01:41:10	Any other questions?
01:41:12	Do you have any
01:41:14	Seth, you got
01:41:18	[Sighing]
01:41:19	So, I made that all up
01:41:25	No, you didn't.
01:41:26	But thank you
01:41:33	How can you tell?
01:41:34	Well, you know, I go to school
01:41:37	who are all trying
01:41:38	And, yeah,
01:41:40	Of course.
01:41:42	And you really haven't?
01:41:45	Please don't tell your mom,
01:41:47	Yeah, I won't.
01:41:49	But when are you
01:41:53	Believe me,
01:41:56	I am working on it.
01:42:01	Do you have any weed?
01:42:04	Yeah.
01:42:05	Can spare any
01:42:08	I mean, like what
01:42:10	Just enough to get me
01:42:13	That's a lot of weed.
01:42:14	Yeah, I am taking vacation
01:42:16	Where are you going?
01:42:18	I'll stay in my apartment.
01:42:20	I want to be baked
01:42:21	Watch TV,
01:42:24	Gandhi baked is good.
01:42:26	I always feel bad
01:42:28	'cause I get really hungry
01:42:30	and poor Gandhi is...
01:42:31	fucking starving his ass off.
01:42:33	##[music playing on TV]
01:42:37	Sounds good.
01:42:38	I'm going to take her
01:42:41	Give it a shot.
01:42:42	Freak! Oh, yeah!
01:42:46	Michael McDonald, man,
01:42:49	Yeah, I haven't heard it
01:42:52	If I get the set,
01:42:55	You don't get the set.
01:42:57	I'll take it.
01:42:58	Really?
01:43:01	Y'all want to see
01:43:03	You want to see the most
01:43:07	This is my baby right here.
01:43:11	Looks like a poltergeist.
01:43:13	That is his foot.
01:43:14	Look at his dick.
01:43:17	Extrapolate that.
01:43:18	By the time he's 30,
01:43:21	Yo, Andy! Come check this out,
01:43:23	Is this the movie about babies
01:43:26	No, this is my child, dude.
01:43:28	That's yours?
01:43:30	That's why she broke up
01:43:32	'cause she just thought
01:43:34	in light of the fact that
01:43:36	But she got over all that.
01:43:38	Congratulations, man.
01:43:40	We having
01:43:42	and I really want you
01:43:44	We celebrating and I
01:43:46	It looks like
01:43:49	Can you believe that?
01:43:50	This child
01:43:52	He ain't four months old yet.
01:43:54	Everybody dick looks big
01:43:56	My sister's dick looks big
01:44:00	Oh, my God,
01:44:03	he has bought, like,
01:44:06	Yeah, I think he likes
01:44:09	That is impossible.
01:44:12	Andy, the way these things
01:44:16	you know, I think you
01:44:19	maybe like $100,000.
01:44:21	Really?
01:44:23	Wow.
01:44:24	That's a lot of money.
01:44:27	That's incredible.
01:44:29	Thanks.
01:44:31	And that's not the only
01:44:35	You know what tonight is?
01:44:39	No.
01:44:41	Is it The Apprentice?
01:44:44	No.
01:44:46	What?
01:44:50	It's our 20th date.
01:45:01	Wow.
01:45:02	Really?
01:45:04	Seriously?
01:45:07	'Cause there were
01:45:09	that don't really count
01:45:11	I'll give you a free pass
01:45:15	Thank you.
01:45:16	Listen.
01:45:17	Listen.
01:45:20	I really like you.
01:45:27	I think I'm falling for you.
01:45:30	I don't know. I kind of see
01:45:34	I do, too.
01:45:35	I just think we should just
01:45:40	Okay.
01:45:43	Oh, thank God!
01:45:47	Oh!
01:45:48	Okay, I should...
01:45:51	Don't pick them up now.
01:45:52	No, I have to pick those up
01:45:54	Wait, we'll get them later.
01:45:56	Listen, it's really important
01:45:57	once the integrity of the box
01:46:00	This is original packaging
01:46:02	are so valuable.
01:46:04	You really don't screw
01:46:06	We can wrap them again later,
01:46:09	Yeah, I know.
01:46:10	this is very important
01:46:12	and compromise
01:46:14	Andy, I'm throwing myself
01:46:16	all you can think about
01:46:18	They're not fucking toys!
01:46:21	I got this
01:46:24	Do you know how hard it is
01:46:27	This is important.
01:46:28	These are my things...
01:46:29	and you are trying to make me
01:46:33	No.
01:46:34	I'm not making...
01:46:36	to quit my job.
01:46:38	You want me to open a store.
01:46:41	You know what,
01:46:43	I don't just change like that.
01:46:46	I don't... I'm not trying
01:46:49	I'm just... I'm trying
01:46:52	Well, thanks a lot.
01:46:53	I mean, my God,
01:46:57	You know what, I'm not
01:47:00	I'm a floor manager.
01:47:01	And I ride a bike
01:47:04	He had a wife who he fucked,
01:47:08	What do I have to do
01:47:10	Do you want me to dress up
01:47:13	I'll dress up like Iron Man.
01:47:14	What do they do?
01:47:16	What? Everything's always
01:47:18	Why don't you want
01:47:20	Why not? Tell me.
01:47:22	Is it because I have a kid
01:47:25	No, it's cool that
01:47:26	I love the fact
01:47:28	Oh, God!
01:47:31	Oh, my God!
01:47:32	You are so mean! Get out!
01:47:34	Okay, fine. Good!
01:47:37	I didn't ask for any of this.
01:47:41	Okay. Great.
01:47:44	[Door slamming]
01:47:45	Okay.
01:47:46	That's the way
01:47:48	that's the way
01:47:52	Yeah. Truth be told.
01:48:03	[Car horn blaring]
01:48:08	##[Hip-hop music playing]
01:48:11	Baby, you better
01:48:13	'cause once this baby's born,
01:48:16	till that baby is in college.
01:48:17	Me?
01:48:18	You the club rat. I'm not
01:48:21	I'm not a club rat.
01:48:22	You're gonna get up,
01:48:25	and I want you
01:48:28	Dude, I'm not gonna hit
01:48:30	Yes, you are, man...
01:48:31	'cause your depression
01:48:34	and it's actually making me
01:48:36	which is then in turn
01:48:38	that you're actually
01:48:40	Look,
01:48:43	I'm just... I'm fragile.
01:48:46	I hired her for you.
01:48:48	I hired a 90-pound girl
01:48:51	for you, okay?
01:48:53	I should have hired
01:48:55	who could lift
01:48:56	But instead
01:48:59	who can't lift an iPod
01:49:03	You hired her for me?
01:49:05	So will you go talk to her?
01:49:06	Yeah, I'm meeting somebody.
01:49:08	No.
01:49:13	Did you just flick me
01:49:15	Flicked you
01:49:18	[Groans]
01:49:19	Quit flicking my balls, man.
01:49:21	Okay, I'll stop
01:49:24	But I'll start punching
01:49:27	Oh!
01:49:29	Okay.
01:49:33	Well played, sir.
01:49:35	Okay.
01:49:36	No problem, man.
01:49:39	Mooj, you done
01:49:41	you know his foot gonna be
01:49:43	If that baby looks Pakistani,
01:49:46	I wouldn't mind.
01:49:50	When your son is born,
01:50:01	I need some poon.
01:50:05	You guys were so right,
01:50:08	I need
01:50:13	You know, the thing
01:50:17	make one person go...
01:50:19	[gibbering]
01:50:20	And the other person go,
01:50:22	And then one person goes...
01:50:24	[gibbering]
01:50:25	How much have you had
01:50:27	How much have I had to drink?
01:50:31	What are you
01:50:32	How many times have you gone
01:50:35	Let me ask you that.
01:50:36	You know what, you don't have
01:50:39	Fuck you, man! I'm sorry.
01:50:41	No, you're such a good guy,
01:50:44	What's up, baby, I didn't know
01:50:46	Hey, motherfucker!
01:50:49	[Both laughing]
01:50:51	Man, you know what,
01:50:53	You know what, you were
01:50:58	You were right all along.
01:51:03	with somebody until...
01:51:06	you have sex
01:51:08	That's the long
01:51:10	So, thank you.
01:51:14	And now I have to go hunt
01:51:17	[Laughing]
01:51:20	He going to be all right?
01:51:23	Cal's a good guy.
01:51:25	It's so funny, because,
01:51:27	when I first met him
01:51:30	he told me you were gay.
01:51:33	Cal says that I'm gay because
01:51:36	with his own gayness.
01:51:39	But seriously, I'm going
01:51:43	I was a little reticent
01:51:45	You're very pretty
01:51:48	I dated this woman,
01:51:52	who stomped
01:51:54	And it's just taking me
01:51:57	you know,
01:51:58	Oh, my God. Say no more.
01:52:00	My last boyfriend Sal junior,
01:52:02	I would totally pay people
01:52:05	That's how much I fucking hate
01:52:07	God, you're fucking awesome.
01:52:11	Hey, you!
01:52:15	Hey.
01:52:17	How you doing?
01:52:19	Much better,
01:52:22	Hey, lookie,
01:52:25	Nice.
01:52:28	So, you think we should...
01:52:31	take this party
01:52:34	I am RSVPing "yes. "
01:52:40	Hope you have a big trunk
01:52:46	Yeah, let's go!
01:52:53	Mom, I left my phone somewhere
01:52:56	Thank you.
01:52:59	What's the matter?
01:53:02	We had a big fight, just...
01:53:06	He just
01:53:08	What happened?
01:53:09	Well, I just...
01:53:12	I don't hate him. I mean,
01:53:15	you know, he's a big dork...
01:53:18	and I like seeing you happy.
01:53:22	I do.
01:53:25	That's sweet,
01:53:28	Why don't you just go
01:53:31	'Cause if the thing is
01:53:35	Let me dance for you.
01:53:37	##[music playing on stereo]
01:53:39	Look at your bra and
01:53:43	Wow! You know what?
01:53:47	I'm smoking hot.
01:53:49	You know what? I'm just going
01:53:52	Yes! Let's have sex.
01:53:54	It's going to happen.
01:53:56	That's totally what's going
01:53:59	We could do it in the...
01:54:02	Butt, if you want to.
01:54:04	[Both laughing]
01:54:05	But, if I want to what?
01:54:08	Butt.
01:54:11	Do it.
01:54:13	What?
01:54:15	I don't know
01:54:18	Butt.
01:54:20	What?
01:54:24	But, it still feels so right.
01:54:35	##[Scatting]
01:54:39	Yeah!
01:54:42	[Gasping]
01:54:43	Yeah. Right! Okay. Yeah.
01:54:48	That was a fun day.
01:54:51	You are so kinky.
01:54:55	Yeah, I'm so kinky.
01:54:58	That's why I did this
01:55:01	You like to shave, don't you?
01:55:03	Let's shave each other.
01:55:06	You know where to shave me.
01:55:08	Yeah.
01:55:10	I want to shave your head.
01:55:13	I wanna give you
01:55:16	Let's get in the bath.
01:55:18	In the bath?
01:55:20	Yes. We're gonna get dirty.
01:55:24	It's just about time
01:55:26	Yeah.
01:55:30	Hey. Hi, it's me,
01:55:35	I want to do whatever
01:55:38	Fifty dates. 100.
01:55:42	I'm gonna see you soon,
01:55:46	[Laughing]
01:55:49	Wow. Okay, well,
01:55:53	[Groans]
01:55:54	Wow! Holy shit!
01:55:57	Wow. This is just
01:56:01	Yeah, yeah, yeah! Wow!
01:56:04	Come to mama.
01:56:07	I'm gonna really take care
01:56:10	You're never
01:56:23	I just want to please you.
01:56:26	What do you like?
01:56:28	I don't know.
01:56:32	Can I show you what I like?
01:56:34	Okay.
01:56:49	(Beth)
01:56:53	I wanna introduce you
01:56:59	Your friend is so shiny.
01:57:02	This guy knows exactly
01:57:11	Where's you friend going?
01:57:14	This is how I'm gonna
01:57:18	That's always good to warm up.
01:57:22	[Moaning]
01:57:34	[Exclaims]
01:57:40	Wow, this is graphic.
01:57:44	[Laughing]
01:57:56	I can't do it.
01:57:59	God, what are you
01:58:02	We came here because we were
01:58:04	and now I could not give
01:58:07	How did you even know
01:58:09	I hit it
01:58:12	Never gave her back the key,
01:58:14	where this is going,
01:58:17	(Beth)
01:58:21	You think?
01:58:22	We've been talking,
01:58:25	if you love Trish,
01:58:27	Look, you guys,
01:58:30	I don't even know who I am.
01:58:33	that woman
01:58:37	and I just wanna go home,
01:58:39	Let's go.
01:58:41	Okay.
01:58:43	It wasn't that good
01:58:45	We should totally
01:58:47	We should run away
01:58:52	[Beth moaning]
01:58:55	Hey.
01:58:56	[Beth laughing]
01:58:58	Cal.
01:59:01	[Car horns blaring]
01:59:02	Go around!
01:59:04	Come on,
01:59:09	Can't you hear me?
01:59:19	Hey, there. Hi, Trish.
01:59:23	Man, I'm really sorry
01:59:26	What's this?
01:59:28	Those are David's.
01:59:32	I think he has a problem.
01:59:34	These are David's?
01:59:37	David's Boner Jams '03?
01:59:41	Yeah, it's so sad.
01:59:43	He compiled all the best
01:59:47	This isn't what it looks like,
01:59:50	What does this look like?
01:59:54	And what do you do
01:59:56	To learn.
01:59:59	Ugh.
02:00:00	Hey, I'm sorry. God...
02:00:03	This your date drug?
02:00:06	It's a Mentos.
02:00:08	They're "The Freshmaker. "
02:00:10	Yeah, right.
02:00:12	What are you,
02:00:14	Are you a deviant
02:00:16	No, I'm not a sexual deviant!
02:00:18	I haven't even tried
02:00:21	What are you trying to do?
02:00:24	Come on.
02:00:25	You're not gonna try
02:00:27	Look, Trish.
02:00:30	I'm not trying to kill you.
02:00:34	I love you.
02:00:36	Trish.
02:00:39	##[Heat Of The Moment playing]
02:00:46	Trish. No!
02:00:49	No. Trish, stop.
02:00:56	Come on, Trish!
02:01:01	I need to talk to you!
02:01:03	No!
02:01:06	Damn it.
02:01:33	[Exclaiming]
02:01:37	[Groans]
02:01:39	Oh, my God!
02:01:41	[Car horn blaring]
02:01:43	Andy! Oh, my God!
02:01:46	Call 911.
02:01:48	Oh, my... Andy.
02:01:51	Oh, my God!
02:01:52	I'm gonna need a minute.
02:01:55	Oh, my God.
02:01:57	Not bad.
02:01:58	There were two sides
02:02:01	And they both hurt equally.
02:02:03	Andy. Andy.
02:02:06	[Exhaling]
02:02:08	Are you okay?
02:02:10	No, I'm not okay.
02:02:13	I'm a virgin.
02:02:17	A what?
02:02:19	I'm a virgin.
02:02:23	Andy, is that what
02:02:27	I'm sorry.
02:02:28	You're just a virgin,
02:02:31	Yeah.
02:02:35	I feel stupid.
02:02:39	It's okay. I thought
02:02:43	No.
02:02:45	Oh, my God.
02:02:47	No, I'm not trying
02:02:54	That's why I never tried
02:02:57	I was scared, okay?
02:03:00	'Cause I didn't know
02:03:02	I just didn't think
02:03:04	Of course it'll be good.
02:03:09	Really?
02:03:11	I love you.
02:03:14	Yeah.
02:03:18	[Car horn honking]
02:03:20	Get the fuck out of the road,
02:03:24	Shut up, you fucking jerk!
02:03:26	No, that's okay.
02:03:31	You know what...
02:03:32	for so long I thought
02:03:35	because it had
02:03:40	I realize now that it was
02:04:09	This was some wedding.
02:04:12	Dude sells his toys and makes
02:04:15	It's crazy, right?
02:04:17	We're gonna get
02:04:19	We are all so happy for you.
02:04:22	I am delighted
02:04:25	Andy...
02:04:27	you may kiss the bride.
02:04:33	[People exclaiming]
02:04:40	[Cheering]
02:04:42	And for God's sake,
02:04:50	No! Stop it.
02:04:57	[Exclaims]
02:05:00	I'm not gonna be done
02:05:02	for about a half an hour,
02:05:04	you can come in and sit down
02:05:07	or wait in the lobby.
02:05:09	It's up to you.
02:05:14	##[Humming]
02:05:18	Dude,
02:05:31	Ready?
02:05:39	Yes.
02:05:43	[Moans]
02:05:47	Whoa.
02:05:48	You're officially
02:05:51	Cool.
02:06:01	Wow.
02:06:09	Wanna do it again?
02:06:12	Yeah.
02:06:14	Sure.
02:06:16	That was good. That was okay.
02:06:21	Okay.
02:06:22	You ready?
02:06:23	Are you ready?
02:06:35	[Panting]
02:06:39	So, how was that for you?
02:06:46	# When the moon #
02:06:48	# Is in the Seventh House #
02:06:52	# And Jupiter
02:06:57	# Then peace will guide
02:07:03	# And love
02:07:06	# This is the dawning
02:07:11	# Age of Aquarius #
02:07:16	# Aquarius #
02:07:21	# Aquarius #
02:07:26	# Harmony and understanding #
02:07:28	# Sympathy and trust
02:07:31	# No more falsehoods
02:07:33	# Golden living dreams
02:07:36	# Mystic crystal revelations #
02:07:38	# And the mind's true
02:07:41	# Aquarius #
02:07:46	# Aquarius #
02:07:51	# When the moon is
02:07:56	# And Jupiter
02:08:02	# Then peace will guide
02:08:07	# And love
02:08:10	# This is the dawning
02:08:15	# The age of Aquarius #
02:08:20	# Aquarius #
02:08:25	# Aquarius #
02:08:27	# It's Aquarius, baby #
02:08:29	# We ain't talking about
02:08:32	# We ain't talking about no #
02:08:33	# No, we ain't talking
02:08:40	# Aquarius #
02:08:43	# Aquarius #
02:08:48	# Aquarius ##
02:08:56	# Let the sunshine #
02:09:00	# Let the sunshine in #
02:09:03	# The sunshine in #
02:09:08	# Let the sunshine #
02:09:12	# Let the sunshine in #
02:09:15	# The sunshine in #
02:09:20	# Let the sunshine #
02:09:23	# Let the sunshine in #
02:09:27	# The sunshine in #
02:09:31	# Let the sunshine #
02:09:35	# Let it shine #
02:09:37	# Let it shine, yeah #
02:09:39	# The sunshine in #
02:09:43	# Let the sunshine #
02:09:47	# Let the sunshine in #
02:09:50	# The sunshine in ##
02:10:25	##[Just Got Lucky playing]
02:10:37	Ripped by:

40 Year Old Virgin The