|
Confessions of a Dangerous Mind
|
| 00:00:13 |
I wouldn't want |
| 00:00:15 |
'cause he hasn't been happy |
| 00:00:17 |
All I think is, if you can |
| 00:00:20 |
find somebody to share it with, |
| 00:00:23 |
He's had some of the pieces |
| 00:00:25 |
but not all of them. |
| 00:00:27 |
I, Ronald Reagan, |
| 00:00:32 |
That I will faithfully |
| 00:00:34 |
of President of |
| 00:00:37 |
That I will faithfully |
| 00:00:46 |
When you're young. |
| 00:00:51 |
You might |
| 00:00:54 |
You might be Einstein... |
| 00:00:56 |
you might be DiMaggio. |
| 00:01:00 |
Then you get to an age |
| 00:01:03 |
gives way |
| 00:01:05 |
You weren't Einstein. |
| 00:01:07 |
You wenren't anything. |
| 00:01:10 |
That's a bad moment. |
| 00:01:31 |
Chuck, it's Pen. |
| 00:01:35 |
Hey: Jesus. |
| 00:01:39 |
You wrote me your last letter |
| 00:01:41 |
Oh. It's great |
| 00:01:46 |
You look... you look beautiful. |
| 00:01:48 |
This place is scary. |
| 00:01:50 |
Yeah. The human psyche. |
| 00:01:55 |
I came to take you back |
| 00:01:58 |
Uh, no... |
| 00:01:59 |
It's a lonely state |
| 00:02:02 |
I'm home, Red. |
| 00:02:11 |
I can't wait forever |
| 00:02:16 |
Well, apparently, I can, |
| 00:02:24 |
Uh... |
| 00:02:28 |
I love you so much. |
| 00:02:35 |
You don't undenstand. |
| 00:02:39 |
I don't even know why. |
| 00:02:41 |
Oh, Penny... |
| 00:02:43 |
Penny, Penny, Penny. |
| 00:03:03 |
Listen. I gotta go. OK? |
| 00:03:09 |
It was 1981... |
| 00:03:11 |
and I had holed myself up |
| 00:03:15 |
the Phoenix Hotel... |
| 00:03:17 |
terrified of everything. |
| 00:03:24 |
Until. Finally. |
| 00:03:27 |
might be in reconding |
| 00:03:32 |
Maybe it would senre |
| 00:03:35 |
and maybe it would help me |
| 00:03:39 |
When I was 11. |
| 00:03:42 |
with my sister's friend |
| 00:03:45 |
that left |
| 00:03:46 |
- Hey. |
| 00:03:48 |
- Tuvia. |
| 00:03:50 |
You want to lick it? |
| 00:03:52 |
No. Why should I? |
| 00:03:55 |
Well, for one thing, |
| 00:03:57 |
My sister tells me |
| 00:03:59 |
Yeah, well, |
| 00:04:02 |
No, I'm serious. |
| 00:04:03 |
It tastes exactly like |
| 00:04:05 |
Look, |
| 00:04:06 |
- Well, I bet you it does. |
| 00:04:09 |
I'll bet you a dollar. |
| 00:04:14 |
Tuvia... my first love. |
| 00:04:18 |
Perhaps my whole life |
| 00:04:21 |
The repulsiveness |
| 00:04:23 |
by the taste buds |
| 00:04:27 |
What are you doing? |
| 00:04:29 |
Get off me. |
| 00:04:30 |
And so I found myself... |
| 00:04:32 |
in a downwand spinal |
| 00:04:34 |
endlessly clasing pussy. |
| 00:04:40 |
My only focus in life |
| 00:04:43 |
trying to fool myself |
| 00:04:45 |
that given |
| 00:04:46 |
of circumstances |
| 00:04:48 |
maybe the Tuvias |
| 00:04:50 |
could desire me |
| 00:04:54 |
I only wanted to be loved. |
| 00:05:02 |
No... |
| 00:05:04 |
# Won't you tell me why # |
| 00:05:07 |
# I love # |
| 00:05:11 |
# That girl so # |
| 00:05:14 |
# She doesn't want me # |
| 00:05:18 |
The constant |
| 00:05:20 |
led to bar fight |
| 00:05:31 |
New York |
| 00:05:33 |
the only state |
| 00:05:35 |
from the Atlantic Ocean |
| 00:05:37 |
Directly across the avenue is... |
| 00:05:40 |
I had heard |
| 00:05:41 |
was an industry |
| 00:05:43 |
so I packed up and moved |
| 00:05:48 |
We began making |
| 00:05:51 |
and in 1953... |
| 00:05:53 |
NBC made the first ever |
| 00:05:56 |
during |
| 00:05:58 |
Now we'll have a look |
| 00:05:59 |
where they produce |
| 00:06:01 |
which NBC began |
| 00:06:05 |
Excuse me, miss. |
| 00:06:06 |
Do you know where I could apply |
| 00:06:08 |
Such as |
| 00:06:10 |
which you can tune into |
| 00:06:13 |
"The Nat King Cole Show"... |
| 00:06:15 |
which you won't want to miss, |
| 00:06:18 |
And hold on one second. |
| 00:06:21 |
OK. |
| 00:06:24 |
"The Lux Show" |
| 00:06:27 |
.. Which you can enjoy |
| 00:06:29 |
And of course, |
| 00:06:30 |
which delights us |
| 00:06:32 |
You may also be interested |
| 00:06:34 |
actually got his start in |
| 00:06:37 |
Ladies and gentlemen, |
| 00:06:39 |
Raymond... in accounting? |
| 00:06:40 |
He's kind of cute, huh? |
| 00:06:42 |
Cute is all |
| 00:06:44 |
but what you want is a man |
| 00:06:48 |
A go-getter on |
| 00:06:51 |
What about Mr. Waters? |
| 00:06:53 |
Yeah, management |
| 00:06:56 |
How many people have applied |
| 00:06:58 |
Let's see. |
| 00:07:02 |
- For how many positions? |
| 00:07:09 |
Thanks, ma'am. |
| 00:07:16 |
Sometimes. |
| 00:07:18 |
I stretched the truth |
| 00:07:20 |
Tell me again: |
| 00:07:22 |
Head of |
| 00:07:23 |
Head of |
| 00:07:25 |
I love you, |
| 00:07:28 |
management trainee. |
| 00:07:34 |
Life was sweet... |
| 00:07:36 |
Uhh: |
| 00:07:40 |
For a minute. |
| 00:07:42 |
Everything's |
| 00:07:44 |
on madly interesting. |
| 00:07:47 |
I hope Sally never |
| 00:07:58 |
I got fired today. |
| 00:08:00 |
Fired? |
| 00:08:02 |
Yeah, fired. |
| 00:08:05 |
Fired? |
| 00:08:09 |
What the fuck |
| 00:08:11 |
I don't know. |
| 00:08:13 |
Some bullshit. |
| 00:08:19 |
I'm pregnant. |
| 00:08:26 |
So, I figured, |
| 00:08:30 |
I intend to be important, |
| 00:08:32 |
I can't be saddled with this. |
| 00:08:35 |
But then I remembered |
| 00:08:39 |
"Do the duty |
| 00:08:44 |
So you see... |
| 00:08:45 |
Who's Carlyle? |
| 00:08:49 |
Dear God. |
| 00:08:53 |
Fuck you, |
| 00:08:58 |
Pregnant? |
| 00:09:00 |
Yeah, pregnant. |
| 00:09:02 |
Fuck you. |
| 00:09:04 |
What the fuck |
| 00:09:06 |
Fuck you. |
| 00:09:07 |
What do you mean, what the fuck |
| 00:09:09 |
You got me fucking pregnant, |
| 00:09:12 |
Well, fuck you. |
| 00:09:13 |
Fuck you. |
| 00:09:14 |
- Fuckin'... |
| 00:09:16 |
Fuck. |
| 00:09:17 |
Fuck you. |
| 00:09:27 |
Looks like |
| 00:09:36 |
Oh, yes, we had a great time. |
| 00:09:38 |
The crew loved him |
| 00:09:41 |
Because it was crazy. |
| 00:09:43 |
And we could do anything |
| 00:09:46 |
and, uh, yeah, |
| 00:09:49 |
He was a good guy. |
| 00:09:50 |
Even though he's a prick, |
| 00:09:53 |
What is |
| 00:09:55 |
Wouldn't school be wonderful |
| 00:09:58 |
You read it. All night? |
| 00:10:00 |
Principal Sal Mineo. |
| 00:10:03 |
Couldn't you see |
| 00:10:04 |
where Sal Mineo |
| 00:10:07 |
In '61 I had become |
| 00:10:10 |
It was during |
| 00:10:12 |
so my job was to commute |
| 00:10:14 |
to the "American Bandstand" |
| 00:10:17 |
to keep an eye on Dick Clark. |
| 00:10:18 |
One more lady's choice |
| 00:10:20 |
and suppose we make it |
| 00:10:23 |
On weekends... |
| 00:10:24 |
I used to hang around |
| 00:10:26 |
because that's where |
| 00:10:29 |
I wrote a song |
| 00:10:33 |
# When you stop at the top |
| 00:10:34 |
I got it to |
| 00:10:37 |
through my friendship |
| 00:10:39 |
Dick really wanted |
| 00:10:42 |
Hi. |
| 00:10:43 |
- What? |
| 00:10:45 |
Oh. |
| 00:10:46 |
I wrote this song. |
| 00:10:48 |
Huh. |
| 00:10:50 |
It's number three |
| 00:10:54 |
- Uh-huh. |
| 00:10:58 |
I believe there's |
| 00:11:01 |
Uh-huh? |
| 00:11:02 |
So I'm gonna take my royalties |
| 00:11:05 |
A pilot's what they call |
| 00:11:08 |
I work in TV. |
| 00:11:10 |
Yeah? What's your name? |
| 00:11:12 |
- Debbie. |
| 00:11:14 |
So. You live in Philly? |
| 00:11:15 |
No. I live in Manhattan. |
| 00:11:17 |
It's gonna be a game show. |
| 00:11:18 |
I believe there's |
| 00:11:20 |
Oh. That's good. |
| 00:11:21 |
Yeah. Everyone |
| 00:11:25 |
I don't know. |
| 00:11:26 |
Well. They do. |
| 00:11:28 |
Well, that's great then. |
| 00:11:29 |
Ha la la. |
| 00:11:44 |
Hello. |
| 00:11:46 |
Hi. |
| 00:11:50 |
Uh... don't be alarmed. |
| 00:11:53 |
Yeah, I figured that. |
| 00:11:56 |
Um, no, thanks. |
| 00:11:58 |
Thirsty? |
| 00:11:59 |
Sure, if you have a beer or... |
| 00:12:10 |
How was sex with Debbie? |
| 00:12:13 |
It was good. Fine. |
| 00:12:16 |
No problem. |
| 00:12:18 |
I just got fucked |
| 00:12:21 |
a real righteous Negro hipster. |
| 00:12:23 |
Heh. Interesting. |
| 00:12:24 |
I'm into |
| 00:12:26 |
I fucked an Oriental last week. |
| 00:12:28 |
- What are you? |
| 00:12:31 |
I had one of those once, |
| 00:12:33 |
You look Ashke-nazi. |
| 00:12:35 |
- Ashkenazi. |
| 00:12:37 |
I haven't had one of those yet. |
| 00:12:40 |
You're romantic. |
| 00:12:42 |
Yeah. I just don't get |
| 00:12:44 |
between cats and chicks. |
| 00:12:46 |
- I know what you mean. |
| 00:12:48 |
Besides, you just give |
| 00:12:50 |
and you get hurt. |
| 00:12:51 |
Don't I know it? |
| 00:12:57 |
We could ball if you want. |
| 00:13:02 |
Whoa-ho-ho. |
| 00:13:04 |
That would be good. |
| 00:13:06 |
Yeah, but... ha ha ha: |
| 00:13:09 |
I'm here with Debbie. |
| 00:13:18 |
That's true. |
| 00:13:22 |
Well, I'm going to bed. |
| 00:13:25 |
Hey, what's your name? |
| 00:13:28 |
I'm Penny. |
| 00:13:30 |
I'm Chuck. |
| 00:13:32 |
- Chuck Barris. |
| 00:13:34 |
Yeah, you wrote |
| 00:13:35 |
- I really like that song. |
| 00:13:38 |
Yeah, it's real sentimental |
| 00:13:39 |
Oh, right. |
| 00:13:47 |
# Last night |
| 00:13:50 |
# A swingin' place |
| 00:13:53 |
# To have somme fun |
| 00:13:56 |
# That's where |
| 00:13:58 |
# I took a nide |
| 00:14:01 |
# That girl I sat beside |
| 00:14:04 |
# Aften it stopped. |
| 00:14:08 |
# My heart was flyin' up # |
| 00:14:10 |
# Like a rocket slip # |
| 00:14:12 |
# Down. Like a roller coaster # |
| 00:14:14 |
# Back. Like a loop-the-loop # |
| 00:14:17 |
# And around. |
| 00:14:20 |
# We ate and ate |
| 00:14:23 |
# We danced around |
| 00:14:26 |
# And when I could. |
| 00:14:29 |
# In the Tunnel of Love # |
| 00:14:31 |
# You'll never know |
| 00:14:33 |
# When you stop at the top |
| 00:14:36 |
# When I fell in love # |
| 00:14:38 |
# Down at Palisades Park # |
| 00:14:41 |
# Whoa-oh-oh-oh # |
| 00:14:50 |
Last night |
| 00:14:52 |
this ape and I are sitting |
| 00:14:55 |
and it was like |
| 00:14:57 |
And then he started talking... |
| 00:14:59 |
but in a language |
| 00:15:01 |
Swiss, maybe. |
| 00:15:04 |
And then he turned into |
| 00:15:09 |
- What's wrong with you? |
| 00:15:11 |
You know, |
| 00:15:13 |
doesn't mean |
| 00:15:14 |
OK. |
| 00:15:15 |
I just wanted |
| 00:15:17 |
Nothing more complicated |
| 00:15:20 |
I'm just not used to |
| 00:15:23 |
Now we're a couple. |
| 00:15:24 |
Now I'm obliged to give |
| 00:15:26 |
Don't worry. |
| 00:15:29 |
So anyway. The monkey |
| 00:15:32 |
and I say... |
| 00:15:33 |
- Holy fuck. |
| 00:15:35 |
Holy, holy fuck. |
| 00:15:37 |
You just gave me an idea |
| 00:15:40 |
A show about monkeys? |
| 00:15:42 |
No, about people. |
| 00:15:44 |
About sex, about romance... |
| 00:15:46 |
about the bullshit of dating. |
| 00:15:49 |
I call it "The Dating Game"... |
| 00:15:52 |
and that's what it's about, |
| 00:15:55 |
A pretty girl |
| 00:15:58 |
who she can't see... |
| 00:16:00 |
and based on their answers... |
| 00:16:02 |
she picks one to date, |
| 00:16:06 |
That's it. |
| 00:16:13 |
Aah. Aah. Aah. |
| 00:16:16 |
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. |
| 00:16:18 |
- Hot damn. |
| 00:16:20 |
- They bought it. |
| 00:16:22 |
They bought it. |
| 00:16:23 |
They're giving me 7,500 |
| 00:16:27 |
We gotta go celebrate. |
| 00:16:29 |
I can't. I got a date. |
| 00:16:30 |
OK, cool. |
| 00:16:32 |
- OK. |
| 00:17:24 |
I figured I was in. |
| 00:17:26 |
All I had to do |
| 00:17:29 |
and I'd be a millionaire. |
| 00:17:31 |
Everyone would love me. |
| 00:17:34 |
Was anyone even so young? |
| 00:17:38 |
- No. |
| 00:17:40 |
- No. |
| 00:17:43 |
ABC didn't like |
| 00:17:46 |
They did like a show |
| 00:17:48 |
Whoa, whoa, whoa. |
| 00:17:50 |
Well, he led |
| 00:17:53 |
Hooten-fuckin'- nanny. |
| 00:17:59 |
What do they know? |
| 00:18:00 |
That's long for a dog. |
| 00:18:04 |
I don't know. |
| 00:18:12 |
Uh-huh. |
| 00:18:15 |
It's nine years |
| 00:18:18 |
Ha ha ha. |
| 00:18:24 |
Yeah. |
| 00:18:28 |
Uh-huh. |
| 00:18:30 |
I'm sorry about your show. |
| 00:18:32 |
What? |
| 00:18:36 |
Jesus, Phoebe, that's... |
| 00:18:38 |
Yeah. No, I'll hold on. |
| 00:18:40 |
- Is that your mom? |
| 00:18:42 |
Come here. Oh, yeah. |
| 00:18:46 |
Listen, Pen, I'm not... |
| 00:18:47 |
I want to tell you something. |
| 00:18:49 |
- A what? |
| 00:18:51 |
And she said that you are |
| 00:18:54 |
- Oh, really? |
| 00:18:57 |
- Tarot cards? |
| 00:19:00 |
Say that again, Phoebe. |
| 00:19:03 |
Tuvia? No, why would I |
| 00:19:07 |
- She did? |
| 00:19:11 |
- To Manhattan? |
| 00:19:15 |
Yeah. |
| 00:19:19 |
Uh-huh. |
| 00:19:23 |
Oh, your niece. |
| 00:19:24 |
Divorced? Really? |
| 00:19:27 |
I didn't know she got married. |
| 00:19:30 |
Yes? |
| 00:19:33 |
Hi, Tuvia. |
| 00:19:38 |
Well, if it isn't |
| 00:19:41 |
- What do you want? |
| 00:19:44 |
I'm back in town for a while, |
| 00:19:47 |
Jesus, |
| 00:19:48 |
We could go out |
| 00:19:49 |
He's so convincing |
| 00:19:52 |
when he's talkin' with you... |
| 00:19:53 |
he could convince you |
| 00:19:55 |
He's one of |
| 00:19:57 |
I'd like to have on my side |
| 00:20:01 |
You wanna fight, |
| 00:20:15 |
You're a pretty angry |
| 00:20:17 |
Can't fight worth a damn, |
| 00:20:19 |
Hey. Screw off. Queen. |
| 00:20:21 |
Don't think I haven't seen you |
| 00:20:22 |
in that bar for a week now. |
| 00:20:24 |
Kind of a loner, I'd say. |
| 00:20:26 |
Fairly bright, |
| 00:20:28 |
Mad at the world. |
| 00:20:31 |
Look, there's |
| 00:20:34 |
Why don't you go trollin' there? |
| 00:20:37 |
I can teach you |
| 00:20:39 |
to kill a man with |
| 00:20:41 |
It might help |
| 00:20:43 |
Just a thought. |
| 00:20:46 |
Oh, and there's money in it... |
| 00:20:50 |
I figure |
| 00:20:52 |
until I come up with |
| 00:20:54 |
then all would be copacetic. |
| 00:20:56 |
That sounds great, Chuck. |
| 00:20:59 |
I've never known |
| 00:21:01 |
I'm impressed. |
| 00:21:02 |
Yeah. OK. |
| 00:21:04 |
What's this money and a deal |
| 00:21:07 |
I work |
| 00:21:09 |
We're always looking for good, |
| 00:21:12 |
to help us carry out |
| 00:21:20 |
What kind of work? |
| 00:21:24 |
Problem-solving work. |
| 00:21:27 |
The Office |
| 00:21:29 |
Office of what? |
| 00:21:32 |
Is that the fuckin' CIA |
| 00:21:34 |
Ha ha ha ha ha. |
| 00:21:37 |
Please be discreet, |
| 00:21:52 |
Jesus. |
| 00:21:53 |
Is this the fuckin' CIA? |
| 00:21:57 |
Yeah. Hell, I'll be a spy. |
| 00:21:59 |
Where do I sign up? |
| 00:22:01 |
You're fuckin' with me, |
| 00:22:02 |
Hardly. |
| 00:22:04 |
And you wouldn't be working |
| 00:22:06 |
You'd be an independent |
| 00:22:09 |
Independent. |
| 00:22:10 |
No official tie to any agency. |
| 00:22:13 |
Understand? |
| 00:22:18 |
Why me? |
| 00:22:21 |
Well, as you know, |
| 00:22:23 |
For quite some time, actually. |
| 00:22:25 |
I've only let you know about it |
| 00:22:27 |
I'm happy to report |
| 00:22:32 |
Are you interested in the work? |
| 00:22:37 |
What's the profile? |
| 00:22:38 |
Are you interested |
| 00:22:42 |
Yeah, sure. |
| 00:22:45 |
A contract agent, whatever. |
| 00:22:46 |
Get to fuck beautiful |
| 00:22:49 |
What we do is very serious, |
| 00:22:51 |
It's essential in quelling |
| 00:22:54 |
and allowing democracy |
| 00:22:56 |
around the globe. |
| 00:22:58 |
You understand? |
| 00:23:02 |
Uh... sure. |
| 00:23:04 |
Yeah, uh... |
| 00:23:05 |
Yeah, OK. That's good. |
| 00:23:22 |
There are |
| 00:23:25 |
for killing a man... |
| 00:23:27 |
were you to find yourself |
| 00:23:29 |
The edge of your hand... |
| 00:23:32 |
against your adversary's |
| 00:23:34 |
This will crush his windpipe... |
| 00:23:37 |
causing strangulation... |
| 00:23:39 |
and death. |
| 00:23:43 |
Hyuhh. |
| 00:23:46 |
Shit. |
| 00:23:49 |
I need another volunteer. |
| 00:23:53 |
You're training me |
| 00:23:56 |
See, Chuck? |
| 00:23:58 |
I'm not killin' people. |
| 00:24:01 |
You're 32 years old, |
| 00:24:04 |
Jesus Christ was dead |
| 00:24:07 |
You better get crackin'. |
| 00:24:08 |
- I have ideas for shows. |
| 00:24:10 |
Why don't you spend another |
| 00:24:13 |
while you're staring |
| 00:24:14 |
waiting for |
| 00:24:17 |
How do you know all this? |
| 00:24:18 |
I know everything |
| 00:24:20 |
I know which hand |
| 00:24:22 |
Left. Leave in the morning, |
| 00:24:26 |
I'm here to tell you, this is |
| 00:24:29 |
You're making |
| 00:24:30 |
and your country |
| 00:24:34 |
It'll toughen you up. |
| 00:24:36 |
Wait a second: |
| 00:24:38 |
Hey, we gotta talk about this. |
| 00:24:41 |
And there it was... |
| 00:24:45 |
I wasn't just gonna work |
| 00:24:47 |
I was gonna kill for them. |
| 00:24:52 |
Call it patriotism. |
| 00:25:33 |
Glycerine is, of course... |
| 00:25:35 |
the best known nitrating agent. |
| 00:25:38 |
Keep in mind, though, |
| 00:25:43 |
is extremely unstable. |
| 00:25:47 |
A slight tap... |
| 00:25:49 |
a one-degree change |
| 00:25:53 |
and it'll blow up |
| 00:25:59 |
So, let's mix us up a batch: |
| 00:26:01 |
Everybody take |
| 00:26:04 |
and fill it up |
| 00:26:06 |
with red-hot |
| 00:26:09 |
98% concentration. |
| 00:26:15 |
The field phone... |
| 00:26:16 |
used as an instrument |
| 00:26:19 |
or torture. |
| 00:26:25 |
Attaching firmly |
| 00:26:31 |
Hey, Ivan. |
| 00:26:33 |
Are you now, |
| 00:26:35 |
a member |
| 00:26:36 |
What's your Aunt Tillie's |
| 00:26:51 |
All right, Jack. |
| 00:26:53 |
Take care, Lee. |
| 00:27:19 |
I know a lot about him |
| 00:27:21 |
I can't tell you. |
| 00:27:23 |
Yeah. |
| 00:27:24 |
I know some things about him |
| 00:27:29 |
and, um... |
| 00:27:30 |
and you wouldn't want |
| 00:27:46 |
So. Wlat did |
| 00:27:48 |
It's your job |
| 00:27:50 |
not question their validity. |
| 00:27:51 |
Uh... oh. |
| 00:27:55 |
No hablo inglés. |
| 00:27:56 |
Ra-blah-blah |
| 00:27:59 |
Ra-blah-blah |
| 00:28:02 |
Hermano, help me, please. |
| 00:28:04 |
- Señor. No habla inglés. |
| 00:28:07 |
Can I be of some assistance? |
| 00:28:08 |
He's a bad guy. |
| 00:28:09 |
He's one of the bad guys. |
| 00:28:13 |
Bad for the U.S., right, Jim? |
| 00:28:14 |
Not bad in an absolute sense, |
| 00:28:17 |
Don't fuckin' dance with me. |
| 00:28:19 |
Renda's bad for |
| 00:28:21 |
He's bad for me personally. |
| 00:28:22 |
You work for me. |
| 00:28:25 |
You'ne now officially |
| 00:28:27 |
of the United States |
| 00:28:29 |
There's no backing out now. |
| 00:28:32 |
You don't play, |
| 00:28:33 |
Understand that? |
| 00:28:41 |
I like you. I do. |
| 00:28:43 |
And you'ne gonna do fine |
| 00:28:44 |
and we're gonna becmme |
| 00:28:52 |
You can have |
| 00:28:54 |
but you have to grow up. |
| 00:29:37 |
Beautiful country, |
| 00:29:40 |
Yeah. |
| 00:29:42 |
You did us proud today, Chuck. |
| 00:29:46 |
Renda was a bad guy. |
| 00:29:58 |
Chuck, is that you? |
| 00:30:00 |
Jesus Christ, Pen: |
| 00:30:03 |
- Were you throwing up? |
| 00:30:04 |
I've been crashing here |
| 00:30:05 |
I've been waiting for you. |
| 00:30:07 |
Mexico. I was just |
| 00:30:09 |
You didn't drink the water, |
| 00:30:11 |
- Yeah. |
| 00:30:14 |
That's Montessori's revenge. |
| 00:30:15 |
- Montezuma's. |
| 00:30:16 |
You can't even open your eyes |
| 00:30:18 |
when you take a shower there. |
| 00:30:20 |
Why is our water so good, |
| 00:30:22 |
- It's in the same ocean. |
| 00:30:25 |
- Oh. |
| 00:30:28 |
Um... I'm a hippie now. |
| 00:30:33 |
Wow. Great. |
| 00:30:34 |
I've been to San Fnancisco. |
| 00:30:37 |
Everybody loves everybody... |
| 00:30:39 |
and there's so many colors. |
| 00:30:40 |
And we're gonna change |
| 00:30:44 |
Will you come back there |
| 00:30:46 |
Ha ha. Well, not that old. |
| 00:30:49 |
Penny, I'm a little |
| 00:30:51 |
Oh, wait, wait. |
| 00:31:13 |
# Sunshine came softly # |
| 00:31:16 |
# Through my window today... # |
| 00:31:18 |
Penny, |
| 00:31:22 |
Some guy called... Gold bird. |
| 00:31:25 |
Gold bird. Larry Goldberg? |
| 00:31:27 |
You're kidding me. |
| 00:31:30 |
Hi. This is Chuck Barris |
| 00:31:34 |
- Hi, Chuck. |
| 00:31:36 |
I'm so sorry I didn't |
| 00:31:38 |
I was out of town. |
| 00:31:40 |
Good for you. |
| 00:31:41 |
Listen, I'm sitting here |
| 00:31:43 |
and I have a hole |
| 00:31:45 |
I think it might be right |
| 00:31:48 |
My baby, Mr. Goldberg? |
| 00:31:49 |
Chuck, "Dating Game". |
| 00:31:52 |
- Yes, sir, it is. |
| 00:31:54 |
Yes, sir. |
| 00:31:56 |
I've got six weeks |
| 00:31:58 |
Is that doable |
| 00:32:00 |
My people? Six weeks? |
| 00:32:04 |
Give me a call when |
| 00:32:08 |
Oh, goddamn. |
| 00:32:11 |
Hot dog. |
| 00:32:15 |
Who's Larry Goldberg? |
| 00:32:23 |
Bachelor number one... |
| 00:32:25 |
what would |
| 00:32:28 |
I'm very romantic... |
| 00:32:30 |
and I'd send you |
| 00:32:32 |
Aw. That's so sweet. |
| 00:32:34 |
Bachelor number three. What |
| 00:32:39 |
My big cock. |
| 00:32:48 |
Bachelor number one... |
| 00:32:50 |
what nationality are you? |
| 00:32:52 |
Umm... my daddy is Welsh... |
| 00:32:55 |
my mamma's Hungarian... |
| 00:32:57 |
so I guess |
| 00:33:03 |
Bachelor number two... |
| 00:33:06 |
I play the trombone. |
| 00:33:07 |
If I blew you, |
| 00:33:11 |
What would I sound like? |
| 00:33:14 |
All right. Ooh. |
| 00:33:18 |
Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. |
| 00:33:23 |
Ooh. Ooh. |
| 00:33:26 |
Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. |
| 00:33:29 |
Ooh. |
| 00:33:31 |
That's nice. Don't stop. Oh. |
| 00:33:40 |
Blow it. Baby. |
| 00:33:49 |
Heh heh. |
| 00:33:51 |
Chuck, quite frankly, |
| 00:33:55 |
Look, Larry, |
| 00:33:58 |
It's unscripted. |
| 00:34:01 |
I can't help what people say. |
| 00:34:03 |
Be that as it may, |
| 00:34:05 |
getting blow jobs |
| 00:34:07 |
The point is not |
| 00:34:09 |
Well. I know that. |
| 00:34:10 |
Chuck. That's it. |
| 00:34:12 |
If you can't retain |
| 00:34:15 |
without this lewd conduct. |
| 00:34:17 |
It's finished. |
| 00:34:19 |
Now, fix this fucking thing, |
| 00:34:25 |
Hi, folks. |
| 00:34:28 |
I'd like to introduce you |
| 00:34:30 |
of the Federal |
| 00:34:32 |
OK? |
| 00:34:37 |
Thank you, Mr. Barris. |
| 00:34:52 |
I don't know if any of you |
| 00:35:00 |
but it's a federal offense... |
| 00:35:02 |
to make lascivious remarks... |
| 00:35:04 |
on a television |
| 00:35:10 |
The penalty... |
| 00:35:15 |
for this disgusting... |
| 00:35:20 |
un-American... behavior... |
| 00:35:24 |
is one year in prison... |
| 00:35:27 |
or a $10,000 fine... |
| 00:35:30 |
or both. |
| 00:35:34 |
Anyone... |
| 00:35:37 |
making a sick subversive |
| 00:35:41 |
will be arrested immediately. |
| 00:35:43 |
I, then, |
| 00:35:44 |
the offender |
| 00:35:46 |
for booking |
| 00:35:49 |
of the Broadcasting Act |
| 00:35:52 |
And it's a long drive |
| 00:35:57 |
Just you and me. |
| 00:35:59 |
No witnesses: |
| 00:36:18 |
OK. Have fun. Everybody. |
| 00:36:20 |
All right. |
| 00:36:21 |
They gave everybody jackets |
| 00:36:24 |
and when we got number one |
| 00:36:27 |
everybody got a gold plaque. |
| 00:36:29 |
And so, he was a good boss... |
| 00:36:31 |
and obviously |
| 00:36:33 |
because he really knew |
| 00:36:36 |
We aired |
| 00:36:39 |
A phenomenon really. |
| 00:36:41 |
Hey, baby. |
| 00:36:44 |
I got a story to tell you. |
| 00:36:46 |
- Asshole. |
| 00:36:48 |
Uhh. I got |
| 00:36:51 |
I'm busy. |
| 00:36:52 |
of a bachelorette crisis |
| 00:36:53 |
Sit down, relax. |
| 00:36:55 |
Take a load off. |
| 00:36:57 |
I just got a call |
| 00:36:59 |
- You want a drink? |
| 00:37:00 |
I wish. No. No weed. |
| 00:37:03 |
Then I'll have a drink. |
| 00:37:05 |
Bad news? |
| 00:37:07 |
"The Tammy Grimes Show" is being |
| 00:37:09 |
- Oh, not Tammy. |
| 00:37:12 |
They want me to put |
| 00:37:14 |
of "The Dating Game" |
| 00:37:17 |
- That's fucking great. |
| 00:37:19 |
but they say the daytime version |
| 00:37:21 |
They want me to make it |
| 00:37:23 |
I got 48 hours. |
| 00:37:26 |
What have you got? |
| 00:37:30 |
I don't have a clue. |
| 00:37:32 |
Tlis is a big deal. Loretta. |
| 00:37:35 |
I know. |
| 00:37:40 |
- Don't blow it. |
| 00:38:04 |
Let me |
| 00:38:06 |
Jesus. What the... |
| 00:38:09 |
I've been put in charge... |
| 00:38:10 |
of a fairly large |
| 00:38:12 |
and I could use your help. |
| 00:38:18 |
Have you noticed, Jim? |
| 00:38:19 |
I don't need to kill people |
| 00:38:21 |
I know you don't need to, |
| 00:38:24 |
Bullshit. |
| 00:38:26 |
Think of it as a hobby... |
| 00:38:29 |
You can be |
| 00:38:32 |
a murder bug. |
| 00:38:33 |
I got important things |
| 00:38:34 |
I don't have time |
| 00:38:36 |
This is serious work |
| 00:38:38 |
serious work. |
| 00:38:40 |
How about I help you out |
| 00:38:42 |
you help me out |
| 00:38:44 |
Tit for tat. |
| 00:38:45 |
Oh, yeah. |
| 00:38:48 |
I've seen this "Dating Game" |
| 00:38:49 |
and I do have a thought. |
| 00:38:51 |
What, now you're |
| 00:38:53 |
I'm John Q. Public |
| 00:38:56 |
and that should make my opinion |
| 00:38:59 |
All right, |
| 00:39:02 |
What do you have? |
| 00:39:04 |
to some second-rate |
| 00:39:06 |
setting you back 50 bucks? |
| 00:39:08 |
That's not |
| 00:39:09 |
for us vicarious living boobs |
| 00:39:12 |
- What's your point? |
| 00:39:15 |
Send them |
| 00:39:16 |
Europe, Southeast Asia, |
| 00:39:21 |
The network's not going |
| 00:39:23 |
two unmarried kids |
| 00:39:24 |
Send them with a chaperone. |
| 00:39:29 |
That's... |
| 00:39:35 |
That's not half bad. |
| 00:39:36 |
I'm telling you. |
| 00:39:38 |
Sometimes you could be |
| 00:39:40 |
Say we have a job |
| 00:39:43 |
You, a successful |
| 00:39:46 |
chaperones a young couple. |
| 00:39:47 |
While there, you take care |
| 00:39:49 |
It's a perfect cover. |
| 00:39:51 |
TV producer by day, |
| 00:39:54 |
I got money, Jim. |
| 00:39:55 |
I don't have to kill people |
| 00:39:58 |
Chuck, when I said |
| 00:40:00 |
very little of that meant |
| 00:40:02 |
You liked it with Renda. |
| 00:40:06 |
You liked it, |
| 00:40:11 |
You could be |
| 00:40:14 |
Bachelor number three... |
| 00:40:16 |
if we were fixed up |
| 00:40:17 |
and I igroned you... |
| 00:40:18 |
This guy's |
| 00:40:20 |
Ready, four. Take four. |
| 00:40:22 |
Well. I'm not used |
| 00:40:25 |
but I would... |
| 00:40:27 |
The only date this guy's |
| 00:40:32 |
Ready, one. Take one. |
| 00:40:35 |
Bachelor number three, |
| 00:40:39 |
God. She's going for the three. |
| 00:40:41 |
Ready, four. Take four. |
| 00:40:43 |
The only way |
| 00:40:45 |
is by what you say or do. |
| 00:40:48 |
I don't know. |
| 00:40:49 |
I think you're beautiful. |
| 00:40:50 |
I can't believe it. |
| 00:40:51 |
Bachelor number three... |
| 00:40:53 |
can you please tell me |
| 00:40:55 |
who has never been |
| 00:40:56 |
and how you can tell? |
| 00:40:59 |
Well... I'll ask her |
| 00:41:03 |
and if she doesn't know what |
| 00:41:06 |
then I'll know |
| 00:41:21 |
Why don't you talk to her? |
| 00:41:23 |
You can do that. |
| 00:41:28 |
You have to tell her. |
| 00:41:30 |
Tell her that I think |
| 00:41:33 |
and I want |
| 00:41:37 |
I'm shy, too. |
| 00:41:38 |
You got to tell her that, Chuck. |
| 00:41:40 |
I used to skate |
| 00:41:42 |
I told her that. |
| 00:41:44 |
You got to talk to her, Chuck. |
| 00:41:47 |
She picked me, |
| 00:41:50 |
You're the chaperone, Chuck. |
| 00:41:56 |
She called me gay. |
| 00:41:58 |
I'm not gay. |
| 00:42:01 |
You're not doing your job |
| 00:42:03 |
I mean, |
| 00:42:04 |
for people to get |
| 00:42:06 |
but this is ridiculous. |
| 00:42:08 |
They thought he was... |
| 00:42:11 |
They sort of walked |
| 00:42:13 |
because they used to talk |
| 00:42:15 |
saying, you know, |
| 00:42:18 |
You know, |
| 00:42:20 |
but a lot of the crew thought |
| 00:42:23 |
Chuck? |
| 00:42:29 |
Helsinki is wonderful |
| 00:42:33 |
Especially the snow. |
| 00:42:36 |
It affords one solitude... |
| 00:42:38 |
even in a city full of people. |
| 00:42:53 |
Excuse me. |
| 00:42:57 |
By you. |
| 00:43:05 |
Helsinki is wonderful |
| 00:43:08 |
Yes, it is. |
| 00:43:17 |
Oh, I'm sorry. Um... |
| 00:43:29 |
Excuse me. |
| 00:43:42 |
Helsinki is wonderful |
| 00:43:46 |
Especially the snow. |
| 00:43:49 |
even in a city full of people. |
| 00:43:51 |
Hey... |
| 00:43:55 |
I'm Chuck. Ahem. |
| 00:43:57 |
So I gathered. |
| 00:44:00 |
And you are? |
| 00:44:03 |
Here you are, Chuck. |
| 00:44:07 |
At least give me |
| 00:44:09 |
something for me to cry out... |
| 00:44:12 |
during those dark nights |
| 00:44:18 |
Cry out, "Olivia". |
| 00:44:21 |
That's "Twelfth Night". |
| 00:44:24 |
Very good, Chuck. |
| 00:44:26 |
I'm pleasantly surprised. |
| 00:44:29 |
You're not like |
| 00:44:48 |
Here. |
| 00:44:50 |
Do you have it? |
| 00:44:51 |
- Do you have it? |
| 00:44:59 |
Don't worry. |
| 00:45:00 |
Yeah. Just the same. |
| 00:45:02 |
- Unh. |
| 00:45:19 |
Chuck? |
| 00:45:24 |
Chuck? |
| 00:46:07 |
Olivia? |
| 00:46:13 |
It's Patricia, actually. |
| 00:46:16 |
So. Then I spent |
| 00:46:18 |
inside the anti-war movement... |
| 00:46:20 |
nudging it towards violence |
| 00:46:24 |
That was fun. |
| 00:46:25 |
It sounds fun. |
| 00:46:28 |
So, tell me, Patricia, |
| 00:46:34 |
Ahem. |
| 00:46:35 |
I don't know. |
| 00:46:37 |
You're kind of cute |
| 00:46:44 |
It's lonely when |
| 00:46:46 |
calls out the name |
| 00:46:48 |
All the information |
| 00:46:50 |
is from forged documents. |
| 00:46:56 |
Nabokov. |
| 00:47:29 |
Wait, wait. |
| 00:47:30 |
I got to go into the bathroom |
| 00:47:35 |
Leave the microfilm in, baby. |
| 00:47:50 |
Do you know when my episode |
| 00:47:54 |
OK. See you, Chuck. Bye. |
| 00:47:57 |
Chuck. |
| 00:47:59 |
Everything go OK? |
| 00:48:02 |
Mr. Barris, do not ever again |
| 00:48:05 |
by having a game show contestant |
| 00:48:08 |
- Is that understood? |
| 00:48:10 |
Do I make myself clear? |
| 00:48:11 |
Fuck you. |
| 00:48:13 |
You are a bloody amateur. |
| 00:48:15 |
- You're a faggot. |
| 00:48:16 |
Tell me. Mr. Barris. |
| 00:48:18 |
Are you in possession |
| 00:48:20 |
- Yeah, I got it. |
| 00:48:22 |
It's up my ass, Oliver. |
| 00:48:25 |
What is this shit? |
| 00:48:27 |
I deserve a little appreciation |
| 00:48:30 |
What do you think |
| 00:48:38 |
Prick. |
| 00:48:40 |
Really? OK. |
| 00:48:42 |
He said he dated none of them. |
| 00:48:48 |
- Sandra? |
| 00:48:51 |
Well, |
| 00:48:54 |
- What? |
| 00:48:57 |
Surprise. |
| 00:49:02 |
ABC's going to pick up |
| 00:49:04 |
Daytime and primetime. |
| 00:49:05 |
You're kidding me. |
| 00:49:06 |
That's sensational. |
| 00:49:09 |
Whoo. |
| 00:49:10 |
OK. Lene's the last |
| 00:49:13 |
Girls, tell me where, |
| 00:49:15 |
is the weirdest place |
| 00:49:19 |
have ever gotten the urge |
| 00:49:23 |
The weirdest place. Olga? |
| 00:49:26 |
Um... |
| 00:49:31 |
Yes. Olga? |
| 00:49:34 |
In the ass? |
| 00:49:38 |
No, no, no. No, the... |
| 00:49:40 |
It's still there. |
| 00:49:42 |
No. No. |
| 00:49:43 |
is the weirdest location. |
| 00:49:46 |
I don't know. |
| 00:49:53 |
Oh: |
| 00:49:55 |
Olga... |
| 00:49:59 |
Olga. The word is |
| 00:50:01 |
You know what I mean? |
| 00:50:02 |
# Mucha muchacha # |
| 00:50:17 |
# Ba ba ba ba baile # |
| 00:50:28 |
# Ba # |
| 00:50:30 |
# Ah # |
| 00:50:35 |
# Ba ba ba ba ba-ba-ba # |
| 00:50:37 |
# Ra pa pa |
| 00:50:39 |
# Ra pa pa na pa ba na pa # |
| 00:50:42 |
# Ra pa pa |
| 00:50:43 |
# Ra pa na pa ba na pa # |
| 00:50:46 |
# Ra pa pa na pa ba na pa # |
| 00:50:52 |
I liked Penny. |
| 00:50:53 |
I even loved her. In my way. |
| 00:50:55 |
But the idea |
| 00:50:58 |
for the rest of my life... |
| 00:51:01 |
I remember |
| 00:51:04 |
We need a new icebox. |
| 00:51:29 |
Ooh... |
| 00:51:33 |
"The Newlywed Game"... |
| 00:51:34 |
was based on my theory |
| 00:51:36 |
would sell out their spouse |
| 00:51:39 |
or a lawn mower |
| 00:51:42 |
Such was my respect |
| 00:51:47 |
- "Interpet". |
| 00:51:49 |
Oh. Do you have |
| 00:51:53 |
I'm not going |
| 00:51:54 |
You're lucky I don't make you |
| 00:51:56 |
Oh, OK. |
| 00:51:58 |
You look cute today, Pen. |
| 00:52:00 |
I always look cute. |
| 00:52:06 |
What was I going to say? |
| 00:52:07 |
I don't know. |
| 00:52:14 |
I think |
| 00:52:17 |
because we've known |
| 00:52:19 |
and we've fucked |
| 00:52:22 |
And you think I'm cute, |
| 00:52:25 |
And you always come to me |
| 00:52:28 |
and I'm nothing |
| 00:52:30 |
What does that mean? |
| 00:52:34 |
I'm just kidding. |
| 00:52:37 |
Don't ask me |
| 00:52:39 |
# I don't use a knife # |
| 00:52:42 |
# Don't need a gun # |
| 00:52:45 |
I couldn't breathe. |
| 00:52:47 |
I was drowning. |
| 00:52:49 |
And what the fuck did my mother |
| 00:52:52 |
So I made a call. |
| 00:53:15 |
Over hene, |
| 00:53:25 |
How do you know |
| 00:53:27 |
We know what she actually |
| 00:53:29 |
Really? |
| 00:53:31 |
That's on |
| 00:53:34 |
What can I do for you? |
| 00:53:36 |
I really need something, Jim. |
| 00:53:38 |
I need something for my head. |
| 00:53:44 |
I got something |
| 00:53:49 |
And you'ne going |
| 00:53:51 |
to fabulous |
| 00:54:17 |
The name's Hans Colbert. |
| 00:54:19 |
Other side of the wall. |
| 00:54:21 |
We don't like him very much. |
| 00:54:23 |
You'll be working with |
| 00:54:25 |
He's been tailing Colbert |
| 00:54:27 |
Knows the routine. |
| 00:54:29 |
so stay sober and take charge. |
| 00:54:32 |
It's done and done. |
| 00:54:37 |
Kill for me, baby. |
| 00:56:08 |
What are you writing, Sieg? |
| 00:56:14 |
Just keeping track of anything |
| 00:56:23 |
Ah. |
| 00:56:41 |
Ja. |
| 00:56:42 |
That's him. |
| 00:56:46 |
Too many people. |
| 00:57:11 |
Chuck. Chuck. |
| 00:57:14 |
- All right. |
| 00:57:17 |
What is this? |
| 00:57:18 |
Aah. |
| 00:57:21 |
What the... |
| 00:57:28 |
- Take a picture. |
| 00:57:30 |
Take a picture. |
| 00:57:33 |
Picture. Come on. |
| 00:57:36 |
Take a picture. |
| 00:57:41 |
Danke schon. |
| 00:59:00 |
He would disappear for |
| 00:59:03 |
and his secretary would |
| 00:59:05 |
We didn't know |
| 00:59:07 |
I don't know |
| 00:59:10 |
I... I couldn't say. |
| 00:59:29 |
The only reason |
| 00:59:32 |
was they needed me... |
| 00:59:33 |
to trade for one of |
| 00:59:48 |
I promised myself |
| 00:59:51 |
I'd live my life differently. |
| 00:59:53 |
I'd throw myself into work, |
| 00:59:57 |
Penny. I needed to see |
| 01:00:02 |
And tell Byrd I'm out... |
| 01:00:07 |
If I could just make it past |
| 01:00:11 |
this one... last... |
| 01:00:31 |
I don't know what was worse... |
| 01:00:34 |
that I was duped by |
| 01:00:38 |
or that it took seven of us |
| 01:00:49 |
You're still in one piece? |
| 01:00:50 |
Where the fuck you been? |
| 01:00:52 |
Did you have a nice flight? |
| 01:00:53 |
Fuck you. Where you been? |
| 01:00:56 |
and it's you, and if you |
| 01:00:58 |
You understand? |
| 01:01:00 |
# I tip my hat |
| 01:01:03 |
# Take a bow |
| 01:01:06 |
# Smile and grin at the change |
| 01:01:10 |
# Pick up my guitar |
| 01:01:13 |
# Just like yesterday # |
| 01:01:16 |
# Then I get on my knees |
| 01:01:23 |
# We don't get fooled |
| 01:01:26 |
# No. No. # |
| 01:01:30 |
# If I had a hammer # |
| 01:01:33 |
# I'd a hammer in the morning # |
| 01:01:36 |
# I'd a hammer |
| 01:01:38 |
- She's good, huh? |
| 01:01:42 |
That's great. |
| 01:01:43 |
That's fine. |
| 01:01:44 |
But I can sing the whole song. |
| 01:01:46 |
That was wonderful. Great. |
| 01:01:47 |
That was enough. |
| 01:01:49 |
All right. |
| 01:01:52 |
Christ, there's gotta be |
| 01:01:54 |
with some talent. Hi. |
| 01:01:57 |
Now. |
| 01:02:01 |
You'ne gonna love her. |
| 01:02:06 |
# If I had a hammer # |
| 01:02:09 |
# I'd hammer |
| 01:02:12 |
# I'd hammer in the evening # |
| 01:02:16 |
# All over this land # |
| 01:02:19 |
# I'd hammer out danger # |
| 01:02:22 |
# I'd hammer out a warning # |
| 01:02:25 |
# I'd hammer out |
| 01:02:28 |
# My brothers |
| 01:02:31 |
# All over this land # |
| 01:02:39 |
# All over this land # |
| 01:02:45 |
# If I were a... # |
| 01:02:46 |
- Oh, no, thank you. |
| 01:02:52 |
That was great. |
| 01:02:54 |
Thank you. Thank you. |
| 01:02:56 |
We've been going |
| 01:02:58 |
Rather than killing ourselves |
| 01:03:00 |
we just put bad ones |
| 01:03:02 |
Chuck, honestly, this... |
| 01:03:03 |
this is torture. |
| 01:03:04 |
No, no, no. We kill 'em |
| 01:03:07 |
As soon as |
| 01:03:09 |
we kill 'em... dead. |
| 01:03:13 |
Ladies and gentlemen, |
| 01:03:16 |
Ah. Oh, this is so good. |
| 01:03:19 |
This next act answers |
| 01:03:22 |
If you wear a cellophane... |
| 01:03:26 |
Whish. OK. |
| 01:03:28 |
If you wear... ha ha... |
| 01:03:32 |
can people |
| 01:03:36 |
I don't know. |
| 01:03:38 |
All the way from Pacoima... |
| 01:03:41 |
Mick Donnelly. |
| 01:03:47 |
# Raindrops |
| 01:03:51 |
# Just like the guy # |
| 01:03:52 |
# Whose feet |
| 01:03:55 |
# Nothin' seems to fit |
| 01:03:58 |
# Raindrops are fallin' |
| 01:04:00 |
# They keep fallin' # |
| 01:04:02 |
# So I just did me |
| 01:04:06 |
# And I said I didn't like # |
| 01:04:08 |
# The way he got things done # |
| 01:04:11 |
# Sleepin' on the job. |
| 01:04:14 |
Who could have known |
| 01:04:16 |
just waiting for |
| 01:04:19 |
and make an ass |
| 01:04:22 |
# Raindnrops keep fallin' |
| 01:04:24 |
# But that doesn't |
| 01:04:26 |
# Will soon be turnin' red # |
| 01:04:29 |
# Cryin's not for me. 'cause # |
| 01:04:31 |
# I'm never gonna stop |
| 01:04:35 |
# Because I'mm... # |
| 01:04:39 |
We'll be back |
| 01:04:43 |
right after this message. |
| 01:04:49 |
You know what the sad part |
| 01:04:51 |
Barris has a reputation... |
| 01:04:52 |
for lowering |
| 01:04:54 |
and the standards and all... |
| 01:04:56 |
but he had a great feel |
| 01:04:58 |
and he couldn't take |
| 01:05:00 |
Things started |
| 01:05:04 |
The show was |
| 01:05:06 |
and I was becomming the one |
| 01:05:10 |
famous. |
| 01:05:11 |
- You're Chuck Barris, right? |
| 01:05:14 |
"The Gong Show". |
| 01:05:16 |
Thanks. |
| 01:06:15 |
Hi. |
| 01:06:18 |
I thought that was you. |
| 01:06:20 |
Yeah... it's me. |
| 01:06:25 |
Well, I'm glad to meet you. |
| 01:06:29 |
Oh. Yeah, well... |
| 01:06:32 |
I think you're the most |
| 01:06:34 |
in entertainment today. |
| 01:06:38 |
How dare you subject |
| 01:06:40 |
to your loathsome views |
| 01:06:43 |
Yeah... I don't think |
| 01:06:45 |
What is it, then? |
| 01:06:47 |
To mock some |
| 01:06:48 |
who are just craving a little |
| 01:06:51 |
to destroy them? |
| 01:06:53 |
I mean, they're still people. |
| 01:06:55 |
They still deserve a little |
| 01:07:00 |
Who the hell are you... |
| 01:07:01 |
and what the fuck |
| 01:07:03 |
to elevate yourself |
| 01:07:07 |
Oh, that's right. |
| 01:07:10 |
Wow. |
| 01:07:13 |
That's right up there |
| 01:07:19 |
Ladies and gentlemen... |
| 01:07:21 |
it wouldn't surprise me |
| 01:07:25 |
Whoo. |
| 01:07:27 |
That means... |
| 01:07:28 |
it's Gene Gene, |
| 01:07:33 |
and just in time: |
| 01:07:58 |
He represents more... |
| 01:07:59 |
than just the decline |
| 01:08:01 |
In my opinion. Chuck Barris |
| 01:08:04 |
to our society |
| 01:08:07 |
Line one's for you, Chuck. |
| 01:08:08 |
- Who is it? |
| 01:08:10 |
He says he's a friend |
| 01:08:27 |
Hello. |
| 01:08:28 |
Very gutsy, my neighbor. |
| 01:08:30 |
I guess you heard about Oliver. |
| 01:08:33 |
Someone changed sides. |
| 01:08:37 |
What was so urgent? |
| 01:08:42 |
I was wondering. |
| 01:08:44 |
I'm in town for a day. |
| 01:08:46 |
Now, |
| 01:08:48 |
That Keeler was calling me... |
| 01:08:50 |
could mean it was |
| 01:08:52 |
I would take him somewhere |
| 01:08:58 |
How's show biz? |
| 01:09:00 |
Well, it's hit and miss. |
| 01:09:01 |
I got a new show called |
| 01:09:04 |
which I believe |
| 01:09:07 |
It's sort of a Bob Hope |
| 01:09:09 |
but it's weekly. |
| 01:09:11 |
Instead of Bob Hope, |
| 01:09:13 |
Chuck. Tch. |
| 01:09:15 |
Why do you do what you do? |
| 01:09:18 |
Hmm? |
| 01:09:19 |
I like to think that |
| 01:09:23 |
to millions of people. |
| 01:09:25 |
It's a very important thing, |
| 01:09:27 |
in these difficult times. |
| 01:09:28 |
I'm not saying the show is |
| 01:09:31 |
but, uh... |
| 01:09:32 |
No. No. |
| 01:09:34 |
Why do we do what we do? |
| 01:09:38 |
Hmm? Comme on. |
| 01:09:42 |
I got my feet wet |
| 01:09:45 |
Germany. |
| 01:09:48 |
The pleasure of killing |
| 01:09:52 |
Later in life, I... |
| 01:09:54 |
couldn't find a place |
| 01:09:59 |
to get that |
| 01:10:02 |
So I started up |
| 01:10:04 |
Gentlemen. |
| 01:10:08 |
I'll have a green salad, |
| 01:10:10 |
And for you, sir? |
| 01:10:12 |
Can I get a steak? Rare. |
| 01:10:14 |
Thank you. |
| 01:10:17 |
Let me read you something. |
| 01:10:20 |
"Whatsoever your hand |
| 01:10:24 |
do it gladly... |
| 01:10:26 |
because there is no work, |
| 01:10:30 |
or wisdom in the grave". |
| 01:10:32 |
Who is that, Carlyle? |
| 01:10:34 |
No, it's the Old Testament. |
| 01:10:39 |
It's God. |
| 01:10:41 |
It's amazing |
| 01:10:43 |
He's my hero. |
| 01:10:49 |
Killing my first man... |
| 01:10:54 |
was like making love |
| 01:10:59 |
I remember |
| 01:11:03 |
the smell of his hair... |
| 01:11:06 |
ice on the window... |
| 01:11:08 |
wallpaper. |
| 01:11:11 |
It's like entering |
| 01:11:15 |
You're becoming an outsider... |
| 01:11:18 |
isolating yourself. |
| 01:11:20 |
You're condemned. |
| 01:11:24 |
Condemned? |
| 01:11:25 |
You have become... |
| 01:11:28 |
their sadness. And... |
| 01:11:32 |
live in a diffenent |
| 01:11:39 |
Ladies and gentlemen... |
| 01:11:41 |
the host of "The Gong Show"... |
| 01:11:45 |
Chuck Barris. |
| 01:11:46 |
It's good to see you, Sieg. |
| 01:11:48 |
Yeah. It'll be all right. |
| 01:11:53 |
It'll be all right. |
| 01:11:54 |
# Happy birthday # |
| 01:11:56 |
I think. |
| 01:11:57 |
# To you # |
| 01:11:59 |
# Happy birthday # |
| 01:12:01 |
# Dear Chuckie # |
| 01:12:04 |
# Happy birthday # |
| 01:12:06 |
# To you # |
| 01:12:14 |
Is that right? |
| 01:12:16 |
Yeah. That's real good. |
| 01:12:20 |
That's real good. |
| 01:12:22 |
So what's wrong, Chuck? |
| 01:12:25 |
Yeah, I'm OK. |
| 01:12:27 |
A guy I know |
| 01:12:41 |
A guy I know killed himself. |
| 01:12:50 |
- Who was he? |
| 01:12:53 |
He's a stagehand. |
| 01:12:57 |
Why did he do it? |
| 01:13:02 |
He didn't like |
| 01:13:04 |
- Thanks. |
| 01:13:06 |
Is being a stagehand |
| 01:13:09 |
Yeah, it's pretty bad. |
| 01:13:25 |
Hello? |
| 01:13:27 |
You were supposed to meet me |
| 01:13:30 |
- Oh, fuck, I forgot. |
| 01:13:32 |
- Keeler's dead. Did you know? |
| 01:13:35 |
- What did you hear? |
| 01:13:37 |
Is that right? |
| 01:13:39 |
He said he was depressed. |
| 01:13:42 |
Who is this? |
| 01:13:43 |
I don't get stood up. |
| 01:13:45 |
Fun. Excuse me. |
| 01:13:47 |
So glad... Penny. Patricia. |
| 01:13:52 |
Are you serious? |
| 01:13:54 |
What does she mean? |
| 01:13:56 |
You're dead in my book, |
| 01:13:58 |
- Strawberry dick? |
| 01:14:01 |
Nice to meet you, Penny. |
| 01:14:04 |
Why don't you stay |
| 01:14:07 |
Penny... |
| 01:14:08 |
And... and... you know, man... |
| 01:14:12 |
I'm giving you |
| 01:14:15 |
Fuck. |
| 01:14:19 |
Thank you, |
| 01:14:26 |
# Wise men say # |
| 01:14:34 |
# Only fools # |
| 01:14:36 |
# Rush in # |
| 01:14:42 |
# But I can't help # |
| 01:14:48 |
# Falling in love # |
| 01:14:51 |
# With you # |
| 01:14:58 |
# Take my hand # |
| 01:15:05 |
# Take my whole life # |
| 01:15:09 |
# Too # |
| 01:15:13 |
# For I can't help # |
| 01:15:19 |
# Falling in love # |
| 01:15:23 |
# With you # |
| 01:15:28 |
# For I can't help # |
| 01:15:34 |
# Falling in love # |
| 01:15:39 |
# With # |
| 01:15:42 |
# You # |
| 01:15:49 |
Thank you, |
| 01:15:53 |
Line one for you, Chuck. |
| 01:15:57 |
Thanks. |
| 01:15:59 |
Yeah? |
| 01:16:00 |
Keeler didn't |
| 01:16:02 |
He was murdered. |
| 01:16:06 |
You can come in now, |
| 01:16:09 |
Chuck. |
| 01:16:12 |
- Great to see ya. |
| 01:16:17 |
Well... Chuck, may I sit? |
| 01:16:20 |
Hey, how's that redhead? |
| 01:16:22 |
She's good, you know. |
| 01:16:25 |
Well, Chuck, the thing is, |
| 01:16:28 |
What's up, Rod? |
| 01:16:30 |
Well, the thing is... |
| 01:16:32 |
some of your old shows |
| 01:16:35 |
in the old ratings war. |
| 01:16:39 |
So... I've been put |
| 01:16:43 |
of having to inform you... |
| 01:16:45 |
that the network |
| 01:16:51 |
Now, don't shoot me, Chuck. |
| 01:16:54 |
I'm just the messenger. |
| 01:17:02 |
Psshh. |
| 01:17:06 |
Aargh. |
| 01:17:11 |
This really is the hardest part |
| 01:17:16 |
They killed my babies... |
| 01:17:18 |
just like that. |
| 01:17:19 |
I pushed them into the world... |
| 01:17:21 |
through the birth canal |
| 01:17:24 |
lovingly... tenderly. |
| 01:17:27 |
Where's the humanity |
| 01:17:30 |
- Fuck 'em. |
| 01:17:33 |
They're fucking bastards anyway. |
| 01:17:35 |
Yeah. What am I gonna do now? |
| 01:17:40 |
Oh, baby. |
| 01:17:41 |
Oh, yeah. Feels so good. |
| 01:18:06 |
Chuck? |
| 01:18:11 |
Chuck? |
| 01:18:12 |
Fuck. Fuck. |
| 01:18:13 |
Penny, fuck. |
| 01:18:31 |
I came here to tell you |
| 01:18:34 |
That's great. |
| 01:18:38 |
What's she doing here? |
| 01:18:40 |
She's. Uh... |
| 01:18:44 |
This is our house. |
| 01:18:47 |
It's one thing to go elsewhere |
| 01:18:51 |
But this is our house. |
| 01:18:54 |
It's my house, Pen. |
| 01:18:56 |
It's our house. |
| 01:18:59 |
I found it with you. |
| 01:19:02 |
I spent six fucking months... |
| 01:19:04 |
waiting for the fucking plumber |
| 01:19:13 |
I'm sonny. |
| 01:19:17 |
You're such an asshole. |
| 01:20:02 |
No, I'm not saying that. |
| 01:20:05 |
Then what |
| 01:20:09 |
Do you want me |
| 01:20:12 |
Do you even like me? |
| 01:20:15 |
Of course I like you. |
| 01:20:16 |
Penny... |
| 01:20:18 |
- How much? |
| 01:20:20 |
I need to know |
| 01:20:24 |
I don't know what that means. |
| 01:20:26 |
How much? How can I rate |
| 01:20:30 |
You could if you felt it. |
| 01:20:33 |
If you felt it, |
| 01:20:35 |
You would just... |
| 01:20:38 |
spread your arms |
| 01:20:41 |
and say, "This much, Penny". |
| 01:20:53 |
Everything... |
| 01:20:55 |
Everything's complicated, Pen. |
| 01:20:57 |
You know, nothing's |
| 01:21:06 |
Do you want me around or not? |
| 01:21:08 |
Because if you don't, it's OK. |
| 01:21:12 |
Hey, hey... |
| 01:21:16 |
I love you, Penny, in my way. |
| 01:21:25 |
Maybe not in that crazy |
| 01:21:30 |
but what is that anyway? |
| 01:21:32 |
Romantic love... |
| 01:21:35 |
isn't that just an illusion? |
| 01:21:41 |
You just said |
| 01:22:01 |
# Just like yesterday # |
| 01:22:04 |
# And I'll get on my knees |
| 01:22:11 |
# We don't... # |
| 01:22:26 |
Hi, Chuck. |
| 01:22:27 |
Hey, Jim, what do you want? |
| 01:22:29 |
- How's work? |
| 01:22:31 |
Any new game show ideas? |
| 01:22:33 |
Dozens. Why are you here, Jim? |
| 01:22:35 |
We need you to find the mole |
| 01:22:43 |
Yeah. |
| 01:22:46 |
Yeah... |
| 01:22:50 |
I just want |
| 01:22:52 |
I'm out. |
| 01:22:55 |
No, you're not. |
| 01:23:01 |
Hey, I got an idea. |
| 01:23:03 |
If you want him so bad... |
| 01:23:06 |
why don't you do it? |
| 01:23:08 |
Why don't you kill the mole? |
| 01:23:10 |
Any problem with killing, Jim? |
| 01:23:13 |
I just don't fit the profile. |
| 01:23:16 |
What fucking profile? |
| 01:23:18 |
OK. There's no profile. |
| 01:23:20 |
- There's no profile. |
| 01:23:25 |
You had a twin sister, |
| 01:23:28 |
strangled |
| 01:23:30 |
Your first hit. |
| 01:23:32 |
Your mother always |
| 01:23:34 |
She blamed you |
| 01:23:36 |
so until youn sister |
| 01:23:38 |
she raised you as a girl. |
| 01:23:40 |
What else? |
| 01:23:41 |
Your father, the dentist. |
| 01:23:44 |
Not really your father. |
| 01:23:47 |
Your real father was a man |
| 01:23:51 |
Among other things |
| 01:23:53 |
a fact your mother didn't know... |
| 01:23:55 |
when she had an affair |
| 01:23:57 |
- That's ridiculous. |
| 01:24:00 |
That's insane. |
| 01:24:01 |
Windson died in |
| 01:24:06 |
I'm trying to think of |
| 01:24:09 |
but you have me at a bit |
| 01:24:10 |
I don't have your files |
| 01:24:21 |
Come on, Jim. |
| 01:24:28 |
I'm out. |
| 01:24:37 |
As long as the mole's alive, |
| 01:24:40 |
How do I know it's not you? |
| 01:24:43 |
You're a fairly bright guy. |
| 01:24:47 |
You'll figure it out. |
| 01:26:50 |
- Hey, Chuck. I... |
| 01:26:52 |
Who are you? |
| 01:27:06 |
Yeah... |
| 01:27:10 |
Get off the stage. |
| 01:27:14 |
Get yourself a Guinness |
| 01:27:17 |
All right. |
| 01:27:20 |
the prince of puns... |
| 01:27:23 |
the wizard of whoopee. |
| 01:27:26 |
The Unknown Comic. |
| 01:27:29 |
Hey, Chuckie, baby. |
| 01:27:31 |
Hey, Chuckie, baby, |
| 01:27:33 |
- A joke. |
| 01:27:34 |
What's the difference |
| 01:27:35 |
and a shower curtain? |
| 01:27:36 |
- I don't know. What? |
| 01:27:38 |
- Get off the stage. |
| 01:27:41 |
- Get off the stage. |
| 01:27:44 |
Get the fuck out of here. |
| 01:27:46 |
Ladies and gentlemen... |
| 01:27:49 |
our next act... Ha ha. |
| 01:27:53 |
First came... |
| 01:27:57 |
To us... all the way... |
| 01:28:02 |
Um... ha ha... |
| 01:28:04 |
Lord. |
| 01:28:10 |
Come on. |
| 01:28:15 |
You like the way mommy looks? |
| 01:28:17 |
Yes. |
| 01:28:19 |
I bet you'd like to be a mommy |
| 01:28:23 |
Comme here. You. |
| 01:28:31 |
Sorry about |
| 01:28:43 |
#... birthday to you # |
| 01:28:46 |
# Happy birthday to you # |
| 01:28:50 |
# Happy birthday. |
| 01:28:54 |
# Happy birthday to... # |
| 01:29:08 |
Come on. Take me away now. |
| 01:29:11 |
Take me away. |
| 01:29:14 |
What are you waitin' for? |
| 01:29:17 |
Come on. Come on. |
| 01:29:19 |
Come on. |
| 01:29:23 |
I see you. |
| 01:29:26 |
What are you looking at? |
| 01:29:31 |
# If I had a hammer # |
| 01:29:33 |
# I'd hammer |
| 01:29:36 |
# I'd hammer |
| 01:29:38 |
# All over this land # |
| 01:29:41 |
# I'd hammer out danger # |
| 01:29:44 |
# I'd hammer out a warnin' # |
| 01:29:46 |
# I'd hammer out love # |
| 01:29:48 |
# Between my brothers |
| 01:29:50 |
# All over # |
| 01:29:52 |
# This land # |
| 01:29:55 |
# Ooh ooh ooh # |
| 01:29:57 |
# If I had a bell # |
| 01:29:59 |
# I'd ring it |
| 01:30:02 |
# I'd ring it |
| 01:30:05 |
# All over this land # |
| 01:30:07 |
# I'd ring out danger # |
| 01:30:10 |
# I'd ring out a warning # |
| 01:30:12 |
# I'd ring out # |
| 01:30:13 |
# Love between my brothers |
| 01:30:16 |
# All over # |
| 01:30:18 |
# This land # |
| 01:30:21 |
# Ooh # |
| 01:30:23 |
# If I had a song # |
| 01:30:25 |
# I'd sing it |
| 01:30:28 |
# I'd sing it |
| 01:30:30 |
# All over this land # |
| 01:30:33 |
# I'd sing out danger # |
| 01:30:35 |
# I'd sing out a warning # |
| 01:30:38 |
# I'd sing out love # |
| 01:30:39 |
# Between my brothers |
| 01:30:42 |
# All over # |
| 01:30:44 |
# This land # |
| 01:30:48 |
Dear Penny... |
| 01:30:50 |
this is just a note to say |
| 01:30:54 |
for all of it. |
| 01:30:57 |
You were the best part |
| 01:31:00 |
and I couldn't see it. |
| 01:31:02 |
I'm not asking |
| 01:31:06 |
just for your forgiveness. |
| 01:31:10 |
Love, Chuck. |
| 01:31:30 |
Well... |
| 01:31:32 |
Look who comes out of hiding. |
| 01:31:36 |
I started thinking, |
| 01:31:37 |
in the world |
| 01:31:40 |
I know I screwed you over |
| 01:31:43 |
and I'm sorry. I... |
| 01:31:49 |
I just want you |
| 01:31:56 |
I hate myself for how... |
| 01:31:58 |
Goddamn, I hate myself |
| 01:32:03 |
Nietzsche says |
| 01:32:06 |
still respects oneself |
| 01:32:10 |
Shit, |
| 01:32:12 |
I can't even despise myself |
| 01:32:15 |
The insane asylums |
| 01:32:18 |
who think |
| 01:32:20 |
Very few have delusions |
| 01:32:23 |
a guy down the block who works |
| 01:32:29 |
All right. |
| 01:32:32 |
What is this stuff? |
| 01:32:35 |
I wanted to be a writer once. |
| 01:32:37 |
I wanted to write something... |
| 01:32:39 |
that someday some lesser person |
| 01:32:41 |
but I never did. |
| 01:32:43 |
I'm the lesser person, Trish. |
| 01:32:45 |
I never say |
| 01:32:47 |
that wasn't said |
| 01:32:50 |
I am disposable. |
| 01:32:53 |
I disposed of people, |
| 01:32:59 |
I've been thinking about you |
| 01:33:03 |
- Oh, yeah? |
| 01:33:06 |
I've missed you. |
| 01:33:08 |
You could have fooled me. |
| 01:33:10 |
Well, I've mellowed. |
| 01:33:14 |
Boston is a beautiful city. |
| 01:33:16 |
We could start over here, |
| 01:33:20 |
Sell insurance. |
| 01:33:24 |
Yeah. That sounds good. |
| 01:33:30 |
Look at that. |
| 01:33:32 |
I could learn to love |
| 01:33:37 |
Did you see |
| 01:33:39 |
Oh, yeah? Where? |
| 01:33:41 |
- Look. |
| 01:33:46 |
To life. |
| 01:33:49 |
To life. |
| 01:34:01 |
You devil. Isn't that sweet? |
| 01:34:05 |
Oh... |
| 01:34:08 |
Hey, what about splitting |
| 01:34:14 |
Fuck. I just bit... |
| 01:34:16 |
It's just a... |
| 01:34:34 |
No, that's too quick. |
| 01:34:36 |
You're supposed to get to |
| 01:34:39 |
God, Chuck, you should have |
| 01:34:42 |
It was just... well... |
| 01:34:45 |
I got a nice snapshot of it, |
| 01:34:48 |
Mmm... |
| 01:34:49 |
You know, Keeler was easy. |
| 01:34:51 |
Traveled halfway around |
| 01:34:55 |
Hmm... |
| 01:34:58 |
OK... Let's see... |
| 01:35:01 |
Chuck, you've put on weight. |
| 01:35:07 |
Come on. |
| 01:35:09 |
I nearly blew it with Byrd. |
| 01:35:11 |
Never farm out a job |
| 01:35:14 |
Do you want a laugh? |
| 01:35:18 |
He was going to kill you. |
| 01:35:23 |
"I'm not at all the person |
| 01:35:26 |
Hmm. Sounds like an epitaph. |
| 01:35:28 |
Your handwriting, too. |
| 01:35:30 |
You see, Chuck, |
| 01:35:33 |
All of your lovely notes. |
| 01:35:37 |
You know what? |
| 01:35:40 |
I like Carlyle best, too. |
| 01:35:43 |
I really do. Yeah. |
| 01:35:45 |
Say hi to the boys |
| 01:35:53 |
Ooh... |
| 01:35:55 |
Oh... |
| 01:36:50 |
To life. |
| 01:37:48 |
My name |
| 01:37:51 |
I have written pop songs. |
| 01:37:53 |
I have been |
| 01:37:57 |
I am responsible |
| 01:38:00 |
with mind-numbing, |
| 01:38:04 |
In addition, I have murdered |
| 01:38:29 |
We have come here today... |
| 01:38:32 |
to join Penny Pacino |
| 01:38:35 |
in holy matrimony. |
| 01:38:37 |
You all know Chuck Barris... |
| 01:38:40 |
creator of "The Dating Game", |
| 01:38:44 |
"The Family Game"... |
| 01:38:45 |
"The Game Game", |
| 01:38:50 |
"Operation: Entertainment"... |
| 01:38:52 |
"How's Your Mother-in-law", |
| 01:38:56 |
Chuck Barris, who most recently |
| 01:38:59 |
as "The Rah-Rah Show"... |
| 01:39:01 |
"The $1.98 Beauty Show"... |
| 01:39:04 |
"The Gong Show". |
| 01:39:07 |
Oh, Chuck Barris... |
| 01:39:09 |
who I'm sure |
| 01:39:12 |
with even more shows that |
| 01:39:17 |
and keep us on the edge |
| 01:39:51 |
Whoo. |
| 01:39:52 |
Congratulations. |
| 01:39:54 |
Hey... |
| 01:39:55 |
Oh, thanks, thanks. |
| 01:39:57 |
Thanks. |
| 01:40:21 |
Danny, drive now. |
| 01:40:26 |
Bye. |
| 01:40:27 |
Penny, there's something |
| 01:40:29 |
something I gotta tell ya. |
| 01:40:32 |
Listen, Penny. You've known me |
| 01:40:35 |
As the host of |
| 01:40:37 |
"The Gong Show", |
| 01:40:39 |
Yeah, yeah, |
| 01:40:41 |
I work for the CIA. |
| 01:40:46 |
And I kill people. |
| 01:40:47 |
I killed... |
| 01:40:51 |
You understand? |
| 01:40:53 |
I killed a lot of people. |
| 01:40:59 |
Ha ha ha ha ha ha. |
| 01:41:23 |
I came up with |
| 01:41:27 |
It's called "The Old Game". |
| 01:41:30 |
You got three old guys |
| 01:41:35 |
they look back |
| 01:41:38 |
see who they were, |
| 01:41:42 |
how close they came |
| 01:41:50 |
The winner... |
| 01:41:52 |
is the one who doesn't |
| 01:41:56 |
He gets a refridgerator. |
