44 Inch Chest

en
00:01:07 "
00:01:11 -No, I can't forget
00:01:14 Or your face
00:01:18 But I guess
00:01:22 The story goes
00:01:26 You always smile
00:01:28 " But in uour eues,
00:01:33 " Yes, it shows "
00:01:37 "
00:01:41 " No, I can't forget tomorrow "
00:01:45 " When I think
00:01:49 " When I had you there "
00:01:51 " But then I let you go "
00:01:54 "
00:01:56 " And now it's only fair
00:02:03 " What you should know "
00:02:07 "
00:02:09 " Oh "
00:02:11 " I can't live "
00:02:15 " If living is without you "
00:02:19 " I can't live "
00:02:22 " I can't give anymore "
00:02:26 " I can't live "
00:02:30 " If living is without you "
00:02:33 " I can't give "
00:02:37 " I can't give anymore... "
00:02:44 "
00:02:45 " If living is without you... "
00:02:49 "
00:02:57 - And meet Switzerland's
00:03:00 - Mmm.
00:03:03 What is this, Archie?
00:03:05 - That?
00:03:07 - Mmm. Nice.
00:03:11 - Put hairs on your chest,
00:03:14 - Panorama's on soon
00:03:17 David Dimble-bimble-by,
00:03:21 Oh, there's my mobilius.
00:03:28 Hello?
00:03:30 Y- y-yeah.
00:03:33 Col?
00:03:34 - Just come...
00:03:35 - Colin, what's happened?
00:03:40 "
00:04:25 - Hello.
00:04:28 Hello, Arch.
00:04:34 Yeah.
00:04:46 - Col?
00:04:49 Col?
00:04:52 Come on, mate.
00:05:09 "
00:05:13 - " No, I can't forget
00:05:16 " Or your face
00:05:20 " But I guess
00:05:24 " The story goes "
00:05:33 - Come on, mate, cheer up.
00:05:34 It might never happen.
00:06:01 - Hurry up.
00:06:03 Get in here, Pop.
00:06:05 - Tosser.
00:06:12 "
00:06:23 - Oi! Oi!
00:06:25 Concentrate on your snails.
00:06:32 - Get in, you cunt!
00:06:45 - Cuckoldry.
00:06:47 Cuckoldry, terrible word.
00:06:51 Is he up to it, d'you think?
00:06:53 - Oh, he'll do it.
00:06:54 He'll kill him.
00:06:56 He just needs
00:06:57 That's all, you know.
00:06:59 He'll do it.
00:07:00 - Well, give him my regards.
00:07:02 Send my condolences.
00:07:03 - Yeah, I will.
00:07:05 I'll pass 'em on.
00:07:06 - Meredith, eh?
00:07:08 Meredith.
00:07:10 - And Mal and Peanut
00:07:13 - Meredith.
00:07:18 - How's̶―how's Rosemary, then?
00:07:20 - I don't know.
00:07:21 Ask her.
00:07:25 - Hello, Rosemary.
00:07:27 - I'm all right, I suppose.
00:07:28 Thanks for asking.
00:07:31 Is he looking after you?
00:07:32 Keeping you in sausages,
00:07:34 - Who? This cunt?
00:07:35 You're joking, ain't ya?
00:07:37 He opens another tin of chum,
00:07:41 Charming.
00:07:46 - Well, I'll̶―I'll catch you
00:07:49 Bye, Rose.
00:07:51 - Toodle pip.
00:07:58 "
00:08:35 - Fair do's,
00:08:36 but fuck me.
00:08:38 - I know. I know.
00:08:39 - Shit happens.
00:08:42 - How's your hand?
00:08:44 - Throbbing like fuck.
00:08:49 He was on the phone to me
00:08:50 hour and a half,
00:08:52 - Yeah.
00:08:53 - Oh, "cunt" this, "cunt" that.
00:08:55 Reckoned he couldn't sleep.
00:08:56 Pissed out of his brains.
00:08:58 Talking a load of cobblers.
00:09:00 He doesn't know where he is.
00:09:02 - I been there.
00:09:03 - No, not like this, mate,
00:09:04 not like him,
00:09:06 not like Colin Diamond.
00:09:08 Ah, believe me,
00:09:10 Fucking hell.
00:09:11 On and on,
00:09:16 Get this, he's in a phone box,
00:09:19 only it isn't a phone box.
00:09:21 It's her cunt.
00:09:23 - It's her what?
00:09:25 - That's right, her cunt,
00:09:27 Oh, no-no-no-no, pardon me.
00:09:28 Let's get this right.
00:09:30 Not teeth; dentures.
00:09:33 - Dentures.
00:09:34 - That's right.
00:09:36 - Jesus Christ.
00:09:38 - And they're snapping,
00:09:40 Nibbling his arse.
00:09:42 I mean, I'm trying
00:09:45 I'm knackered.
00:09:46 Half past 3:00 in the morning,
00:09:49 - Fucking hell.
00:09:50 - Ah, that's right,
00:09:52 It goes̶―a door opens.
00:09:53 In walks a cock.
00:09:55 That's right.
00:09:56 Yeah, that's right, a cock.
00:09:59 And it's massive.
00:10:00 It's not his.
00:10:02 Guess whose.
00:10:04 That's right.
00:10:05 Oh, fuck's sake.
00:10:07 Oh, then, yeah―
00:10:10 All right, he's having
00:10:13 and he's dressed as a clown.
00:10:15 Oh, ueah, big red nose
00:10:19 And then―
00:10:22 And the waitress
00:10:24 and starts whacking him
00:10:28 Oh, you make sense of it, mate.
00:10:30 I mean, it's fucking tragic.
00:10:32 - He needs pulling back.
00:10:35 He's on a slippery slope.
00:10:37 Better watch him.
00:10:39 Dressed as a clown?
00:10:40 - Yeah, fucking Coco, mate.
00:10:44 - Hello.
00:11:15 - Old man Peanut's vodka,
00:11:18 - Ah, yeah.
00:11:21 - Taken a sizeable lump
00:11:23 - You can look at me,
00:11:24 I'm not invisible.
00:11:26 - Who said that?
00:11:30 You all right, son?
00:11:34 - I'm bearing up.
00:11:37 Archie, I'm bearing up.
00:11:42 - Yeah, well,
00:11:45 Never easy.
00:11:49 - Give us a fucking drink.
00:11:51 - Oh, yeah,
00:11:55 Brandy, doctor's orders.
00:12:17 What you staring at?
00:12:19 - You're amongst friends here.
00:12:23 Don't make this more difficult
00:12:26 Hear me, Colin?
00:12:29 Look at me.
00:12:34 - Go on, mate, be brave.
00:12:38 - Yeah.
00:12:40 Well, I got to, ain't I?
00:12:44 - That's the stuff.
00:12:45 - Yeah, that's the spirit.
00:12:47 - Can't believe it.
00:12:49 I still can't believe it.
00:12:50 I just can't fucking believe it.
00:12:52 - Yeah, well,
00:12:55 Like a bad dream, innit?
00:13:16 Can't believe it.
00:13:21 - Where's old man fucking
00:13:23 - I'm fucking here.
00:13:25 That's where he is, cunt.
00:13:29 - Sorry, Pop.
00:13:31 - Don't "Pop" me.
00:13:32 I'm fucking here.
00:13:35 Well, give us a fucking drink.
00:13:38 - D'you want me to pour it
00:13:39 - Give it here!
00:13:50 Tosser.
00:14:00 How is he, all right?
00:14:02 - Yeah, he's all right,
00:14:04 Yeah.
00:14:11 - You get it together,
00:14:15 You hear me?
00:14:16 Hey?
00:14:18 Get it to-fucking-gether.
00:14:20 We can't have this.
00:14:22 You was a fucking disgrace
00:14:25 Inept.
00:14:27 Tonight,
00:14:29 Show some fucking backbone.
00:14:31 You're a man.
00:14:33 - He'll get there.
00:14:36 - And the bloodied slave
00:14:40 thrust his hand
00:14:43 tore out his own heart,
00:14:46 saying, "Free from bondage. "
00:14:49 Free from fucking bondage,
00:14:53 - Yeah, you're right, Pop.
00:14:55 - Fucking right,
00:14:57 Fucking right,
00:14:59 It's the strong
00:15:01 not the fucking weak.
00:15:02 - Yeah, you tell him.
00:15:04 - Not the fucking weak!
00:15:07 - Yeah, well, whatever.
00:15:10 This thing's
00:15:11 'cause I'm busy tomorrow.
00:15:14 - You break every other
00:15:16 every other fucking engagement.
00:15:18 This takes top priority
00:15:21 Till this is done and dusted,
00:15:24 nobody does fucking nothing
00:15:27 This is where we are.
00:15:29 Here. Now.
00:15:33 Where's fucking Meredith?
00:15:35 - He's late.
00:15:36 - Late?
00:15:38 Late?
00:15:39 No such fucking word.
00:15:42 And I'll tell you this,
00:15:44 God rest his tortured soul―
00:15:45 had ever caught anyone
00:15:48 he would've cut
00:15:49 stuck 'em in a fucking sack
00:15:50 with a snake, a cockerel,
00:15:52 and chucked 'em
00:15:54 Charming.
00:15:56 - That was how it was.
00:15:58 And believe you me,
00:15:59 once he'd made up his mind,
00:16:01 That was it.
00:16:02 Nothing could sway him,
00:16:03 No surrender.
00:16:05 Immovable, he was,
00:16:08 A mountain.
00:16:12 You hear me, Colin?
00:16:13 - I just can't believe it.
00:16:15 I can't.
00:16:27 Anybody want any crisps?
00:16:32 - Salutee.
00:16:34 - You're late!
00:16:35 - So sue me.
00:16:38 God.
00:16:40 Fuck me.
00:16:42 Déjà vu.
00:16:44 You enjoying those?
00:16:46 - Fuck off.
00:16:48 - So what's happening, kittens?
00:16:51 - More of the same.
00:16:55 - How are you feeling today,
00:16:57 You look terrible.
00:17:00 - He's good.
00:17:01 He's fucking strong.
00:17:03 - Oh, that's good.
00:17:06 He don't look it.
00:17:07 - No, he's all right.
00:17:08 - Yeah, better than he was
00:17:14 Here, Meredith,
00:17:15 I bumped into Biggy Walpole
00:17:17 He was asking after you.
00:17:20 - Was he?
00:17:21 Now, that's funny.
00:17:23 - Does he?
00:17:24 Didn't seem like it.
00:17:25 - Is he a poof and all?
00:17:27 - Not sure.
00:17:29 Is he, Arch?
00:17:30 - Who? Biggy?
00:17:31 I don't think so.
00:17:33 - Arch doesn't think so, Peanut.
00:17:36 - Ha.
00:17:37 - What was he wearing?
00:17:39 - Don't know.
00:17:40 A jacket?
00:17:42 - I get waves...
00:17:43 - Jacket, eh?
00:17:44 - Up and down.
00:17:46 - Tweedy.
00:17:47 - I mean,
00:17:49 - Tweedy, eh?
00:17:51 - All I ever did was love her.
00:17:57 Maybe I loved her too much.
00:17:58 Maybe that's it.
00:18:15 Liz?
00:18:17 I'm home.
00:18:21 Here he is.
00:18:23 He's bearing gifts.
00:18:25 Look what I got you.
00:18:29 Avril's been at it again,
00:18:31 fucking up big style.
00:18:32 She's useless.
00:18:33 Almost cost us a sale
00:18:36 Fucking hell,
00:18:38 this week the Jag.
00:18:40 I gave her a verbal warning,
00:18:41 told her if
00:18:43 she'd be out the showroom.
00:18:44 I'll stick her desk in
00:18:54 Liz, love, what's wrong?
00:18:57 What is it?
00:19:00 What's the matter?
00:19:02 What's happened?
00:19:06 - Colin.
00:19:08 - Liz, love, what's wrong?
00:19:12 - I'm so sorry.
00:19:13 - What you sorry for?
00:19:14 What you―
00:19:17 - I'm sorry, Colin.
00:19:18 - So you said.
00:19:19 I've got that.
00:19:21 What you sorry for, Liz?
00:19:31 You're scaring me, Liz.
00:19:40 - I've met someone else.
00:19:44 - What?
00:19:49 You're kidding.
00:19:52 - I'm sorry.
00:19:54 - Someone else?
00:19:58 I- I don't understand.
00:20:03 I've just come in
00:20:04 and now I'm...
00:20:07 Now I'm, um...
00:20:12 Met someone else?
00:20:23 I know what you're all thinking.
00:20:27 "Poor Colin.
00:20:29 He's pathetic. "
00:20:34 You can say it.
00:20:36 I can take it.
00:20:39 Well, you can all fuck off.
00:20:42 Sling your dirty hooks.
00:20:44 Sorry to have inconvenienced you
00:20:46 but uour services
00:20:51 Snakes.
00:20:53 Laughing at me.
00:20:55 I might look like a cunt,
00:20:59 - No, it's her
00:21:01 It's Liz.
00:21:02 - What do you know about her?
00:21:03 What do you know about
00:21:05 to be fucking married?
00:21:06 You still live
00:21:08 - Oi.
00:21:10 - This is why Loverboy
00:21:13 This is why she must be killed.
00:21:15 Do this to a man?
00:21:17 Jesus fucking Christ almighty.
00:21:20 Fire and fucking sword.
00:21:21 It's unforgivable.
00:21:22 De-fucking-plorable.
00:21:24 Look at the man.
00:21:25 Where is he?
00:21:27 Look at him.
00:21:28 Someone else.
00:21:30 Fucking shell that is,
00:21:33 sad, empty shell.
00:21:35 Hurts your fucking eyes.
00:21:36 Can hardly look at him.
00:21:38 Make you weep.
00:21:39 Oh, mother of God,
00:21:42 Oh, yeah, they will suffer.
00:21:44 That is my promise.
00:21:46 They will fucking suffer.
00:21:51 - I'm sorry, Arch.
00:21:54 I don't know what I'm saying.
00:21:55 I'm cracking up, mate.
00:21:56 - That's all right, mate.
00:21:58 Forget about it.
00:21:59 It's understandable.
00:22:00 - Here, Colin,
00:22:06 Have a guess
00:22:10 - Fucking suffer.
00:22:12 - Have a guess.
00:22:14 - How much you win?
00:22:15 - Well,
00:22:18 I was buzzing.
00:22:20 I was on my way to
00:22:22 None of you wet willies
00:22:25 And guess who
00:22:27 - Meredith!
00:22:29 - Tippi Gordon...
00:22:33 - Off his fucking face,
00:22:36 Pupils the size of a sixpence.
00:22:38 both: You up for it?
00:22:39 Are you with me?
00:22:40 Night of it, beauty boy?
00:22:41 You up for it?
00:22:43 - He was on his way
00:22:45 invites me along.
00:22:47 both: I like a line the size
00:22:51 Oi, bumface, here you are.
00:22:54 - Get your nose
00:23:02 - Go on, then.
00:23:03 - £40,600 is what I won.
00:23:07 - Fucking hell.
00:23:11 - How?
00:23:12 - Well...
00:23:14 We were fucking about.
00:23:15 So I bet Tippo five grand
00:23:17 he can't win
00:23:21 - I fucking can.
00:23:22 - Go on, then.
00:23:23 Smacks six thou down
00:23:29 both: Red, cunt.
00:23:31 Double or quits.
00:23:33 - He bets black.
00:23:35 - Black! Come on!
00:23:37 Come on, come on, come on,
00:23:39 Come on, then, red.
00:23:42 both: Double or quits twice.
00:23:44 - Bets black.
00:23:45 - Come on.
00:23:46 Black! Black!
00:23:48 both: Red, cunt.
00:23:52 - For the third time.
00:23:53 Only this time,
00:23:58 - Now, come on, come on.
00:24:00 Come on, come on, come on!
00:24:01 Come on, oh, yeah, yeah.
00:24:04 Come on.
00:24:06 Black!
00:24:08 - Cunt, cunt.
00:24:09 - Meredith.
00:24:10 - "You are a cunt.
00:24:12 "Here's your £40,000.
00:24:14 Thank you very much.
00:24:17 Well, for a giggle,
00:24:19 I've had £400
00:24:21 Splat blackjack.
00:24:23 Lovelu.
00:24:24 That's me done.
00:24:26 Had some dinner in the corner:
00:24:29 Last drink, large calvados.
00:24:31 "Home," methinks,
00:24:35 Over the bridge.
00:24:36 Bung him a nifty.
00:24:38 Wipe my feet,
00:24:40 into me jim-jams, lights out.
00:24:43 Ain't life grand?
00:24:48 - You mean you didn't stop off
00:24:50 - No, Peanut,
00:24:53 I did not go to the Clayton,
00:24:56 not last night,
00:24:58 later on, looking for
00:25:01 Is that all right with you?
00:25:03 - Don't fucking start, you two.
00:25:05 - Putting uour one
00:25:07 Sodomite.
00:25:09 Buggerer.
00:25:10 - Peanut, what I choose to do
00:25:12 has got fuck-all to do with you.
00:25:14 - It's disgusting.
00:25:16 Man with man.
00:25:17 - All right, all right.
00:25:19 - Fucking smarm.
00:25:21 - All right!
00:25:39 I've loved you too much,
00:25:41 That's what I've done wrong.
00:25:44 Driven uou awau, driven uou
00:25:48 That's what I've done.
00:25:50 Suppose I deserve it; must do.
00:25:56 Who'd have thought it, eh?
00:25:57 That you can love someone
00:26:07 I just don't understand
00:26:18 You're gonna miss me.
00:26:20 You've made a mistake.
00:26:21 You're gonna―
00:26:23 You're really gonna miss me.
00:26:27 And in a couple of days' time
00:26:32 oh, you'll regret that.
00:26:36 What an error.
00:26:38 You've messed up.
00:26:39 Boy, have you messed up.
00:26:40 And y-you know what?
00:26:43 When uou realize
00:26:46 how impulsive,
00:26:49 uou're gonna come
00:26:51 with your tail
00:26:53 begging me
00:26:56 And will I?
00:26:58 No, not on your nelly.
00:27:01 No.
00:27:03 Hang on, Colin.
00:27:07 You're lying to yourself.
00:27:09 'Course, you'll take her back.
00:27:12 I'll take you back, Liz.
00:27:15 I'll forgive you,
00:27:18 'cause that's
00:27:20 They―they overlove.
00:27:23 They love too much.
00:27:28 - It's not working between us.
00:27:31 Well, it's not working for me,
00:27:33 and it hasn't been working
00:27:36 - That's because you haven't
00:27:38 You haven't been doing your bit,
00:27:40 Love is like a garden,
00:27:42 and in order to keep it
00:27:44 you got to do the weeding,
00:27:46 and you haven't been doing
00:27:48 It's because you're lazy.
00:27:49 You're―
00:27:52 And now the garden is overrun.
00:27:55 It's a jungle, innit?
00:27:56 We're lost in the jungle,
00:28:01 - I don't feel like that, Colin.
00:28:03 I don't feel the same as you.
00:28:04 I just want to get out.
00:28:17 - Well, fuck off, then.
00:28:19 Go on, get.
00:28:22 I'll be all right,
00:28:24 I ain't gonna stop you.
00:28:25 Get your stuff and leave mine.
00:28:27 I'll attend to that.
00:28:30 You fuck off,
00:28:31 You're a traitor.
00:28:33 - Well, if you're gonna
00:28:34 - Don't you―
00:28:36 a nasty, unfaithful cow who
00:28:40 tell me―fucking tell me
00:28:45 Who is he?
00:28:46 - Does it matter?
00:28:48 - Who is he?
00:28:49 Tell me the cunt's name.
00:28:50 - He's just a guy.
00:28:52 - Oh, just a guu.
00:28:53 He's just a guy.
00:28:55 Not a bloke?
00:28:56 Not just a bloke?
00:28:58 He's a "guy. "
00:29:00 He's a cunt.
00:29:01 I'll cut his cock off
00:29:03 - Stop it, Colin.
00:29:04 - Oh, that's right.
00:29:06 Stick up for the cunt,
00:29:08 side of the "guy. "
00:29:09 Well, let me tell you
00:29:11 and mark my fucking words,
00:29:13 I will tear the flesh
00:29:16 and stick it
00:29:18 - Right, that's it.
00:29:20 We'll talk later.
00:29:22 - Where d'you think
00:29:24 You ain't going nowhere.
00:29:26 You think you can say that to me
00:29:29 Leave me with that?
00:29:31 Stick a bomb in my brain
00:29:34 Well, you can't.
00:29:37 Tell me his fucking name.
00:29:52 I caught her
00:29:54 Her head...
00:29:59 She fell, looking at me.
00:30:04 - Good boy.
00:30:06 - Good bou.
00:30:07 Not good boy.
00:30:10 I hit her so hard.
00:30:11 I heard her teeth rattle
00:30:15 She was laying there.
00:30:18 She wouldn't look at me.
00:30:23 "Tell me.
00:30:24 "Tell me his fucking name. "
00:30:28 But she wouldn't look at me.
00:30:31 - Well, she wouldn't,
00:30:32 She couldn't, could she?
00:30:34 - Too ashamed.
00:30:35 - I grabbed her by the throat,
00:30:38 "Tell me. "
00:30:40 "Tell me his fucking name. "
00:30:46 She said it.
00:30:47 She told me.
00:30:49 - Just like that?
00:30:50 - Brazen
00:30:52 - Cheeky cunt.
00:30:53 - Taking the piss, mate.
00:30:58 - Just like that,
00:31:05 - Ay, yi, yi, yi, yi.
00:31:11 - Straight in the heart.
00:31:20 - You hearing this?
00:31:21 What you've done?
00:31:23 What you're responsible for?
00:31:25 You proud of yourself?
00:31:28 Was it worth it?
00:31:31 All this pain?
00:31:35 - Fucked his wife.
00:31:37 Fucked his fucking wife.
00:31:40 You fucking wife-fucker, you.
00:31:46 You fucked his fucking wife,
00:31:51 Another man's wife.
00:31:53 You stupid?
00:31:55 Are you fucking thick,
00:31:59 Fuck another man's wife?
00:32:01 You don't do that.
00:32:03 You do that,
00:32:07 This.
00:32:09 This is where it ends.
00:32:11 You listening?
00:32:12 Are you hearing me?
00:32:14 Shitter.
00:32:15 Little shitter.
00:32:17 - You should have got
00:32:20 - You're in deep shit, mate.
00:32:23 You're in
00:32:24 a man can find himself.
00:32:27 When d'you wanna do this,
00:32:28 Come on.
00:32:32 Come on.
00:32:33 Get it fucking done.
00:32:35 What d'you reckon, eh?
00:32:37 Come on.
00:32:41 What we saying?
00:32:42 Yes? No?
00:32:44 Col?
00:32:47 It's up to you, mate.
00:32:48 You're the one in the cunt hat.
00:32:50 - It's about time, Colin.
00:32:52 - Get the fucker out here.
00:32:57 - Well?
00:33:04 - I got to find her.
00:33:15 - Well, don't look at me.
00:33:26 - What age is Liz, Arch?
00:33:30 - She's 42.
00:33:31 - Ah, 44.
00:33:33 - Fucking hell,
00:33:35 - How would you know?
00:33:38 - Peanut, would you like me
00:33:44 - Gorgeous woman.
00:33:47 Vivacious.
00:33:50 - You're not wrong.
00:33:53 - Beautiful face.
00:33:54 - Oh, lovely.
00:33:56 - It's a shame.
00:33:57 - That it is.
00:34:15 - She could be anywhere!
00:34:58 - Nah, that was Tommy Yardley,
00:35:01 He couldn't drive.
00:35:03 - Never stopped him, though,
00:35:04 - Beard?
00:35:05 - Yeah, that's him.
00:35:07 - Poof?
00:35:08 - No.
00:35:10 Who are you thinking of?
00:35:11 - He's thinking of Faraday.
00:35:12 He's been dead years.
00:35:13 - Faradau.
00:35:18 He was a gentle giant.
00:35:19 - He was only 5'4".
00:35:21 - I fucked him back in the '80s.
00:35:22 I'm telling uou,
00:35:25 - Did ua?
00:35:26 - Well, you do now.
00:35:28 - He was a very shy man.
00:35:30 I liked him.
00:35:32 - No, it's not that cunt
00:35:34 It was that other cunt,
00:35:37 pen and inked
00:35:39 - That's Dougie Clark,
00:35:42 the human stink bomb.
00:35:43 - I got a bone to pick
00:35:46 - You can't get close enough,
00:35:47 - No, not without a gas mask.
00:35:49 - Ain't he heard of a bath, eh?
00:35:51 An invention called a bath?
00:35:53 Can you imagine
00:35:55 - Oh, fucking hell, please.
00:35:57 Gonna make me sick.
00:35:58 - You wouldn't go there for
00:36:01 Imagine that.
00:36:03 - Just a time when we―
00:36:04 It ain't as if we didn't fuck.
00:36:06 Only just last week,
00:36:08 I mean, she wanted to.
00:36:10 She instigated it.
00:36:13 Aye, she did.
00:36:14 In fact, I didn't,
00:36:15 That's not what it's about.
00:36:17 It's about being close,
00:36:21 about being
00:36:24 I mean, why would she do that?
00:36:26 Why flush it all down
00:36:28 Why?
00:36:30 What a waste of time, energy,
00:36:35 What's it mean?
00:36:36 I mean, surely marriage
00:36:40 I mean, what's it all about?
00:36:42 I mean,
00:36:43 21 fucking years,
00:36:47 down the fucking plug hole,
00:36:48 up the fucking Suwannee, eh?
00:36:51 I mean, what are they gonna say?
00:36:55 What am I gonna tell 'em?
00:36:57 I mean, what does one
00:37:01 Fucking hell.
00:37:07 Mu poor babies,
00:37:10 I can't bear it.
00:37:13 I can't breathe.
00:37:17 I'm serious.
00:37:19 - Colin, stop it.
00:37:20 - I can't.
00:37:23 Can't breathe.
00:37:24 - No, you're just panicking.
00:37:26 - Help me.
00:37:27 - Calm down, mate,
00:37:28 You'll be all right.
00:37:30 - Someone!
00:37:31 - Is he all right?
00:37:33 - This is shameful.
00:37:34 Get a grip, you cunt!
00:37:36 - Mercy.
00:37:38 - Colin!
00:37:43 - Colin.
00:37:46 Look at me.
00:37:53 - That's it.
00:37:56 That's it.
00:37:57 - Yeah, talk him down, Meredith.
00:37:59 - You're all right, mate.
00:38:02 You're all right.
00:38:04 That's it.
00:38:06 Easy does it.
00:38:08 Fucking hell.
00:38:11 - Listen to me.
00:38:14 You're all right, right?
00:38:18 Listen to me.
00:38:21 You're a good man.
00:38:23 Got that?
00:38:27 Never forget that.
00:38:29 Cling to that.
00:38:31 You listening to me?
00:38:33 You've done nothing wrong.
00:38:34 You've been wronged.
00:38:35 You're in the right.
00:38:38 Remember that, right?
00:38:42 Right,
00:38:44 like that handsome,
00:38:48 - Easy. Easy.
00:38:51 Characters like that
00:38:55 to make you doubt yourself,
00:38:57 to hate yourself,
00:38:59 to turn your life upside down,
00:39:00 but it's times like this,
00:39:05 You listening to me?
00:39:06 You getting this?
00:39:07 - Yeah.
00:39:09 - Listen to me.
00:39:10 You don't disgust me.
00:39:11 You're not pathetic.
00:39:13 You're not weak.
00:39:15 You're normal.
00:39:17 You're human,
00:39:21 Right?
00:39:23 - That's right.
00:39:27 - Have you had this, Meredith?
00:39:30 - Me?
00:39:32 No, but I'm quite lucky.
00:39:33 I'm not―
00:39:35 I'm different to you.
00:39:37 I don't share your emotions.
00:39:40 I don't love like you do.
00:39:41 Maybe I should be a family man,
00:39:46 With me, sex is sex,
00:39:49 cold, hard, dark, and sweaty,
00:39:53 When I shoot my wad,
00:39:57 Put mu coat on,
00:40:01 No thank-yous.
00:40:02 No "I really enjoyed that. "
00:40:04 I leave the room,
00:40:08 But I can afford to do that.
00:40:10 I've got that luxuru
00:40:12 People are drawn to me.
00:40:13 Now, maybe I'm cowardly,
00:40:14 but I choose to live my life
00:40:19 without turmoil.
00:40:24 With me, it's the five Fs:
00:40:26 find 'em, follow 'em,
00:40:27 finger 'em, fuck 'em,
00:40:30 But uou possess
00:40:34 That's what makes you you.
00:40:35 You're more
00:40:40 Your capacity to love
00:40:46 but you should be proud of that.
00:40:48 It means you care.
00:40:49 You should be proud.
00:40:53 - Proud?
00:40:54 - Proud, that's what
00:40:57 - Why?
00:40:59 - 'Cause that's what
00:41:00 - Proud, you fucking pilchard,
00:41:03 Have a bit of pride.
00:41:06 - What would you do?
00:41:08 - About what?
00:41:10 - Well, everything,
00:41:17 - Well, I'd prioritize.
00:41:21 I mean, if it was me,
00:41:23 - Yeah, but if you was me?
00:41:28 - That's a big leap for me,
00:41:30 - Please, try.
00:41:34 - I'd toss a coin.
00:41:35 Heads, I'd skin him alive,
00:41:37 find her, do the same.
00:41:40 - And if it was tails?
00:41:42 - That's the hard part, Colin.
00:41:49 - No, I couldn't do that.
00:41:53 I mean, how can I do that?
00:41:57 I mean, let him go.
00:42:02 No, I don't think
00:42:05 - Let's hope it's heads then.
00:42:08 Who's got a coin?
00:42:10 - You're a nasty bastard,
00:42:13 - Am I?
00:42:14 - I got a 2p.
00:42:28 - Hang on, Colin.
00:42:29 A long 'un says it's heads.
00:42:32 - All right, you're on, yeah.
00:42:35 - Yeah, I'll have some of that.
00:42:38 - Nasty bastard.
00:42:40 - All right, go on, Col.
00:42:44 - " I get, ooh "
00:42:45 - " Chills and fever "
00:42:48 " Yeah, chills and fever "
00:42:52 " Ooh, chills and fever "
00:42:55 " Chills and fever
00:43:00 - " Chills and fever "
00:43:03 " Oh "
00:43:05 " Chills and fever "
00:43:07 " Whoa, baby! "
00:43:09 " Chills and fever "
00:43:10 " Chills and fever
00:43:13 " Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah "
00:43:15 " Oh! "
00:43:36 - Squeeze her tits, did ya?
00:43:39 - How was that?
00:43:40 - Do the trick, did it?
00:43:41 Get her going?
00:43:43 - Hand up her skirt
00:43:45 It's all right, innit?
00:43:47 - Loverboy.
00:43:48 - Wanker.
00:43:50 - Get it out, did ya?
00:43:51 - In the noddy?
00:43:53 - Spit and polish?
00:43:54 - I bet.
00:43:58 - Cop a feel?
00:43:59 - David Copperfield?
00:44:01 - Nice and wet, was she?
00:44:02 - Do you like that?
00:44:04 - You make me sick.
00:44:05 - Use a banana?
00:44:07 - Blimey O'Reilly.
00:44:08 - What's your secret?
00:44:09 Old Spice?
00:44:11 - Splash it all over?
00:44:12 - Now you're talking.
00:44:14 - Oh, yeah, golden shower.
00:44:16 - The erotic world
00:44:19 - So what was it, then?
00:44:21 Eyes meet across the room?
00:44:23 Crashing waves?
00:44:24 "I think I love you. "
00:44:25 "Will you marry me?"
00:44:27 "Oh, darling, forever. "
00:44:29 Bollocks.
00:44:32 Bum her, did you?
00:44:33 - Oh, dear.
00:44:34 - Kama Sutra?
00:44:36 - 99 Flake?
00:44:37 - Lickety split?
00:44:38 - Lick it. Lick it.
00:44:40 - The ol' Vaseline?
00:44:41 - Nice and easy.
00:44:43 - Plaubou.
00:44:44 - Arsehole!
00:44:45 - Cunt!
00:44:46 - Polaroids?
00:44:48 - Ah, that's handy.
00:44:50 - That looks nice.
00:44:52 - Terrible thing to do.
00:44:54 - Rock-hard Hudson.
00:44:56 - Upstairs, downstairs?
00:44:58 Round the back?
00:44:59 - Bull's-eye.
00:45:00 - You're a bit of a boy,
00:45:02 Bit of a fucking boy?
00:45:03 - Stud.
00:45:04 - That's 20th-century Casanova
00:45:06 sitting there in a plastic bag.
00:45:07 - Certainly is.
00:45:09 - Right rascal.
00:45:10 - Didn't use a candle, did ya?
00:45:12 Don't tell me that.
00:45:13 - He didn't, did he?
00:45:14 - Fucking did!
00:45:16 - Not love eggs?
00:45:17 That's awful.
00:45:19 - The man's a love machine.
00:45:21 - She's a mother!
00:45:25 That's somebody's mother,
00:45:28 She's got children.
00:45:30 - She's a wife!
00:45:32 Can't be off gobblin'!
00:45:33 - She's got a grieving husband.
00:45:35 That's him.
00:45:36 That's Colin.
00:45:37 - You've ruined him!
00:45:38 - He's a husk.
00:45:40 - He's shattered.
00:45:41 You've shat on him, you shit.
00:45:43 - That's his missus.
00:45:44 That was his missus
00:45:47 That was Liz.
00:45:48 That was his Liz!
00:45:49 That was his Liz you fucked.
00:45:52 That's Mrs. Diamond,
00:45:55 A married woman, you berk!
00:45:58 - And you a fucking waiter.
00:45:59 A fucking waiter!
00:46:02 A fucking frog waiter!
00:46:05 You cunting spunker.
00:46:09 You sorry fuck.
00:46:11 You'll be fucking sorry.
00:46:13 You thought yesterday
00:46:15 Today's gonna be
00:46:16 Yesterday was nothing.
00:46:17 I've been home, had a bath,
00:46:19 something to eat,
00:46:20 I got a life.
00:46:22 Been down the pub,
00:46:24 I had a drink.
00:46:25 And uou?
00:46:27 Locked in a fucking wardrobe.
00:46:29 Chucked in like a puppet,
00:46:30 like an unwanted toy.
00:46:31 You sack of shit.
00:46:35 I'm rolling up me sleeves.
00:46:36 Say your fucking prayers.
00:46:38 - I want to be alone with it.
00:46:45 - Is that a good idea?
00:46:50 - Yeah, all right, Col.
00:46:53 We'll leave you alone
00:46:55 Why not?
00:46:56 We'll have a fag
00:47:07 - You dare get emotional.
00:47:10 You dare get emotional.
00:47:12 Don't you dare.
00:47:13 Leave that out.
00:47:15 You hear me?
00:47:19 You kill him quick,
00:47:22 Got it?
00:47:23 - Peanut.
00:47:25 - Remember, he had your wife.
00:47:30 Nice and slow, boy.
00:47:33 Nice and slow.
00:48:04 - You thinking, ain't you?
00:48:06 Under that stupid bag,
00:48:09 I can hear it,
00:48:13 Well, let me have a stab
00:48:17 beside the obvious,
00:48:23 My guess is you're thinking,
00:48:27 "Why am I still alive?"
00:48:32 Is that right?
00:48:34 Is it?
00:48:37 Nod your fucking head
00:48:46 Thank you.
00:48:51 Well, I'll tell you
00:48:52 but this is strictlu
00:48:56 See, thing is,
00:49:00 which is stupid, I know,
00:49:01 but you see, with you dead,
00:49:04 Don't get me wrong.
00:49:06 I think you owe me that.
00:49:09 'Cause that's what
00:49:10 You fucking killed me.
00:49:15 But you see, with you dead,
00:49:19 she, Liz,
00:49:26 End of story.
00:49:29 But on the other hand,
00:49:32 well, maybe me and Liz,
00:49:40 Who knows?
00:49:47 You know, I don't even know
00:49:51 Well, it's all been
00:49:53 Last night,
00:49:55 what with the rage and that,
00:49:59 the disappointment.
00:50:05 Let's have a look at you.
00:50:47 You're not a bad-looking boy.
00:50:50 I can see the attraction.
00:50:55 Yeah, young, fit,
00:51:02 sexy.
00:51:05 I mean, be it if you don't
00:51:07 it's all a bit obvious,
00:51:08 All a bit of a cliché.
00:51:13 I mean, what was she thinking?
00:51:15 What a stupid woman.
00:51:20 You don't know
00:51:24 I'll bet she's never
00:51:29 Has she?
00:51:31 No, I thought not.
00:51:33 I mean, that's not
00:51:35 You just want
00:51:37 the magicalness of it all,
00:51:39 the false crap.
00:51:41 Well, I've got news for you,
00:51:43 That's not love.
00:51:45 I mean, love's hard work,
00:51:48 Love can be murder.
00:51:50 Love is watching what
00:51:55 taking her the papers
00:51:57 on a Sunday morning in bed
00:51:58 and inquiring
00:52:00 "You all right, Liz?
00:52:01 Want some plumping up
00:52:03 And she might get irritated
00:52:06 but you got to take it
00:52:08 have broad shoulders,
00:52:12 and you're the bee,
00:52:18 And so what
00:52:20 and you get no thanks for it?
00:52:22 Don't do it
00:52:24 That's not why you do it.
00:52:27 And, yes, you've forgotten
00:52:29 for the past five years,
00:52:32 for whatever reason,
00:52:35 you get off your fat arse,
00:52:36 and you find yourself
00:52:38 with a spanner in your hand,
00:52:42 because you know
00:52:45 And if she don't notice it,
00:52:47 It don't matter.
00:52:52 It's fixed.
00:52:55 It's the maintenance
00:52:57 the nuts and bolts,
00:52:58 the nitty-gritty,
00:53:01 That's life.
00:53:02 It ain't easy.
00:53:03 Nobody ever said
00:53:05 It's fucking hard work.
00:53:08 But you know,
00:53:16 lovely.
00:53:21 One day,
00:53:23 having a shave
00:53:25 You got soap on your face,
00:53:26 and you'll feel her approaching,
00:53:30 She's left a pair of tights
00:53:34 And as she leaves,
00:53:36 and give you a tiny smile,
00:53:40 but a smile nevertheless,
00:53:43 and it'll mean
00:53:47 the whole incredible world,
00:53:50 the fucking universe.
00:53:55 See, me, I'm old-fashioned.
00:53:57 I'm like the swan,
00:54:00 And then you come along
00:54:02 and you spoil it.
00:54:04 You spoilt my fucking life,
00:54:07 humiliated me,
00:54:10 degraded me.
00:54:12 You uglu cunt,
00:54:15 See, love is give and take,
00:54:17 give and take.
00:54:18 You took.
00:54:20 I'll give―
00:54:21 I'll give you such
00:54:23 in a minute, cunt.
00:54:24 Cunt!
00:54:30 Oh, you cunt.
00:54:48 I wet myself last night
00:54:50 'cause of you.
00:54:56 Cried myself to sleep.
00:54:58 Cried myself to fucking sleep
00:55:07 Look at me.
00:55:14 Look at me, you cunt.
00:55:17 Fucking look at me, you cunt.
00:55:20 Look at me, cunt.
00:55:21 Fucking look at me, cunt!
00:55:24 Look at me!
00:55:26 - How's your mum, Arch?
00:55:29 - Ah, she's―she's all right.
00:55:31 Fine.
00:55:33 Ah, had a bit of a scare
00:55:38 She fell out of bed
00:55:40 I didn't hear her.
00:55:42 Found her in the morning
00:55:44 Frightened the life
00:55:46 but you know,
00:55:48 Doc says it happens,
00:55:50 - She's tough, your mum.
00:55:52 - Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:55:53 She'll outlive me.
00:55:57 - Do you remember Samson?
00:55:59 Who remembers Samson?
00:56:02 - Had a pet shop
00:56:04 - No, the Bible, a strongman.
00:56:06 - Victor Mature.
00:56:09 Now, Oliver Reed,
00:56:12 Mamma Mia, what a shag.
00:56:13 Big fat back.
00:56:15 - He meets this bitch.
00:56:16 - Burt Lancaster,
00:56:19 - He falls in love
00:56:21 - And Paul McCartney,
00:56:23 - It's Sir Paul now, innit?
00:56:24 - Hedy Lamarr.
00:56:26 - Please, would you let me say
00:56:28 - That's who it was
00:56:30 - Yeah, in the film, yeah.
00:56:32 She's a cunt.
00:56:33 - Delilah.
00:56:34 - Yeah, right, hooer.
00:56:38 Oh, he's got
00:56:41 as was the style
00:56:43 and it's where
00:56:46 One night she's drugged him,
00:56:50 put a potion in his drink.
00:56:52 He's gone all woozu,
00:56:55 She's crept off
00:56:57 and she's come back
00:57:01 She's give him the full monty,
00:57:03 short back and sides.
00:57:06 Next morning, he's woke up.
00:57:08 He's going to the bathroom
00:57:10 looked in the mirror,
00:57:12 and he's flipped his lid,
00:57:15 He's gone apeshit!
00:57:17 - I've taken awau
00:57:19 - He's reached
00:57:22 only to discover
00:57:27 His strength was in his hair,
00:57:31 Couldn't even pick up
00:57:32 From then on,
00:57:34 fell apart.
00:57:36 They stabbed his eyes out,
00:57:38 stuck him in a dungeon,
00:57:40 whipped, lashed
00:57:42 His life was
00:57:45 All the while, see,
00:57:50 He's getting stronger.
00:57:52 She's come to visit him,
00:57:54 tries to make it up,
00:57:59 Well, he does sort of,
00:58:04 Now bu this stage,
00:58:07 His might's coming back,
00:58:11 And comes the dau of
00:58:13 He's well up for it,
00:58:15 bent on vengeance.
00:58:17 But he's got fuck-all on him:
00:58:20 no weapons, no nothing.
00:58:24 He's chained up
00:58:27 great thick pillars.
00:58:29 All the guests are taunting him,
00:58:32 calling him this and that,
00:58:34 And he thinks to himself,
00:58:39 Have some of this. "
00:58:40 And with his bare hands,
00:58:42 with his simple,
00:58:44 he pushed, and he's pushed,
00:58:47 pushed and pushed,
00:58:50 heaving and hoeing,
00:58:52 until the very foundations
00:58:55 start to crack, to yield,
00:58:59 And I'm telling ya,
00:59:00 theu built things proper
00:59:02 This was no mean feat.
00:59:04 And with one mammoth shove,
00:59:09 he's brought the whole caboodle
00:59:15 He's killed the whole fucking
00:59:17 - And himself.
00:59:20 - Well, and himself.
00:59:22 Well, he don't give a fuck about
00:59:25 And all because,
00:59:31 all because,
00:59:34 and all because
01:00:14 - You accept you've spunked
01:00:20 Note the prisoner
01:00:24 How do you plea?
01:00:26 Exactly, a sin.
01:00:30 Before we pass sentence,
01:00:32 have you got anything
01:00:34 No.
01:00:35 Take him away.
01:00:37 Come here.
01:00:41 - Colin!
01:00:46 Colin.
01:01:12 - I knew she'd show
01:01:15 - Here, Romeo,
01:01:16 The cavalry's arrived.
01:01:18 Can't you smell it?
01:01:19 - Bastards.
01:01:21 - Now, that's something
01:01:25 It's unbecoming.
01:01:26 - She wants her fucking mouth
01:01:29 - Joking, mate.
01:01:32 - You must all
01:01:34 - Not yet, we ain't,
01:01:37 - What have you done to him?
01:01:39 - Ah, that's all
01:01:42 Yeah, self-inflicted.
01:01:43 - He's a masherkist.
01:01:45 - A what?
01:01:46 - Masherkist.
01:01:48 Oh, uou must know
01:01:51 A masherkist!
01:01:52 - Don't say that word anymore,
01:02:00 - Mal, have you got a light?
01:02:03 - What?
01:02:13 - What are you doing?
01:02:17 - Giving her a light.
01:02:18 - Well, just give her it, then.
01:02:20 Don't have to be all that.
01:02:23 - Thanks, Mal.
01:02:35 - Here, Liz.
01:02:38 Here's a funny thing.
01:02:40 Last week, right,
01:02:45 down Bond Street.
01:02:47 I popped into this shop.
01:02:48 I said, "That's the pair I want,
01:02:50 those in the window in a ten. "
01:02:53 So he brings them to me.
01:02:54 I tries 'em on.
01:02:55 Beautiful,
01:02:58 Bit loud for this lot,
01:03:02 "I'll have 'em.
01:03:03 "£444."
01:03:05 So I'm counting out the money,
01:03:07 and I feel the assistant,
01:03:09 like his head's by my chin.
01:03:11 So I've eased him back a tad,
01:03:13 and I said,
01:03:15 And he's told me.
01:03:16 He's repeated it,
01:03:19 "Tell you what," I says.
01:03:20 "I'll give you £500 for them. "
01:03:23 "I'll bring you the box,"
01:03:25 but I've called him back.
01:03:26 "Never mind the box," I says,
01:03:30 "Right you are, sir," he says
01:03:33 - I know you hate me.
01:03:35 - Lovely shoes.
01:03:37 Hate you?
01:03:40 There's no hating,
01:03:42 not in this room.
01:03:46 - Those them?
01:03:47 - These are boots.
01:03:51 This was shoes.
01:03:53 Fancy a drink, Liz?
01:03:55 Sorry we ain't got a glass.
01:03:57 D'you mind the bottle?
01:03:58 - Up your arse?
01:04:00 Peanut.
01:04:03 That was uncalled for.
01:04:04 Do you forgive him?
01:04:06 - Why'd you give him £500
01:04:08 - Oh, you wouldn't understand.
01:04:09 - No, I don't.
01:04:10 - He was being flash.
01:04:12 - No, not at all.
01:04:15 - Is it true?
01:04:18 Is it true, Liz?
01:04:19 - Is what true?
01:04:21 - Is it true you're expecting?
01:04:24 - Is she?
01:04:25 - Could be.
01:04:26 Could be, Col.
01:04:28 Eh?
01:04:30 A little one,
01:04:32 - Shut up, you idiot.
01:04:33 - If it is true,
01:04:35 you're coming round my house,
01:04:37 bottle of gin,
01:04:39 and my Agnes'll take care of it
01:04:43 - Not exactly BUPA, is it?
01:04:46 - It's the way it's done,
01:04:48 what you do to amend.
01:04:50 - Now uou're just
01:04:53 He's just getting
01:04:54 - If she were mine,
01:04:57 - Like you've been stoning
01:04:59 - You bitch.
01:05:00 Bad-mouthing me.
01:05:02 You?
01:05:03 It's outrageous.
01:05:04 Colin,
01:05:06 beat it out of her.
01:05:09 Wha―if uou're not gonna
01:05:11 I'll do something.
01:05:12 - Like what?
01:05:14 - How dare you?
01:05:16 I'll mark your face forever.
01:05:18 I'll knock your―
01:05:21 - Come on, then.
01:05:23 What are you waiting for?
01:05:24 - Colin!
01:05:27 - No, don't rise to it, Pop.
01:05:28 - Eh?
01:05:30 - Yeah, you're right.
01:05:32 Why give her
01:05:34 Wouldn't give her the pickings
01:05:38 - He's not saying much, is he,
01:05:40 - He's keeping his head down,
01:05:41 hoping it will go away.
01:05:43 - Well, it won't!
01:05:45 - Oi, fishface,
01:05:48 Now she's looking at me.
01:05:49 Now she's looking at you again.
01:05:51 Do you see that?
01:05:52 How she went from love to hate
01:05:54 - Typical.
01:05:56 - Come on then.
01:06:00 Give her a look.
01:06:03 A look of love.
01:06:07 Oi, buggerlugs,
01:06:09 Am I talking to myself here?
01:06:12 Fucking look at her.
01:06:13 Look at her,
01:06:16 - Adulterer!
01:06:17 - Look at her.
01:06:18 - Stop it.
01:06:20 - Shut up.
01:06:29 By the way,
01:06:32 do you still love her?
01:06:37 There's your answer.
01:06:40 I think
01:06:42 Well, we've learnt something.
01:06:47 Fear is stronger than love.
01:06:49 - I knew that.
01:06:50 Everyone knows that.
01:06:53 - Do they?
01:07:01 - Should he be seeing that?
01:07:03 - Can't be favorite.
01:07:05 - They may as well be fucking
01:07:08 - Yeah, it's got to smart.
01:07:09 - You do not
01:07:11 tending to another man
01:07:14 That's husband-only stuff.
01:07:17 - It's quite beautiful, really.
01:07:20 - What you on about?
01:07:21 It's uglu.
01:07:22 Pornogrographic!
01:07:24 - It's like a painting.
01:07:27 Loverboy being tended
01:07:30 while spare prick Colin
01:07:33 Oil on canvas.
01:07:35 I think I might paint that
01:07:38 give it to Archie's mum
01:07:40 - Shut up.
01:07:42 Poor bastard.
01:07:44 - You all right, Col?
01:07:46 - I'm all right, Archie.
01:07:48 - What?
01:07:50 - I'm Archie.
01:07:55 - I'm Mal.
01:07:59 - Well, I'm not Colin.
01:08:01 - That's interesting.
01:08:03 - Eh?
01:08:05 - He's gone.
01:08:06 - Gone where?
01:08:08 Where you gone, son?
01:08:10 - There is no Colin.
01:08:12 No such man.
01:08:15 You remember Colin, don't you?
01:08:17 'Course you do, his kindness,
01:08:23 Couldn't do enough, could he?
01:08:25 Family man, proud.
01:08:28 His kids, his home, his wife.
01:08:31 How he used to make her laugh,
01:08:36 He met Colin, didn't you?
01:08:38 Last night.
01:08:41 Ah, he met Colin all right,
01:08:45 the man Colin.
01:08:47 - Yeah, he fucked
01:08:50 Fucked his fucking wife.
01:08:53 - What?
01:08:55 - What'd you say?
01:08:58 What'd she say?
01:09:00 - I said, "Given half a chance,
01:09:04 - Not now, I wouldn't.
01:09:05 - Well, when, then?
01:09:07 - Never.
01:09:10 What is this?
01:09:12 Fuck's sake.
01:09:16 The fuck is this?
01:09:20 Don't.
01:09:22 This ain't right.
01:09:24 What you trying to do?
01:09:25 Put me in a fucking wardrobe?
01:09:27 Hey, I ain't going
01:09:29 I refuse to go
01:09:32 All right?
01:09:33 Fucking making me out
01:09:34 - To be a what?
01:09:36 - Look,
01:09:37 She's beautiful.
01:09:39 She's horny.
01:09:40 Fucking Meredith said as much.
01:09:41 You'd have to be blind
01:09:45 Look, Colin, you've obviously
01:09:48 about something, but all I done
01:09:51 - I've told you.
01:09:53 I'm not Colin.
01:09:54 - Yeah?
01:09:59 He is.
01:10:13 Oh, fucking hell.
01:10:23 - What are you staring at,
01:10:27 Sitting there all superior.
01:10:30 Shut your mouth.
01:10:32 Shut your noise.
01:10:34 Shut your fucking eyes.
01:10:43 You're coming with me.
01:11:00 Well, this is it.
01:11:02 Here we are,
01:11:05 the master bedroom,
01:11:10 That's the bed.
01:11:11 See?
01:11:15 That's the bathroom,
01:11:17 Look, gold taps.
01:11:20 But don't worry about that.
01:11:22 Ignore that.
01:11:24 That's not why you're in here.
01:11:27 This is.
01:11:30 This.
01:11:31 Look.
01:11:33 Look, this, that.
01:11:37 That chest of drawers,
01:11:41 more treasure
01:11:44 Should we have a look inside it,
01:11:46 Yes, we fucking shall.
01:11:51 What's this?
01:11:54 It's her underwear.
01:11:56 It's all soft and warm
01:12:05 We'll put that back.
01:12:06 What's in this one?
01:12:10 Ah, now that looks
01:12:18 Bingo.
01:12:21 See this?
01:12:22 You see it?
01:12:23 You know what it is?
01:12:25 No?
01:12:27 It's a contract.
01:12:29 It's a marriage contract.
01:12:31 Do you know what it says?
01:12:33 "Mr. and Mrs. Colin Diamond. "
01:12:37 It's in black and white,
01:12:38 sure as the broken nose
01:12:42 "Married by law before God. "
01:12:46 Now, there's
01:12:47 We have to accept that.
01:12:51 Tell you what.
01:12:53 Let's put that to one side.
01:12:56 What else we got?
01:13:01 Here's the little man
01:13:05 Ah, don't he look handsome
01:13:07 and spats and all?
01:13:14 That's me.
01:13:16 That's how small
01:13:21 I'm gonna
01:13:23 where he's safe,
01:13:25 away from you.
01:13:39 What's happening, Meredith?
01:13:40 - I'm not Meredith.
01:13:44 - It's your nightmare, Col.
01:13:47 I'm only the chauffeur.
01:13:51 I'm in the drive
01:13:56 I can feel her eyes on me,
01:13:58 scorching through
01:14:00 but I'm damned
01:14:04 Think I'll have a fag.
01:14:07 It's hard work,
01:14:13 What do I smoke, Col?
01:14:14 - Ambassadors.
01:14:16 - Ambassadors?
01:14:19 All right, get the old, ugly
01:14:22 put one in the mouth,
01:14:24 yellow clipper,
01:14:25 light it,
01:14:28 lean on the bonnet,
01:14:29 puff away.
01:14:31 And she's still
01:14:37 Hang on.
01:14:38 You're playing this safe, Col.
01:14:40 I'm homosexual.
01:14:42 This is more Mal.
01:14:44 - Oh, fucking cheers, Meredith.
01:14:47 What am I doing here?
01:14:48 Is she looking at me?
01:14:50 Hold on.
01:14:52 She's licking
01:14:53 What's she doing that for?
01:14:55 That's a bit weird, innit?
01:14:57 Bloody hell.
01:15:00 That's wrong.
01:15:01 Take note, Colin.
01:15:03 This has nothing to do with me.
01:15:05 I'm simplu standing here,
01:15:08 having a break,
01:15:15 - Theu ain't looking for
01:15:16 by any chance, are they?
01:15:19 - Don't think
01:15:22 Don't think you'd be interested
01:15:24 - Why's that?
01:15:26 - Sounds all right.
01:15:28 - I'll be all right.
01:15:32 - What about me?
01:15:33 - Well, Col, since you ask,
01:15:36 you're the thing in the basement
01:15:43 Lies!
01:15:50 Tell me
01:15:53 - I don't love you.
01:15:54 - Come on.
01:15:55 I can take it.
01:15:57 Say you don't love me.
01:15:59 - I don't love you.
01:16:02 - Don't say that.
01:16:06 - What did you say?
01:16:08 - She don't love you, Col.
01:16:10 - You don't love me?
01:16:15 Not even a little bit?
01:16:21 You were my queen.
01:16:24 You were my rock.
01:16:28 I love you.
01:16:30 It's as simple as that
01:16:33 whichever it is.
01:16:34 I'm not sure. I don't―
01:16:37 I wish uou hadn't
01:16:39 I really wish
01:16:41 I just―I wish that we―
01:16:42 Shut your fucking mouth,
01:16:44 I'll rip your fucking arsehole
01:16:49 That we...
01:16:54 I just need uou
01:16:58 Surely I deserve something.
01:17:00 I mean, 21 years is a long―
01:17:04 a- a life...to dedicate.
01:17:09 Surely, Liz, please.
01:17:13 Something...
01:17:16 - Help me.
01:17:22 - What?
01:17:25 - Help me.
01:17:43 Help me.
01:17:57 Help.
01:17:58 Help me.
01:17:59 - Tell me his fucking name!
01:18:05 "
01:19:09 Oh, Liz.
01:19:15 "
01:20:22 - Yeah, massive, it was.
01:20:24 Massive head.
01:20:25 The size of it,
01:20:26 like a pumpkin.
01:20:28 Grotesque.
01:20:30 Well, it wasn't so much
01:20:32 It was his face.
01:20:33 It was sort of abnormally big,
01:20:37 The bone structure
01:20:39 rhinoceroussy―
01:20:40 and had grown out of proportion
01:20:42 because his skull―
01:20:45 you know, the top of it―
01:20:47 that was in actuality
01:20:49 It's no bigger than
01:20:51 but it was all pointy and all.
01:20:54 Yeah, the coroner said
01:20:56 He thought he'd found
01:21:00 - Sounds fucking horrible.
01:21:01 - No, the women loved him.
01:21:03 I mean, I don't know
01:21:05 but he was seemingly
01:21:09 supposedly a great laugh,
01:21:12 Well, you'd have to have one,
01:21:16 - And he was a good dancer,
01:21:18 - Yeah, ueah,
01:21:20 right little Gene Kelly.
01:21:24 Sad, though, top yourself
01:21:28 - Must have loved it.
01:21:30 - Yeah, well, animals
01:21:32 To the cat, he was beautiful.
01:21:40 - Well, come on.
01:21:43 This won't get
01:21:45 - Yeah, he's had enough time,
01:21:48 - What's the pillock doing?
01:21:50 - Oh, my arse
01:21:55 - The old numb bum?
01:22:18 - It's all
01:22:21 - So what do you reckon?
01:22:26 - Let's go in.
01:22:28 - Hope to Christ
01:22:32 - Don't hold your breath.
01:22:35 - What's been happening
01:22:38 - We any further forward?
01:22:39 - He's still with us, I see.
01:22:42 - Well, I'm gonna have a beer.
01:22:45 - Yeah, I'll have one.
01:22:46 - Nothing's happened.
01:22:49 Why has nothing happened?
01:22:51 Don't uou want
01:22:53 - Not looking like it.
01:22:54 - Lord love a duck.
01:22:56 I give up.
01:22:59 Streuth.
01:23:00 Fucking baby!
01:23:02 Milksop!
01:23:03 - Had any thoughts, Col?
01:23:09 - Col?
01:23:12 - Aye?
01:23:14 - Any thoughts?
01:23:16 - Thoughts?
01:23:17 - Yeah, thoughts.
01:23:19 - Oh, one or two.
01:23:22 - Oh, yeah?
01:23:25 - I'm letting him go.
01:23:27 - Do what?
01:23:29 You ain't.
01:23:30 - That's my decision.
01:23:31 That's what I've decided.
01:23:33 - Cobblers.
01:23:35 - Poppucock!
01:23:37 It's your call, Col.
01:23:38 Oh, "Call, Col,"
01:23:41 I'm tired.
01:23:42 - Lightweight.
01:23:43 - Well and truly
01:23:50 - So what we saying?
01:23:52 He's walking?
01:23:55 - He's free to go.
01:23:58 - Free to go?
01:24:00 Free to go?
01:24:03 Whu don't uou give him
01:24:05 while you're at it?
01:24:07 Let's have
01:24:09 Oh, I can hear Brighton Billy
01:24:14 Free to go!
01:24:16 - Oi, he's listening.
01:24:17 Look, his ears
01:24:19 He can't believe it.
01:24:20 - It's not too late
01:24:24 Think about it.
01:24:26 I'll do it for you if you like.
01:24:35 - And Liz, wherever she is,
01:24:40 Is she free?
01:24:51 Well, that's it, then.
01:24:55 - He's a very lucky boy.
01:24:58 You're a very lucky boy.
01:24:59 He fucking is very fortunate.
01:25:01 - Well, come on, then, Col.
01:25:03 Do the honors.
01:25:06 Some of us have got homes
01:25:09 - I'm really upset about this.
01:25:13 - You're free to go, mate.
01:25:20 You're free to go, mate.
01:25:27 Go on.
01:25:33 - Attaboy.
01:25:36 - Is he finding his land legs?
01:25:39 In your own time.
01:25:42 - Here, you.
01:25:46 Look at me.
01:25:50 Don't you go blabbing off now,
01:25:54 Good boy.
01:25:57 Now get out of my sight,
01:26:04 - Shut the door behind you.
01:26:12 - So, kittens, what we up to?
01:26:17 - Don't know.
01:26:19 - Peanut and me are going
01:26:22 Yeah.
01:26:23 - You never know.
01:26:25 - Does it do grub?
01:26:27 Ready for me breakfast.
01:26:29 - Do what you want.
01:26:31 You coming?
01:26:33 - Yeah, why not?
01:26:36 Be an eye-opener, won't it?
01:26:38 - Right, we ready for the off?
01:26:40 You want dropping off?
01:26:42 - Yeah.
01:26:44 - Yeah, if you like.
01:26:46 Col?
01:26:50 - I might catch you later.
01:26:54 - Well, so we're off now, yeah.
01:27:02 Cheerio.