|
Confessions of a Dangerous Mind
|
| 00:00:12 |
[Traffic sounds] |
| 00:00:25 |
I wouldn't want |
| 00:00:26 |
'cause he hasn't been happy |
| 00:00:28 |
All I think is, if you can |
| 00:00:31 |
find somebody to share it with, |
| 00:00:34 |
He's had some of the pieces |
| 00:00:36 |
but not all of them. |
| 00:00:39 |
BURGER: "I, Ronald Reagan, |
| 00:00:41 |
REAGAN: I, Ronald Reagan, |
| 00:00:44 |
BURGER: "That I will faithfully |
| 00:00:46 |
"of President of |
| 00:00:49 |
That I will faithfully |
| 00:00:51 |
[Tone blares] |
| 00:00:55 |
[Cartoon music playing] |
| 00:00:59 |
BARRIS: When you're young, |
| 00:01:04 |
You might |
| 00:01:07 |
You might be Einstein... |
| 00:01:09 |
you might be DiMaggio. |
| 00:01:13 |
Then you get to an age |
| 00:01:16 |
gives way |
| 00:01:19 |
You weren't Einstein. |
| 00:01:21 |
You weren't anything. |
| 00:01:23 |
That's a bad moment. |
| 00:01:38 |
[Knock on door] |
| 00:01:45 |
Chuck, it's Pen. |
| 00:01:48 |
[Peephole opens] |
| 00:01:49 |
CHUCK: Hey, Jesus. |
| 00:01:53 |
You wrote me your last letter |
| 00:01:56 |
CHUCK: Oh. It's great |
| 00:02:01 |
You look... you look beautiful. |
| 00:02:03 |
PENNY: This place is scary. |
| 00:02:05 |
CHUCK: Yeah. The human psyche. |
| 00:02:10 |
PENNY: I came to take you back |
| 00:02:13 |
CHUCK: Uh, no... |
| 00:02:15 |
PENNY: It's a lonely state |
| 00:02:18 |
CHUCK: I'm home, Red. |
| 00:02:27 |
I can't wait forever |
| 00:02:32 |
Well, apparently, I can, |
| 00:02:40 |
CHUCK: Uh... |
| 00:02:45 |
PENNY, CRYING: |
| 00:02:52 |
PENNY: You don't understand. |
| 00:02:56 |
I don't even know why. |
| 00:02:58 |
CHUCK: Oh, Penny... |
| 00:03:01 |
Penny, Penny, Penny. |
| 00:03:07 |
[Sighs] |
| 00:03:11 |
[Slow piano music playing] |
| 00:03:14 |
[Chuck closes peephole] |
| 00:03:22 |
CHUCK: Listen. I gotta go. OK? |
| 00:03:27 |
BARRIS: It was 1981... |
| 00:03:30 |
and I had loved myself up |
| 00:03:34 |
the Phoenix Hotel... |
| 00:03:36 |
terrified of everything, |
| 00:03:43 |
Until. Finally, |
| 00:03:47 |
might be in recording |
| 00:03:50 |
[Typing] |
| 00:03:51 |
Maybe it would serve |
| 00:03:55 |
and maybe it would help me |
| 00:03:59 |
When I was 11, |
| 00:04:02 |
with my sister's friend |
| 00:04:05 |
that left |
| 00:04:07 |
- Hey. |
| 00:04:08 |
- Tuvia. |
| 00:04:10 |
You want to lick it? |
| 00:04:12 |
[Scoffs] |
| 00:04:15 |
Well, for one thing, |
| 00:04:18 |
My sister tells me |
| 00:04:20 |
Yeah, well, |
| 00:04:23 |
CHUCK: No, I'm serious. |
| 00:04:24 |
It tastes exactly like |
| 00:04:26 |
TUVIA: Look, |
| 00:04:27 |
- Well, I bet you it does. |
| 00:04:31 |
CHUCK: I'll bet you a dollar. |
| 00:04:35 |
BARRIS: Tuvia... my first love. |
| 00:04:38 |
[Typing] |
| 00:04:40 |
Perhaps my whole life |
| 00:04:43 |
The repulsiveness |
| 00:04:45 |
by the taste buds |
| 00:04:49 |
What are you doing? |
| 00:04:51 |
Get off me! |
| 00:04:52 |
And so I found myself... |
| 00:04:54 |
in a downward spiral |
| 00:04:57 |
endlessly chasing pussy. |
| 00:04:59 |
[Doo wop music playing] |
| 00:05:00 |
[Loud kissing] |
| 00:05:03 |
My only focus in life |
| 00:05:06 |
tying to fool myself |
| 00:05:08 |
that given |
| 00:05:09 |
of circumstances |
| 00:05:11 |
maybe the Tuvias |
| 00:05:13 |
could desire me |
| 00:05:15 |
[Thwack] |
| 00:05:17 |
I only wanted to be loved. |
| 00:05:21 |
[Moans softly] |
| 00:05:26 |
CHUCK: No... |
| 00:05:27 |
[Sobbing] |
| 00:05:28 |
# Won't you tell me why # |
| 00:05:31 |
# I love # |
| 00:05:33 |
[Zips pants] |
| 00:05:34 |
# That girly so # |
| 00:05:36 |
[Kissing] |
| 00:05:38 |
# She doesn't want me # |
| 00:05:42 |
BARRIS: The constant |
| 00:05:44 |
led to bar fight |
| 00:05:51 |
[Faint laughter] |
| 00:05:56 |
TV ANNOUNCER: New York |
| 00:05:58 |
the only state |
| 00:06:00 |
from the Atlantic Ocean |
| 00:06:02 |
Directly across the avenue is... |
| 00:06:05 |
BARRIS: I had learned |
| 00:06:06 |
was an industry |
| 00:06:08 |
so I packed up and moved |
| 00:06:11 |
[NBC theme plays] |
| 00:06:13 |
[NBC theme plays] |
| 00:06:13 |
TOUR GUIDE: We began making |
| 00:06:17 |
and in 1953... |
| 00:06:18 |
NBC made the first ever |
| 00:06:22 |
during |
| 00:06:23 |
Now we'll have a look |
| 00:06:25 |
where they produce |
| 00:06:27 |
which NBC began |
| 00:06:31 |
CHUCK: Excuse me, miss. |
| 00:06:32 |
Do you know where I could apply |
| 00:06:35 |
TOUR GUIDE: Such as |
| 00:06:37 |
which you can tune into |
| 00:06:40 |
"The Nat King Cole Show"... |
| 00:06:42 |
which you won't want to miss, |
| 00:06:44 |
And hold on one second. |
| 00:06:48 |
OK. |
| 00:06:51 |
"The Lux Show" |
| 00:06:54 |
CHUCK: Which you can enjoy |
| 00:06:56 |
And of course, |
| 00:06:58 |
which delights us |
| 00:06:59 |
You may also be interested |
| 00:07:01 |
actually got his start in |
| 00:07:05 |
Ladies and gentlemen, |
| 00:07:06 |
MARY-ANN: |
| 00:07:08 |
He's kind of cute, huh? |
| 00:07:10 |
WOMAN: Cute is all |
| 00:07:12 |
but what you want is a man |
| 00:07:16 |
A go-getter on |
| 00:07:19 |
MARY-ANN: |
| 00:07:21 |
CHUCK: Yeah, management |
| 00:07:25 |
How many people have applied |
| 00:07:27 |
WOMAN: Let's see. |
| 00:07:30 |
- For how many positions? |
| 00:07:35 |
[Bell dings] |
| 00:07:38 |
Thanks, ma'am. |
| 00:07:46 |
BARRIS: Sometimes, |
| 00:07:48 |
I stretched the truth |
| 00:07:50 |
GEORGIA: Tell me again! |
| 00:07:51 |
CHUCK: Head of |
| 00:07:52 |
Head of |
| 00:07:55 |
I love you, |
| 00:07:58 |
management trainee. |
| 00:08:00 |
[Both moaning] |
| 00:08:04 |
BARRIS: Life was sweet... |
| 00:08:05 |
CHUCK: Uhh. |
| 00:08:10 |
For a minute. |
| 00:08:12 |
WOMAN ON TV: Everything's |
| 00:08:14 |
on madly interesting. |
| 00:08:17 |
I lope Sally never |
| 00:08:23 |
[Turns on faucet] |
| 00:08:29 |
I got fired today. |
| 00:08:31 |
Fired? |
| 00:08:34 |
Yeah, fired. |
| 00:08:36 |
GEORGIA: Fined? |
| 00:08:40 |
What the fuck |
| 00:08:42 |
CHUCK: I don't know. |
| 00:08:44 |
Some bullshit. |
| 00:08:50 |
I'm pregnant. |
| 00:08:58 |
So, I figured, |
| 00:09:02 |
I intend to be important, |
| 00:09:04 |
I can't be saddled with this. |
| 00:09:08 |
But then I remembered |
| 00:09:12 |
"Do the duty |
| 00:09:17 |
So you see... |
| 00:09:18 |
MAN: Who's Carlyle? |
| 00:09:23 |
Dear God. |
| 00:09:27 |
Fuck you, |
| 00:09:31 |
Pregnant? |
| 00:09:34 |
Yeah, pregnant. |
| 00:09:36 |
Fuck you. |
| 00:09:38 |
What the fuck |
| 00:09:39 |
Fuck you. |
| 00:09:41 |
What do you mean, what the fuck |
| 00:09:43 |
You got me fucking pregnant, |
| 00:09:46 |
Well, fuck you. |
| 00:09:47 |
Fuck you. |
| 00:09:48 |
- Fuckin'... |
| 00:09:51 |
Fuck. |
| 00:09:52 |
Fuck you. |
| 00:09:57 |
[Dramatic music playing |
| 00:10:02 |
GEORGIA: Looks like |
| 00:10:11 |
Oh, yes, we had a great time. |
| 00:10:13 |
The crew loved him |
| 00:10:16 |
Because it was crazy. |
| 00:10:18 |
And we could do anything |
| 00:10:21 |
and, uh, yeah, |
| 00:10:24 |
He was a good guy. |
| 00:10:26 |
Even though he's a prick, |
| 00:10:29 |
DICK CLARK: "What is |
| 00:10:32 |
"Wouldn't school be wonderful |
| 00:10:35 |
You need it. All right? |
| 00:10:36 |
GIRL: "Principal Sal Mineo. |
| 00:10:39 |
CLARK: Couldn't you see |
| 00:10:41 |
where Sal Mineo |
| 00:10:44 |
BARRIS: In '61. I had become |
| 00:10:46 |
It was during |
| 00:10:48 |
so my job was to commute |
| 00:10:51 |
to the "American Bandstand" |
| 00:10:53 |
to keep an eye on Dick Clark. |
| 00:10:55 |
CLARK: One more lady's choice |
| 00:10:57 |
and suppose we make it |
| 00:11:00 |
BARRIS: On weekends... |
| 00:11:01 |
I used to hang around |
| 00:11:03 |
because that's where |
| 00:11:06 |
I wrote a song |
| 00:11:10 |
# When you stop at the top |
| 00:11:12 |
I got it to |
| 00:11:15 |
through my friendship |
| 00:11:17 |
Dick nearly wanted |
| 00:11:20 |
CHUCK: Hi. |
| 00:11:21 |
- What? |
| 00:11:23 |
Oh. |
| 00:11:25 |
I wrote this song. |
| 00:11:27 |
Huh. |
| 00:11:28 |
It's number three |
| 00:11:32 |
- Uh-huh. |
| 00:11:37 |
I believe there's |
| 00:11:39 |
Uh-huh? |
| 00:11:41 |
So I'm gonna take my royalties |
| 00:11:44 |
A pilot's what they call |
| 00:11:47 |
I work in TV. |
| 00:11:49 |
Yeah? What's your name? |
| 00:11:51 |
- Debbie. |
| 00:11:53 |
CHUCK: So, You live in Philly? |
| 00:11:55 |
DEBBIE: |
| 00:11:56 |
CHUCK: |
| 00:11:58 |
I believe there's |
| 00:12:00 |
DEBBIE: Oh. That's good. |
| 00:12:01 |
CHUCK: Yeah. Everyone |
| 00:12:05 |
DEBBIE: I don't know. |
| 00:12:06 |
CHUCK: Well. They do. |
| 00:12:08 |
DEBBIE: |
| 00:12:09 |
CHUCK: Ha ha ha. |
| 00:12:12 |
[Sighs] |
| 00:12:24 |
PENNY: Hello. |
| 00:12:27 |
Hi. |
| 00:12:28 |
[Breathes in] |
| 00:12:31 |
CHUCK: Uh... don't be alarmed. |
| 00:12:34 |
Yeah, I figured that. |
| 00:12:37 |
Um, no, thanks. |
| 00:12:39 |
PENNY: Thirsty? |
| 00:12:41 |
Sure, if you have a beer or... |
| 00:12:52 |
How was sex with Debbie? |
| 00:12:55 |
It was good. Fine. |
| 00:12:58 |
No problem. |
| 00:13:01 |
I just got fucked |
| 00:13:03 |
a real righteous Negro hipster. |
| 00:13:05 |
Heh. Interesting. |
| 00:13:07 |
I'm into |
| 00:13:08 |
I fucked an Oriental last week. |
| 00:13:11 |
- What are you? |
| 00:13:13 |
I had one of those once, |
| 00:13:16 |
[Mispronounces] |
| 00:13:18 |
- Ashkenazi. |
| 00:13:20 |
I haven't had one of those yet. |
| 00:13:23 |
You're romantic. |
| 00:13:25 |
Yeah. I just don't get |
| 00:13:27 |
between cats and chicks. |
| 00:13:29 |
- I know what you mean. |
| 00:13:31 |
Besides, you just give |
| 00:13:33 |
and you get hurt. |
| 00:13:34 |
Don't I know it? |
| 00:13:41 |
PENNY: |
| 00:13:44 |
[Both laugh] |
| 00:13:46 |
CHUCK: Whoa-ho-ho. |
| 00:13:49 |
That would be good. |
| 00:13:50 |
Yeah, but... ha ha ha! |
| 00:13:53 |
I'm here with Debbie. |
| 00:13:57 |
[Laughing] |
| 00:14:02 |
That's true. |
| 00:14:07 |
Well, I'm going to bed. |
| 00:14:10 |
Hey, what's your name? |
| 00:14:13 |
I'm Penny. |
| 00:14:16 |
I'm Chuck. |
| 00:14:17 |
- Chuck Barris. |
| 00:14:19 |
Yeah, you wrote |
| 00:14:21 |
- I really like that song. |
| 00:14:23 |
Yeah, it's real sentimental |
| 00:14:25 |
CHUCK: Oh, right. |
| 00:14:27 |
["Palisades Park" playing] |
| 00:14:33 |
# Last night |
| 00:14:36 |
# A swingin' place |
| 00:14:39 |
# To have some fun |
| 00:14:43 |
# That's where |
| 00:14:45 |
# I took a hide |
| 00:14:47 |
# That girl I sat beside |
| 00:14:50 |
# After it stopped, |
| 00:14:55 |
# My heart was flyin' up # |
| 00:14:57 |
# Like a rocket ship # |
| 00:14:59 |
# Down. Like a roller coaster # |
| 00:15:02 |
# Back. Like a loop-the-loop # |
| 00:15:04 |
# And around, |
| 00:15:08 |
# We ate and ate |
| 00:15:10 |
# We danced around |
| 00:15:13 |
# And when I could. |
| 00:15:17 |
# In the Tunnel of Love # |
| 00:15:19 |
# You'll never know |
| 00:15:21 |
# When you stop at the top |
| 00:15:24 |
# When I fell in love # |
| 00:15:26 |
# Down at Palisades Park # |
| 00:15:29 |
# Whoa-oh-oh-oh # |
| 00:15:31 |
[People at park scream] |
| 00:15:33 |
[Song fades out] |
| 00:15:39 |
PENNY: Last night |
| 00:15:39 |
PENNY: Last night |
| 00:15:41 |
this ape and I are sitting |
| 00:15:44 |
and it was. Like, |
| 00:15:46 |
And then he started talking... |
| 00:15:48 |
but in a language |
| 00:15:51 |
[Laughs] Swiss, maybe. |
| 00:15:53 |
And then he turned into |
| 00:15:58 |
- What's wrong with you? |
| 00:16:00 |
PENNY: You know, |
| 00:16:02 |
doesn't mean |
| 00:16:04 |
CHUCK: [Laughs] OK. |
| 00:16:05 |
PENNY: I just wanted |
| 00:16:07 |
Nothing more complicated |
| 00:16:10 |
I'm just not used to |
| 00:16:13 |
Now we're a couple. |
| 00:16:14 |
Now I'm obliged to give |
| 00:16:16 |
PENNY: Don't worry. |
| 00:16:19 |
So anyway. The monkey |
| 00:16:23 |
and I say... |
| 00:16:24 |
- Holy fuck. |
| 00:16:26 |
CHUCK: Holy, holy fuck. |
| 00:16:28 |
You just gave me an idea |
| 00:16:31 |
PENNY: A show about monkeys? |
| 00:16:33 |
CHUCK: No, about people. |
| 00:16:35 |
About sex, about romance... |
| 00:16:37 |
about the bullshit of dating. |
| 00:16:40 |
I call it "The Dating Game"... |
| 00:16:43 |
and that's what it's about, |
| 00:16:46 |
A pretty girl |
| 00:16:49 |
who she can't see... |
| 00:16:52 |
and based on their answers... |
| 00:16:54 |
she picks one to date, |
| 00:16:58 |
That's it. |
| 00:17:05 |
CHUCK: Aah, Aah, Aah. |
| 00:17:08 |
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. |
| 00:17:11 |
- Hot damn! |
| 00:17:13 |
- They bought it. |
| 00:17:14 |
CHUCK: They bought it! |
| 00:17:16 |
They're giving me 7,500 |
| 00:17:19 |
PENNY: We gotta go celebrate! |
| 00:17:22 |
CHUCK: I can't. I got a date. |
| 00:17:23 |
PENNY: OK, cool. |
| 00:17:25 |
- OK. |
| 00:17:27 |
[Upbeat music playing] |
| 00:17:51 |
[No audio] |
| 00:18:20 |
BARRIS: I figured I was in. |
| 00:18:21 |
All I had to do |
| 00:18:24 |
[Camera clicks] |
| 00:18:25 |
and I'd be a millionaire. |
| 00:18:27 |
Everyone would love me. |
| 00:18:30 |
Was anyone even so young? |
| 00:18:33 |
- No. |
| 00:18:35 |
- No. |
| 00:18:36 |
- No. |
| 00:18:39 |
BARRIS: ABC didn't like |
| 00:18:42 |
They did like a show |
| 00:18:44 |
Whoa, whoa, whoa. |
| 00:18:46 |
CHUCK: Well, he led |
| 00:18:49 |
BARRIS: Hooter-fuckin'-nanny. |
| 00:18:56 |
PENNY: What do they know? |
| 00:18:57 |
That's long for a dog. |
| 00:19:01 |
I don't know. |
| 00:19:09 |
[Sighs] Uh-huh. |
| 00:19:12 |
It's nine years |
| 00:19:15 |
[Thump] |
| 00:19:18 |
[Bag rustles] |
| 00:19:21 |
CHUCK: Yeah. |
| 00:19:23 |
[Penny laughing] |
| 00:19:27 |
Uh-huh. |
| 00:19:28 |
I'm sorry about your show. |
| 00:19:30 |
What? |
| 00:19:35 |
Jesus, Phoebe, that's... |
| 00:19:37 |
Yeah. No, I'll hold on. |
| 00:19:38 |
- Is that your mom? |
| 00:19:40 |
Come here. Oh, yeah. |
| 00:19:44 |
Listen, Pen, I'm not... |
| 00:19:46 |
I want to tell you something. |
| 00:19:48 |
- A what? |
| 00:19:50 |
And she said that you are |
| 00:19:53 |
- Oh, really? |
| 00:19:56 |
- Tarot cards? |
| 00:19:59 |
Say that again, Phoebe. |
| 00:20:02 |
Tuvia? No, why would I |
| 00:20:07 |
- She did? |
| 00:20:10 |
- To Manhattan? |
| 00:20:15 |
Yeah. |
| 00:20:19 |
CHUCK: Uh-huh. |
| 00:20:24 |
Oh, your niece. |
| 00:20:25 |
CHUCK: Divorced? Really? |
| 00:20:27 |
I didn't know she got married. |
| 00:20:31 |
Yes? |
| 00:20:34 |
Hi, Tuvia. |
| 00:20:39 |
Well, if it isn't |
| 00:20:42 |
- What do you want? |
| 00:20:45 |
I'm back in town for a while, |
| 00:20:48 |
TUVIA: Jesus, |
| 00:20:49 |
CHUCK: We could go out |
| 00:20:51 |
He's so convincing |
| 00:20:53 |
when he's talkin' with you... |
| 00:20:55 |
he could convince you |
| 00:20:57 |
He's one of |
| 00:20:59 |
I'd like to have on my side |
| 00:21:03 |
CHUCK: You wanna fight, |
| 00:21:05 |
[Thud] |
| 00:21:06 |
[Grunting and shouting] |
| 00:21:18 |
You're a pretty angry |
| 00:21:20 |
Can't fight worth a damn, |
| 00:21:22 |
CHUCK: Hey. Screw off. Queen. |
| 00:21:24 |
Don't think I haven't seen you |
| 00:21:25 |
in that bar for a week now. |
| 00:21:27 |
Kind of a loner, I'd say. |
| 00:21:29 |
Fairly bright, |
| 00:21:31 |
Mad at the world. |
| 00:21:34 |
[Sighs] Look, there's |
| 00:21:37 |
Why don't you go trollin' there? |
| 00:21:40 |
JIM: I can teach you |
| 00:21:43 |
to kill a man with |
| 00:21:45 |
It might help |
| 00:21:47 |
Just a thought. |
| 00:21:50 |
Oh, and there's money in it... |
| 00:21:54 |
CHUCK: I figure |
| 00:21:56 |
until I come up with |
| 00:21:59 |
then all would be copacetic. |
| 00:22:01 |
That sounds great, Chuck. |
| 00:22:03 |
I've never known |
| 00:22:06 |
I'm impressed. |
| 00:22:07 |
[Chuckles] Yeah. OK. |
| 00:22:09 |
What's this money and a deal |
| 00:22:11 |
JIM: I work |
| 00:22:14 |
We're always looking for good, |
| 00:22:16 |
to help us carry out |
| 00:22:25 |
What kind of work? |
| 00:22:29 |
Problem-solving work. |
| 00:22:32 |
The Office |
| 00:22:34 |
[Laughs] Office of what? |
| 00:22:38 |
Is that the fuckin' CIA |
| 00:22:40 |
Ha ha ha ha ha! |
| 00:22:43 |
JIM: Please be discreet, |
| 00:22:58 |
[Whispers] Jesus. |
| 00:23:00 |
Is this the fuckin' CIA? |
| 00:23:04 |
Yeah. Hell, I'll be a spy. |
| 00:23:06 |
Where do I sign up? |
| 00:23:08 |
You're fuckin' with me, |
| 00:23:10 |
JIM: Hardly. |
| 00:23:11 |
And you wouldn't be working |
| 00:23:13 |
You'd be an independent |
| 00:23:16 |
Independent. |
| 00:23:18 |
No official tie to any agency. |
| 00:23:21 |
Understand? |
| 00:23:26 |
Why me? |
| 00:23:29 |
Well, as you know, |
| 00:23:31 |
For quite some time, actually. |
| 00:23:33 |
I've only let you know about it |
| 00:23:36 |
I'm happy to report |
| 00:23:41 |
Are you interested in the work? |
| 00:23:46 |
What's the profile? |
| 00:23:47 |
JIM: Are you interested |
| 00:23:51 |
Yeah, sure. |
| 00:23:54 |
A contract agent, whatever. |
| 00:23:55 |
Get to fuck beautiful |
| 00:23:58 |
What we do is very serious, |
| 00:24:00 |
It's essential in quelling |
| 00:24:03 |
and allowing democracy |
| 00:24:06 |
around the globe. |
| 00:24:08 |
You understand? |
| 00:24:11 |
Uh... sure. |
| 00:24:14 |
Yeah, uh... |
| 00:24:15 |
Yeah, OK. That's good. |
| 00:24:18 |
[Clears throat] |
| 00:24:33 |
INSTRUCTOR: There are |
| 00:24:36 |
for killing a man... |
| 00:24:38 |
were you to find yourself |
| 00:24:40 |
The edge of your hand... |
| 00:24:43 |
against your adversary's |
| 00:24:45 |
This will crush his windpipe... |
| 00:24:48 |
causing strangulation... |
| 00:24:51 |
and death. |
| 00:24:55 |
Hyuhh! |
| 00:24:56 |
[Man gagging] |
| 00:24:58 |
Shit! |
| 00:25:01 |
I need another volunteer. |
| 00:25:03 |
[Man gasping] |
| 00:25:05 |
You're training me |
| 00:25:08 |
See, Chuck? |
| 00:25:10 |
I'm not killin' people. |
| 00:25:13 |
You're 32 years old, |
| 00:25:17 |
Jesus Christ was dead |
| 00:25:20 |
You better get crackin'. |
| 00:25:21 |
- I have ideas for shows. |
| 00:25:23 |
Why don't you spend another |
| 00:25:25 |
while you're staring |
| 00:25:27 |
waiting for |
| 00:25:30 |
How do you know all this? |
| 00:25:31 |
I know everything |
| 00:25:33 |
I know which hand |
| 00:25:35 |
Left. Leave in the morning, |
| 00:25:39 |
I'm here to tell you, this is |
| 00:25:42 |
You're making |
| 00:25:44 |
and your country |
| 00:25:47 |
It'll toughen you up. |
| 00:25:50 |
CHUCK: Wait a second! |
| 00:25:52 |
Hey, we gotta talk about this. |
| 00:25:55 |
BARRIS: And there it was... |
| 00:25:59 |
I wasn't just gonna work |
| 00:26:02 |
I was gonna kill for them. |
| 00:26:06 |
Call it patriotism. |
| 00:26:08 |
[Gunfire] |
| 00:26:10 |
[Dramatic music playing] |
| 00:26:50 |
Glycerin is, of course... |
| 00:26:51 |
the best known nitrating agent. |
| 00:26:55 |
Keep in mind, though, |
| 00:27:00 |
is extremely unstable. |
| 00:27:04 |
A slight tap... |
| 00:27:06 |
a one-degree change |
| 00:27:10 |
and it'll blow up |
| 00:27:16 |
So, let's mix us up a batch! |
| 00:27:19 |
Everybody take |
| 00:27:22 |
and fill it up |
| 00:27:24 |
with red-hot |
| 00:27:27 |
98% concentration. |
| 00:27:32 |
The field phone... |
| 00:27:34 |
used as an instrument |
| 00:27:37 |
or torture. |
| 00:27:40 |
[Electricity crackles] |
| 00:27:43 |
Attaching firmly |
| 00:27:47 |
[Fizzing and popping] |
| 00:27:49 |
Hey, Ivan! |
| 00:27:51 |
Are you now, |
| 00:27:54 |
a member |
| 00:27:55 |
What's your Aunt Tillie's |
| 00:27:59 |
[Laughs] |
| 00:28:10 |
All right, Jack. |
| 00:28:12 |
Take care, Lee. |
| 00:28:35 |
[Starts engine] |
| 00:28:40 |
I know a lot about him |
| 00:28:42 |
I can't tell you. |
| 00:28:44 |
Yeah. |
| 00:28:45 |
I know some things about him |
| 00:28:50 |
and, um... |
| 00:28:51 |
and you wouldn't want |
| 00:28:55 |
[Music playing] |
| 00:29:08 |
CHUCK: So. What did |
| 00:29:10 |
It's your job |
| 00:29:12 |
not question their validity. |
| 00:29:14 |
CHUCK: Uh... oh. |
| 00:29:17 |
No hablo inglés. |
| 00:29:18 |
¿ Ra-blah-blah |
| 00:29:20 |
[Speaks Spanish] |
| 00:29:22 |
¿ Ra-blah-blah |
| 00:29:24 |
Hermano, help me, please. |
| 00:29:26 |
- Señor. No habla inglés. |
| 00:29:29 |
BENITEZ: |
| 00:29:31 |
JIM: He's a bad guy. |
| 00:29:32 |
He's one of the bad guys. |
| 00:29:36 |
Bad for the U.S., right, Jim? |
| 00:29:38 |
Not bad in an absolute sense, |
| 00:29:40 |
Don't fuckin' dance with me. |
| 00:29:42 |
Renda's bad for |
| 00:29:44 |
He's bad for me personally. |
| 00:29:46 |
You work for me. |
| 00:29:48 |
You're now officially |
| 00:29:51 |
of the United States |
| 00:29:52 |
There's no backing out now. |
| 00:29:55 |
You don't play, |
| 00:29:57 |
Understand that? |
| 00:30:05 |
JIM: I like you. I do. |
| 00:30:07 |
And you're gonna do fine |
| 00:30:09 |
and we're gonna become |
| 00:30:17 |
You can have |
| 00:30:18 |
but you have to grow up. |
| 00:30:28 |
[Starts engine] |
| 00:30:42 |
[Insects buzzing] |
| 00:30:48 |
["Star Spangled Banner" playing] |
| 00:31:04 |
JIM: Beautiful country, |
| 00:31:06 |
CHUCK: Yeah. |
| 00:31:09 |
You did us proud today, Chuck. |
| 00:31:13 |
Renda was a bad guy. |
| 00:31:21 |
[Chuck vomiting] |
| 00:31:25 |
Chuck, is that you? |
| 00:31:26 |
Chuck, is that you? |
| 00:31:27 |
Jesus Christ, Pen! |
| 00:31:31 |
- Were you throwing up? |
| 00:31:32 |
I've been crashing here |
| 00:31:33 |
I've been waiting for you. |
| 00:31:35 |
Mexico. I was just |
| 00:31:37 |
You didn't drink the water, |
| 00:31:39 |
- Yeah. |
| 00:31:42 |
That's Montessori's revenge. |
| 00:31:43 |
- Montezuma's. |
| 00:31:45 |
You can't even open your eyes |
| 00:31:47 |
when you take a shower there. |
| 00:31:48 |
Why is our water so good, |
| 00:31:51 |
- It's in the same ocean. |
| 00:31:54 |
- Oh! |
| 00:31:57 |
Um... I'm a hippie now. |
| 00:32:00 |
[Both laugh] |
| 00:32:02 |
Wow. Great. |
| 00:32:04 |
I've been to San Francisco, |
| 00:32:06 |
[Snaps fingers] |
| 00:32:08 |
and there's so many colors. |
| 00:32:09 |
And we're gonna change |
| 00:32:11 |
[Snaps fingers] |
| 00:32:13 |
Will you come back there |
| 00:32:16 |
Ha ha! Well, not that old. |
| 00:32:19 |
Penny, I'm a little |
| 00:32:21 |
Oh, wait, wait. |
| 00:32:29 |
["Sunshine Superman" playing] |
| 00:32:44 |
DONOVAN: |
| 00:32:46 |
# Through my window today... # |
| 00:32:49 |
CHUCK: Penny, |
| 00:32:53 |
Some guy called... Gold bird. |
| 00:32:56 |
Gold bird. Larry Goldberg? |
| 00:32:59 |
You're kidding me! |
| 00:33:01 |
Hi. This is Chuck Barris |
| 00:33:05 |
- Hi, Chuck. |
| 00:33:08 |
I'm so sorry I didn't |
| 00:33:10 |
I was out of town. |
| 00:33:12 |
Good for you. |
| 00:33:13 |
Listen, I'm sitting here |
| 00:33:15 |
and I have a hole |
| 00:33:18 |
I think it might be right |
| 00:33:20 |
My baby, Mr. Goldberg? |
| 00:33:21 |
Chuck, "Dating Game." |
| 00:33:25 |
- Yes, sir, it is. |
| 00:33:27 |
Yes, sir. |
| 00:33:29 |
I've got six weeks |
| 00:33:31 |
Is that doable |
| 00:33:32 |
My people? Six weeks? |
| 00:33:37 |
Give me a call when |
| 00:33:41 |
Oh, goddamn. |
| 00:33:44 |
Hot dog. |
| 00:33:48 |
PENNY: Who's Larry Goldberg? |
| 00:33:51 |
[Stomach gurgles] |
| 00:33:53 |
[Applause] |
| 00:33:57 |
Bachelor number one... |
| 00:33:58 |
what would |
| 00:34:01 |
I'm very romantic... |
| 00:34:04 |
and I'd send you |
| 00:34:07 |
BACHELORETTE: |
| 00:34:09 |
Bachelor number three. What |
| 00:34:13 |
My big cock. |
| 00:34:15 |
[Laughter] |
| 00:34:17 |
[Light applause] |
| 00:34:21 |
[Laughs] |
| 00:34:23 |
BACHELORETTE: |
| 00:34:25 |
what nationality are you? |
| 00:34:27 |
BACHELOR NUMBER ONE: |
| 00:34:31 |
my mama's Hunganian... |
| 00:34:32 |
so I guess |
| 00:34:36 |
[Laughter] |
| 00:34:39 |
Bachelor number two... |
| 00:34:41 |
I play the trombone. |
| 00:34:43 |
If I blew you, |
| 00:34:47 |
BACHELOR NUMBER TWO: |
| 00:34:49 |
[Laughs] |
| 00:34:50 |
All right. Ooh. |
| 00:34:54 |
Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. |
| 00:34:59 |
Ooh. Ooh. |
| 00:35:03 |
Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. |
| 00:35:06 |
Ooh. |
| 00:35:08 |
That's nice. Don't stop. Oh. |
| 00:35:11 |
[Imitates trombone] |
| 00:35:17 |
Blow it. Baby. |
| 00:35:19 |
[Imitates trombone |
| 00:35:25 |
[Shoes squeak] |
| 00:35:26 |
CHUCK: Heh heh. |
| 00:35:28 |
Chuck, quite frankly, |
| 00:35:33 |
CHUCK: Look, Larry, |
| 00:35:36 |
It's unscripted. |
| 00:35:39 |
I can't help what people say. |
| 00:35:41 |
HANK: Be that as it may, |
| 00:35:43 |
getting blow jobs |
| 00:35:45 |
The point is not |
| 00:35:47 |
HANK: Well, I know that. |
| 00:35:49 |
GOLDBERG: Chuck. That's it. |
| 00:35:51 |
If you can't retain |
| 00:35:54 |
without this lewd conduct, |
| 00:35:55 |
It's finished. |
| 00:35:58 |
Now, fix this fucking thing, |
| 00:36:04 |
Hi, folks. |
| 00:36:07 |
I'd like to introduce you |
| 00:36:09 |
of the Federal |
| 00:36:11 |
OK? |
| 00:36:17 |
Thank you, Mr. Barris. |
| 00:36:32 |
I don't know if any of you |
| 00:36:40 |
but it's a federal offense... |
| 00:36:42 |
to make lascivious remarks... |
| 00:36:45 |
on a television |
| 00:36:51 |
The penalty... |
| 00:36:56 |
for this disgusting... |
| 00:37:01 |
un-American... behavior... |
| 00:37:06 |
is one year in prison... |
| 00:37:09 |
or a $10,000 fine... |
| 00:37:12 |
or both! |
| 00:37:16 |
Anyone... |
| 00:37:19 |
making a sick subversive |
| 00:37:23 |
will be arrested immediately. |
| 00:37:25 |
l, then, |
| 00:37:27 |
the offender |
| 00:37:28 |
for booking |
| 00:37:31 |
of the Broadcasting Act |
| 00:37:35 |
And it's a long drive |
| 00:37:40 |
Just you and me. |
| 00:37:42 |
No witnesses: |
| 00:38:02 |
CHUCK: |
| 00:38:04 |
All right. |
| 00:38:05 |
They gave everybody jackets |
| 00:38:08 |
and when we got number one |
| 00:38:12 |
everybody got a gold plaque. |
| 00:38:13 |
And so, he was a good boss... |
| 00:38:16 |
and obviously |
| 00:38:18 |
because he really knew |
| 00:38:21 |
BARRIS: We aired |
| 00:38:24 |
A phenomenon. Nearly. |
| 00:38:26 |
CHUCK: Hey, baby. |
| 00:38:29 |
[Sighs] |
| 00:38:31 |
- Asshole. |
| 00:38:33 |
Uhh. I got |
| 00:38:36 |
LORETTA: I'm busy. |
| 00:38:37 |
of a bachelorette crisis |
| 00:38:39 |
CHUCK: Sit down, relax. |
| 00:38:40 |
Take a load off. |
| 00:38:43 |
I just got a call |
| 00:38:44 |
- You want a drink? |
| 00:38:46 |
CHUCK: I wish. No. No weed. |
| 00:38:49 |
Then I'll have a drink. |
| 00:38:50 |
[Chuck sighs] |
| 00:38:51 |
LORETTA: Bad news? |
| 00:38:52 |
"The Tammy Grimes Show" is being |
| 00:38:55 |
- Oh, not Tammy. |
| 00:38:58 |
They want me to put |
| 00:39:00 |
of "The Dating Game" |
| 00:39:04 |
- That's fucking great. |
| 00:39:06 |
but they say the daytime version |
| 00:39:08 |
They want me to make it |
| 00:39:10 |
I got 48 hours. |
| 00:39:13 |
LORETTA: What have you got? |
| 00:39:15 |
[Sighs] |
| 00:39:17 |
I don't have a clue. |
| 00:39:19 |
This is a big deal, Loretta. |
| 00:39:23 |
I know. [Exhales] |
| 00:39:28 |
- Don't blow it. |
| 00:39:35 |
[Sighs] |
| 00:39:39 |
[Slow jazz music playing] |
| 00:39:53 |
JIM: Let me |
| 00:39:54 |
Jesus. What the... |
| 00:39:57 |
JIM: |
| 00:39:59 |
of a fairly large |
| 00:40:01 |
and I could use your help. |
| 00:40:03 |
[Scoffs] |
| 00:40:07 |
Have you noticed, Jim? |
| 00:40:08 |
I don't need to kill people |
| 00:40:10 |
I know you don't need to, |
| 00:40:13 |
Bullshit. |
| 00:40:15 |
Think of it as a hobby... |
| 00:40:18 |
You can be |
| 00:40:21 |
a murder bug. |
| 00:40:22 |
I got important things |
| 00:40:24 |
I don't have time |
| 00:40:25 |
This is serious work |
| 00:40:27 |
serious work. |
| 00:40:29 |
How about I help you out |
| 00:40:32 |
you help me out |
| 00:40:34 |
Tit for tat. |
| 00:40:35 |
Oh, yeah. |
| 00:40:38 |
I've seen this "Dating Game" |
| 00:40:40 |
and I do have a thought. |
| 00:40:41 |
What, now you're |
| 00:40:44 |
JIM: I'm John Q. Public |
| 00:40:46 |
and that should make my opinion |
| 00:40:50 |
CHUCK: All right, |
| 00:40:53 |
JIM: What do you have? |
| 00:40:55 |
to some second-rate |
| 00:40:57 |
setting you back 50 bucks? |
| 00:40:59 |
That's not |
| 00:41:01 |
for us vicarious living boobs |
| 00:41:03 |
- What's your point? |
| 00:41:06 |
Send them |
| 00:41:08 |
Europe, Southeast Asia, |
| 00:41:13 |
The network's not going |
| 00:41:14 |
two unmarried kids |
| 00:41:16 |
JIM: Send them with a chaperone. |
| 00:41:21 |
CHUCK: That's... |
| 00:41:27 |
That's not half bad. |
| 00:41:28 |
JIM: I'm telling you. |
| 00:41:30 |
Sometimes you could be |
| 00:41:33 |
Say we have a job |
| 00:41:35 |
You, a successful |
| 00:41:38 |
chaperones a young couple. |
| 00:41:40 |
While there, you take care |
| 00:41:42 |
It's a perfect cover. |
| 00:41:44 |
TV producer by day, |
| 00:41:47 |
I got money, Jim. |
| 00:41:48 |
I don't have to kill people |
| 00:41:51 |
Chuck, when I said |
| 00:41:53 |
very little of that meant |
| 00:41:56 |
You liked it with Renda. |
| 00:42:00 |
You liked it, |
| 00:42:05 |
You could be |
| 00:42:07 |
BACHELORETTE: |
| 00:42:09 |
if we were fixed up |
| 00:42:11 |
and I ignored you... |
| 00:42:12 |
DIRECTOR: This guy's |
| 00:42:15 |
[Snaps fingers] |
| 00:42:17 |
Well, I'm not used |
| 00:42:19 |
but I would... |
| 00:42:21 |
The only date this guy's |
| 00:42:24 |
[Both laugh] |
| 00:42:26 |
Ready, one. Take one. |
| 00:42:28 |
[Audience laughing] |
| 00:42:30 |
Bachelor number three, |
| 00:42:34 |
DIRECTOR: |
| 00:42:36 |
Ready. Four. Take four. |
| 00:42:38 |
The only way |
| 00:42:40 |
is by what you say or do. |
| 00:42:43 |
I don't know. |
| 00:42:45 |
I think you're beautiful. |
| 00:42:46 |
DIRECTOR: I can't believe it. |
| 00:42:47 |
BACHELORETTE: |
| 00:42:48 |
can you please tell me |
| 00:42:50 |
who las never been |
| 00:42:52 |
and low you can tell? |
| 00:42:55 |
Well... I'll ask her |
| 00:42:59 |
and if she doesn't know what |
| 00:43:03 |
then I'll know |
| 00:43:05 |
[Applause] |
| 00:43:06 |
[Game show music playing] |
| 00:43:18 |
BACHELOR NUMBER THREE: |
| 00:43:20 |
You can do that. |
| 00:43:25 |
You have to tell her. |
| 00:43:27 |
Tell her that I think |
| 00:43:30 |
and I want |
| 00:43:34 |
I'm shy, too. |
| 00:43:36 |
You got to tell her that, Chuck. |
| 00:43:38 |
I used to skate |
| 00:43:39 |
I told her that. |
| 00:43:42 |
You got to talk to her, Chuck. |
| 00:43:44 |
She picked me, |
| 00:43:48 |
You're the chaperone, Chuck. |
| 00:43:54 |
She called me gay. |
| 00:43:56 |
I'm not gay. |
| 00:43:59 |
You're not doing your job |
| 00:44:02 |
I mean, |
| 00:44:03 |
for people to get |
| 00:44:04 |
but this is ridiculous. |
| 00:44:07 |
They thought he was... |
| 00:44:10 |
They sort of walked |
| 00:44:12 |
because they used to talk |
| 00:44:14 |
saying, you know, |
| 00:44:17 |
You know, |
| 00:44:19 |
but a lot of the crew thought |
| 00:44:22 |
Chuck? |
| 00:44:27 |
[Slow jazz music playing] |
| 00:44:29 |
JIM: Helsinki is wonderful |
| 00:44:32 |
Especially the snow. |
| 00:44:36 |
It affords one solitude... |
| 00:44:38 |
even in a city full of people. |
| 00:44:54 |
Excuse me. |
| 00:44:58 |
By you. |
| 00:45:03 |
[Sighs] |
| 00:45:06 |
Helsinki is wonderful |
| 00:45:10 |
Yes, it is. |
| 00:45:19 |
Oh, I'm sorry. Um... |
| 00:45:31 |
Excuse me. |
| 00:45:45 |
Helsinki is wonderful |
| 00:45:49 |
Especially the snow. |
| 00:45:53 |
even in a city full of people. |
| 00:45:54 |
Hey... |
| 00:45:58 |
I'm Chuck. Ahem. |
| 00:46:01 |
So I gathered. |
| 00:46:03 |
CHUCK: And you are? |
| 00:46:07 |
Here you are, Chuck. |
| 00:46:11 |
At least give me |
| 00:46:13 |
something for me to cry out... |
| 00:46:16 |
during those dark nights |
| 00:46:22 |
Cry out, "Olivia." |
| 00:46:26 |
That's "Twelfth Night." |
| 00:46:28 |
Very good, Chuck. |
| 00:46:30 |
I'm pleasantly surprised. |
| 00:46:33 |
You're not like |
| 00:46:48 |
[Dramatic music playing] |
| 00:46:53 |
MAN: Here. |
| 00:46:55 |
CHUCK: Do you have it? |
| 00:46:57 |
- Do you have it? |
| 00:47:05 |
CHUCK: Don't worry. |
| 00:47:07 |
MAN: Year. Just the same. |
| 00:47:08 |
- Unh! |
| 00:47:11 |
[Fires with silencer] |
| 00:47:12 |
[Body falls] |
| 00:47:13 |
[Fires with silencer] |
| 00:47:26 |
Chuck? |
| 00:47:31 |
Chuck? |
| 00:47:57 |
[Music fades] |
| 00:48:00 |
[Exhaling, whistling] |
| 00:48:07 |
[Hums] |
| 00:48:09 |
[Beethoven's |
| 00:48:16 |
CHUCK: Olivia? |
| 00:48:22 |
It's Patricia, actually. |
| 00:48:26 |
PATRICIA: So. Then I spent |
| 00:48:28 |
inside the anti-war movement... |
| 00:48:30 |
nudging it towards violence |
| 00:48:33 |
That was fun. |
| 00:48:34 |
CHUCK: It sounds fun. |
| 00:48:38 |
So, tell me, Patricia, |
| 00:48:44 |
Ahem. |
| 00:48:45 |
I don't know. |
| 00:48:48 |
You're kind of cute |
| 00:48:54 |
It's lonely when |
| 00:48:56 |
calls out the name |
| 00:48:59 |
CHUCK: All the information |
| 00:49:01 |
is from forged documents. |
| 00:49:07 |
Nabokov. |
| 00:49:28 |
[Glass shatters] |
| 00:49:29 |
[Objects clatter] |
| 00:49:42 |
Wait, wait. |
| 00:49:43 |
I got to go into the bathroom |
| 00:49:48 |
Leave the microfilm in, baby. |
| 00:49:51 |
[Upbeat music playing] |
| 00:49:53 |
# Hoo! # |
| 00:49:57 |
# Hull! # |
| 00:49:59 |
Chuck. |
| 00:50:00 |
# Hey! # |
| 00:50:04 |
Do you know when my episode |
| 00:50:07 |
OK. See you, Chuck. Bye. |
| 00:50:11 |
JIM: Chuck, |
| 00:50:13 |
Everything go OK? |
| 00:50:16 |
Mr. Barris, do not ever again |
| 00:50:19 |
by having a game show contestant |
| 00:50:22 |
- Is that understood? |
| 00:50:24 |
Do I make myself clear? |
| 00:50:25 |
Fuck you. |
| 00:50:27 |
You are a bloody amateur. |
| 00:50:29 |
- You're a faggot. |
| 00:50:31 |
OLIVER: Tell me, Mr. Barris. |
| 00:50:33 |
Are you in possession |
| 00:50:35 |
- Yeah, I got it. |
| 00:50:37 |
It's up my ass, Oliver. |
| 00:50:40 |
What is this shit? |
| 00:50:42 |
I deserve a little appreciation |
| 00:50:45 |
SIMON: What do you think |
| 00:50:53 |
Prick. |
| 00:50:56 |
EUBANKS: Really? OK. |
| 00:50:57 |
He said he dated none of them. |
| 00:50:59 |
[Applause] |
| 00:51:03 |
- Sandra? |
| 00:51:07 |
LORETTA: Well, |
| 00:51:10 |
- What? |
| 00:51:14 |
ALL: Surprise! |
| 00:51:16 |
[Cheering] |
| 00:51:18 |
ABC's going to pick up |
| 00:51:20 |
Daytime and primetime! |
| 00:51:21 |
You're kidding me! |
| 00:51:23 |
That's sensational. |
| 00:51:26 |
Whoo: |
| 00:51:27 |
EUBANKS: OK. Here's the last |
| 00:51:30 |
Girls. Tell me where, |
| 00:51:32 |
is the weirdest place |
| 00:51:36 |
have even gotten the urge |
| 00:51:40 |
The weirdest place, Olga? |
| 00:51:44 |
OLGA: Um... |
| 00:51:45 |
[Audience laughs] |
| 00:51:49 |
EUBANKS: Yes, Olga? |
| 00:51:52 |
In the ass? |
| 00:51:54 |
[Audience laughs] |
| 00:51:56 |
No, no, no. No, the... |
| 00:51:59 |
HUSBAND: It's still there. |
| 00:52:00 |
EUBANKS: No. No. |
| 00:52:01 |
is the weirdest location, |
| 00:52:05 |
OLGA: I don't know. |
| 00:52:07 |
[Audience laughing] |
| 00:52:12 |
Oh! |
| 00:52:14 |
EUBANKS: Olga... |
| 00:52:18 |
Olga. The word is |
| 00:52:20 |
You know what I mean? |
| 00:52:21 |
ESQUIVEL: |
| 00:52:23 |
# Mucha muchacha # |
| 00:52:25 |
# Mucha muchacha # |
| 00:52:28 |
# Mucha muchacha # |
| 00:52:30 |
# Mucha muchacha # |
| 00:52:32 |
# Mucha muchacha # |
| 00:52:34 |
# Mucha muchacha # |
| 00:52:37 |
# Ba ba ba ba baile # |
| 00:52:48 |
# Ba # |
| 00:52:51 |
# Al # |
| 00:52:53 |
# Al # |
| 00:52:55 |
# Ba ba ba ba ba-ba-ba # |
| 00:52:58 |
# Ra pa pa |
| 00:53:00 |
# Ra pa pa na pa ba na pa # |
| 00:53:02 |
# Ra pa pa |
| 00:53:04 |
# Ra pa na pa ba na pa # |
| 00:53:07 |
# Ra pa pa na pa ba na pa # |
| 00:53:09 |
# Ra pa pa na pa ba na pa # |
| 00:53:11 |
[Music fades] |
| 00:53:13 |
BARRIS: I liked Penny. |
| 00:53:14 |
I even loved her. In my way. |
| 00:53:17 |
But the idea |
| 00:53:20 |
for the rest of my life... |
| 00:53:23 |
I remember |
| 00:53:26 |
We need a new icebox. |
| 00:53:28 |
[Radio playing faintly] |
| 00:53:34 |
["The Newlywed Game" |
| 00:53:44 |
[Applause] |
| 00:53:51 |
AUDIENCE: Ooh... |
| 00:53:56 |
BARRIS: "The Newlywed Game"... |
| 00:53:57 |
was based on my theory |
| 00:53:59 |
would sell out their spouse |
| 00:54:02 |
on a lawn mower |
| 00:54:05 |
Such was my respect |
| 00:54:11 |
- "Interpret." |
| 00:54:13 |
Oh. Do you have |
| 00:54:16 |
I'm not going |
| 00:54:18 |
You're lucky I don't make you |
| 00:54:20 |
Oh, OK. |
| 00:54:22 |
You look cute today, Pen. |
| 00:54:24 |
I always look cute. |
| 00:54:28 |
[Blows] |
| 00:54:31 |
What was I going to say? |
| 00:54:32 |
I don't know. |
| 00:54:34 |
[Music playing faintly] |
| 00:54:39 |
I think |
| 00:54:42 |
because we've known |
| 00:54:44 |
and we've fucked |
| 00:54:47 |
And you think I'm cute, |
| 00:54:51 |
And you always come to me |
| 00:54:53 |
and I'm nothing |
| 00:54:56 |
What does that mean? |
| 00:55:00 |
I'm just kidding. |
| 00:55:03 |
Don't ask me |
| 00:55:05 |
# I don't use a knife # |
| 00:55:08 |
# Don't need a gun # |
| 00:55:11 |
BARRIS: I couldn't breathe. |
| 00:55:13 |
I was drowning. |
| 00:55:15 |
And what the fuck did my mother |
| 00:55:19 |
So I made a call. |
| 00:55:26 |
[Water running] |
| 00:55:29 |
[Turns off water] |
| 00:55:38 |
[Door opens, closes] |
| 00:55:43 |
JIM: Over here, |
| 00:55:49 |
[Enters stall] |
| 00:55:53 |
CHUCK: How do you know |
| 00:55:54 |
JIM: We know what she actually |
| 00:55:57 |
CHUCK: Really? |
| 00:55:59 |
JIM: That's on |
| 00:56:02 |
What can I do for you? |
| 00:56:04 |
CHUCK: |
| 00:56:06 |
I need something for my head. |
| 00:56:13 |
JIM: I got something |
| 00:56:18 |
LANGE: And you're going |
| 00:56:19 |
to fabulous |
| 00:56:23 |
["The Dating Game" theme plays] |
| 00:56:30 |
[Applause] |
| 00:56:43 |
[Music fades] |
| 00:56:45 |
[Accordion music playing] |
| 00:56:47 |
The name's Hans Colbert. |
| 00:56:49 |
Other side of the wall. |
| 00:56:51 |
We don't like him very much. |
| 00:56:53 |
You'll be working with |
| 00:56:56 |
He's been tailing Colbert |
| 00:56:57 |
Knows the routine. |
| 00:56:59 |
so stay sober and take charge. |
| 00:57:03 |
It's done and done. |
| 00:57:06 |
[Dramatic music playing] |
| 00:57:08 |
Kill for me, baby. |
| 00:57:22 |
[Rumbling] |
| 00:57:24 |
[Electricity crackles] |
| 00:57:35 |
[Coughs] |
| 00:57:50 |
[Click] |
| 00:58:22 |
[Keeler writing] |
| 00:58:28 |
[Writing] |
| 00:58:43 |
What are you writing, Sieg? |
| 00:58:49 |
Just keeping track of anything |
| 00:58:51 |
[Speaking German] |
| 00:58:58 |
Ah. |
| 00:59:00 |
[Continues writing] |
| 00:59:11 |
[Accordion music playing] |
| 00:59:17 |
MAN: Ha. |
| 00:59:18 |
CHUCK: That's him. |
| 00:59:22 |
Too many people. |
| 00:59:28 |
[Laughing] |
| 00:59:33 |
[Music stops] |
| 00:59:39 |
[Keeler whistles faintly] |
| 00:59:48 |
Chuck. Chuck. |
| 00:59:51 |
- All right. |
| 00:59:54 |
What is this? |
| 00:59:56 |
Aah! |
| 00:59:58 |
What the... |
| 01:00:03 |
[Muffled yells] |
| 01:00:06 |
- Take a picture. |
| 01:00:08 |
Take a picture. |
| 01:00:12 |
Picture. Come on. |
| 01:00:14 |
Take a picture. |
| 01:00:20 |
Danke schon. |
| 01:01:42 |
He would disappear for |
| 01:01:46 |
and his secretary would |
| 01:01:48 |
We didn't know |
| 01:01:50 |
I don't know |
| 01:01:52 |
I... I couldn't say. |
| 01:02:13 |
BARRIS: The only reason |
| 01:02:15 |
was they needed me... |
| 01:02:17 |
to trade for one of |
| 01:02:32 |
I promised myself |
| 01:02:35 |
I'd live my life differently. |
| 01:02:38 |
I'd throw myself into work, |
| 01:02:42 |
Penny. I needed to see |
| 01:02:47 |
And tell Byrd I'm out... |
| 01:02:52 |
If I could just make it past |
| 01:02:56 |
this one... last... |
| 01:03:17 |
I don't know what was worse... |
| 01:03:20 |
that I was duped by |
| 01:03:24 |
on that it took seven of us |
| 01:03:28 |
[Goat bleating] |
| 01:03:35 |
You're still in one piece? |
| 01:03:37 |
CHUCK: |
| 01:03:39 |
Did you have a nice flight? |
| 01:03:40 |
Fuck you. Where you been? |
| 01:03:43 |
and it's you, and if you |
| 01:03:45 |
You understand? |
| 01:03:46 |
[Loud music] |
| 01:03:47 |
# I tip my lat |
| 01:03:51 |
# Take a bow |
| 01:03:54 |
# Smile and grin at the change |
| 01:03:57 |
# Pick up my guitar |
| 01:04:01 |
# Just like yesterday # |
| 01:04:04 |
# Then I get on my knees |
| 01:04:12 |
# We don't get fooled |
| 01:04:15 |
# No. No # |
| 01:04:19 |
# If I had a hammer # |
| 01:04:21 |
# I'd a-hammer in the morning # |
| 01:04:25 |
# I'd a-hammer |
| 01:04:27 |
- She's good, huh? |
| 01:04:31 |
That's great. |
| 01:04:32 |
That's fine. |
| 01:04:33 |
But I can sing the whole song. |
| 01:04:35 |
That was wonderful. Great. |
| 01:04:37 |
That was enough. |
| 01:04:39 |
All right. |
| 01:04:42 |
Christ, there's gotta be |
| 01:04:44 |
with some talent. Hi! |
| 01:04:47 |
FEMALE EXECUTIVE: Now, |
| 01:04:51 |
You're gonna love her. |
| 01:04:52 |
[Playing guitar] |
| 01:04:56 |
[Singing atonally] |
| 01:04:59 |
# I'd hammer |
| 01:05:03 |
# I'd hammer in the evening # |
| 01:05:06 |
# All over this land # |
| 01:05:09 |
# I'd hammer out danger # |
| 01:05:13 |
# I'd hammer out a warning # |
| 01:05:16 |
# I'd hammer out |
| 01:05:19 |
# My brothers |
| 01:05:22 |
# All over this land # |
| 01:05:26 |
[Gunshot] |
| 01:05:28 |
[Bell tolls] |
| 01:05:31 |
# All over this land # |
| 01:05:34 |
[Gong clangs] |
| 01:05:36 |
# If I were a... # |
| 01:05:38 |
- Oh, no, thank you. |
| 01:05:44 |
That was great. |
| 01:05:46 |
Thank you. Thank you. |
| 01:05:48 |
We've been going |
| 01:05:50 |
Rather than killing ourselves |
| 01:05:52 |
we just put bad ones |
| 01:05:54 |
Chuck, honestly, this... |
| 01:05:56 |
this is torture. |
| 01:05:57 |
No, no, no. We kill 'em |
| 01:05:59 |
As soon as |
| 01:06:01 |
we kill 'em... dead! |
| 01:06:04 |
["The Gong Show" theme plays] |
| 01:06:06 |
Ladies and gentlemen, |
| 01:06:09 |
Ah. Oh, this is so good! |
| 01:06:12 |
This next act answers |
| 01:06:16 |
If you wear a cellophane... |
| 01:06:19 |
Whish: OK. |
| 01:06:21 |
[Audience laughs] |
| 01:06:22 |
If you wear... ha ha... |
| 01:06:26 |
can people |
| 01:06:29 |
I don't know. |
| 01:06:32 |
All the way from Pacoima... |
| 01:06:35 |
Mick Donnelly! |
| 01:06:37 |
[Cheers and applause] |
| 01:06:39 |
[Music plays] |
| 01:06:42 |
[Off-key] # Raindrops |
| 01:06:45 |
# Just like the guy # |
| 01:06:47 |
# Whose feet |
| 01:06:50 |
# Nothin' seems to fit |
| 01:06:53 |
# Raindrops are fallin' |
| 01:06:54 |
# They keep fallin' # |
| 01:06:57 |
# So I just did me |
| 01:07:01 |
# And I said I didn't like # |
| 01:07:04 |
# The way he got things done # |
| 01:07:06 |
# Sleepin' on the job, |
| 01:07:09 |
BARRIS: Who could have known |
| 01:07:12 |
just waiting for |
| 01:07:15 |
and make an ass |
| 01:07:18 |
# Raindrops keep fallin' |
| 01:07:19 |
# But that doesn't |
| 01:07:22 |
# Will soon be turnin' red # |
| 01:07:23 |
[Audience booing] |
| 01:07:25 |
# Cryin's not for me, 'cause # |
| 01:07:27 |
# I'm never gonna stop |
| 01:07:31 |
# Because I'm... # |
| 01:07:33 |
[Gong] |
| 01:07:35 |
We'll be back |
| 01:07:40 |
right after this message. |
| 01:07:46 |
You know what the sad part |
| 01:07:48 |
Barris has a reputation... |
| 01:07:49 |
for lowering |
| 01:07:51 |
and the standards and all... |
| 01:07:53 |
but he had a great feel |
| 01:07:56 |
and he couldn't take |
| 01:07:58 |
BARRIS: Things started |
| 01:08:01 |
The show was |
| 01:08:04 |
and I was becoming the one |
| 01:08:08 |
famous. |
| 01:08:09 |
- You're Chuck Barris, right? |
| 01:08:12 |
"The Gong Show." |
| 01:08:14 |
Thanks. |
| 01:09:16 |
WOMAN: Hi. |
| 01:09:17 |
Hi. |
| 01:09:19 |
I thought that was you. |
| 01:09:21 |
Yeah... it's me. |
| 01:09:24 |
[Woman laughs] |
| 01:09:27 |
Well, I'm glad to meet you. |
| 01:09:30 |
Oh. Yeah, well... |
| 01:09:33 |
I think you're the most |
| 01:09:36 |
in entertainment today. |
| 01:09:40 |
How dare you subject |
| 01:09:42 |
to your loathsome views |
| 01:09:45 |
Yeah... I don't think |
| 01:09:47 |
What is it, then? |
| 01:09:49 |
To mock some |
| 01:09:50 |
who are just craving a little |
| 01:09:53 |
to destroy them? |
| 01:09:55 |
I mean, they're still people. |
| 01:09:57 |
They still deserve a little |
| 01:10:02 |
Who the hell are you... |
| 01:10:04 |
and what the fuck |
| 01:10:06 |
to elevate yourself |
| 01:10:10 |
Oh, that's right. |
| 01:10:13 |
Wow. |
| 01:10:16 |
That's right up there |
| 01:10:18 |
[Drink spills] |
| 01:10:23 |
Ladies and gentlemen... |
| 01:10:25 |
it wouldn't surprise me |
| 01:10:27 |
[Upbeat music begins] |
| 01:10:29 |
MAN: Whoo. |
| 01:10:30 |
That means... |
| 01:10:32 |
it's Gene Gene, |
| 01:10:37 |
and just in time! |
| 01:10:40 |
[Gene's dancing music plays] |
| 01:11:03 |
FEMALE CRITIC: |
| 01:11:04 |
than just the decline |
| 01:11:07 |
In my opinion. Chuck Barris |
| 01:11:09 |
to our society |
| 01:11:12 |
LORETTA: |
| 01:11:14 |
- Who is it? |
| 01:11:16 |
He says he's a friend |
| 01:11:33 |
Hello. |
| 01:11:35 |
Very gutsy, my neighbor. |
| 01:11:37 |
I guess you heard about Oliver. |
| 01:11:40 |
Someone changed sides. |
| 01:11:41 |
[Car door opens, |
| 01:11:43 |
What was so urgent? |
| 01:11:45 |
[Car door closes] |
| 01:11:47 |
[Street noises] |
| 01:11:49 |
KEELER: I was wondering, |
| 01:11:51 |
I'm in town for a day. |
| 01:11:53 |
BARRIS: Now, |
| 01:11:56 |
That Keeler was calling me... |
| 01:11:57 |
could mean it was |
| 01:11:59 |
I would take him somewhere |
| 01:12:06 |
How's show biz? |
| 01:12:07 |
Well, it's hit and miss. |
| 01:12:09 |
I got a new show called |
| 01:12:12 |
which I believe |
| 01:12:15 |
It's sort of a Bob Hope |
| 01:12:17 |
but it's weekly. |
| 01:12:19 |
Instead of Bob Hope, |
| 01:12:21 |
Chuck. Tch. |
| 01:12:23 |
Why do you do what you do? |
| 01:12:26 |
Hm? |
| 01:12:27 |
I like to think that |
| 01:12:32 |
to millions of people. |
| 01:12:34 |
It's a very important thing, |
| 01:12:36 |
in these difficult times. |
| 01:12:37 |
I'm not saying the show is |
| 01:12:40 |
but, uh... |
| 01:12:41 |
KEELER: No. No. |
| 01:12:43 |
Why do we do what we do? |
| 01:12:48 |
Hm? [Laughs] Come on. |
| 01:12:51 |
I got my feet wet |
| 01:12:55 |
Germany. |
| 01:12:58 |
The pleasure of killing |
| 01:13:02 |
Later in life, I... |
| 01:13:05 |
couldn't find a place |
| 01:13:09 |
to get that |
| 01:13:13 |
So I started up |
| 01:13:15 |
MAN: Gentlemen. |
| 01:13:18 |
I'll have a green salad, |
| 01:13:21 |
And for you, sir? |
| 01:13:22 |
Can I get a steak? Rare. |
| 01:13:25 |
Thank you. |
| 01:13:28 |
Let me read you something. |
| 01:13:32 |
"Whatsoever your hand |
| 01:13:35 |
"do it ghadly... |
| 01:13:37 |
"because there is no work, |
| 01:13:41 |
"or wisdom in the grave." |
| 01:13:43 |
Who is that, Carlyle? |
| 01:13:46 |
No, it's the Old Testament. |
| 01:13:51 |
It's God. |
| 01:13:53 |
It's amazing |
| 01:13:55 |
He's my hero. |
| 01:13:57 |
[Both laugh] |
| 01:14:01 |
Killing my first man... |
| 01:14:07 |
was like making love |
| 01:14:12 |
I remember |
| 01:14:16 |
the smell of his lain... |
| 01:14:19 |
ice on the window... |
| 01:14:21 |
wallpaper. |
| 01:14:25 |
It's like entering |
| 01:14:28 |
You're becoming an outsiden... |
| 01:14:32 |
isolating yourself. |
| 01:14:34 |
You're condemned. |
| 01:14:38 |
CHUCK: Condemned? |
| 01:14:39 |
KEELER: You have become... |
| 01:14:42 |
their sadness. And... |
| 01:14:46 |
live in a different |
| 01:14:54 |
Ladies and gentlemen... |
| 01:14:56 |
the lost of "The Gong Show"... |
| 01:14:58 |
[Chuckles] |
| 01:15:00 |
Chuck Barris. |
| 01:15:01 |
It's good to see you, Sieg. |
| 01:15:03 |
KEELER: |
| 01:15:08 |
It'll be all right. |
| 01:15:09 |
WOMAN: # Happy birthday # |
| 01:15:11 |
KEELER: I think. |
| 01:15:12 |
# To you # |
| 01:15:14 |
# Happy birthday # |
| 01:15:17 |
# Dean Chuckie # |
| 01:15:19 |
# Happy birthday # |
| 01:15:22 |
# To you # |
| 01:15:30 |
Is that right? |
| 01:15:33 |
Yeah. That's real good. |
| 01:15:36 |
That's real good. |
| 01:15:38 |
So what's wrong, Chuck? |
| 01:15:41 |
So what's wrong, Chuck? |
| 01:15:42 |
Yeah, I'm OK. |
| 01:15:44 |
A guy I know |
| 01:15:58 |
A guy I know killed himself. |
| 01:16:08 |
- Who was he? |
| 01:16:10 |
He's a stagehand. |
| 01:16:15 |
Why did he do it? |
| 01:16:20 |
He didn't like |
| 01:16:22 |
- Thanks. |
| 01:16:24 |
Is being a stagehand |
| 01:16:27 |
Yeah, it's pretty bad. |
| 01:16:44 |
Hello? |
| 01:16:46 |
You were supposed to meet me |
| 01:16:49 |
- Oh, fuck, I forgot. |
| 01:16:51 |
- Keeler's dead. Did you know? |
| 01:16:54 |
- What did you hear? |
| 01:16:57 |
Is that right? |
| 01:16:59 |
He said he was depressed. |
| 01:17:02 |
Who is this? |
| 01:17:03 |
I don't get stood up. |
| 01:17:05 |
Fun: Excuse me. |
| 01:17:06 |
[Both laugh] |
| 01:17:07 |
So ghad... Penny. Patricia. |
| 01:17:12 |
Are you serious? |
| 01:17:15 |
What does she mean? |
| 01:17:16 |
You're dead in my book, |
| 01:17:18 |
- Strawberry dick? |
| 01:17:21 |
Nice to meet you, Penny. |
| 01:17:25 |
Why don't you stay |
| 01:17:28 |
Penny... |
| 01:17:29 |
And... and... you know, man... |
| 01:17:33 |
I'm giving you |
| 01:17:37 |
[Sighs] Fuck. |
| 01:17:39 |
[Audience applauds] |
| 01:17:41 |
MAN: Thank you, |
| 01:17:42 |
[Plays intro to |
| 01:17:48 |
[Off-key] # Wise men say # |
| 01:17:56 |
# Only fools # |
| 01:17:58 |
# Rush in # |
| 01:18:04 |
# But I can't help # |
| 01:18:10 |
# Falling in love # |
| 01:18:14 |
# With you # |
| 01:18:21 |
# Take my land # |
| 01:18:28 |
# Take my whole life # |
| 01:18:33 |
# Too # |
| 01:18:37 |
# For I can't help # |
| 01:18:43 |
# Falling in love # |
| 01:18:47 |
# With you # |
| 01:18:53 |
# For I can't help # |
| 01:18:59 |
# Falling in love # |
| 01:19:04 |
# With # |
| 01:19:07 |
# You # |
| 01:19:13 |
[Weak applause] |
| 01:19:14 |
Thank you, |
| 01:19:19 |
LORETTA. OVER INTERCOM: |
| 01:19:23 |
Thanks. |
| 01:19:25 |
Yeah? |
| 01:19:26 |
JIM: Keeler didn't |
| 01:19:28 |
He was murdered. |
| 01:19:30 |
[Hangs up] |
| 01:19:32 |
You can come in now. |
| 01:19:35 |
Chuck: |
| 01:19:36 |
[Chuck hangs up phone] |
| 01:19:38 |
- Great to see ya. |
| 01:19:42 |
[Chuckles] |
| 01:19:43 |
Well... Chuck, may I sit? |
| 01:19:47 |
Hey, how's that redhead? |
| 01:19:48 |
She's good, you know. |
| 01:19:52 |
Well, Chuck, the thing is, |
| 01:19:55 |
What's up, Rod? |
| 01:19:57 |
Well, the thing is... |
| 01:19:59 |
some of your old shows |
| 01:20:02 |
in the old ratings wan. |
| 01:20:06 |
So... I've been put |
| 01:20:10 |
of laving to inform you... |
| 01:20:12 |
that the network |
| 01:20:19 |
Now, don't shoot me, Chuck. |
| 01:20:22 |
I'm just the messenger. |
| 01:20:30 |
Psshh. |
| 01:20:34 |
Aargh. [Chuckles] |
| 01:20:38 |
[Sighs] |
| 01:20:39 |
This really is the hardest part |
| 01:20:45 |
CHUCK: |
| 01:20:47 |
just like that. |
| 01:20:48 |
I pushed them into the world... |
| 01:20:50 |
through the birth canal |
| 01:20:53 |
Iovinghy... tenderly. |
| 01:20:56 |
Where's the humanity |
| 01:21:00 |
- Fuck 'em. |
| 01:21:03 |
They're fucking bastards anyway. |
| 01:21:05 |
Yeah. What am I gonna do now? |
| 01:21:10 |
WOMAN: Oh, baby. |
| 01:21:12 |
Oh, yeah. Feels so good. |
| 01:21:30 |
[Woman moans softly] |
| 01:21:37 |
Chuck? |
| 01:21:42 |
PENNY: Chuck? |
| 01:21:43 |
Fuck. Fuck. |
| 01:21:45 |
Penny, fuck. |
| 01:22:04 |
I came here to tell you |
| 01:22:06 |
That's great. |
| 01:22:11 |
What's she doing here? |
| 01:22:13 |
CHUCK: She's. Uh... |
| 01:22:16 |
PENNY: This is our house. |
| 01:22:20 |
It's one thing to go elsewhere |
| 01:22:25 |
But this is our house. |
| 01:22:27 |
It's my house, Pen. |
| 01:22:29 |
It's our house. |
| 01:22:33 |
I found it with you. |
| 01:22:36 |
I spent six fucking months... |
| 01:22:38 |
waiting for the fucking plumber |
| 01:22:47 |
CHUCK: I'm sorry. |
| 01:22:51 |
You're such an asshole. |
| 01:23:10 |
[Starts engine] |
| 01:23:38 |
No, I'm not saying that. |
| 01:23:41 |
PENNY: Then what |
| 01:23:43 |
[Sniffles] |
| 01:23:46 |
[Crying] Do you want me |
| 01:23:49 |
Do you even like me? |
| 01:23:51 |
Of course I like you. |
| 01:23:53 |
Penny... |
| 01:23:55 |
- How much? |
| 01:23:57 |
I need to know |
| 01:24:01 |
I don't know what that means. |
| 01:24:03 |
How much? How can I rate |
| 01:24:08 |
You could if you felt it. |
| 01:24:10 |
If you felt it, |
| 01:24:12 |
You would just... |
| 01:24:14 |
[Exhales] |
| 01:24:16 |
spread your arms |
| 01:24:19 |
and say, "This much, Penny." |
| 01:24:31 |
[Whispering] Everything... |
| 01:24:33 |
Everything's complicated, Pen. |
| 01:24:36 |
You know, nothing's |
| 01:24:45 |
Do you want me around or not? |
| 01:24:47 |
Because if you don't, it's OK. |
| 01:24:51 |
Hey, hey... |
| 01:24:55 |
I love you, Penny, in my way. |
| 01:25:05 |
Maybe not in that crazy |
| 01:25:09 |
but what is that anyway? |
| 01:25:12 |
Romantic love... |
| 01:25:15 |
isn't that just an illusion? |
| 01:25:21 |
You just said |
| 01:25:27 |
[Sniffles] |
| 01:25:39 |
[Music fades in] |
| 01:25:42 |
# Just like yesterday # |
| 01:25:45 |
# And I'll get on my knees |
| 01:25:53 |
# We don't... # |
| 01:25:54 |
[Turns off music] |
| 01:26:08 |
JIM: Hi, Chuck. |
| 01:26:09 |
Hey, Jim, what do you want? |
| 01:26:11 |
- How's work? |
| 01:26:14 |
Any new game show ideas? |
| 01:26:15 |
Dozens. Why are you here, Jim? |
| 01:26:18 |
We need you to find the mole |
| 01:26:26 |
Yeah. |
| 01:26:27 |
[Laughs] |
| 01:26:30 |
Yeah... |
| 01:26:33 |
I just want |
| 01:26:36 |
I'm out. |
| 01:26:39 |
No, you're not. |
| 01:26:45 |
Hey, I got an idea. |
| 01:26:47 |
If you want him so bad... |
| 01:26:50 |
why don't you do it? |
| 01:26:52 |
Why don't you kill the mole? |
| 01:26:54 |
Any problem with killing, Jim? |
| 01:26:57 |
I just don't fit the profile. |
| 01:27:00 |
What fucking profile? |
| 01:27:03 |
OK. There's no profile. |
| 01:27:04 |
- There's no profile. |
| 01:27:10 |
You had a twin sister, |
| 01:27:12 |
strangled |
| 01:27:15 |
Your first hit. |
| 01:27:17 |
Your mother always |
| 01:27:19 |
She blamed you |
| 01:27:21 |
so until your sister |
| 01:27:23 |
she raised you as a girl. |
| 01:27:25 |
What else? |
| 01:27:27 |
Your father, the dentist. |
| 01:27:29 |
Not really your father. |
| 01:27:33 |
Your real father was a man |
| 01:27:37 |
Among other things, |
| 01:27:39 |
a fact |
| 01:27:41 |
when she had an affair |
| 01:27:44 |
- That's ridiculous. |
| 01:27:46 |
That's insane. |
| 01:27:48 |
Windsor died in |
| 01:27:53 |
I'm trying to think of |
| 01:27:55 |
but you have me at a bit |
| 01:27:57 |
I don't have your files |
| 01:28:08 |
Come on, Jim. |
| 01:28:16 |
I'm out. |
| 01:28:25 |
As long as the mole's alive, |
| 01:28:28 |
How do I know it's not you? |
| 01:28:31 |
You're a fairly bright guy. |
| 01:28:35 |
You'll figure it out. |
| 01:29:04 |
[Ominous chords] |
| 01:30:00 |
[No audio] |
| 01:30:16 |
[No audio] |
| 01:30:19 |
[Ominous music continues] |
| 01:30:36 |
[Bagpipe music fades in] |
| 01:30:44 |
- Hey, Chuck. I... |
| 01:30:46 |
Who are you? |
| 01:30:48 |
[Gong] |
| 01:30:52 |
[Audience applauds] |
| 01:30:54 |
[Incidental game show music] |
| 01:31:00 |
Yeah... |
| 01:31:05 |
CHUCK: Get off the stage. |
| 01:31:08 |
Get yourself a Guinness |
| 01:31:12 |
All right. |
| 01:31:15 |
the prince of puns... |
| 01:31:18 |
the wizard of whoopee! |
| 01:31:20 |
[Applause] |
| 01:31:21 |
The Unknown Comic! |
| 01:31:24 |
Hey, Chuckie, baby! |
| 01:31:26 |
Hey, Chuckie, baby, |
| 01:31:28 |
- A joke. |
| 01:31:30 |
What's the difference |
| 01:31:31 |
and a shower curtain? |
| 01:31:32 |
- I don't know. What? |
| 01:31:34 |
- Get off the stage. |
| 01:31:37 |
- Get off the stage. |
| 01:31:40 |
Get the fuck out of here. |
| 01:31:42 |
Ladies and gentlemen... |
| 01:31:45 |
our next act... Ha ha! |
| 01:31:49 |
First came... |
| 01:31:53 |
To us... all the way... |
| 01:31:58 |
Um... ha ha... |
| 01:32:01 |
Lord. |
| 01:32:07 |
Come on. |
| 01:32:12 |
You like the way Mommy looks? |
| 01:32:15 |
Yes. |
| 01:32:16 |
I bet you'd like to be a mommy |
| 01:32:20 |
Come here, You. |
| 01:32:21 |
[Renda crying out] |
| 01:32:29 |
CHUCK: Sorry about |
| 01:32:41 |
MOTHER: |
| 01:32:44 |
# Happy birthday to you # |
| 01:32:49 |
# Happy birthday, |
| 01:32:53 |
# Happy birthday to... # |
| 01:33:08 |
Come on. Take me away now. |
| 01:33:11 |
Take me away. |
| 01:33:13 |
What are you waitin' for? |
| 01:33:16 |
Come on. Come on. |
| 01:33:19 |
Come on. |
| 01:33:23 |
I see you. |
| 01:33:27 |
What are you looking at? |
| 01:33:28 |
[Music starts] |
| 01:33:31 |
SINGERS: |
| 01:33:34 |
# I'd a-hammer |
| 01:33:37 |
# I'd a-hammer |
| 01:33:39 |
# All over this land # |
| 01:33:42 |
# I'd a-hammer out danger # |
| 01:33:45 |
# I'd a-hammer out a warning' # |
| 01:33:47 |
# I'd a-hammer out love # |
| 01:33:49 |
# Between my brothers |
| 01:33:51 |
# All over # |
| 01:33:53 |
# This land # |
| 01:33:56 |
# Ooh ooh ooh # |
| 01:33:58 |
# If I had a bell # |
| 01:34:01 |
# I'd a-ring it |
| 01:34:04 |
# I'd a-ring it |
| 01:34:06 |
# All over this land # |
| 01:34:09 |
# I'd ring out danger # |
| 01:34:12 |
# I'd ring out a warning # |
| 01:34:14 |
# I'd ring out # |
| 01:34:16 |
# Love between my brothers |
| 01:34:18 |
# All over # |
| 01:34:20 |
# This land # |
| 01:34:23 |
# Ooh # |
| 01:34:25 |
# If I had a song # |
| 01:34:28 |
# I'd sing it |
| 01:34:31 |
# I'd sing it |
| 01:34:33 |
# All over this land # |
| 01:34:36 |
# I'd sing out danger # |
| 01:34:38 |
# I'd sing out a warning # |
| 01:34:41 |
# I'd sing out love # |
| 01:34:43 |
# Between my brothers |
| 01:34:45 |
# All over # |
| 01:34:47 |
# This land # |
| 01:34:49 |
# This land # |
| 01:34:52 |
BARRIS: Dean Penny... |
| 01:34:54 |
this is just a note to say |
| 01:34:58 |
for all of it. |
| 01:35:01 |
You were the best pant |
| 01:35:04 |
and I couldn't see it. |
| 01:35:07 |
I'm not asking |
| 01:35:10 |
just for your forgiveness. |
| 01:35:14 |
Love. Chuck. |
| 01:35:26 |
[Knock on door] |
| 01:35:36 |
Well... |
| 01:35:38 |
Look who comes out of hiding. |
| 01:35:41 |
CHUCK: I started thinking, |
| 01:35:43 |
in the world |
| 01:35:46 |
I know I screwed you over |
| 01:35:50 |
and I'm sorry. I... |
| 01:35:52 |
[Piano concerto plays] |
| 01:35:56 |
I just want you |
| 01:36:02 |
I hate myself for how... |
| 01:36:04 |
Goddamn, I hate myself |
| 01:36:10 |
PATRICIA: Nietzsche says |
| 01:36:13 |
still respects oneself |
| 01:36:18 |
CHUCK: Shit, |
| 01:36:20 |
I can't even despise myself |
| 01:36:23 |
The insane asylums |
| 01:36:25 |
who think |
| 01:36:28 |
Very few have delusions |
| 01:36:31 |
a guy down the block who works |
| 01:36:37 |
All right. |
| 01:36:41 |
What is this stuff? |
| 01:36:43 |
I wanted to be a writer once. |
| 01:36:45 |
I wanted to write something... |
| 01:36:47 |
that someday some lesser person |
| 01:36:50 |
but I never did. |
| 01:36:51 |
I'm the lesser person, Trish. |
| 01:36:54 |
I never say |
| 01:36:56 |
that wasn't said |
| 01:36:59 |
I am disposable. |
| 01:37:02 |
I disposed of people, |
| 01:37:09 |
I've been thinking about you |
| 01:37:13 |
- Oh, yeah? |
| 01:37:16 |
I've missed you. |
| 01:37:18 |
You could have fooled me. |
| 01:37:20 |
Well, I've mellowed. |
| 01:37:22 |
[Chuckles] |
| 01:37:24 |
Boston is a beautiful city. |
| 01:37:26 |
We could start over here, |
| 01:37:31 |
Sell insurance. |
| 01:37:33 |
[Laughs] |
| 01:37:34 |
Yeah. That sounds good. |
| 01:37:41 |
Look at that. |
| 01:37:43 |
I could learn to love |
| 01:37:48 |
Did you see |
| 01:37:50 |
Oh, yeah? Where? |
| 01:37:52 |
- Look. |
| 01:37:57 |
To life. |
| 01:38:01 |
To life. |
| 01:38:13 |
You devil. Isn't that sweet? |
| 01:38:17 |
Oh... |
| 01:38:20 |
Hey, what about splitting |
| 01:38:27 |
Fuck. I just bit... |
| 01:38:29 |
It's just a... [Gags] |
| 01:38:31 |
[Gagging] |
| 01:38:45 |
[Gasping, grunting] |
| 01:38:47 |
PATRICIA: No, that's too quick. |
| 01:38:49 |
You're supposed to get to |
| 01:38:53 |
God, Chuck, you should have |
| 01:38:56 |
It was just... well... |
| 01:38:59 |
I got a nice snapshot of it, |
| 01:39:02 |
Mm... |
| 01:39:03 |
You know, Keeler was easy. |
| 01:39:05 |
Traveled halfway around |
| 01:39:09 |
Hm... |
| 01:39:11 |
[Chuck panting] |
| 01:39:12 |
OK... Let's see... |
| 01:39:16 |
[Grunts] |
| 01:39:22 |
Come on. |
| 01:39:24 |
I nearly blew it with Byrd. |
| 01:39:26 |
Never farm out a job |
| 01:39:29 |
Do you want a laugh? |
| 01:39:33 |
He was going to kill you. |
| 01:39:38 |
"I'm not at all the person |
| 01:39:42 |
Hm. Sounds like an epitaph. |
| 01:39:44 |
Your handwriting, too. |
| 01:39:46 |
You see, Chuck, |
| 01:39:48 |
All of your lovely notes. |
| 01:39:51 |
[Labored breathing] |
| 01:39:53 |
You know what? |
| 01:39:57 |
I like Carlyle best, too. |
| 01:39:59 |
I really do. Yeah. |
| 01:40:01 |
Say hi to the boys |
| 01:40:09 |
Ooh... |
| 01:40:12 |
Oh... |
| 01:41:10 |
To life. [Clink] |
| 01:41:17 |
[Piano concerto continues] |
| 01:41:21 |
[No audio] |
| 01:42:09 |
BARRIS: My name |
| 01:42:13 |
I have written pop songs. |
| 01:42:15 |
I have been |
| 01:42:19 |
I am responsible |
| 01:42:23 |
with mind-numbing, |
| 01:42:27 |
In addition. I have murdered |
| 01:42:53 |
JUSTICE OF THE PEACE: |
| 01:42:55 |
to join Penny Pacino |
| 01:42:59 |
in holy matrimony. |
| 01:43:01 |
You all know Chuck Barris... |
| 01:43:04 |
creator of "The Dating Game." |
| 01:43:08 |
"The Family Game"... |
| 01:43:09 |
"The Game Game," |
| 01:43:14 |
"Operation Entertainment"... |
| 01:43:16 |
"How's Your Mother-in-law," |
| 01:43:21 |
Chuck Barris, who most recently |
| 01:43:24 |
as "The Rah-Rah Show"... |
| 01:43:26 |
"The $1.98 Beauty Show"... |
| 01:43:29 |
"The Gong Show." |
| 01:43:32 |
Oh, Chuck Barris... |
| 01:43:35 |
who I'm sure |
| 01:43:37 |
with even more shows that |
| 01:43:43 |
and keep us on the edge |
| 01:43:46 |
[Bell tolls] |
| 01:43:53 |
[Cheering] |
| 01:44:18 |
MAN: Whoo. |
| 01:44:19 |
Congratulations! |
| 01:44:22 |
Hey... |
| 01:44:23 |
Oh, thanks, thanks. |
| 01:44:25 |
Thanks. |
| 01:44:26 |
[Bell tolls] |
| 01:44:31 |
[Tolling grows louder] |
| 01:44:34 |
[No audio] |
| 01:44:49 |
Danny, drive now! |
| 01:44:51 |
[Wheels screech] |
| 01:44:55 |
PENNY: Bye. |
| 01:44:56 |
Penny, there's something |
| 01:44:58 |
something I gotta tell ya. |
| 01:45:01 |
Listen, Penny. You've known me |
| 01:45:04 |
As the host of |
| 01:45:06 |
"The Gong Show," |
| 01:45:08 |
Yeah, yeah, |
| 01:45:10 |
I work for the CIA. |
| 01:45:15 |
And I kill people. |
| 01:45:17 |
I killed... |
| 01:45:20 |
You understand? |
| 01:45:23 |
I killed a lot of people. |
| 01:45:29 |
Ha ha ha ha ha ha! |
| 01:45:43 |
[Both laughing] |
| 01:45:54 |
BARRIS: I came up with |
| 01:45:58 |
It's called "The Old Game." |
| 01:46:01 |
You got three old guys |
| 01:46:06 |
they look back |
| 01:46:09 |
see who they were, |
| 01:46:14 |
low close they came |
| 01:46:22 |
The winner... |
| 01:46:24 |
is the one who doesn't |
| 01:46:29 |
He gets a refrigerator. |
| 01:46:37 |
[Music intro] |
| 01:46:41 |
# There's no business |
| 01:46:44 |
# Like no business I know # |
| 01:46:49 |
# Everything about it |
| 01:46:53 |
# Everything |
| 01:46:57 |
# Nowhere can you get |
| 01:47:00 |
# When you are stealing |
| 01:47:04 |
# There's no people |
| 01:47:08 |
# They smile |
| 01:47:12 |
# Even with a turkey |
| 01:47:15 |
# You may be stranded |
| 01:47:20 |
# Still, You wouldn't |
| 01:47:23 |
# Let's go on with the show # |
| 01:47:26 |
[Instrumentals] |
| 01:48:14 |
# The costumes. The scenery, |
| 01:48:18 |
# The audience that lifts you |
| 01:48:22 |
# The headache. The heartaches, |
| 01:48:25 |
# The sheriff who escorts you |
| 01:48:29 |
# The opening when your heart |
| 01:48:32 |
[Drumbeat] |
| 01:48:34 |
# The closing when |
| 01:48:37 |
# There's no business |
| 01:48:41 |
# Like no business I know # |
| 01:48:45 |
# Traveling through |
| 01:48:49 |
# Standing out in front |
| 01:48:53 |
# Smiling as you watch |
| 01:48:56 |
# And there's your billing # |
| 01:48:58 |
# Out there in lights # |
| 01:49:00 |
# There's no people |
| 01:49:04 |
# They smile |
| 01:49:08 |
# Yesterday. They told you |
| 01:49:12 |
# That night you open, |
| 01:49:16 |
# Next day. On your dressing |
| 01:49:19 |
# Let's go on with the show # |
| 01:49:23 |
# Let's go # |
| 01:49:26 |
# On with the show # |
| 01:49:37 |
[Somber piano music plays] |
| 01:53:23 |
[Music ends] |
