|
Daria Is It Fall Yet
|
| 00:01:31 |
Well, students... I certainly appreciate your help in cleaning out the classroom |
| 00:01:35 |
for the summer. It almost makes me forget that most of you didn't learn a thing |
| 00:01:40 |
all year! |
| 00:01:41 |
That's not true. I learned to sleep sitting up. |
| 00:01:44 |
Mr. D., as Q.B., I think I can speak for... |
| 00:01:46 |
Careful with that map, Kevin! |
| 00:01:48 |
Eep! |
| 00:01:48 |
Now... without turning around. Did you want to dangle a morsel of hope before me |
| 00:01:52 |
by announcing you're doing something constructive this summer, like partaking in |
| 00:01:56 |
much-needed remedial classes or some sort of vocation? |
| 00:02:00 |
I'm not going on vacation. Me and Britt are going to be lifeguards. |
| 00:02:03 |
No turning, Kevin! |
| 00:02:04 |
Urk! |
| 00:02:04 |
Do not turn until... did you say lifeguards? |
| 00:02:08 |
It'll be really easy 'cause I already know how to use... oops! Um, a bullhorn? |
| 00:02:14 |
Augh... argh! Why couldn't I have been born during an influenza epidemic? Or at |
| 00:02:21 |
the base of a volcano? Why did I survive, grow tall and strong, only to squander |
| 00:02:27 |
all my potential by becoming a teacher?! Argh... ! |
| 00:02:33 |
When he would have made such a wonderful motivational speaker. |
| 00:02:40 |
Now remember, the P-STATs are a good "dry run" for your college boards. If you |
| 00:02:44 |
got 1,200 points or better, kudos! You'll have a wide and exciting choice of |
| 00:02:48 |
colleges. And for those with less, uh, robust scores, there are still wonderful |
| 00:02:53 |
opportunities in the food services sector. |
| 00:02:56 |
Hmm... 940. |
| 00:02:57 |
9... 02. |
| 00:02:59 |
955. |
| 00:03:00 |
956. I guess we're all of comparable intelligence. |
| 00:03:05 |
Yeah... comparable. |
| 00:03:09 |
All right, have a rewarding and growth-filled summer, everyone. And by the way, |
| 00:03:13 |
we still have openings for counselors at the Okay to Cry Corral, my day camp for |
| 00:03:17 |
sensitive children and those who'd like to be. It's going to be wonderful. |
| 00:03:21 |
I hope... some of... um... all right, then. I'll miss you all, too. Quinn, you'd |
| 00:03:28 |
like to join the roundup at the Okay to Cry Corral and make a difference in a |
| 00:03:32 |
child's life? |
| 00:03:33 |
Why would I want to do that? I just, um, need to ask you something. |
| 00:03:37 |
Problems at home? Is it your mother? She seems awfully stressed. Has she been |
| 00:03:41 |
acting out on you? |
| 00:03:42 |
It's about my test score. |
| 00:03:43 |
Oh... |
| 00:03:44 |
Um, let's say you got a certain score on a test, and it wasn't terrible, but |
| 00:03:48 |
some other people got almost the same score, people you really thought you could |
| 00:03:52 |
do better than, although for personal reasons you'd rather not name them or say why? |
| 00:03:55 |
Um... what? |
| 00:03:57 |
Okay, forget everything I just said. Let's try this. Can I get into Pepperhill |
| 00:04:01 |
with a 955? |
| 00:04:02 |
955? Oh, dear. Well, let's see. |
| 00:04:05 |
Pepperhill University. It is known more for its wide range of social activities |
| 00:04:10 |
than for academics, but... ah! Uh-oh. I'm afraid to get into Pepperhill you'll |
| 00:04:16 |
need a combined score of at least 1,000. |
| 00:04:19 |
But that's not fair! I didn't have time to study with my Fashion Club duties. |
| 00:04:23 |
Don't extracurricular activities count for anything? |
| 00:04:27 |
Hmm. You think you might have done better if you'd studied? Who were those other |
| 00:04:30 |
people you mentioned? |
| 00:04:31 |
I told you to forget them. |
| 00:04:32 |
Eep! Of course you did. Well, Quinn, if you think studying would help, I say go |
| 00:04:37 |
for it! Take this summer to crack the books. Hire a tutor. Put your nose to the |
| 00:04:41 |
proverbial grindstone. |
| 00:04:43 |
What's wrong with my nose? |
| 00:04:48 |
I think I'm finally finding out what it feels like to be a Lane. |
| 00:04:51 |
That can't be, since it's only afternoon and you're already out of bed. |
| 00:04:54 |
I mean the lack of tiresome parental involvement. Mine have been so busy they've |
| 00:04:59 |
completely forgotten to force me into some dumb summer activity. I'm turning |
| 00:05:03 |
into you. |
| 00:05:04 |
Well, you've got so much else of mine, you might as well have my identity. |
| 00:05:07 |
Hey... ! |
| 00:05:07 |
Take a joke, Daria. Anyway, que ironico. You don't have summer plans, I do. |
| 00:05:14 |
Ironico's not a word. |
| 00:05:15 |
This old commune-mate of my mother's runs an artists' colony. I've been accepted |
| 00:05:19 |
into their summer program. |
| 00:05:21 |
That's great... |
| 00:05:22 |
That sounds sincere. |
| 00:05:23 |
Why didn't you say anything? |
| 00:05:25 |
I didn't want to jinx it. Two months of painting and sculpting my heart out in a |
| 00:05:29 |
college town in the middle of nowhere. Starting this weekend. |
| 00:05:32 |
Does this college town have a name, or do you just turn left at the kid with the tractor? |
| 00:05:37 |
Cheer up, Daria. Without me around, you'll have that much more time for your |
| 00:05:40 |
budding social life. |
| 00:05:44 |
This college book said you need a score of 1,000 and a B-minus average to get |
| 00:05:49 |
into Pepperhill. |
| 00:05:50 |
God, we're only flesh and blood. |
| 00:05:52 |
Stacy... eww. |
| 00:05:54 |
Sorry. |
| 00:05:55 |
So we'll go somewhere else. Somewhere that appreciates our specialness and individuality. |
| 00:06:00 |
But I'm sure I can do better on those tests. |
| 00:06:02 |
You can do better? |
| 00:06:03 |
We. Did I say me? We. |
| 00:06:07 |
Gee, Quinn, I'm glad you think you're so much smarter than the rest of us, but |
| 00:06:11 |
you're worried about nothing. We have plenty of time to pull up our test scores |
| 00:06:14 |
next year. |
| 00:06:15 |
Yeah! No sweat. |
| 00:06:16 |
Stacy... eww. |
| 00:06:19 |
Sorry. |
| 00:06:22 |
More waffles, Dad? I found an extra stick of butter. |
| 00:06:26 |
No thanks... the old diet, you know. May second? Hey! It's June! These waffles |
| 00:06:31 |
have expired! |
| 00:06:32 |
Relax, Jake. That's a sell-by date. They've been frozen since then. They're fine. |
| 00:06:37 |
Easy for you to say. You didn't just eat four poisoned waffles! |
| 00:06:40 |
Mom's right. Besides, if you had food poisoning you'd be developing a very mild |
| 00:06:44 |
stomachache by now. |
| 00:06:46 |
A mild stomachache? I think I have one, damn it! |
| 00:06:48 |
Jake, can't you ever tell when anyone's joking? |
| 00:06:51 |
Of course I can. Um... you're not doing it now, are you? |
| 00:06:55 |
It's June?! Oh, my gosh, Daria, what are you doing this summer? |
| 00:06:59 |
I was wondering when you'd ask, but don't worry. I have a job. |
| 00:07:02 |
Good for you, kiddo. |
| 00:07:03 |
I see... and what exactly is this job? |
| 00:07:06 |
I'm sorry, but the confidentiality agreement I signed with the government |
| 00:07:10 |
prevents me from revealing that. I've already said too much. |
| 00:07:13 |
Wow! I mean, wow, what a funny joke. |
| 00:07:17 |
Daria, I'm serious. I'm not going to let you sit around the house all summer. |
| 00:07:21 |
Fine. I'll lie around the house all summer. |
| 00:07:24 |
Quinn, what are your plans for the summer? |
| 00:07:26 |
All right, I admit it! My P-STAT scores were a little low. |
| 00:07:30 |
What? |
| 00:07:30 |
Sandi said we have plenty of time to catch up next year. |
| 00:07:34 |
What about all the new things you'll have to learn then? |
| 00:07:36 |
Yeah. The second half of the alphabet is even harder than the first. |
| 00:07:40 |
Oh, great. So you think I should get a tutor, too. Aren't there, like, any TV |
| 00:07:44 |
shows I can watch? |
| 00:07:45 |
Good idea. You wouldn't want to flunk the essay section on Matlock. |
| 00:07:48 |
Ha! Matlock. |
| 00:07:50 |
Well, if you don't want a tutor, then... |
| 00:07:52 |
Fine! A tutor it is. |
| 00:07:57 |
Just make it out to me -- Brittany! |
| 00:07:59 |
Gee... thanks for clearing that up. |
| 00:08:01 |
You're welcome! What are you guys doing this summer? |
| 00:08:05 |
Two internships, volunteer community service, a part-time job and, in my spare |
| 00:08:08 |
time, golf lessons. |
| 00:08:09 |
Wow! What about you, Mack Daddy? |
| 00:08:11 |
Driving an ice-cream truck. |
| 00:08:13 |
That's not very prestidigitatious. |
| 00:08:16 |
Thanks for pointing that out. |
| 00:08:17 |
You're welcome. |
| 00:08:18 |
Mack owes his father some money and I think it's very conscientious of him to |
| 00:08:21 |
take that job and pay him back. |
| 00:08:23 |
Yeah. He gets the money, I get the humiliation. |
| 00:08:26 |
Mack, it'll be fine. |
| 00:08:27 |
Wait... isn't golf for old people who dress funny? |
| 00:08:30 |
Yeah -- my parents. They're trying to get into Winged Tree Country Club and they |
| 00:08:34 |
want me to learn how to play. |
| 00:08:35 |
Hey, do you get to wear one of those little hats and ring that bell that goes |
| 00:08:38 |
ding-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling? A-ling? |
| 00:08:43 |
So I told my parents, all right, I'll go with you on your little trip to |
| 00:08:47 |
Bermuda, but don't expect me to take part in any family luaus. |
| 00:08:51 |
But isn't it Hawaii where they do luaus? |
| 00:08:53 |
Gee, Quinn, that's exactly what my mother said. Maybe you should go with them. |
| 00:08:59 |
What are you doing this summer, Quinn? |
| 00:09:01 |
Oh, nothing special. See some movies, catch up on my dating... get a tutor. |
| 00:09:05 |
A tutor? |
| 00:09:06 |
Oh, Quinn, I'm so sorry. |
| 00:09:08 |
Really... |
| 00:09:09 |
I know. It's terrible. But my mother's making me. Um, you guys will keep it to |
| 00:09:14 |
yourselves, won't you? |
| 00:09:15 |
Of course. |
| 00:09:16 |
You can trust us. |
| 00:09:18 |
You have our word... |
| 00:09:20 |
You guys are the best! |
| 00:09:24 |
I think we should talk. |
| 00:09:25 |
Okay. We are now talking. |
| 00:09:28 |
About the Tom thing. |
| 00:09:29 |
That I don't want to talk about. |
| 00:09:30 |
If you're still upset about it, we should deal with it now. Especially since we |
| 00:09:34 |
won't be seeing each other all summer. |
| 00:09:36 |
You don't get it, do you? I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to think |
| 00:09:39 |
about it. I told you, I'm not mad at you about Tom. Now let it freaking go, okay? |
| 00:09:44 |
Can I at least take you out for a good-luck pizza before you leave for your big |
| 00:09:47 |
art adventure? |
| 00:09:49 |
Daria, I said let it go. |
| 00:09:59 |
Jake, put the paper down. That boy Daria's been dating is on his way over. |
| 00:10:03 |
You mean Quinn's been dating. |
| 00:10:05 |
No, Daria. |
| 00:10:07 |
Oh! Good one, honey. Old Jake Morgendorffer sure appreciates a funny joke. |
| 00:10:11 |
Jake, will you listen to me, please? Daria's been out with this Tom several |
| 00:10:15 |
times and we're finally going to meet him, and I want to make sure we have our |
| 00:10:19 |
game plan together. |
| 00:10:20 |
Wait, I remember now. The guy without any vocal cords. |
| 00:10:24 |
I want you to stay cool and relaxed and not embarrass her by getting all nervous |
| 00:10:28 |
and crazy. |
| 00:10:29 |
Daria said he communicates by blinking. Now was it one blink for yes or one |
| 00:10:34 |
blink for no? |
| 00:10:35 |
Jake, she was joking! |
| 00:10:37 |
I know! Ha-ha-ha-ha... ! Now, what's the game plan? |
| 00:10:41 |
The game plan is, you don't say a word. |
| 00:10:43 |
So he won't feel self-conscious about the vocal cords, right? |
| 00:10:45 |
Oh... ! |
| 00:10:48 |
Hello! You must be Tom. |
| 00:10:50 |
I... |
| 00:10:51 |
I'm Helen Morgendorffer. |
| 00:10:52 |
Glad to... |
| 00:10:53 |
Won't you come in? |
| 00:10:54 |
I'd... |
| 00:10:54 |
Great! |
| 00:10:55 |
We've heard so much about you, Tom. |
| 00:10:57 |
Really? |
| 00:10:58 |
Um, well, actually... |
| 00:10:59 |
Hey there, young man! Jake Morgendorffer. |
| 00:11:01 |
Hi, I'm Tom Sloane. |
| 00:11:03 |
Sloane? Not the same Sloane as in Grace, Sloane and Page? |
| 00:11:06 |
Well, that's my dad, so I guess... |
| 00:11:07 |
Grace, Sloane and Page?! Hey, sign me up for a little of that insider trading. |
| 00:11:15 |
Little joke, of course. Class firm like your father's would never, uh, |
| 00:11:18 |
mmm... Say, you know, my vocal cords hurt. I'd better go gargle. |
| 00:11:27 |
Sorry about that. They've been acting a little strange ever since, oh, I can remember. |
| 00:11:33 |
Pizza? |
| 00:11:33 |
Okay. |
| 00:11:35 |
What's this? |
| 00:11:36 |
My new car. Well, my grandmother's old one. |
| 00:11:38 |
Did you want this car? |
| 00:11:40 |
Well, yeah, after my parents had my old one towed away in the middle of the night. |
| 00:11:44 |
Note to self: leave Quinn out on curb tonight. |
| 00:11:49 |
Oh, hi, Daria! |
| 00:11:50 |
Um, hello. |
| 00:11:51 |
Hey, Daria, I didn't know you had a brother. |
| 00:11:53 |
What? |
| 00:11:54 |
Jane's going out with your brother? Wow! |
| 00:11:56 |
What? |
| 00:11:57 |
You're Tom, right? Jane's boyfriend? |
| 00:11:59 |
Well, I'm Tom, but... |
| 00:12:01 |
How long have you and Daria been brothers? I mean, how long has Daria been your |
| 00:12:05 |
brother? Wait a minute, uh... |
| 00:12:07 |
Actually... |
| 00:12:08 |
Um, listen, it's been great talking and all, but we've got to get back to the |
| 00:12:12 |
Rent-a-Brother shop before they charge us for an extra day. Bye. |
| 00:12:17 |
You know what, babe? I don't think he's her brother at all. |
| 00:12:22 |
What's the matter? |
| 00:12:23 |
I can't do this. I can't spend the evening in there explaining to people that |
| 00:12:26 |
no, you're not my brother, and no, you're not Jane's boyfriend, you're actually |
| 00:12:30 |
my, uh... |
| 00:12:32 |
Yes? |
| 00:12:33 |
Guy I'm dating. |
| 00:12:35 |
Okay. I understand. I know, let's bag the pizza place and go to my parents' club. |
| 00:12:39 |
You're not much for crafty strategizing, are you? |
| 00:12:42 |
Nobody knows you there. Besides, they charge my folks for meals whether they eat |
| 00:12:46 |
them or not, so we might as well get their money's worth. |
| 00:12:48 |
Tom, as much as I'd like to help your family in their time of need... |
| 00:12:53 |
Do they have cheddar fries? |
| 00:12:56 |
Think you'll come visit me while I'm working in my father's office this month? |
| 00:12:59 |
You can help me file earnings reports. |
| 00:13:01 |
Oh, sure, that old line. Boy, you can really smell the mold on the old money in |
| 00:13:06 |
here, can't you? |
| 00:13:07 |
Better on the money than on the food. Uh-oh... |
| 00:13:10 |
Someone pull out a new twenty? |
| 00:13:12 |
Mom, Dad... Elsie. |
| 00:13:15 |
Daria, this is my mother and father and my sister, Elsie. |
| 00:13:18 |
Hi Daria. |
| 00:13:19 |
Nice to meet you. |
| 00:13:20 |
Hi. |
| 00:13:21 |
I just spoke with Aunt Mildred. She's made a lot of improvements on the house. |
| 00:13:23 |
She had the screen door fixed. |
| 00:13:25 |
We always spend August at the cove with my great Aunt Mildred. It's kind of a tradition. |
| 00:13:29 |
In other words, we don't have a choice. |
| 00:13:31 |
Elsie! |
| 00:13:31 |
How about you, Daria? I'll bet you have something fun planned for the summer. |
| 00:13:35 |
Um... |
| 00:13:35 |
Actually, Daria's just going to relax. She's earned it -- she made high honor |
| 00:13:39 |
roll all three trimesters. |
| 00:13:40 |
Fielding doesn't have trimesters. |
| 00:13:42 |
I go to Lawndale High. |
| 00:13:44 |
Oh. Well, high honor roll is an achievement at any school. |
| 00:13:48 |
Actually, at ours it just means you managed to stay out of prison all year. |
| 00:13:57 |
Sorry about the family onslaught. |
| 00:13:59 |
No big deal. Your parents had to find out you were dating me sometime. |
| 00:14:02 |
Does that bother you? That I hadn't told them about you? |
| 00:14:05 |
No. |
| 00:14:06 |
Daria, I never tell them about anyone I'm dating. |
| 00:14:09 |
Now I really feel special. |
| 00:14:11 |
Well, you should. Because I like you. |
| 00:14:13 |
Thanks. Um, I'd better be going. |
| 00:14:16 |
Hold on. I want to ask you... do you, you know... feel the same way about me? |
| 00:14:22 |
Uh, yeah. Sure. Bye. |
| 00:14:32 |
Hi, I'm David Sorenson. Are you Quinn? |
| 00:14:34 |
I don't know. Is this the ninth circle of Hell? |
| 00:14:37 |
The Divine Comedy. |
| 00:14:39 |
Wait a minute, you know that? All right. Who are you and what do you want with |
| 00:14:43 |
my sister? |
| 00:14:44 |
I'm here to tutor her. |
| 00:14:45 |
Seriously. |
| 00:14:46 |
Quinn, your tutor's here! David, hi. Helen Morgendorffer. Don't mind Daria. |
| 00:14:52 |
Unemployment does strange things to one's mind. |
| 00:14:57 |
Eric tells me you've worked wonders with his niece. |
| 00:15:00 |
Jasmine's been doing very well. Of course, it makes my job easier to have the |
| 00:15:04 |
support of involved parents. |
| 00:15:07 |
Yes. Quinn! |
| 00:15:09 |
I see here that you took European History last year. I guess there's no need |
| 00:15:12 |
repeating that. |
| 00:15:14 |
Oh, yeah. Napoleon, Waterworld, the A La Carta. |
| 00:15:17 |
Hmm... "revisit European history." Moving on to literature. I want you to check |
| 00:15:22 |
off all the books you've read. No point in assigning Ethan Frome or Silas Marner again. |
| 00:15:26 |
What did they write? |
| 00:15:27 |
Uh... okay. How's this for an idea? You tell me which are your best subjects. |
| 00:15:33 |
Well, let's see... I have an unerring color sense. |
| 00:15:44 |
I got a postcard from your mother. Boy, do I envy her in Death Valley. |
| 00:15:48 |
Can you believe there are some people who wouldn't want to go there in July? |
| 00:15:51 |
I know... here we are. |
| 00:15:54 |
I'm not saying Fauvism didn't have its place, but now it just looks like so much |
| 00:15:58 |
black-velvet junk at the swap-meet. |
| 00:16:00 |
That's not fair. You can't evaluate the work outside the context of its time. |
| 00:16:05 |
You can if it's good. |
| 00:16:08 |
Everyone, I'd like you to meet your new housemate, Jane. Jane... Caroline, Jett, |
| 00:16:14 |
Anais, and Paris. |
| 00:16:15 |
Hey. |
| 00:16:17 |
Enjoy. I'll see you later. |
| 00:16:19 |
Thanks. |
| 00:16:20 |
Nice haircut. |
| 00:16:21 |
Thanks, I... |
| 00:16:21 |
Anyway, color is not something you just fling around like a dog marking its territory. |
| 00:16:30 |
Kevvy! You look so cute. |
| 00:16:33 |
And you look hot. |
| 00:16:36 |
And your muscles, they're so ripply. |
| 00:16:39 |
Aw, babe. |
| 00:16:41 |
Hey! You guys are supposed to be watching the pool! |
| 00:16:44 |
What about this arm? Is it ripply, too? |
| 00:16:46 |
Ooh... let me see how ripply. Oh... |
| 00:17:05 |
Can't talk... top secret mission. |
| 00:17:07 |
Well, complete your mission soon because I'm sending you on another one. Mr. |
| 00:17:11 |
O'Neill called looking for day camp volunteers and I signed you up. |
| 00:17:14 |
You didn't. |
| 00:17:15 |
You start Monday. I'm sorry, but you're not staying locked up in your room all summer. |
| 00:17:20 |
So instead, you're going to lock me up with a busload of whiny kids and the poor |
| 00:17:23 |
man's Kathy Lee Gifford. |
| 00:17:25 |
Daria, you need to be more tolerant. You know what they say. "Judge and be judged." |
| 00:17:29 |
And I judge myself unfit for human contact. |
| 00:17:32 |
That's exactly what you will be if you don't start engaging with the rest of us. |
| 00:17:36 |
You keep hiding your real face behind that antisocial mask and one day the mask |
| 00:17:40 |
will be your face. I'm not letting that happen. You're working at that camp. |
| 00:17:45 |
What about my feelings? What about my rights? What about my bribe? |
| 00:17:52 |
But Stacy, how can I possibly decide if you should wear your chocolate brown or |
| 00:17:56 |
beige brown headband if you haven't picked out your eyeliner? Beige brown, bye. |
| 00:18:02 |
Sorry. |
| 00:18:02 |
Okay. As I was saying, people in the Middle Ages were in constant... |
| 00:18:05 |
God, we're still in the Middle Ages? I mean, things were so depressing then, and |
| 00:18:10 |
everyone was so short. Sandi, hi. I'm kind of bus... she wore under-the-knee |
| 00:18:16 |
knee socks? No! |
| 00:18:19 |
Hang on a second. Where are you going? |
| 00:18:21 |
Far, far away. |
| 00:18:23 |
Sandi, I'll call you right back. Okay. So we were talking about short people. |
| 00:18:27 |
No, you were talking about sock length. See ya. |
| 00:18:30 |
But you can't go! I haven't learned anything! |
| 00:18:33 |
Gee, and how do you propose to do that when you're on the phone through the |
| 00:18:36 |
whole session? |
| 00:18:37 |
But they call, David, they call! |
| 00:18:40 |
Look, you seem bright enough, but I just can't sit here and listen to any more |
| 00:18:43 |
vacuous prattle with your brain-dead friends. Eyeliner, headband colors... God, |
| 00:18:48 |
are you boring. |
| 00:18:49 |
I'm not boring! I'm popular! |
| 00:18:51 |
Hey, the only reason you're popular is your looks, and those won't last forever. |
| 00:18:55 |
You have nothing interesting to say and no intellectual curiosity whatsoever. Do |
| 00:19:00 |
the world a favor and don't go to college. Give up your spot to somebody who |
| 00:19:04 |
wants to learn. |
| 00:19:05 |
But... you just said I was bright! |
| 00:19:07 |
So what? It doesn't matter, if you're hell-bent on achieving complete brain |
| 00:19:11 |
atrophy before you're old enough to vote. |
| 00:19:13 |
I'm not! |
| 00:19:14 |
Do you even know what atrophy means? |
| 00:19:17 |
David, my friends and I all got practically the same scores on our P-STATs. |
| 00:19:22 |
So? |
| 00:19:22 |
So they were bad. And I know I can do better. It's not like I care or anything, |
| 00:19:27 |
it's just that I know I can. |
| 00:19:28 |
It's not like you care? It's not like you want to do better? Then why the hell |
| 00:19:32 |
am I here? |
| 00:19:34 |
All right. I care. I want to do better. |
| 00:19:38 |
Okay, then... the Middle Ages. |
| 00:19:42 |
"With a knickknack, gentle pat, give the dog a bone, this young person helps out |
| 00:19:46 |
at home." |
| 00:19:48 |
Now just the counselors. "This young person, he played... " Oh, dear. |
| 00:19:55 |
Greetings, and welcome to the Okay to Cry Corral. I'm Uncle Timothy, and |
| 00:20:00 |
together, we're going to take a journey to the land of self-discovery. A land |
| 00:20:04 |
where it's okay to laugh, and it's okay... to cry. |
| 00:20:09 |
I feel like doing that now. |
| 00:20:10 |
And now, I'd like my co-counselors, Daria and Uncle Anthony, to say a few words |
| 00:20:15 |
about what they hope to accomplish here. |
| 00:20:21 |
After you, Daria. |
| 00:20:22 |
Thanks, Uncle Anthony. My goal is to get out of this unscathed. |
| 00:20:29 |
I'm hoping to rediscover the joys and satisfactions of teaching, and the motives |
| 00:20:33 |
that led me to pursue such a thankless... I mean, rewarding profession in the |
| 00:20:37 |
first place. At least that's what my doctor says I need to do before I incur a |
| 00:20:41 |
cerebral hemorrhage! |
| 00:20:42 |
Uncle Anthony... I mean, what are your goals for the campers? |
| 00:20:48 |
Oh. Um... "To help make this a pleasurable experience for all. Let's learn to |
| 00:20:55 |
love ourselves together." |
| 00:21:00 |
Okay. Let's divide into three groups, shall we? One, two, three. Daria, you take |
| 00:21:06 |
group one. |
| 00:21:08 |
Um... hello. Would, um, anyone like to say anything before we get started? |
| 00:21:13 |
How come you're so pale? |
| 00:21:14 |
Why do you bite your nails? |
| 00:21:16 |
Do you ever smile? |
| 00:21:18 |
Um, how about you? Would you like to say anything? |
| 00:21:22 |
Is it fall yet? |
| 00:21:26 |
When I unveiled "Paper Plate Genocide" in 1991, it was hailed as intriguing, |
| 00:21:30 |
provocative, even brilliant. And not just by me. |
| 00:21:35 |
No, we all know critics tend to get carried away. But what was I thinking when |
| 00:21:39 |
I created a work that seems to have turned out both seminal and semiotic? |
| 00:21:43 |
"I can't believe I'm getting away with this?" |
| 00:21:45 |
Excuse me, Mr. Dotson? |
| 00:21:47 |
Please... Paris, isn't it? Call me Daniel. |
| 00:21:50 |
Daniel. I just want to say, I think you're the greatest living artist of our time. |
| 00:21:55 |
"And not just because I have no taste." |
| 00:22:00 |
I was wondering, where do you get your inspiration? |
| 00:22:03 |
"My alimony bills." |
| 00:22:04 |
I don't sit around and wait for inspiration. I grab it -- in the glint of the |
| 00:22:08 |
sun on a frozen peak... in the pain of an arthritic's hobble... in a lover's |
| 00:22:13 |
whisper in the dark. So I'd have to say, my inspiration comes from life itself. |
| 00:22:18 |
Wow. |
| 00:22:19 |
Well, that's enough of the old windbag's ramblings for today. We'll pick up here tomorrow. |
| 00:22:27 |
Hi. I'm Alison. |
| 00:22:28 |
Jane. |
| 00:22:29 |
Our Mr. Dotson's really something, isn't he? |
| 00:22:31 |
Well, he certainly doesn't let substance get in the way of self-congratulatory yap. |
| 00:22:35 |
At least we'll never have to worry about him intimidating us with his talent. |
| 00:22:40 |
I want an Astro-Pop! |
| 00:22:41 |
Hang on. |
| 00:22:42 |
Ring the bell! |
| 00:22:43 |
Give me a fudge bar! |
| 00:22:45 |
Just a second. |
| 00:22:45 |
The flavor went out of my sno-cone! |
| 00:22:47 |
You suck! |
| 00:22:48 |
Yeah, you suck! |
| 00:22:53 |
Yeah? |
| 00:22:53 |
Sounds like you're having as good a day as I am. |
| 00:22:56 |
Well, things are looking up now. Want to do something later? |
| 00:22:59 |
I can't. I'm gonna be stuffing envelopes all night. But I'll see you at my |
| 00:23:03 |
family's Fourth of July party, right? |
| 00:23:05 |
Right. Unless I... shove an ice cream scooper down someone's throat first! |
| 00:23:16 |
Are drug-crazed rodents raiding your child's medicine cabinet? |
| 00:23:20 |
"Rats on Ritalin," next on Sick, Sad World. |
| 00:23:23 |
Hey. Maybe you should get some of that for the little campers. |
| 00:23:25 |
Ritalin or the rats? |
| 00:23:26 |
Hello, Daria. It's nice to see you again. |
| 00:23:29 |
Um, you, too, Mrs. Sloane. Hi, Elsie. |
| 00:23:32 |
Elsie, why don't you show Tom and Daria the dress Richard made you for the |
| 00:23:35 |
Starry Night Ball? |
| 00:23:36 |
Oh, I couldn't ruin the surprise. |
| 00:23:38 |
Daria, is there any way I can change your mind about going? Then you and I could |
| 00:23:42 |
gang up and convince Tom. |
| 00:23:44 |
Um... |
| 00:23:45 |
Sorry, I forgot to tell you. Mom's on the board of the Lawndale Art Museum. |
| 00:23:49 |
They're holding a benefit to raise money for a new wet bar. |
| 00:23:51 |
A new gallery. It should be a lot of fun. |
| 00:23:54 |
Um, sounds like it. |
| 00:23:55 |
If you like watching ice sculptures melt. |
| 00:23:58 |
Actually, these things are excruciatingly dull and stuffy, and I told her |
| 00:24:01 |
there's no way we're going. |
| 00:24:02 |
Well, um, I guess that's right. |
| 00:24:04 |
You wouldn't want to compromise your quasi-rebelliousness. |
| 00:24:07 |
I hope Richard left enough room in that dress for your faux jadedness. |
| 00:24:10 |
Children! You know, Daria, this event is not members-only. I'd love to send your |
| 00:24:14 |
parents an invitation if you think they'd be interested. |
| 00:24:17 |
Um... thanks. |
| 00:24:18 |
Are you going to blow off fireworks at the club, too? |
| 00:24:22 |
Sorry. I forgot. We can't. I already told... promised Daria I'd go with her to |
| 00:24:27 |
her friend's Fourth of July party. |
| 00:24:28 |
Daria, what can we do to get into your good graces? |
| 00:24:36 |
Now, I want each of you to think of the blue lanyard as representing how you |
| 00:24:40 |
feel on the inside, and the green as how you present yourself on the outside. |
| 00:24:45 |
Picture... |
| 00:24:46 |
It's a hundred degrees! Can't we go for a swim in the lake? |
| 00:24:49 |
Yeah... lake! |
| 00:24:50 |
Now, Kristin... do we really want to risk exposure to algae blooms? Maybe some |
| 00:24:54 |
other time, when it's not quite as warm out. |
| 00:24:58 |
The blue strand represents the gnawing feeling of failure growing with each |
| 00:25:03 |
wasted year. The green represents the ulcer you're developing from the |
| 00:25:08 |
unrelenting indignities you suffer. Take the blue and cross it under... I mean, |
| 00:25:14 |
over the loop and then through the frustration... argh... ! Lanyards suck! |
| 00:25:25 |
So continue threading the blue with the green until you've finished. Or can't |
| 00:25:29 |
take the tedium anymore. |
| 00:25:37 |
Hey, Link. Need some help? |
| 00:25:39 |
Nope. All done. |
| 00:25:47 |
Hey, Quinn, can I get you a soda? |
| 00:25:49 |
How about a lemon for your soda? |
| 00:25:50 |
How about a knife for your lemon? |
| 00:25:51 |
Um, okay. |
| 00:25:53 |
Gee, Quinn... I'm surprised you're not at the planetarium with the jet |
| 00:25:57 |
propulsion club, what with all your tutoring. |
| 00:26:00 |
Sandi, shh. I'm trying to keep that a little quiet, remember? |
| 00:26:04 |
Say no more. As your friend and fellow Fashion Club officer, I give you my |
| 00:26:08 |
solemn word that your secret is safe with me. |
| 00:26:11 |
Thanks, Sandi. |
| 00:26:12 |
I will never tell a soul that you, Quinn Morgendorffer, are seeing a tutor. |
| 00:26:18 |
Quinn... you're seeing a tutor? |
| 00:26:19 |
Quinn, I'm so sorry. I didn't see them sneaking up behind you. |
| 00:26:24 |
Um, yeah... I'm being tutored because of my P-STAT scores. |
| 00:26:28 |
That's cool. |
| 00:26:29 |
Hey, yeah. |
| 00:26:30 |
Awesome. |
| 00:26:30 |
Really? |
| 00:26:31 |
Hey, next year could you help me with my homework? |
| 00:26:33 |
No, me! I'm stupider than he is. |
| 00:26:35 |
I can barely spell my own name. |
| 00:26:39 |
Gee, I didn't realize being tutored provides you with an opportunity to help |
| 00:26:43 |
others. Maybe I should get a tutor. |
| 00:26:46 |
Yeah... me, too. |
| 00:26:49 |
Oh, God, I think I need one, too. |
| 00:26:52 |
Jodie, what have you been up to this summer? |
| 00:26:54 |
Soup kitchen, crisis center, Congressman Sack's office, fund raising, golf lessons. |
| 00:26:59 |
Isn't she something? |
| 00:27:00 |
Oh, yes. And Michael, is it? What are you doing this summer? |
| 00:27:03 |
Driving an ice cream truck. |
| 00:27:06 |
Oh. |
| 00:27:08 |
Hey, there's Daria with that guy who claims to be her brother. I'm going to trap |
| 00:27:12 |
him in his own web of lies. |
| 00:27:15 |
Oh, Kevin, you're so... spidery! |
| 00:27:19 |
It's been a lovely evening, but I think I'm ready to go home now. But first, a |
| 00:27:24 |
word from the village idiots. |
| 00:27:25 |
Hi, Daria! Hi, Tom! |
| 00:27:28 |
Hey. |
| 00:27:28 |
Hi. |
| 00:27:29 |
Say there, um, Tom. If you're Daria's brother, how come we never saw you before |
| 00:27:34 |
this year? |
| 00:27:35 |
That should be obvious. They weren't able to match up our telltale birthmarks |
| 00:27:38 |
until now. |
| 00:27:38 |
Oh. Hey, man, I'm sorry. |
| 00:27:41 |
I have something to tell you two. Tom's not my brother. |
| 00:27:44 |
Aha! |
| 00:27:45 |
He's the mad scientist who built me. He has to hang around in case my internal |
| 00:27:49 |
organs fall out. |
| 00:27:51 |
Eww... ! |
| 00:27:52 |
I'm her date. |
| 00:27:56 |
Good one, man. |
| 00:27:57 |
Wait a minute, Kevvy. He's serious. But how can you be dating Jane and Daria? |
| 00:28:03 |
Well, I'm not dating Jane anymore. |
| 00:28:05 |
Oh. Oh! Daria! |
| 00:28:10 |
Um, will you excuse us for a while? We'll be back right after man walks on the sun. |
| 00:28:15 |
Wow... Daria's dating her best friend's boyfriend. |
| 00:28:19 |
So then, whose brother is he? |
| 00:28:23 |
Hey, Daria. Thanks for coming. Tom Sloane, right? Jane's boyfriend? |
| 00:28:27 |
Actually, we're just friends now. |
| 00:28:28 |
Oh, that's too bad. You guys were a cute couple. Any chance for a reconciliation? |
| 00:28:32 |
Um, Jodie... Hell's frozen over and Tom's here with me. |
| 00:28:36 |
What? I mean... it didn't occur to me that, um... you know... Dad! You remember |
| 00:28:42 |
Daria Morgendorffer. And this is Tom Sloane. |
| 00:28:44 |
Sloane? You're not Angier's boy, are you? |
| 00:28:48 |
As a matter of fact, yeah. |
| 00:28:49 |
Great guy. And how's your lovely mother, Katherine? |
| 00:28:52 |
You know my mother? |
| 00:28:53 |
I just had the pleasure. We're up for membership at Winged Tree and she's on the |
| 00:28:56 |
board. Forget politics. That's power. |
| 00:29:04 |
I can't believe I let you talk me into this. |
| 00:29:06 |
You can't eat in your room forever. Why go to an artists' colony if you're not |
| 00:29:09 |
going to mingle with your fellow artists? |
| 00:29:11 |
That's like saying why go to a penal colony if you're not going to mingle with |
| 00:29:14 |
your fellow... I think I'll stop there. |
| 00:29:17 |
Come on, I know they'll warm up to you if you give them a chance. |
| 00:29:20 |
Um, are we by any chance conversing across parallel dimensions? |
| 00:29:23 |
I'll bet you dinner I'm right. |
| 00:29:25 |
You're on, sucker. |
| 00:29:27 |
Mind if we join you? |
| 00:29:28 |
Not at all. |
| 00:29:29 |
How's everyone liking the colony so far? |
| 00:29:31 |
I love it. It's so... freeing. |
| 00:29:34 |
And Daniel? That man is brilliant. He said my white-on-white painting was a |
| 00:29:39 |
stroke of inspiration. |
| 00:29:40 |
I'll bet you two have explored all sorts of strokes together. |
| 00:29:46 |
Oh well, I suppose genius does have its prerogatives. |
| 00:29:49 |
Well, I don't know if Daniel's a genius. |
| 00:29:51 |
No offense, Jane, but aren't you still in high school? How much can you know |
| 00:29:55 |
about art at this point? |
| 00:29:56 |
Excuse me? |
| 00:29:57 |
Paris, we all had to submit a portfolio to be accepted here. I'd say Jane knows |
| 00:30:01 |
quite a bit about art. |
| 00:30:04 |
I'm sure you're right. I apologize. Are you guys ready to go? |
| 00:30:10 |
Gee, that was fun. But in the future, let's save time and just roll around on gravel. |
| 00:30:14 |
Sorry about that. I guess I owe you one. |
| 00:30:17 |
You owe me dinner. |
| 00:30:20 |
"Brush, brush, brush your teeth, using good hygiene, up and down and up and down |
| 00:30:25 |
and floss until they gleam." Everybody! |
| 00:30:29 |
"Brush, brush, brush your teeth, using good hygiene, up and down and up and |
| 00:30:34 |
down, floss until they gleam." |
| 00:30:38 |
Remember, don't think about what you're doing, because I don't really want a |
| 00:30:42 |
painting from you. I want a painting from the child within. |
| 00:30:46 |
It's so pretty out. Can't we go for a hike? Please? |
| 00:30:52 |
Now, campers. I wouldn't be a very caring counselor if I let you run |
| 00:30:55 |
higgledy-piggledy through the poison ivy and ticks. One day there'll be time to |
| 00:30:59 |
explore the woods, after we explore ourselves. |
| 00:31:04 |
Well, well, Josh. What have we here? A football player? May I inquire why? |
| 00:31:10 |
My child within wants to be a winner. Everyone knows football players are winners. |
| 00:31:14 |
I see. Obviously, your definition of a winner is a degenerate slacker with |
| 00:31:17 |
pigskin for brains, an unshakable desire to sleep through class, and a lifetime |
| 00:31:23 |
goal of excelling at arm noise contests while never, ever doing any honest work |
| 00:31:27 |
of any kind! Is that right?! |
| 00:31:33 |
Oh, my gosh. Anthony, what happened? |
| 00:31:36 |
I, uh... Timothy, I think I may have spoken too harshly to a camper. |
| 00:31:40 |
Oh, no. Was he traumatized? |
| 00:31:42 |
I'm no good at working with young people! Why, oh, why did I ever think I could? |
| 00:31:50 |
Josh is the worst bully at camp. |
| 00:31:52 |
I hate his child within. |
| 00:31:53 |
Hooray for Uncle Anthony! |
| 00:31:57 |
Oh... thank you, campers! |
| 00:32:05 |
Okay, let's talk about the rise and fall of the Roman Empire. In 753 B.C., |
| 00:32:10 |
Romulus and Remus... |
| 00:32:12 |
Um, excuse me, is this going to take long? I still have a few accessories left |
| 00:32:16 |
to buy for my date tonight. |
| 00:32:17 |
Well, look. Rome wasn't built in a day, if you know what I mean. |
| 00:32:20 |
Good one. Might I suggest then that we finish this session at Cashman's? |
| 00:32:25 |
Sandi, if you're not going to take this seriously... |
| 00:32:27 |
Are you implying that I can't shop and give you my attention? Because I don't |
| 00:32:31 |
think that's the sort of confidence-building a tutor is supposed to provide his student. |
| 00:32:37 |
We're not going to the mall. |
| 00:32:38 |
You academics aren't very understanding of the pressures facing normal people. |
| 00:32:43 |
Nevertheless, if we leave now, I'll buy you a sno-cone. |
| 00:32:45 |
Forget it. I quit. |
| 00:32:48 |
Geek. |
| 00:32:50 |
Steinbeck was perhaps best known for his poignant novel about the "Okies"... |
| 00:32:53 |
Uh-huh... |
| 00:32:55 |
A heavy metal band famous for having a baboon on bass. |
| 00:32:58 |
Uh-huh... |
| 00:33:01 |
Uh, why'd you do that? |
| 00:33:03 |
Because I'm not here to watch you put on makeup. |
| 00:33:05 |
But... I don't mind. |
| 00:33:07 |
Well, I do. Now, if you did your reading, you'll recall that Steinbeck was... |
| 00:33:11 |
what are you doing? |
| 00:33:12 |
This toaster's really shiny. |
| 00:33:17 |
Later. |
| 00:33:19 |
Huh? |
| 00:33:22 |
During the Reconstruction, Southerners complained that the newly installed |
| 00:33:26 |
government officials were nothing more than carpetbaggers. |
| 00:33:28 |
They were making fun of their butts? Wait, that would be saddlebaggers... |
| 00:33:34 |
Oh, no... that's the look my mother always gets when I say something stupid. I'm |
| 00:33:38 |
such an idiot. I'll never get anywhere in life! |
| 00:33:40 |
At least you're trying. Unlike Sandi and Tiffany, whom I had to drop. Now, the carpet... |
| 00:33:45 |
Wait -- you dropped them? |
| 00:33:47 |
Yup. The carpetbaggers... |
| 00:33:48 |
Why didn't they tell me? I'm being shut out. I can't believe this is happening |
| 00:33:51 |
to me. I knew this was going to happen to me. Oh, why did I wear that butterfly clip? |
| 00:34:04 |
Congressman Sack's office. Hey! How's it going? |
| 00:34:08 |
Terrible. You want to go to a movie Saturday? |
| 00:34:10 |
I have to pull a double shift at the crisis center. |
| 00:34:12 |
You know, I never see you anymore. |
| 00:34:14 |
I know, but look at it this way. I'm wasting away the summer stuck inside all |
| 00:34:17 |
day. At least you get to drive around in your nice white suit ringing your |
| 00:34:21 |
little bells. |
| 00:34:22 |
Hey, you think it's funny that I have to do this?! |
| 00:34:24 |
Who said it was funny? I got to get this. I'll talk to you later. |
| 00:34:27 |
We want ice cream! |
| 00:34:29 |
Yeah... later. |
| 00:34:35 |
Daria! It's that Tom! |
| 00:34:40 |
Hello? |
| 00:34:40 |
Hey, it's me. I was wondering what you're doing tonight. |
| 00:34:43 |
Actually, I'm... not feeling that well. |
| 00:34:46 |
Still? Then can I bring you a bowl of soup? I'll even throw in a couple of |
| 00:34:50 |
goldfish crackers. Or real goldfish, if you prefer. |
| 00:34:53 |
Thanks, but I'm kind of beat. I think I'll pass. |
| 00:34:56 |
Daria... is everything all right? |
| 00:34:58 |
Never better. I mean, except for this cold. |
| 00:35:01 |
You know I'm leaving for the cove in a week, right? I won't see you for a month. |
| 00:35:04 |
I know. Um, a month's not that long. |
| 00:35:08 |
All right. Call me if you feel like getting out, okay? |
| 00:35:11 |
Sure. |
| 00:35:15 |
Link, I asked you to stop by because I've noticed you seem a little bit... subdued. |
| 00:35:20 |
I was gonna say miserable, but okay. |
| 00:35:22 |
Growing up is kind of like being a kite, isn't it? We want to fly, but we don't |
| 00:35:26 |
really trust ourselves to cut the parental string and soar with the birds. |
| 00:35:31 |
A kite doesn't fly if you cut its string. It blows around in the wind for a |
| 00:35:35 |
while and then crashes. |
| 00:35:37 |
Exactly. Just the way we... |
| 00:35:39 |
You might know that if you ever took us outside. |
| 00:35:41 |
Oh, well, I... |
| 00:35:42 |
What do you know? 'Cause it seems to me you spout out a lot of crap about loving |
| 00:35:46 |
ourselves, and that doesn't do any good to someone trying to figure out why his |
| 00:35:50 |
mother threw his father out for being a jerk and then went and married a bigger one. |
| 00:35:54 |
Oh, well, that certainly sounds like something we can talk about... |
| 00:35:56 |
I don't want to talk about it. I want to go to a real camp where you run around |
| 00:36:00 |
all day doing stuff until you're too tired to think. Can we do that, "Uncle Timothy"? |
| 00:36:05 |
Well, you see, Link, much as I'd like to, we have to keep the other children's |
| 00:36:09 |
safety in mind. |
| 00:36:10 |
That's what I thought. You don't really care about making kids feel better. |
| 00:36:14 |
Of course I do! |
| 00:36:15 |
Okay, then I guess the problem is just that you suck at it. |
| 00:36:20 |
It'll be okay. That was just Link's anger with himself talking. |
| 00:36:31 |
Um, keep up the good work. |
| 00:36:35 |
Hey, everything okay? |
| 00:36:36 |
How can you stand this place?! |
| 00:36:38 |
Um, 'cause I'm one of the guards instead of the prisoners? |
| 00:36:40 |
Yeah. Right. |
| 00:36:42 |
Look, you want to go for a walk? |
| 00:36:44 |
Outside? That would be dangerous. |
| 00:36:46 |
Tell you what. I won't say a word. It'll be just like going by yourself, except |
| 00:36:50 |
for the by-yourself part. |
| 00:36:56 |
God, I envy you, Jane. To have all that talent and focus at your age. |
| 00:37:00 |
Oh, come on. |
| 00:37:01 |
I wish I could be in high school again, knowing what I know now. |
| 00:37:04 |
A little perspective and you could sidestep all the torture, huh? |
| 00:37:07 |
No. |
| 00:37:11 |
Hell, I'd trade places with you in a minute. You're doing exactly what I want |
| 00:37:14 |
to. Making it on your own as an artist. |
| 00:37:17 |
Trying to, anyway. |
| 00:37:18 |
Hey, you'll do it. |
| 00:37:20 |
So will you. Little more? |
| 00:37:22 |
Why not? |
| 00:37:25 |
You and your future. Me and my so-called career. I guess we've each got |
| 00:37:29 |
something the other would love to have. |
| 00:37:36 |
Daria? How are things at camp? Daria? |
| 00:37:40 |
Well, let's see. Tomorrow we're going to push the campers to their physical |
| 00:37:43 |
limits by having them make paper doll chains. |
| 00:37:46 |
Ha! A joke... right? |
| 00:37:48 |
That's what I keep telling myself. |
| 00:37:51 |
Hello? Yes, this is Helen Morgendorffer. Kay Sloane? Oh, yes, hello! |
| 00:37:58 |
It's very nice to speak with you at last. I'm sorry we haven't met yet. |
| 00:38:01 |
Oh, yes, I know. |
| 00:38:03 |
In fact, that's sort of why I'm calling. We're having a little benefit for the |
| 00:38:07 |
Lawndale Art Museum we're calling the Starry Night Ball. Do you think you might |
| 00:38:11 |
like to attend? We could finally meet and do our bit for the arts. |
| 00:38:15 |
The Starry Night Ball? What a wonderful idea. Without the arts, what |
| 00:38:20 |
distinguishes us from animals, right? |
| 00:38:22 |
Well, let's see. Animals don't feel the need to suck up to wealthier animals. |
| 00:38:27 |
Wonderful. It's on September eighth, and tickets are a thousand dollars per |
| 00:38:30 |
couple. Or you can buy a table for $5,000, but please don't feel obligated to do that. |
| 00:38:36 |
Um, did you say the eighth? Oh, dear, that's the weekend of the office retreat. |
| 00:38:41 |
Well, I'll check to be sure, but... yes, I'm sorry. It was nice speaking with |
| 00:38:48 |
you, too. Good-bye. Whew... |
| 00:38:52 |
Damn it, Helen, I want to go to the ball! |
| 00:38:54 |
Yes, why should your wicked stepsisters have all the fun? |
| 00:38:57 |
I mean to hobnob with all those rich people. Clients... money... |
| 00:39:03 |
Hobnob? |
| 00:39:04 |
Jake, the tickets are a thousand dollars. |
| 00:39:06 |
A thousand bucks! Insensitive rich bastards! Don't they know some people have to |
| 00:39:11 |
work for a living?! |
| 00:39:12 |
Relax. I think she bought my excuse. |
| 00:39:15 |
Thank God. |
| 00:39:16 |
Oh, dear... I hope they won't think we're cheap now. |
| 00:39:19 |
Who cares what they think? |
| 00:39:20 |
What's the matter with you? |
| 00:39:21 |
It's bad enough the rest of the town grovels at the Sloanes' feet. Now I have to |
| 00:39:25 |
put up with it in my own home? |
| 00:39:29 |
Was I groveling? |
| 00:39:30 |
Was she joking? |
| 00:39:34 |
These pastels are great. |
| 00:39:35 |
Thanks. I wish the galleries felt the same way. |
| 00:39:38 |
They're nuts. |
| 00:39:39 |
I knew you'd get what I'm trying to do. Top that off? |
| 00:39:43 |
No, I'd better call it a night. I get cranky if I don't get my usual 12 hours. |
| 00:39:47 |
Come on, it's still early. I'm sure we can find something to do to amuse ourselves. |
| 00:39:52 |
Well, that's where the whole sleeping thing factors in. I'll see you tomorrow. |
| 00:39:57 |
I'm exhausted. |
| 00:39:58 |
I can't let you walk home in your condition. I'm going to have to insist that |
| 00:40:02 |
you lie down. |
| 00:40:03 |
No, really, I'm fine. |
| 00:40:05 |
I promise not to kick you out of bed in the morning. Well, unless you're snoring. |
| 00:40:09 |
Thanks, but I... oh, God. |
| 00:40:12 |
What's the matter? I'm not your type? |
| 00:40:14 |
Um, Alison... I'm straight. |
| 00:40:17 |
Yeah, right. I don't think so. |
| 00:40:20 |
I'm not gay. |
| 00:40:22 |
Where have I heard that before? Wait a minute. Is this your first time with a |
| 00:40:26 |
girl? Well, no wonder you're nervous. |
| 00:40:29 |
Alison... read my lips. I like guys. |
| 00:40:32 |
And hanging out with bisexuals in their bedrooms after they buy you dinner. |
| 00:40:36 |
Hey, I didn't know you were bi. And the dinner thing was settling a bet. |
| 00:40:40 |
Sure... settling a bet. I'm sorry, baby, but I never hit on straight chicks. |
| 00:40:45 |
Listen, you've been really nice to me and all, and I really appreciate it, but |
| 00:40:49 |
I'm not interested in women. |
| 00:40:51 |
You mean you're not ready to admit it. |
| 00:40:54 |
I gotta go. |
| 00:41:04 |
Eep! |
| 00:41:05 |
Man, it's hard to see out of this thing. |
| 00:41:08 |
Kevvy, this is terrible! That icky pool water is turning my hair green! |
| 00:41:12 |
Wow, you really do have green hair. Green hair, green hair! |
| 00:41:17 |
Kevvy, it's not funny! |
| 00:41:19 |
Ho-ho-ho! It's the jolly green babe. |
| 00:41:21 |
Ooh... |
| 00:41:23 |
Ho-ho-ho! Green babe. Ow! |
| 00:41:25 |
You big jerk! |
| 00:41:41 |
You two mess up one more time and you're fired. |
| 00:41:46 |
Now, everyone hold the hand of the person next to them while we all visualize |
| 00:41:50 |
the same word: "trust." |
| 00:41:53 |
But we've been sitting inside all day. Can't we go out and play? Please? |
| 00:41:58 |
Now, Curtis, we're listening to our souls. It's much easier to hear them indoors. |
| 00:42:03 |
Uncle Anthony, can't you talk to him? |
| 00:42:05 |
You're such a great counselor. |
| 00:42:07 |
Um, Uncle Timothy... perhaps little Curtis has a point. Maybe frolicking |
| 00:42:12 |
outdoors would offer a refreshing counterpoint to sitting in a circle like a |
| 00:42:17 |
quilting bee of shut-ins! |
| 00:42:19 |
Anthony, please. You're supposed to be setting an example. Besides, quilting can |
| 00:42:23 |
be very therapeutic. Now... oops. Time for my Echinacea. I'll be back in a |
| 00:42:28 |
jiffy. Now everyone, hold hands and feel the warmth. |
| 00:42:37 |
Peanut butter! Sitting in circles... stupid songs... arts and crafts... |
| 00:42:42 |
cruel and unusual... hell! I can't take it anymore! |
| 00:42:54 |
I'm going on a hike! |
| 00:43:03 |
Come on. Even I'll admit that was mildly amusing. |
| 00:43:06 |
Whatever. |
| 00:43:07 |
Look, for what it's worth, when I was your age, I, um... had this friend who was |
| 00:43:12 |
kind of like you. The only people she liked were the ones in books, and she |
| 00:43:16 |
spent most of her time in her room convinced the world had been quietly taken |
| 00:43:19 |
over by a race of idiot space aliens. |
| 00:43:22 |
And then one day your "friend" grew out of it and went on to make many more |
| 00:43:26 |
friends, and now her life is one big bowl of cherries. |
| 00:43:29 |
Okay. Bad example. But maybe things would have been a little easier for my |
| 00:43:34 |
friend if she hadn't kept everything bottled up inside. You know, if she'd had |
| 00:43:39 |
someone to talk to. |
| 00:43:40 |
Or maybe "she" did try talking, and the people just told her to shut up, or paid |
| 00:43:44 |
someone else to deal with her because they were too busy "listening to their souls." |
| 00:43:48 |
You think that's what's happening to you? |
| 00:43:50 |
Hey, look around, Daria. Everybody's so busy being their own best friend, maybe |
| 00:43:55 |
they should try buddying up to the people they brought into the damn world, who |
| 00:43:58 |
never asked to be born. |
| 00:44:00 |
Oh. |
| 00:44:01 |
So, what books does your "friend" like to read, anyway? |
| 00:44:05 |
Well, let's see. When she was 12, she was really into George Orwell... |
| 00:44:09 |
Daria! Link! Having a little one-on-one session? |
| 00:44:12 |
Yes, and so by definition, it can't include... |
| 00:44:15 |
Daria, I knew you could do it. See? It's easier to "rap" with Daria than with |
| 00:44:19 |
me, isn't it? A teen who's closer to your own age. But I'm just as concerned as |
| 00:44:24 |
she is about your well-being. |
| 00:44:27 |
I should have known. |
| 00:44:28 |
Hey, wait... |
| 00:44:30 |
Oh. Did I say something wrong? Oh, my. What happened to the window? Um... |
| 00:44:37 |
where'd everybody go? |
| 00:44:39 |
But when the workers stormed the Bastille, they only found seven prisoners, and |
| 00:44:43 |
one of them was the Marquis de Sade. |
| 00:44:45 |
Eww. |
| 00:44:46 |
That's more or less the way they felt. |
| 00:44:47 |
Did Marie Antoinette really have the champagne glasses molded after her... you know? |
| 00:44:53 |
We really should be focusing more on the politics of the Revolution, but that's |
| 00:44:57 |
what they say. If she'd been a different body type, we'd be drinking champagne |
| 00:45:00 |
out of bowls. |
| 00:45:02 |
David, I must say I'm quite impressed. I've never seen Quinn have so much fun studying. |
| 00:45:07 |
That's because in school they only teach you the really boring stuff. Mom? Dad? |
| 00:45:12 |
Did you know Marie Antoinette never said "let them eat cake?" That expression |
| 00:45:17 |
comes from a story about a princess, written by Rousseau. Right? |
| 00:45:20 |
Right. |
| 00:45:21 |
Lousy tabloids. |
| 00:45:24 |
We've got to run. Bye. |
| 00:45:26 |
Wait... um, I was joking. |
| 00:45:28 |
You were not. |
| 00:45:29 |
I know. |
| 00:45:30 |
Was Marie Antoinette pretty? |
| 00:45:32 |
They said she was a great beauty. Of course, you won't find a lot of people |
| 00:45:35 |
willing to call their absolute monarch butt-ugly. |
| 00:45:38 |
David, do you think... I'm pretty? |
| 00:45:40 |
Sure. |
| 00:45:41 |
By the way, have you been to Chez Pierre? Because it's really nice if you ever |
| 00:45:45 |
wanted to take me there. And it would be kind of educational, since we're |
| 00:45:48 |
studying French history and stuff. |
| 00:45:50 |
Thanks, but you don't want to be seen around town with an egghead. Your friends |
| 00:45:53 |
would behead you. Well, that's about it for today. Now, be sure to read the |
| 00:45:58 |
chapter on the Industrial Revolution, and don't forget your vocabulary words. |
| 00:46:02 |
I'll be back for more pedagogy next week. Quinn? Pedagogy? That's one of the words. |
| 00:46:09 |
Yeah. Pedagogy. |
| 00:46:14 |
Excellent. The brushwork is very confident, and I love the strained, almost |
| 00:46:18 |
antagonistic relationship with color. Really, you remind me of myself when I was young. |
| 00:46:23 |
Oh, Daniel. You're not old. |
| 00:46:26 |
Well, I'm certainly young... at heart. |
| 00:46:29 |
Not to mention delusional of mind. |
| 00:46:37 |
Hey. |
| 00:46:37 |
Hey. |
| 00:46:38 |
Haven't seen you around. |
| 00:46:39 |
Oh, you know, the solitary artist. Look, I gotta be honest. That whole thing |
| 00:46:44 |
that happened between -- I mean, didn't happen -- well, it kind of confused me. |
| 00:46:49 |
Me, too. Maybe I was hoping a little too hard and saw something that wasn't there. |
| 00:46:54 |
But you said you never make a mistake in that, um... area. |
| 00:46:57 |
There's a first time for everything. Still want to be friends? |
| 00:47:01 |
Sure. |
| 00:47:03 |
Um, maybe we'll skip the hug. |
| 00:47:05 |
Uh-oh... don't look now, but it's Toulouse le Dreck. |
| 00:47:08 |
Ready? |
| 00:47:09 |
Just a minute. |
| 00:47:09 |
I'll wait for you in the car. |
| 00:47:12 |
You're seeing him? |
| 00:47:13 |
He's not so bad once you get to know him. |
| 00:47:15 |
You said he went through more students than tubes of paint. You can't possibly |
| 00:47:19 |
think he gives a damn about you. |
| 00:47:20 |
Who's looking for romance? I just want to have a little fun. |
| 00:47:24 |
And if it's with someone who can introduce you to a few gallery owners, that's |
| 00:47:27 |
not so bad either, eh? I think I'm beginning to see how the art world works. |
| 00:47:31 |
God, high school. It's all such a big deal with you guys. You take everything so seriously. |
| 00:47:38 |
Like someone telling you you give off gay vibes just because they're trying to |
| 00:47:41 |
get into your pants. |
| 00:47:44 |
Well, campers, before you go, let's take a moment to reflect on the valuable |
| 00:47:48 |
lessons we've learned about ours... |
| 00:47:50 |
Let Uncle Anthony talk! |
| 00:47:51 |
... um, about ourselves and the growth that only we can... |
| 00:47:55 |
Uncle Anthony! He's cool! |
| 00:47:57 |
... um, the personal growth that... |
| 00:48:00 |
Growth my butt! Uncle Anthony! |
| 00:48:04 |
Thank you, campers. Remember: if you feel yourself getting mad, go ahead! |
| 00:48:08 |
If someone's doing something to irritate you, tell them about it in detail! |
| 00:48:12 |
And hike... whenever you feel like it! |
| 00:48:18 |
I... I guess maybe I've been doing more harm than good... |
| 00:48:21 |
Thank you, Timothy. You've reawakened my hunger to enlighten. I want to teach again! |
| 00:48:27 |
Ooh... um, that hurts a bit. |
| 00:48:35 |
Hey, slow down. |
| 00:48:36 |
Go to hell! |
| 00:48:36 |
Just hear me out. Mr. O'Neill didn't ask me to speak to you, and I would never |
| 00:48:40 |
tell him anything anyway, except my name, rank and homeroom number. |
| 00:48:44 |
Yeah, right. |
| 00:48:45 |
Look, I'm not good at this kind of thing -- probably because I've never done |
| 00:48:48 |
this kind of thing -- but if you ever need someone to talk to, um... I'm around. |
| 00:48:53 |
I don't need anyone to talk to. Especially you. |
| 00:49:00 |
Tom! Come in. Daria! Tom's here. Jake and I are so sorry we won't be able to |
| 00:49:07 |
make the museum benefit. Normally we love museums. In fact, we were thinking of |
| 00:49:12 |
seeing the Van Gogh exhibit this week. |
| 00:49:14 |
Um, that exhibit left a year ago. |
| 00:49:17 |
Oh... |
| 00:49:19 |
Well, at least you can be confident your mother's not addicted to sedatives. |
| 00:49:22 |
Hey, she didn't ask to be invited to that stupid fund-raiser. |
| 00:49:26 |
My mother was just trying to be nice. A lot of people like going to those things. |
| 00:49:29 |
Sure. Helping the little people while avoiding contact with them at all cost. |
| 00:49:33 |
Um, is something wrong? |
| 00:49:35 |
No. |
| 00:49:36 |
Come on. I had to beg you to come out tonight, and then the first thing you do |
| 00:49:40 |
is jump down my throat. What's going on? |
| 00:49:42 |
I don't know. It's the museum. And the country club. And your family. You know, |
| 00:49:47 |
your whole elitist world. |
| 00:49:49 |
It's not elitist. And it's not my world. |
| 00:49:52 |
Don't tell me. Tell Aunt Mildred tomorrow when you get to your private island. |
| 00:49:56 |
And be sure not to mention me to her, okay? |
| 00:49:58 |
What? |
| 00:49:59 |
It's obvious you don't want me mixing with your family, since you didn't ask me |
| 00:50:03 |
to the fund-raiser or the fireworks display. |
| 00:50:05 |
Daria, I didn't invite you to those things because I sure as hell didn't want to |
| 00:50:08 |
go and I assumed you wouldn't either. Right? |
| 00:50:11 |
Well, you still should have asked. |
| 00:50:13 |
You're right. |
| 00:50:13 |
Unless you just assumed your parents were gonna hate me. |
| 00:50:15 |
What? What are you talking about? My parents think you're great. They know |
| 00:50:19 |
you're really smart and headed for college and stuff. It's not like you're Jane. |
| 00:50:22 |
What do you mean, "not like I'm Jane?" Jane's smart. |
| 00:50:25 |
Yeah, I know she's smart. But she could get a Ph.D or spend the rest of her days |
| 00:50:29 |
painting tiles, and her parents wouldn't care either way. If we did that, our |
| 00:50:33 |
parents would have a fit. |
| 00:50:35 |
So what you're saying is Jane isn't up to your family's standards. God, you're a snob. |
| 00:50:40 |
Damn it, Daria! Quit trying to pick a fight with me! |
| 00:50:42 |
Excuse me? |
| 00:50:43 |
You attack my mother for inviting your parents to the fund-raiser, then attack |
| 00:50:46 |
me for not inviting you. You say my family disapproves of you, I say they relate |
| 00:50:50 |
to you better than Jane, and now I'm a snob. |
| 00:50:53 |
Forgive me for being a loyal friend. |
| 00:50:55 |
Why don't you say what you're really afraid of? The idea that you might actually |
| 00:50:58 |
start caring about someone. 'Cause that would make you vulnerable. |
| 00:51:03 |
Look, maybe we just jumped into this dating stuff too fast. Maybe we need to |
| 00:51:08 |
take a break. |
| 00:51:08 |
A break? From what? We haven't done anything! Come on, Daria! |
| 00:51:15 |
I don't believe this. |
| 00:51:16 |
Well, I'm not going to stand here and beg. |
| 00:51:20 |
Fine. Nice knowing you. |
| 00:51:27 |
Yeah, nice knowing you. |
| 00:51:31 |
Gee, Quinn, it's sweet of you to take time out from your studies to be with the |
| 00:51:34 |
friends you've neglected all summer. |
| 00:51:37 |
Oh, Sandi, I just wish I were as smart as you so I wouldn't need a tutor. You |
| 00:51:42 |
know, David's kind of funny. |
| 00:51:44 |
If by funny you mean extraordinarily unpleasant, I agree completely. That's why |
| 00:51:50 |
I was forced to terminate his services. |
| 00:51:52 |
What a geek. |
| 00:51:54 |
I know! And so... geeky! |
| 00:51:57 |
But he said... |
| 00:51:58 |
Yes? |
| 00:51:59 |
Nothing. I guess David is a little geeky, although I wouldn't be surprised if |
| 00:52:03 |
some people thought he was cute, you know, in that brainy kind of way. |
| 00:52:07 |
Quinn? Are you trying to tell us something? |
| 00:52:09 |
Me? Oh, no, of course not! Ooh, look! Intermediate markdowns! |
| 00:52:20 |
Of course I did the right thing. He's from his world, I'm from mine. Never would |
| 00:52:24 |
have worked. I mean, unless I tried or something. |
| 00:52:27 |
Here's your book. |
| 00:52:28 |
Um, that's not mine. |
| 00:52:30 |
Oh, right. I borrowed it from David. Um, what do you think of him? |
| 00:52:35 |
Seems like a nice guy. And he obviously has a high threshold for pain. Why? |
| 00:52:39 |
No reason. Do you think he's... cute? |
| 00:52:43 |
Well, I suppose in that not-a-brain-dead-surfer kind of way. |
| 00:52:47 |
Yeah... |
| 00:52:48 |
I know you may find this hard to believe, but looks aren't everything. |
| 00:52:52 |
Really? |
| 00:52:52 |
See, there's this thing called personality? There's also liking the same things, |
| 00:52:57 |
having a similar sense of humor, being able to have five-minute conversations |
| 00:53:01 |
without boring the living hell out of each other... |
| 00:53:03 |
Like you and Tom. |
| 00:53:04 |
Did I mention Tom? |
| 00:53:05 |
Well, who else would you be talking about? You're obviously very compatible. |
| 00:53:09 |
How would you know? |
| 00:53:10 |
Daria, up until recently dating has been my major field of study! |
| 00:53:15 |
Well, you've never met his family. |
| 00:53:16 |
You can't judge someone by their family. I mean what if people judged me by... blech! |
| 00:53:22 |
Got to go. |
| 00:53:24 |
That's it. Must... contact... intelligent... life. |
| 00:53:32 |
Hey. Call. |
| 00:53:35 |
Hello? |
| 00:53:36 |
Hope you don't mind that I called. |
| 00:53:37 |
Daria! |
| 00:53:38 |
How are things going? |
| 00:53:39 |
Fine, fine, fine. Couldn't be better. |
| 00:53:42 |
Sucks, huh? |
| 00:53:43 |
Only in a mind-numbingly pretentious kind of way. |
| 00:53:46 |
Do you think, um, a familiar face might cheer you up? |
| 00:53:49 |
What do you mean? Like floating in space over the bed, saying my name over and |
| 00:53:53 |
over again in a creepy voice? |
| 00:53:55 |
Jane... |
| 00:53:55 |
Look, I don't really feel like any visitors right now. It's nothing personal. |
| 00:53:59 |
Wait... |
| 00:54:00 |
I don't want to talk about it, okay? Nothing you could say can change that. |
| 00:54:05 |
I'll pay you. |
| 00:54:07 |
Trent was going to drop by on his way to a gig. Maybe you can hitch a ride. They |
| 00:54:11 |
can always use an extra person to push. |
| 00:54:18 |
Now, this is called mouth-to-mouth regurgitation. Ready, babe? |
| 00:54:21 |
Ready! |
| 00:54:23 |
Did you see how I pinched Britt's nose to, like keep the air from getting out? I |
| 00:54:27 |
could just stick my fingers up there, but who knows what... |
| 00:54:30 |
Oh, Kevvy! |
| 00:54:35 |
Peep show's over! Everyone scram! Hey, Romeo and Juliet... |
| 00:54:40 |
Ow! |
| 00:54:42 |
You're fired! |
| 00:54:45 |
Here you go. |
| 00:54:46 |
It's about time! |
| 00:54:47 |
I want a fudgy pop! |
| 00:54:48 |
Hey, I was here first! |
| 00:54:49 |
Shut up, you jerk! |
| 00:54:50 |
This is dripping! |
| 00:54:52 |
What are you doing here? |
| 00:54:53 |
Oh, Mack, something terrible happened! |
| 00:54:56 |
It's okay. The sun isn't really gone. It's just hiding behind the clouds. |
| 00:55:00 |
No! We got fired! |
| 00:55:08 |
Trent... does it ever bother you that the speedometer is stuck at ten miles per hour? |
| 00:55:13 |
Hmm... ten. That reminds me. Time for dinner. |
| 00:55:18 |
Just for the record, the police generally don't like it when you drive on the |
| 00:55:21 |
wrong side of the road. |
| 00:55:23 |
Tell me about it. |
| 00:55:25 |
No, thanks. Um... how's Jane been doing? |
| 00:55:28 |
Oh. Okay. |
| 00:55:30 |
I haven't talked to her much this summer. |
| 00:55:32 |
Well, you know. The Tom thing. |
| 00:55:34 |
Look, we... |
| 00:55:36 |
Hey, Janey knows you guys didn't mean to hurt her. She'll come around. Trust me. |
| 00:55:41 |
Yeah. Thanks, Trent. |
| 00:55:46 |
"Betrayal, yeah, a stab in the back. Betrayal, yeah, I'm stretched on the rack. |
| 00:55:52 |
Betrayal, yeah, thrown out of the... thrown out of the... " |
| 00:55:57 |
Pack? |
| 00:55:58 |
"Thrown out of the pack. Betrayal... betrayal, yeah. Betrayal... betrayal... |
| 00:56:07 |
betrayal, yeah... " |
| 00:56:09 |
... and that's how Randolph Hearst's yellow journalism helped get the U.S. into |
| 00:56:12 |
the American-Spanish War. |
| 00:56:14 |
Close enou... |
| 00:56:15 |
The Spanish-American War. |
| 00:56:16 |
You know, I had my doubts at first... serious doubts. But you've come a long |
| 00:56:20 |
way, Quinn. You should be very proud of yourself. |
| 00:56:22 |
Thanks. Um, are you proud of me? |
| 00:56:25 |
Of course. And I want you to drop me a line at school and let me know how you're |
| 00:56:29 |
doing in class. |
| 00:56:30 |
David? |
| 00:56:31 |
Yes? |
| 00:56:33 |
Um... I like you. |
| 00:56:35 |
I like you, too. |
| 00:56:36 |
No, I mean I "like" like you. |
| 00:56:38 |
Oh. Look... |
| 00:56:39 |
I mean, I never thought I could really "like" like someone who wasn't, you know, |
| 00:56:43 |
really cute -- not that you're uncute -- but you know what I mean. You don't try |
| 00:56:46 |
to be cute. Not that I would ever try to make you try to be cute. |
| 00:56:50 |
Right. |
| 00:56:51 |
Well? We can probably get in at least two dates before you go off to college. |
| 00:56:56 |
Look, Quinn, it's very flattering, and you're a really nice kid, but you're not |
| 00:57:00 |
my type. |
| 00:57:01 |
But I already told you! I don't care what you look like. |
| 00:57:04 |
Quinn, look, when I go out, it has to be with someone who has -- how can I put |
| 00:57:09 |
this? -- a certain amount of depth. |
| 00:57:11 |
But I know stuff now! |
| 00:57:13 |
Yes, but why did you want to know stuff? So you'd be able to get into a party |
| 00:57:17 |
school. Talk about a lack of self-esteem. |
| 00:57:19 |
I have tons of self-esteem! I esteem myself more than anybody! |
| 00:57:24 |
When it comes to appearance, but not in any areas that count. Look at the losers |
| 00:57:28 |
you hang out with. No chance of feeling stupid around them. |
| 00:57:32 |
Losers? But the whole reason I even thought of getting tutored was I knew |
| 00:57:36 |
I could do better on the P-STATs than them. |
| 00:57:39 |
Than they. And I'm glad to hear that. It means you're starting to understand |
| 00:57:42 |
your potential. |
| 00:57:43 |
So... ? |
| 00:57:45 |
Quinn, you and I are in two different places, way too far apart to go out. You'd |
| 00:57:49 |
hate it, believe me. But it's a real big compliment. Keep studying and good luck. |
| 00:57:54 |
Yeah... good luck. |
| 00:57:58 |
"Betrayal, yeah, you ruined my life. Betrayal, yeah, you're twisting the |
| 00:58:04 |
knife... " |
| 00:58:04 |
Trent! |
| 00:58:05 |
Huh? |
| 00:58:06 |
That's not helping. |
| 00:58:07 |
Oh. Sorry. Um, you know how it is. Inspiration. |
| 00:58:15 |
We'd better not disturb them. You got to wake Jesse up just right or he gets all disoriented. |
| 00:58:21 |
How can you tell? |
| 00:58:25 |
You're funny, Daria. |
| 00:58:28 |
Anyway, don't go crazy over this Tom stuff. Even Janey said you make a good couple. |
| 00:58:33 |
You mean made. We're not going out anymore. |
| 00:58:36 |
Really? Why? |
| 00:58:38 |
A lot of stuff. Mainly I got weirded out by his family. |
| 00:58:41 |
But you weren't dating them. |
| 00:58:46 |
Someday the curators will look back on these and say they're from my "art |
| 00:58:49 |
colonies suck" period. |
| 00:58:50 |
Curators? |
| 00:58:51 |
Criminologists? |
| 00:58:52 |
You know, when it comes to art, you and Link have a lot in common. I'd introduce |
| 00:58:56 |
you, if he didn't loathe every fiber of my being. |
| 00:58:58 |
This Link situation really bothers you, huh? |
| 00:59:01 |
Serves me right for breaking my cardinal rule and trying to reach out to a lost soul. |
| 00:59:05 |
Any kid who looks to you for nurturing is more than just lost. |
| 00:59:09 |
Gee, thanks. |
| 00:59:10 |
Hey, I call 'em like I see 'em. |
| 00:59:17 |
This soup bites! |
| 00:59:18 |
Then don't have a fourth bowl. |
| 00:59:21 |
Mack! I'm going to take five. |
| 00:59:24 |
These are for you. |
| 00:59:25 |
Aw... that's sweet. I've missed you so much. |
| 00:59:27 |
Wow. I got to buy you flowers more often. Anyway, I got them to celebrate. |
| 00:59:32 |
I quit my job yesterday. |
| 00:59:33 |
Oh, Mack... summer's not even over. And it was such a piece of cake. |
| 00:59:37 |
Piece of cake? Working in a dirty, cramped truck all day for minimum wage? What |
| 00:59:41 |
would you know about it with your glamour jobs and your golf lessons? |
| 00:59:43 |
What's the matter with you? I'm on your side, remember? |
| 00:59:48 |
I'm sorry. It's just... wearing that white suit, serving those little brats... |
| 00:59:51 |
I felt like some kind of house slave in Gone With the Wind. It's just not the way |
| 00:59:55 |
I thought the summer would go. |
| 00:59:56 |
Hey, you're no house slave. You owed your father some money. You were doing the |
| 00:59:59 |
stand-up thing and trying to pay him back. No big deal, you'll find another way. |
| 01:00:04 |
I paid him back a week ago. |
| 01:00:05 |
Oh! So how come you didn't quit then? |
| 01:00:08 |
I wanted to make a little more money so I could take you out for dinner at Chez Pierre. |
| 01:00:11 |
Oh, Mack, that place is so expensive. |
| 01:00:14 |
I can afford it... for once. |
| 01:00:16 |
I don't need Chez Pierre when I have a guy like you. Wait a minute. Who's |
| 01:00:20 |
driving the truck? |
| 01:00:22 |
That'll be... $1.60. Babe, how much change do I give back? |
| 01:00:26 |
Um, let's see, $1.60 minus five is $4.40. |
| 01:00:30 |
But I gave you a five. |
| 01:00:32 |
Right. $5.40! |
| 01:00:34 |
I'll have a sno-cone and a Popsicle. |
| 01:00:36 |
Let's see, that's a ten, so I owe you... |
| 01:00:39 |
$12.20. |
| 01:00:40 |
Right! |
| 01:00:50 |
The guys here are a lot better-looking in person than on their wanted posters. |
| 01:00:53 |
Now I understand why people go to the bathroom in groups. |
| 01:00:56 |
Don't worry... I promise not to meet a new boyfriend and leave you alone between |
| 01:01:00 |
sets. I've learned my lesson. |
| 01:01:02 |
Okay... speaking of Tom, I guess you heard we broke up. |
| 01:01:07 |
I don't read the papers, remember? |
| 01:01:09 |
I thought Trent might have said something. |
| 01:01:10 |
Nope. |
| 01:01:11 |
Questions, comments? |
| 01:01:13 |
Please tell me you're not trying to get my sympathy after blowing me off for my |
| 01:01:16 |
now ex-boyfriend. |
| 01:01:18 |
You mean he blew you off for me. Although if you recall, that's not the way it happened. |
| 01:01:22 |
No, I meant you blew me off for him. You wanted to go out with him regardless of |
| 01:01:27 |
what it did to our friendship. |
| 01:01:28 |
Hey! You stopped talking to me, remember? After you broke up with him and said |
| 01:01:33 |
you didn't care if I dated him. |
| 01:01:34 |
And you believed me? |
| 01:01:36 |
I'm confused. What are we fighting about here? |
| 01:01:38 |
We're fighting about you, Daria Morgendorffer, being dumb enough to think a |
| 01:01:42 |
boyfriend is worth screwing up a really good friendship for. |
| 01:01:46 |
A really important friendship. |
| 01:01:49 |
I'm sorry if I did that. Um, I really missed you this summer. |
| 01:01:54 |
Well, I really missed you, too. Only don't ask me to sleep over. |
| 01:01:58 |
Huh? |
| 01:01:59 |
Nothing. Oh, hey, Trent? I meant to tell you. You guys have a gig tonight. |
| 01:02:02 |
You better start soon or you'll miss your next break. |
| 01:02:05 |
Unless you take your next break now. |
| 01:02:06 |
In which case you better take it on stage. They'll never think of looking for |
| 01:02:10 |
you there. |
| 01:02:10 |
And while you're up there, maybe you could play something. Oh, wait, that's what |
| 01:02:13 |
they're paying you for. Never mind. |
| 01:02:15 |
You guys are weird. |
| 01:02:18 |
So what'd you miss most about me? It was my joie de vivre, wasn't it? |
| 01:02:21 |
If you really want to know, it was your damn aura. |
| 01:02:25 |
Wow, you did spend the summer with Mr. O'Neill. |
| 01:02:27 |
I mean your aura of confidence. I drifted through summer in a perpetual identity |
| 01:02:31 |
crisis, questioning everything I said and did. |
| 01:02:34 |
That's funny, 'cause I... |
| 01:02:35 |
And I kept thinking about you, up here doing your paintings, making your jokes, |
| 01:02:39 |
being Jane Lane. |
| 01:02:40 |
Being Jane Lane's what I do best. |
| 01:02:42 |
Precisely. You know exactly who you are, and nobody's ever going to con you into |
| 01:02:47 |
thinking you don't. I wish I'd had you around just as a role model. |
| 01:02:51 |
You know, you're absolutely right about me. |
| 01:02:53 |
Gee, shall I attempt further heights of ego inflation? |
| 01:02:57 |
Please do. |
| 01:02:59 |
Hey. We're Mystik Spiral. And this one's for Daria and Jane. |
| 01:03:03 |
I hope it's not "You Are So Beautiful." |
| 01:03:06 |
Oh, please make it "Close to You." |
| 01:03:08 |
"When the aliens come, when the death rays hum, when the bummers bum, we'll |
| 01:03:14 |
still be freakin' friends! When the whip comes down, when they nuke the town, |
| 01:03:20 |
when dead clowns can't clown, we'll still be freakin' friends! Freakin' friends! |
| 01:03:26 |
Freakin' friends! Till we come to bad ends, we're freakin' friends! Freakin' |
| 01:03:30 |
friends! Freakin' friends! Till we come to bad ends, we're freakin' friends! |
| 01:03:34 |
Freakin' friends! Freakin' friends... " |
| 01:03:38 |
I just couldn't get past all that upper-crustiness. I felt like the poor cousin |
| 01:03:42 |
in a Henry James novel. You know, someone to be tolerated until she gets run |
| 01:03:46 |
over by a horse and buggy. |
| 01:03:48 |
Yeah, the Sloanes definitely come from the land of the Muffys. But it's not like |
| 01:03:52 |
they're jerks or anything. I just ignored the money and concentrated on the |
| 01:03:55 |
incredibly well-stocked refrigerator. |
| 01:03:58 |
Yeah. Look, why don't you just come back with us? |
| 01:04:01 |
I don't know. Some kind of dumb-ass notion about seeing this through, I guess. |
| 01:04:05 |
Anyway, it's just another two weeks and then we'll be back at school! Wait... |
| 01:04:09 |
what's my point? |
| 01:04:10 |
That life sucks no matter what, so don't be fooled by location changes. |
| 01:04:14 |
You really should write fortune cookies. |
| 01:04:15 |
Call me when you get back. |
| 01:04:16 |
All right, freakin' friend. Um, I don't believe I'm about to say this, but... |
| 01:04:21 |
you should give Tom another shot. He's not a bad guy. And you could use the recreation. |
| 01:04:27 |
Um, what about the whole you-stabbed-me-in-the-back-how-could-you thing? |
| 01:04:31 |
I think I actually am over that. As opposed to when I said I was over it but was |
| 01:04:36 |
really still under it. |
| 01:04:37 |
Yeah, right. |
| 01:04:37 |
Seriously. Give it some thought on the way back. |
| 01:04:40 |
I don't think so. |
| 01:04:41 |
Or converse with the band. The choice is yours. |
| 01:04:51 |
No, those sandals don't make your toes look fat. |
| 01:04:53 |
So David was right. I am superficial. |
| 01:04:56 |
At least you know your strengths. |
| 01:05:00 |
He really called you that? |
| 01:05:01 |
He said he only dates girls with "depth." |
| 01:05:04 |
How did it even come up? |
| 01:05:07 |
Oh, boy. You asked him out? |
| 01:05:11 |
Quinn, you're, um, not as superficial as you act. I'm sure you just feel obliged |
| 01:05:17 |
to stress the moronic aspects of your personality so you'll fit in better with |
| 01:05:21 |
the fashion drones, like a mask you wear 'cause you think they wouldn't like the |
| 01:05:25 |
real you. |
| 01:05:26 |
You mean sort of the way you keep people away by being really unfriendly and stuff? |
| 01:05:30 |
Hey, we're talking about you here. You really liked that guy, huh? Well, he |
| 01:05:36 |
certainly wasn't what we intellectuals call a totally buff hottie, so if you saw |
| 01:05:41 |
past his looks, you can't be completely shallow. |
| 01:05:44 |
Thanks, Daria. Damn it, I even told him I liked him! I never do that! |
| 01:05:49 |
Quinn... sometimes you reach out to someone and all you get back is a slap in |
| 01:05:53 |
the face. |
| 01:05:54 |
Then why even bother? |
| 01:05:58 |
I guess because, um, you got to give people a chance. Otherwise, there's no |
| 01:06:02 |
point to the whole being-human routine. |
| 01:06:05 |
Why? David didn't give me a chance! |
| 01:06:07 |
Sure he did. Wasn't he going to quit before you begged him not to? |
| 01:06:11 |
Yeah. So? |
| 01:06:12 |
So you learned a whole bunch of stuff and found out you don't have to be a dummy |
| 01:06:16 |
if you don't want to... because he gave you a chance. |
| 01:06:19 |
Quinn, I... |
| 01:06:20 |
Okay, thanks for lending this to me. A Journal of the Plague Year. Sounds fun! |
| 01:06:27 |
"Give people a chance." Sounds like good advice. |
| 01:06:30 |
That crap? |
| 01:06:31 |
Oh, Daria. Here, this came for you... |
| 01:06:36 |
... and I guess I'll go see how Quinn is doing. |
| 01:06:50 |
Agh! This heat is making my lip gloss all runny. |
| 01:06:53 |
Tell me about it. It's so hot we can't even wear our new fall clothes. |
| 01:06:57 |
They should really start school in November. |
| 01:06:59 |
I know... |
| 01:07:01 |
Welcome back, students, and remember, the school nurse is in and ready to take |
| 01:07:04 |
your voluntary urine sample. Show your Lawndale High spirit with the gift of urine! |
| 01:07:10 |
Eww... ! |
| 01:07:12 |
All right, which of you promising young people would like to share your |
| 01:07:17 |
definition of Manifest Destiny? |
| 01:07:24 |
Ms. Morgendorffer? Did you want something? |
| 01:07:26 |
"Manifest Destiny" was a phrase politicians used to say that God wanted the U.S. |
| 01:07:30 |
to keep expanding west all the way to the Pacific ocean. Because why bother |
| 01:07:35 |
owning the country if Hollywood wasn't included? |
| 01:07:38 |
Ahh, Quinn, that's very good! Thank you for making my day rewarding. |
| 01:07:47 |
Gee, Quinn... I hope that little foray of yours into Geekland just now is the |
| 01:07:52 |
result of heat exhaustion, and not an unpleasant side effect of all that |
| 01:07:56 |
tutoring. I mean, you're not turning into a brain, are you? |
| 01:08:00 |
Sandi, just because someone can answer a simple question doesn't mean they're a pedagogue. |
| 01:08:08 |
So, I guess I got through to Link after all, and all it cost me was a generous |
| 01:08:12 |
period of self-doubt followed by a bracing stint of self-hatred. |
| 01:08:16 |
See? Not every human is a manipulative, opportunistic letch, or at least that's |
| 01:08:21 |
what I'm told. |
| 01:08:21 |
You didn't make any friends at that art colony, did you? |
| 01:08:24 |
Nope. Well, except this one girl, until she got fresh. |
| 01:08:29 |
You're not kidding. |
| 01:08:30 |
As much as I'd like to gain your sour perspective on the whole sordid incident, |
| 01:08:33 |
it's gonna have to wait. I think someone's looking for you. |
| 01:08:37 |
Whoa! Nice car. Where's Jeeves? |
| 01:08:40 |
I killed him for his uniform. How are you doing? |
| 01:08:42 |
I'm okay. She's pretty okay, too. |
| 01:08:45 |
Yeah, I know that. Hey, Daria. |
| 01:08:47 |
Hey. |
| 01:08:47 |
Want to go for a ride? |
| 01:08:49 |
Actually, we were just... |
| 01:08:50 |
... saying good-bye. I'll call you later. |
| 01:08:59 |
Thanks for the lift. Um, I guess I should be going. |
| 01:09:02 |
Just hear me out. Okay? |
| 01:09:04 |
Sure. |
| 01:09:04 |
There's nothing I can do about the club, my family, the whole thing. And yes, |
| 01:09:09 |
I can see where all of that could make you uncomfortable. |
| 01:09:11 |
Thank you. |
| 01:09:12 |
But would you also agree that maybe I was right when I said this dating stuff is |
| 01:09:17 |
new to you, and you're afraid of getting hurt, and maybe you were looking for an |
| 01:09:21 |
out before you got too pulled in? |
| 01:09:24 |
Daria? |
| 01:09:26 |
Maybe some of that's true. |
| 01:09:27 |
Well, here's the deal. I want to start seeing you again. We can take it slow, |
| 01:09:31 |
but you've got to at least try to trust me. I really like you, Daria, but |
| 01:09:35 |
I don't want to waste any more time if you're not going to give it a chance. |
| 01:09:40 |
Please? |
| 01:09:42 |
Daria... ? |
| 01:09:44 |
I want to try again, too. |
| 01:09:46 |
Don't say any more. I hate it when you get all mushy. |
| 01:09:49 |
Yeah, I don't like it, either. Okay, then, I'm glad. See ya. |
| 01:10:01 |
Oh, Jakey, do you realize what a momentous summer our girls have had? |
| 01:10:06 |
Quinn learned she's smarter than she thought, and Daria has her first boyfriend. |
| 01:10:11 |
It's summer already? |
| 01:10:12 |
Jake... |
| 01:10:16 |
You made a joke, didn't you? |
| 01:10:18 |
Yep! Old Jake was joking! |
| 01:10:20 |
I like a man with a sense of humor. |
| 01:10:23 |
Why'd the chicken cross the road? |
| 01:10:25 |
I don't know. |
| 01:10:26 |
Well, you're about to find out! |
| 01:10:29 |
Written by Glenn Eichler and Peggy Nicoll |
| 01:10:32 |
Synchro by Janez |
