Dark Ride
|
00:00:13 |
(creaking) |
00:00:23 |
(creaking continues) |
00:01:33 |
Looks like it's closed. |
00:01:36 |
Don't be such a wimp. |
00:01:45 |
(maniacal laughter) |
00:01:57 |
I told you, Colleen, |
00:01:59 |
you could have just |
00:02:01 |
Will you just leave me |
00:02:03 |
- (carnival music playing) |
00:02:04 |
Jerk. |
00:02:06 |
Come on already. |
00:02:08 |
(laughter continues) |
00:02:24 |
Two tickets, please. |
00:02:30 |
Round trip or one way? |
00:02:33 |
(laughs) |
00:02:38 |
Go on, get on. |
00:02:50 |
(gears hiss) |
00:03:01 |
- (banging) |
00:03:09 |
(maniacal laughter) |
00:03:20 |
You see? It's all fake, |
00:03:23 |
Don't you feel |
00:03:28 |
(shrieks, laughs) |
00:03:32 |
Ooh-hh... |
00:03:43 |
(bubbling) |
00:03:48 |
(screams) |
00:04:00 |
Look at that devil face. |
00:04:02 |
(laughs) |
00:04:05 |
You're not looking. |
00:04:07 |
Mmm, |
00:04:12 |
- (yells) |
00:04:14 |
Oh, poor baby. |
00:04:19 |
- (roars) |
00:04:22 |
- (gasps) |
00:04:26 |
Whoa, look at that. |
00:04:29 |
(player piano playing) |
00:04:31 |
(gunfire) |
00:04:35 |
Lmagine if this whole ride |
00:04:38 |
We would have to find |
00:04:40 |
- (animal howls) |
00:04:42 |
Look at that fire, |
00:04:44 |
That's awesome! |
00:04:46 |
You're not looking. |
00:04:50 |
You are such a little girl, Colleen. |
00:04:53 |
I'm gonna start calling |
00:04:55 |
I knew I should have left you home, |
00:04:58 |
I'm gonna make you get out |
00:05:05 |
You know what? |
00:05:06 |
(girls screaming) |
00:05:08 |
(maniacal laughter) |
00:05:10 |
Sam! |
00:05:11 |
(maniacal laughter continues) |
00:05:15 |
All right, you stupid... |
00:05:17 |
ride. |
00:05:19 |
(crying) |
00:05:27 |
Colleen: Sam! |
00:06:09 |
(Colleen screams) |
00:06:19 |
(creaking) |
00:08:51 |
(rock music playing) |
00:09:10 |
? She's lying |
00:09:15 |
Cathy, am I even gonna |
00:09:17 |
I don't think so, Liz. Oh, unless |
00:09:20 |
- for "Girls Gone Stupid." |
00:09:23 |
You know you're going to. |
00:09:25 |
Can you tell me again |
00:09:27 |
and not someplace with palm trees |
00:09:31 |
Look at it like this: |
00:09:33 |
by enduring this trip |
00:09:35 |
and I do mean "endure"... |
00:09:37 |
will more than make up |
00:09:39 |
and anything else |
00:09:41 |
Think of it as business, |
00:09:44 |
I'm glad you suggested |
00:09:47 |
It's retro. |
00:09:48 |
It's like something |
00:09:50 |
Yeah, well, I was hoping |
00:09:53 |
- skewed younger than that. |
00:09:56 |
- you freak show. |
00:09:58 |
Anyway, spring break's become |
00:10:01 |
for multinational consumer product |
00:10:04 |
like deodorant |
00:10:07 |
Fuck! "Final Cut," dude. |
00:10:10 |
What are you doing |
00:10:12 |
You gave it to me |
00:10:14 |
- Oh. |
00:10:17 |
and put one |
00:10:19 |
We're going to spring break, |
00:10:20 |
- What is this? |
00:10:23 |
And you have to use it |
00:10:26 |
You know about her? |
00:10:31 |
You know that Jim's |
00:10:34 |
Yeah, I know that. |
00:10:35 |
Are you okay with that, |
00:10:39 |
What happened was |
00:10:40 |
and I hooked up with someone |
00:10:42 |
- It happened once, come on. |
00:10:45 |
- Once. |
00:10:47 |
It's like the measles. |
00:10:49 |
- Okay okay. |
00:10:54 |
You do know how I get |
00:10:57 |
I could basically probably hook up |
00:11:00 |
- The whole school knows how you get. |
00:11:03 |
Do you realize that |
00:11:06 |
Michael Cimino almost bankrupted |
00:11:09 |
It's just such an abuse |
00:11:11 |
Why don't you take it down a notch |
00:11:14 |
We're trying |
00:11:16 |
What's the deal |
00:11:18 |
I don't know. My whole situation |
00:11:21 |
I mean, all this together, |
00:11:24 |
I'm fucking dizzy |
00:11:25 |
And then the shit |
00:11:28 |
- So what did you tell him? |
00:11:32 |
Do you still love him? |
00:11:34 |
I don't know. |
00:11:35 |
You know, I'm 19 years old. |
00:11:38 |
I highly doubt that quickies |
00:11:41 |
and a romantic |
00:11:43 |
by a frat keg qualify. |
00:11:45 |
I look at it like this... |
00:11:48 |
if I can get |
00:11:50 |
then that's |
00:11:52 |
If I can't keep |
00:11:54 |
then, well, |
00:11:57 |
Oh, so you're taking |
00:12:02 |
- Do you still love her? |
00:12:04 |
If we don't fuck during vacation, |
00:12:07 |
If she can't keep her hands off me, |
00:12:09 |
So you're taking |
00:12:12 |
You can say that. |
00:12:14 |
- Oh, God. |
00:12:17 |
Both: Hi. |
00:12:19 |
Oh, God, there they are. |
00:12:21 |
Wait a minute. Why would you want them |
00:12:24 |
if you don't think |
00:12:26 |
Gas costs? |
00:12:28 |
Doesn't the expression "bringing sand |
00:12:31 |
I'm not too worried |
00:12:33 |
Although I gotta admit it, it's kind |
00:12:37 |
What, you always wanted |
00:12:40 |
Oh. |
00:12:42 |
- Steve: Hey. |
00:12:44 |
Hello. |
00:12:46 |
- How are you doing? |
00:12:49 |
Okay, gang, so we all set |
00:12:53 |
Big Daddy's gotta go. |
00:12:55 |
Well, when's Big Daddy |
00:12:58 |
The road's calling, |
00:13:13 |
Bye. See ya. |
00:13:15 |
What up, man? |
00:13:17 |
- Hey. |
00:13:19 |
Hey. |
00:13:23 |
Elizabeth, |
00:13:25 |
it's been a long time. |
00:13:27 |
Time was the only long |
00:13:31 |
Big Daddy. |
00:13:33 |
Ow! |
00:13:42 |
You got AAA |
00:13:44 |
Seriously, |
00:13:45 |
you guys, don't talk shit... |
00:13:48 |
About my baby. |
00:13:51 |
The '70s called. |
00:13:53 |
That is so funny. |
00:13:56 |
He's like |
00:13:58 |
Bill, thanks |
00:14:00 |
Should be a lot of fun. |
00:14:01 |
Yeah, no, I'm just happy |
00:14:04 |
Boy's gonna get him |
00:14:06 |
- My boy's gonna get him some tail. |
00:14:07 |
Come on, stop it! |
00:14:14 |
Hello, |
00:14:17 |
John Schlesinger, |
00:14:19 |
Jon Voigt, Joe Buck. |
00:14:22 |
Guys, it's a classic. |
00:14:24 |
It's the first and only |
00:14:26 |
for Best Picture. |
00:14:30 |
Who are you people? |
00:14:33 |
- Get in. |
00:14:36 |
I love the shag. |
00:14:36 |
I love the shag. |
00:14:38 |
All right, let's hit the road, kids. |
00:14:43 |
? Making change? |
00:14:45 |
? In factions...? |
00:14:53 |
? Yeah, the kids? |
00:14:54 |
? Are all right...? |
00:15:02 |
? It's a scene |
00:15:15 |
? If the best is really |
00:15:18 |
? We'd all stay? |
00:15:20 |
? Longer? |
00:15:23 |
? And all the seasons |
00:15:25 |
? Too quickly through? |
00:15:28 |
? Have passed...? |
00:15:47 |
I guess |
00:15:50 |
Sure this place is open? |
00:15:52 |
Well, all the lights |
00:15:57 |
Steve: Maybe the guy's |
00:16:00 |
Jim: |
00:16:02 |
No, come on, guys. |
00:16:05 |
Steve: Just go check |
00:16:17 |
Bill: Hello. |
00:16:24 |
Hello. |
00:16:29 |
(upbeat piano music playing) |
00:16:35 |
Hi. How are you doing? |
00:16:48 |
'78, that's a good year. |
00:16:52 |
"Deer Hunter" |
00:16:57 |
Guess you didn't happen |
00:17:00 |
Yeah, it had this incredible |
00:17:03 |
(yells in Vietnamese) |
00:17:05 |
Nicky! Nicky! |
00:17:11 |
Know of any good places |
00:17:15 |
Okay, |
00:17:33 |
The old guy in the back, |
00:17:36 |
You guys figure it out. |
00:17:42 |
Dude, your boy |
00:17:44 |
- the gas-station attendant. |
00:17:48 |
(high-pitched) |
00:17:52 |
Yo. |
00:17:56 |
- Just drop some cash and let's jet. |
00:17:59 |
- Not happening. |
00:18:02 |
"No matter how much |
00:18:04 |
the last drop ends up |
00:18:06 |
Poetic but true. |
00:18:13 |
(whistle call) |
00:18:20 |
It's the vanishing man. |
00:18:23 |
(laughs) |
00:18:27 |
- What? |
00:18:31 |
You think I have |
00:18:33 |
Okay, where'd this guy go? |
00:18:36 |
Who do I have to blow |
00:18:38 |
for some gas |
00:18:40 |
That'll be $16 even. Here's a coupon |
00:18:43 |
He mentioned he'd like |
00:18:45 |
Stuckey Ribs is the best |
00:18:47 |
This'll save you $2.50 |
00:18:50 |
Thank you. That's very |
00:18:52 |
Now about that blowjob... |
00:19:02 |
Jim tried to give |
00:19:04 |
- No, I didn't, asshole. |
00:19:06 |
You should have seen |
00:19:08 |
He was talking to us about coupons, |
00:19:12 |
Steve: |
00:19:14 |
- Liz, where's Bill? |
00:19:16 |
- I thought he was with you. |
00:19:19 |
Look at this. |
00:19:21 |
Liz: |
00:19:23 |
- (Cathy laughs) Another STD? |
00:19:26 |
"Bleedings from Asbury Park, |
00:19:28 |
the Jersey shore's infamous |
00:19:31 |
25 of the most terrifying rooms |
00:19:33 |
the Dark Ride celebrates |
00:19:35 |
its grand reopening |
00:19:38 |
Let me see that, dude. |
00:19:41 |
- I heard about it. |
00:19:42 |
- And that makes you cool how? |
00:19:45 |
Very lame. |
00:19:47 |
There's things like this |
00:19:49 |
Yeah, and Ferris wheels. |
00:19:51 |
Big scary Ferris wheels. |
00:19:54 |
(both yell) |
00:19:55 |
Okay, wait. |
00:19:59 |
It's the horror attraction |
00:20:02 |
Yeah, it's like that |
00:20:04 |
from the '20s |
00:20:06 |
Didn't catch it. |
00:20:08 |
It's basically carts on tracks, |
00:20:11 |
I love those things. |
00:20:14 |
No, I read |
00:20:16 |
Something happened in there. |
00:20:18 |
The place had been shut down |
00:20:20 |
It's gotta be the first time |
00:20:22 |
Well, it must have been |
00:20:25 |
to shut the whole place down |
00:20:37 |
(lock buzzes) |
00:20:45 |
(chain clinking) |
00:21:11 |
(knocking) |
00:21:13 |
Anybody home? |
00:21:22 |
(door creaking) |
00:21:42 |
Strictly vegetarian, |
00:21:44 |
Why is this freak always |
00:21:47 |
I know your face is |
00:21:49 |
but you don't |
00:21:51 |
We're your friends, |
00:21:53 |
What's the matter? |
00:21:55 |
You don't fancy |
00:21:58 |
Your mattress too soft? |
00:22:00 |
No chocolate |
00:22:04 |
They've been keeping you |
00:22:06 |
for a long time now. |
00:22:08 |
I know you don't think |
00:22:11 |
Seems to me it's |
00:22:15 |
You hear me, freak? |
00:22:17 |
I think some good old |
00:22:19 |
might be just |
00:22:22 |
A little bit of iron |
00:22:25 |
Let's get out of here. |
00:22:28 |
Look at his ears. |
00:22:30 |
I think he's deaf. |
00:22:32 |
He don't give a shit |
00:22:36 |
What? I hear vegetarians |
00:22:38 |
I just wanna see |
00:22:41 |
I mean, |
00:22:43 |
There's nothing wrong with |
00:22:46 |
He's a zombie. |
00:22:48 |
Let's go and mess with the girls. |
00:22:51 |
What, you're in a rush now? |
00:22:54 |
Give me that meat. |
00:22:59 |
Oh, yeah. |
00:23:03 |
Dinnertime, dickhead. |
00:23:10 |
What's the matter? |
00:23:12 |
A little bit too rare? |
00:23:13 |
You want me to send it |
00:23:15 |
so he can cook it up |
00:23:19 |
- What's the matter? |
00:23:22 |
This is a bust. |
00:23:23 |
You're wasting a perfectly |
00:23:28 |
(growls) |
00:23:31 |
What was that? |
00:23:33 |
Well, maybe the poor baby's |
00:23:37 |
He could be allergic. |
00:23:40 |
You're not allergic, |
00:23:43 |
Eat it! |
00:23:47 |
This is choice stuff. |
00:23:48 |
- Put some hair on your... |
00:23:50 |
(growling) |
00:24:07 |
Just... |
00:24:14 |
(screams) |
00:24:42 |
(whimpering) |
00:24:57 |
(screaming) |
00:25:42 |
Hey, have any of you guys actually |
00:25:45 |
Steve: I went to something like this |
00:25:48 |
It scared the crap out |
00:25:49 |
I had nightmares |
00:25:51 |
- You always have nightmares. |
00:25:55 |
You guys are not gonna |
00:25:58 |
We pass by the joint |
00:26:01 |
Hey, did someone |
00:26:02 |
That's too bad. |
00:26:05 |
Oh, bullshit, Liz. A beggar says "boo," |
00:26:09 |
You never would have gone in the place. |
00:26:11 |
'cause the option's |
00:26:13 |
It's kiddie shit. |
00:26:15 |
I bet cash money you would never even |
00:26:18 |
You're such a fucking cheating asshole, |
00:26:21 |
You gotta be the toughest, |
00:26:24 |
in the fucking room, |
00:26:26 |
- Guys, come on, chill out. |
00:26:29 |
How's that? |
00:26:31 |
Anybody feel like saving |
00:26:34 |
No way! |
00:26:35 |
Why not way? |
00:26:37 |
Come on, let's do it. |
00:26:39 |
I mean, we can do |
00:26:41 |
Yeah. Yeah, |
00:26:43 |
All I ever read about is |
00:26:47 |
how we do nothing, |
00:26:50 |
So let's do something. |
00:26:52 |
I'm in. |
00:26:54 |
- Try to keep me away. |
00:26:56 |
Fuck the motel, guys. |
00:26:59 |
This is something we're gonna be |
00:27:02 |
Bill: I think we should |
00:27:04 |
If it's cool, we'll go in. |
00:27:08 |
Steve: |
00:27:12 |
Bill: Look, guys, if we stay |
00:27:14 |
we increase our funding |
00:27:16 |
if you catch my drift. |
00:27:42 |
Good God. |
00:27:45 |
- Holy shit. |
00:27:51 |
(yawning) |
00:27:53 |
- That would depend. |
00:27:56 |
On whether Jim |
00:27:58 |
- Do not stop this van. |
00:28:02 |
This is almost as good as the old man |
00:28:05 |
I'll bet she's either |
00:28:08 |
Well, what is she doing |
00:28:10 |
She's a homeless, |
00:28:12 |
Where's she gonna be, |
00:28:14 |
How do we know she is alone? |
00:28:16 |
behind her 20 feet |
00:28:19 |
- Maybe her car broke down. |
00:28:22 |
I don't see a car. |
00:28:23 |
You know, guys, I saw this one |
00:28:26 |
Cathy: Shh! |
00:28:28 |
I feel obliged to pick up |
00:28:32 |
Call it my civic duty. |
00:28:34 |
Call it |
00:28:42 |
Hello. Hi. |
00:28:45 |
- Hop in. All right. |
00:28:50 |
- Sweet. |
00:28:53 |
All right. |
00:28:55 |
- How are you doing? |
00:28:57 |
- I'm Jim. |
00:28:59 |
"J"s! |
00:29:02 |
- That's right |
00:29:03 |
- Where are you headed? |
00:29:06 |
Jacksonville. |
00:29:09 |
Did your car break down? |
00:29:11 |
I don't really believe |
00:29:14 |
How ironic. Cathy here |
00:29:18 |
I totally believe |
00:29:20 |
Safety first. |
00:29:22 |
This from a girl who thumbs her way |
00:29:24 |
accepting rides |
00:29:26 |
Cathy: Bill, can I borrow |
00:29:29 |
Yeah yeah, |
00:29:32 |
Jen: |
00:29:35 |
that people |
00:29:37 |
However, this one time |
00:29:40 |
man, I just love |
00:29:43 |
so this guy, anyway, |
00:29:46 |
driving this really |
00:29:49 |
So, chitchat chitchat. |
00:29:51 |
He was a doctor or a banker, |
00:29:53 |
So he asks me |
00:29:57 |
And don't ask me |
00:29:59 |
but we get |
00:30:00 |
Now I don't know a lot |
00:30:03 |
music is the one thing |
00:30:05 |
that I am extremely |
00:30:08 |
I just get it, get it? |
00:30:10 |
So this yuppie dickhead |
00:30:13 |
starts telling me |
00:30:16 |
and how back in the day... |
00:30:18 |
how ADD kids are nowadays, |
00:30:21 |
You know, |
00:30:23 |
Music transcends time |
00:30:26 |
Man, it's like a whole |
00:30:29 |
between... |
00:30:31 |
It's a like a whole |
00:30:34 |
between life, death, |
00:30:37 |
malls, pets, |
00:30:40 |
So Mr. 2.4 Kids, |
00:30:43 |
he tries to kiss me! |
00:30:45 |
He actually has his |
00:30:49 |
all over me! |
00:30:53 |
So what I did was... |
00:30:55 |
what I did was, |
00:30:58 |
and I smashed down |
00:31:01 |
in a really |
00:31:04 |
Are you feeling me? |
00:31:06 |
My aim was dead on! |
00:31:09 |
Ding-dong. |
00:31:12 |
I rang the bell |
00:31:16 |
I also happened |
00:31:19 |
Took me like four hours |
00:31:22 |
What was my point? |
00:31:28 |
Oh, yeah. |
00:31:29 |
You know, |
00:31:33 |
believe that people |
00:31:35 |
Does anyone mind that I'm |
00:31:45 |
Well, Jen, |
00:31:49 |
Oh, I knew you guys |
00:31:51 |
soon as I saw the van. |
00:31:53 |
Yeah, |
00:31:57 |
You should know |
00:32:00 |
We're gonna spend |
00:32:04 |
Jen: |
00:32:07 |
You guys mind |
00:32:09 |
Funny, I thought |
00:32:12 |
Don't worry. |
00:32:14 |
Anyone want to go |
00:32:17 |
Oh, God... |
00:32:19 |
I think I love you. |
00:32:21 |
Right back at you. |
00:32:33 |
I haven't been here |
00:32:36 |
Where is this place? |
00:32:37 |
Asbury Park. |
00:32:39 |
Asbury Park. |
00:32:41 |
Look at what a shit |
00:32:44 |
Shit old towns |
00:32:48 |
(Jim and Jen laugh) |
00:32:58 |
Holy shit. |
00:33:00 |
Those fucking mushrooms |
00:33:02 |
Yeah? Are you feeling it? |
00:33:10 |
Jen: Hey, isn't Asbury Park |
00:33:15 |
Look at this place. |
00:33:16 |
It looks closed. |
00:33:19 |
I mean, like, |
00:33:23 |
God, it's kind of |
00:33:25 |
God, I live |
00:33:29 |
Okay, |
00:33:30 |
If you wanna save money, |
00:33:32 |
Whoa whoa, what the hell's that? |
00:33:42 |
Liz: |
00:33:44 |
Bill: No no no, he probably makes |
00:33:47 |
Steve: There's plenty |
00:33:52 |
Jim: |
00:33:55 |
I'm surprised he doesn't |
00:33:57 |
Jen: Come on. |
00:34:01 |
We can figure out |
00:34:03 |
Oh, great, |
00:34:05 |
Look, he's leaving. |
00:34:07 |
- Let go of me. |
00:34:10 |
- Bill: Hey, he's going. |
00:34:13 |
Cathy, could be fun. |
00:34:16 |
That's right, Jen. |
00:34:19 |
- See how that works? |
00:34:22 |
Fuck chill, Jim. |
00:34:23 |
Okay, this is supposed |
00:34:25 |
Fine, I'll wait here and call for me |
00:34:28 |
- Cath, come on. |
00:34:32 |
I'm fine. Go. |
00:34:34 |
Go. |
00:34:38 |
Yaa-ow! |
00:34:41 |
Have fun with little |
00:34:43 |
In fact, why don't you just have fun? |
00:34:47 |
Oh, nice. |
00:34:52 |
I'm sorry. |
00:34:54 |
Do what you want |
00:34:58 |
And I really |
00:35:08 |
(sighs) |
00:35:11 |
Go ahead. |
00:35:15 |
(thunder rumbling) |
00:35:17 |
Jim: Jen, Jen, |
00:35:21 |
I have an idea. |
00:35:23 |
Oh, man, |
00:35:25 |
this place is frickin' |
00:36:37 |
Oh my God. |
00:36:41 |
God! Jesus! |
00:36:43 |
Come on! |
00:36:51 |
This place |
00:37:18 |
Whoa, shit! |
00:37:22 |
(woman screaming) |
00:37:24 |
(woman cackling) |
00:37:29 |
(clock chimes) |
00:37:32 |
(man moans) |
00:37:38 |
(laughing maniacally) |
00:37:41 |
(roars) |
00:37:46 |
(laughs) |
00:37:58 |
What's up? |
00:38:01 |
Way to go, bro. |
00:38:04 |
Come on. |
00:38:10 |
Nice and dry. |
00:38:12 |
How did you get |
00:38:14 |
Liz, seriously, do you think the only |
00:38:18 |
No, seriously, though, |
00:38:21 |
- and pushed a few buttons. |
00:38:24 |
what to do |
00:38:26 |
- Liz: I'm shocked. |
00:38:28 |
I'm soaked. |
00:38:30 |
You know, we really |
00:38:32 |
Cathy knows where we are. |
00:38:34 |
- to join us, she can, right? |
00:38:36 |
I agree. We should |
00:38:39 |
Let's go. |
00:38:42 |
Cool. |
00:38:44 |
Just think, I could have hitched |
00:38:50 |
- (gunshots) |
00:38:59 |
(woman laughing) |
00:39:12 |
(clock ticking) |
00:39:21 |
(animal howls) |
00:39:36 |
(all chattering, giggling) |
00:39:40 |
(screams) |
00:39:42 |
Oh my God. |
00:39:49 |
Look at the motion. |
00:39:52 |
- Oh my God. |
00:39:55 |
(man screaming) |
00:40:01 |
(yelps) |
00:40:03 |
How cool is that? |
00:40:05 |
Yeah yeah yeah. |
00:40:09 |
- (child laughing) |
00:40:15 |
Hey, dude, don't fuck with anything. |
00:40:18 |
add destruction of property |
00:40:22 |
Shh! Steve, Steve, |
00:40:26 |
Let it go. |
00:40:31 |
Steve: Had to go and take |
00:40:38 |
Steve: Put it down. |
00:40:40 |
Steve, Steve, really, |
00:40:43 |
It's okay. |
00:40:49 |
What is this? |
00:40:53 |
What's wrong, Jim? |
00:40:55 |
Steve: What did you do |
00:40:58 |
Nothing. |
00:41:04 |
Yeah. |
00:41:09 |
All right, moving on. |
00:41:39 |
(rain pattering) |
00:41:44 |
Mmm. |
00:41:47 |
Dude, I cannot believe |
00:41:49 |
This place |
00:41:54 |
Jim, light me, please. |
00:41:57 |
- Easy easy, Jim. |
00:42:00 |
- (Jen laughing) |
00:42:04 |
I have to say, |
00:42:06 |
this isn't too bad. |
00:42:08 |
Got a little smoke. |
00:42:09 |
Got a little... |
00:42:11 |
(screams) |
00:42:20 |
Can't we unplug |
00:42:23 |
(Jim laughing) |
00:42:27 |
- Did you see that? |
00:42:32 |
There's someone... |
00:42:34 |
there's someone watching us |
00:42:38 |
You sure, Liz? |
00:42:41 |
(laughing) |
00:42:42 |
Never mind. |
00:42:45 |
Yes, and there is definitely no shortage |
00:42:47 |
lurking in this |
00:42:50 |
God, you gotta wonder |
00:42:52 |
how all this |
00:42:54 |
affects this place. |
00:42:56 |
I mean, |
00:42:59 |
You're closer to the truth |
00:43:03 |
Do you guys know why |
00:43:05 |
- It's a local legend. |
00:43:08 |
one town over. |
00:43:11 |
Fuckin'-A, man. |
00:43:15 |
- You're from Jersey, brother? |
00:43:17 |
Well, you had to have heard |
00:43:21 |
about two sisters. |
00:43:24 |
About two sisters |
00:43:27 |
who died right here. |
00:43:31 |
I think it was back |
00:43:35 |
So what happened? |
00:43:36 |
They were murdered, |
00:43:40 |
disemboweled. |
00:43:42 |
At their funerals, |
00:43:46 |
it was closed casket. |
00:43:48 |
Nobody wanted |
00:43:51 |
It was, I mean, |
00:43:53 |
huge out here. |
00:43:55 |
It was in all |
00:43:57 |
Wow, Jim, |
00:44:00 |
(shrieks) |
00:44:01 |
What an imbecile. |
00:44:03 |
How about we turn the page |
00:44:06 |
Legend goes |
00:44:09 |
this hideous, deformed, |
00:44:12 |
that wore a mask |
00:44:15 |
Supposedly, the man had, |
00:44:18 |
of a five-year-old. |
00:44:19 |
He lived right here |
00:44:21 |
in this Dark Ride. |
00:44:23 |
What, he lived |
00:44:26 |
Yes, he lived |
00:44:29 |
(chuckles) |
00:44:31 |
See, the guy who operated |
00:44:37 |
two very different kids. |
00:44:40 |
There was the younger one |
00:44:42 |
and there was |
00:44:44 |
He was the one |
00:44:46 |
So he kept him |
00:44:50 |
locked up |
00:44:51 |
in a dark ride. |
00:44:53 |
Yeah, I think I heard |
00:44:56 |
But I think it happened |
00:44:58 |
Really? |
00:45:00 |
Well, I heard something |
00:45:03 |
traveling dark ride |
00:45:06 |
to these different |
00:45:08 |
It was like... |
00:45:10 |
No no. |
00:45:13 |
That's cute, but no, |
00:45:16 |
Did they go to jail? |
00:45:19 |
See, in the end |
00:45:21 |
The ride was closed... |
00:45:23 |
(dramatic voice) |
00:45:26 |
(all laughing) |
00:45:31 |
- Who's got the weed? |
00:45:33 |
All right. |
00:45:35 |
Yeah, so that's |
00:45:39 |
Well, why didn't you |
00:45:42 |
Because I wanted you |
00:45:44 |
and if I would have told you the story, |
00:45:48 |
So I didn't. |
00:45:51 |
You know, with all |
00:45:53 |
it was nuts. |
00:45:55 |
and the town was crazy. |
00:45:58 |
Jim, there's... |
00:46:00 |
There's one little problem |
00:46:05 |
What's that, Bill? |
00:46:07 |
The same problem |
00:46:09 |
is that they just believe |
00:46:11 |
without ever |
00:46:15 |
Newspapers take more |
00:46:18 |
than "E! True |
00:46:20 |
See, your guys' |
00:46:23 |
never died. |
00:46:25 |
He was shot that day, |
00:46:28 |
but he's |
00:46:31 |
If you ask me, |
00:46:32 |
to the electric chair |
00:46:34 |
Instead, they just set him up |
00:46:36 |
And how would you know? |
00:46:38 |
Dude, you're fucking with us. |
00:46:42 |
Bill: I wish I was. |
00:46:44 |
Those two teenagers... |
00:46:47 |
you know, the ones |
00:46:52 |
those were my cousins. |
00:46:53 |
- Your cousins. |
00:46:55 |
Oh my God. |
00:46:58 |
That's how I know that |
00:47:01 |
Why does it always have to |
00:47:04 |
or Jedidiah? |
00:47:06 |
I mean, why can't it |
00:47:09 |
or even Chris? |
00:47:10 |
No no. |
00:47:13 |
Let him finish. |
00:47:14 |
Or Ernie. |
00:47:18 |
Bill: |
00:47:20 |
Ernie is not his name. |
00:47:23 |
It's Jonah. |
00:47:25 |
And he's not a monster. |
00:47:28 |
God, we do love our monsters |
00:47:33 |
But a murderer killed |
00:47:41 |
The police psychologist |
00:47:42 |
said the sick bastard |
00:47:45 |
with his victims. |
00:47:47 |
He was reenacting the sets |
00:47:50 |
So he mimicked |
00:47:52 |
whatever he saw |
00:47:54 |
Yeah. |
00:47:57 |
Jonah see, Jonah do. |
00:48:04 |
That is heavy, dude. |
00:48:06 |
I am so sorry. |
00:48:08 |
Well, that was more interesting |
00:48:11 |
Jim: I shouldn't have |
00:48:12 |
No, Jim, it's not |
00:48:15 |
Besides, these are |
00:48:17 |
you tell in places |
00:48:19 |
to try and scare |
00:48:22 |
The only difference is, |
00:48:25 |
This one's real. |
00:48:28 |
Cue the thunder |
00:48:30 |
(laughing) |
00:48:51 |
Ooh! |
00:48:55 |
That's cool. |
00:48:59 |
(clock ticking) |
00:49:05 |
Steve. |
00:49:07 |
(clock chiming) |
00:49:09 |
Steve: |
00:49:11 |
Jen: Grab a lantern |
00:49:13 |
so we can see what |
00:49:27 |
Come on. |
00:49:29 |
- It won't reach. |
00:49:31 |
Hey, grab that mirror. |
00:49:38 |
Bounce this off it. |
00:49:43 |
I don't see anything. |
00:49:48 |
Jen: Okay, wait. |
00:49:52 |
There's nothing in here. |
00:49:54 |
Wait wait wait. |
00:49:59 |
(Jen screams) |
00:50:01 |
- What the...? No! Oh! |
00:50:05 |
Cathy! Cathy! |
00:50:07 |
Help! Help! Help! |
00:50:08 |
(laughing hysterically) |
00:50:10 |
Got you. |
00:50:13 |
I couldn't help myself. |
00:50:16 |
You looked like |
00:50:18 |
Oh, my God. |
00:50:21 |
Oh, man, you should have |
00:50:23 |
First, you're all like, "Oh!" |
00:50:25 |
And then you did, like, this great... |
00:50:27 |
It was fucking killer. |
00:50:29 |
Aw, you still really care. |
00:50:31 |
After what you said back there |
00:50:34 |
No, fuck you, Cathy. |
00:50:36 |
And stay fucked |
00:50:38 |
Well, I wouldn't call |
00:50:41 |
including foreplay |
00:50:44 |
Jim: What the hell |
00:50:47 |
- (thunder rumbling) |
00:50:50 |
- It's awesome. |
00:50:52 |
Liz: Did you plan |
00:50:53 |
- You were in on this. |
00:50:59 |
And, you know, |
00:51:02 |
I kinda figured she'd be better |
00:51:05 |
So I just pulled her aside |
00:51:08 |
Guilty. |
00:51:11 |
Do you guys honestly |
00:51:13 |
in the van by myself? |
00:51:16 |
- So you planned this trip? |
00:51:20 |
- Were you fucking in on this? |
00:51:22 |
Calm down. |
00:51:25 |
And coming to the Dark Ride |
00:51:27 |
of your little prank? |
00:51:30 |
You know, |
00:51:32 |
to check it out. |
00:51:34 |
But seriously, |
00:51:36 |
my parents never let me |
00:51:39 |
I never even went to their gravesite. |
00:51:42 |
So, I don't know, |
00:51:45 |
it's kind of like |
00:51:48 |
But the flier... |
00:51:50 |
I had that with me. That would have |
00:51:53 |
It would have showed up |
00:51:57 |
Jim: Jesus, Bill, that's |
00:52:00 |
just to go |
00:52:02 |
That rocked. |
00:52:04 |
I'm so proud of you. |
00:52:06 |
Well, your friend Steve here left me |
00:52:09 |
a few months back |
00:52:11 |
and found his dick inside |
00:52:13 |
- This is about that? |
00:52:16 |
Yes, it is |
00:52:17 |
I know you don't think it's a big deal, |
00:52:20 |
Jim: Steve, you had sex |
00:52:21 |
Yeah, and she's not |
00:52:23 |
Playing dead |
00:52:25 |
- Jen: It was funny. |
00:52:27 |
Cathy: Hey, you know |
00:52:29 |
Don't hate the playa, |
00:52:32 |
Oh, come on, Stevie. |
00:52:34 |
You know how much |
00:52:38 |
- Jeez. |
00:52:41 |
- Cathy: Stop it! |
00:52:43 |
- Lay off him! |
00:52:45 |
You, you want |
00:52:47 |
How many friends do you have now? |
00:52:50 |
Well, |
00:52:52 |
Lay off him. Stop. |
00:52:54 |
I should have left you beating off |
00:52:57 |
Bad joke. |
00:52:59 |
Liz: Well, unless you |
00:53:01 |
Is there anyone else |
00:53:04 |
I'm done. |
00:53:06 |
Dude, I would totally |
00:53:08 |
if you did that |
00:53:10 |
But you didn't, |
00:53:12 |
I didn't know |
00:53:14 |
Look at you coming out |
00:53:18 |
Now that you're done, |
00:53:20 |
This place |
00:53:21 |
Jim: |
00:53:24 |
- Okay. |
00:53:35 |
Scared the shit out |
00:53:38 |
- That was priceless. |
00:53:40 |
That was so awesome. |
00:53:43 |
I have a feeling |
00:53:45 |
you're gonna need |
00:53:48 |
Probably. |
00:53:55 |
That's weird. |
00:53:57 |
The door is locked. |
00:53:59 |
Well, open it. |
00:54:01 |
Well, I would, Elizabeth, |
00:54:05 |
- from the outside. |
00:54:09 |
I bet it was Steve. |
00:54:11 |
Liz: |
00:54:13 |
- Steve, please. |
00:54:16 |
Please, come on. |
00:54:21 |
She's apologizing, Steve. |
00:54:24 |
(people screaming) |
00:54:30 |
(maniacal laughter) |
00:54:33 |
Jim: No, seriously, |
00:54:36 |
I did a pretty shitty job |
00:54:37 |
I'm not surprised that |
00:54:40 |
I'll just go back down there |
00:54:42 |
- You all stay right here. |
00:54:44 |
I was thinking about |
00:54:47 |
It's what I do |
00:55:01 |
(indistinct voices whispering) |
00:55:36 |
Jesus Christ, Jen, you almost |
00:55:40 |
Your heart rate's not exactly |
00:55:48 |
These 'shrooms are really |
00:55:50 |
Yeah, I know. |
00:55:51 |
Well, they were on |
00:55:57 |
Maybe he's working on it. |
00:55:59 |
I bet that little slut |
00:56:02 |
Holy shit. I didn't even realize |
00:56:05 |
Hey, did you see Steve, |
00:56:09 |
Because I wanna grab him |
00:56:12 |
Oh, really? |
00:56:14 |
- Oh my God. |
00:56:17 |
Don't you feel good? |
00:56:19 |
We don't exactly |
00:56:22 |
It's kind of awkward timing. |
00:56:29 |
My timing is what |
00:56:37 |
What about the others? |
00:56:38 |
Couldn't find their way |
00:56:42 |
But I heard them |
00:56:44 |
Yeah, I think we should |
00:56:46 |
their children games. |
00:56:48 |
Besides, we have |
00:56:51 |
Oh, God, I love you. |
00:56:56 |
Excuse me... |
00:56:59 |
just one moment. |
00:57:02 |
- What are you gonna do? |
00:57:04 |
(R&B music playing) |
00:57:08 |
Just a little mood lighting, |
00:57:10 |
a little mood music. |
00:57:13 |
Sorry I don't |
00:57:28 |
Oh, God. |
00:57:30 |
Thank you. |
00:57:36 |
- (electricity powering up and down) |
00:57:38 |
I'm so done with him. |
00:57:42 |
- What goes around comes around, right? |
00:57:45 |
Sorry. |
00:57:48 |
I can't see a thing. |
00:57:52 |
Hey, Liz, watch out for the tracks. |
00:57:55 |
Look, I don't know |
00:57:56 |
but if we're gonna |
00:57:58 |
we've gotta find |
00:58:00 |
- Cathy: In the dark? |
00:58:02 |
We could use |
00:58:05 |
What's the concert method? |
00:58:06 |
- (lighter clicks) |
00:58:09 |
- Bill: Yeah. |
00:58:19 |
(thunder crashes) |
00:58:32 |
This is better. |
00:58:37 |
Thanks. |
00:59:01 |
(child laughing) |
00:59:10 |
(creaking) |
00:59:12 |
(man screaming) |
00:59:24 |
(man screaming) |
00:59:30 |
(doorbell rings) |
00:59:32 |
(child laughing) |
01:00:01 |
(child laughing) |
01:00:16 |
Cathy: St-Steve? |
01:00:33 |
- (screaming) |
01:00:36 |
They keep screaming. |
01:00:40 |
(pop music playing) |
01:00:41 |
Oh, God, |
01:00:44 |
They're just joking. |
01:00:48 |
- Okay. |
01:00:49 |
Oh, thank you. |
01:01:05 |
I think we have to go, |
01:01:09 |
We've gotta get help. |
01:01:15 |
- Jim! Jim! |
01:01:17 |
- (moaning) |
01:01:19 |
(Bill screaming |
01:01:24 |
What's going on? |
01:01:28 |
Oh, Jen, you cannot leave me |
01:01:30 |
It's unhealthy. |
01:01:32 |
Jen, you're killing me. |
01:01:34 |
Please. Thank you. |
01:01:37 |
?I think I'm going out |
01:01:40 |
? I think I'm going |
01:01:42 |
? I think I'm going out |
01:01:45 |
- (kissing) |
01:01:47 |
Oh, God, |
01:01:50 |
Oh, God. |
01:01:52 |
(moaning) |
01:02:17 |
(Jen whimpers) |
01:02:28 |
Come here. |
01:02:36 |
What the fuck? |
01:03:18 |
What the fuck? |
01:03:21 |
Holy shit. |
01:03:22 |
(crashes) |
01:03:24 |
Come back. |
01:03:27 |
Don't fucking leave me. |
01:03:33 |
Oh, God! |
01:03:37 |
Help me! Somebody |
01:03:41 |
- (lock jiggling) |
01:03:45 |
Somebody help me! |
01:03:50 |
Oh, God. |
01:04:01 |
(whimpering) |
01:04:16 |
Oh, God. |
01:04:20 |
(maniacal laughter) |
01:04:27 |
(laughing continues) |
01:04:29 |
- What? |
01:04:31 |
- What? |
01:04:48 |
- (screaming) |
01:04:50 |
- Cathy. |
01:04:53 |
All right, listen to me. |
01:04:56 |
Shh, I lost it |
01:04:58 |
Listen to me, all right? |
01:05:02 |
I did. |
01:05:04 |
We have to find a way |
01:05:07 |
There has to be |
01:05:09 |
or fire-code, something. |
01:05:12 |
This is a fucking |
01:05:14 |
for God's sakes. |
01:05:22 |
Cathy: |
01:05:37 |
- I'm too tired. |
01:05:50 |
- No no no no. Where are you going? |
01:05:54 |
Don't you get it? |
01:05:56 |
I brought us here. |
01:05:57 |
I have to go find |
01:05:59 |
- Go get help! |
01:06:15 |
Cathy! |
01:06:21 |
Cath. |
01:06:25 |
(Liz screams) |
01:06:27 |
(Liz crying) |
01:07:02 |
(maniacal laughter) |
01:07:02 |
(maniacal laughter) |
01:07:08 |
(loud creaking) |
01:07:40 |
(sobbing) |
01:08:50 |
(screaming) |
01:08:54 |
That might be her! |
01:08:56 |
Cathy: |
01:08:58 |
(screaming) |
01:09:08 |
(screaming) |
01:09:11 |
(sobbing) |
01:09:19 |
(bangs the door) |
01:09:21 |
(thunder crashing) |
01:10:03 |
(screaming) |
01:10:28 |
(screaming) |
01:10:42 |
(Liz whimpers) |
01:10:47 |
(Liz screaming) |
01:10:54 |
(crying) |
01:11:06 |
(carnival music playing) |
01:11:42 |
(blubbering) |
01:12:14 |
Yeah, this is Reggie. |
01:12:17 |
I'm at the northeast side |
01:12:20 |
- requesting backup. |
01:12:22 |
Reggie: |
01:12:24 |
- that means you guys. |
01:12:28 |
I got a report that there was some |
01:12:31 |
I'm gonna go |
01:12:33 |
Sounds good to me. |
01:12:34 |
Well, by definition |
01:12:36 |
I'm asking you |
01:12:38 |
- Reinforcements are on the way. |
01:13:05 |
Reggie: |
01:13:07 |
This is security. |
01:13:09 |
Anybody |
01:13:11 |
Oh my God! |
01:13:13 |
Reggie: Is anybody |
01:13:16 |
Hello! |
01:13:24 |
Oh my God, please... |
01:13:26 |
Reggie: |
01:13:40 |
God damn, girl, |
01:13:44 |
All right, look, |
01:13:45 |
everything's gonna be okay. |
01:13:48 |
Come with me. |
01:13:51 |
Just relax. |
01:13:54 |
What are you |
01:13:55 |
I told you, miss, |
01:13:58 |
everything's |
01:14:00 |
If you relax... |
01:14:22 |
(screaming) |
01:14:50 |
You'd better get over there |
01:14:54 |
You got it. |
01:15:08 |
(crying) |
01:15:22 |
Wait, please. |
01:15:45 |
Come on. |
01:15:47 |
No! |
01:15:51 |
(crying) |
01:16:08 |
Oh my God! |
01:16:50 |
Come on, |
01:17:02 |
Jim! |
01:17:06 |
Oh my God. |
01:17:19 |
(maniacal laughter) |
01:17:37 |
No! No! |
01:17:57 |
(thunder rumbling) |
01:18:01 |
(screaming) |
01:18:01 |
(screaming) |
01:18:05 |
(maniacal laughter) |
01:18:07 |
(electricity powers down) |
01:18:13 |
Cathy? |
01:18:15 |
Cathy. Cathy. |
01:18:17 |
Cathy, wake up. |
01:18:19 |
Cath. Oh, shit. |
01:18:30 |
- Bill: Jim. |
01:18:40 |
Bill. |
01:18:43 |
Dude, you're... |
01:18:46 |
you're alive, man. |
01:18:47 |
Are you okay? |
01:18:50 |
Dude, I'm about as far from okay |
01:18:53 |
I'm freaking out |
01:18:56 |
You need to get us |
01:18:59 |
Shh, it's over now. |
01:19:02 |
I know. It's okay. |
01:19:07 |
Is he dead? |
01:19:10 |
Are you kidding me? |
01:19:12 |
or an it, man. |
01:19:14 |
We need to grab Cathy |
01:19:17 |
Is she okay? |
01:19:22 |
I mean, |
01:19:24 |
I don't know. |
01:19:31 |
Bill... |
01:19:32 |
what are you |
01:19:35 |
I could have sworn |
01:19:37 |
How did you get away? |
01:19:39 |
Are you kidding me, Jim? |
01:19:42 |
I know this place like |
01:19:47 |
Jim... |
01:19:49 |
(stabbing sound) |
01:19:51 |
How many friends |
01:19:57 |
(grunts) |
01:19:58 |
Revenge, huh? |
01:20:01 |
Don't call it revenge. |
01:20:03 |
Think of it as... |
01:20:05 |
time-released justice. |
01:20:10 |
Fuck you, assholes. |
01:20:24 |
Well, Jim, |
01:20:26 |
turns out that |
01:20:29 |
Seems a boy's best friend |
01:20:31 |
It's his older brother. |
01:20:37 |
Each murder he committed |
01:20:41 |
He wasn't just playing. |
01:20:48 |
He was playing |
01:20:51 |
Some monsters are harder |
01:20:54 |
to recognize |
01:20:57 |
(rain pattering) |
01:20:57 |
(rain pattering) |
01:21:01 |
(moans faintly) |
01:22:06 |
Bill: Thanks for |
01:22:26 |
(thunder rumbling) |
01:22:47 |
(sirens wailing) |
01:23:10 |
(eerie carnival music playing) |