Dark Ride

en
00:00:13 (creaking)
00:00:23 (creaking continues)
00:01:33 Looks like it's closed.
00:01:36 Don't be such a wimp.
00:01:45 (maniacal laughter)
00:01:57 I told you, Colleen,
00:01:59 you could have just
00:02:01 Will you just leave me
00:02:03 - (carnival music playing)
00:02:04 Jerk.
00:02:06 Come on already.
00:02:08 (laughter continues)
00:02:24 Two tickets, please.
00:02:30 Round trip or one way?
00:02:33 (laughs)
00:02:38 Go on, get on.
00:02:50 (gears hiss)
00:03:01 - (banging)
00:03:09 (maniacal laughter)
00:03:20 You see? It's all fake,
00:03:23 Don't you feel
00:03:28 (shrieks, laughs)
00:03:32 Ooh-hh...
00:03:43 (bubbling)
00:03:48 (screams)
00:04:00 Look at that devil face.
00:04:02 (laughs)
00:04:05 You're not looking.
00:04:07 Mmm,
00:04:12 - (yells)
00:04:14 Oh, poor baby.
00:04:19 - (roars)
00:04:22 - (gasps)
00:04:26 Whoa, look at that.
00:04:29 (player piano playing)
00:04:31 (gunfire)
00:04:35 Lmagine if this whole ride
00:04:38 We would have to find
00:04:40 - (animal howls)
00:04:42 Look at that fire,
00:04:44 That's awesome!
00:04:46 You're not looking.
00:04:50 You are such a little girl, Colleen.
00:04:53 I'm gonna start calling
00:04:55 I knew I should have left you home,
00:04:58 I'm gonna make you get out
00:05:05 You know what?
00:05:06 (girls screaming)
00:05:08 (maniacal laughter)
00:05:10 Sam!
00:05:11 (maniacal laughter continues)
00:05:15 All right, you stupid...
00:05:17 ride.
00:05:19 (crying)
00:05:27 Colleen: Sam!
00:06:09 (Colleen screams)
00:06:19 (creaking)
00:08:51 (rock music playing)
00:09:10 ? She's lying
00:09:15 Cathy, am I even gonna
00:09:17 I don't think so, Liz. Oh, unless
00:09:20 - for "Girls Gone Stupid."
00:09:23 You know you're going to.
00:09:25 Can you tell me again
00:09:27 and not someplace with palm trees
00:09:31 Look at it like this:
00:09:33 by enduring this trip
00:09:35 and I do mean "endure"...
00:09:37 will more than make up
00:09:39 and anything else
00:09:41 Think of it as business,
00:09:44 I'm glad you suggested
00:09:47 It's retro.
00:09:48 It's like something
00:09:50 Yeah, well, I was hoping
00:09:53 - skewed younger than that.
00:09:56 - you freak show.
00:09:58 Anyway, spring break's become
00:10:01 for multinational consumer product
00:10:04 like deodorant
00:10:07 Fuck! "Final Cut," dude.
00:10:10 What are you doing
00:10:12 You gave it to me
00:10:14 - Oh.
00:10:17 and put one
00:10:19 We're going to spring break,
00:10:20 - What is this?
00:10:23 And you have to use it
00:10:26 You know about her?
00:10:31 You know that Jim's
00:10:34 Yeah, I know that.
00:10:35 Are you okay with that,
00:10:39 What happened was
00:10:40 and I hooked up with someone
00:10:42 - It happened once, come on.
00:10:45 - Once.
00:10:47 It's like the measles.
00:10:49 - Okay okay.
00:10:54 You do know how I get
00:10:57 I could basically probably hook up
00:11:00 - The whole school knows how you get.
00:11:03 Do you realize that
00:11:06 Michael Cimino almost bankrupted
00:11:09 It's just such an abuse
00:11:11 Why don't you take it down a notch
00:11:14 We're trying
00:11:16 What's the deal
00:11:18 I don't know. My whole situation
00:11:21 I mean, all this together,
00:11:24 I'm fucking dizzy
00:11:25 And then the shit
00:11:28 - So what did you tell him?
00:11:32 Do you still love him?
00:11:34 I don't know.
00:11:35 You know, I'm 19 years old.
00:11:38 I highly doubt that quickies
00:11:41 and a romantic
00:11:43 by a frat keg qualify.
00:11:45 I look at it like this...
00:11:48 if I can get
00:11:50 then that's
00:11:52 If I can't keep
00:11:54 then, well,
00:11:57 Oh, so you're taking
00:12:02 - Do you still love her?
00:12:04 If we don't fuck during vacation,
00:12:07 If she can't keep her hands off me,
00:12:09 So you're taking
00:12:12 You can say that.
00:12:14 - Oh, God.
00:12:17 Both: Hi.
00:12:19 Oh, God, there they are.
00:12:21 Wait a minute. Why would you want them
00:12:24 if you don't think
00:12:26 Gas costs?
00:12:28 Doesn't the expression "bringing sand
00:12:31 I'm not too worried
00:12:33 Although I gotta admit it, it's kind
00:12:37 What, you always wanted
00:12:40 Oh.
00:12:42 - Steve: Hey.
00:12:44 Hello.
00:12:46 - How are you doing?
00:12:49 Okay, gang, so we all set
00:12:53 Big Daddy's gotta go.
00:12:55 Well, when's Big Daddy
00:12:58 The road's calling,
00:13:13 Bye. See ya.
00:13:15 What up, man?
00:13:17 - Hey.
00:13:19 Hey.
00:13:23 Elizabeth,
00:13:25 it's been a long time.
00:13:27 Time was the only long
00:13:31 Big Daddy.
00:13:33 Ow!
00:13:42 You got AAA
00:13:44 Seriously,
00:13:45 you guys, don't talk shit...
00:13:48 About my baby.
00:13:51 The '70s called.
00:13:53 That is so funny.
00:13:56 He's like
00:13:58 Bill, thanks
00:14:00 Should be a lot of fun.
00:14:01 Yeah, no, I'm just happy
00:14:04 Boy's gonna get him
00:14:06 - My boy's gonna get him some tail.
00:14:07 Come on, stop it!
00:14:14 Hello,
00:14:17 John Schlesinger,
00:14:19 Jon Voigt, Joe Buck.
00:14:22 Guys, it's a classic.
00:14:24 It's the first and only
00:14:26 for Best Picture.
00:14:30 Who are you people?
00:14:33 - Get in.
00:14:36 I love the shag.
00:14:36 I love the shag.
00:14:38 All right, let's hit the road, kids.
00:14:43 ? Making change?
00:14:45 ? In factions...?
00:14:53 ? Yeah, the kids?
00:14:54 ? Are all right...?
00:15:02 ? It's a scene
00:15:15 ? If the best is really
00:15:18 ? We'd all stay?
00:15:20 ? Longer?
00:15:23 ? And all the seasons
00:15:25 ? Too quickly through?
00:15:28 ? Have passed...?
00:15:47 I guess
00:15:50 Sure this place is open?
00:15:52 Well, all the lights
00:15:57 Steve: Maybe the guy's
00:16:00 Jim:
00:16:02 No, come on, guys.
00:16:05 Steve: Just go check
00:16:17 Bill: Hello.
00:16:24 Hello.
00:16:29 (upbeat piano music playing)
00:16:35 Hi. How are you doing?
00:16:48 '78, that's a good year.
00:16:52 "Deer Hunter"
00:16:57 Guess you didn't happen
00:17:00 Yeah, it had this incredible
00:17:03 (yells in Vietnamese)
00:17:05 Nicky! Nicky!
00:17:11 Know of any good places
00:17:15 Okay,
00:17:33 The old guy in the back,
00:17:36 You guys figure it out.
00:17:42 Dude, your boy
00:17:44 - the gas-station attendant.
00:17:48 (high-pitched)
00:17:52 Yo.
00:17:56 - Just drop some cash and let's jet.
00:17:59 - Not happening.
00:18:02 "No matter how much
00:18:04 the last drop ends up
00:18:06 Poetic but true.
00:18:13 (whistle call)
00:18:20 It's the vanishing man.
00:18:23 (laughs)
00:18:27 - What?
00:18:31 You think I have
00:18:33 Okay, where'd this guy go?
00:18:36 Who do I have to blow
00:18:38 for some gas
00:18:40 That'll be $16 even. Here's a coupon
00:18:43 He mentioned he'd like
00:18:45 Stuckey Ribs is the best
00:18:47 This'll save you $2.50
00:18:50 Thank you. That's very
00:18:52 Now about that blowjob...
00:19:02 Jim tried to give
00:19:04 - No, I didn't, asshole.
00:19:06 You should have seen
00:19:08 He was talking to us about coupons,
00:19:12 Steve:
00:19:14 - Liz, where's Bill?
00:19:16 - I thought he was with you.
00:19:19 Look at this.
00:19:21 Liz:
00:19:23 - (Cathy laughs) Another STD?
00:19:26 "Bleedings from Asbury Park,
00:19:28 the Jersey shore's infamous
00:19:31 25 of the most terrifying rooms
00:19:33 the Dark Ride celebrates
00:19:35 its grand reopening
00:19:38 Let me see that, dude.
00:19:41 - I heard about it.
00:19:42 - And that makes you cool how?
00:19:45 Very lame.
00:19:47 There's things like this
00:19:49 Yeah, and Ferris wheels.
00:19:51 Big scary Ferris wheels.
00:19:54 (both yell)
00:19:55 Okay, wait.
00:19:59 It's the horror attraction
00:20:02 Yeah, it's like that
00:20:04 from the '20s
00:20:06 Didn't catch it.
00:20:08 It's basically carts on tracks,
00:20:11 I love those things.
00:20:14 No, I read
00:20:16 Something happened in there.
00:20:18 The place had been shut down
00:20:20 It's gotta be the first time
00:20:22 Well, it must have been
00:20:25 to shut the whole place down
00:20:37 (lock buzzes)
00:20:45 (chain clinking)
00:21:11 (knocking)
00:21:13 Anybody home?
00:21:22 (door creaking)
00:21:42 Strictly vegetarian,
00:21:44 Why is this freak always
00:21:47 I know your face is
00:21:49 but you don't
00:21:51 We're your friends,
00:21:53 What's the matter?
00:21:55 You don't fancy
00:21:58 Your mattress too soft?
00:22:00 No chocolate
00:22:04 They've been keeping you
00:22:06 for a long time now.
00:22:08 I know you don't think
00:22:11 Seems to me it's
00:22:15 You hear me, freak?
00:22:17 I think some good old
00:22:19 might be just
00:22:22 A little bit of iron
00:22:25 Let's get out of here.
00:22:28 Look at his ears.
00:22:30 I think he's deaf.
00:22:32 He don't give a shit
00:22:36 What? I hear vegetarians
00:22:38 I just wanna see
00:22:41 I mean,
00:22:43 There's nothing wrong with
00:22:46 He's a zombie.
00:22:48 Let's go and mess with the girls.
00:22:51 What, you're in a rush now?
00:22:54 Give me that meat.
00:22:59 Oh, yeah.
00:23:03 Dinnertime, dickhead.
00:23:10 What's the matter?
00:23:12 A little bit too rare?
00:23:13 You want me to send it
00:23:15 so he can cook it up
00:23:19 - What's the matter?
00:23:22 This is a bust.
00:23:23 You're wasting a perfectly
00:23:28 (growls)
00:23:31 What was that?
00:23:33 Well, maybe the poor baby's
00:23:37 He could be allergic.
00:23:40 You're not allergic,
00:23:43 Eat it!
00:23:47 This is choice stuff.
00:23:48 - Put some hair on your...
00:23:50 (growling)
00:24:07 Just...
00:24:14 (screams)
00:24:42 (whimpering)
00:24:57 (screaming)
00:25:42 Hey, have any of you guys actually
00:25:45 Steve: I went to something like this
00:25:48 It scared the crap out
00:25:49 I had nightmares
00:25:51 - You always have nightmares.
00:25:55 You guys are not gonna
00:25:58 We pass by the joint
00:26:01 Hey, did someone
00:26:02 That's too bad.
00:26:05 Oh, bullshit, Liz. A beggar says "boo,"
00:26:09 You never would have gone in the place.
00:26:11 'cause the option's
00:26:13 It's kiddie shit.
00:26:15 I bet cash money you would never even
00:26:18 You're such a fucking cheating asshole,
00:26:21 You gotta be the toughest,
00:26:24 in the fucking room,
00:26:26 - Guys, come on, chill out.
00:26:29 How's that?
00:26:31 Anybody feel like saving
00:26:34 No way!
00:26:35 Why not way?
00:26:37 Come on, let's do it.
00:26:39 I mean, we can do
00:26:41 Yeah. Yeah,
00:26:43 All I ever read about is
00:26:47 how we do nothing,
00:26:50 So let's do something.
00:26:52 I'm in.
00:26:54 - Try to keep me away.
00:26:56 Fuck the motel, guys.
00:26:59 This is something we're gonna be
00:27:02 Bill: I think we should
00:27:04 If it's cool, we'll go in.
00:27:08 Steve:
00:27:12 Bill: Look, guys, if we stay
00:27:14 we increase our funding
00:27:16 if you catch my drift.
00:27:42 Good God.
00:27:45 - Holy shit.
00:27:51 (yawning)
00:27:53 - That would depend.
00:27:56 On whether Jim
00:27:58 - Do not stop this van.
00:28:02 This is almost as good as the old man
00:28:05 I'll bet she's either
00:28:08 Well, what is she doing
00:28:10 She's a homeless,
00:28:12 Where's she gonna be,
00:28:14 How do we know she is alone?
00:28:16 behind her 20 feet
00:28:19 - Maybe her car broke down.
00:28:22 I don't see a car.
00:28:23 You know, guys, I saw this one
00:28:26 Cathy: Shh!
00:28:28 I feel obliged to pick up
00:28:32 Call it my civic duty.
00:28:34 Call it
00:28:42 Hello. Hi.
00:28:45 - Hop in. All right.
00:28:50 - Sweet.
00:28:53 All right.
00:28:55 - How are you doing?
00:28:57 - I'm Jim.
00:28:59 "J"s!
00:29:02 - That's right
00:29:03 - Where are you headed?
00:29:06 Jacksonville.
00:29:09 Did your car break down?
00:29:11 I don't really believe
00:29:14 How ironic. Cathy here
00:29:18 I totally believe
00:29:20 Safety first.
00:29:22 This from a girl who thumbs her way
00:29:24 accepting rides
00:29:26 Cathy: Bill, can I borrow
00:29:29 Yeah yeah,
00:29:32 Jen:
00:29:35 that people
00:29:37 However, this one time
00:29:40 man, I just love
00:29:43 so this guy, anyway,
00:29:46 driving this really
00:29:49 So, chitchat chitchat.
00:29:51 He was a doctor or a banker,
00:29:53 So he asks me
00:29:57 And don't ask me
00:29:59 but we get
00:30:00 Now I don't know a lot
00:30:03 music is the one thing
00:30:05 that I am extremely
00:30:08 I just get it, get it?
00:30:10 So this yuppie dickhead
00:30:13 starts telling me
00:30:16 and how back in the day...
00:30:18 how ADD kids are nowadays,
00:30:21 You know,
00:30:23 Music transcends time
00:30:26 Man, it's like a whole
00:30:29 between...
00:30:31 It's a like a whole
00:30:34 between life, death,
00:30:37 malls, pets,
00:30:40 So Mr. 2.4 Kids,
00:30:43 he tries to kiss me!
00:30:45 He actually has his
00:30:49 all over me!
00:30:53 So what I did was...
00:30:55 what I did was,
00:30:58 and I smashed down
00:31:01 in a really
00:31:04 Are you feeling me?
00:31:06 My aim was dead on!
00:31:09 Ding-dong.
00:31:12 I rang the bell
00:31:16 I also happened
00:31:19 Took me like four hours
00:31:22 What was my point?
00:31:28 Oh, yeah.
00:31:29 You know,
00:31:33 believe that people
00:31:35 Does anyone mind that I'm
00:31:45 Well, Jen,
00:31:49 Oh, I knew you guys
00:31:51 soon as I saw the van.
00:31:53 Yeah,
00:31:57 You should know
00:32:00 We're gonna spend
00:32:04 Jen:
00:32:07 You guys mind
00:32:09 Funny, I thought
00:32:12 Don't worry.
00:32:14 Anyone want to go
00:32:17 Oh, God...
00:32:19 I think I love you.
00:32:21 Right back at you.
00:32:33 I haven't been here
00:32:36 Where is this place?
00:32:37 Asbury Park.
00:32:39 Asbury Park.
00:32:41 Look at what a shit
00:32:44 Shit old towns
00:32:48 (Jim and Jen laugh)
00:32:58 Holy shit.
00:33:00 Those fucking mushrooms
00:33:02 Yeah? Are you feeling it?
00:33:10 Jen: Hey, isn't Asbury Park
00:33:15 Look at this place.
00:33:16 It looks closed.
00:33:19 I mean, like,
00:33:23 God, it's kind of
00:33:25 God, I live
00:33:29 Okay,
00:33:30 If you wanna save money,
00:33:32 Whoa whoa, what the hell's that?
00:33:42 Liz:
00:33:44 Bill: No no no, he probably makes
00:33:47 Steve: There's plenty
00:33:52 Jim:
00:33:55 I'm surprised he doesn't
00:33:57 Jen: Come on.
00:34:01 We can figure out
00:34:03 Oh, great,
00:34:05 Look, he's leaving.
00:34:07 - Let go of me.
00:34:10 - Bill: Hey, he's going.
00:34:13 Cathy, could be fun.
00:34:16 That's right, Jen.
00:34:19 - See how that works?
00:34:22 Fuck chill, Jim.
00:34:23 Okay, this is supposed
00:34:25 Fine, I'll wait here and call for me
00:34:28 - Cath, come on.
00:34:32 I'm fine. Go.
00:34:34 Go.
00:34:38 Yaa-ow!
00:34:41 Have fun with little
00:34:43 In fact, why don't you just have fun?
00:34:47 Oh, nice.
00:34:52 I'm sorry.
00:34:54 Do what you want
00:34:58 And I really
00:35:08 (sighs)
00:35:11 Go ahead.
00:35:15 (thunder rumbling)
00:35:17 Jim: Jen, Jen,
00:35:21 I have an idea.
00:35:23 Oh, man,
00:35:25 this place is frickin'
00:36:37 Oh my God.
00:36:41 God! Jesus!
00:36:43 Come on!
00:36:51 This place
00:37:18 Whoa, shit!
00:37:22 (woman screaming)
00:37:24 (woman cackling)
00:37:29 (clock chimes)
00:37:32 (man moans)
00:37:38 (laughing maniacally)
00:37:41 (roars)
00:37:46 (laughs)
00:37:58 What's up?
00:38:01 Way to go, bro.
00:38:04 Come on.
00:38:10 Nice and dry.
00:38:12 How did you get
00:38:14 Liz, seriously, do you think the only
00:38:18 No, seriously, though,
00:38:21 - and pushed a few buttons.
00:38:24 what to do
00:38:26 - Liz: I'm shocked.
00:38:28 I'm soaked.
00:38:30 You know, we really
00:38:32 Cathy knows where we are.
00:38:34 - to join us, she can, right?
00:38:36 I agree. We should
00:38:39 Let's go.
00:38:42 Cool.
00:38:44 Just think, I could have hitched
00:38:50 - (gunshots)
00:38:59 (woman laughing)
00:39:12 (clock ticking)
00:39:21 (animal howls)
00:39:36 (all chattering, giggling)
00:39:40 (screams)
00:39:42 Oh my God.
00:39:49 Look at the motion.
00:39:52 - Oh my God.
00:39:55 (man screaming)
00:40:01 (yelps)
00:40:03 How cool is that?
00:40:05 Yeah yeah yeah.
00:40:09 - (child laughing)
00:40:15 Hey, dude, don't fuck with anything.
00:40:18 add destruction of property
00:40:22 Shh! Steve, Steve,
00:40:26 Let it go.
00:40:31 Steve: Had to go and take
00:40:38 Steve: Put it down.
00:40:40 Steve, Steve, really,
00:40:43 It's okay.
00:40:49 What is this?
00:40:53 What's wrong, Jim?
00:40:55 Steve: What did you do
00:40:58 Nothing.
00:41:04 Yeah.
00:41:09 All right, moving on.
00:41:39 (rain pattering)
00:41:44 Mmm.
00:41:47 Dude, I cannot believe
00:41:49 This place
00:41:54 Jim, light me, please.
00:41:57 - Easy easy, Jim.
00:42:00 - (Jen laughing)
00:42:04 I have to say,
00:42:06 this isn't too bad.
00:42:08 Got a little smoke.
00:42:09 Got a little...
00:42:11 (screams)
00:42:20 Can't we unplug
00:42:23 (Jim laughing)
00:42:27 - Did you see that?
00:42:32 There's someone...
00:42:34 there's someone watching us
00:42:38 You sure, Liz?
00:42:41 (laughing)
00:42:42 Never mind.
00:42:45 Yes, and there is definitely no shortage
00:42:47 lurking in this
00:42:50 God, you gotta wonder
00:42:52 how all this
00:42:54 affects this place.
00:42:56 I mean,
00:42:59 You're closer to the truth
00:43:03 Do you guys know why
00:43:05 - It's a local legend.
00:43:08 one town over.
00:43:11 Fuckin'-A, man.
00:43:15 - You're from Jersey, brother?
00:43:17 Well, you had to have heard
00:43:21 about two sisters.
00:43:24 About two sisters
00:43:27 who died right here.
00:43:31 I think it was back
00:43:35 So what happened?
00:43:36 They were murdered,
00:43:40 disemboweled.
00:43:42 At their funerals,
00:43:46 it was closed casket.
00:43:48 Nobody wanted
00:43:51 It was, I mean,
00:43:53 huge out here.
00:43:55 It was in all
00:43:57 Wow, Jim,
00:44:00 (shrieks)
00:44:01 What an imbecile.
00:44:03 How about we turn the page
00:44:06 Legend goes
00:44:09 this hideous, deformed,
00:44:12 that wore a mask
00:44:15 Supposedly, the man had,
00:44:18 of a five-year-old.
00:44:19 He lived right here
00:44:21 in this Dark Ride.
00:44:23 What, he lived
00:44:26 Yes, he lived
00:44:29 (chuckles)
00:44:31 See, the guy who operated
00:44:37 two very different kids.
00:44:40 There was the younger one
00:44:42 and there was
00:44:44 He was the one
00:44:46 So he kept him
00:44:50 locked up
00:44:51 in a dark ride.
00:44:53 Yeah, I think I heard
00:44:56 But I think it happened
00:44:58 Really?
00:45:00 Well, I heard something
00:45:03 traveling dark ride
00:45:06 to these different
00:45:08 It was like...
00:45:10 No no.
00:45:13 That's cute, but no,
00:45:16 Did they go to jail?
00:45:19 See, in the end
00:45:21 The ride was closed...
00:45:23 (dramatic voice)
00:45:26 (all laughing)
00:45:31 - Who's got the weed?
00:45:33 All right.
00:45:35 Yeah, so that's
00:45:39 Well, why didn't you
00:45:42 Because I wanted you
00:45:44 and if I would have told you the story,
00:45:48 So I didn't.
00:45:51 You know, with all
00:45:53 it was nuts.
00:45:55 and the town was crazy.
00:45:58 Jim, there's...
00:46:00 There's one little problem
00:46:05 What's that, Bill?
00:46:07 The same problem
00:46:09 is that they just believe
00:46:11 without ever
00:46:15 Newspapers take more
00:46:18 than "E! True
00:46:20 See, your guys'
00:46:23 never died.
00:46:25 He was shot that day,
00:46:28 but he's
00:46:31 If you ask me,
00:46:32 to the electric chair
00:46:34 Instead, they just set him up
00:46:36 And how would you know?
00:46:38 Dude, you're fucking with us.
00:46:42 Bill: I wish I was.
00:46:44 Those two teenagers...
00:46:47 you know, the ones
00:46:52 those were my cousins.
00:46:53 - Your cousins.
00:46:55 Oh my God.
00:46:58 That's how I know that
00:47:01 Why does it always have to
00:47:04 or Jedidiah?
00:47:06 I mean, why can't it
00:47:09 or even Chris?
00:47:10 No no.
00:47:13 Let him finish.
00:47:14 Or Ernie.
00:47:18 Bill:
00:47:20 Ernie is not his name.
00:47:23 It's Jonah.
00:47:25 And he's not a monster.
00:47:28 God, we do love our monsters
00:47:33 But a murderer killed
00:47:41 The police psychologist
00:47:42 said the sick bastard
00:47:45 with his victims.
00:47:47 He was reenacting the sets
00:47:50 So he mimicked
00:47:52 whatever he saw
00:47:54 Yeah.
00:47:57 Jonah see, Jonah do.
00:48:04 That is heavy, dude.
00:48:06 I am so sorry.
00:48:08 Well, that was more interesting
00:48:11 Jim: I shouldn't have
00:48:12 No, Jim, it's not
00:48:15 Besides, these are
00:48:17 you tell in places
00:48:19 to try and scare
00:48:22 The only difference is,
00:48:25 This one's real.
00:48:28 Cue the thunder
00:48:30 (laughing)
00:48:51 Ooh!
00:48:55 That's cool.
00:48:59 (clock ticking)
00:49:05 Steve.
00:49:07 (clock chiming)
00:49:09 Steve:
00:49:11 Jen: Grab a lantern
00:49:13 so we can see what
00:49:27 Come on.
00:49:29 - It won't reach.
00:49:31 Hey, grab that mirror.
00:49:38 Bounce this off it.
00:49:43 I don't see anything.
00:49:48 Jen: Okay, wait.
00:49:52 There's nothing in here.
00:49:54 Wait wait wait.
00:49:59 (Jen screams)
00:50:01 - What the...? No! Oh!
00:50:05 Cathy! Cathy!
00:50:07 Help! Help! Help!
00:50:08 (laughing hysterically)
00:50:10 Got you.
00:50:13 I couldn't help myself.
00:50:16 You looked like
00:50:18 Oh, my God.
00:50:21 Oh, man, you should have
00:50:23 First, you're all like, "Oh!"
00:50:25 And then you did, like, this great...
00:50:27 It was fucking killer.
00:50:29 Aw, you still really care.
00:50:31 After what you said back there
00:50:34 No, fuck you, Cathy.
00:50:36 And stay fucked
00:50:38 Well, I wouldn't call
00:50:41 including foreplay
00:50:44 Jim: What the hell
00:50:47 - (thunder rumbling)
00:50:50 - It's awesome.
00:50:52 Liz: Did you plan
00:50:53 - You were in on this.
00:50:59 And, you know,
00:51:02 I kinda figured she'd be better
00:51:05 So I just pulled her aside
00:51:08 Guilty.
00:51:11 Do you guys honestly
00:51:13 in the van by myself?
00:51:16 - So you planned this trip?
00:51:20 - Were you fucking in on this?
00:51:22 Calm down.
00:51:25 And coming to the Dark Ride
00:51:27 of your little prank?
00:51:30 You know,
00:51:32 to check it out.
00:51:34 But seriously,
00:51:36 my parents never let me
00:51:39 I never even went to their gravesite.
00:51:42 So, I don't know,
00:51:45 it's kind of like
00:51:48 But the flier...
00:51:50 I had that with me. That would have
00:51:53 It would have showed up
00:51:57 Jim: Jesus, Bill, that's
00:52:00 just to go
00:52:02 That rocked.
00:52:04 I'm so proud of you.
00:52:06 Well, your friend Steve here left me
00:52:09 a few months back
00:52:11 and found his dick inside
00:52:13 - This is about that?
00:52:16 Yes, it is
00:52:17 I know you don't think it's a big deal,
00:52:20 Jim: Steve, you had sex
00:52:21 Yeah, and she's not
00:52:23 Playing dead
00:52:25 - Jen: It was funny.
00:52:27 Cathy: Hey, you know
00:52:29 Don't hate the playa,
00:52:32 Oh, come on, Stevie.
00:52:34 You know how much
00:52:38 - Jeez.
00:52:41 - Cathy: Stop it!
00:52:43 - Lay off him!
00:52:45 You, you want
00:52:47 How many friends do you have now?
00:52:50 Well,
00:52:52 Lay off him. Stop.
00:52:54 I should have left you beating off
00:52:57 Bad joke.
00:52:59 Liz: Well, unless you
00:53:01 Is there anyone else
00:53:04 I'm done.
00:53:06 Dude, I would totally
00:53:08 if you did that
00:53:10 But you didn't,
00:53:12 I didn't know
00:53:14 Look at you coming out
00:53:18 Now that you're done,
00:53:20 This place
00:53:21 Jim:
00:53:24 - Okay.
00:53:35 Scared the shit out
00:53:38 - That was priceless.
00:53:40 That was so awesome.
00:53:43 I have a feeling
00:53:45 you're gonna need
00:53:48 Probably.
00:53:55 That's weird.
00:53:57 The door is locked.
00:53:59 Well, open it.
00:54:01 Well, I would, Elizabeth,
00:54:05 - from the outside.
00:54:09 I bet it was Steve.
00:54:11 Liz:
00:54:13 - Steve, please.
00:54:16 Please, come on.
00:54:21 She's apologizing, Steve.
00:54:24 (people screaming)
00:54:30 (maniacal laughter)
00:54:33 Jim: No, seriously,
00:54:36 I did a pretty shitty job
00:54:37 I'm not surprised that
00:54:40 I'll just go back down there
00:54:42 - You all stay right here.
00:54:44 I was thinking about
00:54:47 It's what I do
00:55:01 (indistinct voices whispering)
00:55:36 Jesus Christ, Jen, you almost
00:55:40 Your heart rate's not exactly
00:55:48 These 'shrooms are really
00:55:50 Yeah, I know.
00:55:51 Well, they were on
00:55:57 Maybe he's working on it.
00:55:59 I bet that little slut
00:56:02 Holy shit. I didn't even realize
00:56:05 Hey, did you see Steve,
00:56:09 Because I wanna grab him
00:56:12 Oh, really?
00:56:14 - Oh my God.
00:56:17 Don't you feel good?
00:56:19 We don't exactly
00:56:22 It's kind of awkward timing.
00:56:29 My timing is what
00:56:37 What about the others?
00:56:38 Couldn't find their way
00:56:42 But I heard them
00:56:44 Yeah, I think we should
00:56:46 their children games.
00:56:48 Besides, we have
00:56:51 Oh, God, I love you.
00:56:56 Excuse me...
00:56:59 just one moment.
00:57:02 - What are you gonna do?
00:57:04 (R&B music playing)
00:57:08 Just a little mood lighting,
00:57:10 a little mood music.
00:57:13 Sorry I don't
00:57:28 Oh, God.
00:57:30 Thank you.
00:57:36 - (electricity powering up and down)
00:57:38 I'm so done with him.
00:57:42 - What goes around comes around, right?
00:57:45 Sorry.
00:57:48 I can't see a thing.
00:57:52 Hey, Liz, watch out for the tracks.
00:57:55 Look, I don't know
00:57:56 but if we're gonna
00:57:58 we've gotta find
00:58:00 - Cathy: In the dark?
00:58:02 We could use
00:58:05 What's the concert method?
00:58:06 - (lighter clicks)
00:58:09 - Bill: Yeah.
00:58:19 (thunder crashes)
00:58:32 This is better.
00:58:37 Thanks.
00:59:01 (child laughing)
00:59:10 (creaking)
00:59:12 (man screaming)
00:59:24 (man screaming)
00:59:30 (doorbell rings)
00:59:32 (child laughing)
01:00:01 (child laughing)
01:00:16 Cathy: St-Steve?
01:00:33 - (screaming)
01:00:36 They keep screaming.
01:00:40 (pop music playing)
01:00:41 Oh, God,
01:00:44 They're just joking.
01:00:48 - Okay.
01:00:49 Oh, thank you.
01:01:05 I think we have to go,
01:01:09 We've gotta get help.
01:01:15 - Jim! Jim!
01:01:17 - (moaning)
01:01:19 (Bill screaming
01:01:24 What's going on?
01:01:28 Oh, Jen, you cannot leave me
01:01:30 It's unhealthy.
01:01:32 Jen, you're killing me.
01:01:34 Please. Thank you.
01:01:37 ?I think I'm going out
01:01:40 ? I think I'm going
01:01:42 ? I think I'm going out
01:01:45 - (kissing)
01:01:47 Oh, God,
01:01:50 Oh, God.
01:01:52 (moaning)
01:02:17 (Jen whimpers)
01:02:28 Come here.
01:02:36 What the fuck?
01:03:18 What the fuck?
01:03:21 Holy shit.
01:03:22 (crashes)
01:03:24 Come back.
01:03:27 Don't fucking leave me.
01:03:33 Oh, God!
01:03:37 Help me! Somebody
01:03:41 - (lock jiggling)
01:03:45 Somebody help me!
01:03:50 Oh, God.
01:04:01 (whimpering)
01:04:16 Oh, God.
01:04:20 (maniacal laughter)
01:04:27 (laughing continues)
01:04:29 - What?
01:04:31 - What?
01:04:48 - (screaming)
01:04:50 - Cathy.
01:04:53 All right, listen to me.
01:04:56 Shh, I lost it
01:04:58 Listen to me, all right?
01:05:02 I did.
01:05:04 We have to find a way
01:05:07 There has to be
01:05:09 or fire-code, something.
01:05:12 This is a fucking
01:05:14 for God's sakes.
01:05:22 Cathy:
01:05:37 - I'm too tired.
01:05:50 - No no no no. Where are you going?
01:05:54 Don't you get it?
01:05:56 I brought us here.
01:05:57 I have to go find
01:05:59 - Go get help!
01:06:15 Cathy!
01:06:21 Cath.
01:06:25 (Liz screams)
01:06:27 (Liz crying)
01:07:02 (maniacal laughter)
01:07:02 (maniacal laughter)
01:07:08 (loud creaking)
01:07:40 (sobbing)
01:08:50 (screaming)
01:08:54 That might be her!
01:08:56 Cathy:
01:08:58 (screaming)
01:09:08 (screaming)
01:09:11 (sobbing)
01:09:19 (bangs the door)
01:09:21 (thunder crashing)
01:10:03 (screaming)
01:10:28 (screaming)
01:10:42 (Liz whimpers)
01:10:47 (Liz screaming)
01:10:54 (crying)
01:11:06 (carnival music playing)
01:11:42 (blubbering)
01:12:14 Yeah, this is Reggie.
01:12:17 I'm at the northeast side
01:12:20 - requesting backup.
01:12:22 Reggie:
01:12:24 - that means you guys.
01:12:28 I got a report that there was some
01:12:31 I'm gonna go
01:12:33 Sounds good to me.
01:12:34 Well, by definition
01:12:36 I'm asking you
01:12:38 - Reinforcements are on the way.
01:13:05 Reggie:
01:13:07 This is security.
01:13:09 Anybody
01:13:11 Oh my God!
01:13:13 Reggie: Is anybody
01:13:16 Hello!
01:13:24 Oh my God, please...
01:13:26 Reggie:
01:13:40 God damn, girl,
01:13:44 All right, look,
01:13:45 everything's gonna be okay.
01:13:48 Come with me.
01:13:51 Just relax.
01:13:54 What are you
01:13:55 I told you, miss,
01:13:58 everything's
01:14:00 If you relax...
01:14:22 (screaming)
01:14:50 You'd better get over there
01:14:54 You got it.
01:15:08 (crying)
01:15:22 Wait, please.
01:15:45 Come on.
01:15:47 No!
01:15:51 (crying)
01:16:08 Oh my God!
01:16:50 Come on,
01:17:02 Jim!
01:17:06 Oh my God.
01:17:19 (maniacal laughter)
01:17:37 No! No!
01:17:57 (thunder rumbling)
01:18:01 (screaming)
01:18:01 (screaming)
01:18:05 (maniacal laughter)
01:18:07 (electricity powers down)
01:18:13 Cathy?
01:18:15 Cathy. Cathy.
01:18:17 Cathy, wake up.
01:18:19 Cath. Oh, shit.
01:18:30 - Bill: Jim.
01:18:40 Bill.
01:18:43 Dude, you're...
01:18:46 you're alive, man.
01:18:47 Are you okay?
01:18:50 Dude, I'm about as far from okay
01:18:53 I'm freaking out
01:18:56 You need to get us
01:18:59 Shh, it's over now.
01:19:02 I know. It's okay.
01:19:07 Is he dead?
01:19:10 Are you kidding me?
01:19:12 or an it, man.
01:19:14 We need to grab Cathy
01:19:17 Is she okay?
01:19:22 I mean,
01:19:24 I don't know.
01:19:31 Bill...
01:19:32 what are you
01:19:35 I could have sworn
01:19:37 How did you get away?
01:19:39 Are you kidding me, Jim?
01:19:42 I know this place like
01:19:47 Jim...
01:19:49 (stabbing sound)
01:19:51 How many friends
01:19:57 (grunts)
01:19:58 Revenge, huh?
01:20:01 Don't call it revenge.
01:20:03 Think of it as...
01:20:05 time-released justice.
01:20:10 Fuck you, assholes.
01:20:24 Well, Jim,
01:20:26 turns out that
01:20:29 Seems a boy's best friend
01:20:31 It's his older brother.
01:20:37 Each murder he committed
01:20:41 He wasn't just playing.
01:20:48 He was playing
01:20:51 Some monsters are harder
01:20:54 to recognize
01:20:57 (rain pattering)
01:20:57 (rain pattering)
01:21:01 (moans faintly)
01:22:06 Bill: Thanks for
01:22:26 (thunder rumbling)
01:22:47 (sirens wailing)
01:23:10 (eerie carnival music playing)