Deal The director Steven Schachter

en
00:00:33 I love this town.
00:00:38 It's a joke.
00:00:44 I love jokes.
00:00:52 For that matter...
00:00:54 my life's a joke.
00:00:56 Did you hear the one about
00:00:59 and the studio executive who
00:01:16 # Opera #
00:02:00 - Uncle Charlie!
00:02:02 I just got here now!
00:02:05 - This is a bad time, Lionel.
00:02:07 - What?
00:02:08 - I'm not well.
00:02:09 - What?
00:02:12 Oh, Jesus.
00:02:14 A rabbi, an undertaker,
00:02:17 walk into a bar!
00:02:20 - Hey! I tried to...
00:02:22 Did you know your
00:02:24 - Yeah, it's the...
00:02:25 - Mom says hi. She's
00:02:27 She wants you to
00:02:29 - I'm not alone.
00:02:31 You know what I mean?
00:02:33 - Oh!
00:02:35 Sorry. Got it.
00:02:36 - Yeah, she's...
00:02:37 Come back later.
00:02:39 - I did it. I did what I said,
00:02:43 - Great!
00:02:45 Yeah, it's about
00:02:47 and the Tariff Laws of 1876.
00:02:49 - This is great.
00:02:51 - Come back tomorrow.
00:02:54 Oh, OK.
00:02:55 Um, I can find a place.
00:02:59 - Good.
00:03:00 - What time?
00:03:01 - OK, I hope you like it.
00:03:04 They got pretty vicious, so...
00:03:06 OK.
00:03:16 # Opera #
00:03:28 - Fuck! Fuck! Motherfuck!
00:03:49 # Opera #
00:04:07 Wait a second.
00:04:08 A rabbi, a producer,
00:04:10 and a recently-converted
00:04:13 walk into a bar.
00:04:29 Now, that's funny.
00:04:41 Brad?
00:04:43 - Charlie, we have a--
00:04:45 - I just need 2 minutes.
00:04:46 - I'm going into a meeting.
00:04:48 - I'll see you in there.
00:04:50 - I was just talking about you.
00:04:53 - That's OK. You don't
00:04:55 I'm leaving the agency.
00:04:57 - Oh...
00:04:58 Charlie, that's bad news.
00:05:00 - You'll get over it.
00:05:02 - Probably for the best.
00:05:03 We really haven't
00:05:05 I can't help feeling
00:05:08 - I feel that way too.
00:05:09 Sign this for me, would you?
00:05:10 - What is it?
00:05:11 - It terminates our
00:05:13 - Any projects we need to--
00:05:15 - There are no projects.
00:05:16 You've never got me a job.
00:05:18 - Yeah.
00:05:19 How you been?
00:05:21 - I'm good.
00:05:22 Well, suicidal.
00:05:23 My nephew interrupted that,
00:05:24 and he gave me this
00:05:27 - Benjamin Disraeli?
00:05:30 - What happened to Tony Blair?
00:05:32 - You didn't hear?
00:05:35 - No, I'm just kidding you.
00:05:37 This was before Tony Blair.
00:05:39 I'm going to attach
00:05:42 - Ah! Ha ha! OK!
00:05:43 You go get 'em!
00:05:44 Let me show you out.
00:05:45 - Brad?
00:05:46 - You got something
00:05:55 - Hello there!
00:05:57 - Charlie Berns.
00:05:59 Are you here for the
00:06:02 - Actually, I'm here to
00:06:04 - Ah. Sit. Sit down.
00:06:05 - I'm making a movie
00:06:08 - Judaism?
00:06:10 - Based on the life
00:06:12 - Did you know that
00:06:14 to sit in the House
00:06:17 - No, I didn't know that.
00:06:19 That's why we want to bring
00:06:22 As sort of a technical advisor.
00:06:23 - Technical advisor?
00:06:25 - Associate producer
00:06:27 - Well, I'm a busy man.
00:06:28 The congregation, I'm on
00:06:31 I'm the Chairman of the
00:06:34 on Humanistic Revisionism.
00:06:36 We talking above the line here?
00:06:38 - Absolutely.
00:06:40 - Who's directing?
00:06:41 - Hasn't been set.
00:06:42 - Who do you have
00:06:45 - Well, in my wildest, let's be
00:06:48 and this is where
00:06:51 I'm thinking of
00:06:53 - Robin Williams.
00:06:56 - Farther against type.
00:06:58 -You've reached Steven
00:07:01 Leave a message.
00:07:02 - Steven, it's
00:07:04 I got word that you guys are
00:07:07 that Matt Damon is attached
00:07:09 to this Benjamin Disraeli
00:07:13 that I'm producing.
00:07:15 I don't know how this
00:07:17 - "First-time scribe
00:07:18 "Lionel Travitz options
00:07:21 - Don't believe
00:07:23 - "Exec producer
00:07:26 "Mason's manager re-confirms
00:07:28 "in projects with Jewish themes.
00:07:30 "Questions of circumcision
00:07:32 "were met with no comment."
00:07:33 I don't know, they seem
00:07:35 - Is this today's?
00:07:38 - "Mason chasin' Ben Dis"?
00:07:40 -What if the feeding frenzy
00:07:42 doesn't happen?
00:07:43 He does kung-fu.
00:07:44 - Lionel, you're
00:07:47 - He's an action star.
00:07:48 He's black.
00:07:50 Ben Disraeli was a
00:07:53 like, historical...
00:07:55 - Fuck me!
00:08:02 - Lionel, this is
00:08:05 It's a $100 million
00:08:09 You should have such problems.
00:08:12 - Hey, what about
00:08:15 - What do you know about a
00:08:18 - Nothing. I have a
00:08:21 - Who's Charlie Berns?
00:08:23 - Did a couple of
00:08:25 Broken Ringput
00:08:27 Best Picture nomination.
00:08:29 - Since then?
00:08:30 - Bunch of crap.
00:08:32 Last picture, 2000.
00:08:35 - Buy that script.
00:08:36 - Has anybody read it?
00:08:38 - It doesn't matter.
00:08:39 - Benjamin Disraeli?
00:08:42 - Deidre, just buy the script.
00:08:44 - Howard...
00:08:45 Could you close
00:08:48 Is it true the Canadians
00:08:51 - Whatever happens, you'll be
00:09:00 - What are those?
00:09:02 - From the wedding.
00:09:03 - Whose wedding?
00:09:05 It was really nice.
00:09:08 It was at Phyllis'
00:09:10 Everyone was asking about you.
00:09:14 - What's his name?
00:09:15 - Tim?
00:09:17 - Tim.
00:09:19 - Good guy.
00:09:28 -You're a tough man
00:09:30 - New phone system.
00:09:32 - Can I get your cell?
00:09:34 - Don't really carry one.
00:09:36 - Hmm.
00:09:38 How do I get a hold of you?
00:09:41 - He's not really
00:09:42 I thought we could just wrap
00:09:45 - Wrap what up?
00:09:47 Bill and Ben.
00:09:49 - I don't have a script.
00:09:53 - This is the English Disraeli?
00:09:55 18-whatever?
00:09:57 - Yeah.
00:09:59 - We'll tailor the script for
00:10:02 - Mr. Berns...
00:10:04 We could date.
00:10:07 - I'm not sure what
00:10:09 that you think we
00:10:11 - That's a really
00:10:14 Bobby's got a window of about 5
00:10:17 So we've got to really
00:10:19 - I can't OK a script
00:10:21 - It doesn't matter
00:10:23 it's a Bobby Mason picture.
00:10:25 - Well, Charlie,
00:10:27 we have a procedure here,
00:10:29 I need to read the script and
00:10:32 Then I'll make a
00:10:34 and then we'll put that
00:10:37 and we'll do that as quickly
00:10:41 - You are so good
00:10:43 - Thank you.
00:10:45 - A lot of people,
00:10:47 are really bitter and angry
00:10:51 the powerlessness
00:10:53 But you have a lot of dignity,
00:10:54 and I really like that.
00:10:56 Thanks for talking to me.
00:10:58 - So you'll send me the script?
00:11:00 - Oh, now you're just
00:11:06 - Wow.
00:11:07 # Smooth vocal jazz #
00:11:09 And then he say
00:11:12 And with this little
00:11:14 he says my job is useless,
00:11:16 I'm powerless,
00:11:17 and nobody gives
00:11:20 Which is true, but I can't
00:11:23 And I'm angry and bitter
00:11:27 Can you turn that shit down?
00:11:30 Hello?
00:11:31 Oh, yeah. Hello, Howard.
00:11:34 Yes, I met with him today.
00:11:39 What? Well, why?
00:11:41 I told him we were interested.
00:11:43 Well, I just thought that
00:11:46 Howard, I'll do it first
00:11:50 OK.
00:11:51 OK, I'm going to do it tonight.
00:11:53 All right, thank you, Howard.
00:11:59 - Dinner in two minutes!
00:12:10 - Excuse me!
00:12:12 - Hi!
00:12:15 Hi! I'm looking for Charlie Berns.
00:12:17 - He's asleep.
00:12:19 Are you with
00:12:21 - No, I'm from the studio.
00:12:23 - Oh! Uh, right!
00:12:26 Um, hi.
00:12:28 I'm Lionel Travitz.
00:12:29 - Nice to meet you.
00:12:32 - Writer. I wrote Bill and Ben.
00:12:35 - Well, good for you.
00:12:37 Can I get a clean copy
00:12:40 - Yeah. Sure.
00:12:42 Um, yeah.
00:12:43 - Well, I hate to wake
00:12:46 but it's important.
00:12:47 Could you...
00:12:48 - I'm awake.
00:12:50 - Uh, it's just right
00:12:53 And then in the hallway.
00:12:57 - Down the hall!
00:12:59 I'm in the back!
00:13:02 You're getting warm!
00:13:04 You didn't bring
00:13:07 - Sorry.
00:13:08 - I have pants on.
00:13:10 - Fascinating.
00:13:11 - No, I'm telling you that so
00:13:14 - Thank you.
00:13:15 Listen, I told you
00:13:17 Why did you take it
00:13:18 - Oh, don't get all
00:13:20 I played your boss, not you.
00:13:22 Your studio's going
00:13:25 He's got to go to the board
00:13:26 with the new Bobby Mason picture
00:13:28 I just nudged him.
00:13:30 I tried to nudge you,
00:13:31 but you're not nudgeable.
00:13:35 I'm a Wily Coyote.
00:13:37 I put a deal memo together
00:13:44 - You're a bargain!
00:13:46 - My fee's
00:13:47 put I do have you
00:13:48 The budget's $100 mil,
00:13:50 I don't know what
00:13:55 - There's a tree in your pool.
00:13:56 - California Pepper.
00:13:58 - It's a Jacaranda.
00:14:00 - Here's a clean
00:14:02 - No, no, no.
00:14:03 - Thank you so much.
00:14:05 - You can't see that.
00:14:06 - For me.
00:14:07 - No. Thank you, Lionel.
00:14:13 Lionel...
00:14:17 So, when do we start shooting?
00:14:20 - We can't make a movie
00:14:22 - Wait, I didn't want to
00:14:25 but I hired a new writer.
00:14:26 You'll have a script
00:14:29 - Couple of days?
00:14:31 - I have to pee.
00:14:32 And I wasn't completely
00:14:35 - I'll see myself out.
00:14:37 - OK, tell 'em to call me.
00:14:39 - OK.
00:14:41 - How are they going
00:14:46 How are they going
00:14:49 if you don't have a phone?
00:14:51 - You are one sharp cookie.
00:14:54 Tell them, I'll call them.
00:15:07 - Are they going to make it?
00:15:09 - Oh, yeah.
00:15:13 - Hey, where's my script?
00:15:16 What's this?
00:15:17 Six Days of Darkness?
00:15:21 - I like that girl.
00:15:28 - Fuck you!
00:15:30 - How's it coming, Wing?
00:15:32 - The script? Yeah, OK.
00:15:34 - Let me read a couple
00:15:36 - OK.
00:15:37 Next time, huh?
00:15:40 OK, weapons expert,
00:15:42 he go off deep end in Desert
00:15:46 - That's good.
00:15:47 - Chick operative,
00:15:49 Drive tank and give
00:15:52 - I'm lovin' it!
00:15:53 - Picture Beirut.
00:15:57 -Bill and Ben?
00:15:58 - It's an indie.
00:16:00 Beautifully-written.
00:16:02 - Bobby Mason?
00:16:03 - It's William Gladstone
00:16:05 debating tariff laws in
00:16:08 during the reign
00:16:09 - Bobby likes it?
00:16:11 - Bobby hasn't read it.
00:16:13 It's his rabbi.
00:16:14 He's Jewish now.
00:16:15 - Make it work!
00:16:16 I'm going into the boardroom
00:16:18 and announcing that we're making
00:16:23 So make it work!
00:16:31 - Bobby cannot do
00:16:33 Bobby Mason
00:16:34 He kicks, he flips,
00:16:37 he beats people up.
00:16:38 I mean, what is this?
00:16:39 "I was not blind
00:16:41 "to the worldly advantages
00:16:43 "I found you as I thought."
00:16:45 What is that?
00:16:47 - How about a
00:16:49 This is what happens
00:16:50 when people take things
00:16:53 Tomorrow, you will have
00:16:55 on your desk.
00:16:57 He will kick, he will flip,
00:16:59 he will kill people,
00:17:00 and everyone will love it.
00:17:02 - Why are you doing this?
00:17:04 - For fun.
00:17:05 We're in the
00:17:07 I'm entertaining myself.
00:17:08 What else are
00:17:09 Get all depressed and suck on
00:17:13 - Argh...
00:17:15 - Deidre?
00:17:17 Are you sleeping with anyone?
00:17:18 - Excuse me?
00:17:20 - It's just...
00:17:21 I haven't had sex
00:17:23 - Oh...
00:17:25 I get it. You're shocking.
00:17:27 Well, I'm not surprised you
00:17:30 because you're also
00:17:33 - Are you?
00:17:38 - I am engaged to be married.
00:17:41 He is a corporate lawyer.
00:17:44 A gourmet chef.
00:17:45 He's got a terrific dick
00:17:47 and he really knows
00:17:49 What else can I
00:17:53 - Wow.
00:17:54 - Wow exactly.
00:18:11 - I'm just saying I could've
00:18:14 I could've taken your notes.
00:18:16 - Lionel, listen to me.
00:18:17 You've already done the
00:18:20 You've got your name on
00:18:23 Relax. Enjoy the ride.
00:18:24 - But I'm just saying--
00:18:26 - Let me put it
00:18:28 Think of yourself as the
00:18:31 You decide where the nave
00:18:33 but you don't actually paint
00:18:35 You get a craftsman to do that.
00:18:37 - What if I don't like the
00:18:39 - You'll like 'em, trust me.
00:18:41 - That's cool.
00:18:42 - Yeah. That's what
00:18:45 Our name on a parking space.
00:18:47 Hun, how was work?
00:18:51 - Wow, it's cool.
00:18:54 - Easy, big fella.
00:18:56 - Oh, the executive suite!
00:18:57 - Who are you?
00:18:59 - I'm Catherine Oxenmoor.
00:19:00 I've been assigned to you
00:19:03 till you get your own secretary.
00:19:05 - Oh.
00:19:06 - I started yesterday.
00:19:07 - What have you been doing?
00:19:09 - Lionel, go to the commissary.
00:19:12 - Hi.
00:19:13 - It's just across
00:19:15 Get us some
00:19:17 - This is very cool,
00:19:19 - Deidre Hearn has been
00:19:22 Should I ring her?
00:19:24 - No. I'll need
00:19:27 Get one to Deidre Hearn.
00:19:29 That young fella who left,
00:19:31 - Who is that?
00:19:33 - Shall I get
00:19:35 - No.
00:19:36 - Um, where are you going?
00:19:38 - To get some coffee.
00:19:40 - Didn't you send
00:19:43 - Good coffee.
00:19:46 - They dropped off these forms
00:19:48 for office furniture.
00:19:50 You can choose Southwestern,
00:19:54 Oriental, Mexican...
00:19:56 - You decide.
00:19:58 - Yes.
00:20:00 Shit!
00:20:01 - What?
00:20:02 - Would you pull on that
00:20:08 A little lower...
00:20:11 Thank you.
00:20:12 Tell Lionel I'll see him later.
00:20:14 - Who's Lionel?
00:20:15 - The writer.
00:20:24 Very sexy!
00:20:25 - Excuse me?
00:20:27 - What is wrong with you?
00:20:31 - Is that the V-series?
00:20:35 This is a cell phone.
00:20:36 Use it.
00:20:37 - This is a gift for me?
00:20:40 - Seriously?
00:20:41 - Oh!
00:20:42 This is Peter and Paul.
00:20:44 They're our new writers.
00:20:46 I thought we should have them
00:20:48 Guys, Deidre Hearn
00:20:50 - Hi.
00:20:52 Charlie, can we talk?
00:20:53 There isn't going
00:20:55 The script has gone from
00:20:58 arthouse film to--
00:20:59 - Action-adventure?
00:21:00 - It is crass, vulgar,
00:21:02 anti-Semitic, anti-Arab,
00:21:03 anti-Muslim, sexist--
00:21:05 - Pile of dogshit! That's
00:21:09 - We are not sending this
00:21:12 - We already did.
00:21:13 That's why we're
00:21:17 OK guys, let's
00:21:19 Come on!
00:21:26 - OK, so, Ben Disraeli,
00:21:29 Mind if I just jump in there?
00:21:31 Should we wait for Bobby?
00:21:32 - A little cart
00:21:34 Bobby doesn't do meetings.
00:21:36 - I thought it was
00:21:38 - This is the new draft.
00:21:39 - I'm sorry, Rabbi.
00:21:41 My assistant didn't get the new
00:21:44 - I'm only the
00:21:46 - Associate.
00:21:47 - We all know a Bobby Mason
00:21:49 and we get some pretty
00:21:51 but Deidre,
00:21:54 No way we'll do this.
00:21:57 - Paul and I
00:21:59 There are some
00:22:01 - Can I trouble you
00:22:04 - Mark, it was premature
00:22:07 It needs a lot of work.
00:22:09 There was a
00:22:13 - So the Arabs have the
00:22:15 What if instead,
00:22:17 like something from
00:22:20 Rabbi, help me out.
00:22:21 - Don't ask me, I wasn't
00:22:24 - I know Bobby's been on this
00:22:27 - None taken.
00:22:28 - Bobby is looking
00:22:30 and we are
00:22:33 and it is a daunting task.
00:22:38 - Guys, I don't know. I'm not a
00:22:41 Like here, there's a big action
00:22:45 but then you need a rest.
00:22:46 And if there's ever
00:22:49 again, I'm not a writer,
00:22:51 but page 36, joke.
00:22:53 I'd think that would be
00:22:57 - Two Jews are shopping
00:23:01 You tell this.
00:23:03 She tells this so well.
00:23:06 Come on, hon.
00:23:09 - So, that went well,
00:23:12 - It did. You can
00:23:14 They need to start
00:23:16 - What?
00:23:17 - Hold on one second.
00:23:20 - It went well.
00:23:21 I'm gonna have to let
00:23:24 Very intuitive.
00:23:25 - You want to fill me in?
00:23:28 We'll have a script
00:23:29 - He's a manager.
00:23:31 - Yeah, but he
00:23:33 Meet me at the Sky Bar.
00:23:34 - Why?
00:23:35 We're making a movie!
00:23:39 Crap!
00:23:46 Well, yahoo yahoo!
00:23:49 We are a go!
00:23:51 They're going to start rolling
00:23:54 You doing your laundry?
00:23:55 - This is not
00:23:58 In fact, there's not a word of
00:24:02 - There's got to be one.
00:24:03 - No. You betrayed me.
00:24:05 This is garbage! And I don't
00:24:07 - You're just saying that
00:24:10 and because you got taste.
00:24:11 But don't take
00:24:13 No name, no residuals. Trust me.
00:24:15 - Trust you?
00:24:18 Fuck you!
00:24:19 Everyone warned me
00:24:22 But it's not Hollywood, it's not
00:24:26 and it's people like you!
00:24:27 I spent 2 years on this script!
00:24:29 I wrote and I re-wrote it,
00:24:31 and I didn't stop
00:24:33 and this is what you do?
00:24:36 - Deidre Hearn
00:24:38 And she's smart.
00:24:39 Keep writing.
00:24:40 All this idealism,
00:24:42 if it works for you.
00:24:44 Write the truth.
00:24:45 Extol the virtues
00:24:46 But Mom better be 20 years old
00:24:48 - There you go.
00:24:50 - You want to explore the
00:24:52 of humankind, you go for it.
00:24:54 But you better blow
00:24:57 - Take my name off
00:25:01 Shit!
00:25:50 - Sweet mother of God,
00:25:53 - No, this is autumn.
00:25:55 Summertime hot.
00:25:56 - When the terrorists
00:25:58 and the camels start to run--
00:25:59 - Camels? No camels.
00:26:01 - It says it the script--
00:26:02 - I don't work
00:26:04 If you want to make a movie
00:26:07 No camels!
00:26:08 - This is good. I like.
00:26:10 - We can shoot in
00:26:12 Here we have the nuclear power
00:26:15 - Beautiful! We shoot
00:26:18 - This is the Table Mountain.
00:26:19 You don't have a
00:26:24 - Two minutes, guys,
00:26:27 - Nazi idiot!
00:26:29 - Charlie, we got a
00:26:31 - We've searched fruitlessly
00:26:34 - We cannot shoot but in
00:26:37 - Is there any difference in
00:26:40 - Nah, 6 of one.
00:26:41 - Call it, Levy.
00:26:43 - It's not a joke,
00:26:45 - OK, you're heads.
00:26:46 Tails. Hans wins.
00:26:47 - Not funny, Charlie.
00:26:50 - Be a sport. Maybe
00:26:53 - I can't work like this!
00:26:55 - Are you quitting?
00:26:56 Levy, what's the name
00:26:57 of that Australian director
00:26:59 The one who won.
00:27:00 - Soundman, not the director!
00:27:02 - The year you were nominated
00:27:10 - Nightmare! Nightmare!
00:27:12 - You guys look exhausted.
00:27:13 Listen, Levy, Fiona Hicks.
00:27:15 I've worked out the dates with
00:27:19 so can I book?
00:27:20 - It's all shadow.
00:27:22 Ask her to Polaroid her body,
00:27:25 - I can't ask her to do that.
00:27:27 - She have nice tits?
00:27:28 I assume so.
00:27:29 - Call her agent and book her.
00:27:31 Then have the art department
00:27:34 onto a nice body
00:27:35 - Boss, these are for you.
00:27:36 - No, you answer them all,
00:27:38 or just throw them away.
00:27:40 - Mr. Bern's office.
00:27:41 Just a moment.
00:27:43 - You're my assistant.
00:27:45 - Your L.A. assistant,
00:27:47 - I have an L.A. assistant?
00:27:48 Hello?
00:27:49 Did I get the swatches?
00:27:50 - What are swatches?
00:27:52 - Yeah, I got 'em.
00:27:54 You decide. Whatever
00:27:56 Just not Mexican.
00:27:58 I hate Mexican.
00:27:59 # Mexican music #
00:28:02 - Mr. Berns, dinner
00:28:06 and rescheduled
00:28:09 - Good. What dinner?
00:28:10 - With the studio executive.
00:28:12 - She's coming tonight?
00:28:14 - Is she staying at my hotel?
00:28:17 - Tell Andrei and Levy I'll
00:28:20 Keep the reservation for 2.
00:28:22 Put some flowers in her room.
00:28:24 - Yes, sir.
00:28:25 - And a nice bottle of wine.
00:28:28 - Charlie, Danny Turner.
00:28:31 How are you?
00:28:33 You about two weeks out?
00:28:35 - Good evening, sir.
00:28:36 - Grey Goose martini,
00:28:38 Thanks for the
00:28:41 - Who are you?
00:28:42 - Dan Turner.
00:28:44 - Where's Deidre Hearn?
00:28:46 Look, it's no secret I'm
00:28:48 - Deidre Hearn isn't coming?
00:28:50 - No, you're stuck with me.
00:28:52 - Could you excuse yourself?
00:28:54 - Excuse me?
00:28:55 - Could I...
00:28:56 - I want to have dinner here,
00:28:58 but I don't want
00:29:00 - I'm sorry I came
00:29:03 about the script,
00:29:04 - No, the script's
00:29:06 It's just that I don't want
00:29:10 Don't worry, I'll
00:29:14 Howard Draper, please.
00:29:16 Could you give Howard a message?
00:29:18 It's Charlie Berns calling from
00:29:23 Tell him Bobby--
00:29:24 That's all right. Disraeli.
00:29:26 Tell him Bobby Mason
00:29:28 that Deidre Hearn be assigned to
00:29:32 He says it's a deal breaker.
00:29:34 Yes, I would call
00:29:41 - Thank you for flying
00:29:43 - Thank you. You guys
00:29:45 Hey! Who do you think you are?
00:29:49 Howard Draper is not
00:29:52 And if he weren't in
00:29:54 you would be so gone!
00:29:55 - Welcome to Cape Town,
00:29:57 mother city of South Africa.
00:29:58 - Where am I staying?
00:30:00 - What hotel?
00:30:02 - I want to stay at
00:30:04 - OK.
00:30:05 - I'm engaged.
00:30:06 - Yes, you told me
00:30:08 He's got a very talented cock.
00:30:10 Can I help you with that?
00:30:12 - No, get away.
00:30:13 - I mean, if you're
00:30:16 shit, might as well go home.
00:30:18 - Oh...
00:30:20 So this is why I
00:30:22 Why I had to rearrange
00:30:25 because you thought
00:30:27 Well, tough luck, pal.
00:30:29 I'm here and I'm staying.
00:30:30 There's a new sheriff in town
00:30:32 and I'm going to
00:30:35 Next time, try thinking
00:30:38 Ah! Are you smiling?
00:30:40 What are you smiling about?
00:30:42 - Nothing. I'm relieved,
00:30:45 - About what?
00:30:46 - For a bit there,
00:30:47 I thought you weren't
00:30:49 I bring out a
00:30:51 and you brought up
00:30:53 Plus, you referenced my penis.
00:30:55 I can't do tricks
00:30:59 Wait, where you going? Hold on.
00:31:02 OK, don't hurt yourself.
00:31:12 - Oh, dammit!
00:31:16 Where the hell am I going?
00:31:18 - I'm not telling!
00:31:20 Ha ha!
00:31:21 - Temple on fire,
00:31:23 Bobby run through columns,
00:31:25 Pow! Pow!
00:31:26 Camera track,
00:31:29 Bad guy leap in front of Bobby,
00:31:32 Bobby kick bad guy.
00:31:35 Bad guy! Boom!
00:31:37 Bobby jump, swing over fire.
00:31:42 Gets Torah.
00:31:44 Bobby see girl.
00:31:46 Wounded, unconscious,
00:31:49 Bobby pick up girl.
00:31:51 Bobby, girl, and Torah run.
00:31:53 Bobby, run, run...
00:31:55 Big explosion! Boom!
00:31:58 Temple destroyed.
00:31:59 All one shot.
00:32:02 - I shoot in pieces.
00:32:03 - No coverage.
00:32:06 My signature shot.
00:32:07 - I got a ballpark from
00:32:10 This one shot
00:32:11 - Can't we build it in Prague?
00:32:13 We got that government fund
00:32:16 - No Fiona. She's only boarded
00:32:18 It's a lot of
00:32:20 - Deidre?
00:32:23 - Um...
00:32:26 This is not my
00:32:29 - But what does
00:32:33 - Well, it is an action movie,
00:32:36 and action is pretty
00:32:41 So...
00:32:43 - I think Deidre is absolutely
00:32:44 Hey Levy, you won one!
00:32:47 - Way to go, mate.
00:32:49 - Sorry Hans, missed that.
00:32:54 - Don't ever do
00:32:56 - What?
00:32:57 - Put me on the
00:32:59 - I was trying
00:33:00 I thought you'd like to
00:33:03 being a woman and all.
00:33:04 - I know you're trying to be
00:33:07 Let's finish the studio notes.
00:33:08 - Go ahead.
00:33:09 - No, sit. These are important
00:33:14 OK, we did these...
00:33:15 - Would you like
00:33:17 - No, thank you.
00:33:18 The studio is concerned
00:33:20 Fuck scenes between people
00:33:23 can be offensive to--
00:33:27 - I'm sorry. This is my job.
00:33:29 - Is it all right if they ride
00:33:32 - Yes, as long as she
00:33:37 Wait a minute, what is that?
00:33:38 Is there another
00:33:41 - No, those are Bobby's.
00:33:42 Bobby's pop-out, Bobby's gym,
00:33:47 - Ah... prissy.
00:33:53 Well, of course.
00:33:55 I have to call Howard,
00:33:59 - Why? What's going on?
00:34:01 - They sold the studio
00:34:11 - Hey, it's the grand poobah!
00:34:14 The big cheese!
00:34:16 - Hey, did you
00:34:18 I am starting a...
00:34:21 - A bold, exciting new--
00:34:22 - A bold exciting new
00:34:25 - Well, congratulations.
00:34:28 - Don't you worry, a door
00:34:31 - Hopefully not
00:34:36 - Good night, everyone.
00:34:37 - Ah, don't you look
00:34:40 Would you like to
00:34:43 - I would love to.
00:34:44 - Great.
00:34:46 Fresh meat to lay my troubles on.
00:34:50 So, you're losing your job.
00:34:52 - No, but I'm going to.
00:34:53 If Howard goes, I go.
00:34:56 Oh. I'd like a
00:34:59 with a twist.
00:35:00 And here's the twist.
00:35:02 I'd like a double.
00:35:04 - Yes, ma'am.
00:35:06 Yeah, CGC bought the
00:35:09 So here's my question.
00:35:11 I am a team player.
00:35:14 And yet still,
00:35:16 I am hanging onto Howard
00:35:20 I am draped on Draper.
00:35:23 He'll take care of me though.
00:35:25 Yeah.
00:35:27 - Oh yeah.
00:35:28 - Good evening.
00:35:31 - Ah!
00:35:32 You're a little bit early.
00:35:35 Deidre, this is...
00:35:36 - Gabriella.
00:35:37 - I was told it was only--
00:35:39 - Yes. I'm not going
00:35:41 I've got that phone
00:35:43 - Thank you very much.
00:35:45 - I'll do a 3-way with
00:35:47 - No, change of plans.
00:35:49 - You still pay one hour.
00:35:55 - Take my card.
00:35:57 - I'm going to walk away,
00:35:58 I'm going to say,
00:36:01 and you say, "Thank you."
00:36:03 I'll call him later tonight.
00:36:06 - Thank you.
00:36:07 - Who was that?
00:36:09 - Oh, Peter, my driver.
00:36:12 - That can't be
00:36:14 - That's his daughter. She wants
00:36:16 I gave her a number.
00:36:18 But you were going
00:36:23 - Were you ever married?
00:36:25 - Repeatedly.
00:36:27 But that is not my question.
00:36:29 Are you having any fun?
00:36:30 That is my question,
00:36:33 I mean, I would
00:36:37 You have no integrity.
00:36:39 - Thank you.
00:36:41 - I have to take
00:36:45 Hmm.
00:36:46 OK, give it back.
00:36:50 If I sleep with you,
00:36:53 - No.
00:36:56 - Pff...
00:37:03 - Charlie?
00:37:05 Charlie, it's Andrei!
00:37:11 - Oh!
00:37:14 - I tried to call you!
00:37:17 - This better be good.
00:37:19 - I'm so sorry, boss.
00:37:20 Bobby's here. He wants
00:37:35 Evening, Rabbi.
00:37:36 - Charlie, any chance of
00:37:40 My room's a little small, and--
00:37:42 - No.
00:37:44 - Hey!
00:37:46 - Charlie Berns.
00:37:48 - How you doing?
00:37:51 - Check this out.
00:37:54 Crew hats.
00:37:58 Just want to make sure you're
00:38:00 It's real important to me.
00:38:03 Team-building.
00:38:04 You gotta pass the ball.
00:38:07 Excuse me, I gotta hit the rack.
00:38:10 Woo! Fantastic!
00:38:11 - Is this what you wanted
00:38:14 - I got questions about the
00:38:16 I'm excited about this one.
00:38:29 - He said it was important.
00:38:37 - Thank you.
00:38:45 - No, I'm sorry.
00:38:47 You know, I really
00:38:50 So I just believe
00:38:52 a very professional
00:38:55 Good night, Charlie.
00:38:59 - Good night.
00:39:14 - Oh, yes.
00:39:15 - You have room to move?
00:39:18 - Hello?
00:39:20 - Hey! We're
00:39:21 Fiona, this is Deidre
00:39:24 - Lovely to meet you.
00:39:25 - Thank you for doing
00:39:27 - Oh, thank you.
00:39:28 I've got a bit of a concern.
00:39:30 In 127, after the
00:39:32 and we're scrambling about,
00:39:34 it says I catch my
00:39:37 Now I'm not a prude,
00:39:38 you understand, and
00:39:41 but it does seem
00:39:43 that the uniform
00:39:46 See what I mean?
00:39:47 - You have a point.
00:39:49 - It's a little obvious.
00:39:52 - Charlie Berns.
00:39:54 - We met in London.
00:39:55 - Oh yeah, at the...
00:39:57 - We were just talking.
00:39:58 - Excuse me.
00:40:00 I just don't want
00:40:02 - The way it rips off.
00:40:05 - Excuse me, Charlie,
00:40:07 - Yeah. No, it
00:40:09 - Oh good.
00:40:10 - Any way you
00:40:12 is OK with me.
00:40:14 - Right. OK...
00:40:16 Well, I have an idea.
00:40:17 - Do you?
00:40:19 - I'm looking right
00:40:25 Well, they're furious.
00:40:27 They want to know
00:40:28 other executive producers
00:40:35 - Guys, Bobby needs to see
00:40:38 He's pretty upset.
00:40:40 - What do you think? Monogrammed
00:40:44 - Oy vey Maria!
00:40:49 So what are you saying? It's too
00:40:53 - No, you're missing my point.
00:40:54 There isn't any guy who gets his
00:40:57 who's not a major sleazebag.
00:40:59 A terrorist,
00:41:01 anybody against freedom.
00:41:02 Who wrote this shit?
00:41:05 Plus, you got me running
00:41:09 - Fuck a Uzi.
00:41:10 - This guy's slammin'
00:41:12 into this jeep!
00:41:13 - You need that Mauser M80.
00:41:15 - Shut the fuck up!
00:41:16 This is about 2,000 years
00:41:18 There's got to be more Jewish
00:41:21 Am I right, Rabbi?
00:41:22 - Well, I would--
00:41:24 - I don't disagree.
00:41:25 - And the chick, Fiona Hicks.
00:41:27 Is that a Jewish name, Rabbi?
00:41:29 - I have no idea.
00:41:33 - And what shit-ass
00:41:36 the biggest scene
00:41:38 we shoot it on
00:41:41 - I'm that shit-ass, Bobby.
00:41:42 But here's what
00:41:44 - Andrei, I think I can
00:41:46 Bobby, you're obviously nervous
00:41:48 because we start
00:41:50 and you probably feel foolish
00:41:51 that you didn't read the
00:41:54 You're worried you're
00:41:56 But everybody knows that
00:41:58 and it's just not
00:42:00 This is nothing but insecurity,
00:42:02 which is completely
00:42:04 given the grosses
00:42:06 So here's what
00:42:08 You'll show up, on time, you'll
00:42:11 you'll say the lines as written,
00:42:13 or we'll sue your ass!
00:42:14 And all those Bobby
00:42:16 you've managed to keep out of
00:42:19 We all have things to do.
00:42:21 What time's his call?
00:42:23 - Good. Learn your lines and
00:42:29 Oh, and for whatever it's worth,
00:42:31 I think you're absolutely right,
00:42:33 I'm going to fire the writer.
00:42:44 Wow, OK...
00:42:46 - What was that tough shit,
00:42:49 - Yup. I'd say all of that.
00:42:51 - Are they following us?
00:42:54 - He's not going to show up.
00:42:56 - He'll show up.
00:42:57 - He'll show up.
00:42:59 - I wouldn't bet on it.
00:43:01 - I will.
00:43:02 - How much?
00:43:03 - We pick it up in the shower,
00:43:06 - 100 bucks.
00:43:08 - Andrei, you want
00:43:10 - Thank you.
00:43:11 - No, I meant of the bet.
00:43:13 Well, I don't want it now!
00:43:15 - 100 bucks.
00:43:24 What time is it?
00:43:30 - 5:28.
00:43:31 - Morning!
00:43:33 Hate to bother you with this,
00:43:34 but the director
00:43:36 Of course not,
00:43:38 - The scene this afternoon.
00:43:40 When... the black chap.
00:43:42 - Bobby Mason.
00:43:43 - When he says,
00:43:45 "Ambassador, if I ever
00:43:48 "then my life don't mean shit,"
00:43:51 what exactly is he referring to?
00:43:53 - He's referring to the
00:43:57 - Then what is his relationship
00:44:00 - He is one. He's Jewish.
00:44:05 - Oh, it does make
00:44:07 Thank you so much. Cheers.
00:44:11 Morning!
00:44:12 - It's 5:30.
00:44:14 Pay up.
00:44:15 - Excuse me, these
00:44:18 The salmon was flown in
00:44:21 - Bobby's here?
00:44:22 - He's been here since 5:00.
00:44:24 He's running lines.
00:44:25 He's running lines.you.
00:44:28 What's that phrase, uh...
00:44:30 Oh yeah. I told you so.
00:44:34 - And here we go, and rolling!
00:44:38 Weapons hot, and camera!
00:44:49 - Move! Come on! Go!
00:44:54 Stay low!
00:44:58 - Ben, you're bleeding!
00:45:03 - On my count, I'm going
00:45:06 I want you to get
00:45:08 OK. Ready?
00:45:16 Go! Go!
00:45:21 - Cut!
00:45:26 - Was that me?
00:45:30 - Come on!
00:45:37 - Come on!
00:45:38 Who is she? Is she a model?
00:45:41 This is an action movie.
00:45:43 We must stop and re-cast.
00:45:45 It's not fashion TV, man!
00:45:47 This is impossible!
00:45:49 I'm telling you, she throws
00:45:51 - Let's give Rolf a few moments
00:45:54 - Keep this arm straight.
00:45:56 I thought the
00:45:59 - Now you're directing! Shh!
00:46:02 Coffee!
00:46:05 - And stretch!
00:46:08 - Are you coming back, Levy?
00:46:14 - Don't run after me!
00:46:17 - 127 apple, take 5.
00:46:22 127 apple, take 9.
00:46:32 127 apple, take 19.
00:46:40 Take 22.
00:46:45 127 apple, take 23.
00:46:53 - Cut!
00:47:00 -Ladies and gentlemen,
00:47:04 Thanks be to God.
00:47:07 - And Steven is the most
00:47:12 - Really!
00:47:13 - Of course Mel Brooks likes to
00:47:16 - Uncle Charlie?
00:47:19 - I hired him.
00:47:21 - Can I talk to
00:47:23 - He's a terrific little writer.
00:47:25 He just has to
00:47:27 and up the Jewish for Bobby.
00:47:28 - Yeah, whatever.
00:47:30 Are you going to
00:47:32 - No.
00:47:33 - Are you sure? That's
00:47:35 - I'm sure.
00:47:37 - You understand the question?
00:47:41 - Uh, how did it go?
00:47:44 - You're good.
00:47:46 - Deidre, I'm so sorry.
00:47:47 I feel like a fool.
00:47:49 - Don't worry. Do you
00:47:52 - Oh, the writer!
00:47:54 Well, um, bravo.
00:47:55 - Well, I'm more the architect.
00:47:58 - Oh, Hans!
00:48:00 We have to talk
00:48:03 - Wow, it's an
00:48:05 How did your first day go?
00:48:07 - Not particularly well.
00:48:10 - Well, you are a girl.
00:48:12 - And I sport a black,
00:48:14 Care to join me
00:48:16 - Uh, sure.
00:48:19 Nice hat.
00:48:21 Oh, thanks.
00:48:23 - Oh, I love L.A.
00:48:26 - Pull the scrim!
00:48:27 I don't care if it's broken.
00:48:32 Levy, we got a
00:48:35 - Get me coffee.
00:48:36 - Terrorist number 2 has
00:48:38 - I don't give a shit.
00:48:40 - He does. He's stuck
00:48:41 - There's a giant hole.
00:48:44 - Need to say something.
00:48:45 I've been chasing this
00:48:48 I need to say something.
00:48:49 How about,
00:48:52 - A spiritual dimension.
00:48:54 - Yeah, a wisdom thing.
00:48:55 These are my people.
00:48:57 From Moses to Moishe.
00:48:59 That's a good line.
00:49:01 - Rabbi, what could we do to
00:49:04 - This script?
00:49:05 You could circumcise it,
00:49:07 it wouldn't be Jewish.
00:49:10 - That's the
00:49:12 - Say a barucha
00:49:14 - I like that.
00:49:16 No, not there!
00:49:17 - You're the writer,
00:49:20 - Hey, shut the fuck up.
00:49:22 You're the writer, write!
00:49:23 - OK, I have,
00:49:28 OK, "Shalom to the dome."
00:49:31 - Shalom to the dome.
00:49:35 - Thanks for joining us at 2:00.
00:49:37 Haven't gotten off a shot. Lunch
00:49:40 - You know what it is?
00:49:43 - I mean, you know what
00:49:46 - Yeah, I do.
00:49:47 We're having a giant meal
00:49:49 and a side of kiss my ass.
00:49:51 - Ha!
00:49:53 - Here you go.
00:50:00 - Enough putzing.
00:50:03 -Ladies and gentlemen,
00:50:06 we're going hot!
00:50:08 - 5-6-8 split.
00:50:10 -Little bit more
00:50:19 Action!
00:50:21 - Say it to me one more time.
00:50:45 - Ah!
00:51:18 - Yeah!
00:51:21 That's my signature shot!
00:51:25 - 78 alpha, take one!
00:51:27 - Fascinating.
00:51:29 -That's a wrap!
00:51:33 - Yo, mazeltov!
00:51:41 - Very believable!
00:51:43 Excellent shooting,
00:51:46 - Thank you.
00:51:48 - It was enchanting!
00:51:52 - Ah...
00:51:55 I don't want to curse it,
00:51:57 but we could be doing some
00:52:01 A real mitzvah.
00:52:14 - Hey!
00:52:16 I've been looking for you.
00:52:18 Lionel did a really nice
00:52:21 Do you want to see it?
00:52:22 - If you like it, I like it.
00:52:24 - All right.
00:52:26 Well, that was a good day.
00:52:28 Levy pulled off his signature
00:52:32 - Yeah.
00:52:33 - You seem more
00:52:36 Oh... Nice talking to you.
00:52:40 - I told a joke. I don't
00:52:43 - Well, let's hear it.
00:52:45 - It's long and boring.
00:52:47 - What else is new?
00:52:50 - A rabbi, and actor,
00:52:53 are fishing for scrod.
00:52:56 Did I tell you my
00:52:58 - Is this part of the joke?
00:53:00 - It might be.
00:53:01 Here's the punchline. Ready?
00:53:03 - Yeah.
00:53:05 - She forgot to invite
00:53:12 - Well, you're going to
00:53:17 It's Andrei.
00:53:20 Hello. Hi, Andrei.
00:53:24 What?
00:53:25 God! When?
00:53:33 - Sorry, you can't
00:53:35 - They're OK.
00:53:38 - One of Bobby's guys was shot.
00:53:40 No one's claimed
00:53:41 - You sure
00:53:43 - Yeah, Jamal was tied up,
00:53:46 The guys wore military
00:53:48 - Oh my God. I don't
00:53:50 - We can shoot
00:53:53 - Should I call Howard?
00:53:54 - Lionel will write Bobby
00:53:57 - Shouldn't I call Howard?
00:53:58 - Who's Howard?
00:54:01 There's no war here.
00:54:03 I tried his cell.
00:54:04 I have an emergency and I need
00:54:07 Who are you talking to?
00:54:08 - The insurance company.
00:54:10 - Somebody has to
00:54:12 - Fine, shut it down.
00:54:15 I can shoot around him.
00:54:16 - If I don't speak
00:54:18 - A week? Here's
00:54:19 Eat me!
00:54:21 They're calling it
00:54:22 They're not gonna pay.
00:54:24 We're fucked.
00:54:26 - Does Bobby belong to any
00:54:29 causes, that sort of thing?
00:54:31 - I don't think so.
00:54:32 - He recently
00:54:35 - Yes, I read that
00:54:37 - Good evening, Ambassador.
00:54:39 This was delivered 10 minutes
00:54:50 -"My name is Bobby Mason
00:54:51 "I've not been harmed and have
00:54:55 "The August 1st Brigade demands
00:54:58 "ends its support of the puppet
00:55:04 "That colonial America
00:55:07 "of the illegal and immoral
00:55:09 "that continue to destroy our
00:55:15 - What if we
00:55:17 a piece of the backend?
00:55:19 Adjusted gross points.
00:55:24 -The terrorist group,
00:55:27 is said to be linked
00:55:30 The Scorpions are apparently
00:55:34 Although Mr. Mason has
00:55:37 - They'll get Bobby
00:55:39 I mean, what are they
00:55:42 -...but what has been confirmed
00:55:45 were tied up by
00:55:47 and one member of his entourage
00:55:50 The men were apparently
00:55:53 The American star is currently
00:55:56 shooting the film
00:55:59 Freedom Fighter.
00:56:07 - Think we'll get
00:56:10 - If we're lucky.
00:56:14 Who's the grey suit?
00:56:15 - I don't know.
00:56:17 Those two are Bobby's lawyers.
00:56:19 Did you know Mark was coming?
00:56:26 - Grier Clark, head of
00:56:29 - Charlie Berns,
00:56:31 - Let me get you up to speed.
00:56:33 Insurance calls it an act of
00:56:35 They're not paying.
00:56:38 Save the set,
00:56:40 - I can keep shooting.
00:56:41 - Mason's in every scene.
00:56:44 Don't bullshit a bullshitter.
00:56:46 I need to go to the set
00:56:48 Is that us?
00:56:51 - Yup.
00:56:52 - Yeah.
00:56:55 - Bobby Mason is a corporation
00:56:56 and I'm vice-president
00:56:58 First I'm going to sue the
00:57:03 - Mark...
00:57:04 - Gross negligence,
00:57:06 - Mark, we'll get him back.
00:57:09 - The horse has
00:57:15 - He's got a point.
00:57:17 - Yeah.
00:57:19 This is what I
00:57:21 Go back to the hotel,
00:57:23 because everybody's
00:57:26 - # Everybody get on down #
00:57:29 # Get on down now #
00:57:34 - Sounds like people are pretty
00:57:38 - Deidre wanted more security.
00:57:40 I said no.
00:57:41 - Bad decision.
00:57:43 - Going to the party?
00:57:45 - I'm trying to stay on
00:57:47 - She's an excellent producer.
00:57:49 You going to fire her?
00:57:51 - Because of this?
00:57:53 - What about Howard Draper?
00:57:55 - That's a stupid move.
00:57:56 - I'll send a memo.
00:58:04 # # #
00:58:07 - # Shake your stuff
00:58:10 # We're gonna
00:58:12 - Woo!
00:58:13 - # Everybody #
00:58:15 # Get on down #
00:58:17 # You get on down now #
00:58:23 - Charlie, this is Glenn.
00:58:26 Charlie Berns, our producer.
00:58:28 - It's great to
00:58:30 I'm so sorry.
00:58:32 - Well, people get kidnapped.
00:58:34 - Glenn has been flying
00:58:37 - Very gallant.
00:58:40 - When's the big day?
00:58:42 - When you getting married?
00:58:43 - How long you
00:58:45 to wrap out of here?
00:58:46 - You go home.
00:58:48 How long have
00:58:50 - We've been seeing each other
00:58:53 - Oh. Making sure you really
00:58:56 - Heh heh!
00:58:57 - Do you come from money?
00:59:00 We were comfortable, yeah.
00:59:02 - Old money?
00:59:03 - Charlie, enough.
00:59:07 - You're being fired.
00:59:10 He's a lawyer.
00:59:15 - He's an odd duck, hmm?
00:59:19 - Yeah.
00:59:21 - # I realize it's just
00:59:29 - Cute.
00:59:31 Vodka straight.
00:59:33 I will miss you.
00:59:37 - How did you meet Levy?
00:59:38 - At Yaboom in Amsterdam.
00:59:41 A whorehouse, yes?
00:59:44 For now he's director
00:59:48 But someday...
00:59:50 Ciao, baby. Must go party,
00:59:55 - Hey, boss.
00:59:56 - George. How's it going?
01:00:04 - Charlie.
01:00:07 Hey.
01:00:09 They fired me?
01:00:11 - Yup.
01:00:12 - Who told you?
01:00:15 - Because of this?
01:00:18 - I have to call Howard.
01:00:19 - Draper's staying.
01:00:21 - He sold me out?
01:00:25 Wait a minute. Where you going?
01:00:27 - Where do you want me to go?
01:00:29 - Uh, well, Glenn and I
01:00:31 are getting a flight out
01:00:35 - Yeah.
01:00:37 - So, I don't know.
01:00:41 - You want a goodbye moment?
01:00:43 - Well, yeah.
01:00:45 Yeah, I mean...
01:01:36 # Opera #
01:01:52 Hi. I had an idea.
01:01:54 Can I come in?
01:01:56 This might be interesting.
01:01:59 Very interesting, Charlie.
01:02:01 I was changing money
01:02:04 Do you mind if I turn
01:02:06 The studio said to
01:02:09 and we still have
01:02:11 You know what? It can't
01:02:14 It's got to be spent
01:02:16 That's $3.5, $3.7 US.
01:02:20 OK...
01:02:24 Are you ready?
01:02:27 We make Bill and Ben.
01:02:32 Lionel's script.
01:02:35 It's beautifully-written.
01:02:37 I mean, would it be so
01:02:40 we could actually be proud of?
01:02:46 - Where's Glenn?
01:02:49 - You and I could
01:02:52 The studio's in chaos,
01:02:53 so we make it look like we're
01:02:57 but we don't send home the sets.
01:02:58 We rebuild them and we
01:03:01 We'll keep Hans, Levy.
01:03:04 We can re-work one
01:03:06 to use it as the
01:03:08 Ian Chadwick would
01:03:10 and Fiona could play the
01:03:13 and Nigel could do Gladstone.
01:03:15 We cast the whole thing
01:03:17 L.A. will never know about it.
01:03:19 - You think this is lamb?
01:03:21 - We could make a real film.
01:03:23 - Why do you want to do this?
01:03:25 Because if it's for revenge,
01:03:28 Trust me.
01:03:29 - I'm not mad at Howard.
01:03:32 The stupidest job on
01:03:35 I like production, Charlie.
01:03:38 - All right, I'll read it.
01:03:40 - Read what?
01:03:44 - You never read it?
01:03:46 - Ah...
01:03:48 Levy, could you come to my
01:03:51 We're going to have
01:03:53 Let's keep it on the QT.
01:03:55 - Yeah. Where is the QT?
01:03:56 - No, I mean
01:03:58 Except for Linda.
01:04:02 - OK.
01:04:07 - In 15 minutes.
01:04:09 - Keep this quiet. Fiona?
01:04:11 Could you come too?
01:04:13 - Certainly.
01:04:17 - Morning!
01:04:19 - Going to the
01:04:21 - Meeting?
01:04:22 - Right, I thought you
01:04:25 - Who?
01:04:26 - So you're not going
01:04:28 - Oh, no!
01:04:29 - Neither am I.
01:04:31 Maybe see you in the bar later.
01:04:39 Morning, everyone.
01:04:41 - Nigel, come on.
01:04:43 Close the drapes.
01:04:45 - See if we have
01:04:47 - Charlie, we made a mistake.
01:04:51 They'll arrest us.
01:04:54 I'd arrest us. Wouldn't
01:04:57 Let's just get to Prague
01:05:00 and I can bury the
01:05:03 Did you hear me?
01:05:05 - Mmm-hmm.
01:05:06 - What do you think?
01:05:07 - They'll only arrest
01:05:29 - Hello, my friend.
01:05:32 - Vladimir.
01:05:33 - Charlie Berns.
01:05:35 Levy, our director.
01:05:37 Our DP, Hans.
01:05:38 - You've been to Prague before?
01:05:40 - No, never.
01:05:42 - How are ya?
01:05:45 - You have the blueprints?
01:05:47 - We're going to make the
01:05:49 - He'll have to build
01:05:54 - I want to be shooting
01:05:56 - I can shoot Fiona and Nigel.
01:05:58 - It's impossible.
01:06:01 - Skip, call
01:06:03 Because you're the
01:06:05 We'll be back with Ben and Queen
01:06:08 - See you Wednesday.
01:06:09 - Where are you going?
01:06:13 - Just keep at it 24-7
01:06:15 till it looks
01:06:17 - Uncle Charlie?
01:06:25 - OK...
01:06:28 - Thank you.
01:06:29 - Group hug.
01:06:32 He got snot
01:06:34 He did!
01:06:36 - Just be quiet.
01:06:42 What do we tell Ian?
01:06:44 - But we don't have Vanessa.
01:06:47 - She's putting in a bathroom.
01:06:49 She wants more money.
01:06:51 - How much more do
01:06:54 - One bathroom.
01:06:55 Wonderful country, as
01:06:58 - When were you
01:07:01 - If I had my way, right after
01:07:04 No, I'm just kidding.
01:07:07 - Wednesday?
01:07:09 Oh. I wasn't aware.
01:07:11 - Vanessa wanted to call you,
01:07:12 but I wasn't comfortable
01:07:15 She's really passionate
01:07:18 - She's doing it?
01:07:23 - I really can't.
01:07:25 You see, we're
01:07:29 - I completely understand.
01:07:44 - Ah...
01:07:45 Hello?
01:07:48 Hey Glenn, how are you?
01:07:52 Um, hi.
01:07:53 I'm actually in London.
01:07:55 We're making-- Glenn, can you
01:08:00 Because I'm getting
01:08:03 OK.
01:08:06 Hi, it's Deidre.
01:08:08 Hey, Melanie.
01:08:10 You're kidding.
01:08:12 We got Ian.
01:08:13 - Imagine my shock.
01:08:15 - Ha!
01:08:17 Well, that's just great!
01:08:19 Thanks, Melanie.
01:08:20 I can't believe it!
01:08:23 We're going to jail!
01:08:25 How do you do it,
01:08:28 - How's Glenn?
01:08:30 - Oh my God!
01:08:32 - What did you do with it?
01:08:33 - Shh! What if I
01:08:35 - There it is.
01:08:37 - Hello?
01:08:39 Oh, hi.
01:08:42 So, things have
01:08:45 We're making a movie.
01:08:47 No, not that movie,
01:08:50 - But he's suspicious
01:08:53 - I was not blind to the worldly
01:08:57 But I have already proved my
01:09:01 - You have nothing
01:09:05 - I found you as I thought.
01:09:08 Amiable, tender...
01:09:12 ...gifted with no ordinary mind.
01:09:17 - CUT!
01:09:36 - Morning, Lionel.
01:09:38 This scene this afternoon,
01:09:40 this chap here,
01:09:45 CIA, perhaps
01:09:46 - I'm sorry. I'm not sure
01:09:50 - This is a different
01:09:52 - Oh. Completely different?
01:09:54 - Completely different.
01:09:56 - Oh!
01:09:57 Makes sense, doesn't it?
01:09:58 An improvement, I think.
01:10:03 - It's part of his process.
01:10:05 - Chief, I've got a
01:10:08 We've lost the Countess.
01:10:09 - How?
01:10:11 - I need coffee for this.
01:10:13 - But these are two
01:10:15 not from L.A.
01:10:17 London, New York.
01:10:18 - New York's too close to L.A.
01:10:20 You know, this can't
01:10:22 - Understood.
01:10:24 I'll have them sign a
01:10:26 She'll do a lovely job.
01:10:28 - How far is Germany? Could we
01:10:30 - This is coffee.
01:10:34 Blech.
01:10:56 - Excuse me, Colin.
01:10:58 - Yeah?
01:11:00 - Are we doing a picture
01:11:20 - Take a break.
01:11:23 Not you.
01:11:25 Are you Berns' assistant?
01:11:28 - Where is he?
01:11:30 - Cape Town.
01:11:31 - Get him on the phone.
01:11:39 - I don't know how to reach him.
01:11:40 - You're his assistant and you
01:11:43 - No.
01:11:44 - How do you
01:11:47 - I take messages.
01:11:55 - I want to try the
01:11:58 - Chief, do you know
01:12:01 - No.
01:12:02 - She says she's
01:12:04 - Oh, yeah!
01:12:05 Hi, Catherine.
01:12:08 Oriental's fine.
01:12:14 Who?
01:12:15 When?
01:12:18 When's he coming?
01:12:20 - What if we
01:12:21 put the chapel
01:12:23 - NO, NO!
01:12:24 Yes, but no.
01:12:26 - Levy, can you
01:12:28 - Sure.
01:12:29 - Thank you.
01:12:31 - He's going to be here
01:12:34 - We could shoot
01:12:36 - Friends, I need more days.
01:12:38 -Skip, set ready.
01:12:42 - Everybody, keep thinking cuts.
01:12:45 We need to cut this sucker.
01:12:47 Where are you going? Sit.
01:12:50 - Cut.
01:12:55 - Levy, we've got a bit
01:13:00 - We are a week away
01:13:03 Why would they shut us down?
01:13:04 - They may be the
01:13:06 - Isn't it great
01:13:08 - It's wonderful, isn't
01:13:10 Think the terrorists
01:13:12 - Let's just come clean.
01:13:14 - Grier Clark's an asshole.
01:13:15 He'd love nothing better
01:13:17 - Grier Clark?
01:13:19 - You know him?
01:13:20 - Christ, I do.
01:13:22 - Oh my gosh,
01:13:25 - Let's have a chat.
01:13:26 - Good grief.
01:13:30 - What?
01:13:41 - Hi, I'm Grier Clark.
01:13:45 - Studio.
01:13:49 And I am Tanya.
01:13:54 Or perhaps I take
01:13:57 It's on the way.
01:14:14 - Background action!
01:14:23 - Action!
01:14:26 - Oh, my dear, dear...
01:14:30 Dear...
01:14:31 I'm sorry, what is it?
01:14:33 - Daughter.
01:14:34 - Daughter, of course.
01:14:36 Oh, my dear, dear, child.
01:14:40 The pleasures of life rarely...
01:14:42 They rarely...
01:14:44 They rarely...
01:14:45 - Transcend.
01:14:47 - Yes, I know.
01:14:49 The pleasures of life rarely...
01:14:52 - Cut!
01:14:53 - No, don't cut it!
01:14:54 Oh, fuck it!
01:15:22 - Oh, you're bad.
01:15:25 - You have no idea.
01:15:29 - Oh!
01:15:32 -Background action!
01:15:34 - Father, I know you think him
01:15:37 but my heart is--
01:15:39 - Oh, what folly.
01:15:41 You act as if no man had ever
01:15:44 I was young once.
01:15:46 Look at me.
01:15:48 A glow has returned to
01:15:51 I'm an old fool.
01:15:54 - Cut.
01:15:57 - Thank God the speech
01:15:59 I'd address your foot.
01:16:04 - Yeah, brilliant.
01:16:09 - No...
01:16:35 - Stay.
01:16:37 - Enough, enough.
01:16:41 - Housekeeping!
01:16:43 Oh, you need vacuum? Me?
01:16:46 - OK, OK.
01:16:48 Enough putzing,
01:16:50 - Skip, why aren't we shooting?
01:16:53 - You help with the table?
01:16:59 Ooh! Pardon!
01:17:01 You got spot.
01:17:03 You got something...
01:17:05 Ooh!
01:17:42 - Do we have
01:17:44 - No, but we could
01:17:47 - Two hours?
01:17:49 I don't think so,
01:17:53 - Shit!
01:17:54 - No, you sign!
01:18:04 - I hear they found
01:18:07 - Who?
01:18:08 - What's his name...
01:18:10 Fellow who played
01:18:12 - I'm playing Ben Disraeli.
01:18:14 - No, no. Chap with
01:18:19 - What?
01:18:21 No, no! Linda, you can't!
01:18:23 They've left the hotel.
01:18:25 - Linda, go get them!
01:18:27 - It's too late. I did
01:18:31 Believe me.
01:18:35 - Well...
01:18:37 You lose some, you lose some.
01:18:40 Call it, Skip.
01:18:43 - Wait a minute, Charlie.
01:18:45 We're one shot away from
01:18:47 - Grier's shutting
01:18:50 and we don't have a camera.
01:18:51 - We'll figure something out.
01:19:00 - Hang ten, guys.
01:19:03 Hey guys, camera's here.
01:19:06 - Set it up.
01:19:07 You heard the lady.
01:19:10 - Listen...
01:19:14 - Come on, come on!
01:19:17 - You're joking, right?
01:19:19 - Deidre, it's only a movie.
01:19:22 That's really sick.
01:19:23 - What? It's a page
01:19:25 - Out of my... What?
01:19:27 Out of my book.
01:19:28 That's just great.
01:19:29 Now my book is the sick book?
01:19:31 - Why don't you want
01:19:33 - I do! Why wouldn't I?
01:19:36 - Because...
01:19:38 - You know why.
01:19:40 - Because you know
01:19:42 that as soon as we wrap
01:19:45 - While we're on the subject,
01:19:46 why are you even
01:19:49 - It's a beautiful
01:19:51 - Oh, bullshit!
01:19:53 - Bullshit?
01:19:54 - Uh-oh.
01:19:55 - When did the brilliance
01:19:58 When you were
01:20:00 input into his Blackberry?
01:20:02 - What?
01:20:04 Will you tell the poor
01:20:07 - Guys, smoke 'em
01:20:09 - Even I'm starting
01:20:12 - I'm going to take marriage
01:20:15 You on your 3rd, 4th, 5th?
01:20:20 - It takes guts to pull the plug
01:20:22 And that's why
01:20:25 - A lecture on courage from you?
01:20:35 - More goulash? Come.
01:20:40 - Lionel told me. I'm sorry.
01:20:44 - Give me the phone.
01:20:49 I don't know how to
01:20:51 - Speed dial 2, press Send.
01:20:57 -Da?
01:20:58 - It's Charlie.
01:21:00 Hit a tree, put him
01:21:04 - OK.
01:21:17 I need map for location.
01:21:20 In back. You get please.
01:21:22 - Sure.
01:21:36 [Speaking Czech
01:21:39 - OK chaps, we're ready.
01:21:43 Ready, ready.
01:21:46 Allrighty, then.
01:21:49 - For the love of God,
01:21:51 - I'm rallying the troops for
01:21:54 OK, everyone!
01:21:56 - Yes, what is it?
01:21:58 - Remember, pick up the
01:22:01 - Yes, yes, yes.
01:22:02 I understand, the book
01:22:05 You told me 1000 times.
01:22:07 - You fucked it up 999 times.
01:22:09 - And we wouldn't want to sully
01:22:12 by putting an actor's face
01:22:14 - How's the goulash sitting?
01:22:16 - It's good. It's fine.
01:22:20 - Wait. One minute.
01:22:22 4-5-6 split.
01:22:23 - This is it. All the best.
01:22:25 - Oh, thanks.
01:22:27 Everybody,
01:22:31 - Scene number 157, take one.
01:22:39 - Action!
01:22:44 - Mr. Speaker!
01:22:48 Gentlemen,
01:22:50 the honourable gentleman's
01:22:52 is, as we know,
01:22:55 as is his audacious manner.
01:22:59 May we humble servants
01:23:01 as to the genesis
01:23:05 - After a day of the most
01:23:09 I have purchased for England,
01:23:12 all of Egypt's shares
01:23:18 - Order! Order in the House!
01:23:23 - Mr. Speaker, gentlemen,
01:23:25 I say grave questions of honour
01:23:28 hang darkly before us.
01:23:30 - The canal now
01:23:34 All the grubby gamblers,
01:23:35 and financiers
01:23:37 have been plotting to grab it.
01:23:40 And we have outfoxed them!
01:23:46 - Why was Parliament
01:23:48 Why was this done
01:23:51 - Because haste was
01:23:53 I have never been
01:23:57 I'm in a coma from ecstasy!
01:24:00 And now, dear England, finally,
01:24:02 France can once and
01:24:26 - Cut!
01:24:30 Cut. That's a cut,
01:24:34 Excellent work, everyone.
01:24:38 - Hans?
01:24:40 - Sir, can I check the gate?
01:24:53 - Good gate.
01:24:55 - Gate's good.
01:24:59 - I love you all.
01:25:03 - Ladies and gentlemen,
01:25:05 I'm relieved to inform you
01:25:09 is a wrap!
01:25:15 # Wish you more success #
01:25:21 # More than I could ever have #
01:25:27 # I wish you
01:25:32 # Good friends
01:25:39 # Don't make
01:25:44 # And if you do
01:25:50 - Where's the champagne?
01:26:02 # Social loners
01:26:07 # I open my arms for you #
01:26:14 - Hi, Grier!
01:26:17 You've got a knack for
01:26:19 - You think you
01:26:22 This film will never--
01:26:24 - Sit down.
01:26:25 - Are you OK?
01:26:27 - Let me help you out on this.
01:26:30 You go back to L.A.
01:26:31 You say,
01:26:33 "When I said salvage
01:26:35 "They thought I meant
01:26:37 "When I got to Prague,
01:26:38 - You're pretty cute.
01:26:39 - "And then I thought..."
01:26:41 This is you talking.
01:26:42 "Then I thought,
01:26:43 "They got Nigel Bland,
01:26:47 "Why not look at
01:26:49 "It'll cost us nothing."
01:26:50 - We had that tax money
01:26:52 just sitting in Prague.
01:26:53 - Good night, darlings.
01:26:55 Congratulations.
01:26:57 - It may not be
01:26:59 Worst case,
01:27:00 - Hi, Linda!
01:27:02 - Linda!
01:27:04 We got the shot!
01:27:06 - She's a great
01:27:08 You should use her again.
01:27:10 - How's your wife?
01:27:13 We used to do yoga together.
01:27:16 - I'm going to be
01:27:19 this story's got holes in it.
01:27:21 Like, "Where have you
01:27:23 But you can work on that part on
01:27:37 Does your mom still
01:27:40 - Yeah.
01:27:41 - Your folks
01:27:44 - Yeah.
01:27:45 - Oh.
01:27:52 Where you going?
01:27:56 - I'm going to get
01:28:03 - You don't take yoga, do you?
01:28:07 - I have.
01:28:08 - Yeah, but not with...
01:28:10 - No.
01:28:13 - Good for you.
01:28:15 - I've been well-taught.
01:28:23 - Good for me.
01:28:31 I'll see you at the premiere.
01:28:33 You will, mate,
01:28:36 - Thank you.
01:28:38 Bye, Deidre.
01:28:39 - Honey, don't cry.
01:28:43 - Goodbye. Send a rough
01:28:46 - You really took
01:28:47 - I took many, for him.
01:28:49 - Ciao.
01:28:51 - Ciao.
01:28:52 - See you in LA!
01:28:54 - Bye, Lionel, Levy!
01:28:59 # Good friends
01:29:21 - I read a script, and I
01:29:24 It's about a Russian
01:29:28 It's right up your alley.
01:29:30 Nothing happens,
01:29:32 A bunch of guys
01:29:35 Huh?
01:29:37 I think we should
01:29:40 We're a good team.
01:29:41 Berns and Hearn.
01:29:45 You're really smart,
01:29:47 That's a good balance.
01:29:50 - What do you want, Charlie?
01:29:51 - I'll take a vodka tonic
01:29:54 I want to work together,
01:29:58 - What I need to know is that
01:30:01 - Can I have my seat back?
01:30:02 - No.
01:30:04 - Could you give us
01:30:06 - No, we don't need it.
01:30:07 - Would you switch
01:30:09 - He doesn't want
01:30:11 - He's a grown man. I think
01:30:14 - Will you go take
01:30:17 - We have to work
01:30:19 - No! Go away and
01:30:27 - What if I can--
01:30:30 OK, OK...
01:30:32 - I didn't mean to eavesdrop,
01:30:34 but I couldn't help overhear
01:30:37 My son-in-law has
01:30:39 and I think you might
01:30:42 It's set during the
01:31:02 - Come on, folks.
01:31:06 - Well, thank you, Charlie.
01:31:10 - We had some fun, huh?
01:31:12 Bobby's kidnapping...
01:31:16 You sure this is
01:31:18 - You had your fun,
01:31:21 show's over, time to go home.
01:31:23 - I don't want to go home.
01:31:25 - Why?
01:31:26 - There's a jacaranda
01:31:28 - I can't be your
01:31:30 - Glenn?
01:31:31 - Then why?
01:31:33 - Charlie, when we
01:31:35 I thought you were a joke.
01:31:38 And then I thought that
01:31:41 And then I thought that you were
01:31:45 that I ever met.
01:31:46 - Thank you. I think
01:31:49 - I'm not finished.
01:31:50 Then I realized that you're not
01:31:53 - I know--
01:31:56 It takes guts, you know?
01:31:59 It takes guts to want something
01:32:01 and to love something--
01:32:03 - Excuse me. Want me to put
01:32:06 - Yeah. Thank you.
01:32:08 And to go after it.
01:32:15 I'm finished.
01:32:27 Hey, Charlie.
01:32:30 I love what was in the center.
01:32:56 - Wait! Wait!
01:32:59 - Oh my God!
01:33:02 Are you all right?
01:33:03 - Ow!
01:33:04 - Oh my God! Why
01:33:07 - I was trying to be brave.
01:33:09 - Leaping in front
01:33:12 - Don't yell at me, I'm hurt!
01:33:14 - Are you OK, sir?
01:33:16 - Are you hurt or are you fine?
01:33:18 - I'm a little hurt.
01:33:19 - What were you thinking?
01:33:20 I didn't want you to leave.
01:33:22 - Well, what about "stop"?
01:33:24 - I thought we needed
01:33:29 - Oh, Charlie...
01:33:30 Oh my God...
01:33:32 - Can I ask you something?
01:33:35 Filmmaker to filmmaker.
01:33:36 - What?
01:33:39 - How did I do?
01:33:43 - Well, it's a start.
01:33:47 You can always fix it in post.
01:33:52 - I did hurt myself a little.
01:33:55 - Where? Where?
01:33:57 This?
01:33:58 - This is a
01:34:01 You had this when
01:34:03 - I'm bruised.
01:34:05 - Where are you bruised?
01:34:06 - Couple of places
01:34:09 - Where did you get
01:34:11 - You really want to know?
01:34:18 So, that's my joke.
01:34:20 Now, here's the punchline.
01:34:23 Bill and Ben was nominated
01:34:28 Ian Chadwick was
01:34:30 - This was a passion
01:34:33 I've always been personally
01:34:35 with Benjamin Disraeli ever
01:34:37 - Is that your daughter?
01:34:38 - Good heavens, no. I was hoping
01:34:42 -Nigel Bland nabbed Best
01:34:47 Linda got nominated
01:34:49 - You want to know about
01:34:52 It's all on the screen.
01:34:54 - It's got everything.
01:34:56 sex appeal...
01:34:58 -And my nephew Lionel
01:34:59 for his very first script.
01:35:03 - Fiona!
01:35:06 - I'm just so excited to
01:35:10 I love it!
01:35:11 -You know what?
01:35:12 I'm actually proud
01:35:14 The producing team
01:35:16 just signed Philip
01:35:18 to play Pfnooty Luvovich...
01:35:19 Would you take our picture?
01:35:21 ...the famous Russian
01:35:23 - Who are they?
01:35:24 -We're shopping it around.
01:35:27 - It's not working!
01:35:28 - It's not working?
01:35:30 - The Suez Canal
01:35:32 and he had this
01:35:35 and he delighted in
01:35:37 - Interesting.
01:35:39 - I'm wearing
01:35:41 OK, I got it.
01:35:43 Deidre and I had a tough
01:35:45 - Nothing?
01:35:46 -Either clean my
01:35:50 We moved.
01:35:51 It's got a nice pool.
01:35:54 No tree, but...
01:35:56 And Bobby Mason...
01:35:57 Actually, it's
01:36:00 Anyway, Mohammed and his wife
01:36:01 are coming over to
01:36:04 Deidre's going to
01:36:06 And by the way,
01:36:10 but that tux I'm wearing,
01:36:12 it's an Edgar Pomeroy.