Death At A Funeral

en
00:03:06 Would you like to see before, you know...
00:03:11 Yeah.
00:03:20 Brian? Who's this?
00:03:23 You know, I asked myself the same thing
00:03:25 I said, "Who is this man?"
00:03:27 No, no, Brian. Who's this in the coffin?
00:03:29 - Because that's not my father.
00:03:32 Are you asking me if I'm sure
00:03:34 No, people make mistakes
00:03:36 Look at the damn body, man.
00:03:40 Oh, shit.
00:03:41 - You got Jackie Chan in there!
00:03:43 Come on, Brian.
00:03:46 We are very scattered today.
00:03:47 This type of thing almost never happens.
00:03:49 - Almost never happens?
00:03:50 It's not Burger King.
00:03:53 Please, just calm down.
00:03:55 You think?
00:03:57 If my dad's not in this coffin in one hour,
00:04:00 - You got it?
00:04:03 I promise that. He's in one of two places.
00:04:07 Listen, okay, guys? Let's pack this up.
00:04:10 Let's go, let's get out of here.
00:04:12 Wait a minute, before we move...
00:04:16 No. They in the car.
00:04:19 Let's go, guys. I think it's on.
00:04:21 If you're so antsy about being here,
00:04:24 - You know why.
00:04:27 All about death, death, death.
00:04:29 I don't think funerals are designed
00:04:32 I suppose.
00:04:34 I don't want a regular funeral
00:04:36 I want my life celebrated.
00:04:38 Like Anna Nicole Smith, Richard Nixon,
00:04:42 I want mine to be the saddest day ever.
00:04:44 Stock market should crash,
00:04:47 girls crying in the streets.
00:04:48 That kind of thing. An eclipse would be nice.
00:04:52 - Come on.
00:04:54 You still smoking after all of
00:04:56 No, Norman, stop, all right.
00:04:59 We used to smoke together.
00:05:00 I used to piss my pants and then I stopped.
00:05:03 I got my own problems to worry about
00:05:06 Come on, Norman.
00:05:08 - I told you! My rash!
00:05:11 - On my hand, dude.
00:05:14 That's the first line of defence.
00:05:15 This shit ain't normal. Look at it.
00:05:18 - Fuck. That ain't a rash, man.
00:05:21 I don't know, but it's very splotchy.
00:05:25 Splotchy? I hate splotchy.
00:05:28 - Nah.
00:05:30 They brought the wrong body.
00:05:32 Honey, did you hear me?
00:05:35 Oh, my God!
00:05:37 They think so.
00:05:40 I told you.
00:05:42 but, no, you wanted to keep it all
00:05:44 Don't rub it in, not today.
00:05:47 Dad insisted on having his funeral
00:05:51 Death is everywhere.
00:05:53 Baby, no. No, it's not.
00:05:55 Mom won't stop crying.
00:05:56 - Ryan hasn't helped out.
00:05:58 Plus on top of that, I got to worry
00:06:01 I am sure it'll be the best eulogy
00:06:04 Doesn't matter.
00:06:05 All anybody's gonna be thinking is,
00:06:09 "Step aside and let the writer
00:06:11 Even I'm gonna be thinking it.
00:06:12 Why don't you just let him do it then?
00:06:16 So, now you want Ryan to do the eulogy?
00:06:17 No. I'm just saying...
00:06:18 You're just saying that you wanna
00:06:20 No. You're the oldest, so...
00:06:22 So, the only reason I should do it
00:06:24 Aaron, calm down.
00:06:26 I think that you are every bit
00:06:29 I just think that you need to let
00:06:34 It's not ready yet.
00:06:35 Okay, fine. But don't forget,
00:06:38 - I know.
00:06:41 but I am so ready to move.
00:06:43 I know, honey,
00:06:46 Exactly.
00:06:48 I know this is rough.
00:06:50 But it's the last day of my cycle.
00:06:52 And I'm 37 years old, so we need to try to,
00:06:55 you know, we need to do it,
00:07:00 - Babe.
00:07:01 You're gonna have to switch that cycle
00:07:07 Can we at least find the body first?
00:07:13 - Are you okay?
00:07:18 Okay, I'm a... I'm a little nervous.
00:07:21 Why, because you're gonna see
00:07:23 I just don't think I've ever been
00:07:26 Even my seventh graders aren't that mean.
00:07:27 I think he's gonna be more concerned today
00:07:30 - Babe.
00:07:33 Right. Anyway, when I tell him
00:07:35 he's just gonna have to accept you. I...
00:07:38 - Jesus! Are you okay?
00:07:40 - You asshole!
00:07:41 Oh, yeah, flip me off.
00:07:44 You poke your eye out,
00:07:46 - Oscar, baby.
00:07:47 - Look at me.
00:07:49 - Relax. Okay?
00:07:50 Everything is fine. Okay? Breathe.
00:07:53 Okay.
00:07:56 - Better?
00:07:57 Oh, good. It's okay.
00:08:00 Fuck you!
00:08:05 I think you'll find that
00:08:07 Oh, so, now you wanna be professional.
00:08:10 You got your keys?
00:08:12 Because once we bury him,
00:08:14 just so you can tweet.
00:08:15 Look, I'm trying, okay?
00:08:17 Hey, how is your mother holding up, Aaron?
00:08:19 She's fine. She's in great health.
00:08:21 - There's no more business here.
00:08:22 What about your Uncle Russell?
00:08:24 - How's he doing?
00:08:25 Okay, I'm just asking.
00:08:28 I'm here if you need me, you know that.
00:08:31 - Michelle, come here.
00:08:32 You don't have to come.
00:08:34 I'm just saying, everybody knows
00:08:37 for fried chicken from a slave named Jubalai.
00:08:40 Now, I give him credit for the coleslaw,
00:08:46 Hey, buddy! How you doing?
00:08:48 I need a favour.
00:08:51 Yeah, I know it's a hassle,
00:08:54 - Damn! He's always in a bad mood.
00:08:58 It's not a mood if he's always in it.
00:09:03 All right, I'll do it.
00:09:08 Hey, Mama. How you holding up?
00:09:11 There were so many things
00:09:14 Travel.
00:09:17 He wanted to go to Thailand.
00:09:18 Oh, come on, Ma,
00:09:20 That's not the point.
00:09:23 Who knows how long
00:09:26 It might make a difference
00:09:29 who could take my mind off
00:09:33 - Oh, well.
00:09:35 I know what you're trying to do, Michelle,
00:09:39 But it doesn't seem to be working,
00:09:41 - Where's Ryan? Have you talked to him yet?
00:09:44 Just to see his face
00:09:48 Oh, I have missed him so much. My baby.
00:09:52 Do you need me to do something, Cynthia?
00:09:53 You could take your hand off
00:09:57 You are leaving a smudge mark.
00:10:02 Is she shooting us the finger?
00:10:05 That's nice, ladies! Thank you!
00:10:10 - There he is.
00:10:12 - He's okay.
00:10:13 He's just grumpy.
00:10:14 You got to know how to handle him.
00:10:20 Oh, he looks kind of sweet.
00:10:21 - Hi, Uncle Russell!
00:10:23 You remember me? I'm Norman.
00:10:24 I came to pick you up
00:10:26 Where the fuck you been, you fat bastard?
00:10:31 Shit, good thing you know
00:10:33 Would you like to ride shotgun?
00:10:36 Stop the game, all right?
00:10:37 ...take this missile in your ass.
00:10:39 - Listen.
00:10:41 - They're right here.
00:10:43 - I have a funeral to go to. Shit!
00:10:46 - Fuck.
00:10:48 No, no, I'm not gonna try them. I made them.
00:10:49 But they're good, right? The stuff's good?
00:10:51 I got to go.
00:10:53 And, dude, this shit's gonna
00:10:56 You'll love it. All right, got to go. Bye.
00:11:01 Do you always open the door half naked?
00:11:03 Come on, Jeff, we're gonna be late.
00:11:05 All I got to do is just put some pants on.
00:11:07 And this is my house, so...
00:11:11 - He's fine. He's just freaking out.
00:11:13 - A car almost ran into us, and I was yelling.
00:11:17 - I didn't see him.
00:11:18 - I'm sorry, baby, I...
00:11:20 You guys are funny.
00:11:22 - Yes, no?
00:11:23 - Go put on your pants, please.
00:11:26 And make sure they're black, Jeffrey!
00:11:28 Okay, Mom.
00:11:31 - I'm so hungry.
00:11:33 I don't know what's wrong with me.
00:11:37 Oh, here. Take this one.
00:11:42 What do you mean, take one of those?
00:11:43 It's Valium. I used to take it all the time.
00:11:47 - Valium, are you sure?
00:11:49 - Yes.
00:11:50 someone else's pills, right?
00:11:51 - No, it's okay.
00:11:53 Babe, I'll drive. All right?
00:11:59 Let's do this.
00:12:03 - Oh, my keys.
00:12:05 - They're black, Elaine.
00:12:07 Is he gonna be any less dead
00:12:09 - Forget it. Let's just go. Can I just...
00:12:12 Okay.
00:12:16 - Come on, Jeff.
00:12:18 - We're waiting.
00:12:22 I still can't believe he's gone.
00:12:25 You can't understand death
00:12:29 - Hey, Mama.
00:12:34 Hey.
00:12:36 Mama, I know this is hard,
00:12:39 and we're gonna get through it.
00:12:40 Oh, Ryan, you always know
00:12:44 I guess if people died every week,
00:12:47 - Hey, big bro. How you doing?
00:12:49 - How was your flight, Ryan?
00:12:51 But I had to buy the seat next to me.
00:12:56 And while I'm sitting there, up in first class,
00:13:00 And a couple of them eyeballing me,
00:13:05 So I'm like, "Take your broke,
00:13:10 Plus, there was tons of turbulence,
00:13:12 but I guess that's the thing
00:13:15 No matter how much you pay,
00:13:27 - End up dead!
00:13:28 - Please.
00:13:32 You always know just what to say.
00:13:33 My bad.
00:13:35 Hey. I love it when you come
00:13:39 Because Dad takes his pure hate out on you.
00:13:41 - Jeff.
00:13:45 You okay?
00:13:47 Was there a dog in here just now?
00:13:48 - What?
00:13:50 Like a Dalmatian or a Schnauzer?
00:13:54 - Honey, what are you talking about?
00:13:59 It's just a shame that somebody
00:14:04 It was hard to see Dad like this.
00:14:08 - He was sick a long time.
00:14:11 You know what I mean.
00:14:15 - Too much emotion involved.
00:14:18 Some families see each other all the time,
00:14:21 That's just us.
00:14:22 Hey, listen, I know this is a bad time,
00:14:28 - Shit.
00:14:30 Okay. But I don't have it right now.
00:14:32 What the fuck you mean,
00:14:33 You just bought a first class ticket
00:14:36 I don't have any cash. Honest.
00:14:38 I lost a lot of shit when the market collapsed.
00:14:40 So, if you don't mind,
00:14:43 - No, no, no, no, let's discuss this right now.
00:14:47 I'm grieving.
00:14:50 Look at all these cars.
00:14:52 You got to get to these funerals early.
00:14:57 Come on. There's nowhere to park.
00:14:59 - What? There's a spot right there. Grab it.
00:15:02 - Nah. You can wedge it in there. Grab it.
00:15:05 You're not gonna get a ticket.
00:15:07 You're gonna lose it. Grab it.
00:15:10 Norman! Come on. Now, see?
00:15:16 Elaine! I was gonna park there.
00:15:18 Oh, I'm sorry, Norman. Are you family?
00:15:20 - No, but I'm like family.
00:15:23 - Elaine.
00:15:25 - Hey.
00:15:26 Well, your father invited me.
00:15:27 Thought you might need
00:15:29 - Oh, please. Come on. Oscar.
00:15:32 He... Come on, honey. We're here.
00:15:35 - You all right?
00:15:38 We there?
00:15:40 - Yeah.
00:15:43 How could I forget about Uncle Russell?
00:15:45 I said what's happening?
00:15:49 What the fuck's this guy doing?
00:15:51 It's very green here, isn't it?
00:15:54 Like, God, wow, it's like...
00:16:00 - Oscar?
00:16:02 - Look at me.
00:16:03 Hi. Are you all right?
00:16:05 Yeah, why?
00:16:06 All this stuff about dogs
00:16:08 What's going on?
00:16:11 What are you talking about?
00:16:17 Jeff, look at this.
00:16:21 - Hello.
00:16:22 - I don't know.
00:16:24 Oh, my God. It's the Valium.
00:16:27 - Valium?
00:16:30 I gave him one of your Valium.
00:16:34 He's probably not used to it.
00:16:36 - Yeah, right.
00:16:45 Where's he going?
00:16:47 - Oscar!
00:16:51 - You're going the wrong way, dumbass!
00:16:54 - Stop the car, Norman.
00:16:56 Stop the car! I'm getting out.
00:16:58 I got to speak to Elaine. Stop the car.
00:16:59 What about Uncle Russell?
00:17:00 - I need you to help...
00:17:02 - We're gonna be late, fattie!
00:17:04 Uncle Russell, you hit me in my splotch.
00:17:06 You got to stop this, Uncle Russell,
00:17:10 - Hey, how you doing? All right.
00:17:13 Who are these people?
00:17:15 It's your family. You don't recognise
00:17:18 What side of the family is he on?
00:17:21 Probably a friend of Dad's from work.
00:17:22 You know, the funeral looks good.
00:17:25 No, we did a good job.
00:17:28 Are you telling me I got to pay
00:17:31 I'm saying you gonna have to pay
00:17:33 All right, just for a few months,
00:17:37 What am I, a damn credit union?
00:17:39 Goddamn, man! What the fuck?
00:17:43 Hello, boys. How you holding up?
00:17:46 We're doing pretty good.
00:17:47 We just got to wait for a few more people
00:17:50 Have you met my brother, Ryan?
00:17:52 The writer? Oh, man!
00:17:56 You know, I got to tell you,
00:17:58 I squeezed this job in today
00:18:02 Listen, I just finished reading
00:18:07 But, listen, that'll be our little secret,
00:18:08 because I'm not supposed to
00:18:10 Right. Well, I'm sure the Lord'll forgive you.
00:18:12 - I can't wait to hear your eulogy.
00:18:16 - Oh, I thought...
00:18:21 Really?
00:18:25 - How's my little Cynthia?
00:18:30 Oh, look at you.
00:18:32 I'm just trying to hold it all together.
00:18:35 He was a good husband and a great father
00:18:41 Why they have decided not to have
00:18:44 - is beyond me.
00:18:46 Can I get you some coffee?
00:18:48 Coffee may do many things, Michelle,
00:18:53 Tea?
00:19:07 - Hey, Ryan.
00:19:08 I got to go over the speech.
00:19:11 Look at Martina.
00:19:13 Come on, man. Little Martina?
00:19:16 Yeah, well, she may be in 12th grade,
00:19:28 - Anyway...
00:19:30 You know, that's just being neighbourly.
00:19:32 Yeah, you just do that.
00:19:34 - See if she needs a juice box or something.
00:19:43 "My father was an exceptional man.
00:19:48 - "He was born in 19..."
00:19:52 Hi, there, Aaron.
00:19:55 Hi. How's it going?
00:19:57 I'm so sorry to hear about your dad.
00:20:01 Did he ever mention me? I'm sorry. Frank.
00:20:06 Not really.
00:20:07 Honey. Can I see you for a moment?
00:20:10 One second. I got to go, Frank.
00:20:14 Thanks for coming, though.
00:20:16 Be careful with my shit!
00:20:19 Hurry up now! We're late!
00:20:21 Listen, we still need to finish that thing,
00:20:25 Oh, come on, baby,
00:20:27 I'm not wearing any panties.
00:20:30 - Hey, my father's dead. Put some panties on.
00:20:35 Please, honey, I really wanna make this
00:20:38 - We've got five minutes.
00:20:40 - What?
00:20:42 There's a guy down there...
00:20:44 ...in a black leather jacket who keeps
00:20:47 All right, okay, I see him. What?
00:20:48 - Don't stare, don't stare.
00:20:50 You recognise him?
00:20:51 Well, no, but, I mean,
00:20:55 Now I got to go and check the food.
00:20:57 Hey! Put some panties on
00:21:00 Big ones.
00:21:14 - Look! Look.
00:21:17 Isn't it beautiful? Plus, it sings.
00:21:26 - Yep. It's right there.
00:21:29 - It's right there.
00:21:30 - Sounding great. Elaine.
00:21:33 - Hi, inside, yes. What?
00:21:36 - Okay. I got to tell you something, all right?
00:21:37 And I'm just warning you right now
00:21:43 Aaron.
00:21:44 - Uncle Duncan.
00:21:47 You know what, as soon as
00:21:50 Fine. So, what's this nonsense
00:21:54 I offered to do the eulogy,
00:21:58 I'm sure it's gonna be one of a kind.
00:22:01 It's a real shame.
00:22:03 I mean, I'm sure you'll do fine, Aaron,
00:22:06 You know, I'm a writer, too.
00:22:08 Well, we all write checks.
00:22:13 Excuse me?
00:22:14 Uncle Duncan, I have to ask you a question.
00:22:16 - Okay.
00:22:18 Little Martina?
00:22:20 Well, she's not actually related to us
00:22:23 No. No, no, no. She's just a family friend.
00:22:26 Oh, good, good.
00:22:29 - What do you mean, it's not Valium?
00:22:33 What you thought was Valium
00:22:38 - Yikes.
00:22:41 It's like a hallucinogenic.
00:22:43 - Mescaline, acid, Special K.
00:22:45 Served up in a little pill bottle.
00:22:47 - Oh, my God. This isn't funny.
00:22:50 - Look at him. Look at him.
00:22:52 - He's high as a kite.
00:22:53 The man is clearly high.
00:22:54 What are you doing
00:22:56 I'm a pharmacology student, Laney.
00:22:58 And first of all, who just waltzes up
00:23:00 and just starts popping pills?
00:23:02 - Well, I thought it was Valium.
00:23:04 What should I do? Should I tell him?
00:23:05 No, no, no. That'll just freak him out.
00:23:08 - Okay. Okay.
00:23:10 Don't let him spend too much time
00:23:13 - Okay, okay.
00:23:16 He's in a bush right now.
00:23:17 Okay, Oscar? Honey. Come back.
00:23:22 Jeffrey, help me.
00:23:24 Oscar. Oscar.
00:23:25 Oh, man.
00:23:28 Help me! My groin.
00:23:30 It's gonna be your head in a minute.
00:23:33 My scrotum is gonna look like a duffle bag
00:23:35 with two bowling balls in it
00:23:38 That's what your brain is.
00:23:41 Fuck.
00:23:45 Hey.
00:23:50 Oscar. Oscar.
00:23:53 Oh, Dad. Hi.
00:23:57 How are you?
00:23:58 Not too bad,
00:24:01 - Yes, yes, we are.
00:24:03 - Hey.
00:24:05 How're they treating you over there
00:24:06 Good. You know, don't worry about me.
00:24:08 - I'm not worried about you.
00:24:10 Good. Oscar, Oscar.
00:24:14 - So, I see you brought your friend.
00:24:18 Doctor! Good to see you.
00:24:21 - I'm extremely sorry, sir.
00:24:24 Thank you. Elaine. Hello.
00:24:27 So, how's everything going
00:24:29 Could not be better, sir.
00:24:31 In fact, we should get together
00:24:34 and I'll tell you all about it, every last detail.
00:24:36 - Happily.
00:24:38 - Maybe Elaine would join us.
00:24:40 Make it a threesome.
00:24:42 - Elaine!
00:24:45 I'm so sorry about Uncle Edward.
00:24:47 - We're gonna miss him so much.
00:24:50 He bought them for me.
00:24:52 Oh, gosh. Aunt Cynthia, this is Oscar.
00:24:56 I'm so sorry about the death.
00:24:59 - Oh, it's okay.
00:25:01 Amazing grace...
00:25:07 How sweet the sound, yeah!
00:25:13 That saved a wretch like...
00:25:29 Very nice to see both of you.
00:25:30 - It's nice to see you, too, Aunt Cynthia.
00:25:34 - Dad, Dad.
00:25:36 - Okay, so we need a plan.
00:25:39 What is he doing?
00:25:40 - I love you.
00:25:44 Oh, my God.
00:25:45 Come on! Push, you pussy. Lard-ass.
00:25:47 - Did you just fart, old man?
00:25:56 - Hey.
00:25:58 I heard about the engagement, Elaine.
00:26:01 - How did you...
00:26:04 You know, I can't deal with you today.
00:26:07 Oh, don't.
00:26:08 But I have not told my dad yet,
00:26:10 and I would appreciate it
00:26:13 Okay. I'll do that for you.
00:26:16 What is he looking...
00:26:25 - Hey, Elaine, I... Could I...
00:26:27 - Hey, baby.
00:26:30 My father was an exceptional man.
00:26:33 He was born in 1938.
00:26:37 1938 was an exceptional year. In 1938...
00:26:40 Actually, there is something I'd like
00:26:46 Yeah, sure.
00:26:47 Quit crying. You got snot all over
00:26:50 Man, not stairs.
00:26:51 What's wrong with the stairs?
00:26:54 I got to take your old ass up these stairs?
00:26:56 Yeah, you got to take my old ass
00:26:58 - So, you go to a lot of funerals?
00:27:00 I want our wedding to be like this.
00:27:03 You might meet the man of your
00:27:05 Got to go to a funeral
00:27:07 Come on.
00:27:09 This is a bit delicate.
00:27:11 When they gave out brains, man,
00:27:14 You know what, can this wait?
00:27:15 I think my uncle just got here,
00:27:18 - Sure. It's fine.
00:27:20 Thanks a lot.
00:27:22 Told you about breathing on my neck, too.
00:27:23 Hey, I got it. Sit down. I got it. You all right?
00:27:26 - I'm seeing double.
00:27:27 - Is that you, Derek?
00:27:29 Hey, old-timer, how are you?
00:27:31 Hey, thanks a lot, thanks a lot.
00:27:33 - I need something to drink.
00:27:34 - Come on, Norman.
00:27:36 - Get up.
00:27:38 Could you kindly take your seats?
00:27:41 - Watch out now.
00:27:44 Watch out now. Watch out now. I'm family.
00:27:47 God damn it. You got old people here.
00:27:51 - Hey.
00:27:56 Family and friends,
00:27:57 we are gathered here to mourn
00:28:02 I'm sorry. I'm sorry about that.
00:28:05 ...Edward Barnes.
00:28:07 Now, I'd like to begin...
00:28:09 Elaine, I know you don't think
00:28:12 Because you're not, so be quiet.
00:28:14 Yeah, but when you dissed me back there,
00:28:18 You took my parking space.
00:28:22 We almost missed the service.
00:28:24 Norman, you poke me one more time,
00:28:27 Threats, threats.
00:28:32 - What's going on?
00:28:35 Parking spot? My father's dead. Act right.
00:28:40 "Then Jonathan and David made a covenant,
00:28:44 "And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe
00:28:47 "and gave it to David, and his garments,
00:28:49 "even to his sword, and to his bow,
00:28:58 And now we'll hear a word from
00:29:05 Only by a couple of months.
00:29:09 No fault of yours, Mama.
00:29:17 - Last chance.
00:29:20 Daddy's only gonna die once.
00:29:24 Good afternoon.
00:29:26 Or I guess just afternoon,
00:29:27 I mean, it couldn't possibly be that good.
00:29:32 My father was an exceptional man.
00:29:36 And he was born in 1938,
00:29:41 an exceptional year.
00:29:43 In 1938, the number one song
00:29:49 Some of you might remember it.
00:29:53 Mama's little baby love
00:29:57 Mama's little baby love
00:30:02 Also in 1938, Time magazine's
00:30:09 I bet you they wished
00:30:12 One thing my father loved to do
00:30:15 I guess you could call my mother
00:30:19 Anything to do with sharks
00:30:23 - this always fascinated him.
00:30:25 - He really loved The Golden Girls.
00:30:27 Blanche, Dorothy, and Rose.
00:30:28 - That coffin just moved.
00:30:30 - when The Golden Girls were syndicated...
00:30:33 - Elaine.
00:30:35 And sometimes I'd say,
00:30:37 He's alive. There's something alive in there.
00:30:39 - No, there's not...
00:30:41 The coffin's moving. I'm sorry.
00:30:43 - There's somebody in there.
00:30:45 It's moving. I just saw it move.
00:30:46 - Someone's alive in there, trying to get out.
00:30:48 - No, can't you see it?
00:30:49 What the hell is wrong with you people?
00:30:51 Oscar, sit down.
00:30:53 - No, I just need to show you, he's alive.
00:30:55 No, no, I'm gonna show you.
00:30:56 - Get away from there.
00:31:00 - Oh, my God. Ryan! No! No!
00:31:02 Hey! Hey!
00:31:14 The body!
00:31:16 - Cynthia! Cynthia!
00:31:19 No, I'm gonna help, I got to help him.
00:31:21 - No, no!
00:31:23 He's gonna die!
00:31:27 Aaron, you the oldest.
00:31:30 Okay, I will.
00:31:31 Hey!
00:31:33 Jeff.
00:31:34 I'm not all the way comfortable with this.
00:31:36 Come on!
00:31:37 I'm too old for this shit.
00:31:39 - When is this funeral gonna happen?
00:31:43 - Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
00:31:46 - Oh, my God.
00:31:47 - What the fuck was that?
00:31:50 - No, no.
00:31:52 - You need to understand that this is...
00:31:54 My father's sprawled out on the floor
00:31:57 - but it's okay, because you're sorry!
00:31:59 - The coffin was moving. I...
00:32:01 - Talking to me?
00:32:02 - You talking to me?
00:32:03 No, he's not talking to you.
00:32:06 Aaron, no. I will explain later.
00:32:08 Yeah, yeah, can make it up to me
00:32:10 - Baby.
00:32:12 I will not have sex with you right now!
00:32:13 - I wasn't going to ask you that.
00:32:16 - Is everything okay?
00:32:18 - You just...
00:32:19 - Michelle, I'm sorry.
00:32:21 - I'm gonna kill him. I'll kill him.
00:32:23 You fucking moron!
00:32:25 - Dad, Dad! Leave it alone, please, please!
00:32:27 I can't believe you brought this maniac.
00:32:30 This isn't what Oscar's normally like,
00:32:33 He just took some medication and he's...
00:32:35 - Medication?
00:32:36 - and he's having a very bad reaction to it.
00:32:40 Your mother was on Valium for 40 years
00:32:43 - Dad, stop it.
00:32:45 You're gonna pay for that, I promise you!
00:32:51 - Thanks, Jeff.
00:32:54 People, allow me to extend my apologies.
00:32:57 But everything is now being
00:33:00 so, please, enjoy the refreshments.
00:33:02 The catfish nuggets are to die for.
00:33:04 We'll let you know
00:33:06 Let's just burn him and get it over with.
00:33:09 - I'm gonna go have a smoke.
00:33:13 Hey. That must have been horrible for you.
00:33:18 Maybe we should go outside, get some air?
00:33:20 Hey, bigshot. I read your last book there.
00:33:24 - Black Hurt.
00:33:26 I'm not giving you a compliment,
00:33:30 What a load of bullshit.
00:33:35 - Hey, Aaron. Yo, you all right, man?
00:33:39 Yeah. That was heavy-duty,
00:33:40 the way your father
00:33:43 He was like... I was like, "Damn!" Man.
00:33:47 Not now, Norman.
00:33:48 - I got to go somewhere, okay?
00:33:50 Hey, Aaron. But, you know, it's just scary.
00:33:53 You never know when your room
00:33:57 When your room is ready,
00:33:59 And I'm like scared
00:34:01 and I don't know
00:34:04 I know it ain't Chlamydia.
00:34:05 I know what that look like, but this is
00:34:08 - I don't know, man.
00:34:11 He's a doctor.
00:34:12 You know something,
00:34:15 Maybe we're standing still
00:34:18 - No, no, it's not...
00:34:19 Listen to me, the coffin moved.
00:34:21 - I saw it move.
00:34:22 - God, Elaine, am I losing my mind?
00:34:25 - Why are my hands so big?
00:34:29 Elaine, I love this game.
00:34:32 Okay, good.
00:34:35 Okay. What is it, my love?
00:34:38 Remember that Valium
00:34:42 Yes.
00:34:43 Well, it turns out that it wasn't really Valium.
00:34:49 - Did you just hear me?
00:34:53 - Am I going blind in here?
00:34:55 I promise.
00:34:55 I promise.
00:34:56 Hey, Uncle Duncan! Miss Cynthia, Michelle.
00:35:01 I got this thing on my hand
00:35:03 and I was just wondering
00:35:06 I'm not...
00:35:08 Look, you probably should see
00:35:10 - I'm going out to get some air.
00:35:13 I mean... Why? I don't have
00:35:16 No, it looks like a pigment mutation.
00:35:19 A pigment mutation?
00:35:20 You mean like the Incredible Hulk
00:35:22 I can't be turning green out there.
00:35:23 I'm a black man, I'm sensitive,
00:35:26 I can see it now.
00:35:27 Me getting mail from child support,
00:35:31 "Hulk take blood tests on Maury Povich."
00:35:33 You're probably just allergic to something.
00:35:38 - Nuts? Well, what nut mutates?
00:35:43 Somebody gave me hypoallergenic drugs?
00:35:45 - It's a form of hallucinogenic.
00:35:48 - Elaine, Elaine, did you tell him?
00:35:50 - How you feeling, big guy?
00:35:52 Yeah, not, no, yeah.
00:35:53 - Yeah, yeah, a little bit. Hey, listen...
00:35:56 - You fool!
00:35:58 - Let him go! Oh, my God.
00:36:00 Elaine, he's incredibly strong right now.
00:36:02 - I know, and I'm sorry.
00:36:03 - Like eight hours?
00:36:06 Babe, what are you doing?
00:36:08 I'm gonna be sick.
00:36:10 - Jeffrey, this is all your fault.
00:36:14 Shit.
00:36:16 Baby, slow down.
00:36:20 Hey, Elaine. What's going on?
00:36:21 - What are you doing? You following me?
00:36:23 Hey!
00:36:24 - Sorry. You all right?
00:36:27 - Oh, shit.
00:36:29 Excuse me, everyone, he's gonna be sick.
00:36:31 Oscar, sweetie, slow down!
00:36:33 - Oscar! Oscar!
00:36:35 Oscar, no! Don't go in there!
00:36:39 In here, there's a bathroom here. Oh, God.
00:36:44 - Jeez! Oscar.
00:36:46 What are you doing?
00:36:47 Get back or I will blow your head off.
00:36:49 - Get your hands up!
00:36:51 Hands up!
00:36:53 Oscar, baby.
00:36:56 - Are you kidding me? Open this door, baby.
00:36:59 - Honey.
00:37:00 You're locked in, so, please,
00:37:01 - unlock the door, okay?
00:37:02 - Elaine? I can't find the pill bottle.
00:37:08 Oh, shit.
00:37:12 - Oscar, open the door.
00:37:15 - Open the door.
00:37:20 - Oscar, open the door, sweetie.
00:37:25 - That's good.
00:37:28 Motherfucker! Five minutes? Oh, shit!
00:37:33 - Shit, shit, shit, shit!
00:37:36 - Oscar, open the door, please.
00:37:38 why don't you go get something to eat?
00:37:43 Grief does strange things to people,
00:37:46 - Yeah.
00:37:48 there's something I would like
00:37:50 - Could we just do this...
00:37:53 Cocksuckers!
00:37:58 This is lovely.
00:38:02 - So Edward.
00:38:08 You're writing a novel?
00:38:11 Yeah, that's mine.
00:38:14 - Sorry.
00:38:17 Actually, I was writing before my brother.
00:38:20 I got a couple of pieces published in Jet.
00:38:25 That was a while back, though,
00:38:26 and now I'm working mainly
00:38:29 Well, then, you must be very proud of Ryan.
00:38:34 Yeah. Pretty proud.
00:38:37 What did you wanna talk about?
00:38:39 Your father and I were very close.
00:38:42 - That's nice, that's nice.
00:38:45 Okay, well, you know, Dad was a fun guy.
00:38:49 I have some photos I want to show you.
00:38:56 That's me and your dad at
00:39:01 And here we are in West Hollywood,
00:39:05 I don't know if you've ever been,
00:39:13 Oscar.
00:39:17 How'd you get in here?
00:39:18 And here we are at the premiere
00:39:22 I was dressed as Deena
00:39:29 So, how exactly did you know my father?
00:39:49 No. No.
00:39:53 You think you can come in here
00:39:56 by showing me a couple of pictures
00:39:59 So what? I've seen Dreamgirls
00:40:01 Doesn't mean I'm gay.
00:40:03 Steppin' to the bad side
00:40:07 - What's that prove?
00:40:09 I guess he would've told you himself,
00:40:14 Does my mother know?
00:40:15 No. And there's no reason she has to.
00:40:18 Just as long as I get what's owed to me.
00:40:21 Excuse me? What's owed to you?
00:40:25 Well, I deserve something.
00:40:27 Your father and I were lovers
00:40:30 How do you think that makes me feel?
00:40:32 I don't know and I don't care.
00:40:35 I will tell you how it makes me feel. Cheap.
00:40:40 - Like some cheap piece of ass.
00:40:43 What I want is a lot,
00:40:46 - I deserve $30,000.
00:40:50 Are you smoking meth?
00:40:54 I'm trying to buy a house!
00:40:56 I can't give you $30,000!
00:40:57 Now, listen, your father made me
00:41:01 I made certain sacrifices to keep him happy.
00:41:05 Now, I don't want to,
00:41:08 Do you really want me to do that?
00:41:12 Shit!
00:41:19 Wait here.
00:41:24 Okay.
00:41:28 Oh, Aaron.
00:41:30 when we were boys together,
00:41:32 your father used to make us
00:41:36 - Isn't that funny?
00:41:40 - Well, maybe your husband will know.
00:41:45 Sometime today?
00:41:46 Anything I can do to help?
00:41:48 No, I'm fine, thank you.
00:41:54 Oscar, please.
00:41:56 Say, Elaine, what are you doing
00:41:58 I got Usher tickets, front row, Staples Center.
00:42:01 You don't have Usher tickets.
00:42:02 Well, no, not yet,
00:42:03 You know what? Derek, please, go away.
00:42:07 You don't deserve her!
00:42:10 He doesn't.
00:42:12 I'm gonna go find Norman.
00:42:14 So, you've never been to New York?
00:42:15 I've been, with my parents once.
00:42:18 Now, that's not seeing New York.
00:42:22 - When's your birthday?
00:42:29 Yeah. Well, that's my favourite number, girl.
00:42:33 You know, I want you
00:42:35 and come visit me in New York this year.
00:42:39 For me?
00:42:41 All right. Yeah.
00:42:44 Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
00:42:48 - Really?
00:42:49 - Ryan, Ryan, I need to talk to you.
00:42:51 - Ryan, I need to talk...
00:42:53 - I really need to talk to you.
00:42:56 Bro, I'm grieving here.
00:42:58 Martina, could you excuse us?
00:43:01 Hey, SpongeBob is on.
00:43:03 What are you doing?
00:43:06 Remember the guy that came by
00:43:10 - Dude in the leather jacket.
00:43:14 he came by the study, and he showed me
00:43:17 So? So, he showed you some pictures,
00:43:19 - what's wrong with that?
00:43:23 - So, we playing 20 questions now or what?
00:43:28 - No, man. No, no, no, no.
00:43:32 He showed me some pictures
00:43:37 You telling me our father was
00:43:40 - Way down low.
00:43:42 I don't believe that. My father's not gay.
00:43:45 Matter of fact, he's so straight,
00:43:48 And I ain't fucking gay.
00:43:52 Daddy!
00:43:55 I ain't know he did yoga.
00:43:57 Look. He got the wheelbarrow.
00:43:59 - Thanks.
00:43:59 - Thanks.
00:44:01 I don't know what she sees in that poser
00:44:05 - Seems serious, don't it?
00:44:07 I've only been sleeping
00:44:10 - I'm at my wit's end.
00:44:12 - No, dude.
00:44:13 - Me. Pigment mutation?
00:44:18 Well, maybe it's the tiglio,
00:44:22 I don't know what Michael Jackson had
00:44:25 - Okay.
00:44:26 like I was down there or something.
00:44:32 - Hey. Try this cake. It might have nuts in it.
00:44:35 Elaine's dad said I might just be allergic
00:44:38 So, don't eat nuts.
00:44:40 That's what I do when I'm stressed. I eat.
00:44:42 You ain't gonna eat
00:44:44 Just try the cake for me.
00:44:46 Elaine's driving me crazy,
00:44:55 Hey, fathead. Quit slopping down food
00:45:00 I'm gonna wash my hands,
00:45:03 I know you like hot sauce
00:45:06 Come here to papa.
00:45:09 Uncle Russell.
00:45:11 Have you seen a little pill,
00:45:17 - Is that a yes or...
00:45:21 Shit tastes like it got nuts in it. Shit.
00:45:25 - I'm sure we'll start again soon.
00:45:28 - Let's go back inside.
00:45:32 Just one minute.
00:45:33 - Dr Barnes, just one quick...
00:45:40 How you doing, Miss Cynthia?
00:45:41 - You look good.
00:45:43 You hanging in there?
00:45:46 Six different cheeses.
00:45:50 The rigor mortis set in well.
00:45:53 You might just wanna throw an oven mitt
00:45:56 The suit he got on is magnificent, you know.
00:45:59 Looked like Colin Powell.
00:46:04 But did you check the shoes?
00:46:05 'Cause sometimes they take the shoes
00:46:10 - Especially if they're gators.
00:46:15 - Excuse me.
00:46:17 Jesus Christ!
00:46:22 Somebody dropped they pills.
00:46:24 If we don't get him the money right now,
00:46:27 - Let me think. All right? Let me think.
00:46:31 - You gonna have to pay him, then.
00:46:34 I'm gonna have to pay him?
00:46:35 Don't you have a savings or a nest egg?
00:46:39 Aaron, I'm in debt up to my ass.
00:46:45 If I don't get some money soon,
00:46:48 Okay, so, I gotta pay for the funeral,
00:46:52 and now I gotta pull $30,000 out of my ass?
00:46:55 - You know, he's your dad, too.
00:46:57 - By nine months, as you love to point out.
00:47:00 Besides, you been living off
00:47:03 You must've saved some money.
00:47:06 Hey, hey, I've been living with them,
00:47:08 And Dad's been retired for five years.
00:47:09 Who do you think's been paying
00:47:11 Well, if we both got money issues,
00:47:16 Fuck him, Aaron. Fuck him.
00:47:21 Pay the man. Just pay him.
00:47:34 - Are you okay there, friend?
00:47:36 My nephew's dead, and the little bastards
00:47:39 Listen, I think we're just about ready
00:47:42 Just five more minutes, please, please.
00:47:44 Hey, hey, baby, what's going on?
00:47:46 No, we're not gonna be able to move out
00:47:50 Wait. Listen to me.
00:47:54 You know I wouldn't have said it
00:47:56 - Okay, fine, so what's the reason?
00:48:00 Aaron, listen,
00:48:02 but you have some explaining to do.
00:48:04 Just a little more time, okay?
00:48:13 Hey, hey, hey, hey,
00:48:16 - Well, it was on the coffee table.
00:48:20 Well, when someone leaves something
00:48:23 it's assumed it's for everybody.
00:48:26 Those are coffee table rules.
00:48:29 - Can we get to the point here?
00:48:34 So, I write the cheque,
00:48:37 and you stay away from our mother.
00:48:39 - Is that the deal?
00:48:42 Okay.
00:48:45 - What's your last name?
00:48:48 With two "Ts."
00:48:51 - Lovett.
00:48:53 - What?
00:48:56 - Yeah. Yeah, yeah, so?
00:49:03 I tried writing once.
00:49:05 I think it's like a gift.
00:49:09 Must be hard for you, though.
00:49:11 I mean, your brother
00:49:14 Your father and I read Rhonda's Tiny Box
00:49:19 We loved it. He was so proud of you.
00:49:22 Well, thank you. I guess.
00:49:25 - That's it. I can't do it.
00:49:30 What are you doing?
00:49:31 There is no way in the world I'm giving
00:49:35 Hey, don't be stupid, okay?
00:49:37 Now, I'll pay you back
00:49:39 He picks today,
00:49:42 And then on top of that,
00:49:46 - But he got pictures.
00:49:49 He can show them to the world.
00:49:52 Who the fuck does he think he is?
00:49:54 Fine. But this is on your head.
00:49:57 Whoa, whoa. Hold on.
00:50:00 Okay, you need to back off.
00:50:02 - No, no, no. Let's discuss this for a minute.
00:50:05 - No, don't...
00:50:08 You gonna bring a gat to a funeral?
00:50:10 Now, nobody got to get capped. Nobody...
00:50:16 - Get his gun! Get his gun!
00:50:18 - You got any rope? Any duct tape?
00:50:21 I don't just keep rope and duct tape
00:50:24 - I can't see nothing. There you go.
00:50:28 - Hey, use your tie!
00:50:30 - What the fuck am I gonna do with my tie?
00:50:32 All right, first key... First key to war
00:50:37 All right, now, grab that curtain thing.
00:50:42 Tie his legs. Come on, Aaron, damn!
00:50:45 - Feel like I'm in a fucking rodeo!
00:50:50 God damn. Strong, ain't he?
00:50:52 Everything but write a fucking cheque!
00:50:54 You know what was in that cake?
00:50:57 Norman, come in and shut the damn door.
00:51:00 - What's happening?
00:51:01 - Damn!
00:51:03 You know what?
00:51:04 - You think this will calm him down?
00:51:07 - Okay. All right.
00:51:08 Put this jacket under his head
00:51:10 so he don't bite down
00:51:12 I learned that procedure
00:51:13 - Come on.
00:51:16 - Open up, open up.
00:51:18 - Right there. Yes, yes, baby.
00:51:22 - Yeah.
00:51:24 - Did you guys happen to see a little...
00:51:26 Norman, I told you to lock the damn door.
00:51:29 You said, "Shut the damn door," Ryan!
00:51:31 - What's... What's going on?
00:51:33 - Yeah. So, why is he all tied up?
00:51:37 No. That's part of the medical procedure.
00:51:46 Oh, God.
00:52:16 He's blackmailing you? Over what?
00:52:18 If I could tell you,
00:52:21 Hey, look, just trust us. He's the bad guy.
00:52:25 Yeah, well, what are we gonna do with him?
00:52:27 Yeah, what are we gonna do, Ryan?
00:52:29 - I don't know. Okay? You think, people.
00:52:32 Why don't you write something
00:52:35 - How long's that Valium gonna last?
00:52:38 I found a bottle of Valium,
00:52:40 so we gave him a few,
00:52:45 You gave him a few of these? Oh, shit.
00:52:47 - What?
00:52:49 See...
00:52:52 I just gave him a few Valium.
00:52:54 I found them on the ground outside.
00:53:00 All right, see, here's the story.
00:53:02 All right. Everybody calling
00:53:05 - they're wrong, 'cause it's not Valium.
00:53:08 It's more like acid mixed with acid,
00:53:12 And Oscar took one earlier by mistake,
00:53:16 Jeff, what are you doing with that stuff?
00:53:17 I just whipped up a simple batch for a friend.
00:53:19 - What friend, Amy Winehouse?
00:53:23 You telling us that Elaine's boyfriend,
00:53:24 old boy
00:53:26 - only had one of those things?
00:53:29 - Oh, shit.
00:53:30 - And you gave him how many?
00:53:33 Four or five? Jesus, Norman!
00:53:36 - I thought they were Valium.
00:53:39 Jeff, I thought they were Valium.
00:53:40 - But five?
00:53:41 I mean, I wouldn't give somebody
00:53:43 See, that's 'cause the wave cap is too tight.
00:53:45 Okay, okay,
00:53:47 If anyone finds out
00:53:49 we could all be arrested. TMZ, here I come.
00:53:52 - Could he die?
00:53:54 - What?
00:53:56 No! Crazy. Maybe.
00:53:59 A little bit. Possibly. It depends.
00:54:01 Aaron? Ryan, honey?
00:54:04 We need to get things started.
00:54:06 Ma, we'll be right out.
00:54:09 Okay, look, look, look.
00:54:11 We gotta buy some time
00:54:13 You two stay here and watch him.
00:54:15 What you mean, us stay here and watch...
00:54:16 Norman, just make sure
00:54:18 Just lock the door behind us.
00:54:20 This is all your fault.
00:54:23 - Ever since the ninth grade...
00:54:27 Hey, Mom. How's it going?
00:54:29 Reverend Davis wants to talk
00:54:33 - Aaron, where's your tie?
00:54:39 Now, look, I have been patient,
00:54:43 If we don't resume this funeral pretty soon,
00:54:45 we gonna have to have a little conversation
00:54:48 Sure. Could I get five more minutes?
00:54:52 Why are you making me
00:54:54 - Just hear me out, okay?
00:54:55 The only reason you won't go out with me
00:54:57 - is 'cause your dad likes me.
00:55:01 - Can you... Can I get some help, please?
00:55:04 - Can you stop that?
00:55:06 The real reason why I don't wanna go out
00:55:10 We had a couple of intense months,
00:55:13 - but then I realised that we just...
00:55:20 - I bought you a watch, right?
00:55:23 - Why?
00:55:25 What about our first night together?
00:55:28 - That was amazing. Transcendent.
00:55:30 You could've been a donkey for all I knew.
00:55:33 - Thank you.
00:55:37 Go away. Go away.
00:55:39 You still think about me though, don't you?
00:55:47 What is wrong with him?
00:55:48 It's beautiful.
00:56:02 There's still no potato salad.
00:56:02 There's still no potato salad.
00:56:07 - Hey, Uncle Russell.
00:56:09 No, you... That belongs to this lady.
00:56:11 She don't need it. It's mine now.
00:56:16 What's your problem, son?
00:56:17 It's women.
00:56:19 No such thing as having a woman
00:56:22 - Right.
00:56:23 - they wouldn't let us touch them.
00:56:25 Yeah. Let me tell you something
00:56:28 Smarter than you think they are,
00:56:31 but not nearly as smart
00:56:34 Sweet bitches.
00:56:37 Yeah. I don't get it.
00:56:40 I can't believe she doesn't feel the way I do.
00:56:42 - She's just playing hard to get.
00:56:44 - She wants you to work for it a bit.
00:56:46 A woman wants a man who can control her.
00:56:49 - Yeah, you think so? Is that what it is?
00:56:54 - Shake her?
00:56:55 - You want me to shake her?
00:56:58 - Yeah, okay.
00:57:02 I just don't know if that'll go over so well.
00:57:05 - Man.
00:57:06 I gotta take a shit.
00:57:10 Hey, hey, hey, Norman! I gotta take a crap!
00:57:13 - Look at his eyes. That doesn't look normal.
00:57:17 Hello?
00:57:18 - Hello?
00:57:20 - I need the toilet, open up!
00:57:23 Open the door.
00:57:25 - Can't you use the one upstairs?
00:57:29 How am I supposed
00:57:30 - What are we gonna do?
00:57:31 - Open the fucking door!
00:57:35 Shit. Man, I need the toilet. Open up.
00:57:42 Norman!
00:57:45 - Open the goddamn door!
00:57:48 I need the toilet, you fat bastard.
00:57:53 - Sorry, sorry.
00:57:55 to get the key, Uncle Russell.
00:57:57 So you could use the bathroom,
00:58:00 Now open the fucking door!
00:58:03 What the hell is going on here?
00:58:07 Uncle Russell.
00:58:08 Get your ass out here.
00:58:11 Come on, Aaron, think.
00:58:13 - I'm thinking, I'm thinking.
00:58:15 - Stop thinking and do something.
00:58:18 - You the one that tied him up.
00:58:20 I been looking out for Mom
00:58:22 you pompous piece of shit.
00:58:24 You just can't get over it, can you?
00:58:25 You burning with jealousy, all because I left
00:58:29 I couldn't just leave my family.
00:58:31 I got Mom, I got Dad, I got a wife.
00:58:35 Don't put it off on responsibility.
00:58:37 You spent three years on a novel,
00:58:40 What you gonna do? Wait until you're dead?
00:58:42 What you think you're gonna be,
00:58:46 At least I'm not some hack writing
00:58:49 The secret is it sucks.
00:58:51 Mr Black Hurt, it hurts to read that shit.
00:58:54 Mr No Ink. Mr Blank Page.
00:58:59 At least my shit gets published.
00:59:00 That's what it's about,
00:59:02 - Don't put your hand on me, Aaron.
00:59:04 - Don't touch me, man.
00:59:06 - Is that what you...
00:59:08 What you wanna do, punch me?
00:59:10 No. Why would I do that
00:59:14 - Here, look. How does that feel?
00:59:19 I'm telling Mom.
00:59:21 - I'm telling Mom.
00:59:23 Don't you tell Mama! Don't you tell Mama!
00:59:25 - Aaron, you wrong.
00:59:27 - I got your...
00:59:28 - Go! Not now!
00:59:29 - Get a brick or something.
00:59:31 - Get off me. Tell her.
00:59:35 - What?
00:59:39 Remember the guy with the leather jacket?
00:59:43 Of course, yeah, your father's friend.
00:59:44 Okay, I don't know how to tell you this,
00:59:48 Were being intimate.
00:59:51 - They were having sex, Michelle.
00:59:53 - Yeah.
00:59:58 - I mean, maybe he's here making the...
01:00:00 And what makes things worse
01:00:02 - is now this guy wants $30,000.
01:00:05 Or else he's gonna start showing pictures
01:00:08 - Stuff? Like what kind of stuff?
01:00:14 Oh, my!
01:00:17 - Okay.
01:00:18 - I got a goddamn torpedo coming down.
01:00:20 Get my pants.
01:00:22 - You do that by yourself!
01:00:25 I'm goddamn handicapped!
01:00:27 - Don't leave me here...
01:00:29 My drawers! My drawers! Come on!
01:00:33 Wait a minute.
01:00:35 - That's the snake in my mouth.
01:00:37 - No! No! My hand is stuck!
01:00:41 - I love these padded seats.
01:00:44 No, Uncle Russell! Please!
01:00:55 Please come off. Please come off, man.
01:00:58 How does something like that happen?
01:01:01 Norman. Norman!
01:01:04 Jeff, please, get me a towel. Please.
01:01:08 - What?
01:01:12 No! No! No! Please, God. No!
01:01:22 - Norman. Norman, calm down. Calm down.
01:01:25 I think I got some of it in my mouth.
01:01:27 Norman! Pull yourself together!
01:01:30 Would you rather be shitty-mouthed
01:01:34 You right, you right.
01:01:36 Everything is copastetic. I'm gonna forget
01:01:39 - I'm just gonna hold my breath for a second.
01:01:45 - Shit.
01:01:47 How the... How the... How the fuck did he...
01:01:50 - Check him.
01:01:52 Hey. Are you okay, man?
01:01:56 Oh, shit.
01:01:59 - Hey, buddy.
01:02:02 - You okay?
01:02:04 - What's his name?
01:02:06 - Larry, try Larry.
01:02:08 Shake him.
01:02:10 - Hey, hey, Larry?
01:02:11 - Yo, Larry?
01:02:14 Try another one. Bert, Ernie, I don't know,
01:02:17 I'm gonna check to see if he's breathing,
01:02:18 'cause that's what people
01:02:19 I'm gonna check to make sure he's
01:02:22 Lord Jesus, please let him be breathing.
01:02:25 - Shit.
01:02:28 He's dead.
01:02:31 We're just gonna give this
01:02:35 - It's not quite that simple.
01:02:37 Aaron refused to pay.
01:02:38 - Well, how come you couldn't pay, Ryan?
01:02:40 Besides, the only reason
01:02:43 is because little man was talking shit
01:02:46 - Hey, hey, hey, hey, no.
01:02:49 Your novel?
01:02:51 You won't let me read your novel,
01:02:55 - I didn't let him.
01:02:57 Really, Aaron? Really?
01:03:02 Thanks a lot.
01:03:05 Let her go. She'll get over it.
01:03:08 Hey. At least that white guy finally got
01:03:13 Let me get this straight.
01:03:15 Our father was having gay sex
01:03:19 and you're mad 'cause he's white?
01:03:21 I don't give a fuck 'cause...
01:03:26 Grieving.
01:03:30 Hey, hi.
01:03:33 What the fuck is he doing now?
01:03:35 Norman. Why are you grinning
01:03:39 Aaron, Ryan,
01:03:47 Smells like shit.
01:03:49 Excuse me.
01:03:54 What? Wait a minute, wait a minute.
01:03:56 Somebody call an ambulance.
01:03:59 It's... It's... There's no point.
01:04:02 What do you mean, there's no point?
01:04:03 I mean, look at him, Aaron. He's dead.
01:04:05 You mean, like dead dead?
01:04:07 - Is there any other kind of dead, Aaron?
01:04:09 - We didn't do nothing.
01:04:11 When we left, he was alive,
01:04:13 and I was expecting to find him that way
01:04:15 He got in a fight with the table
01:04:19 - This is really bad.
01:04:20 - Guys, what are we gonna do?
01:04:22 I think I have somewhere else to be
01:04:24 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
01:04:26 Ryan, I can't go to jail. I'm not jail type.
01:04:28 You know how fast a rash spreads
01:04:31 Cut that shit out.
01:04:34 Nobody knows his name.
01:04:36 Didn't notice him? He's four fucking feet tall.
01:04:39 All we gotta do is get rid of the body.
01:04:40 - It'll be like he came and left.
01:04:42 put it on Craigslist?
01:04:43 Takes me two months to get rid of a couch!
01:04:47 Wait.
01:04:49 Did anybody see the size
01:04:55 You wanna bury him with our father?
01:04:58 I mean, why not?
01:05:01 - Come on.
01:05:03 You gotta admit it makes sense, Aaron.
01:05:05 The coffin's here, the hole's in the ground.
01:05:08 I mean, unless you got a better suggestion,
01:05:11 I say we bury the motherfucker.
01:05:13 It's funny. No matter what you say
01:05:18 I'm still convinced
01:05:22 Well, we all make mistakes, don't we?
01:05:24 Elaine, I'm serious.
01:05:27 So, you might as well do whatever it is
01:05:30 Maybe I found something outside of myself
01:05:33 And maybe you should, too, Derek.
01:05:35 And I'm not talking about my father
01:05:39 Well, that's just...
01:05:43 - I care about you, Elaine.
01:05:47 You care about me in relation to
01:05:49 Not true, Elaine. I deserve you. I do.
01:05:52 - Get over yourself.
01:05:54 What is it about this guy?
01:05:56 Not success, right? Right?
01:05:58 Well, for one thing, he's caring.
01:06:00 - Come on.
01:06:01 to help somebody in need,
01:06:02 - and that's all Oscar ever does.
01:06:04 He helps people. He's considerate.
01:06:07 - He's thoughtful. He's stable.
01:06:09 He's a bunch of things
01:06:11 - Like naked on the roof.
01:06:13 Boy.
01:06:15 Oh, my God! Oscar!
01:06:16 Listen to me,
01:06:19 What are you doing?
01:06:20 - I don't know, but come here.
01:06:26 - Elaine? Oh, God.
01:06:29 - Elaine!
01:06:30 - Seriously.
01:06:32 Oscar, it's okay. What are you doing?
01:06:35 - Could've had something beautiful, Elaine...
01:06:37 ...but you had to ruin it.
01:06:40 Oscar! What are you doing?
01:06:42 - What am I doing?
01:06:43 - I saw you kissing him.
01:06:45 - No, I wasn't kissing him!
01:06:46 - You just kissed him!
01:06:48 - I swear to you.
01:06:49 - You're a cheater.
01:06:50 She cheated on me. I'm gonna jump.
01:06:52 - No! Honey! Honey, please, calm down.
01:06:55 You guys are perfect for each other.
01:06:56 - You have drugs in your system.
01:06:57 Oscar. No!
01:06:59 Oscar, get back here! Honey, please!
01:07:02 - I'm gonna jump.
01:07:04 Oscar! Oh, my God!
01:07:07 - Oscar, are you okay?
01:07:11 Look at all you ants. Shit.
01:07:15 Shit, this is high up. Jesus Christ.
01:07:19 So, how we gonna get him to the coffin?
01:07:22 What about that Louis Vuitton bag
01:07:25 We could fit two of him in there.
01:07:27 You know, Aaron, this ain't about us. Okay?
01:07:33 - We should smuggle him in the laundry bag.
01:07:37 Like they do in the prison movies.
01:07:40 - Norman, it's Derek, let me in.
01:07:43 - All right, let's put him in the bathroom.
01:07:44 - Hold on!
01:07:46 Hold on! I'm trying to find my pants!
01:07:49 - What pants?
01:07:51 Man, open the door. It's an emergency.
01:07:54 - Norman, please, let me in.
01:07:55 What the hell? Aaron?
01:07:57 What the hell's Uncle Russell doing
01:07:59 - He had to go!
01:08:02 - What the hell's wrong with you?
01:08:04 Aaron? Open the door. Let me in.
01:08:09 - Hey, hey.
01:08:10 I gotta talk to Norman right now.
01:08:12 Yeah, I'm here. What's up?
01:08:14 Hey, man, it's Oscar.
01:08:17 - The hell's going on in here?
01:08:20 It's Oscar, man. He went crazy.
01:08:23 He saw me kissing Elaine
01:08:26 - You were kissing Elaine?
01:08:31 - Shit!
01:08:33 I gotta... I gotta go.
01:08:34 - Whoa, hold up. Where you going, big boy?
01:08:37 my sister's gonna kill me.
01:08:38 You know I wouldn't jump ship,
01:08:40 Shit! I gotta go. Lock up. Don't kill anybody.
01:08:48 - She's cheating on me! That girl right there.
01:08:51 - I'm gonna jump now.
01:08:54 - She cheated on me!
01:08:55 I didn't do anything! He kissed me!
01:08:57 Oscar! Try to get down.
01:08:59 Please, come down, baby.
01:09:01 - I don't want you to hurt yourself.
01:09:03 cheating on me right in front of me.
01:09:05 - Can we just talk about it in here?
01:09:07 - had a dada, something, something.
01:09:10 You be quiet, Jezebel!
01:09:14 - I'm coming up.
01:09:16 You don't wanna come back inside,
01:09:17 - so I'm coming up.
01:09:19 - You can't... Don't come up here!
01:09:22 - Elaine. Elaine!
01:09:24 One more step, I'm...
01:09:27 - Elaine!
01:09:29 - Elaine!
01:09:31 What are you doing? Elaine!
01:09:33 - Hey.
01:09:35 - God, what are you doing now?
01:09:37 I think I can get rid of this guy,
01:09:39 and make sure that nobody comes in, okay?
01:09:41 Okay, fine, fine, fine. I'll do what I can.
01:09:43 - But, listen, you owe me.
01:09:44 - Big time.
01:09:46 - All the sperm you want.
01:09:48 - Don't.
01:09:50 Okay.
01:09:55 - Who is it?
01:09:57 Who do you think it is? Open the door.
01:10:02 Everybody's outside.
01:10:05 - Well, let's do it.
01:10:07 - Let me get my arms up.
01:10:09 - You got that?
01:10:10 Just because he's dead
01:10:13 - He's small, but he's heavy as shit.
01:10:16 - Come on. You go first.
01:10:17 - All right.
01:10:18 I wish Dad would've picked a smaller guy.
01:10:20 Quick.
01:10:23 Quick.
01:10:25 You got it. Come on.
01:10:27 - Make sure no one comes in.
01:10:35 Hey there, young fellow.
01:10:37 - Hey, Reverend!
01:10:39 There's something I wanna ask you.
01:10:40 At what age did you decide
01:10:43 Watch out, watch out, watch out, watch out.
01:10:47 - I really need to use the phone.
01:10:49 - Was there one inside here?
01:10:51 but I need to make a confession.
01:10:52 - I'm not a priest.
01:10:55 It's just that, I know that I've been touched
01:11:10 I'm addicted to strip clubs.
01:11:11 The smell, the pole, the stretch marks,
01:11:15 I didn't know nothing about whip cream.
01:11:19 so if I eat whip cream in the wrong place,
01:11:26 - Got him?
01:11:35 We can't just leave him like this.
01:11:41 Well, in a strange way,
01:11:44 Come on, man.
01:11:48 Just forget it, man.
01:11:51 Why you gotta say shit like that?
01:11:54 Why don't you try laughing, enjoying life?
01:11:57 Be spontaneous for once.
01:11:59 It might make you a better writer.
01:12:02 - You done?
01:12:04 Let's do this.
01:12:06 Just this light came down on me,
01:12:08 - but they were dressed like strippers.
01:12:10 I really need to make a phone call.
01:12:12 - and he's about to jump.
01:12:13 - He gonna be jumping for joy after I get...
01:12:15 But, Reverend, I haven't finished telling you.
01:12:18 - I met Shalawnda in the strip club.
01:12:22 Bye, Dad.
01:12:28 - Oscar...
01:12:30 - or I'm gonna jump off this roof.
01:12:32 - What were you doing with him, then?
01:12:34 - I saw you kissing him passionately.
01:12:37 It doesn't matter. I'll never be good enough.
01:12:39 - That's not true.
01:12:41 - I'm never gonna be good enough for you.
01:12:43 - No, you go inside.
01:12:45 Why should I?
01:12:47 Because you're gonna be a father.
01:12:53 - I'm pregnant?
01:12:56 - I'm pregnant.
01:13:00 Yes. We're pregnant.
01:13:03 - We're gonna have a baby?
01:13:05 Really?
01:13:09 Baby, you scared me. Don't do that.
01:13:13 We're having a baby!
01:13:17 - Great.
01:13:19 I wish somebody would give me a baby.
01:13:21 You blew it, son!
01:13:22 This is... It's upsetting for me, too.
01:13:25 I'm gonna go check on Cynthia.
01:13:26 Aaron? Hurry up! People are coming inside!
01:13:30 Aaron! Is he gone?
01:13:34 - Looks like it.
01:13:37 Everything's cool. It's...
01:13:40 - Cool.
01:13:41 - Can we go now?
01:13:43 - Okay.
01:13:45 Oh, my God!
01:13:47 Oscar, hold on! Oh, my God!
01:13:49 Honey. Oh, shit.
01:13:51 - Jeff!
01:13:53 - Jeff! Jeff, help me, please!
01:13:56 - Elaine, stay right there!
01:13:57 - I got him, I got him.
01:13:58 Someone's coming up. You're gonna be fine.
01:14:01 - Jeff!
01:14:02 Pull yourself back up!
01:14:05 Jeff! Jeff, hurry up!
01:14:08 - Pull yourself back up!
01:14:11 - Somebody, help me, please!
01:14:13 - Jeff!
01:14:14 - Oscar, I'm coming!
01:14:16 Oscar!
01:14:19 Baby, please, help me, help me.
01:14:22 - Who's that?
01:14:24 - Jeff! It's Jeff!
01:14:26 My manhood is being questioned right now.
01:14:28 Just... Come on.
01:14:31 - You have him?
01:14:33 - Okay. I'm letting go now!
01:14:35 - You're okay, Jeff has you.
01:14:37 I could use some help here, please.
01:14:39 - Yeah.
01:14:41 - You're so beautiful.
01:14:43 I love you!
01:14:49 Hi, Miss Cynthia.
01:14:51 Norman.
01:14:53 Is that you?
01:14:56 Aaron?
01:14:58 - Aaron, I really think we should start again.
01:15:02 Ryan, thank you so much
01:15:05 I am really so glad you're here.
01:15:11 Where's Uncle Russell?
01:15:14 I'm starting to feel better.
01:15:16 - Good.
01:15:19 And you, Jeff. Thank you.
01:15:22 Thank you, Jeff.
01:15:26 - That was very brave.
01:15:29 Listen, no offence, but, like, me and you
01:15:34 - Okay.
01:15:38 - Jeff.
01:15:39 Thank you.
01:15:40 I need to go get,
01:15:44 Oh, God. Oh, baby.
01:15:48 - Oh, shit.
01:15:52 I'm sorry, Dad. I'm just...
01:15:56 Do you have those buttons there?
01:15:57 - Yeah.
01:15:58 - Elaine.
01:16:00 - Thank God you're safe.
01:16:02 And you. You imbecile.
01:16:06 Stay away from my daughter.
01:16:07 - Look, Dad...
01:16:10 No! I'm not gonna stay out of it.
01:16:14 You don't like it, too bad.
01:16:17 If you wanna have me
01:16:19 you better change your attitude.
01:16:24 - I love you.
01:16:28 Yeah.
01:16:31 I love you, too, Dad.
01:16:36 What the fuck's going on in here?
01:16:38 - Sorry, Uncle Russell.
01:16:40 Somebody was on the roof,
01:16:44 Okay, I got your pants.
01:16:46 Never mind that. What about
01:16:49 - What...
01:16:50 - No dead body.
01:16:52 I know a dead man when I see one.
01:16:55 Let's go, God damn it.
01:16:58 - How's the... How's the skin thing?
01:17:01 I'm more concerned with the shit smell.
01:17:04 Yeah, yeah, but the thing on your hand,
01:17:08 That'll clear it right up.
01:17:10 The shit thing, I can't help you with.
01:17:12 I would recommend a shower or a bath.
01:17:14 - Thanks.
01:17:17 - I'm sorry about the whole Elaine thing, man.
01:17:20 Did you hear she's gonna have a kid?
01:17:24 - No.
01:17:27 Well, this shit's been crazy.
01:17:28 You have people falling out of the casket,
01:17:34 Can I have the keys?
01:17:35 - What?
01:17:37 - Okay.
01:17:39 Hey.
01:17:42 - Love you.
01:17:44 I saw him! He was dead!
01:17:46 - I know you did, Uncle Russell. We all did.
01:17:49 No, dumbshit. In the bathroom.
01:17:53 I cannot believe
01:17:56 I don't know, I think it's kind of exciting.
01:18:01 - Listen, about that stuff earlier, I...
01:18:07 - Agreed?
01:18:08 Let's just get through this day
01:18:09 and then we'll worry
01:18:12 I still have to give this eulogy.
01:18:14 After everything I found out.
01:18:17 We've really got
01:18:19 We've really got
01:18:20 Look, we're gonna have
01:18:23 I mean, I've already missed a funeral
01:18:25 - Yeah, yeah, sure. Let's... Let's start.
01:18:29 - No!
01:18:31 All right.
01:18:34 Everybody in their seats now.
01:18:37 - You with the hat?
01:18:38 Sit on down.
01:18:39 Now, I'd like to apologise
01:18:42 for all of the distractions.
01:18:46 Aaron, the oldest son, would like to say
01:18:51 Thank you.
01:19:00 Okay.
01:19:03 "My father was an exceptional man.
01:19:15 "He was born in 19..."
01:19:20 - What the hell is going on now?
01:19:22 I knew it! I knew it!
01:19:24 "He was born in 1930..."
01:19:30 Shit.
01:19:33 Shit.
01:19:36 What the fuck!
01:19:37 What the fuck you doing
01:19:45 Edward, I miss you!
01:19:48 Leave me with my Edward!
01:19:51 My picture. My beautiful memories!
01:19:57 No, Mama, don't. Give me...
01:20:00 You bastard!
01:20:11 My father!
01:20:14 My father was an exceptional man.
01:20:23 Did he have his faults?
01:20:28 Yeah.
01:20:31 But he worked hard for his family.
01:20:34 All I wanted to do today
01:20:36 was tell him how much we all loved,
01:20:43 Is that really too much to ask for?
01:20:47 So, maybe he loved Dreamgirls
01:20:52 But, hey, life is complicated.
01:20:56 We do our best.
01:20:58 And Dad, he did his best.
01:21:02 One thing he did
01:21:05 was teach us to chase after our dreams.
01:21:09 So, when you leave here today,
01:21:11 I want you to remember my father
01:21:15 a loving, kind, gentle man,
01:21:22 who never cast disparaging remarks
01:21:27 or held prejudice against any race,
01:21:34 or height.
01:21:36 And if I turn out to be just half the man
01:21:41 then the child I'm planning on having
01:21:47 will be truly blessed.
01:21:55 Thank you.
01:21:59 Well done, son.
01:22:03 It's gonna be good, boy.
01:22:06 Good job.
01:22:10 Oscar, let's not do this again.
01:22:15 I always thought he had a little sugar
01:22:30 Hey, how's Mom holding up?
01:22:32 She's good. Resting.
01:22:36 You know, it's gonna take a while
01:22:42 You know.
01:22:43 She'll be okay.
01:22:45 You know, that was a pretty good send-off
01:22:49 Some guy I met told me
01:22:52 Yeah, well, Dad would've been proud.
01:22:56 Maybe when you're ready, you'll let me
01:22:59 Yeah.
01:23:01 - Yeah, I'm gonna send it to you next week.
01:23:04 - But you know Michelle gotta read it first.
01:23:07 I'm not going through that again.
01:23:10 All right. Well, thanks, big bro.
01:23:13 Sure you don't wanna stay another day?
01:23:16 Got a good Laker game coming up.
01:23:19 - Your boy, Kobe.
01:23:22 I'd just be feeling sad or be in the way.
01:23:24 You know how it is.
01:23:27 You know, do my thing. Still gotta grieve.
01:23:31 Me, too.
01:23:39 What? A brother's gotta get to the airport.
01:23:42 Come on, you better make sure
01:23:46 - Hey.
01:23:48 - Sis.
01:23:50 - don't stay away so long next time, okay?
01:23:54 Hey, next funeral.
01:23:57 - Love you, man.
01:24:05 Wow, I see he got his ride.
01:24:07 Yeah. R. Kelly used the same car service.
01:24:16 Just like candy.
01:24:23 I am worn out. This has been a long day.
01:24:27 A long, long day.
01:24:30 - And guess what?
01:24:35 Now I'm interested.
01:24:38 No Mama. No guests. No Uncle Russell.
01:24:44 - Where's Uncle Russell?
01:24:47 I gave him a couple Valium
01:24:52 What?
01:24:54 Shit. Man.
01:24:57 Everything's so fucking green.