Death Proof
|
00:02:55 |
Hold on, I gotta come up! |
00:02:57 |
I've gotta take |
00:02:59 |
We can't be late! |
00:03:01 |
We won't! |
00:03:26 |
Who's... who's holding? |
00:03:28 |
If you're not, then nobody. |
00:03:29 |
We were kind of hoping you were. |
00:03:31 |
- Yeah. How are you not holding? |
00:03:34 |
It is not my fucking job to supply y'all |
00:03:37 |
Whoa, whoa, |
00:03:39 |
You're gettin' angry kind of quick, |
00:03:41 |
I was just teasin' you! |
00:03:42 |
I'm not angry. |
00:03:44 |
if y'all didn't just count on me |
00:03:47 |
and surprise me |
00:03:50 |
Okay, mean girl |
00:03:52 |
Are you through |
00:03:53 |
I'm not having a tantrum. |
00:03:54 |
Yes, you are. You've been |
00:03:57 |
and you're already cursing at me. |
00:03:58 |
I am not cursing at you. |
00:04:00 |
You said "Jesus Christ, Shanna," |
00:04:04 |
and then before |
00:04:06 |
you threw a "fucking" in there |
00:04:08 |
Come on, don't fight. |
00:04:11 |
One, it is not about the money. |
00:04:15 |
And two, we're not really fighting. |
00:04:17 |
Arlene, you've forgotten what |
00:04:21 |
That wasn't a fight. |
00:04:22 |
That was Julia |
00:04:25 |
and me calling her on it |
00:04:29 |
That's how we tolerate each other |
00:04:32 |
Oh! Billboard! |
00:04:37 |
So, what's the plan, man? |
00:04:39 |
Margaritas and Mexican food at Guero's. |
00:04:41 |
Did you call Rafael |
00:04:43 |
- Of course. |
00:04:45 |
I know. |
00:04:46 |
Okay, is Christian Simonson |
00:04:49 |
You bet your ass he is... |
00:04:51 |
Christian Simonson, |
00:04:54 |
He's got a big thing for Julia. |
00:04:56 |
If he had a big thing for me, |
00:04:58 |
as opposed to disappearing |
00:05:00 |
and he'd get his ass down here |
00:05:02 |
And on my birthday |
00:05:05 |
Oh, billboard! |
00:05:14 |
Yeah, but you get |
00:05:17 |
and it's all over. |
00:05:18 |
Yeah, well, when I'm redecorating his |
00:05:21 |
I'll let you know it worked. |
00:05:23 |
So, margaritas |
00:05:26 |
touch base with Chris and Jesse, |
00:05:28 |
and make damn sure they come. |
00:05:30 |
Those other guys'll be waiting for us |
00:05:33 |
Oh, shit. Speaking of which... |
00:05:37 |
what happened |
00:05:38 |
Well, you know, not much. |
00:05:41 |
If you don't bust their balls a little bit, |
00:05:44 |
Okay, we're pretty clear |
00:05:46 |
How about enlightening us |
00:05:49 |
Oh, nothing to write home about. |
00:05:51 |
We just made out on the couch |
00:05:53 |
Dressed, half-dressed, or naked? |
00:05:55 |
Dressed. I said we made out. |
00:05:58 |
Oh, excuse me for living, |
00:06:01 |
You know, it's everything but. |
00:06:03 |
They call that "the thing"? |
00:06:05 |
I call it "the thing." |
00:06:07 |
Do guys like "the thing"? |
00:06:09 |
They like it better than "no thing." |
00:06:12 |
Okay, I wanna get back |
00:06:15 |
So you're making out |
00:06:16 |
Correct. |
00:06:17 |
Whose couch? |
00:06:19 |
What am I, stupid over here? Mine. |
00:06:21 |
Were you making out |
00:06:23 |
We started sitting up, |
00:06:26 |
Hmm. The plot thickens. |
00:06:29 |
I was straddling him. |
00:06:32 |
What else? |
00:06:33 |
That was it. So we made out |
00:06:36 |
and I said, "Okay, I'm gonna go to bed now, |
00:06:41 |
And then he starts to whine, |
00:06:44 |
And I said, |
00:06:47 |
And he says, "Wait, what about this?" |
00:06:49 |
He said, "What do you mean? |
00:06:51 |
I said, "I already know what you're |
00:06:55 |
He said, "Well, how can you say |
00:06:56 |
And I said, "Because you're gonna say, |
00:06:59 |
'We don't gotta do nothing. |
00:07:00 |
'Just cuddle, |
00:07:02 |
wake up in the morning together."' |
00:07:04 |
"No. You're gonna leave... |
00:07:08 |
Yeah, fuck Nate. |
00:07:09 |
I mean, he's cute and all, |
00:07:10 |
but Jesse Letterman |
00:07:13 |
Remember... |
00:07:17 |
You can hang out with them, |
00:07:20 |
but no hookin' up with them, |
00:07:22 |
because we are driving |
00:07:26 |
and my daddy's pretty clear |
00:07:28 |
He said, "I am lettin' you |
00:07:33 |
not you and a bunch of horny boys trying |
00:07:37 |
- Your dad talks like that? |
00:07:40 |
And it's not like |
00:07:42 |
because when I'm staying at the lake house |
00:07:46 |
Daddy just has a tendency to pop up |
00:07:51 |
Look, he's totally harmless |
00:07:55 |
But you know, when he's got |
00:07:58 |
walking the floor of his lake house, |
00:08:00 |
he just likes to pay us a visit |
00:08:03 |
And if you flirt shamelessly with him, |
00:08:05 |
like the six-foot baby giraffe |
00:08:08 |
you got a puppy dog for life. |
00:08:10 |
I have my own relationship with Ben, |
00:08:11 |
and you're just jealous |
00:08:13 |
You call her dad "Ben"? |
00:08:15 |
I'm not a child. |
00:08:17 |
So, when are the boys |
00:08:19 |
They're gonna meet us |
00:08:21 |
Maybe they can bring some pot. |
00:08:23 |
Fuck that. No. |
00:08:25 |
I don't wanna be either A, |
00:08:27 |
or B, depending on their ass. |
00:08:28 |
If we don't score ourselves, |
00:08:30 |
we're gonna be stuck with them |
00:08:33 |
Try Lanna-Frank. |
00:08:35 |
Best idea you had all day. |
00:08:36 |
Oh, hey! That's your |
00:08:40 |
Oh, come on, give me a break. |
00:08:42 |
Oh, come on, my ass! |
00:08:44 |
Okay. |
00:09:00 |
Jules, let me get a drag. |
00:09:02 |
Thanks. |
00:09:34 |
Oh, my God. |
00:09:35 |
Hey, this is... |
00:09:38 |
Hey. |
00:09:39 |
- You wanna join us? |
00:09:44 |
So, you must be... must be... |
00:09:46 |
So, you must be |
00:09:50 |
She don't know nothing about it. |
00:09:52 |
- Know about what? |
00:09:54 |
- Soon. |
00:09:55 |
Yeah, now thanks to you, |
00:09:58 |
All right, cut the shit. |
00:10:00 |
I said a little something-something |
00:10:03 |
Julia, what the fuck |
00:10:05 |
All I said was I had |
00:10:08 |
who was in from out-of-town |
00:10:10 |
and we would be going out |
00:10:13 |
and if they were out on the town, |
00:10:16 |
And I described you, and I said |
00:10:20 |
if they'd do something, |
00:10:23 |
Okay, now, Julia, I'm serious. |
00:10:25 |
What did you say |
00:10:27 |
Anywho, I could explain what I said, |
00:10:31 |
or Marcy over here, |
00:10:34 |
who is an incredible actress, |
00:10:36 |
which I think will give you a better idea |
00:10:41 |
Okay, so just tell me your way. |
00:10:43 |
- So we'll act it out with Marcy? |
00:10:45 |
Okay, give Marcy your drink. |
00:10:48 |
Okay, so you're |
00:10:52 |
and Marcy's a kind of cute |
00:10:55 |
or better be |
00:10:57 |
but not-funny-looking guy |
00:11:00 |
Got it. |
00:11:01 |
Okay, Marcy, take it. |
00:11:11 |
Howdy. |
00:11:13 |
Hi, there. |
00:11:15 |
Excuse me, but... |
00:11:18 |
your name wouldn't be |
00:11:20 |
Yes, it is, and it seems |
00:11:24 |
Barry. |
00:11:26 |
Pleased to meet you, Barry. |
00:11:27 |
Y'all are gettin' me hot! |
00:11:33 |
So is, uh... |
00:11:37 |
Yes, it is. |
00:11:39 |
And how'd you know |
00:11:41 |
I listened to Jungle Julia's show |
00:11:44 |
Oh, you did, did you? |
00:11:45 |
Oh, yeah, I listen to her show |
00:11:48 |
Oh, you do, do you? |
00:11:50 |
Yeah, she's like |
00:11:53 |
Don't you think |
00:11:55 |
Nah, man! |
00:11:59 |
She got a black girl's ass. |
00:12:01 |
Well, that's what she always says, |
00:12:03 |
but in actual fact, she doesn't |
00:12:06 |
She's got a big ass. |
00:12:08 |
Okay, what the fuck |
00:12:09 |
Look who wants |
00:12:11 |
Okay, we'll get to the point, |
00:12:12 |
but for your information, |
00:12:14 |
black men and a whole lot |
00:12:17 |
have had plenty of fun |
00:12:20 |
I don't wear their teeth marks |
00:12:23 |
If you're not gonna buy me a drink, |
00:12:26 |
No, okay, okay, okay, okay. |
00:12:28 |
So, Butterfly... |
00:12:30 |
can I buy you a drink? |
00:12:31 |
I'd love one. |
00:12:33 |
What can I get ya? |
00:12:34 |
I'll take a margarita. |
00:12:37 |
Here ya go. |
00:12:39 |
So, after they buy you a drink |
00:12:41 |
when they raise |
00:12:43 |
they look you dead in the eye |
00:12:49 |
"The woods are lovely, |
00:12:53 |
And I have promises to keep |
00:12:58 |
Did you hear me, Butterfly? |
00:13:00 |
"Miles to go before you sleep." |
00:13:03 |
And then, if they say that... |
00:13:08 |
you gotta give 'em a lap dance. |
00:13:10 |
What? |
00:13:11 |
If they call you "Butterfly," |
00:13:14 |
you gotta give 'em a lap dance. |
00:13:15 |
That's bullshit. |
00:13:17 |
Well, you can do it or not, |
00:13:19 |
everybody in Austin |
00:13:21 |
And I don't think you want |
00:13:23 |
thinking you're a chicken shit. |
00:13:24 |
I ain't giving nobody no lap dance |
00:13:26 |
Oh, come on! |
00:13:28 |
Yeah, everything's funny to you two |
00:13:31 |
Look. You don't have to do it |
00:13:35 |
I said you'd do it |
00:13:37 |
So, some geek comes over |
00:13:40 |
just tell him you already did it |
00:13:43 |
No harm, no foul, |
00:13:46 |
But maybe a little later |
00:13:49 |
you've had a few drinks, |
00:13:51 |
you're kind of loosey-goosey, |
00:13:53 |
you're safe with your girls, |
00:13:55 |
then some kind of cute, |
00:13:58 |
hysterically funny, but not-funny-looking guy |
00:14:02 |
then maybe you did it earlier, |
00:14:11 |
She's making me trip. |
00:14:13 |
Shut the fuck up. |
00:14:28 |
You fuckin' idiot! |
00:16:10 |
Any dead soldiers here? |
00:16:11 |
Uh, these two. Thank you. |
00:16:15 |
Where the hell is Lanna-Frank? |
00:16:17 |
That's a good fucking question. |
00:16:30 |
Lanna-Frank! |
00:16:32 |
Where are you? |
00:16:36 |
Well, come over already. |
00:16:38 |
Shit! Hold on! |
00:16:53 |
So, where are you? |
00:16:56 |
Come over already. |
00:16:59 |
No. We're not coming over there. |
00:17:01 |
You come over here |
00:17:05 |
So, is it Shauna and the girls |
00:17:08 |
- Shauna? |
00:17:10 |
No. |
00:17:11 |
Now, there is one thing |
00:17:14 |
whose name is Shanna |
00:17:17 |
We all hate the name "Shauna," |
00:17:19 |
and we really hate it |
00:17:58 |
Just remember... |
00:18:00 |
it's "Shanna Banana," |
00:18:02 |
Okay, but at some point in the evening, |
00:18:06 |
Yeah, I mean, it wasn't bullish, but... |
00:18:36 |
Okay... Warren's sending over shots, |
00:18:40 |
If he sends over shots, |
00:18:43 |
- What? |
00:18:45 |
- Warren says it, we do it! |
00:18:49 |
"Warren says it, we do it." |
00:18:51 |
So let's do it! |
00:18:53 |
What is it? |
00:18:54 |
Hey, shot first, questions later. |
00:19:08 |
Now, is that a tasty beverage |
00:19:12 |
What the fuck is it?! |
00:19:14 |
Chartreuse. |
00:19:15 |
The only liquor so good |
00:19:20 |
Who's down for dos Chartreuse? |
00:19:22 |
Not me. |
00:19:24 |
I'm going out for a smoke. |
00:19:26 |
Okay, but careful where you keep |
00:19:29 |
You'll blow up the joint. |
00:19:44 |
Drinks. |
00:19:45 |
Shanna Banana? |
00:19:46 |
Another big-ass |
00:19:49 |
Bombay Sapphire |
00:19:52 |
Good boy. |
00:20:15 |
Oh, hey, Punky. |
00:20:16 |
Uh, one of the lights |
00:20:53 |
Jesus Christ! |
00:20:56 |
You scared the fuck out of me, |
00:20:58 |
I swear, Arlene. |
00:21:01 |
I just... got lucky. |
00:21:03 |
Oh, hardee-fucking-har. |
00:21:05 |
- Let's go inside. |
00:21:06 |
- Why? |
00:21:09 |
What, on a porch? |
00:21:10 |
Not even in the bar, |
00:21:12 |
- Forget it. |
00:21:14 |
What, out there? |
00:21:17 |
Not in my car it's not. |
00:21:19 |
Look, you won't get wet. |
00:21:21 |
I promise you. |
00:21:26 |
You know, most guys |
00:21:30 |
I mean... |
00:21:32 |
Look, I know you guys |
00:21:34 |
and we can't come. |
00:21:36 |
I wanna make out... |
00:21:38 |
Okay, just stop with the whining. |
00:21:47 |
I don't want it super fucking obvious |
00:21:51 |
- so we'll make out for six minutes, deal? |
00:21:54 |
No, no, no. |
00:21:56 |
If you're gonna whine |
00:21:58 |
we could just walk back |
00:22:00 |
- Deal. No whining. |
00:22:02 |
And no begging. |
00:22:05 |
I'm gonna remember |
00:22:07 |
Okay, let's go. |
00:22:10 |
Oh, you got two jobs... kiss good |
00:22:47 |
Now, look, you can't look like |
00:22:50 |
before Christian Simonson shows up, |
00:22:51 |
but you've got to get her out of here |
00:22:54 |
Yeah, but what's the point? |
00:22:55 |
They're going to Shanna's |
00:22:57 |
and it's no guys. |
00:22:58 |
Absolutely no guys. |
00:23:00 |
Okay. So after we bring |
00:23:02 |
in fairly rapid order, but not obvious, |
00:23:07 |
You think they're gonna fall for that? |
00:23:10 |
We'll be very convincing. |
00:23:13 |
Now it's time to turn up the volume. |
00:23:15 |
We go to Jäger shots. |
00:23:17 |
Man, they're not gonna drink Jäger shots. |
00:23:20 |
Dude, as long as |
00:23:21 |
a fucking bitch |
00:23:23 |
Come on, dude, we can |
00:23:25 |
down these |
00:23:27 |
After that, we'll see if they get |
00:23:29 |
You never know. |
00:23:30 |
That could be the shot |
00:23:32 |
Then all of a sudden |
00:23:34 |
turns into a couple of guys |
00:23:36 |
My point exactly. |
00:23:38 |
And I know I can at least get |
00:23:40 |
to do a fucking Buttery Nipple shot. |
00:23:44 |
- Key Lime Pie. |
00:23:45 |
Even fucking Leroy Brown |
00:23:51 |
Dude, check it out. |
00:23:53 |
I wonder if B.J. |
00:23:58 |
Jesus. |
00:24:02 |
Dude fucking cut himself |
00:24:06 |
Hi, could I get a chicken suit |
00:24:41 |
And where did you two disappear to? |
00:24:43 |
I had to get something |
00:24:45 |
and Nate was gentlemanly enough |
00:24:48 |
Ah, good for you, Nate. |
00:24:50 |
You see that pretty girl |
00:24:55 |
Who, the dirty hippie? |
00:24:57 |
Meow. She's not a hippie. |
00:24:59 |
She might as well be a hippie. |
00:25:02 |
Thank you, Timmy boy. |
00:25:04 |
Well, do you know |
00:25:07 |
No, but I know she's |
00:25:12 |
Oh, I'm sorry. |
00:25:15 |
What about her? |
00:25:19 |
Hey, Warren! |
00:25:20 |
Is there anybody you could |
00:25:25 |
Fair lady, your chariot awaits. |
00:25:28 |
You've been eavesdropping? |
00:25:30 |
There's eavesdropping |
00:25:33 |
I think I belong |
00:25:36 |
So, uh, Icy Hot. |
00:25:38 |
You're offering me a ride home? |
00:25:40 |
I'm offering you a lift if when |
00:25:44 |
And when are you |
00:25:46 |
Truthfully, |
00:25:49 |
But when I do, |
00:25:52 |
Will you be able |
00:25:55 |
I know looks can be deceiving. |
00:25:58 |
But I'm a teetotaler. |
00:26:00 |
I've been drinking |
00:26:02 |
and now I'm building up |
00:26:04 |
- Which is what? |
00:26:09 |
Okay. Why would |
00:26:12 |
spend hours at a bar drinking water? |
00:26:15 |
You know, a bar offers |
00:26:19 |
Really? |
00:26:21 |
Like what? |
00:26:25 |
Women. |
00:26:26 |
Nacho grande platters. |
00:26:29 |
The fellowship |
00:26:31 |
like Warren here. |
00:26:34 |
Alcohol is just a lubricant |
00:26:35 |
for all the individual |
00:26:39 |
Ooh. Is that cowboy wisdom? |
00:26:41 |
I'm not a cowboy, Pam. |
00:26:45 |
I'm a stuntman. |
00:26:46 |
But that's a very |
00:26:50 |
How do you know my name? |
00:26:53 |
When you were talking with Warren... |
00:26:56 |
couldn't help but overhear. |
00:26:59 |
Fair enough. |
00:27:00 |
So what's your name, Icy? |
00:27:03 |
Stuntman Mike. |
00:27:05 |
Stuntman Mike's your name? |
00:27:07 |
You ask anybody. |
00:27:11 |
Hey, Warren. |
00:27:12 |
Who is this guy? |
00:27:14 |
Stuntman Mike. |
00:27:16 |
And who the hell |
00:27:18 |
He's a stuntman. |
00:27:19 |
Warren! Six shots of Wild Turkey! |
00:27:42 |
Let's do 'em! |
00:27:43 |
Salud. |
00:27:45 |
Down the snatch. |
00:27:47 |
You know, Pam, |
00:27:51 |
Well, Stuntman Mike, |
00:27:55 |
can I buy you that |
00:27:57 |
Thank you, Pam. |
00:27:59 |
Warren! |
00:28:01 |
A virgin piña colada |
00:28:04 |
and I'll have another |
00:28:07 |
Cabo Wabo, virgin. |
00:29:10 |
Hey, if it ain't Lanna-Frank. |
00:29:14 |
- Hey, baby. |
00:29:15 |
Hey, what's up? |
00:29:17 |
Hey! |
00:29:18 |
Hey, what's shakin', bacon? |
00:29:21 |
Hey. |
00:29:26 |
Well, let's scootch over, now. |
00:29:29 |
It's about fucking time. |
00:29:31 |
Well, beggars can't be choosers. |
00:29:34 |
Take a picture. |
00:29:37 |
What? |
00:29:38 |
That table. |
00:29:39 |
Seems to keep, |
00:29:41 |
Is that the girl |
00:29:44 |
Yep. |
00:29:45 |
She sure is a striking-looking woman. |
00:29:48 |
It's got gin, tequila, Jäger... |
00:29:50 |
Look at that hair. |
00:29:51 |
Lots of leave-in conditioner. |
00:29:54 |
Is that jealousy I detect? |
00:29:56 |
Hardly. But if you want |
00:30:00 |
there's a real easy way to do that. |
00:30:02 |
Really, what would that be? |
00:30:04 |
Get famous. You won't have |
00:30:07 |
And you don't even want to know |
00:30:11 |
Enjoy it, cocksucker. |
00:30:12 |
You've earned it. |
00:30:14 |
What did she ever do to you? |
00:30:16 |
We went to school together |
00:30:19 |
That's what she did to me. |
00:30:21 |
She was her height right now at 12. |
00:30:23 |
She was a monster. |
00:30:25 |
Half the guys she still fucks |
00:30:29 |
And she used to beat you up |
00:30:32 |
That pituitary case? |
00:30:34 |
Might have kicked my ass |
00:30:35 |
sorry, I'm built like a girl, |
00:30:38 |
but I'd die before I ever gave |
00:31:14 |
Hey! Are you |
00:31:17 |
Or somethin'. |
00:31:19 |
No, no, no. Really. |
00:31:21 |
Hey, what do... what do you do? |
00:31:24 |
Really? |
00:31:25 |
What I do is work my ass off to get |
00:31:29 |
but why that girl wanted a picture |
00:31:36 |
Wait a minute. |
00:31:39 |
You've got a billboard |
00:31:43 |
Yeah. |
00:31:44 |
I got one there, too, Zatoichi. |
00:31:50 |
Yeah. |
00:31:52 |
Jungle Julia Lucai. |
00:31:54 |
Stuntman Mike McKay. |
00:31:56 |
Well. |
00:31:58 |
Good to meet you, Stuntman Mike. |
00:32:01 |
My friends and I are going |
00:32:03 |
Would you care for some? |
00:32:04 |
Thank you, Julia, |
00:32:06 |
but just the same... |
00:32:09 |
- Suit yourself. |
00:32:21 |
Oh, shit. |
00:32:23 |
My God. |
00:32:26 |
Sorry. It's nothing. |
00:32:31 |
What the fuck was that? |
00:32:37 |
You got some voucher here. |
00:32:39 |
I asked him |
00:32:41 |
No fuckin' clue. |
00:32:43 |
Well, technically I really don't know |
00:32:46 |
I mean, he shows me |
00:32:49 |
a guy falls off a horse, |
00:32:50 |
he says it's him. |
00:32:53 |
You know the show The Virginian? |
00:32:57 |
Yeah, well, there was another |
00:33:00 |
and I looked like him a bit... |
00:33:02 |
well, obviously |
00:33:05 |
I like it. |
00:33:07 |
Well, damn, if you ain't so sweet |
00:33:12 |
Anyway, I did a lot of Virginians |
00:33:15 |
And, uh... then that show turned |
00:33:19 |
they brought on Lee Majors, |
00:33:22 |
From that point on |
00:33:25 |
Yeah, I did damn near |
00:33:29 |
I was Robert Urich's driving double. |
00:33:31 |
And then Bob |
00:33:34 |
and he brought me |
00:33:38 |
And after that... |
00:33:44 |
Do you know any of these shows |
00:33:47 |
Sorry. |
00:33:48 |
No? |
00:33:49 |
No, no. |
00:33:54 |
So how exactly does one |
00:34:01 |
Well, in Hollywood, anybody fool enough |
00:34:05 |
can usually find somebody |
00:34:08 |
But really I got into the business the way |
00:34:12 |
How's that? |
00:34:13 |
- My brother got me in it. |
00:34:16 |
Stuntman Bob. |
00:34:31 |
I'm ready to blaze! |
00:34:32 |
Finally, yeah. |
00:34:35 |
- Now the party can start. |
00:34:37 |
Anywho, I'm sorry. |
00:34:42 |
But you have to be real nice to me |
00:34:46 |
Promise. |
00:34:50 |
- How about your friend, bring him? |
00:34:53 |
If you really want him to come, |
00:34:55 |
So how about it? |
00:34:58 |
Us girls. |
00:34:59 |
Good idea. |
00:35:03 |
Ladies? |
00:35:06 |
Thanks. |
00:35:08 |
Cheers, Butterfly. |
00:35:12 |
"The woods are lovely, |
00:35:17 |
"And I have promises to keep, |
00:35:19 |
And miles to go |
00:35:22 |
Did you hear me, Butterfly? |
00:35:25 |
"Miles to go |
00:35:31 |
Sorry, Stuntman Burt... |
00:35:32 |
Mike. |
00:35:34 |
Mike. |
00:35:35 |
She already broke off that dance. |
00:35:37 |
Is that true? |
00:35:40 |
Did I miss my chance? |
00:35:46 |
Do I frighten you? |
00:35:52 |
Is it my scar? |
00:35:56 |
It's your car. |
00:35:58 |
Ah, yeah, I know. |
00:36:00 |
Sorry. |
00:36:02 |
It's my mom's car. |
00:36:07 |
Have you been following us? |
00:36:08 |
No, but that's |
00:36:11 |
it's just so damn small. |
00:36:14 |
- You've seen this guy before? |
00:36:16 |
And I saw you outside Guero's, too. |
00:36:20 |
You saw my car, |
00:36:23 |
Now, look, I ain't stalking y'all, |
00:36:26 |
So you really weren't following us? |
00:36:28 |
I'm not following you, Butterfly. |
00:36:34 |
So, how about that lap dance? |
00:36:39 |
Sorry, it was a one-time only offer, |
00:36:40 |
and she did it |
00:36:44 |
- No, she didn't. |
00:36:46 |
I'm good that way. |
00:36:48 |
- And you look a little touchéd. |
00:36:52 |
Wounded, slightly. |
00:36:54 |
Why should I be wounded? |
00:36:55 |
Because you expected guys |
00:36:58 |
but from your look I can tell |
00:37:02 |
That kind of hurt your feelings |
00:37:06 |
There are few things as fetching |
00:37:15 |
So... |
00:37:17 |
How about that lap dance? |
00:37:22 |
I think I'm going |
00:37:28 |
Well, since you'll be leaving |
00:37:30 |
that rain check'll be worthless. |
00:37:34 |
But that's okay. |
00:37:37 |
I understand |
00:37:40 |
You're still a nice girl. |
00:37:42 |
And I still like you. |
00:37:46 |
But I must warn you of something. |
00:37:49 |
You know how people say, |
00:37:52 |
"You're okay in my book," |
00:37:53 |
or, "In my book, that's no good." |
00:37:57 |
Well, I actually have a book. |
00:38:02 |
And everybody |
00:38:06 |
And now I've met you, |
00:38:12 |
Except... |
00:38:14 |
I'm afraid I must file you... |
00:38:18 |
under... |
00:38:20 |
"Chicken Shit." |
00:38:22 |
And what if I did it? |
00:38:24 |
Well, I definitely couldn't |
00:38:27 |
then, now, could I? |
00:38:29 |
What's your name again? |
00:38:31 |
- Stuntman Mike. |
00:38:34 |
I'm Butterfly. |
00:38:36 |
My friend Jungle Julia over here says |
00:38:41 |
Yeah, it is. |
00:38:42 |
Yeah. |
00:38:44 |
Well, why don't you go |
00:39:01 |
What about "kind of cute, |
00:39:04 |
"hysterically funny |
00:39:06 |
who you could fuck" |
00:42:00 |
I'm driving. |
00:42:01 |
We're gonna go somewhere else, |
00:42:05 |
Ready to go? |
00:42:06 |
Yeah. |
00:42:07 |
- Bye. |
00:42:12 |
I think you got Mike laid tonight. |
00:42:16 |
Lookin' good, Cannonball Run! |
00:42:19 |
He's just giving me a ride. |
00:42:21 |
Oh, no doubt. |
00:42:22 |
Have a nice ride! |
00:42:26 |
Look, double fucks. |
00:42:32 |
I am not gonna fuck him. |
00:42:34 |
I can hear you. |
00:42:37 |
- He's old enough to be my dad. |
00:42:44 |
Bye. |
00:42:45 |
Bye-bye! |
00:42:52 |
Wow, that's fucking scary. |
00:42:54 |
Yeah, well, I wanted it |
00:42:57 |
scary tends to impress. |
00:43:00 |
Is it safe? |
00:43:01 |
No, it's better than safe. |
00:43:03 |
It's death-proof. |
00:43:05 |
How do you make a car death-proof? |
00:43:08 |
Well, that's what stuntmen do. |
00:43:09 |
You've seen a movie where |
00:43:12 |
there ain't no way in hell |
00:43:16 |
Well, how do you |
00:43:18 |
CGI? |
00:43:20 |
Well, unfortunately, Pam, nowadays |
00:43:24 |
But back |
00:43:27 |
Vanishing Point days, |
00:43:31 |
the White Line Fever days... |
00:43:32 |
real cars smashing into real cars. |
00:43:35 |
Real dumb people driving 'em. |
00:43:38 |
So, give the stunt team |
00:43:41 |
they take her and reinforce |
00:43:44 |
Voila! |
00:43:45 |
You got yourself |
00:43:50 |
That makes sense. I just didn't know |
00:43:53 |
Well, I can drive this baby into |
00:43:58 |
Just for the experience. |
00:44:06 |
Why is your passenger seat in a box? |
00:44:09 |
Well, this is a movie car. |
00:44:10 |
Sometimes when you're shootin' a crash, |
00:44:14 |
you know, shoot the crash |
00:44:16 |
That's where you put the camera. |
00:44:22 |
There you go. |
00:44:23 |
You know, when you |
00:44:26 |
you didn't mention your car |
00:44:28 |
Yeah, well, actually, |
00:44:31 |
You asked me for a ride, |
00:44:33 |
But look at the bright side, Pam... |
00:44:34 |
I won't be gettin' fresh, |
00:44:39 |
That is a bright side. |
00:44:42 |
I thought so. |
00:45:09 |
Well, Pam... |
00:45:11 |
which way are you going? |
00:45:12 |
- Left or right? |
00:45:14 |
Ah, that's too bad. |
00:45:16 |
Why? |
00:45:17 |
Well, because it was a 50/50 shot |
00:45:21 |
You see, we're both going left. |
00:45:24 |
You could have just |
00:45:26 |
and if that was the case, |
00:45:27 |
it would have been a while |
00:45:30 |
But since |
00:45:32 |
I'm afraid... |
00:45:34 |
you're gonna |
00:45:37 |
immediately. |
00:45:38 |
What the fuck?! |
00:45:49 |
Cocksucking motherfucker! |
00:45:51 |
Just fucking let me out of here! |
00:45:53 |
I'll fucking rip your fucking... |
00:45:54 |
Stop the fucking car! |
00:45:56 |
Why are you being such a shit? |
00:46:38 |
Okay. |
00:46:40 |
Here's the thing. |
00:46:41 |
I get it. |
00:46:43 |
I... I know it's a joke, |
00:46:47 |
Um, but if you just stop right now, |
00:46:51 |
you know, and... and let me out, |
00:46:53 |
I'll never tell anybody |
00:46:57 |
I know all about jokes. |
00:46:58 |
Ha ha ha! |
00:47:00 |
I promise everything'll be fine. |
00:47:03 |
Just... just... just let me out. |
00:47:06 |
Please? |
00:47:07 |
- And... and... and... |
00:47:09 |
Remember when I said |
00:47:13 |
Well, that wasn't a lie. |
00:47:16 |
This car is 100% death proof. |
00:47:20 |
Only to get the benefit of it, honey... |
00:47:23 |
you really need to be sittin' in my seat. |
00:48:03 |
Now I gotta catch me |
00:48:21 |
No, no, no, no, no, no. |
00:48:23 |
It's Dave Dee, Dozy, |
00:48:27 |
So, you got it? |
00:48:28 |
Thanks, honey. |
00:48:32 |
Good boy. |
00:48:36 |
Growl! |
00:48:37 |
Bye-bye. |
00:48:40 |
Who do you want to hear? |
00:48:41 |
Dave Dee, Dozy, |
00:48:43 |
Who? |
00:48:44 |
Dave Dee, Dozy, |
00:48:48 |
Who the fuck are they? |
00:48:50 |
For your information, |
00:48:52 |
almost quit The Who, |
00:48:54 |
he would have ended up in this group, |
00:48:56 |
thus making it Dave Dee, Dozy, |
00:49:00 |
And if you ask me, |
00:49:03 |
That's my boy! |
00:50:54 |
I want to hear |
00:51:43 |
Do you remember anything? |
00:51:47 |
Uh... I... I don't remember. |
00:51:53 |
Doctor Block. |
00:52:07 |
Well. What's the patient's |
00:52:13 |
I don't really see |
00:52:15 |
Come on now, Sis. |
00:52:17 |
You just tell us. |
00:52:19 |
How bad is he? |
00:52:25 |
He got banged up real good. |
00:52:27 |
Busted nose, broken collarbone, |
00:52:32 |
Is that it? |
00:52:35 |
He was real lucky. |
00:52:39 |
That'll be all? |
00:52:40 |
Well, that's more than enough, |
00:52:48 |
Son of a bitch. |
00:52:51 |
So, Pop. |
00:52:52 |
What do you think? |
00:52:54 |
Well, Son Number One, |
00:52:56 |
what I think is so goddamn ghoulish |
00:53:01 |
Well, give it a shot. |
00:53:03 |
Well, what we have here |
00:53:06 |
That ol' boy in there |
00:53:09 |
I mean, he used a car, not a hatchet, |
00:53:15 |
Well, what are you gonna do? |
00:53:18 |
Not a goddamn thing. |
00:53:19 |
D.A. says there ain't no crime here. |
00:53:23 |
Every one of them gals was swimming |
00:53:28 |
and old Hooper in there |
00:53:32 |
Now, you actually think that he |
00:53:36 |
Well, I can't prove it. |
00:53:38 |
But since thinkin' don't cost nothin', |
00:53:41 |
Yeah, but Pop, he got |
00:53:45 |
Well, hell yeah, |
00:53:47 |
I mean, them pretty little gals in there |
00:53:50 |
chewed 'em up and spit 'em out. |
00:53:52 |
Did any of 'em survive? |
00:53:53 |
Shit. |
00:53:55 |
Two tons of metal, |
00:53:58 |
flesh and bone |
00:54:00 |
they all princess died. |
00:54:09 |
Why? |
00:54:11 |
Well, I'd guesstimate |
00:54:15 |
The only way I can figure it. |
00:54:17 |
High-velocity impact, |
00:54:22 |
all four souls taken |
00:54:27 |
Probably the only way that diabolical |
00:54:32 |
Yeah, I think the only thing |
00:54:35 |
is vehicular manslaughter |
00:54:38 |
That was just plain old, |
00:54:41 |
But I got me a goddamn bartender |
00:54:44 |
gonna testify that ol' Stuntman |
00:54:49 |
And his passenger |
00:54:52 |
in the goddamn rain, no less, |
00:54:55 |
Now, on paper, this is gonna look |
00:54:59 |
I mean, that's the way |
00:55:02 |
So, what are you gonna do, Pop? |
00:55:05 |
Well, I could take it |
00:55:08 |
you know, in my off hours. |
00:55:10 |
Search for evidence, |
00:55:13 |
Alert authorities. |
00:55:15 |
Dog that rotten son of a bitch... |
00:55:18 |
Or I could spend the same |
00:55:24 |
following the NASCAR circuit. |
00:55:27 |
Hmm. I've thought about it a lot. |
00:55:29 |
I think I'd have a hell |
00:55:32 |
And just because I can't |
00:55:33 |
punish Old Frankenstein |
00:55:38 |
I'm gonna tell you |
00:55:41 |
if he ever does it again, |
00:55:43 |
I can make goddamn sure |
00:57:12 |
Are you on the same floor as him? |
00:57:15 |
- And who's in whose room? |
00:57:18 |
And so what happened then? |
00:57:19 |
We made out for about ten minutes, |
00:57:23 |
- So how's the Rock as a kisser? |
00:57:27 |
He's got them mushy lips, |
00:57:30 |
Mm, I love them mushy lips. |
00:57:32 |
He's a big guy, so he spins me around |
00:57:35 |
takes his big hand |
00:57:38 |
tilts my head back and leans over me, |
00:57:42 |
Damn, that sounds sexy! |
00:57:44 |
It was sexy. |
00:57:45 |
But then that was it? |
00:57:49 |
Wait a minute, what are we doing here? |
00:57:51 |
If I'm gonna power through and pick up |
00:57:55 |
Since you're getting that, can you get |
00:58:01 |
We didn't know you were awake. |
00:58:02 |
I'm not awake. I'm asleep. |
00:58:04 |
But get some more vodka |
00:58:08 |
And some Red Apple Tans. |
00:58:10 |
Damn, I didn't stop |
00:58:14 |
You remember how to get to the airport? |
00:58:17 |
Then you should get behind the wheel, |
00:58:21 |
Motherfuckers. |
00:58:40 |
They ain't got sugar-free Red Bull. |
00:58:42 |
They got regular Red Bull |
00:58:44 |
- G.O. |
01:00:29 |
Where the hell are my keys? |
01:00:33 |
Sorry, I didn't mean to give |
01:00:36 |
No, it wasn't you. |
01:00:38 |
That guy bumped into my feet |
01:00:42 |
I don't know why, |
01:01:11 |
Little dick. |
01:01:14 |
Clearly. |
01:01:17 |
Since I'm up, |
01:01:23 |
Get me a fuckin' smoke. |
01:02:50 |
What? |
01:02:51 |
Did you just see the... |
01:02:54 |
What? |
01:02:57 |
Nothing, honey. |
01:03:22 |
Y'ello. |
01:03:23 |
It's me. |
01:03:24 |
Miss me? |
01:03:27 |
You best get your ass |
01:03:29 |
- I've seen Kim sit on it before. |
01:03:33 |
Okay. So, I think I'm in |
01:03:41 |
You got Allure? |
01:03:43 |
Magazines by the window. |
01:03:59 |
Here you are! |
01:04:04 |
You hot mama, you. |
01:04:06 |
See you in a second. |
01:04:08 |
$3.85... out of 20. |
01:04:15 |
And you get 16 and change back. |
01:04:20 |
You know, I got other fashion magazines |
01:04:26 |
No, that's okay. |
01:04:28 |
Thought I'd ask. |
01:04:30 |
- Thanks anyway. |
01:04:35 |
I got this month's issue |
01:04:42 |
This month's? |
01:04:46 |
Listen to this. |
01:04:48 |
The Circle A clerk has |
01:04:53 |
- No way. |
01:04:54 |
I can't believe fuckin' Circle A |
01:04:56 |
It doesn't. It's his own personal copy. |
01:04:59 |
He'll let it go for 27 bucks. |
01:05:01 |
27 bucks? |
01:05:03 |
What the fuck do you care? |
01:05:06 |
We found an issue of Italian Vogue |
01:05:09 |
We're lucky he's not asking |
01:05:11 |
I'm getting it, and we're |
01:05:13 |
What, me, you, and Kim? |
01:05:14 |
Kim doesn't give |
01:05:16 |
but Brandy'll come in with us, |
01:05:21 |
Okay, but if anybody tears out |
01:05:24 |
you gotta make color Xeroxes |
01:05:27 |
You take it to the art department |
01:05:49 |
Whoo! |
01:05:55 |
Oh, my God! |
01:06:04 |
Got it! |
01:06:15 |
...the actress... |
01:06:29 |
Oh, boy. |
01:06:33 |
Your timing couldn't be better, Zoë. |
01:06:35 |
It just so happens we're all three |
01:06:40 |
Fuckin' hell! How does that happen? |
01:06:43 |
I'm doing Lindsay Lohan's makeup, |
01:06:46 |
There's no stunts being filmed |
01:06:49 |
and Lee's on a will-notify |
01:06:53 |
So how's the shoot going? |
01:06:54 |
Great. We're having the best time. |
01:06:56 |
The director, Cecil Evans, is so fun. |
01:06:59 |
We're making the coolest movie |
01:07:02 |
Hell, yeah. The next job |
01:07:06 |
So let's hear it, ladies. |
01:07:08 |
Set romances! Who's getting it off? |
01:07:10 |
That would be Lee and Toolbox. |
01:07:13 |
Oh, Toolbox! |
01:07:16 |
- He's a grip. |
01:07:18 |
Well, he just keeps sounding |
01:07:22 |
What's his perversion? |
01:07:25 |
He likes to watch me pee. |
01:07:36 |
Yeah, but not no more. |
01:07:37 |
Now she's getting it on |
01:07:40 |
You had a one-off with the Rock? |
01:07:42 |
Well, not the real Rock. |
01:07:44 |
He looks like the Rock, |
01:07:48 |
Oh, yeah, this is an all-star crew. |
01:07:50 |
We got a guy who looks like Nic Cage |
01:07:54 |
Kim, dick department. |
01:07:56 |
No dick this trip. I got a man. |
01:07:59 |
- How long have you had this boyfriend? |
01:08:03 |
Who'd you steal him from? |
01:08:04 |
Nobody! |
01:08:06 |
- Kim! |
01:08:08 |
He totally had a girlfriend. |
01:08:10 |
All of Kim's boyfriends start out |
01:08:14 |
I did not steal him! |
01:08:16 |
I didn't steal any of them; |
01:08:23 |
- So what's your story, Abernathy? |
01:08:27 |
I had a set crush on Cecil. |
01:08:30 |
Set crush? Nigga, please. |
01:08:34 |
"Were" and "had" being |
01:08:36 |
Bitch, you two are still |
01:08:39 |
Yeah, well, if he's so in love with me, |
01:08:47 |
Yes, men are dogs. |
01:08:51 |
Oh, it's so funny! |
01:08:52 |
Stop acting all hurt. |
01:08:55 |
Yeah, he's a stand-in fucker. |
01:08:57 |
You need to get over that shit. |
01:09:00 |
Oh, well, now you put it like that... |
01:09:04 |
Oh, I haven't told you the best part. |
01:09:06 |
He fucked her on my birthday. |
01:09:09 |
Oh, that's a horse of a different color. |
01:09:12 |
- Thank you. |
01:09:15 |
I mean, he's the director. |
01:09:18 |
He ate a piece of my birthday cake, |
01:09:23 |
- Wow. |
01:09:26 |
What did he get you? |
01:09:31 |
He made me a tape. |
01:09:33 |
He made you a tape? |
01:09:35 |
Wait, he didn't burn you a CD? |
01:09:37 |
He made you a tape? |
01:09:38 |
- Yeah. |
01:09:41 |
Yes, I know what you're gonna say, |
01:09:45 |
This sounds like the test |
01:09:47 |
Look, I know you guys like him. |
01:09:51 |
But he fucked another woman |
01:09:53 |
How can you not be on my side? |
01:09:56 |
I admit, that sounds bad. |
01:09:57 |
It is bad! |
01:09:59 |
It just sounds like there's |
01:10:01 |
Were you two fucking? |
01:10:03 |
Hell, no. |
01:10:04 |
Hello, is your name Abernathy? |
01:10:06 |
Sorry. |
01:10:07 |
The answer to your question |
01:10:11 |
What do you mean "No, of course not"? |
01:10:14 |
The reason Cecil hasn't had |
01:10:17 |
is because girls will fuck him, |
01:10:20 |
you don't become one |
01:10:23 |
not to say I want to be his girlfriend, |
01:10:26 |
but if I did want to be his girlfriend, |
01:10:31 |
I'd be one of his regulars, |
01:10:37 |
- Have you let him do anything? |
01:10:42 |
I've let him give me a foot massage, |
01:10:44 |
and when we go to the movies, |
01:10:48 |
Bitch, you might be actin' |
01:10:50 |
but he just acting like a man. |
01:10:52 |
You need to break |
01:10:54 |
Let me get this straight... |
01:10:57 |
you're not fucking him, |
01:11:00 |
you're not giving him any tongue, |
01:11:04 |
Can we just take my sex life |
01:11:06 |
Actually, it was Cecil's sex life |
01:11:10 |
and your lack of one. |
01:11:17 |
Fuck both of you |
01:11:19 |
Before you can claim a nigga, |
01:11:24 |
and you can start by giving |
01:11:27 |
in the back of the van |
01:11:29 |
I'm not gonna do that! |
01:11:30 |
I know you won't! |
01:11:33 |
the bitch that ends up living |
01:11:36 |
I haven't entirely agreed |
01:11:39 |
but it is true if you've stretched it out |
01:11:43 |
and you suddenly get dirty on them, |
01:11:49 |
So Zoë, Kim, and I are |
01:11:52 |
- What were you working on? |
01:11:55 |
And, admittedly, |
01:11:59 |
- Cheers to that. |
01:12:02 |
Cheers. |
01:12:03 |
So Zoë... |
01:12:06 |
the genius, wants to take |
01:12:11 |
It's dark as hell, |
01:12:14 |
So she's got her camera |
01:12:18 |
So I do. |
01:12:19 |
Then "A little fu-ther!" |
01:12:22 |
So I step back a little fu-ther. |
01:12:26 |
Then I realize I'm at the edge |
01:12:32 |
...with God knows how many rocks |
01:12:35 |
and broken bottles and rats in it, |
01:12:39 |
I probably would have broken my neck. |
01:12:41 |
So I am yelling at her: |
01:12:47 |
So we laugh about it |
01:12:51 |
and Zoë starts fuckin' around. |
01:12:53 |
And... bam!... if she doesn't fall |
01:12:59 |
Nice. |
01:13:01 |
Thank you. Yep. Thank you. |
01:13:04 |
I remember taking a step |
01:13:07 |
just as I'm thinking, "There's that ditch |
01:13:11 |
Bam! I'm in the fucking ditch, you know. |
01:13:13 |
What happened? |
01:13:15 |
What, with Zoë, the cat? |
01:13:17 |
Nothing. |
01:13:18 |
If I fell in that fuckin' thing, they would |
01:13:22 |
Zoë just lands on her feet. |
01:13:25 |
But then later I started feeling |
01:13:29 |
Zoë falls in the ditch and it's nothing. |
01:13:34 |
If I fell in that fucking thing, |
01:13:38 |
Oh, honey, you can't think like that. |
01:13:41 |
We all have our individual talents, |
01:13:44 |
Well, physically speaking, |
01:13:49 |
I mean, agility, reflexes, nimbleness? |
01:13:53 |
There's few human beings that can fuck |
01:13:56 |
Kim, I like you too. |
01:13:59 |
Having said that, before you get |
01:14:03 |
you're missing the most |
01:14:06 |
You didn't fall in the ditch. |
01:14:10 |
Zoë even knew there was a ditch there |
01:14:14 |
and she still fell in. |
01:14:16 |
So Lee's right. |
01:14:19 |
Hey, I resemble that remark. |
01:14:25 |
So Kim, you still pack a Roscoe? |
01:14:31 |
Check it out, bitch. |
01:14:32 |
- Nice one, mate. |
01:14:35 |
What's a Roscoe? |
01:14:36 |
Roscoe's a pistol. |
01:14:38 |
You carry a gun? |
01:14:40 |
You have a license to carry? |
01:14:42 |
Yeah, when I became a Secret Service |
01:14:47 |
Oh, I didn't know you were... |
01:14:52 |
Okay, I didn't say it, all right? |
01:14:57 |
Did you know Kim carried a gun? |
01:14:59 |
Yes. Now, do I approve? No. |
01:15:03 |
Do I know? Yes. |
01:15:05 |
Look, I don't know what |
01:15:09 |
but the world I live in, |
01:15:12 |
You can't get around the fact |
01:15:15 |
tend to get shot |
01:15:18 |
And you can't get around the fact |
01:15:22 |
at midnight enough times, |
01:15:25 |
Don't do your laundry at midnight. |
01:15:27 |
Fuck that! I wanna do my laundry |
01:15:30 |
There are other things you can carry |
01:15:35 |
Uh, motherfucker trying to rape me, |
01:15:39 |
I wanna shut that nigga down! |
01:15:43 |
How about a knife, at least? |
01:15:45 |
Yeah, you know what happens |
01:15:50 |
They get shot! |
01:15:52 |
If I ever become a famous actress, |
01:15:56 |
I'll hire me a do-dirt nigga and he'll |
01:15:59 |
I'll sit back and laugh, |
01:16:03 |
So Zoë, you thought about |
01:16:08 |
It just so happens |
01:16:12 |
Oh, really? |
01:16:15 |
To me, there's no point in being in America |
01:16:20 |
I wanna drive a Dodge Challenger... |
01:16:27 |
Well, I guess we |
01:16:30 |
but does it have to be |
01:16:33 |
Not just that. It has to be a 1970 |
01:16:41 |
How in the fuck |
01:16:44 |
No worries, mate. |
01:16:46 |
I've got it all worked out. |
01:16:48 |
When I knew I was coming here, |
01:16:51 |
that the local paper here in Tennessee |
01:16:55 |
- So back home... |
01:17:00 |
What do you mean by that, mate? |
01:17:02 |
Zoë's from New Zealand, |
01:17:05 |
I repeat, never... |
01:17:09 |
That is, unless |
01:17:14 |
I'm so sorry. I will nev... |
01:17:17 |
Oh, it's okay. |
01:17:18 |
We're just taking the piss |
01:17:21 |
Auckland, to answer your question. |
01:17:25 |
Anyway, I subscribed |
01:17:28 |
Why the fuck you want a local redneck |
01:17:31 |
Pipe down and I'll tell you. |
01:17:34 |
I've been getting the paper |
01:17:37 |
looking at cars for sale, |
01:17:39 |
so as of yesterday, |
01:17:43 |
some dude is selling |
01:17:47 |
with a 440 engine and a white paint job. |
01:17:51 |
And you wanna buy it? |
01:17:54 |
Kim, I may be stupid, |
01:17:57 |
I wanna say I wanna buy it |
01:18:01 |
A 1970 Dodge Challenger |
01:18:05 |
Oh, uh, Kowalski! |
01:18:06 |
Kowalski from Vanishing Point. |
01:18:10 |
If I can get this guy |
01:18:12 |
to let me drive it without him, |
01:18:16 |
What's Vanishing Point? |
01:18:19 |
What's Vanishing Point? |
01:18:21 |
Abs, I'm supposed |
01:18:24 |
It's just one of the best |
01:18:27 |
Actually, Zoë, most girls |
01:18:31 |
Excuse me. Most girls? |
01:18:35 |
Yeah, well, we're gearheads. |
01:18:39 |
Y'all grew up watching |
01:18:41 |
Oh, I liked Pretty in Pink. |
01:18:44 |
What, so you didn't watch |
01:18:46 |
Of course I did. I'm a girl. |
01:18:50 |
Vanishing Point. Dirty Mary Crazy Larry. |
01:18:53 |
Gone in 60 Seconds... |
01:18:55 |
The real one, not that |
01:18:58 |
We have an outdoor theater in Auckland |
01:19:02 |
Big Wednesday. all the classics. |
01:19:21 |
What do you horny gals want? |
01:19:26 |
Yeah, you got |
01:19:30 |
Right up here, ladies. |
01:19:46 |
This shit is off the fuckin' hook! |
01:19:49 |
Fuckin' legendary, mate. |
01:19:54 |
Sweet ass. Well, if you'll excuse me, |
01:19:59 |
You ladies take your time. |
01:20:07 |
What are you waiting for? |
01:20:11 |
I intend to, but first I need |
01:20:13 |
What? |
01:20:14 |
If he lets us take it out on our own, |
01:20:20 |
- Oh, hell, no! |
01:20:21 |
Ain't no way I'm doing Ship's Mast. |
01:20:23 |
- For Chrissakes... |
01:20:25 |
Sorry. |
01:20:26 |
Now, what did you say |
01:20:29 |
- Look, I know what I said. |
01:20:32 |
- I know I said we shouldn't... |
01:20:34 |
You didn't say we shouldn't. |
01:20:37 |
- But... |
01:20:39 |
You said not only are we never |
01:20:42 |
but you also said if you ever do |
01:20:45 |
to not only refuse, but that I had permission |
01:20:50 |
Now, did you or did you not say that? |
01:20:53 |
No, no, no. |
01:20:56 |
- Did you or did you not say that? |
01:21:00 |
- However... |
01:21:02 |
Look, I know I said it, |
01:21:06 |
Damn skippy you meant it! |
01:21:07 |
But when I said it, |
01:21:10 |
- Oh, nigga, please. |
01:21:12 |
I meant we should never play Ship's Mast |
01:21:16 |
You are such a liar! |
01:21:18 |
I know what I said, but when I said it |
01:21:24 |
and if I had of known |
01:21:27 |
had the opportunity to play Ship's Mast |
01:21:31 |
I would have added a "however." |
01:21:34 |
Right? |
01:21:40 |
Okay, oddly enough, |
01:21:43 |
However, just because |
01:21:47 |
doesn't mean I have lost |
01:21:50 |
You need two people to play Ship's Mast, |
01:22:00 |
I'll be your best friend. |
01:22:03 |
I don't need me no best friend |
01:22:06 |
I'll crack your back. |
01:22:07 |
You'll crack it anyway. |
01:22:09 |
Well, of course I'll crack it anyway. |
01:22:11 |
But now, while I'm here, |
01:22:15 |
Whenever you want it, you've got it. |
01:22:18 |
You just order me to do it, just be like, |
01:22:29 |
You crack my back, give me foot massages, |
01:22:34 |
Deal. |
01:22:37 |
We're gonna see if this guy'll let us |
01:22:40 |
If he does, you wait here with Lee |
01:22:43 |
What? |
01:22:45 |
- I said we're gonna see if this guy'll let... |
01:22:49 |
I just can't believe |
01:22:54 |
You two got some fuckin' balls. |
01:22:56 |
What? |
01:22:57 |
Don't play dumbass with me. |
01:22:59 |
I've been up all night, I'm still a little drunk, |
01:23:04 |
I should be in my hotel room, asleep, |
01:23:08 |
but because Zoë wanted to drive |
01:23:11 |
Now you two got the balls to ask me... |
01:23:15 |
I gotta go make conversation with Tom Joad |
01:23:20 |
Bullshit on that. |
01:23:22 |
- It ain't like that. |
01:23:24 |
You guys are our collateral. |
01:23:28 |
I really think one human being |
01:23:32 |
You're not gonna |
01:23:34 |
What, drive a car? |
01:23:37 |
We're doing more than that. |
01:23:38 |
What, drive it fast? |
01:23:41 |
We're doing more than that. |
01:23:43 |
Actually, we're paying you a compliment, |
01:23:49 |
But that's okay. We're stunt people. |
01:23:52 |
But you got good sense, |
01:23:54 |
- ain't gonna want to do what we're doing. |
01:23:58 |
'Cause you're a mum. |
01:24:00 |
Yeah. |
01:24:04 |
You know, we're supposed |
01:24:07 |
but that's the excuse you guys use |
01:24:10 |
so what is it you two daredevils are doing |
01:24:13 |
that I'm just so uncool |
01:24:18 |
You know, we're kind of conning this guy, |
01:24:20 |
so maybe it's best if we don't go |
01:24:24 |
Besides... |
01:24:26 |
he's probably not gonna |
01:24:32 |
Okay, how about this? |
01:24:36 |
I'll talk him into it, |
01:24:40 |
- How you gonna do that? |
01:24:44 |
But don't worry. |
01:24:46 |
He'll say yes. |
01:24:48 |
What are you gonna do, blow him? |
01:24:50 |
No. |
01:24:52 |
I'm gonna insinuate |
01:24:59 |
That's a good one. |
01:25:01 |
Not really. |
01:25:03 |
But let me handle it. |
01:25:11 |
Okay, Mama, listen up. |
01:25:12 |
You wanna hang with the cool kids? |
01:25:16 |
We take you along, you don't say shit. |
01:25:19 |
You just sit in the back, and I don't want |
01:25:22 |
- Got it. |
01:25:24 |
You start nagging us, we pulling over, |
01:25:28 |
Agreed. |
01:25:33 |
Okay. Go work your magic. |
01:25:43 |
- Hello, sir. |
01:25:44 |
- Hello, what's your name? |
01:25:46 |
Hello, Jasper, I'm Abernathy. |
01:25:48 |
- Aber what? |
01:25:49 |
- What's your first name? |
01:25:52 |
- What kind of first name is that? |
01:25:55 |
Okay, Abbie. |
01:25:58 |
Jasper, we were wondering |
01:26:02 |
for a little test drive out on our own, |
01:26:05 |
Why would I do something |
01:26:07 |
To better sell your automobile. |
01:26:09 |
How do I know y'all ain't |
01:26:11 |
Four reasons, actually. |
01:26:13 |
One, we're not thieves, |
01:26:18 |
three, we're staying |
01:26:21 |
you can call, check with management. |
01:26:25 |
Actually, Zoë's not, but Kim and I are, |
01:26:29 |
Who's Kim? The colored girl? |
01:26:32 |
Yes. Kim would be the girl of color. |
01:26:36 |
And reason number four... |
01:26:38 |
while we're taking the car out |
01:26:41 |
that'll give you a better opportunity |
01:26:46 |
Lee. |
01:26:51 |
Why does she look |
01:26:53 |
That would be because |
01:26:58 |
Why's she dressed like that? |
01:27:00 |
Well, you see, we're making |
01:27:03 |
and it's a cheerleader movie, |
01:27:06 |
What's a cheerleader movie? |
01:27:08 |
A movie about cheerleaders. |
01:27:11 |
Is it a porno movie? |
01:27:14 |
Yes, it is, but don't mention it. She's shy. |
01:27:24 |
Lee, this is Jasper. |
01:27:27 |
Now, you two kids |
01:27:29 |
Hey, good-looking. |
01:28:00 |
You thinking what I'm thinking? |
01:28:03 |
I think I'm thinking it. |
01:28:05 |
What are you and you thinking? |
01:28:06 |
I'm thinking we told your ass |
01:28:12 |
- Where y'all going? |
01:28:14 |
I gotta take a... |
01:28:33 |
So, you ready to do this? |
01:28:36 |
You sure? |
01:28:38 |
Well, I always don't want to do it |
01:28:42 |
I know what you mean, |
01:28:45 |
Kim! |
01:28:46 |
- I'm just saying. |
01:28:49 |
I'm just saying. |
01:28:52 |
You wanna start out on top? |
01:28:55 |
Practically doesn't count |
01:29:04 |
Here are your gloves. |
01:29:12 |
No, no, no, no. |
01:29:15 |
This is my jacket. |
01:29:17 |
Um, ain't you supposed to be |
01:29:21 |
- Come on. |
01:29:24 |
Bonnet, my ass. |
01:29:36 |
Y'all, I think I hear a car coming. |
01:29:38 |
Give me your belt. |
01:29:44 |
This is my cute shit. |
01:29:51 |
Fine, we'll use Abbie's belt. |
01:29:58 |
- Give me your belt. |
01:30:01 |
Come on, give her the belt. |
01:30:03 |
- Magic word. |
01:30:08 |
Just 'cause you asked nicely. |
01:30:12 |
It's nice to be nice, Kim! |
01:30:14 |
Whatever. |
01:30:16 |
You know what? |
01:30:20 |
- Your ass gonna do it. |
01:30:23 |
because that's what you do when no one |
01:30:26 |
- I ain't getting... |
01:30:28 |
Don't get on my nerves right now. |
01:30:30 |
I got shit on my mind. |
01:30:32 |
You know, I ain't six. |
01:30:47 |
It's cold. Can we roll up |
01:30:50 |
No. |
01:30:53 |
Okay, Abernathy. Check this out. |
01:31:07 |
What the fuck are you guys doing? |
01:31:18 |
What does that mean? |
01:31:28 |
Faster, you black bitch! Faster! |
01:31:39 |
That fast enough for your bony ass? |
01:31:49 |
Abernathy, get your ass up here. |
01:31:59 |
Alrighty. |
01:32:15 |
Go, go! Go! |
01:32:17 |
Check it out, bitch. |
01:33:35 |
- Oh, my God. |
01:33:45 |
Damn it! |
01:33:55 |
Now. |
01:33:57 |
Did you do something to him? |
01:34:00 |
Nothing! Shit. |
01:34:02 |
Here he comes, Zoë. |
01:34:07 |
Shit, oh shit! |
01:34:08 |
No! |
01:34:11 |
Hold on, Zoë! |
01:34:21 |
Oh, my God. Zoë! |
01:34:24 |
- Oh! Hold on! |
01:34:30 |
Fuck you, motherfucker! |
01:34:33 |
Zoë! Zoë! |
01:34:36 |
- I'm sorry I called you a black bitch! |
01:34:40 |
Whoa, whoa, get away! |
01:34:44 |
Oh, shit. |
01:34:47 |
Zoë, move your leg! |
01:34:52 |
Oh! Come on, come on! |
01:34:58 |
Redneck lunatic bastard! |
01:35:01 |
fucking legs! |
01:35:07 |
Oh, my God. |
01:35:19 |
Shit, I'm scared, Kim. |
01:35:22 |
I know, baby, just hold on. |
01:35:24 |
Watch your feet! |
01:35:28 |
You wanna get hot? |
01:35:29 |
- Fucking son of a bitch! |
01:35:32 |
Then suck on this for a while, bitch! |
01:35:38 |
Zoë! Goddamn it! |
01:36:06 |
Oh, my God. Get away from us, |
01:36:09 |
Leave us alone! |
01:36:10 |
Fuck you, motherfucker! |
01:36:18 |
Zoë! Zoë! Oh, Zoë! |
01:36:22 |
Hold on! |
01:36:46 |
Zoë! Zoë! |
01:36:56 |
Look out! |
01:37:25 |
Get ready to fly, bitch. |
01:37:32 |
- Zoë! |
01:37:40 |
He's right on your fucking ass! |
01:37:58 |
Hey! Whoo-hoo! |
01:38:01 |
Hey, ladies, that was fun. |
01:38:09 |
Well, adios. |
01:38:11 |
Ow! Fuck! |
01:38:15 |
Shit! Fuck! |
01:38:18 |
Run away with your ass! |
01:38:22 |
You better run, motherfucker! |
01:38:30 |
That bitch! |
01:38:47 |
I'm okay! |
01:38:48 |
Oh, shit! Goddamn it! |
01:38:52 |
Oh, you fuckin' bitch! |
01:38:54 |
Of course you are. |
01:38:59 |
What was I thinking? |
01:39:06 |
Whew. That was a close one. |
01:39:12 |
So, where's the maniac? |
01:39:15 |
I shot him and his punk ass sped off. |
01:39:19 |
You wanna go get him? |
01:39:21 |
Oh, hell yeah! |
01:39:23 |
Honey... |
01:39:25 |
I think you might want to get out. |
01:39:28 |
Fuck that shit. |
01:39:31 |
Let's kill this bastard. |
01:39:35 |
Okay, get your ass in the back. |
01:39:43 |
Where the fuck you going? |
01:39:45 |
I'll be back! |
01:39:54 |
This'll smart. Sweet. Let's go. |
01:39:57 |
Oh, fuck yeah, bitch. |
01:40:03 |
Giddy-up, then! |
01:40:45 |
God! |
01:40:58 |
Come on! Come on. |
01:41:09 |
Why? Oh, no! |
01:41:19 |
Ah! Do it. |
01:41:21 |
Do it. |
01:41:23 |
Do it. |
01:41:30 |
Oh, no! |
01:41:33 |
No, no, no! |
01:41:35 |
No, God! |
01:41:37 |
All right, get it together, man. |
01:41:42 |
What did you... |
01:41:51 |
Take him down! |
01:41:56 |
Now where do you think you're going? |
01:41:59 |
Where do you think |
01:42:01 |
What the fuck do you think... |
01:42:06 |
Come here! |
01:42:15 |
Go! |
01:42:23 |
What's wrong with your ass, |
01:42:31 |
Oh, you're gonna wiggle your ass at me, |
01:42:36 |
Oh, don't like it up the ass, do you, |
01:42:41 |
Oh, yeah, gonna bust a nut |
01:42:47 |
Oh, I'm the horniest motherfucker |
01:42:53 |
Boo-yah, bitch! |
01:42:59 |
Did you just hit a boat? |
01:43:05 |
Yeah, come on, Kim, get him! |
01:43:07 |
Get that motherfucker! |
01:43:09 |
Forget about the cows, motherfucker! |
01:43:14 |
Motherfucker! |
01:43:16 |
I'm 'bout to bust a nut up |
01:43:27 |
Watch it, watch it. |
01:43:46 |
Bastard. |
01:44:02 |
Oh, you know I can't let you go... |
01:44:06 |
without tapping that ass. |
01:44:09 |
Oh, fuck me! |
01:44:11 |
- One... |
01:44:12 |
- ...more... |
01:44:14 |
...time! |
01:44:22 |
That's what I'm talking... |
01:45:26 |
Oh, come on! |
01:46:08 |
Yah ha ha, come on! |
01:46:11 |
Thought you lost us, motherfucker. |
01:46:15 |
Who's laughing now, bitch! |
01:46:20 |
Shit. |
01:46:24 |
Come on! |
01:46:27 |
Here's Cha Cha! |
01:46:31 |
You've been such a lunatic bastard! |
01:46:33 |
I'm sorry! |
01:46:35 |
What? |
01:46:36 |
I didn't mean anything. |
01:46:40 |
Oh, he was just playing around! |
01:46:43 |
- Just playing! |
01:46:52 |
Oh, look out, look out, look out. |
01:47:02 |
What's your sign? |
01:47:04 |
Oh, shit! |
01:47:09 |
Oh, shit. |
01:47:11 |
Don't run, don't run, |
01:47:14 |
This baby's on speed! |
01:47:33 |
Jesus fucking Christ, |
01:47:52 |
Go, go, go, go, go, go! |
01:47:56 |
Please don't dead-end. |
01:47:58 |
Please don't dead end. |
01:48:00 |
Please don't dead-end. |
01:48:02 |
Please don't dead-end. |
01:48:03 |
Please don't dead-end. |
01:48:04 |
Please don't dead-end. |
01:48:06 |
Please don't dead-end. |
01:48:08 |
Please don't dead-end. |
01:48:09 |
Oh, there the motherfucker is. |
01:48:11 |
Go, go, go! |
01:48:12 |
Get him, get him, get him! |
01:48:31 |
Oh, help me! |
01:48:45 |
Be careful. My right arm's broken. |
01:48:46 |
This one? |
01:48:51 |
Oh, you want some shit? |
01:48:53 |
Motherfucker, kiss my fucking ass. |
01:49:10 |
Mother... fucker! |
01:49:12 |
Motherfucker! |
01:49:19 |
Asshole! |