Death To Smoochy

en
00:00:36 It's starting!
00:00:40 Welcome to The Rainbow RandoIph Show!
00:00:42 Kidnet presents America's
00:00:46 ...the friendliest friend
00:00:50 Featuring Angelo Pike
00:00:53 Friends come in all sizes
00:00:56 That's right, Rainbow.
00:01:06 Friends come in all sizes
00:01:10 All the colors of rainbow
00:01:14 Their names are different
00:01:16 Some like to toss
00:01:18 One might say ''grasp''
00:01:21 Because
00:01:33 Friends come in all sizes
00:01:36 Golly gee, size never matters
00:01:40 From a pal who is true
00:01:43 And can lift you up when you're blue
00:01:47 You can count on him
00:01:53 It's true
00:01:59 Friends come in all sizes
00:02:03 Yes, they do
00:02:05 You know what else
00:02:09 They're there online for you
00:02:13 Log on, it's not free.
00:02:42 You'II Iet my boy dance up front?
00:02:47 You want your booger-eater on my show?
00:02:50 -Of course.
00:02:53 Then don't teII me how to
00:02:57 -We were just--
00:03:02 -Freeze!
00:03:04 I never touched the money.
00:03:06 FBI! You're under arrest.
00:03:09 I'm Rainbow-fucking-RandoIph!
00:03:12 You have the right to remain siIent.
00:03:15 Corruption in Krinkleland?
00:03:17 Rainbow Randolph busted by feds
00:03:42 May I express that I am as shocked
00:03:47 Save it, Stokes! We got nervous
00:03:51 -What are you gonna do?
00:03:55 CIean repIacements?
00:03:59 Christ!
00:04:02 I can assure you
00:04:06 ...another Rainbow RandoIph.
00:04:08 AbsoIuteIy. It is my mission
00:04:12 A performer of character and honor.
00:04:16 Squeaky-fucking-cIean!
00:04:21 Squeaky cIean, sir.
00:04:23 -Buggy Ding Dong?
00:04:25 -Square Dance Danny?
00:04:27 -Princess Poppy?
00:04:31 -Skippy BIack and the TroIIs?
00:04:35 Who gives a shit? This is impossibIe.
00:04:41 Squeeze his neck
00:04:44 Before fantasizing, Iet's save my ass.
00:04:47 Sorry, Frank.
00:04:49 SheIdon Mopes?
00:04:50 Have we sunk to that IeveI aIready?
00:04:55 Sap's just the piII we need.
00:04:58 He's a guy in a suit.
00:05:01 They aII are. MarginaI taIents,
00:05:07 Last I heard, he's pIaying
00:05:11 -He's bottom rung.
00:05:13 We can do better than Mopes.
00:05:18 Except ethics. Never a whiff of
00:05:23 -Don't make me.
00:05:27 -Frank!
00:05:36 -Hello.
00:05:39 Just kidding. It's a machine.
00:05:44 I'm opening the children's wing
00:05:47 Or catch me at the
00:05:51 Remember,
00:05:54 -...but you can make a dent.
00:06:12 Thanks a Iot, feIIas. Ladies, yeah.
00:06:14 Looking at the faces, I think it's
00:06:18 I'II cIose with a ditty.
00:06:22 I took some Iiberties with the Iyrics.
00:06:32 We'll get you off that smack
00:06:36 We'll get you off that smack
00:06:40 We'll get you off that smack
00:06:45 And get your life on track
00:06:50 It's important to get
00:06:56 Cause the smack can lead to crack
00:07:01 CarI, you know what
00:07:04 Sing it with me now.
00:07:06 Giving up that smack
00:07:12 Take it easy.
00:07:13 Mr. Mopes?
00:07:16 I saw your performance.
00:07:20 Thank you very much.
00:07:22 Sometimes I do a Ionger set, but...
00:07:25 ...once the evening meds kick in,
00:07:29 Tough to get a sing-aIong.
00:07:31 At Ieast you know the smack's
00:07:36 God, I hope so.
00:07:38 Can we taIk for a minute?
00:07:40 I'm happy to do this, but we have
00:07:46 You came on the H train?
00:07:49 -Riding the horse? On the juice?
00:07:52 It's sweet of you to assume so.
00:07:55 I'm Nora WeIIs. I'm V.P.
00:07:59 -You work for Kidnet?!
00:08:02 -Are you serious?
00:08:05 ...as a heart attack.
00:08:07 I'm gIad I didn't know you were here.
00:08:12 I was born November 11, 1970.
00:08:17 The first Sesame Street.
00:08:19 You wouIdn't beIieve what it took
00:08:24 HeIIo? PeopIe, wake up
00:08:28 Organic, twice the protein
00:08:34 I'm gonna get you on these
00:08:37 -We wiII change the worId!
00:08:41 Like I was saying,
00:08:44 ''As taIented as you are, if you don't
00:08:49 ...you'II aIways be pIaying to a very
00:08:55 SpiruIina with aImond butter?
00:08:57 -Sure you don't wanna try?
00:09:00 This is chiIdren's entertainment.
00:09:03 It's about doing good work.
00:09:06 Having integrity.
00:09:08 A good show, with the foundation
00:09:12 You can't buiId a foundation with
00:09:17 That is concrete, sister.
00:09:21 I can see that.
00:09:26 -Sorry.
00:09:29 The reason I'm here....
00:09:31 Kidnet is currentIy Iooking
00:09:35 ...with convictions and integrity.
00:09:38 Somebody Iike yourseIf.
00:09:41 HoId the phone.
00:09:42 Kidnet is finaIIy ready to pursue
00:09:48 I mean, to commit to Smoochy quaIity?
00:09:50 Yes, I beIieve we're ready
00:10:01 I knew it!
00:10:05 I knew it. I knew
00:10:08 ...I knew somebody
00:10:12 ...who took a Iook at me
00:10:15 That's you. You get me.
00:10:17 I'm afraid so.
00:10:20 WeII, Nora WeIIs,
00:10:24 ...Iet's you and me go make history!
00:11:11 I Iike it.
00:11:25 Get your $50 bump for working
00:11:29 Hey, AngeIo.
00:11:30 I was a big fan of your work
00:11:34 I appreciate you coming over
00:11:37 A job's a job.
00:11:39 See you out there.
00:11:51 Where can you go when skies turn gray
00:11:53 Where the sun always shines
00:11:55 Where every day is a happy day
00:12:05 Smoochy's Magic Jungle
00:12:07 It's a happy, it's a happy
00:12:18 Hip, hip, hip, hooray!
00:12:33 I thought you weren't coming.
00:12:36 Agreed to meet you.
00:12:39 ReaIIy? I used to have dinner
00:12:44 Don't do this, Randy.
00:12:50 I'd go to a restaurant,
00:12:54 I'd go to take a piss, they'd
00:12:59 I'm Rainbow-fucking-RandoIph,
00:13:03 You through?
00:13:06 What? You got things to do?
00:13:10 The guy who earned for you? Put the
00:13:15 The coq au vin in your BrookIyn mouth.
00:13:18 We heIped each other.
00:13:22 Who couId that be?
00:13:26 For what? Ass-wipe money.
00:13:29 You gotta fix this.
00:13:33 I can't sit and watch that one-horn
00:13:38 He gets a free ride on my dime.
00:13:41 Come on. We got a history.
00:13:43 There's nothing I can do for you.
00:13:47 -I can't even be seen with you.
00:13:50 I'm going down for the Iast time.
00:13:53 They kicked me out of the penthouse.
00:13:56 Put yourseIf in my Capezios.
00:13:59 The truth is, your shoes
00:14:02 As Iong as he's on, everything's
00:14:07 Network wanted squeaky cIean
00:14:11 Mopes is sparkIing.
00:14:15 PIease?
00:14:18 You got nothing Ieft?
00:14:20 ExactIy. That's what I've been
00:14:32 What's this?
00:14:33 A Rain Forest Benefit freebie bag.
00:14:37 ...KahIúa fIavored peanuts...
00:14:40 ...hand Iotions, no animaI-tested....
00:14:43 Don't ever contact me again, Randy.
00:14:48 Get out of the car.
00:14:53 You know what to do
00:14:59 You'II get yours!
00:15:01 The rhino too!
00:15:03 WheeIs are turning!
00:15:09 Even a guy who's squeaky cIean
00:15:17 Smoochy and Rhinette doIIs
00:15:21 These are prototypes.
00:15:24 ...that aII the bugs
00:15:27 Let's recap.
00:15:28 Yes to the Smoochy ice cream,
00:15:32 ...the coIa. We're in a dick-measuring
00:15:37 Time out, peopIe.
00:15:41 If I might interject.
00:15:46 We are stiII trying-- Smoochy is
00:15:52 We won't do that by seIIing
00:15:56 ...which contains no Iess than
00:16:01 We need to focus on putting together
00:16:05 DeIiver a positive message,
00:16:09 Can I get an amen, somebody?
00:16:18 Damn.
00:16:21 I got that.
00:16:23 Shut the door, pIease.
00:16:27 Now Iock it.
00:16:30 We're deciding if Smoochy-O's
00:16:35 If anybody has a strong feeIing....
00:16:37 Our survey shows a dead heat.
00:16:40 Frosted for oId and fruity for young.
00:16:42 Have them both. Good.
00:16:45 -I Iike frosted. I Iike sweeter.
00:16:48 As a kid I ate frosted.
00:16:53 I want to teII you honestIy,
00:16:55 Hey! Nora! Wait up.
00:16:59 I thought that was a good meeting
00:17:04 I feIt once or twice
00:17:07 That's a conservative estimate.
00:17:10 I want the show
00:17:13 SiIIy songs, absoIuteIy,
00:17:16 Guess how many compositions
00:17:21 -Do you sense my Iack of interest?
00:17:24 ...on subjects from vegetabIes to
00:17:28 I'm a vaIuabIe resource, Nora.
00:17:31 Okay, stop taIking.
00:17:35 The onIy reason you're on TV is
00:17:41 I didn't discover you.
00:17:45 I got more emotionaI investment
00:17:49 So don't peddIe your sap to me.
00:17:51 Your job is to smiIe
00:18:12 Look. I'm not IiteraIIy comparing
00:18:17 I'm saying that the Captain,
00:18:20 ...was someone you couId
00:18:25 With those guys...
00:18:27 ...it wasn't about the beIIs and
00:18:32 EspeciaIIy Jesus.
00:18:36 I never saw anybody get
00:18:40 I'II teII you a secret: Pop
00:18:44 ...it's bIastoff time.
00:18:47 Let me have a Five Crown.
00:18:52 -Hey.
00:18:54 That's me.
00:18:56 I'm a big fan.
00:18:59 That's the first time anybody
00:19:03 Burke Bennett.
00:19:06 -Nice to meet you.
00:19:09 Network goons are Iike that.
00:19:13 ...out of merchandising points.
00:19:17 ...of Dicky DoIIs that weren't moving.
00:19:20 I say to him, ''Show me the warehouse.''
00:19:23 I waIk out of there
00:19:27 ...Stokes is sitting
00:19:31 That's a great story, but the thing is,
00:19:37 I don't care about Smoochy doIIs,
00:19:42 I care about getting
00:19:46 You know, this rhino
00:19:49 I birthed him. I nursed him.
00:19:52 Damn it, I ought to be
00:19:55 It's aII about the dough.
00:20:00 Once you get power, you can have
00:20:03 ...with a diIdo strapped to his head.
00:20:07 I haven't thought of that idea.
00:20:12 When you wanna taIk,
00:20:15 I'II open the magic door for you.
00:20:23 WeII, how do you Iike that?
00:20:27 I Iaid the groundwork.
00:20:31 You'll make more with him than
00:20:34 Important to the Parade of Hope.
00:20:36 It's in the bag.
00:20:39 Don't make me
00:20:49 A speciaI batch of cookies
00:20:55 How thoughtfuI of me.
00:20:58 They're beautifuI.
00:21:00 You're going to Iearn about shame, my
00:21:13 Can we taIk? Why was the
00:21:17 It takes away from the ''Cookie Song.''
00:21:20 The ''Cookie Song''
00:21:24 That's the Iesson. The moraI anchor.
00:21:27 It's cut. And I want the
00:21:30 I won't encourage kids to eat
00:21:33 I have to Iike myseIf.
00:21:36 This is not a sprout farm.
00:21:40 Do you hear yourseIf?
00:21:44 Does that say ''Nora's Magic JungIe''?
00:21:47 I'm not your puppet.
00:21:49 Since when? Get your spongy pink ass
00:22:00 This is a kid show.
00:22:02 Those are chiIdren
00:22:06 You don't even see chiIdren anymore.
00:22:36 Bonsoir, le Smoochy.
00:22:39 WeIcome to Fatty ArbuckIe-Iand.
00:22:53 Don't worry, IittIe ones.
00:23:11 AII right!
00:23:13 I'II teII you something. That jiggy-ing
00:23:18 When I'm hungry, what time is it?
00:23:20 Magic Cookie Time!
00:23:24 -What?
00:23:28 That's right! Everybody in the middIe!
00:23:32 Get in the middIe!
00:23:37 AngeIo, hit me!
00:24:20 Give them a cookie.
00:24:24 Lookie, lookie, lookie
00:24:29 Fresh and organic
00:24:31 -No need to panic
00:24:34 Straight from the soil
00:24:39 Sweetened with juice
00:24:45 Whatever, fucking peasant.
00:24:49 -Who wants the first cookie?
00:24:52 Let's see what we got today!
00:24:55 Give them a cookie.
00:25:17 My!
00:25:21 It's a....
00:25:24 It's a....
00:25:30 A rocket ship!
00:25:32 It's a rocket ship to fIy us
00:25:37 Fuck!
00:25:38 FoIIow me!
00:25:40 We're fIying over the trees
00:25:44 What a speciaI day!
00:25:46 -SpeciaI cookies.
00:25:49 -It's a cock! It's not a rocket!
00:25:53 -RandoIph! Get him out!
00:25:57 It's a dick! Chorizo and the huevos!
00:25:59 It's a big stiffy!
00:26:02 It's a penis!
00:26:04 Penis maximus! A wiIIie!
00:26:07 Get him out of here!
00:26:09 The one-eyed wonder weaseI!
00:26:11 It's Jimmy and the twins.
00:26:15 He made this.
00:26:18 Wave bye-bye!
00:26:20 Thanks for visiting!
00:26:23 Let go of me!
00:26:25 I'm Rainbow-fucking-RandoIph.
00:26:47 I want to thank you aII
00:26:50 We have wrinkIes in the communication
00:26:55 I'm not pointing fingers. You start
00:27:00 It's not my intention to try
00:27:04 ...either of you.
00:27:08 Anyhoo, this is my new agent,
00:27:12 He has experience faciIitating
00:27:16 I think he'II heIp us through
00:27:19 Here's Burke!
00:27:22 Thank you, SheIdon.
00:27:24 Frank, you see this guy?
00:27:27 Because this guy saved your ass.
00:27:30 Without him, you'd be
00:27:33 ...sucking cIub soda
00:27:36 ...whiIe your tabIe at 21 was occupied
00:27:41 ...and his twat du jour.
00:27:43 -Excuse me.
00:27:45 We've aIways made arrangements.
00:27:49 I'm hoIding the gunpowder.
00:27:53 ...owns and controIs
00:27:57 You seem to forget...
00:27:58 ...we found this guy, dug up
00:28:03 ...when he couIdn't seII his face.
00:28:05 No, a Iot of peopIe
00:28:09 -They hired me....
00:28:12 I don't care if his Iast job
00:28:16 ...for Pygmies in the Congo.
00:28:18 This man fits the biII
00:28:22 He'II get what he deserves.
00:28:25 And what wouId that be, exactIy?
00:28:28 To the star and new executive producer
00:28:33 I'm stiII in shock.
00:28:35 Run me through this again.
00:28:40 Veto power over merchandising.
00:28:44 Cushy.
00:28:46 I must be dreaming.
00:28:48 Think of it as the high Iife.
00:28:51 You'II be pissing on $100 biIIs just
00:28:57 I couIdn't. I have too much respect
00:29:03 Yeah, he's a good man.
00:29:06 -What's this?
00:29:09 -What did you do, you snake?
00:29:15 Think of it as a tooI of the trade.
00:29:19 -I can't accept this.
00:29:22 -I don't beIieve in guns.
00:29:26 When we'd pIay cowboys and Indians
00:29:31 Trust me, it's a handy accessory
00:29:35 Let me get that for you.
00:29:37 Oh, boy.
00:29:39 When this guy comes over,
00:29:42 ...or he'II stay here
00:29:45 Love that one.
00:29:46 -Is that Spinner Dunn, the boxer?
00:29:50 You don't retire with an 81 -and-59
00:29:54 He's gotta be smart
00:29:58 Spinner? He couIdn't run
00:30:01 He's a mascot. It's his cousin,
00:30:05 Her and her boys, they run the joint.
00:30:09 How do you Iike that?
00:30:11 Strawberries and....
00:30:17 Here he comes.
00:30:22 Smoochy! Hey, I'm Spinner!
00:30:25 -I'm so excited to meet you!
00:30:31 -I'm Spinner.
00:30:34 -You're a fan of the show.
00:30:39 I Iove when you do
00:30:44 The one you do during SiIIy Time?
00:30:46 That's one of our big numbers.
00:30:51 You wanna see me do it?
00:30:53 -See you do the Jiggy Ziggy?
00:30:57 Sometime.
00:30:58 I'II do it for you here.
00:31:00 Smoochy, I'II do it, watch.
00:31:10 -Excuse me, senator.
00:31:12 -I Iove you so much.
00:31:16 -I'm Spinner.
00:31:18 Hey, Spinner.
00:31:24 You go ahead. It was a reaI honor.
00:31:27 -Smoochy's here!
00:31:31 Wait tiII I teII my foIks
00:31:34 -The one and onIy.
00:31:38 Don't go anywhere, Smoochy.
00:31:44 I think you made a new friend, kid.
00:31:48 Since RandoIph got pinched, there's air
00:31:54 The rhino's stiII a IittIe green.
00:31:59 He has to get a taste
00:32:02 I have no time for ''eventuaIIy.''
00:32:06 Sometimes ''oId'' doesn't happen.
00:32:09 I'm doing my best.
00:32:12 You got a probIem, son.
00:32:15 The rhino better Iearn
00:32:18 Otherwise, he might need
00:32:23 Wipe your forehead, Frank.
00:32:42 -Who is it?
00:32:46 It's been a Iong time.
00:32:52 -Randy?
00:32:55 -You Ieft me for the rhino!
00:32:59 You strapped that horn on pretty fast!
00:33:04 -Rhinette.
00:33:07 Say it before God
00:33:12 I'm a Rhinette, got that?!
00:33:14 The KrinkIe Kids
00:33:19 I missed you so much!
00:33:21 Can I stay here?
00:33:28 They kicked me out of the penthouse.
00:33:32 That's how I got this.
00:33:34 I got Iiens, back taxes, Iawyers'
00:33:38 I got the whoIe worId
00:33:42 Don't you worry.
00:33:46 Because what they sow,
00:33:58 Stop doing this.
00:34:01 But it's the rhino, Angie.
00:34:05 The deviI sent him from heII
00:34:09 Smoochy is the face of eviI.
00:34:35 CongratuIations, SheIdon.
00:34:37 -CongratuIations, Mr. Mopes.
00:34:41 Mr. Mopes, Iet me get that for you.
00:34:44 Your office is over here.
00:34:49 No, I gotta work tonight. I can't.
00:34:52 I'II come Sunday.
00:34:54 Okay. That's--
00:34:56 I want to taIk to you
00:34:59 Ma, can I caII you back?
00:35:03 Thanks. Bye.
00:35:04 -Yeah?
00:35:07 -If I didn't, you'd stiII be here.
00:35:11 I'm hoping to correct that.
00:35:14 Listen, Nora.
00:35:17 I can understand it might feeI
00:35:21 ...maybe intimidating,
00:35:25 I stiII vaIue your input.
00:35:29 Never. Even if I Iive to be 1000
00:35:34 I know we're not partners yet.
00:35:39 Let's penciI in a few Iunch dates,
00:35:43 Just you and me, aIone.
00:35:45 Chewing the fat, exchanging ideas.
00:35:48 Let's pIant the seeds
00:35:51 PIant this!
00:35:55 You know, Nora...
00:35:57 ...has anyone ever
00:36:00 ...maybe a high coIonic,
00:36:02 -Get out, hippie!
00:36:05 You get out!
00:36:06 You don't get to teII this boy
00:36:15 I'm gonna haIt here.
00:36:17 HALTis a seIf-recognition technique.
00:36:23 I won't get sucked
00:36:26 Want me? I'II be in my office.
00:36:30 -They aII have views, dumbshit!
00:36:34 Don't shut my door!
00:36:41 Hey....
00:36:45 ''Have a Iong and heaIthy run. Burke.''
00:36:48 My own patch of wheat grass.
00:36:51 Morning! Congrats on the bump.
00:36:54 Spinner has taken a reaI shine to you.
00:36:56 Since you come in, he can't stop
00:37:01 That's nice. I Iike Spinner.
00:37:06 ...big feIIa.
00:37:09 -Can you give him a IittIe fIoor space?
00:37:13 A part on the show.
00:37:17 You caII the shots, right?
00:37:20 Yes. Yes, I do.
00:37:22 The thing is, teIevision
00:37:26 Not just anybody can be
00:37:30 But his chances on teIevision are
00:37:36 Know what I'm saying?
00:37:39 This makes me very sad.
00:37:41 -What's wrong?
00:37:43 ...very sad right now.
00:37:46 Who made you sad, Tommy?
00:37:48 I don't Iike to mention names.
00:37:55 Say, feIIas, I just remembered.
00:37:57 We got a part
00:38:01 That's the soIution.
00:38:02 You're a good boy. We remember favors.
00:38:06 You're weIcome at our pIace anytime.
00:38:09 Okay.
00:38:12 Thanks for stopping by.
00:38:16 HeIIo?
00:38:18 Better grow eyes on
00:38:21 I won't sIeep untiI worms
00:38:24 I'm going on safari, motherfucker!
00:38:31 Gee whiz. What a day!
00:38:34 Do you ever knock?
00:38:36 CongratuIations on your ice show.
00:38:39 -SeIIout!
00:38:41 About you, and how you're a phony
00:38:46 ''I'm Smoochy. I don't care about money.
00:38:48 It's about a good show
00:38:52 You Iook good
00:38:56 Jam it in there nice and tight.
00:38:59 What happened to your
00:39:02 Or is that just part
00:39:12 I never agreed to a show!
00:39:14 Do you reaIize the shekeIs
00:39:18 These things represent
00:39:22 MindIess spectacIes whose purpose
00:39:27 ...and cheap pIastic toys
00:39:30 ...and get Iodged in some kid's septum.
00:39:33 -Where's our dignity?
00:39:36 You can't change the worId, buddy.
00:39:40 But you can make a dent.
00:39:42 No one has ever refused an ice show.
00:39:45 UntiI now. Smoochy doesn't seII out.
00:39:48 You shouId be proud to have a cIient
00:39:52 Yeah, I'm doing backfIips.
00:40:18 Wasn't that fun, in an
00:40:24 It sure was!
00:40:28 Did I do good? I did good, right?
00:40:31 -You did great, buddy.
00:40:35 Okay, be carefuI.
00:40:36 -Hey, Iady.
00:40:39 Casting mentaI patients.
00:40:42 Cut that out. GoIIy, he's not
00:40:46 He's a nightcIub owner and an
00:40:50 He just has the sweet disposition
00:40:53 And a cousin named Tommy Cotter.
00:40:56 At Ieast he's got a sense of humor!
00:40:59 That's more than I can say
00:41:08 What?
00:41:16 -Hi, there.
00:41:19 Get in.
00:41:21 That's okay. I'II grab a cab.
00:41:24 Humor me, rhino.
00:41:28 How do you Iike that?
00:41:34 Merv Green. Nice to meet you.
00:41:36 Ever try saying that without the gun?
00:41:39 I represent the Parade of Hope.
00:41:43 -You raise money for hospitaIs.
00:41:49 There's taIk that you're puIIing out
00:41:53 I'm not ''puIIing out,'' because
00:41:57 Nor wouId I ever agree
00:42:00 ...how is that your concern?
00:42:02 The Parade of Hope has sponsored
00:42:07 We take a IittIe, everyone's happy.
00:42:10 So Iet's not buck history!
00:42:12 For the gaziIIionth time, I have
00:42:16 If that's aII, Iet me out
00:42:20 Can I have the far corner?
00:42:22 Tomorrow, Smoochy raises his baton
00:42:26 Banquets, benefits, I want it aII.
00:42:31 You can puII over.
00:42:36 As far as the ice show goes,
00:42:46 This is unacceptabIe!
00:42:49 Don't. Rat on them and you'll
00:42:54 They're the roughest charity.
00:42:56 You haven't been Iistening!
00:42:59 I was threatened by an organization
00:43:04 -What kind of worId is this?
00:43:07 My advice? Consider the ice show
00:43:12 WeII, how do you Iike that?
00:43:17 -Hi.
00:43:19 Can I come in?
00:43:21 Sure.
00:43:23 -Everything okay?
00:43:26 Not that I want
00:43:29 ...but with aIcohoI, you're
00:43:32 I came here to apoIogize.
00:43:34 -ReaIIy?
00:43:36 And on these rare occasions
00:43:41 ...it heIps if I'm shitfaced.
00:43:44 -I'm supposed to feeI honored?
00:43:49 A IittIe out of Iine.
00:43:51 Don't worry. Last week you caIIed me
00:43:56 -You're not doing the ice show?
00:44:01 -Why didn't you teII me?
00:44:05 You get such a sparkIy gIow when you
00:44:11 I may have become
00:44:15 I bet.
00:44:16 Sincerity is an easy disguise.
00:44:22 That's true.
00:44:24 I've been Iearning a Iot
00:44:29 ''Sometimes Iight is reaIIy dark.
00:44:34 ''Sometimes winter feeIs Iike spring.
00:44:38 -Rickets the Hippo?
00:44:41 When I was a kid, he was
00:44:45 He was my inspiration
00:44:48 Me too! I took an anger management
00:44:52 ...we had to name a person representing
00:44:57 -He's the reason I created Smoochy!
00:45:02 When I teII peopIe about Rickets,
00:45:06 He was the best!
00:45:10 I did it for my first HoIy Communion.
00:45:13 -Get out! You did not!
00:45:15 You? The whoIe, Iike....
00:45:23 From me to you
00:45:33 -I shouId go.
00:45:37 -Stay a whiIe. I got Rickets on tape.
00:45:40 You sure? I got some fenneI tea.
00:45:44 -You shouId get that. Bye.
00:45:48 I'II see you down at the store.
00:45:54 -HeIIo?
00:45:58 I'm caIIing from Parents for Decency
00:46:04 No, but that's an issue cIose
00:46:08 Tomorrow we're having a banquet.
00:46:13 We want to present a pIaque to you
00:46:19 The presenter wiII be a young orphan
00:46:24 Yeah, I'd be happy to.
00:46:26 That'd be great. See you then.
00:46:28 I want to thank you for picking me up.
00:46:32 No worries. A chance to have
00:46:36 ...I'd stick my wiIIie in a nest of
00:46:39 That sounds extreme.
00:46:42 You're funny! There's vodka and chips
00:46:47 I don't know if you're aware of it,
00:46:52 I've never eaten Korean food.
00:46:56 That's why the wee ones
00:46:59 You can Iearn and Iaugh
00:47:02 It's such a fresh change from that
00:47:08 -What was his name?
00:47:11 RandoIph! That's the scoundreI.
00:47:16 What did you say?
00:47:17 He's a piIIow biter, you know?
00:47:20 I don't know about
00:47:24 But I do think he's got some probIems,
00:47:29 What do you mean?
00:47:30 I feeI sorry for him. He has issues.
00:47:34 But don't you take a particuIar gIee
00:47:39 ...and you're shoveIing dirt
00:47:42 No. I wouIdn't take pIeasure
00:47:46 Truth is, I thought
00:47:49 He's a miserabIe cocksucker! A fucking
00:47:56 Where did you say you're from?
00:48:10 The wee ones are ready for you.
00:48:13 I'm ready. Give me my ax.
00:48:15 Here we go. Let's shake a stick.
00:48:18 -This is reaIIy exciting for me.
00:48:22 I never pIayed
00:48:25 We keep it no-friIIs.
00:48:28 Great attitude.
00:48:32 -Know what my motto is?
00:48:35 ''You can't change the worId,
00:48:38 Don't worry.
00:48:41 -Go out there and hook a horn!
00:48:45 Auf Wiedersehen.
00:48:47 -Smoochy the Rhino!
00:48:54 It's great to be here, kids!
00:48:57 Sing aIong if you know it.
00:48:59 Friends, friends, we all got friends
00:49:04 Friends, friends, we all need friends
00:49:09 If I had a dollar
00:49:18 You know...
00:49:19 ...it's a IittIe hard to sing to your
00:49:25 CouId we just kiII that spot
00:49:38 Heil Smoochy!
00:49:50 I hope I'm dreaming.
00:49:55 Freeze!
00:49:58 Hands on your head. Line up!
00:50:08 -Do you read Mein Kampf?
00:50:12 Is Adolf Hitler your personal hero?
00:50:15 -I don't hate anybody!
00:50:18 How does it feel to be
00:50:47 Here at the Kidnet jungIe,
00:50:51 The Smoochy sIot wiII be
00:51:13 HeIIo, nippIe-nibbIer.
00:51:15 The rhino's a Nazi.
00:51:18 The rhino is screwed-o
00:51:46 Nora! Nora!
00:51:47 -It's me. I gotta taIk to you.
00:51:51 They're caIIing me fascist.
00:51:54 I'm being compared unfavorabIy
00:51:57 Hey. If the jackboot fits....
00:52:00 You beIieve what they're saying?
00:52:03 I don't have to.
00:52:06 That was a setup. I'm teIIing you!
00:52:09 This FetaIkunkIe guy
00:52:12 I had no idea it was a Nazi raIIy.
00:52:16 You'd think the 50-foot swastika
00:52:20 That was Iater.
00:52:24 It was Iike a nightmare.
00:52:27 It's jackboots and Gestapo
00:52:31 I need your heIp.
00:52:35 The fact is, I don't know you, okay?
00:52:38 -What?
00:52:42 Don't expect me to go out
00:52:45 But, Nora....
00:52:48 Nora!
00:52:50 What about the KIunky-Wunky dance?
00:52:53 I was drunk.
00:53:49 If you want a cup of juice, the
00:53:53 Bastards wiII sIap a new pair of tits
00:53:58 ...but they won't heIp a poor hophead.
00:54:03 I'd set things straight in this town.
00:54:06 BeIieve me.
00:54:11 HeII of a worId.
00:54:17 HeII of a worId.
00:54:35 What do you want?
00:54:37 Can you spare 60 seconds
00:54:44 HeIIo, kitten.
00:54:48 Here's the good news.
00:54:50 You and Frank are in a bind.
00:54:52 I'd be happy to end my sabbaticaI
00:54:56 I couId start Monday. No meat.
00:55:01 CaII costumes and props and teII them
00:55:06 Ready to start whistIing tunes
00:55:09 Whose toes you gotta suck
00:55:12 You got three seconds
00:55:16 You need someone for that sIot
00:55:21 In case you forgot, you're a criminaI
00:55:25 Have you forgotten what we once had?
00:55:28 That was a Iong time ago.
00:55:32 And Iimber. Why we broke up,
00:55:35 You were an asshoIe,
00:55:38 We couId have worked through that.
00:55:41 Goddamn it, Nora!
00:55:45 I'm a patriot compared to Mopes.
00:55:50 He was checking me out in the car.
00:55:54 -What's that mean?
00:55:56 He was checking you out in what car?
00:55:59 No, I'm just saying
00:56:02 Kind of a homosexuaI Nazi vibe.
00:56:07 What's with the costume?
00:56:10 You're taIking fast.
00:56:12 What do you mean? I'm not.
00:56:16 Were you at that raIIy?
00:56:21 You had something to do with this?
00:56:25 Did you set SheIdon up?
00:56:27 I know why we broke up now.
00:56:30 AIways with the accusations.
00:56:37 I miss Smoochy.
00:56:40 He couIdn't have done the things
00:56:43 He ain't no Nazi.
00:56:46 I want Smoochy back.
00:56:49 I wanna be on the TV again.
00:56:54 -Has Burke been here tonight?
00:56:59 It's about SheIdon.
00:57:01 SheIdon?
00:57:04 Hey, what about SheIdon?
00:57:09 I'm trying to sIeep, asshoIe!
00:57:16 HeIIo there, Mr. Rainbow.
00:57:21 Come here.
00:57:25 This is private property.
00:57:30 Danny, go give Mr. SmiIey
00:57:38 Start yakking.
00:57:39 What are you taIking about?
00:57:42 You're vioIating my--
00:57:52 You spud-sucking fucks!
00:57:56 I'II send you aII the way back home!
00:57:59 -Roy, have you got the hammer?
00:58:06 I did it. It was me. It was aII me.
00:58:09 Thank God we cIeared that up
00:58:22 Don't touch me!
00:58:26 How is it being the most hated man
00:58:29 In a country of NeanderthaIs,
00:58:32 Nora says you have
00:58:35 I bareIy know her.
00:58:39 She spreads Iike cream cheese.
00:58:42 What about rumors that you're crazy?
00:58:44 That's buIIshit! I'm on the same
00:58:49 Between my cIient's dwindIing cash
00:58:53 ...he's sinking into a depression.
00:58:56 Who grabbed my ass?
00:59:01 -Very nice.
00:59:02 I'm bIeeding! That's saImoneIIa!
00:59:06 Someone touched my ass.
00:59:09 Back off !
00:59:18 Man, it's crazy out there.
00:59:21 Listen...
00:59:23 ...I wanted to say I'm sorry.
00:59:25 I'm sorry I didn't beIieve you.
00:59:27 I got swept up in the frenzy
00:59:31 It's a house of mirrors. You can't
00:59:36 Yeah.
00:59:37 If it weren't for you,
00:59:41 Thanks.
00:59:44 Good.
00:59:45 -Five minutes.
00:59:48 I don't know Spanish,
00:59:51 It means ''good Iuck.''
00:59:59 Ladies and gentlemen...
01:00:01 ...boys and girls,
01:00:16 Smoochy!
01:00:26 You guys are the greatest!
01:00:31 Thanks, kids. Thanks a Iot.
01:00:36 I know I was away for too Iong.
01:00:38 You probabIy heard
01:00:42 Life outside the Magic JungIe...
01:00:45 ...can get pretty compIicated.
01:00:47 A Iot of ugIiness and injustice.
01:00:50 Sometimes being a good person....
01:00:55 And when that happens,
01:01:01 Maybe even start feeIing
01:01:05 I'II just say it.
01:01:07 Sometimes, boys and girIs,
01:01:12 You know what I do
01:01:16 When that pressure starts buiIding...
01:01:19 ...to where I feeI
01:01:23 And this rhino might have to put
01:01:27 You know what I do then?
01:01:30 I howI!
01:01:33 I take aII the things I don't Iike
01:01:44 Come on and howI with me now.
01:01:51 HowI it out!
01:01:53 Take aII that frustration inside...
01:01:55 ...baII it up and Iet it out in a howI!
01:02:29 Thanks a Iot, kids.
01:02:31 I feeI much better now.
01:02:34 So who wants to do the Jiggy Ziggy?
01:02:48 Smoochy is back!
01:02:52 Shut up!
01:02:54 Bad. Very bad.
01:03:00 Too much for brain. Pressure buiIding.
01:03:04 His popularity
01:03:07 I despise you!
01:03:09 I Ioathe you!
01:03:14 Bastard son of Barney!
01:03:19 Die, you son of fIuff !
01:03:22 IIIegitimate TeIetubby!
01:03:24 Die, Muppet from heII!
01:03:27 Die, you foam motherfucker!
01:03:30 What are you doing?
01:03:34 -It was an accident.
01:03:37 Where am I supposed to go?
01:03:39 -Put your sIippers on and get out!
01:03:44 I don't care anymore. I heIped you.
01:03:51 -I missed you so much!
01:03:54 SheIdon, Iook, I been practicing
01:03:58 I'm getting good at it.
01:04:01 No, but you're going to anyway.
01:04:07 You gotta Iove him.
01:04:11 First, the good news.
01:04:15 ...I am gonna do the ice show.
01:04:20 Now I got a bar mitzvah boy!
01:04:24 After everything, I reaIized...
01:04:26 ...it's a crime to waste your power.
01:04:29 -Rock bottom is a coIIege education.
01:04:34 I'm doing it myseIf.
01:04:35 No sponsors, no vendors, no crooks.
01:04:38 Not one dirty hand wiII touch this.
01:04:41 No one's gonna make
01:04:44 The Smoochy on Ice show
01:04:47 As far as the refreshments go,
01:04:52 And for free.
01:04:54 Sodium-free pretzeIs, appIe sIices,
01:04:59 -Wanna hear the best part?
01:05:02 HaIf the profits wiII go to
01:05:07 Are you teIIing me you wanna
01:05:11 -Not haIf. AII.
01:05:13 The other haIf we use to fund
01:05:17 Big junkies come from IittIe junkies.
01:05:21 You can't do a show
01:05:24 Not the Parade of Hope.
01:05:26 No, it's not.
01:05:29 You got muscIe,
01:05:32 I'II teII you something,
01:05:35 I got my cIout back
01:05:39 Make it happen.
01:05:43 SheI, heIp me. He's banging
01:05:47 I hate to take it, but I got a
01:05:51 I Iove Spinner, but I owe you.
01:05:55 Give him something eIse
01:05:58 Anything. So Iong as it
01:06:01 BIess you.
01:06:05 Save the rhino!
01:06:07 Save the rhino!
01:06:10 Save the rhino!
01:06:13 Save the rhino!
01:06:17 -Here you go.
01:06:19 Before it's too Iate, make a donation!
01:06:23 Thank you very much. Save the rhino--!
01:06:28 I need saving!
01:06:32 Save the Rainbow!
01:06:35 Your cIient's put me
01:06:39 A situation Merv Green hoIds me
01:06:43 Enough said.
01:06:44 Rhino's got me in a box
01:06:47 I feeI for you.
01:06:51 I bring you in. On everything.
01:06:54 You'd be my partner, down
01:06:57 We got a chance to get back on track.
01:07:02 The good oId days.
01:07:03 Pre-rhinoceros.
01:07:07 Let me noodIe it.
01:07:11 No one freezes me out.
01:07:12 I don't care how many cIinics
01:07:15 We gotta deaI with this.
01:07:18 You're aggravating me.
01:07:21 I'm here to educate.
01:07:23 Stokes wiII get an education
01:07:28 This is about Mopes.
01:07:32 -He's taIking to peopIe he shouIdn't.
01:07:37 He thinks he'II cIean up our business.
01:07:40 There's onIy one way
01:07:48 Boys, we have a serious probIem.
01:07:53 This is a story about
01:07:57 ...and his aggressive campaign...
01:07:59 ...to sIander, viIify,
01:08:03 ...and viIIainize my good name!
01:08:06 But the one thing he can't do
01:08:11 OnIy I can do that.
01:08:14 Smoochy did this to me.
01:08:16 I can no Ionger Iive in a worId
01:08:20 ...and the wicked thrive!
01:08:37 I'm sorry to put you through this,
01:08:40 Don't try and taIk me out of this.
01:08:45 You won't see another Rainbow RandoIph
01:08:49 This is for you, Smoochy!
01:08:52 You did this to me!
01:09:03 No!
01:09:05 What you doing, Rainbow RandoIph?
01:09:16 It's okay.
01:09:23 It's Smoochy! Come on!
01:09:27 Come on, it's Smoochy.
01:09:43 I Iove you!
01:09:50 God! What does it aII mean?!
01:09:55 He slams the door, he stomps his feet
01:09:58 Sends me to bed with zilch to eat
01:10:02 But my stepdad's not mean
01:10:08 His temper's bad and he's a slob
01:10:14 But my stepdad's not mean
01:10:19 So three cheers for the man
01:10:25 He's not quite a dad or a brother
01:10:28 Yes, he gets cross
01:10:33 And besides he takes care of my mother
01:10:37 Be patient with new friends like Stan
01:10:41 It's tough to be Mom's second man
01:10:44 But your stepdad's not mean
01:10:50 So remember, kids, a stepdad
01:10:54 They need patience whiIe
01:10:58 But remember, if he's ever abusive
01:11:02 ...what are the magic numbers?
01:11:04 911!
01:11:07 That's right!
01:11:08 Now, I am very excited...
01:11:11 ...to introduce a surprise visitor
01:11:16 WeIcome, aII the way from
01:11:21 ...my cousin, Moochy!
01:11:29 Come on down here, Mooch!
01:11:32 You big drink of water! How are you?
01:11:36 Thanks for coming aII this way!
01:11:38 Say heIIo to the boys
01:11:50 My name is Moochy.
01:11:52 Yes, we've estabIished that.
01:11:55 This costume's
01:12:07 That was so much fun!
01:12:09 Man, did you do great!
01:12:11 And the ice show is
01:12:14 I'm gonna skate out in circIes
01:12:21 You're Iooking forward
01:12:24 Boy, being back at the coIiseum,
01:12:29 ...and with the crowds,
01:12:33 ...it's gonna be Iike....
01:12:39 It's gonna be great, champ.
01:12:42 SheIdon, I Iove you.
01:12:45 I Iove you too, buddy.
01:12:49 I'II teII you,
01:12:52 ...and take aII my headgear off,
01:12:59 Okay, okay. AII right.
01:13:09 He's excited about the ice show.
01:13:12 I've been reading so much about it.
01:13:15 We're getting a Iot of ink.
01:13:18 It's great, what you're doing.
01:13:20 Thanks.
01:13:22 You inspired me to use my
01:13:26 I reaIIy do appreciate that.
01:13:29 Good.
01:13:33 Thanks.
01:13:36 -The stepfather segment went weII.
01:13:40 I don't know what was
01:13:43 The energy was just
01:13:47 Yeah.
01:13:49 Yeah.
01:13:58 You're not fuII of shit Iike
01:14:02 TotaIIy!
01:14:04 I mean, I couIdn't teII.
01:14:07 First, I thought it was an act.
01:14:12 And then I just thought
01:14:17 It's understandabIe.
01:14:22 There was the whoIe Nazi thing!
01:14:24 I forgive you for that.
01:14:49 What round is it?
01:15:25 Former heavyweight contender
01:15:29 ...was found shot to death in a
01:15:33 How'd you hit the wrong rhino?
01:15:36 Who knew he had a cousin?
01:15:39 Smoochy's fuchsia, Moochy's burgundy!
01:15:43 -You have to go back to kindergarten?!
01:15:48 -I'm not taking the bIame for this.
01:15:53 Your time wiII come!
01:15:58 -He wanted to be in the show so bad.
01:16:03 I'm sorry, Spinner. I'm so sorry.
01:16:07 -He Ioved you, SheI.
01:16:10 I guarantee that fucking RandoIph
01:16:14 We'II cut off his baIIs
01:16:17 Maybe we shouId Ieave
01:16:20 Cops won't do the baII thing.
01:16:23 Don't forget, this was meant for you.
01:16:25 From now on, everywhere you go, we go!
01:16:28 -I'II be fine.
01:16:30 As Christ is my witness,
01:16:34 -Spinner wouId've wanted it that way.
01:16:37 AII right, boys. Let's go pray
01:16:41 Yeah, you do that.
01:16:43 You have one for me, okay?
01:16:46 Try not to hurt anyone, Roy.
01:17:11 How Iong was RandoIph
01:17:14 Just a coupIe of nights, officer.
01:17:22 Smoochy?
01:17:25 Tommy's here!
01:17:35 You sure? The cops have a Iot
01:17:39 We investigated ourseIves.
01:17:42 Cousin Ian from down at the morgue.
01:17:46 See the neck?
01:17:50 Parade of Hope.
01:17:53 -What's that guy's name over there?
01:17:59 This is one tab they
01:18:03 I knew he was a jizz-bag when he
01:18:08 Mr. Green wiII get a first-cIass ride
01:18:14 It's aII taken care of.
01:18:16 How do you mean?
01:18:17 Sometimes in this Iife, a man's got
01:18:23 It was a mistake. An honest mistake.
01:18:29 -You Iike kids, huh?
01:18:31 You know fairy taIes then.
01:18:33 TeII him the one about the prick...
01:18:36 ...that gets his head
01:18:41 No!
01:18:50 I don't feeI so good about this
01:18:54 -We took his head and--
01:18:57 ...more information than I care
01:19:02 I'm having second thoughts.
01:19:05 ReIax, it's aII good.
01:19:07 They found Merv's head in
01:19:11 We'II take the whoIe baII of wax.
01:19:13 Going in with Buggy Ding Dong's
01:19:16 Leave him to me. Once he does it,
01:19:20 We Iight up the Macanudos!
01:19:23 ReIax!
01:19:25 Where is our guest of honor?
01:19:28 -Our smack addict?
01:19:30 We're reIying on a smack addict.
01:19:37 Sorry I'm Iate, man.
01:19:41 Looking good, Buggy.
01:19:44 Excuse me if I smeII Iike piss.
01:19:48 God heIp us.
01:19:53 -You want a drink?
01:19:56 I do this thing tonight
01:19:59 With a bow on it.
01:20:01 The thing is, we gotta put it to rest.
01:20:10 Buggy?
01:20:18 We're in, right? We're set?
01:20:20 Sure.
01:20:22 Look at aII the pretty Iights.
01:20:24 Every cop's Iooking for you.
01:20:29 -I wanted to be a priest.
01:20:32 Do you beIieve in angeIs?
01:20:35 I saw one in Times Square.
01:20:41 She was the onIy one
01:20:44 She saved my Iife.
01:20:46 You don't want to kiII yourseIf.
01:20:51 Perhaps it's time to heaI.
01:20:53 Admit that Smoochy has won
01:20:58 Now you're taIking.
01:21:03 Did you bring Iunch?
01:21:05 Just Iike you asked.
01:21:07 -May I have some?
01:21:12 Attaboy!
01:21:14 I got you some crossword puzzIes
01:21:32 You okay?
01:21:35 First he takes my career,
01:21:40 She's not your girI anymore.
01:21:42 The baIIs on that fuchsia fuck!
01:21:46 I'II tear him apart! Piece by piece!
01:21:50 -Piece by piece!
01:21:54 I'II take him apart, hoof by hoof !
01:21:57 Horn by horn!
01:21:59 -Once and for aII, now and forever!
01:22:05 Motherfucker!
01:22:17 Yeah.
01:22:19 Can I heIp you?
01:22:21 I got news, Nora.
01:22:23 Buggy?
01:22:24 How you doing, appIe cheeks?
01:22:29 -What are you doing?
01:22:32 Oh, yeah?
01:22:33 Yeah! He's gonna
01:22:36 He's gonna give me a shot.
01:22:41 -What are you taIking about?
01:22:45 Like a magnificent phoenix,
01:22:51 I've aIways been smitten
01:22:54 -Let me show you my Buggy bumper.
01:22:59 Keep in touch.
01:23:02 Keep in touch.
01:23:05 Stokes cut a deaI with Buggy
01:23:08 Buggy Ding Dong, the host of
01:23:12 UntiI he discovered the joys of
01:23:15 Why wouId Stokes repIace
01:23:19 I don't know.
01:23:21 Somebody toss me a beach toweI,
01:23:26 What's up?!
01:23:29 Two for the price of one!
01:23:32 How serendipitous.
01:23:34 -Get the fuck out of here!
01:23:38 -Okay, Iet's just aII take it easy.
01:23:43 -What?
01:23:45 You snatched her away,
01:23:49 -Cork it, asshoIe!
01:23:53 Didn't she teII you of the Iove
01:23:56 Passionate, yet tender.
01:24:00 RandoIph, you've Iost your mind.
01:24:02 EnIighten the Iad, Nora! You were
01:24:06 -Does the bridIe stiII fit?
01:24:09 Experiments?
01:24:12 PIease. It's smaII, but it's fierce!
01:24:16 HoId the phone here.
01:24:18 Are you teIIing me this is true?
01:24:22 No. You know, yeah.
01:24:25 How do you Iike that?
01:24:28 You're just an action figure
01:24:32 Shut up before I jaw you again.
01:24:34 I got Mr. Boomy, missy!
01:24:38 You dated JingIe Jackson too?
01:24:41 She used to Iike to pIay
01:24:45 What about WaIIy the WhaIe?
01:24:47 How couId you do it
01:24:50 There she bIows!
01:24:52 I can't beIieve you didn't
01:24:56 Listen, SheIdon, I'm not proud of it.
01:25:01 But there was a time in my Iife...
01:25:03 ...when I was a bit
01:25:06 -My God, I feeI dizzy.
01:25:10 You're different. It was another time.
01:25:14 You've shown me a worId
01:25:19 -ReaIIy?
01:25:23 What the fuck am I watching here?
01:25:25 Your IittIe soap opera? Shut up!
01:25:29 This is my show!
01:25:31 Do you know the power
01:25:35 I don't think you want
01:25:38 Go bIow yourseIf, Martha!
01:25:42 Dian Fossey!
01:25:45 There, I had a painting
01:25:50 Very tastefuI, no bush.
01:25:54 We know you didn't kiII Spinner,
01:25:58 Thank you, Mother Teresa.
01:26:00 TeII that to the mob outside.
01:26:04 I'm Iike a goddamn toaster at Macy's!
01:26:08 We'II go to the poIice tomorrow.
01:26:12 It'II aII work out fine.
01:26:19 Do not start with your
01:26:23 I am Pharaoh! And you are my sIave.
01:26:28 And this is my kingdom!
01:26:34 Rainbow Randolph is the man
01:26:38 He's the prez of Rainbow Land
01:26:42 With some fun, fun here
01:26:45 Here a dance, there a song
01:26:48 Rainbow Randolph is the king
01:26:58 -Get the gun.
01:27:00 Get the gun.
01:27:05 -You're hurting me!
01:27:08 The fIames are too hot!
01:27:19 Go ahead, kiII me!
01:27:21 Go ahead, finish me off ! I'm nothing!
01:27:25 Put me out of my misery.
01:27:28 You're not nothing, aII right?
01:27:31 You're bitter, misguided and you got
01:27:35 But you're Rainbow RandoIph.
01:27:39 You've made a Iot of chiIdren happy.
01:27:44 WiII you be my friend?
01:27:48 Sure.
01:27:51 I Iove you both.
01:27:54 -You're going down to their IeveI.
01:27:58 She's right. Don't make the same
01:28:04 My baIIs! They're on fire!
01:28:06 I appreciate everybody's concern.
01:28:11 I tried.
01:28:13 We gotta get to the arena
01:28:16 You can stay here
01:28:19 -You've got a good man there.
01:28:23 He's the reaI thing.
01:28:26 Thanks.
01:28:28 I'm a fraud. A wicked man
01:28:32 WeII, it's Iike the song says:
01:28:36 ''We aII got our bad days.''
01:28:42 -Buggy.
01:28:44 What are you doing?!
01:28:48 I did. I cIeaned up haIf
01:29:10 -Can I get a pretzeI?
01:29:13 With mustard. Everything's free.
01:29:16 -Here you go.
01:29:18 Sorry, our pretzeIs are saIt-free.
01:29:32 -We shouId caII it off.
01:29:35 There's a Iot of kids and junkies
01:29:40 I got a job to do.
01:29:44 Come on, wish me Iuck.
01:29:48 -Hi?
01:29:49 What wiII you wear to the show?
01:29:53 -Buggy's been here.
01:29:56 He broke in and lifted
01:29:59 He's doing a job for Burke.
01:30:02 Gonna get a show
01:30:04 -He's higher than a prom dress in June.
01:30:09 -No shit.
01:30:12 The cops wiII jump on you
01:30:14 Burke and Ding Dong
01:30:17 I have to save the rhino.
01:30:20 Randy!
01:30:22 America's favorite rhino.
01:30:25 ...boys and girls, here's Smoochy!
01:30:35 Thank you.
01:30:37 Thank you.
01:30:39 For myseIf and the soon-
01:30:43 ...I want to thank you aII
01:30:48 Hip, hip, hooray.
01:30:53 You aII came here to hear
01:30:57 ...but we've got something different,
01:31:01 I've toId you how important it is
01:31:06 If I didn't share with you what
01:31:11 ...I wouIdn't be a very honest rhino,
01:31:15 I'm going on a journey today
01:31:19 You need your true friends
01:31:31 This is for Spinner.
01:33:05 Don't Iet them get you, Smoochy!
01:33:22 It's Rainbow RandoIph!
01:33:25 No, I just Iook Iike him.
01:33:28 I'm trying to save a friend
01:33:32 For the kids? Okay.
01:36:13 Excuse me.
01:36:20 Goodbye, Smoochy.
01:36:35 You shot Smoochy, you bastard!
01:36:39 Give me the gun!
01:36:41 I've gotta kiII him!
01:36:48 Get off of me!
01:36:53 Give me that gun!
01:37:01 It's Buggy!
01:37:02 -What do we do now?
01:37:07 It's Buggy!
01:37:11 That's RandoIph!
01:37:12 Let go of me, you fucking junkie!
01:37:19 I never saw Venice!
01:37:32 You okay?
01:37:34 I'm fucked up in generaI,
01:37:39 It's Burke, he set you up!
01:37:41 He tried to kiII you! There he is!
01:37:45 He's getting away!
01:37:49 -Burke, get back here!
01:38:07 Look, it's Smoochy!
01:38:11 Hey, it's Smoochy!
01:38:13 Stop him!
01:38:15 -Honey, it's Smoochy!
01:39:11 You puII a gun on me?
01:39:15 Where's your etiquette?
01:39:17 -I'II teII you a secret about a gun.
01:39:20 You have to cock it.
01:39:23 Drop it, shithead!
01:39:34 Don't you move!
01:39:36 -You okay?
01:39:39 You....
01:39:40 Take it easy.
01:39:42 You were my agent.
01:39:45 -It was circumstances.
01:39:49 It was a mistake.
01:39:53 He was my friend, you son of a bitch!
01:39:56 Get up! Get up and Iook at me!
01:39:59 -You gonna shoot me?
01:40:01 Not very Smoochy-Iike.
01:40:03 I don't feeI very
01:40:07 Wait.
01:40:08 Let me teII you something.
01:40:12 No!
01:40:14 -SheIdon, haIt!
01:40:18 Tommy, stay out of this.
01:40:20 Don't destroy who you are
01:40:27 Give me the gun.
01:40:32 My God, what am I doing?
01:40:35 Come on, now. That's it.
01:40:38 I'm sorry. I don't know how
01:40:42 You're onIy human, darIing.
01:40:49 What shouId we do about these guys?
01:40:52 Don't worry, we'II deaI with them.
01:40:54 -You won't do anything extreme?
01:40:58 -Off you go.
01:41:01 Macanudos, my ass!
01:41:04 We're in deep shit. Deep shit.
01:41:13 You boys ever traveIed
01:41:28 It's a beautifuI city, but there's
01:41:33 You heIped give it
01:41:37 You think?
01:41:39 Thanks.
01:41:40 Let's go home, Smooch.
01:41:44 No, it isn't. It's just beginning.
01:42:08 With great pIeasure I introduce
01:42:13 ...side by side, shouIder to shouIder,
01:42:17 ...boys and girIs, pIease weIcome