Dorian Blues

en
00:01:26 He died ten years ago,
00:01:28 ...its good to talk about it sometimes.
00:01:31 I find it's good to
00:01:33 My therapist says
00:01:35 That I overanalyze.
00:01:36 Of course, she's bulimic so
00:01:39 But the first thing you
00:01:43 I'm gay, and what's more,
00:01:47 Always loved fashion,
00:01:50 ...and though it doesn't
00:01:52 ...it did in my family
00:01:54 ...and there was my
00:01:57 He wouldn't look at another
00:02:00 ...was our school's star
00:02:04 When they say high school are
00:02:06 ...there talking about
00:02:10 Look at that smile like he
00:02:12 Hey whoa, hold on a sec
00:02:16 Thanks.
00:02:17 Really had to
00:02:19 See, confidence for my
00:02:23 I don't care if its
00:02:26 Oh, great, company.
00:02:28 Yeah, don't ask me her name.
00:02:30 Yeah, Hi.
00:02:31 Good to see ya.
00:02:33 No, it's OK Nick.
00:02:34 Go on, play.
00:02:36 I envied him, 'cause
00:02:39 Dad loved normal.
00:02:41 There's Dad now,
00:02:44 Dad was usually
00:02:46 This, actually is one of
00:02:48 And there's mom,
00:02:51 This is about 14
00:02:54 The funeral I showed you
00:02:57 This is where we start.
00:02:58 Bush, the father, was
00:03:00 I was a senior in high
00:03:03 ...a Junior, and Dad was
00:03:06 Of course it
00:03:08 There was the dinner hour,
00:03:11 ...or, more accurately,
00:03:15 There was an unwritten
00:03:17 You did not disagree
00:03:19 ...especially about politics.
00:03:21 So, to exert your
00:03:23 ...agreed with him in the most
00:03:28 Well, that was our mistake in
00:03:32 ...gave the communists the
00:03:35 ...the resolve for a long fight.
00:03:37 U h, and that our free press
00:03:42 Well put.
00:03:44 Well put.
00:03:46 You know N icky, you make more
00:03:49 I mean doesn't he,
00:03:51 Good job, son.
00:03:53 But as this particular dinner
00:03:57 ...certain of everything,
00:04:00 ...began to happen to me.
00:04:02 For the first time in my life,
00:04:06 The more I fought the urge,
00:04:12 I disagree.
00:04:17 I'm sorry.
00:04:18 I said, I disagree?
00:04:23 - Oh, I forgot the applesauce...
00:04:25 - It's right in the refrigerator.
00:04:27 Everyone in our house has a
00:04:30 So what's yours, Dorian?
00:04:31 You tell us exactly
00:04:34 N ixon.
00:04:35 I don't think he was
00:04:37 I think he was a bad
00:04:39 I think what Dorian
00:04:40 I meant what I said, Nick.
00:04:41 Why?
00:04:42 Why was N ixon a
00:04:45 Well he wasn't honest.
00:04:46 Oh.
00:04:49 Kennedy?
00:04:49 Yeah, uh, was
00:04:51 ...with the way he won
00:04:53 You know, with Cook
00:04:55 ...the West Virginia Primaries?
00:04:57 Well, I'm sure he
00:04:59 I don't think any
00:05:00 Well then I'm legitimately
00:05:03 ...both dishonest why
00:05:05 ...and have a picture
00:05:07 A lot of reasons.
00:05:08 - You thought JFK was great.
00:05:10 Well then, your criterion for
00:05:13 ...otherwise by your own
00:05:15 I'm not a hypocrite.
00:05:17 No, no.
00:05:18 That's what I'm struggling with,
00:05:20 ...a hypocrite your
00:05:22 Kennedy wasn't a
00:05:25 Oh, N ixon is a paranoid
00:05:28 I think so.
00:05:29 - So this is an expert opinion.
00:05:31 Well, yeah.
00:05:33 I mean that's a rather
00:05:36 ...paranoid schizophrenic.
00:05:38 So I was wondering if, if you
00:05:42 A psychiatric degree that
00:05:46 ...such a conclusive diagnosis
00:05:49 No.
00:05:50 Maybe you think because you
00:05:52 ...of your own it makes you sort
00:06:00 Discussion over.
00:06:08 You know, I will give you one
00:06:12 ...great American president;
00:06:15 ...who said: "I would rather sit
00:06:19 I have nothing intelligent to
00:06:23 ...and remove all doubt.
00:06:27 I got shot down,
00:06:29 'cause it jarred something.
00:06:31 Later that night,
00:06:33 For the first time in my life,
00:06:37 Not just confused, or going
00:06:41 That night I came out
00:06:45 But this only
00:06:47 I was anxiety-ridden
00:06:49 I needed to talk to someone.
00:06:51 But there was no one in
00:06:54 I didn't have any
00:06:56 High school.
00:06:58 Finally in my desperation
00:07:01 ...at social services where I met
00:07:04 ...with a few issues of his own.
00:07:07 You mind if I drink?
00:07:08 U h, no.
00:07:09 We're not, you know,
00:07:11 Look if you're having
00:07:13 I am having a bad day,
00:07:16 ...my girlfriend and
00:07:20 Oh, I'm sorry.
00:07:21 You wanna know the truth?
00:07:22 I think after the
00:07:24 I'm really gonna see this
00:07:27 Because this woman was
00:07:31 I mean making demands
00:07:34 ...you know what she wanted
00:07:37 She wanted me to enroll
00:07:40 ...what do you call it...
00:07:45 How'd you feel about that?
00:07:46 Pissed me off.
00:07:48 Because it's not about anger,
00:07:54 You know, about
00:07:56 ...and my friends and my... You
00:08:02 If you're not happy with me,
00:08:05 ...then you can leave.
00:08:07 - So she left.
00:08:08 Anyway, what can we at the
00:08:12 ...do for you today?
00:08:13 I heard you can provide
00:08:15 Maybe someone who specializes
00:08:20 Sexual...
00:08:21 Someone who thinks
00:08:24 Oooh.
00:08:25 Hmm... Here you go,
00:08:31 Therapy for... what you got.
00:08:36 - Is this the lowered rate?
00:08:38 I guess I can't
00:08:39 Totally overrated
00:08:42 Look pal, whatever's
00:08:44 ...just hash it out with
00:08:46 That usually works.
00:08:48 - Really?
00:08:49 Well I suppose I could
00:08:51 If you're mother's a good thing
00:08:54 Mine wasn't in mine.
00:08:58 Things are looking up.
00:09:03 - Mom?
00:09:04 I need to talk.
00:09:08 Then you sit right
00:09:10 Thank you.
00:09:18 - What are you doing?
00:09:21 I can do this and
00:09:25 Talk to me.
00:09:28 Mom.
00:09:32 Mom.
00:09:39 Mom, I'm afraid I'm different.
00:09:41 God made us all
00:09:42 ...to keep life interesting.
00:09:44 - You, he made moody.
00:09:46 Look Mom, I've gotta face it.
00:09:48 I'm not like the
00:09:50 You never wanted
00:09:52 You called them Neanderthals.
00:09:53 True, I didn't want to be like
00:09:57 ...too hard because now
00:09:59 I find myself envying
00:10:02 Well, you know how
00:10:04 Envy's not the point.
00:10:05 Ok, just one second now
00:10:07 - OK.
00:10:09 All right.
00:10:10 Last week I bought chocolate
00:10:13 Should I not get chocolate
00:10:15 ...and just stick with oatmeal?
00:10:16 Is that what you're
00:10:18 The only difference between
00:10:21 Some people got
00:10:24 Well, that night I decided someone
00:10:27 So before Nick left for this big
00:10:39 Don't freak out.
00:10:40 Please, don't freak out.
00:10:47 Thank you for
00:10:48 How many people have
00:10:50 - Nobody.
00:10:51 Do you understand me?
00:10:52 Don't ever talk like
00:10:55 Jesus Christ man, if Dad
00:10:56 ...he'd bury you in the basement.
00:10:58 I'm not telling Dad.
00:11:00 But I think some people
00:11:02 Who?
00:11:03 Well, some guys
00:11:04 Who at school?
00:11:05 Who cares, N icky?
00:11:08 - I cannot hide it forever.
00:11:11 You do not have a
00:11:12 You've always been
00:11:14 ...screwed up individual...
00:11:15 I've been confused
00:11:22 Oh man, don't cry.
00:11:26 - Stop crying, Dorian.
00:11:31 Dude.
00:11:37 OK.
00:11:40 OK.
00:11:43 Look, I promised Kev Halen
00:11:44 ...and help him set up so, um,
00:11:47 ...have a few beers we'll clear...
00:11:49 No, that's OK.
00:11:51 I'm fine, really.
00:11:53 Dorian this a lot for me to
00:11:57 Look, I know you like
00:11:59 This is a big one, so
00:12:01 ...we'll stay up as late as you want,
00:12:04 Thanks.
00:12:20 You need to talk now,
00:12:21 - Mmm-hmm.
00:12:24 So we talked.
00:12:25 And when the phone started
00:12:28 ...wanted my brother
00:12:29 ...he told Mom to tell
00:12:31 We had our own party.
00:12:33 Got drunk, played poker for
00:12:36 ...told jokes about Mom
00:12:39 Turned out to be
00:12:41 Truly classic.
00:12:42 The kind of night
00:12:44 ...maybe high school really are
00:12:59 - Can I help you?
00:13:01 We were just wondering if you could
00:13:05 Dictionaries out of print?
00:13:07 Well, you know we thought
00:13:09 ...to ask a smart person.
00:13:12 What word?
00:13:14 U h, what was that again guys?
00:13:17 Oh yeah, yeah.
00:13:18 It was, um homo... Homosexual.
00:13:25 Could you tell us how you
00:13:29 And then maybe use
00:13:33 I would define it as someone
00:13:36 So... Should we be
00:13:43 Come on, that is so rude when
00:13:46 We're not talking.
00:13:50 Listen, faggot.
00:13:51 I don't know who you think
00:13:54 Look out, Cal.
00:13:55 Hey.
00:13:56 Aw.
00:13:57 Shit, man.
00:13:59 Hey, N ick, I was just
00:14:02 Yeah?
00:14:03 You know, there's a lot more
00:14:06 You ought to branch
00:14:15 See what I mean?
00:14:17 Just keep denying it.
00:14:19 You tell a lie long
00:14:22 ...eventually they'll
00:14:23 So your advice is
00:14:25 You know what I mean.
00:14:27 Yes.
00:14:28 Yeah, and lock the door.
00:14:42 What you writing?
00:14:43 Just, uh, my own journal.
00:14:46 All your private thoughts?
00:14:53 - Like what?
00:14:55 So what?
00:14:56 No, uh thanks.
00:14:58 - Wanna hear one of mine?
00:15:00 I mean, uh, I'm sure yours
00:15:04 ...mine are more than
00:15:14 Bunch of Neanderthals.
00:15:44 ## Take the last train
00:15:46 ## and I'll meet you
00:15:49 ## You can be there
00:15:51 ## 'cause I made
00:15:54 ## Don't be slow. ##
00:15:56 ## Oh, no, no, no. ##
00:15:58 ## Oh, no, no, no! ##
00:16:02 ## Dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee. ##
00:16:03 ## Dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee. ##
00:16:04 ## Dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee,
00:16:06 ## Take the last train
00:16:09 ## and I must hang up the phone. ##
00:16:11 ## I can't hear you in this
00:16:15 ## I'm feeling low. ##
00:16:18 ## Oh, no, no, no. ##
00:16:20 ## Oh, no, no, no! ##
00:16:33 Hey, where'd you
00:16:35 What are you, my keeper?
00:16:37 No, I was just looking
00:16:38 Don't look for me.
00:16:40 What are you
00:16:44 Hey, you know something?
00:16:47 You look kind of guilty.
00:16:49 Did you do something wrong?
00:16:51 Get out of here.
00:16:54 Hey, did you
00:16:57 We connected in this
00:17:01 It was like...
00:17:06 Yes.
00:17:08 We're both alike, we're
00:17:14 Both aliens.
00:17:16 Do you feel like
00:17:17 Yes.
00:17:18 Not any more.
00:17:19 - How long did it take you.
00:17:21 Well, uh, I don't
00:17:24 I've got to go to
00:17:26 You've got to get
00:17:29 Plus, I can't afford
00:17:31 I'm dipping into my
00:17:32 Relax.
00:17:34 We'll do our best.
00:17:35 Oh, there's a
00:17:36 "relax, we'll do our best".
00:17:39 Usually followed by
00:17:42 What do you love most
00:17:44 U h, I have a good heart.
00:17:46 And what do you
00:17:47 Um, my anxiety.
00:17:50 What do you love the
00:17:51 Oh, I see the questions get
00:17:54 Why don't you tell
00:17:56 Because, it would be the
00:17:59 ...and I am not that strong.
00:18:02 See that dummy over there?
00:18:04 - Know who that is?
00:18:07 Very good.
00:18:08 I'd like for you to go over there
00:18:11 Just... Talk to him.
00:18:26 Hey Dad.
00:18:29 What?
00:18:29 He says now's
00:18:34 Hey Dad, this is
00:18:36 - I'm not here.
00:18:41 Dad, I've been seeing
00:18:45 ...and he... Uh, he's a doctor
00:18:51 U h, right, not an M.D. Uh...
00:18:56 I don't know why he
00:18:58 OK.
00:18:59 Annoying, isn't he?
00:19:00 Yeah, but he's not
00:19:02 ...he's just going to listen.
00:19:04 All right.
00:19:06 Dad, I just wanted you to
00:19:09 ...ummm... Uh...
00:19:15 Dad, umm...
00:19:17 Got some work to do, huh?
00:19:29 Did you ever get to spend any
00:19:32 ...just you and him?
00:19:33 Well... There was the time
00:19:41 - Know what you did wrong?
00:19:42 - You were driving too fast.
00:19:44 I was going the speed limit.
00:19:46 That speed limit is for
00:19:48 ...under ideal conditions.
00:19:50 Not you, on a wet road.
00:19:52 To be fair, it is
00:19:55 ...for any parent to teach
00:19:57 I don't know, he
00:20:05 I got to tell you, N icky... You have
00:20:11 Doesn't he?
00:20:12 Doesn't he?
00:20:19 I want you to explore this
00:20:24 - You were seven.
00:20:26 You initially went to your
00:20:28 - Mommy?
00:20:30 - I'm scared.
00:20:32 Going to war.
00:20:33 But there is no war, honey.
00:20:36 Mrs. Tilly says there's
00:20:39 ...and then maybe I'm old enough.
00:20:41 If there's another war,
00:20:43 Really, how come?
00:20:44 Cause we would all pack our bags
00:20:47 - Where's Canada?
00:20:50 And they don't have
00:20:55 - What is it?
00:20:57 So, don't want to
00:21:01 Amen.
00:21:04 So what do you think instead?
00:21:07 Mom says Canada
00:21:09 No, no, they don't have wars.
00:21:11 They don't have wars
00:21:13 We're their line of defense
00:21:17 But, what do you think might
00:21:21 ...ever got wind of the fact
00:21:23 ...would rather run up to Canada
00:21:29 They might get it into their
00:21:31 ...have Texas and Oklahoma,
00:21:35 And then Virginia,
00:21:37 ...then New York and at that
00:21:40 ...from running right on
00:21:44 ...looking for the likes of you,
00:21:50 ...right in the belly?
00:21:55 No, you're not
00:22:00 You're going to war.
00:22:04 And you may get killed, but
00:22:10 ...for your country.
00:22:49 Dad, I'm gay.
00:23:01 I love you.
00:23:04 It's a common development.
00:23:07 I thought that's
00:23:09 What did you want me to
00:23:10 Maybe.
00:23:11 All right, Dorian.
00:23:13 Not like that, not like
00:23:16 ...and I just happen to
00:23:23 Besides the fact that
00:23:26 ...a first experience and that
00:23:30 ...besides those things, what
00:23:35 I guess that's
00:23:38 I'm still flattered.
00:23:40 However, I do not under any
00:23:46 Could you maybe refer
00:24:41 Forgive me father, it's been
00:24:44 ...and uh, I've done some
00:24:49 I've disrespected my father
00:24:51 I don't think I'm ever
00:24:54 ...something bigger this time,
00:24:58 Well, that's a serious sin, but it
00:25:03 With a guy.
00:25:07 - Pretty big sin, huh?
00:25:14 Why?
00:25:16 Go back to your side.
00:25:17 I don't want to go
00:25:18 Please Father.
00:25:25 It's a sin because it
00:25:27 ...and the Bible is
00:25:29 But how do you know every bit
00:25:31 I know it on faith.
00:25:33 A faith which comes from
00:25:36 Both of which I suggest
00:25:38 I don't know, Father.
00:25:39 I'm not convinced I've
00:25:41 If you didn't do
00:25:42 ...then why do you suppose you
00:25:45 What's guilt prove?
00:25:46 I mean, I feel guilty when
00:25:48 Even if it weren't wrong,
00:25:50 ...live a life style which means
00:25:53 ...never have children?
00:25:54 No, I want children.
00:25:55 Then you haven't
00:25:57 But maybe I don't
00:25:58 Don't be so sure.
00:26:00 Often with a little
00:26:02 ...those in your situation find
00:26:05 - Really?
00:26:07 I've been counseling
00:26:08 The first man I talked to was
00:26:11 Today he lives in Ohio with
00:26:14 ...and their nine children.
00:26:15 - N ine?
00:26:17 He called them his own
00:26:19 Even got them uniforms.
00:26:21 You should see them,
00:26:40 Hello, Dr. Mitchener?
00:26:44 I just wanted you to know I
00:26:48 I've found another path.
00:26:50 But I wish you luck on
00:27:01 - I love you, Dad.
00:27:33 Nicky.
00:27:36 Nicky.
00:27:37 - What?
00:27:39 - Do what?
00:27:41 ...to act on it, anyway.
00:27:42 It's even wrong to have some
00:27:44 It's wrong to even think?
00:27:46 Yes.
00:27:48 It's the tenth commandment:
00:27:51 ...thy neighbor's wife,"
00:27:53 - What have you been reading?
00:27:55 What the hell are you
00:27:57 I haven't read that
00:27:58 Well, you should.
00:27:59 It's mostly about straight
00:28:01 ...you're in some deep shit too.
00:28:02 - Well, we're all sinners, right?
00:28:05 So then I'll keep on sinning
00:28:08 ...and then I'll repent
00:28:11 Isn't that how it works?
00:28:12 But what if you don't
00:28:13 What if you die
00:28:15 Look, Dor, if I'm so
00:28:17 ...then what are you worried
00:28:18 Cause I decided that
00:28:20 Oh, well that's over.
00:28:22 Don't say that's over, don't
00:28:23 ...it's what I want more than
00:28:25 - All right, all right.
00:28:26 Shhh.
00:28:27 And not just one or two of
00:28:28 ...my own little baseball team.
00:28:30 - Base... You hate baseball.
00:28:33 So I need your help.
00:28:35 I want you to teach me
00:28:38 You want me to teach you?
00:28:40 Yeah, I want to turn this
00:28:42 ...thinking that if someone
00:28:44 ...how you think sexually, you know,
00:28:47 - You want to turn this around?
00:28:49 - Seriously?
00:28:51 Cause I have had some
00:28:52 You have?
00:28:53 Absolutely, I mean I didn't
00:28:55 ...but if you're coming to me
00:28:57 I think I can get this
00:28:59 I knew it.
00:29:01 - Now?
00:29:03 We're both up, start helping
00:29:05 Oh, thank you, thank
00:29:08 Oh my God, wouldn't it be
00:29:10 ...the answer to the
00:29:12 First things first,
00:29:15 - No?
00:29:17 Oh.
00:29:18 Never heard one of my
00:29:20 - Oh, OK.
00:29:22 U h, say...
00:29:24 ...awesome.
00:29:25 OK.
00:29:27 It's awesome.
00:29:32 - OK.
00:29:34 Good.
00:29:35 I know, it feels good,
00:29:36 - It's fucking awesome.
00:29:38 Yeah.
00:29:39 All right, let's go
00:29:40 What are we going to
00:29:41 We're gonna fight.
00:29:49 - Did you say fight?
00:29:51 - Actually fight.
00:29:54 You're going to teach
00:29:56 No, not teach, just fight.
00:29:58 If you happen to pick up
00:29:59 ...good for you.
00:30:01 I don't understand.
00:30:02 See you want me to help you,
00:30:05 We mix it up, mano y mano.
00:30:08 OK, but I think
00:30:11 See that's just it.
00:30:14 - You've always been a pussy.
00:30:23 This is for real?
00:30:24 Can't be straight if
00:30:28 I'm not a chicken shit.
00:30:42 Stand up.
00:30:44 Ok.
00:30:47 The other one.
00:30:49 There you go.
00:30:50 OK.
00:30:51 OK, tough guy, you
00:30:54 Please.
00:30:55 - You want to see what I've got?
00:30:57 - You might be surprised.
00:31:21 Come on, Dorian,
00:31:23 I didn't see it coming.
00:31:25 OK, OK, relax, relax,
00:31:30 ...just breathe.
00:31:33 Ah-ha!
00:31:34 Faked you out, jock boy!
00:31:39 Oh, what's the matter Rambo?
00:31:42 You sneaky little...
00:31:43 Sneaky?
00:31:44 I don't think sneaky's
00:31:47 Try ballsy.
00:31:49 Aaaaaah!
00:31:53 Oooh, shit!
00:31:55 Dor?
00:32:00 Look, I am trying to
00:32:02 - So please don't embarrass me.
00:32:06 Look at what I'm wearing.
00:32:07 Will you stop milking that?
00:32:09 Milk?
00:32:11 - And there was blood!
00:32:14 Just forget about it and concentrate
00:32:21 ## Kiss me here, 'cause I've
00:32:26 ## It's your turn to hurt so kiss me
00:32:35 What's your name?
00:32:36 Tiffany.
00:32:38 ##... And it's clear
00:32:42 ## Kiss me here, go
00:32:47 Oh... Oh my... Easy,
00:32:55 - You like her?
00:32:57 No, her.
00:33:00 Actually, I think
00:33:03 Excellent.
00:33:05 Where have you been?
00:33:07 Been talking to that
00:33:08 - She's agreed to help us out.
00:33:10 It means she's gonna
00:33:12 Tonight.
00:33:14 - You're full of it.
00:33:16 - I don't believe you.
00:33:17 She gets off work at two,
00:33:21 ...by 2:35, this
00:33:24 - This is for real?
00:33:25 Oh, my God.
00:33:27 Oh, my God.
00:33:31 Well, to tell you the truth I
00:33:34 Feel great about it,
00:33:35 And do us both a favor,
00:33:38 - I won't, but I'm just so...
00:33:40 This is what's gonna
00:33:41 - I hope so but...
00:33:43 - OK.
00:33:44 Yeah, OK!
00:33:46 Wow.
00:33:48 Wow.
00:33:51 So I guess she kind
00:33:52 I mean enough to
00:33:54 Yeah, for a hundred
00:33:56 What?
00:33:58 Hey relax, this
00:34:00 Oh my God, N icky.
00:34:02 It's not the money,
00:34:04 What principles have you got?
00:34:05 You're between
00:34:07 You set me up with a hooker.
00:34:09 She's not a hooker, she's a dancer
00:34:12 - So she's a part-time hooker.
00:34:16 - You said so yourself.
00:34:19 So my first time will
00:34:23 ...sensuous dancer
00:34:25 Well, uh... Just so you know,
00:34:30 These dancers pick sexy
00:34:33 - What's her real name?
00:34:40 Come on in.
00:34:52 - You're all sweaty.
00:34:55 It's all right.
00:34:57 U h, I have deodorant on,
00:35:00 It's OK.
00:35:02 I, I didn't want to
00:35:06 - Should I throw it out?
00:35:15 Can I get you something
00:35:17 U h, does it cost extra?
00:35:20 - No.
00:35:36 - Getting ready?
00:35:37 It's OK.
00:35:46 You know, I don't
00:35:50 No, no.
00:35:51 What I mean is, I'm usually
00:35:55 ...so, um, if you're not attracted
00:36:00 That's not it, it...
00:36:03 What?
00:36:04 It's just, I can't believe
00:36:08 ...someone who has to
00:36:11 I mean, I'm a romantic.
00:36:14 How long have you
00:36:15 About a year.
00:36:16 Why do you need
00:36:18 You got a crack
00:36:19 No, no nothing like that.
00:36:21 Actually, I'm saving to
00:36:24 Really? What are you going
00:36:26 - Try and be a singer.
00:36:28 And dance. I do some
00:36:32 Wow, you're multi-talented.
00:36:36 I'm sure you have one.
00:36:37 Not unless you
00:36:40 Got a gift for that.
00:36:46 - Who do you do?
00:36:47 You said you
00:36:49 Oh... A lot of people.
00:36:53 Well do one,
00:36:56 - No, I can't.
00:36:58 Cause I'm embarrassed.
00:37:00 You're embarrassed
00:37:03 Did you forget what
00:37:07 OK.
00:37:13 ## I don't know why but
00:37:19 ## I long to try something
00:37:24 ## Never had no kissin'.
00:37:31 ## Lover man, Lover man, ##
00:37:39 ## Where can you be? ##
00:37:46 Billie Holiday.
00:37:48 - Very good.
00:37:51 - That was wonderful.
00:37:54 - Do you know any country?
00:37:56 Yeah, I love country.
00:37:58 Please don't think
00:37:59 ## Worry. Why do I
00:38:08 ## Wondrin', what in
00:38:16 ## I'm crazy for tryin'
00:38:22 ## And I'm crazy for lovin' you. ##
00:38:34 No, no, no.
00:38:38 U h.
00:38:40 It's just, it's never
00:38:43 What?
00:38:46 I just want to feel good,
00:38:52 I'm sick of being scared.
00:38:54 I'm scared a lot of
00:38:57 - You are?
00:38:59 You wanna know
00:39:00 What?
00:39:01 I pretend... Like I'm in one of
00:39:07 Where everyone's fine,
00:39:12 And I pretend
00:39:14 I sing, I dance...
00:39:16 - You delude yourself.
00:39:19 Hey, you want to dance
00:39:22 No, no, no.
00:39:23 I swear it always works.
00:39:25 U h, I can't dance, I know it
00:39:30 You can dance,
00:39:32 - Come on, I'll teach you.
00:39:34 No, it's that's simple.
00:39:36 Look, I don't know
00:39:39 ...but you may have missed
00:39:41 You want to feel good,
00:39:44 Now get up.
00:39:46 Well, feeling good for
00:39:49 ...and learning a dance,
00:39:51 But Tiffany was convinced
00:39:54 ...the universe
00:39:56 And work we did.
00:40:00 Before the night was done,
00:40:32 I left Tiffany's that night
00:40:35 ...and that it was
00:40:38 This is bad.
00:40:41 This is really bad.
00:40:45 You're actually going to do this.
00:40:50 So tell me, Dor...
00:40:54 Where are you suddenly finding
00:40:56 I mean, to this day you
00:40:58 ...tell them about that golf club
00:41:00 I know.
00:41:01 - I may throw that in.
00:41:03 Maybe, but afterwards,
00:41:05 OK, he doesn't care
00:41:07 He only cares who he is
00:41:09 ...he's the father
00:41:10 And that's going to freak him out!
00:41:14 Well, I'm not going
00:41:16 You know, some families
00:41:21 ...from this sort of thing.
00:41:22 Oh yeah, we're a really
00:41:24 You tell your news,
00:41:26 ...and Mom will be up until
00:41:28 ...dusting knick-knacks and humming
00:41:31 Yeah, we're really going
00:41:36 Don't you tell him I knew.
00:41:37 - I won't.
00:41:39 - I didn't know a thing about it.
00:41:48 - I'm going to Walsh's.
00:41:50 Nothing.
00:41:52 Wherever you left them.
00:42:19 You're not wearing a
00:42:22 No, it's fuchsia.
00:42:25 Got a minute, dad?
00:42:34 Stupid, stupid,
00:42:37 Idiot!
00:42:50 Son, you don't even know
00:42:54 I don't know what
00:42:56 - I doubt it.
00:42:58 - What's it mean?
00:43:01 Not you, maybe,
00:43:02 You hear the
00:43:05 See that's the crux
00:43:07 You're so angry at me you'd do
00:43:11 Of course I'm angry at you,
00:43:13 ...anything but contempt for me.
00:43:14 Think this is gonna help?
00:43:16 - This isn't about you.
00:43:18 Do you think I made this up?
00:43:20 No, I think you probably
00:43:21 ...into half believing it too.
00:43:23 I more than half
00:43:25 I know it.
00:43:26 You don't know horse
00:43:29 You're so fogged up
00:43:31 ...you don't know horse shit.
00:43:33 This is some fantasy you've
00:43:37 Well I've got news for you.
00:43:39 There's a world of difference
00:43:42 ...and being perverted.
00:43:46 Back to the drawing board.
00:43:48 Fantasy?
00:43:49 Before graduation I slept
00:43:58 Then congratulations...
00:44:02 ...you have shocked me.
00:44:04 I didn't tell
00:44:05 No, no.
00:44:08 Don't open your mouth until
00:44:11 Is that clear?
00:44:14 - Is that clear?
00:44:18 Good.
00:44:25 Now what I want to know is,
00:44:28 No one.
00:44:31 - None of your friends?
00:44:34 - Your mother?
00:44:39 - Your brother?
00:44:41 Yes.
00:44:43 I know about it,
00:44:48 ...everything.
00:44:50 You knew about this,
00:44:52 Well I would have, Dad,
00:44:54 ...going to take it so well.
00:44:55 - This is funny.
00:44:56 It's also not worth having
00:44:58 Dad, I'm still the same
00:45:01 Which was never so hot.
00:45:02 - Come on, Dad.
00:45:07 You should never
00:45:09 ...he's at a very
00:45:10 Oh, Jesus, Dad.
00:45:12 This does not affect
00:45:14 - I certainly hope not.
00:45:16 Oh, so that's
00:45:17 You don't care if you have a
00:45:19 Don't tell me
00:45:21 Dad, will you
00:45:23 - It's your problem.
00:45:27 What isn't?
00:45:29 Being gay.
00:45:31 It isn't.
00:45:32 It's just, you know,
00:45:38 I never told him that, Dad.
00:45:44 - Get out.
00:45:46 - You don't live here any more.
00:45:49 - What the hell is going on?
00:45:51 - What's going on?
00:45:53 He's out of here,
00:45:54 Just a second Dad.
00:45:56 Get your hands off me!
00:45:59 What, are you
00:46:11 Is this really how
00:46:13 Well, I would have
00:46:17 He's gonna cool off a
00:46:19 I'm not gonna be
00:46:21 I just called the cab.
00:46:23 I'm going to Aunt Beth's in
00:46:24 I'm going down to school early.
00:46:26 And what if you're not
00:46:27 How could I not be
00:46:29 New York's the greatest
00:46:31 You always say that...
00:46:32 ...how do you know what the
00:46:33 The only other city
00:46:35 - What about mom?
00:46:38 I don't want some sort
00:46:40 Do you want this, it's
00:46:43 Man, she's gonna
00:46:44 She'll be rolling pennies,
00:46:47 That's not fair.
00:46:49 You, you know
00:46:52 Well why don't you,
00:46:55 quarterback king with
00:46:57 ...tell me about fair.
00:47:01 And good luck here alone.
00:47:36 October 21 st.
00:47:37 Dear Nicky, was I ever
00:47:41 It's wonderful.
00:47:42 What did I always talk about?
00:47:44 Culture, museums, theater...
00:47:47 God, I've found
00:47:49 And, others like me.
00:47:51 - You know what I don't get?
00:47:53 OK. Why the pope rides around
00:47:56 I just don't get that.
00:47:58 I mean, what is he
00:48:01 That's Ellie.
00:48:03 She's opinionated,
00:48:05 Everything Dad looks
00:48:08 The guy's Andrew.
00:48:09 Also gay, with
00:48:11 Dorian do you want
00:48:13 No thanks.
00:48:14 I'm not interested,
00:48:16 - You sure, split an iced tea?
00:48:18 Newspaper or a candy bar?
00:48:19 No thanks,
00:48:25 You sure?
00:48:26 Andrew's odd,
00:48:28 ...just as we all
00:48:30 ...which I can now say
00:48:32 ...is the greatest city in the world.
00:48:34 Dor.
00:48:38 December 3.
00:48:40 This is, without a doubt, the
00:48:45 You see, you gotta
00:48:47 ...then you begin to see
00:48:50 ...the filth, the loneliness...
00:48:53 Anyway, can't wait
00:48:56 Family warmth and all that.
00:48:58 Dor.
00:49:02 Coats go right in the hall.
00:49:04 That's fine, just
00:49:05 Has he grown?
00:49:07 Look at this!
00:49:14 U h, ladies and gentleman,
00:49:18 I, I, I just have a
00:49:22 Hello... Hey! Got a little
00:49:26 As most of you are aware, N icky
00:49:31 ...hoping that one of them might
00:49:35 At what level, we
00:49:38 ...and whether they would kick
00:49:41 ...we could only dream.
00:49:43 We received a little
00:49:50 The thrust of which says that
00:49:57 ...will be playing
00:50:02 ...on a full scholarship at
00:50:08 All right!
00:50:09 Come on up here, son!
00:50:11 No get up here, come
00:50:13 Congratulations.
00:50:14 Hey, how about this kid!
00:50:18 Thank you.
00:50:21 What?
00:50:23 Oh, OK, OK.
00:50:25 And, ladies and gentleman,
00:50:28 Dorian has just completed his first
00:50:34 ...uh, excuse me Dorian...
00:50:37 ...what you're majoring in?
00:50:40 U ndecided.
00:50:41 Right.
00:50:43 Where he is majoring
00:50:51 I dive down and I set that bow
00:50:54 ...and I set the stern
00:50:58 ...and I see it's a turtle.
00:51:00 - Hey.
00:51:02 Thanks.
00:51:04 - Why didn't you tell me?
00:51:08 Plus I didn't know he
00:51:09 ...announcement stunt.
00:51:11 Well, I'm happy for you.
00:51:13 Bull, you wish I'd
00:51:15 Damn you, reading
00:51:17 - Hey mom.
00:51:19 Dorian, I read that story you
00:51:22 I loved it.
00:51:24 "A Man Walking On The Beach. "
00:51:27 I have two talented sons.
00:51:29 Too bad my talent
00:51:34 Dorian, before I forget, did
00:51:37 ...who lives in New York.
00:51:38 No you didn't.
00:51:39 Well I do.
00:51:41 And besides that, she is
00:51:45 ...funniest girl you
00:51:47 What do you think?
00:51:48 Honestly, she doesn't
00:51:58 Whatever you want.
00:52:00 I'm serious.
00:52:04 Hey, Dor.
00:52:06 Hey.
00:52:17 Are we still mad
00:52:19 What's that?
00:52:20 I said; are we still
00:52:24 I'm not mad.
00:52:25 You haven't asked
00:52:27 Yeah, Mom filled me in.
00:52:31 - It's not a phase.
00:52:33 It's not... A phase.
00:52:39 Do you think you're ever
00:52:41 Do I think I'm ever gonna be
00:52:45 Am.
00:52:46 Now son, we both know
00:52:53 No, never will be.
00:52:56 The sexual specifics
00:53:01 ...are just too unnatural for
00:53:06 God, you know what I hate?
00:53:07 What's that?
00:53:09 That I care what you think.
00:53:17 Well son...
00:53:19 ...part of being a
00:53:22 ...is making your own decisions and
00:53:26 You are a man now.
00:53:29 I mean, you're old
00:53:32 ...and you're old enough
00:53:37 Is that what you're
00:53:39 Because I can relate to that,
00:53:44 I'm gonna be so careful.
00:53:46 Oh yeah, 'careful',
00:53:48 ...are truck-full of young men
00:53:50 Jesus, Dorian...
00:53:53 Do you want this disease?
00:53:55 That's it, I chose this
00:53:58 I felt left out of a plague.
00:53:59 Christ, I gotta wonder.
00:54:01 ...when being normal
00:54:04 ...you think you'd give it
00:54:07 What's normal Dad?
00:54:09 You with your pint
00:54:12 That stack of big-boobed
00:54:14 ...you got hid in the safe
00:54:16 ...is just for
00:54:18 That normal?
00:54:24 Yeah, that's in the ballpark.
00:54:46 I returned to New York
00:54:48 ...that I was ready to try anything.
00:54:50 Even getting myself picked
00:54:53 And it worked,
00:54:56 ...whose name I
00:54:58 ...let's just call him 'psycho'.
00:55:10 Nope.
00:55:13 I'm really sorry, this just
00:55:18 I just thought I could drink
00:55:21 ...so I'm just gonna
00:55:26 Hut.
00:55:28 18, 24, 36... Hut.
00:55:32 Hut. Hut.
00:55:34 18, 18.
00:55:37 Uuhh!
00:55:52 Yeah.
00:56:12 I was so stupid.
00:56:14 I still didn't realize how
00:56:17 I still thought I was just
00:56:20 When actually I had stumbled
00:56:25 It was unreal.
00:56:27 I couldn't breathe... And
00:56:32 I started to lose it, and
00:56:38 Until my mind coughed
00:56:56 Shit!
00:56:57 You broke my nose!
00:56:59 Ah!
00:57:00 You're dead!
00:57:01 So dead!
00:57:12 I ended up in four days in St.
00:57:16 It was so ironic.
00:57:18 Nicky had been playing
00:57:20 ...and had never
00:57:22 I was going for a liberal arts
00:57:26 So after this
00:57:28 I declared my preference
00:57:32 Over the next few years I
00:57:35 VP of my class and a bit
00:57:38 Meanwhile, Nicky
00:57:40 ...and through his letters I got
00:57:43 ...weren't going as easily
00:57:46 It was the first time that
00:57:48 ...backs on my brother
00:57:52 I've been to the zoo.
00:57:55 - I'm sorry?
00:57:59 Zoo story, Edward Alby.
00:58:02 Now I know I'm not
00:58:04 What are you,
00:58:06 No, a law student.
00:58:08 Undergrad.
00:58:10 Is he the genius
00:58:11 - You haven't read him?
00:58:13 Well, maybe I'm
00:58:17 The fairy tale
00:58:20 Lonely prince Dorian
00:58:24 ...and the love prince Dorian felt
00:58:27 ...all Dorian's spells
00:58:30 ...and gave him the strength of
00:58:44 Ben, you gotta come with us
00:58:47 - We're there.
00:58:48 - Absolutely.
00:58:50 Andrew?
00:58:50 Let's see, music and beer
00:58:53 ...and have imaginary fights
00:58:55 Let me see...
00:58:56 Oh no, wait we can't Friday.
00:58:58 - Why not?
00:59:00 My parents are coming to town
00:59:01 ...to take us to dinner.
00:59:02 What?
00:59:04 Well, I told them I was bringing
00:59:07 Just the thought of meeting
00:59:09 ...into my newest afflictionl...
00:59:11 ...hyperventilation.
00:59:13 I'd never met anyone's
00:59:15 Literally, the only
00:59:17 ...and that didn't go very well.
00:59:19 I was terrified
00:59:21 Suspect what?
00:59:22 That we're more
00:59:24 Doesn't your brother
00:59:26 ...to your parents all the time?
00:59:28 - Yeah.
00:59:29 You think?
00:59:30 Sure, they won't
00:59:31 U nless, of course, you do
00:59:35 I'm kidding.
00:59:49 So Dorian, how's your steak?
00:59:53 It's awesome.
00:59:55 It's awesome.
01:00:02 So how long have
01:00:08 - Relax. They already know.
01:00:10 - We know!
01:00:13 They're super-liberal,
01:00:15 - We don't care!
01:00:17 Dorian's parents are creepy
01:00:19 This is kind of
01:00:26 I couldn't believe my life.
01:00:28 I had met my soul mate.
01:00:30 And his parents, though odd,
01:00:34 And then, just as
01:00:38 Never gave a good reason,
01:00:41 We'd been together two months.
01:00:43 I can't get tired of a
01:00:46 And I obsessed.
01:00:50 - This has to stop.
01:00:53 I just need to ask
01:00:56 Why did you break up with me?
01:00:58 Because I didn't want
01:01:00 Could you be more specific,
01:01:03 I don't know Dorian, it
01:01:06 I don't know, I'm not
01:01:09 I don't analyze
01:01:12 ...and I don't want to hurt you,
01:01:18 I'm never gonna change
01:01:19 It's done, we're done.
01:01:23 Did you need more time
01:01:25 Jesus.
01:01:26 Just know that I am here
01:01:30 ...or not.
01:01:32 Your call, no pressure.
01:01:36 It was really over,
01:01:40 I started walking the
01:01:44 ...the depression I'd always
01:01:47 ...til all I saw in this
01:01:50 In fact, I became
01:01:54 I clung to the hope Ben's
01:01:57 ...would drive him back
01:01:59 But even that was shattered
01:02:03 Ben is not alone he's
01:02:06 What?
01:02:07 I just wanted to crawl into
01:02:11 But the gods were not
01:02:13 - Ben your brother's a piss.
01:02:16 Oh, man, he's funny as hell.
01:02:20 I didn't want him sitting
01:02:22 Wait.
01:02:23 Friday, the 21 st.
01:02:25 No, no, no.
01:02:31 I can't do this.
01:02:34 Just drink some coffee.
01:02:45 Hey Dor!
01:02:48 Man, I can't believe how
01:02:51 They're so freakin tall.
01:02:54 You know, I don't feel much
01:02:57 What do you want
01:02:58 - Go out.
01:02:59 One of my bars, OK?
01:03:02 - You mean like, to a gay bar?
01:03:04 - No.
01:03:05 I'm not going to
01:03:07 Come on, you said you
01:03:09 Not your gay life, I meant like
01:03:12 Why do you do that?
01:03:13 Why do you call
01:03:15 This is my life and this is
01:03:18 I go to a gay bar.
01:03:19 And this is my favorite
01:03:22 ...great people.
01:03:22 I don't care if it's
01:03:25 I didn't drive six hours to
01:03:26 Oh Jesus. Please,
01:03:30 ...and I really need to
01:03:32 - And Ellie's gonna be there.
01:03:34 Yeah, my friend Ellie
01:03:37 So there are
01:03:40 Lesbian girls, N ick.
01:03:41 - Forget it then.
01:03:48 Hey N ick.
01:03:50 You know what they
01:03:53 - That football throwing game.
01:03:56 The one where you
01:03:58 ...at the moving targets for points.
01:04:00 Quarterback Red
01:04:02 - That's it.
01:04:04 - Are you any good at it?
01:04:06 Because some of these
01:04:08 You mean, some
01:04:10 - They play for money.
01:04:12 But really,
01:04:15 Oh I'm sure.
01:04:18 Get ready.
01:04:19 ## And my, your so pretty for
01:04:24 ## and I am such a pretty
01:04:28 ## do I make you uncomfortable? ##
01:04:32 ## Do I make you uncomfortable? ##
01:04:36 ## Do I make you I make
01:04:40 ## Well, I'm tryin. ##
01:04:43 Thanks.
01:04:50 What's the matter N ick?
01:04:53 - Shut up.
01:04:54 Hey Ellie's here.
01:04:57 Hey, N ick.
01:04:59 I've heard a lot
01:05:01 Oh, what?
01:05:03 Then here, go get us drinks.
01:05:04 Elle takes anything
01:05:06 Me, kill the club soda,
01:05:11 - He's adorable.
01:05:12 - So how you doing after today?
01:05:16 Listen, I gotta talk
01:05:18 Yeah, OK, but listen I want
01:05:20 ...for me tonight, OK?
01:05:22 I want you to help me to
01:05:23 ...how popular I am.
01:05:25 - Popular?
01:05:26 - Yeah, I'm popular.
01:05:28 And he's never seen
01:05:29 ...so I want you to keep
01:05:31 ...for anybody we know, call
01:05:33 ...and help me show N icky that
01:05:35 I will do that but I've
01:05:37 ...about something else first.
01:05:38 Something I was trying to
01:05:39 Is this about your
01:05:41 No.
01:05:44 - Here you go Ellie.
01:05:46 What do you say, one more
01:05:48 What?
01:05:49 And you've been playing that
01:05:52 Come on, Dor, I came
01:05:54 We've got a whole
01:05:56 Tonight I just wanted
01:05:58 It's no fun for me
01:06:00 Oh give it a chance,
01:06:01 Think it was all fun for me
01:06:03 ...sitting through three
01:06:05 It wasn't all bad, you got to
01:06:09 Look, I know you feel awkward
01:06:14 You know.
01:06:15 You're not used to that,
01:06:17 No, I'm not.
01:06:18 But I know people here
01:06:20 ...and if your with me then
01:06:22 Nicholas Legatis.
01:06:23 Oh man, this is
01:06:25 The great Nick Legatis.
01:06:27 Hey, Buffer Jones.
01:06:29 Man, I haven't seen you
01:06:32 Hey, this is my brother,
01:06:35 H i, how you doing?
01:06:36 Buffer Jones,
01:06:38 Rugger, we got another
01:06:40 - Penn State.
01:06:42 - Hey, come and have a beer with us.
01:06:48 Can you believe this, I can't
01:06:50 ...than him in my own
01:06:52 It's just as well,
01:06:55 What, my Ben?
01:06:58 Yeah, well, his new partner
01:07:00 ...and they both want
01:07:01 What, but... what?
01:07:02 Listen, I was supposed to get
01:07:04 ...but I couldn't
01:07:05 - You were so hurt.
01:07:07 - On what's been going on.
01:07:09 Hello, Dorian.
01:07:14 Dorian.
01:07:21 No.
01:07:23 No way.
01:07:24 You didn't tell him, did you?
01:07:25 Almost, listen honey,
01:07:30 I was trying to tell you earlier.
01:07:31 You don't have to do this but
01:07:34 ...with me and Ben and Andrew,
01:07:37 No, no that's great,
01:07:40 - Are you sure?
01:07:42 Really, Elle, it's cool.
01:07:51 First of all,
01:07:52 No, first of all...
01:07:54 ...whatever this is,
01:07:56 Drew.
01:07:57 We just weren't right
01:08:02 And hey, I honestly
01:08:04 Seriously.
01:08:05 I mean I'd bore you after
01:08:07 I'm just not... intellectually
01:08:11 All I want out of life is to work
01:08:14 And you want to, you know...
01:08:18 And Andrew's more like me.
01:08:20 You don't want to
01:08:21 I really don't.
01:08:22 So you're saying is that
01:08:24 No, with someone else.
01:08:26 Who else?
01:08:27 It took me 22
01:08:28 I think what Ben's
01:08:29 - Andrew, please, I'm upset.
01:08:32 You're upset, what do you
01:08:35 You won.
01:08:37 An intellectually uncurious
01:08:40 You know, maybe right there is one
01:08:42 ...you always have a dig.
01:08:43 - Andrew.
01:08:46 Is that the truth?
01:08:47 Well people do
01:08:49 They don't bother me.
01:08:50 You know, I'm low key,
01:08:53 You have to admit,
01:08:54 No, no, no, no.
01:08:55 I don't have to admit a damn
01:08:59 Did you two really
01:09:01 "Sorry you're alone
01:09:03 ...on changing your personality
01:09:05 Actually the tips
01:09:07 I just wanted to tell
01:09:14 I think we're done here.
01:09:15 Ben, please don't go.
01:09:19 Ahhh!
01:09:22 You guys, stop it.
01:09:23 Sorry, sorry, sorry.
01:09:25 Sorry, sorry, sorry.
01:09:27 - Sorry, sorry, sorry.
01:09:28 - I'm fine.
01:09:30 Nothing, it's over.
01:09:38 ## Circle, circle, here I go
01:09:50 ## So will you see me fallin' down
01:10:05 - What are you so quiet about?
01:10:10 Hey, I thought you were going
01:10:12 It is a nice place.
01:10:14 No, it's just that usually nice
01:10:19 Did you have a good
01:10:20 Yeah I sure did, and
01:10:24 Seeing Buff was a piss.
01:10:26 Yeah.
01:10:26 Hey I've got a
01:10:28 Let me ask you this.
01:10:30 Did you have any idea that this Buff
01:10:35 No, not at all I mean there
01:10:39 I'll tell you that.
01:10:40 And you didn't tell
01:10:42 No, never came up.
01:10:43 - Hmm.
01:10:45 Nothing its just, why
01:10:47 Just didn't.
01:10:49 I know, but why didn't you
01:10:52 Oh, well, I guess I kinda just
01:10:57 - Huh that's curious.
01:11:00 I don't know, I just find it
01:11:02 ...go a whole night without
01:11:04 ...you know, finding some way
01:11:08 I don't think in terms of
01:11:10 Well, when you're not gay in
01:11:13 ...this Buffer guy was
01:11:16 - He was not.
01:11:19 Bull shit.
01:11:20 What do you think that laughing
01:11:22 ...all the hands
01:11:25 That's just how football
01:11:27 Well, that's another
01:11:28 ...but I'm not
01:11:29 Besides, even if he
01:11:32 ...if the guy was flirting with
01:11:34 ...then who gives a shit?
01:11:35 OK, don't get so defensive.
01:11:40 What's the matter N icky, did
01:11:46 What did you just ask me?
01:11:48 If you felt something and
01:11:51 ...drop girls names and come off.
01:11:54 I had a few beers
01:11:56 What the hell are
01:11:58 I'm just asking.
01:11:59 Really, you really think
01:12:03 Apparently I don't.
01:12:07 What, you trying to
01:12:10 Is that why me
01:12:13 Because you're the
01:12:20 You're getting really warped,
01:12:27 He was insulted,
01:12:30 I wanted to insult him,
01:12:33 ...in his perfect life.
01:12:35 But he's impervious to
01:12:38 He returned an hour later,
01:12:42 I awoke to a sound I hadn't
01:12:46 ...the sound of
01:12:51 N icky?
01:12:55 N icky, what is it?
01:13:03 N icky, what's wrong.
01:13:10 Oh my God, did
01:13:12 What?
01:13:13 I was only half
01:13:15 I did not like
01:13:17 Jesus Christ, there's a lot
01:13:19 ...than being gay.
01:13:20 I'm not crying about...
01:13:21 It's something
01:13:23 All right, fine, what is it?
01:13:26 - It's none of your business.
01:13:28 I mean, it's none
01:13:30 Why is it none of my...
01:13:31 - It just isn't.
01:13:33 Oh, yeah, we're brothers when
01:13:37 Look, I just had a
01:13:39 ...and it's backing up
01:13:41 My God, what's happened
01:13:43 ...things don't back up on you.
01:13:45 I don't want to
01:13:47 Don't tell me you don't
01:13:48 - Just leave it alone will you?
01:13:51 Christ, you're
01:13:52 Hey, N icky, I wake up and
01:13:55 ...than I've ever seen you in my life
01:13:57 I lost my scholarship.
01:14:01 What?
01:14:03 They took my scholarship.
01:14:07 Your football scholarship?
01:14:09 No, my Rhodes scholarship,
01:14:11 What happened?
01:14:14 They cut me.
01:14:16 Wednesday.
01:14:18 It's all over, Dor.
01:14:22 I didn't make it.
01:14:24 - I didn't have it.
01:14:28 What do you do now?
01:14:30 What every other schmuck
01:14:33 Did you tell Mom and Dad yet?
01:14:35 - Mm-hmm.
01:14:38 - Wednesday.
01:14:39 I told Mom first.
01:14:42 She said now you can
01:14:46 Then Dad grabs the phone and
01:14:50 And I tell him and he says
01:14:55 And he hands the
01:14:56 Oh, man, what a prick.
01:14:59 Well it was a huge
01:15:01 For him?
01:15:03 It meant a lot to him.
01:15:04 Then why didn't he
01:15:06 Oh, because he wasn't good
01:15:09 Can he vent?
01:15:09 No, God, he should be consoling
01:15:14 You know, something,
01:15:16 You know, Mom said he was up
01:15:19 ...sick as a dog.
01:15:20 I'm sure he was, because
01:15:22 ...all wrapped up in yours.
01:15:24 - Man, it's demented.
01:15:26 News flash, Dad is fucked up.
01:15:29 So are you, and I give
01:15:30 Oh, you give me breaks?
01:15:31 What?
01:15:33 - Hey guys.
01:15:35 No, no, no, it's just Dor, you
01:15:39 - It must be Ellie.
01:15:45 And that's exactly
01:15:47 We were just
01:15:49 His name was literally still
01:15:53 ...he'd a heart
01:15:57 And to be honest, I didn't
01:16:01 ...but poor Nicky, he knew.
01:16:14 ## In a perfect world, I would
01:16:24 ## You would have smiled. ##
01:16:28 ## You would have smiled. ##
01:16:36 ## In a perfect world, we would have
01:16:45 ## and said goodbye, ##
01:16:51 ## said good luck. ##
01:16:58 ## I want to scream,
01:17:09 ## In a perfect world, the ones
01:17:19 ## and make you soar, ##
01:17:24 ## make you sure,
01:17:50 They say a boy becomes a
01:17:53 For me it happened
01:17:56 I was getting fed up.
01:17:58 I'd already been through
01:18:00 ...listening to a million people
01:18:02 Ghandi's better brother.
01:18:04 And come the morning of the funeral
01:18:08 ...half hung over
01:18:10 ...not attending the days events,
01:18:14 What are you doing?
01:18:15 Just trying to get
01:18:18 Don't wait up.
01:18:26 Head on straight about what,
01:18:31 He could be a real son
01:18:34 Excuse me?
01:18:35 What, you didn't
01:18:37 I didn't think you'd say it.
01:18:39 Well, he was very
01:18:44 Like to talk about
01:18:46 - You want to talk, Mom?
01:18:47 - About something?
01:18:49 All right, what do you
01:18:52 About how much you
01:18:54 - Of who, Dad?
01:18:56 What is that, some kind
01:18:58 It's not a compliment at all.
01:19:00 I'm saying you're
01:19:03 Don't you see how
01:19:06 I do.
01:19:09 I don't want that.
01:19:11 I don't want you to be angry
01:19:14 I want you to be good.
01:19:19 Even though your father
01:19:20 ...and your mother didn't have
01:19:30 I know, baby... I should
01:19:53 Well, that's all
01:19:56 It was a lot actually.
01:19:58 It was a lot,
01:20:01 My father did leave
01:20:04 And you know why?
01:20:06 You know the one worst thing
01:20:10 He convinced me it matters
01:20:14 ...and truth is they never
01:20:17 So from then,
01:20:20 ...no matter what they thought.
01:20:21 Even when they
01:20:23 ...and should take my liberal views
01:20:26 ...and move to another planet,
01:20:30 ...cause it's not pink, it's fuchsia.