Drillbit Taylor
|
00:00:15 |
Please enjoy the music |
00:00:28 |
- Hello? |
00:00:30 |
- About what? |
00:00:32 |
It's our first day of high school. |
00:00:34 |
If we want to be popular, |
00:00:37 |
Calm your proactive ass down. |
00:00:39 |
Saying you want to be popular |
00:00:43 |
I'm gonna get a girlfriend. |
00:00:45 |
Anything's possible, Wade. |
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Just don't be needy. |
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You got to let it come to you. |
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From now on, |
00:00:56 |
Call me T-Dog. |
00:00:59 |
- T-Dog? |
00:01:01 |
- What does the "T" stand for? |
00:01:04 |
- But it sounds better than R-Dog. |
00:01:06 |
You know, like, if a hot girl |
00:01:09 |
"Hey, have you met T-Dog? |
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"Man, that T-Dog is crazy!" |
00:01:15 |
That sounds like a guy |
00:01:18 |
- Hey, do I need a nickname? |
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That was last year. |
00:01:25 |
All right, name one part of your body |
00:01:28 |
Name one part of your body |
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I'm not trying to offend you. |
00:01:32 |
I'm just saying you shot up too fast |
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Oh, yeah? Well, you're too fat |
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- You wanna go there? |
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It's just, I want things to go well, |
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- Sorry I said you're freakishly skinny. |
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You just are. |
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Hey, go to sleep! |
00:01:49 |
- What are you, crazy? |
00:01:50 |
- Is that your stepdad? |
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- Give me that phone! Give it! |
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You're in high school now. |
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Go to sleep. |
00:01:58 |
How about some |
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It's like a nerd paradise. |
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Time to make the donuts. |
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Hoo-rah! |
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Touchdown! |
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We won! We won the game! |
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- Get out of my room! |
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He's not my dad. He's your dad. |
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Fine, the guy who does your mom |
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- Just leave! |
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Morning, sunshine. First day of school. |
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- Mom! |
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Since when did you start |
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I'm in high school now, |
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I don't like elastic squeezing |
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Okay. |
00:03:10 |
Hey! What are you doing |
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Dawn? Rachel, that's right. |
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Put your hands up |
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I'm the best white rapper |
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A hair! |
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- Oh, my God! |
00:03:35 |
Thank you, ladies! |
00:03:42 |
What's up, winners? You stoked? |
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- Yeah. |
00:03:45 |
All right. Who's a winner? |
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- I am! |
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Morning! |
00:03:50 |
- Look at you, with your magic stick. |
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Magic is stupid. |
00:03:55 |
No, no, honey. |
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- Mom! |
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You forgot the sausages! |
00:04:00 |
- I'll get the sausages. |
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All right, I'll get the sausages. |
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Excuse me, listen, |
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My family and I, we just ran out of gas |
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and we're trying to get to the kids |
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And, I, like an idiot forgot my wallet. |
00:04:15 |
- Your legs work okay? |
00:04:18 |
You should walk somewhere |
00:04:20 |
- Harold... |
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That's what I have, a job. |
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We'll get to SeaWorld |
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We're on our way to church. |
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Thank you. Have a great day. |
00:04:31 |
- Can you help out a veteran? |
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- Get away from the car. |
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Get away! |
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- What's your name? |
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Listen, Drillbit, I wasn't born yesterday. |
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I don't want you using this on |
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- You got my word on it. |
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- I'm gonna write "not for pot" on there. |
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Yeah. "Not for pot." |
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You're gonna feel pretty silly if you try |
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Remember, put your best foot forward. |
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People decide what they think about you |
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So, let me smell your breath. |
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Minty. |
00:05:06 |
- You swipe on some deodorant? |
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- You dust the nuts? |
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I'll never get tired of that one, Dad. |
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You know, you should hit the weights |
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- I'll pass. |
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We'll beef you up. Look at these guys. |
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Give him a crab. |
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Worship the sun. |
00:05:27 |
- Yeah, look at these guys. |
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Not in my house! |
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- Have a great day. |
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I love you, too. |
00:05:41 |
- So what'd your dad say? |
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Wow, great parenting. |
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I don't know how |
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- Sorry. |
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- He's a piece of shit, anyway. |
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- Enchanté. |
00:06:01 |
You got room for two |
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I am in a rush now. But I hostess up |
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So if you get up there just, you know, |
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- Thanks, Jessica. |
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'Cause our chef, Louis, |
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So he'll set you up with |
00:06:20 |
- You're late today. |
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- You get a job. |
00:06:26 |
- How're you doing, Mrs. Lampanelli? |
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- You look beautiful today. |
00:06:33 |
- Go on, get out of here, you nut! |
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And don't spend it on food. Porn only! |
00:06:43 |
First day of high school. |
00:06:45 |
- It's kind of scary. |
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Sure, last year we were the oldest |
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but now we'll probably have to sit |
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We'll be all right. |
00:07:00 |
You have to have a proactive attitude |
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People decide what they think of you |
00:07:13 |
I think you're a dork. |
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Oh, Wade. |
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- Oh, no. |
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We can't start high school like this. |
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You got to be shitting me. Come on. |
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- Please, am I dreaming here? |
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We're never allowed |
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Whoever sees it first gets to buy it. |
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You guys should wear |
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See? We both look like dorks. |
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No! I'm the one who was |
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Wade, I run the mile in 21 minutes! |
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How fast do you think I can go? |
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- Go! Hurry! |
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Wade, bus! |
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- Perfect! |
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What a way to start high school, huh? |
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Let me guess. |
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- Losers! |
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We're dead. |
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First day of our high school careers. |
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All right, let's light this fuse |
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- Let's go, man. |
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Are you guys part of a bowling team? |
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Last one. |
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Hey, at least it'll be easy |
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Yeah. I'll just look |
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- Come on! |
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to get it to work. |
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Thank you. |
00:09:02 |
No, wait! Wait! |
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- What are you guys doing? Guys! |
00:09:06 |
- No, thanks. |
00:09:07 |
- Get out of the way! |
00:09:09 |
- Here we go. |
00:09:11 |
- That's for my books! |
00:09:13 |
- In there. |
00:09:14 |
- Get in there! |
00:09:16 |
- This isn't my locker! Please! |
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At least we know we're not |
00:09:21 |
- Please, please, please! |
00:09:22 |
It's survival of the fittest. |
00:09:24 |
I've got to say something. |
00:09:26 |
Say something? It's hilarious. |
00:09:29 |
- That's not funny. |
00:09:31 |
This is the dumbest thing |
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- Help! Please! |
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- I mean, you don't have to, but... |
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You need to keep your big mouth shut. |
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Yeah, that's what |
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- Hey! |
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Hey, check this out. |
00:10:01 |
Oh, my God. |
00:10:02 |
Yo, Ron, these bitches |
00:10:05 |
Let's make them |
00:10:06 |
Sounds good. Yeah. |
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The fat one here, the skinny one there, |
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There. |
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You better keep that shit on, |
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'cause if I see you trying to take it off, |
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And you know what happens |
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'Cause you're Siamese queers, bitches! |
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That's very cute. |
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You look like those Velcro monkeys |
00:10:40 |
How was school, Wade? |
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We made so many friends, |
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- Great! You got to be in it to win it. |
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Great. |
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Yeah! |
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- Yeah. |
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Oh, it was great. |
00:10:56 |
It was the shirt, right? |
00:11:01 |
Hey! What are you doing? |
00:11:04 |
This is city property. |
00:11:05 |
Nobody's supposed to be |
00:11:07 |
Your stuff's in the dumpster |
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That's where I eat! You don't put |
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- My taxes pay for your salary. |
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- You don't even have a job. |
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That I don't have good health care? |
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Where's the compassion? |
00:11:27 |
- Compassion? |
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You wanna know |
00:11:31 |
The homeless who are mentally ill, |
00:11:35 |
Buddy, you're just a jackass. |
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Oh, guy hits a little bit of bump |
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Maybe I should go smoke some crack |
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- Go back to the Village People! |
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Damn! |
00:11:48 |
All right, today is the first day |
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Yes, it is. |
00:12:01 |
There she is. |
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That's the girl who came up to me |
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- Well, make your move. |
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All right, thanks for signing up. |
00:12:27 |
How're you doing? |
00:12:30 |
Is this your first time signing up |
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- Yeah, it is. Okay, bye. |
00:12:39 |
What'd you sign up for? |
00:12:41 |
- Photography and Asian Heritage. |
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- I like your commitment. |
00:12:47 |
- I like it a lot. |
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- Hi. |
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Oh, God. |
00:12:57 |
Guys, why aren't you wearing them? |
00:13:00 |
- Why are you talking to us? |
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for helping me out yesterday and all. |
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You guys are definitely the type of |
00:13:07 |
- Yeah. |
00:13:10 |
- Hi. |
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T-Dog? Dude, |
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Hey, can you guys give me a nickname? |
00:13:17 |
We need to ditch this guy. |
00:13:19 |
Once you feed him, |
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Hey, no secrets, T-Dog. |
00:13:23 |
I'm off to U.S. History. |
00:13:24 |
- U.S. History. |
00:13:26 |
The Siamese queers had a baby. |
00:13:28 |
I guess that makes them triplets, |
00:13:31 |
Well, actually, |
00:13:34 |
You see, they'd be my parents, |
00:13:36 |
Don't get smart with me. |
00:13:37 |
I said you're triplets and I think that |
00:13:41 |
- and be triplets. |
00:13:43 |
You know what? Emmit, shut up. |
00:13:46 |
Look, you really have to |
00:13:49 |
Come on, give us a break. |
00:13:52 |
Hey, I like this kid. Yeah. |
00:13:55 |
Double Stuf's got an attitude. |
00:14:00 |
Yeah. We have to do this shit |
00:14:04 |
This school is boring. |
00:14:07 |
Watching you freak out amuses me. |
00:14:11 |
And, yeah, it's just the second day |
00:14:14 |
It's gonna keep coming |
00:14:25 |
Party time! |
00:14:26 |
- Stop peeing on me! |
00:14:35 |
He pissed himself. What a loser. |
00:14:47 |
Help. |
00:14:50 |
Help me! |
00:14:54 |
- Is that Mario Lopez, dude? |
00:15:01 |
Take his pants off! Pants off! |
00:15:20 |
- Up, down, up... |
00:15:31 |
No! Please, don't! No! Don't! |
00:15:40 |
Bernie? |
00:15:45 |
- Come on, give me one match, here. |
00:15:47 |
- All I need is one. |
00:15:48 |
- Will you just give up? |
00:15:51 |
God, I can't even get one card! |
00:15:55 |
State of California just robbed me, Don. |
00:16:01 |
You'd think... Where's my quarter? |
00:16:04 |
- You're always looking at me. |
00:16:06 |
- is that the castle or is that a rook? |
00:16:09 |
No, I didn't take your quarter, Drillbit. |
00:16:11 |
Not my fault you can't keep track |
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I don't know why you're spending all |
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You're unbelievable. |
00:16:19 |
You know, |
00:16:21 |
Rich people don't like us, |
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and the tourists are scared of us. |
00:16:26 |
- When they see Bernie, they're terrified. |
00:16:28 |
They're not scared of me, I'm sexy. |
00:16:31 |
- Sanitizer? |
00:16:33 |
Yeah. Thanks, man. |
00:16:35 |
I just get... I'm like a bird. |
00:16:40 |
I'd like to go to Canada. |
00:16:42 |
What was it last year? I think it was, |
00:16:44 |
- "I was gonna go to Iceland." |
00:16:46 |
- No, no. |
00:16:47 |
Yeah, but the thing about Canada, |
00:16:50 |
- That's right. |
00:16:52 |
- to take the land. |
00:16:53 |
Yeah. Lookit, man, |
00:16:56 |
They don't lock the doors, |
00:16:59 |
And what about |
00:17:01 |
Does that sound like |
00:17:04 |
Yeah, that's not too bad. |
00:17:06 |
Okay, now, man, check this out. |
00:17:07 |
One-way flight to Canada, $287. |
00:17:10 |
You got to throw in 50 bucks for bribing, |
00:17:13 |
- the Federales, the... |
00:17:15 |
Yeah, yeah, yeah, the Mounties. |
00:17:17 |
Another... |
00:17:20 |
So we're talking $387 and it's a new |
00:17:25 |
I dig it, man. Follow the dream. |
00:17:28 |
How you gonna come up |
00:17:30 |
Get a job. |
00:17:31 |
I was an Army Ranger. |
00:17:34 |
Watch this kid play Hendrix. |
00:17:37 |
Oh, yeah, there he goes. |
00:17:38 |
Yeah, I like how he looks |
00:17:43 |
Yeah! I'm gonna give him a buck. |
00:17:45 |
- I'll give him a couple bucks. |
00:17:48 |
Give me a buck! |
00:18:06 |
Why is he in my house? |
00:18:07 |
Are we trying to attract |
00:18:11 |
I'm here because |
00:18:13 |
Because I'm your friend now. |
00:18:16 |
This fantasy land you live in, |
00:18:19 |
Stop picking on him, all right? |
00:18:22 |
I don't want him to be our guy. |
00:18:24 |
Well, the good news is, I think I found |
00:18:28 |
- Kill Emmit? |
00:18:30 |
This might sound stupid, |
00:18:33 |
and there's a bunch of sites where |
00:18:37 |
- What do you mean by bodyguard? |
00:18:41 |
A bodyguard? Wade, |
00:18:45 |
We should just be men |
00:18:47 |
Are you serious? |
00:18:50 |
Of course not. I've never been in a fight. |
00:18:53 |
Have you seen those |
00:18:56 |
Kids are brutal. |
00:19:00 |
He gave us an earthquake |
00:19:03 |
He shoved me in a locker. |
00:19:05 |
And he put my head in his shirt |
00:19:12 |
How's that funny? |
00:19:14 |
It's not funny. It's just, it's rare that, |
00:19:17 |
you know, |
00:19:18 |
Siamese queers. |
00:19:24 |
- What would you like me to do? |
00:19:29 |
So are they pretty much free to say |
00:19:31 |
Or am I allowed to defend myself? |
00:19:34 |
Oh, no. Principal Doppler, |
00:19:38 |
In this country, we give the accused |
00:19:42 |
Terry, come over here for a second, |
00:19:44 |
Now we've known each other for... |
00:19:46 |
- What's your take on this? |
00:19:50 |
Be polite! There you go. |
00:19:53 |
- Wade. |
00:19:54 |
Hey, T-Dog. Give me a pound. |
00:19:58 |
Yeah. Principal Doppler, sir, |
00:20:01 |
about starting this new school year. |
00:20:04 |
Who knows? |
00:20:09 |
but I'm sorry. |
00:20:11 |
I really am. |
00:20:13 |
You know, I appreciate you taking |
00:20:16 |
- He doesn't mean it! |
00:20:18 |
- Now. |
00:20:21 |
Well, not in this country, anyway. |
00:20:24 |
- He's an emancipated minor. |
00:20:27 |
It means he's legally an adult. |
00:20:29 |
He answers to no one. |
00:20:32 |
He's above the law. |
00:20:36 |
- What a nightmare, huh? |
00:20:39 |
Oh, crap. |
00:20:42 |
Oh, no. |
00:20:44 |
- Run. |
00:20:47 |
- Run! Go, go! |
00:20:49 |
Wait for me! |
00:21:09 |
Go, go! |
00:21:15 |
- Do you think he sees us? |
00:21:29 |
Open the door! Open the door! |
00:21:31 |
What do they want? |
00:21:32 |
Just keep driving, Mom. |
00:21:42 |
Let's go, let's go! |
00:22:02 |
Have you guys lost your mind? |
00:22:06 |
Go, go, come on! |
00:22:11 |
- Come on. |
00:22:13 |
- Run! Run! |
00:22:16 |
Get them, baby! |
00:22:22 |
There! The garage! |
00:22:46 |
You gonna rat on me, boys? |
00:22:48 |
Try to get my parents involved |
00:22:52 |
Now I have to make it my mission |
00:22:56 |
Hey! You kids get the hell off |
00:22:59 |
I'm gonna give you three seconds, |
00:23:02 |
- No! |
00:23:05 |
- Please don't! |
00:23:08 |
One! Two! Three! |
00:23:15 |
- Go! Go! |
00:23:29 |
Charles, chai latte up. |
00:23:31 |
- Hey! Get off my computer! |
00:23:34 |
Come on. |
00:23:38 |
If this doesn't work, |
00:23:40 |
When it works, |
00:23:43 |
How are we gonna know |
00:23:57 |
Have you ever done |
00:23:59 |
I worked for the hardest gangstas |
00:24:02 |
Kee Lo-Lo, Chenobee. |
00:24:05 |
Hell, I still work for Tupac, |
00:24:09 |
I am Israeli Military Secret Service |
00:24:13 |
So when I kill this kid, |
00:24:16 |
- or do you want him to suffer? |
00:24:21 |
If you hire Tiger's Protection Services, |
00:24:23 |
not only do you get the Tiger, |
00:24:25 |
but you get the protection |
00:24:31 |
Do you like hip-hop? |
00:24:32 |
What the hell you implying |
00:24:33 |
'Cause I'm dressed this way? |
00:24:36 |
That's the kind of music I like. Alabama. |
00:24:40 |
Some Brooks and Dunn. |
00:24:46 |
Kids hiring a bodyguard |
00:24:48 |
Stupidest thing I ever heard. |
00:24:50 |
Back in my day, if a kid was getting |
00:24:53 |
Pick somebody, anybody. |
00:24:56 |
right here, right now, and then you can |
00:25:02 |
How about you, lady? |
00:25:03 |
I'll kick your ass right now! |
00:25:07 |
- Yeah! |
00:25:10 |
You want an ass kicking? |
00:25:19 |
What do you do |
00:25:21 |
I work at Raging Waters. |
00:25:23 |
I sense great hesitation. |
00:25:28 |
I'm going to borrow this. |
00:25:30 |
- Please don't do that. |
00:25:35 |
- $2,100 a week. |
00:25:37 |
We're hoping you'd say, like, |
00:25:42 |
- Not interested. |
00:25:44 |
I can't help you. No one can help you! |
00:25:54 |
- Susan, your double espresso's up. |
00:26:11 |
I'm Drillbit Taylor. |
00:26:18 |
U.S. Army Ranger, black ops operative, |
00:26:23 |
- improvised weapons expert. |
00:26:27 |
I was discharged. |
00:26:33 |
Yeah. They call it an army of one |
00:26:39 |
Unless they mean the whole army |
00:26:43 |
But they certainly don't want one man |
00:26:45 |
like an army of one, |
00:26:49 |
As a bodyguard |
00:26:53 |
Bobby Brown, Sylvester Stallone... |
00:26:58 |
So what's the story? |
00:27:00 |
It should be easy for you. |
00:27:04 |
Yeah. Run into a few of those in my life. |
00:27:08 |
- What'd you do to provoke him? |
00:27:11 |
- and I'm awesome. |
00:27:14 |
By "awesome" do you mean |
00:27:18 |
Yeah. |
00:27:21 |
Yeah. |
00:27:22 |
- So how do we know you're legit? |
00:27:27 |
I'm not gonna bite. |
00:27:31 |
I want you to look at my eyes. |
00:27:34 |
Take a good look. |
00:27:37 |
Come here! What do you see? |
00:27:43 |
- What the hell have you seen? |
00:27:47 |
These eyes have seen |
00:27:52 |
That's my evidence. |
00:27:54 |
That's how you know if a guy's legit. |
00:27:59 |
I've seen things you wouldn't believe. |
00:28:01 |
I've watched C-beams glitter in the dark |
00:28:05 |
Isn't that Blade Runner? |
00:28:08 |
Look closely 'cause it's all in there. |
00:28:13 |
Boo! |
00:28:18 |
So, how much do you charge? |
00:28:21 |
$387 a week. |
00:28:25 |
- One second. |
00:28:27 |
I'm not even sure if I'm available. |
00:28:29 |
- He's good. |
00:28:31 |
You know, we might be able |
00:28:34 |
But right now, we've only got $83. |
00:28:39 |
Okay, well, give me that now |
00:28:46 |
You know what this is? |
00:28:49 |
It's a wing. |
00:28:51 |
And you're under it. |
00:28:56 |
Okay, here's the mission plan. |
00:28:58 |
Using my expertise at stealthy |
00:29:02 |
where I will watch over you |
00:29:06 |
Careful. |
00:29:08 |
Like the good Lord, |
00:29:11 |
so you're not always gonna see me, |
00:29:13 |
Especially when you don't see me. |
00:29:15 |
But first, I'm gonna need some supplies. |
00:29:17 |
- I want to go in and get... |
00:29:19 |
Maybe. |
00:29:20 |
But a lot of stuff, I'll just get from |
00:29:23 |
You'd be surprised. |
00:29:24 |
Anything can be turned into |
00:29:27 |
- Even a puppy? |
00:29:29 |
Germans used them in World War I. |
00:29:35 |
They'd attach dynamite to them. |
00:29:39 |
- Now, listen. One thing that... |
00:29:42 |
Wow. |
00:29:43 |
- We can go in. Nobody's home. |
00:29:49 |
- Soldiers? Cool. You hear that, T-Dog? |
00:29:53 |
Officers first! |
00:29:57 |
You, get me a bowl of cereal. |
00:30:09 |
- Okay, this I'm gonna need. Right here. |
00:30:12 |
You take that, |
00:30:14 |
At ease, Casper! |
00:30:16 |
Okay. Observe its momentary |
00:30:20 |
Bang! You're defenseless. |
00:30:23 |
Silver alloy, |
00:30:26 |
Probably stop an armor-piercing bullet |
00:30:29 |
You don't really think |
00:30:31 |
You tell me. |
00:30:33 |
Filkins is a whack job. |
00:30:36 |
- He's a menace. |
00:30:40 |
He once cut a kid's arm off |
00:30:43 |
- Bladed weaponry? |
00:30:45 |
Okay. I'm not gonna take any chances. |
00:30:49 |
Okay, now this will be good |
00:30:53 |
This is good. |
00:30:54 |
You take the guts out of this |
00:30:57 |
I think we can use this as a... |
00:31:00 |
I think I'll wear it on my wrist, possibly. |
00:31:02 |
You think you might need this? |
00:31:05 |
This piece of crap's not worth anything. |
00:31:09 |
As a weapon. It's too obvious. |
00:31:11 |
Testing, one, two. Mister Taylor? |
00:31:13 |
- Testing, one, two. |
00:31:16 |
Guys, you got to go far back! |
00:31:18 |
Testing, testing, one, two. |
00:31:23 |
- They work pretty good. |
00:31:25 |
- Yeah. |
00:31:26 |
- They get a little staticky, though... |
00:31:27 |
...I think, some places in the house. |
00:31:29 |
Why you need all this stuff for? |
00:31:30 |
I thought we were gonna give |
00:31:32 |
I am gonna beat him down, |
00:31:33 |
but sometimes |
00:31:35 |
then they get a little, you know... |
00:31:37 |
I'm home! |
00:31:40 |
- Go! Go! Mom! Mom! |
00:31:42 |
- Exit! Exit! |
00:31:44 |
Just 'cause you don't see me |
00:31:45 |
- Shut the door. |
00:31:49 |
- Hey, Barbara, how you doing? |
00:31:51 |
- Who's your new little friend? Hi. |
00:31:52 |
- Hi. Emmit Oosterhaus. |
00:31:54 |
- He's not our friend. |
00:31:56 |
He's like our hamster. |
00:31:57 |
Smell like something? |
00:32:01 |
- Ryan? You washing? |
00:32:05 |
It's a funny smell. It's all right. |
00:32:07 |
Hey, come on! Buzz us in! |
00:32:11 |
You're gonna wanna see this! |
00:32:12 |
Big money coming in! |
00:32:14 |
This ain't a bunch of |
00:32:16 |
Where do you want it? |
00:32:17 |
Go set them down there. |
00:32:19 |
So you don't think those kids |
00:32:22 |
No. They got two of everything. |
00:32:24 |
They got the iPod, the iPod Nano. |
00:32:28 |
'cause after this little transaction, |
00:32:31 |
well, the old Drillbit's taking his act |
00:32:34 |
- What? |
00:32:37 |
Well, that's stupid. |
00:32:39 |
- I'm going... |
00:32:43 |
You need to hang in there. |
00:32:45 |
You got to get in there and milk this. |
00:32:47 |
Okay, come on back. |
00:32:49 |
All right, I'll tell you what. |
00:32:54 |
What? |
00:32:55 |
I just heard you say |
00:32:58 |
So? Don't get all righteous on me. |
00:33:00 |
Half this store you guys got |
00:33:03 |
Hey. Who the hell |
00:33:05 |
Let me tell you something. |
00:33:07 |
We're not that harsh on them, |
00:33:09 |
How would you like it |
00:33:11 |
You have called me one. |
00:33:13 |
- Have we? Have we? |
00:33:15 |
- Drillbit? Drillbit? Come in. |
00:33:18 |
I'm sorry, hold it just a second. |
00:33:21 |
- Just take this. |
00:33:23 |
that Emmit was holding out |
00:33:25 |
Emmit, I don't care how many times you |
00:33:29 |
- I am a man. |
00:33:30 |
- Drillbit! Milk it, milk it. |
00:33:32 |
- on Monday. |
00:33:34 |
Ten-four, good buddy. |
00:33:37 |
Commence radio silence in three, two. |
00:33:43 |
Today's the official start |
00:33:46 |
Last week's history. |
00:33:49 |
- We became best friends. |
00:33:52 |
There's the sword. Man, we're so dead. |
00:33:55 |
- Where's Drillbit, Wade? |
00:33:58 |
- Please, where have you been? |
00:34:01 |
Where's my money? |
00:34:04 |
We got 40 bucks we promised, |
00:34:07 |
I sold my Yu-Gi-Oh cards. |
00:34:09 |
Okay, this is gonna be sweet. |
00:34:10 |
I can't wait to watch |
00:34:12 |
- Yeah. What, is he here? |
00:34:15 |
I want you to be |
00:34:17 |
What are you gonna do? |
00:34:18 |
- What am I gonna do? |
00:34:19 |
I want you to gnaw on his skull. |
00:34:20 |
- What's the plan? |
00:34:23 |
Guys, I'm gonna check this dude out. |
00:34:28 |
Yes. |
00:34:31 |
Excuse me. |
00:34:36 |
Yeah. |
00:34:43 |
Just got to kind of stand here |
00:34:50 |
All right. Hey, take it easy, man. |
00:34:57 |
He's thin, but sinewy and muscular. |
00:34:59 |
He's got a low center of gravity which |
00:35:02 |
He didn't take a shower today |
00:35:05 |
He's got a couple of cavities |
00:35:08 |
This is serious. I thought |
00:35:10 |
Yeah. |
00:35:11 |
Look at Tommy Trigger Finger. |
00:35:13 |
Well, it doesn't work that way. |
00:35:15 |
I can't just kick his ass. |
00:35:16 |
Physically, I can, |
00:35:21 |
then maybe you guys live till lunchtime. |
00:35:23 |
And then what? |
00:35:24 |
"Teach those victims how to kick |
00:35:28 |
Steven Seagal. |
00:35:30 |
So you're gonna teach us |
00:35:32 |
- Like train us? |
00:35:36 |
What I'm about to show you are |
00:35:40 |
And it's all about technique. |
00:35:42 |
I don't care if you're talking about |
00:35:44 |
karate, tai chi, kung fu, praying mantis, |
00:35:49 |
kung pao, Panda Express. |
00:35:52 |
It's all about technique. |
00:35:56 |
It's pretty flawless. |
00:35:58 |
I'm serious. Try to kill me. |
00:36:00 |
Come on. You ready? |
00:36:03 |
I got you! |
00:36:06 |
I got you! I got you! |
00:36:12 |
Damn it! |
00:36:13 |
Okay. Tripped right there. |
00:36:18 |
Okay. Wade. Come on! |
00:36:22 |
Here you go! Watch the elbows! |
00:36:23 |
Don't! Stop! |
00:36:25 |
Okay. Last but not least. Charge me. |
00:36:33 |
Everyone, up! Circle me! |
00:36:34 |
Come on. |
00:36:37 |
Okay, you guys ready for the blizzard? |
00:36:39 |
- Go get him, boys! |
00:36:42 |
I call truce! Truce! Back up! Three's |
00:36:48 |
Wow, one of you |
00:36:51 |
Okay. |
00:36:54 |
Sometimes you give |
00:36:57 |
"Ju don't know who |
00:36:59 |
Come on, Ryan, one more. Last one! |
00:37:04 |
Wow! |
00:37:06 |
Ryan! |
00:37:07 |
Man down! |
00:37:11 |
Ryan! |
00:37:13 |
Was that my fault? |
00:37:16 |
Hey! Check this out. |
00:37:19 |
Dude! You fell like 60 feet. |
00:37:22 |
Jeez, that was crazy. |
00:37:25 |
What is this? |
00:37:26 |
This is a strategic outpost. |
00:37:28 |
I got these posted all over the city. |
00:37:30 |
Don't even look at it, okay? |
00:37:31 |
Now let's get back up there |
00:37:33 |
What's this for? |
00:37:38 |
No. Look like a squeegee to you? |
00:37:40 |
Or does it look like a weapon |
00:37:43 |
and a little mop to clean up the blood? |
00:37:46 |
T-Dog, Emmit, this way. |
00:37:48 |
- Where's Drillbit? |
00:37:50 |
- Wait up. |
00:37:59 |
Man down! |
00:38:02 |
Take this. |
00:38:04 |
- Take a swing at my head. |
00:38:05 |
Wade, come on. Just hit me. |
00:38:07 |
- But it'll hurt. |
00:38:09 |
- I'll do it. |
00:38:15 |
I feel no pain, |
00:38:19 |
- Go! |
00:38:20 |
- Let's beat it. |
00:38:24 |
- Hey, Drillbit. We could make s'mores! |
00:38:28 |
- How much does a Hug Me Bear cost? |
00:38:31 |
- Where'd you get the kids, Drillbit? |
00:38:35 |
Order up! |
00:38:37 |
- How's this part of the training? |
00:38:39 |
- I'm already fat. |
00:38:42 |
I don't want to hear you say you're fat. |
00:38:44 |
Words like lard ass, fat pig, butterball, |
00:38:49 |
I don't want to hear that. |
00:38:52 |
180. |
00:38:54 |
What? |
00:38:57 |
Whenever you're ready, boys. |
00:38:58 |
Okay, one of you guys |
00:38:59 |
'cause I'm still on the clock. |
00:39:03 |
Filkins. Filkins. |
00:39:05 |
Avoidance technique! |
00:39:11 |
Come out here, Capone! |
00:39:12 |
You want to fight, |
00:39:14 |
This is very important. See that? |
00:39:16 |
What's the matter? Afraid to |
00:39:18 |
- He has a holdback guy. |
00:39:19 |
Now that allows people to think |
00:39:21 |
when really he doesn't want to fight. |
00:39:23 |
You got nothing in court. |
00:39:25 |
When I'm here I'm your holdback guy. |
00:39:26 |
So now you can act crazy. |
00:39:28 |
No, hey, hey, calm down. |
00:39:34 |
I'm gonna kill you! |
00:39:35 |
Hey, stop! Stop! |
00:39:38 |
Calm down. |
00:39:39 |
- Hoo-rah. |
00:39:42 |
Get under the wing. |
00:39:47 |
Put all the bills facing |
00:39:48 |
Yeah, don't worry about it, Don. |
00:39:51 |
I thought these kids were loaded. |
00:39:53 |
It's like all you read about are how |
00:39:56 |
and look at this. |
00:39:58 |
Hardly got anything. You think this is |
00:40:01 |
Allow me to make a point real quick. |
00:40:04 |
Hello, delicious. |
00:40:05 |
Drillbit? Do you know |
00:40:09 |
It's because these businessmen |
00:40:13 |
They have more than they need. |
00:40:15 |
These kids are a lot like |
00:40:18 |
They have way more than they need. |
00:40:20 |
It's our job to go into their houses |
00:40:23 |
I get a kick out of these kids. |
00:40:26 |
I told you that little fat one |
00:40:29 |
I like these kids, too, man. |
00:40:31 |
I mean, from what I gather, |
00:40:34 |
But if you like them, |
00:40:37 |
- If you care about them. |
00:40:39 |
Steal their TV. |
00:40:41 |
Maybe they'll read a book. |
00:40:43 |
Steal their iPod. Heck, I don't know. |
00:40:48 |
They don't need all this crap. |
00:40:49 |
You think Mozart had a Game Boy? |
00:40:51 |
I didn't have it. Didn't hurt me. |
00:40:55 |
Yeah, man, me, too. |
00:41:00 |
And the parents are never around. |
00:41:03 |
One big hit. It's all we need. |
00:41:20 |
Boobies. |
00:41:30 |
Penis! |
00:41:34 |
All right. Open your eyes, let your body |
00:41:41 |
Namaste. Thank you for your practice. |
00:41:47 |
- Okay. How do you feel? |
00:41:49 |
- Doing all right? |
00:41:52 |
Guns are coming in. |
00:41:53 |
Now, listen. |
00:41:56 |
- Next... |
00:41:57 |
Are you high? |
00:42:00 |
- We got to go back to school. |
00:42:03 |
How many diseases can a kid have? |
00:42:12 |
You guys think you're ready? |
00:42:15 |
You know, |
00:42:18 |
Look. If you're not ready to fight, |
00:42:21 |
But I got to be honest with you, |
00:42:22 |
only the strongest of warriors |
00:42:27 |
It's so difficult that most men |
00:42:32 |
What is it? |
00:42:34 |
What the hell is it? |
00:42:39 |
Love him. |
00:42:40 |
- What? |
00:42:42 |
You know, I don't know |
00:42:45 |
but I'm not gonna bang him. |
00:42:47 |
When I'm talking about love, |
00:42:49 |
- I'm not going to... |
00:42:53 |
Find your commonality. |
00:42:55 |
Let him know you're more alike |
00:42:59 |
Maybe that'll put out his fuse. |
00:43:03 |
And remember, guys, |
00:43:04 |
just because you don't see me |
00:43:07 |
I'll be there like a silent, |
00:43:11 |
- Thanks. |
00:43:12 |
All right, see you later, Drillbit. |
00:43:14 |
Remember, you're under my wing. |
00:43:19 |
Oh, no. |
00:43:21 |
There he is. Should we hide? |
00:43:23 |
No. We've been running |
00:43:26 |
This is what Drillbit's been |
00:43:29 |
He's rapping. You love to rap! |
00:43:33 |
No, I can't. |
00:43:34 |
Yes, you can. It's just like in 8 Mile. |
00:43:37 |
No, man, I'm afraid of him. I can't! |
00:43:38 |
- You're crazy! Don't do it. |
00:43:41 |
- I believe in you. |
00:43:43 |
All right. I can do it. I can do it. |
00:43:48 |
- Whassup, whassup? |
00:43:53 |
I wanna rap with you. |
00:43:56 |
Hit that beat. |
00:43:57 |
- Yo, this cool, Fil? |
00:44:02 |
Yo, call me whatever you want |
00:44:04 |
but you know I gets busy I'm so badass |
00:44:06 |
I'm the king of Vice City |
00:44:09 |
Like Beckham, I bend, I tell suckers |
00:44:11 |
"Say hello to my little friend" |
00:44:14 |
Snap! This guy! |
00:44:17 |
Hey, meatball, where's your spaghetti? |
00:44:21 |
But I don't see Freddy |
00:44:23 |
not even try to spit rhymes, dude |
00:44:26 |
all I ever see is chewed-up food |
00:44:29 |
Yeah, that's how we roll! |
00:44:31 |
Hold on! |
00:44:32 |
I know you didn't just go there |
00:44:33 |
I got more skills than you |
00:44:36 |
Nice, man, nice. |
00:44:38 |
So you better step off |
00:44:41 |
'Cause if you decide to step on, see |
00:44:44 |
Boom! |
00:44:48 |
Oh, my God, look |
00:44:51 |
He say one more word |
00:44:53 |
So surprised you're moving |
00:44:56 |
You're lucky I don't hit you |
00:45:00 |
Can't hurt my head with a bat |
00:45:03 |
I'm like Costco |
00:45:06 |
You don't like my words |
00:45:09 |
Well, guess what? |
00:45:12 |
Bitch! |
00:45:23 |
That was awesome. |
00:45:25 |
What have I just done? |
00:45:26 |
Hey, that was amazing. I mean, |
00:45:28 |
telling him to suck on |
00:45:29 |
was in questionable taste, but still... |
00:45:31 |
I know, I got caught up |
00:45:34 |
Keep walking. |
00:45:36 |
You know, most of those people |
00:45:39 |
Really? That could be good. |
00:45:46 |
Think you're so funny? |
00:45:48 |
Good. 'Cause you're not gonna laugh |
00:45:51 |
You're gonna get it now, |
00:45:54 |
All of you. |
00:45:56 |
Ryan, holdback technique. |
00:45:59 |
You don't like the fact that |
00:46:02 |
You better back the hell off before I... |
00:46:08 |
- Thanks for holding him for me. |
00:46:17 |
How did he do so much damage |
00:46:19 |
It's like his fist is the size |
00:46:21 |
I guess it's true. |
00:46:23 |
Rap really does promote violence. |
00:46:24 |
Yeah, but the question is, where was |
00:46:27 |
Maybe he got called to the black ops. |
00:46:29 |
Wade, come on. |
00:46:31 |
There's my little soldiers. |
00:46:34 |
There are my pooper troopers. |
00:46:36 |
Hey, sorry I missed that walkie-talkie |
00:46:42 |
- What the hell happened to you? |
00:46:46 |
- Filkins did that to you? |
00:46:48 |
Where were you? |
00:46:50 |
- With one punch? |
00:46:53 |
- Oh, crap. I'm sorry. |
00:46:56 |
- No, just let me get the blood off. |
00:46:58 |
Man. Here, sit down for a second. |
00:47:01 |
- Crap. It looks painful. |
00:47:04 |
- Here, let me put a little pressure on it. |
00:47:06 |
Hold it, hold it, hold it. |
00:47:07 |
Ryan had a rap off with Filkins. |
00:47:09 |
- You had a rap off? |
00:47:12 |
He said he was like Costco, |
00:47:15 |
That's what you said? |
00:47:17 |
Even though it's funny. |
00:47:19 |
That's not exactly what I meant |
00:47:21 |
Why didn't you get punched? |
00:47:24 |
'Cause of your brilliant |
00:47:26 |
The holdback technique? |
00:47:29 |
Yeah. Bottom line is |
00:47:33 |
Now we're more screwed than ever. |
00:47:35 |
All because you wanted to protect |
00:47:37 |
- Hey, let's just stop for a second. |
00:47:39 |
- You're a damn hobbit, okay? |
00:47:41 |
Hold it! Hey. |
00:47:45 |
Problem isn't the holdback technique, |
00:47:47 |
although I don't think you guys |
00:47:50 |
The problem is Randy |
00:47:52 |
It's not Randy! Okay? It's Ryan! |
00:47:55 |
And all this talk about you being there |
00:48:00 |
I'm tired of your nonsense! You're fired! |
00:48:02 |
Hey! Sit down here. |
00:48:06 |
All of you, sit down. You take the bass |
00:48:11 |
Now, we just completed phase one. |
00:48:13 |
See if this guy has any mettle. |
00:48:16 |
Filkins does have some mettle. |
00:48:20 |
Know what phase two is? |
00:48:23 |
That's where I come in. |
00:48:27 |
if I can help it. |
00:48:29 |
So what's the plan? |
00:48:31 |
- The plan? |
00:48:36 |
How early do you guys |
00:48:38 |
- 7:00. |
00:48:39 |
Oh, God. Okay. |
00:48:51 |
Hey, Wade, what's up? |
00:48:55 |
Where'd you get the shiner? |
00:48:57 |
Come in here, boy. Talk to me. |
00:49:02 |
I was protecting this one kid |
00:49:05 |
from a bunch of bullies |
00:49:08 |
What? Why would you protect |
00:49:11 |
So he doesn't get beat up. |
00:49:14 |
Then you're interfering |
00:49:18 |
When I was a kid, I was kind of a bully. |
00:49:20 |
But it's not a bad thing. There was |
00:49:24 |
Maybe it was his stupid face. |
00:49:28 |
So I pushed him around a little bit, |
00:49:31 |
and I honestly think, if I met him today, |
00:49:34 |
I prepared him for the harshness |
00:49:38 |
Thanks, Jim. |
00:49:40 |
I'm a resource, Wade. |
00:49:46 |
Is it locked? |
00:49:48 |
- You got lunch money? |
00:49:50 |
- You got any tests today? |
00:49:52 |
Don't fresh-off to any of your teachers. |
00:49:55 |
All right, come here, |
00:49:58 |
Come on, punky-wunky. I love you. |
00:50:04 |
- Okay. |
00:50:09 |
- Bye. I love you. |
00:50:12 |
"I love you, Mommy." |
00:50:15 |
Black ops in the hizzouse. |
00:50:17 |
This old soldier could use |
00:50:20 |
Come on. |
00:50:21 |
Drillbit is going in. Very visible. |
00:50:24 |
- You can't go in there looking like that. |
00:50:26 |
You look like Crocodile Dundee |
00:50:28 |
Screw you. What're you talking about? |
00:50:30 |
I'm just saying we need to clean you up. |
00:50:31 |
Wrong. This soldier doesn't clean up. |
00:50:34 |
Drillbit, you just don't look |
00:50:36 |
I mean, we need you to blend in. |
00:50:38 |
- In my house. Come on. |
00:50:41 |
"Camouflage technique"? I like that. |
00:50:43 |
...if I remember how to do this. |
00:50:59 |
Did your dad leave any socks behind? |
00:51:03 |
How many tardies can you have |
00:51:08 |
Emmit, you're drying my eyeballs. |
00:51:14 |
All right, here's our class schedules |
00:51:18 |
We have the first class together, |
00:51:21 |
so you can walk us to our lockers. |
00:51:22 |
Okay, now, remember, |
00:51:24 |
and start kicking ass, okay? |
00:51:26 |
but I need to blend in and lay low. |
00:51:29 |
I'm gonna be visible to you guys, |
00:51:40 |
That's a look that says, |
00:51:47 |
All first-time subs have it. |
00:51:52 |
- Thanks. Was it that obvious? |
00:51:56 |
Whoa! |
00:51:58 |
Not you kids. Please, go to class. |
00:52:02 |
You, second floor, teachers' lounge. |
00:52:05 |
They'll give you your assignment |
00:52:07 |
- I'm gonna head up there. Okay. |
00:52:19 |
How're you doing? |
00:52:22 |
Teachers' lounge. They're all the same. |
00:52:28 |
Put your names on the food. Smart. |
00:52:31 |
Sneaky. |
00:52:34 |
- See Grey's Anatomy last night? |
00:52:38 |
- Hey, Lis. |
00:52:39 |
Got half an orange with your name on it. |
00:52:41 |
Oh, no, thanks. |
00:52:58 |
- Can I help you? |
00:53:02 |
- Are you lost? |
00:53:05 |
- You look like a lost parent. |
00:53:08 |
No. I'm a substitute. |
00:53:13 |
- For what? |
00:53:19 |
Yeah, they'll just plug me in. |
00:53:23 |
you know, if they need me in |
00:53:27 |
- You know French? |
00:53:29 |
Enough to get by, |
00:53:35 |
- What do you teach? |
00:53:38 |
My native tongue. |
00:53:43 |
I'm Lisa Zachey. |
00:53:47 |
Now is that Miss or Missus Zachey? |
00:53:49 |
- Miss. |
00:53:57 |
And who are you? |
00:53:59 |
Drill... Dr. Illbit. |
00:54:02 |
Oh. |
00:54:03 |
- Yeah. |
00:54:05 |
Teacher. Teacher and a doctor. |
00:54:08 |
People don't care how I do it. |
00:54:13 |
- You want some hot coffee? |
00:54:19 |
Who can give me |
00:54:25 |
That's a little hint. |
00:54:26 |
That's right, the clap. Or the drip. |
00:54:31 |
All right, Dane? Get the lights. |
00:54:33 |
In the male, the bacteria of gonorrhea |
00:54:38 |
From two to five days later, |
00:54:41 |
particularly when he urinates... |
00:54:43 |
They make these things to scare us. |
00:54:46 |
... looks like this. |
00:54:49 |
- I really like your suit. |
00:54:53 |
Now what do we do? |
00:54:55 |
Not many teachers |
00:54:57 |
- Yeah? |
00:55:01 |
Well, I mainly eat out of a dumpster. |
00:55:05 |
I should try that. |
00:55:07 |
Don't. Or if you do, stay away from |
00:55:11 |
That's mine. Seriously, stay out of it. |
00:55:16 |
- What are we doing? Let's go. |
00:55:19 |
You're a bad boy. |
00:55:22 |
- Maybe I need a detention. |
00:55:26 |
- I'm not joking. |
00:55:36 |
Look, I want nothing more |
00:55:38 |
sitting on this couch with you, |
00:55:41 |
but I got to get to class because |
00:55:44 |
No. You still have five minutes |
00:55:48 |
We do? |
00:55:50 |
And you seem like someone who could |
00:55:54 |
I hope so. |
00:55:56 |
Although five minutes |
00:56:03 |
Let's go, let's go! |
00:56:05 |
We really like Life Skills. |
00:56:07 |
Why don't you practice |
00:56:09 |
It's just as important. |
00:56:12 |
Okay, where is he? |
00:56:13 |
This is bull. Maybe I should |
00:56:16 |
There's Brooke! |
00:56:23 |
Oh, no. There he is. |
00:56:31 |
I think I'd better get... |
00:56:32 |
When are you free? I want to see you. |
00:56:34 |
- I have sixth period free. |
00:56:36 |
I think I have that period free, also. |
00:56:38 |
Why don't we meet back here? Okay? |
00:56:40 |
- Okay. |
00:56:42 |
I'll keep the couch warm. |
00:56:43 |
We better check the tags to make sure |
00:56:46 |
- I will. |
00:56:48 |
You know what I mean? |
00:56:50 |
- Yes. |
00:56:53 |
Where is Life Skills? |
00:56:58 |
Drillbit, come in, please! |
00:57:00 |
Drillbit, come in! |
00:57:01 |
I don't know! |
00:57:04 |
- Go, go, go! |
00:57:08 |
- Crap! |
00:57:11 |
- I told you! |
00:57:13 |
Life Skills! |
00:57:15 |
I need Life Skills! |
00:57:18 |
Out of my way! |
00:57:27 |
Open the door! |
00:57:29 |
How is that up to code? |
00:57:31 |
Excuse me! |
00:57:36 |
Excuse me! |
00:57:51 |
This is real! This is not a drill. |
00:57:53 |
Everybody, clear the hall! |
00:57:55 |
That means you! Let's go! |
00:58:00 |
The freak actually came through, huh? |
00:58:04 |
Awesome! |
00:58:12 |
- Hoo-rah. |
00:58:16 |
All right. |
00:58:27 |
Mister Filkins! |
00:58:29 |
to the front of the class and read from |
00:58:32 |
The Collected Works |
00:58:39 |
"I like kissing this and that of you |
00:58:41 |
"I like slowly stroking the shocking fuzz" |
00:58:51 |
Hey, aren't you the guy that |
00:58:55 |
You better believe it. |
00:58:57 |
- Wow, that's cool. |
00:59:01 |
Wow. |
00:59:02 |
Wade, this is Drillbit. Come in. Wade? |
00:59:05 |
- Yeah? |
00:59:08 |
The first stairwell. He's coming |
00:59:11 |
Read you. Copy. Roger. |
00:59:12 |
F.Y.I., I just heard this pack of girls |
00:59:15 |
just got cast in Romeo and Juliet. |
00:59:19 |
Madam, madam, your lady mother |
00:59:24 |
The day is broke, be wary, look about. |
00:59:30 |
Come on! You're dogging it! |
00:59:34 |
Go! I want to see some more! |
00:59:36 |
Go! Come on! |
00:59:41 |
And you guys! |
00:59:43 |
Do some bass fishing! Then reel it in! |
00:59:46 |
Come on! |
00:59:47 |
Let's go, keep going! |
00:59:50 |
For texting! |
00:59:53 |
Look out, huh? |
00:59:55 |
- How was school, Professor? |
00:59:59 |
And as long as you got a coffee cup |
01:00:06 |
I was thinking |
01:00:08 |
- Hey! |
01:00:09 |
Coffee cup. |
01:00:10 |
Now, Castro, |
01:00:13 |
any action with Marilyn Monroe. |
01:00:15 |
And that is why John F. Kennedy |
01:00:22 |
- Don! |
01:00:31 |
Come on, guys, hit the showers! |
01:00:35 |
Look, my rope's too short. |
01:00:39 |
Where you going? Get back here! |
01:00:43 |
- Yo, hold on! |
01:00:45 |
Ronnie, let yourself down. |
01:00:59 |
Happy birthday, Dr. Illbit |
01:01:04 |
Happy birthday to you |
01:01:57 |
Hey, T-Dog. You've got to admit |
01:02:01 |
- Okay, you're right. |
01:02:03 |
The freak's actually worth all the money |
01:02:07 |
Good morning. |
01:02:09 |
- Great coffee this morning, Dr. Illbit. |
01:02:13 |
- You know, I really like it here. |
01:02:15 |
I know I am. |
01:02:16 |
Come here, come here, come here. |
01:02:19 |
Okay, quick. Pop quiz. You like a girl. |
01:02:21 |
You're completely shocked |
01:02:23 |
Things are already just crazy hot, |
01:02:26 |
But now you'd like to ask her out. |
01:02:28 |
And you're not sure if |
01:02:31 |
And you haven't been |
01:02:34 |
And you're a little bit afraid, |
01:02:35 |
and you don't know |
01:02:37 |
Well, I can't really relate to that, |
01:02:39 |
but what I would do is just |
01:02:41 |
and eventually work up |
01:02:44 |
- And how's that working for you? |
01:02:47 |
Okay, look. One should do the opposite. |
01:02:49 |
- Yeah, probably. |
01:02:51 |
Congratulations, you just passed. |
01:02:58 |
- Hey. |
01:03:00 |
- Look, you look pretty. |
01:03:03 |
You know, |
01:03:04 |
and I really don't know the way |
01:03:07 |
because we kind of skipped that part. |
01:03:09 |
But would you ever want to get together |
01:03:15 |
I'm sorry. |
01:03:17 |
Rule 35A in the teacher's manual states |
01:03:22 |
Oh, really. Yeah. |
01:03:27 |
Yeah. |
01:03:28 |
So it's a good thing you're a doctor. |
01:03:34 |
So, yes. |
01:03:38 |
- I'll see you tonight? |
01:03:41 |
The Battle of Sekigahara |
01:03:45 |
when Kanetsugu mocked |
01:03:50 |
which only infuriated Tokunaga |
01:03:54 |
who then summoned Toyotomi |
01:04:01 |
And kept the local feudal lords |
01:04:04 |
Hey. What are you doing in this club? |
01:04:06 |
I'm Asian. |
01:04:08 |
He died. Then... |
01:04:10 |
- No, you aren't. |
01:04:13 |
Really? |
01:04:15 |
- You don't even look a little Asian. |
01:04:19 |
The West attacked first. |
01:04:22 |
So how come I see you in, like, |
01:04:27 |
Just... I joined some of the clubs |
01:04:31 |
I wanted to have a chance to talk to you. |
01:04:33 |
Wakisaka, 990 men. |
01:04:39 |
So you're not Asian. |
01:04:42 |
No. |
01:04:44 |
Well, maybe somewhere way back. |
01:04:47 |
Chosokabe, 6,600 men. |
01:04:52 |
All these men. |
01:04:54 |
Well, you can't quit now. |
01:04:56 |
I'm gonna make you come |
01:04:58 |
Membership is way down this year. |
01:05:00 |
Okay. I can do that. |
01:05:03 |
- Is everything okay at school? |
01:05:07 |
Honey, I know there's a lot of pressure |
01:05:11 |
And there are kids who are gonna |
01:05:13 |
but they'll also want you |
01:05:16 |
I just noticed that you seem |
01:05:19 |
and I want to make sure |
01:05:21 |
No! I'm not doing drugs, Mom. |
01:05:24 |
Coach says drugs are for losers. |
01:05:28 |
You sure you're not high? |
01:05:30 |
No! |
01:05:32 |
Well, I notice you're really going |
01:05:33 |
- Got the munchies? |
01:05:37 |
I understand that. |
01:05:38 |
Also, I'm missing a silver platter |
01:05:42 |
- Have you seen it? |
01:05:44 |
We needed serving trays |
01:05:46 |
Yeah, well, come to think of it, |
01:05:48 |
You didn't take that to Home Ec, too, |
01:05:50 |
Oh, yeah. |
01:05:52 |
Watch it, wise guy. |
01:05:59 |
Hey. |
01:06:02 |
Careful, Wade. You don't sneak up |
01:06:05 |
- Sorry. |
01:06:07 |
But I could have jumped up |
01:06:09 |
and then, I don't know, I'd feel guilty. |
01:06:11 |
- I talked to Brooke. |
01:06:14 |
- I think she might like me. |
01:06:16 |
Yeah. At least a little bit. |
01:06:18 |
That's all you need. |
01:06:20 |
I don't think I would have had |
01:06:23 |
- I mean... |
01:06:24 |
It's been great having someone |
01:06:27 |
and isn't making fun of me |
01:06:29 |
like my stepdad. |
01:06:30 |
Just do your best. Be all you can be. |
01:06:33 |
"Have it your way." |
01:06:37 |
I think that's Burger King. |
01:06:41 |
Where do you think they got it from? |
01:06:43 |
Plus, what you did. |
01:06:49 |
Well, yeah. |
01:06:52 |
Yeah. I actually wanted to be a doctor. |
01:06:56 |
Yeah. |
01:06:58 |
But my old man was an Army colonel, |
01:07:04 |
Yeah. He always said, "Drillbit, you're |
01:07:09 |
I guess he thought that |
01:07:12 |
or like to go to school. |
01:07:18 |
I don't know. Maybe he was right. |
01:07:21 |
So you became an army of one. |
01:07:24 |
An army of one. |
01:07:27 |
Here. |
01:07:29 |
We made this for you. |
01:07:32 |
An army of four. |
01:07:36 |
I don't know if you understand, |
01:07:38 |
but before we met you, we thought |
01:07:42 |
At least I did. |
01:07:46 |
Well, you're right. I don't understand |
01:07:52 |
Tough thing about what I do |
01:07:57 |
Well, for what it's worth, |
01:08:00 |
I hope after all this is done, |
01:08:03 |
Bye. |
01:08:13 |
This is so beautiful. |
01:08:16 |
I love coming out here. |
01:08:18 |
Actually, I used to live in a small place |
01:08:23 |
Yeah. |
01:08:24 |
- That's a shame. |
01:08:26 |
Hey, stranger. |
01:08:29 |
Can you spare some change, stranger? |
01:08:32 |
Here you go. |
01:08:36 |
- Sucker. |
01:08:38 |
Got some money for some food? Hi. |
01:08:43 |
No time to be cheap. |
01:08:45 |
- Wow. |
01:08:51 |
- Cool. Thank you very much. |
01:08:52 |
Hey, can I get another dollar? |
01:08:58 |
You look familiar. |
01:09:02 |
You know that you're a better person |
01:09:04 |
because, I hate to say it, |
01:09:08 |
They irritate the shit out of me. |
01:09:12 |
But then you have to think, |
01:09:16 |
- That's cute. |
01:09:20 |
Come here. |
01:09:21 |
- There. |
01:09:25 |
So what else do you have in here? |
01:09:28 |
- Two-buck Chuck. |
01:09:30 |
I love this wine. |
01:09:32 |
- That's all a teacher can afford. |
01:09:35 |
Get this. |
01:09:38 |
And here I was all worried that |
01:09:40 |
to some hip dance club or something. |
01:09:43 |
That's definitely not me. |
01:09:46 |
But, no, I'm actually more of |
01:09:48 |
a kind of simple, |
01:09:51 |
I like that you don't try too hard. |
01:09:54 |
The truth is, |
01:09:58 |
That's cute. |
01:10:02 |
Look, I want to talk to you. I mean... |
01:10:08 |
There's some things |
01:10:12 |
I want us to look each other in the eye, |
01:10:15 |
and we just, you know, |
01:10:19 |
God. You're just so great. You're really |
01:10:24 |
- Really? |
01:10:27 |
You're just beautiful, |
01:10:32 |
'Cause I'm really just always attracted |
01:10:36 |
They're out there. |
01:10:37 |
I'm a real loser magnet. |
01:10:41 |
I just need to be with a guy who has |
01:10:46 |
You know, just some loser, |
01:10:50 |
- Stop, stop, stop, stop. |
01:10:52 |
Stop it. |
01:10:53 |
I get it. You made some bad choices, |
01:10:57 |
It's just you were starting |
01:11:00 |
It's just I'm happy to be |
01:11:02 |
I know. |
01:11:03 |
You're with a doctor now. |
01:11:06 |
Yeah. Thank God. |
01:11:10 |
Let's just kiss. |
01:11:26 |
Did you do that? |
01:11:28 |
Kid just jumped out of the bushes |
01:11:32 |
I got nothing to do with it. |
01:11:58 |
- That naked guy's my teacher! |
01:12:00 |
- Yeah! |
01:12:02 |
Every day he's at the off-ramp. |
01:12:05 |
What do you mean? Like a bum? |
01:12:07 |
What are you talking about? |
01:12:13 |
Yeah, or get out of the way. |
01:12:14 |
How're you doing? |
01:12:16 |
- Hey, how's it going, Drillbit? |
01:12:17 |
So, listen, |
01:12:19 |
- Yeah. |
01:12:20 |
- Plan's off. |
01:12:22 |
- Drillbit! Drillbit. |
01:12:25 |
What do you mean the plan's off? |
01:12:26 |
It's not off. I just mean let's... |
01:12:29 |
'Cause I don't think we need |
01:12:31 |
These kids, |
01:12:33 |
and, I don't know, |
01:12:34 |
Hey, hey, hey, hey. |
01:12:36 |
You're really getting into this whole |
01:12:38 |
With the sweaters and the loafers. |
01:12:40 |
- They're wingtips. |
01:12:43 |
What the hell is this? Who are you? |
01:12:45 |
I got an old saying for you, Drillbit, |
01:12:49 |
Hey, Don, first of all, |
01:12:51 |
You stole that from me. |
01:12:52 |
I say it all the time. |
01:12:55 |
Well, you should be. Drillbit, I know you. |
01:12:58 |
And the real you |
01:13:00 |
There's a lot of heads that want to feed |
01:13:04 |
No! No, that's just it. |
01:13:06 |
For the first time, |
01:13:08 |
- And now you're not making any sense! |
01:13:10 |
That guy's a fraud! |
01:13:19 |
Yo, yo, yo, yo. |
01:13:21 |
I just saw the new substitute... |
01:13:22 |
Delta-four-niner, |
01:13:24 |
On the highway to the danger zone. |
01:13:26 |
Repeat, on the highway, over. |
01:13:27 |
Oh, shitballs! |
01:13:29 |
Yu-Gi-Oh-four-seven, |
01:13:32 |
Repeat, you got a bogie northbound. |
01:13:34 |
- Oh, crap. |
01:13:35 |
I'm en route. |
01:13:37 |
Guys, hold your position! |
01:13:40 |
Come here, you little rat turds! |
01:13:42 |
No! Come on! |
01:13:43 |
Yo, so what'd you do, huh? |
01:13:45 |
What, did you give the substitute |
01:13:47 |
- so he'd give us a hard time? |
01:13:49 |
Mister Filkins? |
01:13:51 |
Excuse me. I need you to get to class. |
01:13:53 |
And you three, |
01:13:55 |
- Go on! |
01:13:56 |
Get out of my face, you bum! |
01:13:59 |
Maybe I will |
01:14:01 |
But until you're ready to do that, |
01:14:03 |
I'm gonna give you |
01:14:05 |
Please, just don't, |
01:14:07 |
Yeah. That's my power, |
01:14:10 |
And then what? Huh? You gonna make |
01:14:13 |
with you and the rest of the bums? |
01:14:14 |
- Yeah, we're on to you, buddy. |
01:14:16 |
What a freak. You got some |
01:14:20 |
Okay, here's the deal. |
01:14:23 |
I'm a faculty... |
01:14:26 |
Punk-ass! |
01:14:28 |
- He got me right in the ear! |
01:14:32 |
- Yeah! Run! Save yourself! |
01:14:34 |
Medic! |
01:14:36 |
Medic! |
01:14:38 |
I got hit right in the nose! |
01:14:40 |
Followed up by a shot to the ear! |
01:14:43 |
Oh, man. Okay. |
01:14:49 |
Oh, that doesn't work at all. |
01:14:52 |
- This whole time he's a bum! |
01:14:55 |
- Guys, let me explain! |
01:14:59 |
Filkins is just gonna come after us |
01:15:01 |
What was that about showering |
01:15:03 |
You guys, hold it. |
01:15:04 |
Why would you shower on the beach? |
01:15:05 |
Why don't we all just shower |
01:15:06 |
It's part of my morning fitness regimen! |
01:15:07 |
I jog on the beach five miles, |
01:15:09 |
That's what I do to stay in shape. |
01:15:12 |
So, why didn't you defend yourself? |
01:15:13 |
'Cause I got sucker punched! |
01:15:18 |
Then I got hit in the ear, |
01:15:19 |
which you probably can't even see, |
01:15:23 |
I didn't really get hurt, |
01:15:24 |
but I just kind of went down |
01:15:27 |
We paid you to beat him up! |
01:15:29 |
How am I gonna beat him up |
01:15:32 |
Okay, then the principal comes |
01:15:35 |
They'll find out I'm not a real teacher. |
01:15:37 |
What good am I |
01:15:40 |
Look, I took a bullet for you guys today. |
01:15:43 |
You guys got off scot-free! |
01:15:44 |
- Did you get hurt? |
01:15:46 |
- Did you get hurt? |
01:15:48 |
I'm like one of those guys |
01:15:51 |
And, look, I'm not expecting a thank you. |
01:15:54 |
But maybe give me a bonus |
01:15:56 |
Sly used to throw in a car |
01:16:02 |
I'm so sorry, Drillbit. |
01:16:06 |
What am I gonna do with you guys? |
01:16:10 |
You want some cereal? |
01:16:12 |
- You got any Cap'n Crunch? |
01:16:15 |
Let's go. |
01:16:20 |
- Drillbit! |
01:16:21 |
- What the hell? |
01:16:23 |
- Put that stuff down! |
01:16:24 |
- Drillbit, why you yelling? |
01:16:26 |
- You know these guys? |
01:16:29 |
We're almost done here, all right? |
01:16:30 |
- I am freaking out! |
01:16:32 |
- What the hell's going on? |
01:16:34 |
- Screw this, man! I'm out of here! |
01:16:35 |
- Why are you all yelling? |
01:16:36 |
- Not like this! What are you doing? |
01:16:38 |
- Just take it easy, man. |
01:16:41 |
- Relax. |
01:16:43 |
You came to me as a man, |
01:16:44 |
All the shit is gone in my house! |
01:16:46 |
- Are you... |
01:16:47 |
Don't make me Billy Jack your ass. |
01:16:51 |
Watch out! |
01:17:03 |
That's how you Billy Jack |
01:17:05 |
Come on, Bernie, let's go! |
01:17:07 |
Let's go! |
01:17:08 |
- Let's go! |
01:17:10 |
You'd better run! I saw your faces! |
01:17:13 |
I got a photogenic memory! |
01:17:15 |
Get out of my house, you asshole! |
01:17:17 |
What? There's another one? |
01:17:20 |
No! You, asshole! Get out of my house, |
01:17:23 |
I didn't do anything! |
01:17:25 |
I'm trying to help you guys! Look at me! |
01:17:27 |
Wade, I think one of them peed |
01:17:29 |
- Great! |
01:17:32 |
No, don't call the police! Just stop. |
01:17:34 |
Drillbit, just tell us the truth. |
01:17:36 |
You can't handle the truth! I can't... |
01:17:39 |
That I was raised in an orphanage? |
01:17:41 |
That I... That no one wanted me? |
01:17:44 |
'Cause that's a lie, too! |
01:17:48 |
Fine. Maybe I wasn't completely straight |
01:17:52 |
So you lied about being in the military? |
01:17:54 |
No! That's true. I was trained |
01:17:58 |
Then why could a teenager beat you up |
01:18:01 |
Because I don't like violence. |
01:18:04 |
- Boo-hoo. |
01:18:07 |
and the crawling through the mud |
01:18:11 |
and the helping the wounded, |
01:18:14 |
Even this, with you three ganging up |
01:18:18 |
- It's really... I'm sorry. |
01:18:21 |
You were in the military, huh? |
01:18:24 |
My company was in the Middle East, |
01:18:29 |
I saw some camels and heard some, |
01:18:34 |
I think, were some explosions, |
01:18:37 |
And it was... |
01:18:42 |
I just climbed in the wheel well of a |
01:18:46 |
I went AWOL. It was... |
01:18:48 |
Is your name even Drillbit? |
01:18:51 |
Is my... |
01:18:53 |
What? How can you ask me that? |
01:18:55 |
Is it? |
01:18:58 |
No, it's... It's Alamo Taylor. |
01:19:05 |
No. That's a lie, too. |
01:19:08 |
There I go, trying to impress |
01:19:13 |
When are you gonna grow up? |
01:19:16 |
My real name is Bob Taylor. |
01:19:18 |
Not Robert, just Bob. |
01:19:22 |
There, you satisfied? |
01:19:25 |
Although when I was in high school, |
01:19:27 |
I did puncture my pinky with a drill bit. |
01:19:30 |
And everyone started calling me Drillbit, |
01:19:33 |
- Okay? And you can see the scar... |
01:19:35 |
...if you look closely right there. |
01:19:36 |
Look, Ryan, look, you can see it. |
01:19:40 |
Can you see it in the light? |
01:19:41 |
So you were just using us to take |
01:19:54 |
That's kind of an oversimplification. |
01:19:58 |
I thought you cared about us. |
01:20:00 |
I do. I just... |
01:20:04 |
I thought you were my friend. |
01:20:07 |
Get out, Drillbit, |
01:20:16 |
Leave! |
01:20:19 |
I'm sorry. |
01:20:28 |
Hello? |
01:20:29 |
Hey. Yeah, look, I know... |
01:20:31 |
I'm sorry, I know |
01:20:33 |
but I'm just having a real terrible day. |
01:20:35 |
Where are you? |
01:20:38 |
Remember you said you had |
01:20:42 |
of always going out with guys |
01:20:47 |
Total zeros. |
01:20:49 |
- Yes. |
01:20:51 |
You might not be |
01:20:54 |
No, you said you were a doctor. |
01:20:59 |
No, I'm not a doctor. |
01:21:00 |
I'm a homeless U.S. Army deserter. |
01:21:04 |
I'm not a teacher, but I'm at the school. |
01:21:07 |
What? What did you say |
01:21:11 |
Like, metaphorically speaking |
01:21:18 |
You got to let it out. |
01:21:21 |
You got to just let it out. Just... |
01:21:30 |
That's not it. |
01:21:32 |
Drillbit? I mean, Bob. It's us, the guys. |
01:21:36 |
- Pick up, Bob. |
01:21:40 |
Boys? |
01:21:41 |
We just called to say |
01:21:44 |
and we hope you spend the rest |
01:21:47 |
Now I see why people call you Drillbit. |
01:21:51 |
You're a jackass and a dirtbag. |
01:21:55 |
And I want my bar mitzvah money back. |
01:21:57 |
Oh, yeah, |
01:22:07 |
I tell you what, |
01:22:09 |
1,500? Come on, man. |
01:22:10 |
This stuff holds |
01:22:12 |
- To who? |
01:22:15 |
I don't care about them. 1,500. |
01:22:17 |
All right. Deal. What do I do? |
01:22:19 |
- Yeah, back it right up. |
01:22:25 |
How're you doing, Don? |
01:22:30 |
You got a real stupid laugh, |
01:22:34 |
How about you go ahead |
01:22:36 |
so I can kick your ass again? |
01:22:38 |
Sorry, but this haul's getting |
01:22:41 |
- Oh, really? |
01:22:43 |
And I'll tell you another thing |
01:22:44 |
This left foot is gonna go |
01:22:46 |
- of your face! |
01:22:47 |
I know you and the Drillbit I know |
01:22:55 |
Hoo-rah! |
01:22:58 |
I'm giving you one more chance |
01:23:04 |
Damn it! You ready for this, Don? |
01:23:08 |
- No! |
01:23:16 |
Polish that turd, Don! |
01:23:22 |
I'm dead. |
01:23:24 |
- You're dead. |
01:23:29 |
Wade, what's wrong? |
01:23:32 |
Yeah, but you're not gonna |
01:23:34 |
- Oh, no, no, no. The cable go out? |
01:23:39 |
Of course it was your fault! |
01:23:40 |
You were home! |
01:23:42 |
Bear with me. |
01:23:45 |
Oh, God. |
01:23:46 |
Please don't scream. |
01:23:50 |
What the hell? |
01:23:51 |
We were! |
01:23:53 |
We didn't get robbed! |
01:23:56 |
You and your weirdo friends |
01:23:58 |
- No! |
01:24:00 |
- Punish him, Dad. |
01:24:02 |
- Are you smoking pot? |
01:24:05 |
No, no, Wade. |
01:24:08 |
Who's Drillbit? |
01:24:10 |
You tell me what's going on now, Wade. |
01:24:13 |
I just... I think it's weird, you know, |
01:24:15 |
that this is what I get for trying to make |
01:24:19 |
I mean, I saw it like a school tradition. |
01:24:24 |
just to, you know, make them |
01:24:26 |
Sort of like a fun initiation. |
01:24:30 |
I mean, didn't you all have that |
01:24:32 |
Yeah. I remember my first few days. |
01:24:36 |
egged a few times. |
01:24:39 |
Yeah, Wade, boys, you really |
01:24:41 |
Yeah, this boy's not dangerous, |
01:24:43 |
not compared to a dirty, |
01:24:46 |
The more I think about it, |
01:24:49 |
All right. I'm... I'm sorry, but your boys |
01:24:54 |
threatening the safety of my students. |
01:24:56 |
Now, I don't... I don't wanna point |
01:24:58 |
but I think we all know who's to blame. |
01:25:02 |
You put my life in danger, guys. |
01:25:05 |
It's worse than any hazing |
01:25:08 |
I'm just lucky I was able |
01:25:10 |
Who knows what might have happened? |
01:25:11 |
This guy's a veteran! |
01:25:14 |
Did anybody see "To Catch a Predator" |
01:25:16 |
- I watched that! |
01:25:18 |
It's where they set the booby trap |
01:25:20 |
- Oh, yeah, yeah. |
01:25:22 |
I mean, could you imagine it? |
01:25:24 |
and then all of a sudden, |
01:25:26 |
- Yeah. |
01:25:27 |
- Yeah. |
01:25:28 |
I think you'll be glad to know I gave |
01:25:33 |
to the police and they said |
01:25:36 |
No, what the hell's the matter |
01:25:38 |
Are you mentally defective |
01:25:41 |
You got to understand, |
01:25:43 |
this psychopath over here |
01:25:45 |
I mean, Filkins is the real criminal! |
01:25:47 |
Yes! He has a samurai sword |
01:25:49 |
- he has used on his other victims! |
01:25:55 |
Sit down! |
01:25:58 |
Sit down! |
01:26:00 |
Thank you very much. |
01:26:02 |
Now, Terry. |
01:26:04 |
Is there any truth to this? |
01:26:07 |
Oh, yeah. All of it. |
01:26:10 |
I'm really a samurai warrior from |
01:26:19 |
He's cute. |
01:26:20 |
Okay, I hope I speak for everyone here |
01:26:23 |
in saying that I feel |
01:26:27 |
- Thank you. Okay, okay. |
01:26:28 |
Very good. |
01:26:29 |
- Thank you. |
01:26:31 |
- Hey, wasn't that fun? |
01:26:34 |
- Oh, my goodness! |
01:26:35 |
- You feel better now, honey? |
01:26:36 |
I did not know you were all alone. |
01:26:38 |
We want to have you over to the house |
01:26:40 |
- That would be wonderful! |
01:26:50 |
Give me one, please. |
01:26:56 |
You're kind of a born loser. It's funny. |
01:27:00 |
It's not funny. |
01:27:02 |
It's funny to me. |
01:27:04 |
Come on, don't jinx me. Don't jinx me. |
01:27:08 |
500! Yes! Yes! I did it! |
01:27:11 |
- I got it, man! |
01:27:13 |
Look at that! Yes! |
01:27:14 |
You got a ticket to Canada! |
01:27:16 |
You better believe it! Come on, man! |
01:27:18 |
Finally! Finally, I get one! |
01:27:20 |
Come here, you! |
01:27:24 |
You got it! Well, maybe just get |
01:27:41 |
Okay, keep your eyes peeled. |
01:27:46 |
- Do you see Filkins? |
01:27:49 |
Gonna go for it. I'm gonna ask her out. |
01:27:53 |
- Really? |
01:27:54 |
- You waited all this time. Why now? |
01:27:58 |
My life sucks so badly, |
01:28:00 |
it's not like I'll have very far to fall. |
01:28:07 |
I don't know. |
01:28:10 |
- Hi. |
01:28:13 |
Look, I don't know how to do this. |
01:28:16 |
In fact, I've been wanting to do this |
01:28:19 |
when would be a good time. I don't... |
01:28:21 |
I didn't know if it would ever be |
01:28:28 |
It's okay, Brooke. |
01:28:32 |
Yo, bro, I swear to God |
01:28:36 |
but if you wanted to, say, hire me |
01:28:39 |
I think maybe I could dedicate my life |
01:28:45 |
Wade, come on. |
01:28:48 |
What'd you say, ho? |
01:28:50 |
Okay, you know what? |
01:28:52 |
Why don't you just leave them alone? |
01:28:54 |
What are you gonna do, bro? |
01:28:59 |
You aren't gonna do anything, |
01:29:04 |
- Leave him alone! |
01:29:12 |
You see? Look at that. |
01:29:15 |
Sackless! |
01:29:21 |
Why do you even waste my time? |
01:29:30 |
You all right, Wade? |
01:29:32 |
- Don't worry about that guy. |
01:29:34 |
- Get up. Let's get out of here. |
01:29:37 |
Where are you going? |
01:29:38 |
- T-Dog! Stop him! |
01:29:44 |
Come on, Wade! |
01:29:45 |
I'll kick the crap out of you right now. |
01:29:47 |
Half because |
01:29:50 |
and half because |
01:29:55 |
Do you think I'm dumb? |
01:29:57 |
Trying to trick me |
01:30:00 |
Fine. Then we'll beat your face in |
01:30:03 |
- Anywhere. Go ahead. You name it. |
01:30:05 |
Everybody! Everybody! I'm gonna kick |
01:30:10 |
Everybody should come! |
01:30:13 |
Ultimate Geek Fighting! |
01:30:15 |
Once you step on my property, |
01:30:20 |
and I can do anything I want. |
01:30:22 |
You're nothing but a pathetic wimp, |
01:30:23 |
and everyone's gonna know |
01:30:27 |
And I will see you there! |
01:30:36 |
What have I just done? |
01:30:38 |
That was awesome, man. |
01:30:40 |
- Me and Emmit are gonna back you up. |
01:30:44 |
You've never been nice to me, Ryan, |
01:30:46 |
And I've tried so hard |
01:30:49 |
but I am not going to die |
01:30:52 |
"Survival technique." |
01:30:56 |
I have a future! |
01:31:00 |
What do we do next? |
01:31:02 |
Guess we'd better learn how to fight. |
01:31:06 |
- Jump left, jump left. |
01:31:08 |
- That's what I'm talking about! |
01:31:10 |
- That's what I'm talking about! |
01:31:12 |
Come on! Yes! |
01:31:13 |
This PowerBar's really working. |
01:31:15 |
I feel stronger. |
01:31:18 |
I feel fatter. |
01:31:19 |
Well, what do you want me to do? |
01:31:21 |
Come on. Do me this one favor. |
01:31:26 |
That was perfect! |
01:31:29 |
All right. We need to learn |
01:31:32 |
You ready? Let me go first. |
01:31:35 |
- All right? |
01:31:50 |
Block out the pain. |
01:31:52 |
Remember what that douche bag |
01:31:54 |
- Mind over pain! |
01:31:57 |
All right. Hit me in the chest. |
01:32:02 |
Jeez! |
01:32:05 |
- Your knuckles are all bone! |
01:32:07 |
We get to call how hard |
01:32:09 |
All right. Ten being the hardest, |
01:32:13 |
Five. In the back. In the back. |
01:32:20 |
Oh, God! |
01:32:21 |
Wonder what it feels like getting hit |
01:32:28 |
Jeez! |
01:32:31 |
- All right, new rules! |
01:32:33 |
I'm not gonna tell you |
01:32:34 |
- No, I don't like that rule. |
01:32:35 |
- No, it's not good. |
01:32:37 |
- Trust me. |
01:32:44 |
I can't see this coming. |
01:32:45 |
There's no way Wade can hurt me. |
01:32:49 |
Not balls! |
01:32:51 |
You hit me in the nuts! |
01:32:55 |
Dear Mom, if you're reading this, |
01:32:59 |
it's very possible that I'm dead. |
01:33:04 |
If I don't survive, you should definitely |
01:33:09 |
P.S. Sorry I let your silver platter |
01:33:13 |
My raps and rhymes will become |
01:33:15 |
You're free to sell them |
01:33:22 |
Remember the plan. |
01:33:25 |
You go for the head. I'll go for the nuts. |
01:34:10 |
It actually looks like a pretty cool party. |
01:34:16 |
Oh! Hey, guys. |
01:34:17 |
So, how does it feel to know |
01:34:22 |
- Where's Filkins? |
01:34:28 |
In case we don't make it, |
01:34:32 |
- I don't want to have any regrets. |
01:34:36 |
Face! |
01:34:40 |
I've already got the first hit |
01:34:43 |
Let's get some. |
01:35:00 |
Hey! Hey, hey. Everybody, everybody! |
01:35:03 |
These kids actually came! |
01:35:04 |
These are the Siamese queers |
01:35:08 |
They showed up! |
01:35:11 |
I hate when he calls me that. |
01:35:13 |
So we're gonna have a good time! |
01:35:24 |
It worked. |
01:35:27 |
- It's over! |
01:35:29 |
- We did it, we did it! |
01:35:31 |
Everybody, from ninth grade |
01:35:35 |
I promise you, |
01:35:39 |
I proclaim it! |
01:35:44 |
And he's getting up! |
01:35:47 |
You're dead. |
01:35:49 |
And I'm in big trouble! |
01:36:05 |
Catch me off guard? |
01:36:09 |
My father loved those stairs! |
01:36:16 |
You blocking out the pain? |
01:36:17 |
I thought I was for a second, |
01:36:20 |
You want to play? |
01:36:22 |
Let's play. |
01:36:40 |
Get up, get up, get up! Come on, Ryan. |
01:36:44 |
You're like, super-hot. |
01:36:48 |
- Ronnie! You're missing out. |
01:36:52 |
Hey, boys! |
01:36:58 |
Yo, Jay, give me some murder music. |
01:37:01 |
This just gets better and better. |
01:37:11 |
All right! |
01:37:14 |
Hey, yo, yo. Back off. |
01:37:16 |
I want to fight both these bitches. |
01:37:19 |
They're yours, Filk! |
01:37:23 |
- You're the bitch! |
01:37:30 |
That's right! |
01:37:33 |
What the... |
01:37:36 |
- Emmit's got game! |
01:37:42 |
- Good one, Ron! |
01:37:46 |
Bear hug! |
01:37:48 |
- Come on! |
01:37:59 |
I have reach! I have reach! |
01:38:05 |
Come on, Wade! |
01:38:10 |
- I can't breathe! I can't breathe! |
01:38:14 |
I won't hurt you! You should let go! |
01:38:17 |
I'll let you go. |
01:38:22 |
- I have reach! |
01:38:28 |
Hey! Hey, there. Hey... |
01:38:31 |
- Didn't hurt! |
01:38:33 |
Yeah. |
01:38:34 |
Okay, that did. |
01:38:38 |
Let that kid go. |
01:38:45 |
Private Drillbit Taylor reporting for duty! |
01:38:48 |
- Hoo-rah. |
01:38:51 |
- Yeah. |
01:38:54 |
What, you need more money |
01:38:56 |
No. But this fight is over! |
01:39:00 |
You hear me? Abierto! |
01:39:05 |
Done. |
01:39:07 |
It's over, people! Pack it up! Go home! |
01:39:10 |
Look. You're a young man. You got... |
01:39:18 |
And it's really freaking me out right now. |
01:39:24 |
Nice punch. |
01:39:26 |
I try to be reasonable, |
01:39:30 |
these boys hired me as their bodyguard |
01:39:40 |
Want to hear something crazy? |
01:39:41 |
Deep inside you, |
01:39:46 |
God damn it, |
01:39:50 |
Come on, Drillbit. Kick his ass. |
01:39:52 |
- I can't! He's a minor! |
01:39:57 |
You're 18? |
01:40:05 |
That's it. |
01:40:16 |
Drillbit! |
01:40:19 |
How old are you? |
01:40:20 |
Okay! All right, I'm 17. I'm a minor. |
01:40:23 |
- My mom drives me to school. |
01:40:24 |
I swear to God! |
01:40:26 |
That was awesome. |
01:40:27 |
Man, Drillbit, you're badass. |
01:40:30 |
I don't think I could do that again. |
01:40:33 |
It's weird. I guess it's like |
01:40:35 |
when a mother |
01:40:38 |
- Yeah. |
01:40:40 |
That's the only way I can explain it. |
01:40:41 |
Adrenaline. That's the word for it. |
01:40:44 |
My hands are... |
01:40:48 |
- Thanks for coming back. |
01:40:51 |
I'm not gonna go AWOL on you boys. |
01:40:53 |
I made that mistake one... |
01:40:55 |
Crap on a shit sandwich! |
01:41:00 |
Bye, Drillbit! |
01:41:01 |
Hey, fags! |
01:41:04 |
This ain't over! |
01:41:17 |
- He feels no pain. |
01:41:23 |
Was that my pinky? |
01:41:28 |
- Are you okay? |
01:41:31 |
You okay? |
01:41:32 |
- I'm so sorry. |
01:41:33 |
- I lost it. No, no. |
01:41:35 |
- I lost it. |
01:41:39 |
No, it's okay. I'm blocking the pain. |
01:41:41 |
I can't block this pain. |
01:41:43 |
It's not bad. Here, help me find it |
01:41:45 |
- before the ants get it. |
01:41:46 |
- Look in the grass. |
01:41:48 |
Help me, guys! |
01:41:49 |
See it? Look over there. |
01:41:51 |
- Is that it? |
01:41:52 |
Hey, guys, I found it! |
01:41:56 |
No! |
01:41:58 |
We found it. |
01:42:01 |
Get me some ice. |
01:42:02 |
- Ice! |
01:42:03 |
Margarita all right? |
01:42:04 |
Oh, my God. |
01:42:06 |
Bro! |
01:42:07 |
Come on, buddy. |
01:42:09 |
- All right, let's go. |
01:42:11 |
It's gonna be okay. |
01:42:13 |
Congratulations, boys. |
01:42:16 |
Fantastic. No alcohol in the car, sir. |
01:42:19 |
Oh, yeah. |
01:42:25 |
Hoo-rah. |
01:42:28 |
- Yo, dudes, that was awesome! |
01:42:31 |
Man, you have no idea how long kids |
01:42:33 |
- Thanks. |
01:42:34 |
for sure! |
01:42:36 |
I am so glad |
01:42:39 |
Hey. |
01:42:40 |
He was amazing. |
01:42:42 |
You know, |
01:42:44 |
You know, he's threatened me |
01:42:46 |
I'm just tired of being scared, you know? |
01:42:48 |
- Hey, are you okay? |
01:42:54 |
When the adrenaline rush passes, |
01:42:59 |
I don't want you to think I'm the kind of |
01:43:02 |
with violence, |
01:43:07 |
That was very brave of you. |
01:43:20 |
You know, Emmit, |
01:43:24 |
You, my friend, are one crazy |
01:43:29 |
You have no idea how scared I was. |
01:43:31 |
All right. Now, let's go get |
01:43:38 |
Dear Wade, Ryan and little, tiny Emmit. |
01:43:41 |
Thanks for sending the Cap'n Crunch. |
01:43:44 |
Suddenly, I'm very popular in here. |
01:43:46 |
Hey, Bob. Give me some of that Cap'n |
01:43:53 |
Just kidding. |
01:43:56 |
I was glad to read |
01:43:59 |
that Filkins was shipped off |
01:44:03 |
to be with his parents for breaking |
01:44:07 |
Now maybe high school can be |
01:44:10 |
- instead of sucking rat nads. |
01:44:13 |
- Yeah! |
01:44:15 |
As for me, every time I look |
01:44:19 |
I think of you boys |
01:44:22 |
It's kind of cool. |
01:44:24 |
Luckily, they have |
01:44:26 |
and they say I should |
01:44:28 |
which excites me a great deal. |
01:44:30 |
And speaking of exciting me |
01:44:33 |
Miss Zachey and I |
01:44:35 |
I don't know why women dig |
01:44:39 |
On top of that, all I can say is, |
01:44:43 |
and will see you when I get out. |
01:44:45 |
Which, thanks to the currently lenient |
01:44:49 |
deserting laws is in two days from now, |
01:44:52 |
officially satisfying |
01:44:55 |
- Your brother, Bob Taylor. |
01:44:58 |
- AKA Drillbit. |
01:45:01 |
AKA, Alamo Taylor. |
01:45:04 |
I still like the sound of that. |
01:45:10 |
There you are! |
01:45:13 |
- Drillbit! |
01:45:14 |
- Oh, my God. |
01:45:16 |
Come on, get in here! |
01:45:17 |
- He's a free man! |
01:45:20 |
Give me a hug. Yeah. |
01:45:22 |
Well, that's gonna keep me smiling |
01:45:25 |
Yeah, that's my buddy, Drillbit. |
01:45:26 |
He's a cool guy. |
01:45:28 |
This has been the longest |
01:45:29 |
I missed you, too. |
01:45:32 |
- Feels good. |
01:45:33 |
- It wasn't that bad. |
01:45:35 |
You know, the guy in the next cell taught |
01:45:38 |
Did you know abierto means "open"? |
01:49:35 |
Help! I'm bleeding! |
01:49:38 |
Come here, soldier. |
01:49:42 |
Come here. Jump up there. |
01:49:44 |
You got a little bloody nose. |
01:49:50 |
- What happened? |
01:49:54 |
Tell me his name. Names. |
01:50:59 |
Subtitles by LeapinLar |