Dukes of Hazzard The Beginning The

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00:00:06 In Hazzard County
00:00:09 Most are made up or embellished.
00:00:11 Like the time I told everybody in town
00:00:16 when really it was just two slow kids
00:00:20 These legends become a part of us.
00:00:23 They show who we are
00:00:26 Now, I know you've heard of few
00:00:30 But this one, the smallest child in Hazzard
00:00:32 can rattle it off
00:00:36 This here's how it all started.
00:00:38 This is how Bo and Luke
00:00:49 Bo Duke. Your average 16-year-old
00:00:54 Shopping cart! Shopping cart!
00:00:58 Maybe the seventh time will be the charm.
00:01:04 Calling all units. In pursuit of
00:01:08 possible hostage situation.
00:01:10 Yeah, Bo Duke.
00:01:14 Yeah. He'll be stringed off.
00:01:16 As is.
00:01:25 Excuse me. Pardon me. Coming through.
00:01:28 Sorry about that. Kind of hard
00:01:32 In case you can't already tell,
00:01:37 He's 99% instinct and 1% brains.
00:01:40 And that's on a good day.
00:01:41 - I can jump it.
00:01:43 - No.
00:01:52 - That fool's crazy. I'm out of here.
00:01:59 No, Bo, you sure as shit didn't,
00:02:02 and I hear that's fun.
00:02:07 You might think Bo was
00:02:10 but four counties over, there was
00:02:14 his cousin, Luke Duke.
00:02:16 This poor green pup thought
00:02:18 that the way to a woman's heart
00:02:20 Someday Luke will learn
00:02:22 he was focused on the wrong kind of bang.
00:02:25 She's a classy kid. Real lady.
00:02:28 Forget about her, Luke.
00:02:30 Let me show you your future
00:02:33 I'm sorry, psychic whore,
00:02:37 And it's with Debbie Sue.
00:02:40 - Hey, are you ready?
00:02:45 X 90 Armageddons,
00:02:48 Nasty Napalmers that'll
00:02:50 blow off her silky golden hair,
00:02:54 and open up her heart.
00:02:56 - And she knows this stuff is coming?
00:03:00 Come on, let's go.
00:03:01 She will after tonight.
00:03:04 Hey, Luke,
00:03:05 looks like your princess
00:03:10 Sometimes you get so darn busy
00:03:13 that you take your eyes off the prize,
00:03:15 or maybe even blow the prize up.
00:03:20 Oh, shit.
00:03:31 I reckon Luke never planned on
00:03:36 Twenty injuries, 15 grand in damage,
00:03:39 and Debbie Sue still doesn't know
00:03:41 Better luck next time, Romeo.
00:03:44 - Get up, get up.
00:03:47 Bo's parents and Luke's parents
00:03:50 that the boys' salvation lay in a summer
00:03:55 a taste of the simple life.
00:03:57 Simple life. That's a good one.
00:04:01 Hazzard County.
00:04:04 Damn.
00:04:12 - What's so funny, Goldilocks?
00:04:17 Monkeys dressed as humans, and
00:04:22 How would like to spend
00:04:25 Show me the way.
00:04:31 Hey, hey. Hey, guys. Nice to see
00:04:36 - Bo?
00:04:40 Welcome to Hazzard.
00:04:42 - Thanks, Uncle Jesse.
00:04:45 Oh, I'll take the brunette,
00:04:48 Man, this J.D. Hogg
00:04:50 He's got a lot to smile about.
00:04:53 I knew him back
00:04:55 I think he smiled when he did that.
00:04:57 He ain't a bad guy,
00:04:59 Oh, my goodness,
00:05:03 Corals and cocktails, coz.
00:05:06 Yeah.
00:05:07 Keep the garden hoses
00:05:10 Lot of fun to water the lawn,
00:05:11 but then you got to feed the flowers
00:05:15 - Same old truck.
00:05:27 Hey, Ab.
00:05:36 Come on, already.
00:05:40 Only running he's done is against J.D.
00:05:43 How you doing, Ab?
00:05:45 Got your medicine for you, old buddy.
00:05:47 Reach in there and grab you two
00:05:57 I hear you, buddy. See you next week.
00:06:01 That's his medicine?
00:06:03 Well, he's 112 years old.
00:06:07 He's got scurvy, malaria, rickets,
00:06:12 Come on, let's go see Daisy.
00:06:14 - Shotgun.
00:06:16 Get in first.
00:06:20 - Whoa.
00:06:26 You ever wanna find
00:06:29 go 10 blocks past sanity
00:06:33 Hang on there, Jesse.
00:06:34 Can't miss him.
00:06:35 Ordinance 733. Hound dogs have
00:06:40 That's great detective work, Rosco.
00:06:43 Maybe lipping off
00:06:46 - Blue Jeans and Bongo Drums.
00:06:49 Now was I talking to you, there,
00:06:52 Ain't you got nothing better to do?
00:06:55 Well, maybe I could stuff you
00:07:00 And you could collect
00:07:03 Now, you all just mind yourself.
00:07:05 'Cause this here
00:07:10 I'll send you straight to hell
00:07:13 Come on, kid.
00:07:16 Old Rosco ain't never fired that gun,
00:07:19 Let's don't give him one.
00:07:26 Oh, man, pigtails. I love pigtails.
00:07:35 Daisy'll introduce us to the hot locals.
00:07:38 - So we can tag some wild game.
00:07:40 And then you can stop beating off
00:07:46 Hey, guys. Hey.
00:07:48 Daisy Duke.
00:07:49 You can't see it yet, but there's a woman
00:07:53 like an alien invader.
00:07:54 I promised her folks I wouldn't let her date
00:07:58 And she's turning some heads.
00:08:01 What kind of heads is she turning?
00:08:03 And never far behind, Enos Strate.
00:08:05 He likes to hover waiting
00:08:09 Look at you.
00:08:12 Oh, hey, Daisy.
00:08:13 Y'all are cuter than boxing gloves
00:08:16 - Hi, Uncle Jesse.
00:08:19 Well, Pastor Phil says,
00:08:22 so all us girls in class, we signed this oath
00:08:25 saying we won't have sex until marriage.
00:08:28 These are all the things we can't do.
00:08:31 Anyway, me and the girls are
00:08:34 - All the girls signed this?
00:08:37 Can't wait to be a virgin again.
00:08:40 Luke, honey, you crying?
00:08:44 Just happy to see you, Daisy.
00:08:49 The Lord loves y'all.
00:08:50 He just wants you to know he'll be
00:08:54 Right. This is gonna be
00:09:01 You know what we should be doing
00:09:04 Should be blowin' this shit up.
00:09:05 Hey, you know you can make
00:09:07 Whoa! What are you doing?
00:09:09 - I'm going fast, so I can get done.
00:09:14 Okay, truce. Jeez.
00:09:16 Wash up. Come on in for supper.
00:09:20 And you can finish shoveling that manure
00:09:23 Then we're done?
00:09:24 Then you got to go down by the road
00:09:27 feed the chickens and bale some hay.
00:09:29 So, we work, what, all the time?
00:09:33 No, well, not all the time.
00:09:36 And remember,
00:09:45 God!
00:09:51 Nothing like a good day's rest
00:09:56 Unless, of course,
00:10:13 Vintage Luke Duke.
00:10:16 Sneaking off without me again?
00:10:19 What's that supposed to mean?
00:10:21 I'm 10, you're 11. The nurses' school.
00:10:26 The nurses.
00:10:30 You wanted to map it out, draw
00:10:34 but I convinced you.
00:10:36 What did you see?
00:10:38 I saw boobies.
00:10:41 Big boobies, little boobies,
00:10:44 classy boobies, I saw a feast of boobies.
00:10:48 The Thanksgiving Day Parade of boobies.
00:10:52 And did you thank me?
00:10:55 Thank you.
00:10:57 No, you heard someone coming
00:11:01 I've had a lifetime of boobies.
00:11:03 But I will never, ever forget
00:11:08 Six years ago, all right? I was a little kid.
00:11:21 Sweet ride.
00:11:27 Uncle Jesse's friends with a pimp?
00:11:30 Boss Hogg.
00:11:32 - That man knows how to live.
00:11:34 Money, power, probably got a hot wife.
00:11:37 Definitely no farmer.
00:11:39 Yeah.
00:11:40 The Boar's Nest is kicking! It's
00:11:44 - Here you go, darling.
00:11:45 I'm going in.
00:11:47 Bo, don't... Bo!
00:11:51 Boys.
00:11:53 Hi, fellas.
00:11:54 - What is this place?
00:11:58 But four slices of a sex pie
00:12:04 I think they need a little scoop of Bo
00:12:08 Whoa! Where do you think
00:12:12 We're with them.
00:12:17 Okay. Thank you.
00:12:19 Nice sleeves.
00:12:22 No place for minors
00:12:25 - There's got to be another way in.
00:12:28 - Whoa, ladies.
00:12:30 - Well, what have we got here?
00:12:32 - Okay.
00:12:35 Hello, folks, how you doing?
00:12:37 How are you doing?
00:12:39 - How y'all doing?
00:12:41 Not gonna take that.
00:12:44 - Look at that.
00:12:46 J.D. Hogg is in the house.
00:12:48 Hey, now,
00:12:51 Hey.
00:12:53 Hey, hey, hey. You wanna piece of him,
00:13:01 It's locked.
00:13:03 - I'm going this way.
00:13:09 Boss Hogg's prize boar Dainty.
00:13:12 Three time state champ
00:13:15 after his wife Lulu.
00:13:18 It's Hogg's hog.
00:13:22 Stay. Sit.
00:13:30 - So, how's Lulu?
00:13:32 My wife's got a jewelry habit that'd
00:13:36 Lucky you're the richest guy
00:13:39 Yeah. It's good enough
00:13:41 But what about the future?
00:13:42 Governor Hogg.
00:13:47 - Well, I ain't much into politics.
00:13:56 Seems my temporary blindness
00:13:59 - should be worth more like 10%.
00:14:02 - Undying friendship.
00:14:06 But I'm thinking more like 25%.
00:14:08 Well, I ain't making a lot of money
00:14:11 I'm paying a few bills,
00:14:13 Which brings me to my next proposal.
00:14:15 It's high time we expand
00:14:18 I ain't selling no broads.
00:14:21 - That's good.
00:14:23 Yeah. No, I'm talking
00:14:25 I can't afford to go to jail.
00:14:29 You're thinking small, Jesse.
00:14:32 Rich as rich, chocolatey Ovaltine.
00:14:37 I really don't think it's right that
00:14:41 - It's kind of like bribery, don't you think?
00:14:45 What the hell you think
00:14:47 selling cotton candy to nuns?
00:14:49 One way or the other,
00:14:51 You got two weeks, then I'm sending
00:14:55 No more slipping on payments.
00:15:01 - Hey, where did she go?
00:15:03 Who?
00:15:05 Come on, we'll save you, Dainty.
00:15:08 Hang on, girl.
00:15:10 Come on.
00:15:14 No, no. Hold on. Come on.
00:15:18 Oh, no.
00:15:23 - Would you pull, Bo?
00:15:35 Dainty!
00:15:42 Dainty!
00:15:46 Did you meet my nephews over there,
00:15:49 Y'all better pray my girl survives.
00:15:54 Two weeks and your farm is mine.
00:15:56 Dukes have been living and dying
00:16:00 Great Grandpa Duke built this
00:16:03 My pa died sitting in that chair
00:16:07 Shat himself
00:16:09 God rest his soul.
00:16:12 Hell, I was born right here on this table.
00:16:14 Mama's water broke, I popped out there
00:16:21 I can't lose my home.
00:16:23 Look, I'll get a job at the Boar's Nest.
00:16:25 And I'll crack open some shine
00:16:28 Can't wait for that tasty beverage.
00:16:30 You ain't never drinking that shine.
00:16:32 Now, J.D.'s mad.
00:16:33 And that stunt y'all pulled
00:16:37 And he's gonna collect.
00:16:38 And I couldn't make enough shine
00:16:40 and still have time to run it
00:16:46 No. But we could.
00:16:50 Hell, yeah. We could run it.
00:16:52 Us working together,
00:16:55 No, your folks sent y'all down here
00:16:57 not to be shine runners.
00:16:58 And if you get throwed in jail,
00:17:01 Listen, Uncle Jesse.
00:17:03 All we have is two weeks.
00:17:05 - If we sell enough...
00:17:09 You don't have to worry
00:17:11 We're Dukes. This is our farm, too.
00:17:13 - And no one's taking it from us.
00:17:18 All we need is...
00:17:21 - A fast car.
00:17:27 There's an old saying
00:17:30 begins with a single step.
00:17:32 Sometimes those steps can be blocked
00:17:37 - Hello, tiny girls.
00:17:41 Have any of you adorable little tykes seen
00:17:45 high performance, V-8 engine
00:17:49 Look, we're 9, what do you want from us?
00:17:51 Oh, that's it. Come here. Come here.
00:17:54 Oh, you hide behind those pigtails
00:17:57 Man, that guy's an idiot.
00:18:02 She ain't worth it.
00:18:04 Yeah. She's lucky you won't beat up
00:18:06 She's lucky I got standards.
00:18:10 A gasoline bomb just detonated
00:18:14 - Who are they?
00:18:17 Brooke and Ali. Look, those girls
00:18:22 - Stay away.
00:18:24 Definitely gonna stay away
00:18:26 Sound advice. I'm gonna go talk to them.
00:18:29 Who needs to talk when you got
00:18:32 - Bo, let me talk to them.
00:18:34 - Talk.
00:18:43 Hello, up there.
00:18:44 - Hey, y'all.
00:18:46 Yeah. I'm Luke. Cousin Bo.
00:18:49 - Charmed.
00:18:52 Thanks.
00:18:55 That is awesome.
00:18:57 Fellas.
00:19:00 We gotta go.
00:19:03 We do?
00:19:04 We do. It was nice chatting with you.
00:19:09 Come on.
00:19:11 So, they set out to find the perfect car.
00:19:14 Starting at the high school,
00:19:17 and the real meaning of third base.
00:19:19 There's only one guy I know
00:19:22 Are sure, Daisy? I mean, we need
00:19:26 They might cut home economics
00:19:29 but there's always room in the budget
00:19:32 How come boys never notice me?
00:19:34 'Cause you're dressed like a lady golfer
00:19:38 No, he's kidding. You're more of
00:19:41 So, where is this engine whiz
00:19:44 Somebody call my name?
00:19:49 Hey. Hey.
00:19:52 - Daisy Duke.
00:19:54 These are my cousins, Bo and Luke.
00:19:57 Pleasure to meet you,
00:20:00 Just nicknames. Take 'em or leave 'em.
00:20:04 My stars. That is real nice.
00:20:07 Hey, I'll bet that breathes real good,
00:20:10 - Are you the shop teacher?
00:20:13 - Daisy tells us you know cars.
00:20:16 Look at this baby.
00:20:18 Math and history? No.
00:20:20 A high school diploma remains
00:20:24 Lord willing and the creek don't rise,
00:20:28 There's still much work to be done here.
00:20:31 - We need something reliable.
00:20:35 Speed I can do.
00:20:37 My trademark? Horns.
00:20:48 That song needs work.
00:20:49 Okay, you want something
00:20:53 What do you say,
00:20:55 Well, shit. I'll try anything once.
00:20:58 Except guy-on-guy. I'm just kidding.
00:21:01 I'd try that.
00:21:03 All right. Come on.
00:21:12 Watch out. Watch your back.
00:21:15 Excuse me. Pardon me.
00:21:19 - Whoa!
00:21:21 Coming through. Bo Duke.
00:21:25 You're gonna kill us, Bo.
00:21:27 Here's a little reminder that we live
00:21:32 Oh, man.
00:21:33 Hello, ladies.
00:21:34 Oh, you missed a spot.
00:21:39 Hey!
00:21:46 Please don't touch that!
00:21:49 Get back and help me.
00:21:56 Bo, you can't go there.
00:21:59 You can't be driving
00:22:01 Slow down. Pull that thing over.
00:22:05 Oh, no. Oh, man.
00:22:10 - Well, I could jump it.
00:22:13 Her. It.
00:22:14 Whatever. I can jump it.
00:22:24 Hot damn.
00:22:25 I ain't seen moves like that since a tornado
00:22:29 and ended the evolution debate
00:22:33 - Hey, Enos.
00:22:35 - Are you mixed up with them?
00:22:39 topped with vinaigrette and pecans.
00:22:42 - Hi, Enos.
00:22:44 Looks like you got manhandled.
00:22:47 Actually, it was the JV cheerleading
00:22:51 Listen, Enos. My cousins are new in town.
00:22:54 Maybe, as my friend, you can let them go.
00:22:57 Oh, sure, Daisy. For you.
00:23:01 Let's get you back together.
00:23:03 They don't teach you about cheerleaders
00:23:08 I'd say you can handle that engine, Cooter.
00:23:09 Yeah?
00:23:11 Now all we need is the perfect body.
00:23:14 Boys, I feel like I've been failing
00:23:18 Come on. I know a place. Hop in.
00:23:22 The county junkyard.
00:23:24 Yep. You might see
00:23:26 but these boys see warm dollops of clay
00:23:37 What are you looking for, Buddha?
00:23:40 My gut is gonna tell me
00:23:44 All right, don't question me on this
00:23:47 All right, who told you that, huh?
00:23:48 I want names, addresses, phone numbers,
00:23:51 'Cause I've slept
00:23:53 Oh, well, that's smart in this day and age.
00:23:55 Well, we're all virgins
00:23:58 Well, that's good. Except I ain't a virgin.
00:24:00 Virginity ain't a crime, now.
00:24:03 Except in the State of Bo.
00:24:06 Watch this.
00:24:13 I'm okay.
00:24:16 What's with sliding across the hood.
00:24:20 Why would I waste my time
00:24:25 Think, Luke.
00:24:27 I'm the good-looking one.
00:24:30 I know the right car is here somewhere.
00:24:34 Bo.
00:24:38 I admire his passion, but that boy is crazy.
00:24:43 Well, what do you say we call it a day?
00:24:46 Go cool off. Get some smoothies.
00:24:49 - All right.
00:24:53 Boys, welcome to Hogg's Ravine.
00:24:57 - Is there anything Hogg doesn't own?
00:25:00 But one day,
00:25:03 Cooter's Garage.
00:25:06 It'll have my name on it.
00:25:09 Hey, what's on the other side
00:25:11 Factory for Hogg's ice cream.
00:25:14 - Hogg makes ice cream?
00:25:17 but I heard
00:25:21 Anyway, no one's allowed over there.
00:25:25 Boss is very protective of his recipe.
00:25:28 Hey, boys.
00:25:33 Sunny-side up or over easy?
00:25:37 I've always been a breast man.
00:25:38 Okay, you take the rack, I'll take the back.
00:25:41 Watch and learn, Luke. Watch and learn.
00:25:49 Ladies, do me.
00:25:55 Hey, girls, watch me.
00:25:59 - Why you got to go and do that?
00:26:01 - Anybody ever dive in there?
00:26:15 I'll be dipped.
00:26:18 You said people dive in here all the time.
00:26:21 Oh, no, hell, no.
00:26:24 Most of the time they end up crippled or
00:26:26 - on life support or brain damaged.
00:26:28 Just depends.
00:26:30 Oh, man. I'm coming for you, Luke.
00:26:50 Come on. Don't die on me, now.
00:26:52 You'd think Bo'd be under water
00:26:56 But it's hard to think
00:26:58 when you've found a sunken treasure.
00:27:04 Breathe.
00:27:10 Score one for Cooter.
00:27:11 There is a car down there.
00:27:13 Thanks for saving me, Bo.
00:27:41 It's a '69 Dodge Charger.
00:27:44 Well, I'll be mud on a frog's back.
00:27:47 Hey, back in my pop's day, they used to
00:27:51 Some stupid son of a bitch tried.
00:27:53 - Sounds like he didn't make it.
00:27:56 Car must not be that hot, neither.
00:27:59 No. That is the car. I can feel it.
00:28:06 It just hasn't found the right driver yet.
00:28:23 It's from the Civil War.
00:29:30 What's your lucky number, Bo?
00:29:34 One.
00:29:48 Ain't that just about
00:29:52 That car kicks so much ass
00:29:58 - Why you gotta go and do that?
00:30:02 You sure you don't want me
00:30:05 - No.
00:30:10 - Ready, coz?
00:30:13 All right, boys, listen.
00:30:16 That's mechanic talk.
00:30:18 This car, well, it's got enough parts,
00:30:23 All right? Break it in nice and easy.
00:30:27 Race you.
00:30:42 Go, Bo!
00:30:45 I'm not gonna see that car for a while,
00:30:46 I don't think so.
00:31:10 Oh, my goodness.
00:31:13 I wanna paint. I wanna sail.
00:31:16 I wanna help old people and children.
00:31:19 But most of all, I wanna drive this car
00:31:23 Oh, my God.
00:31:26 Bo just discovered religion and Cooter.
00:31:30 Cooter, you're his prophet.
00:31:33 - Thank you. Thank you.
00:31:36 I promised myself I wouldn't cry today.
00:31:38 Look at me.
00:31:40 You're an honorary Duke now, Cooter.
00:31:43 You know, when I was a Ridge Runner
00:31:45 moving shine and leaving them cops
00:31:47 we used to name our cars after generals.
00:31:51 Oh, well, then, this should be named
00:31:57 General Lee.
00:32:02 You know, running shine is a lot
00:32:05 with your thumb 12 ways.
00:32:07 It ain't really that hard
00:32:09 but you got to practice at it.
00:32:10 You can kill a man with your thumb?
00:32:13 Forget that part.
00:32:15 It's more than just speed out here.
00:32:18 Been going over this map of Hazzard.
00:32:21 - I think I got our routes figured out.
00:32:23 But you got to improvise.
00:32:25 Unforeseen circumstances come up
00:32:30 Best advice I ever had was
00:32:33 - old "Three Nipples" Ned.
00:32:37 No, he really had four,
00:32:40 So he told us on his death bed,
00:32:43 - He said, "Don't get caught."
00:32:48 No, actually it was Emmy Lou Hassett.
00:32:52 That's another thing
00:32:54 If you don't want your pecker
00:32:56 you better wear a rubber.
00:32:58 Uncle Jesse, don't you think
00:33:01 - for our customers' sake?
00:33:04 I mean, people might have questions.
00:33:06 I don't think y'all's folks want y'all
00:33:09 Time to baptize the General. Come on.
00:33:28 For a week those boys tore
00:33:31 making stops for every teacher,
00:33:43 Bo and Luke became the fastest
00:34:36 Holy water.
00:34:41 Thank you.
00:34:50 So things were tasting sweeter
00:34:52 than applejack in a honeydew melon
00:34:55 But remember,
00:34:58 and she'd be damned
00:35:03 Well, a new face in Hazzard.
00:35:06 Now, I'll tell you city folk
00:35:08 but this was a flavor
00:35:11 Excuse me.
00:35:13 Oh, I'm so sorry.
00:35:14 I just want to see about a waitressing job.
00:35:17 Look, don't worry.
00:35:21 Look.
00:35:24 I'm not trying to be rude,
00:35:29 for the Nest.
00:35:31 These girls are tough, confident.
00:35:37 Oh, right.
00:35:40 Hey.
00:35:42 Her interviewing skills
00:35:45 Thank you.
00:35:46 But she accomplished one thing.
00:35:52 Daisy?
00:35:55 I just acted like a fool in front of the most
00:35:58 ever to come to Hazzard.
00:36:01 But I just got here.
00:36:03 Ladies, hello.
00:36:07 - Ladies.
00:36:10 Brooke! Ali!
00:36:11 Ladies! How you doing?
00:36:15 - Cooter.
00:36:18 - Let's make a toast.
00:36:22 To waking up in Chickasaw
00:36:24 in the strong protective arms
00:36:29 What a night!
00:36:36 We're gonna go.
00:36:38 Yeah, we're teaching erotic dance
00:36:40 And we're late. Sorry.
00:36:44 - Don't go!
00:36:47 - Thanks a lot, Cooter.
00:36:56 Sorry.
00:36:59 You guys came in
00:37:06 The General Lee.
00:37:07 Hi, I'm Hughie, the new manager.
00:37:13 Yeah.
00:37:18 I thought you'd like some Hogg d'oeuvres
00:37:21 Those Boss Hoggs in a blanket
00:37:26 Yes, they are.
00:37:29 So I got to say, you guys have
00:37:34 Yeah, two things I can't live without.
00:37:39 and my cellphone.
00:37:41 Except I can't get any reception
00:37:43 - How do you guys survive?
00:37:51 A CB.
00:37:56 Well, I have to get back to work,
00:38:00 if you guys know
00:38:02 - Oh, yeah, we know lots to do.
00:38:06 Well, I'll see you guys around.
00:38:09 Sorry, guys. Boss told me
00:38:14 Folks, Hazzard's sick. What's the cause?
00:38:19 Greedy shiners like these two
00:38:22 selling their liquid fire
00:38:25 Come on.
00:38:26 Now let this be a warning
00:38:28 My deputies will find you,
00:38:32 and they'll send you back to hell.
00:38:39 I ain't done yet!
00:38:41 Earlier today I declared Hazzard
00:38:46 who uncovers a moonshine operation
00:38:49 will collect a handsome $25,000 reward.
00:38:56 Okay.
00:38:57 Now to show my level of commitment,
00:38:59 I'm turning my own Boar's Nest
00:39:03 Yummy, huh?
00:39:06 That's good eating, right there.
00:39:09 Let this be known, that together
00:39:13 we can all live high on the Hogg.
00:39:20 How do you like my Hoggettes?
00:39:23 Thank you.
00:39:30 I can't believe
00:39:33 - You worried?
00:39:35 The General Lee comes equipped
00:39:37 We got the fastest car in 37 counties.
00:39:40 - Well, well, well.
00:39:43 We just saw you on TV.
00:39:46 You really do. Hey, Flash.
00:39:48 Don't you touch Flash, you deviant. Hey!
00:39:50 You know I got
00:39:53 in the back of my squad car,
00:39:56 Where is that shine-selling uncle of yours?
00:39:58 You know, you're much better-looking
00:40:01 Delicate. TV hides
00:40:04 Now, I didn't come over here
00:40:08 I know how pretty I am.
00:40:11 Now you open up the General Lee
00:40:14 Come on, move.
00:40:16 That's why they call me the rattlesnake,
00:40:18 - 'Cause when I sense trouble, I strike.
00:40:21 Figures old Rosco'd leave the keys
00:40:24 Go, go, go.
00:40:25 He's dumb as a screen door
00:40:28 That's a real fancy car you got here,
00:40:31 Almost make you seem like a real sheriff.
00:40:34 Well, thank you for... Wait a minute.
00:40:36 I am the real sheriff here.
00:40:40 - Who did you run against?
00:40:43 'cause no one was man enough
00:40:46 Now you get this rig popped open
00:40:49 like a little tiny Chinese toy box... Hey!
00:40:52 They gave you a real gun, Rosco.
00:40:55 Hey, don't you touch that.
00:40:57 Don't touch my puppy. Don't touch her.
00:41:00 - Hey, my bullets! What...
00:41:05 - Hey, there.
00:41:06 Don't rub it on your leg like that.
00:41:07 We got chores to do, Rosco.
00:41:11 No, no, this is an unacceptable...
00:41:14 Yeah, I got to get that door fixed, Rosco.
00:41:17 - See you next time.
00:41:19 - Hey!
00:41:22 Maybe next time you can chase us
00:41:25 You let them go, little Flash honey.
00:41:29 Don't you burn rubber on me!
00:41:35 Hey! Hey, now...
00:41:39 Hey, this is Rosco.
00:41:45 Looks like y'all were right, boys.
00:41:49 J.D. had Rosco run off all our customers.
00:41:52 Ain't right, them scaring people.
00:41:54 Well, this is getting way too dangerous.
00:41:56 - That could be y'all in jail, or even worse.
00:42:00 I'm not about to send y'all home
00:42:03 and this farm ain't worth saving
00:42:06 - There's got to be something we can do.
00:42:10 I got a couple of suits at home
00:42:12 What do you say we pay old J.D. a visit?
00:42:30 Oh, my gosh. You boys look like
00:42:34 Thanks, Daisy. What're you doing?
00:42:36 Hughie ain't rejecting me again.
00:42:50 Hot enough for you, Hughie?
00:43:38 What's the point? I should be a nun.
00:43:42 Doesn't Daisy look mighty discouraged?
00:43:45 But some lessons
00:43:47 You leave a spark alone
00:43:50 in the middle of a raging inferno.
00:44:01 So while one Duke is on a quest
00:44:05 the other Dukes are about to get
00:44:07 by a first-class culinary experience
00:44:12 So, you boys ever roasted a turkey before?
00:44:15 - No, Miss Hogg.
00:44:20 It's Arabic for pearl.
00:44:25 Open a clam, spread the fleshy pink meat
00:44:28 and find something beautiful.
00:44:31 You know it's summer,
00:44:34 and insane.
00:44:38 You keep this up,
00:44:40 Your boys are riding shine,
00:44:44 Getting hurt's part of the territory.
00:44:46 Now we pat her dry, boys.
00:44:48 Not that she don't enjoy being wet,
00:44:56 There. Come on, Luke.
00:44:57 Yeah, go on, Luke. Don't be shy.
00:45:03 That's Hazzard Mountain over there.
00:45:05 seven times.
00:45:07 we still got up and delivered that load
00:45:11 - Ancient history.
00:45:13 You done broke the pact
00:45:16 You don't hurt a fellow moonshiner.
00:45:17 You broke the pact when you ended
00:45:19 Now that you aren't a friend of J.D. Hogg,
00:45:21 you're finding Hazzard to be lonelier
00:45:25 Now, you wanna stuff her body cavity.
00:45:31 Come on.
00:45:34 Stuff it good. Good.
00:45:38 You try to get deep inside there.
00:45:42 - Get it in there, Luke. Come on.
00:45:45 - Go on in there.
00:45:47 - Okay.
00:45:50 Come on, Luke.
00:46:02 Look, Jesse loses control. Can he recover?
00:46:06 You're gonna let this personal feud
00:46:09 You got a dry county,
00:46:10 and you're arresting moonshiners.
00:46:13 Your moonshining days are over.
00:46:16 How about farming?
00:46:18 Oh, hell, that's right.
00:46:22 Jesse crashes and burns.
00:46:26 But the unbeatable, undeniable J.D. Hogg
00:46:31 collects a million dollars
00:46:37 Yeah, you're in a pickle, Jesse.
00:46:47 It's amazing.
00:46:49 You are single and down for anything.
00:46:52 Any girl would love to snatch you up.
00:46:55 He's right.
00:46:59 We baste her with hot juices.
00:47:03 There you go.
00:47:10 Oh, God.
00:47:13 Sis, where is Flashy
00:47:17 You know,
00:47:24 You fellas wait right here
00:47:27 Dear brother, you are in my home 'cause
00:47:30 Now, if you don't want to sleep
00:47:34 These hoodlums are trespassing.
00:47:36 As far as I'm concerned, they are innocent
00:47:39 until someone else
00:47:43 Well, I'm gonna nail
00:47:46 when you least expect it.
00:47:48 Kinky.
00:47:51 All right, boys, come on,
00:47:53 Y'all let me know
00:47:55 I do own a few businesses in town.
00:47:58 You come back any time, Luke.
00:48:01 Oh, he'll be back.
00:48:05 - When do we bust them, Boss?
00:48:08 If I know Jesse,
00:48:11 until they plant his corpse
00:48:16 I want to show you boys
00:48:20 We'll take your word for it.
00:48:22 I've been working long and hard
00:48:26 Okay, that's disgusting.
00:48:30 This is where we hide the Duke still.
00:48:35 Welcome to the place
00:48:39 And illegally bottled and sold at a profit.
00:48:43 Luke, I have a feeling
00:48:46 how the VIPs are treated at this farm.
00:48:50 This old still has been in our family
00:48:53 It makes the best shine in the county.
00:48:56 Back during Prohibition,
00:48:58 called together a meeting
00:49:00 It was his idea to sell a lot at one time
00:49:02 to get through the winter.
00:49:04 - Genius. A flea market for moonshiners.
00:49:08 Well, this is our last shot, boys. So
00:49:12 Let's not waste any time.
00:49:14 Wait.
00:49:16 Leave Daisy alone. She's got her heart set
00:49:19 and I ain't seen her this passionate
00:49:22 at the Christmas pageant.
00:49:30 Ain't nothing exciting
00:49:37 Shit!
00:49:57 I want a job here.
00:50:00 Done.
00:50:03 I want you take me out tomorrow night.
00:50:05 Done.
00:50:09 Hey, what's your cellphone number
00:50:11 Cellphone? Oh, you can reach me by CB.
00:50:15 My handle is Bo Peep.
00:50:21 Y'all have a pleasant evening.
00:50:26 You can put your eyeballs
00:50:37 Shine Mart, where the community comes
00:50:41 That's what I call real family values.
00:50:44 Attention, folks.
00:50:47 you might want to report to the medic's
00:50:51 But tonight's not all about fun.
00:50:53 This is the Dukes' last shot
00:50:56 Nice bouquet. Slightly fruity.
00:50:58 Burns your balls off. Makes you blind.
00:51:01 I'll take six cases.
00:51:18 Hey, it's Uncle Jesse!
00:51:22 Yeah, Uncle Jesse!
00:51:46 - Cooter!
00:51:50 and Licorice Stick. Nicknames.
00:51:55 Oh, hang on.
00:51:57 She's going to pick a dance partner.
00:52:00 Pick me! Cooter can dance!
00:52:03 Right here! Got my hand up!
00:52:05 Come on, right here!
00:52:08 Come on! Pick me! Pick me! Pick me!
00:52:11 - Have you seen enough?
00:52:15 Come on.
00:52:16 Folks, there's a pickup truck,
00:52:20 Your lights are on.
00:52:24 Red hot!
00:52:49 You got somebody you want to call?
00:52:53 Well, if you weren't right here, I'd call you.
00:52:57 But since you're right here...
00:53:08 You wanna go inside?
00:53:16 All I want is one taste
00:53:21 - I know!
00:53:23 First Shine Mart we had over here,
00:53:28 but they couldn't find no evidence.
00:53:31 I was blind for four days.
00:53:35 I didn't have no hands,
00:53:37 Just kind of floated around for a while.
00:53:39 Said they found me the next morning,
00:53:40 I was bumping a six-row cultivator
00:53:45 So why can't we drink shine?
00:53:48 Your folks don't want y'all drinking shine.
00:53:51 A couple of little cuties there that might
00:53:54 You got my permission
00:53:57 And Duke 'em one time for Uncle Jesse.
00:53:59 - You got it, Uncle Jesse.
00:54:05 I'm waiting.
00:54:07 - How long?
00:54:12 We have to keep our clothes on.
00:54:16 You mean dry-humping?
00:54:19 In layman's terms...
00:54:27 We need a blueprint, a strategy
00:54:30 and their pants.
00:54:33 There's those cute boys again.
00:54:36 Of course, what about being spontaneous?
00:54:39 Just go up, startle them, terrify them,
00:54:43 I can't do that.
00:54:46 If I can ask questions
00:54:49 then you can go up to Ali Handy
00:54:53 on his last mission.
00:54:56 - Yeah.
00:55:00 Ali Handy?
00:55:03 Me and you is like nitroglycerin
00:55:08 Pure dynamite when combined.
00:55:11 - You care to join me for a bull ride?
00:55:16 I'll watch.
00:55:18 I bet you're pure sex on a bull.
00:55:29 Oh, to be young again.
00:55:33 I'd like to ask you a few questions.
00:55:36 Ask away, then.
00:55:41 What is all this about alternative energy?
00:55:45 And how do you keep your ass so firm?
00:55:50 Want to get comatosed?
00:55:54 So that's what firewater tastes like.
00:56:06 That was amazing.
00:56:09 We'll have to try that wet sometime.
00:56:12 - You'll have to put a ring on my finger.
00:56:17 Let's get drunk.
00:56:19 - I ain't never got drunk before.
00:56:25 I heard your uncle makes
00:56:29 - Where did you hear that?
00:56:33 Hey, Daisy, you can trust me.
00:56:37 I'm not like other guys.
00:56:41 You can't tell a soul.
00:56:44 Promise?
00:56:49 Promise.
00:56:50 Something here stinks, and it ain't me.
00:57:08 I'm blind.
00:57:12 They've never been drunk before, huh?
00:57:14 Like all boys,
00:57:18 Sophisticated, graceful or...
00:57:23 You'll wake the stars.
00:57:26 They're real pretty stars.
00:57:29 Hey, let's do another shot.
00:57:37 I swear the boys in this town...
00:57:40 - Cops.
00:57:54 Hold it right there, now!
00:57:57 We got a moonshine party, Boss.
00:58:00 All right, everybody!
00:58:03 Look at them all running.
00:58:06 Wilma...
00:58:08 Shouldn't you be home with the kids?
00:58:13 All right, y'all want the good news
00:58:16 Well, the good news is
00:58:19 The bad news is
00:58:24 - Boss?
00:58:26 I don't think them Duke boys is here, Boss.
00:58:30 You ain't ruining my special night, Rosco.
00:58:32 Now we'll get them, sooner or later.
00:58:36 But for now, this prom queen
00:58:41 Excuse me.
00:58:45 'Cause the reason is sitting right here.
00:58:49 What in the world's happened to you, J.D.?
00:58:52 Oh, no, call me "Boss."
00:59:00 Where are the girls?
00:59:08 Damn it. I still have my underwear on.
00:59:11 Man, Shine Mart was awesome last night.
00:59:14 I don't remember anything about it.
00:59:18 Uncle Jesse is going to be pissed.
00:59:25 - Oh, my God!
00:59:29 We better go find Uncle Jesse.
00:59:37 Look awful nice, girl.
00:59:42 All right, knock it off back there, boys.
00:59:47 I don't know what all the fuss is about.
00:59:49 Well, you're missing 99% of your pants.
00:59:51 And the other 1% is covering
00:59:54 Well, I like the way they make me feel.
00:59:58 Of course he does.
01:00:00 - Uncle Jesse.
01:00:03 Now, you will keep your hands off
01:00:07 Now you got five minutes to do
01:00:14 We're sorry, Uncle Jesse.
01:00:16 We never should have
01:00:18 Then you'd be in jail with me now.
01:00:21 - I was a big fool to do that.
01:00:24 Well, these old guys
01:00:27 They got farms and families at home.
01:00:29 Well, worry no more.
01:00:30 We have got
01:00:34 All right, so I'm going to rig this jail
01:00:39 blast a hole big enough
01:00:41 Yeah, yeah, I got you. But why don't you
01:00:46 You need to lean on us
01:00:49 Never abandon a fellow runner.
01:00:53 I'll tell you what we might do.
01:00:56 J.D. has got a lot of important papers
01:00:59 And I know he's up to something.
01:01:02 'Cause once a shiner, always a shiner.
01:01:05 All right. We'll go up there right now.
01:01:07 Be careful. Don't run in there too quick.
01:01:09 - Be smart.
01:01:12 Now why would an old moonshiner
01:01:17 That's what the boys are here to find out.
01:01:22 And that's up to Luke,
01:01:25 See, Lulu is only distracted by two things.
01:01:28 Barbecue and hot, succulent boys.
01:01:32 Stop worrying and roll with it.
01:01:35 Trust your instincts.
01:01:37 I don't have instincts. I have plans.
01:01:41 At least I used to, until now.
01:01:43 All we got to do
01:01:45 then we're gone.
01:01:47 I mean, what could happen
01:01:58 - Hi, boys.
01:02:01 - You are looking fine today.
01:02:08 Can I be your
01:02:13 - special helper?
01:02:23 It was sweet of Bo
01:02:27 Oh, yeah, he's... He's real generous.
01:02:33 You know, you and Boss look real happy.
01:02:37 Our wedding photo. J.D. neglects me.
01:02:40 He can't help it, though.
01:02:43 What... You're telling me
01:02:47 Yup.
01:02:49 His testicles shut down the sperm bank
01:02:53 Now, mind if I slip into something more...
01:02:59 Comfortable?
01:03:01 I was gonna say boner-inducing, but
01:03:09 While Luke's learning the fine art of
01:03:14 Bo's searching for evidence downstairs.
01:03:19 This is for Uncle Jesse.
01:03:21 I can do this, man. This is for Uncle Jesse.
01:03:24 Yeah, for Uncle Jesse.
01:03:30 Come to mamacita. Come on.
01:03:42 Yeah?
01:03:44 Luke, is this your first time?
01:03:48 First time?
01:03:51 - Oh, yeah?
01:03:53 Sometimes I feel like I work for the UN.
01:03:55 And I've done every position.
01:03:59 I've even invented a few myself.
01:04:05 Boss, you fiend.
01:04:09 First time? That's funny.
01:04:11 Well, honey, you're more fidgety
01:04:14 in an undersexed henhouse, huh?
01:04:16 Look, if you wanna take a breather
01:04:19 we can go get Bo.
01:04:20 No, no! I want you now.
01:04:22 Oh, oh, Luke.
01:04:25 Looks like J.D.'s serious
01:04:27 about replacing beers with milkshakes.
01:04:30 Then again,
01:04:33 That's the golden rule in Hazzard.
01:04:45 You shut the door one more time,
01:04:46 I'll marinate you, grill you
01:04:52 Luke.
01:04:53 Luke!
01:04:55 You are going to die!
01:04:56 Luke, come in!
01:04:58 Lulu, my steamed dumpling!
01:05:04 Damn! What's going on?
01:05:09 Pull out!
01:05:11 Pull out!
01:05:14 Big Daddy Trouble's coming, Lulu!
01:05:16 - Oh, Big Daddy Trouble, save me, save me!
01:05:19 I was just paying Miss Hogg here
01:05:21 Oh, you're gonna pay a friendly visit
01:05:26 Oh, my...
01:05:28 Come on, Luke!
01:05:31 Come back and see me again!
01:05:34 Rosco, I'm being invaded by Dukes!
01:05:41 You messing with me, boys, huh?
01:05:46 Take that for coming after with my wife!
01:05:48 Luke!
01:05:50 I'm coming, Boss.
01:05:51 Good, Rosco, quick!
01:05:52 Get after them, them Duke boys.
01:05:55 Put the dog down,
01:05:58 - You were gonna leave me again!
01:06:03 - I'm coming for you boys!
01:06:11 Move over!
01:06:16 Oh, I'm ready now.
01:06:17 What is that?
01:06:19 Shit-shine ball.
01:06:30 Shit!
01:06:34 I'm backing, I'm backing, I'm backing!
01:06:37 Keep your eyes on the road!
01:06:38 Eyes? Who needs eyes?
01:06:46 Whoa! "Vote for Boss?"
01:06:50 Lean to the left! Lean to the left!
01:06:52 Drive somewhere!
01:06:54 That was fast!
01:06:56 Go!
01:06:58 They're getting...
01:07:00 Rosco!
01:07:02 St. Peter, I'm here.
01:07:05 Rosco! What are you doing?
01:07:07 They'll be drinking margaritas in Mexico
01:07:12 Flash had a little puppy meatloaf, Boss.
01:07:16 That's the sickest thing I've seen today.
01:07:20 God! Good Lord!
01:07:33 So, this is awkward.
01:07:37 This day never happened, all right?
01:07:40 If someone ask us
01:07:42 we'll say,
01:07:45 And not the day that Lulu Hogg rode you
01:07:49 Exactly.
01:07:50 Not that day.
01:07:51 Got your ears on, Lost Sheep?
01:07:56 Got our ears on and eyes peeled.
01:07:58 Listen, fellas,
01:08:00 I saw boxes being delivered
01:08:04 Sort of odd in a place
01:08:07 Hang on, Daisy, we'll be there later.
01:08:10 First, we gotta dress up for the occasion.
01:08:21 Rosco.
01:08:23 You still stink.
01:08:25 You stink so bad,
01:08:28 if anyone'll procreate with you,
01:08:31 Now, come on, Boss,
01:08:35 Rosco, if I want advice
01:08:39 I'll call you.
01:08:40 Calm down.
01:08:42 Them Dukes. They assaulted my boar,
01:08:47 and they molested
01:08:50 Oh, yeah, Boss, I can picture it now.
01:08:52 Their greasy little fingers
01:08:56 like a chubby kid looking for chicken wings
01:08:59 Rosco!
01:09:01 You dummy, I don't wanna
01:09:06 I want them in jail!
01:09:08 Can you do that? Can you just...
01:09:10 I got enough worries
01:09:13 Just add more deputies.
01:09:15 Do whatever it takes. I can't rest
01:09:18 until their gonads are scattered
01:09:22 Hazzard's a place
01:09:25 Bo and Luke got famous.
01:09:29 Enos finally got deputized.
01:09:31 A hall monitor with a gun. Lord save us.
01:09:36 With their faces plastered all over town,
01:09:41 Why the hell do I have to wear the skirt?
01:09:44 Because you have nicer legs.
01:09:46 Thank you.
01:09:48 No way to sugarcoat it,
01:09:51 Get over and talk to them right now,
01:09:54 All right.
01:09:55 Excuse me.
01:09:58 You ladies don't look
01:10:00 - Can I help?
01:10:03 I'm Detective Amanda Smith
01:10:06 and this is my partner, Anita Davington.
01:10:10 We're with the Federal Bureau
01:10:12 and we are conducting an investigation.
01:10:15 Federal agents?
01:10:18 I'm Deputy Enos Strate.
01:10:20 You know, you ought to talk to Daisy.
01:10:24 She's real nice.
01:10:26 Here she comes now.
01:10:30 If you need any further assistance,
01:10:38 Here's the key to Boss Hogg's office.
01:10:42 Now, hold on there one minute, little lady.
01:10:45 Failure to dance with the sheriff
01:10:50 punishable by 10 years
01:10:56 Now, my ex, she chucked
01:10:59 like a perp charged on indecent exposure,
01:11:02 failure to communicate,
01:11:10 She thinks upholding the law
01:11:15 But I do have my other passions.
01:11:21 Don't get fresh, Sheriff.
01:11:24 Oh, my.
01:11:27 You have a grip like an anaconda.
01:11:31 I bet you could swallow me whole, too.
01:11:42 Come on, let's go.
01:11:45 The boys' wigs got them in.
01:11:46 But it was time to leave
01:11:50 You ain't never gonna look at a sundae
01:11:55 Oh, baby.
01:11:56 Oh, my.
01:12:01 Yeah, that's cold, all right.
01:12:04 Cool me down.
01:12:19 Sweet.
01:12:25 Rosco shouldn't treat a lady like that.
01:12:27 - Now you're a lady?
01:12:31 Oh, man, these hose are killing me.
01:12:38 Man, that's hot.
01:13:02 Hey, look, look at that.
01:13:12 Well, how's it coming with the investors?
01:13:14 It's just a matter of time
01:13:16 turn the whole state dry.
01:13:17 No one resists the Hogg, John,
01:13:21 It was a lot more fun
01:13:23 from that hot piece of tail
01:13:26 In less than 24 hours,
01:13:30 and take that still.
01:13:32 Then you'll add your premium shine.
01:13:34 You know, before you go
01:13:38 stop by the Boar's Nest.
01:13:41 Hughie's a Hogg.
01:13:48 - Daisy.
01:13:50 Daisy, wait!
01:13:54 - I can't believe what a jerk he is!
01:13:58 I know you wanna wrap your thighs
01:13:59 and squeeze the air out of him,
01:14:01 so do I.
01:14:02 But we cannot let him know
01:14:04 We gotta follow Hughie
01:14:08 - I'll kill him with my bare hands!
01:14:10 You'll get your chance with Hughie.
01:14:13 Right now,
01:14:20 Sorry, Daisy.
01:14:23 They have messed with me
01:14:27 Here's what we know so far.
01:14:29 Hughie's a no-good, two-faced Hogg
01:14:33 With everybody locked up
01:14:35 there'll be one place in town
01:14:37 the Boar's Nest ice cream parlor.
01:14:39 Hogg will make a killing, but Bo and Luke
01:14:42 will lead them right to Boss's shine stash
01:14:46 Do you follow?
01:14:47 I never said this was going to be easy.
01:14:53 We'll lose him if he gets too far ahead!
01:14:55 I can't get too close.
01:14:56 Driving's second nature to me, Luke.
01:15:00 Orange car. Smart pick, boys, smart pick.
01:15:11 - What the hell?
01:15:13 Hughie is burning some dust.
01:15:20 I can feel the road. Snake coming.
01:15:23 You can feel the road?
01:15:25 Oh! Damn it, Bo, be careful!
01:15:27 I got it! I got it!
01:15:35 - Oh, shit!
01:15:47 Oh, man!
01:15:50 Beautiful driving.
01:15:54 Your instincts are worthless.
01:15:56 - I thought I had him.
01:15:58 You lost our best chance of nailing Boss
01:16:01 Plan all you want, but somebody's gotta
01:16:06 So you're the smart one, congrats.
01:16:11 You know I should have left you
01:16:14 Now I'm stuck here with an idiot.
01:16:18 I'm gone.
01:16:22 That's what you're good at.
01:16:24 Leaving people behind.
01:16:26 Go! No one's gonna miss you.
01:16:30 Now maybe I can finally get laid.
01:16:35 You know something ain't right
01:16:36 when Bo kicks
01:16:39 In fact, I'd say there ain't a whole lot
01:16:46 Poor Uncle Jesse,
01:16:48 just sitting in the clink
01:16:53 Poor hot, juicy Daisy.
01:16:56 First, Hughie foreclosed on her heart,
01:16:58 then Rosco foreclosed on the farm.
01:17:17 And so, things didn't turn out
01:17:23 Ain't that the way life is sometimes?
01:17:25 Thanks! Thanks a lot!
01:17:35 Oh, I got it. I got it, Bo!
01:18:40 I can't follow you, Luke.
01:18:42 I can't cross that line.
01:18:46 I love Hazzard.
01:18:48 I love my hair in the Hazzard sun.
01:18:51 I love Daisy and Uncle Jesse.
01:18:54 I love the smell of pig shit in the morning.
01:18:57 I love the feel of the General Lee's hood
01:19:03 Let's forget that all happened, all right?
01:19:07 Heat of the moment.
01:19:14 - That truck wasn't cold.
01:19:16 A Hogg ice cream truck just drove by.
01:19:21 It's kind of hard to keep ice cream cold
01:19:27 Okay, I really am the good-looking one.
01:19:30 Hogg's using the truck to transport shine.
01:19:34 And I bet I know
01:19:36 Hogg's Ravine, the ice cream factory!
01:19:42 Come on. Let's go find Daisy and Cooter.
01:19:46 The farm belongs to Boss at noon.
01:19:48 That doesn't give us much time.
01:19:51 - I'm so stupid for falling for Hughie.
01:19:55 You're the smartest person I know.
01:19:58 He made me feel pretty.
01:20:00 You don't need some big city jackass
01:20:04 Yeah.
01:20:05 Hell, Luke and I wanted
01:20:08 till we realized you were our cousin.
01:20:11 Actually, that didn't even matter to Luke.
01:20:15 It's true.
01:20:17 Thanks, boys.
01:20:19 So what are we gonna do?
01:20:21 We are gonna get Boss to pay for the farm
01:20:24 And why would he do that?
01:20:27 Nothing prettier than a good plan
01:20:31 I know y'all are anxious to hear about it,
01:20:36 Well, it ain't perfect.
01:20:39 The General's hurt.
01:20:42 I can't believe I'm gonna let you leave
01:20:45 It breaks my damn heart.
01:20:47 And hopefully, she'll last long enough
01:20:52 Hope's all we got.
01:20:54 Hope and a prayer.
01:20:57 And a dream.
01:20:59 - Hope and a prayer and a dream.
01:21:02 - Thank you, buddy.
01:21:04 Be careful.
01:21:08 Election day in Hazzard,
01:21:10 where folks are expected to vote early
01:21:12 and vote often for Jefferson Davis Hogg.
01:21:16 What a beautiful day for democracy
01:21:21 Here's part one of the plan.
01:21:22 Y'all are gonna see what they mean
01:21:25 Hi, Deputy.
01:21:29 Anything exciting happening?
01:21:32 I don't really get to leave the station,
01:21:35 Well, I bet there's a lot
01:21:40 - Wanna show me around?
01:21:48 Every voter is going to get a coupon
01:21:51 at Hogg's Car Wash and Delicatessen.
01:21:55 Let's get high on the Hogg!
01:21:57 Part two, Cooter's no philosopher,
01:21:59 but he can handle a tow truck
01:22:02 Now all the commissioners here,
01:22:05 we've gotten together and they've seen
01:22:08 It's pure, simple, it's good.
01:22:11 One hand on the Bible,
01:22:15 That's why we've all banded together
01:22:21 Now, this is just the beginning
01:22:27 Part three, Bo, Luke and the General Lee.
01:22:31 The perfect marriage of men and machine.
01:22:35 Well, if it ain't the Duke boys
01:22:39 Rosco...
01:22:40 Now, Cooter.
01:22:43 What the...
01:22:51 Oh, boy, are you all right?
01:22:52 Howdy, Boss.
01:22:54 Oh, you Dukes are gonna
01:22:58 Get in.
01:23:00 Go, Bo.
01:23:06 Attention all units.
01:23:07 Two male suspects driving
01:23:12 are believed to have kidnapped
01:23:15 All units respond.
01:23:18 Enjoy the sunny day.
01:23:29 This here
01:23:32 In case of emergency, I get on the horn,
01:23:35 they send me in there,
01:23:38 I ain't never seen one of these before.
01:23:40 I don't think you should be playing
01:23:44 - Enos, hand me that screwdriver.
01:23:58 You can slow down any time you want!
01:24:00 We got no reason to live!
01:24:02 You've taken the farm from us,
01:24:05 now you got us on the run.
01:24:06 You plowed my wife's field
01:24:09 You should burn at the stake!
01:24:10 We'd rather be the famous outlaws
01:24:12 that died in a police chase.
01:24:16 Unless you tell us
01:24:19 That's a good one!
01:24:21 It's either jail or the cemetery
01:24:24 Guess we'll take the cemetery, then!
01:24:47 Yeah!
01:24:51 Those darn Duke boys.
01:24:54 It don't get any better than this!
01:25:06 We got them now!
01:25:11 This is Rosco P. Coltrane,
01:25:22 He shot us!
01:25:26 "Protect and serve," my ass!
01:25:31 Hot damn!
01:25:33 Get their tires!
01:25:36 Hot damn! I'm alive!
01:25:49 What are you doing?
01:25:52 Wait! You ain't gonna do it!
01:25:54 Boss, you got anything you'd like to say
01:25:59 You ready, Daisy?
01:26:01 10-4. Go for it, Luke.
01:26:04 You're bluffing!
01:26:07 Don't do it! No!
01:26:14 What...
01:26:20 Getting close, Boss.
01:26:26 Okay! Okay, I...
01:26:31 So I could run a monopoly, shine
01:26:35 - Then I'd watch these normal people...
01:26:37 ...spending their hard-earned dollars!
01:26:40 Decent people
01:26:42 spending their money there!
01:26:46 Are you happy? Is that a crime?
01:26:50 You boys did it!
01:26:53 Why, you dirty, filthy, conniving Dukes!
01:26:56 Well, it don't matter, though.
01:26:59 Then we got one more thing to do!
01:27:01 No you don't! No you don't!
01:27:02 No!
01:27:05 They're heading back for the ravine!
01:27:09 Jump that already! Jump it!
01:27:48 Damn!
01:27:57 Kind of a nifty plan, huh?
01:27:59 See, the boys just found
01:28:02 You know what that means.
01:28:05 Excuse me.
01:28:12 I hope Boss brought his checkbook.
01:28:16 Oh, boy.
01:28:21 Folks were mighty tired
01:28:24 So, Boss was forced to let the shiners go.
01:28:27 Whoa! Hey.
01:28:30 Well, well, well.
01:28:33 Looks like little bluebird is ready to fly.
01:28:37 - Hey.
01:28:39 It's the boys and the girl. How are you?
01:28:41 You know, your folks sent y'all down here
01:28:44 you wind up breaking the law,
01:28:46 and doing a damn good job of it, too,
01:28:49 Let's blow this pop stand, come on.
01:28:52 You good-for-nothing.
01:28:58 Take it all in, Hughie
01:29:00 'cause they don't serve anything this fine
01:29:07 Oh, wait, wait, wait. No, no.
01:29:10 Daisy, I'm available for conjugal visits.
01:29:13 And since someone
01:29:16 Boss set up Hughie
01:29:34 On one...
01:29:36 The voters weren't too happy
01:29:39 So they saw fit to elect a better man.
01:29:41 An honest man.
01:29:43 A dead man.
01:29:46 Turned out the shock of winning
01:29:49 May he rest in peace.
01:29:51 So the voters, in their infinite wisdom,
01:29:56 figuring the devil you know
01:29:59 Get your hand off of there now.
01:30:00 His first official act was to pardon himself
01:30:05 Boss regretted offering that reward
01:30:09 He figured nobody'd ever catch on to him.
01:30:11 Then, again, he never figured
01:30:14 They used the reward
01:30:20 Bo finally found someone who appreciated
01:30:27 Wait! Did I pass?
01:30:34 - Yes!
01:30:38 While Luke found the one gal impressed
01:30:49 Looks like he'll finally lose his virginity,
01:30:53 and to someone
01:31:00 Uncle Jesse told the kids
01:31:03 to spend the rest of his days
01:31:07 They should have known
01:31:10 Once a shiner, always a shiner.
01:31:12 Race you to the General!
01:31:16 Hey, where y'all going?
01:31:18 - We'll be back!
01:31:22 You know the moment in your life
01:31:23 when you realize you're exactly
01:31:27 Hazzard's a place
01:31:31 can really make a name for themselves.
01:31:53 - Floor it, Bo. Floor it!
01:32:00 All right!
01:32:19 I don't understand what's going on.
01:32:25 Those Duke sons of bitches!
01:32:29 Oh, shit!
01:32:31 Well, you dirty son of a bitch...
01:32:35 Cut, cut, cut, cut.
01:32:38 You two sure are pretty.
01:32:48 Stop hanging around, you little monkey.
01:32:51 Fucking around is all I ever care about.
01:32:57 We didn't wanna hit your dog.
01:32:58 Was I talking to you there, circle of life,
01:33:04 Rosco!
01:33:06 Flash had a little
01:33:09 chip wiggle, Boss.
01:33:14 Was I talking to you,
01:33:21 - Gonads scattered in a...
01:33:24 Stop it right there.
01:33:25 I love grease and scattered gonads, Boss.
01:33:31 Come on! Come here, come here.
01:33:32 You hide behind those pigtails
01:33:35 Come on, come on! I can take her!
01:33:37 You got two weeks,
01:33:39 then I'm sending Rosco out
01:33:41 And you call yourself a Mason.
01:33:44 Yes, I do.
01:33:51 That's the sickest thing I've seen today.
01:33:54 We cleaning, Boss, we cleaning.
01:33:58 When you say shine, your eyes go
01:34:04 Hey, can I drive, Uncle Jesse?
01:34:12 Looks like you got
01:34:14 Besides that, that ain't my car.
01:34:18 God, you don't have to push me around
01:34:25 That's a scary-ass pig.
01:34:27 It's really funny
01:34:30 All right, this is just for the outtakes.
01:34:32 The cemetery.
01:34:33 You might wanna try some of that mouth
01:34:36 Come on, Flash, honey.
01:34:38 Let's go get some little greeny-weenies,
01:34:44 Oh, no, call me "Boss."
01:34:48 I got you, Boss, right here in my britches.
01:34:52 This is Rosco P. Coltrane,
01:35:00 Marker.
01:35:03 - You got all tongue-tied, Boss?
01:35:07 Did you step in something, son,
01:35:12 Help.
01:35:13 Oh, shit.
01:35:14 There goes my career!
01:35:16 It's suicide. It's suicide.
01:35:18 I gotta... I gotta get out!