Eurotrip Euro Trip

en
00:02:54 Congratulations,
00:03:15 There she is. Fiona!
00:03:18 Bye.
00:03:19 - Hey.
00:03:21 - Hey, you.
00:03:25 - Congratulations, graduate.
00:03:29 And congratulations to you, Cooper.
00:03:31 Aww. Thanks, baby!
00:03:33 - Nice try.
00:03:35 - See you at Wade's party tonight?
00:03:39 So, it's just you and me
00:03:42 Next year you graduate, join me
00:03:46 - Scott, we need to talk.
00:03:49 About me dumping you.
00:03:51 Huh?
00:03:53 There he is!
00:03:54 The graduate
00:03:58 Smile, you two!
00:04:00 - Action!
00:04:03 Uncle Moke... uh...
00:04:05 I'm gonna need a minute here, OK?
00:04:07 What do you mean,
00:04:09 I just can't take all the lying
00:04:13 What are you talking about?
00:04:16 I know. That's what makes this so hard.
00:04:18 You're looking good, you guys.
00:04:20 Scotty, it's not you.
00:04:25 There I go, lying again.
00:04:28 You're just so...
00:04:30 ...predictable.
00:04:34 So, that's it.
00:04:36 Here's your letter jacket back.
00:04:37 Goodbye.
00:04:40 This isn't mine.
00:04:45 She's a keeper, huh?
00:04:48 Oh, my God.
00:04:52 Fiona!
00:05:00 Let's see that again.
00:05:05 Fiona!
00:05:07 - This is just so brutal.
00:05:09 And yet I can't look away.
00:05:14 - Fiona!
00:05:16 OK.See you.
00:05:18 All right. Stay black, Bert.
00:05:21 "Fiona!"
00:05:24 Mail, motherfucker!
00:05:26 Hey, I got one from Mieke.
00:05:31 "Happy Herzlichen."
00:05:33 Still writing that guy?
00:05:36 Yeah at first, but we're
00:05:39 He's a really cool guy.
00:05:41 "Dear Mieke, greetings
00:05:46 Scotty, Girl Scouts have pen pals.
00:05:49 Listen to yourself, all right?
00:05:51 You met a "cool guy" on the "internet."
00:05:56 Next thing you know,
00:05:59 where he will gas you,
00:06:02 and make a wind chime
00:06:05 Come on, let's go to Wade's.
00:06:07 All right.
00:06:09 I'm not gonna let Fiona
00:06:11 Auf wiedersehen, Mieke.
00:06:27 - What's up, losers?
00:06:29 What's up, dude?
00:06:31 Sorry to hear about Fiona.
00:06:33 That's very sweet of you.
00:06:34 Enough Fiona talk. Look around.
00:06:38 We should try to have sex
00:06:40 Hello? Mixed company?
00:06:42 What?
00:06:44 - I'm a girl!
00:06:45 - You're just a cool guy with long hair.
00:06:49 Jenny!
00:06:51 There he is.
00:06:52 Hey, Jamie.
00:06:56 Why'd you get me
00:06:59 - I hate gin.
00:07:02 You guys are the worst twins ever!
00:07:06 Chug! Chug!
00:07:11 - When are you guys taking off?
00:07:14 Hey, Wade!
00:07:18 Man, I am so excited!
00:07:20 A whole summer,
00:07:22 You should've come with us instead of
00:07:26 It's gonna be so awesome!
00:07:28 Yeah. I planned every detail of the trip
00:07:34 You brought a guidebook to a party?
00:07:36 - Do you wanna see my itinerary?
00:07:40 You guys decide where
00:07:42 Paris! I can't wait.
00:07:44 Two years ago Nicky Jager's sister,
00:07:47 and spent a month sailing
00:07:50 Isn't that the most romantic
00:07:53 Stuck on a boat with a weird French guy?
00:07:59 It's not gay. I'm a girl.
00:08:02 - Kinda gay.
00:08:06 I gotta piss like a pregnant woman.
00:08:09 Hey, listen up, everybody.
00:08:11 Gotta a little special thing
00:08:15 Going to play
00:08:17 about the nastiest, freakiest
00:08:23 Fiona.
00:08:30 This one's for you, baby.
00:08:38 " Scotty doesn't know
00:08:41 " Do it in my van every Sunday
00:08:44 " She tells him she's in church
00:08:47 " Still she's on her knees
00:08:50 " Oh, Scotty doesn't know
00:08:53 " So don't tell Scotty
00:08:56 " Scotty doesn't know "
00:08:58 I hope we're just as popular
00:09:01 - We will be.
00:09:03 Who needs more Chablis?
00:09:07 - Candy, wanna come with?
00:09:12 Well, there's your R-rating
00:09:18 - Whoops!
00:09:20 Holy cow!
00:09:22 Oh, this isn't where
00:09:25 " I can't believe
00:09:30 " While I'm right behind you thrusting
00:09:34 " 'Cause Scotty doesn't know
00:09:36 Cooper Harris, you're a pig!
00:09:38 Uh... Candy, you should
00:09:43 Clean what off?
00:09:44 You got a little something on you.
00:09:48 - Where?
00:09:51 It's like a smudge,
00:09:56 Where?
00:09:59 It's like dirt, or something.
00:10:03 Is it off?
00:10:05 No, keep rubbing it.
00:10:12 " I did it with her on his birthday
00:10:16 " Scotty doesn't know
00:10:18 " Scotty doesn't know
00:10:21 " Don't tell Scotty
00:10:26 Mmm-hmm... mmm-hmm...
00:10:29 No, it's just not coming off.
00:10:32 What is it?
00:10:33 Maybe tree sap or something.
00:10:38 No, it's just not coming off.
00:10:41 Lick your fingers,
00:10:44 Like this?
00:10:46 Yeah.
00:10:49 Again, not enough saliva.
00:11:02 - Is it off yet?
00:11:05 Come here.
00:11:07 Oh, my God! Candy!
00:11:08 Cooper!
00:11:12 Hey...
00:11:15 This isn't where I parked my car.
00:11:20 " Scotty doesn't know
00:11:29 Hey.
00:11:31 Scotty doesn't know!
00:11:35 This band rocks!
00:11:37 - Yeah!
00:12:01 Mail, motherfucker!
00:12:11 Hey, Mieke.
00:12:12 "Dear Scott,
00:12:14 "I was very sad to hear about
00:12:18 "Since you no longer have a girlfriend,
00:12:22 "and we could get to know each
00:12:26 "zussamen."
00:12:28 What the fuck is "zussamen"?
00:12:38 "Arrange a meeting."
00:12:39 No, no, no! Come on!
00:12:42 This guy wants to have sex with me.
00:12:45 "Listen, Mieke...
00:12:48 "I don't want to arrange
00:12:50 "you sick, German freak.
00:12:53 "So please keep your hands
00:12:56 "and never write to me again,
00:13:01 "Goodbye."
00:13:08 Oww.
00:13:21 I'm never drinking again.
00:13:29 Bert, what are you doing?
00:13:30 Reading your email.
00:13:32 Don't do that.
00:13:35 Why are you wearing my bathrobe?
00:13:37 Oh, I'm sorry...
00:13:39 but somebody pissed
00:13:44 Wow. I can't believe this German chick
00:13:49 I don't think so, buddy.
00:13:51 No, it says right here,
00:13:54 "I was a sad girl to hear about Fiona."
00:13:57 Fuckin' A, Scott.
00:13:58 I'm taking "Intro to German,"
00:14:02 Come here.
00:14:03 He sent me a picture, retardo.
00:14:05 See? That's a picture of Mieke
00:14:09 No, retardo.
00:14:10 That's Jan, a man's name,
00:14:14 it's "Mieke," a common
00:14:17 similar to our Michelle.
00:14:19 I hope you wrote her back
00:14:24 You didn't?
00:14:26 You thought she was a guy!
00:14:28 I'm getting the video camera! Ha!
00:14:31 What an asshole!
00:14:34 No.
00:14:35 No.
00:14:37 No!!
00:15:09 "Address blocked"?
00:15:12 No... come on!
00:15:15 Hey, Mom made waffles.
00:15:17 - What's going on?
00:15:20 I'm in love with Mieke.
00:15:25 OK... OK.
00:15:28 You know what?
00:15:31 Frankly, I'm flattered
00:15:35 And don't worry about
00:15:38 - I think they already know.
00:15:41 No, no, I get it. Yeah.
00:15:42 He's the girl, and you're the girl,
00:15:47 Right?
00:15:49 Right? That's hot.
00:15:51 But whatever works for you.
00:15:54 Will you stop? Look, come here.
00:15:59 Wow. Who's the hot chick?
00:16:00 That's "Mike." I mean, Mieke.
00:16:03 That's who you've been writing to
00:16:06 Until last night,
00:16:09 and told her to keep her
00:16:11 Given what we know now, that seems like
00:16:16 This is a total disaster.
00:16:19 Oh, come on. It's not that bad.
00:16:22 Though she is really hot.
00:16:24 You're not listening.
00:16:27 Mieke and I had this incredible bond.
00:16:30 I told her things
00:16:34 Like what?
00:16:35 - Nothing. It's a figure of speech.
00:16:38 - Nothing. The point...
00:16:41 This girl is not only smart and funny,
00:16:44 but until I screwed up, she wanted
00:16:48 just to be with me.
00:16:49 - So do something about it.
00:16:52 She blocked her email account,
00:16:55 The only thing I know
00:16:58 So go to Berlin.
00:17:00 I can't just go to Berlin, Coop.
00:17:03 - Why not?
00:17:05 I just can't, OK? I'm supposed
00:17:08 It looks good on
00:17:11 Oh, Jesus, Scotty!
00:17:13 Man, Fiona was right.
00:17:25 - I'm going to Germany.
00:17:27 we're going to Germany.
00:17:36 How are we going
00:17:39 Don't worry. I've got it covered.
00:17:43 - We're going to be couriers?
00:17:46 We just have to carry their packages,
00:17:50 - My cousin did it going to India.
00:17:53 Of course, he ended up using
00:17:56 and they had to cut off his leg.
00:18:00 but he got there cheap,
00:18:03 OK, I don't have anything
00:18:06 But I can get you both
00:18:10 Anything else?
00:18:11 Europe is the size of the Eastwood Mall.
00:18:15 - Cooper, England's an island.
00:18:19 We'll take it.
00:18:35 Hey. Thanks for coming with me.
00:18:37 I know you had that internship
00:18:40 Well, forget about the law firm.
00:18:43 And don't thank me.
00:18:46 This trip is
00:18:49 for me to broaden my sexual horizons.
00:18:51 What are you talking about?
00:18:54 I'm talking about crazy European sex.
00:18:56 Ah.
00:18:58 You know America was founded by prudes.
00:19:01 Prudes who left Europe,
00:19:04 all the kinky, steamy
00:19:08 And now I, Cooper Harris,
00:19:11 will return to the land
00:19:14 and claim my birthright,
00:19:18 of erotic and sexually
00:19:23 You've really thought a lot
00:19:26 It's my passion.
00:19:42 Come on, come on!
00:19:46 - The adventure begins.
00:19:50 Yeah, breathe that sweet,
00:19:55 - Oh.
00:19:57 It's the phone they gave me
00:19:59 Yeah, it's pretty neat, huh?
00:20:01 - Works anywhere.
00:20:03 Excuse me.
00:20:05 Cooper here.
00:20:07 Hello, Mr. Walters.
00:20:09 Yes, sir, I'm down in file storage.
00:20:12 Um, hang on one second.
00:20:19 No, sir, I can't find
00:20:22 Yes, sir, I'll keep looking.
00:20:23 I don't rest until I find it.
00:20:26 Didn't tell your boss
00:20:29 They would've stopped paying me.
00:20:32 - So, where to?
00:20:34 First bus to Berlin doesn't leave
00:20:38 Got the Tower of London...
00:20:41 - Uh...
00:20:43 - There you go!
00:20:46 - Hey!"The Fiesty Goat."
00:20:53 All right!
00:20:55 What do you wanna...
00:21:06 Soccer hooligans.
00:21:13 Hey, this isn't where
00:21:16 Oy!
00:21:18 Who the bloody hell are you?
00:21:21 This is a private members bar,
00:21:26 of the greatest
00:21:29 Manchester United.
00:21:31 Now please, enlighten me.
00:21:34 Who the fuck are you?!
00:21:36 That is a good question,
00:21:40 Huh?
00:21:43 We're the Manchester United fan club...
00:21:47 from Ohio.
00:21:49 If you're Manchester United
00:21:52 sing the Manchester United song.
00:21:54 Excuse me, I'm sorry.
00:21:58 - Sing!!
00:22:01 " The morning train
00:22:03 " He works from 9 to 5 and then
00:22:08 " He takes another home again
00:22:11 " To find me...
00:22:15 " watching the Manchester United
00:22:19 Eh?
00:22:20 The best freakin' team
00:22:31 Pretty good.
00:22:32 - Pretty dang good, lads!
00:22:42 " My baby takes the morning train
00:22:46 " He works from 9 to 5 and then
00:22:50 " He takes another home again
00:22:54 " To find me waiting for him
00:22:57 " He's always
00:23:04 I've unblocked
00:23:06 but this Scott is not responding.
00:23:11 He was the one.
00:23:15 I was going to give myself to him.
00:23:18 Perhaps you should give
00:23:24 fraulein.
00:23:46 I'm never drinking again.
00:23:49 Coop, wake up.
00:23:50 Oh, man, that was a wild night.
00:23:55 You think?
00:24:04 Scotty, where the hell are we going?
00:24:06 Don't worry. If anything
00:24:10 Honey, where's Scotty?
00:24:13 - Cooper said they were going camping.
00:24:18 And where's Bert?
00:24:19 Fuck if I know.
00:24:31 Hey!
00:24:35 Look, given the current
00:24:38 all European countries should
00:24:40 - Right.
00:24:43 I hate them Italian bastards.
00:24:45 - You know what I mean?
00:24:47 Hello, boyo!
00:24:48 - What the hell happened last night?
00:24:53 Too much sauce, son.
00:24:54 Don't worry.
00:24:56 We come and got ya,
00:24:58 What trip?
00:25:00 - Where are we going?
00:25:03 We're going to see the Mighty
00:25:06 Aren't we, boys?
00:25:07 Yeah!
00:25:10 Why are you yelling at me?
00:25:12 So I tell the swamp donkey
00:25:14 before I give her a trunky
00:25:17 and have her lick me yardballs!
00:25:21 Wow. You guys are on a completely
00:25:26 Coop? Cooper,
00:25:29 I know. Cecil told me.
00:25:30 Mieke's in Berlin.
00:25:33 What are we gonna do?
00:25:35 See what I'm talking about?
00:25:39 Relax. Paris is practically a suburb
00:25:43 That's why France and Germany
00:25:49 The twins.
00:25:52 We can call them. They could help.
00:25:55 Okay, but I'm only supposed
00:25:58 Hey, don't...
00:26:16 You're on the wrong side of the road,
00:26:18 you snail-eating puffs.
00:26:20 Fuck off! Go on, you Gaelic
00:26:24 Piss off!
00:26:26 you froggy Itie shities!
00:26:31 - Fucking beep!
00:26:34 We'll beep, you bastard,
00:26:37 Get out of the way! Piss off!
00:26:46 Hey, lads!
00:26:47 That wanker's got
00:26:50 Let's give this nancy
00:26:52 Come on, lads, he's going off!
00:27:09 All right. Twins said
00:27:12 Look at that!
00:27:13 There they are. Come on. Jenny!
00:27:15 - Jamie!
00:27:17 Come here!
00:27:18 No, no. No, no, no!
00:27:19 - Scott, bienvenu a Paris.
00:27:22 - Is that a new camera?
00:27:24 this is a Leica M7.
00:27:26 Uber-sensitive exposure settings,
00:27:28 legendary cloth shutter system.
00:27:30 - Let me see that thing.
00:27:33 I spent four years tutoring
00:27:36 so nobody touches my camera but me.
00:27:39 - It's like your wiener.
00:27:41 - Jenny...
00:27:43 Wow, I can't believe you came
00:27:46 Wait, not just any girl.
00:27:48 Show her the picture, Scotty.
00:27:50 She makes girls in our high school
00:27:52 I'm a girl from your high school.
00:27:55 No, I mean "girl" girls.
00:27:56 Guys, we're wasting the whole day here.
00:27:59 Let's go to the Louvre!
00:28:00 To the Louvre!
00:28:35 So, you guys wanna stay here,
00:28:37 or should we check out
00:28:40 Here's a fun fact. Voltaire contracted
00:28:44 - Should we go?
00:28:46 - This guy's really creeping me out.
00:28:49 He's just trying to feed
00:28:52 - I really don't like him.
00:28:54 Because he's doing this?
00:28:57 OK, seriously, don't do that.
00:28:59 Cooper.
00:29:04 I am familiar with
00:29:06 and I am programmed to get...
00:29:12 freaky.
00:29:25 You're just upset because
00:29:28 It's okay.
00:29:53 Oh!
00:30:07 Fight! Fight!
00:30:12 Break the leg shot!
00:30:24 Ha! Ha! Ha!
00:30:31 Don't look in his eyes, Scotty.
00:30:38 - Ohhh!
00:31:05 - Oh!
00:31:10 Guys, let's go. Come on.
00:31:16 Error! Error! Error!
00:31:19 How cool is this?
00:31:22 It's a shame we only get
00:31:24 - Why don't you come to Berlin?
00:31:27 Jamie, come on. In a few months,
00:31:30 This could be the last chance the four
00:31:34 Plus, we're in Europe. Huh?
00:31:36 This should be the trip of a lifetime.
00:31:38 There's no way we should split up.
00:31:40 All right, this table
00:31:44 Excuse me.
00:31:46 We are right here, in Paris,
00:31:49 and I have got to get to Mieke,
00:31:51 who is over here, in Berlin.
00:31:53 If you come with us,
00:31:56 to see along the way.
00:31:58 - We can go to Denmark.
00:32:01 - We gotta hit Amsterdam.
00:32:04 And the cathedral at Cameret!
00:32:08 - Yeah...
00:32:10 - Whatever.
00:32:14 Come on! I really want you
00:32:17 Fine.
00:32:18 - Excellent!
00:32:20 - A toast!
00:32:23 - To Mieke!
00:32:25 To Europe!
00:32:26 Merci.
00:32:29 - Berlin, here we come!
00:32:32 Better let me hold on to those.
00:32:38 - What the hell is that?
00:32:41 Frommer's says
00:32:43 no one can rob you of anything.
00:32:45 Except your dignity.
00:32:47 No, you just put that in your...
00:32:49 wait, what?
00:32:51 Come on, guidebook. Let's go.
00:32:55 Check it out.
00:32:57 European ass.
00:33:01 What's up?
00:33:05 Jesus, Jenny.
00:33:08 girl. Come on. Platform 4.
00:33:11 Thanks.
00:33:15 Damn!
00:33:19 I believe this is yours.
00:33:25 Pleased to meet you.
00:33:28 - Jenny, let's go!
00:33:31 Those are my friends.
00:33:34 - Jenny!
00:33:36 So, it was really nice
00:33:40 The pleasure was all mine...
00:33:43 Jennifer.
00:34:27 " Scotty doesn't know
00:34:30 " Do it in my van on Sundays "
00:34:33 " Tells him she's... "
00:34:35 You gotta admit,
00:34:40 " Tells him she's in church
00:34:43 " Still she's on her knees
00:34:47 " Scotty doesn't know "
00:34:48 - " Scotty doesn't... "
00:34:54 Buongiorno.
00:35:03 You know, there are a lot
00:35:07 Huh?
00:35:08 Ah! Si...
00:35:10 Si.
00:35:43 Pardon me.
00:35:45 Eh?
00:35:47 Ohhh...
00:35:49 Scusi.
00:35:51 Mi scusi.
00:36:16 Hi.
00:36:18 Buongiorno.
00:36:31 - What the hell are you doing?
00:36:34 No! No, no, no!
00:36:38 - Uh-oh.
00:36:40 Big tunnel.
00:36:44 Who's touching me?
00:36:48 Who's touching me?! Scotty!
00:36:55 Oh!
00:36:58 Scusi.
00:37:22 Buongiorno.
00:37:31 Crans Sur Mer.
00:37:35 Well, we got a couple
00:37:38 What's there to see in this town?
00:37:40 Hello? The Monument des Poissonieres.
00:37:43 It's a monument to all the local
00:37:46 Frommer's says it's supposed
00:37:49 What the hell is wrong with you, C-3PO?
00:37:52 We're here to see Europe,
00:37:55 I'm taking a nap.
00:37:56 Wake me up when the train gets here.
00:37:59 Hmm. Says here this town
00:38:02 All right, we can't all
00:38:04 We gotta experience
00:38:07 Let's go exploring!
00:38:12 So, what's the etiquette on boners?
00:38:14 Do I roll over and dig out
00:38:16 or is it cool to just let my flag fly?
00:38:19 Wait, wait.
00:38:21 Does "nude beach" mean
00:38:24 Of course.
00:38:26 Do you think you can go an hour
00:38:27 without your currency colostomy bag?
00:38:29 As long as this thing has
00:38:32 it's not coming off, and
00:38:36 Come on.
00:38:37 You came all the way to Europe.
00:38:39 Can't wimp out now.
00:38:43 OK.
00:38:44 All right, on the count of three.
00:38:46 Here we go.
00:38:47 3,2,1...
00:38:49 Look at Jamie's penis!
00:38:52 Very funny. Very funny.
00:38:53 All right.
00:38:56 Let the crazy European
00:38:59 - Here we go.
00:39:00 - Yes.
00:39:05 - Hello, ladies!
00:39:13 - Ladies?
00:39:22 Eww! What a rip!
00:39:25 Just guys like us
00:39:27 I don't understand.
00:39:29 "Crans Sur Mer has one of the best
00:39:33 "However...
00:39:37 "during the summer,
00:39:39 "are chased away
00:39:41 "so Europe's most nubile exhibitionists
00:39:45 "next to the Monument des Poissonieres."
00:40:03 There's so many penises.
00:40:06 Frommer's tried to tell you,
00:40:09 This is the biggest
00:40:11 It's the international house of sausage.
00:40:14 Hey!
00:40:17 - Thanks for waiting.
00:40:20 It's all guys.
00:40:21 At least the sun's out.
00:40:29 " Dreams come true "
00:40:42 " I made my dreams come true "
00:40:45 " My dreams come true "
00:40:51 Holy crap!
00:40:52 What? I thought this was a nude beach.
00:40:55 No!!!
00:41:02 - Huh?
00:41:03 - What? What are you doing?
00:41:06 Girl?
00:41:08 Girl!
00:41:09 Ooh, girl.
00:41:14 Girl... girl...
00:41:17 Run!
00:41:24 - I'm not gonna make it.
00:41:26 - Go on without me.
00:41:31 Chica! Chica!
00:41:40 Chica! Chica!
00:41:53 Reading Mieke's old emails again?
00:41:55 Yeah.
00:41:58 I have no idea what I'm going
00:42:03 You know, she said
00:42:06 That's huge.
00:42:07 I've never been "the one" before.
00:42:11 Thought I was "the one" with Fiona,
00:42:14 - 200.
00:42:17 Look, you got nothing to worry about.
00:42:19 You'll show up and sweep her
00:42:24 Thanks.
00:42:33 Yeah.
00:42:35 I will, won't I?
00:42:40 I'm so sad and lonely.
00:42:40 I'm so sad and lonely.
00:42:42 I just wish someone
00:42:44 and sweep me off
00:42:47 Mieke! I'm here.
00:42:50 Scotty!
00:42:51 About that last email.
00:42:53 The past is the past.
00:42:56 I've been saving myself for you.
00:43:00 Let us make love
00:43:06 Touch me, Scotty.
00:43:12 OK.
00:43:31 Oh, Scott...
00:43:33 - Mi bello.
00:43:36 Mi bello.
00:43:38 Mi bello.
00:43:42 Mi bello.
00:43:44 Mi bello.
00:43:52 Mi scusi.
00:43:57 Mi scusi!
00:44:00 " Hot stuff baby this evening "
00:44:03 " Gotta have some hot stuff "
00:44:05 " Gotta have some love tonight "
00:44:08 " Hot stuff "
00:44:25 Guys, our train
00:44:28 - Where will we sleep?
00:44:31 We can sleep on the train tomorrow.
00:44:33 This is the best that could've happened.
00:44:36 This is the drug and
00:44:39 Take a look at this.
00:44:44 "Club Vandersexxx."
00:44:46 "The red light district's
00:44:49 We have to check it out.
00:44:52 I'll go.
00:44:53 Fine. Since no one else
00:44:56 I'll just go myself.
00:45:12 " I see "
00:45:15 " You're waiting for me "
00:45:17 This is definitely
00:45:24 Hello there.
00:45:27 Welcome to Club Vandersexxx...
00:45:29 Amsterdam's most erotic club,
00:45:32 where your every fantasy
00:45:36 Also says I get
00:45:41 He's American.
00:45:43 How sad for you to grow up
00:45:48 A country overrun
00:45:52 A country where a man
00:45:55 to only one woman at a time,
00:45:57 and one must learn
00:46:00 - It was horrible.
00:46:03 But you can come with me...
00:46:05 and let the Vandersexxx begin.
00:46:12 " Marijuana in my soul "
00:46:16 " Your iguana in my hall "
00:46:18 I can't believe
00:46:20 Don't worry.
00:46:24 You're gonna enjoy these, man.
00:46:28 " I like to smoke marijuana "
00:46:31 - You wanna do this?
00:46:39 - Hi.
00:46:41 I need a new battery for my camera,
00:46:42 and while you're at it,
00:46:45 Wow.
00:46:48 Is that a Leica M6?
00:46:49 Actually, it's an M7.
00:46:51 It's got the built-in light meter.
00:46:54 It's so beautiful.
00:46:56 So sleek, so powerful.
00:46:58 How's the new lens system?
00:47:00 Makes the Nikon
00:47:04 You really know your cameras.
00:47:08 And you're very cute.
00:47:10 Me? Really?
00:47:12 I'm going on break.
00:47:14 I was going to step out back
00:47:17 Would you like to join me?
00:47:19 I don't smoke.
00:47:21 Neither do I.
00:47:30 Hold on, hold on.
00:47:32 What is it?
00:47:34 This is great!
00:47:35 You're so innocent.
00:47:39 Let's change that... shall we?
00:47:43 What would you like me to do?
00:47:45 Well... I don't really know...
00:47:48 I guess I really
00:47:50 I haven't really found the time,
00:47:53 and model U.N., advanced placement
00:47:57 ...ing! Ah!
00:48:00 Gosh, you really like cameras!
00:48:03 Sometimes, we find our clients are
00:48:07 that they sometimes scream out,"no,"
00:48:10 when really they mean,"yes."
00:48:13 And this is why we have the safe word.
00:48:16 The "safe word"?
00:48:18 If at any time the ecstasy
00:48:22 you just use the safe word.
00:48:25 Until we hear the safe word,
00:48:28 Yeah, right. Stop.
00:48:31 We're going to start slowly,
00:48:34 teasing you with a little
00:48:38 Whee!
00:48:41 Oh, yes, ladies!
00:48:43 On, on, vandersexxx!
00:48:53 Hans! Gruber!
00:48:58 Hi.
00:49:10 So, are the girls coming back?
00:49:13 Administer the testicle clamps!
00:49:16 - Huh? What? Hey!
00:49:24 Safe word!
00:49:33 What is that?!
00:49:36 "Fluggen-kliggin-kien?"
00:49:41 Fluggen!!!
00:49:48 - OK, mister, don't move.
00:49:50 Shut the hell up!
00:49:52 Oh, brother! Please don't hurt me.
00:49:54 Oh, no... you're fine.
00:49:57 Give me cash? You got cash?
00:49:59 Take it all, you dirty girl.
00:50:01 What?
00:50:02 Your wallet! Focus!
00:50:06 - Give it to me.
00:50:08 Oh, I love you!
00:50:10 I love you!
00:50:12 I love you! I looove you!
00:50:28 What's so funny?
00:50:38 I'm really hungry.
00:50:41 - Excuse me.
00:50:44 It's hot in here. You hot?
00:50:47 - So good.
00:50:50 I'm freaking out! I think we got
00:50:53 I can't... I can't do this.
00:50:55 I saw a gay porno once.
00:50:59 The girls never came.
00:51:03 I am freaking out!!
00:51:06 - Everything all right with you?
00:51:09 You sold us a bad batch
00:51:12 You're a bad Rastafarian.
00:51:13 These are not hash brownies.
00:51:16 Hmm?
00:51:19 - What was that?
00:51:22 We're a simple Dutch bakery!
00:51:28 Now put your clothes back on, white boy!
00:51:32 Ow! Ow! Ow!
00:51:35 "Fluggengegeholen!"
00:51:38 Did you say fluggegecheimen?
00:51:40 Yes! Yes!
00:51:41 For the love of god,
00:51:44 Are you sure?
00:51:46 Yes, please.
00:51:47 As you wish.
00:51:50 Bring on
00:51:55 Wait... what?
00:51:58 Uh-oh.
00:51:59 No, no, no!
00:52:03 I said, uh...
00:52:23 What'd you do last night?
00:52:27 I don't want to talk about it.
00:52:29 What did you guys do?
00:52:30 Don't want to talk about it.
00:52:34 - What is that?
00:52:42 Hey, guys.
00:52:45 What happened to you?
00:52:47 I got robbed.
00:52:48 It was awesome!
00:52:52 Our money, passports, tickets...
00:52:58 How the hell could this happen?
00:52:59 We all go to Amsterdam, and
00:53:04 For shame!
00:53:14 Oh, that's me.
00:53:19 Coop here. Sorry.
00:53:21 Hello, Mr. Walters.
00:53:25 You never got the Gutterman file?
00:53:27 I told Humphrey to give it to you.
00:53:29 That's hogwash. I handed it
00:53:33 I'll tell Humphrey to report
00:53:36 Bye.
00:53:40 - This job's killing me.
00:53:53 - Uh...
00:53:55 I speak bad German.
00:54:20 - What did he say?
00:54:22 - Oh.
00:54:24 Jah.
00:54:29 Berlin?
00:54:39 - Berlin?
00:54:46 - He's going to Berlin!
00:54:51 - All right! Berlin!
00:55:02 Next stop, Berlin!
00:55:25 Beautiful!
00:55:28 Jah. Berlin!
00:55:35 - Bratislava?
00:55:37 Bratislava!
00:55:44 Dear sweet mother of God.
00:55:47 We're in Eastern Europe.
00:55:52 Eww!
00:56:14 Excuse me.
00:56:17 Do you speak any English?
00:56:19 You are Americans?
00:56:22 Yeah.
00:56:23 I love America.
00:56:26 We just get "Miami Vice" on television.
00:56:29 "Miami Vice" is number one new show.
00:56:32 Yeah.
00:56:34 Listen, we're trying
00:56:37 Do you know if there's
00:56:40 Oh, yes, very soon.
00:56:47 Stop! Hammer time!
00:56:49 Enjoy Bratislava!
00:56:51 It's good you came in summer.
00:56:54 In winter, it can get very depressing.
00:56:58 We gotta figure something out.
00:57:06 Frommer's travel tip.
00:57:09 I don't have anything.
00:57:11 What? I got noth... fine.
00:57:19 $1.83 American.
00:57:22 What are we gonna get with that?
00:57:29 Gotta love that exchange rate!
00:57:34 Ta.
00:57:39 Hapi Djus.
00:57:42 Teraz bez drenei.
00:57:44 Hmm. Now with less pulp.
00:57:48 Dinner is served.
00:57:50 Would the masters care
00:57:52 Think we're good. Thanks.
00:57:55 Ah! A nickel!
00:58:00 You see this?
00:58:02 - I quit!
00:58:05 I open my own hotel!
00:58:15 So, we got 27 cents left.
00:58:18 What is there to do in this town?
00:58:26 - " My Scotty "
00:58:29 " Scotty doesn't know "
00:58:33 " Don't tell Scotty "
00:58:36 - " Scotty doesn't know "
00:58:38 This song sounds familiar.
00:58:43 Jenny, lemme check your coat.
00:58:51 - Hey!
00:58:53 That outfit is horrible!
00:58:57 No, but I will let you
00:59:01 Excuse me!
00:59:03 You are the woman from the Paris
00:59:06 - My name is...
00:59:08 Yes.
00:59:10 What are you doing here?
00:59:11 This is my place. My family owns
00:59:14 I'd be honored if you'd join me
00:59:18 Mmm-kay.
00:59:22 Bye, Cooper.
00:59:30 - What's that?
00:59:32 Frommer's says it's
00:59:34 because it makes you
00:59:37 They call it "the green fairy."
00:59:46 My family has a yacht in the Aegean.
00:59:48 Come with me, Jennifer.
00:59:51 Oh, my God!
00:59:53 We will swim with dolphins,
00:59:57 Oh, my God!
00:59:59 We will spend the day
01:00:02 My wife makes the best sangria.
01:00:04 Wait... what?
01:00:06 Sangria.
01:00:08 You take a good Spanish Rioja,
01:00:10 and you put in slices of orange, and...
01:00:12 No, wait.
01:00:16 You go around Europe
01:00:19 No, please, Jennifer.
01:00:21 I also sleep with men.
01:00:27 I gotta say, I'm not feeling anything.
01:00:30 Me neither.
01:00:31 Sober as a judge.
01:00:34 How 'bout you?
01:00:36 I'm not feeling a goddamn thing.
01:00:38 This absinthe is bullshit!
01:00:40 I hear you, my brother.
01:00:42 I'm outta here.
01:00:44 Excuse me.
01:00:45 - Hey, so where's Christoph?
01:01:09 - Europe!
01:01:11 - Whoo!
01:01:28 So, tomorrow, Berlin.
01:01:30 Tomorrow, Mieke!
01:01:38 Check it out.
01:01:39 No way!
01:01:41 Jamie's hooking up with another girl?
01:01:44 It's just so unfair.
01:01:47 looking for crazy European sex,
01:01:51 - Oh, my God!
01:01:56 That is some pretty fucked-up shit.
01:02:03 Can you say,
01:02:19 They really are the worst twins ever.
01:02:49 That was a pretty wild night, eh?
01:02:52 Yep. Pretty wild, pretty wild.
01:02:57 I know I was out of control.
01:02:59 How about you guys?
01:03:01 All right, look.
01:03:03 things got a little crazy,
01:03:06 kissed me.
01:03:09 Let's just forget about it, 'kay?
01:03:11 - Consider it forgotten.
01:03:13 Never happened.
01:03:15 Fine. Let's just forget about it.
01:03:18 It's not like you two had sex.
01:03:21 - Have you had sex?
01:03:23 Jamie, relax.
01:03:26 OK, fine. I'll give it a rest.
01:03:30 Jamie, could I borrow your Frommer's?
01:03:37 Oh, here it is. Bratislava.
01:03:39 Hmm. Capital of Slovakia.
01:03:41 Oh, here's a fun fact.
01:03:45 You made out with your sister, man!
01:03:47 - Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!
01:03:53 My friends, where is the beef?
01:03:58 You go to Berlin?
01:04:01 Hop in.
01:04:05 " "99 Red Balloons"
01:04:28 This is Mieke's
01:04:30 Wish me all sorts of luck, guys.
01:04:34 You'll do great, Scotty.
01:04:38 Thanks.
01:04:58 I came all this way.
01:05:08 - Dude, Mieke's hideous! Run!
01:05:22 Hi, my name is Scott Thomas.
01:05:24 I'm from America,
01:05:26 I'm sorry, but Mieke's not here.
01:05:28 Do you know where she is?
01:05:30 She's gone for the summer.
01:05:45 My daughter had intended
01:05:48 looking at colleges
01:05:51 But several days ago,
01:05:54 She would not tell me why.
01:05:56 I think I know why.
01:06:03 This is Heinrich.
01:06:07 As I was saying,
01:06:10 - It was all very sudden.
01:06:12 She's always been
01:06:16 Greek and Roman literature, history,
01:06:20 so she found a program that
01:06:23 Do you know where she is?
01:06:25 She enrolled in a summer at sea
01:06:29 Rome.
01:06:32 OK, then I guess we'll go to Rome, then.
01:06:34 Unfortunately, Mieke's only
01:06:37 Tomorrow her group boards a boat
01:06:40 She'll be quite unreachable.
01:06:44 Unreachable.
01:06:52 Mieke's tour group goes
01:06:55 then she gets on that boat
01:06:57 So, it's over?
01:07:01 Thanks for sticking with me
01:07:04 you should probably call your parents,
01:07:07 have them wire you
01:07:10 What are you gonna do?
01:07:13 I'm going to Rome.
01:07:15 I'll walk, I'll hitchhike,
01:07:17 I'll swim if I have to,
01:07:25 Maybe that'll help.
01:07:26 Where'd you get all that?
01:07:28 Wait. Where's your Leica?
01:07:31 Sold it.
01:07:32 What?
01:07:35 You sold your Leica?
01:07:38 What about your Europe photo tour,
01:07:41 Chateaus have been there
01:07:43 Mieke's gone in 12 hours.
01:07:48 Let's go! Frommer's says check in three
01:07:52 Come here, guidebook!
01:07:54 Whoo! We're going to Rome.
01:08:07 " Be my girl "
01:08:09 " Be my girl "
01:08:12 " Are you gonna be my "
01:08:13 " Girl, yeah "
01:08:16 " Be my girl "
01:08:18 " Be my girl "
01:08:21 " Are you gonna be my girl "
01:08:28 All right, summer at sea group.
01:08:30 Our tour begins in the Vatican museum.
01:08:32 This way, please.
01:08:41 There it is.
01:08:49 This entrance is
01:08:54 Oh... but we are
01:08:56 We've come all the way from America.
01:09:01 That guy in the orange jacket
01:09:08 Si, I can tell.
01:09:13 Yes, it is.
01:09:15 But if you are a tour,
01:09:17 We've got a fantastic tour guide.
01:09:19 - Right here.
01:09:25 The Vatican has been used
01:09:28 ever since the time
01:09:30 of the 5th century A.D.!
01:09:34 - Oh.
01:09:35 OK... um... if you'll
01:09:43 Have a very special day
01:09:45 for a very special little man.
01:09:50 OK.
01:09:53 I can't believe that guy let us in.
01:09:56 What a retard!
01:09:57 - Let's find Mieke.
01:10:01 One of our English-speaking
01:10:04 Could you please take
01:10:08 - How big is Vatican City?
01:10:12 - Who built the colonnades?
01:10:16 - Where are the bathrooms?
01:10:18 Next I'll take you to where the
01:10:22 When this happens, white smoke
01:10:25 - Here's a fun fact...
01:10:28 Let's go.
01:10:38 Behind me is the appartamento papale,
01:10:41 or "papal apartment."
01:10:45 Excuse me, miss. What is this?
01:10:48 That is the bell of San Marco.
01:10:49 When the pope dies,
01:10:52 rings this bell to notify
01:10:54 Next we will view the Sistine Chapel.
01:10:59 Come on. I think I hear them.
01:11:03 Which way did they go?
01:11:04 That way. I'd stake
01:11:07 Good enough for me.
01:11:08 Hey, check it out!
01:11:12 It doesn't do anything,
01:11:16 They got a lot
01:11:25 Dio mio!
01:11:27 The bell of San Marco!
01:11:31 The pope is dead!
01:11:37 Whoa.
01:11:40 She's not in here.
01:11:42 Let's go. We're definitely
01:11:45 Hey, check this out!
01:11:47 - I'm the pope!
01:11:49 take off the pope hat.
01:11:52 - Oh, no. It's OK.I'm catholic.
01:11:56 Oh, you took
01:11:59 Only I can forgive
01:12:01 Take that fudging thing off!
01:12:03 The pope breaks an open-field tackle.
01:12:05 It's a Hail Mary,
01:12:07 the 30, the 20, the 10...
01:12:10 touchdown, Pope!
01:12:13 The pope makes a two-point conversion.
01:12:16 And oh, my Lord!
01:12:18 and the heathens, nothing!
01:12:22 How's you, sucka?
01:12:27 Cooper, the hat! The hat!
01:12:29 The hat is on fire!
01:12:30 " We don't need no water
01:12:32 I'm not kidding! Look!
01:12:34 Oh, holy shit!
01:12:37 I don't want this!
01:12:38 Fireplace! Fireplace!
01:12:42 Whoa!
01:12:51 White smoke!
01:12:53 They've elected the new pope!
01:12:58 I'm coming to you live
01:13:00 where the College of Cardinals,
01:13:03 has just elected a new pope.
01:13:07 This is so strange.
01:13:09 Usually they wait 15 days
01:13:13 We could be seeing
01:13:15 We could be seeing an arrest
01:13:25 There she is. Mieke!
01:13:30 Hey! Stupid curtain!
01:13:33 Let me out!
01:13:38 Mieke!
01:13:39 It's the new pope!
01:14:07 What the hell...?
01:14:14 Mieke!
01:14:18 Hold on!
01:14:25 This is one crazy pope.
01:14:36 You!
01:14:38 Ferma! Stop! You!
01:14:42 You... and your retarded friend,
01:14:46 you're in big, big trouble.
01:14:48 Oy!
01:14:52 Take your mitts off them boys!
01:14:54 They're with me!
01:14:58 I've just about had enough
01:15:01 But I am Swiss!
01:15:05 Them, too!
01:15:12 Now, bud...
01:15:13 you get in there, and you
01:15:17 Mieke. I'm here.
01:15:20 I made it.
01:15:24 Who are you?
01:15:30 What a fucking loser!
01:15:34 I'm Scott.
01:15:37 From Ohio?
01:15:38 Scott? Scott Thomas?
01:15:42 - Yes.
01:15:45 - What are you doing in Rome?
01:15:48 Listen, I just traveled
01:15:51 I got chased by naked men.
01:15:53 I ate brownies with absolutely
01:15:57 I watched a brother
01:16:01 I kicked a robot in the balls,
01:16:05 so I could tell you one thing.
01:16:09 I love you, Mieke.
01:16:11 Aww...
01:16:14 We're perfect for each other.
01:16:16 I think...
01:16:34 Oh, Mike... Mieke!
01:16:49 Forgive me, Father,
01:16:52 I have cheated on my husband.
01:16:53 Do you think God will ever forgive me?
01:16:56 Oh, yes!
01:16:58 - Father?
01:17:10 This sucks.
01:17:12 I can't believe I'm the only one
01:17:16 Europe is officially
01:17:18 I know.
01:17:20 I thought I'd at least get to
01:17:27 What?
01:17:37 - Scott, I have to go.
01:17:40 My boat is leaving.
01:17:42 I still can't believe
01:17:44 just for me.
01:17:46 What can I say?
01:17:49 Keep writing to me, Scott, OK?
01:17:52 Yeah, I will.
01:18:02 - Go.
01:18:11 Yes! Yes! Yes!
01:18:14 Whoo-hoo!
01:18:17 Hey, guys, I'm so glad we got
01:18:20 This was the best time of my life.
01:18:26 Excuse me.
01:18:28 You're the young man who gave me
01:18:33 - Listen, I'm very sorry...
01:18:36 You were the most knowledgeable,
01:18:40 tour guide I've ever had.
01:18:41 Thanks.
01:18:43 But I'm not actually a tour guide.
01:18:45 I've just read Frommer's
01:18:48 Although I threw in a few things
01:18:51 How would you like to add them?
01:18:53 Excuse me?
01:18:54 That's my guidebook.
01:19:02 I'm Arthur Frommer.
01:19:05 It's amazing!
01:19:07 Frommer's is going to pay me to see
01:19:11 - That sounds so exciting...
01:19:15 for you.
01:19:17 I figured, since you're
01:19:20 you might need this.
01:19:22 - A disposable camera.
01:19:25 Thanks, Scotty.
01:19:26 That's from both of us.
01:19:35 Hello, Mr. Walters.
01:19:37 I see.
01:19:39 Fired? Well, I...
01:19:41 Well, if that's what you want,
01:19:45 goodbye, sir.
01:19:48 They had to catch you
01:19:49 - No, they fired Humphrey.
01:19:52 I got his office and a raise.
01:19:53 - No!
01:19:54 Flight 341
01:19:58 That's you guys.
01:19:59 - Have a good flight, everybody.
01:20:04 Be good.
01:20:06 - Oh! OK...
01:20:09 - Cooper, have a good flight.
01:20:12 Thanks.
01:20:45 I'm on it.
01:20:55 This still
01:21:06 "Dear Mieke,
01:21:08 "Greece sounds incredible.
01:21:11 "I just moved into my dorm room today,
01:21:13 "but I can't wait to see you
01:21:15 "This time I think
01:21:25 - Hello?
01:21:27 I just got here. My roommate
01:21:30 Do they room all you
01:21:32 I'm not sure I'm going pre-med.
01:21:34 I'm thinking about majoring in German.
01:21:36 German? I've got a better idea.
01:21:38 Why don't you major
01:21:40 So, how's Jenny?
01:21:42 Jenny... Jenny who?
01:21:43 I know a lot of ladies
01:21:46 Ow!
01:21:49 Hey, Scotty, what's up?
01:21:51 Hi, Jenny!
01:21:52 How's Jamie doing with Frommer?
01:21:54 Oh, no.
01:21:59 Hold on.
01:22:01 Come here, robot!
01:22:03 Cooper, not again!
01:22:06 Hold on, this could be
01:22:14 What's the freak look like?
01:22:16 Is he a dork or is he cool?
01:22:20 Is he bigger than me?
01:22:22 I just got your last email.
01:22:25 Going to college.
01:22:27 You're going to college here?
01:22:30 - What dorm?
01:22:32 Room 214.
01:22:38 How is this possible?
01:22:39 I guess they thought I was a guy.
01:22:43 Now who would be dumb enough
01:22:55 Do I hear kissing?
01:22:57 Are you making out with
01:23:03 Scotty?
01:23:04 Scotty? Scotty!
01:23:07 " Scotty doesn't know
01:23:10 This happy ending is bullshit.
01:23:12 When does the fairy get laid?
01:23:15 " Still she's on her knees
01:23:18 " Oh, Scotty doesn't know "
01:23:22 - Catchy tune.
01:23:28 " Fiona says she's out shopping "
01:23:33 " But she's under me
01:23:38 Scotty doesn't know!
01:23:41 Scotty doesn't know!
01:23:43 Hello, and welcome to
01:23:45 Amsterdam's finest and most
01:23:49 Sounds great.
01:23:50 There is no bathroom,
01:23:52 " I can't believe
01:23:56 Sorry.
01:23:59 " While I'm right behind you thrusting "
01:24:02 - Get it?
01:24:04 If you do not wish to have
01:24:08 I suggest destroying them
01:24:11 You can also try hiding
01:24:15 in your anus.
01:24:16 Drink?
01:24:18 " Scotty doesn't know
01:24:20 " Scotty doesn't know
01:24:23 I'm gonna rip away his pants
01:24:26 - Ready? Quit. Shut up.
01:24:28 Sorry. I know I fucked it up.
01:24:30 Yes! You take her hair...
01:24:32 and one strand at a time,
01:24:36 Use her like a humping post!
01:24:39 Jenny, this is Europe.
01:24:41 They have orange juice ads
01:24:44 "Happy juice."
01:24:48 Show them something they haven't seen.
01:24:51 " Fiona's got him on the phone "
01:24:54 " And she's trying not to moan "
01:24:57 " It's a three-way call
01:25:00 " Nothing, Scotty doesn't know "
01:25:02 " Scotty doesn't know
01:25:05 Should a fire occur,
01:25:08 or the fireworks factory upstairs,
01:25:13 along with the valuables
01:25:16 " So don't tell Scotty
01:25:19 " Really want to go "
01:25:20 " Scotty doesn't know
01:25:23 " Scotty doesn't know "
01:25:27 " The parking lot, why not? "
01:25:30 " It's so cool when you're on top "
01:25:36 " Life is so hard
01:25:38 " Scotty doesn't know "
01:25:40 Fuck off! Get out of it, you wankers!
01:25:43 Go on, you gaelic fucking
01:25:46 Piss off! Get in here
01:25:48 Come on! Fucking come and have it!
01:25:51 You fucking beep?!
01:25:52 We'll beep, you bastard,
01:25:55 Fuck off!
01:25:57 Go on, you French bastards!
01:25:58 Get on the other side
01:26:01 Go on out of it!
01:26:03 Fuck off!
01:26:04 I'm nackered.
01:26:06 - League supporters.
01:26:08 " Scotty doesn't know
01:26:11 - No, wait...
01:26:18 Hey! Check these out!
01:26:22 " Gonna tell Scotty
01:26:24 " Scotty has to know
01:26:28 " Scotty has to
01:26:31 " Scotty doesn't know
01:26:33 " Scotty doesn't know
01:26:35 " Scotty doesn't know
01:26:39 " Scotty doesn't know
01:26:43 Scotty doesn't know!
01:26:46 Scotty doesn't know!
01:26:49 - Scotty doesn't know!
01:26:54 Scotty's gotta go!
01:26:56 " "Get Loose" plays "
01:27:54 Is it off yet?
01:27:56 No, keep rubbing it.
01:28:04 Ripped by: dj-oRi