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Evolution en
00:02:30	In spite of all the warnings,
00:02:35	Bad move!
00:02:45	And the fire begins.
00:02:56	It's show time!
00:03:01	Don't worry, ma'am.
00:03:08	Keep those people back!
00:03:12	Don't you dare die on me!
00:03:16	Breathe, damn it, breathe!
00:03:21	She's gonna make it!
00:03:30	What the--
00:04:16	Oh, damn!
00:04:47	Though it may be hard to believe
00:04:52	making in excess of$1 7,500 a year...
00:04:54	could manage to find time to gradeyour
00:05:00	As you can see, there was
00:05:03	Pretty much all ofyou got A's.
00:05:10	You deserve to congratulateyourselves.
00:05:14	And I think that the parade ofA's will
00:05:20	So much for the bell curve, right?
00:05:22	Bell curves suck!
00:05:25	Mr. Kane?
00:05:26	Dr. Kane, seems to be a mistake here.
00:05:30	My brother and I each got a C-minus
00:05:33	C-minus. Me too.
00:05:35	Allow me to share something
00:05:39	As I was grading papers, I came across
00:05:45	And both withjust one paragraph...
00:05:48	which I unfortunately
00:05:50	"Cells are bad.
00:05:52	My uncle lives in a cell.
00:05:56	And he has to read the same boring
00:05:59	The end."
00:06:04	You're talking about our papers,
00:06:08	Yes, I am.
00:06:10	Although my standards are not
00:06:12	I still could not bring myself
00:06:16	Hopeyou understand.
00:06:19	- Sure.
00:06:22	Let's get back to work at the Periodic
00:06:26	A meteor? Where?
00:06:31	Route 89-A.
00:06:33	Yeah, I got it.
00:06:37	Rest assured I will be there.
00:06:45	How's it look, Professor?
00:06:49	It's tight.
00:06:51	Really tight, Nadine,
00:06:56	You just don't have the points.
00:06:58	Don't take it too hard. Geology's
00:07:01	Areyou sure?
00:07:04	I really need this credit
00:07:09	Nursing school?
00:07:11	Wouldn'tyou be more comfortable where
00:07:18	Actually, what I reallywant to be
00:07:22	But my consultant says nursing school
00:07:26	- Makes me look like I help people.
00:07:32	Or haveyou already eaten?
00:07:35	I was concluding a teacher-student
00:07:39	Harry, your dedication toyourjob
00:07:46	Regrettably, I have a prior lunch
00:07:50	We'll talk aboutyour
00:07:56	Let me grab my stuff.
00:08:03	Whereyou taking me?
00:08:05	A meteor hit last night.
00:08:07	Oh, that's what that was.
00:08:09	As the Glen Canyon representative
00:08:13	I have been assigned to check it out.
00:08:15	I'm taking you in case I actually have
00:08:19	You're a representative
00:08:22	Signed up over the Internet.
00:08:24	Wereyou on some cheerleader site
00:08:30	Something like that.
00:08:32	Watch it. Take it easy.
00:08:32	Watch it. Take it easy.
00:08:34	Thereyou go. Easy.
00:08:38	Come on, be careful!
00:08:41	Who's gonna pay me for the damage
00:08:44	Son, I told you we don't do that.
00:08:48	Force majeure, my ass!
00:08:53	Who areyou?
00:08:55	Harry Block, United States
00:08:59	This is my secretary, Ira Kane.
00:09:01	We're here to investigate the meteor.
00:09:05	Ofcourse it's a damn meteor.
00:09:08	I'm still fuzzy on whatyou were
00:09:11	With Betty Lou here.
00:09:12	For the thousandth time, I was
00:09:16	which started seven minutes ago,
00:09:21	You and the blonde found the meteor?
00:09:24	Yeah, I found it.
00:09:25	It bounced my car 200 feet
00:09:29	Bob, get him out ofhere right now.
00:09:35	Don't leave town.
00:09:38	Sheriff, is this...
00:09:42	the point ofpenetration?
00:09:45	Yeah, it punched through
00:09:52	That's a hole.
00:09:56	Oh, damn it!
00:10:01	You're the U.S.G.S. representative.
00:10:03	That responsibility
00:10:05	Oh, my God! Look at that.
00:10:10	I believe we've located
00:10:14	- Big smile, fellas.
00:10:17	Hold it up now.
00:10:22	It's hot! It's really hot.
00:10:24	I'll hold you up.
00:10:27	More nightstick.
00:10:29	Look at thesejackasses.
00:10:35	At ease, gentlemen.
00:10:37	The Feds are here.
00:10:39	Feds? What Feds?
00:10:41	- Who letyou down here?
00:10:45	The U.S.G.S. and local law enforcement
00:10:49	We're here to get some scientific
00:10:53	Ah, yeah, sure.
00:10:55	We got all the photographic evidence
00:11:00	Thankyou.
00:11:17	Just hit last night
00:11:23	Could be cave moss.
00:11:25	Cave moss afterjust a few hours?
00:11:28	Let's get a sample
00:11:42	It's bleeding.
00:11:43	It's a rock that bleeds.
00:11:48	Now that's really peculiar.
00:11:53	Let's bag it.
00:12:04	I don't know ifthis geological society
00:12:09	Yeah, it pads out my resume,
00:12:14	Am I growing as a Division Three
00:12:20	Areyou gonna do those spectro tests
00:12:23	Spectrograph. Yeah, I will do
00:12:27	Your resume will shine.
00:12:29	Good. I got to get to the game.
00:12:37	Ira? Areyou sureyou can handle this
00:12:43	All right, all right.
00:13:21	That's impossible.
00:14:02	Ten base pairs.
00:14:08	No, that can't be.
00:14:09	We need this!
00:14:14	Come on, ladies, look alive!
00:14:22	Tina, when Lisa goes for the spike,
00:14:27	Lisa, two hands! Two hands!
00:14:30	God gaveyou two goddamn hands
00:14:33	Big news. The most amazing thing.
00:14:35	The meteor samples are teeming
00:14:38	Their metabolic rates
00:14:40	They're dividing at an incredible rate.
00:14:44	Their DNA has ten base pairs.
00:14:47	Ten base pairs. That's good to know.
00:14:50	The DNA ofall life on Earth
00:14:53	Come on, ladies!
00:14:55	Look alive!
00:14:58	Harry, these are organisms
00:15:04	They're aliens.
00:15:09	Is the Nobel Prize paid in installments,
00:15:13	Let's not get ahead ofourselves.
00:15:16	I'm not getting ahead ofmyself. I'm
00:15:24	- Why in here?
00:15:31	It's our discovery.
00:15:34	I'm all tingly.
00:15:44	I'm no biologist, but how many cells
00:15:50	Ifwe're gonna be important scientists,
00:15:54	Why don'tyou take a look?
00:16:12	There are multi-cellular organisms
00:16:16	- Yes, I know.
00:16:19	- So they snuck in.
00:16:23	It's-- No, it's too amazing.
00:16:26	- What?
00:16:30	They're growing.
00:16:32	They're growing
00:16:36	It's evolution.
00:16:39	Nobel, here we come.
00:16:43	Yeah, but it's 200 million years' worth
00:16:50	That's fast.
00:16:53	You have no idea.
00:16:56	Get ready.
00:16:58	On my signal.
00:17:00	Go!
00:17:03	Recruit, wake up.
00:17:06	Wake up!
00:17:08	Go! Go, go, go!
00:17:10	The hose!
00:17:14	Sorry.
00:17:16	- Move it! Move it!
00:17:18	Go, go! Come on!
00:17:27	Buddy, these things happen.
00:17:30	There's another test in six months.
00:17:33	Six months?
00:17:37	At least you still got the pool gig
00:17:39	Great. Thanks a lot.
00:17:42	Drive careful.
00:17:46	I got it. I got it!
00:17:48	I do this.
00:17:56	Looks like we got visitors.
00:18:06	Class, since this is our first field
00:18:12	Dirt!
00:18:13	Nice footwear.
00:18:15	It's perfect for spelunking.
00:18:18	Don't move anything. Don't even breathe
00:18:20	And wearyour protective gloves
00:18:22	- Why do we have to do this?
00:18:26	The very meat and potatoes ofgeology.
00:18:28	- Will this be on the final?
00:18:31	- Officer, nice to seeyou again.
00:18:33	- We came to pick up the rock.
00:18:37	Yeah, we--
00:18:38	Just orders from the U.S.G.S. Theywant
00:18:42	It's very technical.
00:18:44	Oh, technical stuff. It's technical.
00:18:48	- We're gonna haul it out ofhere.
00:18:51	Deke and Danny, rememberwhat
00:18:54	You are in charge ofthe hoisting. Get
00:18:58	Fellas, stop nodding andjust stare
00:19:02	Focus.
00:19:04	You understand what I wantyou to do?
00:19:06	- Yeah, we gotyou.
00:19:08	Go do it.
00:19:20	Ira, I'm picking up
00:19:24	A lot has changed.
00:19:29	Class, I know these look like mushrooms,
00:19:37	Oh, it smells disgusting.
00:19:40	Nadine, sometimes science stinks.
00:19:45	It's the game we play, baby.
00:19:50	Rotten egg smell.
00:19:52	- Hydrogen sulfide, right?
00:19:55	It's like it's converting
00:19:57	Look at all this rudimentary plant life.
00:20:03	I don't want to get all girly, but I
00:20:12	The ground does seem to be moving.
00:20:23	Whoa!
00:20:26	Flatworms.
00:20:28	Millions!
00:20:29	Yuck!
00:20:33	Oh, God!
00:20:35	Barely 1 8 hours
00:20:38	- Look, look!
00:20:40	- Hi, Dr. Kane.
00:20:45	- Man, I almost went down!
00:20:50	Come here, little buddy.
00:20:57	I'm not gonna hurtyou.
00:21:05	You didn't hurt it.
00:21:08	The oxygen must have killed it.
00:21:10	It must need its own atmosphere
00:21:13	Yeah.
00:21:14	Grab a specimenjar. We'll try to scoop
00:21:18	Yeah, right.
00:21:21	It took us two billion years to do
00:21:25	Yeah. Those little germs are
00:21:31	I'm so sorry to interrupt,
00:21:33	But I was wondering ifI'm correct
00:21:37	fulfilled any ofmy missing
00:21:40	You know, Nadine,
00:21:43	But ifyou wouldjust focus--
00:21:50	Professor...
00:21:51	the little wigglyworm things
00:21:55	Look.
00:22:01	He's not breaking. It's splitting.
00:22:04	It's mitosis.
00:22:07	No sex?
00:22:09	No time for sex.
00:22:12	Bummer!
00:22:14	Little guys are splitting again.
00:22:16	Put it away. Look, we call no one,
00:22:21	What about the government? Isn't this
00:22:24	No government.
00:22:27	You do?
00:22:30	This is our discovery, and we have
00:22:33	We have to do more research and check
00:22:45	Wayne?
00:22:49	What's this?
00:22:51	That would be an all-cotton towel, sir.
00:22:55	It's a damp towel.
00:23:00	Okay, let me take care ofthis
00:23:03	You should, becauseyou're pool manager,
00:23:20	What the hell?
00:23:33	Where did you guys come from?
00:23:51	You're dead now.
00:24:06	Whoa! What the--
00:24:20	Harry, when Icheckedthesamples
00:24:22	Ifoundthree differentsubspecies.
00:24:24	These thingsare evolvingso quickly.
00:24:28	God knows what we'll find
00:24:35	Please tell me
00:24:42	Shit!
00:24:54	Can I helpyou?
00:24:55	Yeah. Harry Block, Ira Kane.
00:24:58	We're doing some important research.
00:25:03	I'm sorry. Not anymore.
00:25:05	What doyou mean?
00:25:08	This is not a nightclub.
00:25:11	I know my Constitutional rights!
00:25:14	Harry!
00:25:15	Look, maybeyou can call your superior.
00:25:22	I have a Harry Block and Ira Kane
00:25:25	Punk. What?
00:25:28	You got to know how to talk
00:25:30	- White man gonna get his ass whupped.
00:25:33	- Did you say Kane?
00:25:36	- The Ira Kane?
00:25:38	I've been looking forward to this
00:25:43	Hey, hey, hey!
00:25:45	Get his gun!
00:25:47	Take it easy. They're good. Up!
00:25:50	You're responsible
00:25:54	- What the hell was that about?
00:25:56	Drive straight down to the command tent.
00:26:00	- Go.
00:26:02	That's the guy that had me in diapers
00:26:36	- Men, General Woodman's expecting you.
00:26:46	What an unexpected surprise.
00:26:48	For me too. I didn't realize
00:26:52	The same old Ira Kane.
00:26:55	Harry Block, this is General Russell
00:26:59	- General.
00:27:01	You two know each other?
00:27:03	Ira used to work for me.
00:27:05	I worked with you, actually.
00:27:08	You used to work in army research
00:27:11	Yeah.
00:27:12	And all this time I thought
00:27:14	No. How did you
00:27:17	You leave the Pentagon,
00:27:21	We like to keep tabs
00:27:23	Soyou tapped my phone?
00:27:26	No. We're not the KGB.
00:27:28	Actually, we've been monitoring
00:27:32	His computer?
00:27:34	All those girls in the photos
00:27:37	Yes, I'm sure.
00:27:40	- I should've figured.
00:27:41	And you should've known better than to
00:27:45	And the CDC.
00:27:47	Just in time. Ira, this is Allison Reed,
00:27:52	at the CDC.
00:27:54	Nice underwear.
00:27:56	Garter belt? At a day function?
00:27:58	I can do it. Thankyou very much.
00:28:00	I'm okay. Dr. Kane.
00:28:03	I'd heard aboutyour recklessness,
00:28:07	Doyou realize how dangerous
00:28:10	It's nice to meetyou too, ma'am.
00:28:12	No need to play the blame game, Allison.
00:28:16	We're all very appreciative
00:28:20	Block.
00:28:22	Block. I'm sorry.
00:28:24	The confirmation ofthe existence
00:28:27	Would be the greatest
00:28:29	Yes, actually.
00:28:31	Yes, it would.
00:28:33	And you have myword thatyou'll be kept
00:28:36	You son ofa bitch.
00:28:38	What doyou mean, kept in the loop?
00:28:41	We won't cutyou out,
00:28:43	We're following protocol.
00:28:47	Yeah, I got some protocol right here
00:28:50	Look, this research must continue under
00:28:55	We secured the area.
00:28:56	We're constructing an air lock into the
00:29:01	So there's not a lot
00:29:04	ofGlen Canyon Community College
00:29:08	Did you catch that condescending tone
00:29:10	We are following well-established
00:29:13	Ma'am, please. Russell, don't pull
00:29:15	You deserve to be here?
00:29:19	You're lucky anybody's ever letyou
00:29:24	You're a disgrace,
00:29:30	Lieutenant, show these men out.
00:29:33	This is horseshit.
00:29:37	It's not over.
00:29:39	You're in for a fight, Russell.
00:29:42	Would you stop following me, please?
00:29:44	Thankyou.
00:29:46	We're not gonna bend over
00:29:49	Fruit basket for Russell Woodman!
00:29:53	Happy holidays, General!
00:29:58	Cute.
00:30:01	Dr. Kane, areyou asking me
00:30:05	from involvement in a discovery
00:30:09	No, no. We're asking you to make sure
00:30:12	who actually made the discovery
00:30:16	They kept us out for almost two weeks.
00:30:18	We put our lives on the line to find
00:30:22	Wejust want to be there for them
00:30:25	We were the first team at the site and
00:30:30	The facilities at Glen Canyon Community
00:30:35	Theyweren't ajoke
00:30:40	Your Honor, ifthe court
00:30:44	Depose me?
00:30:47	We thinkyour past is very relevant,
00:30:49	These issues speak directly
00:30:54	Dr. Kane, you were
00:30:57	at USAMRI D from '94 to '97,
00:31:01	Yes, that's correct.
00:31:03	And you were summarily dismissed
00:31:09	My services were no long required?
00:31:12	Uh-huh. So in your opinion...
00:31:14	your firing had nothing to do
00:31:17	you developed and gave to nearly 140,000
00:31:23	I see whereyou're going with this.
00:31:26	It may have been a factor. You'd have
00:31:30	I'll make a note to do that.
00:31:32	can you tell me what happened
00:31:37	Well, none ofthem got anthrax,
00:31:42	What did they get?
00:31:44	As with any new vaccine...
00:31:47	there were certain side effects
00:31:50	Could you be more specific?
00:31:52	It was a wide range ofthings.
00:31:54	I'd hate to waste the court's time
00:31:57	Humor me.
00:31:59	Some debilitating stomach cramps.
00:32:03	Severe diarrhea.
00:32:05	Memory loss.
00:32:07	Yes, go on.
00:32:12	Partial facial paralysis,
00:32:17	bleeding gums, erectile dysfunction,
00:32:23	I think that's it.
00:32:26	One more question.
00:32:28	Doyou happen to remember what the
00:32:38	Yeah, they called it
00:32:46	Keepyour head up.
00:32:49	You know she wanted to giveyou some,
00:32:51	Wereyou even in that courtroom?
00:32:54	Getting barbecued like baby back ribs?
00:33:07	Oh, we've been hit.
00:33:09	Forget the foreplay.
00:33:17	- Empty.
00:33:19	Damn it!
00:33:25	I don't care who they are.
00:33:29	Perfect.
00:33:36	They took the rock, the samples,
00:33:40	All the data's gone. TheJ PEG files,
00:33:44	- I'm calling the cops.
00:33:47	They are the cops!
00:33:51	Then what?
00:34:06	Let me askyou, how comeyou get
00:34:11	I was a colonel.
00:34:12	And you obviously served
00:34:15	Consideryourselflucky. The penalty
00:34:19	Yeah, maybe for you, white boy.
00:34:24	Colonels first.
00:34:28	I was at it for 12 hours.
00:34:31	My toes were starting to hurt
00:34:38	Stop it.
00:34:44	-Just act likeyou belong.
00:34:48	- Pick up that butt, soldier.
00:34:50	- And tuck that shirt in.
00:34:54	Get the door.
00:34:58	Thankyou, Private.
00:35:00	Don't get used to this.
00:35:29	Oh-oh, look at that.
00:35:37	Enjoyyour lunch, gentlemen.
00:35:40	Okay, I'll be right back.
00:35:46	Your girlfriend, 1 1 :00.
00:35:51	Darn it.
00:35:54	That woman's a menace.
00:35:56	Testing, one, two. One, two.
00:35:59	This is D.J. Harry Block here,
00:36:03	Will you stop?
00:36:06	Don'tyou snap at me, unless you want an
00:36:11	Lieutenant?
00:36:15	Yeah?
00:36:16	Who's that?
00:36:20	I don't know.
00:36:24	I don't have anything on my schedule.
00:36:27	Maybe it's the guys from sector 1 2
00:36:31	- You know how those guys are.
00:36:40	This place has changed.
00:37:02	Can you believe this?
00:37:04	Look at that.
00:37:21	Our little babies are growing up.
00:37:30	Three weeks, it's already
00:37:36	Looks like the kitchen
00:37:46	Harry, check that guy out.
00:37:57	Is it coming or going?
00:38:06	That treejust ate it.
00:38:08	Everything here seems to be food
00:38:10	- So stay offthe menu, huh?
00:38:20	Ira, come here,
00:38:29	Cool. Hey, snag one.
00:38:33	- Snag one?
00:38:36	I seen this movie.
00:38:40	Don't be scared. We came
00:38:42	He's not gonna hurtyou.
00:38:45	He's eating.
00:38:48	Come on, my little red lobster.
00:38:52	Come on, my sexy little crustacean.
00:38:56	Come on.
00:38:57	Whoa!
00:39:04	Ira, look at that backside.
00:39:08	Theater in the round.
00:39:10	That's the kind oftrunk space
00:39:14	Who does that remind you of?
00:39:16	I have no idea
00:39:18	She's been throwing it atyou enough.
00:39:21	- Dr. Reed?
00:39:22	Excuse me, Dr. Reed?
00:39:27	Nope. Why?
00:39:29	You should probably take a look
00:39:37	You'd like to roast that rump.
00:39:41	That is an ice image.
00:39:44	that there is anactual
00:39:47	underneathall Dr. Reed's
00:39:50	- ButIdon't thinkso.
00:39:53	I thinksheis
00:39:57	Ira, that'sjusta cover.
00:39:59	Don'tyouknowthat?
00:40:02	Oh, Ira. Ira!
00:40:07	Harry, stop that. We got tagetapiece
00:40:10	And cut that out.
00:40:12	- Ira!
00:40:14	- I'm not doing it. I'm just walking.
00:40:25	Let's bag that
00:40:27	I'm readywhen you are, Colonel.
00:40:29	This disco suit is making me chafe.
00:40:34	Shoo, fy.
00:40:38	Hold it right there.
00:40:42	Dr. Reed, so nice to seeyou again.
00:40:44	You're in violation ofthejudge's
00:40:47	Want to talk about violations?
00:40:50	- Got any Raid?
00:40:53	You stole our computer hard drive,
00:40:56	- I didn't steal anything.
00:41:00	Let's be honest. You've been trying
00:41:04	All we're trying to do is take back
00:41:08	Credit has nothing to do with this.
00:41:11	- Is this true? Areyou aware ofthis?
00:41:14	Something's in my suit.
00:41:15	You're not gonna believe him. He openly
00:41:19	Harry, what?
00:41:21	There's something in my suit!
00:41:23	It's impossible. It's sealed!
00:41:25	The fy!
00:41:30	- Don't take offyour helmet! Oxygen!
00:41:38	Doyou see it?
00:41:41	- No.
00:41:43	- You're all right. Who's the man?
00:41:45	- No, you're the man.
00:41:49	Oh, God.
00:41:55	It's in me!
00:42:01	For the love ofeverything good and
00:42:05	You're gonna be okay.
00:42:08	Cut me open?
00:42:11	It's moving down his leg.
00:42:14	- What do we do?
00:42:16	Whoa, don't take the leg!
00:42:19	Is there anything elseyou can do?
00:42:21	Doctor, look.
00:42:25	It's heading for his testicles.
00:42:27	Take it! Take the leg!
00:42:30	Wait, wait!
00:42:34	Give me some forceps. I might be able
00:42:37	- How'reyou going in?
00:42:39	- Ohh!
00:42:42	- No time for lubricant.
00:42:44	- Flip him!
00:42:46	Okay, here we go.
00:42:49	- Try to relax.
00:42:51	I'll shove this gurney upyour ass!
00:42:54	- Cheek spreader.
00:43:00	Don't clench!
00:43:02	You're so brave.
00:43:03	- A little more.
00:43:05	- A little deeper.
00:43:09	- Squeeze my hand. Squeeze it!
00:43:12	Open up. Open up!
00:43:13	- Breathe. Breathe.
00:43:16	- Almost there.
00:43:21	It's over, it's over.
00:43:26	Itjust died.
00:43:27	Don'tyou ever do that again!
00:43:35	The size ofthat thing insideyou! It
00:43:38	You're all right. You did great.
00:43:42	Ice cream.
00:43:45	- What favor?
00:44:03	Man! Now I'm a Hawaiian warrior?
00:44:07	I'm thinking seriously about moving.
00:44:12	Because ofthe fireman thing?
00:44:16	You know how many times
00:44:20	Hey, pool boy, you watering down
00:44:23	No, sir.
00:44:28	'Causeyou're nothing
00:44:32	Excuse me?
00:44:33	What?
00:44:35	Drink's almost ready.
00:44:39	Hereyou go.
00:44:56	Anddon'tforget, folks
00:45:01	Formaking whoopee
00:45:12	Oh, damn it!
00:45:17	That's gonna stain.
00:45:37	Barry! Barry, where areyou?
00:45:41	I can't seeyou.
00:45:44	I'm down here, my pet, by the water.
00:46:15	Somethingjust ate Barry Cartwright!
00:46:20	That's too bad.
00:46:29	I don't get it.
00:46:32	credentials and talent
00:46:38	likeyou?
00:46:40	Thankyou.
00:46:41	Your partner could have died.
00:46:45	I was desperate.
00:46:47	I've been exiled out here for 5 years,
00:46:51	and this amazing discovery
00:46:54	I look at it as my ticket out ofhere.
00:47:00	But I don't suppose
00:47:04	No, how could I? I'm a humorless
00:47:12	- You heard that, huh?
00:47:15	Don't thinkyou know
00:47:20	I'm sure I don't.
00:47:24	Thankyou for not calling the cops.
00:47:36	Oh, be careful!
00:47:39	Stop being such a baby.
00:47:44	I've seen that car before.
00:47:48	No more bran for me.
00:47:52	Hey, girls.
00:47:52	Hey, girls.
00:48:00	Stop. Cut it out.
00:48:04	Hey, it's the meteor guy.
00:48:07	What's in the bag?
00:48:09	Oh, no. I got something
00:48:13	- What happened toyou?
00:48:17	You guys teach here?
00:48:19	Yeah.
00:48:21	I was thinking about taking
00:48:23	But I decided to hit thejob market
00:48:29	Can we helpyou?
00:48:31	Yeah. A guy got killed
00:48:35	A real douche bag.
00:48:38	Thatjust doesn't make it right.
00:48:41	It was an animal attack.
00:48:48	Isn't that something?
00:48:50	Happened by the water hazard
00:48:53	The lady he was banging saw
00:48:55	We chased this sucker on the fairway,
00:48:59	Itjust died? How?
00:49:03	Like it was choking to death.
00:49:06	You know? Stopped breathing.
00:49:09	Anyway...
00:49:11	it's like nothing I ever saw before and
00:49:28	Jill, you've got some kind
00:49:33	You have a serious bug problem.
00:49:37	What?
00:49:44	Jill, there's something
00:49:51	Open the door, Grace.
00:49:53	Me? It's your house.
00:50:16	When did you get a dog?
00:50:21	We don't have a damn dog.
00:50:25	I don't think that's a dog.
00:50:29	Or a muskrat or pig.
00:50:33	- How the hell did it get in here?
00:50:37	Well, it's frightened.
00:50:40	Oh, look, he can barely breathe,
00:50:45	Come on, cutie pie.
00:50:50	Come on, come on.
00:51:02	Yes, 91 1 ?
00:51:20	What the hell is that thing?
00:51:30	Thanks.
00:51:32	Pick me up in an hour. No, two.
00:51:43	Thanks.
00:51:52	Hi. Doyou have any messages for me?
00:51:58	Two single beds, please.
00:52:02	Ira, I'm tired. I've had two hours sleep
00:52:06	They're spreading.
00:52:08	You talking about the golfcourse?
00:52:13	Well, it's too bad you missed
00:52:17	They're adapting.
00:52:20	You're overreacting.
00:52:24	I used to be arrogant likeyou.
00:52:28	We're both aware ofwhat that led to.
00:52:33	I do takeyou seriously.
00:52:37	Then you gotta talk to Woodman,
00:52:40	We gotta kill these things
00:52:46	All right. I'll discuss it with him,
00:52:49	Thankyou.
00:52:52	-Just one more thing.
00:52:55	Doyou thinkyou could ever
00:53:00	Bye, Ira.
00:53:02	It'sjust food for thought.
00:53:10	Yeah, she's mine.
00:53:16	I've been an adjunct professor
00:53:18	but I'm hoping this alien brouhaha
00:53:25	You gonna finish that bacon?
00:53:27	Yeah, I'm gonna finish it.
00:53:31	So about the coaching girls' volleyball?
00:53:36	Doyou ever get
00:53:39	Yeah, all the time.
00:53:43	You're kidding, right?
00:53:45	- So?
00:53:47	Ah, thank goodness.
00:53:51	I'm okay.
00:53:53	Level with me.
00:53:56	Is there some sort
00:54:02	We don't know.
00:54:07	Excuse me,
00:54:11	Hi, Denise.
00:54:12	Hello, Ira.
00:54:15	Ow.
00:54:17	That's Ira's ex
00:54:19	What's with the police escort? You're
00:54:23	That's funny. This is my friend, Sam.
00:54:26	I know Sam. We go way back.
00:54:30	Maybeyou could look into my missing
00:54:34	See what I mean?
00:54:36	I'm not up on the law...
00:54:39	but is it against the law when you leave
00:54:43	You wantyour shirt?
00:54:46	Seriously, take it.
00:54:48	You must be cold, right?
00:54:50	Why should I get to wear the shirt
00:54:54	It's amazing how manywomen
00:54:58	I'm sure he'll letyou borrow the shirt
00:55:02	Wegota code 12-72 in Valley Vista.
00:55:07	1 2-72? That's an animal attack.
00:55:09	1 0-9-9 responding.
00:55:10	- Gotta go, babe.
00:55:13	They're calling.
00:55:14	Wait.
00:55:17	Be careful.
00:55:19	- You'll take care ofthe check, right?
00:55:30	I want those shirts back, Denise.
00:55:33	Hey, you gotta admit...
00:55:35	this animal attack
00:55:40	Check it out?
00:55:42	- Check it out.
00:55:56	We're under the microscope so let's be
00:56:01	- No cowboy stuff, okay?
00:56:05	OfficerJohnson.
00:56:07	- Fellas, why areyou here?
00:56:10	And part ofourjob
00:56:13	is to ascertain
00:56:15	You know what? No. Not this time.
00:56:18	- You touch it with your bare hands?
00:56:21	- You did? He touched it.
00:56:25	- What do we do?
00:56:27	Okay, why don'tyou guys come in
00:56:30	I'll be checking things out around here
00:56:42	This dog is all ass.
00:56:45	Ira, look at this, man.
00:56:52	He would have come
00:56:54	It'sjust used for storage
00:57:03	Looks like he crawled right through
00:57:09	Hey, guys.
00:57:10	I was conducting a parameter check...
00:57:14	and there's something
00:57:17	You liked that thing,
00:57:20	What is it?
00:57:32	Great googa-mooga!
00:57:35	What'd I tell you?
00:57:39	They're crawling out.
00:57:43	They're trying to breathe
00:57:46	Fortunately, they haven't been able
00:57:52	Hey, Ira, I think I know
00:57:56	How?
00:57:58	Well, this entire area...
00:58:00	is a honeycomb ofcaves
00:58:04	Ifmemory serves,
00:58:07	starts a few miles from here,
00:58:10	Runs into the foothills, continues to
00:58:17	Our cave is smack dab
00:58:22	It's all connected.
00:58:26	- Could you repeat that?
00:58:29	Hey, beneath this calm, sexy exterior
00:58:34	Whoa, guys! That one's moving.
00:58:42	What the hell is it doing?
00:58:47	It's trying to breathe.
00:58:59	That's like a big loogie!
00:59:19	Mazeltov. It's a boy.
00:59:25	It's oxygen tolerant.
00:59:35	It's fying away.
00:59:37	Only ifyou're a human being.
00:59:42	You know how much I hate shopping.
00:59:44	We need to find you something
00:59:46	I got enough clothes.
00:59:51	Tony, that color's great on you.
00:59:54	Whoa.
01:00:28	This might be the place.
01:00:39	Ever used one ofthese before?
01:00:41	Just 'cause I'm a school teacher,
01:00:43	Ladies, a fying extraterrestrial's
01:00:57	I'm in here.Just a minute.
01:01:02	Just a second, please.
01:01:05	I said,just a second, bitch!
01:01:12	How'd you like me to scratch
01:01:44	Here, birdy-birdy-birdy.
01:01:56	All right.
01:01:59	IfI was a giant, nasty alien bird
01:02:04	Lingerie.
01:02:05	- Notyou, the bird.
01:02:11	Help!
01:02:32	You go low. I'm going high.
01:02:34	Got it.
01:02:58	We'll never find it.
01:03:00	I lost him!
01:03:02	How doyou lose a 20-foot bird
01:03:05	Ira, I don't know.
01:03:10	What do we do now?
01:03:26	We've established that "ca-caw, ca-caw"
01:03:31	Right. Sorry.
01:03:34	What doyou say, Ira?
01:03:38	Youare
01:03:41	Sobeautifultome
01:03:45	Step back, Harry.
01:03:48	Stand down.
01:03:52	Give me a chance.
01:03:55	Youaresobeautiful
01:04:00	Tome
01:04:02	Wayne, would you please stop,
01:04:06	Can'tyousee
01:04:09	You're every--
01:04:18	You're everything
01:04:29	It's working.
01:04:31	Yeah, sing, sing.
01:04:33	Andyou're everythingIneed
01:04:42	Here he comes!
01:04:44	- Grab the girl. I'll get the bird.
01:05:16	All right! Nice shot.
01:05:19	I'm sorry. I swear to God
01:05:25	Good.
01:05:37	So what doyou want?
01:05:40	You have to ask?
01:05:48	It's dead now.
01:05:50	Yeah.
01:06:07	Got tostart to feelin'solow
01:06:11	AndIdecidedquickly
01:06:14	Yes, Idid
01:06:16	To disco downandcheck out theshow
01:06:19	Yeah, they were dancin'andsingin'
01:06:22	Andmovin'to thegroovin'
01:06:24	Andjust whenithitme
01:06:26	Somebodyturnedaroundandshouted
01:06:29	Play thatfunkymusic, whiteboy
01:06:33	Play thatfunkymusic right
01:06:35	I'mstandingat the edge of
01:06:39	wherejust below me there are dozens
01:06:44	We should stress to ourviewers that
01:06:49	I saw this ugly tentacle thing
01:06:52	It tried to grab my private parts.
01:06:54	Batted it away.
01:06:56	An atmosphere ofanxiety and confusion
01:07:00	We stand outside
01:07:02	awaiting comment from the governor's
01:07:07	ofthese extraordinary creatures.
01:07:23	Governor Lewis, this way.
01:07:26	Whywas I not informed that we have
01:07:31	I've got 400 media vultures outside my
01:07:37	I ought to throw all ofyou in prison.
01:07:40	Not that cushy federal place
01:07:43	State prison, with the crotch binders!
01:07:45	I'm sorry, but there were security
01:07:50	Wait a minute. No, no. Excuse me.
01:07:53	That's not exactly true,
01:07:56	I believe the Governor's question
01:07:59	Put a plug in it. I'm not interested
01:08:02	What I reallywant to know is
01:08:05	It's bad, Governor.
01:08:07	The new ground sensors
01:08:12	indicate a potential problem.
01:08:15	I don't know how to read this!
01:08:17	Somebody, please, take this ugly bag
01:08:21	- Allow me.
01:08:22	Dr. Allison Reed.
01:08:24	Carla, would you mind
01:08:29	The red markings indicate the growth
01:08:35	Unless we do something immediately,
01:08:40	Great merciful Christ.
01:08:43	In a week, the rest ofArizona.
01:08:49	In two months, the United States
01:08:53	And we are extinct.
01:08:55	You're shittin' me!
01:09:03	Come on, admit it.
01:09:06	I, for one, am glad to seeyou.
01:09:09	Hey, wejust blew a giant alien bird
01:09:12	We're covering upyour mess.
01:09:14	Governor, Dr. Ira Kane. I'm chairman of
01:09:19	My associate.
01:09:21	Harry Phineas Block, adjunct professor
01:09:24	Wayne Grey. Took some chemistry
01:09:30	You two gentlemen are the original
01:09:35	Yes, they are. And they're also
01:09:38	- Here we go.
01:09:40	They broke into the contained area
01:09:43	Causing the dissemination ofalien
01:09:47	- Liar, liar, pants on fire!
01:09:50	This is bullshit!
01:09:52	Shut up! Listen.
01:09:54	My state is being overrun
01:09:56	You're all supposed to be the experts.
01:10:01	How the hell areyou supposed
01:10:03	This is an outline ofthe infected area
01:10:09	Governor, my plan...
01:10:11	is to evacuate everyone from
01:10:14	Evacuation? You're talking
01:10:17	Yes, sir. We evacuate, make it safe...
01:10:20	and then burn the alien menace
01:10:23	With what?
01:10:25	With napalm.
01:10:29	Napalm? Why don'tyoujust nuke them
01:10:32	What about nukes?
01:10:35	Pull your horns in, boys.
01:10:37	All this talk about napalm and burning
01:10:41	It should. We don't know their reaction
01:10:45	Governor, it is time for
01:10:49	General, sorry to interrupt.
01:10:52	What?
01:10:55	Clear out.
01:10:59	What? You called me out for this?
01:11:02	Sir, one ofthe creatures
01:11:06	What's going on there?
01:11:11	My God!
01:11:16	That's a face for radio.
01:11:33	They took out six and seven.
01:11:35	All the monitors are down.
01:11:37	That can't be good.
01:11:40	That's the elevator.
01:11:43	We have no personnel down there.
01:11:45	They breached the air lock.
01:11:47	The no-nose chimp?
01:11:50	Call for backup.
01:11:54	We need backup!
01:12:01	Cover the elevator!
01:12:04	Stay back behind me.
01:12:05	Get the hell offme!
01:12:13	Be prepared to fire.
01:12:30	It's empty, sir.
01:12:48	The governor!
01:13:02	- Do something!
01:13:05	You'll get somebody killed.
01:13:31	Nice shot.
01:13:33	I'll take that now.
01:13:40	You have my full support to do whatever
01:13:45	You can melt the place to beaded glass
01:13:49	Just get these hell-blown creazoids
01:13:52	Thankyou, Governor.
01:13:55	Good.
01:13:56	- Where haveyou two been?
01:13:59	Get me out ofhere.
01:14:02	Science project's over.
01:14:04	I wantyou and your people gone.
01:14:07	- Soldier, escort these men out.
01:14:17	Don'tyou have work to do?
01:14:20	You are such an asshole.
01:14:26	When a woman expresses anger,
01:14:29	Shut up, Flemming.
01:14:33	Okay, I know where the car is.
01:14:37	Wipe my ass too?
01:14:40	Hey, guys?
01:14:43	Got room for one more?
01:14:46	Hell, yeah.
01:14:48	Who wants to be deputy director anyway?
01:14:55	- Areyou sure about this?
01:14:58	Listen, it may not seem like much, but
01:15:05	So, ifwe survive this,
01:15:14	Thankyou.
01:15:15	- It's nothing.
01:15:17	- No, I got it.
01:15:24	Sorry. Excuse me.
01:15:26	We haven't been formally introduced yet.
01:15:29	- Oh, hey, I'm kinda with him.
01:15:34	Buckle up, Allison. We're rolling.
01:15:36	Okay. Oh, goodness!
01:15:42	Facilitiesarebeingprovided
01:15:46	Pleasemove inan orderly fashion
01:15:57	They're gonna blow up the whole town.
01:16:23	Attention. Weneedto clearthisarea.
01:16:26	Foryourownsafety,
01:16:33	Can you make a beer run?
01:16:47	- Professor Kane!
01:16:51	This may not be the best time
01:17:01	I was your first.
01:17:03	We discovered you in that cave.
01:17:06	It was just you, me and Harry
01:17:10	Why don't you level with me?
01:17:12	You can trust me.
01:17:15	Just tell me the secret.
01:17:18	Tell me the answer.
01:17:21	You are losing it, pal.
01:17:25	What is that stuff?
01:17:28	Some ofthe original liquid material
01:17:31	- Why hasn't it evolved like the rest?
01:17:34	Maybe because it was refrigerated...
01:17:36	was locked in an airtight case,
01:17:39	But regardless, that doesn't give us
01:17:45	When did you start smoking?
01:17:47	Not much ofa point
01:18:09	Whoa!
01:18:16	These things react to fire
01:18:18	Fire.
01:18:21	The organisms were dormant in space and
01:18:25	And bam! Heat. Fire.
01:18:29	So ifa little match catalyzes this
01:18:36	So much for the military option.
01:18:44	Call that dick general.
01:18:52	That's a lot ofnapalm.
01:18:54	Yes, it is.
01:18:56	We're going to blow those damn creatures
01:18:59	We'll fush them out
01:19:01	then mop up the edges as they run
01:19:05	Excuse me, General.
01:19:08	She says she has important information
01:19:11	Really? Well, unfortunately,
01:19:21	Anything more?
01:19:23	No, sir.
01:19:31	He blew me off.
01:19:33	That bastard
01:19:35	You did call him an asshole.
01:19:38	- Hey, Dr. K. Time to party.
01:19:42	- I'll take one.
01:19:44	What areyou boys doing here?
01:19:46	We thoughtyou could use a brewski
01:19:49	Kick back and chill.
01:19:51	Have a beer, relax.
01:19:56	Whoa! Look at that thing!
01:19:59	Whoa! Can we have that when you guys
01:20:02	Fellas, thankyou foryour help
01:20:06	Hold it. Hold it.
01:20:09	- Look at that.
01:20:11	Selenium.
01:20:14	I'm looking at the Periodic Table on
01:20:18	- Take offyour shirt. I'll showyou.
01:20:21	No, I don't think so.
01:20:23	We are a carbon based life-form.
01:20:26	Keep pulling, Dr. K.
01:20:28	We move down here, and you've found
01:20:32	But the aliens are nitrogen based,
01:20:34	You make the same move down and over...
01:20:38	and where doyou find yourself?
01:20:40	- Selenium.
01:20:43	Could be as lethal to them
01:20:46	And with their metabolic rates,
01:20:52	Selenium. How much do we need?
01:20:58	Five hundred gallons could do it,
01:21:00	Five hundred gallons?
01:21:03	Um, I hate to be a buzzkill, but where
01:21:08	No problem.
01:21:10	Yeah, we can get that.
01:21:15	Head & Shoulders.
01:21:17	The dandruffshampoo?
01:21:19	Yeah, that's the stuff. The active
01:21:26	How doyou know that?
01:21:29	Haven'tyou noticed how shiny
01:21:36	Okay, this is the best idea we got.
01:21:40	Let's give it a shot. Come on.
01:21:42	Yeah! We'll get the troops together.
01:21:46	I've got the vehicle.
01:21:47	Good! Donalds, youjust gotyourA's.
01:21:51	Yes!
01:22:00	Almost full.
01:22:07	There's something I feel I should
01:22:11	Just say it. We're adults and we're all
01:22:17	So?
01:22:19	I would've rocked yourworld.
01:22:27	- You already have.
01:22:29	Battle stations! Lock and load!
01:22:35	- Can we continue this discussion later?
01:22:39	Let's do this!
01:22:42	Let's shampoo us some aliens!
01:23:04	Lots ofsoldiers around.
01:23:12	There's an abandoned mine halfa click
01:23:17	Halfa click? What areyou,
01:23:20	Hey, I'm digging this.
01:23:42	It's over here!
01:23:48	- You okay?
01:23:52	- Let's go!
01:23:56	You sure this leads
01:23:58	It'll lead us somewhere.
01:24:04	Where areyou?
01:24:10	Showyourself.
01:24:22	Warm to the touch.
01:24:28	Highly acidic.
01:24:30	We do not have time foryou to act
01:24:32	- What happened to the respect?
01:24:40	Very good.
01:24:41	- Are the troops in place?
01:24:43	Excellent. We can go early.
01:24:46	Oh, no. What is he doing here?
01:24:52	Governor Lewis.
01:24:54	I don't see anything burning.
01:24:57	We'rejust getting underway. Didn't know
01:25:01	You damn well better make it
01:25:03	That's General.
01:25:05	Not ifyou screw this up.
01:25:09	Thankyou.
01:25:11	I'll take a pair ofspy glasses
01:25:14	Give me a hose.
01:25:16	Get up top. When I giveyou the signal,
01:25:21	Got it.
01:25:42	Okay, we're gonna spray all around
01:25:50	Oh, blue monkey!
01:25:55	Wayne, charge the line now!
01:26:07	- That's the napalm!
01:26:21	Bad, bad, bad, bad!
01:26:23	Wayne, come on!
01:26:28	Okay, I'm out!
01:26:36	Oh! We gotta go!
01:26:42	Go! Go, go! Faster! Get up there!
01:26:46	- Go!
01:26:55	Quite the bonfire, General Woodman.
01:26:59	That can be arranged.
01:27:00	- First reports are excellent, sir.
01:27:07	Keep it together, Wayne.
01:27:10	Oh, my God.
01:27:19	What's happening?
01:27:22	- It's coming!
01:27:27	Get outta here!
01:27:30	General, look.
01:27:48	Hurry!
01:27:49	Drive!
01:27:50	Go! Go!
01:28:46	Fall back. Fall back!
01:28:53	What the hell is that thing?
01:28:56	The napalm forced an evolutionary
01:29:01	That's evolution?
01:29:03	Survival ofthe fittest. Often
01:29:08	It's freaking out.
01:29:10	It's starting to have some sort
01:29:14	No, that's not spazzing out.
01:29:18	It's getting ready to divide.
01:29:24	Mitosis.
01:29:26	Wait. There's gonna be more
01:29:30	Yeah, a lot more.
01:29:31	Its cycle's starting over again.
01:29:35	and doubling until it takes over.
01:29:37	Yeah, but we were here first.
01:29:42	So that Head & Shoulders idea,
01:29:50	I'm driving.
01:29:51	I don't care ifhe's on Air Force One.
01:29:55	I don't think this
01:29:58	Hey, what's that fire truck
01:30:18	Mama.
01:30:27	Can you believe this?
01:30:29	We gotta find a point ofattack.
01:30:36	There!
01:30:47	Nasty!
01:30:48	Allison, stop, stop.
01:30:53	- Here we go!
01:30:59	Feed me the hose, Deke!
01:31:02	- What areyou doing?
01:31:04	Not before me.
01:31:08	Go, go!
01:31:26	We don't have much time. Hurry!
01:31:35	- Left!
01:31:37	All right, I got it. I haven't had
01:31:43	Stop! Stop!
01:31:49	- What's going on?
01:31:52	What the hell are those guys doing
01:31:57	Looks like they're getting ready
01:32:00	We got one shot. Let's do this.
01:32:03	It's payback time!
01:32:11	Keep it in there!
01:32:13	What's it look like I'm doing?
01:32:17	It's working!
01:32:24	- Shit!
01:32:28	What the hell?
01:32:29	Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
01:32:32	Give me back my friend,
01:32:35	She's gonna blow!
01:32:37	Stop kicking!
01:32:38	It's horrible in here!
01:32:40	I gotyou!
01:32:42	- Please. Hold me.
01:32:44	Don't let me go!
01:32:50	We gotta get outta here.
01:32:52	You cannot imagine
01:32:55	Hurry up, guys!
01:32:57	Ira, don'tyou ever tell anyone
01:33:01	Dear Lord!
01:33:08	Uh-oh. Time to go.
01:33:13	- Go!
01:33:36	Whoa! We did it!
01:34:14	Here we go, sir.Just relax,
01:34:20	I am happy to report
01:34:23	ofthe alien menace
01:34:26	using the selenium shampoo formula
01:34:29	Now let me introduce our civilian
01:34:34	The best that the great state ofArizona
01:34:42	So, this is your moment.
01:34:45	You wouldn't want to miss this
01:34:48	Firstly, I would likeyou all
01:34:54	As oftoday,
01:34:58	I spoke to the chief.
01:35:00	Oh, thanks, Governor.
01:35:05	Now our next hero, Professor
01:35:10	and the winningest coach
01:35:13	I appreciate that, Governor.
01:35:15	First ofall, let's give it up to God.
01:35:19	Basically, wejust played tough defense,
01:35:22	and we were able to come away
01:35:24	Thankyou.
01:35:30	Finally...
01:35:33	Doctors Ira Kane and Allison Reed...
01:35:36	whose tireless efforts and research
01:35:42	I think he's giving her
01:35:59	Wow! Fighting the alien menace
01:36:02	And so is keeping your hair clean,
01:36:05	So it's a good thing that we always keep

Evolution