Extreme Movie

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00:00:14 ¶ Oh, darlin' ¶
00:00:18 ¶ I love you in the mornin' ¶
00:00:23 ¶ I love you
00:00:25 Chuck, you know I love you.
00:00:27 Of course, Betty
00:00:30 And I know I've made you wait
00:00:33 Yeah A long time.
00:00:37 Well, tonight, that all ends.
00:00:40 What do you mean?
00:00:42 Chuck...
00:00:44 tonight is the night
00:00:47 I'm ready to take things
00:00:50 Are you sure?
00:00:55 All right.
00:00:57 ¶ Whoa, darlin' ¶
00:01:03 ¶ Whatever I have to do ¶
00:01:07 ¶ Oh, pretty baby ¶
00:01:11 ¶ How I'm in love with you ¶
00:01:33 That was awesome.
00:01:35 Yeah.
00:01:37 But...
00:01:40 now that my virginity is behind us,
00:01:42 I think I'm ready to take things
00:01:46 What do you mean?
00:01:48 Come on, Chuck,
00:01:51 You know what I mean.
00:01:53 Anal
00:01:55 Seriously?
00:01:58 Yeah I love you, Chuck,
00:02:01 And that's why I want you
00:02:05 ¶ Giddy up, horsey ¶
00:02:07 ¶ Come on, let go ¶
00:02:13 Yeah
00:02:14 ¶ Who's riding your pony? ¶
00:02:17 ¶ Horny pony ¶
00:02:19 Oh, yeah
00:02:21 ¶ They've seldom seen
00:02:29 Wow
00:02:31 I know.
00:02:33 That fucking ruled!
00:02:36 But
00:02:37 But what?
00:02:39 Well
00:02:41 it's just now that
00:02:45 I think we're ready to
00:02:49 What other level is there?
00:02:52 Get an extension cord
00:02:57 Next level!
00:02:59 Who are they!?
00:03:01 Next level!
00:03:03 Ohh!
00:03:08 Next level!
00:03:11 Next level!
00:03:16 No more levels!
00:03:21 I'll be right back
00:03:32 Maybe I rushed things
00:03:54 ¶ Sex me up
00:03:58 ¶ Whatever you want
00:04:01 ¶ I'm into S and M,
00:04:05 ¶ And now don't you understand,
00:04:09 ¶ Sex me up
00:04:13 ¶ I get on the floor,
00:04:17 ¶ Get on my hands and knees,
00:04:20 ¶ I hope this never cease,
00:04:24 ¶ But she won't hold me
00:04:28 ¶ From what she told me,
00:04:31 ¶ But she won't hold me
00:04:35 ¶ From what she told me,
00:04:53 ¶ She said ¶
00:05:00 ¶ I said ¶
00:05:02 ¶ Sex me up
00:05:05 ¶ Sex me up and
00:05:09 ¶ Sex me up
00:05:18 Remember, students,
00:05:21 Gentlemen, pick up your free condoms
00:05:23 - and ladies, lubricant is available...
00:05:27 - Same chick as the night before?
00:05:29 I can't have the same chick
00:05:31 That's bordering on a relationship
00:05:34 See, this is exactly what I don't
00:05:37 He just goes out
00:05:39 that's how he does it
00:05:40 You can't sit around and wait
00:05:43 under the tree
00:05:44 Dude, how psyched are you
00:05:46 - Mr. Matthews' sex-ed class
00:05:50 I can’t wait to go in there and talk about
00:05:53 It's gonna be awesome, bro
00:05:55 No doubt, bro
00:06:00 I can't take this class
00:06:02 Why not?
00:06:04 Why not? Did you not
00:06:07 " -How much ass we've slammed?"
00:06:11 Exactly The class is just gonna be
00:06:14 who are open about their sex lives,
00:06:17 That's sad You're not bad-lookin'
00:06:21 I'm not gonna have sex
00:06:23 I know that’s what
00:06:25 Sorry, not gonna happen
00:06:27 Doesn't have to be just anybody
00:06:29 How about you start off with
00:06:34 Hey, Betty
00:06:35 Okay, everyone,
00:06:37 we got a lot to do,
00:06:40 I can feel the sexuality brewin'
00:06:44 - Oh, no Stacy's in this class?
00:06:47 You've been trying to tap that
00:06:49 This is an opportunity
00:06:51 Go talk to her!
00:06:53 - What would I say?
00:06:55 is for you to be yourself
00:06:58 Or just shake your dick at her
00:07:03 - Hello
00:07:05 Hey, Stacy
00:07:08 Looks like we're gonna be
00:07:11 What!?
00:07:12 Ed S... class
00:07:16 I'm sorry, I just... y'know
00:07:19 Bye
00:07:21 Yeah... talk to ya later
00:07:23 My name is Mr. Matthews
00:07:25 First off,
00:07:28 just a bunch of people
00:07:31 Right? So once you
00:07:34 you're comin' through
00:07:36 That's right... I said "bullshit"
00:07:39 Huh? We're keepin' it real
00:07:42 Fart, fuck, shit, cock, ass, cunty cunt!
00:07:45 All rightie
00:07:46 Now, listen up Teen sexuality
00:07:51 and we're gonna explore that concept
00:07:54 we can get our greasy little hands on
00:07:56 And you're gonna share
00:07:58 Hell, I've had sex with koi fish
00:08:00 There, I've said it
00:08:02 Sometimes you find me naked
00:08:05 at your local fast food restaurant
00:08:07 True story
00:08:08 Okay, let's do a little
00:08:12 I want each and every one of you
00:08:14 to decide that you're gonna
00:08:17 for the very first time
00:08:19 Okay, partner up, people!
00:08:22 Stacy needs a partner
00:08:24 Hell, screw the day
00:09:02 That's a good union there
00:09:08 - Mr. Matthews?
00:09:10 I don't think there's any girls left
00:09:14 Mike, human sexuality isn't always
00:09:17 Stand up, Doug
00:09:19 Class, I'd like to introduce you
00:09:21 Mike and Doug
00:09:24 Now, just because they'll be
00:09:27 man-on-man lovemaking
00:09:30 don't treat 'em any differently
00:09:32 Mike, I think
00:09:34 Okay
00:09:40 I'll be the stay-at-home-dad
00:09:42 What?
00:09:50 Mark
00:09:52 So, Matt, what advice do you
00:09:56 Advice Uh
00:09:58 guys, be responsible
00:10:01 You know, always wear a rubber
00:10:04 Of course, it feels way better
00:10:08 Unless, of course,
00:10:11 and then I think you just
00:10:13 As long as there's a naked chick
00:10:16 you are not gay
00:10:17 If you have an STD,
00:10:20 It is a lose-lose situation
00:10:23 Fellas, be nice to your partner
00:10:25 In the morning,
00:10:27 point her to the nearest bus stop
00:10:31 Be a good guy
00:10:35 Today one out of three
00:10:37 has a sexually transmitted disease.
00:10:40 And letting a former hook-up know
00:10:44 can be pretty hard.
00:10:49 Now there's an easier way!
00:10:51 At STD-E-CARDS, you can
00:10:57 Pick from such messages as,
00:11:00 "You gave me your heart,
00:11:03 or” Thanks for the blowjob...
00:11:09 It's from Kevin!
00:11:10 That hot guy
00:11:13 - Yeah
00:11:14 "Roses are red,
00:11:16 I gave you syphilis
00:11:23 That was easy
00:11:24 STD-E-CARDS,
00:11:34 Attention, students,
00:11:38 Get your free STD screening
00:11:47 - Hi, Carla
00:11:49 Hey, listen, um,
00:11:51 I know it's kind of last minute,
00:11:53 I wanted to know if you'd maybe
00:11:56 Oh, I'm sorry, Justin,
00:12:00 Three weeks ago
00:12:01 Oh... oh, okay
00:12:04 Well, have fun, though
00:12:32 Oh, check out your cock!
00:12:35 Oh! Oh, honey!
00:12:48 I've been using these
00:12:54 Can I help you?
00:12:55 Huh?
00:12:56 Uh... uh, no
00:13:10 Oh, honey...
00:13:16 She's a real beaut, isn't she?
00:13:55 This just isn't right
00:14:16 I wish we'd met years ago
00:14:20 My whole high school experience
00:14:23 ¶ Every day, the one thing
00:14:30 ¶ So much love ¶
00:14:33 ¶ It's like a river
00:14:38 ¶ So much love ¶
00:14:40 ¶ The minute it seems to stop,
00:14:45 ¶ So much love ¶
00:14:48 ¶ You've given me so much love ¶
00:14:53 ¶ Don't you know
00:15:00 I've always wanted
00:15:04 ¶ They brought me you,
00:15:07 ¶ Dreams come true
00:15:11 ¶ So much love ¶
00:15:16 Justin, I haven't seen you
00:15:19 I've been busy
00:15:21 Well, prom wasn't the same
00:15:23 - Really?
00:15:25 I was wondering if we could
00:15:28 - Me and you?
00:15:29 Maybe Saturday night?
00:15:33 And just when I thought
00:15:37 he pukes all over my dress
00:15:40 It was horrible
00:15:41 I'm sure you still
00:15:44 Thanks, but I didn't
00:15:46 I had vomit all over me
00:15:48 You're so amazing
00:16:02 What? No, that's ridiculous
00:16:04 I'm going to play poker
00:16:07 Don’t worry
00:16:20 Hello?
00:16:23 Anyone there?
00:16:24 Look, don't be a pussy,
00:16:28 Stop calling me!
00:16:31 Another prank call
00:16:37 I know what you're up to,
00:16:40 Leave Carla alone!
00:16:42 It's over between me and you
00:16:44 Get used to it!
00:16:51 Where were you this morning?
00:16:53 I thought you were gonna
00:16:54 Oh Sorry, I forgot
00:16:57 Well, you comin' to my game
00:16:59 Actually, I'm going to Len's party
00:17:02 You know what? There's someone else
00:17:05 Good-bye, Carla
00:17:09 Justin, where are you going?
00:17:21 What?
00:17:29 No!
00:17:35 Why?! Why did you do this!?
00:17:38 Someone call 911!
00:17:56 So what's the kinkiest thing
00:18:04 The two of us licked whipped cream
00:18:07 - That was fun Yeah
00:18:11 What about you?
00:18:13 I don't know
00:18:15 - Uh
00:18:18 - What if my parents are watching?
00:18:20 Does it have to be the kinkiest thing
00:18:25 No, it could have been
00:18:27 Well
00:18:29 this one time I had sex
00:18:31 while his best friend
00:18:33 and then I sucked both their dicks
00:18:35 That was kinda kinky
00:18:38 - What? Baby?
00:18:50 MR MATTHEWS
00:18:52 We got a lot to do
00:18:54 Wanna make sure we can
00:18:56 That's what she said Ha ha ha!
00:18:59 You've gotta sit next to Stacy
00:19:01 Yeah, man, don't be scared
00:19:04 All right,
00:19:06 This is great
00:19:08 Okay
00:19:10 let's talk about penises
00:19:13 That's right, everyone
00:19:15 I said the big P-word
00:19:17 Now, the most common question:
00:19:21 Simple answer: There's no such thing
00:19:24 Penises come in a variety
00:19:27 Huh? All rightie!
00:19:30 As you can tell from the molds
00:19:35 Got 'em all different
00:19:38 Now, the next
00:19:42 It's short and stocky,
00:19:45 kablooey!
00:19:47 Like a sawed-off shotgun, I tell ya
00:19:50 This one's called the Tadpole
00:19:53 Because it's got a larger head
00:19:57 We like to call this guy
00:20:01 Yeah I thought
00:20:04 Now, this is an interesting one
00:20:06 Looks small, but if you
00:20:08 I tell ya, it's quite a powerful weapon
00:20:10 It's called the Torpedo
00:20:13 Or the Meat Cone
00:20:14 'Cause it's got a tiny head
00:20:17 Nice
00:20:19 Hand that guy around,
00:20:21 We like to call that one
00:20:23 Next we have what's called
00:20:27 - That's right
00:20:28 We also like to call this
00:20:31 Ladies, you're gonna love
00:20:36 Okay, this next one's interesting,
00:20:42 It's the Doubleheader,
00:20:44 It is out there, believe me
00:20:47 Okay, everyone, pass 'em around
00:20:49 Look 'em up and down
00:20:51 NOW freeze!
00:20:53 Okay Gentlemen,
00:20:57 that is your penis
00:21:00 Ladies, put your penises down
00:21:02 and partner up with
00:21:06 Looks like we got a small one, huh?
00:21:09 Yeah
00:21:10 Okay, now I'm gonna hand out
00:21:14 Here ya go,
00:21:16 Now, ladies and gentlemen,
00:21:17 I'm gonna have you put the condom
00:21:23 Okay, the reason I'm having you
00:21:26 is because contraception
00:21:31 Have to say that Sorry
00:21:38 Mike, it looks like you got
00:21:40 That's because, Mike,
00:21:45 Okay, everyone,
00:21:48 Now, a fetish is basically
00:21:52 black leather... and bits,
00:21:55 Who likes a ball in their mouth?
00:22:01 Oh, baby, you look so good
00:22:03 - You wanna do it now, baby?
00:22:05 Okay
00:22:10 No, wait
00:22:13 What?
00:22:17 This
00:22:19 You want me to wear a hat?
00:22:21 Oh, yeah, baby,
00:22:24 - Okay
00:22:29 Wait Uh, you know what else
00:22:33 What?
00:22:37 This big mole
00:22:38 What?! Ew!
00:22:40 It's hot Trust me
00:22:42 For me?
00:22:43 Fine
00:22:47 - Now can we do it?
00:23:06 Ronny... what the hell!?
00:23:07 - What?
00:23:09 but you clearly want to
00:23:11 That's crazy!
00:23:14 Is it?
00:23:17 - You're obsessed with him
00:23:20 What's wrong with paying tribute?
00:23:24 Paying tribute is one thing...
00:23:25 trying to turn your girlfriend into him
00:23:29 I'm outta here
00:23:34 Sue...
00:23:40 That was my last beard
00:23:42 TV Announcer:
00:23:44 Or is all hopeless for our heroines?
00:23:46 Will Alice and Betty make it home?
00:23:48 Find out next on Babes Lost in Time!
00:23:53 Time
00:24:40 Forward into the past!
00:24:43 Here I come, Abe!
00:26:54 Ladies, you do not...
00:26:56 I repeat, you do not have to
00:27:01 But it helps
00:27:03 Want to remain a virgin
00:27:05 Two words: Butt sex
00:27:07 Look, if you like to be choked,
00:27:11 Just don't go too far
00:27:13 Blue is a warning sign
00:27:21 So, what's the kinkiest thing
00:27:28 - Well, um, check it:
00:27:29 I'm at the club one night,
00:27:32 So next you know
00:27:34 and she lets me take her back
00:27:36 and she did me and him
00:27:39 - And then she blew us
00:27:41 Whoo, man!
00:27:44 Hey, you know, uh, shit,
00:27:47 That little woman had a big ol'
00:27:49 - Where'd she get that?
00:27:52 in that motherfucker,
00:27:54 She was small, but she did
00:27:56 - Hey, Kim, holler at your boy!
00:28:01 The women spend most
00:28:06 - adding a new ring each year.
00:28:08 They probably like it
00:28:10 Yeah
00:28:12 I know they do
00:28:14 Holy crap!
00:28:16 It's Saturday night and you guys
00:28:19 - You're pathetic
00:28:22 You never knock!
00:28:24 Stupid
00:28:26 He's right, you know
00:28:27 - I mean, this is pathetic
00:28:30 It's not like we can actually get laid
00:28:33 Unless we come up with a way
00:28:35 to build an artificial woman
00:28:39 And then program her
00:28:43 You're a genius!
00:28:44 This is stupid, Barry
00:28:46 Shut up
00:28:48 Are you sure you know
00:28:49 Relax! We're gonna give her
00:28:52 - and Beyonce's ass
00:28:53 - Tyra's boobs
00:28:55 Tyra's probably got bigger
00:28:57 Now all that's left to do is
00:28:59 Like really, really horny, though
00:29:01 See this pair of panties, right?
00:29:03 Where'd you get those from?
00:29:05 All right Are you ready
00:29:06 - I'm ready
00:29:15 Ow! I told you
00:29:17 Be quiet, Leon I'm thinking
00:29:25 Oh, shit!
00:29:27 So, who gonna fuck me first!?
00:29:30 Him! Him!
00:29:33 What the hell just happened!?
00:29:34 The panties, they was my aunt's
00:29:38 What you waitin' for? My pussy
00:29:41 What? What you say?
00:29:43 Who would say that?
00:29:44 Where you goin?'
00:29:46 Leon!
00:29:48 Leon!
00:29:49 Well
00:29:50 I guess that means you first
00:29:53 No It don't... it don't have to mean that
00:29:54 Come give mama
00:29:57 What you talkin' about?
00:29:59 I'm your human sex toy,
00:30:05 You don't even have to wear
00:30:13 Save your energy!
00:30:30 Come out, come out,
00:30:42 You're too big for me!
00:30:44 Your ball sack is about to get drained!
00:30:47 Let me go! Please, Jesus!
00:30:54 You were good.
00:30:57 I don’t want no more
00:31:00 No! I don’t want it!
00:31:03 You broke my bed
00:31:14 She's so big. Why is she so big?
00:31:17 I musta... I probably hit F1
00:31:20 Here I come!
00:31:23 And this time your ass cherry
00:31:28 No, it's not! No, it's not!
00:31:30 It's my ass cherry! It's not yours!
00:31:37 Barry? Leon?
00:31:45 "Press Enter now?"
00:31:54 ¶ Yeah ¶
00:31:55 ¶ You're lookin' good, baby ¶
00:31:57 Whoa!
00:32:00 You're cute How old are you?
00:32:03 Old enough
00:32:05 ¶ Ooh-whoo!
00:32:08 ¶ Here we go ¶
00:32:13 I know you're probably too young
00:32:17 but take it from me,
00:32:18 if you find somebody that you want
00:32:23 there's nothing better
00:32:25 Thanks, sweetie
00:32:27 But before you get married,
00:32:29 make sure you explore
00:32:32 and bone as many chicks
00:32:36 Well, ladies, be sure you take
00:32:42 I banged at least fifty guys
00:32:44 before I met this asshole
00:32:48 And a group of girls, too
00:32:49 It was no accident that I invited
00:32:54 on the same day
00:32:56 - Ohh
00:32:59 Guys, listen up
00:33:01 If you're planning on having
00:33:03 you better to do it
00:33:06 But trust me,
00:33:11 than two women making out
00:33:15 I almost forgot
00:33:16 Book yourself a ticket to...
00:33:18 Try sleeping with
00:33:22 and his brother
00:33:23 at the wedding reception
00:33:25 Very hot
00:34:05 Great
00:34:29 Ohh
00:34:32 Ohh
00:34:33 Ooh, that's nice
00:34:38 Oh, why didn't I think of this before?
00:34:46 Oh, shit
00:34:51 Ohh! Ohh!
00:34:55 Damn it, damn it, damn it!
00:34:57 Honey, dinner's ready
00:34:59 Oh, my God
00:35:02 Oh, this is bad
00:35:07 Can you pass the mashed potatoes,
00:35:09 - Certainly
00:35:13 Mm Everything
00:35:22 Did you pick up
00:35:25 Yeah, they gave them out
00:35:28 They did?
00:35:40 Honey, is your vagina ringing?
00:35:43 Dad! That's ridiculous
00:35:50 Sounded like it
00:35:55 Okay, I think we've learned a lot here
00:36:00 I'll see ya all tomorrow
00:36:02 Now, remember your permission slips
00:36:04 Now, these permission slips
00:36:07 Now if you can't find your parents,
00:36:08 they're in their bedroom, doing it
00:36:14 - He'd probably use the toys
00:36:18 Hey, Stacey Jess
00:36:20 - Hey
00:36:37 Uh, so listen, Stacey, um...
00:36:39 Mike,
00:36:45 - Later?
00:36:47 - Awesome
00:36:56 So, Mike,
00:36:58 how are things going
00:37:01 Oh, uh, great
00:37:03 You know, we're really good friends
00:37:05 Hey, hey!
00:37:08 I know you're into Stacy
00:37:15 Yeah, I mean, I don't know
00:37:17 - Hmm Hmm
00:37:19 What do I do?
00:37:22 That's a good question
00:37:24 You don't
00:37:25 I don't?
00:37:27 No, you don't
00:37:30 You see, Mike, a girl like Stacy
00:37:34 Way
00:37:37 What? What do you mean?
00:37:39 I thought you were
00:37:41 and there are no rules
00:37:44 I am Just not when it comes
00:37:47 You see, Mike, a girl like Stacy,
00:37:51 boy, you'd need like a truckload
00:37:55 and a vat of malt liquor
00:37:57 Really mellow her out,
00:38:00 But not knock her out
00:38:03 - What?
00:38:05 you need to go after
00:38:07 You need to find somebody
00:38:11 pretty-err
00:38:13 You might have to go up
00:38:16 a little more than
00:38:18 buck-fifty, two bills... I'm not sure
00:38:21 Somebody who hasn't seen
00:38:24 Acne scars, fangs for teeth,
00:38:27 - retarded, if you will
00:38:30 Hey, sometimes keepin' it real hurts,
00:38:34 But in the end,
00:38:38 Now go out there
00:38:41 Or a whore
00:38:44 Good talk
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00:39:30 Come on, guys
00:39:32 Flaccitra.
00:39:42 Mmm, this is nice, baby
00:39:54 Lindsey, relax Everybody farts
00:39:57 This is huge.
00:39:59 We've crossed the Fart Barrier
00:40:01 Really?
00:40:03 Ahh
00:40:05 See? It's nothin!'
00:40:16 I do feel comfortable with you
00:41:16 Damn!
00:41:18 Now, that's just nasty.
00:41:31 Oh, my God! Oh, yes!
00:41:34 Hey, man, she was riding you
00:41:37 Hold on, hold on
00:41:39 - Wait for it
00:41:42 Now
00:41:45 Oh, my God!
00:41:47 Whoo
00:41:48 Let me introduce you
00:41:51 Griffin, this chick is amazing
00:41:53 Which is why I invited her
00:41:54 Yes, sir
00:41:56 And we're gonna be right here
00:41:58 Got your little sister's baby monitor
00:42:00 And we're gonna have the other end
00:42:03 No Not happening, guys
00:42:05 - Not happening?
00:42:06 - Yes Yes
00:42:08 Well, that's what you think
00:42:09 - Oh Too late
00:42:12 Go ahead
00:42:17 - Hi, I'm... I'm Mike
00:42:22 ¶ Oh, my God ¶
00:42:23 ¶ Oh, shit ¶
00:42:26 ¶ Oh, my God ¶
00:42:28 ¶ I can't believe this ¶
00:42:31 Come here
00:42:33 ¶ Oh, shit ¶
00:42:36 Whoa, you're taking your shirt off
00:42:39 it's kinda tough for me to say no.
00:42:41 You hear that, man?
00:42:44 - It's on!
00:42:46 Put it in me
00:42:50 Why... why don't I just grab
00:42:54 ¶ Oh, my God,
00:42:57 Oh, hell no, man, is it broke?
00:43:03 What are you waiting for?
00:43:06 I'm sorry I...
00:43:08 I can't do this
00:43:09 What?
00:43:11 There's this girl in my high school,
00:43:14 Great I didn't have a back-up plan
00:43:16 Now I've gotta go fuck a trucker
00:43:20 a homeless guy
00:43:23 Do you possibly think that maybe
00:43:26 Just so you know
00:43:29 Your friend said that
00:43:34 Last chance
00:43:41 Man, all the settin' up we did,
00:43:45 He's definitely pussing out
00:43:46 Let's go see what's going on
00:43:49 You like that, don't you?
00:43:50 Ha ha! We back in action!
00:43:53 Yeah, Mike!
00:43:57 Man, you hear that?
00:43:59 Yeah!
00:44:03 Ride it! Ride it!
00:44:04 My boy's goin' strong to the hole,
00:44:08 - She's going nuts!
00:44:10 Ahem
00:44:14 Hi Have you guys
00:44:25 Oh, Mike! You're so big!
00:44:28 Ahh! Ahh! Oh, Mike,
00:44:35 Cover your ears! I'm about to cum!
00:44:38 I'm Cumming! I'm Cumming!
00:44:40 Aaah! Aaah! Aaah! Aaah!
00:44:42 Oh! Oh! You're such a beast!
00:44:45 I'm your big daddy
00:44:46 Mike, I'm... cover your ears!
00:44:49 Shh! Shh! Oh! Oh!
00:44:52 All right, home stretch
00:44:53 Oh, like that! Oh, like that!
00:44:56 Oh, my God, oh, my God
00:45:00 I'm in love, Mike
00:45:04 I love you, Mike
00:45:06 ¶ Let them know you worked it,
00:45:10 So was it as good for you guys
00:45:16 You know, I would tell you
00:45:19 but it sounds like you just did
00:45:25 Now, Suzy,
00:45:27 so I'm just gonna come right out and say it.
00:45:29 Say it.
00:45:31 I've been
00:45:34 - Hank, come on
00:45:36 You know I made
00:45:39 I promised myself I'd wait
00:45:40 it was with the right guy
00:45:43 I thought I was the right guy
00:45:45 You might be
00:45:47 I'm just not sure yet
00:45:49 But I like you a lot
00:46:03 Hi, sexually frustrated teenager!
00:46:05 I'm Blue Bally!
00:46:07 And if you and your girlfriend
00:46:09 you're gonna wind up with
00:46:12 That's right!
00:46:16 Aw, don't be afraid
00:46:20 You've been stiff as a board
00:46:24 That means you're reaching
00:46:26 where that good tingly feeling
00:46:29 can quickly turn into
00:46:34 Wh... what do you mean?
00:46:36 See, Hank, right now
00:46:39 and only a little bit's dripping out
00:46:41 That's called pre-cum
00:46:43 What you want to do is ejaculate
00:46:46 Otherwise, that back up of jizz
00:46:49 to the point of making you nauseous
00:46:51 In fact, your genitals can increase
00:46:57 - So, what do I do?
00:47:00 even if your girlfriend
00:47:03 the least you should be able to do
00:47:08 Judy?
00:47:10 L... I want you to know that
00:47:14 And I've known that since the first time
00:47:19 Uh-huh
00:47:21 uh-huh
00:47:24 uh-huh
00:47:28 - Uh-oh That's not good
00:47:31 With that kind of arousal,
00:47:34 before full-on irreversible
00:47:38 You better go to the bathroom
00:47:41 - Here?
00:47:42 There's no time to waste!
00:47:43 Go! Get going!
00:47:52 Oh, yeah, you won't
00:47:54 Blue Bally!
00:47:57 Hope you like sloppy seconds!
00:48:01 Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!
00:48:06 Man, I'm never gonna get laid
00:48:08 No, you're not
00:48:11 - Did you?
00:48:12 I met in her in Teen lonely boys
00:48:15 'Cause I figure I'm a teen
00:48:17 Anyways, it's crazy,
00:48:20 there's not a lot of girls
00:48:22 It's mostly older guys
00:48:25 That's kind of creepy
00:48:27 It is at first, but, you know,
00:48:29 once I made it clear
00:48:31 in the market for a teen girl,
00:48:33 ladies were just
00:48:35 And now I have a girlfriend
00:48:38 Isn't that a guy's name?
00:48:40 It's both I...
00:48:41 I mean, she says
00:48:44 - She send you a picture?
00:48:49 Most of them are naked
00:48:52 Well, maybe I'll give it a try
00:48:54 And maybe if you're lucky someday,
00:49:09 "Sweeety Pi"
00:49:11 Accept
00:49:14 Hi.
00:49:18 Hi.
00:49:21 Sex chat?
00:49:24 Sure.
00:49:26 Okay. I'm dressed in a tight mini-dress
00:49:30 I'm completely alone and vulnerable.
00:49:32 Then you appear out of the shadows.
00:49:34 You wear all black,
00:49:38 You approach me menacingly
00:49:43 Hey, what's up.
00:49:48 Was that wrong?
00:49:49 Menacing.
00:49:51 Okay
00:49:52 What are you doing in my alley?
00:49:55 Oh, no. You stay away from me.
00:49:57 I'm lost, alone, and half-naked.
00:50:00 But I have Mace.
00:50:05 Okay, sorry, no problem.
00:50:08 Be aggressive. I want it.
00:50:13 Oh Weird
00:50:16 I'm afraid I don't care about Mace.
00:50:20 Sexually.
00:50:22 That was amazing.
00:50:26 Come to 429 Covington Avenue,
00:50:29 tomorrow night at 10:00.
00:50:30 Wear a mask.
00:50:33 Don't break character.
00:50:41 - Oh, hello, dear
00:50:43 Doing anything special tonight?
00:50:45 Nope, just baking cookies
00:50:49 Oh
00:51:22 Just a second!
00:51:28 Did somebody order the rape?
00:51:30 Aaaah!
00:51:32 Whoo! Oooh!
00:51:34 So far so good
00:51:36 Uh, you can run but you can't hide
00:51:38 from forced sexual intercourse,
00:51:40 you know what I mean ma'am?
00:51:44 Get out!
00:51:45 God, be careful!
00:51:49 I mean, you won't be so feisty
00:51:53 Sexually
00:52:01 I'm bleeding!
00:52:04 That won’t stop me!
00:52:13 No, you don't
00:52:15 Oh
00:52:16 I'm sorry, I'll pay for this
00:52:18 You stay back I'm warning you!
00:52:19 Uh, I'm scared, yeah, yeah
00:52:22 Oh, my God!
00:52:31 What is it?! What is it!?
00:52:36 Oh, God!
00:52:38 Aaaah!
00:52:45 Did somebody order the rape?
00:52:58 Fred
00:52:59 Oh Hey, Betty
00:53:00 - Hey
00:53:02 What's wrong?
00:53:03 Oh, it's just been kind of
00:53:05 It's a long story, though
00:53:07 You know, Fred,
00:53:09 we've been friends
00:53:11 Yeah Yeah, we have
00:53:13 Maybe it's time we take things
00:53:15 Next level?
00:53:18 Wow
00:53:25 Next level!
00:53:28 Hey, baby, this is for you.
00:53:30 I love you.
00:53:33 I hope you enjoy.
00:53:54 Kat, can I borrow
00:53:56 Uh, yeah, sure.
00:54:08 Ohh! Ow!
00:54:24 I'm not in Leave a message
00:54:27 Hey, girl, it's Billy Sharpe
00:54:29 Thanks for rockin' my world
00:54:34 Sorry about that.
00:54:40 Oh, shoot! Aaaah!
00:54:43 Nice titties!
00:54:53 Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
00:54:55 ¶ Put the south in your mouth,
00:55:02 ¶ Put the south in your mouth,
00:55:11 ¶ Let me slop my biscuit
00:55:21 I'm gonna do it
00:55:22 I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do it,
00:55:24 I'm there I'm there
00:55:35 ¶ Put the south in your mouth,
00:55:39 I wanna kiss your mouth
00:55:43 Mm, tastes like blueberry
00:55:46 So good...
00:55:50 Oh, God
00:55:53 Mmm
00:56:00 Hi
00:56:03 Hi
00:56:09 You look like
00:56:12 Um
00:56:15 I had a... a really bad dream
00:56:20 Oh, sweetie
00:56:21 It's okay
00:56:23 Come here
00:56:31 I had an amazing time last night
00:56:36 Oh l'm sorry
00:56:39 Do you have a toilet?
00:56:40 Oh Yeah, it's right over there
00:56:43 Ohh
00:56:50 Mmm long night
00:56:56 - Hello
00:56:59 Who the hell are you?
00:57:02 Why don't you ask your dick?
00:57:04 What is going on here?
00:57:06 - Relax, Len
00:57:09 Uh, I usually like to know
00:57:11 who's fucking my mouth
00:57:13 Nobody fucked anybody's mouth
00:57:15 Fine Nobody fucked
00:57:18 And I guess
00:57:19 nobody was three knuckles deep
00:57:24 Jesus Christ, what were you doing,
00:57:26 reaching for, like, a winning
00:57:28 I could feel you in
00:57:33 Oh, look what the cat
00:57:35 - Do you have any matches?
00:57:38 I'll air that out All right?
00:57:40 What I need right now
00:57:44 My parents are coming home
00:57:45 and I need to start cleaning up
00:57:46 Sorry Dick hair
00:57:48 Those weren't your parents
00:57:50 My parents are in Cancun
00:57:52 Yeah Yeah Right.
00:57:56 If you say your parents aren't here,
00:57:59 then we'll just believe that
00:58:01 Maybe it was your aunt and uncle
00:58:03 I don't care I came here to fuck
00:58:06 and get fucked.
00:58:07 And you know, I got fucked
00:58:10 Okay Very funny
00:58:12 The, uh, the joke's over
00:58:14 This has been a delightful little prank
00:58:16 but now it's time for you
00:58:19 and please get the hell
00:58:22 Yeah
00:58:24 You're right
00:58:27 After we invited you
00:58:30 I got blueberry yogurt and I smeared it
00:58:34 to make it look like
00:58:37 And then I dig my fingers
00:58:40 and put some of my butt stink
00:58:43 And then I put some moisturizer
00:58:48 to make it look like
00:58:50 Pooh! Yeah! All a joke
00:58:53 Please just get the hell out
00:58:57 - Fine
00:59:01 Please, just... just leave
00:59:04 Ooh So kind
00:59:17 If you say
00:59:20 then we'll just believe
00:59:22 Maybe it was your aunt and uncle.
00:59:31 Oh thank God
00:59:47 Oh, please, God,
00:59:50 I swear I'll never drink again
01:00:01 Hello
01:00:03 So, you guys are home early
01:00:08 Did you just get in?
01:00:15 How was your second honeymoon?
01:00:18 Oh! No!
01:00:24 Get the hell out of our sight
01:00:30 Okay
01:00:32 How could you!?
01:00:34 How could you!?
01:00:37 Ohh!
01:00:45 Len, can we talk?
01:00:47 Um, just a minute
01:00:55 What, you been doing a little
01:00:58 Oh, God, Dad, no This... it's not...
01:01:00 Your mother and I are
01:01:02 Well, uh...
01:01:03 Look at her
01:01:05 - You don't understand
01:01:07 I have one question for you,
01:01:11 Have you been sneaking
01:01:13 and being on a hidden camera show?
01:01:16 - What?
01:01:20 No No, no, no, no, no!
01:01:25 They were in there
01:01:28 Gotcha!
01:01:30 No!
01:01:31 Hey, buddy!
01:01:32 Fuck anybody in their mouth
01:01:36 Look at his face!
01:01:38 How could you do this to me?
01:01:39 Wait Who am I?
01:01:45 We roofied you, honey
01:01:51 Wait, wait, wait...
01:01:53 and you didn't fuck me?
01:01:54 Well, I fucked you a little,
01:02:06 Mr. Tight Sphincter
01:02:09 Mark
01:02:11 Fellas, personal advice
01:02:14 Get in there
01:02:16 Visually, it will give yourself
01:02:19 If you're having anal intercourse,
01:02:21 whatever you do,
01:02:23 pull out and deposit your sperm
01:02:27 She'll appreciate it in the long run
01:02:30 Alcohol and sex don't mix
01:02:33 Cocaine and sex
01:02:35 If you don't have a rubber,
01:02:38 Watch this Ready?
01:02:40 "Hold on a sec, babe
01:02:45 And then pantomime
01:02:48 "Oh! It's so small! The rubber"
01:02:53 And then
01:02:56 She'll never know
01:03:00 - Damn!
01:03:02 Ohh, what died?
01:03:04 Girl, you gotta stop
01:03:11 - Hey, pretty sweet field trip, huh?
01:03:15 So, Stacy,
01:03:18 Hey, man, I'm gonna
01:03:21 - Uh
01:03:22 You know what, it can wait
01:03:24 Hey, man, fake any orgasms lately?
01:03:27 - Fuck off
01:03:30 Ew
01:03:32 Are you okay?
01:03:34 Yeah
01:03:35 Why is that guy so tall?
01:03:38 Great Yeah, I should be okay
01:03:40 I'll just go try to clean up
01:03:42 - Uh, see you inside?
01:03:52 Sorry!
01:04:09 Guys
01:04:10 Can someone
01:04:14 Hello?
01:04:17 - Hello?
01:04:20 Everybody's waiting for you
01:04:27 Oh, yeah
01:04:35 - Oh, yeah
01:04:42 Licking, licking
01:04:44 - Oh! Oh!
01:04:46 Oh, yeah!
01:04:51 ¶ Keep 'em shakin' ¶
01:04:56 ¶ Show 'em to me ¶
01:04:58 ¶ Tits ¶
01:05:01 Ohh, yeah!
01:05:03 That's it, Nance
01:05:05 Cut!
01:05:08 Nancy, nice licking
01:05:10 Very good sucking, too
01:05:13 - Okay, he's here
01:05:16 Listen, I know it's your first day,
01:05:17 but we got some stuff to shoot,
01:05:19 - Uh... wha...
01:05:21 The way I view this film,
01:05:23 it's a spiritual successor
01:05:26 only with a lot more fucking Ha ha!
01:05:30 Uh, right Um, you guys,
01:05:33 I'm really looking forward
01:05:36 Jackie and I are especially curious
01:05:40 Oh, I can't wait to wrap
01:05:44 the biggest penis in the biz
01:05:46 "Penis"? I haven't heard
01:05:49 - I usually just call it "dinner"
01:05:51 Okay, everybody on set!
01:05:56 I told you they wouldn’t
01:05:57 Oh, man, how was
01:05:59 - Oh, man! Sweet car!
01:06:02 You've just helped these girls
01:06:04 And so to repay you,
01:06:07 Now, Nancy right here,
01:06:10 Then you're gonna do
01:06:13 Bro, check this out
01:06:15 After that,
01:06:17 All right
01:06:22 Hey, you gonna need a fluffer?
01:06:24 Uh... uh...
01:06:27 All rightie
01:06:28 let's see that gigundo-cock
01:06:31 And action!
01:06:35 Thank you so much
01:06:38 How can we ever repay you?
01:06:54 What?
01:06:58 - Cut!
01:07:01 I'm Gigundo-cock
01:07:06 Damn
01:07:14 ¶ Yeah, I'm not Gigundo-cock ¶
01:07:18 ¶ I'm just a small-town hick ¶
01:07:22 ¶ An 18-year-old virgin ¶
01:07:26 ¶ With a super-tiny dick ¶
01:07:31 ¶ Kid, I've seen this once before ¶
01:07:35 ¶ A boy who wished
01:07:39 ¶ Found he couldn't
01:07:43 ¶ That's right,
01:07:48 ¶ It wasn’t my first choice ¶
01:07:52 ¶ My parents think
01:07:56 ¶ I thought I'd be doing theater ¶
01:07:59 ¶ On Broadway ¶
01:08:03 ¶ We're just accidentally ¶
01:08:04 ¶ Incidentally, unintentionally
01:08:08 ¶ Accidentally, incidentally,
01:08:12 ¶ Making porn ¶
01:08:13 ¶ Not me, I do it 'cause
01:08:19 ¶ Girl-on-girl pays fifty bucks ¶
01:08:23 ¶ I get double
01:08:27 ¶ How I got here
01:08:32 ¶ Beats Mexico
01:08:35 ¶ All these tits
01:08:38 ¶ We're the ones
01:08:40 ¶ Let us be your man-whores ¶
01:08:43 ¶ Will someone show these assholes
01:08:50 ¶ I found my home here ¶
01:08:53 ¶ On this porn set ¶
01:08:56 ¶ Better hurry up
01:09:19 Fuck yeah!
01:09:27 Wow Thanks for being
01:09:31 I feel like I should tell you, though,
01:09:32 I don't really think
01:09:35 You've got balls, kid
01:09:37 very large balls
01:09:39 You show that kind of confidence
01:09:42 you're gonna be fine, just fine
01:09:47 All right, let's reset
01:09:48 Back to one
01:10:00 Dude, what happened in there
01:10:02 Yo, bro, do you know those chicks?
01:10:13 Yeah, Mike!
01:10:15 Dude, yes!
01:10:22 Whoa
01:10:25 Look, Stacy
01:10:28 I'm not sexually experienced,
01:10:30 and I'm not some famous porn star
01:10:35 Look, I'm just some regular kid
01:10:39 very beautiful girl
01:10:43 Don't call past 10:00
01:10:46 My dad'll kill me
01:10:51 Screw her for me, dude!
01:11:04 Fellas, you gotta be respectful
01:11:06 Whatever you do, don't go around
01:11:09 all the gruesome details
01:11:11 But me, on the other hand,
01:11:14 I like all dirty stuff
01:11:15 This website will go directly to me,
01:11:19 Send me all pictures,
01:11:22 as bizarre as you want
01:11:24 I'll read them all,
01:11:26 Thank you I'm Matthew Lillard
01:11:36 ¶ She's got that kind of booty ¶
01:11:38 ¶ Little mama,
01:11:40 ¶ She's got that kind of booty ¶
01:11:42 ¶ The type that'll drive you looney ¶
01:11:44 ¶ She's got that kind of booty,
01:11:47 ¶ Smack it up, let's make a movie,
01:11:51 ¶ Shake that booty, cutie,
01:11:55 ¶ That big ol' juicy brown ass,
01:11:58 ¶ Kick it smooth like Luther Vandy,
01:12:02 ¶ In the middle of M-I-ami,
01:12:06 ¶ We can do it in a big ol' bed ¶
01:12:07 ¶ Long as you give me
01:12:09 ¶ Yeah, girl, that's what I said,
01:12:13 ¶ She's got that kind of booty ¶
01:12:15 ¶ Little mama,
01:12:17 ¶ She's got that kind of booty,
01:12:20 ¶ She's got that kind of booty ¶
01:12:22 ¶ Pack it up and bring it to me ¶
01:12:24 ¶ Smack it up,
01:12:26 ¶ She's got that kind of booty ¶
01:12:27 ¶ Shorty got that fat ass ¶
01:12:29 ¶ Gets 'em harder than a math class ¶
01:12:31 ¶ Smilin', don't you act up,
01:12:34 ¶ Go ahead and drop that ass low,
01:12:38 ¶ Nobody has to know,
01:12:42 ¶ You sippin' champagne,
01:12:46 ¶ You do that damn thing,
01:12:49 ¶ She's got that kind of booty ¶
01:12:51 ¶ Little mama,
01:12:53 ¶ She's got that kind of booty ¶
01:12:55 ¶ The type that'll drive you looney ¶
01:12:57 ¶ She's got that kind of booty ¶
01:12:58 ¶ Pack it up and bring it to me ¶
01:13:00 ¶ Smack it up, let's make a movie ¶
01:13:02 ¶ She's got that kind of booty ¶
01:13:04 ¶ Shake that booty,
01:13:07 ¶ Shake that booty,
01:13:11 ¶ Up and down the stripper pole,
01:13:15 ¶ You know my package, right?
01:13:18 ¶ Lady, what you gotta do
01:13:22 ¶ Nobody move you like I do,
01:13:25 ¶ They counted Tallahassee classic
01:13:29 ¶ Girlie, let me be your daddy
01:13:33 ¶ She's got that kind of booty ¶
01:13:35 ¶ Little mama,
01:13:36 ¶ She's got that kind of booty ¶
01:13:38 ¶ The type that'll drive you looney ¶
01:13:40 ¶ She's got that kind of booty ¶
01:13:42 ¶ Pack it up and bring it to me ¶
01:13:44 ¶ Smack it up, let's make a movie ¶
01:13:46 ¶ She's got that kind of booty ¶
01:13:58 ¶ My darling, the stars,
01:14:03 ¶ My darling,
01:14:08 ¶ My darling,
01:14:11 ¶ Whenever I think of you ¶
01:14:16 ¶ And under this moonlit sky ¶
01:14:18 ¶ I pray and dream that I will be the one,
01:14:22 ¶ That you'll ¶
01:14:27 ¶ Bend over
01:14:33 ¶ From behind ¶
01:14:35 ¶ Have me on all fours,
01:14:41 ¶ I'll give your cock
01:14:43 ¶ Then you'll give me
01:14:46 ¶ Squeeze my tits,
01:14:49 ¶ Then spunk all over my body ¶
01:14:51 ¶ I want to be
01:14:55 ¶ Greasy slut ¶
01:14:56 ¶ Beggin' for more,
01:15:00 ¶ Can't get enough ¶
01:15:05 ¶ When I leave your tool ¶
01:15:07 ¶ Used up, worn, and soggy ¶
01:15:10 ¶ I won't stop then ¶
01:15:12 ¶ Oh, no, no, no ¶
01:15:14 ¶ I'll become
01:15:20 ¶ Let me be
01:15:25 ¶ Let me be