Extreme Movie
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¶ Oh, darlin' ¶ |
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¶ I love you in the mornin' ¶ |
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¶ I love you |
00:00:25 |
Chuck, you know I love you. |
00:00:27 |
Of course, Betty |
00:00:30 |
And I know I've made you wait |
00:00:33 |
Yeah A long time. |
00:00:37 |
Well, tonight, that all ends. |
00:00:40 |
What do you mean? |
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Chuck... |
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tonight is the night |
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I'm ready to take things |
00:00:50 |
Are you sure? |
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All right. |
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¶ Whoa, darlin' ¶ |
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¶ Whatever I have to do ¶ |
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¶ Oh, pretty baby ¶ |
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¶ How I'm in love with you ¶ |
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That was awesome. |
00:01:35 |
Yeah. |
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But... |
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now that my virginity is behind us, |
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I think I'm ready to take things |
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What do you mean? |
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Come on, Chuck, |
00:01:51 |
You know what I mean. |
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Anal |
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Seriously? |
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Yeah I love you, Chuck, |
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And that's why I want you |
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¶ Giddy up, horsey ¶ |
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¶ Come on, let go ¶ |
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Yeah |
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¶ Who's riding your pony? ¶ |
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¶ Horny pony ¶ |
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Oh, yeah |
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¶ They've seldom seen |
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Wow |
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I know. |
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That fucking ruled! |
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But |
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But what? |
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Well |
00:02:41 |
it's just now that |
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I think we're ready to |
00:02:49 |
What other level is there? |
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Get an extension cord |
00:02:57 |
Next level! |
00:02:59 |
Who are they!? |
00:03:01 |
Next level! |
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Ohh! |
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Next level! |
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Next level! |
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No more levels! |
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I'll be right back |
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Maybe I rushed things |
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¶ Sex me up |
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¶ Whatever you want |
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¶ I'm into S and M, |
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¶ And now don't you understand, |
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¶ Sex me up |
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¶ I get on the floor, |
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¶ Get on my hands and knees, |
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¶ I hope this never cease, |
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¶ But she won't hold me |
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¶ From what she told me, |
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¶ But she won't hold me |
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¶ From what she told me, |
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¶ She said ¶ |
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¶ I said ¶ |
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¶ Sex me up |
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¶ Sex me up and |
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¶ Sex me up |
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Remember, students, |
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Gentlemen, pick up your free condoms |
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- and ladies, lubricant is available... |
00:05:27 |
- Same chick as the night before? |
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I can't have the same chick |
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That's bordering on a relationship |
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See, this is exactly what I don't |
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He just goes out |
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that's how he does it |
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You can't sit around and wait |
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under the tree |
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Dude, how psyched are you |
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- Mr. Matthews' sex-ed class |
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I cant wait to go in there and talk about |
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It's gonna be awesome, bro |
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No doubt, bro |
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I can't take this class |
00:06:02 |
Why not? |
00:06:04 |
Why not? Did you not |
00:06:07 |
" -How much ass we've slammed?" |
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Exactly The class is just gonna be |
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who are open about their sex lives, |
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That's sad You're not bad-lookin' |
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I'm not gonna have sex |
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I know thats what |
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Sorry, not gonna happen |
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Doesn't have to be just anybody |
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How about you start off with |
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Hey, Betty |
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Okay, everyone, |
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we got a lot to do, |
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I can feel the sexuality brewin' |
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- Oh, no Stacy's in this class? |
00:06:47 |
You've been trying to tap that |
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This is an opportunity |
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Go talk to her! |
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- What would I say? |
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is for you to be yourself |
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Or just shake your dick at her |
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- Hello |
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Hey, Stacy |
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Looks like we're gonna be |
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What!? |
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Ed S... class |
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I'm sorry, I just... y'know |
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Bye |
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Yeah... talk to ya later |
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My name is Mr. Matthews |
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First off, |
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just a bunch of people |
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Right? So once you |
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you're comin' through |
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That's right... I said "bullshit" |
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Huh? We're keepin' it real |
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Fart, fuck, shit, cock, ass, cunty cunt! |
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All rightie |
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Now, listen up Teen sexuality |
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and we're gonna explore that concept |
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we can get our greasy little hands on |
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And you're gonna share |
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Hell, I've had sex with koi fish |
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There, I've said it |
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Sometimes you find me naked |
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at your local fast food restaurant |
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True story |
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Okay, let's do a little |
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I want each and every one of you |
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to decide that you're gonna |
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for the very first time |
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Okay, partner up, people! |
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Stacy needs a partner |
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Hell, screw the day |
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That's a good union there |
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- Mr. Matthews? |
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I don't think there's any girls left |
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Mike, human sexuality isn't always |
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Stand up, Doug |
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Class, I'd like to introduce you |
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Mike and Doug |
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Now, just because they'll be |
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man-on-man lovemaking |
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don't treat 'em any differently |
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Mike, I think |
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Okay |
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I'll be the stay-at-home-dad |
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What? |
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Mark |
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So, Matt, what advice do you |
00:09:56 |
Advice Uh |
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guys, be responsible |
00:10:01 |
You know, always wear a rubber |
00:10:04 |
Of course, it feels way better |
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Unless, of course, |
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and then I think you just |
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As long as there's a naked chick |
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you are not gay |
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If you have an STD, |
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It is a lose-lose situation |
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Fellas, be nice to your partner |
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In the morning, |
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point her to the nearest bus stop |
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Be a good guy |
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Today one out of three |
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has a sexually transmitted disease. |
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And letting a former hook-up know |
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can be pretty hard. |
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Now there's an easier way! |
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At STD-E-CARDS, you can |
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Pick from such messages as, |
00:11:00 |
"You gave me your heart, |
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or Thanks for the blowjob... |
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It's from Kevin! |
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That hot guy |
00:11:13 |
- Yeah |
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"Roses are red, |
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I gave you syphilis |
00:11:23 |
That was easy |
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STD-E-CARDS, |
00:11:34 |
Attention, students, |
00:11:38 |
Get your free STD screening |
00:11:47 |
- Hi, Carla |
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Hey, listen, um, |
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I know it's kind of last minute, |
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I wanted to know if you'd maybe |
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Oh, I'm sorry, Justin, |
00:12:00 |
Three weeks ago |
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Oh... oh, okay |
00:12:04 |
Well, have fun, though |
00:12:32 |
Oh, check out your cock! |
00:12:35 |
Oh! Oh, honey! |
00:12:48 |
I've been using these |
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Can I help you? |
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Huh? |
00:12:56 |
Uh... uh, no |
00:13:10 |
Oh, honey... |
00:13:16 |
She's a real beaut, isn't she? |
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This just isn't right |
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I wish we'd met years ago |
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My whole high school experience |
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¶ Every day, the one thing |
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¶ So much love ¶ |
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¶ It's like a river |
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¶ So much love ¶ |
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¶ The minute it seems to stop, |
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¶ So much love ¶ |
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¶ You've given me so much love ¶ |
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¶ Don't you know |
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I've always wanted |
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¶ They brought me you, |
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¶ Dreams come true |
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¶ So much love ¶ |
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Justin, I haven't seen you |
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I've been busy |
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Well, prom wasn't the same |
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- Really? |
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I was wondering if we could |
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- Me and you? |
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Maybe Saturday night? |
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And just when I thought |
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he pukes all over my dress |
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It was horrible |
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I'm sure you still |
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Thanks, but I didn't |
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I had vomit all over me |
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You're so amazing |
00:16:02 |
What? No, that's ridiculous |
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I'm going to play poker |
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Dont worry |
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Hello? |
00:16:23 |
Anyone there? |
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Look, don't be a pussy, |
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Stop calling me! |
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Another prank call |
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I know what you're up to, |
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Leave Carla alone! |
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It's over between me and you |
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Get used to it! |
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Where were you this morning? |
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I thought you were gonna |
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Oh Sorry, I forgot |
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Well, you comin' to my game |
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Actually, I'm going to Len's party |
00:17:02 |
You know what? There's someone else |
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Good-bye, Carla |
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Justin, where are you going? |
00:17:21 |
What? |
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No! |
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Why?! Why did you do this!? |
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Someone call 911! |
00:17:56 |
So what's the kinkiest thing |
00:18:04 |
The two of us licked whipped cream |
00:18:07 |
- That was fun Yeah |
00:18:11 |
What about you? |
00:18:13 |
I don't know |
00:18:15 |
- Uh |
00:18:18 |
- What if my parents are watching? |
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Does it have to be the kinkiest thing |
00:18:25 |
No, it could have been |
00:18:27 |
Well |
00:18:29 |
this one time I had sex |
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while his best friend |
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and then I sucked both their dicks |
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That was kinda kinky |
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- What? Baby? |
00:18:50 |
MR MATTHEWS |
00:18:52 |
We got a lot to do |
00:18:54 |
Wanna make sure we can |
00:18:56 |
That's what she said Ha ha ha! |
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You've gotta sit next to Stacy |
00:19:01 |
Yeah, man, don't be scared |
00:19:04 |
All right, |
00:19:06 |
This is great |
00:19:08 |
Okay |
00:19:10 |
let's talk about penises |
00:19:13 |
That's right, everyone |
00:19:15 |
I said the big P-word |
00:19:17 |
Now, the most common question: |
00:19:21 |
Simple answer: There's no such thing |
00:19:24 |
Penises come in a variety |
00:19:27 |
Huh? All rightie! |
00:19:30 |
As you can tell from the molds |
00:19:35 |
Got 'em all different |
00:19:38 |
Now, the next |
00:19:42 |
It's short and stocky, |
00:19:45 |
kablooey! |
00:19:47 |
Like a sawed-off shotgun, I tell ya |
00:19:50 |
This one's called the Tadpole |
00:19:53 |
Because it's got a larger head |
00:19:57 |
We like to call this guy |
00:20:01 |
Yeah I thought |
00:20:04 |
Now, this is an interesting one |
00:20:06 |
Looks small, but if you |
00:20:08 |
I tell ya, it's quite a powerful weapon |
00:20:10 |
It's called the Torpedo |
00:20:13 |
Or the Meat Cone |
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'Cause it's got a tiny head |
00:20:17 |
Nice |
00:20:19 |
Hand that guy around, |
00:20:21 |
We like to call that one |
00:20:23 |
Next we have what's called |
00:20:27 |
- That's right |
00:20:28 |
We also like to call this |
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Ladies, you're gonna love |
00:20:36 |
Okay, this next one's interesting, |
00:20:42 |
It's the Doubleheader, |
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It is out there, believe me |
00:20:47 |
Okay, everyone, pass 'em around |
00:20:49 |
Look 'em up and down |
00:20:51 |
NOW freeze! |
00:20:53 |
Okay Gentlemen, |
00:20:57 |
that is your penis |
00:21:00 |
Ladies, put your penises down |
00:21:02 |
and partner up with |
00:21:06 |
Looks like we got a small one, huh? |
00:21:09 |
Yeah |
00:21:10 |
Okay, now I'm gonna hand out |
00:21:14 |
Here ya go, |
00:21:16 |
Now, ladies and gentlemen, |
00:21:17 |
I'm gonna have you put the condom |
00:21:23 |
Okay, the reason I'm having you |
00:21:26 |
is because contraception |
00:21:31 |
Have to say that Sorry |
00:21:38 |
Mike, it looks like you got |
00:21:40 |
That's because, Mike, |
00:21:45 |
Okay, everyone, |
00:21:48 |
Now, a fetish is basically |
00:21:52 |
black leather... and bits, |
00:21:55 |
Who likes a ball in their mouth? |
00:22:01 |
Oh, baby, you look so good |
00:22:03 |
- You wanna do it now, baby? |
00:22:05 |
Okay |
00:22:10 |
No, wait |
00:22:13 |
What? |
00:22:17 |
This |
00:22:19 |
You want me to wear a hat? |
00:22:21 |
Oh, yeah, baby, |
00:22:24 |
- Okay |
00:22:29 |
Wait Uh, you know what else |
00:22:33 |
What? |
00:22:37 |
This big mole |
00:22:38 |
What?! Ew! |
00:22:40 |
It's hot Trust me |
00:22:42 |
For me? |
00:22:43 |
Fine |
00:22:47 |
- Now can we do it? |
00:23:06 |
Ronny... what the hell!? |
00:23:07 |
- What? |
00:23:09 |
but you clearly want to |
00:23:11 |
That's crazy! |
00:23:14 |
Is it? |
00:23:17 |
- You're obsessed with him |
00:23:20 |
What's wrong with paying tribute? |
00:23:24 |
Paying tribute is one thing... |
00:23:25 |
trying to turn your girlfriend into him |
00:23:29 |
I'm outta here |
00:23:34 |
Sue... |
00:23:40 |
That was my last beard |
00:23:42 |
TV Announcer: |
00:23:44 |
Or is all hopeless for our heroines? |
00:23:46 |
Will Alice and Betty make it home? |
00:23:48 |
Find out next on Babes Lost in Time! |
00:23:53 |
Time |
00:24:40 |
Forward into the past! |
00:24:43 |
Here I come, Abe! |
00:26:54 |
Ladies, you do not... |
00:26:56 |
I repeat, you do not have to |
00:27:01 |
But it helps |
00:27:03 |
Want to remain a virgin |
00:27:05 |
Two words: Butt sex |
00:27:07 |
Look, if you like to be choked, |
00:27:11 |
Just don't go too far |
00:27:13 |
Blue is a warning sign |
00:27:21 |
So, what's the kinkiest thing |
00:27:28 |
- Well, um, check it: |
00:27:29 |
I'm at the club one night, |
00:27:32 |
So next you know |
00:27:34 |
and she lets me take her back |
00:27:36 |
and she did me and him |
00:27:39 |
- And then she blew us |
00:27:41 |
Whoo, man! |
00:27:44 |
Hey, you know, uh, shit, |
00:27:47 |
That little woman had a big ol' |
00:27:49 |
- Where'd she get that? |
00:27:52 |
in that motherfucker, |
00:27:54 |
She was small, but she did |
00:27:56 |
- Hey, Kim, holler at your boy! |
00:28:01 |
The women spend most |
00:28:06 |
- adding a new ring each year. |
00:28:08 |
They probably like it |
00:28:10 |
Yeah |
00:28:12 |
I know they do |
00:28:14 |
Holy crap! |
00:28:16 |
It's Saturday night and you guys |
00:28:19 |
- You're pathetic |
00:28:22 |
You never knock! |
00:28:24 |
Stupid |
00:28:26 |
He's right, you know |
00:28:27 |
- I mean, this is pathetic |
00:28:30 |
It's not like we can actually get laid |
00:28:33 |
Unless we come up with a way |
00:28:35 |
to build an artificial woman |
00:28:39 |
And then program her |
00:28:43 |
You're a genius! |
00:28:44 |
This is stupid, Barry |
00:28:46 |
Shut up |
00:28:48 |
Are you sure you know |
00:28:49 |
Relax! We're gonna give her |
00:28:52 |
- and Beyonce's ass |
00:28:53 |
- Tyra's boobs |
00:28:55 |
Tyra's probably got bigger |
00:28:57 |
Now all that's left to do is |
00:28:59 |
Like really, really horny, though |
00:29:01 |
See this pair of panties, right? |
00:29:03 |
Where'd you get those from? |
00:29:05 |
All right Are you ready |
00:29:06 |
- I'm ready |
00:29:15 |
Ow! I told you |
00:29:17 |
Be quiet, Leon I'm thinking |
00:29:25 |
Oh, shit! |
00:29:27 |
So, who gonna fuck me first!? |
00:29:30 |
Him! Him! |
00:29:33 |
What the hell just happened!? |
00:29:34 |
The panties, they was my aunt's |
00:29:38 |
What you waitin' for? My pussy |
00:29:41 |
What? What you say? |
00:29:43 |
Who would say that? |
00:29:44 |
Where you goin?' |
00:29:46 |
Leon! |
00:29:48 |
Leon! |
00:29:49 |
Well |
00:29:50 |
I guess that means you first |
00:29:53 |
No It don't... it don't have to mean that |
00:29:54 |
Come give mama |
00:29:57 |
What you talkin' about? |
00:29:59 |
I'm your human sex toy, |
00:30:05 |
You don't even have to wear |
00:30:13 |
Save your energy! |
00:30:30 |
Come out, come out, |
00:30:42 |
You're too big for me! |
00:30:44 |
Your ball sack is about to get drained! |
00:30:47 |
Let me go! Please, Jesus! |
00:30:54 |
You were good. |
00:30:57 |
I dont want no more |
00:31:00 |
No! I dont want it! |
00:31:03 |
You broke my bed |
00:31:14 |
She's so big. Why is she so big? |
00:31:17 |
I musta... I probably hit F1 |
00:31:20 |
Here I come! |
00:31:23 |
And this time your ass cherry |
00:31:28 |
No, it's not! No, it's not! |
00:31:30 |
It's my ass cherry! It's not yours! |
00:31:37 |
Barry? Leon? |
00:31:45 |
"Press Enter now?" |
00:31:54 |
¶ Yeah ¶ |
00:31:55 |
¶ You're lookin' good, baby ¶ |
00:31:57 |
Whoa! |
00:32:00 |
You're cute How old are you? |
00:32:03 |
Old enough |
00:32:05 |
¶ Ooh-whoo! |
00:32:08 |
¶ Here we go ¶ |
00:32:13 |
I know you're probably too young |
00:32:17 |
but take it from me, |
00:32:18 |
if you find somebody that you want |
00:32:23 |
there's nothing better |
00:32:25 |
Thanks, sweetie |
00:32:27 |
But before you get married, |
00:32:29 |
make sure you explore |
00:32:32 |
and bone as many chicks |
00:32:36 |
Well, ladies, be sure you take |
00:32:42 |
I banged at least fifty guys |
00:32:44 |
before I met this asshole |
00:32:48 |
And a group of girls, too |
00:32:49 |
It was no accident that I invited |
00:32:54 |
on the same day |
00:32:56 |
- Ohh |
00:32:59 |
Guys, listen up |
00:33:01 |
If you're planning on having |
00:33:03 |
you better to do it |
00:33:06 |
But trust me, |
00:33:11 |
than two women making out |
00:33:15 |
I almost forgot |
00:33:16 |
Book yourself a ticket to... |
00:33:18 |
Try sleeping with |
00:33:22 |
and his brother |
00:33:23 |
at the wedding reception |
00:33:25 |
Very hot |
00:34:05 |
Great |
00:34:29 |
Ohh |
00:34:32 |
Ohh |
00:34:33 |
Ooh, that's nice |
00:34:38 |
Oh, why didn't I think of this before? |
00:34:46 |
Oh, shit |
00:34:51 |
Ohh! Ohh! |
00:34:55 |
Damn it, damn it, damn it! |
00:34:57 |
Honey, dinner's ready |
00:34:59 |
Oh, my God |
00:35:02 |
Oh, this is bad |
00:35:07 |
Can you pass the mashed potatoes, |
00:35:09 |
- Certainly |
00:35:13 |
Mm Everything |
00:35:22 |
Did you pick up |
00:35:25 |
Yeah, they gave them out |
00:35:28 |
They did? |
00:35:40 |
Honey, is your vagina ringing? |
00:35:43 |
Dad! That's ridiculous |
00:35:50 |
Sounded like it |
00:35:55 |
Okay, I think we've learned a lot here |
00:36:00 |
I'll see ya all tomorrow |
00:36:02 |
Now, remember your permission slips |
00:36:04 |
Now, these permission slips |
00:36:07 |
Now if you can't find your parents, |
00:36:08 |
they're in their bedroom, doing it |
00:36:14 |
- He'd probably use the toys |
00:36:18 |
Hey, Stacey Jess |
00:36:20 |
- Hey |
00:36:37 |
Uh, so listen, Stacey, um... |
00:36:39 |
Mike, |
00:36:45 |
- Later? |
00:36:47 |
- Awesome |
00:36:56 |
So, Mike, |
00:36:58 |
how are things going |
00:37:01 |
Oh, uh, great |
00:37:03 |
You know, we're really good friends |
00:37:05 |
Hey, hey! |
00:37:08 |
I know you're into Stacy |
00:37:15 |
Yeah, I mean, I don't know |
00:37:17 |
- Hmm Hmm |
00:37:19 |
What do I do? |
00:37:22 |
That's a good question |
00:37:24 |
You don't |
00:37:25 |
I don't? |
00:37:27 |
No, you don't |
00:37:30 |
You see, Mike, a girl like Stacy |
00:37:34 |
Way |
00:37:37 |
What? What do you mean? |
00:37:39 |
I thought you were |
00:37:41 |
and there are no rules |
00:37:44 |
I am Just not when it comes |
00:37:47 |
You see, Mike, a girl like Stacy, |
00:37:51 |
boy, you'd need like a truckload |
00:37:55 |
and a vat of malt liquor |
00:37:57 |
Really mellow her out, |
00:38:00 |
But not knock her out |
00:38:03 |
- What? |
00:38:05 |
you need to go after |
00:38:07 |
You need to find somebody |
00:38:11 |
pretty-err |
00:38:13 |
You might have to go up |
00:38:16 |
a little more than |
00:38:18 |
buck-fifty, two bills... I'm not sure |
00:38:21 |
Somebody who hasn't seen |
00:38:24 |
Acne scars, fangs for teeth, |
00:38:27 |
- retarded, if you will |
00:38:30 |
Hey, sometimes keepin' it real hurts, |
00:38:34 |
But in the end, |
00:38:38 |
Now go out there |
00:38:41 |
Or a whore |
00:38:44 |
Good talk |
00:38:48 |
Now, a quick word from our sponsor. |
00:38:52 |
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try Flaccitra today. |
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00:39:29 |
go to Flaccitra. Com. |
00:39:30 |
Come on, guys |
00:39:32 |
Flaccitra. |
00:39:42 |
Mmm, this is nice, baby |
00:39:54 |
Lindsey, relax Everybody farts |
00:39:57 |
This is huge. |
00:39:59 |
We've crossed the Fart Barrier |
00:40:01 |
Really? |
00:40:03 |
Ahh |
00:40:05 |
See? It's nothin!' |
00:40:16 |
I do feel comfortable with you |
00:41:16 |
Damn! |
00:41:18 |
Now, that's just nasty. |
00:41:31 |
Oh, my God! Oh, yes! |
00:41:34 |
Hey, man, she was riding you |
00:41:37 |
Hold on, hold on |
00:41:39 |
- Wait for it |
00:41:42 |
Now |
00:41:45 |
Oh, my God! |
00:41:47 |
Whoo |
00:41:48 |
Let me introduce you |
00:41:51 |
Griffin, this chick is amazing |
00:41:53 |
Which is why I invited her |
00:41:54 |
Yes, sir |
00:41:56 |
And we're gonna be right here |
00:41:58 |
Got your little sister's baby monitor |
00:42:00 |
And we're gonna have the other end |
00:42:03 |
No Not happening, guys |
00:42:05 |
- Not happening? |
00:42:06 |
- Yes Yes |
00:42:08 |
Well, that's what you think |
00:42:09 |
- Oh Too late |
00:42:12 |
Go ahead |
00:42:17 |
- Hi, I'm... I'm Mike |
00:42:22 |
¶ Oh, my God ¶ |
00:42:23 |
¶ Oh, shit ¶ |
00:42:26 |
¶ Oh, my God ¶ |
00:42:28 |
¶ I can't believe this ¶ |
00:42:31 |
Come here |
00:42:33 |
¶ Oh, shit ¶ |
00:42:36 |
Whoa, you're taking your shirt off |
00:42:39 |
it's kinda tough for me to say no. |
00:42:41 |
You hear that, man? |
00:42:44 |
- It's on! |
00:42:46 |
Put it in me |
00:42:50 |
Why... why don't I just grab |
00:42:54 |
¶ Oh, my God, |
00:42:57 |
Oh, hell no, man, is it broke? |
00:43:03 |
What are you waiting for? |
00:43:06 |
I'm sorry I... |
00:43:08 |
I can't do this |
00:43:09 |
What? |
00:43:11 |
There's this girl in my high school, |
00:43:14 |
Great I didn't have a back-up plan |
00:43:16 |
Now I've gotta go fuck a trucker |
00:43:20 |
a homeless guy |
00:43:23 |
Do you possibly think that maybe |
00:43:26 |
Just so you know |
00:43:29 |
Your friend said that |
00:43:34 |
Last chance |
00:43:41 |
Man, all the settin' up we did, |
00:43:45 |
He's definitely pussing out |
00:43:46 |
Let's go see what's going on |
00:43:49 |
You like that, don't you? |
00:43:50 |
Ha ha! We back in action! |
00:43:53 |
Yeah, Mike! |
00:43:57 |
Man, you hear that? |
00:43:59 |
Yeah! |
00:44:03 |
Ride it! Ride it! |
00:44:04 |
My boy's goin' strong to the hole, |
00:44:08 |
- She's going nuts! |
00:44:10 |
Ahem |
00:44:14 |
Hi Have you guys |
00:44:25 |
Oh, Mike! You're so big! |
00:44:28 |
Ahh! Ahh! Oh, Mike, |
00:44:35 |
Cover your ears! I'm about to cum! |
00:44:38 |
I'm Cumming! I'm Cumming! |
00:44:40 |
Aaah! Aaah! Aaah! Aaah! |
00:44:42 |
Oh! Oh! You're such a beast! |
00:44:45 |
I'm your big daddy |
00:44:46 |
Mike, I'm... cover your ears! |
00:44:49 |
Shh! Shh! Oh! Oh! |
00:44:52 |
All right, home stretch |
00:44:53 |
Oh, like that! Oh, like that! |
00:44:56 |
Oh, my God, oh, my God |
00:45:00 |
I'm in love, Mike |
00:45:04 |
I love you, Mike |
00:45:06 |
¶ Let them know you worked it, |
00:45:10 |
So was it as good for you guys |
00:45:16 |
You know, I would tell you |
00:45:19 |
but it sounds like you just did |
00:45:25 |
Now, Suzy, |
00:45:27 |
so I'm just gonna come right out and say it. |
00:45:29 |
Say it. |
00:45:31 |
I've been |
00:45:34 |
- Hank, come on |
00:45:36 |
You know I made |
00:45:39 |
I promised myself I'd wait |
00:45:40 |
it was with the right guy |
00:45:43 |
I thought I was the right guy |
00:45:45 |
You might be |
00:45:47 |
I'm just not sure yet |
00:45:49 |
But I like you a lot |
00:46:03 |
Hi, sexually frustrated teenager! |
00:46:05 |
I'm Blue Bally! |
00:46:07 |
And if you and your girlfriend |
00:46:09 |
you're gonna wind up with |
00:46:12 |
That's right! |
00:46:16 |
Aw, don't be afraid |
00:46:20 |
You've been stiff as a board |
00:46:24 |
That means you're reaching |
00:46:26 |
where that good tingly feeling |
00:46:29 |
can quickly turn into |
00:46:34 |
Wh... what do you mean? |
00:46:36 |
See, Hank, right now |
00:46:39 |
and only a little bit's dripping out |
00:46:41 |
That's called pre-cum |
00:46:43 |
What you want to do is ejaculate |
00:46:46 |
Otherwise, that back up of jizz |
00:46:49 |
to the point of making you nauseous |
00:46:51 |
In fact, your genitals can increase |
00:46:57 |
- So, what do I do? |
00:47:00 |
even if your girlfriend |
00:47:03 |
the least you should be able to do |
00:47:08 |
Judy? |
00:47:10 |
L... I want you to know that |
00:47:14 |
And I've known that since the first time |
00:47:19 |
Uh-huh |
00:47:21 |
uh-huh |
00:47:24 |
uh-huh |
00:47:28 |
- Uh-oh That's not good |
00:47:31 |
With that kind of arousal, |
00:47:34 |
before full-on irreversible |
00:47:38 |
You better go to the bathroom |
00:47:41 |
- Here? |
00:47:42 |
There's no time to waste! |
00:47:43 |
Go! Get going! |
00:47:52 |
Oh, yeah, you won't |
00:47:54 |
Blue Bally! |
00:47:57 |
Hope you like sloppy seconds! |
00:48:01 |
Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! |
00:48:06 |
Man, I'm never gonna get laid |
00:48:08 |
No, you're not |
00:48:11 |
- Did you? |
00:48:12 |
I met in her in Teen lonely boys |
00:48:15 |
'Cause I figure I'm a teen |
00:48:17 |
Anyways, it's crazy, |
00:48:20 |
there's not a lot of girls |
00:48:22 |
It's mostly older guys |
00:48:25 |
That's kind of creepy |
00:48:27 |
It is at first, but, you know, |
00:48:29 |
once I made it clear |
00:48:31 |
in the market for a teen girl, |
00:48:33 |
ladies were just |
00:48:35 |
And now I have a girlfriend |
00:48:38 |
Isn't that a guy's name? |
00:48:40 |
It's both I... |
00:48:41 |
I mean, she says |
00:48:44 |
- She send you a picture? |
00:48:49 |
Most of them are naked |
00:48:52 |
Well, maybe I'll give it a try |
00:48:54 |
And maybe if you're lucky someday, |
00:49:09 |
"Sweeety Pi" |
00:49:11 |
Accept |
00:49:14 |
Hi. |
00:49:18 |
Hi. |
00:49:21 |
Sex chat? |
00:49:24 |
Sure. |
00:49:26 |
Okay. I'm dressed in a tight mini-dress |
00:49:30 |
I'm completely alone and vulnerable. |
00:49:32 |
Then you appear out of the shadows. |
00:49:34 |
You wear all black, |
00:49:38 |
You approach me menacingly |
00:49:43 |
Hey, what's up. |
00:49:48 |
Was that wrong? |
00:49:49 |
Menacing. |
00:49:51 |
Okay |
00:49:52 |
What are you doing in my alley? |
00:49:55 |
Oh, no. You stay away from me. |
00:49:57 |
I'm lost, alone, and half-naked. |
00:50:00 |
But I have Mace. |
00:50:05 |
Okay, sorry, no problem. |
00:50:08 |
Be aggressive. I want it. |
00:50:13 |
Oh Weird |
00:50:16 |
I'm afraid I don't care about Mace. |
00:50:20 |
Sexually. |
00:50:22 |
That was amazing. |
00:50:26 |
Come to 429 Covington Avenue, |
00:50:29 |
tomorrow night at 10:00. |
00:50:30 |
Wear a mask. |
00:50:33 |
Don't break character. |
00:50:41 |
- Oh, hello, dear |
00:50:43 |
Doing anything special tonight? |
00:50:45 |
Nope, just baking cookies |
00:50:49 |
Oh |
00:51:22 |
Just a second! |
00:51:28 |
Did somebody order the rape? |
00:51:30 |
Aaaah! |
00:51:32 |
Whoo! Oooh! |
00:51:34 |
So far so good |
00:51:36 |
Uh, you can run but you can't hide |
00:51:38 |
from forced sexual intercourse, |
00:51:40 |
you know what I mean ma'am? |
00:51:44 |
Get out! |
00:51:45 |
God, be careful! |
00:51:49 |
I mean, you won't be so feisty |
00:51:53 |
Sexually |
00:52:01 |
I'm bleeding! |
00:52:04 |
That wont stop me! |
00:52:13 |
No, you don't |
00:52:15 |
Oh |
00:52:16 |
I'm sorry, I'll pay for this |
00:52:18 |
You stay back I'm warning you! |
00:52:19 |
Uh, I'm scared, yeah, yeah |
00:52:22 |
Oh, my God! |
00:52:31 |
What is it?! What is it!? |
00:52:36 |
Oh, God! |
00:52:38 |
Aaaah! |
00:52:45 |
Did somebody order the rape? |
00:52:58 |
Fred |
00:52:59 |
Oh Hey, Betty |
00:53:00 |
- Hey |
00:53:02 |
What's wrong? |
00:53:03 |
Oh, it's just been kind of |
00:53:05 |
It's a long story, though |
00:53:07 |
You know, Fred, |
00:53:09 |
we've been friends |
00:53:11 |
Yeah Yeah, we have |
00:53:13 |
Maybe it's time we take things |
00:53:15 |
Next level? |
00:53:18 |
Wow |
00:53:25 |
Next level! |
00:53:28 |
Hey, baby, this is for you. |
00:53:30 |
I love you. |
00:53:33 |
I hope you enjoy. |
00:53:54 |
Kat, can I borrow |
00:53:56 |
Uh, yeah, sure. |
00:54:08 |
Ohh! Ow! |
00:54:24 |
I'm not in Leave a message |
00:54:27 |
Hey, girl, it's Billy Sharpe |
00:54:29 |
Thanks for rockin' my world |
00:54:34 |
Sorry about that. |
00:54:40 |
Oh, shoot! Aaaah! |
00:54:43 |
Nice titties! |
00:54:53 |
Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! |
00:54:55 |
¶ Put the south in your mouth, |
00:55:02 |
¶ Put the south in your mouth, |
00:55:11 |
¶ Let me slop my biscuit |
00:55:21 |
I'm gonna do it |
00:55:22 |
I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do it, |
00:55:24 |
I'm there I'm there |
00:55:35 |
¶ Put the south in your mouth, |
00:55:39 |
I wanna kiss your mouth |
00:55:43 |
Mm, tastes like blueberry |
00:55:46 |
So good... |
00:55:50 |
Oh, God |
00:55:53 |
Mmm |
00:56:00 |
Hi |
00:56:03 |
Hi |
00:56:09 |
You look like |
00:56:12 |
Um |
00:56:15 |
I had a... a really bad dream |
00:56:20 |
Oh, sweetie |
00:56:21 |
It's okay |
00:56:23 |
Come here |
00:56:31 |
I had an amazing time last night |
00:56:36 |
Oh l'm sorry |
00:56:39 |
Do you have a toilet? |
00:56:40 |
Oh Yeah, it's right over there |
00:56:43 |
Ohh |
00:56:50 |
Mmm long night |
00:56:56 |
- Hello |
00:56:59 |
Who the hell are you? |
00:57:02 |
Why don't you ask your dick? |
00:57:04 |
What is going on here? |
00:57:06 |
- Relax, Len |
00:57:09 |
Uh, I usually like to know |
00:57:11 |
who's fucking my mouth |
00:57:13 |
Nobody fucked anybody's mouth |
00:57:15 |
Fine Nobody fucked |
00:57:18 |
And I guess |
00:57:19 |
nobody was three knuckles deep |
00:57:24 |
Jesus Christ, what were you doing, |
00:57:26 |
reaching for, like, a winning |
00:57:28 |
I could feel you in |
00:57:33 |
Oh, look what the cat |
00:57:35 |
- Do you have any matches? |
00:57:38 |
I'll air that out All right? |
00:57:40 |
What I need right now |
00:57:44 |
My parents are coming home |
00:57:45 |
and I need to start cleaning up |
00:57:46 |
Sorry Dick hair |
00:57:48 |
Those weren't your parents |
00:57:50 |
My parents are in Cancun |
00:57:52 |
Yeah Yeah Right. |
00:57:56 |
If you say your parents aren't here, |
00:57:59 |
then we'll just believe that |
00:58:01 |
Maybe it was your aunt and uncle |
00:58:03 |
I don't care I came here to fuck |
00:58:06 |
and get fucked. |
00:58:07 |
And you know, I got fucked |
00:58:10 |
Okay Very funny |
00:58:12 |
The, uh, the joke's over |
00:58:14 |
This has been a delightful little prank |
00:58:16 |
but now it's time for you |
00:58:19 |
and please get the hell |
00:58:22 |
Yeah |
00:58:24 |
You're right |
00:58:27 |
After we invited you |
00:58:30 |
I got blueberry yogurt and I smeared it |
00:58:34 |
to make it look like |
00:58:37 |
And then I dig my fingers |
00:58:40 |
and put some of my butt stink |
00:58:43 |
And then I put some moisturizer |
00:58:48 |
to make it look like |
00:58:50 |
Pooh! Yeah! All a joke |
00:58:53 |
Please just get the hell out |
00:58:57 |
- Fine |
00:59:01 |
Please, just... just leave |
00:59:04 |
Ooh So kind |
00:59:17 |
If you say |
00:59:20 |
then we'll just believe |
00:59:22 |
Maybe it was your aunt and uncle. |
00:59:31 |
Oh thank God |
00:59:47 |
Oh, please, God, |
00:59:50 |
I swear I'll never drink again |
01:00:01 |
Hello |
01:00:03 |
So, you guys are home early |
01:00:08 |
Did you just get in? |
01:00:15 |
How was your second honeymoon? |
01:00:18 |
Oh! No! |
01:00:24 |
Get the hell out of our sight |
01:00:30 |
Okay |
01:00:32 |
How could you!? |
01:00:34 |
How could you!? |
01:00:37 |
Ohh! |
01:00:45 |
Len, can we talk? |
01:00:47 |
Um, just a minute |
01:00:55 |
What, you been doing a little |
01:00:58 |
Oh, God, Dad, no This... it's not... |
01:01:00 |
Your mother and I are |
01:01:02 |
Well, uh... |
01:01:03 |
Look at her |
01:01:05 |
- You don't understand |
01:01:07 |
I have one question for you, |
01:01:11 |
Have you been sneaking |
01:01:13 |
and being on a hidden camera show? |
01:01:16 |
- What? |
01:01:20 |
No No, no, no, no, no! |
01:01:25 |
They were in there |
01:01:28 |
Gotcha! |
01:01:30 |
No! |
01:01:31 |
Hey, buddy! |
01:01:32 |
Fuck anybody in their mouth |
01:01:36 |
Look at his face! |
01:01:38 |
How could you do this to me? |
01:01:39 |
Wait Who am I? |
01:01:45 |
We roofied you, honey |
01:01:51 |
Wait, wait, wait... |
01:01:53 |
and you didn't fuck me? |
01:01:54 |
Well, I fucked you a little, |
01:02:06 |
Mr. Tight Sphincter |
01:02:09 |
Mark |
01:02:11 |
Fellas, personal advice |
01:02:14 |
Get in there |
01:02:16 |
Visually, it will give yourself |
01:02:19 |
If you're having anal intercourse, |
01:02:21 |
whatever you do, |
01:02:23 |
pull out and deposit your sperm |
01:02:27 |
She'll appreciate it in the long run |
01:02:30 |
Alcohol and sex don't mix |
01:02:33 |
Cocaine and sex |
01:02:35 |
If you don't have a rubber, |
01:02:38 |
Watch this Ready? |
01:02:40 |
"Hold on a sec, babe |
01:02:45 |
And then pantomime |
01:02:48 |
"Oh! It's so small! The rubber" |
01:02:53 |
And then |
01:02:56 |
She'll never know |
01:03:00 |
- Damn! |
01:03:02 |
Ohh, what died? |
01:03:04 |
Girl, you gotta stop |
01:03:11 |
- Hey, pretty sweet field trip, huh? |
01:03:15 |
So, Stacy, |
01:03:18 |
Hey, man, I'm gonna |
01:03:21 |
- Uh |
01:03:22 |
You know what, it can wait |
01:03:24 |
Hey, man, fake any orgasms lately? |
01:03:27 |
- Fuck off |
01:03:30 |
Ew |
01:03:32 |
Are you okay? |
01:03:34 |
Yeah |
01:03:35 |
Why is that guy so tall? |
01:03:38 |
Great Yeah, I should be okay |
01:03:40 |
I'll just go try to clean up |
01:03:42 |
- Uh, see you inside? |
01:03:52 |
Sorry! |
01:04:09 |
Guys |
01:04:10 |
Can someone |
01:04:14 |
Hello? |
01:04:17 |
- Hello? |
01:04:20 |
Everybody's waiting for you |
01:04:27 |
Oh, yeah |
01:04:35 |
- Oh, yeah |
01:04:42 |
Licking, licking |
01:04:44 |
- Oh! Oh! |
01:04:46 |
Oh, yeah! |
01:04:51 |
¶ Keep 'em shakin' ¶ |
01:04:56 |
¶ Show 'em to me ¶ |
01:04:58 |
¶ Tits ¶ |
01:05:01 |
Ohh, yeah! |
01:05:03 |
That's it, Nance |
01:05:05 |
Cut! |
01:05:08 |
Nancy, nice licking |
01:05:10 |
Very good sucking, too |
01:05:13 |
- Okay, he's here |
01:05:16 |
Listen, I know it's your first day, |
01:05:17 |
but we got some stuff to shoot, |
01:05:19 |
- Uh... wha... |
01:05:21 |
The way I view this film, |
01:05:23 |
it's a spiritual successor |
01:05:26 |
only with a lot more fucking Ha ha! |
01:05:30 |
Uh, right Um, you guys, |
01:05:33 |
I'm really looking forward |
01:05:36 |
Jackie and I are especially curious |
01:05:40 |
Oh, I can't wait to wrap |
01:05:44 |
the biggest penis in the biz |
01:05:46 |
"Penis"? I haven't heard |
01:05:49 |
- I usually just call it "dinner" |
01:05:51 |
Okay, everybody on set! |
01:05:56 |
I told you they wouldnt |
01:05:57 |
Oh, man, how was |
01:05:59 |
- Oh, man! Sweet car! |
01:06:02 |
You've just helped these girls |
01:06:04 |
And so to repay you, |
01:06:07 |
Now, Nancy right here, |
01:06:10 |
Then you're gonna do |
01:06:13 |
Bro, check this out |
01:06:15 |
After that, |
01:06:17 |
All right |
01:06:22 |
Hey, you gonna need a fluffer? |
01:06:24 |
Uh... uh... |
01:06:27 |
All rightie |
01:06:28 |
let's see that gigundo-cock |
01:06:31 |
And action! |
01:06:35 |
Thank you so much |
01:06:38 |
How can we ever repay you? |
01:06:54 |
What? |
01:06:58 |
- Cut! |
01:07:01 |
I'm Gigundo-cock |
01:07:06 |
Damn |
01:07:14 |
¶ Yeah, I'm not Gigundo-cock ¶ |
01:07:18 |
¶ I'm just a small-town hick ¶ |
01:07:22 |
¶ An 18-year-old virgin ¶ |
01:07:26 |
¶ With a super-tiny dick ¶ |
01:07:31 |
¶ Kid, I've seen this once before ¶ |
01:07:35 |
¶ A boy who wished |
01:07:39 |
¶ Found he couldn't |
01:07:43 |
¶ That's right, |
01:07:48 |
¶ It wasnt my first choice ¶ |
01:07:52 |
¶ My parents think |
01:07:56 |
¶ I thought I'd be doing theater ¶ |
01:07:59 |
¶ On Broadway ¶ |
01:08:03 |
¶ We're just accidentally ¶ |
01:08:04 |
¶ Incidentally, unintentionally |
01:08:08 |
¶ Accidentally, incidentally, |
01:08:12 |
¶ Making porn ¶ |
01:08:13 |
¶ Not me, I do it 'cause |
01:08:19 |
¶ Girl-on-girl pays fifty bucks ¶ |
01:08:23 |
¶ I get double |
01:08:27 |
¶ How I got here |
01:08:32 |
¶ Beats Mexico |
01:08:35 |
¶ All these tits |
01:08:38 |
¶ We're the ones |
01:08:40 |
¶ Let us be your man-whores ¶ |
01:08:43 |
¶ Will someone show these assholes |
01:08:50 |
¶ I found my home here ¶ |
01:08:53 |
¶ On this porn set ¶ |
01:08:56 |
¶ Better hurry up |
01:09:19 |
Fuck yeah! |
01:09:27 |
Wow Thanks for being |
01:09:31 |
I feel like I should tell you, though, |
01:09:32 |
I don't really think |
01:09:35 |
You've got balls, kid |
01:09:37 |
very large balls |
01:09:39 |
You show that kind of confidence |
01:09:42 |
you're gonna be fine, just fine |
01:09:47 |
All right, let's reset |
01:09:48 |
Back to one |
01:10:00 |
Dude, what happened in there |
01:10:02 |
Yo, bro, do you know those chicks? |
01:10:13 |
Yeah, Mike! |
01:10:15 |
Dude, yes! |
01:10:22 |
Whoa |
01:10:25 |
Look, Stacy |
01:10:28 |
I'm not sexually experienced, |
01:10:30 |
and I'm not some famous porn star |
01:10:35 |
Look, I'm just some regular kid |
01:10:39 |
very beautiful girl |
01:10:43 |
Don't call past 10:00 |
01:10:46 |
My dad'll kill me |
01:10:51 |
Screw her for me, dude! |
01:11:04 |
Fellas, you gotta be respectful |
01:11:06 |
Whatever you do, don't go around |
01:11:09 |
all the gruesome details |
01:11:11 |
But me, on the other hand, |
01:11:14 |
I like all dirty stuff |
01:11:15 |
This website will go directly to me, |
01:11:19 |
Send me all pictures, |
01:11:22 |
as bizarre as you want |
01:11:24 |
I'll read them all, |
01:11:26 |
Thank you I'm Matthew Lillard |
01:11:36 |
¶ She's got that kind of booty ¶ |
01:11:38 |
¶ Little mama, |
01:11:40 |
¶ She's got that kind of booty ¶ |
01:11:42 |
¶ The type that'll drive you looney ¶ |
01:11:44 |
¶ She's got that kind of booty, |
01:11:47 |
¶ Smack it up, let's make a movie, |
01:11:51 |
¶ Shake that booty, cutie, |
01:11:55 |
¶ That big ol' juicy brown ass, |
01:11:58 |
¶ Kick it smooth like Luther Vandy, |
01:12:02 |
¶ In the middle of M-I-ami, |
01:12:06 |
¶ We can do it in a big ol' bed ¶ |
01:12:07 |
¶ Long as you give me |
01:12:09 |
¶ Yeah, girl, that's what I said, |
01:12:13 |
¶ She's got that kind of booty ¶ |
01:12:15 |
¶ Little mama, |
01:12:17 |
¶ She's got that kind of booty, |
01:12:20 |
¶ She's got that kind of booty ¶ |
01:12:22 |
¶ Pack it up and bring it to me ¶ |
01:12:24 |
¶ Smack it up, |
01:12:26 |
¶ She's got that kind of booty ¶ |
01:12:27 |
¶ Shorty got that fat ass ¶ |
01:12:29 |
¶ Gets 'em harder than a math class ¶ |
01:12:31 |
¶ Smilin', don't you act up, |
01:12:34 |
¶ Go ahead and drop that ass low, |
01:12:38 |
¶ Nobody has to know, |
01:12:42 |
¶ You sippin' champagne, |
01:12:46 |
¶ You do that damn thing, |
01:12:49 |
¶ She's got that kind of booty ¶ |
01:12:51 |
¶ Little mama, |
01:12:53 |
¶ She's got that kind of booty ¶ |
01:12:55 |
¶ The type that'll drive you looney ¶ |
01:12:57 |
¶ She's got that kind of booty ¶ |
01:12:58 |
¶ Pack it up and bring it to me ¶ |
01:13:00 |
¶ Smack it up, let's make a movie ¶ |
01:13:02 |
¶ She's got that kind of booty ¶ |
01:13:04 |
¶ Shake that booty, |
01:13:07 |
¶ Shake that booty, |
01:13:11 |
¶ Up and down the stripper pole, |
01:13:15 |
¶ You know my package, right? |
01:13:18 |
¶ Lady, what you gotta do |
01:13:22 |
¶ Nobody move you like I do, |
01:13:25 |
¶ They counted Tallahassee classic |
01:13:29 |
¶ Girlie, let me be your daddy |
01:13:33 |
¶ She's got that kind of booty ¶ |
01:13:35 |
¶ Little mama, |
01:13:36 |
¶ She's got that kind of booty ¶ |
01:13:38 |
¶ The type that'll drive you looney ¶ |
01:13:40 |
¶ She's got that kind of booty ¶ |
01:13:42 |
¶ Pack it up and bring it to me ¶ |
01:13:44 |
¶ Smack it up, let's make a movie ¶ |
01:13:46 |
¶ She's got that kind of booty ¶ |
01:13:58 |
¶ My darling, the stars, |
01:14:03 |
¶ My darling, |
01:14:08 |
¶ My darling, |
01:14:11 |
¶ Whenever I think of you ¶ |
01:14:16 |
¶ And under this moonlit sky ¶ |
01:14:18 |
¶ I pray and dream that I will be the one, |
01:14:22 |
¶ That you'll ¶ |
01:14:27 |
¶ Bend over |
01:14:33 |
¶ From behind ¶ |
01:14:35 |
¶ Have me on all fours, |
01:14:41 |
¶ I'll give your cock |
01:14:43 |
¶ Then you'll give me |
01:14:46 |
¶ Squeeze my tits, |
01:14:49 |
¶ Then spunk all over my body ¶ |
01:14:51 |
¶ I want to be |
01:14:55 |
¶ Greasy slut ¶ |
01:14:56 |
¶ Beggin' for more, |
01:15:00 |
¶ Can't get enough ¶ |
01:15:05 |
¶ When I leave your tool ¶ |
01:15:07 |
¶ Used up, worn, and soggy ¶ |
01:15:10 |
¶ I won't stop then ¶ |
01:15:12 |
¶ Oh, no, no, no ¶ |
01:15:14 |
¶ I'll become |
01:15:20 |
¶ Let me be |
01:15:25 |
¶ Let me be |