Family Guy Presents Something Something Something Dark Side

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00:00:03 We now return to Aaron Sorkin's
00:00:07 - Where's the milk? No milk?
00:00:09 Walk with me.
00:00:10 - Where? Now?
00:00:12 - Any store? Bloomie's?
00:00:14 - What do you think?
00:00:15 I think you're right.
00:00:16 You know, I never
00:00:17 - Should I go get the milk?
00:00:21 Looks like the power's out again.
00:00:22 What, are we in Iraq?
00:00:25 Can we tell stories till it comes back on?
00:00:28 Yeah, Dad. Remember the last time you
00:00:31 Maybe you could tell us another one.
00:00:33 Well, all right.
00:00:34 This is the story of Black Snake Moan.
00:00:37 Once upon a time, Christina Ricci was
00:00:41 I'm already bored and confused.
00:00:42 Yeah, Dad. Isn't there another story like
00:00:47 There just might be, Chris.
00:02:41 His boy Elroy
00:03:28 Echo 3 to Echo 7.
00:03:31 Luke, I thought we talked about
00:03:34 Right. Sorry.
00:03:38 Carlos Spicy Wiener here. Go ahead.
00:03:40 There's a meteorite
00:03:42 I'm gonna go check it out. Won't take long.
00:03:44 Okay, but be careful.
00:03:47 Relax, Han, I'll be careful...
00:03:50 Cookie!
00:04:11 Hey, you guys, I hate to do this
00:04:14 Hey, what's that
00:04:17 - No, it's just a patch.
00:04:18 - Thank you.
00:04:20 I won't miss you.
00:04:22 Han, wait.
00:04:25 Sorry, I can't.
00:04:28 It's HanSolo64 @CompuServe. com.
00:04:31 - Comp...
00:04:34 But you can't leave now.
00:04:35 You're a natural leader and we...
00:04:37 Hey. Did you guys order some ice?
00:04:40 'Cause I got a bag of ice here.
00:04:42 Thought you might need some ice.
00:04:45 Yes, there is a lot
00:04:48 We're having a conversation here.
00:04:50 Hey. I thought
00:04:53 What? Why would I need ice?
00:04:57 What a day brightener.
00:05:00 Han, we need you.
00:05:02 - Really? "We" or "I"?
00:05:06 You don't want me to leave
00:05:08 I bet you're afraid I'm gonna
00:05:11 I'd rather kiss George Takei.
00:05:13 Hello.
00:05:20 Man, it's cold in here.
00:05:21 Beep-boop-beep. I like all these
00:05:26 That's probably pretty safe, right?
00:05:28 Captain Solo, have you seen Master Luke?
00:05:30 'Cause no one knows where he is.
00:05:31 What? Well, that doesn't sound good.
00:05:33 All right, I'm gonna go out
00:05:36 Well, I can't go outside. It's cold out there.
00:05:40 You can't go out there
00:05:42 Then I'll see you in hell!
00:05:44 Wait, Han. You'll need this.
00:05:45 - What?
00:05:48 You knucklehead.
00:06:02 Damn these stubby arms!
00:06:16 Well, this is no better.
00:06:27 Me was going to ask you to snow
00:07:00 Luke. Luke, pull your pants down.
00:07:06 Ben?
00:07:07 You look awful cold.
00:07:08 Why don't I get you
00:07:12 Ben.
00:07:13 Luke.
00:07:14 You will go to the Dagobah system and
00:07:20 Ben.
00:07:27 - Luke!
00:07:28 Hang on, kid.
00:07:29 Yoda. Dagobah system.
00:07:33 Zima soup. Yoda. Dagobah.
00:07:38 Last time I was in a dago bar
00:07:41 Go on, get out of here!
00:07:42 Well, I can't stand
00:07:48 Well, it's probably for the best.
00:07:49 There are way too many
00:07:59 This may smell bad, kid,
00:08:04 I thought they smelled bad
00:08:20 on the outside.
00:08:31 Captain Solo, do you copy?
00:08:35 Commander Skywalker, do you copy?
00:08:37 Who are you looking for?
00:08:38 Captain Solo, there you are!
00:08:40 I'm sorry, I didn't copy that.
00:08:43 Carlos Spicy Wiener, do you copy?
00:08:46 Carlos Spicy Wiener here, go ahead.
00:08:53 They found us, kid.
00:08:56 Just as soon as I grab some powder
00:09:05 Get your skis shined up
00:09:08 The taste is gonna move ya
00:09:11 Take a sniff
00:09:14 The taste is gonna move ya
00:09:18 Juicy Fruit is gonna move ya
00:09:21 It chews so soft, it gets right to ya
00:09:24 Juicy Fruit
00:09:25 The taste, the taste, the taste
00:09:31 How you doing, kid?
00:09:33 You look strong enough
00:09:35 Thanks to you.
00:09:37 Well, your managed-to-keep-me-around-
00:09:39 it looks like you managed
00:09:42 I assure you, I had nothing to do with it.
00:09:44 Yeah, right.
00:09:45 I think you just can't stand
00:09:49 Why, you stuck up, half-witted,
00:09:55 You can't use that word!
00:10:23 The boss is coming. Look busy.
00:10:25 - Lot of Empire stuff to do.
00:10:26 - Getting Empire stuff done.
00:10:28 - Yes, this is good Empire stuff.
00:10:30 Yes, I think we're done
00:10:32 Hey, dudes, what you looking at?
00:10:34 We think we found something.
00:10:38 That's it. The Rebels are there.
00:10:41 My lord, there are so many
00:10:44 It could be a phony!
00:10:47 What'd them Rebels do anyways?
00:10:49 - You know your friend Alan?
00:10:51 - They took his dog.
00:10:55 - Central Command to Jeffrey.
00:10:57 - Jeffrey, them Rebels took Zeus.
00:11:00 - I know.
00:11:03 I know.
00:11:04 Set your course for the Hoth system.
00:11:11 Hey, take care of yourself, Chewie.
00:11:13 What's this handshake business?
00:11:16 Come here. Come on.
00:11:19 I'm not really a hug person.
00:11:21 Knock it off. Come here. Come on, bring it.
00:11:24 Yeah, yeah. Hug it out, bitch.
00:11:26 Hug it out, yeah.
00:11:28 What's wrong with you?
00:11:29 What? I just wanna share
00:11:32 and shoot hot hug all over you.
00:11:34 I don't get why that's a problem.
00:11:35 Hey, Luke. Take care of yourself, okay?
00:11:38 You, too.
00:11:39 Hey, what'd you end up doing
00:11:41 I killed it and ate it!
00:11:43 - Yeah! Yeah!
00:11:44 - Rebels! Rebels!
00:11:46 - Empire sucks!
00:11:48 - Rebels! Yeah!
00:12:04 Lord Vader,
00:12:06 but the Rebels have put up
00:12:09 What are we gonna do now, buddy?
00:12:10 Admiral Ozzel came out
00:12:13 Yeah. I had that problem
00:12:16 Okay, gross. I'm gonna
00:12:21 Lord Vader, we're out of light speed and...
00:12:25 You have failed me
00:12:28 Didn't know I could choke you
00:12:30 Well, I can.
00:12:34 Don't fail me, Admiral Piett.
00:12:37 A promotion? Really?
00:12:39 Can I get business cards
00:12:42 That's not in the budget. You know,
00:12:44 I don't even have business cards.
00:12:47 - Do you have business cards?
00:12:48 You have business cards?
00:12:51 There's like a million of you.
00:12:53 Well, they're for my cookie business.
00:12:55 I don't want... My God.
00:12:57 That chocolate chip cookie
00:13:04 May I have everyone's attention please?
00:13:06 We're evacuating into outer space,
00:13:08 with literally
00:13:11 However, we have decided
00:13:13 will travel directly toward
00:13:16 - Any questions?
00:13:18 Is there someone from the military
00:13:29 Sir, Rebel ships are coming into our sector.
00:13:31 Good. Our first catch of the day.
00:13:33 Like you know how to fish.
00:13:35 Prepare to fire giant boob-nipple gun.
00:13:59 Feeling okay, sir?
00:14:00 Just like new. How about you, Dack?
00:14:02 I feel like I could take on
00:14:05 Really? 'Cause that would be awesome.
00:14:08 Hey, everyone, Dack says he's got this one.
00:14:12 You know it, bitches!
00:14:21 Hey, Imperial fleet,
00:14:34 - I think we're doomed.
00:14:35 Unless they've got any big, giant
00:14:42 Jim, robot camels.
00:14:49 Check it out, that one's wearing Crocs.
00:15:00 Echo Station 5-7, we are on our way.
00:15:02 Great. We'll see you in...
00:15:06 Echo Station 5-8, we are on our way.
00:15:08 Hurry!
00:15:25 Yes, Lord Vader,
00:15:27 You may start your landing.
00:15:29 Excellent. We'll prepare for our descent.
00:15:31 Hey. Hey, Consuela, no cleaning.
00:15:33 No cleaning while I'm doing
00:15:36 Mr. Darth, you no have
00:15:42 Well, that's not my problem.
00:15:44 No. No, you buy.
00:15:46 What if I give you the money,
00:15:49 No.
00:16:43 Crap! I'm hit!
00:16:55 OnStar. What is the nature
00:16:57 Yeah, I just got laser torpedoed
00:17:00 and I need roadside assistance.
00:17:02 Of course, sir.
00:17:05 Yeah. Yes. Yes, I'm Admiral Ackbar.
00:17:09 It's a trap.
00:17:14 I love you guys.
00:17:20 Han! What are you still doing here?
00:17:22 Well, I just realized that my spaceship
00:17:29 Imperial troops have entered the base.
00:17:33 Sorry, I dropped the thing.
00:17:55 Oh, my God, it's pregnant.
00:17:58 We're in a war. We're in a war.
00:18:16 I want the princess captured immediately.
00:18:19 Geez, Gordon, maybe today wasn't the day
00:18:23 Sorry, it's just...
00:18:27 Oh, my God, I can't remember
00:18:30 I think it was Memorial Day,
00:18:33 No, you know what? It was 4 years ago.
00:18:35 You know how long it was?
00:18:37 It was on Alderaan.
00:18:41 Are those guys getting away?
00:18:44 Those other guys will get them.
00:18:51 This bucket of bolts
00:18:54 This bucket's got a few surprises
00:18:56 Plus, me and Chewie are on it.
00:18:59 - Hell, yeah. You my nerf herder.
00:19:02 All right, Chewie, punch it.
00:19:11 Thank God that hot chick is gone.
00:19:13 Now I can let loose my Darth farts.
00:19:22 Artoo, get her ready for takeoff.
00:19:24 You may not remember,
00:19:26 I got my niece's recital today.
00:19:36 - We gotta sit through this whole thing?
00:19:40 She's number 7 and there's,
00:19:43 Relax, man.
00:19:45 I mean, as long as
00:19:47 Look, this is happening,
00:19:57 Hey, this ain't the way
00:19:59 We're not meeting up with the others.
00:20:01 We're going to the Dagobah system.
00:20:07 Hi. Excuse me. Excuse me.
00:20:08 Hi, yeah, do you know how to
00:20:10 Yeah, actually
00:20:13 Okay, great. Annoying question.
00:20:17 would you mind pulling off
00:20:21 Thank you so much.
00:20:38 Han, look!
00:20:40 Crap, there's 2 more of them
00:20:43 It's all right,
00:20:54 This Rebel lawbreaker thinks
00:20:57 The pursuing officers
00:21:01 They give him a wide berth,
00:21:05 Astonishingly, the driver makes a left,
00:21:09 What are you doing? You're not actually
00:21:13 Well, it's either that
00:21:16 Hey, you know what
00:21:19 Yeah, Paul,
00:21:21 That'll be enough of that, lad.
00:21:22 How about Eileen?
00:21:24 Ringo got it.
00:21:30 Sir, the odds of successfully
00:21:34 Never tell me the...
00:21:38 Yeah. No, let's keep going.
00:22:01 Look at that one! Look at that one there!
00:22:06 We're gonna get pulverized out here!
00:22:08 Look, we got 4 or 5 of the
00:22:10 I think we'll be fine.
00:22:32 There, that looks good.
00:22:34 Doesn't that pie look good?
00:22:38 It's in space, and we're in here.
00:22:40 Otherwise, I'd be eating it right now.
00:22:42 All right, let's park right there in that cave.
00:22:46 What are you doing? You can't park there.
00:22:49 - You're not handicapped.
00:22:52 It's a real medical condition.
00:22:54 I'm just going on record
00:23:06 I hope you know what you're doing.
00:23:08 I've just found
00:23:12 has not been productive
00:23:15 And I think that she just
00:23:24 Artoo, wake up, we're here.
00:23:28 You better hurry up and land.
00:23:30 The last half hour,
00:23:37 All the scopes are dead!
00:23:40 Sorry, that's me.
00:23:44 Okay, that's much better.
00:23:56 Swamp crashes.
00:23:59 But the "good hands" people at Allstate will
00:24:03 Professional service.
00:24:07 That's Allstate's stand.
00:24:11 Thank God for these airbags.
00:24:14 I'm okay, but the midget
00:24:24 No, no, no!
00:24:27 Artoo?
00:24:39 Artoo!
00:24:46 Artoo, are you okay?
00:24:49 I think so. Boy, who knows
00:24:54 Meanwhile, at the Legion of Doom!
00:24:56 - Not now!
00:25:04 Hey, who the hell are you?
00:25:07 What the hell is that creepy little thing?
00:25:09 Well, I'm not Yoda.
00:25:11 Okay, I'm Yoda.
00:25:12 You're Yoda?
00:25:14 You're the one
00:25:16 Will you teach me the ways of the Force?
00:25:19 No, I will not teach you
00:25:22 Okay, I'll teach you the ways of the Force.
00:25:24 But if you want to become a Jedi,
00:25:28 Did you see Van Wilder?
00:25:29 Yeah, I saw it on Comedy Central.
00:25:30 No! No, no, no!
00:25:35 I'm asking, did you see
00:25:37 with all the uncensored footage
00:25:41 No.
00:25:42 Well, that's all part of
00:25:44 It starts with
00:25:47 like Iron Man, directed by Jon Favreau.
00:25:50 Yeah, he puts himself
00:25:53 'cause he seems like the kind of guy
00:26:05 I'm glad you're here.
00:26:07 and it looks like
00:26:09 Really? A new condenser?
00:26:10 Yeah, and I would also highly recommend
00:26:12 a complete flush
00:26:14 I swear I just did that.
00:26:16 Okay, well, how about this?
00:26:18 and do that
00:26:21 I think I'd like to call my husband.
00:26:24 Look, how about this?
00:26:25 You buy the condenser,
00:26:28 I'm gonna kiss you so hard,
00:26:30 the picture's gonna change
00:26:40 Look, this isn't Windex
00:26:43 - No. No. It leave a film.
00:26:48 - No. No. I no can clean.
00:26:53 - Hello?
00:26:55 Yes, sir. Quiet, quiet. It's the Emperor.
00:26:58 - It's the Emperor.
00:27:01 - Okay. Okay, okay. Sir... Yeah.
00:27:03 - No, no. No.
00:27:05 Hello? I can't hear you.
00:27:08 I'm going to the knee pad.
00:27:21 What is thy bidding, my master?
00:27:23 Hey, I'm downloading
00:27:25 'cause I'm getting rid of my CDs.
00:27:27 Do you have any desire for
00:27:29 No.
00:27:30 - Alanis Morissette's Jagged Little Pill?
00:27:33 You sure? This thing was unstoppable.
00:27:35 This was the soundtrack to my '95.
00:27:38 - To my '95 and my '96, actually.
00:27:41 - Richard Marx, Hold On To The Night?
00:27:43 I mean... Yeah, no...
00:27:45 I mean, if you're giving stuff away,
00:27:47 All right, listen.
00:27:48 It turns out
00:27:51 I'm gonna need you
00:27:54 Really? Maybe I can make him go b!,
00:27:57 No, I mean, turn him to the dark side.
00:27:59 Well, yeah, I thought that's what you...
00:28:00 - Oh, of the Force.
00:28:01 I'll get him over to the dark side.
00:28:04 I'll just show him our recruiting video.
00:28:12 Thanks to the training
00:28:15 I have all the skills I need
00:28:19 The Empire GI Bill helped me
00:28:23 And I met my wife in the service.
00:28:27 Good thing we took pictures?
00:28:30 The Empire, chasing Rebel scum,
00:28:33 killing Luke's aunt and uncle,
00:28:35 telling people to move along.
00:28:38 The Empire, our ships are big triangles.
00:28:46 That's good. Stretch it out, stretch it out
00:28:48 because we're gonna start the training.
00:28:50 I'm ready, Master Yoda.
00:28:54 All right, kid, let's do it.
00:30:09 You know, I'm up for this, but...
00:30:11 it kind of feels like the dark side
00:30:44 There's something out there.
00:30:50 - There's something out there.
00:30:52 Out there, in the cave!
00:30:53 Crazy women, always hearing things.
00:30:56 - There's something out there.
00:31:02 What's all this slime on the floor?
00:31:04 Yeah. It feels like we're
00:31:11 Wait a minute.
00:31:13 Hang on a second.
00:31:16 What's going on here?
00:31:19 Something doesn't add up.
00:31:22 Just a minute.
00:31:25 Time out.
00:31:28 This ain't quite right.
00:31:31 Now I get it. We should go.
00:31:36 Hang on, sweetheart. We're taking off.
00:31:44 The cave is collapsing!
00:31:45 - This is no cave.
00:32:00 How come I never get
00:32:02 Shut up, Meg.
00:32:13 All right. Let's take a break.
00:32:16 Sorry. Does that.
00:32:18 All right. Now,
00:32:20 - Naked chicks. Best?
00:32:23 - Good. Worst?
00:32:26 Correct. I also would've accepted
00:32:29 but Kathy Bates is probably worse.
00:32:32 When Michael J. Fox is in the bathroom,
00:32:34 turning into a werewolf for the first time
00:32:36 and his dad's
00:32:38 and he opens the door
00:32:40 Gold star.
00:32:42 I would've also accepted the scene
00:32:44 where the guy
00:32:46 - What?
00:32:48 Go online. Look it up.
00:32:51 and he's totally got his dick out.
00:32:54 What's in there? It feels cold.
00:32:57 That place is strong with the dark side.
00:33:00 But it's very confusing
00:33:04 I'm going in there anyway.
00:33:32 You know, I guess we should take
00:33:38 You and I will settle down
00:33:41 In a cottage built for 2
00:33:46 Dear little buttercup
00:33:48 Sweet little buttercup
00:33:50 My little buttercup
00:33:52 I love you
00:34:03 - I hate these hats.
00:34:06 Okay, nice bounty hunter turnout today.
00:34:08 Let's see, we got Robot Guy,
00:34:13 Lizard Guy, who I think
00:34:16 Boba Fett, of course,
00:34:19 What are you supposed to be?
00:34:21 Raggedy Andy.
00:34:22 Get the fuck out
00:34:31 Okay, get ready to go to light speed.
00:34:41 Crap.
00:34:42 No light speed?
00:34:43 No light speed.
00:34:49 I got an idea. Chewie, turn us around.
00:34:51 You're gonna attack them?
00:34:53 "You're gonna attack them?"
00:34:55 That's how you sound.
00:34:56 "You're gonna attack them?"
00:34:58 Imagine listening to that all day.
00:35:05 They're moving into attack position.
00:35:06 Good. Put the shields up.
00:35:07 My God! You have cake?
00:35:10 It was Jim's birthday,
00:35:20 Track them.
00:35:22 Captain, the ship
00:35:25 They can't have disappeared.
00:35:28 Captain, Lord Vader demands an update
00:35:31 Tell him... Tell him we blew it up.
00:35:35 He's not on hold and he just heard you.
00:35:38 Yeah, I just heard you.
00:35:50 This is insane, Han!
00:35:52 Yeah, and even if they don't,
00:35:55 Hey, what about Lando?
00:35:57 The Lando system?
00:35:58 Lando's not a system. He's a black guy.
00:36:01 In fact, I think he might be
00:36:03 Let's hope, right?
00:36:08 All right, the fleet's breaking up.
00:36:10 Chewie, get ready
00:36:11 and we'll float away
00:36:20 Look at that. Space bums.
00:36:27 Let's be thankful
00:36:30 Be thankful for what we have.
00:36:32 My God, I hit a space bum!
00:36:43 All right, concentrate.
00:36:47 What do you see?
00:36:48 I see a woman draining your bank account
00:36:51 and running off with a real estate agent.
00:36:54 That is a bitch you see.
00:36:56 And I see my friends.
00:37:01 Wait, wait, wait. Luke, that's a stupid idea.
00:37:05 And besides, you can't fight Vader.
00:37:07 Only an experienced Jedi
00:37:09 Well, why don't you go?
00:37:12 Yeah, you're probably ready to fight Vader.
00:37:20 That boy was our last hope.
00:37:24 No, there is another.
00:37:27 I know. I have the Force, too, you know.
00:37:39 I don't have a landing permit.
00:37:44 What the hell's he firing at me for?
00:37:46 - I told you not to shoot.
00:37:48 - Well, I'm steering.
00:37:49 - No, I am.
00:37:51 - So do I. There's 2.
00:37:52 - I know.
00:37:53 - We lost them.
00:37:55 No, it's going in my report.
00:38:18 - Lando!
00:38:23 Hey, let me introduce everybody.
00:38:26 And this is my special friend, Leia.
00:38:31 You don't know my name, do you?
00:38:33 What are you talking about?
00:38:35 We've been through
00:38:37 Of course I know you, slugger.
00:38:39 - Yeah, sure. Nice to meet you. I'm C-3PO.
00:38:42 I was just gonna introduce you, C-3PO.
00:38:45 Maybe we should go inside.
00:38:47 Yeah, let's get inside, C-3PO.
00:38:48 You ever been to Cloud City, C-3PO?
00:39:10 J. Crew outlet store.
00:39:13 Space summer is right around the corner.
00:39:21 My God. What happened?
00:39:23 I got into a slap fight with a prep droid
00:39:27 Are you guys all ready for dinner?
00:39:29 I don't know,
00:39:31 I might just stay in the room
00:39:34 Geez, it's only like 2 hours earlier
00:39:37 I'm having my period, okay?
00:39:39 Please come in.
00:39:46 Okay, the door's gonna open
00:39:49 and point your guns at them.
00:39:50 Or, you know... Or should it just be me?
00:39:52 Yeah, you know what?
00:39:54 Get out. Go, go, go. It's just me.
00:39:57 I wasn't ready. Hi!
00:40:02 Wonder Woman
00:40:07 Look, the Giant Chicken's Boba Fett.
00:40:13 Very well, Solo, if you won't talk,
00:40:15 we have very effective means of torture.
00:40:19 Well, I don't want to be tortured.
00:40:21 All right, Luke's on Dagobah,
00:40:23 and I'm the one who clogged
00:40:26 That was disgusting!
00:40:28 You know, because of that, I had to use
00:40:31 All right, start the torture.
00:40:36 Where have all the cowboys gone?
00:40:40 Guys! Shut it off. Shut it off!
00:41:00 This facility should be adequate
00:41:02 to freeze Skywalker
00:41:04 We'll test it on Captain Solo.
00:41:07 And as long as we're freezing things,
00:41:08 why don't you toss this ice cube tray
00:41:11 And be careful with the toothpicks.
00:41:13 Lando, Lando. Lando!
00:41:15 Be careful with the toothpicks.
00:41:24 Chewie, you have to take care
00:41:27 Take care of her?
00:41:28 - You mean like...
00:41:30 No. Just make sure she stays safe.
00:41:32 Okay. That'll be fun for me.
00:41:43 I love you.
00:41:45 Fuck off.
00:42:42 Ladies and gentlemen,
00:42:50 The Force is with you, young Skywalker.
00:42:52 But you are not a Jedi yet.
00:42:55 You're getting there.
00:42:57 I can defeat you, Vader. You'll see.
00:43:03 Okay, so, no cutting off body parts.
00:43:06 No below the belt,
00:43:09 And you know what?
00:43:11 You know, let's not have
00:43:26 Car. Car coming!
00:43:30 We're clear.
00:43:46 Nice work, fellas! And, David,
00:43:51 so you get to invite 4 of
00:43:54 Hurray!
00:43:58 Put Captain Solo in the cargo hold.
00:44:17 No. We've lost Han.
00:44:21 Well, even though
00:44:23 we should rescue him in 3 years.
00:44:51 Oh, God. Oh, my God.
00:44:54 I would give my right hand
00:45:01 No. Damn it.
00:45:05 Let me see
00:45:09 Hey, baby.
00:45:12 Yeah, that's right.
00:45:16 God! Nobody's touched me
00:45:21 - No! I think I hear my husband.
00:45:25 What the hell is this?
00:45:27 Thank God you're home, honey.
00:45:31 That's bullshit.
00:45:32 You get out of our home!
00:45:39 Oh, man. How am I
00:45:58 Have we ever hit anybody with these guns?
00:46:00 I hit a bird once.
00:46:11 Come on, Luke, join the dark side.
00:46:14 Well, who's in it?
00:46:16 Me, the Emperor, this guy Scott.
00:46:20 And James Caan.
00:46:22 I'll be your friend
00:46:24 I'll never join the dark side. Never!
00:46:37 Hey, a hand.
00:46:40 There is no escape.
00:46:44 - Join me, Luke.
00:46:48 Obi-Wan never told you
00:46:51 He told me you killed him.
00:46:53 No, I... Hang on.
00:46:55 Spoiler alert.
00:46:56 Okay. No, I am your father.
00:47:00 Well, that's fine,
00:47:02 What?
00:47:04 Join me and we can rule the galaxy
00:47:08 You know? I mean, it doesn't have to be
00:47:12 you know, as 2 really close guys
00:47:15 Just 2 good-looking guys
00:47:18 running the galaxy together, you know?
00:47:20 Just getting the job done, you know?
00:47:23 Maybe we'd do it occasionally,
00:47:25 'cause we're just 2 guys
00:47:29 I mean, it's not even about
00:47:31 but that's a part of it,
00:47:57 Hey, did you see a hand come down here?
00:48:00 No.
00:48:14 Ben. Ben.
00:48:17 Leia. Leia.
00:48:21 Tom Selleck.
00:48:31 Leia.
00:48:36 Luke. Turn the ship around.
00:48:40 What, are you out of your mind?
00:48:42 I said turn us around!
00:48:43 Turn the ship around
00:48:47 Leia knows where Luke is
00:48:51 Turn it upside down
00:48:55 Take it back to Bespin
00:48:59 Is that him?
00:49:01 I don't know.
00:49:02 Luke, if that's you,
00:49:07 No, your right hand.
00:49:08 It's me, you fuckers!
00:49:45 - Luke.
00:49:47 - Luke?
00:49:49 - Wait. Luke Skywalker?
00:49:51 My God! This is so stupid,
00:49:54 His number is right next to yours
00:49:58 So, how's everything been going
00:50:01 It's good.
00:50:02 And, you know,
00:50:05 "2 dudes running the galaxy" plan.
00:50:07 Yeah, listen, I gotta go.
00:50:09 Sure, sure, you're busy. It's okay.
00:50:11 All right. Well, I'll talk to you
00:50:14 - Yeah.
00:50:26 Prepare to lock the tractor beam
00:50:29 All right, Chewie, punch it!
00:50:37 Oh, man. All right, someone's
00:50:39 Who was in charge of the tractor beam?
00:50:40 That was me.
00:50:42 Yeah? Well...
00:50:43 You have failed me for the last time.
00:50:48 - I can still breathe just fine.
00:50:51 - You're choking my...
00:50:54 For the tractor beam thing.
00:51:08 Don't worry, we'll find Jabba the Hutt
00:51:11 and we'll get Han back.
00:51:14 Why are you wearing Han's clothes?
00:51:16 Seriously, watch the actual movie.
00:51:18 Lando is wearing Han's clothes
00:51:22 Take care, you two.
00:51:26 There he goes with that crap again.
00:51:30 All right. Is this thing good to go?
00:51:33 Yeah, but practice on a hot dog first.
00:51:35 Otherwise you might rip your dick off.
00:51:40 Someday, I'm gonna buy my moms
00:52:16 Wait a minute. This is how it ends?
00:52:18 There's so many questions
00:52:21 Are you Luke Skywalker?
00:52:22 - Yeah.
00:52:25 A letter.
00:52:28 "Dear Luke, if my calculations are correct,
00:52:31 "you should receive this letter at the exact
00:52:35 "I have been living happily for the
00:52:39 "The lightning bolt that... "
00:52:40 1885! The doc's alive!
00:52:43 I mean, he's in the Old West,
00:52:49 Subtitles: Arigon
00:52:58 The end.
00:53:02 Well, let's see Robot Chicken top this one.
00:53:04 Actually, I think they did a pretty
00:53:07 Well, I'll have to take your word for it.
00:53:11 It's on Cartoon Network's Adult Swim, Dad.
00:53:14 I don't know that.
00:53:16 and I don't know that anyone else has.
00:53:18 I think plenty of people have.
00:53:21 Yeah? All 42 of them?
00:53:24 I'm not gonna let you get
00:53:25 I'm not gonna let you get to me.
00:53:27 Well, maybe I got time
00:53:29 It's called Without A Paddle.
00:53:30 Fuck you, Dad!