|
Fanboys
|
| 00:01:39 |
# When we're winning # |
| 00:01:41 |
# We'/ be singing # |
| 00:01:44 |
#I get knocked down |
| 00:01:47 |
# You're never gonna |
| 00:01:48 |
#I get knocked down |
| 00:01:51 |
# You're never gonna |
| 00:01:53 |
#I get knocked down |
| 00:01:55 |
# You're never gonna |
| 00:01:57 |
#I get knocked down ## |
| 00:01:59 |
Halloween just got awesome, bitches! |
| 00:02:02 |
Rrepare for the entrance of Lord Vader: |
| 00:02:05 |
Give yourself to the Dark Side. |
| 00:02:08 |
It's the only way you can save- |
| 00:02:11 |
You wore the same thing last year: |
| 00:02:13 |
- You son of a bitch: - I'm sorry, |
| 00:02:16 |
It's totaly restricting my junk: |
| 00:02:18 |
You're gonna spil it or fill it, dude? |
| 00:02:21 |
Zoe. |
| 00:02:23 |
- Hi. |
| 00:02:25 |
- Yeah. |
| 00:02:28 |
You are... |
| 00:02:32 |
I'm Picasso's Blue Period. |
| 00:02:34 |
- Get it? Blue Period. |
| 00:02:37 |
And you are? |
| 00:02:39 |
Car salesman. |
| 00:02:41 |
I came straight from work, so this is- |
| 00:02:43 |
- Weak as usual, Bottler. |
| 00:02:46 |
Are you here |
| 00:02:49 |
Nope: That's just a pleasant surprise: |
| 00:02:51 |
Watch the cape, uh, uh- |
| 00:02:52 |
Well, enter at your own risk. |
| 00:02:55 |
Oh, my God: |
| 00:02:57 |
You guys have both got to stop |
| 00:02:59 |
that Boba Fett is some kind of bad-ass. |
| 00:03:02 |
All right? He has a jet pack. |
| 00:03:06 |
- Really cool. |
| 00:03:08 |
When it comes time for battle, the man's |
| 00:03:11 |
If you diss the Fett again... |
| 00:03:13 |
I wil corn-hole you with a lightsaberl |
| 00:03:15 |
# Whoop, there it is # |
| 00:03:16 |
- Jesus. Is that Bottler? |
| 00:03:19 |
- Hey, guys. |
| 00:03:20 |
# Whoop, there it is # |
| 00:03:25 |
You got a lot of nerve |
| 00:03:31 |
Give Daddy a huggy. |
| 00:03:33 |
- Yeah! |
| 00:03:35 |
You little bastard, I missed you. |
| 00:03:37 |
I hope that's just your blaster poking me. |
| 00:03:40 |
- God, it's been parsecs. |
| 00:03:44 |
- Linus. |
| 00:03:47 |
- It's been, like, a year now, right? |
| 00:03:51 |
- You still drawing? - No. I bailed on |
| 00:03:54 |
- How's life in the auto trade? |
| 00:03:58 |
Um, you? |
| 00:03:59 |
Comic book store's still afloat... |
| 00:04:01 |
but the geeks aren't biting |
| 00:04:04 |
- You? - Get my money together so |
| 00:04:08 |
I'm gonna call it the Hutch Touch. |
| 00:04:10 |
That's funny. I could've sworn you were |
| 00:04:14 |
It's not a garage. |
| 00:04:16 |
It's a carriage house. |
| 00:04:18 |
Carriage house. |
| 00:04:20 |
How is your carriage? |
| 00:04:28 |
Ah! Ah! Ah! |
| 00:04:31 |
Hey, uh, have any of you guys |
| 00:04:34 |
Uh, no, but I have seen |
| 00:04:38 |
who brought his Toughbook to a party. |
| 00:04:40 |
- I promised Rogue Leader I'd write |
| 00:04:44 |
- She is my girlfriend. |
| 00:04:47 |
I met her in a Jedi chat room: |
| 00:04:50 |
She's intelligent and acerbic and, uh- |
| 00:04:55 |
She's even got connections |
| 00:04:57 |
Who's also got |
| 00:04:59 |
You guys are al just jealous |
| 00:05:02 |
As a cross between |
| 00:05:04 |
and Janeane Garofalo: |
| 00:05:06 |
Tell 'em how you described yourself. |
| 00:05:08 |
I was perfectly honest with her. |
| 00:05:10 |
- You said you looked like |
| 00:05:12 |
You caled yourself white chocolate: |
| 00:05:15 |
I am white chocolate. |
| 00:05:17 |
Oh, oh! Windows, it's my turn. |
| 00:05:20 |
- Give it to me: |
| 00:05:22 |
Ah! Okay. |
| 00:05:24 |
Official Episode I countdown... |
| 00:05:26 |
is six months, 12 days, |
| 00:05:30 |
I would sell my soul to see |
| 00:05:34 |
Dude, I would sel my left nut: |
| 00:05:36 |
- So you see how serious I am? - I cannot |
| 00:05:41 |
Oh, shush your mouth, woman. |
| 00:05:48 |
- Oh, please, not this again. |
| 00:05:52 |
"Tell us about |
| 00:05:54 |
Lmagine. |
| 00:05:56 |
Okay? |
| 00:05:58 |
We drive across the country in one night. |
| 00:06:02 |
We break into the Skywalker Ranch::: |
| 00:06:06 |
And steal ourselves a print. |
| 00:06:10 |
Yeahl |
| 00:06:13 |
You guys have been talking about this |
| 00:06:16 |
- It's not gonna happen. |
| 00:06:18 |
Well, first of all, it's 2,000 miles away. |
| 00:06:20 |
Second of all, even if you could get there, |
| 00:06:24 |
It's been a blast, Bottler. |
| 00:06:27 |
Way to douche up the party. |
| 00:06:29 |
Nothing is impossible. |
| 00:06:35 |
And I'I guarantee I'I find you a new |
| 00:06:40 |
- Right, girls? |
| 00:06:43 |
Hool |
| 00:06:44 |
Yeahl |
| 00:06:47 |
All right! |
| 00:06:48 |
Attaboy, Eric. |
| 00:06:52 |
Thanks, Pop. |
| 00:06:53 |
Reminds me of, what, that |
| 00:06:55 |
Yeah: Top Gun. |
| 00:07:01 |
- Thanks. |
| 00:07:05 |
I'll handle this, Myron. |
| 00:07:08 |
- Hey. |
| 00:07:11 |
I should start you guys off |
| 00:07:13 |
unless you're cool riding |
| 00:07:15 |
you've had since the 10th grade. |
| 00:07:17 |
Hey, hey, hey! |
| 00:07:19 |
She may not look like much, |
| 00:07:23 |
Uh, why are you guys here? |
| 00:07:25 |
Do you wanna look around the lot |
| 00:07:27 |
No: Uh, we came to talk about Linus: |
| 00:07:30 |
Well, he just needs to realize |
| 00:07:32 |
- That's just kind of the way things work: |
| 00:07:36 |
- What? |
| 00:07:39 |
He's tried everything to get better, |
| 00:07:43 |
Odds say three, four months maybe: |
| 00:07:46 |
And you guys are telling me this now? |
| 00:07:48 |
We wanted to tell you |
| 00:07:50 |
but Linus made us promise |
| 00:07:53 |
The way we see it, you guys have been |
| 00:07:57 |
So we figured you got the right to know: |
| 00:08:00 |
How am I supposed to make my peace |
| 00:08:04 |
With all due respect, Eric, |
| 00:08:09 |
- L-You know what? |
| 00:08:11 |
- Jesus Christ. |
| 00:08:16 |
What did you just say, you giant bastard? |
| 00:08:18 |
- Well, well put. |
| 00:08:20 |
- Still see you're driving the nerd-mobile. |
| 00:08:23 |
Hey, you know what? While you're out here |
| 00:08:26 |
I convinced Dad to let me |
| 00:08:29 |
So suck it. Huh? |
| 00:08:31 |
Aw, see, you flinched: |
| 00:08:34 |
Nanu-nanu. |
| 00:08:36 |
Get a haircut. |
| 00:08:39 |
- We should have killed him when |
| 00:08:42 |
Jackass. Linus is coming over |
| 00:08:46 |
Bye, Eric. |
| 00:08:54 |
No lightningl No lightningl |
| 00:08:57 |
- Aw, shit. I'm a midget. |
| 00:09:00 |
Ah! |
| 00:09:03 |
Wow! |
| 00:09:05 |
- There's no teaming up: |
| 00:09:08 |
Owl Head crampl |
| 00:09:10 |
Don't kill me. |
| 00:09:13 |
- Hey. |
| 00:09:14 |
You made it, man. |
| 00:09:18 |
Your mom said clean up this shit-hole |
| 00:09:24 |
That's emotional blackmail, |
| 00:09:26 |
- Screw youl |
| 00:09:29 |
- You don't pay rentl |
| 00:09:32 |
- What the hell is he doing here, man? |
| 00:09:35 |
Grab a controller. |
| 00:09:37 |
We're ganging up on Windows in Mario Kart. |
| 00:09:39 |
I can't. |
| 00:09:43 |
Can I talk to you alone, man? |
| 00:09:47 |
Linus. Hey, stop walking. |
| 00:09:51 |
- Stop. What the hell, man? I did nothing |
| 00:09:56 |
Absolutely nothing: |
| 00:09:58 |
Eric Bottler graduates high school |
| 00:10:00 |
You bailed on our plan, Bottler! |
| 00:10:02 |
What plan? |
| 00:10:04 |
Come on, man. |
| 00:10:06 |
I did what I had to do, dude. I grew up. |
| 00:10:10 |
- Look at you guys: |
| 00:10:12 |
with this cheap suit, |
| 00:10:15 |
But I know you better than anybody... |
| 00:10:17 |
and deep down, |
| 00:10:21 |
- Miserable, huh? |
| 00:10:24 |
Miserable is wasting your life |
| 00:10:27 |
arguing whether or not |
| 00:10:29 |
You know as well as anybody... |
| 00:10:33 |
that as soon as Luke knew Leia |
| 00:10:37 |
They still kiss. |
| 00:10:38 |
That was Leia kissing Luke |
| 00:10:41 |
That was the second time. |
| 00:10:43 |
The first time they're about to die! |
| 00:10:45 |
- They were not, you liar. |
| 00:10:48 |
You know when you're a sibling, okay? |
| 00:10:51 |
- There's no telepathy between Luke and |
| 00:10:54 |
It was romance in a sci-fi opera! |
| 00:10:56 |
Who cares about this shit, man? Huh? |
| 00:10:58 |
- Who cares about- |
| 00:11:13 |
You need a new car. |
| 00:11:16 |
They were siblings. |
| 00:11:23 |
You are trapped now: |
| 00:11:26 |
You've made your last mistake. |
| 00:11:39 |
We need to talk. |
| 00:11:41 |
Sure, Pop. |
| 00:11:44 |
Okay. Here's the deal. |
| 00:11:46 |
It's time for the world |
| 00:11:50 |
And his name's Big Eric. |
| 00:11:53 |
Big Eric who? |
| 00:11:54 |
Big Eric you. |
| 00:11:57 |
It's all yours, kiddo. |
| 00:12:00 |
Al15locations, from here to Seattle: |
| 00:12:03 |
I mean- Uh, yes. |
| 00:12:06 |
Yeah: I mean, wow: |
| 00:12:09 |
- Take the hat. |
| 00:12:12 |
Go ahead. |
| 00:12:14 |
No, really. |
| 00:12:15 |
- Take the hat. |
| 00:12:17 |
- Take the damn hat. |
| 00:12:21 |
My God. Your mom would be so proud |
| 00:12:24 |
I know, Pop. |
| 00:12:26 |
Hey. You and me? |
| 00:12:37 |
You want to take your shirt off. |
| 00:12:45 |
You want to take your shirt off. God. |
| 00:12:48 |
- You wanna take that shirt off? |
| 00:12:51 |
You have been trying thatJedi mind shit |
| 00:12:54 |
- It doesn't work. |
| 00:12:57 |
- He's been geeking out |
| 00:13:00 |
Nothing can tear him away: |
| 00:13:02 |
- Ah! |
| 00:13:05 |
Ah, I love the feeling of fresh air |
| 00:13:09 |
Oh, ho-ho! |
| 00:13:12 |
See that? |
| 00:13:15 |
What about me? |
| 00:13:21 |
Hey. |
| 00:13:31 |
What'll it be, fellas? |
| 00:13:33 |
- How much for the phaser gun? |
| 00:13:35 |
Sorry, Garfunkel. |
| 00:13:39 |
Well, then, Slim, |
| 00:13:42 |
Then why do you have |
| 00:13:45 |
We keep this one here to suss out |
| 00:13:48 |
and tell them to get |
| 00:13:50 |
So get the hell off of our land. |
| 00:13:52 |
Get the hell off of our land! |
| 00:13:56 |
Get out ofhere, |
| 00:14:06 |
- Hey. |
| 00:14:09 |
You guys know where a guy can pawn off |
| 00:14:12 |
- Hey! |
| 00:14:14 |
Look at that. |
| 00:14:16 |
Dude, you had sick skills back then. |
| 00:14:19 |
Yeah. I would've been broke and living |
| 00:14:22 |
- It's a carriage house. |
| 00:14:24 |
I have something else |
| 00:14:30 |
Well, what have we got here? |
| 00:14:34 |
Ohio to Califor- |
| 00:14:38 |
Linus laid the whole thing out |
| 00:14:40 |
I figure it's time |
| 00:14:43 |
What's your game plan? |
| 00:14:45 |
We storm the ranch, or we die trying. |
| 00:14:47 |
Yeah. |
| 00:14:51 |
Well, you guys were |
| 00:14:53 |
- We were six Zimas to the wind |
| 00:14:56 |
Come on. You even said the Rogue Leader |
| 00:14:59 |
Rogue Leader? Rlease, man: |
| 00:15:02 |
- Her! |
| 00:15:04 |
- Maybe it's time that he does. |
| 00:15:07 |
Why would we even try anything like this? |
| 00:15:09 |
For Linus. |
| 00:15:17 |
Huh? |
| 00:15:21 |
No. |
| 00:15:23 |
- No? |
| 00:15:25 |
Aw, Linus, you've got to go. |
| 00:15:27 |
This is a conquest for the ages. |
| 00:15:30 |
Our names shal become legend::: |
| 00:15:32 |
Spoken in hushed tones |
| 00:15:35 |
And we'll get laid. |
| 00:15:39 |
#More than |
| 00:15:47 |
- Okay, please stop that. |
| 00:15:52 |
I just don't wanna go |
| 00:15:55 |
Check this out, man. |
| 00:16:08 |
Floor plans to the Lucas Ranch. |
| 00:16:10 |
- Yeah. Mm-hmm. |
| 00:16:14 |
My life partner, Rogue Leader, |
| 00:16:17 |
The question you got to ask yourself is... |
| 00:16:19 |
"Do you have the nut sack |
| 00:16:29 |
If I do this, it doesn't change anything. |
| 00:16:38 |
I'll grab my suitcase |
| 00:16:40 |
- Yes! |
| 00:16:43 |
- Told you. I knew he'd go. |
| 00:16:45 |
Please stop humping. |
| 00:16:47 |
- Oh, God. I'm Jabba the Hump. |
| 00:16:50 |
- Chewie! |
| 00:16:55 |
Wait a second: Whoa: |
| 00:16:59 |
It's the same rules as shotgun. |
| 00:17:02 |
- Furball, you do the honors? |
| 00:17:08 |
Strap in, fellas. |
| 00:17:13 |
Whool |
| 00:17:21 |
What the hell, Hutch? |
| 00:17:24 |
- Ever want a little variety? |
| 00:17:27 |
Ohl |
| 00:17:30 |
Rule number one: |
| 00:17:34 |
All Rush, all the time. |
| 00:17:36 |
No exceptions: |
| 00:17:38 |
Rule number two: |
| 00:17:40 |
Nobody touch the red button. |
| 00:17:42 |
And I mean never touch the red button: |
| 00:17:46 |
Most importantly, |
| 00:17:50 |
There's no jerking it in my van. |
| 00:17:53 |
What? |
| 00:17:55 |
Fine. |
| 00:17:59 |
Don't rol your eyes at me, Admiral Jackbar: |
| 00:18:05 |
"Established in 1985... |
| 00:18:07 |
"the Skywalker Ranch |
| 00:18:09 |
of George Lucas's filmmaking empire. " |
| 00:18:11 |
So according to Rogue Leader's map... |
| 00:18:13 |
our best odds for finding |
| 00:18:17 |
Oh, my God. |
| 00:18:21 |
And we meet Rogue Leader at a coffee shop |
| 00:18:24 |
- Mm-hmm. - She's gonna give us |
| 00:18:27 |
- to get into the compound. |
| 00:18:29 |
White chocolate finally gets |
| 00:18:31 |
- Ohl |
| 00:18:34 |
Wel, according to this, |
| 00:18:37 |
So we got 26 hours |
| 00:18:41 |
Consider it done. |
| 00:18:47 |
Ah! |
| 00:18:57 |
Wakey, wakey: Hands off steakey: |
| 00:19:02 |
- It's time for Hutch's pit stop. |
| 00:19:06 |
Some say heaven. |
| 00:19:09 |
Iowa? |
| 00:19:11 |
- Iowa? |
| 00:19:15 |
Hutch, we're supposed |
| 00:19:17 |
Welcome to Riverside, gentlemen... |
| 00:19:19 |
future birthplace of one |
| 00:19:24 |
Enemy territory! Nice. |
| 00:19:27 |
Man, you drove all night for this? |
| 00:19:30 |
Dude, I'd drive all year for the chance |
| 00:19:33 |
You know what? |
| 00:19:39 |
Let's crack some Trekkie skulls! |
| 00:19:41 |
Let's do itl |
| 00:19:46 |
And it is believed |
| 00:19:50 |
Captain James Tiberius Kirk will be born. |
| 00:19:53 |
Hence, the statue immortalizing him::: |
| 00:19:56 |
Grappling with his most accursed nemesis. |
| 00:20:00 |
Ricardo Montalbán? |
| 00:20:02 |
Genetically engineered tyrant Khan. |
| 00:20:06 |
- It doesn't look like either of them. |
| 00:20:08 |
That is because the whores at Viacom |
| 00:20:12 |
if we used their likenesses, |
| 00:20:14 |
Yes: The gentleman in the beige: |
| 00:20:17 |
I was wondering what did Sulu find |
| 00:20:20 |
Sulu clearly found a standard issue |
| 00:20:25 |
I believe it was the Captain's log. |
| 00:20:28 |
Very good: |
| 00:20:30 |
A laugh a day keeps the doctor away, |
| 00:20:34 |
- Ooh. |
| 00:20:36 |
- Ah! |
| 00:20:38 |
- Hey! |
| 00:20:41 |
What is the Klingon translation |
| 00:20:52 |
Yeah. Yeah. Okay. |
| 00:20:56 |
Looks like we got more Lucas hounds |
| 00:20:59 |
Congratulations, gentlemen, |
| 00:21:01 |
your Darth Vader take on one Borg drone. |
| 00:21:04 |
And we'll see who's laughing then. |
| 00:21:06 |
Darth Vader can put the entire Borg |
| 00:21:11 |
Uh, Darth Vader has asthma... |
| 00:21:14 |
so name me one Star Trek character |
| 00:21:17 |
'cause I'm drawing a blank. |
| 00:21:19 |
Name me one |
| 00:21:21 |
- Yeah. |
| 00:21:23 |
Well, no one's gay in Star Trek, |
| 00:21:26 |
Captain Picard. |
| 00:21:27 |
Captain Picard is not gay. |
| 00:21:30 |
- Come on. "Make it so!" |
| 00:21:33 |
I hate to break it to you losers, |
| 00:21:37 |
Ah, no, he didn't: No, he didn't: |
| 00:21:39 |
What did you just say? |
| 00:21:43 |
- Is there a problem here? |
| 00:21:46 |
The admiral here just |
| 00:21:49 |
- Good one. |
| 00:21:52 |
A Trekkie is derogatory |
| 00:21:54 |
Trekker is what we're called now. |
| 00:21:57 |
Oh, I'm sorry. |
| 00:22:02 |
Just take a look-see here. |
| 00:22:04 |
What's with the man-purse? |
| 00:22:06 |
Yep. As I thought... |
| 00:22:08 |
scanner reads "douche bag. " |
| 00:22:20 |
Push me, I'll kill your whole Starfleet. |
| 00:22:24 |
Unbelievable! |
| 00:22:27 |
Snikt! Snitk! |
| 00:22:29 |
Attack, you cowards! |
| 00:22:33 |
- Hutch! |
| 00:22:38 |
Evasive maneuvers! |
| 00:22:57 |
- My ear! |
| 00:23:00 |
Nighty-night, Spock-sucker. |
| 00:23:05 |
Beam this, bitch! |
| 00:23:07 |
Time-out! |
| 00:23:18 |
- Disable their vehicle. |
| 00:23:21 |
Get in the vanl |
| 00:23:23 |
Disable the vehicle. |
| 00:23:27 |
Kill the Star-roids! |
| 00:23:29 |
Get theml |
| 00:23:32 |
Han Solo is still a bitch! |
| 00:23:35 |
Nobody calls Han Solo a bitch. |
| 00:23:44 |
Yeah! |
| 00:23:50 |
Hey, Bottler, hit 'em |
| 00:23:55 |
Klingon to this. |
| 00:24:02 |
Kha-a-a-an! |
| 00:24:10 |
Kha-a-a-an! |
| 00:24:19 |
Whoo! |
| 00:24:22 |
I took that Vulcan down hard. |
| 00:24:25 |
I rolled him into the dirt |
| 00:24:28 |
Tauntaun, my ass: If it wasn't for me, |
| 00:24:33 |
What fight were you watching? |
| 00:24:36 |
The emperor? I don't remember the emperor |
| 00:24:40 |
- Oh, my God. That's right. |
| 00:24:43 |
I can feel |
| 00:24:54 |
All right. Time-out. |
| 00:24:58 |
We had to take your van, Hutch: |
| 00:25:00 |
I have access to literally |
| 00:25:03 |
but we had to take your van. |
| 00:25:05 |
Yeah, well, I had a spare tire... |
| 00:25:08 |
but some tardo took it out |
| 00:25:11 |
What? We're on a covert operation. |
| 00:25:14 |
How can you be on a covert operation |
| 00:25:16 |
Oh! Wait. |
| 00:25:18 |
What in Greedo's name is that? |
| 00:25:24 |
Talk about a wretched hive |
| 00:25:27 |
Hmm. |
| 00:25:29 |
You guys stay right here. |
| 00:25:32 |
How you doing, fellas? |
| 00:25:34 |
So our car broke down |
| 00:25:37 |
Is there anyone you know who can help us? |
| 00:25:39 |
No. |
| 00:25:42 |
Can I have some water? |
| 00:25:45 |
Yeah, a glass of water, please. |
| 00:25:46 |
Great. |
| 00:25:53 |
Pirate teeth. |
| 00:25:55 |
- Rirate teeth: Don't: |
| 00:25:58 |
A hundred bucks. |
| 00:25:59 |
For a glass of water? |
| 00:26:03 |
Sure you will. |
| 00:26:05 |
Hell, no. Hell, no. |
| 00:26:09 |
Word to the wise, ese: |
| 00:26:12 |
- Oohl - Drop the tough-ass |
| 00:26:17 |
And you won't like me when I'm angry. |
| 00:26:19 |
Hmm, I think I would. |
| 00:26:21 |
- Hutch, let's not do this. |
| 00:26:23 |
Nah. Nah. Nah. |
| 00:26:24 |
This guy wants |
| 00:26:28 |
I used to rape guys 15 times |
| 00:26:34 |
So you best back off... |
| 00:26:36 |
- or, so help me God, I'm gonna |
| 00:26:39 |
- No. Hutch. |
| 00:26:41 |
- There's kind of a thing in this bar: |
| 00:26:43 |
Lxnay on the ass pounding: |
| 00:26:50 |
A hundred dollars? |
| 00:26:52 |
Afraid it's too late for that, ese: |
| 00:26:56 |
Our midnight entertainment bailed. |
| 00:26:59 |
Time to pay for that drink. |
| 00:27:03 |
Oh, dear God. |
| 00:27:09 |
We have to strip to Menudo? |
| 00:27:12 |
You got a problem with Menudo? |
| 00:27:20 |
That's it, man! |
| 00:27:22 |
"Nobody puts Baby in a corner!" |
| 00:27:25 |
You want some Swayze action, bitches? |
| 00:27:28 |
Yeah! |
| 00:27:30 |
Whoo! |
| 00:27:41 |
I'm gonna do it. |
| 00:27:47 |
He's got one bal: |
| 00:27:49 |
Oh, that's disgusting: |
| 00:27:52 |
Okay, I had a... |
| 00:27:56 |
torrid lightsaber battle |
| 00:27:59 |
Al right, al right, al right: |
| 00:28:06 |
- You boys took a wrong turn? |
| 00:28:09 |
The Chief can fix it. |
| 00:28:12 |
The Chief? |
| 00:28:26 |
This is some kick-ass guac |
| 00:28:31 |
- I feel funny. |
| 00:28:33 |
- I feel good. |
| 00:28:42 |
Guys, I don't think we're eating... |
| 00:28:45 |
your everyday garden-variety guacamole. |
| 00:28:48 |
I got recipe from Emeril: |
| 00:28:50 |
Avocado, onion, |
| 00:28:54 |
- Bam! |
| 00:28:56 |
And the Chief's secret ingredient. |
| 00:28:58 |
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. |
| 00:29:02 |
Oh, my God: |
| 00:29:03 |
- What? |
| 00:29:06 |
There's an ewok right beside you. |
| 00:29:10 |
Oh, wow: She's humping your leg: |
| 00:29:15 |
She's humping your leg: |
| 00:29:18 |
Wahh! |
| 00:29:27 |
Death is but a path to life, |
| 00:29:31 |
To the universe. |
| 00:29:33 |
I know what you mean. |
| 00:29:36 |
You mean the Force: |
| 00:29:38 |
The Force: |
| 00:29:41 |
Guys, my dad is gonna kill me if I don't |
| 00:29:45 |
Putz. Screw it, man. |
| 00:29:57 |
- No! |
| 00:30:00 |
Come to the Dark Side. |
| 00:30:03 |
- The Dark Side. |
| 00:30:12 |
Rogue Leader: |
| 00:30:16 |
What the hell you doing, man? |
| 00:30:18 |
Oh, God. Don't flatter yourself, okay? |
| 00:30:21 |
It's just my R2. |
| 00:30:22 |
Man, you wish you had |
| 00:30:28 |
- Yeahl |
| 00:30:31 |
Hah! Van! |
| 00:30:34 |
Son of a whore! |
| 00:30:38 |
The Chief fixed it while you were asleep. |
| 00:30:40 |
The Chief fixed it. |
| 00:30:45 |
He's the Chief. |
| 00:30:47 |
- Why didn't you say so? - The Chief likes |
| 00:30:52 |
It causes confusion, |
| 00:30:55 |
Well, you're cool as balls, |
| 00:31:00 |
Wonder Twins power activate. |
| 00:31:03 |
It's been interesting. |
| 00:31:07 |
Thanks. |
| 00:31:09 |
You need it more than I do. |
| 00:31:11 |
Wow. Thank you. I, uh- |
| 00:31:16 |
- Good luck. |
| 00:31:19 |
Who's up for Texas, boys? |
| 00:31:22 |
#Lump was limp and lonely |
| 00:31:25 |
#Lump slipped on a kiss |
| 00:31:28 |
#She spent her 20s |
| 00:31:31 |
#Life limped along |
| 00:31:35 |
- #She's lump, she's lump She's in my head # |
| 00:31:40 |
- Hey- |
| 00:31:42 |
- Yeah! |
| 00:31:46 |
#Ah # |
| 00:31:50 |
#Bah |
| 00:31:53 |
#Bah # |
| 00:31:56 |
- Yes! |
| 00:32:00 |
Thank you for the blue bals, ladiesl |
| 00:32:13 |
Harrison Ford |
| 00:32:17 |
In the history of cinema? |
| 00:32:19 |
He's Han Solo, Indiana Jones. Yes! |
| 00:32:21 |
- Deckard from Blade Runner: |
| 00:32:24 |
Greatest actor of all time. |
| 00:32:26 |
He's never done a bad movie: |
| 00:32:32 |
Does that sign say "electric fence"? |
| 00:32:38 |
#Is this lump outta my head ## |
| 00:32:40 |
Let's just hope she's still here. |
| 00:32:46 |
Oh, she'I be here: |
| 00:32:48 |
Give her a taste of that white chocolate. |
| 00:32:52 |
What do you think? |
| 00:32:53 |
Oh, my God. |
| 00:32:55 |
- 'Toid me. |
| 00:32:56 |
- Yeah. Thank you. |
| 00:32:59 |
Go get her. |
| 00:33:13 |
# Where have you been |
| 00:33:18 |
#Girl, I've been waiting # |
| 00:33:20 |
#For a while now # |
| 00:33:23 |
- Hi there. |
| 00:33:27 |
- Oh, my God! |
| 00:33:30 |
# That shines brightly on you # |
| 00:33:31 |
# When that pretty dress |
| 00:33:35 |
#Makes you so fine ## |
| 00:33:38 |
Rogue Leader, I presume? |
| 00:33:40 |
Red 6? |
| 00:33:42 |
Let me just put my glasses on. |
| 00:33:44 |
What the hell? |
| 00:33:48 |
You're a kid. |
| 00:33:50 |
- I'm 10. |
| 00:33:51 |
I'm a pedophile! I'm a pedophile! |
| 00:33:55 |
- I'm a pedophile! |
| 00:33:57 |
I have to leave this state at once. |
| 00:34:00 |
Yea! Yea! |
| 00:34:02 |
That was fantastic. |
| 00:34:04 |
We drove a thousand miles, Windows. |
| 00:34:07 |
A thousand. |
| 00:34:08 |
So you can get funky |
| 00:34:11 |
It's not really sex if it's cyber-sex. |
| 00:34:13 |
Relax. We're gonna sit down. |
| 00:34:16 |
- And we're gonna get a better plan. |
| 00:34:18 |
I have to be back by Monday. |
| 00:34:21 |
I haven't told you guys this yet, but my- |
| 00:34:24 |
My dad gave me the company. |
| 00:34:26 |
- Hey! |
| 00:34:28 |
Yeah, the whole thing. |
| 00:34:30 |
What's the new game plan? |
| 00:34:34 |
Let's get in the van |
| 00:34:36 |
- This is just a minor setback. |
| 00:34:39 |
I live in the real world, okay? |
| 00:34:42 |
You have to go back |
| 00:34:49 |
- It's a carriage house. |
| 00:34:52 |
- Say it again. |
| 00:34:54 |
- Excuse me. Excuse me. |
| 00:34:55 |
- Holding my schlong! |
| 00:34:58 |
- Harry Knowles: |
| 00:35:01 |
- Hello. |
| 00:35:05 |
His Web site "Ain't it Cool News" |
| 00:35:09 |
Which one of you's Windows? |
| 00:35:11 |
Me. |
| 00:35:13 |
I'm Windows. |
| 00:35:15 |
- Nice to meet you- |
| 00:35:17 |
Back off! |
| 00:35:20 |
- Oh, God! |
| 00:35:24 |
Harry Knowles is kicking Windows's ass. |
| 00:35:30 |
Now, you listen to me, perv. |
| 00:35:32 |
If you ever e-mail my niece again, |
| 00:35:36 |
Okay, Mr. Knowles, he didn't know- Okay. |
| 00:35:39 |
- You will release my friends. |
| 00:35:42 |
We wanted to break into the Skywalker Ranch. |
| 00:35:45 |
We were gonna break in |
| 00:35:48 |
That is the stupidest thing I've heard |
| 00:35:51 |
- Ohh! - These aren't the droids |
| 00:35:54 |
- Heh! |
| 00:35:57 |
It's very stupid, but true. We've been |
| 00:36:01 |
Listen. |
| 00:36:03 |
If you help us out, we'll give you all |
| 00:36:06 |
- Okay? |
| 00:36:11 |
That's an interesting offer. |
| 00:36:15 |
- Irvin Kershner. |
| 00:36:16 |
You: In Episode VI when Leia shoots down |
| 00:36:19 |
Why doesn't she take one |
| 00:36:22 |
If you pay attention closely, |
| 00:36:24 |
And then Luke refers to it |
| 00:36:26 |
Impressive. I wasn't really |
| 00:36:30 |
What was Luke Skywalker's call sign |
| 00:36:34 |
Red 5. |
| 00:36:35 |
You are al only as strong |
| 00:36:40 |
Helo, weakest link: |
| 00:36:43 |
- What? - What is the name of |
| 00:36:46 |
- It's never discussed in the movies. |
| 00:36:50 |
I know: I know: |
| 00:36:52 |
Do you give up? |
| 00:36:59 |
Come on, man. |
| 00:37:02 |
Kashyyyk. Kashyyyk. |
| 00:37:08 |
Chewie's home planet is Kashyyyk. |
| 00:37:10 |
Well played, boys. |
| 00:37:14 |
You're gonna meet my friend in Vegas. |
| 00:37:16 |
- He's got everything you need. Okay? |
| 00:37:19 |
- How will we know who he is? |
| 00:37:22 |
The password: Scruffy Nerfherder. |
| 00:37:25 |
- Scruffy Nerfherder. |
| 00:37:28 |
Nice detailing. |
| 00:37:30 |
We're going to Vegas, fellas. |
| 00:37:36 |
Hey, Hutch, you mind slowing down? |
| 00:37:38 |
Sorry. I don't speak jagoff. |
| 00:37:41 |
I just thought it might be nice |
| 00:37:44 |
Are you kidding me? |
| 00:37:48 |
We got Imperial bacon. |
| 00:37:52 |
Okay, probably not the best time |
| 00:37:55 |
but, uh, there's a giant bag of peyote |
| 00:37:58 |
- What? |
| 00:38:02 |
The Chief gave it to me. |
| 00:38:04 |
Hutch, just pull over |
| 00:38:06 |
We can't pull over |
| 00:38:09 |
Rul over and stopl |
| 00:38:11 |
Do what he says, Hutch. |
| 00:38:14 |
- Don't do what he says: |
| 00:38:17 |
- It's gonna be okay, fellas. |
| 00:38:20 |
Suck my exhaust, pork rind! |
| 00:38:26 |
- Oh, my God. |
| 00:38:28 |
- Talk to me, Goose. |
| 00:38:31 |
- He found us! |
| 00:38:33 |
- Move this piece of shit! |
| 00:38:36 |
- Well? |
| 00:38:39 |
You got to break rule number two. |
| 00:38:40 |
- Chewie, prepare to make the |
| 00:38:43 |
Okay, I'm ready. |
| 00:38:48 |
Somebody tell me |
| 00:38:51 |
It's light speed, kid. |
| 00:38:53 |
- Light speed? |
| 00:38:55 |
Punch it! |
| 00:38:57 |
What the- Come on! |
| 00:39:00 |
- You're not gonna do this to me now. |
| 00:39:03 |
Light speed. Impressive. |
| 00:39:05 |
I put a tank of nitrous in this thing. |
| 00:39:07 |
- Hutch, please do something. |
| 00:39:09 |
Damn it. |
| 00:39:17 |
Whoo! |
| 00:39:19 |
Oh, my God! |
| 00:39:21 |
It's working! |
| 00:39:25 |
- Stay on target! Stay on target! |
| 00:39:28 |
Oh, shit! |
| 00:39:43 |
I probably shouldn't |
| 00:39:46 |
I think he took it the wrong way. |
| 00:39:49 |
Breakfast. |
| 00:39:51 |
- Oh, God. |
| 00:39:54 |
- Jesus! |
| 00:39:57 |
Ham and cheese. |
| 00:40:01 |
Well, look on the bright side, you guys. |
| 00:40:07 |
It just did, boys. |
| 00:40:10 |
- What? |
| 00:40:12 |
Yeah, I got to throw her into reverse. |
| 00:40:15 |
Bottler, give me your sandwich, bro. |
| 00:40:19 |
Hook me up. |
| 00:40:21 |
- What's the sandwich for? |
| 00:40:23 |
I'm not gonna sit on this. |
| 00:40:26 |
- Oh, Hutch! |
| 00:40:28 |
It's crawling with criminal ass germs. |
| 00:40:31 |
- Just hover, man: |
| 00:40:34 |
You got a visitor- |
| 00:40:38 |
What are you doing with that ham sandwich, |
| 00:40:42 |
Hutch, you owe me a sock: |
| 00:40:44 |
I had to wipe with something: |
| 00:40:47 |
You pussies owe me, big time. |
| 00:40:51 |
- Oh, Zoe, thank God. - We weren't sure |
| 00:40:54 |
If by message you mean Windows shrieking |
| 00:40:59 |
- then yes, message received. |
| 00:41:01 |
Hutch just took a dump in front of us. |
| 00:41:04 |
Yeah. That's life inside the big house. |
| 00:41:07 |
Zoe, promise me you brought the money: |
| 00:41:09 |
I cleared out every cent |
| 00:41:11 |
- You what? |
| 00:41:14 |
I took two taxis, an airplane |
| 00:41:17 |
Next to an old man that I am |
| 00:41:21 |
Hey, hey, okay. |
| 00:41:23 |
The judge wants to see y'all |
| 00:41:26 |
Oh, yeah. |
| 00:41:28 |
Whatever you do, |
| 00:41:31 |
Let me see if I got this right. |
| 00:41:34 |
Now, you tried to outrun |
| 00:41:36 |
because you obtained a bag of peyote |
| 00:41:39 |
who thought it would help |
| 00:41:44 |
- Yes. |
| 00:41:46 |
I'm gonna let you boys go. |
| 00:41:49 |
Not because I believe you. |
| 00:41:52 |
- Because I believe your father. |
| 00:41:55 |
- Mm-hmm. |
| 00:41:57 |
Sure did. |
| 00:41:59 |
He wanted me to give you this message: |
| 00:42:01 |
Approach the bench. |
| 00:42:13 |
Have a nice day, son. |
| 00:42:17 |
Yeah: Man's gone |
| 00:42:21 |
We got to be in Vegas |
| 00:42:24 |
All right. I'm gonna go smack |
| 00:42:27 |
Whoa. Cut him some slack. |
| 00:42:29 |
Okay. |
| 00:42:31 |
I just mapped out our route to Vegas |
| 00:42:35 |
and the closest airport's |
| 00:42:38 |
So all we got to do |
| 00:42:41 |
and then it's a straight shot |
| 00:42:43 |
Ho! Hold on. |
| 00:42:46 |
You haul my ass |
| 00:42:48 |
and expect me to just jump |
| 00:42:50 |
Sorry: It's not gonna happen: |
| 00:42:52 |
Come on. You know this trip is men only. |
| 00:42:54 |
I tell you what. |
| 00:42:56 |
I'll get on the plane |
| 00:43:00 |
Listen, Rrincess: |
| 00:43:02 |
No one wants to see you get hurt. |
| 00:43:05 |
I'm gonna get Botts. |
| 00:43:11 |
- Get off of mel |
| 00:43:14 |
- Be a man, Hutch. |
| 00:43:16 |
- Hutch, say "time-out. " |
| 00:43:18 |
Shoot herl |
| 00:43:20 |
- Help me, for God sake! God help me! |
| 00:43:23 |
- Get the jaws oflifel |
| 00:43:25 |
Welcome aboard. |
| 00:43:30 |
- Now go get Eric. |
| 00:43:33 |
And be nice. |
| 00:43:37 |
You're lucky I have a crush on you. |
| 00:43:42 |
Yo, Botts, you okay? |
| 00:43:46 |
You know, I could do this- |
| 00:43:49 |
Clean slate. |
| 00:43:52 |
No pressure, no responsibility. |
| 00:43:55 |
Yeah, it seems nice, man: |
| 00:43:58 |
In theory it sounds nice. |
| 00:44:04 |
I bet there's not even like a Blockbuster |
| 00:44:09 |
Or like a Falafel Hut or- |
| 00:44:11 |
Guys, shut up. |
| 00:44:15 |
I just figured if I... |
| 00:44:18 |
worked hard and... |
| 00:44:21 |
sold enough cars and impressed my dad |
| 00:44:25 |
I'd feel something. |
| 00:44:28 |
You gotta find your Death Star. |
| 00:44:34 |
Okay, I'll bite. |
| 00:44:36 |
Greatest deed Luke Skywalker ever did... |
| 00:44:39 |
was take down the Death Star, right? |
| 00:44:41 |
As far as I'm concerned, |
| 00:44:45 |
You need that one bad-ass thing... |
| 00:44:50 |
that lets you live on forever, you know. |
| 00:44:55 |
Yeah. |
| 00:45:01 |
Hey, Spice Girlsl |
| 00:45:05 |
Are you gonna swap recipes all day? |
| 00:45:07 |
Vegas awaits, ladies. |
| 00:45:12 |
- Wow! |
| 00:45:18 |
And here's where you learn |
| 00:45:24 |
- You guys thinking |
| 00:45:27 |
They are everywhere, Giles. |
| 00:45:32 |
Mama, star people. |
| 00:45:36 |
This is so gay. |
| 00:45:39 |
Ow! |
| 00:45:41 |
Let me get that for you. |
| 00:45:45 |
You, uh-You might wanna hit the showers. |
| 00:45:49 |
'Cause you smell like something |
| 00:45:52 |
- Yes, Your Highnessness. |
| 00:45:54 |
What in God's name is living on your chest? |
| 00:46:00 |
- Godl |
| 00:46:03 |
- Nice. - Yeah, it's almost 8:00, |
| 00:46:07 |
Then let's go. |
| 00:46:09 |
- You guys coming? |
| 00:46:11 |
I'm just gonna do a bit |
| 00:46:16 |
- Twenty-two. Loser. |
| 00:46:18 |
That is mathematically impossible. |
| 00:46:21 |
I must have the worst luck |
| 00:46:23 |
I heard about the Rogue Leader debacle. |
| 00:46:25 |
- That's one for the record books. |
| 00:46:27 |
A cross between Sarah Michelle Gellar and |
| 00:46:31 |
I just have to face the facts, Zoe. |
| 00:46:34 |
and I've only ever copulated |
| 00:46:37 |
Plenty of guys have |
| 00:46:39 |
I don't know that many women |
| 00:46:42 |
I, uh- |
| 00:46:47 |
Look, you're fine around me. |
| 00:46:49 |
Well, yeah, of course I am. |
| 00:46:53 |
you are not a girl. |
| 00:46:56 |
You know what I mean? |
| 00:46:58 |
No. Please enlighten me. |
| 00:47:00 |
You know every Bond villain, |
| 00:47:03 |
And you've beat every Zelda game |
| 00:47:06 |
- I mean- |
| 00:47:10 |
Hotties on the slotties. |
| 00:47:29 |
I would knock the nickels |
| 00:47:32 |
Dude, you're gonna be my Dak today, |
| 00:47:36 |
- Wait, wait. Whoa, whoa. You wanna just |
| 00:47:41 |
Or in your case, one ball. |
| 00:47:44 |
What are you, the wife? |
| 00:47:47 |
- Wait. You're going over there? |
| 00:47:50 |
Turns out you're more |
| 00:47:53 |
- Apparently, so am I. |
| 00:47:55 |
- Zoel |
| 00:47:58 |
- Pardon me. |
| 00:48:01 |
- Hello. How are you? |
| 00:48:03 |
- Hi. |
| 00:48:06 |
You ladies looking for love |
| 00:48:10 |
- Excuse me? - Alderaan is the last |
| 00:48:14 |
Bomba, bomba, bomba! |
| 00:48:17 |
What my socialy retarded friend |
| 00:48:20 |
Was that we'd like to |
| 00:48:23 |
- Sure. |
| 00:48:26 |
Oh, my God. Wow. |
| 00:48:28 |
You know, uh, Eric and Linus |
| 00:48:31 |
I think that they're going to understand. |
| 00:48:35 |
They're going to understand. |
| 00:48:38 |
Where are they, man? |
| 00:48:41 |
I don't know where they are, but we |
| 00:48:44 |
Convention room's this way. |
| 00:48:53 |
- Rak nonl |
| 00:48:55 |
Phasers on stun. |
| 00:48:57 |
Being the C.E.O. |
| 00:49:00 |
I'm not gonna lie to you, |
| 00:49:02 |
I got a big-ass mansion, you know. |
| 00:49:04 |
I got a butler- |
| 00:49:07 |
Bentley in the drive. |
| 00:49:12 |
I mean, the 1.21 gigawatts, |
| 00:49:16 |
- But I got the duckets, you know. |
| 00:49:19 |
There's nothing more sexy |
| 00:49:22 |
What do you mean? |
| 00:49:24 |
- Uh-huh. |
| 00:49:26 |
- I got a hell of a lot of power. |
| 00:49:28 |
Yeah. |
| 00:49:35 |
You want to come sit on my lap. |
| 00:49:40 |
Oh. Wow. |
| 00:49:43 |
You want to take your shirt off. |
| 00:49:50 |
Wow-ar-r-rm. |
| 00:49:53 |
Yummy! |
| 00:50:07 |
Oh, my God. |
| 00:50:12 |
- Can you smel that? |
| 00:50:13 |
Yeah: |
| 00:50:19 |
Badges. |
| 00:50:23 |
Yeah, we're not here for the Trek: |
| 00:50:26 |
Okay? We're here to see somebody. |
| 00:50:28 |
And who would that be? |
| 00:50:33 |
We're here to see the nerfherder. |
| 00:50:37 |
- Hmm? |
| 00:50:42 |
Ow! Ow! Ow! Stop! |
| 00:50:45 |
And then Zoe just storms off. |
| 00:50:47 |
I mean, she's really... |
| 00:50:49 |
a very difficult specimen |
| 00:50:53 |
If you know what I mean. |
| 00:50:55 |
You just can't act like that |
| 00:51:00 |
Maybe... she doesn't |
| 00:51:05 |
She likes you. |
| 00:51:09 |
But I didn't- |
| 00:51:14 |
Jesus Murphy! |
| 00:51:16 |
Wow. Okay. |
| 00:51:19 |
What-What should I do? |
| 00:51:21 |
Wel, if there's one thing |
| 00:51:25 |
It's that actions speak louder than words. |
| 00:51:28 |
Did you just say "escort"? |
| 00:51:35 |
Fantastic. |
| 00:51:37 |
Shh! |
| 00:51:41 |
- I don't think we're alone. |
| 00:51:43 |
You're latel |
| 00:51:50 |
It's all there- |
| 00:51:52 |
phony I.D.'s to get you past the front |
| 00:51:57 |
What's most important? |
| 00:52:03 |
We never met. |
| 00:52:06 |
- That's Capt- |
| 00:52:09 |
I should- Hi. |
| 00:52:13 |
And there's- |
| 00:52:16 |
And there's Trekkin'with TJ: |
| 00:52:19 |
Just something for the ride: |
| 00:52:21 |
- Thank you. - This is unreal. |
| 00:52:25 |
Are you kidding? |
| 00:52:30 |
- Okay. |
| 00:52:33 |
- Oh. |
| 00:52:36 |
- I'm so glad that we met. |
| 00:52:38 |
This is-Whoa. Hey. |
| 00:52:42 |
Okay, let me go. |
| 00:52:44 |
- Hutch, private convo. Jesus. |
| 00:52:47 |
What are you doing, man? |
| 00:52:49 |
It's not a good time. |
| 00:52:51 |
- Actualy, your hour's over: |
| 00:52:54 |
- Hutch, they're hookers. |
| 00:52:58 |
- The difference being? |
| 00:53:00 |
Excuse me. Sorry. |
| 00:53:03 |
that I just spent the last hour sweet |
| 00:53:08 |
- You could always pay for another hour. |
| 00:53:10 |
- One thousand. |
| 00:53:13 |
- Mm-hmm: |
| 00:53:15 |
- Give me a refund. |
| 00:53:17 |
You know what? We're male prostitutes |
| 00:53:20 |
- You can talk it over with Roach. |
| 00:53:25 |
- Hi, Daddy. |
| 00:53:30 |
- Ten-thousand shares of Priceline? |
| 00:53:33 |
- Wow. - Next time you see Harry Knowles, |
| 00:53:38 |
Friends of yours? |
| 00:53:42 |
Cry havoc! |
| 00:53:50 |
Zinfandel: |
| 00:53:54 |
Uh, this has al been |
| 00:53:57 |
You see, my friend and I, we didn't know |
| 00:54:02 |
You thought you were |
| 00:54:04 |
- Uh, Mr: Roach? |
| 00:54:07 |
Would you mind not eating |
| 00:54:09 |
Buddy, these are like |
| 00:54:14 |
- Oh, yeah? |
| 00:54:16 |
Well, why don't you take it |
| 00:54:19 |
that you and your skinny little idiot |
| 00:54:23 |
- Rebel Alliance, dude. |
| 00:54:25 |
- Rebel Alliance. |
| 00:54:27 |
We recognize the tat. |
| 00:54:30 |
- You're Star Wars fans? |
| 00:54:32 |
Shit. Why didn't you say so, man? |
| 00:54:34 |
You think that's cool, |
| 00:54:37 |
Entire right side, Rebel Aliance: |
| 00:54:39 |
"Do or do not. " That's funny. |
| 00:54:42 |
#And this arm |
| 00:54:45 |
# Don't join the Dark Side |
| 00:54:48 |
Check this out. |
| 00:54:50 |
Fu-Schnickens. |
| 00:54:53 |
That guy's gonna be the shit. |
| 00:54:55 |
- Wow: |
| 00:54:57 |
- I had them do that pose. I thought |
| 00:55:00 |
- You guys are all right. |
| 00:55:04 |
- We're all copacetic? |
| 00:55:07 |
I'm gonna rip off your tongue |
| 00:55:10 |
- we're copacetic: |
| 00:55:14 |
- Windows, now! |
| 00:55:17 |
Thank you so much for listening. |
| 00:55:22 |
- Go, go, go! - Balloons? You thought |
| 00:55:27 |
- Grab the princess. |
| 00:55:28 |
- Get off me. I'm not speaking to you. |
| 00:55:38 |
Why are we running? What did you do? |
| 00:55:42 |
They're everywhere! |
| 00:55:44 |
You're going the wrong way! |
| 00:55:49 |
Yeah! |
| 00:55:52 |
That's him! |
| 00:55:57 |
You called Han Solo a bitch, man! |
| 00:55:59 |
Han Solo is a bitch. |
| 00:56:02 |
No one calls... |
| 00:56:05 |
Han Solo a bitch! |
| 00:56:18 |
- Go, go, go! |
| 00:56:21 |
Why are we running? |
| 00:56:26 |
- Go! Come on! |
| 00:56:33 |
You stop this van, you little sons |
| 00:56:37 |
This is not copacetic. |
| 00:56:43 |
Zoe, hit him with the pressed ham! |
| 00:56:45 |
Yeah! |
| 00:56:51 |
- Yeah! |
| 00:56:55 |
Nailed it. |
| 00:57:00 |
Linus? Jesusl |
| 00:57:02 |
- Where'd he go? |
| 00:57:04 |
Chewie. |
| 00:57:07 |
Dr: Richardson |
| 00:57:11 |
Your friend's awake. |
| 00:57:12 |
- Uh, cool. Can we see him? |
| 00:57:15 |
But first we need to have a little talk. |
| 00:57:17 |
Linus tells me that |
| 00:57:20 |
- Uh, yeah, up to San Francisco. |
| 00:57:24 |
The only place he's going is back to Ohio: |
| 00:57:26 |
- We can't do that. |
| 00:57:32 |
- Uh, he- |
| 00:57:35 |
Star Wars? |
| 00:57:37 |
Look, he is very, very sick |
| 00:57:44 |
No. |
| 00:57:48 |
Guys, we can't-we can't do this now. |
| 00:57:51 |
Not when we're so close. |
| 00:57:56 |
Linus, it's just a movie: |
| 00:58:05 |
Yeah, maybe it is. |
| 00:58:08 |
To most people, Star Wars |
| 00:58:11 |
- Not to us! |
| 00:58:13 |
Screw that doctor! |
| 00:58:16 |
Did-Did they ever get their- their heads |
| 00:58:21 |
- I mean, I don't think so. No. |
| 00:58:23 |
Did they ever singe their eyebrows |
| 00:58:26 |
No way. Did they name |
| 00:58:30 |
Who knows? |
| 00:58:32 |
- But you know who did? |
| 00:58:34 |
Yes, you did. |
| 00:58:36 |
- We all did. |
| 00:58:39 |
This is our Death Star, man. |
| 00:58:44 |
And I don't know about you, guys, |
| 00:58:48 |
- Me neither. |
| 00:58:55 |
What the hell are you doing? |
| 00:58:58 |
It's that way. |
| 00:59:00 |
Jailbreakl |
| 00:59:02 |
What's going on? |
| 00:59:09 |
- Hold it right there! |
| 00:59:12 |
You're our only hope. |
| 00:59:18 |
Take two of these every three hours. |
| 00:59:25 |
Oh, my God. |
| 00:59:30 |
- I love you. |
| 00:59:32 |
Yeah! |
| 00:59:46 |
Mmm. |
| 00:59:49 |
Nothing worse than a locked shitter |
| 00:59:52 |
Seriously, man. |
| 00:59:57 |
That is it, man! |
| 01:00:00 |
Why not? What'd I tell you, |
| 01:00:03 |
Womanly? |
| 01:00:05 |
- Make sure you go tell your friends. |
| 01:00:14 |
Bam, bam, bam! |
| 01:00:19 |
Start the car! Start the van! |
| 01:00:26 |
Hi! |
| 01:00:29 |
- Let's do it! Let's do it! |
| 01:00:31 |
Oh, my God! |
| 01:00:36 |
Oh, my God! Oh, my God! |
| 01:00:39 |
Oh, my God! |
| 01:00:41 |
Shut up, manl It was a hundred |
| 01:00:44 |
Oh, my Godl |
| 01:00:46 |
Lucas Valey Road: |
| 01:00:56 |
Zoe, how we looking out there? |
| 01:01:00 |
One guard manning the booth. |
| 01:01:04 |
- Nothing we can't handle. |
| 01:01:08 |
Level "C" editing bays. It's our best chance |
| 01:01:11 |
Excellent. Okay. |
| 01:01:14 |
we're gonna be off on foot, so we're gonna |
| 01:01:19 |
And you know what that means. |
| 01:01:21 |
Are you shitting- |
| 01:01:28 |
#A modern-day warrior |
| 01:01:31 |
# Today's Tom Sawyer |
| 01:01:40 |
I can do this: |
| 01:01:44 |
- Get up: |
| 01:01:47 |
Windows, make sure there are no cameras: |
| 01:01:50 |
Can you see anything? |
| 01:01:53 |
All right, one, two- |
| 01:01:56 |
- Oh, Jesus! |
| 01:02:01 |
Owl |
| 01:02:03 |
- Okay. |
| 01:02:05 |
Let's go. |
| 01:02:08 |
Get down. Stay low. The ninja roll. |
| 01:02:12 |
Guys, get down! |
| 01:02:14 |
- Jackass. |
| 01:02:19 |
I hate running. |
| 01:02:21 |
This is like the most exercise |
| 01:02:27 |
This is the one Shatner |
| 01:02:34 |
A breach in Skywalker security. |
| 01:02:36 |
Wow. Okay, we're in. |
| 01:02:42 |
I feel like we're in a Scooby-Doo episode. |
| 01:02:44 |
Go, go, go, go. |
| 01:02:48 |
- Hutch? |
| 01:02:50 |
Your ass still smells like ham and cheese. |
| 01:02:58 |
Sweet. That way. |
| 01:03:04 |
Wow. |
| 01:03:16 |
Shatner, don't fail us now, right? |
| 01:03:21 |
Whoa. |
| 01:03:23 |
Yeah! |
| 01:03:34 |
- Oh, my God: |
| 01:03:39 |
We're home, boys. |
| 01:03:42 |
See, that's what I call a collection. |
| 01:03:44 |
This is where I want my ashes scattered. |
| 01:03:55 |
Oh! |
| 01:04:00 |
- "Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. |
| 01:04:03 |
They've got Indy stuff. |
| 01:04:07 |
Thermal detonator. |
| 01:04:09 |
I think I'm gonna cry. |
| 01:04:11 |
Hey. They got Willow's spell book! |
| 01:04:16 |
You know, Willow? |
| 01:04:18 |
Magical- |
| 01:04:22 |
Who cares about Willow? |
| 01:04:24 |
Look at this. |
| 01:04:28 |
"Throw me the idol:" |
| 01:04:32 |
Guys, look at this: |
| 01:04:35 |
One kaddam for the Hebrew god. |
| 01:04:39 |
We have a breach in the archive room. |
| 01:04:52 |
You know, no matter |
| 01:04:57 |
Vader embraced his fate. |
| 01:04:59 |
He faced death head-on. |
| 01:05:04 |
No one moves: |
| 01:05:08 |
Subjects have been located: |
| 01:05:11 |
Please step away from Lord Vader. |
| 01:05:14 |
Dude, what's up with the outfits? |
| 01:05:17 |
Company policy. |
| 01:05:19 |
You wanna work here, |
| 01:05:21 |
Carl, you make us wear the suit. |
| 01:05:25 |
- Run? - |
| 01:05:29 |
- Zoe! |
| 01:05:31 |
- I'm not leaving without her. - What, |
| 01:05:34 |
Never tell me the odds. |
| 01:05:36 |
There can be only one. |
| 01:05:44 |
Time for you to get mauled, boy. |
| 01:05:53 |
I'm good. |
| 01:05:56 |
- Go! |
| 01:05:59 |
Man downl Man downl |
| 01:06:07 |
Stop! Don't move! |
| 01:06:09 |
Run! |
| 01:06:11 |
Subjects are fleeing to the west corridor! |
| 01:06:13 |
- Go, go, go! |
| 01:06:16 |
Go, go! |
| 01:06:18 |
Come on! |
| 01:06:24 |
Hmm: Yoda says going up you are: |
| 01:06:36 |
- In! |
| 01:06:40 |
- Hurry! |
| 01:06:43 |
Move it! Over there! |
| 01:06:46 |
Over there! Let's go! |
| 01:06:52 |
That was awesome! |
| 01:06:55 |
Where the hel are we? |
| 01:06:57 |
I have a bad feeling about this. |
| 01:06:59 |
Um, you guys don't think that the, um- |
| 01:07:03 |
We are in George Lucas's trash room. |
| 01:07:05 |
Don't be ridiculous, okay? |
| 01:07:11 |
- Holy- |
| 01:07:17 |
- Let's fortify the walls with this. |
| 01:07:19 |
- Um, girls? |
| 01:07:22 |
Girls! |
| 01:07:24 |
That'd be the air duct. |
| 01:07:27 |
- And that there's the exit. |
| 01:07:30 |
- And you guys are the big pussies. |
| 01:07:33 |
"3PO! |
| 01:07:39 |
Guys, this way! |
| 01:07:43 |
- Yikes! |
| 01:07:46 |
This one's clear: |
| 01:07:57 |
Damn it, shut up! |
| 01:08:02 |
I think we lost 'em, right? |
| 01:08:08 |
Yeah, we lost them for now, but we |
| 01:08:15 |
Guys! |
| 01:08:18 |
We're in the motherboard: |
| 01:08:20 |
- George Lucas's office. |
| 01:08:24 |
Holy shit: Oh, wow: |
| 01:08:27 |
- Oh, my God. |
| 01:08:29 |
You guys need to see this. |
| 01:08:34 |
Holy Hothl |
| 01:08:37 |
- I think this is it. I think this is it. |
| 01:08:40 |
Play it. Play it. |
| 01:08:43 |
Hey, get over here. |
| 01:08:50 |
The crawl! |
| 01:08:52 |
The crawlI |
| 01:08:54 |
Oh, my God. |
| 01:09:03 |
Come on! Come on! |
| 01:09:09 |
- Here you are. |
| 01:09:15 |
That hooker in Vegas gave me something. |
| 01:09:18 |
What? |
| 01:09:19 |
The truth. |
| 01:09:22 |
I'm in love with you and, uh- |
| 01:09:25 |
I love you too. |
| 01:09:27 |
Stand back: |
| 01:09:40 |
- Okay, on your feet! |
| 01:09:43 |
- Yeah! Come on up! On your feet! |
| 01:09:46 |
Nowl Get on your feetl |
| 01:09:48 |
Yeah, get on your feet! |
| 01:09:51 |
- And line up against the wal, al of youl |
| 01:09:53 |
Get up! What are you talkin' about? Hey! |
| 01:09:56 |
Step away from the Millennium Falcon |
| 01:10:01 |
- Now! |
| 01:10:03 |
- Oh, God. |
| 01:10:06 |
I'm feeling crazy right now. |
| 01:10:09 |
- Dude, do you have any idea how valuable |
| 01:10:11 |
Rut it down: Come on: |
| 01:10:14 |
You guys stand up against the wall, or I |
| 01:10:19 |
I wil: |
| 01:10:22 |
- No. |
| 01:10:25 |
- No, I don't. |
| 01:10:27 |
or, no, you don't, you think that I will? |
| 01:10:29 |
- The first one. |
| 01:10:33 |
- You tell me. |
| 01:10:35 |
Because if he puts down the Milennium |
| 01:10:38 |
erasing it from history: |
| 01:10:40 |
- Come on, guys. Let's rethink this. |
| 01:10:42 |
- Who's doing what? - Put down the |
| 01:10:45 |
or I wil destroy this puppet: |
| 01:10:47 |
- Craig! You can't! |
| 01:10:49 |
- Put down Master Yoda! |
| 01:10:52 |
I can't do it! |
| 01:10:55 |
- All right, everybody shut up! |
| 01:10:57 |
Swear to God, this little ewok |
| 01:11:01 |
- Do it. Go ahead. Burn it. |
| 01:11:04 |
- Yeah, burn it. |
| 01:11:06 |
- I will. |
| 01:11:08 |
- I'm gonna. That's what I said! |
| 01:11:10 |
Good. I was always more of |
| 01:11:13 |
Damn Trekkies are everywhere! |
| 01:11:18 |
All right, we'll take it from here. |
| 01:11:24 |
- I can't believe I let you guys |
| 01:11:31 |
How you guys doing? |
| 01:11:36 |
So let me get this right. |
| 01:11:38 |
You guys wanted to see |
| 01:11:42 |
So you broke into private property, huh? |
| 01:11:45 |
- And you tried to steal it. |
| 01:11:47 |
I haven't even seen the movie yet! |
| 01:11:49 |
Sir, I understand that this looks bad- |
| 01:11:51 |
It looks like three-to-five-years, |
| 01:11:54 |
That's right, sweet cheeks. |
| 01:11:57 |
your faces are gonna be |
| 01:12:00 |
just like your one nut. |
| 01:12:02 |
What? How can he possibly know that? |
| 01:12:06 |
Oh, we know about your uniball. |
| 01:12:08 |
We know everything, |
| 01:12:13 |
Son of Gloria. |
| 01:12:16 |
Dude, you're freaking me out. |
| 01:12:18 |
Because you have a Rush shirt on, dipshit. |
| 01:12:20 |
And because we have |
| 01:12:25 |
No one move! |
| 01:12:27 |
Get your hands off the glass table. |
| 01:12:30 |
Hello, Mr. Lucas. |
| 01:12:33 |
Shut up! |
| 01:12:35 |
- Yes. |
| 01:12:38 |
Yes. Shut up. Mm-hmm. |
| 01:12:42 |
I don't wanna say that it was a hole in my |
| 01:12:45 |
- I used a grappling hook- |
| 01:12:47 |
- Was William Shatner involved with this? |
| 01:12:50 |
They said no: |
| 01:12:54 |
Mm-hmm: |
| 01:12:56 |
Okay. Very well. |
| 01:13:01 |
Damn it. I've just been told that what |
| 01:13:06 |
Hmm? |
| 01:13:11 |
Mr. Lucas is touched and mildly flattered |
| 01:13:14 |
And I have been informed |
| 01:13:17 |
So the charges are gonna be dropped. |
| 01:13:21 |
That is, of course, if you are... |
| 01:13:24 |
what you appear to be. |
| 01:13:27 |
Uh, what do we appear to be? |
| 01:13:29 |
Fanboys. Something we can easily |
| 01:13:40 |
What is the name of the planet |
| 01:13:42 |
as the false location of the rebel base |
| 01:13:44 |
- Dantooine. - What is the name of |
| 01:13:48 |
- Dak. |
| 01:13:53 |
- What? - If you were to ask a woman |
| 01:13:57 |
where would your testicles end up? |
| 01:13:59 |
That's not a Star Wars question. |
| 01:14:02 |
I didn't say the nipples. |
| 01:14:05 |
Yar-Arr- |
| 01:14:08 |
That is not a Louisiana pile driver. |
| 01:14:10 |
But you wouldn't know |
| 01:14:14 |
Virgin. |
| 01:14:16 |
Areola borealis? |
| 01:14:18 |
Near the-the, um, bumps? |
| 01:14:22 |
That's what you do. |
| 01:14:25 |
lead her around the room- |
| 01:14:27 |
God, you're sexy and well-versed. |
| 01:14:31 |
Okay. Guards! |
| 01:14:33 |
- Okay, that's it. - That's what happens. |
| 01:14:35 |
- I'm good. |
| 01:14:37 |
Congratulations. |
| 01:14:44 |
So, what? |
| 01:14:47 |
Well, not exactly. |
| 01:14:50 |
What? |
| 01:14:55 |
Hold it. Hold it. |
| 01:15:02 |
It's good, man. |
| 01:15:09 |
#Hey, are you lonely # |
| 01:15:14 |
#Has summer gone so slowly # |
| 01:15:18 |
# We found the ground # |
| 01:15:23 |
#And that damage was done # |
| 01:15:27 |
#It's cold |
| 01:15:32 |
# Where'd you go # |
| 01:15:37 |
# To me # |
| 01:15:48 |
#But you're alive # |
| 01:15:50 |
# Wel, it's only # |
| 01:15:53 |
#Falen frames |
| 01:15:57 |
# You stand out # |
| 01:16:01 |
#It's so loud |
| 01:16:06 |
#It's cold as you face |
| 01:16:10 |
Chewie. |
| 01:16:14 |
# Tonight the sun |
| 01:16:18 |
#So what if you catch me |
| 01:16:23 |
#In somebody's life |
| 01:16:28 |
#Sing to me hope |
| 01:16:33 |
#Al of our work |
| 01:16:40 |
# Where to go ## |
| 01:16:50 |
- That's not bad. |
| 01:17:04 |
There's something I need to- |
| 01:17:07 |
probably tell you before, uh- |
| 01:17:09 |
Before I'm gone. |
| 01:17:12 |
You could say it. |
| 01:17:17 |
I just- I wish I could... |
| 01:17:23 |
change these last three years, you know: |
| 01:17:27 |
You know, I wouldn't want you to. |
| 01:17:30 |
You gotta keep the flaws. |
| 01:17:33 |
Crappy effects. |
| 01:17:35 |
Real puppets. |
| 01:17:37 |
That's what makes it so good, you know? |
| 01:17:40 |
Yeah. |
| 01:17:42 |
This was never about the movie: |
| 01:17:45 |
You know, this was, uh- |
| 01:17:51 |
Hey. |
| 01:17:56 |
Look at us. |
| 01:17:59 |
No teaming upl That's a rulel |
| 01:18:02 |
You're such dicks! |
| 01:18:04 |
- Both of you are dicks! |
| 01:18:07 |
- Please. |
| 01:18:09 |
No, I'm good right here. |
| 01:18:12 |
All right, man. |
| 01:18:23 |
I'm good right here. |
| 01:18:41 |
Guys, it's time. |
| 01:18:45 |
That better be your lucky R2 poking me. |
| 01:18:48 |
Nope. My penis. |
| 01:18:54 |
You guys are gross. |
| 01:19:15 |
Any, uh- |
| 01:19:25 |
- Talk to me. |
| 01:19:27 |
I'm just finishing up |
| 01:19:29 |
- Shake a leg, ya bastard. We're |
| 01:19:43 |
Okay! |
| 01:19:45 |
Yes! That's awesome. |
| 01:19:49 |
- Hey! |
| 01:19:51 |
Right at the buzzer. |
| 01:19:53 |
Yeah! |
| 01:19:57 |
Excuse me. |
| 01:20:00 |
Yeah. |
| 01:20:04 |
- We just got your new comic. |
| 01:20:07 |
- Thanks, guys. I appreciate that. |
| 01:20:09 |
I think it's quite shoddy. |
| 01:20:11 |
- Worst series ever. |
| 01:20:15 |
- The artwork is neophyte: |
| 01:20:18 |
- What's up, my nerds? |
| 01:20:21 |
Why don't you ask the man for an autograph? |
| 01:20:26 |
Do it! |
| 01:20:28 |
"You are a douche bag. |
| 01:20:32 |
Love, Eric Bottler. " |
| 01:20:35 |
All right, let's move it, |
| 01:20:39 |
- Move it! Let's go! - Chaz, what the |
| 01:20:42 |
Ah, come on, bro. |
| 01:20:44 |
I love that about you. |
| 01:20:47 |
Look at you, C-3Penis Face. |
| 01:20:58 |
- Doctor. |
| 01:21:00 |
- Smart man. |
| 01:21:02 |
They're good: There you go: |
| 01:21:04 |
- Hey, you guys. To Linus. |
| 01:21:22 |
- Hey, you guys. |
| 01:21:25 |
What if the movie sucks? |
